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thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

The Discovery

Summary: Roman and Remus learn some things about their family, through intentional gifting of information and thoroughly prying.

Chapter 1 - Read on A03

Series: Remus, Roman, and the Chaos From Childhood

Tags: Logicality, Creativitwins, swearing, Remus is a main character so there’s some Remus type stuff, Family chaos, human au, the adults were in a band, Roman and Remus like to plot

The basement was dark as Roman walked down the stairs, trailing his Pops.

“So what exactly are we looking for?” Roman asked as he rubbed his hands together at the thought of touching anything down here, it was all caked in dust.

Patton flicked on the light and grinned, “a box!”

“Oh wonderful, that’ll be easy.” Roman said sarcastically, looking around at the basement which was basically just boxes.

“Well it’s not just any box, it’s an old one of mine from when I was around your age!”

“And you still have that?” Roman asked skeptically.

“Well yeah! I mean it’s definitely here somewhere.” Patton shrugged, “Whether or not it’ll be in the best condition is… eh up for debate.”

“Uh-huh…” Roman pulled down his sleeves over his hands and began to shift some things around in search of this mystery box. “How big is it?”

“Oh not huge,” Patton held his hands about shoulder width, “and it’s a square, so…”

“Got it.” Roman said, “Cardboard?”

“Is there any other kind!”

Roman hummed as he kept searching, “So… what’s in it?”

Patton laughed, “Oh well if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise would it! And anyway if we don’t end up finding it, you’ll be less disappointed this way.”

“I suppose.”

About two hours of searching later, in which time Roman had turned on his Mystical Magical Musicals playlist and was currently singing his heart out to ‘Our Lady of the Underground’, Patton made a triumphant sound.

“Ah-ha!”

Roman turned around half expecting his Pa to be holding another old family photo album for them to flip through for twenty minutes, but instead Patton was holding an open box.

“Is that it?” Roman asked as he turned down the music.

“Yes! Come on let’s go upstairs, we’ve spent too much time in this dusty hole as it was.”

Roman happily complied and as they did so, he heard Patton mumble, “I really need to do some spring cleaning.”

Patton set the box down on the kitchen table and Roman swore a cloud of dust came off of it, “Papa how old is this?”

He just laughed, “you know how old I am, you can do the math.”

Roman huffed, “yeah yeah, I could but you could just tell me and save me the math!”

“Dad would be mortified to hear you say that.” Patton said lightheartedly.

“Yeah well he’s not here! Anyway what’s in it! You’re not gonna make me wait for Remus to get home right?”

“No no,” Patton said as he began to open it, sending more dust everywhere. “You helped me look for it, so you get the first look at it!”

Roman was vibrating with excitement as he bounced from foot to foot. Patton opened the box, “Tada!”

Roman peered into the box, it looked pretty full, but nothing really stood out, in general everything just looked old. “What is it?”

“Some stuff from high school!”

“Like tests and stuff?”

“Nope! Fun stuff.” Patton said with a grin, “this was from high school after hours. This is about the band, you know that story Vee told at dinner last week?”

“Hey yeah!” Roman said, “I was talking with Remus after and we really think we could handle whatever those lyrics were. We know when we were kids and you told us about your high school escapades leaving things out made sense but we’re literally like the same age as you were. They can’t be that inappropriate-”

“Kiddo I don’t think Virgil didn’t tell you because he thought they were inappropriate.”

Roman frowned, “then why…?”

“I think he might have been a little embarrassed.” Patton took out a binder, the cover was tearing but on the little plastic front pocket were so many little doodles.

“We all did the covers,” Patton said, getting an almost far off look in his eyes, “Each of them are different, and we each have a binder, I don’t know if the others kept theirs though.”

“So what exactly is it?”

“All in good time! This box is our band or some of the physical evidence of it existing anyway. There should be recordings of all our songs, some of them might have video too!”

“Recordings?” Roman sat up straighter and peered into the box, “Really? Oh I can’t wait to see you and Dad in your teen forms!”

“Janus and Virgil too! We should all be there…” Patton pulled a tape out of the box and blew some dust off of it. “Just need to find something to play it on, I’m sure Dad’s got something lying around but I wouldn’t know where it is.”

Roman groaned, “So does that mean I do have to wait for Remus?”

“For part of it!” Patton said, “but we still have all these binders and photo albums to look through. There are a lot of pictures.”

Roman reached in and took out a photo album, “who was the resident photographer?”

“I mean besides all of your grandparents who definitely took a lot, especially when we got our first gigs, Virgil was the photographer of the group, I think he liked having an excuse not to be in photos.”

“Huh.”

“Yep he was really into photography in high school,” Patton opened the album and Roman gasped.

“Oh- My- God- Dad had long hair that was dyed? Dad’s jacket too, I love it, it looks like something Remus would wear.” Roman said as he gestured to a ragtag jean vest which was over a sweatshirt. The vest was covered in various patches and pins, it looked worn and imperfect and incredibly personal.

“It does, doesn’t it!”

“I wonder if Dad still had it.”

Patton hummed, “Oh yeah probably. If he donated it or gave it away that would have definitely been an emotional moment and there’d probably be pictures of it somewhere.”

“You wouldn’t remember?”

“Oh you know my memory kiddo, it’s best not to rely on it for these things, Logan would know though.”

Roman hummed as he flipped to the next picture, “Is that… is that Janus? Oh look at him! Is that steampunk? Is he wearing a top hat and a leather corset and those shoes! Oh I love that. And that overcoat, did Janus make that?”

“Yeah I think so! Foreshadowing really.”

“Oh wow, it doesn’t fit him at all but somehow he’s actually pulling it off?”

“Janus’s motto back then was ‘if it’s wearable, I’ll find a way to wear it’ and he always did that and did it confidently too.”

“Padre, that’s still Janus’s motto. Nothing has changed.”

Roman flipped to the next picture, “Oh Virgil looks- wait. Oh my god is that you?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that photo was in there!”

“This is some photo.” Roman said looking at the photo of his Pa in full head to toe emo garb, standing on a picnic table, and holding a small dog up in the air as if it was Simba. “Did you give Virgil fashion tips he just took 15 years too late?”

“I don’t think so, but that would be funny!”

“You’re wearing fishnets! I didn’t even know you knew what fishnets are?”

“Of course I know what a fishnet is! It’s what fishermen use to-”

Roman waved off the incoming dad joke as he stared in awe at this photo, “I just can’t get over this, your outfit completely doesn’t fit your personality at all.”

“I think you’d be surprised, I mean I was definitely a nice goth—”

“This is full on emo not goth.”

“—but I had a lot of feelings I didn’t understand!”

“Like romantic feelings?”

“If you like, and that small act of rebellion made life a little bit easier!”

“This is absolutely wild, I mean at least dad was wearing glasses!”

Patton laughed, “Yeah… I didn’t need them or at least I didn’t know I needed them, I’m not sure which. But I got glasses in college.”

“Oh I love this.” Roman said, as he flipped the page, “Is Virgil in here somewhere? I need blackmail material.”

“I’m sure he’s in there somewhere, but I doubt he’s going to look as exciting as you—”

“A hoodie?” Roman cried as he found a picture of Virgil, “he’s wearing jeans and a plain grey hoodie, it’s not even black, did he wear anything interesting at all?”

“He was really in his shell in high school,” Patton said. “Now college, that’s when experimenting happened for him.”

Roman’s eyes lit up, “Oh? And where might those pictures be?”

“One thing at a time Roman, college was a lot more complicated,” Patton blew out some breath with a smile, “Yeah definitely complicated. But Remus doesn’t even know about this! So why don’t we focus on this for now.”

“Ugh fine,” Roman groaned. “He better hurry up and get home or else-”

Right on cue the front door swung open and slammed into the wall, “I’m HOME!” Remus screeched before looking into the kitchen, “Oh you’re just there!”

“Yes and I might as well be deaf now so thanks for that!”

“What ‘cha doing?” Remus asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Hello,” Logan said as he walked in after Remus. “We are destroying the house this afternoon I see.” He said as he inspected the wall the door had slammed into.

Remus rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I wanna know what this box is about!”

“Box?” Logan asked as he stopped fussing with the wall.

“Yes box!” Patton said, “Roman and I dug up my old memory box, you know the one from high school?”

Remus peered over at what Roman was holding, “So what’s the deal with it? Wait is that Virgil?”

“I know right?” Roman said. “He looks so normal, not even eyeshadow, it’s almost disappointing.”

“You’re acting like he doesn’t wear clothing like that ever,” Logan pointed out. “He sometimes goes more causal.”

Remus nodded, “Why is it crazy that he looks like just about every high schooler that doesn’t care?”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “Oh you’ve seen nothing until you’ve seen the others.”

Logan walked up next to Patton and kissed the top of his head as Roman enthusiastically showed Remus the photos, “They’re never going to stop talking about it,” Logan murmured into Patton’s hair.

“Is that so bad?”

“Papa what's in the binder?” Roman asked excitedly as he gestured to the binder Patton was still holding.

“Oh these were our songs! Definitely my parts at least.” Patton pushed the binder over towards the twins and smiled, “Why don’t you kids take that upstairs to look through while Dad and I look for a way to play these old recordings.”

“Just be careful with it,” Logan interjected before anyone could move. “The paper might be fragile.”

“It’s paper!” Remus pointed out, “Of course it’s fragile, we might be stupid...” Remus trailed off and punctuated his sentence with a nod.

“We do know what paper is Dad, have a little faith in us.” Roman said as he picked up the binder that held so many memories.

“On the contrary, I have the utmost faith in you,” Logan said. “However both of you don’t have the best track record of preserving important documents. So I thought it was worth mentioning.”

“It’s not that bad!” Roman protested, and Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Need I remind you of all the times you alone have folded and torn up your notes and homework from school? Or the time I had to stop you from nearly destroying your social security card or when you both-”

Roman stuck out his tongue, “Whatever! We won’t do it this time, these are like ancient relics!”

Patton laughed, “Hey now, we’re not that old!”

“Sure you’re not Pops!” Remus joked, “You guys were probably around before paper was even invented.”

With that comment, Remus grabbed Roman’s hand and dragged him out of the room.

“Gotta leave before Dad thinks of a way to turn that around on us,” Remus half-whispered.

“Us? You said that not me. Don’t drag me down with you.”

“We’ve been dragging each other down since day one, you can’t back out on me now,” Remus said as they got to their room.

Roman plopped the binder down on his bed and hummed as he began to flip through it, “Pa played bass right?”

Remus nodded, “Think so, I wonder if dad still has his binder.”

Roman grinned, “Oh I bet he does, if Pa would never let him throw it out.” Roman sat up and thrust the binder towards Remus, “I say we do dramatic readings of them!”

“And you’re giving it to me why?” Remus asked as he took it.

“Well I’m not doing this by myself!” Roman hopped off his bed and grabbed his guitar, “with music or no?”

“Am I singing?” Remus asked as he flipped to the first song.

“You don’t sound like it.”

Remus whacked Roman lightly with the binder.

Roman gasped, “Careful—! That’s ancient history you’re hitting me with!”

Remus looked down and his eyes went wide, “You’re so right- we have to be careful, it could turn into dust at any moment, then maybe we’d have to eat it like cremated ashes!”

“You don’t eat ashes? Remus you know that right? Remus?”

“Anyway!” Remus said blatantly ignoring Roman’s question as he turned back to the first page, “prepare yourself and take a seat dear brother, I’m taking this one solo.” Remus looked Roman dead in the eye and said seriously, “You’re not ready for this jelly.”

“Okay we’re coming back to the ashes thing, but I can’t believe you just said that. With a straight face.” Roman said as he sat back down on his bed.

“Nothing about my face is straight! Now-” Remus cleared his throat and said in his best imitation of a presenter voice, “-introducing Remus Alejandro Berry with his one man show called-” Remus glanced down at the book, “The Song in My Heart.”

“The song in my heart? Sounds like a romcom!”

Remus wrinkled his nose, “oh it does. Actually wasn’t that the movie you made me watch last night?”

“That was La La Land.”

“I’m not hearing a difference.” Remus said with a grin.

Roman rolled his eyes, “Whatever, when is this from?”

Remus squints at the binder, “Uh a long time ago? Math brain is in its jar right now. Now shush and let me serenade you with my epic reading and/or possibly singing.”

Remus was almost definitely not singing the right tune, as he burst into a mix of dramatic declarations and off key singing. It didn’t sound good, it was janky and all types of syncopated. But Remus’s mess of timing was just the right amount of intentional fuck ups and accidental ones that Roman was laughing before the chorus.

And the lyrics were unbelievably mushy.

Roman wrinkled his nose in semi-fake disgust through his laughter as Remus finished the song and immediately dropped the binder and pretended to make out with an invisible person, “Gross-”

“What?” Remus raised an eyebrow, “Is that not what the lyrics were implying was happening next?”

“I mean I guess, but it’s still gross!”

“Who do you think wrote that one?” Roman asked as he picked up the binder and looked for a name.

“I mean it’s got Pap’s name written all over it right?” Remus said.

“They were different people back then!” Roman argued, “I mean you saw the pictures of them, Padre was all emo.”

Remus snorted, “Imagine if it was Virgil, they trade.”

“Yeah he’s the least likely to write a love song, especially one that sappy and longingful, although Dad’s a close second.”

“It was pretty pine-y wasn’t it?” Remus said as he flipped through the book. “I wonder who it’s about, do you think they fucked in the end?”

“I wasn’t considering that in the slightest,” Roman said as he recoiled from the thought, “I would prefer not to think about my parental figures fucking thank you very much. What I was thinking though is I bet even the high school punk rebellion version of Dad took some notes for himself, and I bet it says who wrote what.”

Remus’s eyes glinted, “You go snoop in their room while I ask Dad about it?”

Roman stuck out a hand, “Deal.”

“Why hello father~” Remus said as he bounded into the kitchen with the binder in hand.

Logan looked up from his laptop narrowed his eyes, “What do you need?”

“Can’t a guy just greet his dad?”

“You can, but you don’t. And you definitely don’t do it like that.”

“Touché Daddy dearest-”

“Undeniably weirder.”

Remus plopped down on a chair next to Logan, “But I don’t really need anything from you persay, we just had some questions about this song!”

“Oh! Not trying to get out of trouble or rope me into another over the top, fantastical contraption then.” Logan said as he shut his laptop and shifted it to the side.

“ You start half of those ideas! You really only have yourself to blame.”

“Touché,” Logan conceded with a smile.

“But anyway!” Remus said as he sat down next to Logan, “This was the song we looked at.”

Logan seemed to go through about fifty emotions in the span of a few seconds as Remus pushed the binder towards him. When his emotions settled, Logan was laughing. “Oh of course you would find this one first. What were you wondering?”

“May things!” Remus said with a grin, “Who wrote it?”

Logan mumbled something under his breath with a smile before saying, “I did.”

“You. You? Are you sure?”

Logan rubbed his thumb over the worn paper the song was scribbled on, “Pretty sure.”

“Wha— For who?”

Logan rubbed the back of his neck, “it was my girlfriend at the time.”

“Bullshit.”

“Remus!”

“I mean come on Dad. This song has real emotion behind it and longing . Like stupidly intense pining. This doesn’t feel like a ‘we’re already dating’ song, and especially not ‘I’m gay and am not into you but in denial’ song.”

“I cared about her! We were friends!”

“Yeah sure! But this is not a friendship song. Who was it? Was it Papa? Was it not Papa?”

“I-”

“Does he know who it is? Who would he say it was about?”

“He-” Logan rubbed a hand over his eyes, “Okay I’ll tell you, but you gotta promise not to tell your Pa.”

“I promise I won’t tell him!” Remus parroted with a grin.

“I told them all it was for my girlfriend, including Patton-”

“But?”

Logan looked around to be sure there weren’t any prying ears. “But I wrote it about Patton.”

Remus gasped, “Really! Fuck you were really pining since day one huh?”

“You can not tell Patton.”

“He’d love it,” Remus taunted.

“It’s not even a good song.” Logan argued, “It’s not like that was the only song I ever wrote about him, that was just the first. You can’t tell him anything, it would be mortifying.”

“Fine fine, I won’t tell him. Thanks for the info!” Remus promptly skipped out of the room before Logan could realize the grievous error he’d made.

He bounded up the stairs and into his room. Roman was sitting at his desk and he visibly relaxed when Remus walked in.

“You scared me! Come running up the stairs when I’m snooping.”

Remus waved off Roman’s complaint, “Whatever! I found out what we needed to know!”

“Good cause I found absolutely nothing.”

“So apparently! He told everyone it was for his girlfriend at the time-”

“Dad had a girlfriend?”

“Weird right? But anyway, he told everyone it was for her, but actually it was all about Paps.”

“Oh how piningly romantic!” Roman clicked his tongue, “And awfully out of character, do you think Padre knows?

Remus cackled, “Oh I know he doesn’t! I was practically begged not to tell him, but to be fair I only promised that I wouldn’t tell him.”

“Oh rookie mistake by Dad,” Roman said with a grin, “So we set up then I tell him?”

“They’re going out tonight, it’s perfect timing.”

Roman winced, “Who’s the sitter? This might get hard if it’s-”

Virgil stood on the doorstep, his back illuminated by the setting sun as he saluted slightly, “Hey Pat, Lo, I heard through the spider web that you had some chaos gremlins that need watching over.”

#Mangowrites #roman sanders #ts roman #remus sanders #ts remus #creativitwins #sanders sides #ts logicality #logicality #ts logan #patton sanders #logan sanders #ts patton #band au #human au #ts fandom #ts fanfic

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thesentientmango · 3 years

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Comparing Perspectives

Summary: Virgil couldn’t believe this was happening, just his luck that his kinda sorta maybe crush who was also super intimidatingly smart would be in a class with him and was currently presenting the same topic as he was assigned for his project, just with the complete opposite view! Great! Fantastic! Brilliant! Everything was going perfectly.

Authors notes: For the TSS Reverse Mini-Bang Challenge! This was based on this wonderful piece of art which can be found here! by @glass-undrawing

Tags: panic attacks, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, fluff

Read on AO3 ———

Logan had to admit out of his fellow classmate’s presentations, none had been quite as jarring as the student who currently had the floor so to speak. From his place in the middle of the front row, also known as the best seat in the class as he’d learnt from his many years of being a student, he watched this… display take place.

Virgil was perched precariously on a stool as he moved his hands around so violently to try and accentuate his points. Logan was worried he was going to propel himself right off of the stoll. “In conclusion,” Virgil said as he slapped the white board that had the final slide of his project projected on it. “We’re all gonna die! Every great civilization has its peak and then crumbles drastically and guess what fuckers-!”

Mr. Sanders, or Thomas as he attempted to make everyone call him, cleared his throat in loud obvious objection to Virgil’s language.

“Guess what,” Virgil waved his hand slightly as he tried to think of a good word to substitute. “Friends,” Virgil rolled his eyes as he could before continuing. “It’s our turn! It won’t be long before we’re all dust, and it’s not like history is going to remember any of us anyway, so what’s the point of any of this? Trick question there is none! Thank you for your time.”

Logan watched dumbfounded as Virgil returned to his seat in the back corner of the room, also known as the worst place to see the board, as clapping filled the room. His fellow classmate’s project had been… compelling in a way. Logan had to admit he hadn’t thought much of Virgil for a while, not really, Virgil certainly didn’t stand out in a crowd and he seemed a bit half hearted in most things he did.

But with the way Virgil had presented it, his flourishing moments had been hypnotising, and unlike some of the other students’ over active hands, Virgil’s motions had seemed intentional, calculated, and above all were not distracting to the presentation, but added to it. Logan was entranced to say the least.

It was like he hadn’t really seen Virgil before. And Virgil was fascinating.

Of course with all that being said, Virgil’s project happened to be completely contradictory to his own.

“Thank you Virgil.” Mr. Sanders said sincerely, “Now who’s up next?”

Logan, despite himself, found his own hand being raised. It was true he had yet to present his project, however knowing what his own project was, and his calm mannerisms opposed to Virgil’s exaggerated ones, Logan was a little worried about the juxtaposition.

“Great!” The bell rang. Mr. Sanders looked up to the clock on the wall, “Ah that’s lunch. Logan, we'll continue with you afterwards.”

Logan stood up hastily, grabbing his backpack. He did his best not to look at Virgil on his way out, but he could have sworn he saw Virgil staring at him through his peripheral vision.

Without looking to confirm Virgil was in fact looking at him, the very thought figuratively made his heart try to burst out of his chest, Logan made his way to the cafeteria. He sat down quickly and instead of getting his lunch out grabbed his laptop and opened his project.

“Hello to you too.” Janus drawled as he took a bite of food.

“Janus.” Logan looked up and nodded quickly. “Yes hello. I’m… busy.”

Clearly unimpressed with his answer, Janus cleared his throat loudly, “To what do I owe the absence of your company?”

“I’m sitting here like I do everyday? I’m not gone.”

Janus sighed, “No flair for the dramatics at all.”

Logan shrugged absentmindedly, “If you wanted dramatics you should have asked Remus.”

“Let me put it more plainly,” Janus said. “What is so important that you have to work on it during lunch?”

“I have to… check over my project for Mr. Sanders’ class.”

Janus raised an eyebrow, “Thomas’s class? Oh please you’ll do fine. His class is a cakewalk if you pay attention, which I know you do.”

Logan frowned, “Cakewalk?”

“It’s easy. Meaning you don’t have to do anything extra for your project.”

“He’s not why I’m checking my project,” Logan mumbled.

“Oh~” Remus said as he slapped his lunch tray down on the table, “Does dick-tionary have someone he wants to impress?”

“I do not!” Logan protested.

Janus set a hand on the back of Logan’s computer and slapped it closed, “Fantastic. You can eat then.”

“But my-”

“Your project is done, is it not?” Janus said.

“Well yes technically but-”

Remus faked a gag, “Extra work? During lunch? Disgusting. Shut up and eat a sandwich.”

Logan huffed and took out his lunch box. “Fine.”

“Lovely.” Janus said, “Now… this person who you were trying to impress?”

“I'm not telling you,” Logan said flatly.

“Pity.” Janus said with a smirk, “I suppose we’ll just have to guess then!”

“I’m under no obligation to tell you if you guess it correctly.”

Janus waved him off as he rummaged through his backpack for the other pieces of loose food he put in there, no matter what Logan said Janus still refused to get a lunch box, “oh that won’t matter.”

“I have an excellent poker face,” Logan retorted.

Janus narrowed his eyes and took a bite of the carrot he had found, “oh rea—”

“You just bit through a finger!” Remus blurted with a grin.

“I think you’ll find that I just bit through a carrot actually.” Janus said, wrinkling his nose as he continued to chew, “And not a very good one too.”

“You say that everytime you eat a carrot.” Logan said dismissively, “You just don’t like carrots.”

“Ridiculous.” Janus spat before defiantly taking another bite.

“Well I would never eat a carrot,” Remus said, “Much too chewy for my liking!”

Logan frowned, “I feel like there must be some double meaning there…”

“Oh you flatter me Logan!” Remus before taking a bite of food.

“It’s Virgil, isn’t it?” Janus interrupted, swiftly changing the subject.

Logan choked, “Virgil?”

“Vir-gil.” Remus said, his mouth full of food, “Romam friemph?”

“Yes that Virgil.” Janus said. “It’s him, yes?”

Logan completely forgot about his promise to be stone faced and said, bewildered, “How did you..?”

Janus smirked and his eyes glinted with knowing, “Lucky guess.”

Logan paused, “I mean it’s simply because we had opposing ideas on a similar topic and I’d like to…”

“Amaze? Dazzle? Inspire? Enchant?” Janus supplied.

“Arouse.” Remus said with a firm nod.

“No.” Logan said as he tore off another chunk of his sandwich. He didn’t eat it immediately and instead just squished the bread in between his fingers as he thought, “I’d just… I think I’d just like him to… to notice me?”

“You should do it naked!” Remus supplied, quite unhelpfully Logan noted. “It’ll definitely catch his attention!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Janus said, “Logan, you should mess up your entire project, it’s so out of character Virgil will have to-”

“I’m not going to do either of those.” Logan said dismissively. “I’m just going to do my project like I planned.”

“Well fantastic.” Janus said, “there’s your solution.”

“Do nothing?”

Janus shrugged, “if you want to think about it like that sure. Do nothing.”

Logan sighed, “I hate doing nothing.”

~~~

Logan wrung his hands nervously as he flicked his eyes around the classroom. Virgil had yet to walk in.

“Logan! Okay you have our ears.” Thomas said, when most of the students were back from lunch.

“Oh I don’t want them,” Logan said dismissively as he stood up. “But I will take your attention temporarily.”

Virgil walked in, he slowly went over and took his seat in the back. Logan felt his eyes pressing into Logan’s back as he walked to the front of the class.

Logan turned towards the board, ensuring his project was projected on it, the first slide read, ‘Everything is Fine.’

“Hello class,” Logan started, “the argument that society is crumbling before our very eyes, and is one the verge of chaos and anarchy, although tempting to buy into, has very little historical evidence and is fueled by fear.”

Virgil from the back of the class leaned back in his chair and watched Logan carefully. Logan cleared his throat suddenly feeling very on the spot as Virgil stared at him.

Logan began to resight his project from memory, only faltering slightly when he saw Virgil shift in his seat or lean forward. He couldn’t explain why Virgil made his voice catch in his throat.

When he concluded his project, the class clapped as enthusiastically as a class of teenagers could on the second to last class on a Thursday. Virgil, Logan discouragingly noticed was not clapping and instead was tugging on his hoodie strings and looked over all quite distracted.

The next project started, Logan tried hard to concentrate, half heartedly scribbling down the points the presenter exaggerated. Virgil had seemed… less than impressed. Bored even. Logan’s heart sank and his notes were reduced to mindless scribbling.

With a loud clap of his hands Mr. Sanders yanked Logan from his melancholy thoughts as the bell rang. “Alright folks! No homework tonight, next class I’ll finally tell you the mystery second half of this project, so enjoy yourselves in the meantime!”

Logan stood up slowly, class was over already? He… hadn’t been paying attention. Logan looked down at his notes to see if they held any insight into the class and blinked at the gibberish that greeted him, ah. They were useless. He hoped whatever the next part of the project was about, his notes were not going to be important.

~~~

Virgil arrived late to Patton’s after school, he usually did. Patton’s house always smelled different, there always seemed to be something cooking.

“I’m here!” Virgil called as he stuck his head into the kitchen, something chocolatey was in the oven and something in a pan was steaming. Smoking. Burning. “Fuck,” Virgil mumbled as he pulled the pan off the heat and turned off the hob.

“You made it!” Patton squealed as he bounced into the room.

“Yeah and just in time too!” Virgil as he gestured to the burning… whatever it was supposed to be.

“Oh no! My caramel!” Patton lamented. “Oh well…”

“Snorlax is in the living room, I take it?”

Patton giggled, “He’s awake! ...I think.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Well if he’s awake I’m gonna have to lecture him on what to do when you smell smoke.”

“Okay well I’ll be right in, just wanna clean up this mess. And keep an eye on the brownies!” Patton winked, “don’t wanna end up in another sticky situation!”

Virgil snorted and wandered into the living room where Roman was sprawled across the couch. His homework was out on the coffee table, it looked untouched.

Virgil flopped down on top of Roman, earned himself an indignant squawk as Roman batted wildly at the air and jerked awake.

“You finally decide to turn up and you squish me at your first opportunity! The absolute gall!”

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say sleeping beauty.”

“I was not asleep!” Roman protested, “I was merely resting my eyes after a long and weary day’s work labouring in the toiling fields of the terrible prison of learning!”

“You had gym class.”

Roman readjusted himself so he wasn’t completely being squished and instead just his legs were trapped under Virgil. “Isn’t that what I said?”

“Not really.”

“Psht—” Roman dismissed with a wave, “Semantics all of it. So how was your day, clingy film?”

“What.”

“You know, like cling film? Because you're clinging to me and you… like films? Whatever, I just woke up, it's not my best.”

“So true.”

“You’re not supposed to agree with me!” Roman cried. “But really how was your day?”

Virgil sank further into the couch and mumbled, “It was… fine.”

Roman blinked, “Oh no, that was a pitiful excuse for acting. Would you like to try it again from the top with more, ‘you believing yourself’ this time?”

Virgil groaned and threw an arm over his eyes, “I fucked it.”

“Strong language there,” Roman commented. “But more believable. What exactly did you fuck?”

“Logan.”

Roman went quiet for a second in shock before bursting into laughter, he looked suddenly very awake.

Virgil immediately realized his mistake and tried to correct himself, but he just dissolved into a flustered mess. “Wait, that's not! I- you— don’t be an idiot!” Virgil said as he attempted to hide his face in his hand, “you know what I meant!”

“I’m not sure I do!” Roman admitted through tears of laughter.

“I meant I fucked up Logan!”

“You beat him up?” Roman asked incredulously, “I was under the apparent grievously incorrect impression that you liked the guy? What happened?”

“No I don’t! I mean I do but— Ugh words.” Virgil rubbed his eyes, “I mean I messed things up with him.”

“Yeah I’d think so! I don’t generally have very high options of people who attack me especially out of the blue with no reason!”

“Of course I had a reason! Wait no- I didn’t attack him!” Virgil said. “I made a fool of myself in front of him and now he definitely hates me and he’s never going to even look in my direction again!”

“Oh please The Great Ghastly, being a patron of the dramatics is my job!” Roman said.

“I’m not being dramatic,” Virgil grumbled. “He’s got to hate me.”

“Who hates you?” Patton asked curiously as he walked back into the room, thankfully not on fire.

“Logan,” Virgil said far more weakly than he wanted it to come out.

“Preposterous!” Roman said at the same time as Patton’s, “I’m sure that’s not true!”

“You didn’t beat him up so that’s a solid start.” Roman offered and Virgil rolled his eyes at the unhelpful comment.

“What happened?” Patton asked.

“He wouldn’t even look at me after I did my project, that’s how bad I screwed it. And his project was on the opposite side of the same topic! So! Just icing on top of the fucking cake.”

“Oh I’m making brownies, not a cake.” Patton said. “We can do that next time though!”

“Figure of speech Pat, but also Virgil, I think you might be exaggerating a little.” Roman said, “That really doesn’t sound that bad.”

“We could just ask him instead of moping!” Patton said as he bounced from foot to foot, “Roman, isn’t your brother friends with him?”

“No no no, you can’t do that!” Virgil said as firmly as he could manage. Patton was clearly trying to be helpful, but Virgil honestly couldn’t think of a worse idea.

Roman gasped, “why yes I can!” Roman attempted to push Virgil off him to reach his phone but Virgil was faster, snatching Roman’s phone and shoving it deep into his pocket.

“Hey no fair!” Roman said after he made a failed grab at his phone.

“Finders keepers,” Virgil said as he stuck out his tongue. “I’d prefer not to be any more mortally embarrassed than I already am.”

Patton pat-on Virgil’s shoulder sympathetically, “He probably doesn’t remember it, how many of the specifics of the other peoples projects can you remember?”

“Not… I can’t really—”

“Exactly!” Patton said happily.

“People are so very self absorbed.” Roman said as he drummed on Virgil’s legs. “So don’t worry about it!”

“Oh like you’re one to talk about being self absorbed,” Virgil snapped with no real force behind it.

Roman gasped, “my dear Virgil! Did I ever say I was an exception? I am quite aware I am very self absorbed.”

Virgil buried his face back in his hands, “Even so, if I have to talk to him ever again I might die.”

~~~

“And Virgil and Logan! Now you have your partners-”

Virgil jerked out of his passive listening state and tried to recall what Mr. Thomas had been saying before he’d lumped Logan’s name with his along with the word ‘partner’.

Mr. Thomas... he was talking about the second half of the project. It was an activity comparing… something. And apparently it was a partnered activity. With Logan as his partner. Shi—

Books slapped down hard on the desk beside him and Virgil looked up to see Logan standing over him ominously.

“Uh hi?” Virgil weakly supplied.

“Greetings.” Logan said shortly as he sat down next to Virgil. “How would you like to begin this?”

“Uh…” Virgil had never wished more that he’d been paying attention.

Logan kept talking like he didn’t even notice Virgil’s hesitation. “I think we should exchange numbers. Maybe work on this after school? It shouldn’t take too long, we could probably finish today.”

Virgil passed Logan his phone so Logan could put his number in it. “Uh yeah sounds good.”

Virgil really should have thought this through, anything through. But as Logan offered up idea after idea that Virgil really didn’t have the time to process or understand because he was talking to Logan of all people, Virgil frankly was just lucky he didn’t say anything too stupid. That was, he thought he was lucky until he realized he’d agreed to host Logan at his house.

So here Virgil was, anxiously awaiting Logan’s arrival to work on this project. Fortunately Virgil had finally managed to piece together what the project was about, comparing their projects and finding common ground.

If Virgil had been paying attention to the others' projects he’d probably notice a theme with classmates having alternating topics, just like his and Logan’s. Maybe then he would have been mentally prepared for a partnered project. Maybe then he would have realized he and Logan were paired together. Maybe then he would have been less shocked and not immediately agreed to Logan coming over to his house to do the project.

But no. No it could never be that simple.

“Okay Virgil.” Virgil mumbled, “You got this. What’s a little social interaction in between… acquaintances? Or something. Anyway! It’s like a whole five minutes early! And who arrives early to do school work anyway. He’ll probably be around in like ten minutes, maybe even fifteen if you’re lucky! So just be calm. He only hates you and thinks you're a slacker because you couldn’t even come up with any ideas to help him with the project and you didn’t even listen to the project descriptor and he’s gonna know and… and he’s friends with Remus. He’s gonna tell Remus everything and then Remus is gonna tell Roman and then Roman will hate me too and then Patton will have to pick a side and you don’t want to do that to him, but of course he’d pick them because you caused this mess in the first place and it’s all your fault and they’re all going to see how much of a failure—”

An abrupt knock at his door dragged Virgil from his increasingly depressing pep talk. His breath caught and Virgil suddenly felt like he was drowning. Through all his spinning thoughts and the beating drum of his heartbeat, Virgil heard the piercing doorbell doorbell ring which yanked Virgil from his stuck state and forced him to his feet.

“Virgil?”

He’d opened the door. He’d opened the door.

Logan was standing in the doorway watching him struggle to breath and why did he open the door? He wasn’t supposed to open the door yet. That was the wrong thing to do, this was all wrong and Logan— Logan was watching him dissolve.

Virgil gripped the door tightly with one hand, contemplating just slamming the door in Logan’s face, and with his other hand he pulled down at his collar which felt like it was strangling him. As much and as fast as he breathed his throat was still closing. There wasn’t enough air.

Logan’s hand was quickly on his shoulder, Virgil’s eyes snapped to Logan’s face, and he tugged more forcefully at his collar. Logan looked terrified.

Logan said something, Virgil struggled to focus on it.

Logan squeezed his shoulder and this time Virgil focused enough to make out the words, “can you hear me?

Virgil nodded and if he could speak he would have apologized for being such a mess.

“Are you having an allergic reaction?” Logan’s voice was shaky but relatively calm. He reached up with the hand that wasn't gripping Virgil’s shoulder and sweeped the hair out of his eyes. There was something in his hand, Logan only had his thumb free to move Virgil’s hair.

Virgil gasped another shallow breath and tried to remember Logan’s question.

Logan tried again, “Do you need an epipen?”

“No,” Virgil managed.

Virgil didn’t know if Logan seemed more or less relieved.

Virgil pulled back and went to push past Logan. “I need- just… air.”

Logan let Virgil pass him without protest. Virgil sat on the stairs and tried to walk himself through calming down.

Nothing else matters.

No one else is here.

Breathe.

Virgil’s fingers stretched across the concrete stairs, letting the rough divots and scratching surface ground him to the moment. He tapped a constant beat and struggled to breathe slowly in. Holding his breath was agony.

He exhaled heavily too soon and bit back tears as he started again. He just had to try again. Eventually he’d manage to get a steady hold on his breathing.

And he did. After what felt like an eternity his breathing was almost normal again.

Virgil sighed and ran a hand over his face. What a way to start the weekend.

“Are you alright?”

Virgil jumped out of his skin, he’d forgotten Logan was even there, although that was the point. There is a time when everyone must face the music, except the music Virgil was facing wasn’t death, he just had to tell his… project partner that he’d worked himself into a panic attack.

This was probably worse than death.

Virgil shakily stood up and turned around, “yeah, yeah I’m fine. Thanks.”

Logan was standing a little ways away from Virgil and fidgeting with an epipen. Upon seeing his trembling hands, Logan frowned, “Do you need medical attention?”

Virgil plunged his hands deep into his pockets and shook his head, “No, sorry for... freaking out.”

“There’s no need to apologize, but if somethings going on or you would prefer it, we can do this another time.”

Virgil shook his head again, he was not going to make Logan come to his house again later. He’d be fine.

Logan seemed skeptical but he didn’t say anything as they headed into the house.

When he’d been prepping, Virgil had made sure they had an assortment of things he could offer Logan, snacks, drinks, anything so Logan might think he was responsible. Not a single one came to mind as he led Logan into the living room on shaky legs and with panic on the forefront of his mind.

Uncomfortable silence fell over them as they both sat down and Virgil forced himself to fill it. “Your project was... neat.”

Logan looked up, “Ah… thank you. I will be interested to delve deeper into your thoughts. You certainly have an interesting way of perceiving things.”

Virgil wasn’t sure what that meant, but before he could process that, Logan started talking about how to accomplish the project, and Virgil, being as he still was a little shaken, just nodded along.

This was going great.

~~~

Logan didn’t know what was going on. He’d taken Virgil’s word that he was fine at first, but whatever it was, it didn’t seem to be going away. Virgil was visibly shaking and taking very deep deliberate breaths that sometimes would devolve back into more rapid ones for reasons that Logan couldn’t quite figure out. It didn’t seem to be anaphylactic shock so Logan hesitantly stuffed his epipen back into the front pocket of his bag while he tried to think of what else could be causing this distress.

Struggling to breathe... It could have been an asthma attack. Logan couldn’t remember him using an inhaler at any point, but maybe he didn’t have one on him.

Logan set aside his notebook and stretched. They were supposed to be having a conversation, but Virgil was falling asleep where he sat and they weren’t really getting anywhere.

“I think we should take a break,” Logan offered.

Virgil nodded tiredly, “I’m good to keep goin’ whenever.”

Logan stood up, surveying surrounding rooms quickly before heading in the direction of the kitchen, “do you have a kettle?”

Virgil sat up sharply, and Logan noticed with alarm that the speed of his breath began to pick up. “Yeah, yeah of course, let me—”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “I think I can handle using a kettle. Sit.”

Virgil curled in on himself with embarrassment and Logan noticed him trying to regulate his breath again.

While the kettle was boiling, as casually as he possibly could, Logan asked, “Do you have an inhaler?”

Virgil bolted straight up, “shit you- oh my god.”

Logan held his hands up, “It’s okay!” Logan’s attempt at soothing Virgil’s obvious distress did not seem to go well. Doing something wasn’t working out for him at all. Maybe he should have left it alone.

“No, no it’s not!” Virgil’s breath caught.

Logan flinched back in confusion as Virgil’s voice raised and his breathing became more erratic. “This always happens when we meddle.” Logan mumbled to himself, “why does trying to help have to be so confusing?”

Aside from the fact that helping and meddling are not the same things remotely, despite what Janus tried to convince him, Logan decided to ignore his own confused statements in favor of trying to make sure his new friend wasn’t dying, especially since it would probably be partly his fault.

Logan pulled out his phone, “Virgil? Breath. Please? In and out okay?”

“Shouldn’t I be telling you that?” Virgil asked incredulously as he ran a hand through his hair.

Virgil took a shuddering breath in and some of the fear in Logan’s chest dissipated. Logan had no idea what to do. Being friends with Remus he’d seen a fair few asthma attacks, but never without an inhaler, which now he was thinking about it was surprising seeing how unpredictable and unprepared Remus always seemed.

Logan shook his off track thoughts from his mind and let his thumb hovered over the 9 in preparation to call an ambulance.

“Do I need to call emergency services?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know?” Virgil said, and Logan quickly dialed in the numbers. His finger was just hovering over the call button. Virgil shook his head and tugged at his hair, “I don’t know! Is that something I should know? Why would I know that? Shouldn’t you know?”

The kettle began to whistle.

“What? No, I’m not the one struggling to breathe!”

“But you’re the one with asthma!”

“What!?” Logan paused and drew back, “I don’t— I’m fine!”

“No you’re not! You asked for an inhaler which means your windpipe’s gonna close up and you’re gonna die and I might as well have killed you!”

This… didn’t make sense. Logan didn’t put away his phone, just in case, but he turned it off as to not accidentally call anyone. “You... you are having an asthma attack aren’t you?” Logan asked, hoping to clarify the situation.

“No! You are? You asked me for an inhaler?” Virgil’s eyes were wet. He was gasping for air like he was drowning.

“I just thought you might like me to locate it, you’ve been struggling to breathe ever since I arrived and—”

Virgil started to laugh through his hyperventilation which really wasn’t a good choice. “Oh I— I really fucked this one up.”

Logan watched Virgil half laugh, half cry with a physical feeling of unease and a metaphorical growing pit in his stomach. The type of pit that would grow into a great tree of guilt which would become much harder to get rid of. He’d made a mistake.

And okay sure Logan wasn’t sure what exactly he’d done, but before he could start to make amends he needed to make sure Virgil didn’t pass out. And also maybe dealing with that kettle.

In: 1. 2. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1- Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1. 2. 3. 4. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Out: 1. 2. 3. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1. 2. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Start over.

In: 1. 2. 3. 4. Hold: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Out: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Repeat.

Virgil was curled up on the couch nursing a cup of tea. His hands were shaking, but he did his best to keep it from spilling.

Logan watched him awkwardly as vast walls of silence stretched in between them. ‘I’m sorry’, that’s all he needed to say, to lead in with at least, I’m sorry. Just he needed to say something. Anything!

“I’m sorry,” Virgil sighed, “I finally manage to talk to you and this is what happens. This is why I don’t talk to people.”

Logan was confused again. Logan wondered if the same ability of Virgil’s to confuse him was also making him tongue tied like at his presentation.

He couldn’t think of something to say fast enough as Virgil took a shaky breath in and continued. “Today has just been a kinda panicky day I guess, sorry for freaking out on you… again.”

“What was that?” As soon as the question slipped out of his mouth, Logan wanted to slap himself. What about ‘lead with I’m sorry’ was so confusing?

Virgil looked at him like it was obvious. “I-I was having a panic attack.”

“Oh apologies, I try not to make a habit of jumping to conclusions. Are you alright?”

Virgil paused, “am… am I alright?”

“I can’t imagine having a panic attack is very pleasant. It certainly doesn’t look pleasant.”

“Oh…” Virgil paused, and eventually said. “Yeah panic attacks aren’t… the nicest thing.”

Logan bit his lip, “It’s clear to me now that I overreacted, and made things worse for you.”

Virgil laughed airily, “Yeah just a little.”

“It seems our experiences with breathing problems are quite different.”

“Hm?”

“Well,” Logan waved his hand slightly, “I have personal experience with anaphylactic shock so that came to mind first for me, and although I’m not trying to speak for you, I'm not sure that would be your first thought.”

Virgil hummed, “No it wouldn’t… wow you thought I was dying twice. That must have been scary.”

“It was a little frightening, I’m glad you weren’t in life-threatening danger. You’re an interesting individual, and I’d hate to lose the opportunity to get to know you.”

Virgil looked shocked momentarily, but his expression quickly melted into a smile as he shook his head, “I don’t know what I was worried about.”

Before Logan could process what that might mean, Virgil said, “I think we should do this another day, the project that is. But if you wanna stick around, I wouldn’t mind your company, you don’t want to lose the opportunity to get to know me right?” Virgil sounded confident for the most part, but his confidence began to dwindle towards the end, doubt creeping into his mind, so Logan stepped in, quick to squash his fears.

“Well of course. Who am I to pass up an opportunity like that?”

#mangowrites #analogical #virgil sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #Logan sanders #Remus sanders #roman sanders #fluff #hurt/comfort #fanfic #Sanders sides #sanders side fic #Logan & Virgil #Logan/virgil #ts logan #ts virgil #Character thomas

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Note

Roceit with 11?

11 : “Just keep breathing. In and out. You’re doing great.”

Cw: descriptions of panic attack

~~~

Roman stared at the stage from backstage, he was out of costume, everyone else was gone. But Roman wasn’t. Tomorrow was the opening night of his junior year play. After years of being background characters and minor roles throughout middle school and earlier high school years, he had got a lead.

Maybe he wasn’t ready after all.

The stage was daunting, as he walked onto it slowly Roman’s heartbeat skyrocketed, all those seats, soon to be filled with audience members watching him perform… and fail. He’s never had a part like this, he was going to fail.

He couldn’t stand up to the pressure. He couldn’t do justice to the story.

Roman’s breath came in short gasps as his brain ran through every situation in which he failed.

He could trip, he could muddle up his words. Forget his lines. Destroy the play. His costume could rip, everyone would laugh. He could suddenly get sick. What if the producers didn’t believe him, he would never act again! What if he was already sick? And he’d already infected the entire cast? The show would be ruined and it was all because of him.

“Roman…”

What if he fumbled a prop? What if he dropped someone? Oh god what if he tripped and accidentally shoved someone off the stage? Everyone would hate him. The play would be ruined.

“Hey Roman. Look at me.”

Someone set a hand on his shoulder. Someone was here. Roman jerked his head up quickly, he couldn’t conceal his panic and his breathing was still coming in ragged bursts.

Janus, one of the other leads, was kneeling beside him, concern written all over his face. “Roman are you with me?”

Roman nodded quickly.

Janus was here. Janus might tell the producers, would they think he was unfit to perform? His understudy had deserved the lead anyway.

“Okay then breathe with me.”

Roman tried to take a shaky breath in, it caught and he sobbed.

Janus set Roman’s hand on Janus’s own chest, Roman felt the rise and fall of Janus’s breathing and attempted to follow his lead.

“Good just like that.”

“I can’t-”

“You are. Just keep breathing. In and out. You’re doing great.”

Roman scrunched his eyes closed, the lights were too bright, Janus was too distracting, the seats in the audience were too daunting.

“You’re okay. Just relax.” Janus was rubbing small circles on one of Roman’s knees. Roman focused on it. Every sensation, the pressure, the motion, the texture of his pants being rubbed against his leg. It stopped his mind from wandering.

Janus was murmuring something calming. He wasn’t listening.

After what felt like a long time, Roman opened his eyes. Janus was looking at him gently. Pity. Janus was never going to take him seriously again.

Roman scrambled to his feet. “S-Sorry about that. Lapse in… I’m fine.”

Janus got to his feet too, however much more calmly. “You don’t have to pretend. It’s okay if you’re not alright.”

“I didn’t—”

“I’m not judging you for it, if that's what you’re worried about,” Janus said. “But I do have quite a bit of experience with panic attacks, so lying to me about this isn’t going to be very effective.”

Roman nodded slowly, he was shaking, his throat felt more dry than it had ever been. He wanted to cry.

“So what can I do for you?”

“I don’t want to be on the stage anymore,” Roman murmured

“Okay,” Janus gently began to guide Roman off the stage, “let’s get you some water while we’re at it no?”

The next thing Roman knew he was sitting in the hallway, a small water bottle in his hands. Roman sighed and leant his head against Janus’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Roman said.

“It was no problem. Are you feeling alright?”

“Better… just some pre-show jitters.”

“This is a bit more aggressive than some pre-show jitters,” Janus said as he rubbed Roman’s back. “You’re a good actor and improviser Roman. And an excellent storyteller. You’ll be okay, even if you mess up.”

Roman smiled, “you flatter me.”

“Only because you should be flattered.” Janus said softly.

#mangowrites #ts roman #ts janus #ts roceit #rociet #roceit #roman sanders #Janus sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides #ts fanfic #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fan fiction #sanders sides fanfiction

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Note

Ooooh! 23: "You need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer." with Logan and Remus please?

“And over here—” Remus said, vibrating as he tugged Logan from place to place in the imagination, not giving Logan time to absorb the information he was being shown.

“Wait Remus,” Logan said as he tried to tug his hand out of Remus’s, “I can’t take notes when you’re—”

Remus let go of Logan’s hand and ran ahead, “these are where all the creatures that I can’t really control are, well not that I can ever really control any of them, but these ones just kinda hang around destroying stuff!”

“Fascinating.” Logan said as he watched a giant centipede wriggle up a tree, then turn to Logan and bear its teeth. “And you made every one?” He asked as he pulled out a notebook and began to scribble notes in it.

“Sure did! Every detail even down to their sexy times!”

Logan stepped forward to get a better look at the centipede, as he did Logan felt something jagged stab through his torso. Logan’s notebook tumbled to the ground. His breath came in shallow as he put a hand to his stomach, he felt something sharp protruding from his stomach and his hand was immediately damp.

“Remus,” Logan croaked out. “Remus. Remus!” Logan’s head spun as he felt the blood drip in between his fingers.

“Yeah Dick-tionary?” Remus called from further in, “You need something?”

The edges of Logan’s vision were crackling with static, “Help.”

Remus was immediately at Logan’s side as his legs gave out. “Logan? Hey hey, it’s just a stab wound! And I killed the thing too! No more danger! Don’t get all pass-y out-y on me.”

“I- Remus I can’t vanish it!”

“Well of course you can’t just vanish it! We’re in the imagination, everything and anything is real.” Remus said as he picked Logan up.

“Sink out! Get me out of here! I can’t-!” The pain was radiating through his body, Logan couldn’t think. His eyes couldn’t stay open, everything felt too heavy.

“I can’t just sink out! That’s not how it works!” Remus glanced down at Logan and paused, “hey no you need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer.”

“I’m tired…” Logan whimpered. If he was in his right mind he would have thought it undignified.

“Yeah and you need to keep your pretty little eyes open, I don’t know what’ll happen if you pass out like this.”

Logan tried to force his eyes open, but his eyelids didn’t move.

“If you close your eyes, I’m going to rip your eyelids off!” Remus threatened.

“Empty… threat…” Logan mumbled as he let his eyes drift closed.

#mangowrites #logan sanders #ts logan #remus sanders #ts remus #intrulogical #ts intrulogical #sanders sides #sander sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #injuries #ambiguous ending #blood

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

Empty Tombs Are Make Believe

Read On AO3

Summary: Patton has to leave on a business trip, leaving his son, who’s fallen ill, under the care of his uncle. Everything will be fine! What could go wrong in a week?

Ship(s): Familial Moxiety

Tags: Major character death, angst, illness

A/N: This was based on a comment by Sighing Inside that I got in my fic While You Were Away, about a more angsty interpretation of the summary, so I wrote it!

~~~

Patton kissed Virgil’s forehead, the warmth radiating off it was a bit uncomfortable, and Patton frowned.

“Alright honey,” Patton said as he drew back. “Uncle Roman’s downstairs, so if you need anything...”

“I’m sixteen Dad,” Virgil said, “I’m not a kid, I can take care of myself.”

“I can’t imagine you’ve forgotten you’re sick.” Patton said. “There’s nothing wrong with needing help and your uncle has been dying for some quality bonding time, so humor him.”

“Fine I-” Virgil turned into his blankets and coughed a couple of times before sitting back up and wrinkling his nose, “Ow.”

Patton hummed sympathetically as he ran a hand through his son’s hair, “I wish I could stay.”

“You’ve got work-” Virgil winced as his voice cracked and cleared his throat. “I’m fine, and you’ve got this business trip or whatever. Anyway I’ll have my hands full with Sir Dance-alot.”

“Hey!” Roman said as he walked up behind Patton, “was that a knights of Camelot pun? Wow, your dad and I are really doing a number on your sense of humor.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Virgil grumbled, “I’m delirious, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Look pretty lucid to me!” Roman smiled at Patton, “I’ve got this, no need to worry, and anyway we’re gonna call you every k-night!”

“Mine was better,” Virgil called.

Roman rolled his eyes, “whatever you say Sir Ga-Whine!”

Patton laughed slightly as he looked at his family, they’d be okay. “Okay I’ll head out, bye Vee I love you!”

“Love ya too.”

As Roman walked down the stairs with Patton, Patton was rattling off every caring tip he could remember for taking care of a sick person, “And please check his fever, Virgil’s very stubborn he’d rather die than ask for help. And you know where the hospital is right? Oh what if-”

“Patton,” Roman said gently. “We grew up here, of course I know where the hospital is, and I’ll be sure to check his fever at least twice a day, more if he looks worse for wear, and I’ll keep him hydrated and make sure he eats. And if you forgot anything you can just tell me on one of those daily calls we’re going to have.”

Patton nodded slowly, “You’re right. Have a good time, see you in a week?”

“See you in a week, have fun in those boring conferences!”

Patton laughed as Roman basically pushed him out the door, “Okay bye.”

“Drive safe! Don’t miss your flight!”

~~~

Patton woke up at the crack of dawn to his alarm going off, he groaned as he slammed snooze on the alarm clock in his hotel room. How early? Oh right he has a flight to catch.

Patton smiled to himself as he dragged himself out of bed, motivated by the reminder that he’d get to see his family in person today for the first time in a week. Last night, when Roman and Virgil had called, they looked like they were getting along pretty well, they were cracking jokes at each other and it really looked like Roman had gotten through to him.

A week of only having each other for company will do wonders for a relationship, it will either make you hate each other’s guts, or grow to like each other a lot. Either way your bond will be stronger, and you’ll definitely have opinions about the other person.

Click, click, click.

Patton groaned as he tried to turn his phone on, of all the days for it to die. Oh well, he didn’t technically need it, he could rely on airport clocks and the kindness of strangers to make sure he was on time.

Nevertheless, Patton thought as he glanced at the clock on his bedside table, he should get moving, the more spare time the better.

~~~

Patton watched the city grow larger and larger as the plane tipped down for landing, only a few more hours and he’d be home. He searched the outskirts of the sea of tiny buildings in hopes to spot a needle in a haystack, to maybe catch a glimpse of home, to imagine where his family might be.

The trip through the airport was mind numbingly tedious, but after all the board meetings he went to over the past week, it almost felt manageable, like the conferences were just training for the wait to leave the airport.

When Patton finally broke out of the prison that was the airport on a Friday, he tracked down his car and took a breath, he was almost home.

The ride home was a bit boring, with only the local radio to distract his brain from the silence of his car and the anticipation of what was almost there. Patton wasn’t sure he’d been this homesick before. Whenever he’d traveled before it had always been with at least one other person, and he’d been… well lonely, he missed his son and his brother, and he couldn’t wait to listen to all their stories and have them tell inside jokes at each other that Patton didn’t understand and-

Patton turned the corner onto his street, grinning as he saw Roman’s car in the driveway.

He was home.

Patton skipped up to the door, leaving his bags in the car, and tried the handle, it swung open with ease and Patton poked his head inside.

“I’m home!” Patton chirped cheerfully.

Roman was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, and he flinched when Patton spoke.

“Roman?” Patton asked softly as he stepped inside. “Sorry was I too loud? Do you have a migraine?”

Roman’s body shook, and for a second Patton thought he was laughing, until the sound caught up with Roman and he sobbed.

Patton froze.

“Where have you been?” Roman whispered as he looked up from his hands. He was so quiet Patton wasn’t even sure he heard him right.

Patton swung the door shut and sent a cursory look up the stairs, this was certainly not what he had been expecting to come home to. “I’ve been away?” Patton said carefully as he walked forward, “Roman you know that, you’ve been looking after Virgil for me, remember?”

Roman flinched again and clamped a hand over his mouth as tears poured down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Roman said, his words muffled by his hand.

Patton sat down next to him on the couch and pressed a hand against Roman’s forehead, he hadn’t thought what Virgil had was contagious but- no Roman felt fine...

“It’s okay,” Patton said gently as he tried to take Roman’s hand off of his mouth. His fingernails were digging into his cheek, and Patton didn’t want him to draw blood. He managed to wrangle Roman’s hands in his and Patton put them on his lap.

Roman looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn’t slept all week despite Patton knowing he slept at least two nights ago. Tears stained his cheeks.

Before Patton had a chance to speak, Roman offered a string of choked up apologies before saying, “If I had just been a little quicker, if I had noticed sooner, I should have been more alert, more awake... god Patton I’m so sorry. And I tried to call but…”

“My phone died and then I was on a plane, it wasn’t your fault,” Patton said. “What’s going on?” All lightheartedness that might have been present in his tone before was gone.

“I took him to the hospital.” Roman said, a glazed look going over his eyes. “Maybe I should have called an ambulance, I just- he’d been fine? But-”

Patton’s heart was in his stomach, he felt sick. “Where’s Virgil?”

No sound managed to make its way out of Roman’s mouth as he said, “He’s gone.”

There was silence, an ear shattering minute of silence.

Then Patton laughed, “oh I get it, this is a prank!”

“Patton-”

Patton stood up and walked towards the stairs, “This is a really sucky thing to do to a guy ya know? Right off jet lag too! I mean I’m glad you and Virge are getting along and can plan this type of thing but oh he’s gonna be grounded!”

“Patton please-”

Patton jogged up the stairs, not registering the weirdness of all the lights being off, and walked towards Virgil’s door, “Virge!” He said as he opened the door, “You got me! I-”

The room was dark and empty. The bed looked like it had been left in a rush, and there were a few half full glasses of water on the bedside table.

“Virgil?”

“He’s not here,” Roman said hoarsely.

Patton spun around, his smile felt forced, “Did he go over to one of his friends then?”

“He-” Roman faltered and looked down at the ground, “fuck… saying it makes it feel so real. He’s... dead.”

“No, he can’t be. We talked last night, he was fine,” Patton said firmly.

“I took him to the hospital,” Roman started, and Patton scrunched his eyes closed. “It was like two in the morning, he’d woken up so much worse.”

“No, he was doing fine, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I thought he’d be okay, he’s sixteen and just in the hospital for being sick, it’s not like he’s gonna die. I should have taken it more seriously.”

“No.”

“He was only there for half an hour before—”

“Stop it!” Patton cried.

Roman fell quiet and brought one of his shaking hands up to cover his mouth.

“He’s… no, no it’s not true.”

“I’m sorry.” Roman whispered.

“Get out.” Patton said sharply.

“What?”

“Get out of my house, if you’re just going to lie to me-”

“I’ll go-” Roman said shakily, “-but I can’t leave you alone like this.”

“Then call someone!” Patton said, his voice on the edge of yelling. “Unless you’re still bad at doing that.”

“I’m sorry I tried-” Roman cut off his own protest and shook his head as he turned towards the stairs. “I love you.”

Patton didn’t say anything.

He looked around his son's room and hummed, he should clean it up, make it nice and clean and pretty for when Virgil got home. He started picking up the tissues that littered the floor. His hands faltered and started shaking when he spotted Virgil’s phone.

Virgil took that everywhere. He wouldn’t just leave it on the floor to be stepped on.

Patton’s hands curled around the phone and he sat against Virgil’s bed, staring at the blank screen.

Virgil wasn’t… he couldn’t be, it didn’t- but he wasn’t here, and his phone was, and that didn’t make any sense.

He felt numb.

Patton barely registered the knock at the door when it came.

Someone touched his knee softly.

“Virgil?” Patton asked, not having the will to look over at the person.

“No, it’s Janus.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for a while longer until Patton spoke up, “This is his phone, he never goes anywhere without it.”

Janus began to rub small circles on his knee.

It was a long time before anyone said anything else.

“They must have been so panicked, both of them. Virgil must have been terrified. And I-” Patton choked on the air. “And I wasn’t- I didn’t- I was probably sleeping.” Patton spat that last word with so much distaste.

“Patton.” Janus said gently.

“My Virgil- my baby, he was dying and I- I wasn’t there. I didn’t even know.”

“And that is not your fault.”

“But I didn’t make sure my phone was charging! I could have- and if I did-” Patton fell against Janus. “I don’t want this to be real, please wake me up, please this has to be a nightmare, please just tell me I overslept and missed my flight, please I can’t- I can’t do this.”

“I’m so very sorry Patton.” Janus said as he hugged Patton, “it’s real.”

Patton’s world shattered as he sobbed against Janus. His Virgil, in a blink of an eye, gone. Nothing—Nothing could ever be the same.

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

Saved From the Cold

Read on AO3

Summary: Virgil finds himself under the care of a mysterious person after he turned up on their doorstep in the middle of a blizzard, but are they to be trusted?

Ship(s): Familial Anxceit

Tags: sickfic: coughing, vague descriptions of vomiting, fainting, hurt/comfort, light angst, swearing, nonbinary!Roman, nonbinary!Janus,

This was a two cakes prompt from the TSS Fanworks Collective, “Virgil in the woods during a snowstorm stumbles into witch Janus’s territory and subsequently gets adopted.

————————

Janus wasn’t sure what they were expecting to find when a bang came from their front door in the middle of a blizzard, but they certainly weren't expecting to see a small teenager curled up on their doorstep in the freezing cold. Their mind moved at a million thoughts per second as they scooped the boy into their arms.

He shivered in their grip, and Janus frowned as they noticed that his lips were tinged blue, not generally a good sign.

Janus entered and the wind slammed the door shut as they rushed the boy to the couch. As Janus was removing some of the child's frozen clothing, they tsked cuts and bruises that littered his body; he looked so very small. A sphinx cat paced the back of the couch, watching Janus carefully.

“Who is that?”

“I don’t know Patton.” Janus said as they made blankets dance their way from the cupboard across the room and wrap themselves around the boy. “I need to get him some dry clothes, keep an eye on him?”

“You’ll know if something’s wrong.” Patton said as he stretched and yawned.

“Oh I’m sure I will.” Janus mumbled, “Devil cat.”

Not five seconds after Janus left the room, the sound of coughing accompanied by the unearthly loud yowling of Patton greeted their ears. Janus sighed and grabbed one of their night shirts before heading back out to greet the music.

The boy was curled up on his side coughing his life out, Janus rushed over and placed a steady hand on his back, the boy flinched as Janus frowned at how hot his skin was considering he’d been lying out in the snow not moments ago.

“Breathe child.” Janus murmured, “I can not help you if you’re dead.”

After trying and failing to take a deep breath several times, the boy managed to swallow a few shallow wheezing breaths without dissolving into a coughing fit.

He looked up at Janus weakly, “where…?”

“Safe.” Janus said as they slipped the shirt over the boy, that seemed to be enough because he passed out again, a pained expression on his face.

“Patton, make sure Logan knows we’ve got company. He’ll be sleeping in my bed for now.”

Patton scampered out of the room and Janus began to wrap the teenager in the blankets in preparation to pick him up. “You’re going to be okay,” Janus murmured, hoping it might soothe some of the anxiety the boy was clearly feeling, “Nothing can harm you here.”

The bed looked like it was going to swallow the poor child when Janus finally got him tucked in. He was clearly trying to look as small as possible, curling in on himself tightly.

Patton purred as he lied down next to the sleeping body, “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Don’t you wake him up with your screeching,” Janus warned. “I do swear Patton there will be hell to pay.”

“I would never! I save that honor for you.”

Janus returned to one of the backrooms, there was still light in the day, and the boy seemed to be in need of medical assistance. They began to summon their healing books off the shelf. When they entered the room a pair of scissors began to harvest some pieces off their plants they kept in the house, but despite all the white noise of the scissors and books flying off the shelves… it was too quiet.

“Roman? Remus?” Janus called, “I know you’re here.”

A flurry of flapping wings greeted their ears and a small flock of several pigeons, a couple crows, and a single vulture sat at their feet. One of the crows dropped a small knife with blood dried on the blade on their floor and Janus’s nose wrinkled, “Remus what have I said about bringing your murder weapons into my home?”

“It’s not a murder weapon! I just found it like that!”

“Where in a man’s back?” Janus mumbled, “Nevertheless, I see you found yourself a new friend.”

Laughter filled the air, “Yes!” Remus said as the vulture preened, “I’ve been looking for one for ages!”

“And where did you find this one?”

“Over a corpse!”

“And might that be the same place you found the knife?” Janus waved off their own comment, and glanced around for any flicker of a hummingbird like pixie, “Where’s Roman? They’re always around this time of night.”

Remus shrugged, “I’m not their babysitter.”

Janus squinted, “Uh-huh… they’re spying on our guest as we speak aren’t they?”

The flock of birds that made up Remus cackled and split into several groups as he flew in various directions out the windows, and into the house. Janus huffed, “Remus! If either of you disturb him, I swear I’ll turn your new vulture into a feather duster!”

Then Remus was gone, Janus mumbled an enchantment under their breath and the book's pages all began to turn quickly to various spells and potions that would be useful.

“Logan,” Janus called to the mirror in the corner of the room, “how do I get a temperature down? Our guest’s is far too high.”

“Oh please be more general.” A voice called as the mirror rippled to life, “It’s not like I have a literal ten floor library or anything.”

“How else can I specify! He’s sick!” Janus said as turned to Logan, the person in the mirror rolled his eyes at them over his round spectacles.

Logan sighed heavily, “Yes I know, or have you forgotten that I can literally see him?”

“Patton’s still there right? I don’t want him to wake up alone.”

“Yes, yes, he is.”

Janus relaxed a bit, “Good, so how exactly do you want me to be more specific?”

“Well, do you want a spell, a natural remedy, a potion? What are his other symptoms? Do you just want me to tell you to put a damp cloth on his head? Really Janus, have some creativity.”

“Well he’s coughing up his lungs.”

“Narrows it down, next.”

“I think a spell would be easiest for now.”

“Narrows it down, next.”

“He’s fainted at least twice.”

“Narrows it down, next.”

“He’s injured,” Janus said.

“Badly?”

“I’m not sure.”

Logan hummed, “Alright, anything like else?”

“I believe he might have had hyperthermia when he arrived?”

“Oh well why didn’t you say that first!” Logan said and Janus watched as his wings made of layers of paper fluttered and he flew up to one of the higher shelves.

Logan grabbed a large book before quickly coming back down and shoving it through the mirror. Logan’s hand got too close to the mirror boundary and he jerked it back, dropping the book on Janus’s side of the mirror. He swore in a language Janus only recognized from Logan occasionally speaking it, and shoved his smoking fingers in his mouth.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m… it’s fine. Nothing comes without risk. Like the spell in fact, page four hundred twenty three.”

“Risk?” Janus asked as they flipped to the page.

“Yes, well if done correctly, the spell will mitigate any effects of the hyperthermia and, for twenty-four hours, it will hold back all his symptoms, although any exhaustion or dizziness will remain, so he will have to stay in bed rest. But the time will potentially help you find a more permanent solution, say a more time consuming potion. After the spell ends, he will either be in better condition or the same condition from when the spell was cast.”

“And if it isn’t done correctly?”

Logan rubbed the back of his neck with his uninjured hand, “If it is performed incorrectly… he will get worse. Potentially a lot worse, however if it is successful it will give you twenty-four hours of calm and possibly improve his condition after that time.”

Janus nodded as they stood up, “and that gives me time to at least explain where he is and ask him some questions. Thank you Logan.”

They went into their bedroom where the child was curled up. Janus ran a hand through their hair and took a deep breath as they began to prepare the spell.

——

Virgil woke up in an unfamiliar room and bolted upright, his body protested at the sudden movement, black dots began to close in around the edges of his vision, his head spun and Virgil held his head in his hand. He was alone. Alone. Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten to be by himself, however he also couldn’t remember why or how he got here, good things and bad things.

The room was cool and dark, and as Virgil shifted his legs over the side of the bed, a cat, that had been curled up on his legs, sat up and seemed to study Virgil, before hopping off the bed and sitting on the floor.

Anxiety was brewing in Virgil’s stomach, making it churn and flip uncomfortably. This was wrong. Something was wrong. A weak coughing fit forced its way up Virgil’s throat and the cat started to meow loudly.

“I-I’m sorry! Please-” Virgil sputtered in between coughs, apologizing to a cat, what was he doing.

Surprisingly the cat instantly stopped, and instead turned and left the room.

Virgil tried to follow it, but as he went to stand was instantly brought to his knees as dizziness and nausea crashed into him like waves over a rocky shore. His breath was shaky as he slapped a hand over his mouth, it would only be worse if he threw up, whatever was coming would be magnified and he just needed to-

The door opened and light streamed into the room.

Virgil threw up.

It was horrible, the burning sensation, but what was worse was he knew someone was there, and he’d not be so lucky to have his insufficiency overlooked.

A hand was on his back and Virgil flinched, “Please don’t be mad.” Virgil whispered when his stomach finally settled.

“I’m not mad. It’ll be easy to clean.”

Virgil stiffened right, he had to clean it up. He tried to stand up but immediately stumbled over himself and was caught by the elbows by the person, “Where are you going?” They asked, bemused.

“Clean-” Virgil managed.

“Oh, yes we can get you clean…” they trailed off. “What can I call you?”

Virgil complied immediately as he said, “Virgil.”

“Well I’m Janus.”

Virgil was pushed back down onto the bed by the person, Janus, who he’d yet to look up at.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes, please make yourself comfortable in the meantime.”

The door closed and Virgil got to his feet again ignoring the dizziness, he didn’t want to know what this Janus person was bringing back in a couple of minutes.

Virgil glanced at the door before heading over to the windows, they were definitely big enough for him to climb out of. He tried to push open the window, which brought him to his knees as it left him light headed and dizzy.

“They’re not going to hurt you.” A new voice said.

“How the hell would you know?” He said forcefully, and immediately regretted it as it sent him into another coughing fit, and any hope of standing up was lost. Instead Virgil just curled up against the side of the bed and buried his head in his knees.

Virgil barely noticed the door opening.

“Child, what are you doing on the floor?” Janus asked gently.

“I- um-”

“No matter, here.”

A cool glass was placed in his hands, and as Virgil took it, he finally looked up at his captor.

Virgil screamed.

Glass shattered on the floor.

Virgil tried to scramble away but he was cornered against the bed. This- Janus, they had to be some kind of fae, half of their skin was scales and Virgil had just willingly given up his name! He was such an idiot, he was going to be puppet around and used as entertainment and-

Janus immediately backed up, giving Virgil distance as they held up their hands, “Hey hey hey, it’s okay. I promise I mean you no harm, although that glass might.”

Virgil looked down, in his panic he’d set his hand down on the broken glass, there was blood dripping from some of the edges; it was mixing with the water. He felt faint.

“Oh god I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to break it,” Virgil babbled as he started to pick up the shards with his hands, “I��ll clean it up, I-”

“What are you doing? Stop!”

Virgil shrank in on himself and stared at the ground as his hand instinctively curled around the shards.

“No no no, put it down.” Janus said much more calmly as they gently peeled back Virgil’s sliced up fingers, “I will clean it up, it is not your responsibility. You are a guest in my home and are unwell. Your only responsibility is to rest.”

“Why-Why are you doing this to me?”

Janus’s previously unfaltering expression faltered as their eyebrows pinched with concern, “Doing what to you sweetheart?”

“Helping me! People don’t just… do that.”

“Well I am, and as long as you're in need of help I will continue.”

“What do you want from me?” Virgil said he cradled his hand close to his chest.

“I want you to stay here until you’re properly healed. May I touch you?”

And then what? Was the only thought that ran through Virgil’s head as he nodded slowly.

Janus, making their intentions very clear in their movements, gently lifted him up and set him back on the bed. Virgil noticed the place on the floor where he’d thrown up was spotless now. That… it couldn’t be already? Did he imagine it?

Something cool brushed against his forehead and Janus hummed, “I’m going to get you more water, and something to clean your hand with. Fall asleep at will.”

Virgil didn’t mean to fall asleep, and he certainly didn’t do it because the fae gave him permission, but his body felt so heavy, like he hadn’t slept in years, and he just slipped into oblivion.

~~~

“He’s awfully sick, even with that spell you cast.”

Janus stiffened and they paused gathering up the bandages as the familiar voice of a certain pixie chirped in their ear. They didn’t want to be reminded of the implications of Virgil getting sicker.

“Yes I know Roman, I have eyes.”

“I bet he won’t make it through the week!” Remus chirped from the window sill, where his flock of possessed birds were sitting.

“Yes he will.”

“If he doesn't, can my vulture eat him?”

“Oh don’t be barbaric,” Roman chirped, “Janus would obviously use the body for a spell! Perhaps it might help break-”

“No one is dying!” Janus said sharply, “and if he did die, no one would be using his body. Have some decency, he is a child.”

Both of them sank in on themselves and looked a little ashamed.

Janus gathered the last of what they needed before standing and leaving the bathroom. Their bedroom was dark when they approached, Patton was sitting on their desk by a mirror and whispers were filling the room. Janus ignored Patton and Logan, and instead knelt by Virgil, he was fast asleep and Janus hoped cleaning the cuts on his hands wouldn’t wake him, but they couldn’t guarantee anything.

Janus tenderly took one of Virgil’s hands in theirs and began to gently take out any shards of glass embedded in his hand.

It took much longer than it would have if Janus had not been being so careful and gentle, but eventually Janus stood and looked over at Patton and Logan, “if you must talk, perhaps move it to a different room, one where we don’t have a sleeping guest in.”

Patton blinked as he leapt off the desk and hopped onto the bed, “Actually I think I’ll stay here.”

“Suit yourself, but let him sleep. And in that case, Logan, would you follow me to the kitchen? We need to talk about the spell.”

Janus occupied himself with soup as they talked to Logan. Not eating it, no they weren't remotely hungry, they concerned themself with making soup, it had been some time since a child had shown up on their doorstep but they were no stranger to the needs of the sick and injured.

Magic hummed around them as the kitchen came to life, everything knew its place in this.

~~~

When Virgil next woke up he felt warm, not feverishly warm, but just warm. He felt… oddly okay. If he was being held by a fae though that would make sense, they were probably using some sort of magic to get him in working order as soon as possible. Virgil looked around, there was a steaming bowl of soup on the bedside table along with a glass of water. The cat from earlier was curled up on his legs again.

Virgil pulled himself up into a sitting position carefully, trying not to disturb the cat, he noticed how his hands were bandaged and frowned, when did that happen?

The cat lifted its head up and walked over to nuzzle into Virgil’s arm.

“Hey,” Virgil murmured as he pet the cat, “I’m sorry I keep waking you up, that’s pretty rude of me huh?”

The cat paused and Virgil just laughed sadly, “Ugh, why am I talking to you? You can’t understand me and I can’t understand you. I’m probably going insane, I mean I can’t even remember how I got here in the first place. Your owner, the fae, do you know what they want with me?”

A wave of sudden overwhelming fear crashed into Virgil and tears began to roll down his cheeks without his permission. “and I feel okay, I feel okay now.” He whispered as he wiped at his eyes. “But I’m so scared? I’m so scared about what will happen when I’m okay again. I feel like at any moment I could have to go back to that place or the fae could stop being this kind and they just have so much power over me, they could make me do anything. I’m such an idiot.” Virgil muffled a sob into his hand.

“Oh you poor child.” The cat purred.

Wait.

Virgil jerked away from the cat, his vision was blurry from crying, but he could have sworn he just heard that cat speak. “Did you— can you— you can talk?”

“Yes of course I can! But you poor thing, all that fear and stress, you really are safe here, no one will hurt you.”

“How do I- no, you’re just lying to me, you’re trying to get in my head, lower my defences, I’m smarter than that.”

The cat looked a little dejected, and there was something else too… pity? Was a cat pitying him?

“I’m not,” the cat said slowly, “but I’m not going to tell Janus what you told me either, I won’t disclose your thoughts without your permission.”

Virgil hated how the cat was studying him, trying to measure his reaction. Adapting. Getting into his head. Under his skin. Breaking him down. Making him weak.

He hated that he’d talked to it, that must have been what the fae wanted.

There was a soft knock at the door and Virgil flinched, his head jerked back and hit the bed’s backboard hard as he was yanked from his thoughts. The door swung open slowly, whoever was knocking clearly heard him.

Janus peaked their head around the corner and Virgil suppressed his instincts to shrink away, showing fear wasn’t going to help.

“You’re awake,” Janus said as they walked in and set a glass of water on the nightstand with the soup, “I hope Patton was decent company?”

Virigl’s fear manifested into anger, “What the hell do you want with me? You’re not going to trick me with your—” Virgil gestured at Patton, “—mind tricks! I know cats can’t talk! Whatever you want, you can just force me to tell you.”

“Kiddo I’m-”

“Not the time.” Janus said, shutting Patton down, “Virgil, I can’t make you do anything.”

Virgil suppressed a flinch as the fae said his name, and laughed like he wasn’t afraid, “Yeah right. Fae don’t give with nothing to take. So just tell me, what are you gonna do? Parade me around for your friends? Make me torture myself for your own amusement? I deserve to know, it’s not like I’ll be able to stop you, and whatever you plan for me I guarantee I’ve already had worse, you're not going to break me with your little games.”

“I’m not a fae,” Janus said firmly. “And I would never hurt you or make you hurt yourself.”

“Yeah, for whatever reason that’s what you want me to think but it’s pretty fucking obvious that you are a fae!”

“Okay-” Janus said, “-what do you know about fae?”

Virgil was taken aback by the question, “Dunno.” He said as he watched his captor’s expression carefully, “About as much as anyone else.”

“Right. What do you know about fae in regards to the truth?”

“You can’t lie.”

Janus sighed, “Yes fae can’t lie. So, I will say this again. I am not a fae.”

“No you’re… but that’s not true. You’re warping the truth! I know that’s possible! You have magic and your scales-”

“I’m a witch darling.” Janus said gently, “Everything I know about magic I learnt, and my scales were... inherited, so to speak.”

Virgil didn’t ask what that last comment around their scales meant and just stayed quiet considering what Janus had just told him.

Janus’s gaze softened, “You’re more lucid, how are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Virgil said shortly, glad it wasn’t a lie, he really did feel okay.

“That’s good, I was worried the spell went wrong.”

Spell? Virgil managed to suppress any outward indications of his unease as he panicked, why did they cast a spell on me? When did they cast a spell on me?

“It’s going to wear off in about half a day.” Janus said as they crossed their arms and looked down at Virgil. Virgil felt even smaller than he was, like a kid who’d just been told off, trying to disappear under Janus’s careful and calculated watch, “it’s holding back your fever, but you are still sick so you’re going to stay here.”

Virgil wasn’t sure if he believed that the spell was just there to help, for all he knew it was keeping him weak, keeping him in bed.

Janus pointed to the bowl of soup on the nightstand, “you should eat something. I don't know what it’ll be like tomorrow, you might not be able to.”

What did that mean?

“What the hell does that mean?” Virgil snapped, “what are you doing to me tomorrow?”

“Nothing, I’m not doing anything to you, my spell’s just going to wear off and you’re going to be a little worse for wear again.”

Virgil shook his head, and made no move towards the soup, “If you're not a fae, and you really have no use for me, just let me go.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not! If you don’t want me to do anything for you just let me go!”

“You’re still sick,” Janus said gently, “I know it may not feel like it but you are, and I can’t in good conscience send you back out into the cold. Have I done something to make you uncomfortable? What’s making you worried?”

“I don’t know!” Virgil cried. “You won’t tell me what you want with me! And clearly you can lie! So I can’t trust what you say!”

“Okay, okay. Truthfully, I don’t want anything from you. You showed up at my doorstep on the brink of death and all I want is for you to recover. I promise, as long as you are under this roof you are under my protection and no harm will come to you in any way shape or form if I can prevent it. I only wish to see you safe and well.”

Virgil bit his nails as he watched Janus carefully.

“What do you need me to do?” Janus asked calmly.

“What?” Virgil said weakly.

“What can I do to make you feel more comfortable? Would you like me to leave? Do you want a bath? Would you like a hug? Anything I can provide, I will.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I know.” Janus said, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you.”

Virgil considered his options, things couldn’t get much worse than this could they? If he trusted them this once, it wouldn’t… it couldn’t hurt could it?

“Can— I mean I don’t care, and I still don’t like you so it’s whatever. But um… can I have a hug?” Virgil asked.

“Of course,” Janus said as they sat down next to Virgil, “tell me if at any point you get uncomfortable, or would like something else okay?”

Virgil nodded and immediately was surrounded by warmth. Radiating warmth up and down all around him. Without meaning to, Virgil sank into the hug, and for the first time in a very long time he felt safe, despite the lingering doubts that clung to the back of his mind.

348 notes · View notes

thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

Tradition

Read on AO3

Summary: Roman and Remus catch up with their uncles and hear a new story about their dads childhood.

Series: Remus, Roman and Chaos from Childhood

Ship(s): Logicality, queerplatonic Anxceit, Creativitwins

A/N: A huge thank you to the people in the TSS Fanworks Collective discord for brainstorming this AU with me and my two awesome betas for this fic @itsadastraperaspera and @extraordinarycorn (same names on both AO3 and tumblr!)

Translation: bisabuela- great grandmother

~~~

“Boys! Dinner!”

“Coming!” Roman yelled back to his dad before promptly kicking the headphones off of Remus’s ears.

“Oi!” Remus said as he swat at Roman. “Watch where you put your feet!”

“Parde called!” Roman said as he dodged Remus before smiling innocently at him. “I was just making sure you knew!”

Remus rolled his eyes and chucked his headphones on the bed. “Whatever, I would have come regardless.”

“Was that… gratitude?” Roman gasped, “Oh my- I thought I’d never live to see the day.”

Remus faked a gag as he subtly inched in front of Roman on their way towards the stairs. “I wouldn't get used to it. Race you!”

Remus sprinted down the stairs, taking them two at a time, leaving Roman to flounder behind him.

“No fair!” Roman cried, “you had a head start!”

Roman sprinted down the stairs after Remus, not sparing a second glance to the dozens of photos that covered the walls. There were old ones, from when the twins were babies, and older ones still from major events in their dads' lives, their wedding, college graduation, family reunions, birthdays; some of the pictures held faces Roman had never met, but many of them were filled with familiar faces. The ones Roman liked the most were the ones he could remember.

A picture of his bisabuela’s ninetieth birthday. He remembered Dad behind the camera trying to make sure everyone was in frame. He could still practically feel Papa’s hand squeezing his shoulder as Roman grinned towards the camera. Roman had lost two teeth the day before, his smile was wide and the holes were in full display.

A picture of Uncle Janus helping him pick out what to wear to his first piano recital— Roman had been so nervous he didn’t even register Papa with the camera until the shutter clicked.

A picture of Roman and Remus both covered in mud as they proudly presented the frogs they’d caught to the camera. Their dad, who’d helped them catch them, was smiling along with his sons, pride and exhaustion in his eyes. Roman had named his frog, Frog. Names have never been his strong suit.

A picture of Uncle Virgil singing karaoke at a small restaurant he’d taken Roman and Remus to when he was babysitting them a few years ago. They’d dared him to, and Virgil had been reluctant, but thinking back on it Roman thought he probably only did that so he could barter a deal of what they would do if he did it, because when Virgil got up there he shone as though he'd been waiting to get up there all night. Roman remembered the exact note when his attitude changed from amusement to awe.

A picture of Roman and Remus working with wood for the first time, they’d built a rickety bird house. Remus almost cut his finger off, and they never put it up because it looked too dangerous for the birds, but it had been so much fun. That was truly the gateway project to what they could do now with some wood, saws, and an afternoon.

Roman finished running down the stairs and quickly rounded the corner to the dining room and immediately grinned at who he saw, “You’re back!”

Janus and Virgil looked over from where they were being squeezed half to death by Remus. Janus waved, “Roman! Please tell me it has actually just been two weeks since we last saw you, he’s acting like we died.”

Roman snorted and ran over to join the hug. “Yeah, but two weeks is a long time!”

“Especially without our favorite uncles!” Remus added.

Janus ruffled Remus’s hair playfully. “We’re not even your uncles!”

“Yes you are!” The twins chorused.

Virgil looked at Janus, amused. “I mean come on Jan, at this point you might as well give in for good—or are you going to try and deny it for another sixteen years?”

Janus sighed dramatically and, not for the first time, said, “Alright fine, I give in! I’m your uncle.”

The twins cheered, like they did everytime Janus begrudgingly accepted he was in fact, their uncle. Janus and Virgil might not be biologically related to them, but Roman and Remus had quite literally known them their entire lives and they were just as family as their dads. And of course Janus knew that. Despite the jokes, if anyone outside of the family questioned his or anyone else’s place in the family, well Janus wasn’t exactly one for passive action.

“Did Janus decide he wasn’t your uncle again?” Patton asked as he walked into the kitchen area of the dining room and began to take pots off the stove.

“As is tradition!” Roman said.

“Well if you’re such a traditionalist, go wash up and set the table!” Remus snorted as Roman groaned, but Patton just pointed a spoon at Remus. “What are you laughing at?" he admonished. "Go wash your hands, we have guests, you’re helping.”

“They don’t count as guests,” Remus groaned as he followed Roman to the sink. “They’re family!”

“Well family helps family and I’m sure you're hungry, it’ll go faster with two of you!”

Pops was right, he always was about this type of thing, right as they finished setting the table the front door swung open and their Dad stepped in. He didn’t look into the kitchen and just called, “I’m home!”

“Come over here!” Patton called, “I have a surprise!”

“Is it whatever that wonderful smell is because if so-” Logan walked into the kitchen and his gaze immediately softened upon seeing Virgil and Janus, “-oh. Welcome home.”

“You’re such a softy L, get over here,” Virgil said as he extended an arm for a hug.

“And I thought I missed them!” Remus chirped.

Roman jabbed Remus with his elbow, “Shut it! They’re having a moment!”

Logan laughed slightly and pulled back from the hug. “How did it go?” He asked the pair.

“As well as it could have,” Janus responded. “And of course we haven’t had a chance to head home yet, Patton was kind enough to pick us up, so that’s why our luggage is in your living room.”

Roman, Remus, and Logan all peeked into the room curiously, “So it is,” Logan said. “Well, I’m sure we can drive you home when all is said and done.”

“If the house isn’t destroyed,” Virgil mumbled as Patton walked over with several pans of food.

“Oh I’m sure you turned the stove off!” Patton said, smiling at Virgil. “We’d have heard if it went up in flames!”

“More of a… figurative destroyed, but thanks Pat.”

“What does that-” Patton cut himself off when a very loud stomach grumble made its way through the room. Everyone looked over at the twins who were pointing at each other.

“It was Remus!”

“You liar! It was you!”

“Kids!” Logan said as he gestured towards the table. “Does it matter? Sit down, I think it’s time to eat.”

No one even thought about protesting. Roman shuffled into the bench and sat down as Patton placed a plate of food in front of him. “Thanks Padre.”

Remus, who had followed him onto the bench, sat down and smiled when Patton handed him his food. “Thank you Pops!”

Once everyone got their food and started eating, Janus began to recount a weird experience they had on the flight home.

“And then this white suburban mom asked if we were boyfriends— which is a completely reasonable question, don’t get me wrong, but when we said no she got really annoyed at us which, first off, is ridiculous because we don’t owe you anything, and second, you’re sitting in front of us on a plane with your noisy kid, so if anything you owe us something. And then she said, ‘Well if you aren’t brothers and you aren’t boyfriends, what are you?’ Like she completely forgot friends were a thing?”

“I mean, be kind, Janus,” Virgil said. “She was just confused because she’s never had any friends.”

Laugher sprung up from various points around the table, and Patton shook his head with a smile. “Vee, don't be mean! Give her the benefit of the doubt maybe she just forgot! Slip of the mind, she was probably focusing on her kid!”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, “Uh-huh, then why ask in the first place? It’s not like we wanted to answer prying questions about our relationship. Especially not on a plane.”

Virgil’s eyes lit up. “How much do you think her brain would have exploded if I had told her about queerplatonic relationships?”

“Oh, fully,” Janus said immediately. “If one can’t picture a relationship besides boyfriends and brothers, QPRs are brain surgery.”

“Odd metaphor and phrasing,” Logan said, “but I suppose it was an odd situation. What did you say?”

“We, luckily, didn’t have to say anything,” Virgil said. “A flight attendant came round asking her to put on her seatbelt and we were rescued by take off.”

“So where did you go?” Remus asked, his mouth half full of food, “I mean you still haven’t told us about your actual trip!”

“Oh-” Janus said as Virgil glanced at him, “Well, we went to visit some friends of ours. We didn’t do much.”

“Bo~ring!”

“Yeah you leave for two weeks and you don’t do anything?” Roman huffed. “I missed you for two whole weeks and you weren’t even out there living high and mighty! Ridiculous.”

Before Virgil or Janus could respond, Logan cut in gently, “Oh any note, Patton, how’s your new project coming along?”

“Project?” Virgil asked.

Patton’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I’ve been writing some music again! I remember why we liked it so much, it’s very cathartic.”

“I’m sure it's much better than ours were back in the day,” Janus said with a smile.

“Oh come on Janus, give us some credit,” Virgil said. “I mean we had some pretty killer songs.”

All four of the adults around the table laughed.

“Oh my god, I’d almost forgotten about that!” Patton said.

“Well I hadn’t!” Logan said, and the table burst into laughter again.

Roman looked over at Remus, who looked just as confused as he did.

Virgil glanced over at the twins and smiled. “Oh, I think it might be storytime, guys.”

Logan laughed, “Probably, but I shouldn’t tell it because well, you know.”

Roman and Remus were vibrating with excitement by the time they decided Virgil would tell the story.

“Okay so-”

“Wait! You gotta do the thing!”

“Tradition~!” Roman sang.

Virgil grinned, “Right.” He cleared his throat before bringing his hands up like a curtain and announcing, “Storytime!”

“So…” Virgil started, “We were working out a new song of ours in Patton’s garage.”

“I’m thinking instead we could go for a minor 7th here,” Virgil said as he played the chord.

“Minor 7th? Wow, getting fancy Vee,” Janus said, smiling and showing off the braces that were attempting to shackle his teeth into place.

“Yeah, I thought I’d bring out the big guns now, show you what I’m made of? The past three years have actually just been an elaborate scheme to lower your expectations of me.”

Logan snorted, “Don’t give Janus any ideas. You know he’d commit to that.”

Patton walked back into the garage with four water bottles, “Okay! Water for you, water for you, water for you,” Patton said, tossing the bottles at his friends, “and water for me!”

Logan fumbled the bottle and it rolled under a shelf. “Whatever,” he mumbled, picking up his drumsticks. “Everyone ready?”

Patton nodded as he wiped his mouth, picked up his bass guitar, and positioned himself by the microphone. “Yep!”

Janus strummed his guitar. “Seems like it.”

“I’m set,” Virgil said as he put down his half empty water bottle and nodded at Logan. “What song are we playing?”

“Pick up again at Killer?” Patton suggested.

“Sounds good to me. Count us in L?”

Logan nodded, “1-2- and a 1-2-3-”

The garage burst to life.

After an intro which went on far too long, Patton stepped a little closer to the mic…

“And I just- I completely forgot the lyrics of the song!” Virgil obviously lied, and the twins groaned. “I’ll just skip ahead. So at the climax of the song, everything was building, and as Patton sang the final lyric to top out the climax…”

“And you're just my killer!” Patton sang.

Logan’s head bobbed and collided with the drum set in a cacophony of random sounds.

Virgil looked over—that wasn’t a part of the song— to see Logan face first on the drums, unconscious.

“Logan?” Virgil stopped playing and rushed over to his friend. “Holy shit, did he just fucking die?”

Janus and Patton both now noticed what was going on. Patton gasped and he slapped a hand over his mouth, “Oh my god! Should I go see if an adult is home? Is he breathing? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

As Virgil and Patton freaked out, Janus took it upon himself to check Logan for a pulse. “Hey fuckers!” Janus said. “He’s alive. He just fainted or something.”

Virgil made a face, “Oh.”

Janus raised an eyebrow, “Don’t look so disappointed, Virgil.”

Just then Logan groaned as he began to regain consciousness. “Ugh- what... happened?”

“You fainted,” Janus said. “Uh, we should probably call your dad, right? Like so he can make sure you're not actually dying.”

“Mm- probably dehydrated, but yeah.” Logan rubbed his head, “I’m gonna have a killer headache.”

“I thought you were dead!” Patton said as he flung himself at a still very disoriented Logan. “You’re never allowed to do that ever again!”

“I’m not sure that I have much control-”

Virgil shoved his water bottle at Logan as Patton pulled away from the hug. “Shut up and drink something, where did yours go?”

Logan gestured vaguely around as he struggled to unscrew the top of Virgil’s water with shaky hands. “I dropped it?”

“Idiot,” Janus said fondly. “Do you want me to call your dad now?”

Logan nodded as Virgil took the water back and unscrewed the cap. “Yes, thank you.”

Virgil handed the open water to him, “You’re not allowed to scare us like that again.”

“You keep saying that,” Logan said as he drank the water, “but I’m not sure how much control I have over you thinking I’m dead.”

“He did WHAT?!”

Janus was holding his phone about an arms length away from his head as Logan’s dad’s voice came loud and clear through his phone.

“He fainted Mr. Berry,” Janus called through the phone. “But he’s awake now?”

“Thank you Janus. Could you put him on?”

Janus held it out and Logan winced and took it, “Hi Dad.”

“Logan? Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

“Yes, but I’m fine, relatively speaking.”

“You did hit your head?”

“...uh, yes,” Logan said hesitantly

“Okay, I’m coming to pick you up. What did you hit your head on? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“The drum set, and... I can’t see you. We’re over the phone.”

Logan could hear the smile in his dad’s voice as he said, “You've still got your head on your shoulders, that's good.”

“In all fairness, it made a very funny sound, sir!” Patton called. “I thought Logan was trying to improv!”

Logan’s dad laughed, “Well at least it wasn’t the floor, drums have a little give to them. Have you drunk water?”

“Yeah, I just did.”

“Well, drink a little more. I’ll be there in ten. You boys keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't try to play any more drums with his head!”

“Will do!” Patton responded.

“Alright. I love you Logan, see you soon.”

“Love you too Dad.”

Logan hung up and handed the phone back over to Janus. “I can’t believe I fainted. You all are never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Of course not, Mr. We-All-Need-To-Drink-Enough-Water-During-Summer,” Janus mocked. “Impeccable timing though, right at the climax of the song.”

Logan shrugged and rubbed his head. “Yeah yeah. You have full permission to bug me about drinking water for a while.”

“Oh, you shouldn't give us that much autonomy,” Janus said with a wink. “It’ll be years before you can talk to us without shoving water in your face.”

“Wait-” Roman interjected, “so Dad, was it actually years before they stopped bugging you?”

“Fortunately no,” Logan said, “Our focus shifted to graduation and college and people forgot.”

“Well, I never forgot. How could I? My little teenage brain thought you were dead,” Virgil said. “I was just biding my time. I got a little distracted after…” Virgil shot a look at Patton and grinned. “Well that’s another story.”

“Did you actually think he was dead?” Remus asked.

“Like a little bit!” Patton said. “I mean, it was a high tension moment.”

Roman looked at Logan. “How did it feel to faint? Did you see stars?”

“Yes, it was unpleasant, and you should hope it doesn’t ever happen to you,” Logan glanced at Remus. “Either of you.”

“Aw, so I can’t do a dramatic recreation of this story?” Remus whined.

“Absolutely not!” All the adults chorused.

The family fell into comfortable conversation as everyone caught up with one another, talking long into the night.

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

(Un)Needed Chapter 2

Read on A03

Chapter 1

A/N: and this is the 2nd and last (for now) instalment of unneeded! If you like it please reblog it!

______________

An alarm was going off somewhere in Thomas’s mind. It wasn’t going on in Janus’s room like it would normally do, but he could hear it drifting faintly through the door.

Something was wrong.

Thomas was in danger.

Janus jumped to his feet and reached for the doorknob, before pausing. Thomas didn’t need him. Maybe, maybe this was a test, to see if the past several days had been in vain. Thomas could do this without him, but they needed to see Thomas could do it without him. Thomas needed to know he didn’t need him.

Janus stood staring at the door, his hand was clutched to his chest. Thomas… he was self care, an element of self preservation, but Virgil was self preservation as well, he could handle it. So it… this couldn’t hurt Thomas could it? The alarm wasn’t because of him was it? No no that didn’t make any sense. Not being able to lie was hardly cause for alarm, they’d been fine for the past week, it didn’t make sense that it only raised an alarm now.

He stared at the door as the minutes ticked by. The alarm didn’t stop. It never lasted this long.

What if… What if Virgil was in trouble?

Janus’s hand drifted towards the knob.

No, Virgil was fine. Anyway he wouldn’t want his help would he? If it was Virgil, he would be fine, the alarm was going off, if he was in trouble they’d go to him, the light sides may be dense but they weren’t that dense. He was staying here.

The alarm got a bit louder and Janus dug his nails into his hand as his other hand made contact with the door knob. Janus jerked away when he realised, before frowning. But what if they couldn’t do it alone? What if Virgil was in danger and they needed help but Janus wasn’t there?

The door knob turned slowly without Janus touching it as he slowly began to bring himself back to Thomas. He needed to check. Just to make sure everything was okay, and then he’d leave again. Thomas would be safe and fine and everyone would be safe and fine and happy. But he just had to make sure first.

As soon as he felt his function reconnected, the alarm began to blare in his room.

Janus jumped and let out a shaky breath before he stepped into the mindplace, hoping his presence wouldn’t have too much of an effect.

No one was around, which was strange for an alarm situation, usually everyone would be around the Thomas-sphere, the large orb which showed what was happening from Thomas’s point of view and allowed sides to further impact Thomas’s actions without having to yell at him in person.

Janus looked at it, his hand hovering around the orb, ready to help as soon as he got a grasp of the situation, if they even needed his help, they probably had it under control.

It was strange, Logan, Roman, and Patton were all there with Thomas. They looked a little flustered but was anyone in life threatening danger? Usually the alarm would turn off when the sides started talking to each other about the issue, that is of course unless it was a manual pull, but that wasn’t- why would it be manual?

Janus focused in on the voices of what Thomas was hearing.

Roman was grumbling, “Ugh, probably in his room?”

Janus frowned, whose room?

He focused on Virgil, usually he could sense him. He couldn’t. That was bad.

Logan was talking now, “-if you wanted to enhance your anxiety for some reason. Or if you wanted to cathartically indulge in typically troubling emotions. Think, The Mind Palace, but specifically for Anxiety.”

They were talking about Virgil. Janus frowned, his hand hovering ever closer to making contact with the orb. Thomas didn’t need deception right now though did he? He needed Logic, and Logan was there. His logical fallacies weren’t needed.

Thomas pointed over at Patton, “Uh, I’d rather go to Patton’s. Can we go there?”

No! Janus’s brain screamed, and against his better judgement he plunged his hands into the orb. He funneled as much self care and self preservation as he could into whoever as he attempted to keep the denial which inherently came with the package at bay. It didn’t matter who got it, just someone needed it.

Logan cut in, “Nope. We need to go to Anxiety's room to check on Anxiety. This is the priority, do you remember what we just were talking about?”

Thomas nodded, and seemed unfazed, “Ah, okay.”

Janus relaxed his grip on Thomas’s mind slightly, as he vaguely registered Roman starting to talk. He needed to keep the self preservation in, but if Thomas started compulsively lying there would be a problem.

Patton finished saying something looked at Thomas gently and Janus curled in on himself. It felt like Patton was staring into his soul even though he wasn’t looking at him at all, he was looking at Thomas! Janus wasn’t even supposed to be there at all.

Thomas shrugged, “Yeah, it sounds fun or whatever.”

Logan’s eyes widened slightly in agitation, “Ohh- okay. I thought I would like you without your... never-ending assembly line of predicaments, but this is truly, truly bothersome.”

Roman put on his ‘serious’ face, as he got into actor mode, “Just focus on the things that would normally make you anxious. That is the corner of your mind where we need to go-”

As Roman was talking, Janus pumped just about as much self preservation he could into the front of Thomas’s mind.

It must have worked because Thomas interrupted Roman, “Got it.”

Roman grumbled something Janus didn’t really care about and they all began to sink out. They were headed to Virgil’s room.

Janus took his hand out of the orb and watched as Thomas appeared in Virgil’s room. Virgil looked annoyed? Angry? Frightened? Anxious? ...Sad?

Janus bit his lip and flicked off the alarm. They’d be okay now. Virgil would take care of them.

As Janus headed back to his room, he knew things had changed.

Despite it all he was needed.

And for now, he could work with that.

~~~

Virgil sank out to his room, Virgil. He’d told them. Roman had laughed. He shuddered, despite Roman seeming almost regretful, that sound still echoed in his ears, high and unwelcome, he wished it would go away.

The others had been… well Patton had said that thing about being upset if it wasn’t what he expected, and it hadn’t been what he expected, so he must be upset too. And Logan seemed fine with the name, but after ducking out? Making Thomas void of self preser... wait...

His expression dimmed like the sky anticipating a brewing storm, as he went over what happened, completely void of self preservation, that shouldn’t have been possible. Janus made sure that wasn’t possible. They both held keys to self preservation, two needed to be absent for Thomas to lack it completely.

Virgil paced nervously around the floor of his room, he’d argued with Janus, what if that somehow broke Janus’s bond to self preservation? Did he say something that could have blocked him out? Did it even work like that? Or maybe his ducking out a stronger force than Janus’s self preservation? In which case he was lucky Thomas wasn’t dead, he could have wandered into the road or cut himself by accident or decided to go skydiving? If he had that much sway over Thomas… he couldn’t afford to fuck up again.

Unless it wasn’t that he was more powerful. Maybe something bad happened to Janus? He’d seen him last week and he was… fine... relatively speaking. But so many awful things can happen in just a few hours so who knows what could happen in literal days. He could have been stabbed and was bleeding out or he could be trapped in his room shut off from Thomas because of Virgil ducking out, no one had ever done it before! Virgil didn’t know the semantics, he should have thought that through more carefully. Maybe Janus was dying and it was his fault.

Virgil glanced at his door, there was a very easy way to alleviate these concerns. Janus was so close, he was so close and if he needed help Virgil could so easily go to him.

But if he didn’t need help… their argument was still fresh in Virgil’s mind despite the days in between. The memory stung, he’d said some things he wished he hadn’t and he kind of hoped Janus felt the same way, but he didn’t want to check up on Janus. But he needed to know Janus was okay. He was stuck.

He couldn’t go to the others, he’d just gotten accepted by them, he couldn’t push it, and anyway they didn’t know Janus well enough to want to help. But he needed someone, maybe he could leave a note? But there would be no way to tell if Janus had read it, and if he was in serious trouble, he might not even be able to.

Remus. He could go to Remus. Well Virgil didn’t exactly want to go to him, if he had another choice he'd take it, but he and Remus weren’t exactly on unfriendly terms. Well… Remus didn’t seem to think they were on bad terms, which was what mattered. As long as Remus was willing to help him.

Virgil slinked past Janus’s door on the way to Remus’s, Janus couldn’t know it was him asking about him.

Virgil knocked on Remus’s door and it swung open and slammed against the wall, Remus stood there, a grin plastered on his face, “Emo! What brings you here?”

“I need your help.”

~~~

Janus wasn’t sure what changed, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed.

But whatever changed, he suddenly felt warmer, something solid and warm was around him.

“Double Dee?”

Janus melted against the steady arms around him, “Go away…” he mumbled. “How’d you even get in anyway?”

“It wasn’t locked. Which is weird considering you always lock it. What’s up with you? Thomas has been weird, but like it got boring four days in.”

Janus glanced up at Remus, “I left for a bit. It was the best for Thomas, but I came back. Why are you here?”

“So you ducked out. Like Virgil right?”

“Virgil?”

“He ducked out!”

“He did what?” Janus sat up quickly and immediately was shaking with panic.

“Yep! Only lasted an hour though! Would have been fun to mess around with Thomas without his self preservation. Do you think he would have jumped out of a car if I’d asked?”

“That’s what he did?” Janus mumbled. “I thought he was just… I thought he was being stubborn and just wasn’t going. I didn’t know...”

Remus’s grip tightened around him and Janus felt himself relax subconsciously into Remus’s arms. It was warm, warm, warm…

Remus’s tone was a lot more serious, “Hey hey it’s okay. You’re okay. Thomas is okay. Nothing bad happened.”

“Yes I know and that’s only because I stepped in!” Janus said borderline hysterical, “What if I hadn’t? I almost didn’t. I thought… I didn’t know.”

“Exactly! You didn’t know!”

“No that's not an excuse! I heard the alarm, and I almost didn’t go to help because… because they could handle it. I thought they could handle it. They couldn’t. They wouldn’t have been able to get him to Virgil. Thomas was just so apathetic.”

Remus shushed Janus as he kept mumbling out half written apology after half written apology. “You’re okay now. Just breathe, everything is going to be alright.”

“I’m so sorry,” Janus said, “I thought… Remus, I hurt Virgil and I still haven’t apologized. I was trying to help him, to protect him but I only managed to hurt him. I can’t...”

“Shut up.” Remus growled, “You can. And even if you're not perfect or whatever, Thomas needs you! You can’t just go disappearing.”

“Yeah I know… I know now.”

“And you won’t do it again?”

Janus smiled, “No, no I don’t think I could. Not after this. Rather I promise I won’t. I know I’m needed as much as Thomas might dislike that it’s true, and… that’s not going to change.”

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thesentientmango · 3 years

Text

Honesty is the Best Policy

Remix of Altered Perspective by alicat54c

Read on AO3 (recommended)

Summary: The sides get a chance to meet Thomas, communicate more with him! But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll communicate with each other. Rating: T for Language and Remus

Tags: Canonverse, canon divergence, mild hurt/comfort, miscommunication, swearing, Remus being mildly disturbing: mild gore ———————————

Janus picked at his nail through his gloves as he popped up into the real world. Well calling it real was a bit of an overstatement, it wasn’t like he could interact with anything or anyone, but Thomas was doing something that had some seblince to self care.

So here he was, in the realm in between inside Thomas’s head and outside Thomas’s head with the other sides. It was a blank void besides the couch Thomas was sitting on. Thomas looked uncomfortable, he had his eyes screwed closed and he looked all too aware of his breathing.

Logan checked his watch, “I’m not sure this is the best use of Thomas’s time.”

“What would you rather him do? Flop at his audition?” Roman huffed, “No I think not. He needs to talk to me! I can help him and then we’ll get the part and all will be well!”

Remus chimed in, “I know a hundred and seventy eight ways to kill a man using a dildo and a flight of stairs!”

“No we aren’t killing anyone!” Patton said firmly, “and if we were we wouldn’t do it like that.”

“Why not! How would you propose we kill someone?”

“I mean making it look like an acci— wait no doesn’t matter! Thomas isn’t going to murder anyone!”

Remus shrugged and picked at his teeth with his fingernails, “oh well your loss!”

“It’d be too risky anyway.” Virgil said, “Thomas is a terrible liar.”

Janus raised an eyebrow, “Oh really? You insult me Virgil.”

“Thomas couldn’t lie to save his life, it’s not my fault he doesn’t listen to you.”

Janus looked back at Thomas, “perhaps. Or maybe even you don’t know how good he is.”

The lines of concentration on Thomas’s forehead relaxed slightly. Janus leant back against where he was leaning against the newly materialized wall as a room began to form around them. He didn’t see why he had to be there, Virgil was right, Thomas didn’t listen to him, and anyway Prince boy was the only one who was needed in this situation, acting was kind of in his domain.

Everyone looked impatient, and despite Thomas relaxing slightly, he still looked just as squeamish. He wasn’t going to be able to relax with everyone like this.

“I wish he’d just hurry up and do it.” Roman said.

“Well he’s not going to be perfect at it right away,” Patton reassured as Roman bounced from foot to foot impatiently.

“Exactly, and that is not the point of experiment.” Logan said, “All is not for naught if the proportions of the hallway are not perfect.”

The walls finished materialising and Thomas relaxed further into the couch.

“There’s no way he will do this right,” Virgil hissed, “He’s not going to be able to picture anyone and then he’s going to fail his audition.”

Roman glared at Virgil, “He’s going to crush it! I mean how hard is it to picture a person? I know picturing me in all my glory might be a little difficult but-”

“Actually,” Logan said, “when you dream, you use faces of people you know to populate them, so creating new completely unseen faces is very difficult.”

“Oh and we all have completely new and separate faces to ones Thomas has seen.” Janus said.

Patton laughed, “I don’t know I think Logan has as much resemblance to Thomas as that Clark Kent fellow has to Superman!”

Logan blinked, “I- yes? They have- we have…”

“Yes Logan?”

Logan groaned in frustration as he suddenly found words, “Morality! Our faces are the same!”

“Well clearly I look the most unlike Thomas!” Roman declared, “I mean we have Two Face and Dreary-Eye, and… whatever Remus is trying to be. But clearly me in all my princely glory is the most unlike Thomas.”

Remus and Virgil burst out laughing, Logan and Janus just looked confused, and Patton was nodding supportively.

“You sure are!” Patton said.

“I’m sorry, are you actually humoring him here?” Virgil asked, “Janus literally is half snake!”

Janus pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yes, and not that this debate isn’t important enough to happen right now, but Thomas is trying to concentrate.”

Silence slowly fell over the group, the only thing that was making noise was the ticking of the clock in the background.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

“This is a waste of time.” Virgil said his eyes trained on the clock.

“Let Thomas focus.” Janus said as he put a finger to his lips in a shushing motion.

Thomas took a deep breath in and as he blew out Janus noticed the other sides becoming more translucent. Janus watched Roman curiously. This must be what happened when Thomas attempted to draw a side out, it probably felt weirder to Roman. He wondered where he was going to be when he fully disappeared, perhaps back in his room.

Thomas’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, “Woah this actually working! Uh person over yonder? Were you talking?”

The other sides were completely gone, he had the metaphorical spotlight, this was… odd to say the least. Thomas’s eyes were opened and staring right at him which meant in the real world they were probably closed but that didn’t matter, he was seeing Janus. Janus paused before deciding to play into the dramatics, there was only one chance to make a first impression after all.

Janus gestured and looked around the now empty room, “Oh no, that was one of the many other people in this room!”

The feeling of scrutiny clambered up his spine and draped itself like a shawl over his shoulders, draping him in discomfort as Thomas scanned him up and down, up and down, up and-

“Okay… so you’re-” Thomas paused, “-my sarcasm?”

Janus shook off the feeling and enveloped an air of confidence as he turned so Thomas had a full view of his face and smiled, sarcasm… he could work with that. Oh but he could feel Virgil’s panic about his one on one time from here, the change in plans from Roman meeting Thomas to him probably didn’t help either, and that simply would not do. Janus made a quick flick of his wrist to suppress the thoughts.

Thomas blinked like he had just lost a thought and Janus’s grin widened, “Why yes, absolutely! What an amazing deduction,” he drawled.

Maybe he overdid it a little, Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “Uh cool. Well, I’m Thomas, but… you already knew that?” He said as Janus laughed slightly.

“Oh yes, that comes with the territory of being a part of you.” He said dismissively.

Thomas rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, right…”

The dark edges in the room grew a few shades darker and started to inch towards Thomas’s direction, and his shadow stopped mirroring his movements as it detached from Thomas and curled around him protectively.

Oh Virgil was so over dramatic.

Janus pushed himself off the wall and brought himself to his full stature and approached slowly, savoring every step.

“So my dear Thomas,” Janus said when he was just a pace or two away from being able to touch him, “What did you need my assistance for?”

Thomas’s shoulders were shrinking into his body, “Shouldn’t you know if you’re a part of me?”

Janus laughed and took relish in the way Thomas gaped at the sight of his fangs. He smoothly moved down next to Thomas and leant in like he was about to share a secret, “Now Thomas if I knew everything around here I would be you!” He leant back away from Thomas as Thomas laughed slightly, and crossed one of his legs over the other, “And I totally care about every single little thing that happens in your life that doesn’t involve me.”

Thomas tipped his head to the side. “I guess! Well, I’m auditioning for this musical, you… know what that is right?”

“No. I only live in your brain.”

“Point taken,” Thomas said. “Okay but for the part I’m auditioning for I need to get into a more villainous mindset. The villains always get the best songs and awesome outfits and are really cool but...”

“You are not like that,” Janus finished, “So you decided to talk to the part of yourself that is villainous?” He drew back and fanned his face like he was trying not to cry, “I’m hurt!”

“No! I’m sorry that’s not what I meant, I just need to be suave and you know,” Thomas gestured at Janus when he couldn’t think of more words, “more bond villainy!”

Janus immediately leant back against the couch as he stared dead into Thomas’s eyes, and said, “Mister Bond, it seems I’ve misjudged you, your stupidity runs deeper than I thought. Thanks largely to your efforts there’s no way to stop me, you’ve been undone by your own hubris. And now the world will perish by my hands!”

Thoma’s eyes lit up and shadows retreated from around the room, “Yes! Yeah! That! Exactly!” He attempted to mimic Janus’s body posture.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

“We better get started.” Janus said, “What exactly do you want to practice first? I mean I’m sure your poker face and lying absolutely don’t need any work at all.”

“I don’t know Sarcasm.” Thomas deadpanned, “I think I’m perfect at lying.”

“Maybe to yourself. Okay Mr. Confident, stand up, we’ll run your audition scene first, let’s hope your hubris truly isn’t your downfall.”

Thomas floundered, “Uh really? I mean I’m barely off book and-”

“And practice will make you worse?”

Thomas conceded and stood up, his shoulders drew back, he looked more like Roman. Thomas began to recite the monologue, but Janus cut him off almost as soon as he started.

“I know you know but in any acting confidence is key. You are going to defeat the hero, you are the most notorious villain the stage has ever seen, now act like it.”

After hours of intensive... training, for lack of a better word, Janus sank out expecting to be greeted to the empty mindscape, but instead everyone was there. They all seemed to be doing their own things, however as soon as Janus entered the room stilled.

“Welcome back,” Logan said eventually, breaking the silence.

Roman looked a bit annoyed, as he said, “oh yes I just hope you had a ball.”

“Roman.” Patton warned before smiling at Janus, “How was it?”

“Good,” Janus said calmly. “With my continued help, Thomas might have half a chance.”

Roman rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath. Remus cackled at whatever it was and Virgil smirked and jabbed Roman in the side with his elbow.

“Right,” Janus said, ignoring the pressing feeling that something was off. “Well I have business to attend to. Do let me know if I can help you with anything.”

No one came for assistance.

The day Thomas got the part was a happy one for everyone. After a day of intense celebrations organized by a combined effort of Roman and Patton, Janus finally managed to sneak away to his room, glowing with pride. Thomas had listened to him and look where that got them!

Janus laughed and lit the candles which lit his room with one flick of his hand before pausing. His room, it seemed different. Janus walked around the perimeter of his room, everything was where it should be, perhaps it was nothing.

What wasn’t nothing was the gift bag on his desk. It was a sleek black bag with yellow tissue paper coming out of it. Janus walked over and picked up the tag, ‘Thank you’ Janus frowned, thank you? He hadn’t helped any of the sides recently, well perhaps Roman, he’d helped Thomas get the part, but this seemed unlike him, and anyway Roman hadn’t had the chance to sneak in, he’d been with Janus ever since they found out Thomas got the part. Janus sighed and unwrapped it, if it was a prank he’d rather get it over and done with.

Inside was a pocket watch, it looked old and worn, as Janus ran his fingers over it he could have sworn he saw it glow in the candlelight . There was Latin on the lid, verum invenire, find the truth. Janus snorted and flicked it open, the clock was… warped in a way. It was in Roman numerals, but it was as if someone had peeled back the face of the clock to expose the gears. Janus watched as the hands ticked around, it seemed to be operational despite the curious design detail, half of it being exposed like that. Oh well, Janus thought as he slipped it into a pocket under his cape, it didn’t matter, it was truly beautiful.

~~~

It seemed some of the other sides were a bit antsy about Janus’s new relationship with Thomas, Virgil especially didn’t like how Janus could just talk to Thomas, as he often did, and Roman had quoted Uncle Iroh at him so many times, Janus often just said the quote with Roman when he started talking.

“It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.”

Of course he had limits, they all did, it wasn’t like he could just appear at any time. He could talk to him whenever Thomas found himself in a meditative state, which he did much more frequently now that meditation had proven to be a positive force in his life.

Janus had fun with how he addressed Thomas, sometimes he’d give him something more serious to work with, but other times… eh maybe he’d suggested pushing people down stairs or ways to subtly poison someone once or twice. He couldn’t really be to blame, those were fun!

But Janus wasn’t the only side who wanted to get in on the fun.

Remus and Logan were having a conversation in Thomas’s room while Logan tried to keep Thomas focused on meditation.

Logan hummed and he removed his hand from Thomas’s head, he didn’t need to keep contact, he had just found it was helpful to kickstart the process. “The term drifting off to sleep is so strange, you are not going anywhere.” Logan said thoughtfully.

“Au contraire nerd man,” Remus said as he flicked Thomas in the forehead which made Thomas’s forehead crinkle as he seemed to think something less pleasant before relaxing. Remus continued, “all sleeping people are actually just teleported into the ocean but like really deep down, you know how the ocean is like hyper unexplored? So all the creatures that live under there are just crawling around on your unconscious body as it drifts through the great unknown, and we don’t even know what most of them do!”

Logan nodded, “Well of course that’s not true, but the ocean really does have so much in the way of unexplored depths, some of which mankind might never know.”

“Or one day we’ll bite off more than we can chew! And then we’ll really be in trouble!” Remus said as he bit off one of his fingers.

Logan tilted his head as Remus’s finger began to grow back, “Yes it really is fascinating how large it is, but of course the great expanse of space is bigger.”

“And who knows what’s out there!”

“Exactly!”

Thomas huffed in frustration, “Stop—,” he whined, “I’m really trying to meditate, you know clear the mind!” This caught the two side’s attention who noticed Thomas had gone from sitting up to lying down with a pillow clamped over his ears.

Logan reached over to refocus Thomas on meditation but Remus beat him to it, “That’s no fun!” Remus chirped, and his voice was amplified around the room, “How would you even go about clearing all the thoughts from your brain… Oh! I know! What if you cracked open your skull like an egg and literally washed your brain! I wonder if brains would taste any good scrambled...”

Thomas groaned and put one hand on the back of his head like he was verifying that his skull wasn’t open and curled up tightly in a ball. “Ugh…”

Remus grinned as he sat on the floor in front of Thomas, he wasn’t sure where Logan had gone, but at least the dork wasn’t interrupting. “Oh what would you do if an alien burst out of your chest, do you think you’d even know it was there before it came out? How much do you think it would hurt? Do you think you'd die? Cause I think you’d bleed out as your alien baby ate your guts and stuff, probably be slow and painful. What if there’s one in you-”

Thomas suddenly hucked a pillow at him. Remus yelped as he took the pillow straight in the face and fell backwards. As he lay on the floor a grin spread across his face which was covered completely by the pillow.

~~~

Logan sank up into the commons where only Janus was, “I thought Thomas was meditating.” Janus said from his position on the couch, he didn’t bother to look up from his book, Logan had a different quietness from Virgil and none of the others were quiet when they entered a room.

“Good evening Janus. As did I,” Logan responded.

“What happened?” Janus asked, not really paying attention to the conversation.

“Nothing important.”

The pocket where the watch resided burnt against his chest and Janus swore under his breath as he yanked it out of his pocket, well that was one way to get his attention. The lettering on the cap was glowing. Janus blinked as a frankly ridiculous idea struck him, “Logan,” Janus said as he got up off the couch and walked over towards Logan. “Come look at this.”

Logan walked over and glanced at the watch as Janus flicked it open and held it up, fully prepared to look like a fool, as it started swinging on its own accord. Logan’s eyes traced the path of the pocket watch and his shoulders relaxed.

The room around them stilled in anticipation, all waiting for Janus, who had no idea, whatsoever, what he was going to do.

“Logan,” Janus started, “when I catch this watch, you will be compelled to tell me the truth of my next question.” Janus took a deep breath before quickly jerking his hand down and catching the watch.

Immediately Logan blinked and glanced down at the watch in Janus’s hand, “Did… did you just try and hypnotize me? Because that is not at all how that works and-”

“What happened just now with Thomas?” Janus asked, completely ignoring what Logan was saying.

“Thomas is talking with Remus.” Logan said immediately before realizing what he’d done and wincing, “The hypnosis worked didn’t it.”

“‘Fraid so.”

“Fascinating,” Logan murmured.

“Honesty is the best policy.” Janus said as he pocketed the watch again.

“Well that means very little coming from you. Where did that come from?”

“It was a gift.” Janus said simply before asking, “how did it happen? Did Thomas need him for something?”

“Ah no, Remus muscled his way in, like he does. Properly forced Thomas to pay attention to him.”

Janus snorted, “Oh so often the way with him… but this must really annoy you. Remus and I begin the first to speak with Thomas.”

Logan shrugged, “Not particularly, Remus being near the beginning was inevitable, as soon as he realized it was an option it would be his goal and we all know how Remus gets about those. And Thomas needed you. I’m more curious about who’s going to react worse about learning this information, Patton or Virgil.”

“I bet three days of Remus not messing with your room that it’s Virgil.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, his room was often the center of Remus’s pranks, it was more suspicious when he went a day with no obvious goo or mysterious creatures, it left him on edge, “What do you get if you win?”

“I don’t know Logan, what do I get if I win?”

Logan hummed, “I will attempt to convince Patton that you are a good force in Thomas, since I believe he’s relatively neutral towards you at the moment?”

“Yes, that’s… that’ll work.”

“We should bring everyone here so when Remus appears he can tell them all at the same time, they should all be told the same way, reduce the independent variables.”

Janus nodded, “Well I don’t know if it would get Roman, but I suppose that matters less, I could set a small fire in the kitchen. Burn something. Virgil would immediately come, trust me, and Patton I assume would also come?”

“It is a bit worrying that your mind went straight to arson,” Logan said with a smile, “but yes that should be fine.”

~~~

As Remus recovered from the initial shock of having a pillow chucked at him he grinned, this was going to be so much fun. Remus pulled down the pillow and let his skin and muscles under his face tear open to reveal not his skeleton, but sunken eyes that seemed to be melting and whatever flesh-like thing his eyes were set into seemed to be rotting as he screamed at Thomas.

Thomas flinched back and pulled up his duvet between him and Remus as he squeeked.

“The good ol’ jumpscare! It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a chance to do that, but always a fun one right Thomas?” Remus looked at the bed where Thomas had been just a moment ago. “Thomas? Hey Thomas? Thomathy where’d you go?”

Thomas threw back the covers and Remus blinked in surprise, the hiding under the blankets tactic, it got him every time. Thomas positioned the pillow between him and Remus. “That was super not cool.”

Remus blinked and appeared at the end of Thomas’s bed, and leaned into the light. He grinned, being sure to show Thomas every inch of his wide sharp toothed smile. “Oh so you think I’m hot? You think I’m sexy?”

“What? No you’re me!”

Remus grinned and lay down on the bed, “Nothing wrong with self love!”

Thomas pressed his palms into his eyes, “Ugh okay so what are you? My nightmares?”

“Only in your dreams!” Remus chirped.

“Okay so nightmares, but um kind of real? Like all my unrealistic… scary thoughts but real?”

“That’s the one!” Remus said as his eyes popped out of his head and bounced around like an overactive game of paddle ball.

“...right.” Thomas said he lay down, “Well horror, chaos gremlin, nightmares, whatever you are, I’m going to sleep.”

Thomas closed his eyes and turned over but Remus was having none of it as he crawled on top of Thomas and pressed his face so it was almost touching him, he could feel Thomas’s breath, oh how easy it would be to suffocate him if he were real, how many times had Thomas been in this position with his friends? His family? “Hey.” Remus whispered.

Thomas opened his eyes and flinched, “Oh my god what do you want Nightmare?”

Remus grinned, his teeth glowing with radiation like light, it probably wasn’t healthily, but who was he to care! He wasn’t even real! “I just wanted to remind you that if you wanted to you could kill everyone you love! Oh and no need for all that formality! You can just call me Remus! Okay tatty bye!”

Thomas seemed shocked but as Remus hopped off the bed to figure out the most disturbing way to disappear.

“Wait you guys have names? Does Sarcasm have a name?”

“Yep!” Remus stepped back as Thomas’s curtains grew teeth and waved excitedly, “don’t let the curtains bite!”

“Wait Remus!”

The curtains swallowed him and returned him to the space where he couldn’t be seen but could see, he looked around as the curtains spat out his bones and the entire contents of his stomach. Curtains, apparently, aren’t a fan of glow sticks, tide pods, pins, make up, and whatever else he’d eaten recently.

When Remus entered the mindscape it was borderline chaos, Remus took a deep breath in, savoring the confusion, anger, panic, before skipping up to the small crowd with glee.

The air smelt like smoke and Virgil was clutching a fire extinguisher, as Patton attempted to pry it out of his hands. Logan and Janus both looked… guilty? Maybe… it wasn’t an emotion Remus felt, he took his behavior in stride!

As Remus approached, Logan and Janus shared a slightly panicked expression.

Remus just grinned and shouted, “Hello~ Comrades! Friends! Enemies! I’m here now,” he pointed at Virgil who was glaring at him, “No need to fret emo.”

Patton offered him a supportive smile, “What have you been up to?”

Remus’s grin widened as he watched both Janus and Logan’s faces just crumple. “Oh you know just the norm, talking to Thomas!”

Virgil bolted upright and shook his head as Patton tried to calm him down again, “Oh no fuck no, Janus, Remus, that means I’m next! I can’t be next! What would I say, what if he hates me!”

Logan shook his head, “There is no way for you to know you’ll be next, there’s insufficient evidence to-”

“And even if you were next,” Patton cut in gently, “You’d do great! And you can always choose not to answer him!”

Virgil shook his head, “No no no that’s out of the question, that would just make him hate me more.”

Remus picked at his nails clearly bored with the conversation.

“How did it go with Thomas?” Janus prompted.

“I’m so glad you asked! I totally scared him! And then gave him something to think about! Oh the metal agony! He’ll be up all night.”

“What did you say?” Logan asked, curiosity written all over his face.

“I told him my name, and then he asked if Janus had one and I said yes and just left!”

Logan snorted into his hand before straightening up and saying, “as Logic I am forced to say that was very… bad Remus. It could negatively impact Thomas’s sleep schedule.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “But as Logan?”

“I, Logan, find that to be a clever way to mess with Thomas’s head, as I would be lying if I said prior to learning the nature of Janus’s name, I had never fixated on what it might be, and I bet the look on his face was figuratively priceless.”

Logan offered Remus a tentative high five which Remus enthusiastically smacked before pointing to a terrified looking Virgil. “You’re up the bitching hour!”

~~~

Janus had found that usually when Thomas meditated he wasn’t really looking for much of a conversation, it was generally when he wanted to relax, calm down, or sleep, but one day he did it in the middle of the afternoon with no of his usual reasons present and Janus could feel him practically begging for his presence.

“I’m here, no need to panic on my behalf.” He said as he materialized.

“Sarcasm!” Thomas said happily, “okay I can’t believe I forgot about it but I wanted to ask you, did you get my gift?”

Janus blinked in confusion momentarily before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the watch, “This?”

“Yes! Oh I’m glad it worked, I wasn’t sure I’ve obviously never tried doing anything like that before-” Thomas cut himself off with a wave of his hand, “But I digress, it’s just a small thank you for what you helped me with, it’s not like it really does anything-”

Janus raised an eyebrow at that.

“-it just looks cool! Like something a Bond villain might have, since like our conversation and you being all like that! I just thought it fit your aesthetic! But you probably knew that since you’re the most in control right?”

Janus blinked and almost laughed in shock, “Oh yes. I’m totally the one in charge.”

Thomas looked up sharply, noticing the tone of Janus’s voice “It’s not Remus is it?”

“Oh god no, but I almost forgot you met him, how was that?”

Thomas rubbed the back of his neck, “Well he said some... interesting things.”

“Yes he does tend to do that.”

“Do you have a name?”

Janus hummed, “oh yes I would think so.”

“But you... don’t know it?”

“Don’t be silly Thomas, I know absolutely everything.” Janus said only half answering Thomas’s question.

“So… you know how many of you exist?”

Janus sighed, “Thomas that’s not up to me is it? You imagined me, I’m not real, I’m a part of you, a fragment of your complex personality that you use to better understand yourself. There are as many of us as you need or want because you are literally just talking to yourself. Think of me as an imaginary friend, I’m always there, even when you stop talking to me, what I am is still there, in your heart or something, but I’m not real.”

Thomas nodded, “Yeah I knew that.”

“But you wanted to hear it,” Janus said simply, “and that’s part of the reason I’m here. I tell you what you want to hear and sometimes what you need to hear.”

“Thanks Sarcasm, I appreciate it.”

Janus picked at his nails, “but I totally didn’t mean to help you, it’s in my best interest if you're in inner turmoil after all”

Thomas smiled slightly and closed his eyes before relaxing back into himself, “Right… thank you.”

Janus tipped his hat even though Thomas probably couldn’t see him and disappeared into the shadows.

The commons were eerily quiet when he appeared in it. Janus hummed as he looked around, everyone was busy so it seemed, he started headed towards his door. As he passed Patton’s door he heard Logan’s voice say softly, “But doesn’t he deserve the same benefit of the doubt we gave Virgil?”

Janus’s heart squeezed and he smiled to himself before making his way back to his room, Logan always kept a promise.

When he arrived the very first thing he noticed was that the candles were lit, curious, he always put them out, fire hazard and all that, although Virgil would probably laugh at him for worrying about a few silly candles considering he literally set fire to the kitchen a couple days ago. He stepped a bit further into his room and glanced around the room encased in flickering shadows. Someone was standing by his desk, playing with a leaf of his plant. It didn’t take long for Janus to recognize the figure, he knew that extravagant outfit anywhere.

“Roman I see you’ve occupied yourself with Emrys,” Janus drawled as he stepped further into the room.

Roman spun around on his heel quickly, “Janus I didn’t hear you come in! Yes, your plant! I didn't really expect you to be the plant type.”

Janus nodded, “Well I’m full of surprises, and so are you, I wasn’t expecting any visitors. To what do I owe the honor of your presence?”

“Um, you redecorated?” Roman said, completely ignoring Janus’s question.

The feeling of something being off with his room came back with a vengeance. He hated to admit it was a bit embarrassing how Roman could notice what was different and he couldn’t.

“How do you like it?” He asked, hoping to spark Roman’s passion for interior design.

“Well,” Roman started. “I do like it? Of course I thought you were more partial to the neon yellows, but the pastels are certainly a nice change. Also-” Roman gestured to the curtains, “-I like the new design of these!”

Janus looked around his room, Roman was… right. The colors were different, lighter, and the curtains were different, they looked more structured and had more light layers than the single sheet of fabric it had been previously.

“I thought it was time for a change of scenery…”

Roman nodded, far too enthusiastically for Janus’s liking. “Yes, they’re beautiful!”

“So why are you here?” Janus asked, changing the subject sharply as he turned and looked at Roman.

“I-Uh…nothing so I’ll just be going.”

“Level with me Roman,” Janus said. “I know you wouldn’t come here for no reason.”

“How did you meet Thomas?” Roman blurted.

“You were there.” Janus said flatly, “He needed me, and so I went.”

Roman bit his lip, “Right… he didn’t-” Roman shook his head, “nevermind.”

“Speak your mind.” Janus prompted gently, “We’re alone, and you know I of all people can keep a secret.”

“When you— I thought he’d—” Roman took a deep breath and composed himself before saying, “He didn’t need to meet Remus.”

Janus tilted his head, “No, I suppose not, but he wanted to.”

Roman’s head shot up and he stared at Janus, “Why?”

“He wanted to know who was making him think… strangely, for lack of a better word. So he got in touch with that side of himself.” Janus scanned Roman, “You’re jealous.”

He flinched, “That’s an ugly word.”

“It’s true though isn’t it?” Janus asked. “You’re worried Thomas doesn’t need you because you haven’t talked with him, but Remus, he has, it makes you feel... unneeded.”

Roman pursed his lips and looked away.

“It doesn’t work like that.” Janus said softly, “He has only met two of us, and you know he needs you.”

“Of course I do.” Roman said as he began to walk towards the door.

Janus flinched as the watch in his pocket burned with searing heat, and Janus mumbled under his breath, “I don’t need your help with this.” As he put a hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“You’ll get your moment, but don’t compare yourself with Remus. You don’t have the same function, if you didn’t you wouldn’t both need to exist.”

“Yeah… you’re probably right.”

Roman smiled tightly before making his way out the door.

Janus watched him go, lips pursed, he probably started out too strong. Ease into the self worth and self esteem issues next time. He shook his head when he remembered the watch, forcing Roman to talk would have only made things worse in the long run, he made the right choice, despite only succeeding in making Roman panic.

~~~

Virgil was panicking.

Well panicking was an understatement . He panicked plenty, but this was more like fucking freaking out.

He was on track to meet Thomas any day now, and although most of the others kept saying it would be whoever Thomas needed next it really kinda seemed like all the dark sides were meeting Thomas first. Which didn’t bode well for a kind of dark side type of guy.

It didn’t help that Thomas had made an awful decision to accept an invitation to go rock climbing with his friend and their friends. Who even likes rock climbing? Virgil thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around himself protectively. It’s stupid and hard and heights! Who likes heights? One slip and you’re dead. And if Thomas didn’t slip up he might distract his friend and make them slip up and then their death would be on his hands.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Absolutely fucking not gonna happen.

The shadows hugged Virgil’s shoulders as he watched Thomas warily from his spot curled up in the darkest corner of the stairs. Thomas was watching Parks and Rec again as he tried to fall asleep because of course he was. It was familiar and if Virgil was this anxious, Thomas must be feeling some of it.

Thomas sat up and readjusted as his thoughts murmured quietly around the room, Virgil couldn’t quite hear at his distance, but Janus did and he snickered as he looked straight at where Virgil was, the corner was black with shadows, “Oh of course you’re not nervous Thomas,” Janus said his honey sweet lie dripping like poison from his tongue.

Virgil’s back arched as he drew further in on himself.

“Virgil, we can't cancel.” Patton said calmly, as he noticed Virgil’s body language. “It would be rude to do so last minute.”

“But heights!” Virgil cried, speaking for the first time since the group arrived. The shadows were creeping onto the ceiling now.

“Oh pish posh,” Roman said, as he summoned a ball of yarn and flicked it towards Virgil who caught it automatically, “How is he supposed to get over his silly fear if he doesn’t go out and conquer it! Knit something, calm yourself.”

“No no no!” Virgil cried as he dropped the yarn and pressed his palms hard against his temples. “You’re not listening to me! Thomas doesn’t know how to rock climb! He’s going to get hurt! He can’t do this! You can’t make me do this!”

Shadows all around the room began to grow.

“Virgil?”

And then just like that, they were gone. Virgil looked around the room panicked, No this couldn’t be happening now! He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do, how could he help Thomas if he didn’t even know how to help himself!

“Okay,” He heard Thomas say from the couch, his eyes were open and skirting around the room, Virgil retreated back into the shadows a bit further. “Deep breaths Sanders, what’s worrying you this time?”

“You’re gonna get hurt.” Virgil mumbled, and Thomas’s eyes widened as he stared towards the corner he was sitting in.

“Hello?” Thomas asked cautiously.

“You know jack shit about rock climbing,” Virgil continued. “And you’re terrified of heights! What if you put the safety equipment on wrong? What if you do that then fall? Your upper body is not ready for this, you’re going to make a fool out of yourself.”

“Hey now-”

“And you only know one person in the group! So you’re going to make a fool out of yourself in front of a bunch of strangers or even worse what if you make one of them fall! That would-”

Thomas took a deep breath and Virgil felt his stomach drop gently from where it had been lodged up in his throat.

“Alright.” Thomas said, “Let's take a breather. Clearly this is making me very uncomfortable. I’m sure if I just explain my feelings about the matter they won’t mind if I cancel.”

The shadows from around the room all retreated slightly and Virgil looked up at Thomas, panic still set heavy in his heart, “But if you do that, they might not invite you to anything else because you’re boring and a flake and you’ll be left out and alone.”

Thomas frowned and his eyes flicked around, considering, “...Or they will invite me to other things that don’t make me uncomfortable?”

Shadows coiled around Virgil as they retreated from around the room, “I guess,” Virgil mumbled.

“So… what are you?” Thomas asked, “my cautiousness? Vigilance? Stress? Adrenaline?”

Virgil shrugged, “Whatever you want.”

Thomas smiled warmly and Virgil squirmed slightly under his gaze, “Well Caution, it’s nice to meet you.” Thomas paused, “Do you have a name?”

“Dunno, I just work here,” Virgil lied.

That answer seemed to leave Thomas with more questions than it answered, which Virgil took that as a queue to disappear back into his mind. He was not going to stick around any longer than he had to, and he certainly didn’t want to answer any more questions than necessary.

Virgil reappeared in the imaginary living room, Patton and Roman were gone, but Janus was still sitting where he was when Virgil left.

“Virgil.” Janus said without looking up from his knitting.

“What are you doing here?”

Janus looked up and set his knitting aside, “I never left. And it’s not like I know what meeting Thomas is like or anything.”

Virgil rolled his eyes.

“And-” Janus continued as he stood up, “I know how excited you were to meet him.”

As Janus walked past Thomas who was on the phone with his friend, Thomas winced and bit his lip, and Virgil wondered what caused it. Thomas’s friend probably hated him and never wanted to see him again and-

“Take a breath.” Janus said, tearing Virgil from his train of thought. “Did it go well?”

“Fine.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Virgil shook his head, ‘No.”

Janus hissed slightly and his hand flew up to his chest like he’d been stung by Virgil’s quite simple rejection of his offer. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t want to talk,” Virgil said softly.

Janus stiffened, but didn’t object further, “well Patton told me to tell you he’d be in the kitchen if you needed anything.” And with that Janus sank out.

Virgil stayed and kept an eye on Thomas for a while, he wasn’t going to leave in the time of crisis. But after about an hour he sank back into the mindscape.

True to Janus’s word, Patton was in the kitchen when he appeared. Patton looked over, his gaze held so much sincerity Virgil just wanted to crawl up and spill his soul to Patton, “Hey Virge, how was it?”

Virgil shrugged in on himself and sat on one of the kitchen counters, “It wasn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“Oh that’s wonderful! What did Janus want?”

“Nothing.”

Patton nodded slowly, “Kiddo are you-”

He didn’t get to finish that sentence because Logan walked in, “Patton I- oh Virgil I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon.”

Virgil shrugged and hopped off the counter, “I was just leaving. Have fun or whatever.”

As Virgil meandered out of the room he heard Logan say, “How did your activity go with Janus?”

“It was… really nice.”

Virgil sucked on his tongue as he made his way back to his room. It was dark when he arrived, it always was, he liked it better that way. It usually made him feel comfortable, he was comfortable in the shadows, they made him feel at home, but today they were suffocating.

They wrapped around him whispering thoughts into his ears, thoughts about everything that was going wrong, thoughts about Janus, thoughts about Patton, Logan.

Maybe he should have stayed up with the others. Talked to Thomas. Talked to Janus. Talked to Patton. Talked to anyone.

Virgil clenched his hoodie in his fists and curled into himself as his room cocooned him in shadows.

~~~

Maybe it was more trouble than it was worth, Janus thought as he stared down at the watch. It clearly was a stickler for communication which wasn’t exactly abundant at the moment or ever, and if he wanted to keep his skin, quite literally, he might need to find a different place to store it.

There was a knock at his door and Janus shoved it back in his pocket, “Yes?”

Patton poked his head in the door, “Would you care to join me for a puzzle?”

It was a relatively mundane looking puzzle, a classic nature scene, and although personally Janus would have gone with something a bit more interesting, Patton was fidgeting like this was the most boring thing in the world, despite picking it out himself.

“So…” Patton said as he flipped over the final piece, “De-Janus…?”

Janus looked up from where he was meticulously sorting the sky pieces away from all the others. “Why yes Morality, are you okay?”

Patton blushed and looked a bit embarrassed, “Yes of course, everything’s fine.”

The watch in Janus’s pocket burnt and he suppressed an eye roll, when Thomas said a gift of his did nothing, he really didn’t know what he was talking about, “This little engagement wasn’t purely to do a puzzle together was it.”

“No,” Patton admitted. “I wanted to talk to you and this seemed like a good excuse.”

“You don’t need an excuse to talk to me.” Janus said as he found one of the corners.

“I wanted to apologize.”

Janus looked up sharply, “Why? What did you do? Were you the one that messed with my room?”

Patton laughed, “Oh no something happened to your room? I’d say Remus is the most likely culprit for that one.”

“It wasn’t his style, also he knows better than to mess with my room.”

“Well anyway, that wasn’t what I wanted to apologize for.” Patton ran his fingers over the edge of a piece, “I misjudged you and drew conclusions about you biased off nothing, and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

“I… appreciate your apology. For curiosity's sake, what prompted this?”

“Nothing in particular.”

The watch burnt again and Janus yanked it out of his pocket.

“Okay that is it! We are going to have a conversation!”

“Oh is that a watch? Why is it glowing?”

Janus ignored Patton’s question as he summoned the rest of the sides. They all looked quite frazzled as Janus yanked them into the room.

“What was that for!” Roman cried as he tried to smooth down his hair.

“This better be important, I was in the middle of reorganizing my bookcase because someone,” Logan shot a look at Remus who was already laughing, “rearranged them to spell penis with the black spined books.”

“Everyone sit. We are going to have an open and honest conversation if it’s the last thing I do!”

Everyone sat down quietly all but Remus who laughed, “I’m always open and honest! Why do I have to be here?”

“You are a part of Thomas as much as the rest of us, and clearly,” Janus said, glaring down at the watch, “he would like to be more honest with himself, so sit.”

Remus grumbled before hooking his knees over the couch and falling into it upside down.

“It has become painfully clear to me over this past month that no one here communicates!”

“We’re fine.” Virgil said and the pocket watch that was set on the table glowed brighter.

“Oh I think not!” Janus said, “Everyone has communicated even less since Thomas first reached out, and it wasn’t very good to begin with! Now why don’t we go around and discuss our feelings, because you’re all acting more like me than I am, and that is a problem!”

Logan opened his mouth, “If I may, I don’t have-”

Janus shut him up, “Actually, you may not! You are participating, and you do have feelings, don’t even try to dismiss it. You literally differentiated yourself from pure logic the other day with Remus. So you will participate.”

Silence fell over the group again and Janus clapped his hands, “Everyone is going to participate, me included, because I’m not that much of a hypocrite. Now-” Janus said, raising his hand, “-whose conflicted feelings are because of Thomas?”

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