#may have gone slightly overboard with the pics

[ghostoffuturespast]

OC Vibes: Valerie Hye-jin Li

Rules: Post Your OC and then 4 Random Pictures (or more) with no explanation to convey your characters vibe.

Saw @techrotting do one of these, and was like, yeah I'll do one too. Haven't done a moodboard for Grandpa in a while. Still don't think I'm going to top the first one I ever made. But here's to trying lol.

Tagging, with no pressure @baublekute @shimmer-like-agirl @leota-nexus @streetkid-named-desire @elmknight

And if you'd like to do it and weren't tagged, please do!

[imaginesmai]

Peter Parker - Health class, horny teenagers and sex

Plot: Your highschool tries to be as open as possible by giving a ‘sex care’ talk in health class. Flash is the typical teenager who watches porn and talk too much about girls. And Peter, is just nervous

or

Sex is not a rule and Peter Parker isn’t the exception.

or

Kind of a frustation-fic where the writer wants to show that it’s okay to be a virgin and don’t enjoy sex.

Warnings: NO SMUT

You sat on the toilet seat, knees pulled up to your chest and anxiety fluttering in your stomach as you kept staring at the wall in front of you. May’s bathroom was cute; it was filled with some beauty products, but on the majority it was small and neat. You had been there before, yet until that moment you hadn’t had stopped to really look at it. The shiny bath in the corner that still had the strawberry shampoo Peter loved so much. The pale blue towels that matched the walls. The white, wooden bin that was behind the sink.

You trailed your eyes from the wall to the door, that had been closed for more than ten minutes. Behind it, was Peter Parker, probably as nervous as you. You knew he was eaten alive by nerves more often than not, and you hiding in the bathroom was doing nothing good to the situation. But you couldn’t find the strength to leave the bathroom, at least not yet.

You had shared a bed before over the past several months, usually his since the apartment was mostly empty. You liked sharing his space, liked the warmth of his body and the sound of his breathing, his arms around you. You had just slept, curled together under the covers; nothing beyond kissing, and you had been happy with that.

But lately, both of you lived with the aching feeling that there was more, and that you wanted it.

In highschool you had heard about sex, maybe too much even, and in health class they had explained you how to put a condom and avoid STD. Through the whole hour, you had avoided Peter’s eyes and he had avoided yours. And now, the weekend after that talk, you were spending the night at Peter’s.

“Um, Y/N?” Peter’s hesitant voice came through the door. “Are you – everything alright?”

“Yeah!”

As if to prove your point, you rose up from the toilet seat and walked towards the door, not opening it yet. Moments ago, you had been laying in the couch watching a film, lazily making out. The film had ended and you had decided to go to bed, choosing not to notice how Peter kept a cushion on his lap while you ran to the bathroom. Where you were still locked, trying to decide if you were really going to do it or to jump out of the window.

Peter misunderstood your internal monologue as you being uncomfortable in his house, and even though you couldn’t see him, his shoulders slumped down and he dropped the smile.

“If you want to… call your mom or anything, it’s fine” he suggested. “Or I can swing you home”

That Peter was nervous only confirmed what you were afraid of; both of you were thinking about the health class and wanted to continue what happened in the couch. You cursed yourself because, to him, it seemed that you didn’t want to. Which wasn’t true, because you had gone to the mall with MJ after class earlier and you had bought some black lingerie. That was the whole motive of your doubts in the bathroom.

You looked to the mirror once more, thinking again that you had gone a bit overboard with it, and checked how the underwear looked on you. Indeed, it was so good that it boosted your confidence up a bit. You lowered again the long shirt-dress you wore at night and opened the door.

“Sorry, I was just – sorry” you chuckled, not being able to say any excuse. Peter blinked at you and attempted to brush off the sad face. “I’m staying. We’ve done this before. It’s – it’s fine”

Peter nodded to every word you said, not tearing his brown warm eyes from you. You smiled at him and walked past his frozen body into the hallway. The apartment was similar to the bathroom; small, but cute. It wasn’t as neat, probably because of Peter and his clumsiness, that tended to leave socks everywhere.

You felt  the previous tension left your shoulders when you finally entered Peter’s room. It was all the same as when you slept together before, with the space themed sheets and the parts of some technological device laying around. You laid on your usual spot on the bed, and waited until Peter took of his slippers and socks and got into bed. Instead of becoming a mess of arms and legs like usually, you didn’t move.

Peter’s nose brushed yours as you brought your hands close to your chest. The dim light that he always kept on in the hallway, and the night lamp behind him created an intimate environment. It would have been enough to doze you to sleep if your thoughts hadn’t been jumping crazy in your head. Knowing Peter wouldn’t say anything, you talked.

“This week’s talk was cool” you said, looking at Peter’s chin.

“Yeah” he rasped out. “Well, I was – Flash was behind me, and was saying… stuff.”

You hummed. Flash was the typical teenager who talked about boobs and ass all day but hadn’t seen one yet. He ogled the older girls and had some debatable pics on his phone. But Peter, as the teacher showed a female body on the screen and Flash took some photos under the desk, could only think about watching you like that.

“Betty was talking too” you looked at him in the eye, and decided you would just say it out loud. “She was – she said it’s something lovely if you do it with the right person, and I think you’re my right person”

Peter actually chocked on his breath, and his eyes went wide. Was he thinking about it during the whole film, even when he pressed a cold ice pack to his groin? Of course, and it wasn’t the first time he did it. He was, however, as awkward as he could be. Blush creeping his cheeks, mouth pressed in a tight line and not tearing his eyes from your eyebrow. Not even your eyes, because he felt as if he could melt into a puddle.

Thankfully for the both of you, you had known Peter for a while now, and you didn’t misunderstood his silence. MJ had made sure of it talking to you for a long hour that you didn’t enjoy too much. Your hand brushed his chest through his pyjama top, and you chuckled to yourself. It was nothing like the porn Flash talked about – he was wearing an iron man shirt with thousands small helmets.

“It’s fine if you don’t want anything else” you assured him, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Just kissing is fine with me. And you don’t have to feel pressured because of the talk and what the other boys –“

“It’s not that” Peter interrupted you, looking down to where your hand was. “I really want to, Y/N. I have – wanted it for a long… I just, dunno”

“You don’t know what?” you frowned, for a moment thinking it had to do what you had said. “About the right person?”

“No! It’s not – ugh, Y/N, you know it’s not – you know.” Peter tried to explain uselessly; and when he understood he wasn’t making sense, he sighed and lowered his voice.  “I have never done… it. Not like, Flash and them. I-I have, you know, like everyone. But I have never – I couldn’t”

“I’m a virgin too, Pete” you finally met his eyes. “It’s fine, we don’t have to be perfect. If you don’t feel ready, we can –“

“I’ve never masturbated!”

Peter’s outburst, compared with the quiet and soft room you were in, was quite surprising. It wasn’t what he said that surprised you, but how he did it. You had only heard him scream once or twice when there was too much noise around to be heard. He was always a shy boy with a hard time voicing out his opinion and thoughts. So when, right after the confession came the glassy eyes, you weren’t surprised.

“I can’t because every time I try it just, hurts” he whispered, sadness radiating off him. “I guess it’s because the bite, but I’m too sensitive and – and when I – it just… I’m sorry”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Having sex or not is not going to make me love you any less” you shifted closer to him, until it was as if any other night. “If you want to wait, or if you don’t want to, it’s fine. Last month talk was about different types of sexual attractions, and if you’re asexual or –“

“But I want to, Y/N. I promise” Peter whined again, sniffing slightly. “ When we’re, like, making out or something – I-I want to. Then I… try to do it, and I even tried one of the videos Flash sent to the group. I-I-I-“

You couldn’t help the grimace when he mentioned the video. There was something going on between some of the guys in the class that had them sending porn to the group chat. They had been kicked out a few times, and even some of the teachers knew about it and told them off. But they kept trying to spread those nasty videos, that had nothing to do with the reality of the moment and that usually used girls as sexual objects.

It was not a talk you were willing to have with Peter. A few moments ago, in the bathroom, you had thought it would go way different. You were even scared that Peter turned out not to be a virgin, or that expected too much from you, and your inexperience ass wouldn’t know what to do. You threw through the window every comment you had heard about the man comforting the woman and decided to do what you knew you had to.

“Those videos aren’t good, and the actors are just that; actors. We don’t have to be like that or – or that at all. Flash and his croonies can’t understand what we are or need” you assured him, finally making your way into his arms. “That’s our job. If you want to try with me, we can. And if we have to stop, you’re no less man because of it.”

You felt Peter nodding and internalizing your words, and you mentally high-fived yourself.

In health class, they hadn’t been as open as they wanted to. They had talked about how you have to take precautions and choose carefully who you sleep with. They hadn’t talked about being okay not wanting to have sex at your age, about being normal feeling insecure or just being different. Peter’s body ended up relaxing against yours, the previous tension leaving. There wasn’t any more the need of fulfilling other teenagers’ fantasies and sleeping with each other, or proving to anyone that you wanted to do it.

Eventually, Peter moved closer too, searching for that physical comfort he wanted. You weren’t two different persons nervous about being one; you didn’t have to have sex to do so. There was no space in between, and you felt good enough about it.

“You’re my right person too” Peter went back to his original voice volume. “And I want to… try it with you. Just – not the whole way there, yet. And maybe I have to, uh, stop. Or I can’t make you… you know…”

“It’s fine, we have plenty of time” you chuckled, closing your eyes already. “We don’t have to do anything, fuck health class and the horny teenagers”

Peter chuckled too, and didn’t say anything else. Tomorrow morning, May would be back and probably your mother would call you to take you back him. They had had their own conversations with you too; May with Peter which turned out to be a mess, and you with your mother which wasn’t so good too.

You were almost asleep when you realized that, without really noticing, you had said your first L word to Peter. MJ knew about that too – and she had bet that that night would be the first one where you said so. You already felt it, and Peter too. And it turned out, you didn’t need to have sex to know so.

“Love you too” Peter whispered into your hair.

Health class, Flash, horny teenagers and insecurities could fuck themselves that night, for sure.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists​, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Tom Holland and Peter Parker Taglist

@delicately-important-trash​​

@lexxxistrips​​​​

@smilexcaptainx​​​​

@aikaterrina​​​​

@zalladane​​​

@gypsystuf​​​​ (since you didn’t answer me, I just put you on the general taglist. Let me know if you want to change!)

@nikkixostan​​​

@galaxystern08​

@justifymyfeelings​

[florbelles]

Ultimate Ship Meme: Fairbrooks 🍰 👠

here’s part ii of the clownery, love, this time with minimal contributions from the other one ( for once )

GENERAL

rate the ship awful | ew | no pics pls | i’m not comfortable | alright | i like it! | got pics? | let’s do it! | why is this not getting more attention?! | the otp to rule all other otps

how long will they last? they’re stuck with each other for eternity tbh

how quickly did/will they fall in love? in light of the whole “she’s a seed/they kill each other’s allies for a living/she definitely was originally seducing him to ensnare him for the project/opposite sides of the holy war” thing, embarrassingly quickly, but shhh, you’ll scare them off

how was their first kiss? outside the spread eagle, slightly tipsy, unsuspecting of the iconic love story chaotic nightmare they were about to unleash on themselves, and leading into one of lyra’s many, many crimes against the sanctity of mary may’s establishment

WEDDING

who proposed? ( lyra shot down john’s elaborate “Say Yes To Us” presentation concept before it got off the ground, you’re welcome wes ) there are a few ways they might have gone about this, ranging from but not limited to rings being slipped on fingers mid-sleep and lyra sending john over with a briefcase full of paperwork, but in actuality, it was lyra breathlessly explaining in true seed form an adrenaline fueled moment of emotional vulnerability that she wanted them to belong to each other, completely, forever, for real. maybe she’d drunk half a bottle of whiskey and poured the other half on the stab wound in her thigh, who can say!

who is the best man/men? no one by virtue of the criteria that no member of the wedding party should want to kill one (1) or more of them

who is the bride’s maid(s)? no one, same reason

who did the most planning? their other one was the only one planning anything, let’s be honest

who stressed the most? if they made it this far they’re past the point of stressing tbh, they ended up where they wanted to be ( but actually it was the other one )

how fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 ( only higher than a -1 because of the inherent fanciness of the minicultists ); it’s not a formal thing, it’s just for them and their collective commitment to each other; wes generously allows lyra & john to ink him ( reciprocally ) the way they did each other in place of rings to complete their unholy trinity | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

who was specifically not invited to the wedding? everyone else, but specifically joseph’s hairline; it simply doesn’t exist anymore, they finally did it in.

SEX

who is on top? wes is the lawful switch to lyra’s chaotic, so it can go either way, but for all her ostentation lyra is a secret simp/emotional bottom bitch, so the proverbial coin toss probably lands on wes more frequently; ultimately, though, it’s either/or

who is the one to instigate things? either/or; lyra might be a bit more of an aggressor in the beginning with her Ulterior Motives, but they’re both That Way

how healthy is their sex life? barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they are humping each other on the couch right now

how kinky are they? straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | multiple bingos on the kink forms | don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head it is not a sex dungeon, thanks, it’s a perfectly respectable judgement chamber

how long do they normally last? they’re brats, they like to take their time when they can, but really it’s a question of how long they have before their allies resume murdering each other

do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? the only ones complaining are the ranch staff

how rough are they in bed? softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | the bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make dwayne johnson blush. also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( lyra’s learned to make love at this point despite her Rabid Tendencies, so they Can be soft; enjoy the wall repairs during their hatefucking career though, shaggy )

how much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. ( both secretly Like That, anD WHAT ABOUT IT )

CHILDREN

how many children will they have naturally? three; they made the twins, noah & jolene, and their other one contributed their younger son philip

how many children will they adopt? boomer and john

who gets stuck with the most diapers? shaggy

who is the stricter parent? the other one by virtue of neither of them being Strict (tm)

who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? they’re the ones doing dangerous stunts, they will not be stopped, the other one is Tired

who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? shaggy

who is the more loved parent? PROBABLY WES, lyra makes goddamn sure she isn’t her parents but she’s probably still a bit enigmatic to children, even her own, at least until they’re older

who is more likely to attend the pta meetings? shaggy ( it’s just joseph stressing for two hours straight )

who cried the most at graduation? they have never once experienced an emotion they’re fine they’re good please don’t look at them

who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? they’re either the law or consider themselves the law

COOKING

who does the most cooking? shaggy or casey or bust

who is the most picky in their food choice? neither, but hilariously probably moreso wes despite every appearance to the contrary; lyra finds his aversion to sweets evidence he is truly the antichrist

who does the grocery shopping? no one, lyra & the other one oversee the best stocked pantry in the county. it’s stocked by all the other pantries in the county

how often do they bake desserts? it’s them. they’re dessert. maybe they’re baked idk faith keeps lyra hooked up with the good stuff

are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? as neat as their meat is, they probably lean towards salads after experiencing shaggy’s venison ( but tbh it’s whatever’s served or available )

who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? not anniversary related, it’s just a surprise when wes has dinner! it’s takeout from the spread eagle because lyra got banned after the whole “tried to pacify fall’s end and revealed herself to the whole town as a seed” thing but she misses the grease traps! i jest. ly has her moments. maybe she even reveals the fact she could secretly cook this entire time. maybe. she would honestly probably go for something besides dinner to mark the occasion, though, something more personal to them since that hasn’t been a huge fixture in their relationship and culinary pursuits don’t top their lists

who is more likely to suggest going out? in any other lifetime, it would be lyra, but as it is, neither ( with the rare exception of the testy festy or other sinner-related function; does wes truly wish to attend or does he simply want to watch her willingly suffer for him? who can say! warms the heart. ) mostly the whole cult and opposite sides of the holy war thing keeps them in, but that’s probably where they’d choose to be, anyway.

who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? wes is more likely to burn the house down. not because of cooking just because it’s seed ranch

CHORES

who cleans the room? shaggy

who is really against chores? lyra. it’s lyra. that’s it that’s the whole post

who cleans up after the pets? shaggy

who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? i mean, lyra, of the two of them, but it doesn’t matter, the flock’s gonna get to it eventually. be more concerned about what’s happening on top of that rug, it’s seen some shit

who stresses the most when guests are coming over? neither, though if they’re having guests the statistical odds are that they’re a mortal enemy of one or the other, so they probably should be

who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? there’s literally just money sitting around the house, wes doesn’t have to deep dive if he wants to annoy her with robbery

MISC

who takes the longer showers/baths? showers are very special to them. lyra, functionally, by a considerable amount, but if it’s a communal situation it ends up the same

who takes the dog out for a walk? both if they have the time for it, but boomer’s more likely to go with wes during the day since he’s not favorably disposed towards non-lyra cultists

how often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? wes didn’t find her eyeless tongueless sinner corpses wearing santa hats and antlers amusing, so she won’t be doing that anymore. in all seriousness, if lyra has the ranch decorated it’s because she’s going stir crazy in the cold months and is using extra ass holiday aesthetics to console herself

what are their goals for the relationship? she just wants to take him to church march him right through eden’s gate ( oh lord ) belong to each other tbh

who is most likely to sleep till noon? neither; they’re up before dawn every morning, much to their other one’s eternal chagrin

who plays the most pranks? between hilarious pranks like wes blowing up her property and killing her chosen and lyra abducting and mutilating his allies in absolutely proportionate retaliation, we’ll call them tied. truly their greatest prank was on themselves the day lyra danced to black magic woman on the spread eagle bar, may they never recover from it.

[empty-movement]

Gio here! I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this at all on the Tumblr, but since seeing in the Musical’s extras that they had series accurate playing cards made for a student council skit, I decided HELL I’M GONNA DO THAT TOOOOO. (This is a convenient way to easily test a vendor for the tarot deck we’re totes not planning...) Because I’m me, this spiraled out of control from just custom backs to customizing the Joker, to customizing *all* the face cards, to actually measuring the cards in the anime against common sizes to determine they’re closer to bridge cards than poker ones...

Anyway, I got my test run from the printers today, and they look fantastic! I made a custom box, as well an engraved wooden box for that box, basically a total package. There’s no UTENA on it anywhere, because I wanted it to be plausible in world. If explicit references to characters in the actual cards seems weird to you in that case, may I remind you, this is Ohtori Academy we’re talking about? :D There was a bit of a running joke during production that no one could tell how I’d changed the face cards, hence the walkthrough pic there. I absolutely did intend for them to be very subtle, like enough that you could use these cards with SKU muggles and have them not necessarily notice they’re different. I’m super stoked at how these came out, there’s only a couple teeny things I’m gonna change, but soon enough I’ll be doing a pre-order run for people who want to buy them, since there was demand like, before I even finished them. XD

jgfdjhghdf i’m so proud of myself rn muahaha

[lordbelatiel]

So, I said I’d upload some pics of my Ryders, my beloved children. Except I may have gone slightly overboard and created 180 degree walk arounds for them, oops. 

My siblings are very close to one another, each being the others solace after the death of their mother. Before coming to Andromeda, both got the same tattoo on their left cheek as a sign of solidarity. Ira received his scars during his service protecting the Mass Relay in the Milky Way, when he came up against a pirate with a very unusual multipronged OmniBlade that almost took out his eye. Sara got her scar whilst protecting the Prothean researchers on Mars, where her kinetic barrier saved her from taking the brunt of a Vorcha flamethrower. 

Ira favours biotics and pistols whilst his sister, Sara, prefers the tech and sniping capabilities of an Infiltrator. 

[fansonia]

The Ramblings of a Dork at Disneyland (well, technically California Adventure but STILL

Imma warn you all now: this is gonna be long and rambly and weird, buuuut idk what to do with all this brain info, so I'm just gonna put it all here. Long story short, my inner MCU fangirl is hereby more alive than ever and I'm slightly pissed at my phone. Oh, also I met Cap and Spider-Man, which is kinda the whole reason I wrote this whole thing. Yeah. If you're down for a bit of "light reading" *insert me cackling like a maniac here*, well.....buckle up and let me tell you a story.

(Tumblr mobile doesn't have the "read more" so I apologize for that, just pretend it's there until I edit it back in later. Curse you Tumblr mobile, curse you)

So I got to see Cap first, and he was super sweet and chill and thought I was a sorcerer. Why would he think that, you ask? Well, one, I had my Harry Potter merch, aaaand I may....or may not have.....messed with my flannel and turned it into a makeshift Cloak of Levitation. We talked and I explained my "magic" trinkets (dragon bracelet was a talisman that summoned an ethereal dragon for battle purposes, obsidian/dragonglass necklace, pizza necklace from a friendo (which he said could be my greatest weapon of all...who knows, he could be right), and....yeah. Also he was super confused about what Harry Potter was, and my dad and the staff told him it was like hair-covered pottery or soup or something. Explaining Ravenclaw was even harder, so I kinda simplified it and Mister 1940s kinda got it. Oh, and also we compared Voldemort to Redskull. That was cool. And we got a cool "pose 4 battle" picture.

Oh, side note, he asked me what powers I would have. He theorized maybe something like the Aether or Earth-based, I just....had no idea so I was open to his suggestions. Yeah. He was cool, I got his signature. I was probably super awkward and weird but hey, we still talked and my dad wondered if the dude had a possible crush on me. That's a dad thing, I think, thinking that maybe random dudes would actually like me. Meh, it's sorta reassuring I suppose, thinking that I may not die alone in this world.

OKAY ONTO RAMBLING LIKE AN IDIOT ABOUT SPIDER-MAN, BUCKLE UP MY DUDES

So, first time I went over there, HELLO NERVES MY OLD FRIEND!!! At least, while I was in line. Once I got up to meet him, he was super cool and awkward and sweet and I was totally cool just hanging out with him and talking about stuff. Like, we talked about me maybe being a part of the Avengers, we talked about some possible evil plot stuff involving Edna Mode (long story short: Spidey thought her 'no capes' philosophy was suspish and I was like 'eh you have a point there, there's more to the story that we don't know' and all that. God, I sound like a fangirling Peter Parker writing this. ANYWAYS, we took some pics together and I told him my friend Natalie said hi. Also side note: the suit was a little more Tobey-Maguire-Spidey-esque in design, which was kinda cool and stuff.

So the SECOND time around, I showed up because I realized I never got his signature. Thus, I was like "I gotta go back, that's an important thingy thing" and all that. I waited in line and hung out and sort of sang stuff to myself to keep my nerves from reappearing, because what if someone noticed I'd been there before and said "uh no ler other people get a chance"? Well, the staff up there (this one dude was cool, he was a Hufflepuff and we talked HP the first time I was there, and then this time he asked me what I did since I was last there, and talked and stuff and that was cool), he noticed. Probably since I was still wearing my lucky flannel/cape, but still, he understood and was super chill. And so was Spidey, heck, he even seemed happy I was back! I mean, I get it, how many people come back twice to see you at a Disney park? The chances for that are probably suuuuper slim. So anyways, I went back and got his signature (which my stupid fucking phone thought was the PEEEERFECT thing to DELETE.....THANKS A LOT LG IT'S NOT LIKE I WANTED TO KEEP SPIDEY'S SIGNATURE OR ANYTHING), and I told him some more info about the Edna conspiracy.

I think actually the Edna conspiracy needs its own paragraph. So it all started because Spidey liked my makeshift (short) cape. Going off of that, he told me he thought it was a bit suspicious that she was so hardcore against heroes having capes. I was like, I mean, I get chu, I just don't know if it's worth going evil for, but I get chu. So yeah, it started off of that. Well, to the surpise of many, the new Incredicoaster broke down! People were even STUCK on it! And lucky for me, I got to ride it earlier so it was nbd for me. BUT, I remembered my conversation with Spidey. That's when my inner "oh shit" siren began to wail. I knew I had to tell him. Sure, in terms of ridiculousness, or plausibility in this icky icky real world, totally wasn't the fault of one person. BUT, this was California Adventure and I was (technically) talking to a teenage superhero. So, who needs realism when you can have fun?

Alright, back to the thing with Spidey. So I told him that it was super suspish (like he said) that Edna was RIGHT THERE near the Incredicoaster, and it broke down. I mean, theoretically if Edna Mode ever WENT rogue, being the exclusive suit designer of a popular superhero family would be a PERFECT way to divert attention away from her! That, and she's short so she can hide, according to Spidey. So we basically talked about that, but then I told him I had a darker theory. He was all like "well it's dark out, so I don't mind," (it was nighttime so this actually worked), so I told him my theory. I tokd him that Seán....oh! I told Spidey that Seán loved him and said he was his favorite MCU character and I swear Spidey was so giddy and adorable about it, it was funny....yeah. So I told him Seán made a bunch of characters for his channel, and he may have inadvertently created a monster with glitch capacities to bring down YouTube AND Disneyland.....the one and only Antisepticeye. Immediately, Spidey was like "yep that's definitely who it is, that's our top suspect" and stuff. I mean, DUH, it's Anti. Unless Anti turns out to be being controlled by one of the other egos, or something like that...like he's GOTTA be the top suspect.

Not to mention that my phone MYSTERIOUSLY DELETED SPIDEY'S SIGNATURE, DOTH I SMELL SOME ANTI KERFUCKENING RIGHT THERE, I THINK I DOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Okay, I need to end the rambles soonish here. So last but not least, we took more pictures, I hugged him (both times I actually hugged him, he was sweet about that), and I said my goodbyes. I still REALLY wish my phone had saved the signature....but I have a lot of pictures and video so that's a good. Also both my parents think he had a crush on me. Like, that's TOTALLY a parent thing and I think he was probably just doing his job and stuff, but it's a nice thought to think that maybe people would like me. 'Ya know?

On a more realistic note though: to the guy in the Spidey suit on October 18th 2018, you is a good bean. I seriously loved being able to just talk and act as if I didn't have crippling social anxiety for a little while. Same goes for the guy dressed as Cap, you were cool too. I also seriously doubt either of you guys had crushes on me, so if you wanna help me explain to my parents that 'conversation does not equal romance', I'd be cool with that too. Or if by some weird chance either of you dudes liked me, I'm cool with that too (like I said, kind of a nice thought to be like "eyyy people like me, I may not die alone and stuff"). Yeah.

Okay yeah, that's mainly the gist of it all. Imma go and try to maybe rest and go through the fifty bazillion pictures of California Adventure I have, and the ones my dad has on his phone. I may have gone a bit overboard with memory capturing today. But yeah, anyways, overall it was fun!

If you got to the bottom of this....I don't even know what to call it, I commend you. I'm shocked you have the time and mental willpower/dedication to read though all of this (especially considering the run-ons and inconsistencies), but I'm still proud of you nonetheless. Besides, maybe if you all end up at Disney, you can find these dudes like I did and talk to them! I mean, if me, a hooman with some extremely rusty people skills and anxiety can feel like all was well and cool....I mean, that's gotta be a good sign you'd like hanging with them too, you know?

Anyways, thanks for reading, I'm gonna go and try not to limp a lot, because apparently I'm actually limping rn from walking so much XD. I'll see you lovelies sometime later or so!

💙fαnѕσníα💙

[ozsaill]

Holiday gifts that cruisers want

As avowed minimalists, this feels slightly awkward putting a post of holiday gifts together. But the reality is that there are useful needs to meet in a life afloat. This peek into what works hopefully aids those anticipating a similar path: a personal look what’s worked for us, and what’s on our wish list, as idea fodder for gifts to the the sailors in your life. It’s organized into four angles:

Best additions to Totem this year

Wish list: functional gifts

Wish list: what the crew really wants!

Especially for kids 

I. Best additions to Totem this year

This is a shortlist of items that had the biggest positive impact on board in the last year. Some are practical, some are just for fun / quality of life, a few are a bit of both.

Paddleboard – finally got one on board after The Great Kayak Debacle of 2016. Weighing pros/cons, we picked the durability of a fixed board over a space-saving inflatable. A shorter (10’) Jimmy Styx model (year-end closeout!) is right-sized for our humans and has provided hours of fun and fitness. Siobhan paddles in front of Totem, photo at top.

Underwater dome lens – talk about bang for the buck. Only $50 to get some of my favoritest pictures ever. Just fit the GoPro inside and swim! It’s so flippin’ cool to have split images with above/below water…like this one showing Totem  floating in crystal Bahamian water while a nurse shark dozes on the sand below.

Pic made possible with a dome port lens over GoPro. Me on deck, Jamie in the water; Staniel Cay, Bahamas.

Winches – Jamie likes to fondle our new Andersen stainless steel winches. No, seriously. Aside from the fact they are incredibly sexy mirror-finish stainless, the engineering of these makes them a better mousetrap, starting with guts that require less maintenance. Ribs on the drum don’t need as many wraps for sufficient friction, and they’re kinder to lines than conventional drum texturing. Jamie is all the warm fuzzies from that ribbed drum. I kinda want to get a lascivious picture of him with one.

Mantus scuba– we used to wish for dive gear on Totem, but it never made sense; a mix of upfront cost, equipment x 5 crew, limited space, and just not being die-hard divers. But we do really like getting underwater…a lot! Adding a pair of Mantus tanks has been perfect. Good fun for more marine exploring beyond our freediving skills, plus peace of mind as added safety equipment (invaluable if an anchor fouled below freediving depth / hang time capability).

Kids dive with Mantus scuba. There’s that dome port lens again too!

ACR ResQLink+. This personal locater beacon (PLB) was added to our safety kit for taking off to the Bahamas and beyond. My worst nightmare is losing on-watch crew overboard; I still worry when Jamie’s on watch and I’m “sleeping” off watch – these help me actually relax, knowing he’s basically attached to an EPIRB.

Drone – we picked up a Phantom 3 pro during the post-holiday-sales last year. I know, have been lame about sharing the footage (will provide room & board on Totem for anyone who can train us up!) but – WOW. The images are amazing! I love the bird’s eye view it offers of our life afloat! New Years Resolution: learn editing and share some videos. I’m not kidding about hosting someone who can school us! (Aline are you reading?! )

Culebra, Puerto Rico

Dinghy. When our trusty Avon finally gave up (well, it was 19 years old) in Thailand, the Highfield we replaced it with was… suboptimal. Not big enough, didn’t ride as well. A dinghy is one of the most frequently used bits of gear on board so we felt the gap. The 10.5’ AB (aluminum, double floor, bow locker) we picked up at Tradewind Yachting Services in Nanny Cay in September is AWESOME.

TOTEM shirts! New earlier this year, we adore these super-soft, organic cotton shirts and LOVE seeing people wear them. If you order Totem gear (Ts, caps and a hemp market bag too), send us a picture! 

Show your (neutral, water-based) colors with a yummy soft Totem Tshirt!

II. Wish list: practical

The next set… well, they aren’t exactly sexy holiday gifts. But the way our family looks at the world is in more practical term (I just realized how crazy that probably sounds to a lot of readers- yes, chucking convention to live on a boat with no fixed address is very practical. Really!): these are the practical wish-list expenditures. Right now we’re saving all our pennies to transit the Panama Canal but; some of these we expect (chaps, shade) others are less likely.

Dinghy chaps. Fabric covers fitted to the hypalon tubes extend their life by preventing chafe and reducing UV exposure. These are labor intensive and custom made, haven’t rationalized this expense just yet.

Outboard. Dinghy theme lately? Our outboard has been struggling for over a year, something that dependably gets a full load on a plane would be sweet. This 15hp Yamaha would do us right.

Repaint Totem’s hull. It’s so beat up, the guys working in the shipyard in Grenada were laughing at us—all in good fun—and asking if they could give her a makeover! Hey, there’s a dugout canoe associated with almost every ding, those are good memories…OK yeah it would be nice to have a pretty boat again.

Cockpit shade. We have an AWESOME, pretty new (2016) bimini frame (thank you to the great guys at TurboXS!)…but it still lacks the whole fabric-shade-that-attaches-to-it part. It will be really nice to get the last mile of this addition completed.

Sailrite. We’ve gone back and forth on these durable sewing machines. Cons: machines need to be used to stay workable; they are heavy, and they take up a chunk of storage. But in the Pro column: Jamie could do a lot with one, like dinghy chaps and cockpit shade! He’s a sailmaker, used to be a hands-on in the pit guy and knows his way around a pro machine. Our M.O. to date: Jamie fixes other cruiser’s Sailrites that have stopped working after languishing in a locker by bartering for usage to get a project done.

Making our dodger soft sides in Jacksonville: thanks Patty!

Countertops. The formica installed in Thailand, unfortunately, is not good. It’s a long story. But the formica is nearly worn through, the trim wasn’t done right, and a bunch of other stuff. For the Someday files. Solid surfacing would be so dreamy!

Solid state external drives. The movable parts on hard drives, in computers and external drives, have shorter lifespans with the small constant motions of a boat. SSDs would be less prone to failure. The multiple of expense is unfortunate (and almost rationalized by failed drives!). The only downside: external SSDs are mostly small, so you’d need a bunch to accomodate all the photo and video files a family accumulates. Sample: this Samsung 2TB drive, ~$800.

III. Wish list: just for fun

What’s your heart’s desire? I asked everyone on board to contribute their “wish” gift idea for something they have zero need for, but a dose of desire. This turned out to be difficult: we are pretty good at being satisfied with what we have instead of craving what the boat next door has! But there are some great ways to be indulgent on board. The top five are our personal picks, the rest are from family brainstorming.

Niall: PADI dive certification. (shhh: I think we figured out how to do this affordably enough in Bonaire next month! He doesn’t read the blog – don’t spill the beans anyone!!)

Mairen: horseback riding. (still with the experiences. C’mon Mairen it’s about Stuff! She never got beyond “more art supplies then?”)

Siobhan: a puppy. KIDDING. Except she wasn’t. Her BATNA wish is to have any book she wants for a year. Qualified with “you know I use the library mostly.” People, she reads a LOT. Thank goodness for ebook loans from our hometown library!

Jamie: Code zero with a continuous line furler on a sprit. Because the sailmaker’s boat is a little bit like the cobblerss kids… often wanting. Here’s why Jamie thinks this is a winner sail for cruisers.

Behan: fancypants freediving fins, and lessons to go with them. (As long as we’re daydreaming, I’d learn from supermama and freediving champion Ashley Chapman at Evolve Freediving, with a whole- family lesson!)

More Totem crew wish-list picks that may generate ideas for giftees on your list:

Water-friendly drone. We’re having so much fun with the ‘regular’ drone, imagine one that lands on the water, or follows behind the dinghy – saltwater spray be damned?! This very cool looking Splash Drone 3 lands on the water and floats. Whoa. Or the QuadH2O: double whoa.

Mini home theater projector. We watched movies outside on the Delos deck once upon a time; I harbor dreams of hosting anchorage movie nights with a film displayed on a sail “screen.” One that’s bright enough, not to big, and doesn’t draw too much power, decent speakers…or 3 out of 4. Like this maybe (and wow, that’s a good price!)?

New computer. OK, not family but Jamie. The Toughbook that is our navigation computer doubles as his personal machine, but doesn’t play well with Windows 10. Newer models do. Still a big fan of Toughbooks for their durability on board.

Camera equipment. Better underwater shots with an Olympus Tough: the GoPro is awesome for environmental shots, but fails on macro, and those are fun to take underwater. Above sea level, I traded in all my Nikon gear to migrate towards Sony’s mirrorless a7 series, and will always be drooling over lenses.

A dozen Luci lights. We have one and it’s fantastic: indulgent wish list version,- how cool would a strand of them be hung tiki-light style around the cockpit?! 

IV. Just for kids

The genesis of this year’s list is a question fom one of our coaching clients. Less than a year from taking off cruising and looking for Christmas gift ideas for their four children, they had this assignment for our kids: “What is 1-2 things do they wished they had or have had on the boat, and what are their favorite 3 things/toys they cannot live without?” Simplifying slightly I asked our kids what things on the boat were most important to them. Turns out phrasing matters. Answer #1: friends. Their friend showed up a few minutes later; asked the same questions she looked at me as if to say “duh” and said – “My family, of course.” It took a lot of prompting to come up with Things You Put Under a Christmas tree. But we got there, and this is good!

Quality snorkeling gear: mask, snorkel, fins…also good rashguard and wetsuits. Shorties are great for extending in-water time! Many cruisers (and most boat kids) spend a lot of time in the water; get good stuff that won’t fall apart, it’s harder after you leave. The kids really like the masks they got from Divers Direct in Florida this year, and they’re very reasonably priced (holiday sale: $40?!).

Beach fun: boogie boards and beach bocce are our favorites.

Fishing kit. Get kids their own tackle box, handline, a net to grab stuff that goes overboard; even a Hawaiian sling spear if they can handle it.

Field guides. Not kid books, but GOOD field guides. Identification of underwater life was a big hit from the time we started cruising with littles. Region-specific matters, I believe: the Gottshall two-book set is amazing for Pacific Mexico; DeLoach guides rule for the Caribbean: one for Reef Fish, one for Coral, one for, well, everything else (Reef Creatures).

Scooters.  Bikes are impractical; kids like wheels and folding scooters fit. Utility varies by cruising grounds (not a lot of roads in some oceanic regions!), but these are great get-around fun.

Arts & crafts. I’m not very crafty, so packaged kits like Klutz are perfect for me. Getting good materials will serve you later: these watercolors are richly pigmented and last a long time. Oragami, beading, or whatever! There are lists for this in Voyaging with Kids.

Chocolate. Yes this was on their list. Clearly these are my children.

Board games, cards. Our current favorite is Dread Pirate (thank you Sallianne and Doug!). Try cooperative games! Family Pastimes games got us started… Pandemic is the classic. This post about games cruisers play lists a number of other favorites on board.

Legos. Our lego days are over, but the kids know these are huge for the younger set.

Totem and Utopia, rafted up for Thanksgiving last week: because 1) better with friends and 2) drones rock!

Want more ideas?

Here are the Christmas gift posts from the last few years. They’re all aimed at cruisers, but each with a slightly different take:

Gifts that give a little more (2016). Focusing on sourcing gifts that contribute in some way to a greater good than just the Thing.

Gifts under $50 for sailors (2015). Keeping the costs contained! OK, there was one item over $50.

Gifts for cruisers (2014). Tried & true: fun, functional gifts that cruisers can use.

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