#may and ben and TOMMY

[vhstown]

i have SOOO many characters in my spidersona's universe i might have to make a whole other long post (on my main ofc lmao).... sorry for all the oc posting btw but im also not sorry cuz it makes me happy and it's a little dumb but oc 👹👹👹

[leashybebes]

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together for BuckTommy?

it's late, i know. but on the plus (?) side, it got away from me a bit so have 1k plus of mostly just...them being cute.

"I wanted to take you before," Buck says, casual, because they're trying to get better at talking about before, at not just pretending that Tommy kissed him and they got together and everything was fine. "But the viewing conditions were bad all last year."

"Yeah? There a reason for that, or just bad luck?"

It means keep talking, and Buck smiles. Tommy really - he makes Buck feel smart. Makes him feel interesting.

"Just luck, I think," Buck says, and frowns. "I don't know if there's some kinda…pattern to it, maybe? I bet Karen could build an algorithm. Did anyone at Harbor lose their minds over that treasure hunt a few years back or were you guys all too busy being cool?"

"I may have been roped into planning a search grid or two," Tommy says with a grin. "Are we taking food with us?"

"Just snacks," Buck says. "I figured we'd swing by a 24 hour diner on our way home."

"Burgers and milkshakes at 3a.m. honestly sounds perfect," Tommy says. He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but he reaches out for Buck, brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles. "We talking gas station snacks or Trader Joe's?"

"I could do some serious damage to an overpriced salad right now."

"Gotcha."

Once they're loaded up with Buck's overpriced salad and Tommy's over seasoned chips they're able to make the drive out towards Malibu a fairly leisurely one. Once they get to the beach, Buck decides it was worth the tradeoff to head out of the city rather than to one of the ticketed events - it's going to be cold, but it's fairly quiet, just a few clusters of other people dotted around. 

Tommy spreads their blanket on the sand and Buck settles against him. The sound of the waves is a lovely background soundscape and Buck lets it wipe the long, long week away for a few moments.

"Hey," he says when Tommy hands him his salad. "Did you know this is one of my favorite beaches?"

"I don't think I did," Tommy says. "How come?"

"The tide pools," Buck says eagerly. "I brought Jee a few times and we saw so many good critters."

"Yeah? We'll have to come back in daylight and you can show me…all the gross water bugs your heart desires."

Buck snorts with laughter and presses his face into Tommy's shoulder. "You are under no obligation to look at fascinating water bugs with me, you big baby."

"Okay, but I would," Tommy says.

"I know you would. It's fine. I'll just carry on bringing the tiny children who won't have to feign interest through gritted teeth."

"I will happily wait in the car," Tommy says, kissing the top of Buck's head. "Fetch ice creams. Make interested sounds from a safe distance."

"Big baby," Buck says again, fonder than he can possibly express.

"Alright, alright. C'mon, tell me about this meteor shower."

"Okay," Buck says, and pulls Tommy down so they're side by side on the blanket. "We're looking…here," he says, tracing a circle in the sky above them. 

"Gotcha," Tommy says, and inches a little closer, looking up along the line of Buck's arm.

"Did - " Buck breaks off to yawn. "DId you know the Geminids are really unusual?"

"How so?"

"So they come from an asteroid, not a comet. There's only one other shower like that, I think, and it's not as regular."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hm. It's called 3200 Phaethon, and it gets closer to the sun than any other named asteroid."

"Huh."

"Did you know it's a PHA - potentially hazardous asteroid?"

"I did not know that."

Buck nods and turns his head to look at Tommy, his profile as eye catching as ever, even when it's in darkness.

"Just because of its size though. It actually has a really predictable orbit, so we're not in danger, or anything."

"I'll tell Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to stand down."

"Huh?"

"Movie," Tommy says. "We'll watch it sometime. I'm sure the science would annoy you, but both Affleck and Liv Tyler are at their prettiest."

Buck laughs and turns onto his side to get closer to Tommy, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Careful," Tommy says. "Don't wanna miss the show." But he cranes his neck to kiss Buck anyway.

"We're not gonna miss it," Buck promises, stealing another kiss. "It was named after the son of the Greek sun god," he says between kisses. "The asteroid."

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh. Because it - it gets so close."

"The power of Wikipedia right at my fingertips," Tommy says, dancing his fingers up and down the back of Buck's neck for emphasis.

Buck laughs and shivers, shoves his hand inside Tommy's hoodie for warmth and revenge. Tommy half-swallows a yelp and kisses him again. Buck settles closer, craning his neck a little so he can keep an eye on the sky. It is cold, but he's so comfortable, always so comfortable when they settle together like this. 

"The Greek sun god is called Helios, by the way," Tommy says.

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hm."

"How'd you know that?"

"Oh, I've got useless facts of my own, Buckley. Bit of a myths and legends phase as a kid. For a minute, anyway. Needless to say, the old man didn't approve."

"Asshole," Buck mumbles.

"Ancient Greeks were - " Tommy breaks off to yawn. "Were kinda fruity, you know?"

"I'll fight him."

"My hero," Tommy says. "My Heracles."

"Like the movie?"

Buck can feel Tommy's surprise.

"That's the Roman version, but yeah."

"Watched it w' Jee," he says.

"Evan. Don't fall asleep."

"'m not. Tell me - tell me about Hercules. Heracles. Keep me awake."

"Okay," Tommy says softly. "He was…hm. He was the son of Zeus and a mortal woman. I can't remember her name. Al-something, I think. He was strong, and brave, and clever…"

Buck can feel his eyes closing, can feel Tommy drifting too, but it's okay. A little power nap and they'll still have plenty of time before the moon rises.

"Baby," he hears, Tommy's voice rough with sleep, and he feels a gentle nudge. "Baby, wake up."

"Wha - " the moon is bright, and Buck is abruptly aware that every part of him that isn't touching Tommy is freezing cold. "Shit, we missed it? Oh my god. I can't believe we fell asleep!"

"I know," Tommy says. "I'm sorry. Long week, huh?"

"Yeah. Goddamnit. We could try again tomorrow? Tonight was the peak though, and I think there's gonna be cloud cover tomorrow. Shit."

"Hey, it's okay."

"No, but I really wanted to do this with you."

Tommy squeezes his hand and Buck manages not to shiver at the cold touch of his fingers. Shit, they really have to get out of here.

"There's always next year," Tommy says, and the casual way he says it makes Buck's disappointment fizzle and die in his stomach, replaced by that swooping feeling of love and want and ever so slightly disbelieving gratitude at how far they've come.

"Yeah," Buck agrees. "There's always next year."

[feeder86]

Feeder 86: The Top Ten

Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?

This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time. 

Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!

So, with that being said, let us begin...

#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!

#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.

#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.

#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.

#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.

#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.

#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...

If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.

#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…

#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet. 

Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…

Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!

Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…

#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion. 

With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control. 

The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…

So, there you have it! The the complete list!

This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...

So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.  

Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.

Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.

Happy 200 stories!

Feeder86

[darknight3904]

Every Breath You Take

Chapter One- The End of the World

Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader, Slowburn!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Living in Austin wasn't the most glamorous existence. At twenty years old, you still can't figure out what you want to do with your life. Unfortunately, fate steps in, leaving you to the mercy of the apocalypse and the kindness of your neighbor Joel and his brother Tommy.

General Warnings: This story is 18+. Included, but not limited to: Explicit smut (chapters will be marked with a ** ), canon typical violence, language, gore, and horror. Minor character death, child death, SA themes (not described in detail), suicide, and depression. These warnings may change at any time, as this story is not completed.

Reader, Joel, and Tommy are not polyamorous; the story explores romantic relationships with both Tommy and Joel, but not at the same time.

Word Count: 6.3k

The Last of Us Masterlist / Series Masterlist

This part depicts a suicide attempt. If you or anyone you know is struggling, check out this link.

@freythecrazyfae @greenwitchfromthewoods @amyispxnk @heartpatch I offer new Joel for you 🤌🏻

Friday, September 26, 2003, Austin, Texas

It’s your stomach that wakes you up. Hunger pains your middle half as you stumble out of bed towards the kitchen. The stove’s clock blinks 7:34 AM as you rummage through the near-empty fridge. 

You press the button on the answering machine as the frying pan for your eggs heats up. The voice of your dad fills your ears as you crack your first egg. 

“Hey, my trip is going well. Gotta big meeting later on today, and then I’m going to see Big Ben. I’ll pick up a cool souvenir for you.” 

You smile at the thought of your dad bringing back a silly t-shirt from London for you. He’d been away for a week now on a trip for the company he worked for, something about helping expand into England and possibly the rest of Europe. 

“There’s this awesome bakery here, the best pastries in the world…Oh also! My flight got moved, I should be back on Sunday around eight in the morning, I need you to ask Joel to borrow his truck, gonna need you to pick me up. That damn mechanic emailed me to say our car is totaled. See you soon, bye.” 

You groan in frustration. Of course, it was just your luck that the little sedan you shared with your dad was done. You had gone grocery shopping right before your dad left, and it’d gotten hit in the lot by some idiot who hadn’t even left a note to apologize. Hopefully, your neighbor Joel will let you borrow his truck; you’d probably have to pay him the gas money, but at least your dad wouldn’t be stuck in some overpriced taxi. 

You all but inhale your eggs before setting the coffee maker up to begin its morning brew. The loud yell of your neighbors has you scurrying out the front door, hopefully, you can catch Joel before he leaves for work. 

“Morning!” Sarah greets you when she sees you leaning over the fence 

“Good morning.” You smile and wave at her as she hops into the back seat 

You always had a bit of a soft spot for Sarah. You’d been an occasional babysitter for her for a few years now, and getting to watch her grow from snotty brat to confident teen filled your heart with joy.

Joel is loading some crates and a tool bag into the bed of the truck as he says something to the Adler’s. 

“Nice shirt.” 

You turn your head to see the man you’d been crushing on for nearly two years now. Tommy Miller flashes you a warm grin as he gestures to your worn-out t-shirt that says AC/DC. 

“Oh, um, thanks.” You squirm, feeling self-conscious in your sleep shorts and unruly bedhead. 

“You actually listen to them or did you just buy the shirt cuz’ it looks cool?”

Ugh. How’d he know you bought the shirt based on looks? You roll your eyes and try to retain your confidence when Tommy laughs a bit, seeing through your facade. 

You hadn’t even thought to put a bra on as you hunch your back a bit, trying to hide your chest away. Tommy looked so well put together, a nice button-down paired with a white tank sat on his body while his dark hair glistened in the sunlight, fuck he made you nervous. 

Regretfully, you tear your eyes away from him to stare at his older brother, “Hey Joel.” 

“Mornin’, you’re up early.” He takes note 

“Early bird gets the worm.” You chuckle, as he nods, “I was just wondering if I could borrow your truck on Sunday morning? My dad is coming home and our car is apparently toast after that hit-and-run I told you about.” 

“Shit, the one at the store? M’ real sorry.” Joel shakes his head, “I’ll let ya borrow the truck if you fill the tank up on the way back.” 

“Deal.” You smile 

Joel gives you a nod before turning back to his garage to load more stuff up. You’re about to turn away to disappear back inside but Tommy’s voice stops you. 

“Been a while since I saw you.” 

“Uh, yeah. Sarah’s last birthday party right?” You ask 

He nods, “Aren’t you supposed to be away in college? You’re like 22.” 

“20,” You correct him, “I’m taking a bit of a gap year or well, years. Gotta save some money first, plus I dunno what I want to do.” 

Tommy nods, “Don’t rush it, it’ll come to you eventually.” 

“Did you ever go to college?” You ask, thinking he might have some advice for figuring out your life. 

“Yeah, I did-” 

“You did one semester at the community college and dropped out after you failed your midterms.” Joel deadpans as he comes up from behind to slap his brother on the back.

“Well, I got experience.” He shrugs as Joel scoffs 

“Yeah, experience in failing.” Joel shakes his head, “Now. quit flirtin’ we gotta drop Sarah off before we go to the site.” 

Joel pulls his brother off, Tommy waving goodbye to you as your face burns, surely he wasn’t flirting with you. At whatever age he was, there was no way Tommy would be interested in you. A 20-year-old who had no current path in life.  You call out to them as you suddenly remember what Sarah had said to you the last time you had watched her for Joel a few nights back.

“Happy Birthday!” 

“Thanks.” Joel nods with a small smile on his back 

“He’s officially a dinosaur now!” Sarah yells out the open window of the backseat of the truck 

The engine turns over and you swear you hear him scold her and tell her “36 ain’t that old.” 

You spend your day cleaning the house and hanging laundry out on the line in the backyard. Around noon you walk down to the small Dollar General that’s half a mile from your home. There isn’t much in the way of actual groceries but you can make do with the bag of rice you find on the shelf along with a bag of frozen broccoli from the shitty freezer the store has. This, along with the chicken nuggets in the freezer should  hold you over until Sunday when your dad will be back to buy groceries with you.  

The loud screech of police sirens tears down the road as you watch three cars whizz by. 

“I don’t know what the world is coming to.” The cashier shakes her head as she rings your stuff up, “All day long they’ve been flying up and down that road.” 

“Some people are crazy.” You hum, and she nods in agreement as you toss a pack of gummy bears onto the counter.  

The walk back is short and peaceful as you soak in the last bits of summer heat Texas has to offer. Soon it will be in the low 50s and you’ll be bundled up in jeans and sweaters. You spend the rest of your day paging through the newspaper’s job section, hoping that something was out there that paid better than the shitty diner you were currently working at. Perhaps you could get a job at that new daycare center that opened last week. 

Despite the day being uneventful, you’re tired and by 11 you’re tucked into bed, a movie playing on the little TV you begged your dad for your room when you turned 15. You’re dozing when the loud knock has you jolting from your bed. The stove’s green numbers blink 11:47 as you pass the kitchen.

You pad down the steps, glancing at the baseball bat that leans near the front door, you had placed it there as a sense of security, you didn’t think you’d actually need it but who the hell was knocking this late? 

You inch the door open, keeping the chain secured and the bat hidden behind your back. Instead of an axe murderer, you’re met with the disheveled look of the block's favorite single dad. Yes, Joel was more loved by the neighbors than your dad was. After all, your dad didn’t offer to fix people’s fences and sinks for free. 

“I thought you were like Freddy Kruger or something.” You say, undoing the lock and opening the door fully. 

“Y’watchin’ too many horror movies, kid,” Joel says with a sigh

More like not enough. You love horror films. 

“Listen, Tommy got himself in trouble. I gotta go get him. Could you sit in my house with Sarah? She’s already sleepin’ but I don’t wanna leave her alone this late.” He asks, “You can sleep on the couch til’ I get back. I’ll even pay you if you want.” 

It's an easy decision, at this point Joel doesn’t even need to pay you to watch Sarah, you love hanging out with her. But, the idea of a possible extra ten dollar bill in your purse just for sleeping on the couch is hard to turn down. 

 Joel reminds you to lock your home’s door as he leads you over to his house and through the front door

“What kinda trouble is Tommy in?” You ask curiously as you breathe in the warm scent that was Joel’s home. A hint of vanilla from the candle you gave Sarah for her birthday along with the scent of what could only be described as man.  

“Dumbass got arrested for punching some dude. I gotta stop at an ATM to get the cash for his bail.” Joel sighs as he rummages around a closet

“So much for your birthday being about you.” You laugh as he tosses a blanket at you 

“Tell me about it. Fuckers been driving me nuts since he could walk.” Joel sighs, “My number is on the fridge, there's some leftover chicken wings if you’re hungry. Sarah won’t bother you-” 

You nod, “I’ll be fine. Been watching her for like six years now, I don’t think she’s gonna start giving me trouble now.” 

You shoo Joel out the door and lock it behind him before sinking into the worn leather of the couch. It’s already dim but you switch the lamp on the table beside you off, tossing your flip phone onto the coffee table. The couch smells like Joel, a hint of cologne followed by that musk men gave off. As if it’s magic, your eyes flutter shut, sleeping stealing you away. 

You wake up to Sarah shaking you awake. 

“Wake up.” She whispers 

“Sarah…Go back to bed, your dad's out with your uncle.” You groan, trying to pull the blanket over your head 

“The Adler’s dog got out. I’m taking him back,” Sarah says 

You groan again but stand up when you hear the front door open. So much for Sarah not causing any trouble. You wrap the soft blanket around your body, slip your sneakers on, and follow her out. Cool air flows through the thin material of your pyjama pants and T-shirt. You sleepily watch as Sarah pulls the dog towards the front door. God, you wish she’d hurry up, you loved the girl but you also loved your sleep. 

All of a sudden, the stupid dog twists out of her grasp and sprints off into the darkness, leaving the collar in Sarah’s hands.

“Mercy!” Sarah yells as the black and white dog books it into the night 

“Well, shit.” You mumble, walking up to her watching the ball of black and white fluff disappear into the night.

“Now what?” She asks 

You glance at the Adler’s open door and back in the direction where the dog ran off. 

“Uh, I guess we're going to tell them we lost their dog. Maybe Mr. Adler can come help us look for him.” 

Sarah nods and turns on her heel to walk into the home. 

Something isn’t quite right when you walk into the Adler’s house. You’d only been there a few times but something was amiss. The air felt almost heavy as you followed Sarah closely. She calls for Mrs. Adler softly and you stop in the hallway, something red catches your eye on the carpet as Sarah walks towards the kitchen. You crouch down and stare at the spot, it looks like blood but you’re not entirely sure. 

A loud scream as you jump and the little swinging doors that lead to the kitchen slam open. 

“Run, Run!” Sarah screeches as you stumble backwards.

An inhuman growl reaches your ears as you shuck the blanket from your shoulders, grabbing Sarah’s arm and pushing her ahead of whatever it was. Had the dog circled back through the back door? Did it have rabies? All you knew was that- 

What the actual fuck?! 

Sarah pulls you out the front door and you get a glimpse of Nana Adler running towards you at an inhuman speed. A loud screech fills your ears as you and Sarah scramble down the walkway. 

You keep your grasp firm on Sarah’s forearm, pulling her towards Joel’s home, eager to get inside and bolt the door.

Headlights illuminate you as tires screech, Joel jumps out before the truck even stops and grabs Sarah from you, hugging her and asking her if she’s hurt. 

“Joel!” another voice yells

You spin around at the sound of Tommy’s voice. Nana Adler is sprinting towards you, something white dangles from her mouth as she wheezes and growls. 

“What’re we doing Joel?!” 

You notice the rifle in Tommy’s hands as he hesitates to take aim. What the fuck was happening right now? 

Sarah’s shirl scream fills your ear as Joel steps in front of both of you, his strong arm swings a wrench, hitting Nana Adler before she can reach either of you. 

“You killed her…” Sarah breathes when the old woman doesn’t get up 

You stumble backward away from the scene, nearly tripping over your feet and the curb of the sidewalk as you bump into Tommy’s chest. 

“Get in the truck.” He says softly, ushering you to the vehicle 

“W-Wait we can’t leave her…we gotta call the police…” 

You’re in shock as you stare at the body, Tommy pushes you into the backseat and slams the door, Joel does the same for Sarah as you run your hands over your face. 

Sarah is asking her dad questions as Tommy speeds down the road. You don’t know what's happening. Just ten minutes ago you’d been blissfully asleep, cuddled up on Joel’s couch and now you’d watched Joel kill an old woman who was trying to…well you weren’t really sure what she was trying to do. 

The truck is illuminated with an orange blaze as you pass a house completely engulfed in flames. You watch wide-eyed as what must be a dozen police officers and even three fire trucks speed past the home, not even dropping a bit in speed. 

“That’s Jimmy’s place…” Tommy trails off as he stares at the home that's caving in on itself 

Sarah reaches over to you, grabbing your hand. You glance at her, she’s never looked younger than she does right now. A frightened 14-year-old girl stares at you while her father and uncle debate where they should go, Joel suggesting Mexico of all places. 

“I don’t have my ID.” You muster out, thinking of your wallet and license that sits abandoned in your purse at home, “I-I can’t go to Mexico…”

“We’ll figure it out.” Tommy says, “We gotta get somewhere more remote first.” 

The truck slows and you whip your attention to the front where a man is waving from the side of the road. A woman, probably his wife, is holding a kid in her arms as she yells, their minivan a smoking mess behind them. 

“What’re you doing?” Joel asks suddenly

“They got a kid.” Tommy reasons as he begins to pull off to the shoulder of the road 

“So do we.” Joel reminds his brother, his icy tone sending goosebumps down your spine. 

You watch the exchange as Tommy looks at his brother like he’s lost it. 

“Keep going.” Joel orders 

Even in the dark, you see the regret on Tommy’s face as he accelerates, the strangers screaming for him to come back. 

You squeeze Sarah’s hand, pulling her closer to you as Tommy and Joel curse when they see the highway is blocked by bumper-to-bumper traffic. 

“I’m scared,” Sarah whispers as you run a hand soothingly over her curly hair 

“It’s okay.” You affirm, “We’re gonna be okay.” 

You’re not sure if you’re saying it to her or to yourself as Tommy drives the truck right off the road and into the field.

“Fuck!” Tommy curses 

You hear the whirl of a helicopter, a huge line of cars and trucks and god knows what else blocks your way. 

“It’s the fucking army.” Joel groans, “Go north, we cut through town.” 

You click yours and Sarah’s seatbelt as Tommy gets back on the road. 

The town is a mess. People are screaming and running all over, cars are running lights and smashing into each other. You squeeze your eyes shut, praying this is all some bad dream and you’re still on the couch sleeping. The sound of glass smashing as you flinch, as you wildly look out the windows. A huge crowd tumbles out of the movie theater, Joel yelling for Tommy to reverse as he rests a hand on Sarah’s knee. 

You watch as people jump on other people, it looks like they’re biting them and your eyes widen. Seriously, what the fuck was happening? 

“Dad, Dad!” Sarah yells 

You spin around to look out the back window, above you an airplane five times the size of your home is rapidly descending right for you, flames flying off its wings. 

“Foreword, GO!” You scream at Tommy, leaning forward to smack his shoulder. 

A loud scream fills the car, maybe it's from you, maybe it’s Sarah’s, perhaps even Tommy’s or Joel’s but the last thing you feel is your face smacking the back of Tommy’s seat before it goes dark. 

The first time you met the Millers, you were 14. Freshly widowed, your father had decided to sell your childhood home and move from the countryside into the Austin suburbs. You of course didn’t have much say in it and got stuck packing your things into a UHaul and following him.

You had been struggling with a box of books when it had been effortlessly scooped from your arms. A tall man with dark brown messy curls stood in front of you. 

“I got it.” He says confidently

“Thank you.” You huff tiredly, you had been unloading boxes all day and you still weren’t even halfway there. 

You scoop up a lamp and lead him towards the house. 

“M’ Joel. I live next door.” He nods to his home 

You give him your name with a small smile as you hold the front door for him. 

You hadn’t noticed it, but a little girl, maybe no more than eight years old, was clinging to the back of his shirt, shyly staring up at you.  

“Oh, this is Sarah, my daughter.” Joel cranes his neck to see what his kid is doing behind him

You hear your father come down the steps, he and Joel introduce themselves to each other as Joel walks off into the house with him, leaving Sarah standing nervously in the entryway. 

“Hi, Sarah.” You couch down to her level

“Hi.” She greets 

You glance down at the stuffed rabbit she has tucked under her arm. 

“Does your rabbit have a name?” You ask 

“Mr. Peanut.” She confidently says as she rocks back and forth while staring at you with big brown eyes that match her father’s.

“Well, Sarah. I think we’re about to be great friends, I happen to think Mr. Peanut is the perfect name for a rabbit.” 

“Hey! Wake up!” 

The scent of smoke fills your lungs as you try to get your bearings. You’re upside down and Tommy’s arms are linked under your armpits, pulling you from the now flipped truck. He hauls you to your feet and gives you a once-over. 

“You alright?” He asks, “Nothing broken?” 

“I’m okay.” You mumble, wiggling your limbs.

“Nose is bleedin’, I think it’s alright though,” Tommy says quickly

You touch your face, and sure enough, your nose is gushing like a fountain down your shirt, Tommy pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to you. 

“C’mon, let's move.” He motions 

You both barely get two steps towards the other side of the vehicle where Sarah and Joel are before a flaming police car slams into the overturned truck, cutting you and Tommy off from them. 

“Go to the river! We’ll find a way, Get her out of here, Joel, Go!” Tommy yells over the roar of the flames 

Through the gaps in the cars, you watch Joel scoop Sarah up, she must’ve been injured in the crash. Tommy is saying your name and something else but you can barely register what's happening. All around you, the world is falling apart, people are screaming as others climb on top of them, snarling and wheezing. 

It’s the motion of Tommy waving something in front of your blurred vision that has you coming to. 

“Can you shoot?” 

He’s holding a silver revolver out in front of you. You’d ask where it came from but you already know, after all this is Texas, everyone and their mother kept a revolver in their glove compartment. 

“Look, cock this back,” He pulls the top bit of the gun back towards you, “Point, and pull the trigger.” 

You nod, shaking hands reaching for the firearm. 

“There’s six bullets in there, don’t start shootin’ unless I tell ya.” He commands 

You’re practically glued to Tommy as he leads the way through the chaos. You wish you could squeeze your eyes shut but then you’d be tripping over your now untied shoelaces. 

You’re not sure where the river is but you pass many people who are pinned down by others. Lucky for you their attackers seem to be too focused to pay much mind to you and Tommy. Your right-hand reaches out and fists the back of his shirt when one stands up about 25 feet away, staring right at both of you. 

“Shit.” He mumbles 

“What now?” You whisper 

The man stumbles towards you, a low growl leaves his lips, his eyes are red, and his skin is pale; a deep bite mark is on his neck, blood flowing from it onto his once clean white shirt. 

“Don’t move.” Tommy commands, his rifle raised to point at the man, “Let us pass.” 

Then, all at once, the man begins sprinting at you both, a loud scream leaves your lips, and Tommy’s rifle goes off once. The stranger crumples to the ground, blood and brains oozing onto the pavement as you stare down at him. 

“Let’s go, fast, Gotta find Joel,” Tommy says, stepping over the now-deceased man before offering his hand to you 

“You killed that man…” You trail off, hesitant to take it.

Tommy rolls the man onto his back, long white tendrils of…something squirming out of his mouth, weaving across his teeth and down his cracked lips. 

“That ain’t no man,” Tommy comments, “Not one I’ve seen before.” 

Tommy all but drags you through town, weaving his way through back alleys and even through a busted open shop window, you don’t let go of his hand once the whole time. 

The grassy slope that leads down to the riverside is a bit slippery from yesterday's rain. You can’t see Joel or Sarah yet but you’re sure they’re around here somewhere. Tommy hears it before you, the sound of Joel’s voice. He drops your hand and takes off in the direction of his brother and niece. 

You stumble after him, tripping and landing on the muddy ground when you step on your laces. You groan, your body now caked in mud as you stand back up. The deafening sound of gunfire has you freezing. The sound of an automatic gun fires, followed by another shot that sounds like Tommy’s rifle. 

A few more steps and the riverbank comes into view, Tommy stands there, illuminated by the headlights of what looks like a military vehicle. Another dead body lays at his feet, and a soldier, covered in gear, lays face down in the muck. 

Your feet freeze when you see what Tommy has been staring at. Joel is hunched over Sarah, his hands and lower arms drenched in blood from the gaping wound in her stomach. He’s begging her to be okay as he yells for Tommy to help him. 

It feels like you’re on a roller coaster the way your stomach is sinking as you watch Joel rock back and forth with Sarah, her limp body and empty eyes staring back at him. It’s a scene that's bound to haunt you all for the rest of your days. 

Several snarls have you spinning around, Tommy calling for Joel. You’re not sure where they are but those monsters from Main Street are coming for you all. 

“Joel, get up,” Tommy says, his eyes scanning the area warily

Joel remains still, his hand skimming Sarah’s face, closing her eyes for the last time. 

“Joel!” Tommy yells, stomping towards his brother to try and pull him to his feet, “We gotta go.” 

Somehow Tommy hauls Joel to his feet, his arm coming under his brother’s to support him. Tommy turns to you, his rifle slung over his shoulder, 

“Let’s get moving north, get away from people.” 

Your body moves on autopilot, following his orders. As you walk away from the gruesome scene, you hear Joel begin to wail Sarah’s name as Tommy drags him away from his dead daughter. 

You’re not sure when you started crying, all you know is that your eyes are bleary, and warm salty tears are mixing with the dried blood from your nose. The three of you were currently sitting in an unfinished house, part of some new development that was being constructed for rich idiots looking to live near the capital. 

The area was empty when you stumbled across it, unfinished homes looming in the brisk morning air, just barely illuminated by the sunrise. 

You sit next to Tommy as he tries to get a better look at your nose which is aching from earlier. He wipes at your tears with his fingers before declaring your nose should be fine. 

Joel hasn’t moved an inch from where Tommy dropped him. His back rests against the wall across from you, his knees are drawn up to his chest, and his head is cradled in his hands as he sits there still as a statue. 

“There’s a porta potty outside, gonna go take a piss, I’ll be back,” Tommy mumbles, standing up 

You rise to meet him, the least you could do is let Joel have a bit of privacy to mourn his daughter. 

“I’ll come with you.” 

You kick at the brown dirt and rocks under your feet, listening to the sounds of birds chirping. A stray cat trots by, unfazed by what has happened in Austin as it glances at you for a moment before continuing on.

The porta-potty stinks. You hover over the seat, thighs burning in exertion from the awkward angle, you are not interested in getting some horrid disease from this toilet as you pee. A sigh leaves your lips; at least the toilet paper was clean. 

The sound of a gun going off has you yanking your filthy pants back up and clamoring out of the porta potty.

You race back to the house to see Joel flat out on his back, Tommy kneeling next to him, his hands holding Joel’s head. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Tommy scolds Joel as he holds him still to get a better look at the wound.

A low groan from Joel is all that comes in response as you stare at what looks like a bullet graze. Your eyes fall to the discarded rifle that is a few feet from his right arm. 

“You ain’t dying on my watch.” Tommy huffs, pulling his button-down off to press to the side of Joel’s face. 

You piece together what has happened, Joel has just tried to kill himself, just hours after Sarah had died. 

“We have to leave, he needs stitches,” Tommy says, “There’s a truck parked behind the house, help me get his ass there.” 

Joel is partly unconscious as you and Tommy drag him around to the back of the house, Tommy smashes the driver’s window in and unlocks the car. The two of you heave Joel into the backseat before climbing in yourselves. 

You watch silently as Tommy hotwires the truck. You’re not sure how he knows how to do that but you’re glad he does. 

The truck speeds down the road as your brain churns, 

“I don’t think the hospitals will be open.” 

“Red Cross, maybe the military will have something, just gotta figure out where,” Tommy responds, eyes fixed on the road 

“If there is even still a military.” You mumble hopelessly

Tommy doesn’t respond and instead continues to drive. 

It takes nearly all day but eventually, you spot it, a military blockade of sorts and a few tents painted with that red and white medical cross. It’s sitting on a high school campus in the football stadium that says “Home of the Austin Anteaters.” 

Tommy stops the truck when five soldiers come out, all armed to the teeth and each wearing a gas mask.

They have you both pull Joel from the car who resists, mumbling a resounding no as Tommy gestures to his head and the wound on his side from last night. 

One of the soldiers stares at the three of you as if they’re deciding whether or not you’re worth it. Then, they’re motioning and someone shows up with a gurney for Joel. They wheel him away and you’re left with Tommy. 

“If any of you are bit or scratched, we shoot. Doesn’t matter what wounds he or either of you have. Better to tell us now instead of in there.” 

“We’re both clean.” Tommy says for the both of you, “Promise.” 

You nod, trying not to shake as they lead you past the guards and into the stadium. 

“This way, miss.” One man says, leading you into one tent before Tommy is led to another. 

A female soldier stands in the tent, a clipboard in hand, she jots down your name and age before telling you to strip, her face obscured by the gas mask she wears. 

“Excuse me?” You stare at her like she’d lost it 

“I need to make sure you haven't been bitten. We think that’s how the infection spreads. Until we can get some form of device to detect it, strip searches are how we’re keeping everyone safe.” She explains, “Please remove your clothes or I will have you escorted out of the zone.” 

You huff a breath of air, she’s serious about this. You pull your mud-caked, blood-soaked shirt off before dropping your pants as well. 

“Undergarments as well.” She prompts boringly

Tommy is standing on the other side of the tent when you emerge. Like you, he has a bag tucked under his arm, according to the soldier it was filled with an MRE along with bedding materials and water bottles.

“You alright?” He asks as the two of you are led to whatever temporary lodging the military had set up. 

“Fine, just wasn’t expecting to be strip searched.” 

“Tell me about it, the guy back seemed way too eager for me to drop my pants.”

 

You roll your eyes, his joke not landing the way he wanted it to. 

As it turns out the “housing” the woman mentioned was just rows and rows of tents set up next to each other. The soldier leading you drops you off at a tent, hanging the clipboard off one of the tent polls before wandering off. 

“Did they tell you when Joel would be done?” You ask, entering the small tent, tossing your stuff onto one of the cots 

“Said they’d bring him to us provided he cleared the safety checks.” Tommy shrugs 

He sits across from you on his own cot, pulling open the MRE that had been stuffed into his arms earlier. 

“Chicken pesto and pasta.” He reads aloud, “One of the better ones.” 

“You eat a lot of these when you were serving?” You ask, staring at yours which says chili macaroni.

“Yeah. Don’t eat the peanut butter they give ya, it’ll give you the shits for days.” He says 

“Noted.” You nod 

That night, it’s quieter than you thought it’d be for a field of tents filled with strangers. You lay on your side, unmoving trying to process what has happened, what you’ve witnessed. A pit of despair fills your stomach as you think of your father. Trapped in England, no way back to the States. Shit, he could be dead right now and there was no way for you to know. You think of little Sarah and the awful involuntary sounds she made when Joel tried picking her up. 

At first, it's quiet, you barely hear it but slowly it becomes louder and louder. The sounds of crying, soft sniffles at first before they turn into full-blown sobs. 

You turn on your side to see Tommy, curled up under his thin blanket, pillow stuffed under his head as he cries into it. You’re not sure what to do, do you turn away and let him cry in peace? Do you get up to comfort him? You feel numb. Like your brain can’t reconcile everything you’ve seen. 

A choking sound comes from the other side of the tent, and you shift, reaching for the plastic water bottle that sits on the ground. Prickly turf tickles your bare feet as you take two steps over, closing the distance between you and your companion. 

“Water?” You whisper 

Tommy turns, sitting up, wiping at his red eyes like he didn’t want you to know he’d been not so quietly sobbing. He pats the cot, gesturing for you to sit beside him. 

“Thanks.” He croaks, gulping it down. 

“I can’t sleep.” You admit 

He nods, “Me either.” 

You remain next to him, your fingers fiddling with the caked mud on your pants. You wish that military lady would’ve given you something to change into. At least you weren’t alone, Tommy was still in his clothes from yesterday. 

Your mind swims with ideas of how you might possibly reach out to your father. You can’t come to any actual conclusions though. Instead, you just keep seeing Sarah’s dead body and how Joel had called out to her as Tommy pulled him away. 

You remember the first time you really met Tommy Miller. It’d been a Friday in July and your home’s central air conditioning had broken on what felt like the hottest day ever. You were rotting in the front yard because at least the outside had a breeze, unlike the stagnant air of the house. You’d called your dad about a million times to tell him the stupid unit had died right after he left for work, of course, you’d gotten sent right to voicemail each time. 

“That ice pop is gonna be mush if you don’t eat it soon.” 

Your head whips to your left, and your neighbor's brother leans against the fence smiling at you. You’d seen him around before in the past few years, Joel had said his name was Tim? Tyler? Something with a T. All you knew was that he’d show up incrementally, sometimes to watch Sarah, other times to give his older brother shit. 

“Yeah well, so am I.” You huff 

He flashes you another warm smile, “And why is a pretty girl like you, melting away in the sun?” 

“AC went up in flames. At least there's a breeze out here.” You shrug lazily 

“Where is it? I’ll take a look.” He offers, “No charge, I promise.”

You eye him curiously unsure of how to respond to this practical stranger offering to fix the AC unit for free. 

“No thanks, I’ll wait for Joel to come back.” 

Last summer Joel had revived it for you and your dad, he could do it again. Besides, you didn’t even know his brother that well. And sure, this brother was pretty hot but you were also pretty sure he was like 24, far too old to be looking at you, even if you had been 18 for nearly 6 months now. 

“He won’t be back till’ 10. You’ll be sweating your ass off for another six hours.” He tells you. 

Fuck, you can’t take another six minutes, let alone six hours.

“Fine.” You relent 

Tommy, not Tyler or Tim, as it turns out is nearly as good as Joel was with the air conditioning. It takes about twenty minutes and a good kick to the unit’s side but he gets it going again. You race through the front door and hold your hands over the vents, laughing with delight when the ice-cold air hits your skin. 

“I’ll take it that sound means I was successful,” Tommy calls from the front porch 

You stop in the kitchen and pour him a glass of the sickly sweet lemonade you had mixed up last night before rejoining him outside. 

“You’re a lifesaver.” You grin 

Tommy mockingly bows and the lemonade shifts, dribbling down his fingers to the porch. He straightens and takes a long sip of the beverage, 

“Almost better than a beer.” 

Now you know he’s bullshitting you, you give him a playful shove and he smiles down at you, his dark curls glistening as he moves. Your face heats up, and a fuzzy feeling worms its way across your chest as he speaks again, 

“Let me know if ya ever need anythin’ else, I’ll be over here more often.” 

Next Part

Series Masterlist

Twas' the night before TLOU season 2...Joel, stay away from the golf course, please!

Brand new story, hope you all enjoy. :)

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

[cas-kingdom]

Hii!

How about “Why are you mad?” for 911 Lonestar? I loveeee how you write Owen💛

A/N: It just seemed right to stick Judd in here.

“Why are you mad at me? Just—try to lie still and breathe.”

“I am breathing. If I wasn’t, I would be dead.”

T.K. chuckled, shrugging in defeat. “Okay, well, just relax, and—ow! Y/N, don’t hit me!”

“Don’t tell me to relax!”

“This isn’t my fault!”

It hadn’t really been a hit, more of a feeble slap at his shoulder. Sat on the floor of the fire station’s gym, one stretched-out leg bent at an awkward angle, you didn’t have much energy to do more than that. Still, your brother hadn’t expected it, sat beside you with his medical bag open beside him, helping you.

You groaned and fell backwards, resting your head on the cool ground and covering your eyes with your forearms. “I know,” you said, “it’s Judd’s. But he’s too far away for me to hit.”

Judd, who had been lingering silently a couple feet away from the bickering Strand siblings, unsure really when and how to intervene but strongly feeling a duty to stay, tossed his arms up in protest. "Wha—hey, now! Why’s it my fault?”

You turned your glare, thick with accusation, irritation, and no small amount of pain, to the older firefighter. “You broke my leg, Judd!”

“I didn’t break—"Judd stopped, his eyes darting to T.K, voice suddenly hesitant. "She’s not broken it, T.K., has she?”

“Nah, her kneecap's just dislocated.”

You didn't feel like your kneecap was just dislocated.

Judd nodded once in assurance, crossing his arms over his chest. "See? And I didn’t dislocate your knee, little lady. So, you can stick your sass where the sun don’t shine!”

“I got him! I got him! I got Cap!” Mateo came sprinting into the gym, practically skidding around the corner, his breathing coming in panicked gasps. Behind him, Owen was just as fast, appearing in the door with terrified concern etched across his face.

“What happened?” he demanded, his eyes scanning the room.

You, T.K., and Judd stared right back at him, like deer in headlights.

Judd turned to Mateo. “What the hell did you tell him, Chavez?”

Mateo’s jaw dropped. “That—that she broke her leg.”

“Oh, sweet Jesus—”

“She’s not broken her leg, Dad,” T.K. assured Owen as he came to kneel beside his kids. “It's a minor dislocation. I can set it in a moment. So you can cancel the 9-1-1 you’ve probably sent Tommy and Nance. I’ve got this, I promise.”

Owen reached out to push your braid over your shoulder. “You alright, Sunshine?”

“No. My leg hurts and I hit T.K. and now he's gonna snap my leg back in place like I'm jenga.”

Owen smiled. Trust his daughter to be more upset about the fact she’d hit her favourite person in the world than the agony in her leg.

“How’d you even manage this?” he asked as T.K. rubbed your back, no apology necessary.

Judd was quicker to intercept this time, rushing forward before you could accuse him once again. “Captain, I’ma be the first to admit, I may have stuck my leg out when Y/N was passin’, ‘cause she called me a headless pigeon with a Texan accent, which I don't even know what that means—”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, even more so when Owen quirked an eyebrow in your direction.

“—and, yeah, she damn near flew over my leg, but—but! T.K. says she ain’t broken anything, just dislocated. And, you know, it could—well, it could be worse.”

“I do not accept that apology,” you said. “And you are a headless pigeon with a Texan accent, so you better bring me five tubs of Ben and Jerry’s later while I recover, else I’m changing your contact name in my phone. And everyone else's."

Lone Star Masterpost

send me the first sentence of a fanfic and i’ll write the next five, except i don’t know when to stop writing so i guarantee there’ll be more than five

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Baked Like A Cake

Fandom: The Last of Us

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You bake weed muffins for Gail...and Joel accidentally eats some.

A/N: in the same universe as A Happy Ending? and this is before Eugene's death.

The Last of Us Masterlist

Because you were one of the resident bakers in Jackson, Gail requested for something....special.

After Eugene passed by with a bag of weed, you now had everything you needed to make Gail's special baked goods.

It didn't take you long. Eugene had already prepped the weed for you so now all you had to do was bake it into muffins.

You toss in the weed along with the dry ingredients and then pour the wet ingredients in. You mix everything together so that they're a smooth, harmonious batter.

It doesn't take you long to pour them into the muffin tins and slide them into the oven. Thirty minutes later, they're on the resting rack and you've decided to take a nap on the couch.

By the time you wake up, there's a blanket on you and you hear voices in the kitchen.

You sit up, stretching your arms up, "James?" you call out for your son.

"Here, mom!" he calls from the kitchen. You stand from the couch with a groan and slowly make your way to the kitchen, waiting for the rest of your body to get in gear.

When you enter the threshold, your entire body feels like it's been dumped in cold water, "No!"

James, as well as Joel, are munching the muffins you made, but freeze at your outburst.

"What? What's wrong?"

You rush to Joel and James, swatting the muffins out of their hands, "How many did you guys eat?"

"Two each, I think," Joel answers in his usual gruff voice, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

You groan and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Those were weed muffins for Gail."

Joel's brows raise and eyes widen, "Weed muf-baby, why the hell are you making weed muffins?"

"Because Gail asked me to! I figured it'd be a way to pay her back for the trades I've done with her and Eugene." You sigh and run your hands down your face, "Fucking hell, guys." You then turn to James, holding his face, "How do you feel, honey?"

He shrugs, "Fine so far. How long does it usually take for the effects to set in?"

"Depends. Can be thirty minutes, can be two hours. I need to keep an eye on you boys."

James rolls his eyes, "Relax, this isn't the first time I've had weed."

You look at him with a cocked brow and he holds his hands up, "I smoked with Jesse and Eugene a few years ago! That was when I slept over his and said it because we were playing cards all night."

"James Ezra L/N, I swear," you stop and shake your head, "Fine. Fine. But just stay home for the rest of the day, okay? Don't want you 'causing trouble."

"Mom, I'll be-" you give him The Look and he immediately shuts up. The man may be thirty, but he still finds you scary sometimes.

He then excuses himself and heads to his room, leaving you with Joel. You fully turn to face him, "And you?"

He gives you a lazy smile, "Not my first time either, sweetheart, but I'm old, so who knows how this'll effect me this time around."

You snort and peck his lips, "You can stay here if you want so I can watch you, or go back to yours. I don't mind either."

His hands go to your hips and pulls you close, his mouth hovering over yours, "Hmmm...kinda like the idea of you takin' care of me." He closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders to keep him close as you kiss him back. He breaks away with a gasp to start peppering kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

His fingers start playing with the buttons of your flannel, "Can I-"

BAM!

Your front door slams open and, "Hey, Joel!" Tommy bursts into your home.

"Uncle Joooeeel!" Ben hollers out and you hear Ellie chuckling. You can't help but snicker at Joel's immediate frown that appears on his face.

Tommy enters the kitchen with Ellie, Ben in her arms, "Yeah figured you'd be here," the younger brother says with a smirk. He nods to you, "How you doin', Y/N?"

"Fine, Tommy. Here to steal Joel away from me?"

"Yeah, sorry, but Maria and I need to talk to him about reinforcing certain areas of the town."

Ellie puts Ben down and zeroes in on the muffins, "Oh nice!" she picks one up, "Can I-"

"NO!" you and Joel yell out, startling Ellie, Tommy, and Ben.

Ellie looks at you two confused, "Shit, sorry. They're just muffins." She places it back down onto the rack.

You clear your throat, "Those are special muffins for Gail."

The teen looks at you confused, "Special? What the hell does that-ooohhh." She looks back at the muffins in surprise, "These are weed muffins?!"

"Yes," you bring your attention to Tommy, "And I don't think you should have that discussion with Joel today considering that he and James unknowingly indulged themselves in said weed muffins," you gesture to the remaining ones.

Tommy bursts out laughing, "Oh god. You serious? I didn't think you cared for that stuff anymore, brother."

Joel gave his younger brother his usual grumpy frown, "I didn't know they had weed in them when I ate them. But I feel fine, we can have that meeting."

Tommy shakes his head, "Nah, it's fine. Go, uh, relax and vibe or whatever."

Joel make his usual pose, hip popped out and hands on his hips, "Tommy, I'm fine. Come on."

"No, no, I'm starting to see your eyes get a little red and hazy. Don't think you'd be in the right state to discuss important matters," he picks up Ben, "We'll talk tomorrow when, hopefully, you're more sober." He whispers into Ben's ear and Ben says, "Bye Uncle Pothead!" and waves at Joel as Tommy carries him out.

You and Ellie burst into a fit of giggles while Joel continues to stand there looking like his grumpy self.

You wrap your arms around him again, "Relax, honey. Go lay down. I'm going to deliver these to Gail before anyone else," you eye Ellie who holds her hands up, "eats one."

You grab a container from the cabinet and place the remaining muffins inside. Ellie watches as Joel grumbles to himself, marching over to your couch and plopping onto it.

Once he's settled, she whispers to you, "Can you teach me how to make them?"

You snort, "Absolutely not."

"Oh come on!" she whines, "Why not?"

"Joel will kill me."

It's her turn to snort and roll her eyes, "Please, you know he'd never do that. I've already smoked weed before and yes, Joel knows, but still! I hate the smell of it, so if I can still have without the smell, it'd be great."

You shake your head, "You have to ask Joel about it."

"I'm seventeen years old!"

"Which means you're not an adult yet, so you need his permission."

"That's such bullshit and you know it!" she says much louder, loud enough for Joel to hear.

"Hey! Why're you yellin' at her like that?"

You walk into the living room with Ellie in tow, "She wants me to teach her how to made weed muffins."

"Nope."

"What the fuck you guys?!"

You shrug and Joel remains silent and unrelenting. With neither of you budging, Ellie storms out of your house cursing under her breath.

Joel groans leaning further into the couch, "I don't want to deal with that today."

You go over to him and kiss him on the head, "You can talk to her tomorrow."

"All this teenager shit is giving me whiplash."

You laugh, "Congrats. That's what happens when you're a parent. Although, I'm glad James wasn't as chaotic as Ellie is."

"Not helpful, darlin'."

"Didn't say I was helping," you shoot him a wink, "Be back in a few."

"Alright," Joel sighs as he slowly starts melting into the couch, his body growing limp.

It doesn't take you long to head over to Gail and Eugene's. The walk was also nice, considering it's almost fall. The air getting a lot more cool now. No more sweltering summers.

Both Eugene and Gail are sitting on their porch smoking when you appear, "I come bearing gifts."

"Already?" Eugene sets his blunt onto the ash tray beside him. You go up the few steps that lead up to their porch and you hand him the container.

"There's some missing because James and Joel unknowingly ate a few while I was napping."

Gail cackles, "How are they?"

"It's not their first time, but when I left James was in his room and Joel was melting into the couch."

"Could do him some good," Gail murmurs, and opens the container, immediately taking a bite into a muffin.

She nods, "This is delicious. Can't even taste the weed."

Eugene takes a bite from Gail's muffin and chews. It takes him a moment but then he also nods in approval, "Good shit, sweetheart. We'll definitely be inquiring for more soon."

You laugh, "Sounds good. You two have a good rest of your night," you give them a wave and exit their porch, heading back to your home.

When you re-enter your home, you check on Joel. You sit by him and run your fingers through his hair, "Baby? You okay?"

"I don't want to open my eyes or else it'll feel like I'm flying." he mumbles and you muffle your laughter behind your hand.

"Okay. Have the munchies hit you yet?"

"Not yet, but can I get some water?"

"Sure. Lemme check on James first."

"'Kay," he mumbles and you go up to check on James. You peer into his room and he's laying on his bed, reading. Seemingly unaffected.

"You good, honey?"

"Yup" he gives you a thumbs up without looking up from his book, "Just feel a little floaty but alright overall."

You giggle, "Sounds good."

"How's Joel?"

"He also feels floaty and has merged into the couch."

That gets your son's attention, "Really?!" He stands and grabs the polaroid camera that he found on patrol a few weeks ago, "I need to take a picture of this."

You follow him to the living room with a shake of your head, "He's going to scold you."

You stand aside as James aims the camera towards Joel who's very sprawled into the couch and looking so...calm.

At the flash, Joel winces, "The fuck is that?"

He opens his eyes, only squinting, to see James shaking the photo, "Did you take a picture?"

James beams down at the older man, "Yup. Ellie's gonna get a kick outta this."

"Jesus Christ," Joel mumbles and hiding his face, "I don't like this."

You quickly get him a glass of water and hand it to him, "Well, you have to ride through the symptoms, honey. And let this be a lesson, ask before you eat anything I make."

"Yeah, yeah," Joel grumbles as he sits up and gulps the water down.

[slimybeth69]

Hungry Man

Chapter 3- I Know The End 6.7k

Chapter Summary- Close my eyes, fantasize Three clicks and I'm home When I get back I'll lay around Then I'll get up and lay back down Romanticize a quiet life There's no place like my room

warnings/tags: dark&sneaky!Joel/crazy&unhinged!reader, DDDNE (this chapter may be hard to read for some- please be mindful of the content you consume), dubious ethics, Joel being protective, slightly mean!Joel if you squint but mostly gentle!Joel, reader goes through it again in this chapter (get used to it, sorry) brief mentions of blood.

a/n: hi. I hope you like this chapter :)

The house is so quiet compared to the mall. There was always something making sound– animals or insects, the structure itself shifting and settling after years of decomposing. There wasn’t a completely silent night in the last eight months and now Joel doesn’t know how to fall asleep anymore. 

Even with you fast asleep beside him, he can’t seem to calm his racing mind. 

How’re you gonna keep her safe? 

Joel looks down at you, watching your eyes move behind the lids while you sleep. Your breathing is slow and steady. He wonders if instead of your usual nightmares that maybe tonight you’re dreaming good things. 

While he’s lost in thought, you make a soft, sleepy sighing sound and wiggle your body closer to him, snuggling against him as tightly as you can. Joel wipes a stray eyelash off your cheek carefully, and then ghosts his index finger across your forehead. 

You sigh again, but don’t wake up. 

Why doesn’t he hate you? You took from him– took his time. Took the precious, unpromised time he had with Ellie and JJ, with Tommy and his nephew Ben. 

He should hate you for that. Should hate you for the way you treated him– kept him tied up and chained like a dog. He mindlessly rubs at his neck while the thoughts race– while his feelings swirl around like a tornado inside him. 

You don’t hate her though– you understand her. 

He does. He understands you more than he would like to admit. He’s had so much time to think about the things he’s done, and the kind of man he is– and he understands why you did what you did. 

Joel has done things he wouldn’t have normally done for the sake of caring about someone. The hospital plays in his head over, and over again. The night he lost Sarah. 

He thinks about the person he helped shape Ellie into– and he wonders if it’s a good thing. Joel thinks about the things Ellie did with Tommy after the attack. Joel wonders where she would have ended up without him around. What kind of person she might have turned out to be if he hadn’t ever agreed to take her to Salt Lake. 

She’d be dead– no doubt about that. 

Ellie had been a kid– she is just barely not a kid anymore in his eyes. 

You’re grown– set in your ways and clearly traumatized. Joel wonders if he’s doing the right thing by bringing you here. 

He wrinkles his nose at the scent of you– he hadn’t noticed it much before with everything going on, all the emotions. Now that everything is settled, and he has a little time to think, let things register, the smell of his brother and his brother's house and the soap his family uses wafts through his nostrils and it makes him angry.

Joel wants you to smell like you. 

No, you want her to smell like you. 

Something wicked grows inside Joel because that voice inside him is right; he does want you to smell like him. He wants everyone who comes close to you to recognize you as his because you are– he meant what he said and he hopes you know that. 

There is too much thinking happening. Too much noise inside his head and too much silence around him for his body and mind to relax. He wants to get up and go look for something to drink, something to settle the storm and ease him into rest. 

He knows that if he leaves and you wake up to an empty bed, all hell is going to break loose, so he stays next to you and lets you sleep. Lets you get your much needed rest because he knows that you’re capable of going an ungodly amount of time without sleep. It used to scare him how long you would be awake before crashing out for eighteen to twenty hours at a time. 

This next week is for you– getting you used to being in a house and a schedule. Getting you used to being around people. Then he’s going to get you working– he’s already thought about how you’ll like working in the barn. You like animals, seem to be good with them and know more about them than he does– and there is a whole building full of them. 

Silently, he boasts about how smart he is for thinking about it. He isn’t going to stick you in the kitchen where he knows you’ll be miserable. And he isn’t going to get you on patrol duty until he knows you won’t run away. 

She’s gonna try. 

Yeah, you will try. You’re scared now– won’t admit it– but you’re scared. The second you get an ounce of courage– which you will– you’ll try and take off. Joel will come look for you, and he will find you– and you will not like how he makes sure you don’t run off again. 

He might never let you leave. He hasn’t really decided yet, but he’s thinking about it. 

Joel settles down beside you again, and this time you stir, sleep clinging to your panicked voice as you ask where he’s going. He nuzzles his nose into the side of your face and splays one of his hands across your stomach, resting it there innocently. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he reassures with his lips pressing softly against the corner of your mouth. 

You hum quietly with your eyes still closed and place your hand on top of Joel’s and hold him there– lightly encourage him to keep touching you. “Good,” you yawn quietly and melt back into the bed. 

With his eyes closed, he thinks maybe getting you acclimated won’t be as hard as he thought it was going to be. You’re here in his bed, sleeping like you have no worries in the world while he sits up awake, fearful and anxious of the future. 

----

“Mister!”

Joel’s eyes shoot open, heart already racing because he can hear the fear in your voice. He doesn’t have time to ask you what’s wrong when a loud, heavy pounding on the front door makes you flinch. 

Joel sighs loudly. He shouldn’t be annoyed at people coming to visit, but it feels like it’s too early in the morning for company. The thudding doesn’t cease, and Joel looks at you regretfully, “Gotta go see who–” 

Your hand darts to his, gripping it tightly. “Please don’t let’em take me,” you plead with him, eyes wet with tears before he has time to ease your worry. “I’ll be good! I promise! I’ll be g-good, just don’t make me go with’em.” 

The bangning on the front door wont stop– that paired with the sound of your begging and the fact that Joel only three, maybe fours of sleep is making his head spin. 

Joel shakes your hand off of his and climbs out of the bed, waving your worries away with a flick of his wrist as he heads to his dresser. “No one's gonna take you,” he has much less patience for all of this today than he did yesterday. 

You’re out of bed, following close behind to the dresser with your fingers worrying at the hem of his t-shirt. “Like I ain’t heard that before,” you tug desperately at the fabric as he pulls on a pair of jeans. 

Joel swats your hand away, the annoyance seeping in while the front door nearly gets knocked off its hinges downstairs. “Would you cut it out,” Joel swats at your hand once again and tucks his shirt into his jeans. 

“Who is knockin’ like that this early!?” You exclaim, holding your right hand towards the bedroom door. “Someone who sounds like they want somethin’!” 

Joel shakes his head at you and combs his fingers through his hair to look somewhat presentable. “You comin’ down like that or do you wanna get dressed?” He looks you up and down, still wearing all of his boxers and t-shirt from last night. 

Your eyes go wider than Joel thought possible and now he has to hold back a smirk. “Comin’ down!?” 

“Could stay here…’n wait for me–” Joel reaches out to run his index finger between your slit, to tease you for a moment through his boxers, but you’re pushing his hand away, closing the distance between you and grasping at his shirt again in desperation. 

“Joel!” The muffled, female voice coming from out front sounds angry. “I know you’re in there! Open the fucking door!” 

Your head whips around and you look at the door that leads out into the hallway. “Who is that?” You ask, the fear replaced with new piqued curiosity. “That don’t sound like Maria– who is that lady?” You turn to look at him again, brows pinched together tight. 

Joel can’t hide the smirk, he can barely hold back the chuckle you force out of him. “‘Cause it ain’t Maria,” he gently grabs you by the scruff of your neck and places a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“Who is that woman tryin’ to barge in here so early in the–” 

Joel grips the back of your neck a little tighter and you scowl up at him but go silent. “Sounds like y’might be a little jealous–” 

With your right hand, you ball your fist into Joel’s shirt and pull yourself closer to him. “Don’t like other ladies knockin’ on your door like that,” you growl at him, the fear from your voice and plastered all over your face is gone. 

There she is.

Joel snorts softly to himself, shaking his head from side to side. “You’re somethin’ else,” he massages the side of your neck with his index finger and thumb gently. You soften slightly against him and he kisses your forehead again and lingers. “Go shower– you smell like my brother's house,” he grumbles against your skin. 

“Who is–”

“It’s just Ellie,” Joel lets his hand slide down your spine and over the curve of your ass. “No one you need t’be jealous of,” he teases as he palms and squeezes your ass playfully. 

You look him up and down suspiciously, eyebrows still furrowed, lips in a tight line, “You sayin’ there are ones I should be jealous of?” 

Joel laughs and gives your ass a good smack, pushing past you gently. “Take a shower ‘n you can come down after. There is stuff for you in the dresser,” he points to his dresser and then leaves the room to attend to the constant knocking downstairs. 

----

“The fuck have you been?” Ellie pushes the door open before Joel can even greet her. “Been knocking for almost ten minutes.” 

“I’m fully aware how long you been makin’ that racket,” Joel shuts the door behind her as she barges into the house like she still lives here. “S’nice to see you too, I guess.” Joel scoffs softly and shakes his head. 

He hadn’t expected a welcome back party, Joel hadn’t even received one smile since he’s been back. Not from Tommy– he never expected one from Maria– and now Ellie. 

“What the fuck do you expect me to say, Joel?” Ellie’s headed into the kitchen and Joel follows close behind. “Been gone for eight months and then you come back and don’t even bother coming to see me?” 

Joel grabs the glass jar of coffee beans he put in the cupboard after Tommy left last night. “Got in pretty late– didn’t wanna wake you and Dina and J.J.” 

Joel goes about making coffee while Ellie softens, changing her tone quickly. “You okay? Look like you been through some shit.” 

Joel nods his head, staying quiet. He’s listening for the shower upstairs but he doesn’t hear it. Doesn’t hear any noise and he wonders what you’re doing. 

“Thought you were done gettin’ yourself into shit,” Ellie chuckles but Joel doesn’t really hear her. He’s too busy thinking about how there is a pistol tucked into the pocket of a jacket he has hanging up in his closet. He wonders if you’re looking for something like that to use on him. Come down here blasting– taking everyone in the room out so you and Puddin’ can make your great escape. 

“Joel?” 

His train of thought is derailed, and so he turns to look at Ellie, “Sorry kiddo.” He’s greeted with a look of worry- like something bad could happen to him at any minute. Like he’s fragile and could break. He doesn’t like that. “I’m fine,” he sighs. “Just did a lot of walkin’ yesterday and didn’t get a lot of sleep.” 

Ellie sighs loudly and leans back in the chair she had taken a seat in. “Shit, and I come over banging your door down first thing in the morning,” she’s shaking her head. “I’m sorry– Tommy came over this morning and told me that you were back–”

“What else did Tommy tell you?”

Joel’s bathroom is different from Maria’s. Less welcoming– more plain and sterile looking– but your soaps are here. The little bottles and bars of the things that make you clean and smell good. Some of them make you feel soft after you use them. 

You’re warm from the inside and the tips of fingers tingle as you run them along the worn and water damaged label of one of the bottles. You notice that he brought his soap from the mall- the one you found for him shortly after he came to stay with you. 

You don’t shower. You choose to stay in his clothes instead and inspect what he has for you in his dresser. You start at the bottom drawer, but it’s only his things. The next drawer is the same– only Mister’s clothes. 

The next drawer, the one second from the top has significantly less clothes in it– but they’re yours. The ones you had at the mall, folded and tucked away neatly under the cash register in the mattress store– they’re here in Mister-man’s dresser, in a drawer just for you. 

The tingles creep up your hands and wrists and into your forearms as you shut the drawer and turn around, taking in the bedroom that you slept in last night. 

Felt good to sleep– it’s been a while. 

Miss out on things when you sleep and you’re at risk– it’s dangerous. 

It did feel good though. It felt good to sleep with a door between you and the outside world, and to have a roof over your head that didn’t have holes in it. There was something nice about being in a house again– but it still made you feel so uneasy, and your stomach was tied so tightly into a knot that it made you feel like you could be sick. 

A pink snout peeks out from under Mister’s bed, and sniffs rapidly. Then a gray and white furry face follows and his beady little eyes stare up at you. 

It shouldn’t be as dramatic as it is, but you drop to your knees with a thud and Puddin’ runs out from his hiding place and jumps into your lap. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you press your face into his fur as his little scratchy nails dig into your shoulder and cheek. “Mister took real good care of you?” 

The small marsupial doesn’t respond, he just continues trying to burrow into the neck of your shirt so he can curl up and go to sleep. You bring him into Mister-man’s bed and curl up with him under your shirt. 

Safe. He’s downstairs with his daughter, probably making his horrible coffee. Nothing bad is going to happen. 

He’s tellin’ her what you did– he’s gonna tell everyone what you did. They’re all gonna hate you. Gonna talk ‘bout you ‘n laugh at you. Judge you. 

It’s been so long since you’ve had to worry about what anyone thought about you. You didn’t worry about doing things the normal way, or being normal, or anything other than what made you happy and feel good. 

Last night you had no time to think about anything before sleep overcame you. There were no worries when Mister and his endless, perfect body heat kept you warm and comfortable. 

Now you’re alone because he’s downstairs with his daughter. You think about how lucky Ellie is that she gets her dad and didn’t lose him. A different kind of jealousy pangs deep inside you. Another reason being alone was so easy was because you weren’t constantly reminded that everyone you had once known is dead. The one person from your past had turned on you, treated you like a tradeable form of currency that he could pass around to keep the people who fueled his addictions happy. 

You miss your dad and your mom. You miss the home you knew and the room you had with your books and things in it. You miss life the way it used to be. 

Wouldn’t have Mister-Joel though. 

Meeting that liar is the worst thing that ever happened to you. 

That’s not true. There had been worse things to happen to you– worse people like Christoper and Theo. The worst of them all had been Elias. 

With every ounce of mental strength you have left, you pull yourself out of your head and settle back into Mister-man’s warm, safe bed. You press your face into his pillow and inhale deeply, taking in the intoxicating smell of his sleepy, musky scent. 

The image of your clothes in his dresser flashes into your head again. Your face gets warm, and your insides feel like they’re vibrating. 

He didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to make space for you in his life like this. You wonder what the plan is, or if he even has a plan to begin with. 

He just wanted you here. Just wanted you close to him. 

He’s going to chew you up until there ain’t nothin’ left.

The voices go back and forth with each other for a while; you stay quiet and listen to them bicker about knowing what Mister wants. How they know best. 

You think you might not know anything anymore. You had been so smart and so independent out in the woods because there had been no one else around to tell you that how you did things was wrong, or stupid, or that you could do it better this way or that way. Now– thinking about doing anything without Mister-man around makes you want to cry. 

----

“S’just me,” he whispers into your ear as he slips into bed beside you. His voice calms you before you have time to panic. “Y’never showered,” he rubs his hand up and down your upper arm. “Still smell like Tommy and Maria’s house.” 

“I found someone,” you yawn, lifting your shift a smidge to expose Puddin’, who makes his own sleepy sound, peers around the room with tired eyes, and then curls himself into a ball, wrapping his paws around his tail. 

Joel groans quietly in displeasure, “Not in my bed– critters don’t sleep in my bed.” He doesn’t force Puddin’ out, or make you put him on the floor. He wraps his arm around you, careful of the opossum, and settles in, sighing contently. 

You smirk, eyes still closed and sass him playfully. “Ya’ didn’t have a problem with it when it was my bed.” 

Mister snorts softly against the side of your face and pulls you closer. “Shut up and go back t’sleep. We ain’t doin’ this again tomorrow.” 

“Doin’ what?” 

Bein’ free.

“Bein’ lazy,” Mister-man yawns tiredly. “We’re all gettin’ up early ‘n doin’ chores,” he very gently and playfully jostles the sleeping animal under your shirt. “You too.” 

Puddin’ lets out a squeak, and shifts away from Mister to continue snoozing under the dark fabric. 

The next time you wake up you’re cold, and alone. Even Puddin’ is gone. 

The room looks different. It’s the same room but everything looks… gray and dull. 

Maybe it isn’t the same room. 

How terrible would it be if it had all been a dream? All of it– the mall, the Mister-man, Puddin’! What if none of it was real, and you’re back in the bad house, with the bad men who hurt you. 

Hide. 

The door in the corner of the room looks like it leads to a bathroom– it feels familiar. There is a lock on the door you can see from here, and there might be a small window that you should be able to squeeze out of if you try hard enough. 

Smart girl. 

Joel will be right back! He’s coming back! Don’t panic! 

The dark voice is too late– the anxiety has set in and now you need to move, need to be somewhere where no one can get you, because Joel isn’t here. He’s probably not even real!

Your brain and body aren’t in sync yet, and your legs move swiftly, but nowhere near gracefully. You fall out of bed and land on your chest. Pain shoots through your shoulder and up your neck, down your spine. You whimper, and start to crawl towards the door only a few feet away. 

There is a sound downstairs, a clattering, and then footsteps. Fast, heavy footsteps that you can follow by their thudding through the house until they’re racing up the stairs, possibly taking them two at a time. 

Comin’ to get you. Gonna take everything from you. 

It's as if you get to the bathroom at the same time the footsteps enter the bedroom. You slam the door shut, and turn the lock.

The door begins rattling violently in its frame. The voice on the other side sounds angry, but you can’t even make out what it’s saying over your own hysterics. 

“Go away, go away, go away,” you sob softly, covering your ears with your hands despite the searing pain in your shoulder. “Please go away.” 

The banging on the door doesn’t stop, it doesn’t soften or slow. It gets louder, and faster. More demanding. The door handle turns from left to right uselessly.

You close your eyes, and press your palms against your ears as hard as you can, trying to drown out the overwhelming loudness. This room is going to close in on you, the walls get closer and the space itself gets smaller and smaller. 

Whoever is on the other side of the door is mad at you. The tone of their voice tells you that they’re angry but you still aren’t listening to what they’re saying. 

“I’m sorry!” You wail loudly, hoping the person trying to get you can hear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You’re not sure why you’re apologizing, but you must have done something wrong for the person to be so upset. 

The door stops rattling, and for a moment you think your apologies worked, the angry entity on the other side of the door must have gone away. For a moment, you think you can breathe. 

Then there is one, loud thud against the door. The frame shifts slightly. 

“No! No! No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You scream and shuffle backwards on the floor, jumping when your back touches the outside of the tub. 

The person either kicks, or slams their shoulder into the door once again, and you can see the wooden door bow inwards towards you ever-so slightly. 

This time the frame around the door splinters. 

Wonder what they’re gonna do to you when they get in here. 

You’re whimpering, praying, hoping that something will intervene, that something will save you. As you climb into the tub, trying to hide, wondering if the drain would open you up and swallow you whole if you wished hard enough– the wooden frame that keeps the door shut finally gives out as the person forces themselves into the bathroom, and pieces of wood go flying through the air. 

You scream in terror, the debris landing in your hair, and on your back. You grip the shower curtain in your right hand and tear it down off the bar above you accidentally as you pull yourself further away from whoever is behind you. 

The curtain falls down on top of you, cloaking you in darkness. This makes everything worse. The dark makes it all too familiar. 

You try to rip the fabric off of you, try and get yourself free but now there is another set of hands on you, groping at you– touching you. Getting ready to take things from you and hurt you. 

Gonna take all you got to offer, Sug.

You shriek loudly and kick out with your feet at your attacker. “Get off me!” 

A strong, calloused hand wraps around the entirety of your ankle and squeezes. Skin on skin, you can feel how hot and alive the other person is, and it makes you want to implode on yourself. 

“Pl-Plea–Please don’t,” you sob, already feeling defeated, already knowing what’s about to happen to you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

The hand slides up your shin and thigh, under the shower curtain, closer to your core– but it bypasses it completely and continues traveling up your torso. Fingertips graze your chin, then your lips and before you can stop yourself, you open your mouth. The thick digits slide between your lips, and then across your tongue. 

They start to pull away, but you bite down hard before they leave your mouth completely. 

Good fuckin’ girl, Sug!

The person howls in pain and you try to push yourself backwards, away from the sound but there isn’t anywhere to go. You’re in the tub, in a giant bowl and your back is pressed against the side of it. 

“Go away, go away, go away, go away,” You plug your ears with your index fingers, close your eyes. 

Honey, it’s okay. It’s alright. You just forgot where you were. You’re safe. 

It doesn’t matter. You’re nowhere, now. 

It’s just light. It’s just white, and bright light surrounds you. It feels warm, it feels comfortable and safe, and it feels like home. It also feels entirely like nothing at all. There is a voice repeating the same phrase over and over. It’s a soft, sweet voice that reminds you of good and love. It reminds you of hugs, and sweet things, and the feeling of your chest being full. 

You can’t make out the words, they’re all jumbled together, or sound like they’re being said backwards. It doesn’t matter, the voice is what feels good. The consolation of the voice alone is enough for some reason. 

In your heart, the one that’s beating so fast in your chest it feels like it could explode or give out at any second, longs to tell the voice you miss it. You wish you could hear it more. 

Then real light, not bright, warm, white light, but the soft yellow glow of the lightbulbs encompasses you, and someone tall and broad is standing above you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You shake your head, and hold your hands up to protect your face and neck. “I’m sorry!” 

You need to breathe, honey.

Don’t. Pass out. It’ll make it easier. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you can’t stop. You want to, you want to stop and take a breath, gather your thoughts– but why think when bad things are about to happen?

There is a sputtering, wet sound from above you and then you are being soaked with ice cold water. 

You gasp loudly– a long, deep breath in– and your lungs expand and your head stops spinning. Water gets in your mouth and you spit it out. It’s washing over your face and down your neck and chest. It’s already seeping into your clothes. 

A large mass is in front of you, and then kneeling– pinning your legs between theirs. A hand, calloused and strong, grabs your face, pinching your cheeks together. 

“Jesus-fuckin’-Christ, look’it me!” It’s Mister-man’s voice, it’s his hand on your face, it’s his knees on either side of yours. 

You open your eyes, and he’s glaring at you, his brows stitched together angrily. All you can do is whimper. 

“What th’fuck is wrong with you!?” He releases your face, but mashes his fingers against your lips and then holds them up for you to see. “Fuckin’ bit me!”

They’re red, stained with blood. His middle and ring finger are bleeding. Now you can taste the metallic tang of it still lingering on your tongue.

“I- I d-didn’t mean to,” your eyes flash between his bloody fingers, and angry eyes. “I didn’t mean t’bite you. I really didn’t,” you can feel your sinuses starting to tingle, and your eyes burn. “I jus’ woke up all alone and– and it looked different,” you try to explain, but the words don’t make sense, not even to you. “I got scared.” 

Mister’s face softens and his shoulders slump forward slightly, but he doesn’t say anything. This time, when he reaches for your lips, he wipes them gently, cleaning off any blood that still remains. “Didn’t think you’d wake up ‘fore I got back,” he murmurs softly. 

The water cascades through his hair, soaking it and matting it to his forehead. There is a steady stream dripping off the tip of his nose, and his clothes are completely wet now, too. You pulse at the sight of him, wet and hovering over you this way. You feel guilty for hurting him, for biting him so hard he bled. 

“Where did ya’ go?” You ask mindlessly, not even really thinking before the words come out. Your brain feels like mush, like it’s been chewed up and spit out and then stepped on. 

Joel turns at the waist, and adjusts the knob for the water, and then turns back to face you. “Was gonna go get us somethin’ to eat,” he explains cooly.

Now the water is warm and getting hotter, and feels good on your skin. “You was gonna leave me here all alone?” You whisper in disbelief, mouthing hanging open slightly.

Mister-man helps you undress silently, and discards all your wet clothes outside of the tub; then follows suit. He stands behind you, pressing himself against you so you can feel the slight swell of his belly against your back. His hands snake around your midsection, and pull you close to him. 

“Ain’t got nothin’ to be scared of here, babydoll.” He whispers into your ear. “S’only scary up here,” he punctuates the last word with a gentle kiss to your temple. “Gotta stay outta there.” 

He’s right.

You lean back against him, try and relax your tense body. “I dunno how,” you sigh, and with that confession it feels like weight has been taken off of you. Like Mister-man is lifting you off of your feet, but he isn’t. He’s still just holding you, swaying you discreetly; it’s so soothing. You are small in his arms, he makes you feel tiny and fragile even though that isn’t always the case– you love it. 

Mister lets out a low hum from deep in his chest, “Have ya’ ever tried?” 

The honest answer is no, you’ve never really tried. These things don’t normally happen, you don’t normally get stuck in your head like this. That’s not what you tell Mister though. “It’s hard. Just get caught up in it all– sometimes so fast I don’t even know it’s happenin’.” 

Mister nods like he understands, and sighs. “S’long as I’m around, you’re safe. Remember what we talked ‘bout in the woods?” 

“But you weren’t around,” you snap at him, frustrated with his useless words. “You weren’t here.” 

“I was just downstairs,” he explains gently as he starts to work his fingers into your hair. The faint smell of your soap wafts through the air, and it makes things seem less scary. Just a little. He scratches at your scalp with his nails and doesn’t miss a spot. 

“Feels good,” you moan softly, leaning against him again for support while he massages all your fears and worries away. 

He turns you around slowly so you’re facing him. “I ain’t always gonna be right by your side,” he whispers, and keeps his index finger under your chin, shielding your eyes with his other hand while the water washes the shampoo away. “But if I’m breathin’...” he pauses to make sure you’re listening. “You’re safe. Promise you that.” 

You wrinkle your nose at his words. “How’re you gon’ keep me safe if you aren’t right here?” You hold your right hand out at your side. 

Joel raises one eyebrow as he continues to rinse the soap out of your hair. “Same way you did,” he shrugs his shoulders. He’s satisfied that all the shampoo is gone, and he reaches for the bar of his soap sitting on the side of the tub. 

You watch, expecting him to start washing himself, but instead he drags the soap across your skin, washing away all the sweat and sleep from the last several hours. It smells unmistakably like Mister. You’re perplexed, studying the lines in his face as he concentrates on making sure he doesn’t miss an inch of you. 

“I have my own,” you motion to your other bottles and containers of soaps and shampoos. 

Joel glances in their direction and shrugs, sliding the bar of soap along your lower stomach, and then down between your legs. He’s thorough, but gentle. His touch is innocent, moving from your core, down your thighs. He kneels in front of you, washing your shins and calves, then finally your feet. He holds your ankle, lifting each one a couple of inches, cleaning the soles and between your toes. 

When he goes to stand, he’s slow, and winces, sucking air between his teeth harshly. 

“You hurtin’?” You reach for him with your right arm, and let him use you to stand up fully.

Joel grimaces the entire way to his feet, and begins to wash himself with the same bar of soap, ignoring your question completely. “I know gettin’ used to this place ain’t gonna be easy for you,” he starts to explain again. 

For some reason, what says embarasses you. You want to crawl inside your own skin and hide from the rest of his words. 

Mister-man doesn’t seem to notice as you pull your chin into your chest, and stare at the bottom of the tub, watching the suds and water race down the drain. “M’ gonna help ya’ as much as I can, but we can’t be together every second of every day– we weren’t together like that at the mall.” 

You roll your eyes, thankful that he can’t see. “Wasn’t no one else ‘round at the mall,” you grumble quietly. 

Joel snatches your chin in his hand and tilts your head to look up at him. “What’d you say?” He growls, eyes narrowed directly onto yours. 

The muscles in your jaw tense, and you tear your chin from between his fingers. “I said there wasn’t no one else around at the mall.” 

Mister snorts, and shakes his head from side to side. He smirks as he goes back to washing under his arms, and then his shoulders and chest. “Think I’d let someone do something to you?” 

“How are you gonna stop’em if you ain’t around, huh?” 

Joel leans in so his face is only an inch from yours. “Ain’t nobody even gonna try,” he’s still smirking. “Wanna know how I know?” 

You don’t respond, you just continue to stare at him.

“‘Cause everyone here knows that I’d hunt’em down and fucking kill them if they did,” he continues, just barely a whisper. “You forget what I did for you in the mall?” He adds, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he stands upright. 

Part of you had forgotten in the tangled mess that was coming to Jackson. You don’t really remember what he had said– not exactly. 

Little scenes from the trip to Jackson play over and over again in your head, being shocked to the point of tears, Mister-man having to put the choke collar back on you when you wouldn’t stop trying to run. 

Finally, once you had exhausted yourself to the point of falling over, Joel told you the truth. Told you that it was a larger settlement, and that you would be expected to work, and have to talk to people. 

You do remember him whispering in your ear when he slipped his cock into you out in the woods, “Nobody’s gonna hurt my crazy lil puppy. Ain’t that right, baby?” 

You sobbed into his neck, “I ain’t crazy.” Clinging to him like you could be sucked into the center of the earth. You remember your clothes and hair being soaked, and clinging to your skin with a fresh layer of still wet mud; Mister’s hands were dirty with it when he tried to wipe your tears away. 

You remember that it suddenly sounded like thunder, and the ground was vibrating under your back. You remember the snorting of horses, and the authoritarian voice that shouted at Mister-man to get off of you. 

You remember that he didn’t get off of you, he actually thrust a couple more times until someone pulled and cocked a gun. Only then did he leave you with a sickeningly wet squelch, keeping you pinned underneath him while he situated himself back into his jeans.

You don't remember much else after that, really, not until you got to Maria's house.

Mister-man rinses his body and then reaches around you to shut the water off, and then he carefully dries you. He tuts quietly when he reaches your shoulder, bruised and swollen, but doesn’t say anything. 

Mister wraps the towel around you, and then wraps one around his waist and guides you into his bedroom. He goes into your one drawer, barely half-filled with your things, and picks out a shirt. He pulls it over your head, and is smirking down at you when you reemerge. 

“You up for a walk to the mess hall?” He asks, wiping a stray drop of water that is running down the side of your face. 

You blink up at him, wrinkling your nose slightly. 

He cups your face and rubs his thumb across your cheek, “S’where we can get somethin’ to eat.”

As if on cue, your stomach lets out a deep, loud rumbling sound. You are hungry– possibly starving. You can’t remember the last time you had anything besides a handful of raspberries and crackers. It’s been a while since you sat down and ate with Mister. 

He helps you into a pair of jeans, and then puts a clean pair of socks on for you, and helps you into one of his long-sleeve flannels. He rolls up the sleeves so they don’t overhang your hands. 

“Are there gonna be other people there?” You try to sound nonchalant, like you don’t care if other people were there. Inside, your heart feels like it isn’t moving at all, and your mouth is fuzzy and dry. 

Mister-man is tucking his shirt into his jeans when he looks at you, one eyebrow raised slightly. “Does it matter?” He sees right through you, and shakes his head as he zips and buttons his jeans. 

You shrug and sit down on the edge of his bed. “I was just askin’,” you mumble under your breath. 

He doesn’t hear, or chooses to ignore you as he finishes getting dressed. He walks back into the bathroom, and when he returns, his hair is combed back, away from his face. Mister-man’s face looks endlessly tired, like it’s been etched into his being. 

He stands in front of you with his hands on his hips, furrowing his brow at you. “What’s the matter? Y’still worried ‘bout them?” He tips head towards the door. 

You shrug again, looking everywhere but his eyes as he takes a step closer. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to avoid it, he pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger and makes you look up at him. You force a closed lip smile at him, and shake your head from side to side. “Nah…” You blink up at him, the small, strained grin still on your face. “I know you’ll take care of me.” 

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[dubina-dawkins]

STRESS

~850 words

>After long missions Ben is obviously stressed. What else can you do if not help him?

warnings/notes: smut, minors dni! oral (m receiving), female reader but there aren't many real descriptions other than calling reader a "heroine", no usage of y/n, no proofread I'm gonna die, ben is being canonically really rough, but there's just a bit of his softer side i wish was there in canon so maybe ooc, supe!reader, reader is a second captain of payback (like starlight in the third season but no parallels between starlight & homelander and reader & soldier boy)

REBLOGS WILL BE APPRECIATED!

It hadn't been a hard day, not even a hard week, it had been going on for a hell of a long time. Everyone was on edge, even Tessa and Tommy were exhausted, and if all those missions, he filming of that stupid movie Legend had insisted on, could exhaust the twins, whose energy had always burned like dynamite, pun intended, then obviously no one had any energy at all.

People deal with stress in different ways. Some people try to abstract themselves from society - that's what Mindstorm did, and something in you told him that if he missed one more training session, then as soon as his coat even looms in Soldier Boy's peripheral vision, Dan would be dead.

Some were trying to forget themselves in training, and some were trying to beat the crap out of them in training. And you, as co-captain of this incorrigible team, as a supe who still had some humanity left in her, it was unbearably painful to watch Ben take it out on the others. But not at you, of course. Of course not at you, you were fucking special.

For instance, you were special when you sat between his legs in the meeting room.

No, don't think anything terrible, Ben wasn't the kind of man who would force a woman to do something like that, after all, he may have been a bastard, a misogynist and...a lot of other bad things, but he was a real man of his time - or at least he thought he was. In his opinion, it was much more manly to get a woman to fall at his feet - in this case, literally.

No, it's just that after he almost smashed Black Noir's head on the table during today's meeting, you had no doubt that he could use some stress relief.

And who, if not the second captain of the Payback, America's No. 1 heroine, on a par with the Statue of Liberty, could help him, America's greatest hero, become even a little more forgiving? The answer was obvious: no one. Did you do it out of fear, Stockholm syndrome, or because the only humanity left in you somehow cherished the bastard? It wasn't that important. Not now, anyway.

Not when his big hand was clutching your hair, painfully pulling back and literally slamming your head into his lap again and again. His cock slammed into your throat with a sharp and tremendous pressure, and somewhere through the veil of your own pleasure in the process you could hear his absolutely animalistic growl. Well, knowing that you could bring him to such a primitive state fueled so much pride in your chest that you obviously grew bolder.

You could grip his shaft lightly with your teeth, which made your hair pull back especially hard, forcing you to let go of his length from your mouth. You only laughed, and Ben only feigned annoyance.

And just a few moments after that, he's back to exhaling your name gutturally, stretching the "r" sound especially hard when he says you're his "good girl". And soon enough, Ben's grip on your curls tightens, and he's moving your head at an unsteady pace in pursuit of his pleasure alone. You suppress your gag reflexes, because to your great surprise, not only he likes it, but you as well. You were definitely a masochist.

His growls, guttural moans, and sloppy grunts mingled with your whimpers and the wet slapping of your face against his heated skin. How strange was it that you were ready to cum now without even touching your needy slit with your fingertips, just from the feel of his huge length in your mouth? It was probably very strange, but you didn't have that thought in your head, or any other, God, Ben had literally fucked the shit out of your brain, because all your sick mind was thinking about was his voice, his face, his hands, just fucking him. Thrust, thrust, another thrust--

He stops abruptly, apparently not wanting to end it like this. Soldier Boy lets go of your hair, pats your head approvingly (a rare sign of tenderness on his part!) and then takes up the locks again to lift your face off his still-hard cock, glistening in a mixture of pre-ejaculate and your saliva. He grins smugly, taking your chin with his finger. Judging by the fact that he's even allowed himself that smirk, some of his stress is already gone. But this is not enough.

"Get up, love. And sit on the table," he growls, lifting you off your lap as you almost hit your head on the edge of the table, and Ben lowers himself to you, pressing his lips dangerously close to yours in a scalding kiss. His lips taste gross, a mixture of expensive whiskey, weed, and smoke, but you grasp the taste with your whole life line. But before you can even open your mouth to his tongue, Ben soon pulls away, biting your bottom lip.

"I'm not going to end this with you so easily."

a/n: of course know this man is huge asshole and i hate him with all of my heart but your honor he's played by jensen ackles so he can be pardoned. idk what was the last time i written smut tbh

[nqueso-lies]

I’m on a Queer as Folk kick right now and idk if you’ve ever seen it (highly recommend), but I wanted to point out the character Ben being what I want for Buck. Not Ben, obvi, but the way he becomes a part of the story.

Light spoilers for QAF. I’m keeping it vague.

Ben is the partner of one of the main characters. They’re introduced as love interests, dealt with outside influences and trouble around the start of their relationship, but the MC fought for them. They then got back together and the relationship was allowed to progress from there. But at the same time, Ben became a part of the group. It wasn’t shocking to see him at the gym with someone who wasn’t his partner. He was active and present in conversations. He even had his own storylines that were great and genuinely influenced the show. He was not only there as a love interest but as a strong character in his own right (at least in my opinion). He had his own thoughts and feelings that differed from his partner’s but it all still intertwined. Ben was who the MC needed because he fulfilled the wants he had, even wants he didn’t really know he had, while still pushing him.

I think if they keep building up Tommy, it’s possible to achieve the same thing. There’s lots of threads that could be worked on to make Tommy stronger and give him more of a grounding on his own outside of BuckTommy. Him being not a series reg nor at the 118 does pose a little bit of a screen time issue, but they can work something out. Make more overlap between stations during the season, like the big emergencies or whatever. He’s already incorporated with the 118 and has opinions on stuff, but they need to push it more. Because Buck is such a huge character that any LI he has needs to be full and present and real. They have so many possibilities with Tommy and if they actually play their cards right, it could be great. (Not that it’s not already but you know what I mean). His friendship with Eddie was great. I was devastated when that got destroyed, because that was a link Tommy had into the core 118 fam that didn’t have to do with Buck. His relationships with Chim and Hen don’t have to do with Buck. A part of me feels like they dropped the ball on making Tommy a part of everything because at the start he wasn’t supposed to stick around and now that he may, they’d have to kinda go back and restitch things together. Not difficult by any means, but would the show do it? Maybe maybe not. Taylor had her own storylines, give some to Tommy and boom, I think there could be something solid.

I’ll take whatever we can get, but with so much opportunity… and seeing how a show can actually invest in a relationship between characters… I want more for BuckTommy. They and we deserve more. Not because we’re greedy, but because the show laid out the strings and they’re waiting to be tugged

I would love if they did it this way.

Fingers crossed

[steamtrain52]

No Ordinary Boy - Chapter Eleven

WARNING: This chapter contains references to suicide. If this is something that you feel may upset and/or anger you, read on at your discretion.

I hope you understand I did not make the decision to include this lightly.

  The next morning was a struggle, to say the least.

  Natalie’s head was pounding as she lay in Tommy’s arms. Images flashed through her head of the previous night… the doomcoming, talking about college, Tommy taking her on the cool, soft moss, over and over again…

  Her thighs were aching in the most wonderful way. Natalie smiled at first, then felt the smile slide off her face at the memory of her begging for Tommy to finish inside her.

  Could she be pregnant now? Shit. She might be.

  It’s about to be winter. How could I have been so reckless?

  Then more of Natalie’s memories filtered through her head. The shrooms. Of course.

  But how had they ended up in the soup? Could Mari have mistaken them for another type of mushroom?

  When they had first begun foraging for food, Tommy and Coach Scott had pointed out several types of mushroom within the forest that were safe to eat. But that had been what, four months ago now? Plenty of time for someone to make a mistake.

  I guess we should count ourselves lucky Mari didn’t accidentally kill us instead. Still, I need to watch myself. I could always ask Shauna for tips, just in case-

  And then at the thought of Shauna, Natalie finally remembered the third act of the previous night. Jackie locked in the downstairs closet, Lottie laughing like a madwoman, Travis imprisoned in the tree stump while Shauna drew a knife across his throat…

  Travis. At the thought of her hunting partner, Natalie finally began to move. Due to the shrooms, she hadn’t thought much of it at the time when he had run off after she and Tommy had saved him, but now… he could be hurt, he could even be dead if one of the girls had followed him and decided to finish the job…

  “Tommy.” She shook her boyfriend awake.

  “Mmmm?” Tommy blinked sleepily.

  “We have to go; we need to find Travis.”

  “Wha…” Tommy trailed off, then she saw his eyes clear as he remembered. “Oh. Oh my god, you’re right.”

  He rose out of their makeshift bed, clearly alert, though Natalie was sure he was feeling the after-effects of the shrooms as much as she was.

  My Tommy. Even now, Natalie couldn’t help but admire his strength, and she stepped forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

  “Could you…” she whispered. “Could you say it one more time?”

  Tommy smiled. “I will love you until the day I die, my darling.”

  “Likewise. My darling”, Natalie giggled, despite herself. Wherever she went, she knew Tommy would be with her, and she felt her own resolve grow as he kissed her again.

  000000000000000000000000

  Tommy walked with Natalie through the cabin, where Tai, Van and several of the other girls were stirring feebly on the floor.

  Probably a good idea to stay in the attic, Tommy thought, as he stepped past them. Who knows what might have happened if we’d crossed paths with them?

  He and Natalie quickly dressed back into their hunting clothes, and stepped outside, where they were surprised to see Ben cooking something on the fire.

  “You guys alright?” He asked them. “If you’re hungover, I boiled some water.”

  Better than nothing, I suppose, Tommy thought, as he and Natalie each took a cup. His head was pounding. Last night was the first time he had taken anything stronger than weed, and he was in no mood to try it again, despite last night’s sex with Natalie being far and away the best they’d ever had.

  I hope I didn’t get her pregnant. Please, God, don’t let me have gotten her pregnant. 

  It wasn’t as though he didn’t want to have kids with Natalie one day, but out here? No. No way in hell.

  They gingerly sipped at the boiling water. “So, uh…” Ben cleared his throat. “What exactly did you guys get up to last night?”

  Tommy instantly felt his face redden. “Not much”, he lied through his teeth. “Just... snuck off and watched the moon rise.”

  “Mm-hmm”, Natalie said, her face turning as red as his felt. “What about you?” She asked Ben.

  “Honestly… I’m not sure. I left the party, and I’m pretty sure I spent about six hours lying down, looking up at the sky before I fell asleep. Not sure what was in Mari’s wine, but-”

  “It wasn’t the wine, it was the soup”, Tommy interrupted. “Natalie reckons there were shrooms in there.”

  “What?” Ben asked, his mouth dropping open as Natalie nodded.

  “I’ve done them once before, last night felt just like it did last time.”

  “Oh, my god”, Ben held his face in his hands. “If that’s true, it’s a good thing Mari didn’t kill us by mistake. I think we’re going to have to re-do the lesson on which mushrooms are safe to eat.”

  “I agree”, Tommy said, as he finished drinking the water. “Do you know where Travis might be?”

  “I saw him go around the other side of the cabin”, Ben pointed, and Tommy and Natalie headed around the cabin to find their hunting partner, washing what looked like blood off his throat.

  Tommy winced. Shit. They should have followed him last night, instead of heading back to the cabin.

  “Hey, man”, he greeted Travis. “Are you okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “What?” Natalie asked. “Don’t you remember what happened last night?”

  “I’m fine. No, actually, I’m better than fine. I finally got laid, so I’m fucking great.”

  Jackie. No wonder she was so upset. 

  “Travis, we saw them hold a knife to your throat”, Tommy said. “Nobody would be okay after that-”

  “I said I was fine, didn’t I?” Travis snapped. He set down the washcloth he was using. “I’m gonna go look for Javi.”

  “He’s not here?” Natalie asked, as Travis began to walk off. “Well, do you want any help?”

  “Nope!”

  Travis walked further away, and Tommy saw Natalie look at him.

  “We have to help him”, she said.

  “We will”, Tommy said, as they both set off after Travis. All three of them knew the woods around them better than anyone, and they checked all the hiding spots they could think of, without any luck.

  Poor Javi. Probably saw the girls screaming like banshees and bolted like a rabbit. But where on earth could he have gone?

  Tommy looked up to see Travis heading further away, but as he made to follow him, he began to feel the effects of last night bubble in his stomach.

  Uh oh. Tommy bent his head, and vomited out what looked like a large stream of grape juice onto the forest floor.

  Mari’s berry wine. I’m not in a hurry to be drinking that again, that’s for goddamn sure.

  “Are you okay?” Tommy heard Natalie say, as she soothingly rubbed his back and shoulders. “Maybe you should go back to the cabin, we can keep searching out here-”

  But Tommy wasn’t listening to her. He was too busy staring at the ground in horror. How on earth could he have missed the tracks?

  000000000000000000000000

  “Just leave the rifle, we might need it-” Natalie said.

  “You have no idea”, Tommy interrupted her, pointing at the ground he had just puked into.

  Natalie followed his finger, and felt her blood turn to ice as she saw the pawprints in the ground. She hadn’t actually seen this type before, but there was no mistaking them.

  Bear tracks. And they’re FRESH. 

  “It’s heading towards the cabin”, Tommy said, and Natalie felt even colder as she realised he was right.

  “Oh my god-”

  “Stay here”, Tommy said, sliding the rifle off his shoulder and setting off into the direction of the tracks.

  “W-what? What are you gonna do?”

  Tommy looked at her, and Natalie instantly realised his plan. “No. No, please. Tommy, no-”

  “We have no choice. Stay here.”

  “No!” Natalie screamed at him. “You and me. Remember?”

  Tommy looked at her like he was going to argue, then shook his head. “Okay. Just… be careful.”

  000000000000000000000000

  Van woke up groggily on the floor of the cabin, wrapped in Taissa’s arms.

  Uggghhhh…

  What the hell happened last night? She remembered feeling on top of the world, having amazing sex with Tai by the creek, then stumbling back here…

  Were we drunk? Guess that’s what we get for drinking berry wine none of us have any real clue how to make. 

  After shaking Taissa awake, the two of them dressed in their more casual clothes, then joined Coach Scott by the fire outside, where they gratefully accepted his hangover cure of boiling water.

  It wasn’t long before Misty came outside as well, though she stayed away from them as she sat on the porch, reading a book as she kept shooting glances at Coach Scott.

  Jesus, Van thought as she snorted. How does she not realise he’s gay? After four months in the wilderness without Coach Scott sneaking a single glance at any of the girls’ chests, it had become blindingly obvious to the rest of them, but Misty still seemed oblivious.

  She’s in for a nasty shock, that one. If she wasn’t so creepy, I’d almost feel sorry for her. 

  At the sound of footsteps, Van looked up to see Lottie, Shauna, Mari and Akilah creeping around the cabin’s corner, still in their doomcoming dresses.

  “Hey”, Coach Scott greeted them. “I boiled some drinking water, if you guys are as hungover as I am.”

  “Has anyone seen Jackie?” Shauna asked, as Van saw the team captain appear in the doorway.

  This isn’t gonna be good, Van thought, as images flashed through her head of them all locking Jackie in the closet.

  “I have nothing to say to you”, Jackie snapped. “To any of you. I mean… what the fuck?”

  “Yeah, like you’re so innocent”, Mari mumbled.

  “Hey! I’m not the one who went completely fucking insane last night.”

  “Right, no, you were too busy screwing Travis”, Van retorted. Though they had kept it from Tommy and Natalie, for their sake, it was well-known amongst the rest of the girls that Jackie had been nursing a crush on Tommy the last few months.

  But Tom’s the most loyal boyfriend in the world, so she settled for Travis. Seriously, who does Jackie think she’s fooling? 

  “Look”, Coach Scott spoke up. “I’m sure that we all said and did some stuff that we regret last night on account of the shrooms.”

  The WHAT? Van thought. Oh, my god…

  “So, I think that the best thing for us to do is just…”

  “Wait, wait”, Shauna interrupted. “Shrooms?”

  “Okay, yeah. That makes sense.” Van rubbed at her face. But how on earth had-

  “Oh, shit”, Taissa said. “The broth?”

  Mari’s broth? Van turned her head to Mari, but the JV goalkeeper was looking right at Misty.

  Akilah was doing the same. “You drugged us?” She asked Misty, and the small, curly-headed girl looked as though she wanted to sink into the ground.

  “No, I didn’t”, she said, in a soft, quiet tone that wouldn't have fooled anyone. Then Misty got to her feet.

  “Okay, yeah, but… it was an accident. They were meant for Ben.”

  Not helping your case, Van thought.

  “Oh, my god”, Mari groaned. “Do you have any idea how crazy you are?”

  “They were my mushrooms”, Misty said. “And you stole them to put in your stupid soup. Besides, none of this would have even happened if he wouldn’t have tricked me into falling in love with him.”

  Van’s jaw dropped open. He did what?

  “Oh, Misty, would you-”

  “Wait, stop!” Lottie interrupted Coach Scott. “Do you hear that?”

  Hear what? Then something reached Van’s ears. Something that sounded… big…

  As Van leapt to her feet and turned around, her worst fears came true, and a fully-grown grizzly bear walked right into their campsite.

  Sweet Jesus, Van thought.

  “Oh, God. Oh, my God!” She screamed, as everybody headed for the porch. No wonder Tom wanted us to stay out of the woods. Look at the SIZE of him. 

  “Okay”, Coach Scott said. “Alright, everyone stay calm.”

  “How the fuck are we supposed to do that?!” Mari asked him.

  “Who- who has the gun? Where’s the gun?” Taissa asked, looking around.

  “Tommy. Tommy has it”, Coach Scott said.

  Oh, fuck. By the time he gets here, it’ll be too late, Van thought.

  Then Lottie quietly whispered “Shauna, the knife”, and Shauna passed her the hunting knife she was carrying.

  What the hell?

  “Lot, don’t”, Van called out, but Lottie marched determinedly towards the bear.

  Oh, God. That thing is going to rip her apart-

  But just as Lottie seemed one second away from becoming the bear’s next meal, the great big beast… knelt down in front of her.

  What the HELL? Van felt her mouth drop open.

  But just as Lottie raised the knife, a shot rang out, and Van saw the bear’s side explode in blood.

  000000000000000000000000

  Tommy knew he would have to get the bear from the side. He had never put down one of the great beasts before, and his instincts were telling him to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. But he couldn’t leave the girls at its mercy. If it got into the campsite, there was no telling how many of them it may kill before it was satisfied.

  Then as he drew closer to the campsite, he saw the grizzly approach the cabin, the girls screaming in fear as they backed away.

  Tommy flanked the bear, heading around to the side as fast as he could.

  “Stay here”, he whispered to Natalie. She may have chosen to come back with him, but she would not be dying today, if he could help it.

  Then as Tommy came out of the bushes, he saw Lottie… approaching the bear, with a tiny little knife in her hand?

  What’s that mad girl doing now? Tommy groaned internally, as he opened fire. 

  His first shot hit the bear in the side, but Tommy knew he had missed its heart.

  Shit. The bear turned around to face him, standing on its hind legs, but Tommy had already fired again.

  The next two bullets took it in the throat. The bear reeled back, and Tommy advanced, putting the next three in its chest, where he knew its heart would be.

  The bear crashed to the ground. Tommy knew it was mortally wounded, but he was taking no chances, and he fired the seventh and final bullet right between its eyes.

  Tommy loaded the rifle with seven more rounds, just in case, and approached the fallen bear cautiously, poking it in the eye.

  It didn’t so much as budge, and he felt himself let out a sigh of relief.

  “Is everyone alright?” He asked the group, as Natalie emerged from the brush.

  Then as everyone started to breathe a bit more easily, he heard Natalie scream.

  “Behind you!”

  Tommy whipped around, expecting another bear, only to see Lottie advancing on him with the knife. Tommy’s survival instincts kicked in, and he smashed the butt of the rifle into Lottie’s face, knocking her onto the dirt.

  “Oh, my God!” He heard Van say, as Lottie clutched her nose, rolling around on the ground.

  “What the hell did you do that for?!” Natalie screamed at Lottie. “You could have killed him!”

  “That wasn’t what it wanted!” Lottie howled. She turned to look at Tommy, and despite the fact that she had just tried to kill him, he was alarmed to see the damage he had done to her nose.

  “You aren’t doing what it wants!” Lottie said to him, as blood streamed from her nostrils.

  “Doing what… what wants?” Tommy asked. But all Lottie did was glare at him, and Tommy’s gaze was drawn to the knife in her hand.

  “Please don’t tell me you thought that tiny little knife was going to do anything more to the grizzly than piss it off”, Tommy said, as Natalie moved to stand beside him. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and it was only now Tommy realised he was shaking, though whether it was from fear or anger, he couldn’t quite figure out.

  “That thing would have ripped you apart,” Tommy said to Lottie, “and don’t try pretending any different.”

  “You didn’t have to intervene”, Lottie insisted.

  “Jesus Christ, Lottie”, Tommy said. “Are you sure the shrooms have worn off?"

  000000000000000000000000

  Lottie went inside, most likely to sulk, and after almost two hours worth of skinning, gutting and slicing the bear apart, they sat down to eat the animal in silence, Natalie sitting next to Tommy, as both of them kept an eye on Lottie, and Misty as well.

  Coach Scott had quietly informed them that Misty, not Mari, was responsible for the shrooms ending up in the soup. As for Lottie… Natalie knew it would be a long time before she forgot the image of Lottie advancing on her boyfriend from behind, with a knife in her hand and murder in her eyes.

  If she hadn’t called out a warning when she did, Lottie would have stabbed Tommy in the back. The thought of killing anyone hadn’t crossed Natalie’s mind since the day her father died, but as she sat next to Tommy, eating in silence, Natalie knew that if Lottie Matthews had killed her boyfriend, she would not have hesitated to grab the rifle and empty it into the other girl.

  Did that make her dangerous? Probably. But Natalie knew she did not want to live in a world without Tommy in it, and it looked like they were officially sharing a cabin with not one, but two unhinged psychopaths.

  “We should say a prayer”, Lottie said quietly, and to Natalie’s surprise, some of the Yellowjackets bowed their heads. Tommy didn’t, of course, and neither did Coach Scott. Jackie and Van looked about uncertainly as well. But everyone else bowed their heads with Lottie.

  What the hell is wrong with all of you? Natalie wondered.

  “To the spirit of the bear, who sacrificed so that we could survive, we give our thanks.”

  “Thank you”, some of the girls whispered.

  “And to the ancient gods of the sky and the dirt, we give our thanks”, Lottie finished.

  To the… what? Natalie wondered. Maybe it’s a good thing Laura Lee isn’t here. I can almost hear her ears burning.

  “You didn’t say it”, Natalie heard Misty whisper, looking at them.

  “They didn’t say it!” Misty called out to the group.

  “We know you’re responsible for the shrooms, Misty”, Tommy said. “Tread lightly.”

  He spoke softly, but Natalie knew her boyfriend well enough to detect the rage beneath his calm appearance.

  Tommy’s words appeared to have given Jackie courage, because she suddenly spoke up.

  “Thank you, Tommy”, she began. “And no, we did not thank the dirt for bringing us a goddamned grizzly bear.”

  Jackie looked furious. “What is even happening right now? The fuck is wrong with you all? Misty poisoned us, then Lottie tried to murder Tommy for saving our lives, and now you’re all acting like it’s just water under the bridge?”

  “It’s fine, Jackie”, Taissa said. “You don’t have to-”

  “Oh, shut up, Tai”, Jackie scoffed. “Don’t pretend like you weren’t a part of it. What, we’re… we’re just not gonna talk about it? We just howl at the moon now and have fucking orgies?”

  “Wait, what?” Natalie asked. Travis hadn’t mentioned that.

  Then Natalie suddenly remembered Travis was still out there, looking for Javi. In the rush of Tommy killing the bear and almost dying at the hands of Lottie, she had completely forgotten about that.  

  “Yeah, that’s right”, Jackie said. “And somehow, we’re the ones that did something wrong.”

  “Jackie, calm down”, Shauna spoke.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down”, Jackie shouted.

  She put down her bowl and rose to her feet. “What were you gonna do to Travis last night, Shauna? I spoke to him this morning. He had a lot to say about you.”

  Shauna looked down, shame on her face.

  “Well? Answer me.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t… remember.”

  Bullshit.

  “Bullshit”, Jackie echoed Natalie’s thoughts. “He said you had a knife to his throat. If Nat and Tommy hadn’t come, you would have killed him-”

  “Just shut up!” Shauna yelled, standing up. “None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you, if you hadn’t-”

  “Hadn’t what?” Jackie smirked. “Huh? Stolen him? Wow. The irony.”

  What? Natalie was confused. Did Shauna like Travis?

  Then Jackie explained, and Natalie felt her sense of horror grow.

  “Shauna was fucking Jeff behind my back, you know that?” Jackie announced to the group. “Yeah. That’s who’s really responsible for her little… bundle of joy.”

  “Oh, my God, Shauna”, Natalie said.

  “Thank you, Nat”, Jackie spoke up. Natalie wasn’t really sure why Jackie suddenly seemed to think of her as a friend, but she went on anyway.

  “How could you?” Jackie hissed at Shauna. “You were my best friend. You don’t even like him-”

  “And how would you know?!” Shauna suddenly exploded. The two of them descended into a screaming match, and Natalie stopped listening, as she closed her eyes and looked down. It was too much like home. Too much like her mom and dad-

  She felt Tommy’s hand in hers, and she opened her eyes to look at him staring at her in concern.

  It’s okay, he mouthed at her, as she squeezed his hand gratefully while Jackie and Shauna kept right on arguing.

  “You know what? That’s it. That’s it, get- get out”, Jackie yelled, pointing towards the door. “Go on, get out!”

  “No”, Shauna said, tiredly.

  “I can’t be around you. I can’t even fucking look at you right now!” Jackie screamed.

  “Well, that sounds like your problem. So maybe you should leave”, Shauna said. She sounded exhausted, and Natalie didn’t blame her. She felt sorry for Jackie, but hanging around her all the time would exhaust anybody.

  “Maybe you’d be better off”, Mari said to Jackie. “Since we’re all so crazy.”

  “Okay”, Coach Scott spoke up. “Everybody just stop. Nobody is going outside-”

  “Stay out of it, Coach”, Lottie said to him.

  “Or what?” Natalie asked her. “You gonna try to stab him, too?”

  A very tense silence followed her words. No matter how much they tried to sweep it under the rug, or dismiss it as Lottie just acting her usual, crazy self, there was no denying that she had crossed a line when she tried to stab Tommy, and Natalie made a mental note to keep Lottie away from the knives in the future.

  Then as Jackie looked around the cabin, she scoffed again.

  “You know what? Fine.”

  She grabbed her pillow and blankets, and stepped outside.

  “Jackie, come on”, Taissa called out. “Don’t go outside-”

  “Don’t pretend like this isn’t what you wanted the entire fucking time”, Jackie snapped, as she headed out the door.

  “I don’t even know who you are anymore”, she said to Shauna.

  “Or maybe you never did”, Shauna replied, and Jackie slammed the door, making Natalie jump.

  She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to get away from here, as fast as she could, where she didn’t have to worry about being drugged or stabbed by people she’d once thought were her friends.

  She stood up and strode out the door, and heard Tommy’s footsteps as he followed behind her.

  000000000000000000000000

  Van watched as Tommy and Natalie left. After the events of this morning… she didn’t know what to think. What Tommy had done, advancing on the bear as he put round after round into its body, knowing full well it would rip him to shreds if he failed to bring it down, had been the bravest thing she had ever seen anyone do.

  But before Tommy had emerged, the bear had laid down on the forest floor, right in front of Lottie, almost like it was offering itself up to the group to be eaten. Van had seen it. They all had seen it.

  On the other hand, Tommy was the expert when it came to hunting wild animals, and if he believed Lottie’s knife wouldn’t have been enough to kill the bear, Van was inclined to believe him over Lottie, who had grown up in the lap of luxury compared to the rest of them- certainly nowhere near the wilderness Tommy had spent years of his life hunting in.

  And then when Lottie had charged at him, brandishing the knife… in that moment, Van had never been more scared, not even when the grizzly presented itself to them.

  If Natalie hadn’t warned him… Van buried her head in her hands. She herself had frozen in that moment with shock at what Lottie was doing. Killing Tommy, the group’s main source of food in their time out here, would all but guarantee their deaths during winter, and yet Lottie had tried it anyway.

  I can’t freeze again. I don’t know if we’ll make it through winter… but I do know we’re not making it through if Tom dies. 

  000000000000000000000000

  Tommy walked with Natalie through the forest, looking for Travis and Javi. They had been searching for so long that night had started to fall, but still they kept looking.

  “What do you think?” Natalie asked him. “Should we try the north side again, or-”

  “Natalie”, Tommy spoke softly.

  “Yeah?”

  She turned to him, as the tears began brimming in his eyes.

  “I- I know we haven’t talked about it yet”, Tommy said. “But… when the bear went down, I thought ‘okay, that’s it, the scariest moment of my life is over now’.”

“Then…” Tommy swallowed hard. “I saw Lottie coming at me with the knife. I… I don’t think I will ever forget the look in her eyes. It was… absolutely, one hundred percent serious. I had just saved her life, and she was going to stab me-”

  “I saw it too”, Natalie whispered, and Tommy felt the fear rush in. He had spent the last few hours in a state of shock that Lottie had looked capable of murder in that moment, but now it seemed as though that shock was giving way to terror. 

  They were supposed to share the cabin with Lottie tonight, for God’s sake. Misty too. How the hell were they going to sleep, knowing that either one of them was likely capable of murder? Tommy remembered Misty bringing the axe down on Ben’s ruined leg, Lottie smashing her own head into a window while babbling in French about an ‘it’ wanting blood. Clearly, neither was afraid to wreak havoc when they believed the occasion demanded it.

  Then Tommy felt Natalie’s arms go around him, as she buried her head in his chest.

  “I love you”, his girlfriend whispered. “I won’t let Lottie or Misty or anyone else lay a finger on you that you don’t want.”

  Tommy wrapped his arms around Natalie, and placed his head on top of hers.

  “I love you too”, he said. “I won’t let them harm you, either, and if they do, I’ll… I’ll…”

  Kill them. The words went unspoken, but Tommy knew Natalie understood.

  Could Tommy really do it? Did he have what it took to pull the trigger on a fellow human being? He had done the same to dozens, potentially hundreds of animals over the course of his life, but another human?

  Tommy felt Natalie’s hands cup his cheeks, her fingers stroking them softly as she looked at him. In that moment, gazing into her beautiful face, Tommy knew that he would not hesitate to kill Lottie, or Misty, or any of the others if they attempted to harm Natalie. But what did that make him?

  000000000000000000000000

  Natalie stepped forward, and softly pressed her lips to his. It felt like kissing a statue, but she persisted, and eventually Tommy opened his mouth up to hers.

  “We’ll get through this together”, she whispered. “Winter… the girls… anyone or anything that might do us harm, we face together… and make them sorry for ever thinking they stood a chance.”

  She smiled at him, and Tommy smiled back as he kissed her again.

  It would be okay. As long as they had each other, they would survive.

  “Oh, by the way”, Natalie mumbled as she pulled away from his lips. “Obviously we don’t know if I’m pregnant from last night just yet, but… we need to be more careful. What we did… it can’t happen again. Not while we’re out here.”

  “I understand.”

  Natalie looked deeply into his eyes.

  “One day”, she said, softly. “One day I want to have your kids, I promise. Just… not right now.”

  “I can live with that”, Tommy whispered, as he bent his head to kiss her again.

  They kept looking for Travis and Javi, but after it got even darker, they heard wolves howling in the distance, and took it as their cue to head back.

  As they walked up to the cabin, Natalie was surprised to see Jackie sitting outside.

  She’s still out here? 

  They had passed her on their way out to the woods, struggling to light a fire, and now there was indeed a small flame going. If Jackie’s attitude hadn’t repeatedly pissed Natalie off over the previous four months, she would have been impressed that Jackie finally seemed to have learned something to help her survive.

  “Jackie, what are you doing out here?” Tommy asked.

  “I can’t go back in there”, Jackie said, continuing to stare into her tiny flame. She sounded so flat and defeated, just so small, it was hard to identify her as the same girl who had led the Yellowjackets to victory in the all-state championship.

  “Jackie, this is stupid”, Natalie said. “It’s getting colder. If you stay out here, you might freeze to death. Come on.”

  She held out her hand, but Jackie didn’t move a muscle.

  “I’m fine, Nat. You go ahead.”

  Natalie looked at Tommy. What they were supposed to do, drag Jackie inside?

  “Jackie, will you please come inside? It’s not safe out here”, Tommy said.

  “Thanks, Tommy, but… I’m okay out here, for now.”

  “Then at least let us make the fire a bit bigger”, Tommy said softly. “You can come in when you’re ready, okay?”

  There was a pause, then Jackie nodded mutely.

  “Okay”, Tommy said. He and Natalie spent the next few minutes gathering branches and kindling, building the flames up until, a few minutes later, Jackie had a steady fire going. But she still hadn’t moved, continuing to stare ahead blankly.

  “Jackie?”

  “I said I’m fine, Nat.”

  “Look”, Tommy began. “Just… don’t fall asleep. Alright? Come in when you’re ready.”

  “Okay”, Jackie said, in the same tired voice.

  Tommy nodded, but Natalie wasn’t convinced this was enough.

  “Jackie, please come inside, it isn’t safe-”

  “I said I’m fine, Nat!” Jackie suddenly snapped, and Natalie moved back.

  Jesus, Natalie thought, shaking her head as she followed Tommy inside the cabin, towards the attic. Taissa and Shauna were staying up there, but neither of them said anything.

  She’ll come in when she’s ready, Natalie told herself, but as she changed into her pyjamas and lay down in Tommy’s arms, she couldn’t shake the feeling that after four months in the wilderness, Jackie Taylor had finally given up.

  000000000000000000000000

  The early hours of daylight made their way into Tommy’s eyes, and he turned his head away from them, snuggling deeper into Natalie.

  Brrr. The attic was a lot colder than he remembered it being the previous morning.

  We have meat for today, he reminded himself. We can postpone the hunt, at least for now. Good thing too, I don’t know why it’s so cold-

  Then Tommy’s eyes snapped open as he realised what had happened. He looked to the attic’s window, hoping he was wrong, but there was no mistaking the snow on the windowsill.

  Winter. How could it be here already? He rose out of bed and walked over to the window. It should have been another couple of weeks at least, how could this be happening-

  Then Tommy saw the figure laying down in front of the now-burned-out campfire.

  “Jackie”, he breathed. “No!”

  His shout woke the girls in the attic.

  “Tommy?” Natalie groaned at him. “What’s going on-”

  “It snowed last night”, he interrupted her, beginning to pull on his shoes. “Jackie’s still out there.”

  “She’s what?!” Shauna screamed at him, throwing aside her own bedcovers.

  Oh, God, Tommy thought, scrambling down the ladder and charging out the door, stepping on several sleeping girls in the process.

  “Ow!”

  “What the hell?!”

  “Oh, my God. It snowed?”

  Tommy ran over to Jackie, frantically brushing the snow away from her face, which showed none of its usual colour.

  No. Don’t be dead. PLEASE don’t be dead. Why didn’t you come inside, you stupid girl-

  Then Jackie feebly flicked his hands away from her face.

  “What are you doing?” She whispered.

   Tommy was gobsmacked. Jackie was still alive? But as he was about to sigh in relief, he noticed Jackie’s fingers were bright white, while her fingernails were blue as the sky above them.

  They were hard to the touch, and Tommy realised what had happened. Frostbite. No, please no. 

  Then Tommy noticed for the first time that the edge of Jackie’s nose was waxy and white, with a slight bluish twinge.

  “Oh no”, he whispered, as he felt the tears coming to his eyes.

  He scooped Jackie up, ignoring her protests, and carried her inside.

  “We need to light a fire, and boil some water! Get all the spare blankets we have!” He called out, as he lay Jackie down, removing her shoes and socks.

  “Tommy, no. Don’t-”

  But Tommy had already seen. From the tips of her toes to halfway down her feet, Jackie’s skin was white as the snow outside, and her toenails were an even darker blue than her fingernails had been.

  000000000000000000000000

  “We need to get her clothes off. This isn’t the time for modesty, I’m afraid.”

  “We’ll do it”, Natalie stepped in, blinking the tears out of her eyes.

  Why? Why did she have to stay outside? We should have dragged her in last night, kicking and screaming- 

  Natalie swiped at her eyes, and helped the others remove Jackie’s clothes.

  “No, don’t. Stop it-”

  “You heard him, Jackie, this isn’t the time”, Natalie snapped.

  “Please, stop it-”

  They removed Jackie’s clothes, covering her in all the blankets they could spare.

  “I can’t feel my fingers. Or my toes. I can’t… I can’t really smell anything, either.”

  “You have frostbite”, Taissa said to her. “Don’t worry. We’re gonna fix you up.”

  She smiled at Jackie reassuringly, but the team captain didn’t smile back.

  “You should have let me freeze”, she said flatly. Her tone was quiet, but everyone in the room stared at her in shock.

  “W-what?” Natalie gaped at her. Had Jackie been… had she really been staying outside so that she could…

  Now Jackie turned her head towards Natalie.

  “You shouldn’t have made the fire bigger”, she said, in the same eerily calm tone of voice.

  Then she laid her head down on the floor, and did not speak again.

  000000000000000000000000

  “Can we talk?”

  Tommy turned to look at Ben.

  “Uh… okay?” He followed his brother into his room.

  “What is it? Are we doing something wrong?”

  “Not exactly”, Ben said. He winced, but Tommy was confused.

  They had wrapped Jackie in all the spare blankets, parked her in front of the fire, and placed her white, hardened hands and feet in bowls of the boiled water. Tommy was sure they were following the correct procedures, though he wasn’t certain what to do about Jackie’s nose-

  “She’s going to die”, Ben said.

  Tommy stared at him. “What? N-no.”

  “She is. Unless of course, we amputate her hands and feet, and nose as well, but we don’t have any bone saws, nor do we have the resources to keep her from bleeding out.”

  Ben looked at him, grimly. “I’m sorry, but… she’s too far gone. You saw her skin. That’s third-degree frostbite, no question about it. At that stage of it, way out here… she’ll be lucky to make it to next week before the gangrene stops her heart.”

  “No”, Tommy whispered, felling the tears beginning to slide down his cheeks.

  “We tried to tell her to come inside. Why didn’t she listen-”

  Ben put his arms around Tommy as he started to cry into his big brother’s shoulder.

  What do we do? What the ever-loving fuck do we do?

  000000000000000000000000

  Natalie stared at Tommy in shock as he told her what was going to happen to Jackie. She didn’t want to believe him, but she saw the seriousness in his reddened eyes.

  Oh, dear God, she thought, as she felt his arms go around her. We didn’t save her life with the fire. We postponed her death.

  It was horrible to even consider, but maybe they should have just left Jackie alone, without bothering to make her fire any bigger. At least then she might have died quietly in her sleep, instead of staying warm just enough to survive the night while catching frostbite that, according to Tommy, would only kill her slowly without the proper medical treatment.

  “M-maybe we could amputate her fingers and toes?” She said, hopefully.

  “With what?” Tommy asked. “None of the knives we have are strong enough to saw through her bones.”

  “Maybe an axe, then? If we heat it up in the fire, we can-”

  But just as the words left Natalie’s mouth, she realised how stupid they sounded. They weren’t in a hospital. None of them were doctors. They were a bunch of frightened teenagers and a crippled twenty-four-year-old soccer coach, stranded in the Canadian wilderness, which had just entered winter.

  In that moment, Natalie knew that any attempt from their inexperienced hands at removing Jackie’s dying fingers and toes would more than likely cause her to die from blood loss, if she didn’t go into shock first.

  She’s going to die. And there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it. 

  000000000000000000000000

  Jackie hadn’t moved since they placed her hands and feet in the bowls of hot water, and she hadn’t said a word since telling everyone that they should have let her die.

  As night fell, the others curled up asleep around them, and Tommy and Natalie tried to swap out the bowls of cooling water Jackie’s hands and feet were in with some more of the freshly-boiled stuff.

  “No”, Jackie said, still staring into the fire as she lay on the floor.

  “Jackie, please”, Tommy whispered, “You need this to get better-”

  “I’m not getting better.” The corners of Jackie’s mouth twitched, and it looked to Tommy as though she was almost smiling.

  “You think I don’t know what frostbite does to people if they don’t get proper treatment?”

  “You… y-you-”

  “It’s frostbite, Tommy. I’m not stupid.”

  “I-I’m sorry-”

  “It’s okay”, Jackie said. “I was never going to make it out here, no matter how hard anyone tried to help me. I’m just… not built for this.”

  She turned her head to look at Natalie. “Nat, I have… I need something from you.”

  “Uh… ok?”

  “Can Tommy hold me? I’m not going to try anything, I promise, I just… want him to hold me. Please?”

  Tommy saw Natalie hesitate. He knew how protective she was of him; how vindictive she could be if any of the girls dared to make a move on him.

  Then he watched as Natalie swallowed, and nodded.

  “I’m going to go to bed”, she whispered to him. “Come up when you’re done, alright?”

  “Alright”, Tommy whispered back, as Natalie put a hand on his chest and kissed him, deep and slow, before heading up the ladder that led to the attic.

  “She really loves you”, Jackie said.

  “And I really love her, so if you do try anything, I’m leaving you on the floor and joining her.”

  “Deal.”

  Tommy slowly sat on the floor, and gently began to pick Jackie up. As he folded the blankets around the both of them, he was relieved to find that Jackie had been redressed in warm, dry clothes, as she placed her head on his chest.

  “You have a strong heart”, she murmured.

  “Thanks. Nat thinks so too.”

  “Yeah, I bet she does.”

  They were silent for a minute, before Jackie started to speak.

  “I’m sorry, Tommy. I never… I never knew just how good you are at what you do, before we came here. If I did… I wouldn’t have looked twice at Jeff, I promise.”

  She chuckled at the surprised look on Tommy’s face. “Maybe Shauna would have slept with you instead then, huh?”

  “I would have said no." 

  “I believe you. I honestly believe you. You… you are nothing like any of the guys we’ve gone out with before. No wonder… no wonder Nat loves you. And you… you love her so much. I doubt I would have known that kind of love even if we’d never ended up here.”

  Then Jackie cleared her throat, and he saw her smile leave her face. “I’m so sorry. For… the way I’ve acted all this time. It’s just… I’m scared, Tommy. I’m so, so scared.”

  “I understand. I’m scared too. But we can’t give up. We can get through…”

  Tommy trailed off as he saw Jackie turn her head to look at him.

  Oh. Right. There was no we, here. In her condition, Jackie would be dead long before winter ended.

  Tommy wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Jackie, I’m… I’m so sorry this is happening to you. We should have done more for you. We should have brought you inside-”

  “Don’t be sorry. I wanted to die.”

  She said it so calmly, so casually, Tommy could almost pretend that he had misheard her. Almost.

  “What?”

  Jackie shrugged, and her mouth curled slightly upwards.

  “We’re never gonna see home again. This is all there is for us. I wanted out, so… I chose dying in my sleep over going through winter out here. And if you and Nat hadn’t tried to help, that’s exactly what would have happened.”

  “But now…” Jackie trailed off. “Maybe there’s something you can do to… help me along, so to speak.”

  “Uh… what?”

  Then Jackie gestured with her eyes, and Tommy saw she was looking down at the hunting knife on his belt.

  “No. Jackie, no. That’s not going to happen-”

  “You think I don’t know this is going to get worse?” Jackie hissed, holding one of her hands out to Tommy.

  He winced. Despite soaking them in hot water all day, her fingers hadn’t lost their pale, waxy sheen, and her fingernails were still sky-blue.

  “There’s no helping me, Tommy. There’s only… ending it. Please.”

  “No”, Tommy said, disentangling himself from her.

  “Please.”

  But Tommy ignored Jackie’s pleading, and marched straight up the ladder into the attic, where Natalie waited for him.

  000000000000000000000000

  “Did she try anything?” Natalie grinned at Tommy teasingly as he lay down next to her.

  “She wanted me to…” Tommy motioned towards his chest, holding an invisible knife.

  Natalie’s eyes widened. “Did you...”

  “No. No, I left her and came straight up here.”

  “Oh”, Natalie said. A part of her was relieved, but the other part…

  “So… what do we do with her?” She asked him.

  “I… I don’t know. Make her comfortable, I guess, until… until…”

  She dies. So, that was it. There was no hope for Jackie Taylor. It was only a matter of time before she passed on, and their group dropped down to eighteen people. Seventeen, if you didn’t include Javi, and after seeing what a single night in the cold had done to Jackie, neither Natalie nor Tommy were optimistic about his chances, though they didn’t mention this to Travis.

  It took a long time for sleep to come for Natalie that night, and the second morning of winter did not bring good tidings. A blizzard sprung up, trapping them all inside, and for the first time since arriving at the cabin, Natalie and Tommy did not venture outside of it for the entire day.

  They had to resort to using one of the cabin’s buckets as a toilet, and at the end of the day, after drawing straws, Travis ‘volunteered’ to go outside and dispose of their waste. Natalie had wondered if he’d seen Jackie out in the cold on his way back from searching for Javi. When asked, he claimed that he had come in using the cabin’s back door, and hadn’t seen her, but he looked away from Natalie when he said it, and she suspected he was lying.

  If he was, she couldn’t blame him for feeling guilty, not with Jackie in her current state. Lying on the floor the whole day through, the Yellowjackets’ captain didn’t move a muscle, didn’t eat a thing, and didn’t say a word. When they checked her fingers again in the afternoon, Natalie recoiled as she saw the fluid-filled blisters starting to develop on them, swelling the digits up to almost twice their normal size. They had emerged on Jackie's toes as well, while the skin had only become even more pale and stiff, and her fingernails, toenails, and nose had become a much, much darker shade of blue. They even smelled different now. They smelled like… well, like death, Natalie supposed.

  Natalie saw Tommy wince as he gazed at Jackie, and Natalie knew he was feeling the same guilt as her, though she tried to tell herself that nobody but Jackie was to blame. She had wanted to die, and Natalie wasn’t sure what would happen if she tried to make another attempt.

  000000000000000000000000

  Tommy knew he would likely not recover from this. He knew that there would be those amongst the group that would not understand, and hate him for doing it. But as he saw Jackie lying on the cabin’s floor, looking utterly defeated and at death’s door, he began to reconsider what she had asked of him.

  Should he tell Natalie? He didn’t want to, but… he felt like she would understand.

  Please, please let her understand. 

  How different could it be, really? Tommy had killed so many animals over the years, he was sure the difference would be… marginal, at best.

  Except it isn’t. Because you’re talking about murder.

  It isn’t murder, it’s mercy!

  Tommy wrestled with his thoughts. He needed to talk to Natalie, so he motioned her over, and they shut themselves in Ben’s room.

  “I know I said I wasn’t gonna do it, but…” Tommy motioned towards the other room. “Jackie’s not going to get better.”

  That was all he said, and he saw Natalie’s eyes widen, then narrow in sadness.

  “Are you sure? Are you really, truly sure there is no other way?”

  “I am. I wish there was another way, but… there just isn’t.”

  Tommy paused. “She’s going to die, regardless. At least this way… she won’t have to go through days, maybe weeks of suffering.”

  He was trying to convince himself more than Natalie at this point, but as he saw the tears gather in her eyes, he also saw her nod.

  “Okay”, she whispered, as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. “When… when will you do it?”

  “Tonight. After everyone has gone to bed.”

  “Do… do you want me there with you?”

  “No”, Tommy said, firmly. This terrible, murderous act he was considering would not be witnessed by anyone but himself.

  As they left the room, Tommy saw Shauna sitting next to Jackie, trying to convince her to eat something. Jackie didn’t so much as twitch, and Tommy immediately felt an immeasurable sadness.

  They had no idea. No idea at all that this would be the last day they spent together.

  000000000000000000000000

  When Natalie lay down with Tommy that night, she could feel him shaking, and she snuggled further into him. She had been quietly relieved when he said she didn’t have to accompany him, but she did not envy him for what he was about to do.

  The idea of killing someone, even out of mercy, repulsed her, but Natalie remembered the sight of Jackie’s pale, dead skin and darkening nails, and felt her heart harden.

  It had to be done. The thought didn’t make things any easier, but… there was no other way. Natalie hoped the others would be able to accept that.

  At some point during the night, Tommy disentangled himself from her arms, quietly dressed, and left the attic.

  Please make it quick, Natalie thought, as she felt a tear sliding down her cheek.

  000000000000000000000000

  Tommy slowly approached the sleeping Jackie, gripping the knife. His entire body was trembling.

  I need to be strong. I need to be ruthless. I need to be… merciful.

  He gently shook Jackie awake. She blinked up in annoyance at him, but as she saw the knife, he saw her eyes widen, before she nodded.

  Jackie rose into a sitting position, and Tommy knelt beside her. He was still shaking hard, and he felt like he was going to be sick.

  “I…”

  “Please, Tommy. Please”, she whispered.

  He put one hand on Jackie’s shoulder, and heard her let out a sigh of what seemed like relief as his other hand slid the knife between her ribs.

  000000000000000000000000

  As Natalie awoke, shivering, she realised Tommy was not next to her, and she instantly knew where he would be. She dressed slowly, hoping to stall for time, but eventually she quietly clambered down the ladder, to where Tommy was sitting, cradling Jackie in his arms. She looked like she could be sleeping, but Natalie saw the dark stain on her shirt, right where she knew Jackie’s heart would be.

  So, that was it, then. Jackie Taylor, the captain of the Yellowjackets’ Girls varsity soccer team, was dead.

  As Natalie sat next to Tommy, she held out one of her hands, and he took it. Natalie wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but she knew she would not leave Tommy’s side.

  “You and me”, she whispered, and Tommy nodded, the tears staining his face as she squeezed his hand.

  They stayed there in silence for a moment, before Natalie saw Tommy’s eyes widen. 

  “What are you guys doing?”

  Natalie jumped. She hadn’t heard Shauna approaching behind her. 

  No. God, please no. Not Shauna. Don’t let Shauna be the one to find out about- 

  “Jackie?” Shauna croaked, right before she started to scream.

And that's the end of season one. It has been an adventure getting here, but I am truly grateful if you have decided to read through the whole thing.

Season Two coming soon.

Vale, Jackie Taylor. Rest in peace.

[p4lm5prings]

MCU character playlist masterpost

*Crossed-out playlists are playlists that will be linked eventually!

Thunderbolts* The New Avengers

Yelena Belova / Black Widow Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier Bob Reynolds / Sentry Alexei Shostakov / Red Guardian Ava Starr / Ghost John Walker / U.S. Agent The New Avengers Antonia Dreykov / Taskmaster Valentina Allegra de Fontaine

Fantastic Four

Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic Sue Storm / Invisible Woman Johnny Storm / Human Torch Ben Grimm / The Thing The Fantastic Four

Avengers (og6)

Steve Rogers / Captain America Tony Stark / Iron Man Thor Odinson Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow Bruce Banner / The Hulk Clint Barton / Hawkeye The Avengers

Avengers (and just who I assume will be avengers in doomsday lol)

Sam Wilson / Captain America Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel Wanda Maximoff / The Scarlet Witch Shang-Chi Scott Lang / Ant-Man Peter Parker / Spider-Man Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk Stephen Strange / Doctor Strange Joaquin Torres / Falcon James "Rhodey" Rhodes / War Machine Hope van Dyne / The Wasp The Vision Pietro Maximoff / Quicksilver

Young Avengers

Kamala Khan / Ms. Marvel Kate Bishop / Hawkeye Cassie Lang / Stature Billy Maximoff / Wiccan Tommy Maximoff / Speed America Chavez Riri Williams / Ironheart

Daredevil / Defenders saga

Matt Murdock / Daredevil Foggy Nelson Karen Page Frank Castle / The Punisher Ben "Dex" Pointdexter / Bullseye Kirsten McDuffie Nelson, Murdock and Page Maya Lopez / Echo Jessica Jones Elektra Natchios Luke Cage Billy Russo / Jigsaw Trish Walker / Hellcat Ray Nadeem Claire Temple

Spider-Verse

Peter Parker / The Amazing Spider-Man (Andrew) Peter Parker / Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man (Tobey) Michelle "MJ" Jones Ned Leeds Mary Jane Watson Gwen Stacy Felicia Hardy / Black Cat

Agatha All Along

Agatha Harkness Rio Vidal / Death

Guardians of the Galaxy

Peter Quill / Star-Lord Gamora Rocket Raccoon Nebula Mantis Drax the Destroyer Adam Warlock

X-Men / Mutants

Wade Wilson / Deadpool Logan / Wolverine Scott Summers / Cyclops

Asgard and TVA

Loki Laufeyson King Valkyrie Jane Foster / Mighty Thor Lady Sif Darcy Lewis Hela Odinsdottir Sylive Laufydottir Mobius M. Mobius

Wakanda

Shuri / Black Panther T'Challa / Black Panther Nakia Okoye Namor the Submariner M'Baku Erik Killmonger

Moon Knight

Marc Spector / Moon Knight Steven Grant / Mr Knight Jake Lockley / Moon Knight Layla El-Faouly / Scarlet Scarab

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. / Agent Carter

Maria Hill Sharon Carter / Agent 13 / Power Broker Peggy Carter Phil Coulson Daisy Johnson / Quake Melinda May Jemma Simmons Leo Fitz Bobbi Morse / Mockingbird Lance Hunter Alphonso "Mack" Machenzie Elena "Yo-Yo" Rodriguez Deke Shaw Grant Ward Daniel Sousa Edwin Jarvis Dottie Underwood / Black Widow

S.W.O.R.D. and S.A.B.E.R. (and other agents)

Monica Rambeau / Photon Nick Fury Everett Ross Jimmy Woo

Eternals

Sersi Thena Makkari Phastos Druig Kingo Ajak Gilgamesh Ikaris Sprite Eros / Starfox

Werewolf by Night

Jack Russell / Werewolf by Night Elsa Bloodstone

[cosmic-kid-in-motion]

Love Will Abide: A fandom fundraising event

Last fall I was struggling to get enough money to register for classes, did a go fund me. I promised I’d put money back into the community. Well, I’ve been blessed to get a better paying job and am doing better for myself!

This semester I’m going an independent study on lgbt music history and combined with Oscar Isaac and Pedro pascals outspoken support for lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 persons, I decided to start a fundraiser for Stonewall Housing! I was also inspired by @toxicanonymity using her platform to help mobilize, I thought: why not me too?

What do I do?

All you gotta do is send me an ask telling me you donated to Stonewall Housing, a project helping lgbt people leave unsafe environments and secure housing. Housing is a major way to keep people away from crime, unhealthy drug use, and out of domestic violence and abuse.

I’ve been told the charity doesn’t have a payment option for USA! Here is what Olive did

If that doesn’t work for you, alternate lgbt housing charity in the USA is Ali Forney center, but any lgbt housing project or lgbt charity will be accepted! So if you wanna donate to your local shelter, a shelter supporting lgbt indigenous peoples, or trans specific or whatever go ahead!

How much do I donate?

Anything! A dollar is 💯 allowed 🥰

Do I need to show evidence or receipts?

Nope! This is operating on good faith.

What do I get?

A drabble of your choice!

Choose from

Oscar Isaac characters: Santiago Marc Steven Jake llewyn Poe Leto

Pedro pascal characters: Joel, Javi p or Javi g, Frankie Clint Kermit

Other: Logan Howlett, Kurt Wagner Scott summers Remy lebeau rogue, Eddie Brock Steve Murphy Will and Ben miller Tommy miller

Combinations are allowed if you wanna see a ship! Tell me smut or fluff or both, and what you wanna see!

For every donation you make, I’ll donate $5 usd to stonewall housing as well!

Send an ask after donation any time between now END OF MAY!

Drabbles might take a little time to come out since I’m busy with my disability event but I’ll get them all!

[ingek73]

…

About 150 people carrying St George’s Cross flags, shouting “you’re not English any more” and “paedo Muslims off our street”, were greatly outnumbered in Leeds by hundreds of counter-protesters shouting “Nazi scum off our streets”. Skirmishes broke out between demonstrators and punks – in town for a festival – in Blackpool, with bottles and chairs thrown.

In Bristol, police kept protesters and counter protesters apart before a group headed to a hotel used to house asylum seekers.

The need for urgent political intervention was stressed by the government’s independent adviser on political violence and disruption, Lord Walney, who told the Observer that new emergency powers may be needed. “The system isn’t set up to deal with this rolling rabble-rousing being fuelled by far-right actors,” he said.

“I think home office ministers may want to look urgently at a new emergency framework – perhaps temporary in nature – that enables police to use the full powers of arrest to prevent people gathering where there is clear intent to fuel violent disorder.”

Keir Starmer held a meeting of senior ministers on Saturday in which he said police had been given full support to tackle extremists who were attempting “to sow hate by intimidating communities”. He made clear that the right to freedom of expression and the violent scenes over recent days were “two very different things”.

Last week’s riots followed the killing of three young girls at a Taylor Swift-themed dance class in Southport on Monday. Axel Rudakubana, 17, from Lancashire, is accused of the attack, but false claims were spread online that the suspect was an asylum seeker who had arrived in the UK by boat. In the wake of these messages, far-right protesters – guided by social media – gathered in cities across the country.

A key factor in this spread of online disinformation involved Elon Musk’s decision to allow rightwing activists such as Tommy Robinson back onto his social media platform X, said Joe Mulhall, director of research at Hope not Hate, the anti-fascism organisation. “The initial disinformation and anger was being perpetrated by individuals on Twitter, for example, that have been previously deplatformed,” he said. “And now they’ve been replatformed.”

Robinson was permanently banned from the platform (then called Twitter) in March 2018, then reinstated in November last year, after Musk bought it. “We hadn’t seen any significant numbers at any demonstrations since 2018,” Mulhall added.

An example of the danger posed by the misuse of social media was revealed in Stoke-on-Trent, where police were forced to deny there had been a stabbing, countering claims made on social media. “There is growing speculation that a stabbing has taken place as a result of the disorder today. We can confirm this information is false and no stabbings have been reported to police or emergency responders, despite videos fuelling speculation on social media,” police said.

The danger of such intervention was stressed by Ben-Julian “BJ” Harrington, the National Police Chiefs Council lead for public order, who condemned social media disinformation as a cause of last week’s disorder.

He said: “We had reports today that two people had been stabbed by Muslims in Stoke – it’s just not true. There’s people out there, not even in this country, circulating and stoking up hatred, division and concerns in communities that they don’t care about, don’t know and don’t understand.”

[born-to-lose-writing]

Masterlist - blurbs (self insert; pt. 1)

♡ - fluff, ♤ - angst, ☆ - smut, ♧ - platonic

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody cast - Bon Jovi - Mötley Crüe - Hanoi Rocks

Roger Taylor

Meeting Roger after making out at a party ♤ || Ao3

Decorating the nursery with Roger ♡ || Ao3

Roger making you feel better about your body ♡ || Ao3

Being Roger's neglected daughter from a one-night stand ♤ || Ao3

Brian May

Falling in love with Brian after leaving Roger ♡♤ || Ao3

Ben Hardy

Going on a Christmas walk ♡ || Ao3

Celebrating Father's Day ♡ || Ao3

Joe Mazzello

Joe comforting you when you've got a headache ♡ || Ao3

Halloween ♡ || Ao3

Joe finding out you have a child from another relationship ♡ || Ao3

Baby shower ♡ || Ao3

Joe playing the guitar for you ♡ || Ao3

Gwilym Lee

Getting into a car crash while being pregnant ♤ || Ao3

Jon Bon Jovi

Jon fighting a guy for you ♤ || Ao3

Jon singing your baby to sleep ♡ || Ao3

Jon playing with puppies ♡ || Ao3

Saying goodbye to Jon before his tour ♤ || Ao3

Richie Sambora

Going hiking ♡ || Ao3

Richie flirting with you like he doesn't know you ♡ || Ao3

High school reunion date ♡ || Ao3

Richie proposing to you in Paris ♡ || Ao3

Richie asking you to be part of a music video ♡ || Ao3

Nikki Sixx

Convincing him to quit drugs ♤ || Ao3

Enemies to lovers ♤☆ || Ao3

Being in an on-off relationship ♤♡ || Ao3

Nikki talking you out of a panic attack ♤♡ || Ao3

Tommy helping you to make Nikki jealous ♤♡ || Ao3

Valentine's Day ♤♡ || Ao3

Nikki proposing to you ♡ || Ao3

Nikki falling in love with his groupie ☆♡ || Ao3

Getting back together after Nikki cheated on you ♤☆ || Ao3

Tommy Lee

Amusement park date ♡ || Ao3

Vince Neil

Sleeping over at Vince's house ♤♡ || Ao3

Taking care of Vince's injury after a fistfight ♤♡ || Ao3

Sami Yaffa

Sami reacting to your nipple piercings ☆♡ || Ao3

Morning sex ☆♡ || Ao3

Sami comforting you when you're stressed from work ♤♡ || Ao3

Razzle Dingley

Stopping Razzle from going with Vince ♤♡ || Ao3

[silly-mox]

What Fandoms I write for and who -

Marvel -

Yelena belova

Loki

Wolverine

Deadpool

Hawkgirl

Natasha Romanoff

Doctor strange

Wanda maximoff

Pietro maximoff (specifically Aaron Taylor Johnson)

Remy lebeau

Daredevil

Sentry

Tony Stark (maybe, I kinda hate him)

Spider man/Peter parker

Cyclops

Shang-chi

Bucky Barnes

Hockey -

Quinn Hughes

Jack Hughes

Marc Andre Fleury

Brad marchand

Jeremy swayman

Pyotr kochetkov

Joseph woll

Mitch marner

Vince Dunn

Sidney Crosby

Macklin celebrini

Will Smith (hockey, duh)

Kris letang

Evgeni Malkin

Brock boeser

Ethan Edwards

Nico hischier

Dylan Larkin

Alex Lyon

Auston Matthews

Luke Hughes

Seth Jarvis

(many more players! I also will take requests)

Formula one/indycar -

Kimi raikkonen

Sebastian vettel

Nico Rosberg

Sergio "checo" Perez

Carlos sainz

Max verstappen

Charles leclerc

Jenson button

Fernando Alonso

Esteban ocon

Pierre gasly

Jack doohan

Pato o'ward

Logan Sargeant

Oscar piastri

Alex albon

Lando Norris

Lance stroll

Yuki tsunoda

Colton herta

David malukas

Christian lundgraad

Marcus Armstrong

Kimi antonelli and Ollie bearman (platonic only)

Eurovision -

Joost Klein

Baby lasagna

Tommy cash

Kaarija

Jann

Maneskin (damiano and Victoria)

Lukas from Katarsis

Danya from ziferblat

Kaj (literally all of them)

Go-jo

Bojan from joker out

Erika vikman

WWE/AEW -

Rhea Ripley

Damian priest

Christian cage

Edge

Dominick Mysterio

Mcmg

Nick Wayne

Eddie Kingston

Jay white

Kenny Omega

Kyle Fletcher

Will ospreay

La Knight

Hook

Orange Cassidy

Iyo sky

Tiffany Stratton

Gunther

Hangman Adam page

Young bucks

Jon moxley

Wheeler yuta

Swerve Strickland

Willow nightingale

Toni storm

Mine shirakawa

Mjf

Speedball Mike Bailey

Harley Cameron

Mariah May

Joe Hendry

Ethan page

Chyna

Shawn Michaels

Mick Foley

AJ Lee

Cm punk

Drew McIntyre

Seth Rollins

Sheamus

The gunn brothers

Kip sabian

Mxm

Maxine dupri

Finn Balor

(and a lot more! I take requests and obviously will make a post for who I do not write for)

Horror movie characters/ horror characters -

Ghost face (stu macher and Billy loomis)

Hannibal lecter (2013 Hannibal)

Will graham (2013 Hannibal)

Mark Hoffman

Maxine (from X trilogy)

Lisa Frankenstein (x OC or platonic if reader only)

Jennifer check (another x OC or maybe reader depends)

Tiffany Valentine

Frank from Abigail

Patrick Bateman (depends)

Dennis crim

Umbrella academy -

Five Hargreaves

Ben Hargreaves (umbrella vers, maybe sparrow)

Klaus Hargreaves

Hazel

Victor Hargreaves

Diego Hargreaves

Lila pitts

Jayme Hargreaves

Sloane Hargreaves

YouTubers -

The boys (juicy, Eddie, mully)

Sam and Colby

Chrismd

Clooless gang (pezzy, grizzy, puffer, droid)

Smii7y

Sidemen (Harry, Simon, Josh.)

Alpharad

Yumi

Cjya

Blarg

Hasan piker

Mortal Kombat

Johnny cage

Reptile

Kenshi

Bi-han or sub zero

Raiden

Scorpion

Smoke

Kitana

Miscellaneous movies and show characters I'll write for -

The boys TV show (soldier boy, Billy Butcher)

Top gun Maverick (Bob, hangman, rooster)

Twisters 2024 (Javi, Kate, Tyler)

Pokemon horizons (friede)

Stranger things (Steve, Robin, Nancy, Billy, and Eddie)

Death of a unicorn (Shepard leopald, Ridley)

Final destination (Erik, Bobby, Erin, Ian, Rory, Olivia.)

Spencer charnas from ice nine kills

[cosmickid-inmotion]

Favorites of 2023

Hi! I've seen a lot people doing these so I thought I would too!

These are all sorts of Oscar Issac/Pedro Pascal fics that delighted me this year <3

I tried to keep it to one rec per author just because I have soooooo many friends with wonderful fics and blogs who deserve recognition

If yours didn't make it, NO FEAR you are still wonderful to me &lt;3

Everything is labeled properly in the fic so be warned, many of this contains dark!

3 series that I couldn't stop thinking about

Hungry Hearts By @atinylittlepain: The Last of Us, A Bruce Springsteen themed Joel series? SHEEEEEEEESH

Yearling by @justagalwhowrites : The Last of Us, Jackson!Joel and a victim of prolonged sexual assault. If you know me, you know I love a traumatized reader healing with the power of love and friendship

The Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : Moon Knight, NON CON, dark moon boys is always a slay but the way Marc is so tortured and Steven is so needy?!?!?!?! Mels characterization of Steven may or may not have influenced my Ben in ROF

Three fics that rewired my brain

On the Waterfront by @beefrobeefcal : Triple Frontier, Now, I've always loved a tubby man with a belly (who else had a crush on Samwise Gamgee in LOTR?) BUT DARK FRANKIE?!?!?!?! Turned it into a full obsession.

I can be your pretty girl by @walkintotheriveranddisappear : The Last of Us, Wow, I devoured every single chapter!!! I thinka bout it so much, ESPECIALLY that scene with Tommy... I've never looked at a pool ball the same way.

Dancing With Wolves by @hon3yboy : Moon Knight, Now, I'm not the biggest monster fucker out there, but this?!?!?!?! WEREWOLF MARC SPECTOR??? Unwell about it.

3 times men jerking off was hot

Caught by @toxicanonymity : The Last of Us, I've mentioned in the authors note for Keep Cry'n that this fic inspired it, it's one I go back to allllll the time

Take Care of me Tonight by @missdictatorme : Moon Knight, Jake is horny and lonely and jerks of..... reader helps, and makes our boy feel special <3

Pent Up by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Narcos, Javi is... well... pent up, needs to let loose! and boy does he.

4 times it got gay bc something is wrong with me and I couldn't decide

Behind Enemy Lines by @astroboots : Triple Frontier, Y'all know how much I love this series, seeing as I wrote a fic for it XD but this chapter is something i always hold close <3

Captain of the team by @writefightandflightclub : Triple Frontier, MAAAAAANNNNN this fic is why I will never be the same as a person.

Trine by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : Sucker Punch. Anyone who reader blue jones should be reading this. Incredible.

What if he never had to go? by @velocibeewords : Triple Frontier, The infamous series I read on my friend bachelorette weekend! So good I couldn't put it down, going so far as to read it at a casino XD Benny and Santi, my babies

3 times underused characters shined

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : The Two Faces of January, Tell me, how does someone take a character with almost no following and make a series so damn beloved by many??? Only Mona could.

My Ex's Tapes by @runa-falls : Lighteningface, Basil Stilt AND Jake Lockley??!?! God bless this mess hnnggggg

I'm Getting What's Mine by @winniethewife : The Card Counter, dub con, I think we as a society need more William Tell, and sensory deprivation to break down reader? Amazing.

3 times they talked dirty to me *trumpet noises*

Not a Survivalist Girl by @tightjeansjavi and @chaotic-mystery : The Last of Us, when they finally fuck??? HELLO?!?!! unreal

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee : The Last of Us, Joel is so degrading and condescending in this I think about it so much it's fucking unreal.

Making Trouble by @juneknight : Moon Knight, The fic that completly fried the brains of the moon knight fandom. "You cried like I was killing you—except you were begging me not to stop" yeah. Yeah...

3 times there were three or more

The story of us by @pimosworld : Triple Frontier, This series has a special place in heart bc Priscilla said I influenced a lo of it with the characterizations and thats such a big honor. Priscilla Is so talented and I adore how she writes these guys... and the FishBen wins my heart

Eyes on Me by @cavillscurls : The Last of Us, Soft Joel? Tommy watches? AFTERCARE?!?!?! Y'all know how much I love aftercare.... I should read this again shouldn't I?

Run the Table by @katiexpunk : The Last of Us, MORE TOMMY JOEL THREESOME! MORE!!!! This one came out recently so its still fresh in my mind

3 Times I should NOT have been into that

No Soul to Sell @atticrissfinch : The Last of Us, NON CON V DARK, this is the fic that made me like... yeah I'm into piss. No doubt. It was so dark and hot ;-;

Plushies Series by @pedge-page The Last of Us, Haru knows how much I love this, and it was a toss up between this and their piss kink but seeing as I got that above.... plushes needs more love bc its so soft and domestic and horny <3

Plaything by @missannwinchester : The Last of Us, wow, I adored this fic… then I lost it!!!! Thank you to everyone who helped find it bc it’s one of my favs. I wanna be Joel’s lil doll he dresses up 🥺

3 times I said “this is underrated af”

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : The Last of Us, Are y'all tired of me talking about this fic yet? Koshka told me my series The Wrong Way inspired this so it's special to my heart <3

Safe by @criticallyacclaimedstranger and @apascalrascal : Triple Frontier, Cal has so many good Frankie one shots it was hard to pick, but this one is sooooo soft. We love Frankie being willing to listen and learn.

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Triple Frontier, Y'all know I love a traumatized reader learning to heal, but his fic is fantastic bc it's a traumatized reader who has done a lot of the work already and is strong and brave as it is <3 Also, all 4 of the guys are her friends now which is the best way to have a fic

Thank you all soooooo much for all these amazing fics and for a great 2023! Well. Not so great, I had terrible time lol but y'all were my solace <3

If you feel so inclined, check out my best of year wrapped for both RomanaRose and Romana-after-dark

I'm not gonna say 2024 is my year, I leanred my lesson XD I am approaching 2024 with RESPECT. It will be the year it is.