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misshoneyimhome · 1 year ago

Note

Hey… I was thinking you can do reader x Kniesy… but there’s some smut involved. let’s say reader goes to university of Toronto and has moved in with Kniesy because her roommate was a bitch. One night after Matts comes home from a road trip, he finds reader asleep and bare in their bed with some… toys… next to reader🫣 Matty knows that reader knows to wait for him to pleasure herself but she couldn’t resist and ends up getting punished. thanks babe if you end up writing it!

Oh yes, darling! Of course, we can create some Kniesy smut 🤗💦

There's no better way to end the weekend than our freshman reminding his girl that he's the best she'll ever have - even compared to the toys she can use in his absence 😏

I hope you enjoy this 🤍

Tropes & Warnings; Matthew Knies x reader; established relationship; 18+ smut; masturbating with sex toys (vibrator), oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), cum inside;

Word count: 2.6K

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50; @findapenny; @justwanderingbutneverlost; @cixrosie;

➼｡ﾟ

Playing without me? I Matthew Knies

You’d been at the University of Toronto for a few years now, and coming to live with your boyfriend, Matthew Knies, had been a real game changer. Moving in with him had been an easy decision, especially after your previous roommate turned out to be a nightmare. Every day had been filled with annoyance and arguments over the smallest things. Unwashed dishes, loud phone calls in the middle of the night, and a complete disregard for personal space had made your living situation a daily struggle, causing you to spend countless evenings venting to Matthew, who listened patiently and offered his support.

So, when he suggested you could just move into his flat, you quickly accepted. Surely, a part of you wondered if it was too soon in your relationship, but given the situation, it just made sense and felt as natural as breathing. And in the end, the thought of coming home to his warm smile, his reassuring presence, and the comfort of his embrace made the decision an easy one.

Besides, who wouldn’t prefer sharing a flat with their charming, hockey-playing boyfriend?

Matthew was just everything you’d ever wanted in a partner—kind, thoughtful, and incredibly supportive. Though his schedule with the team meant he was often busy, he always made time for you, ensuring you felt cherished and loved. Your shared moments, whether simple dinners at home or spontaneous adventures around the city, were filled with laughter and affection. So, living with him had only brought a new level of intimacy and connection to your relationship, making you fall even more deeply in love with him every day.

For Matthew, it hadn’t really been a tough decision. You were often around anyway, especially with all the troubles you were having with your roommate. Moreover, he saw how stressed you were and wanted to make things easier for you.

Truth be told, he did his best to be an amazing boyfriend. Despite his chaotic and hectic lifestyle as a professional hockey player, he always tried to be great at prioritising your relationship. He always made sure to check in on you, even when he was on the road, as well as invite you to every game possible.

Everything just made sense with you around, whether it was you casually studying at his dining table while he played NHL video games with his teammates or the two of you having dinner together. Your presence often brought a sense of calm and normalcy to his life, and with your classes scheduled at diverse hours, much like his training, you could often coordinate your schedules. Sometimes, you’d even spend the day at his place, enjoying the quiet to study while he was out. Other times, you had more free time to either prepare dinners or enjoy a lovely lie-in on his off days when you had late classes.

And Matthew loved those lazy mornings the most, waking up next to you, the sunlight filtering through the curtains, and the world outside feeling a million miles away. Those moments were a stark contrast to the fast-paced, high-pressure environment of his hockey career, as you brought balance to his life, grounding him and making everything feel more manageable.

Even his teammates noticed the change in him since you moved in. He was more relaxed, more focused on the ice, and always eager to finish practice so he could rush home to you. They often teased him, of course, but he didn’t mind. He knew most of them understood, at least in part, what it meant to have someone special waiting for him at home.

Matthew just cherished the simple, everyday routines you had come to share - cooking breakfast together, watching movies on the couch, or just sitting in comfortable silence as you both worked on your respective tasks. It was in these moments that he felt most connected to you, and he couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his time off the ice.

Living together had strengthened your bond in ways neither of you had anticipated. The little things, like leaving notes for each other or sharing a quick kiss as you passed by in the kitchen, added up to create a sense of intimacy and partnership that made your relationship feel solid and enduring.

For Matthew, having you around wasn’t just about convenience—it was about having the person he loved most by his side, sharing in the highs and lows, and building a life together. And for you, being with Matthew was a dream come true, a chance to be with someone who understood and supported you in every way possible.

However, being accustomed to each other's presence also had its drawbacks. Those moments often arose when he had to embark on a longer road trip.

And tonight was one of those restless nights with Matthew away on a roadie with the team. His absence was always tough, but tonight, the loneliness just hit harder than usual. After watching the game against the Canadiens, you simply couldn’t help but miss his touch, his voice, and the way he made you feel whole.

It was late on a Thursday night, and as you retreated to the bedroom to get some rest, you found yourself lying in bed, Matthew’s scent lingering on the sheets. The longing for him was almost unbearable. Before you’d moved in together, you could go days, even a week, without feeling his body against yours. However, in the short time you’d lived together, you’d grown accustomed to his constant presence and started to crave him even more.

So, as you lay there, unable to fall asleep because you missed him so much, you reached for the box under the bed—the one that held your private collection of toys. You knew Matthew loved to be the one to pleasure you, but the temptation was simply too strong tonight. You needed some release, especially with the images of him on the ice still fresh in your mind.

You started slowly, letting the vibrator delicately glide through your folds as you closed your eyes and imagined Matthew’s face before you. Your lips parted as soft breaths escaped, thinking about the hits he’d taken during the match, the joy on his face after his assist as he hugged Willy, and the sweat pooling on his skin from the intense activity.

You could already feel the arousal build within you as the vibrations sent waves of pleasure through your body. And as you gently pressed the tip of the toy against your entrance, slowly pushing it in and letting it stretch you, you let out a louder moan. Of course, you wished it was Matthew filling you up with his length, but for now, your vibrator would have to do. So, as you carefully moved it in and out of your core, you let your moans flow freely, imagining your boyfriend’s cock while the little two rubber strings touched your clit, adding more vibrations to your sensitive area.

And it didn’t take long before you felt the orgasm build within you, your mind going into a haze as you kept the toy still, letting the vibrations stimulate your clit and push you over the edge. Then with a louder moan of Matthew’s name echoing through your bedroom, you let the orgasm consume you and the high take over.

Hours later, you’d drifted into a deep sleep, satiated but still longing for your boyfriend, with the toys scattered next to you, a testament to your lonely night.

And you were in such a deep sleep that the sound of the door clicking shut didn’t wake you, as Matthew had returned from his trip, exhausted but eager to see you. He tiptoed through the apartment, not wanting to wake you, but as soon as he reached the bedroom, he paused, the sight before him making his heart race and his cock twitch in his boxers.

There you were, sprawled out on the bed, completely bare, with the toys he’d bought you as gifts lying beside you. He could even spot the faint smile on your lips and the flush of your cheeks, and it was clear what you had been up to.

So, uncontrollably, Matthew’s eyes darkened with desire and a hint of something else. You knew the rules, and you had broken them. And despite how much he loved seeing you like this; he was also determined to remind you of your agreement.

So, quietly he then undressed and slid into bed next to you, his hand gently tracing your curves, causing you to slowly stir awake. Your eyes fluttered open to find your boyfriend gazing down at you with a mixture of love and something more intense.

“Hey, beautiful,” he murmured, his voice a low growl. “Missed me?”

Your breath hitched at the look in his eyes. “Matts, I—”

But he just pressed a finger to your lips, silencing you. “I see you couldn’t wait for me,” Matthew said huskily, glancing pointedly at the toys. “You know what that means, don’t you?”

You nodded, heat already pooling between your legs again as you heard the deep growl in his voice. “I’m sorry, Matts. I just missed you so much.”

But his lips just curled into a knowing smile, a grin as devilish thoughts consumed his mind. “Oh, I missed you too, baby. But you know the rules. Now, I have to remind you why you should always wait for me.”

And then slowly, still wearing a mischievous smirk, Matthew moved over you, his hands skilled and confident as they began to explore your body. His touch was firm yet tender, driving you wild with anticipation, and you could almost feel the punishment in his caresses, a blend of pleasure and restraint that left you aching for more.

Matthew’s lips found yours in a searing kiss, his hands working magic on your skin as he made sure to squeeze each breast with equal care. But he also took his time, making sure you felt every ounce of his longing and control.

And it was working. As he moved his lips and hands around, each moment only giving you a taste of what he could truly provide, you felt it as almost torturous, causing you to let out a small whine.

“Matts, please,” you softly cried into the kiss, and Matthew knew exactly where he had you. You were completely under his control, and he was definitely going to take advantage of it.

“Hmm,” he growled once more. “So, you think you deserve it?”

You could only nod to such a question. So, Matthew then slowly moved away from hovering over you, kneeling by your ankles instead, before he took a firm grip of your hips and, with his great strength, flipped you onto your stomach.

Though you couldn’t see his handsome face, you knew he was smirking. Matthew loved your buttocks; to watch it, to feel it, whether bare or clothed, his hand always found your cheeks. And tonight, he wanted to get a little closer, to remind you that he was far better than any toy you could please yourself with.

So, placing his large palms on your hips, he then pulled your bum into the air, causing you to gasp lightly as he parted your legs a little more. Your head rested on the pillow beneath you, your hands already prepared to grip the sheets as you had a hunch of what was about to come.

“Matts,” you let out a deep breath, but there was no need for a response. Instead, you suddenly felt his hot mouth on your folds, licking you from behind as he explored your heat, while his hands held a firm grip on your cheeks. “Fuck…” you gasped, the pleasure quickly stirring within you as you were still rather stimulated from your earlier actions.

But Matthew simply hummed into your core, sending more pleasurable vibrations through you, causing a shiver down your spine.

It was no secret that he was more than talented with his mouth, his pouty lips alone exuding nothing but raw sex appeal. Every time you watched him on TV, as the camera drew in closer, your eyes would always be captured by how gorgeous his lips looked. Probably several orgasms were caused by the mere imagination of his lips, yet you were the only one to actually feel them.

And when Matthew then added a hand to the mix, lightly circling your clit while his mouth worked your folds and sensitive flesh, you couldn’t help but moan deeply into the pillow beneath you.

“Shit… Matts,” you cried aloud, though muffled by the sheets. It simply felt so good. His mouth and hand were causing nothing but pure bliss as he stimulated your centre, your fingers gripping tightly onto the sheets as the arousal took over.

You could almost feel your juices trickling from your cunt, mingling with his saliva as he ate you out as if it were his last meal on earth. And soon, you felt your thighs trembling, every muscle clenching as he brought you closer to an intense orgasm.

"Yes… Oh, fucking hell yes… M-Matts… I’m coming," you almost shouted into the pillow, gently rocking your hips as the rush consumed you, ecstasy flooding your mind as you reached your peak.

It was nothing short of incredible as euphoria swept over you. And as you slowly began to come down from the high, Matthew softly withdrew from your heat, strings of saliva connected from his lips to yours, then licking his lips as he savoured the sight before him. It was everything he had aimed for, seeing how you were almost unable to keep your senses together solely from the pleasure he gave you. Needless to say, his cock was needy and twitching in desperate need of release. And since he had already made sure to remind you of his skills, he felt confident in pursuing his own pleasure.

By the time he finally entered you, you were flipped back onto your back and turned into nothing but a trembling mess, completely at his mercy. Your core was sensitive, overstimulated not only by the vibrator, but also by the expert attentions of your incredibly skilled boyfriend’s mouth. And now, your earlier fantasies were coming true as you finally felt his length inside you, massaging your walls with every thrust, hitting your g-spot, and sending you into another high as Matthew pounded you mercilessly. His force created loud smacks of skin meeting skin, your moans even louder reverberating through the room, likely audible to your neighbours. But you didn’t care. You were simply overwhelmed, relishing the intense sensation, as you and Matthew climaxed together and he filled you with his seed, making sure to mark you as his.

The night was simply a whirlwind of intense pleasure and whispered promises, as Matthew ensured you knew just how much he had missed you and stressed the importance of following the rules. And as the sun began to rise, you lay in his arms, exhausted but completely content.

Despite the passionate desires and heated lovemaking that filled the night, he always made sure to plant a soft kiss on your forehead, a tender gesture that filled your heart with warmth as he pulled you close for a cuddle. "Next time, wait for me," he whispered.

You couldn’t help but smile, nestling into his broad, muscular chest as you looked up at him. “I will, Matts. I promise.”

With Matthew back beside you, you felt confident you could endure any loneliness the world threw your way. After all, nothing compared to the love and connection you shared with him.

#my asks #18+ smut #matthew knies x reader #matthew knies smut #matthew knies imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl hockey smut

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loveroftoomanyfandoms · 5 months ago

Text

Sweet on You, Chapter 6

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: HERE

Warnings/Tags: Sugar Daddy!Matt Murdock, Idiots to Lovers, No Age Gap, Alternating PoV, No Use of Y/N

Word Count: ~3700

A/N: Guess who's back, back again? Matty's back, tell a friend...

After months of fucking off to who-knows-where, Matt finally sauntered back into the writing room in my head with a smirk on his face and the DDBA trailer in tow, so expect updates to all of my Matt fics to start back up!

As always, many thanks to @realfernmayo for the divider!!!

Tag List: @danzer8705 @capylore @shouldbestudying41 @atemydadforbreakfast @peachy-flxwr @sleepysleepymom @fishinsuits @milkbummm @lazyxsquirrel @beezusvreeland @caughtthefever @bohemianrhapsody86 @yarrystyleeza @indestructeible @pepperthebi-spy @kezibear

“I need you to stay late,” Mr. DiStefano said the following evening as you prepared to leave the office.

You paused in the middle of unlocking your desk drawer to retrieve your purse. “Wait, what? Why?”

“Harrison just called, he wants to completely redo the condos we're designing for him so he's coming in for an emergency meeting. I need you here to take notes.”

You frowned. Harrison Coco was the head of the Coco Corporation, one of the largest and most prestigious development companies in New York. “He’s coming in tonight ?”

Mr. DiStefano shook his head. “I don't like it either, but he's our biggest client. I don't want to run the risk of losing his account.”

“Can't it at least wait until tomorrow? I had plans this evening.”

“Oh, well, if whatever it is you had planned is more important than your job , then…” Mr. DiStefano trailed off, his meaning evident.

You sighed. You had been looking forward to a quiet dinner with Matt after an already hectic day. “No, sir. It's fine, I can see if I can reschedule for another day.”

“Good. Make a pot of coffee, would you? We're going to need it.”

You pulled out your phone as Mr. DiStefano walked back to his office, sighing once again as you texted Matt. I'm really sorry, but I can't make it to dinner tonight.

Your phone immediately chimed with a response. Everything okay?

Yeah, an important client is coming in so my boss is making me work late.

Ah. I see.

“He probably doesn't believe me,” you muttered to yourself. Would you mind taking a raincheck for this weekend? Or I can even do an extra dinner next week if that's preferable.

You chewed on your lip in anticipation, hoping that Matt didn't consider you already in breach of your contract and tell you to just forget about the whole thing.

Would tomorrow work for you? 6 PM at the restaurant instead of 7?

You huffed out a relieved breath. Yes, that should work. Again, I'm so sorry, my boss literally just sprang this on me.

That's quite alright, I have some things I needed to finish up tonight at the office anyway. I'll see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

You put your phone away and headed to the kitchen to brew the requested pot of coffee. Design meetings typically ran for several hours as it was, but meetings with Harrison were always even longer and more detailed. Might as well make extra since I'll probably be here until midnight.

You measured out the coffee grounds then added water to the reservoir, wondering if you'd have the time and energy to at least scarf down the leftover baked chicken you had made the previous evening before needing to get ready for bed or if you should order something to eat at the office for dinner.

You pressed the start button on the coffee machine, deciding to err on the side of caution and order in something.

You headed back to Mr. DiStefano’s office. “I'm going to grab something for dinner, do you want anything?”

Mr. DiStefano nodded. “Yeah, actually. What were you getting?”

“I was thinking maybe that ramen bar down the street.” It was relatively inexpensive and close enough to the office to where you could just run and pick it up rather than having to wait on delivery.

Mr. DiStefano nodded. “That sounds good. Give me a minute and I'll let you know what I want.”

“Okay.”

You went back to the kitchen to pour the coffee you had made into a carafe to keep warm, then brought the carafe into the meeting room and set it on a table against the wall along with some cups, a caddy full of various sweeteners and creamers, and several bottles of water. Okay, I think that's everything.

You walked back into Mr. DiStefano's office. “Decide what you want, sir?”

Mr. DiStefano nodded. “Yeah, get me the black tonkotsu with a side of takoyaki.”

You pulled your phone out to place your orders. “Okay, not a problem.”

Mr. DiStefano pulled his wallet out of his pocket and took out some cash. “Here, this should cover mine.”

You took the money and stuck it in your pocket. “I’ll let you know when I leave to go pick it up. What time will Mr. Coco be arriving?”

“Around 6:30 or so. He just got back into town from a business trip and will be on his way shortly.”

You nodded. At least that would give you enough time to eat. “I’ve got coffee and water set up in the meeting room. Do you need anything else?”

Mr. DiStefano shook his head. “No, I think that’s it for now.”

You went back to your desk and responded to a few emails from clients that you had originally left to answer the next morning, then stopped by Mr. DiStefano's office once again in order to let him know that you were leaving to go pick up dinner.

At least Abbott and Williams have already left for the day so I don't have to worry about having to deal with them too , you thought as you locked the office door behind you.

You walked the three blocks to the restaurant and picked up your order, then headed back.

“Mr. DiStefano, I'm back,” you announced as you unlocked the door and stepped back inside. “They had initially forgotten your okonomiyaki sauce, but I made sure to get them to put extra in the bag for you.”

“Okay, thanks,” Mr. DiStefano said as he came into the lobby. “Before Harrison gets here I need you to pull the current renderings for the condos as well as the designs for the Baker, Hawkins, and Guiducci accounts. Hopefully we can convince him to stick with the original design or at the very least go with something similar to what we've done before.”

There goes my time to actually sit and enjoy my dinner , you thought . It was already 6:00 and it would take you at least 15 minutes to find and pull the requested designs. “Yes, sir.”

You handed him his order and put your own on your desk before going to pull the designs. While most architectural firms were utilizing digital-only designs, DiStefano and Associates still used mostly hand-drawn renderings depending on the needs of the client. “Digital renderings may be faster,” Mr. DiStefano had once put it when you had asked him about it, “but a computer can't give you the warmth and depth of a space that hand-drawn designs can.”

Apparently the architecture world agreed, because DiStefano and Associates had been named one of Architecture Today ’s top firms for the past 5 years straight.

You found the requested plans and brought them to the meeting room then returned to your desk to hurriedly eat your (now cold) dinner.

You had just finished when you heard a tap on the front door. Perfect timing.

You hurriedly threw your take-out container in the trashcan next to your desk and walked over to unlock the door. “Mr. Coco, it's good to see you,” you said with false-but-professional pleasantness as you opened it.

You honestly didn't have anything against him personally -- he was a tall, medium-built, good-looking man around your age with dark hair and piercing blue eyes -- but you couldn't help but be annoyed that he had (unknowingly) caused you to have to cancel your dinner plans for the evening.

“Same to you,” he replied. “And I've asked you before, please call me Harrison. Mr. Coco is my father.”

You stepped out of the doorway to let him inside. “Come on in.”

You locked the door behind him and led him to the meeting room. “I'll let Mr. DiStefano know that you're here.”

Harrison nodded. “Thanks.”

You walked back to Mr. DiStefano's office. “Mr. Coco is waiting for you in the meeting room, sir.”

Mr. DiStefano nodded. “Okay, thanks. I'll be right there.”

You passed by your desk to grab your notebook and returned to the meeting room. “Mr. DiStefano will be with you in a moment. In the meantime, there's fresh coffee and bottled water if you'd like anything to drink, or I can bring you a cup of tea if you'd prefer.”

Harrison looked over at the coffee station, then back at you. “Actually, a cup of tea would be nice.”

You nodded. “We have English Breakfast, green tea, Chai, Earl Grey, honey-chamomile, and herbal peppermint. Which would you prefer?”

Harrison thought for a moment. “Let's do the Chai.”

“Okay, I'll be right back with that.”

You went to the kitchen and brewed a cup of hot water then placed a tea bag in it before returning once again to the meeting room. “Here you are.”

Harrison nodded as you handed him the cup. “Appreciate it. So, how have you been?”

“Fine, thanks.” Harrison was one of the few clients who always took the time to actually speak to you and made you feel seen and not like furniture. “How about you? Mr. DiStefano said you just got back from a trip?”

Harrison nodded. “Actually, yeah, which is why I --”

“Harrison, hello!” Mr. DiStefano's voice boomed as he walked into the meeting room. “It's good to see you.”

Harrison turned to shake Mr. DiStefano's hand. “John, thanks for meeting with me so quickly.”

Mr. DiStefano shook his head. “Not a problem. Please, have a seat.”

You sat in your usual chair in the corner of the room as the two men sat at the table.

“So tell me,” Mr. DiStefano said. “What's the issue with the condo design? I thought you said you loved it.”

Harrison sighed. “I did, I did, it's just that upon looking at it again I realized it looks like every other condo building in New York. I want something different, something that makes Coco Corp stand out. I need something… inviting .”

You wrote down different and inviting as Mr. DiStefano nodded. “Okay, I can absolutely see that. I've pulled a few comps for you to check out.”

You refrained from rolling your eyes. You knew you were just Mr. DiStefano's office assistant, but the least he could do was to say he’d had his assistant pull the blueprints rather than act like he had actually taken the time to do it himself.

Mr. DiStefano reached over and unrolled the first rendering. “Here's one we did for the Taylor Group --”

Harrison shook his head. “No, you don't understand me, John. It's gotta be a completely original design, unlike anything else in New York. I want people to look at it and see something unique, not just another high-rise taking up space where there used to be a park. And I want it to be as environmentally friendly as possible.”

Environmentally friendly, you added to your notes.

Mr. DiStefano sat back and scratched at his chin. “Well, going back to the drawing board and starting over completely from scratch is going to cost you, Harrison. I mean I've already put a lot of time and effort into the original design…”

“I don't care how much it costs. I'll pay you triple your usual hourly rate, I just need a completely new, unique design by Monday morning. I have to get the new plans over to City Hall for approval before I leave for Taiwan Monday afternoon.”

Mr. DiStefano nodded. “It'll require me to work through the weekend, but considering it's an emergency and it's for you, I'll do it.”

Harrison grinned. “Great. Let's get started then.”

You sighed to yourself. You'd been hoping that Harrison would like one of the other designs with just a few tweaks being made to make it part of his signature style, but to completely start the design process over?

It was going to be a long night.

“Walk me through step-by-step what happened when you arrived on scene,” Matt's voice said on the recording of his interview with Officer Stanton from earlier that day.

Officer Stanton had sighed. “The housekeeper answered the door and let us in, then led us to Senator and Mrs. Thompson’s bodies.”

“She was the one who discovered the victims, right?” Matt had listened to her original deposition that morning and already knew that she had arrived at the Thompson residence around 8 AM to start her workday only to discover Senator and Mrs. Thompson dead in the foyer, but he'd wanted to confirm it with Officer Stanton.

“Yeah.”

“Was anyone else at the residence?”

“No, but Mrs. Thompson’s sister arrived shortly thereafter.”

“Ah, yes, Ms…” Matt had paused to check his notes. “Stafford.”

“Yeah, that's right.”

“The Thompson’s deaths hadn't yet been made public and no next of kin had been contacted at the time, correct?”

“Right.”

“So her reason for being there?”

“She said she had made plans with Mrs. Thompson to go shopping and to have lunch.”

“And she was the one who first mentioned that my client had argued with Mrs. Thompson the previous day?”

Officer Stanton had shifted in his seat. “Yeah.”

“Yet you testified in court that it was Ms. Davies who initially mentioned the argument.”

There was a rustle of clothing as Officer Stanton had shrugged. “I got mixed up. Ms. Stafford mentioned it to us then Ms. Davies confirmed it during questioning.”

“How did Ms. Davies know about the argument?”

“She overheard Mrs. Thompson telling Ms. Stafford about it during tea at the Thompson residence.”

“Did either one know what the argument was about?”

“No.”

“Had anyone else other than my client ever been considered a suspect?”

“I don't know, you'd have to ask Detective Fraser. He was the lead on the case, I was just the first officer on the scene.”

“I will. That's all the questions I have for you, thank you for your time.”

Matt turned off the recording and took out his earbuds. He needed to talk to Detective Fraser, but he was pretty sure the police had never looked beyond Conrad -- who was clearly innocent -- for suspects.

He sighed. There wasn't anything else he could do on Conrad's case that night and he had already wrapped up his other tasks earlier in the day in anticipation of his scheduled dinner with you.

Matt had admittedly been disappointed when you had texted him to cancel and initially thought that maybe you had changed your mind about your arrangement, but had believed your explanation of having to work late, especially after you had offered to make it up to him.

He checked the time as his stomach rumbled. 11:34 PM. Shit, I should call it a night. Probably should eat something, too, since I skipped lunch.

There was a deli nearby that was open until midnight, so he gathered his belongings and headed out of the office, locking the door behind him.

He unfolded his cane and headed down the sidewalk, the smell of freshly-baked bread and sliced meat becoming stronger and more enticing the further he got down the street.

His brow furrowed as he picked up the sound of your voice. Your office was about a half a block from the deli and you had said that you'd had to work late, but Matt definitely hadn't expected you to be working this late.

“Goodnight, Mr. DiStefano,” you were saying. “See you in the morning.”

Matt frowned. He presumed that you would be walking home since cabs were scarce at this hour, but even with his efforts as Daredevil the streets weren't 100% safe. I should make sure she gets home okay.

He bypassed the deli and kept walking, reaching your office right as you were finishing locking up behind you.

You double-checked that the door was locked tight then turned towards him. “Matt?”

Matt said your name in what he hoped was a believably surprised tone. “Hi. Wow, are you just now getting off of work?”

“Yeah, design meetings always take forever, especially meetings with this particular client.” You paused. “What about you? Are you just now getting off too?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I lost track of time working on this one particular case and totally skipped dinner, so I just left the office and was heading to Raoul’s to grab a sandwich to eat at home.”

“Oh, um, you passed it. It's about half a block back the way you came.”

Matt made a fake grimace. “Oh shit, did I? Damn, it's late and I'm tired, I must've miscounted the steps.”

“Want me to escort you there?”

“You don't mind?”

“Of course not.” You moved to stand next to him and offered him your arm. “Come on, it's right down here.”

Matt took your arm and allowed you to guide him back down the street to Raoul's. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem.” You slowed to a stop as the two of you reached the deli. “Here it is.”

Matt nodded. “Thanks again.”

You huffed out a light laugh. “Part of the service, remember?”

Matt grinned. “Right, right.”

“I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Matt bit his lip. “...Unless you don't mind waiting a few minutes for me to get my sandwich then letting me walk you home?”

He could feel you relax as you shook your head. “No, I don't mind. I'd actually really appreciate it.”

“Okay, great.”

The two of you headed inside and walked up to the counter.

“Welcome to Raoul's, what can I get you folks?” the clerk said.

“Ah, yeah, can I get turkey and ham on a sub, hold the mustard?” Matt turned towards you. “Would you like anything?”

“Oh, no thank you,” you replied. “I had dinner at the office earlier.”

You were telling the truth, so Matt just nodded. “Okay. That'll be all, thanks.”

He paid for his sandwich then the two of you moved to the other end of the counter to wait for it.

“So do you work late often?” Matt asked.

“No, not really,” you answered. “And even when I do it's usually never this late. We just had a very important client insist on meeting tonight about an emergency redesign on a project my boss is doing for him and I had to be there to take notes.”

You paused briefly before continuing. “I shouldn't need to cancel dinner so last-minute again.”

Matt shook his head. “Honestly, it's fine. I might have to do the same on occasion.”

“Also, thank you for agreeing to reschedule. I was afraid you'd tell me to just forget the whole deal.”

Matt's brow furrowed. “Why would I do that?”

He heard the ruffle of your coat as you shrugged. “I dunno,” you hedged. “I thought that maybe you wouldn't believe that I was working late and that I was actually seeing another S&S client or something.”

The thought had never crossed Matt's mind, but now that you mentioned it... “ Do you have other clients?”

“No, you're my only one right now. But what about you? I know you said you're single, but you could still have a friend with benefits… with actual benefits.”

Matt shook his head. “No, there's no one in my life in that capacity right now either.”

He chewed on his lip as he thought for a moment. “How about for both our peace of mind we add an addendum to our contract? Something along the lines of ‘Neither party shall seek out or participate in other companionship or romantic entanglements while joined under the terms of this contract’.”

You let out a breath. “Agreed. I mean, since we're going to be letting people believe that we're legitimately dating it makes sense for both of us to be otherwise unattached.”

Matt nodded. “I'll write it up and we can sign it tomorrow before dinner. And now that I'm thinking about it, I probably should increase your monthly stipend since I'm preventing you from taking on other clients.”

You hesitated briefly before answering. “I appreciate that, but it's not necessary. You're already paying me more than enough as it is.”

“Are you sure? Because I don't mind increasing it.”

“I'm sure. But thanks for the offer.”

“Okay then.”

“Do you still want to meet at the restaurant? Or would you rather meet at your office to sign the addendum?”

“Restaurant is fine. It's just one extra clause so it's only one page.”

“Okay, that sounds good then.”

Your conversation halted as Matt's order was called. “You folks have a good night,” the deli clerk said as he handed Matt a plastic bag containing his sandwich.

“Thanks, you too,” Matt replied.

“You as well,” you added before the two of you headed outside.

Matt unfolded his cane and took your elbow. “Alright, which way are we heading?”

You turned back towards your office. “This way.”

The two of you walked silently, each lost in your own thoughts.

“By the way --” Matt began.

“Hey, thank you again --” you started to say at the same time.

Matt chuckled. “You go first.”

You took a breath. “I was just gonna say thank you again for walking me home. I really do appreciate it.”

Matt nodded. “It's not a problem.”

“So what were you going to say?”

“Oh, just that Foggy and Karen want to meet you.”

“Oh, okay. That's not a problem, just let me know when and where.”

“I told them maybe in a couple of weeks once we see how things go.” Matt grinned. “I want us to be comfortable with each other before I subject you to the rest of Nelson, Murdock and Page for cross-examination.”

You huffed out a light laugh. “I'll be sure to prepare, counselor.”

Matt felt you slow down as you reached your apartment building. “Well, this is me. Thanks again for walking me home.”

Matt smiled and gave you a slight nod. “Usually I'm embarrassed when I accidentally pass up places I'm trying to get to, but tonight it worked out. I'm glad I ran into you.”

“Me too. Do you need directions back to your place?”

Matt shook his head. “Nah. I can use the GPS on my phone.”

“Okay.” You gave his arm a light squeeze. “I'll see you tomorrow evening then?”

Matt nodded. “See you tomorrow evening.”

He waited as you went inside your building then turned and headed towards home, his mind going back and forth from Conrad's case to Matt's contract with you. There was something he was definitely missing in order to definitively prove Conrad's innocence, but he couldn't quite figure out what.

He shook his head. He needed to eat, shower, and sleep. He'd work on proving Conrad's innocence and writing up the addendum to his and your contract tomorrow.

#lotmf writes #Sweet on You Masterlist #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x f!reader

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graciegoeskrazy · 1 year ago

Text

if i believe u

matty healy + daughter!r (ft. gabbriette, charli, and george!)

warnings: angsty asf but what did u except, matty says he regresas being a dad, step moms(???), queen gabbriette, shitty matty, lying, yelling, a curse word or two, just general family angst, longest one if written in awhile, george n charli

a/n: first matty daughter r in awhile but 5 SEPERATE PEOPLE ASKED FOR THIS so i had to do it obvi. btw im not hating on gab she’s actually the hero of this story i will not tolerate gabbriette slander only matty slander eheheh. ty to my lovely anons who requested it makes me happy🤭

r is about 13 ish

Your dad said him and Gabby were going out to dinner while you were at your end of the year dance. It was an event for middle schoolers, nothing crazy, but they figured they’d take advantage of a couple hours to themselves by having a romantic dinner out. He said they’d be home well before you ended your night, and to just text when you got home.

“I’m home!”

You were met with no answer. You didn’t think much about it and went to your room, starting to take off your jewelry from the night.

“Hey, dancing queen.” He said, appearing in the doorway.

You smiled at his comment, looking back at him. “How was dinner?” You asked.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Good…really really good.”

You thought his response was interesting, but didn’t look to much into it, just taking off your heels from the evening.

“Where’s Gabby?” You asked.

“Bedroom. Thought i’d talk to you in private for a second.”

You turned back suddenly. “About what?” He chuckled when your face turned to worry so quickly.

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry. No one is dead.”

You smiled back, crossing your arms. “Then what is it?”

He looked down at his hands, specifically one finger.

He rarely wore new rings, always sticking to the same ones. You quickly noticed he was grazing over a new one.

One that laid on a certain finger.

You already knew your answer, but you asked anyway, “What’s that?”

He showed a coy smile, while examining the ring on his own finger. “An engagement ring.” He said, smiling.

A part of himself couldn’t believe it. You definitely couldn’t believe it either.

“You’re engaged?” You asked, voice quiet.

“Yeah,” He said, with a faded breath. “Yeah honey, I am.”

Your voice became quiet. “To Gabby?”

“Yeah.” His smile wouldn’t go away. He hasn't smiled like that in so long. A part of you wanted to take a picture of it. Another part of you wanted to wipe it off his face.

“Wow.” was all you could say at the moment.

You spoke after a second of silence. “Are you sure about this dad?”

“About what? Marrying the love of my life?”

He started to get defensive right away. “I mean, Dad, I don’t know her.” You let out a short laugh and smile, as if that should’ve been obvious. “Yeah, she’s been nothing but nice but, you haven't been dating for even a year? And now what? She’s gonna move in with us?”

You saw his face turn. “No, we’re moving in with her.” He said quickly.

You couldn’t believe it. And the fact that he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world made it harder. “Wh-what about London?”

He started to look anywhere but at you. “We’re gonna move to the states, baby.”

He can’t be serious.

You blinked at him, unsure if this was a dream. “So…I get zero say in this?”

He scoffed. “God forbid I try and give you some stability in life- a family.”

Your blood started to boil. “She’s not even old enough to be my mother.”

“Y/n Healy!”

“And what stability? My life has been a faltering mess since you’ve opened your mouth!” Your voice was now at ten, his not far behind.

“Do not talk to me like that young lady.” He stood straighter, in full authoritative dad mode.

“Don’t talk like what? Don’t tell the truth?” His eyebrow quirked. “You know full well the reason people dropped me, or the reason I had to switch friend groups is because of the stupid shit you’ve said.” He sighed, he knew you were right about that one. “Dad, it’s not that you’re getting married, it’s the fact that you didn’t even think to tell me!”

“I thought you would be happy! This is good news!”

“What about this conversation we’re having screams ‘happiness’?” You said while gesturing between the two of you.

“Oh, so you hate Gabby?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t hate Gabby- I never said I did!”

“Oh so, you just don’t want me to marry her. You don’t want me to be happy.” He started to get protective, voice full of venom.

“I never said that ethier!” You were growing tired.

“Then what is it?”

You felt that it was painfully obvious, but clearly not. “Dad, my whole life is here. My school, my only friends, my home, and you’re just gonna take that away from me in an instant? Without any warning?” He started getting angry. You kept going.

“You didn’t even think about asking me!”

“I wouldn’t have to think about asking if you weren’t here!”

And there it was. The truth. The thought you’ve been dreading to hear since the moment you found out your existence wasn’t exactly planned. The straw that broke the camels back. The words you knew were always true, but never thought you’d actually hear him say.

Your world went blurry after that. Gabbriette stormed in, yelling “Matty!”, and shielding you from your father and any other personal or verbal attacks he might make, but the truth was that he recognized his mistake right after he said it.

He promised himself, right after you were born, he would never make you feel like a mistake. A burden. He wouldn’t be one of those dads. But here he was, frozen. Standing in front of his fiancé while she hold his baby girl, sobbing, because of his words. Because he made her feel that way.

You cried into her. She held you close. Your father slowly became aware of his mistakes and what he had done. Gabbriette looked at him, still holding on tight to you. “Get out.”

He swallowed. “I didn’t mean-“

“Get out Matthew.” She said sharply.

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

It felt like the weight of the world came crashing down on your shoulders. The truth, finally free, so heavy that you couldn’t keep up anymore, you came falling down with it.

Gabby knew he didn’t entirely mean it. But, her focus was on the task at hand. And that was getting you back to feeling safe. You sobbed and sobbed into her, the cries getting more violent over time. “It’s alright, i’ve got you.” She brought you to the bed, soothing you and kissing your head gently. “I’m right here.”

—————

Matty woke up the next morning with a raging headache. He turned to find his fiancé’s side of the bed empty and cold. He sighed.

The knocks wouldn’t stop. He begrudgingly leapt out of bed and to the front door. When he opened the door he was met with Charli and George, standing side by side. Both still in lounge clothes but Charli wide awake, compared to George who looked half asleep.

“What did you do to your daughter now?” She asked, crossing her hands over her chest, voice full of power.

Matty tried rubbing his eyes awake, but it was no use. “What?” he asked, voice full of sleep.

Charli ignored him and flew past him through the house. “You think my kid was really capable of keeping her mouth shut? Baby?! Auntie Charli is here!!!”

George, still in his sleepy state, met his friend, closing the door behind him. “What did you do man?”

Matty sighed, putting his hands over his eyes to block out the peaks of sun coming in as he made his way to the living room. “I messed up.”

George rolled his eyes, “Well clearly because Charli wouldn’t wake me at 7am if it wasn’t important.”

Matty groaned and leaned back. “How did she even know?”

George shrugged, “Your girl must’ve texted ours.” Matty hummed. “She swore to y/n she wouldn’t tell us, but she was worried about what you said to her. Came crying to us this morning.”

George patted him on the shoulder and started to leave the room. “I’m making coffee. Go put pants on and then tell me what happened.”

—————

earlier that morningr - 4am

You only left your bed once after the fight and it was only to change out of your dress from the dance and into pjs Gabbriette gathered for you after much convincing that you’d be more comfortable.

She brushed your hair back and into a ponytail. When she tried to leave after you finally settled, you begged her in your sleepy state to stay.

So she did.

Come 4 am, you were wide awake. Unable to get your fathers words out of your mind. “Are you awake?” You said.

“Yeah.” She said.

It took you a second but she spoke. “I’m sorry, Gabby.”

She opens her eyes and turned to face you, grabbing your face softly with one hand in the process. “You have nothing to apologize for, y/n-”

You started crying at the gesture. “I don’t hate you! I swear I don’t! He’s lying-“

She shushed you. “I know you don’t, sweet girl. He’s just trying to get in your head after everything.”

You slowly nodded and she sighed. “You need to know that you did nothing wrong. Ever.”

Your cries turned to sniffles. “Yes I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I existed?”

She knew this is how you really felt, and it hurt her so much to realize that the person who was supposed to be the love of her life did this to his own daughter. He made you feel this way. Nothing or no one else. “Honey, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is. He said it!”

“Well what he said was wrong.” She said frim, yet caring. “No doubt about it.”

The sniffles slowly softened even more over time. After a minute or two in comfortable silence, you spoke. “I hope you still love him though.”

She laughed, not expecting your honest remark. “Unfortunately, I still do. With all my heart.” She didn’t miss the smile that danced on your lips. “Go back to sleep. I don’t need him clouding your thoughts when you’re trying to get your beauty rest.”

You closed your eyes, snuggling closer to her, hand quickly grazing over hers in the process. “Damn girl, that’s a big fucking rock.” You said.

She laughed and smiled.

—————

She explained everything to Chali when she woke them up the next morning. You hid in the bed, crying. You had thought so but she did confirm that she was eavesdropping the entire time. You didn’t mind though. She had your back and that was all that matters.

—————

Matty sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the framed picture he held in his hands. Your bright, innocent smile seemed to mock him, reminding him of the days when you would run into his arms after school, eager to share every detail of your day, no matter how mundane it was.

He thought about how you stood by him, through it all. It didn’t matter if it was family issues, band drama, or even his drug addiction. He loved the fact he didn’t have to pretend to be someone for you, not a rockstar, a perfect son or friend, just Dad, your Dad. And for a very very very long time, that was all you needed.

The house felt colder, quieter. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, and stood up.

It was time. Gabbriette had left for some errands earlier that morning, making a point to look your father dead in the eyes and telling him to ‘man up and do it.’ Truthfully, he couldn’t let another day pass without trying to bridge the gap between the two of you. With determined steps, he walked down the hallway to your room. He knocked gently on the door, the sound echoing louder than he anticipated in the silent house. “Baby? Can we talk?” he called, his voice wavering slightly. No response. He knocked again, a little louder this time.

“Baby girl, please. I just want to talk.”

Still nothing. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the door. “I’m coming in,” he said softly, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

You were sitting at your desk, your back to him, headphones on, absorbed in a sketchpad. Your long curly hair, nearly identical to the ones Matty used to embrace, cascaded down your back, slightly hiding your face from him. He took a step inside, the creak of the floorboard announcing his presence.

“Y/n?” he tried again, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t turn around. He could see your shoulders tense, though, and he knew you heard him. Guilt twisted in his stomach, but he pressed on.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. For everything.”

There was a flicker of movement; you paused your drawing but didn’t remove your headphones. Matty felt a pang of desperation.

“I know I’ve made mistakes. Big ones. And I know I’ve hurt you,” he continued, his voice cracking. “I was so caught up in my own problems that I didn’t see how it was affecting you. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

He watched as your hand gripped the pencil tighter. It was a small reaction, but it was something. He took another step closer, now standing just a few feet behind you.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I miss our talks, our laughs. I miss my daughter.”

Slowly, you reached up and removed your headphones, placing them carefully on the desk. You didn’t turn to face him, but your silence spoke volumes. Matty took it as an invitation to continue.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. Or even talk to me. I just… I just needed you to know how sorry I am.”

There was a long pause. Matty felt the weight of the silence pressing down on him, each second stretching into an eternity. He opened his mouth to say something else but then closed it, unsure of what more he could add.

Finally, you spoke, voice barely a whisper. “You can’t just say sorry and expect everything to be okay.”

Your words, though quiet, felt like a punch to his gut. He nodded, though you couldn’t see him. “I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I know.”

“It’s not that simple, Dad,” Your voice broke slightly. “You hurt me. A lot.”

He felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I know I did. And I hate myself for it. But I love you, darling. More than anything in the world. You know that.”

You finally turned around, eyes red and filled with tears. You looked at him for a long moment, searching his face for something—truth, perhaps, or sincerity. Your dad held his breath, afraid to move, afraid to break whatever fragile connection you had in that moment.

“You said you regret having me,” you said, voice trembling. “That you wished I wasn’t here- How do you expect me to forgive that?”

His heart shattered at your words. He knelt down beside your chair, looking up at you. “Darling, I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was overwhelmed and stressed, and I lashed out in the worst possible way. I didn’t mean it. Not for a second.”

You looked up, blinking away the tears streaming down your face. “But you said it. You can’t just take it back.”

“I know,” he said, voice breaking. “I know I can’t. But please believe me when I say I didn’t mean it. I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Matty felt desperation clawing at him. “I’ve been a terrible father, y/n. I let my own problems cloud my judgment. But I want to change. I need to change. For you. For us. That’s why maybe this whole engagement thing isn’t a bad idea?”

You sniffled again, giving a serious look, “I don’t hate Gabby.”

He sighed, “I know you don’t-“

“You really hurt me, Dad.” Your eyes were filled with pain and tears.

He nodded, tears streaming down his face. “I know, sweetheart. And I’m so, so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Just… please give me a chance.”

You looked down at your work, fingers tracing the lines you’d drawn. Matty watched you, his heart aching for a sign of hope.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you said softly. “Not yet.”

Matty nodded, his heart heavy. “I understand,” he said gently. “I’m not asking you to. I just want you to know that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

You looked at him, eyes searching his face. “Do you really mean it?” you asked, voice small. “That you’re sorry?”

Matty met your gaze, his eyes filled with tears, and smiled. “With all my heart,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry, my love.”

You held his gaze for a long moment, then nodded, a single tear sliding down your cheek. “Okay,” you whispered. “We’ll see.”

Matty smiled through his tears, a small, hopeful smile. It was a start, a glimmer of hope in the darkness. And for now, that was enough.

#I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE #THX ANONSSSSSSS #the 1975 #x daughter!reader #matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty healy x daughter!reader #matty the 1975 #matty x reader #george daniel

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popeabbot · 5 months ago

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hii curious about evil in bed & the devils angel😏

Evil in bed

“I could’ve handled those assholes myself.” You huffed as you and your stranger stumbled through the streets.

“No darlin,” he grunted holding his bleeding side. “Not when that asshole had a gun.”

A biker grabbing your ass in the middle of the diner you worked at was something in the realm of possibilities. Your favorite regular, whom you knew nothing about, dragging him out and getting shot while beating him senseless was not. So now the two of you stumbled through the streets to your apartment because he was insistent on no hospitals. You were almost to your door when your elderly neighbor, Mrs. Dabney, stepped out.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?” She poked her head out and you could feel his body tense against you. You motioned to him to keep quiet.

“Oh yes Mrs. Dabney I’m perfectly fine, just had a big package I had to lug up the stairs. Have a good night!” You unlocked the door and pushed your stranger inside. “She’s blind, she could probably smell you but I’ll think of something.”

He stood awkwardly in your studio apartment, not wanting to get blood anywhere. After grabbing your medical kit, you directed him to the bathroom.

“Shirt off.”

“Hey now sweetheart at least buy my dinner first,” he laughed before grunting at the pain in his side. You didn’t laugh like you normally would, you shot him an insistent look and his shirt hit the bathroom floor almost immediately. You stopped for just a second to take in what was in front of you. His cap was off so you could take in his perfectly chisled face, his nose had been broken multiple times but it added to his charm. His chest was…equally sculpted. Like a Greek god. His abs rippled as he tensed with every breath, for a moment you’d forgotten he’d been shot.

“Don’t care if you drool darlin just get it done,” he smiled through grit teeth. You snapped out of your daze, running to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of whiskey before coming back to the bathroom.

“Drink.” You lifted the bottle to his lips and he gratefully took it from you. You pulled your hair up, washed your hands and got some gloves before kneeling down, resting your arm on his inner thigh. “This is pretty nasty, I’ll try to be fast.”

He said nothing as you tried to work quickly to clean around the wound. It hadn’t been a clear shot, and there was no exit wound. Not an ideal situation for any party involved. You tried your best to feel for the bullet but as he was sitting upright you didn’t have the angle you needed.

“Hey- wait what’s your name anyways? I’ve asked but you’re always so mysterious at the diner.”

“Frank.” He grunted, taking another swig of whiskey. “Castle.” He breathed out.

“Well Frankie, I need you to move your hips more to me, I can’t feel for the bullet at this angle. He nodded and slid his hips closer to you, until you were practically resting against his hip bone. You had to drown out the groans and hisses that would escape his lips as you worked. How could you focus when he was so close, and so caring and fucking hot. It was going to be hard to keep him out of your bed tonight.

_________________________________________

The Devils Angel

“Matt?!” The sight of seeing him in the doorway made your blood run cold. Sure patrol nights could be hard but, he’d never come in this bad. You threw the sheets off of you and rushed to him, right as he fell into you. You couldn’t help but groan under the weight of his suit, but you thanked God every day that it kept him alive.

You stumbled to the couch and laid him down gently, softly shushing his groans. Straddling his lap, you began to peel his suit off.

“Oh Matty,” you sighed as your fingers brushed over the ugly bruising on his cheek and lips. He kissed your fingers assuring you he was okay. “What happened? It’s been a while since you came home this bad.” You looked into his eyes, hoping the answer would be hiding somewhere in them.

“Just got a little outnumbered is all, you should see the other guys.” He softly laughed, though his eyes crinkled at the smile there was no emotion behind them. You frowned at this answer, you hated when Matt Murdock hid the truth from you. And he knew it too.

“So I willingly patch up the devil of Hell’s Kitchen every night and that’s all I get?”

Matt’s smile grew wide as he leaned closer, peppering kisses across your jaw, neck and shoulder blades and you worked the top half of his suit off. A sigh of relief escaped as you saw that he wouldn’t need any stitches tonight. However, his left ribcage was painted a concerning blue and purple. You grazed his side causing him to flinch instantly.

“How many are broken?”

“At least 3…maybe 4” he grimaced at the smallest touches you placed to his chest. Your frown deepened at the sight of each scar, each healing bruise that was covered by a newer, uglier one. You would never say it to his face but you hated Daredevil with every fiber of your being. He turned your boyfriend into something ugly, even if it was in the name of doing good it was an ugly thing. You caressed his face with a gentle hand.

“Amore…my niece is getting christened tomorrow how are we going to fix your poor face?”

“Don’t worry Angel” he smiled into the kiss you shared. “We always think of something.” You couldn’t help but smile back as you kissed him harder. You had to love Matt has hard as you could because ultimately there could be a day he’d leave and not come back. But you pushed those thoughts aside as you led him to the bedroom to change. He was sure lucky the Devil had an angel on speed dial.

~~The daredevil one will be done soon I’m having to get used to xreader writing so bare with me but I hope you enjoy🥰🥰

@ebodebo @sceletaflores @jjenthusee @starsofang

#fanfic #frank castle #marvel mcu #frank castle x reader #frank x fem!reader #girl I’d be staring too I don’t even blame you #matt murderdock #matt Murdock x reader #daredevil #Matt is such a cutie pie omg #on my knees for both #Matt Murdock xfem!reader

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wreckedandpolemic · 5 months ago

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53 for white and gold i am actively begging you ok thx lysm

matty can always see right through you. you don’t know why you even bother trying him anymore, except that it’s so much fun. your palms are sweating as you clutch the homemade lunch you’d brought him, your thighs press uncomfortably together as his voice rings out from behind the closed door of his office. he’s shouting, angry in a way you’ve almost never heard, and you can hear hands slamming against his desk as his voice raises and raises.

finally, the door bursts open, and a middle-aged man clearly near tears stumbles out. and don’t ever let me see your fucking face again, matty snaps, a furious scowl etched on his face that makes you weak in the knees. he’s so livid that he barely takes in his surroundings, doesn’t notice you until his assistant says your wife is here, in her nasally, disinterested drawl.

matty’s demeanour changes instantly. hi, darling, he grins. sorry you had to see that, he adds, ushering you into his office. it’s hard not to remember all the times he’s bent you over this very desk. you try to think of something appropriate to say as you pass him the food, but the way your gaze fixes on his hands, his lips, the muscles of his throat is a dead giveaway. are you turned on right now, princess?

your thighs stick to your chair and you must be blushing to the tips of your ears. no, you lie anyway.

liar.

you pout. well, whose fault is it that i get soaked when you’re mean? you tease, thighs clenching - you know you’re playing a dangerous game. matty grins wickedly. is there something you want, princess?

think you should spank me for bein’ so dirty, daddy, you murmur, and matty’s eyes blow wide as he shoves the debris off his desk. such a little slut. c’mere, baby, bend over for daddy, yeah? obediently, you do, shoving your panties to the floor and grinding back against him. god, you’re so impatient, he groans. gotta get you ready f’me first, okay? you nod, whine out a plea.

before you’ve even finished speaking, matty’s hand comes down hard against your ass. you squeal, clench with want. shut up, he hisses meanly. d’you think i want the whole world knowin’ what a fucking whore my wife is?

he grabs your jaw punishingly. no, daddy, you say softly. m’sorry. you bite your tongue hard as he slaps you again, preening when matty praises your silence. there’s my good girl. you love this, huh? takin’ it so well. just stay nice and quiet for daddy, okay? y’gonna take it for as long as i want.

#i’m ovulating if u couldn’t tell #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #writing #smut #blurb #white and gold #toomuchracket #smut prompt fills

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lovelettersforthedamned · 1 year ago

Note

re: “congrats on 200 followers, lovely!! you deserve 100x more! could i request 8 from the angst prompt + hurt/comfort 5 ❄️❄️”

oh my gosh i didn’t even realise i forgot to put a character - suppose that’s what happens when you spend all night on tumblr 😭 tasm Peter or Matt Murdock pls <333

Priorities

--genre: angst :(

--pairing: matt murdock x gn!reader

--word count: 1.1k

--warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, arguing, matt is the king of self sabotage, angst.

i'm a sucker for some good angst omg

“He hasn’t been alright (Y/N),” Karen sighs, “when he’s here he’s on edge. I know he can hear things we can’t, but it’s like…it’s like he’s not really here.”

You’re sitting next to her at Josie’s bartop, the crowd is mellow on this rainy Wednesday night. You can tell Karen is genuinely concerned about Matt, the look in her eye tells you so. You’re running through the possible reasons why your boyfriend could be feeling this way, but you draw a blank. You furrow your eyebrows, frustrated, “He’s been quiet lately, but he never brings it up.”

The blonde in front of you takes another sip of her drink before she clears her throat, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the devil.”

You can only nod your head. You hate when Matt gets in over his head about his nightly activities, it’s hard when you can’t do anything about it, not like he lets you anyway. “I’ll keep an eye out for him the next few days,” you reach into your wallet for cash, “just keep me updated about how he is at work, okay?”

She stands with you from the seat, giving you a tight hug as you say your goodbyes, and heading home to your apartments. You can’t help but think about Matt the entire walk home, your mind taking you to dark places. It wasn’t hard to worry about him, considering the fact that he loves to push himself past the limit more often than not.

You would never tell him to stop, right?

***

For the next few days, you start to pay attention to Matt when he’s home. The first thing you notice is that he seems to always be in a rush. He’s quick to get ready for the day, and he’s quick to get ready for the night. You’re not sure where this sudden boost in drive has come from, but what Matt doesn’t realize is that the quicker he riles himself up, the harder he plummets.

You’ve gotten multiple texts from Karen during the day that Matt is blowing up on Foggy while clients are in the room. You know that something’s wrong, and you don’t know how to fix it, but you have to try.

Later that day, you caught Matt putting his suit on to go out into the city, the sun draining the light away from your apartment. As he’s about to put his helmet on, your voice interrupts his movements, “Matty, can we talk real quick?”

He sighs, already walking away from you, “I’m about to leave, can we talk later?”

“How long have you been feeling like you need to do more for the city when you do more than enough?”

Your question catches him off guard, he stops in his tracks, his back facing you. He can hear that your heart is beating faster than normal, the question making you nervous. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he responds, quickly.

You cannot help but laugh at his response, “You’re a terrible liar.”

Shaking his head out of frustration, he takes a deep breath, “You don’t need to worry about anything that I do when I’m out at night, trust me.”

“Another shitty lie, Matty,” you walk towards him. Once you reach his back, you raise your hand to hold his arm, giving it a soft squeeze. Unconsciously, he leans into your touch. You know that he’s been craving this kind of softness since he started to act differently. “You know that I still worry, even though you tell me not to. I can’t help it,” you speak softly.

And suddenly, it’s like his hard demeanor returned with a flip of a switch, “I need to get out there (Y/N),” he shrugs his arm out of your hold. You’re left there standing like an idiot in the middle of the living room as you watch your boyfriend walk away from you. You can’t help but feel angry, it’s like everything you said went through one ear and spilled out the other. Turning on your heel you walk to the closet, pulling down the suitcase, letting it slam on the floor. You don’t care.

The obvious slam caught Matt’s attention, his worries now focused on you. He hears more shuffling coming from your shared bedroom, along with sniffles. He calls out to you, before walking to you, “(Y/N)?”

He’s met with no response, just the sounds of your muffled sobs and the rustling of clothes. As he gets closer to you, he can taste the salt in the air as your tears stream down your face, and suddenly he’s panicking. “I never wanted it to get to this point,” you zip up the suitcase as you rise to your feet, Matt’s sudden appearance scaring you as you see his figure.

His eyes are darting back and forth as he tries to de-escalate the situation, yet his tone is still sharp, “What point?”

You’re still a mess, running your hand across your eyes to wipe your tears, you smear your makeup across your skin. With an uneven breath, you respond, “You’ve reached the point where you stop valuing yourself and the people around you to dig your own grave, Matthew.” You try to make your way around Matt, but he doesn’t make it easy as he holds your shoulders, keeping you in place.

“Don’t make me do this,” he says quietly, “don’t make me choose.”

You think that you’ve actually gotten through to him, you hope a sense of clarity has finally washed through his senses. Until you see his head twitch, his ear lifting towards the air. You can’t hear anything, but you know that he already has an exact location of whatever commotion is happening in the streets of Hell’s Kitchen.

With your boyfriend distracted, you shrug his hands off your shoulders, “Looks like I didn’t have to make you choose, you’ve already figured out your answer yourself.”

As you’re walking out of the bedroom and towards the front door of the apartment, Matt calls for you, “I’ll be back in a few hours, then we can talk, okay? Just–please, don’t go anywhere.”

And just like that, he slips out of the window, not even waiting for your response. Maybe Matt’s heart will never fully belong to you, and you should’ve known that when you first met him. He has always and will always dedicate himself to the city, and you’ll just have to come to terms with not being his priority. That is if you stay.

--author's note: I KNOW THAT MY 200 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION IS DONE, BUT I HAD A BURNOUT PERIOD SO HERE'S ONE LAST FIC!!! ❄️ anon this is such a good request, thank youuuu! don't forget to like, comment, and reblog to support me and your fav writers! my asks/inbox is open, so send me your juicy ideas baes...ok, bye ily<3333

#marvel #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock angst #daredevil x reader #angst #matt murdock x gn!reader #LLFTD 200 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 2 years ago

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can you make one with matt murdock where they're good friends but one night they're drinking and having fun and then the reader kiss him but when they making out he ends up saying someone else name and the reader leaves, later on they talk and reader apologizes for misreading their relationship and continue to be friends but theres tension in it until bradley finally admits that he likes her and he try to make up for all the time lost

~Friends Don't Treat Me Like You Do~

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: none really, embarrassment?? Alcohol consumption, mentions of injuries (nothing major)

Genre: mostly fluff very minor angst

Summary: You've had a crush on your friend for a very long time and when you finally make your move it goes terribly wrong; And that's why friends should sleep in other beds // and friends shouldn't kiss me like you do ... // my friends won't love me like you - Friends by Ed Sheeran

A/N: I know it's a typo of some sort but it's sending me to the moon that the name Bradley is jus thrown into this ask cuz I can't even figure out what it's replacing lmaoooo anyway thank you for requesting! I hope you like it anon! :3 (also I didn't edit this plz be nice)

***

Your friendship with Matt Murdock is in some ways rather unconventional. You've been friends for many years, but these days most of your interactions consist of him stumbling over to your apartment at odd hours covered in bruises you don't ask about- not because you don't want to know but because you're pretty certain you've guessed it and you're not sure what acknowledging it would mean. So you don't ask, instead, you give him food, and tend to his wounds, and talk to him about whatever comes to mind until he inevitably falls asleep on your couch for a few hours and sneaks out early enough to go back to his place for his day job as a defense attorney with his two friends. Both of whom you'd consider friends- although not nearly as close as you are with Matt.

Tonight Matt's invited you over to his place. Apparently, he's been feeling a bit guilty that most of the time you've spent together in recent days has been just him coming over in the middle of the night. As if you'd ever actually be annoyed with taking care of your friend. Your friend you feel for more than he can ever know. Still, he insisted you come over for dinner so you did, he ordered your favorite from a takeout place near his place and now you're eating and drinking wine you brought along with you. Well, you're drinking wine, Matt's been helping himself to the beers filling his fridge.

"Whenever you come over I do all that talking Matty so today you can do the talking this time. Tell me what you've been getting up to lately." You tell him once you've covered asking each other how your day was.

"I don't do anything interesting y/n- I go to work, spend all day reading or writing lengthy opening statements or discussing things with Foggy and our clients until ungodly hours according to Karen. Sometimes they drag me out to Josie's but- there's really nothing I 'get up to' and you know that."

"Why do you do that?" You frown.

"What?"

"Make yourself seem so dull when you're not."

"Excuse me?"

"I've known you for a long time Matt and I can't think of single period of our lives where you had nothing interesting going on and yet you always talk about yourself as if you're the color beige personified. It's like you're worried that if people think you're too interesting they'll," you trail for a moment "find out something."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing in particular. You're just way more interesting than you want people to think. For some reason."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You're not exactly an open book either."

"You got something to ask me about Matty?"

"No." He shakes his head. You stare at him for a long moment.

"We should play a game!" You announce.

"I don't really- have games?" Matt says.

"There are tons of games that don't require having anything Matt we just have to pick one."

"Like what?"

"We can play 20 questions- the right way, last letter first letter, I'm not a fan of Ghost but we can do that too, or word replacement- to name a few."

"I'm- not familiar with those besides 20 questions?"

"Well, last letter first letter you pick a category and we name items except the last letter of one item has to be the first letter of the next one so like if we're naming office supplies and I say stapler you'd say something like ruler. And Ghost is a spelling game, kinda like hot potato meets Horse the basketball game- so like you take turns spelling a word and you don't wanna be the one who finishes the word- if you do then you get a letter from the word ghost- first person to finish ghost loses. And then word replacement is just a silly game where you pick a movie or show title and change one of the words to the silliest thing you can think of." You explain quickly.

"Let's do the title one. Requires the least amount of thinking and I don't have to compete with you." He says.

"Then I'll start. Fast and Constipated." You giggle.

"Fast and Constipated!?" Matt's laugh is incredulous.

"Yeah, fast and furious but not so fun."

"Okay um- John Tucker Must... Juggle."

"That's way less fun than him dying." You laugh.

"True."

"What a Chupacabra wants."

"Goats- obviously."

"Shut up." You giggle.

"Now you- resent me 2."

"Oh that's- why would you say that?" You chuckle.

"I dunno I'm too drunk to think of movies." He mutters.

"All I've got are rom-coms in my head and those titles are not nearly as fun to fuck with. Two weeks- paleontologist?"

"Paleontologist!? What movie was that even supposed to be?"

"Two weeks notice. Duh."

"I don't think I know that one." He frowns.

"It's about a woman who ends up working as the PA for some rich businessman when she tries to protest something he's trying to build- I forget the details but he turns out to be a giant useless manchild and when he disrupts her personal life for something frivolous she tries to quit but somehow they fall in love or whatever. It's been a while since I've watched it honestly." You shrug.

"Rom-coms are such a curious collection of movies."

"True but that one is pretty average compared to some others I've seen."

"Do you watch a lot of them?"

"I like to laugh at them mostly." You say. "You know what's a weird one? The Notebook."

"Is that not like- a classic?"

"I mean yeah but like the guy gets the girl to go on a date with him by dangling off of a moving ferris wheel."

"And that works?"

"Somehow! I mean I guess she didn't wanna feel responsible for him dropping himself off the wheel in front of an audience but I dunno it seems like he was just looking for reasons to die in that movie." You explain. "Although I never finished that movie maybe he does die. Except then it wouldn't be a rom-com I guess. It would be more tragedy, like in the Shakespearean sense."

"You are always somewhere else." Matt laughs.

"Not always! Oh! I brought that CD you wanted to borrow. We should play it." You sit up suddenly and grab your backpack.

"Are you sure all you've had is that bottle of wine?" Matt asks sitting up slowly from where he's laying on the floor.

"Where's your player?" You ignore his question.

"Should be in the bookcase." He waves absentmindedly.

"Do you want another beer while I'm up?" You ask walking over to the radio to pop the CD.

"Nah. I'm good thanks." He says. Music fills the apartment, and you can't help but sing along to the upbeat tune from Matt's CD player. You dance, well mostly spin, around the apartment giggling as you go.

"Are you dancing?" Matt turns towards you with a smile on his face although you're not looking at him.

"Of course I am- I love this song. Do you wanna dance with me?" You ask walking towards him, still dancing but less now so you can get where you're going.

"No no- I'll leave the dancing to you." Matt says before you make it all the way over to where he's sitting on the floor.

"Suit yourself." You shrug but when you attempt to change directions you trip on your backpack still on the floor and go tumbling towards the ground. Matt moves quicker than you'd expect for a blind guy off several beers but his arms shoot out and yank you towards him before your head hits the hardwood.

"Careful y/n." He says softly as he settles you into his lap.

"Do I need to be if you're here?" You joke smiling at him as you toss your arms over his shoulders.

"Y/n-" Matt's tone is warning in a way only he could get away with using on you.

"Relax Matty, I know to look after myself." You say quietly. Matt frowns slightly as if he's going to protest, but you don't let him get the words out. Alcohol coursing through your system, you seize the opportunity of his closeness and kiss him before you can talk yourself out of it. Matt lets out a noise of surprise, he heard your heart rate spike sure but he couldn't have guessed this was why. His lips move against yours for a second before something catches his attention and he's gasping out a name. Except, it's not your name.

"Karen." He breathes and it reaches your ears like a bucket of ice water dumped on your head. You jerk back suddenly.

"Oh my god-" You say scrambling out of his lap. "I- I am so sorry. I'm gonna go." You grab your bag and b-line it for the exit before Matt can even get to his feet.

"H-hang on a second y/n I-"

"I'll- I'll see you around Matt." You force yourself to say before leaving his apartment. You feel sharper than the amount of wine you've had should allow as you walk the few blocks to your place. Only once you're back in the safety of your own home do you let yourself wallow over how absolutely embarrassing that was. You might have just ruined one of the most important relationships in your life only for him to call out for another girl. You stumble into the shower in hopes of washing away some of the embarrassment you feel, or at the very least distracting yourself enough that you can shelf it and get some sleep. You spend hours tossing and replaying the moment excruciatingly but eventually, exhausting wins out and you do fall asleep. The next couple of days you pretty much ignore Matt's calls and texts. You really bury yourself in work to avoid dwelling on that awful night but you know you can't dodge him forever. Evidently, two days is as much as Matt's willing to give you to do so because on day 3 of avoidance he comes knocking at your door late at night as he sometimes does.

"Look- I know you've been avoiding me and all but-"

"Whatever you're gonna say Matt no need. I'm sorry I overstepped, I- I totally misread things the other night but hey- alcohol will do that sometimes. I'm sorry. We're good though. I'm good. I just needed a minute to lick my wounds of embarrassment. Everything's fine. Come on let's see the damage tonight hm?" You lead him into your apartment ignoring the confused look on his face. You let yourself settle back into your routine with him, patching him up, giving him food, getting him up to speed on the last couple of days of your life, telling stories, and just talking until he falls asleep on your couch. You're determined to shake this stupid crush of yours off and go back to the way things have always been between you. And if you're gonna shake this crush step one is putting yourself out there. Which you do, and for the next few weeks you find yourself on dates almost every night. Tonight's date is going surprisingly well all things considered. He'd planned to take you somewhere that ended up being closed after a freak accident the other day that he didn't know about. It was around the corner from Josie's so you brought him here instead and the conversation has been well worth it- even in a place like this. The one downside is that it's Friday and Foggy and Karen usually drag Matt here for drinks on Friday. You had hoped they'd skip out on that tonight but you of course could only be so lucky. When the bell over the door rings and you turn to see Karen leading Matt into the bar with Foggy behind them you almost want to groan. Dating has been nice but seeing Karen and Matt so close is like picking a scab. You turn back to your date with a smile, intent on ignoring the trio, except of course it couldn't be that simple.

"Oh my gosh! Y/n! Hey!" Karen beams at you.

"Karen! Hi! Foggy, Matt, good to see you all." You smile.

"You didn't tell us you'd be here tonight." She says.

"Well I didn't plan on it otherwise of course I'd have let you know." You tell her. "James this is Karen and that's Foggy and Matt. They're friends of mine. They all work together we've- kind of crashed their spot tonight." You tell your date.

"Oh! Well, any friend of yours is a friend of mine. Nice to meet y'all." James shakes each of their hands. "Did you guys- wanna join us? Since it's pretty crowded in here you might not find another table."

"That's so nice of you James!" Karen says. Very nice indeed.

"I'll track down some chairs." Foggy says. You shift your seat closer to James to make room at the table since apparently they'll be joining you. You try not to pay too much attention to Matt's silence as everyone settles around the table.

"So y/n, you told James how we know you but you didn't mention how you know James. Are you guys work colleagues or something?"

"We have a mutual friend that set us up." James offers.

"Oh my gosh! We're crashing a date?! Why didn't you say so?" Karen shakes her head.

"No no no don't even worry about it, we've been here a couple of hours already. I invited you to sit with us so the night could go on." He says.

"Asking me, also would have worked." You smile.

"You guys are just the cutest." Karen sighs.

"I'm guessing this is a first date since- y/n's never mentioned you before." Matt says.

"It is. Not that I have to tell you about every guy I see." You say.

"You tell me everything." He scoffs.

"That's not true and even if it were that doesn't change the fact that I don't have to."

"So you keep things from me?"

"Am I missing something?" James chuckles.

"Matt and y/n have been friends since they were teenagers. They fight like they're siblings sometimes." Foggy explains.

"Sorry about that James. Matt's just-"

"Like a brother- I get it. I have siblings so I definitely know what it's like." He nods.

"Exactly." You smile.

"Like a brother." Matt quirks an eyebrow at you.

"As good a way as any to describe us." You nod. Matt hums and raises his glass to his lips without another word. The five of you sit and talk over drinks for another hour before you're ready to leave and James is happy to walk you out.

"I had a lot of fun tonight." He tells you.

"Even with the date crashers?" You ask with a goofy grimace.

"Heck yeah! Your friends are great." He laughs. "Next time I'll have my friends crash us. How about that?"

"Next time?"

"If you're willing. I'd really like to see you again."

"I- I'd like that." You nod.

"Cool. I'll- start coming up with second date ideas."

"Hopefully this time the place you pick doesn't impromptu have an incident." You laugh.

"I will quadruple check." He tells you. When you reach your block, but not your building, you stop and turn to him.

"Sounds good. I'll see you around James." You smile. He leans forward and kisses your cheek softly.

"Goodnight y/n." He says and walks away. You make it up to your apartment, kick off your shoes, and take a long shower. You enjoyed talking to James and you actually are interested in seeing him again for sure. Soon you're showered and pajamaed and pretty much ready for bed but before you can flop into it there's a knock at your door. Who could be knocking on your door right now? A quick check shows you it's Matt standing in your hallway.

"Matthew?" You open the door with a frown.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Well- right now I'm wondering what you're doing in my apartment."

"Like a brother to you?! Seriously? Last time I checked most people don't make out with their brothers."

"Depends on where you are I suppose." You shrug. "But regardless Matt that was a mistake we both know that." You shake your head.

"A mistake? Is that how you feel about it?"

"How I- I'm sorry did you forget calling out Karen's name while I was kissing you?! Cuz I've been trying to so if you've got tips to share on how that'd be great."

"Goddammit y/n." He sighs dropping his head.

"Matt you really should go. I know you worry or whatever but- James is, nice and it's late I'd like to go to bed."

"Screw James." Matt scoffs.

"Um- it was only our first date- you're skipping a few steps."

"That is not what I- it's like you do this on purpose."

"What are you doing here Matt?" You sigh.

"I don't like you dating him. I don't like you dating anyone for that matter. How could you kiss me like that and just... move on like nothing?"

"I dunno it's pretty easy when you call me the wrong name." You say.

"That was not what you think."

"I'm sure."

"It wasn't y/n. I'm serious. I could-" Matt stops and lets out a breath. "I'm Daredevil." He says.

"I know." You nod.

"What? You know?"

"You come in here at the witching hour every few days covered in bruises Matt how many explanations could there possibly be for that?" You roll your eyes.

"You never asked."

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready." You shrug. "Why tell me now?"

"Since I can't see- my other senses make up for the loss. They're like- very developed. I heard Karen scream somewhere in Hell's Kitchen, she sounded like she was in trouble that's- that's why I called out her name. I thought maybe one of Daredevil's many enemies managed to connect her to me. It wouldn't be the first time, I'm always listening for her and Foggy these days and I just-"

"Well was she in danger?" You ask.

"Nightmare." He mutters. "But by the time I pieced that together you were gone."

"Of course I was. Having a man say someone else's name when you kiss him is not something that encourages-" Matt cuts off your snarky remark by cupping your face in his hands and kissing you. You react quickly, kissing him back, your hands wrapping around his wrists. By the time you pull away from him, you're breathing heavily.

"I'm in love with you. I have been for as long as I can remember. I'm sorry I wasn't clear about it." He says.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Well in my defense I've spent the last few weeks trying to get over you-" Matt kisses you again, hard, possessive, fiery.

"Don't." He says.

"Obviously." You grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him again. You spent years thinking you'd never get to kiss him, now that you know the truth you fully intend to take advantage and Matt has years of pining he wants to make up for.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil fluff #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil #requests

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tillthelandslide · 1 year ago

Text

I love you, don't you mind? - Matty Healy One Shot

A/n: hello 👋🏼 this week had be one of the best weeks of my life. I've met some of my friends on here irl for the first time and seen my boys twice and been so close to Ross and Matty (still recovering btw). Safe to say all this happiness has inspired me and I started writing again (about time right?). Anyway here's something I wrote Sunday after seeing @poisonmedaddy13 @achangeofheartx.

I don't really know what this is but I wrote something 🤣 hope you enjoy

Warnings: mentions of cheating

He calls in the middle of the night, or it's the middle of the night where she is. He knows her better than anyone, which is why he knows it's okay to call her at this time.

He's leaning against the tour bus, cigarette threaded between his lips as he inhales. The phone rings four times before she picks up and he can hear rustling on her side of the line. He knows better than to think he woke her up, or to think the noise is her stirring in her bed. Knowing her she's probably in her living room with a thick blanket covering her frame, adorning one of his hoodies, glasses resting on the tip of her nose and a book in her hands.

He misses watching her read, loving the way even now, as an adult, her red manicured fingernails would skim the pages, following the words as her mouth moved, reading the words to herself silently. He missed it even more when he thought back to how she looked in those moments, hair askew on her head, post-fuck glaze on her skin, adorning nothing but his white shirt, two buttons done up, barely covering her form.

"Ello love, didn't wake you did I?" He asks, his tongue resting against the inside of his cheek after his words, smirking to himself.

"What do you want Matty?" Her words aren't harsh, just direct, but they still sting a little.

"can't I just call you and check in?" He asks and he hears her chuckle, and then another rustle on the end of the line. She sighs and Matty hears her put something down, probably her book. He's tempted to FaceTime her but it was too risky. He didn't want anyone knowing who he was talking to if they were to come out from the bus. But he can't deny how badly he wants to see her.

"Matthew" she warns.

"I miss you" he finally admits "like I really miss you..." She sighs again and it makes him frown.

"Where are you right now?" She asks. He hates that she doesn't tell him she misses him too, he hates that she just ignores his words.

"Glasgow" he admits "London in two days..." The pin drops for her and she frowns.

"You know you can't see me Matty" his heart breaks at that.

"Why love? I really miss you" he hasn't seen her since the bands little break and even then their time together was fleeting. Matty had to squeeze her in somewhere but balancing her and his girlfriend was difficult. Deep down he knew if he could have it his way, there would be no girlfriend.

He felt awful admitting that. Truly awful. It was complicated. He had tried to explain it to George once when he asked. It had tried to explain that she was the one that got away (despite the fact he still had her, just not in the way he truly wanted), that she was it for him but he had always convinced himself that he wasn't it for her. That doubt plagued his life and consequently stopped their affair from progressing, mainly because he was in fact, already in a relationship.

"Is she with you?" She asks and Matty frowns. From where y/n sits, she plays with the hem of her (his) jumper, it doesn't smell like him anymore but it still brings her comfort. She does miss him, more than anything. She loved him, truly truly loved him. But she too had her doubts, she believed if he loved her, he wouldn't have entertained another woman, wouldn't be in a relationship.

"No..." He admits. She's silent for a few moments, she knew the answer before she even asked.

"Maybe you should think about who you really miss" she says, her voice is sad and he hates that. Really hates that.

"What do you mean love? Do you not want to see me?" He asks, deflecting from what she was insinuating. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

"You know I do Matty but that's not the point... I'm not the one you miss Matty, you're just projecting" she explains and Matty sighs, taking a long inhale of his cigarette before dropping it to the floor.

"Don't do all that therapist shit on me Y/n. I think I know who I miss thank you very much" he says, his voice clearly laced with annoyance.

"Matty..."

"what?!" He snaps.

"If you don't miss her... And it's me who you miss, why are you still with her?" She asks and Matty takes a few seconds to reply and when he does he only stutters, an answer not coming when he wants it to.

"Exactly Matty..."

"Love please"

"No Matty... Look I better go, it's late and I'm tired" she lies "good luck with the shows Matty, you'll smash it, as always" he hears the smile in her voice and his heartbeat doubles tenfold.

"Will you be there? At one of the shows?" He asks.

"I don't think that's such a good idea Matty"

The couple had been arguing all day, the band didn't know the reasons why but they had their suspicions. They all knew Matty's feelings towards Y/n, he was obsessed with her ever since she stepped foot in their lives. They all loved her dearly but Matty's feelings had always been different. He always mentioned that he'd never love anyone like he loved her. Of course that didn't stop him from being with other people.

No one knew of their secret affair... Until now.

His girlfriend had her suspicions ever since they started dating, and she feels stupid now, believing him at the start when he said nothing was going on between them.

He stands here now, backstage, eyes trained on Y/n's who stands next to George and Charli. George's hand is resting around her shoulders casually and she smiles up at the drummer.

She said she wouldn't be at the show, but here she was. Looking as beautiful as ever. She catches his eyes and smiles at him. He missed the way his heart ran at a thousand miles a minute every time he looked at her and the way his line of vision somehow managed to find her every time she was in a room.

She really tried resisting being here but when one Ross MacDonald and one George Daniel kept begging her to come, she found it extremely hard to say no. What eventually caused her to break was a phone call from Adam.

"It's our last show in London Y/n... I'm afraid Matty might kill someone if his best friend doesn't show up" she felt immediately guilty, not only for letting her 'best friend' down, but also for the fact she had been lying to the guys for so long. Keeping this massive secret from them.

She also felt guilty for the girl clinging to Matty's arm. She was lovely, the fans loved her and she was deserving of Matty. How could she do this to her?

Her eyes flick between Matty and Y/n before she turns from them, walking in the opposite direction. Matty doesn't notice at first, too concentrated on Y/n. A nod of her head from y/n in the direction his girlfriend has just gone causes him to realise. And he reluctantly follows.

He meets her in some hallway somewhere, she's pacing, her eyes are glazed over slightly and he knows he's in trouble then.

"Hey what's up?" He asks, hand finding her shoulder but she flinches away.

"you know when we first started dating, I knew you liked her... But I ignored it" she laughs then before she continues "I thought it didn't matter, it was just a crush and you might like me more" she blinks but no tears fall.

"I was so stupid" she says.

"What are you talking about love?" He says.

"you and her!! I know you've been cheating on me with her okay? But I ignored it, because I thought it was just fucking, I didn't realise...." She halts.

Matty stands there speechless, not knowing what to say. She knew? How did she know?

"You're in love with her aren't you?" She asks, coming to stand right in front of him, one hand resting against his face. Her grasp is gentle, not that he deserves it.

He loves Y/n more than anything in the world, more than anyone. It doesn't excuse his infidelity, nothing would. But he loves her. He's known he's loved her for as long as he's known her.

He nods, one simply gesture that makes her back away.

"Why did you start this" she gestures between them "if you were in love with her"

"Because I thought you might be the one who would make me forget her" he says, it's a sad truth and it hurts her but at least she was being honest.

"and?" She can sense there's more.

"And... Because I knew that although I loved her... She didn't love me back, not in the way I loved her"

"god Matty..." She steps forward again and places her hands against his face softly. Her black manicured fingertip grazes his mouth and she smiles. She was being far too kind to him, he didn't deserve this.

"You can be so stupid some times" she says.

"What do you mean?"

"have you ever asked her how she feels?" He shakes his head "and has she ever told you that she doesn't love you?" He shakes his head again.

"Then maybe you should ask her" she leans forward slightly, pressing her lips to his once in a brief kiss.

"Bye Matty... I hope she makes you happy, you deserve it" how can she say that he deserves it? He just admitted to cheating on her and being in love with another girl? He definitely didn't feel like he deserved it.

She begins to walk away but he takes her arm in his hand gently, halting her movements.

"I'm so sorry" he says sincerely. She doesn't say it's okay, because it's not, it's far from it. But she smiles.

"Just make it worth it Matty... Don't coward out. Go tell her"

He manages to get through the show without messing up. He manages to forget about it all for the performance, giving the audience the show they deserved. One worthy of the last one for a while.

She's there when he leaves the stage, she's hesitant to hug him but when she does he grips on tightly.

"that was amazing Matty... Really truly amazing" she says, pulling back to smile at him.

"hey can I talk to you for a moment?" He asks and she raises her eyebrows and shakes her head.

"not for that... I really need to talk to you" he says. She looks worried and he shakes his head. Intertwining their hands and gently pulling her into a room somewhere.

"What's up?" She says as she walks into a room, she turns to find him pressed against her front, hands coming to rest against the wall on either side of her head, knowing she'd would try to escape if he didn't do this.

"do you love me?" He asks.

"Matty what? Let's not do this please, your girlfriend is here" she argues.

"No she's not, and she's not my girlfriend. Now answer my question, do you love me?" She's speechless, mouth falling agape. It's a lot to take in and she really has to force the smile away at the news. She felt horrible for that.

"Did you break up?" She asks and Matty nods.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with someone else" he says, smiling down at her.

"Matty..."

"Tell me you love me" he says, leaning forward until their lips graze.

"You know I do Matty... But we don't deserve this... We were horrible to her Matty. I never thought I would be that person... The other woman"

"you're not the other woman though Y/n. You're the woman, always have been. I wouldn't have ever been with her... Or anyone else if I knew you loved me" he admits and she frowns.

"I love you Matty, so much. But I can't do this I'm sorry" she says, ducking under his arm until she's free from him. He spins though, quicker than her, grasping her until she's on his embrace again.

"no I'm not letting it end like this. I love you y/n, so much. You're it for me okay? Always have been, and I'm sorry I made such a mess of things. And I'm sorry I put you in an awful position. But I can't let you go, I just can't. I'll break if you leave here tonight and you're mine. I'll break y/n" his words are rushed but she catches every single one of them. She sighs, she knew she didn't deserve this, didn't deserve him, but her body fails her and she leans forwards.

She has to crane her head slightly to reach him, gently pressing their lips together. It takes him a moment to react, just one brief moment before his lips are pressing back against hers. She feels a tear coat her cheek and she pulls back when she realises it's not hers.

Her eyes hover over his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks. She places a hand against his face, thumb gently swiping at his cheek.

"Matty why are you crying?" She asks, noticing the way he was smiling too. He grips her tighter and places another brief kiss to her mouth.

"I'm just happy... I have wanted you entirely... For so long. And I'm sorry I made a mess of everything. I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had just told you from the start, because I've always loved you Y/n and I always will" his words make her smile.

"I love you too Matty" she leans forward again and they kiss until their lips are swollen and their breaths are bated, and until they're not sure where one begins and one ends.

Sometimes they think back to that day and the days that preceded them. They think back to how they hurt people along the way. But love isn't easy, love is messy and unkind. But it's also beautiful. It can be pure and it can cure the hearts of broken souls. She cured Matty's heart, she brought the light into his life, little rays here and there until it flooded in. She made him better.

They often wonder whether they were truly deserving of a love so strong. When they announced their engagement to the world, they got a message from Matty's ex, "proud of you Matty" it read "you got the girl of your dreams". He often wonders what he did for her to be so nice to him after everything that happened. One thing they know for certain, they wouldn't change it for the world.

For he had her, really had her. And he loved her, more than anything in the world.

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @maybeiwouldlikeyou @at-her-very-foreign @not-alien-girl-v @sinarainbows (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

#matty healy one shot #the 1975 #matty healy #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fluff #matty healy fic #matty healy x yn #matty healy x reader #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year ago

Text

Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Chapter 9- “I Know A Place…”

A/N: the penultimate chapter. I hope you like it but let me know what you think either way.

Warnings: mostly smut I think. Scenes strung together with a loose thread of plot. Some mentions of mental illness but nothing too detailed?

———

“What do you mean?” Matty frowned, stepping aside to let her into the room.

“What happened to your guitar, Matty? I haven’t seen you play it in a while.” She crossed her arms as she spoke.

He could tell that her tone was accusatory. Clearly, she must know something. But unless he can somehow find out what she knows, he has no idea how to respond.

“To be fair….” He turned around, not wanting to look her in the eyes as he lies to her. “I haven’t played that thing onstage in— fuck, maybe seven years now!” He walked into the living room space and Amelia followed closely behind.

“Yeah, but you always have it around. When you’re writing, when you’re doing work for other people…you always inevitably circle back to it.”

Ordinarily, Matty would feel touched and excited by how well she knew him, but at the moment, their intimacy made it difficult to lie to her. His efforts to deflect were not yielding the results that he’d hoped for. He began to pace nervously around the room. “What’s this ab-bout, anyway?” his voice cracked, momentarily, but he regained control of the calm pretense. “ Do you, like, need a guitar? I could recommend a few instruments if you tell me what you need it for.”

“Oh for fucks sakes!” Amelia sighed, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. She couldn’t believe the nerve on him. The fact that he was willing to feign ignorance disappointed her. But she wasn’t sure if the she was disappointed in him for trying to lie, or in herself for thinking that he wouldn’t. “why’d you give it up?” She asked, bluntly. “Why did you give that guitar to Marcus Fontana? And why’d you keep it from me? Why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”

Oh, fuck. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I- erm, he- wanted it. And…I wanted something from him. Seemed like a f- fair trade?” That was the truth. As vaguely put as possible. But still truthful.

“You gave it up to get Joshua and I into the event, didnt you?” Amelia was overcome with emotion as she spoke. “Don’t lie to me, Matty. I already know.” She paused, on the verge of tears, taking deep breaths. “He mentioned something about it when we saw him. I knew right away, but….it seemed impossible. Too grand a gesture. You love that thing more than you love some real people that you know in your personal life. You wouldn’t just do that for a stupid exhibit.” She shook her head, as if objecting to what he’d done. “But, I just talked to Joshua. You did do it, didn’t you? You gave your guitar up for-“

“For you.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think to stop himself. And now that they were out there, he felt immediately terrified. The silence scared him more than anything. The longer it went on, the more significant and dramatic his confession became. He needed to say something. Anything at all to make this moment pass.

“Is that what you came here to hear me say? That I gave it up for you? Fucks sakes! Alright. I gave it up for you. I- I- I gave up my guitar, one of a handful of my prized material possessions, so that you could go to this thing that you were dying to go to. So that you could have the experience, and meet the artists, and see the art that you have always loved and wanted to be in the presence of. There! I’ve said it. Happy now?”

Matty felt his legs begin to shake as he stood there, so he resumed his pacing to hide the fact that his knees were barely holding him up.

“W-why?”

“What’d you mean why?” He stopped again? in the middle of the room, turning to look at her with furrowed brows. A look that she was more than familiar with. Usually, it’s the look he would have on his face right before calling something, or someone, ‘stupid’ or ‘a fuckin dickhead.’ “‘Why?’” He scoffed. “Because I love you, Amelia.”

“No-“

“Because I fuckin love you. I’m in love with you and I would do anything for you. To see you smile. To know that you’re-“

“No, no. Stop.” Amelia shook her head repeatedly as he spoke. “No, no, no. Stop….stop it. Just- stop talking!”

Of all the ways that Matty has fantasized about confessing how he feels, the many scenarios that he ran in his head time and time again, he never once imagined her response to be “no.” It seemed improvable at the time. Now that it was happening, it felt like a huge oversight.

“You don’t love me!” She yelled, her eyes welling up with tears. “You don’t. Surely, you don’t. Surely you haven’t….felt that way about me and kept it from me. Letting me date other people. Letting me think that- that how I felt about you was unreciprocated, something that I needed to get over to save our friendship.”

Matty took a few steps towards her. “Amelia, it’s not like that at all-“

“Isn’t it? Really? Since- since when?” She stepped back the closer that he got to her.

“What?”

“Since when? How long have you felt this way?”

“Does it really matter? Love isn’t….its not something you can measure-“

“You’re not going to Matty your way out of this one. So just- just stop. Answer me. How long?”

“I- don’t know.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I can pinpoint a moment where I went from liking you as a friend to-“

Her eye rolls told him that he’d be better off not finished that thought. He considered her question a moment, in a genuine attempt to respond.

“Since we first slept together.”

“That’s was…” she paused, trying to count the time in her head.

Matty, of course, already knew the answer. “Ten months and two weeks.” He stated.

The confirmation overwhelmed her. Tears finally spilled from her eyes. This was vindication. This was proof, that this whole time, it wasn’t all in her head. The subtle touches, catches in his voice, the way he looked at her sometimes, whenever he thought she wasn’t looking, these ephemeral, impossible things that had, up until Matty, only existed in romance novels; they were all real. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t projecting her own unrequited love for him onto their interactions. But this was also frustration. Betrayal. The worst lie of omission.

“So you lied to me.” She shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. “You- you lied to me and you humiliated me. When I told you I loved you….you did every thing that you could to make it clear I was a hysterical hormonal little girl. Orgasm-drunk and confusing lust for love. I literally asked you to look into my eyes and tell me the truth and you lied through your teeth.”

Matty was shocked by the conversation that he found himself having. Was this a nightmare? How does him finally telling her how he feels turn into this. “No, no, no! I didn’t lie! I-“

“Even after you did all that…” she laughed in disbelief, “I came crawling back to you. I, I fell for it all over again. The whole ‘we’re just friends who sleep together’ act. Fuck- I’m such an idiot.”

“There was no crawling! You’re not an idiot!”

“Oh yes there was. There was. I was going to break up with Joshua for you. I told you I’d do it and you said no. And it’s my fault for letting you.”

Matty lunged forward placing his hands on her shoulders, looking into her tearful eyes. “Amelia,

Listen to me-“

“Don’t touch me!” She backed away, out of his grasp. “You claim you love me. I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” She placed her hand on the door knob. Looking back at him, unable to recognize the person standing in front of her. “You let me go on believing things that weren’t true. Every moment that we’ve spent together as friends, you were feeling something else. Was any of it ever genuine or ….”

“Amelia, wait. Please don’t leave. Stay. Let me explain!”

“Save your breath.” She turned around, opened the door, and walked out without looking back.

***

Amelia swiped her keycard, her hotel room door blinked a green light, indicating that she’d successfully unlocked it. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and remain there for the rest of her life. In fact, with tear stains still on her cheeks, she was mentally drafting the contents of the text that she was going to send Tobias and Patricia to let them know that she wouldn’t be joining them for work today.

“Oh my god, Joshua!” She yelped, nearly startled as she walked into the room.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” He said, zipping up one of his suitcases.

“Wait, what?”

“I didn’t wanna make this awkward. I was counting on you being with Matty right now. Thought I’d pack and leave while you were out.”

“No, no! Don’t be ridiculous. You stay. I’ll get a different room.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s okay. I’ve already started packing.”

She walked over to him, placing her hand over his to stop him. “Please. It’s the least I can do.”

Joshua never could say no to her. Relenting, he smiled and nodded. “Fair enough. You did cheat on me.” He couldn’t help himself. “Sorry. Regretted that as soon as I heard myself say it. I’ll ummm….find a flight out soon. Just need a couple of days to get my shit together.”

Amelia looked down at her shoes.

“ I know I have no right to say this, but, I’m gonna miss you.”

Joshua chuckled. “No you won’t. You and Matty will get so wrapped up in each other that you’ll forget about my existence as soon as I’m outta here” he walked over to the coffee station and poured some water into the coffee machine.“Which is how it should’ve been in the first place. What are you doing back here, anyway? Why aren’t you gazing into Matty’s eyes right now?”

Amelia sat at the edge of the bed that they once shared, her head hanging low. “Not sure I wanna gaze into his eyes ever again.” She mumbled, just clearly enough for Joshua to hear.

“What? You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“Joshua, please-“

“Woman! We broke up so you could ride off into the sunset with him. Not- not whatever this is!” He threw his hands up in the air in frustrated. “I swear to god…..”

“He lied to me, Joshua! He- I can’t trust him. He kept things from me. He had every chance to tell me. Every time that we were alone he could’ve brought it up and he chose not to. That’s not the behavior of someone who wants to be with me.”

“Yeah, I won’t comment on the cheating cuz….what I have to say is unkind. But, I swear on my nana’s life, Amelia, if you let this man go one more time…”

Amelia laughed. “Don’t bring your nana into this!”

“I’ve seen the way that he looks at you. I tried to write it off, ignore it, pretend it wasn’t there, but I know what I saw. Matty Healy loves you so much that he- well, he made friends with me! Helped me surprise you! Just between you and me, Amelia? I’m not sure that I would’ve done the same if I were him.” Joshua smiled. “Then again he WAS fucking you this entire time so I don’t know maybe he just pitied me.”

Amelia thought back to every moment that she and Matty had spent together recently. His declaration of love now painted them in different colors. Every time that he begged for her to hold his hand as she hurt him. Any time that he freely gave her control, insisting that he wanted whatever she wanted. That he would try anything she wanted him to try and put himself

Through whatever she wanted to inflict upon him. Any time that he would seemingly gain new life whenever she called him a good boy or praised him in any way. And all the times that he would ache in desperation for that praise, send himself into a frenzy, if she withheld any words. Bend over backwards trying to earn her approval. All of it felt so different now. It felt familiar because she’d experienced all of it herself. She knew what it was like to feel what he’d felt. After all، that’s how she’d felt with him. Back when they first started their undefined sexual relationship.

“Hear the man out” Joshua spoke again, redirecting her attention. “You owe it to yourself. Maybe you’re upset with him. Maybe you don’t trust him, or whatever. But you love him. So, at least give it a real shot. That way, if you decide you don’t want him anymore, you’ll at least know you tried. You won’t wonder for the rest of your life. And you won’t date other men while secretly sneaking into his bed at night.”

Amelia’s face felt red with shame. “And I’m so, so sorry about that. I- will apologize to you for the rest of my life, really.”

Joshua poured himself a cup of coffee. Then poured some for her as well.

“You owe me this, Amelia.”

“Excuse me?”

“After what you’ve done to me. I’m invested now. You can’t let my broken heart be for nothing.“ he smiled, playfully. “What? Too soon? I’m trying to be the bigger person here.”

Amelia let herself fall back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and covering her face with it, she groaned loudly.

***

Adam pressed the “pause” button, feeling his knees wobble as he stood up for the first time, in, longer than he’d care to admit. He answered the door to a stoned Matty, eyes bloodshot, pacing nervously by the door, biting on his fingernails.

“Matty?”

“Can I- erm, I can’t sleep.” He looked down at the floor, feeling stupid for coming here. “Could I hang out here for a bit?”

Adam nodded, placing a hand on his friend’s back as he walked into the room.

“You hungry?”

Matty didn’t seem to hear him, immediately drawn to the video game on the screen. “Is this new?”

“Yeah, yeah. Picked it up the other day in New York.” Adam decided he was going to share his snack, anyway. “Matty! Stop fucking with - don’t! No!!! You’ll ruin my high score. You’ve no idea how long it’s taken me to get here!”

“I have some idea.” Matty pointed towards the circle of crumpled candy wrappers and empty bottles that had accumulated around Adam’s seat.

Silently, Adam walked over to his backpack and produced an extra controller, plugging it in and sitting by Matty’s side.

“no word from Amelia, still?” He asked, carefully, as if treading on ice.

“Nope.”

Adam waited to see if he’d elaborate. But the terse response was his cue to restart the game. He knew Matty well enough to know that if he wanted to talk about it, he’d say more.

***

“Amelia, please! We should talk.” Matty trailed after her as she moved from room to room backstage, giving a helping hand wherever needed. Not that it was her job to do so. They had crew members for that. But she needed to busy herself with something, anything at all, to avoid a conversation with Matty.

“I miss you.” He stated simply and concisely.

“Matty, please,” she stopped in her tracks, her back still towards him, “don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. I wanna talk.”

“Not right now. Im busy.”

Before he could object, Ross and Adam rushed over, “c’mon mate we’re gonna be late!”

Matty heard them but refused to budge for a moment. Hoping that the urgency of time might compel her to soften. She just looked at Adam and Ross apologetically. Reluctantly, he allowed his friends to push him in the direction of the stage, but his eyes remained on Amelia until he could no longer see her.

****

The restaurant lights felt too harsh on his tired eyes so he put his sunglasses on inside as he walked in. They only shielded his vision for a few moments though. Soon enough, he saw his reflection in a mirror on the wall and he decided that he looked too much like a rockstar, so the glasses had to go.

The hostess walked him over to the table where his party had already arrived. Ross, Jamie, George, Charli, Adam, Carly, and a few friends of friends who happened to all be in the same city at the same time, and, of course, Amelia.

The whole night felt like an out of body experience. Perhaps being hungover from the previous night was already a bad start. But Matty had ended up next to Carly, putting him directly across the table from Amelia, with a perfect view of her every move. he spent his night alternating between glancing over at Amelia, wishing that she’d look in his direction or that he would at least get a hint of how she night be feeling , and asking Carly about things back home, the baby, and catching her up on some tour highlights. By the end of the night, he was exhausted and disoriented. He felt embarrassed for even entertaining the idea of sticking around, waiting to see if she would approach him. But, if he was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t bare it if he did stay behind only for her to walk past right past him, without acknowledgement. so, after dinner, he excused himself and rushed back to the hotel, crawling into bed instantly.

Yet, once again, he found it impossible to fall asleep.

It had been several nights since Amelia stopped coming by and getting into bed with him. He’d grown accustomed to having her there. He missed the smell of her hair right up against his nose as they desperately pressed their bodies together, the feeling of her arms around him helping to soothe him to sleep. Who would’ve thought that he’d see more of her when she was in a relationship than when she’d finally broken up with Joshua.

He entertained the option of drinking again. But the very notion felt pathetic. So, he ended up in George’s room. Asleep on the floor long after he should’ve gone to sleep.

***

Tobias, Patricia, and Amelia’s eyes were glued to the door, impatiently waiting for Matty’s arrival. It had been too long. Tobias has already shuffled and reshuffled the papers that were in front of him several times. Patricia clicked her retractable pen rhythmically and tapped her fingers against the table. Even refilled everyone’s coffee as they waited. Amelia, on the other hand, dreaded seeing him.

To everyone’s surprise (and Amelia’s relief) when the doors burst open, it was George who appeared in front of them.

“Matty’s…well, he’s asleep. I- think he needs it, so I’ve turned off his alarm. I’ll fill in for him.”

Their check-in was cut short, only going over the essentials to make sure the stage building would be ready by the time that they needed it to, and confirming with everyone that the now well-oiled, machine-like system that they’d developed after a year and a half of this tour was going according to plan.

“George? Umm….How’s he doing?” Amelia asked as they made their way to the exit.

“As well as can be expected of someone who has confessed their love for their close friend of many years only to have their heart crushed, stomped on, and shredded.”

“That’s not fair.” Amelia felt like her own heart was being shredded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” George smiled softly. “He’s….don’t worry about him. We’ve got him. he’s rotating between each of our rooms every night, so we’re keeping an eye on him.”

Amelia nodded. “Good, good.”

“Can I just ask, just between us, what the fuck are you doing?” Once again, George had let his tongue go.

“Pardon me?”

“He told you that he loves you. Do you have any idea how much work that took him?”

Amelia rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d say that. You’re on his side!” She sighed. “I need time, George.”

“Time for what? The two of you have been obsessed with each other since- since- for as long as I can remember.”

“It shouldnt be work. Telling someone that you love them. It isn’t supposed to be this hard, don’t you think? Besides, he- he lied to me, George! He kept things from me. He made decisions for me. Assumed what’s best for me and what relationship I want to be in, and reached the conclusion that I wouldn’t want to be with him, all on his own. Without ever mentioning it to me. Do you really think that’s a good start to a relationship?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that those decisions he made, though misguided, have more to do with how he feels about himself than how he feels about you? Look- this conversation doesn’t make any sense. You should be having it with him. Not me.”

“I’m trying. But he has this….effect on me. I don’t know how to say no to him.”

“Then don’t. Say yes to him. Or for fucks sakes put him out of his misery.”

Amelia shrugged in defeat. “So, like, kill him? Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?…sorry. I was just making a joke.”

***

Amelia watched from the side of the stage as Matty held up the tech workers by hogging one of the machines. He wriggled cords, pressed buttons, and turned dials on the soundboard with a deep confused look on his face. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. Fuckin hell.”

“Matty?” She hovered over his shoulder and he crouched down to check the wires that he’d already check on seconds ago. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t get this thing to work!” He jammed it into the outlet.

“Oh, I’ll …go get George.”

“No! Don’t do that!” He caught himself being a tad too angry and paused, deliberately adjusting his tone. “I’m…trying something. He won’t like me messing about. Ruining his….psychotic ‘system’ that he’s so protective of.”

She laughed, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Well, maybe I can help?”

“You can’t. It’s- too complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, right. Cuz I’m a certified idiot.” She turned around. “My bad. Won’t try to be helpful again.”

“Wait, what? Amelia! That’s not what I meant!”

“Fuck off.” She yelled out as she made her way out of the room.

***

Amelia set her book, face down, onto the duvet slowly, careful not to make any noise. She hadn’t ordered any room service, or contacted the front desk to send anything up to her room. She checked her phone for any texts or missed calls from anyone who might have tried to reach her through other means first, but nothing came up. This is why she hates being a woman, traveling solo, in strange places with dubious door locks.

She tiptoed over to the door, taking a peek. Shaking her head and cursing under her breath, she opened the door.

“Matty, what’re you doing here?”

He leaned against the doorframe. “Full disclosure: I’m a little bit buzzed right now. Not like off my tits or anything. But I’ve had a couple of drinks. if you send me away, I’ll understand.”

“Come in and be quiet. It’s late.” As always, she never could say no to him.

“I- I just wanted to come over here and say I’m sorry. I can’t stand the thought of you being angry at me. It makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t sleep at night. I feel so- I don’t even know.” He shrugged, feeling suddenly helpless after making a dramatic entrance. His confidence was deflating as he looked into her eyes. He took a few hesitant steps, and, to his surprise, she didn’t back away.

“What I’m about to say…. I probably wouldn’t say completely sober,” he stepped even closer, more confidently now. “but- I think- the fact that you’re upset with me means that you love me, too. You love me, still. If you’d moved on by now, this wouldn’t be so difficult. You’d just….gently let me down and we’d move on.”

Amelia felt tears prickling her eyes.

“I get it. I’m a dickhead. I just wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to wait until things were perfect. Not while I’m in the middle of a public crucifixion. I- I’ve ruined everyone who’s been associated with me. I mean, you’ve seen the Charli and Rina nonsense. And Jack, and..people I haven’t spoken to in ages….im on this insane tour where I try to mother a naked body double of myself onstage every night for some reason.” He giggled at his own words. “And- well, you know my state of mind. I just didn’t want you getting caught up in all that. I didn’t want to bring you down with me. I promise I wasn’t trying to hide things from you or make you choices for you. I- I just wanted to spare you the burden of…well, me.”

He looked her directly in the eyes, gently holding her by the shoulders. “I love you, Amelia. Forgive me?” He whispered, wiping a stray tear away with the pad of his finger. “Yeah? Say you forgive me please?” He dipped his head down, his nose brushing against hers. “Love me? Please?”

He kissed her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut, leaning into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His kissing grew desperate, whining and moaning into her mouth. She bit his lower lip, her hands roaming the hair on the back of his head.

He pulled away, regretful that his lungs couldn’t hold out even longer, and smiled against her lips.

“So, does this mean.. that I’m forgiven?”

Instead of responding, Amelia pulled him into her bed. She leaned further back the more that he inched closer, kissing her once more, until she was lying flat on her back and he was hovering over her.

Their clothes quickly discarded in a heap by the foot of the bed, Matty kissed up and down her body, hungrily, his breath hot against her skin, as he whispered “I love you” and “I’ve missed you” over and over like a prayer. His fingers ran down her sides, raising goosebumps all over her skin, his hands would find her breasts as he kissed below her stomach, and grab her hips as he kissed her neck, she was a mess by time that he’d dipped below her waist.

“May I please taste you?” He asked, softly, glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

“God, what’re you waiting for?” She pushed his face down between her legs, perhaps a little too aggressively. Matty’s chuckle was muffled by her skin, she felt the air of his breath in her core and throughout her whole body.

“Oh- fuck- that’s…so good.” She sighed, her eyes closed, a smile on her face.

Matty made quick work of sucking and licking into her, just the way that he knew she liked. Her body jumped abruptly when she felt his mouth on her clit, moaning unabashedly.

The wet sounds that his mouth made of her cunt, coupled with her moaning and whining, made Matty lightheaded with arousal. His own hips pushed instinctively into the bed as he attempted to steady hers.

“M-matty?”

Amelia tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to hear her. “Matty, honey?” She paused to admire the blissful look in his eyes and the glistening of his face. He was growing more eager to please her by the second, losing all sense of himself, sinking into submission.

“I- umm…need you inside me. Can’t wait any longer.”

Still panting, Matty nodded and propped himself up quickly, anxious to do as she says.

“Oh. Erm….condom.” He whispered, looking around for his discarded jeans.

“Check the nightstand, baby. It’s closer anyway.”

Matty fumbled and slipped in his attempt to slide over to the side of the bed, his entire body shaking and anxious. Amelia giggled at the mess that he’d been reduced to.

“You stay put, I’ll get it.”

“I can do -“

“Don’t you dare move okay?”

She handed him the packet, noticing that his receiving hand was trembling, she scanned his face carefully for a moment. “It’s okay. I’ll do it.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks turned read as he watched her roll it onto him.

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

It always amazed her how their bodies responded differently. For Amelia, being with Matty was freeing because it felt safe, steady, the unpredictability never worried her because at the forefront of her mind was the fact that, no matter what happened next, it was never going to hurt her. Matty’s desire, on the other hand, was different. Intense, wild, almost frenetic.

She clutched the duvet with her fists as he pushed into her, watching him throw his head back and groan in pleasure. All the anticipation that had him shaking had now come to a head. His body overwhelmed with stimulation from

Head to toe he remained perfectly still for a moment.

“Fuck…you’re so-“ his words dissolved into a gasp of pleasure feeling her stretch around him. “Tight.” He finally let out, smiling.

“Perfect for me.”

She’d forgotten just how perfectly their bodies fit together, how precise the movement of his hips could be, how well he’d knew her movements and preferences. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest and feeling the weight of his body on top of hers.

Matty buried his face in the space between her neck and her shoulder, moaning and whining into her ear as his hips rolled against hers. The sound of his voice and the shockwaves of pleasure overtook her.

“M-matty, I’m gonna cum.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before he felt her clench around him, her body straining against the weight of his.

His own pleasure followed closely after, feeling her cum all over his cock was just enough to tip him over the edge.

“May I-“

“Yes, go on, Matty. Cum for me.”

His face in the crook of her neck, she felt his thrusts grow harder, less intentional, he moaned out her name as he let go.

They both almost fell asleep in the perfect stillness, basking in bliss. It was a long time before either one of them made a move. It was Matty lazily turning his head to kiss her neck.

She smiled at the gesture, wrapping her arms around him.

“So, I think we have a lot to figure out now.” She mused.

Matty lifted his head ever so slightly to look at her. “Wanna figure it out over some dinner?”

She chuckled, her chest rising and falling under his. “I don’t think this conversation is the kind you wrap up over dinner. Unless you’re planning a very long feast. Which doesn’t sound too bad actually. I’m starving.”

“No, I know. But, we can start it over dinner. No rush, right?”

***

“Give me your phone.”

Matty blinked rapidly, looking down at Amelia’s open palm. she, on the other hand, stared right at him with an unwavering gaze. “Hand it over, Healy.”

“No.” He enunciated dramatically, trying, and failing, to his the grin on his face.

“What did you just say to me?”

Matty giggled, his sweet, melodic laugh almost wearing Amelia down. “Let me see, hmm….i believe I said ‘No.’”

“Alright, you leave me no choice. If I count to three and your phone isn’t in my hand, I’m gonna make sure you can’t take your shirt off and slut around onstage for the rest of the tour without the entire world seeing what I’ve done to your body.”

Amelia’s words sent a thrill through him, but he was adamant on winning this round. “That…sounds kinda hot, actually.”

Amelia burst into laughter. The sound of her voice always made him happy, even if he was rather confused at the moment.

“What? What’re you laughing about? Oi! Knock it off!”

“Sorry; sorry. I was just picturing the look on Jamie’s face when you took off your shirt and revealed big, bright red marks all over your chest and back.”

Matty rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically. “Fuckin hell….fine, fine. You can have my phone. Delete whatever you like, I’ll just download the app all again tomorrow.”

“Bitch, please. Do you think I was born yesterday?”

Amelia unironically calling him ‘bitch’ amused him endlessly. “What- did you just call me?”

He asked in between giggles, but she was too engrossed in her work.

“Alright. So, I’ve changed your Twitter password. Now I’m going to delete the app. On to Instagram….”

“Fuckin hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” He admitted without a fight.

“It’s for your own good, you know. Alright, I’m done with Instagram. Now, I’ll change your Apple ID Password.”

Matty plopped down on the bed dramatically. Whining and kicking his feet. “You’re no fun! What if I want memes! Hmm? What then?”

“Use google.”

“What am I? a hundred years old?” He sat up quickly, offended by her suggestion.

“Here.” She handed him his phone back. “Don’t worry. I’ll text you memes every day. Unless of course I found out that you’ve been googling yourself.”

The petulant act crumbled away as soon as Matty’s eyes met hers. He smiled instinctually, already forgetting what it was that he was complaining about moments prior. He leaned in, kissing her lips, his eyelashes tickling her skin.

“Thank you. I know you’re trying to help.”

***

Matty’s naked body was drenched in sweat, his lips swollen, his thighs shaking almost as hard as the vibrator that Amelia had strapped to one of them.

“A-Amelia? I’m- ohhh… I’m dizzy.” He pulled against his restraints, too weak to even make them rattle.

“It’s cuz you’re so desperate.” She smirked.

“Please? I- I don’t know how much more I can take….feel like I’m on the edge of- of-“ he exhaled a puff of hot air “passing out.”

“That’s fine by me.”

“Fuck! Wh- what?”

His shock amused her. “Tell you what, let’s make a deal.”

“A-anything you want just please let me cum.”

“You’ve got two options. You get to cum right now-“

“Yes, yes! I choose that one, yes- let’s do that one!”

Amelia chuckled, “hold on let me finish. Hear me out.” She sat down on the bed to be at eye level with him. “You can either cum right now BUT then I won’t touch you for a whole week. ORRRR…you get another ruined orgasm and we carry on as usual.”

“What? Jesus fuckin Christ! Why?! Why- why won’t you touch me?”

She shrugged. “Which option do you want?”

Matty stared blankly ahead, more sweat pouring down his body, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He felt the pleasure that he’d been warding off for ages rise up again. His legs trembling.

“Co-could you- erm- turn it off so- I can think for a bit? Please?”

“Nope. You gotta think with the vibrator on you.”

He let out a pathetic whine.

“So…if I cum, you won’t touch me for a week…does that mean-“

She took mercy on him and finished his thought for him, “it means no sex, no hugs, no hand-holding. No physical contact of any sort.”

“No- no cuddles?” His eyes widened.

She laughed, taken off guard by his surprisingly endearing concern. “No cuddles.”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, attempting to scrape some focus together to weigh his options. “If- if I let you ruin my orgasm- when- uhh” he paused, his eyebrows shooting up, “oh god. I…think I’m gonna-“ he swallowed whatever moisture had remained in his mouth, his lips sticking together.

“If you choose a ruined orgasm nothing changes. Might let you cum tonight. Or it might be next week. Or next month. We just carry on with what we’re doing.”

“Oh god. I can’t! I can’t choose! You choose for me!”

She watched his stomach tighten as he did his best to repress his pleasure. “What’s the fun in that?”

He attempted to smile but his confused state of mind and loss of control over his body made it difficult.

“Okay…okay. I - I choose- no orgasm. Don’t wanna cum. Ruin it if you want. Or- or keep edging me. I won’t cum. Promise.”

“Awe, really?” She rushed over to him and pulled his dangling head back so they could lock eyes. “Are you sure about that? You look ready to give up.”

“I’m sure. No orgasm.”

He felt high on the sensation of her hand cupping his face and was never more certain of a choice in his life. He’d never willingly give up a week of that.

Amelia reached over and untied his left wrist, helping to bring his hand down to his lap.

“Here’s the best bit,” she smiled. “You get to ruin your own orgasm.”

“Beg your fuckin pardon?”

There he was. Defiant and dramatic as ever. The matty that she knew was still in there. She giggled.

“Mhm. You heard me. Whenever you’re ready. You take away your own pleasure.” She stepped back. To give him space and to get a full view.

“Why? Can’t it just be you? Please?”

“I wanna see if you’d have the guts to do it.”

He thought about her words for a second, responding with a weak and small voice “ I’d do anything for you.” He resigned himself to his fate and brought his hand down to the bottom of the vibrator. His shaky fingers circling the control buttons to make out which button was the one he was going to need. “G-gonna, Erm- count out loud. For you.”

She nodded.

Matty counted slowly, breathlessly, on the count of 3, he let go, getting ready to cum, and just as his body began to relax, he turned the toy off, the vibrations stopping abruptly.

He screamed in pain his hips reflexively thrusting forward, chasing the nonexistent stimulation. His cock twitching involuntarily, his own cum hitting his face.

“Fuck! Ow! Hurrrtsss so- much” a high pitched whimper left his lips. His hard cock, sensitive, twitched slightly. He fought the sting of tears in his eyes.

Amelia attempted to act calm about it, but a piece of her hated seeing him in so much pain. Even when it was pain that he’d agreed to and that she enjoyed. She rushed over to him, too quickly and worriedly for someone who was meant to revel in putting him through this.

“Hey, Matty…” she spoke softly, hesitantly approaching the bed, unsure if he wanted her close or if he needed a minute.

“I- did it.” Matty whispered, his voice slightly strained from his earlier crying.

She was relieved to hear him, hurrying to kiss his lips. “You did it. You did so fuckin well.”

“Yeah? I was good?”

“You were the best!”

He sighed, relieved. “Okay. Good. Cuz I’m quite competitive.”

Amelia laughed silently, shaking her head at him.

“Right. Let’s untie you here…” she reached over to undo his right wrist, and then his ankles.

“Are we finished?” Matty asked with a soft tone that almost melted her heart.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. You’re drained.”

Amelia and Matty sat side by side, his spinning head resting on her shoulder. Every once in a while, she would nudge him and bring a water bottle to his lips, urging him to take a sip and replenish the fluid that he’d lost. He lacked the energy to express his gratitude but Amelia knew he was thankful anyway. He didn’t need to say anything.

“Matty? Can I ask - I mean… you were on the verge of busting like a few times tonight. Why- why didn’t you choose that option?”

“You don’t think I wanted to?” He laughed.

“Well, why didn’t you? I gave you the chance.”

“Didn’t wanna go without your touch for a whole fuckin week.” He stated simply as if it was the most obvious truth.

“Dirty boy.”

He smiled. “Nah, I don’t mean that sexually. I mean this…right now. Just…being able to touch you and feel you touch me.” He nuzzled into her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Amelia.” His heart nearly jumped out of his body hearing himself say those words. “But…erm…Sexually is nice too, don’t get me wrong…”

***

Matty ran across the airport terminal, his backpack bouncing along, weighing him down. His feet doubled their speed as he got closer and closer to catching up with her. Finally, he tapped her shoulder, quickly intertwining their hands together.

Amelia jumped, startled. She turned around to find Matty’s hand in hers, his other hand offering her a bouquet of flowers.

“Are those for me? When did you-“

“Flower shop over there.” He kissed her cheek, his arm reaching over to take her suitcase.

“Thank you…wow. What’s the occasion?”

Matty shrugged. “Dunno. Saw a family buying some for…I presume someone that they’re picking up or whatever. Figured why not. You deserve flowers too.”

“That’s sweet of you, Matty. Did you have a good flight?” She squeezed his hand.

“Would’ve been better if you’d sat next to me.”

“I…know. But I figured you have a hard time with flights and….i don’t know. Maybe you’d want some space. Hann always seems to know what to do when you’re overwhelmed.”

Matty nodded. “It was good to hang out with the boys, yeah. But I wouldn’t have minded having you there. Did you have a good flight?”

“Perfect. Had dinner and a drink, put on a face mask, went right to sleep.”

Matty’s eyebrows shot up. “You and I handle travel very differently.”

***

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Amelia stood over him, lighting the candles one by one and gleefully watching him squirm.

“I- fucked up.” He winced in anticipation of anything happening to his bare chest.

“Be more specific.” She clicked her tongue.

“I’ve been ignoring all the rules. For over a week. I haven’t…really had a good nights sleep or a proper meal in ages.”

“And I warned you.” Amelia felt her frustration regain its power as she thought about his recently actions.

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled. “You’re not. But you’re about to be.”

Matty whined, squeezing his eyes shut.

Molten wax pooled in the middle of the candle, Amelia tilted it, holding it over Matty’s chest and watching the liquid tip over the edge and drip down onto his skin.

“Oh FUCK!” He hissed, his body jumping at the sensation.

“Eh. That wasn’t too bad. I should do it over your nipples now.”

“What- no! Please- OH MY- fuckkkk. That HURTS!” He yelled.

“Breathe, Matty, breathe. Open your eyes. Look at me…. There you are. Prettiest boy. Listen, you know you can tap out, right?”

He nodded, his pained expression relaxing gradually.

“Okay. Just checking. Now, gotta do it to your other nipple.”

“Christ! That- is-“ he gasped, his body shuddering in pain.

The more his tolerance built up, the more aggressive Amelia got with her wax, drawing shapes of different sizes and colors all over his chest? stomach, and circling the tattoo right above his hip. She had him crying and apologizing in no time. But it wasn’t until she’d asked matty to turn around so she could torture his calfs and underside of his knees that his worst pain hit him.

“Matty?” She called out to him as she set down her candles. “Matty, love, look at me, please.”

His sweat and tear cover face turned towards her. The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know.

“How’s your pain right now?”

“I’m fine.”

Amelia remained quiet. giving him a chance to change his answer. She repeated her question, again “how’s your pain right now?”

“Keep- keep going. I can take it.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes before getting up to blow the candles out. “You’re not getting this are you?”

Matty had to admit that his head was foggy with pain, Adrenalin, and the desperate desire to atone for his mistakes, but still, he felt he’d done nothing wrong.

“I’m tapping out.” Amelia announced. “I’m calling red. We’re done. This is over.”

Matty sat up quickly, his head spinning from the sudden movement. “What? Why! What have I done? I’m sorry! Amelia, please! I don’t wanna make more mistakes-“

“You haven’t made any more mistakes. That’s the thing, Matty. It’s the same mistake that you keep making over and over again. You burn yourself out, neglect your own wellbeing, just to accomplish the things that you think will make you worthy of the most fundamental needs.”

Matty felt her words like daggers to the heart. He knew this about himself. But he liked to pretend that it worked for him. Listening to Amelia lay it out for him so bluntly felt like a betrayal of confidence.

“You did it all week when you ignored sleep and food and rest to squeeze in every bit of work possible. And you did it just now by forcing yourself to take more than you can handle to make me happy. I pushed your limit on purpose. To see if you’d tap out. And you didn’t. But I know you were in pain.” She broke her own heart as she spoke. “I’ve - never - seen you writhe and bite down on the bedding so hard before.” She sighed, disappointed that her excitement had yielded the exact result that she knew it would. “I can’t have you treating yourself so poorly. And- honestly, we can fuck around with pain like this if I can’t trust that you’ll safe word out of the situation whenever you’re no longer having fun. I punish you so that you don’t have to punish yourself. What you’re doing, forcing your body through….its never gonna work.”

She watched him tug at the duvet nervously and knew that he was overwhelmed. She wished she knew how to help him process whatever was going on with him. The fact that this was reaching levels of concern beyond her capacity to handle scared her. He needed more help that she could give him.

***

Tonight’s show was amazing. Amelia spoke softly, running her fingers through his hair. She was half certain that he’d fallen asleep with his head in her lap.

He hummed in response, proving her wrong. “Was, wasn’t it?” He mumbled, his words slurring, voice laced with sleep.

“You wanna go to bed?” She suggested

“Wanna stay with you.”

“The idea is that…well…I’d be in the bed with you.”

Matty smiled, taking a deep breath and mustering all his leftover energy to open his eyes slowly. “Hi.” He looked up at her. “I just mean…we haven’t had a chance to spend time together in a minute. Just us.”

“I know. But you’re tired. Which is understandable. You put on a great show. I can’t imagine having any energy left after that…’People’ performance.”

A slow, self-satisfied smile grew on his face. He blushed at the compliment. “I was pretty good, wasn’t I…”

“You all were.”

Matty sighed, relaxing further into the bed. “The thing about us, Amelia, is that-“

“You just keep getting better baby?”

Matty chuckled loudly, his whole body shaking as he laughed. His sleepiness definitely made everything seem funnier. “I love that you can read my mind.”

***

Amelia’s heart pounded in her chest as she shuffled out of bed, rushing to the door. She checked to see who was knocking at her door at this ungodly hour. Relieved that it was Matty, she opened the door quickly.

“What on earth brings you-“ the look on his face rendered her instantly speechless. “Matty what’s wrong?”

“My head is- I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking. I’m so anxious. I can’t sleep. Brain feels so full. Like it’s going to explode.”

She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him and pull him in for a tight hug. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Matty. Breathe, my love.”

She gently guided him into the bedroom, rubbing slow circles into his back.”

“Oh, fuck. You were asleep weren’t you? I woke you up didn’t I? I - I shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry…I’ll - I’ll leave.”

He made an attempt to pull away, but Amelia held on to him, perhaps, too aggressively, “no! You’re not going anywhere”

She held his hand, leading him around the room, to bed, urging him to sit down. “Stay here. I’ll turn on the light and get you some tea or something.”

“Don’t want any tea, Amelia. I just…I want….”’

“What do you want?”

“I want you. Just you.”

She slid into bed next to him, letting him toss and turn, and wiggle around until he got comfortable. When she was certain that his nervous energy had stopped simmering, she pulled him into her chest listening to his breathing mellow as he l focused less on what was going on inside his head and more on the feeling of her skin against his.

In the harsh light of day, Matty’s panic felt even worse. like a hangover without the reckless indulgence of the night before. He knew he couldn’t continue to feel this way for much longer.

“I think I need help.” He suddenly announced, breaking the silence in the room as Amelia had busied herself with arranging their room service breakfast.

“What do you mean?”

“Professional help.”

“Oh. O-Kay. Umm…that’s good! It’s good, right?”

“I have no fuckin clue.” He spoke slowly, his voice getting lower and lower with each word.

This didn’t seem like breakfast conversation, so Amelia let go of the cutlery and sat on the bed next to him.

She held his hand in hers. “It’s good, Matty. This is good. It’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t know that it is. I don’t think im the sort of person who does well with relinquishing control to the authority of others.”

She couldn’t argue with him there.

“The very notion of therapy depends on someone having privileged access to my brain. Knowing more about me than me. Does that not sound utterly absurd? That’s fuckin mental!”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way. They don’t know more about you than you do. They just know more about whatever….psychological disorder you’ve got and they know ways around it or whatever.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “What if- what if that’s not true. What if ‘disorder’ is just a word for weird. Like, weird isn’t always a bad thing.”

“No, no.” Amelia shook her head. “Respectfully, nope.” She squeezed his hand “you are more than just your fucked up brain. And the fact that you identify your entire existence with the thing that’s hurting you is proof that you’re fucked up, kinda.”

“Right.” Matty nodded along.

“Look, you always say that you don’t want to be the kind of person who thrives off of drama, right? You refuse the idea that an artist needs to be fucked up in order to make great art, right?”

“Of course.”

“There’s always this notion that…like…the best artists were great because they were mentally ill. That’s not a thing. Except in tv and film where like characters must suffer to think great thoughts. People always say “oh maybe Van Gogh was a bit crazy but he made great art because he was crazy. That’s just not true! The guy cut off his ear!!!”

Matty giggled. “Gonna cancel you for using the word crazy by the way. Just wait until I tell Twitter. I’ll get myself uncanceled by feeding you to them.”

She rolled her eyes. “Or your example-“

“Right. The Burroughs thing. I’d rather his wife have lived than have read Queer. I get it. I get it. You think you’ve bested me with my own logic. Ugh. Fine.”

Amelia’s face lit up. Proud of herself for disabusing him of his misconceptions. “Fine? Really? As in, you’ll try therapy?”

“I’ll fuckin try. But if they put me on pills and I lose my sparkle, it’ll be your fault.”

“Please. If it were possible, your sparkle would’ve faded a while ago.” She reached over to kiss him.

That kiss was the final push that he needed. Matty waited for her to go into the bathroom after breakfast, and he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Louis, you alright? Mhm. Right, so, listen. I’d love to chat — maybe I’ll call you back later— but I’m in a hurry. I just wanted to ask if you’ve spoken to mom and dad? And they’re fine with it? Right, no. It’s better if you deliver it. I’ll just fly you out whenever. Text me some dates and stuff. We’ll get it sorted. Okay, cool. Cheers, then. Talk to you soon.”

#matty healy fanfiction #matty healy smut #matty healy fluff #matty healy fanfic #matty healy x oc #matty healy writing

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justanamesstuff · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 2

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: I'm really enjoying this process with this fic...I've written it a few years ago so it means a lot to me acknowledging how much i grew since then in a lot of senses. Anyyyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know whatever you think about it (always with respect please and thank uu) ♥♥

Warnings: just fluff and a bit of mixed feelings, typos.

Word count: 2.8 K

Masterlist Taglist

< chapter 1

1 month later, Ireland

The alarm went off startling Y/n out of her dreams.

The girl groaned, closing her eyes tight before reopening them. Her sight settled on the ceiling of her temporal bedroom. Y/n’s mind was foggy with sleep and heavy thoughts.

At the same time she went through the schedule for the day, Y/n rubbed the middle of her chest feeling a subtle and yet intense feeling. She felt like she was going against the flow of everything. Like her destination was east, although everyone was taking the opposite way. Y/n asked herself multiple times during that past month if she was doing the right thing.

The contradiction was born out of a mix of feelings. Y/n had very deep and dark feelings on her heart, but on the other hand Ireland was making her happy, the time away from Matty and the guys was helping more than she expected it.

Y/n hadn’t spoken with the boys since she left the studio/house. During the first days, she continued talking with George. But all conversations died quickly since she was getting ready to leave, and he was busy producing and recording the new album.

Y/n adored her work as a PA for actors around all type of sets. For the new job she was meant to help Lily, who was a sweet soul and luckily around the same age as he, so they got along rather fast once they landed on Ireland.

The girl rubbed her face trying to get rid of the heavy feeling. Running around the set drowned her energy completely, physically and mentally speaking. At night, Y/n ate fighting with the fatigue overpowering her body. Even though her work drained her she loved it, she wouldn’t change it for anything else and for the time being it was a life saviour as well. Y/n was deeply exhausted but profoundly grateful for everything.

Only one thing shadowed her happiness: her dreams with Matty. He was constantly there, reminding Y/n he still existed no matter how hard she tried to avoid the man. Maybe that was why she started to work harder and harder trying to fell every night into even deeper REM states in which Matty couldn’t reach her.

‘I’ll get through this’, Y/n repeated as a mantra getting up from her bed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

On set, Ireland

Y/n was going through Lily’s schedule on her phone making sure everything was right and on time. The girl was a good worker but the main reason that day circled around the fact that it was Friday, and she had a plane to take, Y/n wanted to be out of set on time.

She was texting the assistant to the director when the actress spoke for the first time in half hour taking the PA out of her work rush.

“So, what are you doing for Christmas break?” Lily asked Y/n who didn’t take her eyes off the screen.

“I’m going home. Why?” Y/n expressed, still not making eye contact.

“Like…home home? Or just home?” Lily insisted, finally making her friend look up.

She told Lily a resume of her life, not a detailed one though. “Home home doesn’t feel like home any more and I much prefer to spend the holidays with the guys than with Uncle Dan and his family to be honest.” Y/n answered. “I’m going to Manchester.”

“Oh, right. He is- “

“No, he’s in LA from what I’ve heard.” Y/n explained rapidly. Yes, she told Lily a little about Matty.

“Amazing.”

“Why you ask?”

“Because the whole cast is planning on going out during the weekend but…anyway, you’re leaving us.” Lily pulling a sad face.

“I’m not part of the cast..so you’re not going to miss me.” Y/n joked back.

“Oh, shut up! You’re part of the gang!” Lily protested. “Well, yeah, we’re planning on getting super drunk, and you know who asked if you were coming…” Y/n instantly blushed.

“You’re bluffing You’re lying” she moved uncomfortably in her seat.

“‘m not” Lily smile widened. “You can ask Lee- “ who was another of the actors. “He was there too. We were running some lines before a scene, and your boy- “

“He’s not my boy.” y/n whined.

“Yeah, sure!” Lily scuffed. “As I was saying, we were discussing the plans and Tom asked about you.”

“Did he really?” Y/n looked at her friend, really willing to know.

“Oh yes, he was very interested.”

“Maybe he wanted to know because if I go he’ll skip it.” Y/n thought out loud.

Lily looked at her in disbelieve. “Shut up, the boy is whipped for you!”

“Shhh!” Y/n took a quick glance at the door and out of the small window of the trailer. “Someone could hear you… and besides that’s not true.” Y/n shushed her.

“You’re impossible, you know right?”

“I know.” Lily’s friend smiled proudly.

“No, but really…do you know he fancies you? Yes?” Lily seriously asked.

“Do you know he treats me as a friend?” Y/n fought back.

“Y/n!”

“Lily!”

“Would you stop being so negative for a minute, please?”

“Mmmm, let me think about that” Y/n faked doing so. “No, but seriously, he’s a friend!” she looked down because Y/n could feel her entire face just turned red as her blood pressure picked up a little, and she didn’t want Lily to notice that.

“Oh, yeah, I totally believe you! The guy always finds a way to be around you and… please I don’t mean to underestimate your work, love…but he doesn’t have to be around you on set and yet…” Lily reasoned with Y/n.

“Okay, he likes to hang out with me.” Y/n partially admitted. “I can agree with that. Although…that doesn’t mean he fancies me.”

“Yes, but he only does that with you, Y/n/n.” Lily grinned. “Not even with me, we’re the main characters! We’re around each other the entire day almost.”

“But you hang out more with Fionn and Lola. Maybe that’s why.” Y/n said while she fidgeted with her fingers.

“Maybe, still- “

“See? Your conspiracy theory is all wrong.” Y/n tried to end the conversation. She stood up searching for the tea bags.

“It’s not. You’re choosing to avoid the truth!” Lily exposed Y/n hitting a nerve.

Y/n knew she tended to avoid dealing with her feelings. Specially the ones about love and romantic relationships. One thing was acknowledged it for herself although another galaxy was to admit them out loud at the same time she was –kinda– pushed to put herself again out there and give her heart to someone else. A little dramatic? Maybe. Even though, Y/n knew more than anyone the fact that it was a lot to handle.

Tom was a very nice guy, who came into her life and gave her a friendship so sweet and easy. He didn’t ask too much of her, he didn’t hurt her fragile heart since the first day they met. The contrast with Matty was massive. Wrong too. Y/n knew she shouldn’t compare them, but her heart couldn’t help herself.

Y/n was sure of what she told Lily. Tom was charming with everyone, he was a kind soul. Possibly one or two times he gave her reasons to think otherwise, but Y/n was afraid so she denied everything.

“Earth to Y/n!” Lily snapped her out of her head and internal dialogue. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. I’m not choosing anything. Didn’t he have a girlfriend?” Y/n asked Lily.

“It wasn’t that formal…I don’t really know what happened but I think she left him or he- I don’t know, not important.” Lily moved her hands in the air.

“Like a month ago they appeared in the tabloids- “

“Oh, oh, someone was paying attention, ha?” Lily mocked her.

“Shut up, I wasn’t- I just- I stumbled upon it on the internet.” quickly Y/n tried explaining.

“Oh, yeah, I totally believe you!” Lily rolled her eyes gaining a weird expression from Y/n which in consequence made her friend laugh hard. Both of them started laughing uncontrollably.

The laughs were very loud, even the people walking by the trailers could hear them. In fact, the boy standing at the door smiled watching them, just before he interrupted.

“What is so funny?” Tom grinned wide.

“Talking about the devil.” Lily muttered low and quickly, so only Y/n could hear it.

“Hi, Tom.” Y/n greeted him avoiding Lily’s comment.

“Yeah, hi, Tommy.”

“What were you doing?”

“I was running lines and Y/n working, nothing fun.” Lily told him.

“Oh, good good.” he replied, leaning on the door frame.

Lily took a look at Tom and then Y/n, quickly making a decision. She took her phone, and said, “Well, I’ll leave you guys. Fionn wants to run lines together for the next scene.” Y/n arched an eyebrow knowing she didn’t have a scene with Fionn and very well knowing what Lily was planning.

“Okay…” Y/n said suspicious. “Remember to stay inside the big building at 17 pm, okay?” Y/n remind her.

“Yeah, yeah.” Lily dismissed her.

“And keep your phone close!”

“Yes, mom!” Lily joked making her way out.

Once Y/n’s friend was out of view, she urged Tom to get inside the warm trailer.

“Do you have more scenes today?” Y/n asked him, as Tom took Lily’s seat.

“Luckily, no, I just finished.” he shared.

“So, what are you doing here? If I were you, I would be in bed or something.”

“Yeah, good idea. I- I just…” Tom’s face turned a bit red, while he moved uncomfortable on his place. “I wanted to see you before you left.” Y/n’s heart melt a little. Tom kept gifting her those cute comments, and no matter the state of her heart he managed to make her a mess every time.

“I’m only leaving for a couple of days.” Y/n played with the strings of her hoodie. She didn’t really know what to say.

“Yeah, I know, I know…but we’ll miss you.” he said looking down.

Y/n tried to slightly change the subject, “Lily told me the whole gang is planning on going out this weekend.”

“Yes, it’s going to be boring without you.” Tom stated without skipping a beat. Y/n laughed a little.

“Oh, yeah! I’m the soul of the party! Sorry to leave you guys.” Y/n joked.

“Excuse me?! We are. Do you remember the last party?” Tom inquired. Part of the tension surrounding the pair broke, making them feel more comfortable with each other.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t remember any party. We never ever stayed up all night sitting at a table, talking about books and movies like two proper geeks and end up falling asleep in the same place.” Y/n said with a big smile adoring her face, making Tom laugh.

“Good thing you don’t remember, because I do!”

Y/n chuckled, “It was a good night though.”

“Yeah, I really enjoy it. The nap was fantastic.”

“Yeah, totally.”

“So, y/n- “ he started to ask.

“Yes, Tommy?”

“Why do you always manage to make that horrible nickname rarely cute?”

“It’s my hidden superpower.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I was wondering if maybe- “

“Aja..“

“I was wondering if… when you returned…you wanted to go on a date with me.” Tom’s proposal threw her back a little. Tom did notice her hesitation so he added, “only if you want- it’s totally fine if you don’t-“

Y/n cut him, “Tom!”

“Yeah?” he looked directly into her eyes.

Those gorgeous blue eyes drowned her and without thinking too much, y/n answered, “I would love to go out with you.”

“Really?”

“Do you have second thoughts?” She lifted her eyebrow, emphasising her question.

“No, no. I just- Never mind. Then, awesome! We can choose where and when next time you’re here, yeah?” Tom said, visibly smiling.

“Awesome.” she returned the happy feeling, keeping her head empty of doubts and thoughts. Y/n, for once, was feeling excited and happy.

After that they continued talking about everything and nothing for a couple of minutes, then duty called. Y/n had to make sure Lily shot her lasts scenes for the day and Tom had nothing more to do there if Y/n was busy. They said goodbye with a short but cute hug, making her feel a couple of things.

Until the end of her shift, Y/n’s head was occupied with happiness and work. She needed to finish the day and catch the plane home.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Returning home to Manchester, England

After finishing with everything on set, Y/n went to the Airbnb she was sharing with Lily. Y/n picked a couple of her belongings, she didn’t want to pack too many things for only a week in Manchester, just the necessary.

The flight was good, she already had messaged George all the details about what time the plane was meant to take off and land. G promised to pick her up from the airport and drive her home.

Y/n could feel the stress from the day, from the month as well. Even though she was happy and all, Y/n worked her butt off. That’s why minutes after the plane took off, she fell asleep. She woke up with the flight attendant letting her know that they had arrived.

A couple of minutes after the bureaucracy and all, Y/n managed to find George. They greeted each other with a big hug. They didn’t have seen each other since she left the house during the last bit of quarantine.

“You’re back, you’re back!” George rounded her, lifting her body slightly up the floor. He couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Someone missed me, ha?” Y/n said out of breath.

“Of course! I thought I was never going to see you again!” George let her feet touch the floor, resting his cheek on the top of Y/n’s head.

“You’re such a div.” Y/n accused him, laughing.

Y/n pushed a bit back, looking up at G.

“You just realized that?” he huffed, as they started to walk to the car. Y/n couldn’t avoid thinking of the last time she was at the same doors, but with someone else. She quickly stopped her head and returned her attention to her friend.

George ranted about a new track he had been working on with the boys, the mess he found when he returned to the house, etc. Y/n stayed in silence, loving the moment with her best friend. Listening was nice for her, his voice never failed to calm her head in a very strange way.

Y/n realized driving around that George was taking the road to the boy’s house. So she interrupted his talking, “ G, I’m not staying at your house tonight.”

“But, M-“ he started to say.

The drummer’s friend interrupted again, “I know, I just need to go home tonight. I need my own bed, ya?”

G thought for a second after accepting, “Fine!” He totally understood what she meant. “Fine! But..promised me the first thing you would do tomorrow is going to the house, okay?” Y/n’s chest got warm noticing G referenced the house as her own too.

“Yeah, dad.”

“Good girl!” George petted Y/n’s head jokingly, making her laugh. He was happy to see her smile more again.

The blond boy left her not without making her promise again. She already thought about going there before he told her, but anyway she repeated the promise.

………………………………………………………..

After a hug and a sweet goodbye beside another promise of visiting the boys the next morning, Y/n was so tired that the moment her head fell on her pillows she drifted again.

The next morning, Y/n moved around her flat content to be there and due to not remember any dream with Matty in a long time.

After a quick breakfast at 10 am, Y/n started the short trip to the boy’s house. On her way, Y/n texted George and the boy said he was out, but he would be home soon. It wasn’t a problem since Y/n had a key.

Y/n opened the front door at the same time someone started to walk down the stairs. She had her sight fixed on the bag of pastries she picked for the boy, but she could hear the steps.

Thinking the person was Ross, John or Adam –who was spending more time around since quarantine was over—, she said, “Who’s the sleeping beauty coming down?” finally looking up.

“Hi, Y/n.” a shirtless Matty greeted her. Y/n froze in place.

*******************

Taglist: @hollybrislen @sinarainbows @eaglestar31 @sugarkane1001

Chapter 3 >

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