#maybe i'll share the document later

[ohmytiredheart]

It's uncanny how much the FNAF lore actually makes sense if you look at it through the eyes of TMA

[risingsunresistance]

here, limbo post but im leaving it in python because i dont wanna fix up the odd spacing that is a result of me deciding to put all of this in python

[odinsblog]

“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.

And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.

Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.

Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.

I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.

Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.

He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,

‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.

I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.

Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.

And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.

I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.

Okay, I love you. Bye.’

A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.

His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.

Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.

Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.

On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.

Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.

The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.

And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.

I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.

And then the pattern continues.

Thank you.

Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.

One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.

She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.

On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.

‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.

Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.

But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.

What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’

She was killed later that day.

Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.

And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.

Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.

It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.

Thank you.

The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.

I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.

I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.

It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.

He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.

A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.

The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.

I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.

But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.

A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.

Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”

—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.

[felassan]

Sylvia Feketekuty: "To celebrate DA day, I've made a bluesky account that I'll keep active for a few days to talk about my work on Inqusition or Veilguard! After a few days I'll lock the account, because I'm not a social media person. Happy to talk until then though. I want to say straight off: the reception to Emmrich, Manfred, the Mourn Watch, and the Grand Necropolis has been heartwarming for all of us who worked on those people and places. Thank you all very much!" [source, two]

Rest of post under cut due to length and spoilers. [Post Two, Post Three]

Sylvia Feketekuty: "In the meantime, I do want to talk about a couple of things I saw floating around regarding Emmrich: 1. Emmrich being 52 or 50. I think people got 50 from data mining a character file, but we can't do a ranges in those files. As in, I couldn't input 50-60, it had to be a whole number. I put down 50 as an early ballpark, then went more accurate in later audition scripts. 2. Fifty-two is a old number I threw into an early document before his art or character was totally final. (And which caused another developer a headache because they thought it was accurate, I never updated it. Sorry about that.) 3. "Wait, how old is Emmrich then?" Once I saw his final character art, I felt more mid to late 50s. MAYBE early 60s. But unless we specifically state a character's age in the game, it's all malleable. I honestly would just adjust it to your impressions unless stated otherwise. 4. I've also seen comments on how weird it is for Emmrich to act like there's an age-gap in the romance if your Rook is around his age. And you're right. 5. The reason is because Rook WAS younger when those scenes were written and worked on. I felt it'd be odd if I never addressed the May-December aspect, especially as it hooks into some of Emmrich's worries. 6. By the time that shifted, it was really too late to change without catastrophic repercussions to the excellent cinematics and music and other things that depend on line delivery and timing. 7. To be clear: you can feel how you want about the age gap coming up at all! But that's how the discrepancy came about. 8. "Is there a way to reconcile Emmrich acting like my Rook is way younger than him if they're not?" Great question! I have several suggestions: -Accept it's an error. (True, but unexciting) -Emmrich considers a gap of 3-5 years scandalous. (Funny, albeit a bit cartoonish.) -The Mourn Watch has perfected swapping out organs, and Emmrich is nervously hiding that he's way older than he looks out of vanity. (Untrue, but funny.)" [source thread]

User in reply to point 6. above: "I'm personally glad it was too late to change because their argument about it is genuinely my favorite scene in the entire game! 😭💕 It's such an important moment to me" / Sylvia: "Thanks! That one was one where I was all sweatily trying to balance things out, with tone, with pacing, etc. Really glad it came together for you. (Cine and the actors did heroic things there to get it feeling just so!)" [source]

More snippets:

Emmrich's favorite ice cream flavor? Rum raisin [source]

Lots of people on the dev team shared the vision of having a bunch of gothic weirdness in that pocket of Thedas [source] (Necropolis/Nevarra)

Sylvia "especially liked writing the Mourn Watch origin, it was fun to write a fellow nerd for Emmrich to chat with" [source]

Sylvia poured some personal worries and fears into writing Emmrich [source]

On Vorgoth and their nature: "I'm a little leery of saying anything, partly because I'm cowardly avoiding publicly defining anything more until/if I ever need to. And partly because I did want them to be a fresh unknown. Sorry!" [source] "I'm glad you like Vorgoth, but I'm afraid I don't have much for you that isn't in the game. I deliberately wrote them so as to leave room, if we ever revisited them, or for Vorgoth to remain mysterious, if we did not. I'm sorry if that's not a very satisfying answer!" [source] "I will say, it was fun to throw in a few lines about Vorgoth's art collection. Their passion for it is sincere and deep. (I wanted all the Watchers to have a little non-death related hobby or interest, because they can be so singularly focused.)" [source]

Dwarven Mourn Watcher is a rare origin combo for Rook so Sylvia wanted to call it out [source]

On the outcomes of Emmrich's quest: "I tried really hard to make the options equally viable, and more up to the player's interpretation or preferences of what it would mean for Emmrich in their view. It's been interesting seeing reactions to it, which hinge sometimes on various single lines pushing people one way or another!" [source]

"The Grand Necropolis is always eager and ready for a new member of the Mourn Watch to grace its ranks." [source]

User: "I loved Emmrich's view on death and what his personal quest ultimately went on to say about the nature of death itself, and how the beauty of mortality lies in its impermanence and unpredictability." / Sylvia: "I really wanted to dig into those themes, and everyone in cine and art and level design and editing and the whole team honed in exactly on the vibe. The floral stuff especially, I was so thrilled when I played through the Memorial Gardens' with the art and lighting in." [source]

User: "I experience thanatophobia and that first conversation w/ Emmrich was so affirming and helped me describe my own anxiety to others" / Sylvia: "Thanks, the thanatophobia was, as you may've guessed, a personal experience for me too. I'm glad it was something that helped a little." [source] "I suspect that phobia is way more common than people think, and part of the reason Emmrich talks about it was to express that sentiment out loud. I find it helps sometimes just to acknowledge it." [source]

What languages does Emmrich speak other than Trade? "I think he'd be familiar with Tevene, since there's surely many, many old texts about magic written in that language. Kind of like a doctor that knows latin through their work. I also named that MW alphabet "tomb-script", though I'm not sure if it has a spoken component or not since it never came up in-game. If it does, he'd be able to speak that for sure." [source, two]

User: "Playing as a Mourn Watch Rook has been an absolute delight!!!" / Sylvia: "Thank you so much, I really liked writing those branches of the dialogue. Since Emmrich's so focused on necromancy, it was fun having a Rook who could be both casual and knowledgeable about it." [source]

User: "In your opinion, what outcome do you prefer for a romanced Emmrich (lich/non lich)?" / Sylvia: "Interesting question! To be honest, I'm afraid to answer it properly in case anyone takes my answer to be a canonical one. I really wanted either path to feel equally interesting/correct for whatever you decide fits your Rook's relationship with Emmrich. (We're also in the strange waters of meta-reasoning. I GAVE Emmrich his fear of death-Sorry Emmrich!-which makes me feel a little culpable for that, even though he's entirely fictional. And that might prey on my mind when trying to decide. A very odd experience!)" [source, two]

What music genres would Emmrich be into? "Classical music is very much playing to type for Emmrich, but I feel it's also correct. He'd enjoy a nice concerto or an organ recital. Or, if he's feeling daring, a bold new Orlesian opera! But I don't think his tastes are too outré in that area. That said, I saw someone post something like "Leave Emmrich alone, let him attend the Depeche Mode concert" while listening to Depeche Mode's "Violator", for the first time, which made me laugh. (Great album. If he could get over the shock of synths, Emmrich might enjoy "Waiting for the Night".)" [source, two]

When writing Emmrich the devs wanted to try and hit the gothic romance vibe [source]

Does Emmrich mix his own fragrance/cologne? Does he ever vary it by the season? "I think Emmrich goes to some of the many perfumers that have set up shop in Nevarra City around the Necropolis, just because he trusts their judgement and expertise. I hadn't considered him varying it by season, but that's very fun! I certainly think he has more than one bottle of scent." [source]

User: "How does Lich Emmrich have sex?" / Sylvia: "I don't mind the question! But my answer's a bit boring: I generally stay at arm's length on the more explicit romance stuff, just because if it's not stated or shown in-game, I don't want to bring in a canonical answer that might affect what people imagined. My general preference for romantic scenes that get physical is to leave blank space somewhere, so players can imagine what happens next. It's not the ONLY way to do it, I think there's legitimate artistic reasons to go more explicit. But that's how I approached Emmrich (and before him Josephine.)" [source, two]

User: "The scene with the fade glow where he touches your hand haunts me in the best way" / Sylvia: "Aw thank you. Our animators and audio people made that scene way better than I could've hoped! They took such care with everything there. I want to say that little eye-peep from Rook was added in by one of them, which was the perfect touch." [source]

User on Emmrich: "i’m curious whether you think he’d prefer dogs or cats (or both, or neither)" / Sylvia: "I think he'd consider cats and dogs a little too noisy and messy for his tastes. Not like a nice, quiet plant or skeleton! (Weirdly, I actually had a scrap of banter going over this exact subject at one point. It got tightened down to the exchange with Harding about the pig he used to hug when he was a kid.)" [source, two]

Sylvia was trying to tease Nevarra with the Tevinter Nights story Down Among the Dead Men [source]. "It was really fun to tease the Necropolis, so to speak, in TN, and I'm grateful we got to actually let players through its gates at last." [source]

User: "if Rook chooses to save Manfred and keep Emmrich mortal, what would Emmrich wish to become of his body once he did pass on?" / Sylvia: "Good question. I think he'd want to remain active and useful in death. A guide for other Mourn Watchers, or posted as a mystic guide somewhere dangerous, or perhaps an oracle in the library." [source]

User: "when and how was it decided that Emmrich would be romanceable? I remember reading that he would not be a romance option." / Sylvia: "I'm not sure where that came from, because I pitched him and then shortly after that we decided the entire cast was romanceable. That was fairly early on in the development of Veilguard, as I recall it. (Could've been a crossed wire?)" [source]

Trick Weekes: "Sylvia wrote the fantastic Emmrich "the Vol-carnage" Volkarin and everything that happens in Nevarra while dealing with a lead writer whose attitudes about corpses and undead are... not dissimilar from Taash's." [source] / Sylvia: "I still remember when you gave the very accurate feedback "I think we need to give players whose Rooks aren't into corpses some roleplaying choices to express this" and I was all "Ohhh yeaaaaaah." (Thank u Trick, you were right)" [source] / Trick: "Specifically, being able to express this without locking themselves out of the content! (For non-Sylvia folks) Given my issues with corpses, Emmrich as a whole was SUPER Not For Me, so I gave one caveat and then said, "For the rest of my critique, I will be impersonating his target audience." [source]

Sylvia on the secret origins of Manfred: "After I pitched Emmrich, I started jotting down notes and thoughts on his plots, his quirks, all that kind of stuff. It was very early on Veilguard, anything was still possible. We were chatting in the writer's room about it one day, and I think we'd just seen some early concept art for Emmrich. And our lead writer Trick Weekes joked that Emmrich looked like a man who'd have a skeleton named Manfred. And I laughed and went "Yeah he does!" And then I thought about it. It's wild in retrospect, but that one comment spurred a train of thought that led to the core of Emmrich's arc. He may've ended up a very different character without it! tl;dr: I stole it from Trick." [source, two, three, four]

"I got to play with a pretty free palette when defining the way Emmrich and the necromancers view death and spirits. But I tried to keep it within the confines of existing lore. That's one reason why that scene where Emmrich talks about Manfred to Harding goes into "the eternal question" of whether a soul actually returns with the dead or not. Nevarra has distinct beliefs, but I thought it'd be interesting if its people argue over their interpretations of those beliefs." [source, two]

"the other writers also suggested a bit later on that the big choice dig more into Emmrich's philosophies. Initially, it was more personally focused on his fears, which made it 'relatable' but pettier. Without that correction, I think it would've been weaker, I totally needed the team push." [source]

"I have a few guides to graveyard symbology, and it's so packed with references and meaning." [source]

User: "Did any of your own fears & experiences, make it into the writing of Emmrich? If yes, is it information you’re comfortable sharing with us? If it’s too personal to give any details, that’s fine as well. Also, across the other games, who do you think Emmrich will get along with best?" / Sylvia: "some of his fears are absolutely personal. The reflexive-compulsive panic over death is something I'm very familiar with, and I wanted to explore that through him. Because I suspected it was not uncommon, and worth examining. The question of who he'd get along with from the other games is surprisingly tough! Because without asking the other writers about their characters, I wouldn't know for sure. So I can only really speak to Josephine with surety. That said: -I think Josephine would be polite, and grow to like him, but would never entirely be over the ostentatious necromancy. -I think Emmrich meeting Sera would be the funniest match." [source, two, three]

"Peter Cushing was also one of my go-tos as an example of what I wanted Emmrich to be." [source]

"(Huge shout out to all the animators and level designers making Manfred run, quite literally. Like 95% of his personality lives in his movement, I think they nailed it.)" [source]

On Emmrich: "I tried to put a lot of passion and sincerity in his love for the dead, and I admit the Necropolis was THE big place I wanted to see in Thedas myself ever since reading about it in a codex." [source]

User: "Thank you for letting him have that cemetery dream date!" / Sylvia: "Having the date in the cemetery was one of the first things I wanted when thinking about the romance." [source]

"Josephine was the first time I was entrusted with a new character and a new romance at once, and that'll always be special to me." [source]

User: "How much input did you have in Emmrich's appearance in the podcast?" / Sylvia: "In the podcast, none myself. I believe it was handled by a third party but reviewed by a few people at BW, I don't know too much past that. (We did provide a descriptor and character rules. Stuff like "Emmrich never swears" and "always says amongst" and broader, more thematically useful things.)" [source]

User on Emmrich: "Are you planning any other external-media stories for him?" / Sylvia: "Thanks very much, The Flame Eternal has a special place in my heart for being the first time Emmrich got to be center stage in a story. (And very flattering to hear about the cross stitch. That's so cool!) I can't speak to any external-media plans, I'm afraid. That's not an implied hint about anything existing or not, it's just literally outside what I'm allowed to chat about. It'd be fun to do something like that again though!" [source, two]

"I must give full credit to Nick Borraine, Emmrich's voice actor. He got the compassion and tenderness the character needed right away." [source]

"And glad him being closer to your age resonated, I really wanted someone older out on an adventure. No reason that has to stop at any age IMO." [source]

User: "do the mourn watcher/nevarra in general raise their pets after they die to keep them around? like a dog skeleton with a whisp in it?" / Sylvia: "To be honest I hadn't thought out this one, but it's a very good question. I'm not sure how common that would be, or even if it's permitted to have pets running around the family crypt. (I definitely thing people would WANT to do it.) You know, I think I'm going to have to leave this one in the vague quantum foam of the future. I think I'd want to not only double check existing lore, but answer that in-game (or in a book or etc.) if we ever need to. (Hope that's not too much of a cop out. Sometimes I like to leave questions I'm not sure about alone, because until it's in an official game or story, it doesn't quite count.)" [source, two, three]

User: "as someone who shares emmrich's anxiety about mortality, getting to spend time with him, and in the grand necropolis and with the mourn watch, was genuinely soothing" / Sylvia: "Thank you, I'm glad he was a comfort. It's a familiar fear for me too, and I'd hoped he would connect that way with people very much." [source]

On the giant ribcage 'ceiling' in the Necropolis: "sadly, even I don't know all the mysteries of the Necropolis. (Which is to say it's a very cool bit of art but has no stated origin yet. Could be a large dragon, a giant...or something weirder!)" [source]

On TN story Luck in the Gardens: "It was nice change up, writing in first person and with someone so rascally. I've got an enduring affection for the Lords after writing Hollix, the scamp." [source]

User: "I just love his genuine enthusiasm for everything he does. If the other party members had fan clubs Emmrich would be the president of each and I love that for him" / Sylvia: "Thank you! I really wanted him to embody a kind of expansiveness and generosity of spirit, to stand in contrast to the eeriness of his abilities." [source]

User: "What was your inspiration for Josie?" / Sylvia: "My girl! When I came on to Inquisition, there'd already been work done on setting up the spine of the main plot, and figuring out the overall cast. But one of the advisors was a little murkier. It just said "Diplomat" on the white board. We knew we wanted someone in that position, but not who. So in a game where you were out exploring, killing demons, etc., but also had a big organization to run? I immediately wanted to make a Diplomat firmly there for you. Somebody you could hand the keys to the entire Inquisition to while you were out, and know it'd be in good hands. I also thought it'd be fun to have someone from Antiva, since that area wasn't covered yet by anyone in the cast. And I needed her to be polished, smooth, but heartfelt, because of that aforementioned trust. And that was the core of Josephine! Her voice actor, Allegra, brought her to life with such lovely charm, and hearing those early sessions also helped me further hone her tone." [source, two, three, four]

"Our music supervisor Ron Dazo hit it out of the park with Emmrich's music IMO. And so glad you liked Hezenkoss! Just very fun to write as a character." [source]

User: "Did any specific watcher raise MW Rook?" / Sylvia: "Good question! I kind of left that one alone because I wasn't sure if I wanted to let Rook define that themselves, or leave it open, and also I'd have wanted a full conversation on it. In the end that was a little out of scope so I left it unsaid. Which is to say that it COULD be Vorgoth who helped raise your Rook. And that stands until/unless we give a definitive answer (or let you choose from a range of answers) one day." [source, two]

"It was such a pleasure for all of us to finally get to explore the Necropolis, I am very glad we got to throw open the gates." [source]

User: "I was wondering if there were any Mourn Watch details you wished you had more time to explore? I was so struck by some of the ethical implications in your stories" / Sylvia: "Geeze, now that's a question. I mention it with Emmrich, but there's some resentment over the power the Watchers hold as THE mortalitasi of the Grand Necropolis, between them and the other orders. There's something to that situation I liked. There's also questions of how they select people for the order. What their standards are, how closely they work with benign spirits. And how they cultivate those relationships. How deep does that go? I also mentioned in a codex "the lives and bodies of those who tamper with the undead of the Necropolis are forfeit unto the Mourn Watch." which is pretty chilling. What's that punishment like, exactly? And in general, writing about anything weird or unexplained in the Necropolis brought me much enjoyment, and it would be fun to dig around how the Mourn Watch deals with (or what they want out of) all these mysteries and entities." [source, two, three, four]

"Geeking out with Emmrich about spooky stuff was a delight to write." [source]

"I liked writing someone older this time, it was something different for me and rewarding in some unexpectedly different ways. (And thanks especially for the nice words on DAtDM - I was very excited to introduce people to the Mourn Watch there!)" [source]

"Ah, tomb-script. I named it but it was our concept artists who went developed it with the hexagon shape-language of the Mourn Watch, which I loved. Conceptually: I think it's used purely an occult or sacred language. Something for the graves, or books on magic, but not everyday things." [source]

"Some trans people kindly offered their help with some feedback on some of the romance lines and others, which absolutely made them much better." [source]

"Trick Weekes actually wrote a ton of the banter where Emmrich inquires into qunari artifacts and customs, and Taash talks about what it was like to grow up under a scholar. I really dig the dynamic they unearthed between the two there." [source]

User: "Do you remember what was written in the script to describe ✨this✨ moment? [link]" // Sylvia: "Lol. I miiiiiight? Let me look at my notes. Ah hah, I do! My note says that Emmrich "takes a second, surprised." And then he's touched afterwards." [source, two]

Sylvia: ""i hope it's not too late, but were there any designs in mind for what Nevarra City looks like?" Not too late! We've got a few sketches in the World of Thedas books, but that's it. If the team ever went back to Nevarra City proper, I'd imagine the art team would want to do a deeper dive." [source]

Sylvia: "(Glad you liked Myrna in particular. My first Mourn Watcher everyone got to know!)" [source]

Sylvia: "I'm glad to hear getting to know Emmrich has been of some comfort." [source]

[kumkaniudaku]

Midterm

Summary: When Asia's in need of a few lessons regarding matters of the bedroom, her colleague and friend, Kelvin, offers his expertise.

Pairing: Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Black!OC

Warnings: Mature Content (18+)

Word Count: 6k

MASTERLIST

Reading a congratulatory email with kind words and instructions to sign a lucrative offer was easy. Simply slip out of your third boring morning meeting, disappear into the surprisingly vacant courtyard, and spend no less than 30 minutes oscillating between excitement and sheer panic while clicking through pages of contracts to add your digital signature to an encrypted document. Kelvin followed the plan to the letter and then some. 

The hard part was stifling the urge to scream at the birds and trees during peak business hours. 

Voice low and eyes shifting in search of potential eavesdroppers, he sat in pensive silence to contemplate the gravity of his decision. In a little over a month, he'd be a Chicago resident. He'd wake up in his Chicago apartment, walk the Chicago streets, pass by Chicagoans on the way to his Chicago office, and then grab dinner ingredients at a Chicago grocery store. His license would change. Mail would need a new forwarding address. Updated voter registration, new doctors, a change in insurance, learning a transit system; change after change both excited and unnerved Kelvin all at once.

Part of him wanted to barge into his Head of Creative's office and slam his resignation on the table before clicking his heels together on the way out the door. Fuck this job. New and greener pastures were on the horizon! The other part, the terrified part of him that'd been worried sick since Saturday morning, couldn't even say the words out loud for fear that the wooden benches would absorb and tell his secret before he'd had time to craft poetic, well-thought-out lines. 

In his mind, Kelvin thought he'd managed to maintain an impenetrable poker face. To a stranger or work acquaintance unschooled in Kelvin-ology, he could come across as convincing enough to overlook. For Asia, watching him from the communal kitchen, worry causing his knee to bounce in triple time told a different story. 

"You know you can just go out there and talk to him, right?" Savannah's sarcastic introduction to an otherwise quiet moment cut through Asia's brain fog enough to garner attention as she shifted her weight from one side to the other. "I'm joking," Savannah laughed, trying to ease the tension between them. Asia's quick glance at the back of Kelvin's head provided the final number of a winning lottery sequence. "Wow, you really like him. Like, you two are a couple! I knew it." 

Asia tried to remain casual as she crossed her arms and shrugged. "What are you talking about? Kel is my work friend." 

"Must be a hell of a work friend for you to spend the night from his place. I noticed the cabinets, but I couldn't confirm until later that day when Kelvin took a meeting from the same place." 

Savannah's cheeky grin sparked fear in Asia's heart. Widening her eyes, she craned her neck to see who may have heard her business in the area.

She leaned closer, keeping her voice low as she spoke. "You can't say that out loud," she cautioned. "We're being discreet!" 

"Love you so much, Asia, but literally everyone knows."

"Everyone like who?" 

"Asia," Savannah reiterated. "Every. One. The main crew has a group chat and everything. You just won me $20 bee-tee-dubbs. I'll share, promise."

Panic should've set in for Asia. Maybe dread and a tinge of fear. They'd broken another rule and crossed another carefully considered boundary in the pursuit of each other. Asia should've been nervous about how their not-so-secret pining had run through the office rumor mill and what it might mean for perceptions of her professionalism as one of the few Black women in the building. But relief was the only emotion worth exploring in the immediate aftermath of Savannah's revelation. 

No more hiding. No more planning entrances five minutes apart or driving separate vehicles in busy morning traffic when one would suffice. They could share dinner leftovers during lunch and stop sneaking quiet giggles at jokes shared via text. No more hiding. 

Relief helped Asia slowly release the extra air tightening her lungs and expanding her chest. She nodded at nothing in particular. "I expect my cut in all ones. It's for our strip club fund." 

"Oooh, spicy," Savannah sang, stepping closer to speak in a hushed whisper. "So… how's it going with you two? How different is personal time Kelvin from work Kelvin?" 

"Uh, I mean, you know. He's…you know." 

Any sense of calm that offered a reprieve from an onslaught of complicated feelings was quickly replaced by the need to run out of the room and vomit. Knowing was one thing. Asking questions and wanting the scoop on something Asia deemed sacred and untouchable in conversation beyond what she chose to share was different. 

Words sputtered from her lips as she tried to offer an explanation vague enough to get Savannah off her ass. The quiet roar of glass panes sliding on a metal track clipped Asia's start-and-stop sentence, turning all attention to Kelvin as he stepped in, looking like he'd just had his heart ripped in two and was trying but failing to keep his emotions intact. Savannah didn't seem to notice when she flagged him over. Asia couldn't take her eyes off his frown and sullen expression. Kelvin knew his face had betrayed him as soon as he was close enough for a thorough look at the questions knitting Asia's brows together. 

Trying to play it cool, he swiftly pulled his hand out of his pocket and offered a wave to both ladies. "What's up?" A greeting he'd used a million times suddenly sounded bizarre. First mistake. 

"Hiii!" Savannah's severe lack of subtly pulled a reluctant laugh from Kelvin before he shifted his gaze to focus on Asia. 

"Asia. You good?" 

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. What about you? You good?" 

"I'm good now, yeah." 

Anxieties feasting on his mind momentarily paused in reverence for Asia's presence. A true breath of fresh air. One he'd fight tooth and nail to keep in his life, distance be damned. 

Savannah stood between the pair and their smitten grins, looking back and forth to see who'd make the first move. "This is just the cutest shit ever. I can't take it." Googly eyes slowly turned into blank stares aimed in her direction. Hint taken. "No, you're so right. I should get out of here. Asia, remember to put the thing on the slide at some point. In the one deck."

"Bye, Savannah!" Kelvin and Asia watched Savannah awkwardly scurry off to do only God knows what until they were safely alone. 

Without a buffer to fill in the gaps, all the nausea-inducing worry from the morning's events came flooding back for Kelvin in another crushing wave. Had he been thinking straight, he would've opted to save such delicate news for the privacy of his living room when all the thoughts sitting jumbled like Soul Train board letters were sorted into the proper place. Unfortunately, life-changing information sure to shake the still-wet foundation on which they'd built their relationship ran off with his rationale long ago. 

Kelvin opened his mouth to speak, then closed it when words didn't come out. He tried again. Then, one more time before finally forcing, "I have…something to tell you," into the atmosphere. 

Asia tilted her head in curiosity. "So do I. Is yours good news or bad news?" 

"Doesn't matter," he answered, trying to smile through the rapid thudding in his ears. "You go first." 

Don't press, Asia. Resist! An inner monologue determined to usher Asia away from the sins of her past forced back 101 questions to make way for her surprise. "You know how the Moët client is looking for new artists for that summer series activation?" Kelvin nodded, vaguely remembering project details he'd contributed to in a past life. Asia reached into her back pocket to showcase two laminated passes on lanyards. "I convinced Chris and Sid to give me their passes so we could pull up. Now, we don't have to go all the way to Australia to see RINI. Fun, right?" 

Kelvin recognized the big reveal as something he should be excited about. And, had present circumstances not reared its ugly head, he'd have no trouble sharing Asia's toothy grin and silly dance. He tried to fight the heavy haze clouding his day by raising his hand for a high five and flashing a vacant smile. "That's great, baby. I'm excited. Really." 

So much for honesty.

Asia couldn't hide her skepticism, pushing her eyebrows high, and Kelvin couldn't hide his discomfort, which made him fidget with the contents of his front pockets.  

"Yeah," Asia answered, disappointment in his half-assed reaction instantly stealing the light in her eyes and turning her bright smile into a shell of itself. "Um, what was your news? Anything good?" 

Tact was never Kelvin's strong point. Breakups over text and ghosting were more his speed, no matter how much he hated that fact about himself. What everyone else saw as sleazeball behavior reserved for fuckboys deserving of eternal banishment to hell, he saw as protecting feelings. 

Promises were promises, and Asia was worth more than slipping back into bad habits. Kelvin had to rip the band-aid and deal with the residual blood later. "Remember the Chicago job?" he asked, wringing his hands.

Oh no. Intuition and a random tarot reader told Asia to be on the lookout for roadblocks, but, dammit, she thought that meant traffic on the interstate or an annoying client ask, not the nagging tug of the Midwest. 

"Yeah," she answered cautiously. 

Kelvin adjusted the hydrant-red beanie on his head and sighed. Rip. The. Band-Aid. "They…called me back with all my negotiation demands met. And…”

"You took the job." 

Patience was never Asia's virtue. Why beat around the bush when they could lay all the bad shit on the table and try to salvage a few pieces good enough to keep for fond memories later? 

"Yeah." The finished sentence turned an abstract concept into reality, weighing so heavily on him that he found looking Asia in the eye and lifting his head too difficult. He repeated after her in a low, measured voice, "I took the job." 

Suddenly, Asia couldn't help but hyper-fixate on her surroundings. The low hum of two French door refrigerators holding employee lunches was annoying. It always had been, but today, it sounded like an army of flies buzzing around the mess Kelvin's news had created. Distant laughter made her nostrils flare. How dare someone find joy in a time like this? The kitchen was too big and too open to contain the grief rising within her. Then, the stupid ping of notifications on Kelvin's phone threatened to blow her gasket. The stimuli converged simultaneously, bringing fresh tears to prickle at her waterline. 

Asia forced them all back while Kelvin waited for her to say something to prove she didn't hate him. She extended a closed fist in his direction to match a closed-mouth smile. "Congratulations, Kel. I'm so proud of you. If we were somewhere else, I'd hug you." 

"Hug me to sneak in for a choke or a real hug?" 

"A real one," Asia chuckled, the sound of it returning to her stilted and lacking the mirth she intended. "I know you're bored here. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?" 

Past all the hurt feelings and rage bubbling in her chest, Asia couldn't allow herself to stomp out Kelvin's fire with negativity. She'd save that for a tearful phone call with Sabrina or a good cry in the shower. Kelvin needed reassurance that he'd made the right decision, not the moaning and wailing she had planned for a moment alone. 

"Yeah…" Kelvin paused to scan Asia's face for any sign of an impending adverse reaction but found none before he answered. Nothing. Not a shred of any identifiable emotion presented itself to Kelvin. Anxiety gripped him again. "Asia, don't shut me out. I know you have questions and fuckin' feelings. C'mon. Don't leave me out here by myself." 

"Not here." An almost undetectable waver in her voice was enough to shatter Kelvin's heart into a million pieces. He watched her blink back tears to speak again. "Can we just be happy, please? For a little longer?" 

He sighed, accepting defeat. "Okay." A mental reminder to add 'needs a moment before tough conversations' to his running list of things to know about Asia ran through his brain like neon letters on a marquee. 

His index and middle fingers brushed across his puckered lips, collecting affection he quickly passed on to Asia. She kissed the spot his lips once occupied as a silent promise to revisit the subject when heightened emotions had time to return to baseline. 

"You hungry? My treat." 

An olive branch. Collective ease passed between them once Kelvin flashed a toothy grin at Asia and gestured ahead of him toward the courtyard doors. "After you."

What Kelvin couldn't have in her raw, unfiltered thoughts, he was more than happy to gain in a spare moment of mindless chatter over sushi a block away. 

Something was better than nothing. 

If left up to Asia, Chicago and all its complications would disappear because of her commitment to ignoring them.

City sounds and radio chatter on Saturday evening had spent more time filling silent gaps of conversation than Kelvin and Asia had for two straight days. The elephant in the room quickly became the elephant at the dinner table late Thursday night when Asia side-stepped the topic to discuss Married at First Sight instead, the elephant in the bedroom when the thought of Chicago kept her mind wandering too much to enjoy Kelvin feasting between her legs, and the elephant in the backseat while she pretended not to notice her boyfriend stealing glances at the red light.

Given the chance, Asia could avoid broaching the topic for weeks. Kelvin, on the other hand, couldn't ignore issues festering into resentment day by day. Before long, he'd carefully label boxes and precious belongings to ship to their new home. Being on the brink of drastic change without a resolution wasn't an option.

Standstill traffic and a small car accident separating them from their destination provided the perfect opportunity to catch Asia in close quarters and force the issue. Kelvin took a deep breath and slowly turned the volume down on one of Tyler the Creators' piano-heavy tracks, earning a confused side-eye for his behavior. 

"Everything okay," Asia asked, shifting her body towards Kelvin so he could feel the full weight of her annoyance. 

He shrugged. "You tell me, Asia. I'm not the one tiptoeing around some really important shit right now. Is everything okay?" 

"Kelvin, not right now. We can talk about it when we get back tonight." 

Arms crossed at her chest, and a deep frown sent Asia retreating into herself, frustrating Kelvin to the point of no return. When he imagined the first roadblock in their relationship, hogging the covers or choosing the thermostat's temperature came to mind. He expected little hurdles to make room for the big stuff. The relationship-altering, make-or-break whammies either strengthened a couple or sent them careening toward total implosion. This behemoth was a tsunami of complications he didn't expect but wouldn't allow to throw him off course. 

"You said that last night and the night before. I'm tired of 'tonights!' It's happening, Asia! We can't get around the shit. So, talk to me right now!" Kelvin's body vibrated in time with his hands gripping and releasing the steering wheel until he practiced in and out deep, soothing breaths brought him back off the ledge. Asia watched his shoulders slowly slump away from his ears before he reached over to rest a warm palm on her inner thigh to stroke his thumb against smooth denim, his eyes apologetic as he looked over at her. "I didn't ask you to be with me for no reason. Can we talk about what all this means for us?" 

Asia rested her hand atop his to twist the ring on his finger while she tried to gather words and explanations she'd practiced for days on end. "I don't know." 

In all her soul-searching and reckoning with the inevitable, she realized that she had no idea what the next steps were. 

She always had the answers, the plan, and the foresight to know how to proceed in any situation. This one, though – this flurry of warm feelings filled with complicated explanations and head-spinning romance – she couldn't figure out. Not even when she turned to practical skills and timeline plotting to make it all make sense. 

I don't know. Kelvin wasn't sure what he expected when he decided to corner Asia for an answer, but that wasn't it. Not knowing was worse than not caring. He could deal with the finality of no longer giving a fuck. However, the uncertainty in what he thought was a reasonably black-or-white scenario was unnerving. Kelvin let the gut punch settle until Asia spoke again to soothe the pain she'd inflicted.

"How…how would it work," She questioned in a small voice, her eyes low to avoid cracking the nerve she'd built. "Tell me you have a plan. Because, if you don't, I –" 

Kelvin rushed to reassure her. "I have a plan. Trust me." For once in his life, Kelvin was moving intentionally. No stone left unturned; no possibility left up to chance. "I leave in six weeks. Give me two to get my shit together, and you're on the first flight into O'Hare." 

"And after that?" 

"We'll talk every morning and every night. Then I'm on my way to you every other week, baby. And every other month, I'll make sure you get to me. Nonstop flight. The price doesn't matter. All you need is a packed suitcase. Or not. You can be naked the whole time. That's fine by me." 

Two nonstop flights a month, airport pickups and drop-offs every other week, Fridays in, Monday mornings out, constant connection over the phone when the physical was out of the question—simple enough. There was no fluff, only a concerted effort to make a less-than-ideal situation work. The happiness didn't have to die if they didn't let it. 

Still, Asia wrestled with separating idyllic assumptions from reality. What happened when schedules presented challenges? Or when the weather interrupted? Did distance make the heart grow fonder or help intertwined lives push away the realities of life together hundreds of miles apart. 

Kelvin could see the wheel turning for Asia while she mulled over his proposal from every angle. "Give me a little more time, okay?" Deflating. The air in Kelvin's sails came through his nose in a disappointed huff just as traffic began to pick up enough for steady motion. She held his hand in place, hoping he could feel the intention behind her hesitancy. "I'm not closing the door on us. I need to make sure we're prepared. That's all." 

The absence of an enthusiastic yes wasn't a no – another tidbit to add to Kelvin's growing Asia file. He'd have to find comfort in the details to keep her in his life. And damn, did he want to keep her in his life. His plan had more legs, including a permanent address change for Asia. 

"That's okay. Take your time," he answered as he laced their fingers together and brought the back of her hand to his lips. "Just don't leave me hanging like that again." 

"I won't. I'm sorry."

Relationships came with a learning curve Asia had to experience to understand. No one in her life had prepared her for conflict resolution. Being an only child taught her how to play by herself and keep her secrets close to her chest. There was nothing in the manual about coexisting with another human she cared for more and more each day. She didn't know how to share items or feelings. But Kelvin made her want to try. That had to count for something. 

Once tense quiet returned to the comfortable, wordless quality time Kelvin and Asia had come to enjoy, it followed them for miles to the venue until the need to mix and mingle took center stage. 

In a room full of strangers intermixed with a few familiar faces, they moved around like a couple for the first time. Introductions as a tandem flowed naturally. Seeing them move from group to group hand in hand amused but didn't surprise team members who'd long had their suspicions confirmed by Savannah. 'Alvin' as one member of the group named them. Not their preferred choice, but good enough for the moment. 

As alcohol flowed and inhibitions were disarmed, smooth crooning and soul-stirring baselines from the artist of the hour pushed tomorrow's problems further down the road. 

Kelvin kept a hand on Asia's hip while she allowed her body to sway along with RINI's soulful cover of Leon Bridges' "That's What I Love." Hearing his voice beyond the warbling of his JBL speaker from Asia blasting music far too loudly reminded Kelvin of the first time she shared her new favorite artist with him. She made him listen to Ultraviolet twice all the way through, forcing him to commit more lyrics to memory than he ever did for any other artist. Truthfully, the music didn't hit the same when she wasn't in the room. He tried listening on his own, but it was missing something or someone to add the depth he needed to make the album spin worth his time. 

Applause filled the room just after the final strum of RINI's guitar reverberated. Asia beamed from a spot toward the back. Asia claimed she was fine where she was, but Kelvin knew she was too scared to get close and act like a crazed fan. His lips found her temple for a quick kiss as RINI prepared to end his showcase. 

"I gotta find a way to get out to the States more. This is great," he laughed, causing the audience to join him. "My time is ending, but I can't go without singing the song that put me on your radar. Big thanks to Moët for letting me spend some time with you tonight. I'm excited to get to work this summer. Until then, this is Meet Me in Amsterdam. I hope you enjoy."

Asia couldn't contain her squeal, earning a low laugh from Kelvin once the open notes of her favorite song began. 

I would sail across the world

Row this boat from dusk till dawn

Kelvin and Asia had heard the song plenty of times together, so much so that Kelvin was tired of its slow drone and accompanying music video. Both RINI and Meet Me in Amsterdam were on his list of things he could live without and still die a happy man. 

Until the lyrics started to circle too close to home. A plea for the songwriter's love to make the leap and meet him in a foreign land felt like a page ripped directly from Kelvin's journal. Had he possessed the talent, he would've sung into Asia's ear while she leaned against him, caught in the rapture of beautiful lyrics. 

She didn't need Kelvin's additional vocal performance to know her partner had fallen victim to the magic. She was right there with him, letting the music speak where neither her heart nor mind could reach. 

Won't you come closer; let it take over

I don't need anything; I just want you

"I just want you." The words came out before Asia could stop them. She was never one to fall into the melodrama of romance, but maybe she'd never had an adequate opportunity. Maybe all she needed was a few glasses of white wine and a man looking back at her like universes formed in her eyes to give in to what she'd always considered unrealistic and a little corny. 

Kelvin wrapped an arm around her waist before dipping his head to meet her parted lips as she craned her neck to get a better look at his face. "You got me." 

Turning in his arms, she faced him head-on. "I want to try. For you. Let's make it work." 

"Every other week. I swear."

"I know. I believe you." 

Rolling waves filled with blinding passion set their bodies aflame, connecting them for a kiss too searing to start and end in a room full of people. Some things were best experienced behind doors clumsily kicked closed after Kelvin and Asia burst through the door of his apartment connected at the mouth. 

Small items clattered on the ground as they bumped into the wall, sending anything not bolted to Kelvin's entryway table scattering in the darkness. The moonlight streaming through his balcony door was the only light to illuminate their path. They couldn't care less. Kissing and fondling were their only priorities on the way to shedding extraneous clothing. 

The bedroom was too far, and the couch didn't provide enough leverage for what Kelvin wanted to do for Asia. The counter was too high off the ground, unfortunately. The table, though, was perfect. 

Kelvin thanked God for weightlifting as he hoisted Asia up into his arms, tongues still dancing as he walked them across the room. Asia used her forearm to swipe decorative mats and rattan charger plates to the floor so her backside could fill the empty space. 

Soft panting and the light smack of lips coming together and separating rhythmically filled charged cold air. Asia flinched when Kelvin slipped his hand beneath her t-shirt to reach her bra's front clasp. 

"Take this off. Hurry up," Kelvin demanded as he stepped back to pull his crewneck over his head.  He didn't have time for frilly language and sweet kisses. Maybe later, when they'd calmed down from their high. This first fuck was for all the sessions they'd missed between quiet nights in and words left unsaid. A little something to take the edge off. 

Zippers sliding down, garments rustling, and leather sliding out of thin loops made Kelvin's apartment sound like a department store dressing room until they were reconnected in mind and body.

Half-dressed with goosebumps pebbling an expanse of rich brown skin, lovers let their hands roam freely while they grinded against each other. 

Asia moaned at the feel of teeth gently tugging her bottom lip before pulling away to breathe. "C'mon, Kel. Right now," she rushed on in one breath. "I need it." 

"What about the condom? It'll only take a second." Kelvin asked, half-hoping but not expecting Asia to abandon her primary stipulation. 

"Fuck a condom. C'mon." 

The go-ahead to proceed with caution thrown to the wind put them on a path to the sort of carnal and fleshly satisfaction Kelvin's father warned him about before he left home at 18. 

Sorry, dad. This shit feels way too good to miss out on, Kelvin thought to himself as he slid into Asia's warmth inch by inch. He was weightless for a moment, floating in otherworldly bliss while he fit himself inside her body. "Fuck," he whispered. 

"Oh…yes. Yesyesyes." Asia's toes curled, gripping at nothing in a desperate attempt to remain tethered to the atmosphere. "Wait a second. Don't move." Crossing her ankles at the small of his back, Asia pulled Kelvin in a little deeper, smiling at the small groan he muffled against her skin. She just needed to feel him. In six weeks, they'd have to plan moments of intimacy and simulate sex through a screen, waiting for the day they could be together in the flesh. Tonight, with his body filling every dip and ridge like the final piece to a puzzle, they could kick the can down the road for a few more days. "Okay. I'm ready." 

Agonizingly slow thrusts helped them get acquainted with one another in a new way. Kelvin lifted his head from the crook of Asia's neck, yearning to look her in the eyes for an added layer of closeness. He pecked her nose, lips, chin, cheeks, and lips again, trying to keep those three words at bay. 

"Faster, baby." A firm request teetering on begging broke through Kelvin's haze while Asia tried to pull him into her body by his shoulders. 

He smirked. "Oh, you can talk now?" His taunting made Asia squirm against him for extra friction before he stopped and held her in place. "You up for another lesson?" 

"Mhmm," she forced out, hoping her compliance would get her closer to the real fun. 

"You been quiet all week. Imma need to hear you tonight if you wanna cum."

A horny, exasperated sigh preceded a short whimper. "What? I don't know how t –"

"Yeah, you do," Kelvin encouraged. Tell me what you want, and then I'll give you what you need." 

Near painful throbbing has Asia ready to agree to anything if it meant she could finally come off some of the pressure from a stressful week. Quick agreeance earned her a return to Kelvin's slow back and forth, a shiver hitting both their spines as he took a shallow dive inside.

Asia took a deep breath and tested her voice. "You - you feel so good?" She closed her eyes, hoping Kelvin would take pity on her feeble attempt only to be rewarded with nothing. She tried again. "Right there, baby." 

"We'll be here all night. Relax. Be confident." 

Relax. Be confident. The gentle reminder and suckling at her neck helped Asia partially release the valve on her nervousness. Kelvin rocked into her expert precision and care, waiting to hear more. 

A choppy moan caught in her throat before she could speak again. "You fuck me so good. You really thought I was gonna let you get that far away from me?" 

Kelvin groaned and sped up enough for Asia to notice. She smiled, palming the back of his head to keep him close. 

"There it is," he whispered. "Keep goin', beautiful. Tell me some more." 

Bingo. Electricity sparking between them opened up a whole new world of vocal possibility. "I want all you got tonight, baby. Can you do that for me? Fuck me until I can't take anymore?" 

"Uh-huh. I got you." 

Asia rubbed circles at the nape of his neck, feeling a jolt in her body from another change in pace. "Mmm. Deeper, baby. You can do better than that, right? For me?" Her provocation ignited a burning desire for Kelvin to perform. He needed the glory. Asia dropped her talking display long enough to moan through her man putting his entire being into testing the limits of his little circular wooden table. 

If sweet talk couldn't get him to knock the rings out of her, goading him with a challenge undoubtedly did the trick. Scratching against his back, demanding more depth, more speed, and more kissing spurred Kelvin into fast, furious fucking. 

In no time, they were close. Deliciously, dangerously close. No protection meant no staying for the final hoorah. He had to time his exit perfectly for the right mix of precision and mutual satisfaction. Though Kelvin seemed to care, Asia was just hitting her stride. 

"I think about you all day, waiting for you to fuck me just like this. I want you so bad sometimes." Asia confessed while Kelvin fucked her on his toes. "Even at work, when we’re not supposed to. That’s when I need you the most.” Grabbing the sides of his face with both hands, Asia forced him to look her in the eye. "Be good for me, baby. Make me cum."

Instructions? A command? A simple slip of the tongue? Kelvin couldn't bring himself to waste brain power distinguishing. He needed to focus. Focus on Asia's nipples rubbing against his chest and how her breaths and his started to become one. Then, the light sheen of sweat helping their bodies slide against one another. He focused on the sticky coating of arousal inviting him to rub his thumbpad against her clit.

Asia squealed, then licked Kelvin's open mouth. He rasped out a command of his own. "Come on! Come on!" Resolve began to wane. Any longer, and they'd be in the nearest drug store taking the walk of shame toward the Plan B pills.

If the walls ever decided to talk, they'd blush when recounting the vision of Asia forcing Kelvin's mouth against one of her breasts, trying to balance the sting from his hand colliding with her thigh with his warm tongue tracing braille on her areola. 

Her body seized, making it almost impossible for him to pull out. Every other week on a stuffy flying bus sounded like hell, but if he had this to look forward to after the wheels touched the tarmac, he could drum up some enthusiasm in no time. 

At the last moment, Kelvin forced himself out of his favorite place on earth just in time for the fruits of a mind-bending orgasm to spill from his head onto Asia's inner thigh. Together, they watched fresh semen coat supple skin, their chests heaving and ears ringing. Kelvin couldn't speak. He could only watch as Asia gathered a small amount on her fingertip and swiped it against her tongue. 

Kelvin moaned when Asia moaned to relish the sensory experience of his taste. "Did I pass?" Her question fell on deaf ears, with Kelvin more focused on gathering more semen on his fingers to pop into her mouth. She treated him to a show, sucking the digits clean. She spoke again. "Answer me, baby. Did I pass?" 

"With flying colors," Kelvin finally answered. Asia smiled into a searing kiss, reveling in her accomplishment. A new skill had been unlocked, and one more accolade had been added to her mental trophy case. 

Another lesson to take her mind off of the inevitable. At least until the morning rolled around to wash the fresh coat of paint she'd forced over a very real, immovable problem. 

RINI blasting from phone speakers dampened behind the bathroom door reminded Asia of the night before and how she'd allowed the heat of the moment to lock her into a contract she'd neglected to read the fine print on. 

Facing the bedroom window, Asia snuggled deeper into warm sheets and scanned the pros and cons list on her phone. Pro #1: She could eat deep-dish pizza every other month. Con #1: Her man wouldn't be nearby multiple days a week. Which was more important. She couldn't decide. Food or the comforts of stable, local partnership? 

She had started typing a new con when Kelvin emerged from the bathroom naked and moisturized from head to toe. "You awake now?" 

Fuck. Asia thought she had more time to plaster on her happy face. She used a pretend yawn as her buffer. "Yeah," she answered, faking the funk. "Good morning, baby." 

"Morning." Unbrushed teeth could never stop Kelvin from getting his first kiss of the day. He nuzzled his nose against hers before speaking. "Sleep okay?" 

"Mhm. You?" 

He nodded and slipped into bed beside her. "For the most part. I gotta show you something, though." Kelvin reached back to retrieve his phone from the nightstand's charging station. A few taps against the screen presented a short list of apartment options for Asia's inspection. "I started looking at some spots in the middle of the night. This one has a crazy second room for an office. Look at that view." 

A wall of windows overlooking the downtown cityscape made Asia's stomach churn. Reality smacked her in the face. He was leaving and waiting on her approval on an apartment she couldn't stand in a city she wished didn't exist. 

"That's so nice, baby. You can get a nice couch in there as a gaming room, too." 

Kelvin considered her suggestion and nodded. "Damn, that's a good idea. I need to take you with me when I look next week. You down?" 

"Uh…yeah. Yeah, I'll come." Asia shook off her rapidly increasing heartbeat and scooched closer to rest her head on Kelvin's shoulder. "Can you show me another one?"

Enthusiasm fading into meaningless sounds turned Kelvin into Charlie Brown's teacher as he gushed over layouts and natural light. She nodded along to nothing in particular. Smile. Rub his arm. Act supportive. Be the perfect girl. Just be happy for a little longer. 

Reply if you'd liked to be tagged. DM if you’d like to be removed.

TAGS: @planetblaque @wvsspoppin @thatone-girly @avoidthings @slutsareteacherstoo @eilujion @amyhennessyhouse @yaachtynoboat711 @jenlovey @pinkpantheris @blowmymbackout @onherereading @becauseimswagman1 @thiccc-c @hrlzy @urfavblackbimbo @blackburnbook @ashanti-notthesinger @xo-goldengirl @ariiijestertheklown @blyffe @tvchi @wabi-sabi1090 @flydotty @aldrigmer444 @ash-ketchumzzz @nayaesworld @ms-mosley-ifunastyyy @writingsbytee @teddybeerz @trippyscotch @theogbadbitch @thevelvetwhispers @wowitsafemale @kindofaintrovert @sexysativa605 @jvzmine19 @turn-thy-paige @lapateeserie @simplyzeeka @supremechae @palmstreesallday @blackmoonchilee @ovohanna24 @prettypynklemonade @gwenda-fav @itsash-okay @sparklytemi @blackchickinthedesert @miyuhpapayuh

[the-froschamethyst4]

Their Guilty Pleasures

————

COD Men Headcanons

Add two special guests

————

König

Junk food

Cheats on his diet about every week

He can’t help it

“König I bought some donuts!!” His s/o calls from downstairs, you should have seen the way his head jolted up when hearing donuts

“You did?” He came downstairs acting nonchalant but he knows he’s going to devour those donuts in one sitting

“Yep,” his partner have him a soft smile

Around midnight König ended up getting the biggest sweet tooth craving he’s ever had and those donuts were calling his name

He gets out of bed makes his way downstairs and opens the box of glazed donuts

“Scheiß (shit),” he mumbles when grabbing one and sitting at the counter

Next morning his partner had woken up to no König in bed. They weren’t confused cause he had a tendency to get up before them

They make their way downstairs to the kitchen and saw their husband passed out at the kitchen counter the box of donuts open, one half eaten and on the counter.

“KÖNIG!!”

He jolts up to only realize what he did

————

Ghost

Harry Potter

When he was a little bot him and his brother watched it all the time to distract themselves

At a point he thought Magic was real and that maybe Hogwarts was real and he was just waiting for that letter to come to the mailbox

Literally when I tell you this man sat by the mailbox at one point waiting for it, he then started to look at his window for an owl to come

He even at a point had a Gryffindor robe that he wore whenever he could get the chance to

It was still hard for him to make friends even as someone who liked Harry Potter when it was very popular, he still felt like he couldn't relate to the kids at his school

When getting older and becoming less and less involve with the Military he started to settle back into his old ways where Harry Potter was comforting to watch

"Harry Potter?" He s/o says coming into the living room and sitting next to him. "You didn't strike me as someone who likes Harry Potter."

"You must not really know me then." He chuckles. "Tommy and I use to watch it all the time...I just haven't seen the movies in such a long time."

"Could I watch with you?"

"You don't need to ask me that, love, of course you can."

————

Price

Legos

Price loves them, he gets addicted to them from his kids

He loves seeing the build he could make, your wedding anniversary, you ended up getting lego flowers, you loved them obviously

He has spent so much money on them, he couldn't give you a price on the amount he has spent

"John, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I bought the Hobbit Tower, and I'm working on it."

Man has too much time on his hands when he isn't working

"The sinks broken."

"I'm almost done with this build, I'll do it in a little bit."

"The heater stopped."

"I'll fix it later."

"Can you change my oil?"

"Maybe-hey do you see this piece anywhere?"

————

Soap

Stuffed Animals

I think it might be a trauma thing, you don't question it, I mean why would you? You have stuffed animals on your bed, you can't get weirded out with a grown man like Soap having stuffed animal sitting on a shelf somewhere in your shared bedroom

Anywhere he goes he has to buy a stuffed animal like a souvenir

He's in Argentina? He's buying a stuffed Gecko

Germany? A stuffed goat

Australia? A stuffed kangaroo

He just needs one

If he has kids, most on his old stuffed animals that he grew up with will go to them as a comfort or security item.

————

Alejandro

True Crime

The man like true crime documents

He'll even listen to podcasts or even youtube videos when he's doing chores around the house

He understand now why women like to watch true crime documents at night, it's thrilling

"MI AMOR! LET'S WATCH THE NEW NETFLIX DOC!!" He yells from the living room.

"OKAY! HANG ON!" his partner yells back form the kitchen, coming to the living room with a plate of their dinner.

He turned Netflix on and put it on the new doc, that everyone has been freaking out about on social media

"I KNEW IT WAS HIM! You can just tell it was, from how he was acting, and his sad excuse of an alibi." He says.

"No, yeah, my mistake for thinking he was a good guy."

"Did they say knife or gun?"

"Rope."

"HIS FINGERPRINTS MATCHED AND THEY WERE JUST-pft nah, can't be him."

He gets a little bit too into it, but who doesn't?

————

Gaz

Anime

He loves it

His favorite ones are Fairy Tail, Ponyo, Akira, One Piece and Jujutsu Kaisen, Kaiju No. 8, and Attack on Titan

Does he have anime merch? Yes, yes he does-OFFICAL anima merch none of that off-brand Amazon shit

Jujutsu Kaisen is probably is all time favorite, Gojo and Yuuji are probably his favorite characters.

He's watched anime on his phone when he's on break

He's gone to cons before and cosplayed. His favorite cosplay he's done is Denji from Chainsaw Man

Him and his s/o have gone to cons together and dressed up as Yor and Loid, and did as much couple anime cosplays as they could

If it was up to Gaz he'd probably dress in more anime stuff, but he's on the clock right now, no, sort of anime gear on him at the moment

————

Alex

Garlic Bread

It's...every...restaurant...

"Do you have garlic bread?"

"Can we get a basket of garlic bread?"

"I'm on my cheat day, and could I get some garlic bread?"

"Garlic bread." He says with a big smile on his face.

His s/o has joked with about him becoming a garlic bread, and if so, they'll eat him right up

"You don't think you have a problem?" They asked.

"What? Garlic bread? It's just a light snack."

"You're gonna become one soon."

"Then that's great, I'll die as a happy piece of garlic bread." He smiled. "Are you mad that I eat more then I eat you?"

"Oh you ass-"

————

Barrage

Video Games

NERD! I'm kidding

He loves to relax and play video games

Got back into it when his Military friends asked him to join them on a game, but he couldn't, so he bought a PC, and Xbox and PlayStation and now he's fucking addicted to them

Of course if you do ask him for him around the house, he'll pause whatever he's doing and come and help you.

"Cal! I need you to get something off the shelf for me!"

"Okay! Hang on guys, my partner needs me real quick."

He had made his office into a 12 year old boys dream, LED lights everywhere, a big 50 in flat screen TV hanging on the wall with both Xbox and PlayStation hooked up to it, and in the corner was his L desk with his almost $3,000 PC with a shit tone of games downloaded to it

His favorite games posters hung up on the wall, almost art gallery with a white light shining on them to show it off even more

Is he loud when he dies...yes.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I'VE DIED LIKE 6 FUCKING TIMES IN A ROW, HOW THE FUCK DO I GET AROUND THIS BIG BITCH!!?"

He's talked about Streaming and making more money on the side, which his partner was fine with it as long as he doesn't get weird with his chat.

An ongoing joke in chat his partner doesn't know is if he is playing a game and there's a sexy person popping up on screen his chat just say 'pretend', 'pretend it's Y/n' because he was playing Resident Evil 8 and he was gushing over the 8 foot tall vampire lady with the big boobs and he just kept saying pretend.

————

Keegan

Books

Got into reading in his free time because of his s/o

He likes it, he use to hate books because he didn't get it, but now he loves them, he understand using your imagination for when it comes to reading

He's more into Sc-fi and Mystery, while his s/o likes romance and fantasy

One book he got into was a suggestion from a girl on BookTok, yeah, he's on BookTok, has no idea how he got there but loves the book suggestions

He likes series books

Takes a book with him if he's gone at work, will have it on his lap while being in the carrier plane, in a hummer, hunkered down for the night, he'll turn on his soft book light, so he doesn't disturb his co-workers and reads under his sheets

He's hardly on his phone anymore, he has counted before how long he was on his phone before going to go grab a book and read that instead...2 hours...and then on it probably once or thrice every week

————

Nikto

Technology

He likes fixing technology that no one else may know how to fix

He sat on the bus going home one day when an elderly man was having trouble reading some texts on his phone, so, Nikto helped him by adjusting the text, which was a simple fix but it almost seemed like a new thing now

Your screen is broke? Nikto will fix it, no charge

Camera acting funny? He's got you covered

Charging port seems to be not holding the charger? Something was blocking it but Nikto fixed it

He then made it a small business of just himself, not charging anyone for their technology issue(s) everyone has one

Nikto has even gone back to work, everyone now know about Nikto being able to fix technology, if their phones get clogged with sand Nikto's got them covered, it fell in the water, rice (apparently some did not know that)

[meangirls-imagines]

Hi. Can I request a Regina imagine? High femme lesbian reader. She/her. Looks are exactly my profile picture.

Plot:

Reader overhears people spreading terrible rumours about Regina. Reader defends her and Regina eventually finds out. Just pure fluff.

Thank you!

Protective

Description: Reader is usually the level headed one of her relationship. However, she is hanging on by a thread. The thread snaps when she hears a football player talking shit about her girl.

WARNINGS: none really. pure fluff. regina being all heart eyes for reader. reader yelling at men

Y/N was on her last straw.

All week for some reason, people wouldn't stop talking shit about her girlfriend.

Regina George.

It was no secret that people disliked her girlfriend. She knew that. She knew when her and Regina first got together. People would tell her all the time, it's not like she could forget.

But this was different.

It was more constant than usual.

It was like every day there was a new rumor about her girlfriend.

"Regina is cheating on Y/N with Aaron Samuels."

"I heard Regina is pregnant with Jake's baby."

Y/N was tired of the shit talking. She was one little inconvenience from exploding. Luckily for her, it would happen soon.

Unluckily for Shane Oman, he was about to endure Hurricane Y/N.

Regina knew all the rumors about her weren't true, but it still hurt to hear them. Gretchen and Karen were working to kill all the rumors as they started but it was hard when they kept coming.

Regina had no idea how Y/N was reacting to the rumors. She hadn't seen the girl all day due to them not sharing any classes together. So she had no idea what to expect.

She was waiting for the girl in the cafeteria, foot tapping impatiently. Gretchen and Karen were with her, glaring at anyone who looked at Regina badly as they walked past. The blonde felt vulnerable. She just wanted her girlfriend here with her.

Her day just got incredibly worse when Shane Oman came up to their table.

"Hey babe, you wanna hang out later?" Regina cringed. "Shane, you know I'm gay and have a girlfriend. Leave me alone." The boy smirked and leaned closer to Regina. "Oh come on, Regina. Remember how much fun we used to have? All you need is the right guy to straighten you out."

Regina went to reply but was interrupted by someone pouring a smoothie on the boy's head. He whipped around to see a smirking Y/N standing there with an empty cup.

"Hi there, Shane. Let me go ahead and explain something to you. You're going to back away from my girlfriend, and I won't tell the entire school that you have herpes. Got me?" The boy stared at the girl with rage in his eyes.

"Try it. No one would believe you." Y/N smiled at the boy. "Sure, they won't. But, I can very easily get medical documents that say that you not only have herpes but maybe I'll throw erectile dysfunction in there. Imagine how much action you'll get after that."

Shane blushed in embarrassment and stormed off, leaving a trail of smoothie behind him.

The cafeteria was silent, all staring at Y/N in disbelief. The girl stood on the table and addressed everyone.

"Okay. Since we seem to have a gossip problem at this school, allow me to tell everyone now. If I hear a fucking peep about my girlfriend, you can go ahead and sign your fucking death wish. Everyone got it?" The cafeteria seemed to all agree and go back to their business.

Y/N smiled in satisfaction and stepped down, instantly being pulled into Regina's lap. The blonde pulled her into a kiss, causing Gretchen and Karen to squeal.

They pulled away after a minute and Regina brushed her thumb on Y/N's cheek. "Thank you baby. I really appreciate it." Y/N smiled and kissed Regina's forehead. "Anything for you baby."

Needless to say, the rumors stopped and no one messed with Regina again.

[lokisprettygirl]

Step Out Of Line (Bill Skarsgard! Eric Draven x Female Reader) (Alternate Universe) (18+)

Read Chapter 14 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 15

Summary : Dolly reaches out to Eric before you could.

Warning: 18+, smut, dry humping , non consensual sex, mention of drug addiction, grooming, mommy kink, age gap relationship, emotional cheating, marital abuse, sexual abuse, consumption of weed

When you reached home you placed the groceries on the counter before you braced yourself against it to calm your nerves. She must have dug really deep to even find out about that part of your life, nobody knew about that, except your dad.

You still remembered that night when you had to call him for bail, you had prepared yourself to hear the disappointment in his voice but as he picked up he didn't yell, he didn't scream. He just sighed, took a promise that you won't do anything stupid, reminded you how much he loved you and then he booked a flight to get to you..

The memory made your heart clench, his absence eating away at you more than ever.

Maybe Eric would understand too, maybe he'd understand why you did this, but you feared things will change after this. You feared that the bond you had built with him since you got back would crumble and fall apart.

His mother ruined him with drugs, he had shared everything in the hope that you'd be good when you're on your own but you did the opposite of it, even knowing the dangers of it you got yourself involved in that life. All because you were desperate, because you missed him.

“Hey..good morning” you heard his voice as he leaned down to kiss you, the scent of his shampoo strong in the air, water droplets from his damped hair landed on your cheek, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Hey..I went to the store”

“Yeah I got your message” he said as he cupped your cheeks to kiss you again.

“You're so perfect” he murmured, making your eyes tear up.

That's what he thought of you but you weren't perfect and he'd stop seeing you that way once he learns the truth.

“Are you ok?” He asked as he backed away a little from you to unpack the groceries so you gave him a fake smile. A made up one.

You knew you had to tell him, you just didn't know how to bring it up.

“Yeah ..it was just jam packed at the store..I'll go shower” you said to him so he looked at you intently before he hummed in response.

You heard him humming a soft tune as you walked upstairs. He was learning to be happy on his own, he was getting used to the calm and normal, feeling safe in his surroundings. You didn't want to pull him back from that space.

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang so Eric walked towards the door only to find a sealed envelope on the doormat, there was no one around so he closed the door before he flipped the envelope to look for a name but there was nothing.

He sat down on the couch before he peeled the opening of the envelope, then he saw it.

It was a photo.

No, A mugshot.

Your mugshot stared back at him, hair a mess, eyes puffy with tears as you held a placard from NYPD with your information written on it.. he saw the date at the corner of the placard, it was years ago. Document from the arrest record was also tucked inside the envelope.

Caught for the possession of cocaine and heroin-200 milligrams.

Eric didn’t move for a long time. He just stared at the photo of you.

Because this..this was a version of you he had never imagined. Not the woman who cared for him, protected him, nursed his wounds, challenged Dolly, stood by his side when no one else would. Not the woman he’d fallen in love with.

A note also slipped out of the envelope so he picked it up.

“Ask her how she made money in New York..god knows what else she's hiding”

He sat there stunned as he read the note, he recognised the handwriting, his jaw clenched as he realised who was behind this but that didn't change the truth.

Half an hour later as you stepped downstairs, Eric heard your footsteps but didn't move from his spot.

“Eric?” You called out his name as you walked around the couch, and as soon as you saw the photo on the coffee table your heartbeat sped. You knew she'd try to sabotage you but you had no idea she'd do it so quickly.

“What is this?” He asked as he turned his head to look at you.

“I can explain -” you mumbled, voice dripping with fear.

“You should” he said sharply, the lump in your throat getting bigger.

“I was going to tell you i promise”

“When hmmm?” he spoke, agitation making its way into his usual gentleness “When exactly were you going to tell me? Were you waiting for your Visa to get declined again?” He asked you, eyes filled with tears.

“No..i..I'm sorry” you broke down in tears as you sat down on the coffee table, you couldn't hold them back anymore.

His heart clenched at the sight of you so he stood up and reached closer to you before he cupped your cheeks to make you look at him

“No sorrys y/n..tell me the truth” he wiped your tears as he questioned you. You grabbed his arm to pull him down on his knees so you could look him in the eyes.

“I was.. in a bad place” you began, voice shaking with anxiety and fear “You ..you were the only good thing in my life apart from my dad.. and when you stopped talking to me..i..felt heartbroken” his eyes welled up with fresh tears as you said that.

“I was at a bar one night..the kind you don't even need an ID to get in..that's where I met him. Jason..he was older than me but not much, he was your age..he was tall, he was pretty. I was drunk.. and I missed you ..so much..so when he started hitting on me i didn't resist even though I saw it, I saw how high he was but i ignored it because I felt so pathetic and lonely” he didn't say anything when you paused for a moment so you continued. You didn't even know what he was thinking.

“I don't know why but he made me think of you even more, he was damaged and hurt and i -”

“And you wanted to fix him like you wanted to fix me?” he said quietly, finishing the thought. The last thing you wanted was for him to think that he was just another project for you, just someone you wanted to fix.

“I didn't want to fix him..i wanted him to be you Eric..I wanted with him what I couldn't have with you because you belonged to my mother”

Eric’s breath hitched, his eyes darkening with a storm of emotions. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt, all of it forming a deadly concoction. He felt responsible for it all, he abandoned you when you were all alone in a new city.

You watched as he looked away, his jaw tense.

“You wanted him to be me” he repeated, his voice quieter this time, as though the words hurt to even say out loud.

“I know how messed up that sounds,” you whispered. “But I missed you so much it made me want to do bad things. No one knew. I couldn’t tell anyone What I was feeling about you..what I felt for you, it was so wrong and I couldn’t even cry about it to anyone, not even my dad. So I did something stupid. I let someone in who wasn't good for me…I thought maybe I could stop hurting over you if I had someone else”

“Did you use it?” He asked as his eyes found yours again, the guilt only intensifying.

“No ..never..I just kept it for him when he asked me to, he convinced himself and me that he'd quit, that he'd walk away from it but he never did” you spoke between your tears so he shut his eyes, a shiver running through him as the weight of your confession settled into his chest.

“I told myself I'd walk away,” you whispered, your voice cracking under the weight of old memories “Every day I told myself I’d leave. But I didn’t. I stayed until I heard the sirens of the police car one night, they were onto him for quite some time, when they raided my dorm room they found it on me”

Eric opened his eyes and looked at you, the hurt still etched across his features, but it was tangled with something else now, remorse, maybe even shame.

“Why didn't you call me y/n? You went through all that and not once you-” his voice choked on his own tears l,he couldn't even finish his words.

“And said what? That I got myself into the world that destroyed you once? That ruined your childhood? All I had was our memories, the way you felt so proud of me, the way you looked at me as if I was good..I didn't want to ruin that..that was all I had of you”

His arms finally wrapped around your shoulders as he pulled you into his lap. Your body melted into his arms instinctively, like you were always meant to fit there, tucked against his chest. He held you tightly, tight enough to make you feel safe, enough to make you believe he was here now.

“I thought I lost you” you whispered, burying your face in the crook of his neck “When I saw that photo on the table… I thought you'd never forgive me..that you'd never look at me the same”

“Y/n if I find out tomorrow you have murdered someone.. I'd still love you the same” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, his hands gently stroking your back. “You have hurt me but not for the reasons you think”

“Aren’t you angry?”You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes.

“I am” he admitted “But not with you. At myself for abandoning you like that. At her because she was one of the reasons I did it. I'm angry at how broken this world is. But I’m also angry because I love you so much and the thought of you carrying all that alone on your own, hurting like that, it makes me want to scream”

You sucked in a shaky breath as he said that

“I didn’t want you to see me that way.”

“I need to see you that way to” he said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “All of you. Not just the parts that are bright and beautiful all the time. The messy parts too. The broken ones. Because I’ve got them too and you have accepted each one of them..let me do the same for you my angel..no more secrets” He pulled you closer to kiss your forehead before he pecked on your lips tenderly.

“No more carrying your demons all alone you hear me? I need you to come to me when you're scared and hurt, you're my girl.. I know you're strong and brave and goddamn you're the most perfect girl in the world but that doesn't stop me wanting to protect you sweetheart” he murmured softly, your arms wrapped around his neck, holding onto him like he was the anchor keeping you afloat amidst the storm.

“Am i still perfect?” 

“You'd always be for me.. I don't care about your past or what you had to do when you felt weak and lonely. Do you really think I wouldn't understand what that sort of weakness can make you do?” he asked softly as he pulled back to look into your eyes. His eyes were still glassy with tears but there was a fire in them, the one he always had when it comes to you, a stubborn, unrelenting kind of love. The kind that survives anything and everything.

He picked you up in his arms before he curled up with you on the couch, riding the intensity of the overwhelming emotions.

You held onto him, like a child, sniffling quietly until it died down, until you felt lighter and all that left in your chest was relief.

“I'm sorry you had to find out like that” you whispered, you should have told him the moment you got back here.

“Mmm it's okay..I'm not upset with you, I'm fucking furious with her..she did that for what?” he asked, anger dripping from his voice.

“She wanted you to know I'm not any different than her or your mother ” you answered him. That's exactly what she wanted, for him to see you as someone who wasn't as good as he thought you to be.

“Well she's wrong as always, you're nothing like her or my mother, you could never be, you messed up but you also got out of that mess, you didn't let it ruin you and then you changed my life. She doesn't get to decide how I feel about you..I'd burn down everything in this world if it meant I'd still have you at the end of it all”

Funny because that's exactly what you would do for him.

He kissed you softly before he held onto you again, just allowing the silence to drown out the noises in your head as his fingers caressed through your hair.

“You do look cute in that mugshot you know” he said playfully so you chuckled as you pressed your head up to look at him “What happened to him? That guy?” he asked, just because he was curious.

“He's in prison somewhere..I don't know.. I didn't see him ever again after my dad bailed me out”

“Mmm good girl” he said as he caressed your cheek with the back of his thumb, your face flushed at the deep rumble in his voice.

“I don’t feel like a good girl,” you whispered.

“That’s because you’re too damn hard on yourself” He spoke softly.

“I was so scared you’d see that photo and think of me differently ”

“I didn’t” he said, voice firm now. “Not for a second. Even when I was angry, even when I was hurt… I never thought of you as anything other than my sweet angel”

“Why?” You tilted your head back slightly, gazing up at him. 

“Because I know you” he replied. “I’ve seen the way you look at people when you care about them. I’ve felt what it’s like to be loved by you. It's so pure” His voice cracked just slightly, but he didn’t look away. “Women in my Life..everything they ever gave to me came with strings and conditions but not you. Everything you give ..it's for me. Even when you lie you do it for me, not for you”

Your eyes welled up again but they didn't sting this time, you could feel the weight lifting off your shoulders, there was no secret between you both anymore.

“Eric.. about Milan--” you mumbled but he cut you off

“Let's not talk about it..I'll figure out something” he said firmly, leaving no room for any argument.

“Just don't lose opportunities because of me”

“I'll lose everything for you ..you should know that but i also want to make you happy..so like i said I'll figure it out. Milan is not the end of the world or my career since I'm so hot and stuff as you keep telling me” you let out a hearty little laugh as he said that. Everything was okay, he was there and he still loved you.

You didn't even remember falling asleep in his arms, he carefully lifted you up and placed you down on the couch before he covered you in a blanket and kissed your forehead, his eyes moist with the depth of love he felt as he looked at your sleepy innocent form.

He quietly grabbed the envelope and photo before he sneaked out of the house to go see her. Dolly. He was done with her nonsense.

He knew she was living with Bethany so he drove towards her house. As he reached Dolly opened the door wearing her old silk gown as if she was anticipating his arrival after what she had done.

Without even giving her a second glance he walked into the house. He knew his way around, had been here before.

“Well, well. Did you enjoy the little surprise I sent you?” She said to him so he chuckled before his expressions became serious.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he asked coldly as he held the envelope up for her to see.

“I thought you’d want to know what kind of girl you’ve tied yourself to. She’s not what she pretends to be, Eric” She said as she closed the door, her smile slipping just slightly as she put on the mask of fake concern.

“No” he said, his voice was cold as ice but filled with love at the same time “She’s better.. she's everything good in this world”

“Excuse me?” Dolly blinked, caught off guard by the sweetness in his tone.

“You heard me” He turned to face her fully, fire in his eyes “You think this would make me stop loving her? That some mistake from years ago would erase everything she’s done for me?” 

“She’s a criminal” She hissed as she stepped towards him  “She hid it from you. She’s a manipulative—”

“Don’t” he cut her off “Don’t you dare speak of her like that..you have no right anymore”

For a second, there was silence. Dolly stared at him like she didn’t even recognize him anymore. This boy who cowered in front of her when she so much as raised her voice was now standing up to her fearlessly.

“She was alone. Heartbroken, she made a mistake, she trusted someone she shouldn't have. But unlike you or my mother, she never dragged anyone else down with her even when she was in pain”

“You’re not thinking straight” she chimed in shamelessly.

“I’m thinking clearer than I ever have” Eric snapped “You tried to ruin her for me. But instead, all you did was show me how deep my love runs for her” He walked up to her now, close enough that she had to tilt her head to meet his gaze.

“She’s not good for you, Eric. She’ll drag you down”

“No,” he said softly as he thought of you “You dragged me down. She saved me”

“I gave you everything” Dolly’s face twitched with anger, fury threatening to erupt.

“No” he replied again “All you ever did was break me in pieces..she's the one who picked me up piece by piece even when she didn't have to” he said as he tore the envelope in pieces along with the contents of it, letting the pieces fly around her like confetti.

He then walked past her to reach the door but paused as he held the doorknob and turned to look at her.

“If you ever come near her again… if you send another note, make another call, whisper another lie, I’ll expose all of your secrets for the world to see. You forget I know some too. Infact all of them”

And with that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him hard enough to rattle the frame.

Dolly stood in silence, her hands clenched at her sides, gritting her teeth so harshly she might as well have broken them.

That's when the realisation kicked in. He wasn’t her little puppet anymore. 

*******

As Eric returned home he brought back lunch with him. You were still curled on the couch, the blanket pulled up to your chin. He knelt beside you, brushing a strand of hair from your face, that's when you awakened 

“Mmmm where did you go?” You asked softly as you held onto his hand.

“To get food..get up now” he said to you so you hummed before you sat up, giving him space on the couch to sit down, he unboxed the chinese food he had brought from your favourite takeout place.

After you both ate you sat down to post a picture on his instagram account, something to keep the account active. You could tell he wasn't interested in that part of his life, he was satisfied with what he had, but it was important to build connections in that industry.

Later that night after you both showered and got in bed, he immediately got on top of you and kissed you.

This morning for a moment you had felt nothing would ever be the same again but it was, maybe it was even better than before because you weren't hiding those ugly parts of you from him, better because he was not affected in the slightest even after that.

“You should stop wearing these in bed..makes me so goddamn hard” he murmured as he sucked on your neck, his fingers playing with the straps of your tank top.

“And you being half naked is okay?” You answered playfully so he chuckled against your skin, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

As his fingers lowered down the straps, making your breasts spill out of the confinement, your head sunk even deeper into the pillow as he began to kiss down slowly.

“Eric” you moaned his name as his lips latched onto one of your nipples.

“So perfect..do you want me to stop?” He asked gently as he looked up at you, his green eyes shimmering with genuine love and lust.

“No.. please keep going” you said as you pressed his head between your bosom, his tongue ran over the hollow of your breasts before his mouth latched onto them again, sucking, nipping, licking at a dangerously slow place. It wasn't something he did in the hope that it would lead to another thing, it was the whole moment for him.

He just wanted to suck on your titties.

Your back arched, pressing your tits even deeper into his face, his tongue swirled around the areola, tracing every dot like a braille as if he was trying to read something sacred.

“Mmmm.. eric” you moaned his name, the sound of your voice only fueled his fire, his hips humped against the mattress slowly to ease the ache he felt in the pit of his stomach.

“Is that good?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Mmm so good.. you're so good”

“Am i?” he asked

“So good baby” you repeated 

“Am i good though.. really good?” He asked again, that's when you realised what he wanted to hear, what he needed to hear.

“You are …you're a good boy” A guttural moan escaped his throat as he went back to sucking on your tits as if his life depended on it. 

“You're such a good boy” you repeated again, voice a soft safe murmur in his ears, ridding him of all the bad memories he had associated with that term.

He was good, he was good to you, good for you, he always wanted to be the best thing you could ever have because you deserved it most of all. And he was starting to believe it too, he was starting to believe that he was good. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Taglist @mariaenchanted @malenoradgn @loushaw131460 @wiseyouthinfluencer @muchwita @urmomsgirlfriend1

[shiny-jr]

hi shiny ! i saw ur post on that anon who was asking abt AI i use it too ! i don’t use it to write my works but i use it to refine it like my grammar and punctuation.. i feel like it’s bad. even though all the ideas, and writing are mine (minus the better synonyms and punctuation)

so need a genuine writer on how they feel abt it cause i feel like after all the AI hate i don’t think my writings are okey.

Well, there are a lot better sites to use. I can recommend some resources? So maybe take a look at some of these and consider using them as tools without the need for AI!

WordHippo - This one is my personal favorites, and I've mentioned it in multiple other posts. It's great for finding anything word related, like definitions, synonyms, antonyms, etc. I literally use it all the time, whenever I'm writing something.

GoogleDocs - This is my preferred site to write. It's where I keep all my drafts and saved files when it comes to writing. There are others though like Word and such, but I just prefer this application because it can be used without downloading any app and it's free. Plus, some of the time, it'll catch spelling mistakes and such. Additionally, recent updates on it added a feature to create subtabs within a single document, which really helps when I'm creating an extensive project. So for example, I'll create the document, and have a separate subtab on it for the story, another subtab for notes, another for ideas, etc.

Reading - It's also important to read. I don't mean reading of your own work, but while that is important too, I mean read over things you like. Try to understand why you enjoyed what you read. Was it something about the style, the word choice, descriptions, plot, characters, themes, etc? The list goes on. Find what you like and build on it. Maybe you like a certain author's style. It's okay to attempt to emulate (not directly copy) it, and form your own style from that.

Share - Sharing is vital, and posting falls under this. While I understand this may be more difficult to complete depending on if you have mutuals that would give good critiques or not, if you do have friends and are confident in them, maybe they might be willing to read one of your works and give pointers. Keep in mind, this doesn't work for everyone. I know a lot of writers who prefer not to share their work before posting, I only share my own work with like one person before posting, others have multiple friends who read their work before posting. It varies.

Acceptance - I will say this: accept that your writing is not perfect. And that's okay. Literally, no matter what you do, you will have supporters and you will have haters. You yourself may sit there and believe your writing is not good enough. Believe me, this is a very common thought process amongst writers.

I remember being so hesitant and scared to post in the beginning. My writing was BAD, I will be the first to admit. But that's because I was inexperienced. With time and effort, my experience grew and so did my skill. It became something that I'm sometimes proud of, sometimes I'm not. That's just how it is. Even now, years later, I still get those negative thoughts and anxiety as I look at the post button when finishing a project. Those thoughts creep in and I begin to doubt myself. But, I think I would rather post it and risk the chance of maybe regretting it later instead of the alternative where I never posted something and regretted never sharing it.

[thechaoticdruid]

[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant]

Astarion(s) x Tav

Plot: I made a post a while back about Ascended Astarion meeting Spawn Astarion via multiversal timeline shenanigans and legit maybe one person shared a fic with a similar premise.

So basically I was like *puts on infinity gauntlet* “Fine, I'll do it myself.”

Content Warning// 18+ for Sexual humor and suggestive themes. I legit have not been in the fanfiction business in years so go easy on me. 

Characters might be ooc. Spelling/Grammar mistakes may be present. A wee bit of blood and violence. Gale is made fun of. Tav is based heavily off my human druid Tav, Winnie and uses She/Her pronouns.//

Possible Triggers: Ascended Astarion, kidnapping, mentioned character death, possessiveness, obsession, AA touches Tav without her consent (not sexually tho), Galeshaming. 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Ah, the Elfsong. There was really no better place to unwind after a long day of adventuring. And there was really nothing better to help one unwind than a favorite snack, a cold drink and lovely company. Unfortunately for Tav she'd have to wait up on the company as her beloved was currently preoccupied with his nightly grooming. Gods only know how long that man will take doing his hair. The human female rolled her eyes and brought her wine bottle to her lips taking a few swigs before biting into some cheese she'd been nibbling on prior.  Tav lounged about on their shared bed wearing nothing but a black tank and red boxers. Despite the peace and relaxation she was getting pretty bored without her love to snuggle and gossip with. Tav finished off the last few bites of cheese before she pulled out the private journal she'd been keeping since this whole adventure began. Little doodles of her partner decorated the pages along with her chicken scratch handwriting. 

She had documented details of their adventure whenever she had the chance and also took the time to add various doodles of her companions and any monsters they encountered. (Some of her favorite drawings included herself opening a bottle and releasing a spectator. And of course a lovely little drawing of her and Astarion kicking the shit out of Cazador.)

As she waited Tav began to entertain herself by writing down a to-do list.  

“Ah lets see…Yep definitely gonna have to have a chat with that pompous prick who was threatening a kid the other day. Maybe I can invite him back to the tavern later? I'm sure Star wouldn't mind having a snack.” Tav hummed, scribbling down everything she had planned out as of late.

Shit I need to do:

‘Feed rich tit to boyfriend.’ 

‘Teach Shadowheart to swim.’

‘Buy Clive a best friend.’ 

‘Murder baddies.’

‘Wildshape into a pigeon and shit on Gortash's head.’

‘Buy boyfriend cute clothes.’

‘Take Gale shopping for wizardy stuff.’

‘Look into real estate in the Underdark.’

‘Take Scratch for a walk.’

‘Kill more bad people.’

‘Contemplate licking dead spider.’

‘Be screamed at by Gale for licking dead spider.’

‘Buy flowers for Karlach and Shadowheart.’

‘Buy boyfriend more cute clothes.’

‘Study wizard stuff.’

‘Help Moon Lesbians plan wedding.’

‘Research ring of the sunwalker.’

‘Piss off the Gods……Again…’

‘Remember to take Astarion on romantic beach date before fighting the Elder Brain.’

‘Unalive people of not goodness.’

‘Shave Gale’s beard while he sleeps.’

‘Continue writing smutty novel series so I can keep buying boyfriend cute clothes.’

“Tav, a word please.” Gale appeared from around the corner. Tav groaned, annoyed by the prospect of having to get up. Especially since Gale looked like he was going to scold her for something. Begrudgingly she hopped off the bed, leaving the comfort of her room to see what in the hells that damn wizard wanted. 

“What do you need, Gale? I'm kinda in the middle of writing down my to-do list.”

“Am I inclined to believe that you've been writing erotic novels that feature Astarion and I?” The wizard inquired.

“Pfft! What in the hells gave you that idea!” Tav laughed, her eyes staring off to the side nervously as she twiddled her thumbs. Gale pulled out a red leather bound book titled ‘Blood-Mage’. It was a ridiculously smutty novel about a young handsome sorcerer named Garrett Delarous who is reluctantly forced to team up with a dastardly, but world endingly beautiful Vampire Lord in order to save the world or some shit. (The book mostly focused more on smut than plot.) Amazingly the novel had made a killing after Tav had peddled it at Sharess's Caress. It seemed nearly everyone wanted a copy.  (Tav was also pretty sure she noticed Halsin was reading the book as well.)

“My series is about a renowned sorcerer and a Vampire Lord. There's a difference, Gale.” Tav crossed her arms with a huff. 

“You can't just profit off of other people's likenesses Tav! You at least need to pay them royalties!” 

“I always give half the money I earn to Astarion.” 

“I’m talking about me!”

“I think my beloved ‘gloves of power’ were more than enough payment for you.” Tav huffed before looking off to the side with a sad look.

I miss those gloves so much.

Gale sighed in annoyance, pinching the bride of his nose. He was used to Tav’s shenanigans at this point but this was just ridiculous. Not to mention while skimming through Tav's scandalous work he noticed the sorcerer was always on the bottom during intimate scenes. The audacity!

“Besides I use the money I make from this for not only myself and Astarion, but the rest of the camp as well. Adventuring ain't cheap ya know?” 

“You can at least give me a small percentage of the profits. Say thirty percent?” 

“Ten percent.” Tav said flatly.

“Twenty percent?”

“Ten percent.” Tav repeated.

“Fine.” Gale gives in, causing the shorter of the two to smirk triumphantly. Tav watched smugly as the wizard slumped off in defeat before quickly adding another note to her to-do list.

‘Give 10% of book money to the stinky wizard.’

Tav finished off her list as she felt a pair of cool arms wrap around her form from behind, her cheeks tinting light pink. “Do you really need to take five hours in the bath?”  She hummed, turning her head to meet her partner’s crimson gaze. His hair was dry and looked rather soft and silky and he was dressed in this eccentric red silk robe with fluffy black trim.

“You can't rush art, darling.” Astarion purred before nuzzling his cheek against hers. “You know if you were getting impatient you could have joined me in the tub. I would have loved the company.” He murmured huskily.

“In these tiny ass bathtubs? I'd have to sit on your lap and even then I doubt we'd have enough room to really do anything.” Tav replied, nuzzling back against him. 

“We could still try.~” The vampire cooed.

“Tempting, but the others have whined enough about our night time activities. Apparently we're noisy.” 

“Then perhaps next time I shall have to gag you won't I?” 

“Alright! I'm ending this conversation here!” Tav said quickly, face burning up at his teasing. 

“Besides, I’ll need some sleep for tomorrow. Gortash won't kill himself, unfortunately.” Tav said with a yawn.

“Really? Now? I was hoping you'd at least cuddle with me before bed.” Astarion pouted.

“Oh you poor thing. Fine, we can cuddle till I fall asleep. Cutie.” The human female smiled sweetly before planting a kiss on her lover's cheek, receiving a content hum in response. Tav turned to pull away from the elf's embrace before suddenly feeling herself be scooped up and tossed over his shoulder.

“Hey! What did I say about picking me up!?” She whined, squirming a bit as she hung over his shoulder. “I don't like being manhandled!”

“But you're so adorable like this.~” Astarion teased, his hand gripping her ass as he carried over to the bed. Despite Tav’s complaints she did little else in protest besides pout and blush as she was whisked away. The two of them soon settled on the bed, Tav immediately nuzzling into Astarion's chest and relaxing. Astarion’s clawed fingernails found their way into her messy locks, caressing and running through them as the two snuggled together. His skin was cold to the touch, but honestly Tav actually liked it. It kinda reminded her of the cool side of her pillow. Even though there was the constant threat of death around every corner the two of them were still able to cherish their time together, and hopefully now that Astarion had been freed of his master they would continue to do so.

 There was still the tiny issue of an evil alien brain thing that could turn them into soulless squid monsters, but they'd be able to take care of that sooner or later. A part of Tav wanted to put it off as selfish and dangerous as it could be. Because as soon as they destroyed the brain, they'd destroy the only protection Astarion had against the sun. Tav wasn't about to give up on finding a way for her love to enjoy the sun, but for now she'd at least make the time he has left in it special. 

“Star….” Tav murmured aloud, her head tilting upwards to meet her partner's eyes.

“Yes dear?” He hummed.

“You know there's actually something I've been meaning to talk to you about. We've been together for a while now and well…we haven't actually had a real date….I mean I guess it's understandable considering we have to save the world and shit, but I was thinking maybe if there's time we could do something together....”  Tav bit down on her lip as she sat up on the bed. She felt nervous all of a sudden, not used to asking for stuff like this. Astarion had always been the one to initiate most of their romantic activities. The best Tav could do was a kiss on the cheek or a hug and even that had taken a while for her to get comfortable with. 

“What about all our little late night trysts? Do those not count as dates?” Astarion raised an eyebrow though his tone was playful.

“Ehh…well…rolling around in the dirt in the middle of nowhere isn't exactly what I'd call a date.” Tav said awkwardly, earning a chuckle from her vampire. 

“I suppose you're right. We've never really had any bonding time without you being pinned underneath me.” He joked before quickly clearing his throat and finally trying to be serious. “What do you have in mind, darling?”

“I just want to take you out somewhere…We could go out to eat or just walk in the park….” The human female twiddled her thumbs as she trailed off, feeling butterflies in her stomach. “I'd be up for anything really as long as I'm with you.” 

“I…would like that very much, my love.” Astarion cupped her cheek, his eyes soft and full of affection.  He pulled her into a sweet chaste kiss, allowing her to return it before she pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

Thudd!

Tav quickly pulled back from Astarion's embrace as she heard a noise. She looked around frantically for the sound.

“Tav? Is something wrong?” Astarion asked.

“I just heard something…” She said before suddenly her eyes landed at the window near their bed.  On the opposite side of the window seat a small white bat could be seen looking through the glass. Its little red eyes stared at the human with an intense gaze. “It's a bat.” Tav pointed towards the window. Astarion looked over at the little creature before internally groaning.

 No. She better not even think about it!  

The bat blinked, looking at Tav a few times before curling its left wing against its body. 

“I think its wing is injured!” Tav exclaimed with concern.

“Ugh leave it! We've taken in enough stray beasts!” Astarion scoffed, but Tav immediately ignored him, rushing over to the window. 

“Tav! Don't! It probably has some horrible disease or something!”

Tav quickly opened the window, her eyes going soft as she looked down at the small animal. She moved to scoop it up into her arms but before she could the bat simply fell back. 

“Shit!” She shouted. 

“Thank the gods, it's dead. Now come back to bed, darling.” Astarion said, patting the spot besides him. Tav just glared at him silently before suddenly she wildshaped into a raven and flew out the window.

~•~•~•~•~

While Tav didn't preach about nature 24/7 like Halsin did she was still just as much of a druid as he was and couldn't bear to stay by while an injured animal was in need. (Much to her lover's dismay.)  She'd flown out the window of their room and circled around looking for the little bat. 

There was no sign of the winged beast anywhere near the elfsong, but at least that was a sign it likely hadn't fallen to its death. Tav kept searching, eventually straying further from the tavern until she was forced to land and give her wings a breather, returning back to her human form.  

“Dammit it's so dark I can't tell where I am. Everything looks different at night.” Her eyes strained as she struggled to make out any familiarity. Despite having lived in Baldur's Gate for about ten years Tav had always made it a point not to roam about at night. Her lack of dark vision made night time prowling even more dangerous, especially in this city.

She decided to reserve her strength instead of wild-shaping again. From what she could make out in the dark she'd found herself in one of the back alleys. Tav kept stumbling around in the dark for a while until at last she began to consider heading back. The bat likely wasn't dead since she had seen no hair or hide of it and she really wasn't in the mood to find herself in trouble. It constantly seemed to follow Tav these days it seemed. Last time she wandered around the city by herself she got into a fist fight with some stuck up noble lady who had referred to her as ‘a fat ugly little boy’. (The others were not happy about sneaking her out of prison that day.)

Just as Tav was about to assume the form of a beast fit for the night she noticed some light up ahead. The graveyard had been illuminated by a couple of lanterns. Tav approached hoping it would help her map out her way back if she just remembered how to get to the Elfsong from there. However as soon as she got close to the light someone was waiting for her. 

“Astarion?” Tav called out as her silver haired lover stepped out of the darkness. She expected nagging, and complaining about having to come out here looking for her, but instead Astarion just stared at her intensely as if studying every detail of her face. “Are you okay?” She asked with concern. Something was very strange about this. Astarion being quiet for long was never a good sign. Tav scanned him over, almost immediately noting his elegant attire. A black and red suit with silver bats embroidered on it. Odd. Tav had never seen him wear this outfit before. And he was always quick to show off any new clothes to her, seeking her praise. Astarion moved towards her quickly and out of nowhere pulled her into a crushing hug. 

“Yes of course. I was just worried about you, my sweet.” His grip on her was almost uncomfortably tight, as if he was holding onto her for dear life. 

“I haven't been gone that long….” Tav stiffened. There was an abnormal warmth to his body. Sure he was able to raise his temperature after feeding, but there was hardly a decent supply of beasties for him to nibble on in this city, not to mention he would have had to have found one pretty damn fast before seeking her out.  

“You’ve always been such a brave little thing, haven't you?” He let out a chuckle, his grip on her didn’t falter. His tone didn't seem threatening, but one thing for sure set off an alarm in her.

Thump-thump. 

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

Tav immediately ripped herself away from him and took a few steps back, her eyes glaring daggers.  “Who the hells are you?” She snapped. 

“Whatever, ever do you mean, pet?” His voice was full of false innocence, it reminded her a lot of how Astarion would often speak whenever accusations were hurled at him, but this person was definitely not her lover. 

Tav’s first instinct was to assume he'd probably been one of the shape-changers they'd been attacked by in the past, but there was this gnawing gut feeling that this time was different. 

“Drop the act. I've already met enough shit heads running around wearing someone else's face. Who are you really?”

“I’m Astarion. Really dear, I'm disappointed you have so little faith in me that you'd think I'd allow some lowly shape-changers near you.” He took a few steps forward. 

“Stay away from me…” Tav growled out through gritted teeth. Damnit. She didn't have any weapons and was literally in her sleepwear. 

“You seem tired, love. Perhaps we should head back so you can get some rest?” He extended his hand towards her.  Tav was about to say something else before suddenly an arrow came out of nowhere, nearly hitting the Astarion look alike in the shoulder. He was able to dodge just in the nick of time.  Tav gasped in surprise before quickly turning back to see another…. Astarion?

The two looked identical aside from their clothing. The imposter was wearing his elegant suit and the other one (whom Tav hoped to the gods was actually him) was wearing a familiar red and black doublet. 

“Hells teeth.” Astarion spoke up as he looked over at the two.  Tav immediately sniffed air around the second Astarion. The tiniest whiff of death hit her senses and immediately she ran over to him. 

“Star!” Tav was by his side in an instant. His arm quickly looped around her hip protectively before he scanned over her face. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, receiving a nod in response.  Astarion then looked over towards his look alike. “My, aren't you just beautiful? I must admit I'm quite flattered you chose to imitate me.” 

“Is that what you think of me? I'm hurt.” The other vampire laughed. “I am no mere imitation. I am you…..well a better you.” 

“You're not making any sense!” Tav hissed, her jaw clenching as she suppressed the urge to let out an animal-like growl.  

“Allow me to shed some light on it then. I come from a reality where instead of choosing to remain weak and pathetic we became who we always wanted to be.”  Tav's eyes widened at the revelation, though she was still debating whether or not to believe all this madness. Of course she'd been to hells, the shadowfell and even fought a god so maybe this wasn't too far fetched.

“The Vampire Ascendant.”

“If you're telling the truth then why are you here? You have everything you want don't you?” The vampire spawn quirked an eyebrow. Meanwhile the Ascendant’s face suddenly turned cold. He almost looked sad. 

“I did. Wealth, power, pleasure, everything I could ever dream of. I was on the cusp of dominating the entirety of the sword coast. Everything was mine. But none of it mattered without the one thing I cherished most. My beloved consort. My Tav.” His eyes suddenly locked into the human female. She felt small, cornered, like a rat caught between a cat’s paws. “He was taken from me…” 

Tav stiffened, taking a step back. She really did not like where this was going. Her lover kept a gentle hold on her, staying between her and the other vampire.

“And now you're here to take my Tav I presume?” Astarion scoffed, “you obviously didn't care very much about yours then if you're already looking for a replacement.” 

“HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME!” Before Tav could think her lover was knocked off his feet. A punch had come at him faster than he could react. The Ascendant stood over him, shaking with anger. Tav moved over towards the vampire spawn as quickly as she could, checking him out. He seemed alright, albeit a little winded, possibly bruised. Astarion huffed, getting back to his feet. Tav was quick to cast cure wounds on him to help perk him back up.  

The Ascendant took in a breath, regaining his composure. While the spawn swiftly tossed Tav a spare dagger from his pack. A fight was likely inevitable now. 

“I’ve searched across thousands of timelines. None of these pathetic excuses for adventurers came even close to my beloved. That is…until I found you of course…” The vampire lord pointed a clawed finger at the druid.  “You're the only one who resembles him in the slightest, albeit you are a bit more…voluptuous than he was.” He chuckled a bit. 

“Okay hold on a minute! You can't just come here and take someone else’s Tav because you lost yours!” Tav pointed her dagger shakily towards him.

“My dear, I don't think you understand. I am the Vampire Ascendant. I can take whatever I want!”

“I don't care if you're the fucking god of gnomes I'm not going anywhere with you. I have my own Astarion.” Tav gripped the blade tightly while her free hand prepared to cast a spell.

“I had hoped you'd come quietly, but it seems we'll have to do this the hard way.” With a flash of pink light Tav was hit with a sleeping spell and fell to the ground unconscious. Her dagger dropped to the ground with a clatter. The spawn was quick to move in front of Tav taking out his rapier and aiming a swipe at the other vampire. 

The Ascendant stepped back just as the thin slender blade nicked a cut across his attire, just barely missing his flesh. The spawn took another swing at him, nicking his side and gaining a kick to the ribs in return. The spawn huffed, quickly recovering before moving in for another attack.

However the Ascendant’s clawed hand struck first, slashing through the armor surrounding the Astarion's shoulder and slicing his flesh. The spawn cried out and gripped his arm as his counterpart smirked smugly, bringing his finger up to his lips and basically tasting his own blood. 

“Mmm…Delicious.~” He purred. The Ascendant’s crimson eyes trailed over towards Tav before beginning to glow red. “To me, now.” He said as if issuing a command to unseen soldiers.

Within seconds two oddly familiar figures appeared out of mist. A sickly pale looking Halsin and Shadowheart, both with glowing red orbs for eyes.  

“Gods below. You've turned your own friends into spawn!?” Astarion gasped, his face full of disgust. 

“Eh…I wouldn't exactly call them friends…. Though they are much more compliant this way.” The vampire lord replied with a toothy grin. The spawn felt sick to his stomach. To think he could have ended up this way.  

“Take care of my inferior self, would you darlings? I have places to be…” The Ascendant gave a small wave before quickly scooping the unconscious Tav up in his arms. 

“Yes master.” The undead Shadowheart and Halsin replied, a bright red light shone around their bodies as they were compelled to attack. 

“Farewell beautiful.” The vampire lord gave his spawn self a wink before quickly vanishing into mist, taking Tav along with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Astarion….” Tav muttered tossing and turning in her sleep as she slowly began to come to. She shot up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding.

“Ugh…That was a terrible dream. Star you wouldn't believe…” Tav went silent as her eyes scanned her surroundings. It in fact was not a dream. 

“Oh gods damnit.” She huffed.

 Tav was in a large elegant looking bedroom, lying upon a purple queen size bed adorned with fine silk sheets. Maroon red walls surrounded her and were decorated nicely by paintings and other fine wall decor.  The first thing the druid noticed after taking in her surroundings was the pressure around her neck. Her hands quickly reached for her throat feeling what seemed like a tight choker of some kind. She quickly hopped off the bed and looked into the mirror of a nearby vanity that sat west of the bed. “Fucking hells.” She breathed out as her eyes laid upon a black and red collar adorning her neck. There was this unnerving glow surrounding the collar. Most likely some kind of magic was placed on it. Quickly she curled her fingers preparing to use a spell in order to tear this damn thing off of her, but nothing happened. 

This thing must be silencing my casting somehow.

Tav for a moment before forming an idea. She could probably wildshape into something small and squeeze out. Maybe. The druid sighed before getting on all fours preparing to transform into a rat. She let out a grunt, but nothing happened. 

“Oh fuck you!” She shouted before rolling and desperately trying to yank the collar off.

 Tav growled and pulled on the neck piece, yanking as hard as she could, resorting to gnawing on it. 

Knock knock.

The druid immediately ceased her actions at the sound of the door. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of it being that so-called ‘Vampire Ascendant’ again.  Her eyes flickered around the room before she took hold of a candle stick and stood next to the door, back pressed against the wall. 

The door creaked open and a small figure walked inside. Tav prepared herself to strike down whoever had entered, but froze upon seeing the person. It was a small blonde haired half-elf woman, dressed in a house keeper's attire. 

Tav quickly looked into her eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as she noticed they were blue. She set the candlestick down on the vanity and looked at the half-elf curiously. “Who are you?” She asked.

“My name is Abigail, milady. The master sent me to help you get dressed and make sure you come see him.” The small woman piped up in a small soft voice.  Abigail was petite and quite short, probably about an inch or two shorter than Tav was, though the druid estimated the half elf was probably around the same age as she was…well physically anyway. With elves you could really never tell. 

“And exactly where am I?” Tav crossed her arms. 

“The Crimson palace milady. My lord has taken up residence here while he stays in your realm.” Abigail replied before scurrying across the room, towards a closet. “It'd be best not to keep him waiting, my lady.” The half-elf rummaged around through the closet before taking a couple of different outfits to choose from and spreading them out over the bed. “My apologies if you'd prefer a dress, but this is all we could bring with us from our world.” 

Tav blushed a bit in embarrassment as she realized she was still only wearing a tank and boxers. She looked over at the bed and took note of the three suits that laid out in front of her. 

“These belonged to Master Tav. Master Astarion said they'd likely fit you, my lady.” 

“Now hold on, I have questions! How did you all get here, and what is this thing!?” Tav demanded as she tugged on her collar once again.

“I'm sorry I can say no more. Please miss, just get dressed.” Abigail pleaded,a hint of fear was in her tone. Tav was hesitant, but begrudgingly she slipped off her tank before sliding into one of the suits, a red one that felt a little snug on her, but actually not by much. The only issue being that she couldn't get the top three buttons of the white undershirt that went with it to button.  It left her cleavage slightly exposed. Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

“Okay, I'm ready.” She said, Abigail nodded and began to lead the druid out of the room. 

Perhaps this was her chance? She could make a break for it on their way out! Tav braced herself to bolt only to be met with a shockingly familiar face as she exited the room. Lae'zel.  Or well a vampire spawn that looked completely identical to her githyanki companion aside from a pair of glowing red. 

“Dear gods, Lae'zel, what happened to you? Did Astarion do this?” Tav gasped in shock. 

 “She's not your Lae'zel, milady.” Abigail spoke up.

“I was told to make sure the master’s new pet came quietly, not to answer questions.” Lae’zel simply replied.

“Come on, let's go.” Abigail took hold of Tav’s arm, giving her a gentle smile before tugging her along. Lae'zel quietly followed, a seemingly permanent scowl on her face as she watched Tav's every move, almost daring her to run for it.

The three walked down a long corridor for what seemed like hours. The sound of footsteps along with her own heartbeat seemed to be the only thing Tav could process as a gnawing anxiety set in. Her chest tightened, her throat felt dry and she could feel this nervous pain dancing across her spine. She wasn't sure why but something about this other Astarion scared her. This Vampire Ascendant.  She had never been afraid of her beloved spawn, hells she wasn't even afraid of Cazador or any other vampire she had come across on their journey, but something about her lover's counterpart made her skin crawl. 

“Well aren't you just precious?” A seductive pur tore Tav from her thoughts, forcing her to look up and realize she'd been dragged out into the ballroom. It definitely was a lot cleaner than the past time she'd been here. All the blood and wolf corpses had been dealt with.  Just how long has this other Astarion been here?  He couldn't have just started squatting here, found and kidnapped Tav, and had time to clean everything up on the same day!  The Vampire Ascendant sat upon Cazador’s old throne, looking down at Tav. His eyes trailing over her.

Tav took a deep breath before clearing her throat and trying to appear confident.

“Where is Astarion? And I mean my Astarion.” 

“You needn’t concern yourself with him any longer. You're mine now and I will give you so much more than he ever could.~” The Vampire Lord stood up and stepped towards Tav slowly. 

“I’m not your Tav. I can never be him.” The druid backed up a little, however with Lae’zel’s presence behind her she didn't have much room to retreat. She wasn't sure if reasoning with this alternate version of her lover was possible, but it was worth a shot if nothing else. However instead of listening he swiftly took her hands in his. 

“No need to be modest, my pet, you're practically like him in every way. You have his eyes, his face, the same little quirks and ticks. Granted, you're built a little different anatomically, but that's not something that ever deterred me.” Astarion moved in closer, briefly pressing his lips against her knuckles. “And now that I've found you, nothing will ever part us. Not again.” Before Tav could speak she was pulled in for another tight hug. She squirmed a bit, conflicted feelings of pity and fear were arguing back and forth in her mind as she felt him nuzzling his face into her neck. He was clearly dangerous, but he also seemed heartbroken.  He wanted anyway to have his lover back so badly he crossed time itself to see them again. Or at least someone who resembled them. 

But Tav knew deep down she wouldn't be enough to fill the void left by her counterpart. Gods, she hoped there would be a happy ending to all of this.

~•~•~•~•~•~

A little note from ChaoticDruid: I really hope it didn't suck! I haven't published a fanfic in so long >~<  This idea had just been swimming around in my brain forever I just had to get it out!  I got the idea from the PS5 launch party animation and seeing Launch Astarion and EA Astarion flirting just made me go okay but what if it was Ascended Astarion and Spawn Astarion?

I don't know if I will continue it. I have other things I wanna write and my ADD makes this stuff so freaking hard. But maybe maybe not 🤞🤞 

Part 2: LETS GOOOOOOO

[stubz]

"-and on that note let us discuss and review the youngling centre safety protocols. Kim, Max, any thoughts or concerns?"

"Well Calis, we'd like to make a pamphlet of sorts to be given to current and future practicum students about the key differences between species."

"Not every species, because then that'd end up being a 15 volume book," laughs and chuckles. "just key differences between predators, herbivores, omnivores, and the most common differences between species."

"That can be arranged. Anything else?"

"We have a list of things around the classroom we'd like repaired or reinforced, do you want me to read them out now or just send it to you?"

"Just send me the list and I'll get back to you before the weekend about what can and can't be done."

"Alright then, I think that's it-"

The room goes quiet as the doors open. A small youngling scampers in clutching a small bag in their claws making a beeline for first mate Calis.

"Mapa, Mapa! Look at the treats I got from the party!" they scramble onto their parent's lap, wiggling in and pushing away their documents and holopad.

"Oh um...very good Dali. They look delicious."

"Try one!"

"Maybe later my little star, Mapa is-"

"Here!" determined to share this delicious and mouthwatering treat without delay Dali crams a treat into Cails' mouth

"....very good." the whole room murmurs with giggles and coos as they watch the usually stoic first mate flush blue as their child tries to feed them more.

"Teachers try it!" tiny arms reach out as the youngling basically crawls across the large meeting room table to hand out more treats.

"Very tasty Dali!" Kim calls while walking to the meeting room door to see if Calis' mate is nearby. She gives the first mate a large grin as she passes him.

"Mmm, what is this?" with a mere scoop Max grabs the youngling off the table and places them on his knee.

"It's a mip, they're like your earth's cookies."

"Yeah they're like a coconut cookie I had." he smiles as he watches Kim bring in a giggling Gala who gives Calis a loving nuzzle much to their embarrassment.

"Dali~ You know not to come in here when mapa is having a meeting. Now let's say goodbye to everyone and wait for mapa outside with those delicious treats, alright my glorious star?" the youngling and parent give everyone a wave except for Calis who receives a kiss and hug from both their mate and child.

"...not one word from any of you." they seethe face very flushed.

"Calis, there's no need to be embarrassed. Me and Max hear from Dali all the time about how much you love them and Gala. Underneath that stoic side of you is a easily flustered romantic." the human beams.

"..."

"Kim I don't think that's what they want to hear now."

[cosalphonse]

i recently was gifted some 03 merch that i haven’t seen online and wanted to share! the two artworks on the left are somewhat transparent, i’m not sure what they’re intended to be but they are super cute! and i’m going to share some photos of the character collection below the cut - this will be a little long and photo-heavy! and disclaimer, i don’t have a scanner nor can i read japanese, so i’m just going to be sharing the pages most visually / conceptually interesting to me

our boy ed gets several pages dedicated to him, no surprise, but i really like this little collage of images with the episode numbers displayed. it also includes the iconic “love is love” thumbs up which is funny to me

al similarly gets a lot of pages dedicated to him, but this one stuck out to me as a cute comedic page - i wonder if the little red and yellow text bubbles under ed and al in the middle of the page are what they say in the scene or something original?

i really loved this collage in winry’s section! it highlights her outfits and, just like ed’s, gives us screenshots with episode numbers behind her

riza’s section has an entire page on her relationship with black hayate, which i just found delightful. i love that they include the crude sketch of him as the little thumbnail for the section lol

interestingly, hughes' section ends with this all-red page focused entirely on his death. this made me wonder, what do the book creators consider spoilers? they don't exactly shy away from the more spoilery characters later on and they pretty much document nina's story in its entirety, yet at the same time we don't get a lot of information about hoenheim, envy, or ANYTHING about the other side of the gate. so what's the cutoff here? the last ten episodes? either way, i just found it interesting

my girl sheska gets two whole pages dedicated to her! that's more than breda, havoc, maria ross, and most of the homunculi. good for her.

while i can't read what this says, i found it interesting that they put dante and lyra's pages together. i don't know if they give away the twist, but either way, they clearly knew what they were doing - even if the excuse is that they put lyra with dante since she studies under her

scar gets two whole pages!! DESERVED!! i love that they include so much of his story, especially his relationship with his brother and lust

speaking of, lust is the only homunculus to get a two page spread! they even gave us some scarlust crumbs....

just wanted to include pictures of the 03-original homunculi, it's interesting that they were put together! and once again, this brings up my questions of "what is considered spoilers"

rose also gets a two page spread!

and possibly most baffling is... CLARA gets a two page spread too? for a character who only shows up in one episode this is mind boggling to me. a lot of the 03 original characters get small highlights - archer, the tringhams, etc - but clara gets the largest spot. maybe her episode was more popular while this was being made, or the creators just really liked her, idk

well, those are all of the points of interest i wanted to highlight! if anyone has any suggestions on what they want me to share - specific characters, index information, or anything else - feel free to send me an ask! i'll put all the information under the tag #03 character collection

[actuallyevilgay]

This is a one-shot request/idea suggestion! I love the idea of Astarion and his consort redecorating the palace once the events of the game are finished. Obviously the city needs repairing, but what better place than to start with their home first? Cute things like picking out the color of the walls or deciding what rooms should be used for what. Maybe arguing over curtains or something.

Oneshot: What Remains

Ascended Astarion x male reader (tav = reader) DNI if you are a minor. Please read my about before replying. I'll upload this to my ao3 a bit later. Thank you for the request!

...................................................................................................................

You can’t tell how long you’ve been counting the hairs curling around Astarion’s ear, but it’s been some time. The light of sun down creeps through the construction site, getting more intense as it hits the paler aspects of his appearance.

He brushes and fidgets with it, tucking some strands away while he focuses on documents in his hands.

‘’The building’s barely there, and you’re pondering about.. Wallpaper?’’ You manage to get a glimpse of what he’s holding. They’re samples, in a variety of colors.

He appears startled for a second, realizing you’re not staying in the luxurious inn room you’ve been sharing for months, instead.. You’ve sneaked your way to the ruins of the crimson palace. It’s unsettling to the elf, since he’s usually fixated on your presence.

‘’The red one’s a bit too on the nose, don’t you think?’’ Astarion smiles as turns to you for a moment. His attention once more set on the remaining light in the sky.

You smirk, amused that you’ve caught him off guard.

‘’...I’m not judging, yet, but I don’t exactly see how you can be so fixated on wallpaper when the construction crew hasn’t even begun working on building a roof.’’ It’s just wood, materials, everything’s scattered about. A few lines drawn in the sand, a few holes dug. The crew itself is currently sharing a meal around a campfire.

‘’I’ve been mapping the layout in my mind, you can’t get a feel for it unless you’re walking here.’’ He gestures as he begins to trail around the markers. ‘’A nice long hallway, fitted.. Long glass windows, to let in light, but not too much.’’ He trails back towards you. ‘’Over there, a courtyard that leads to several sections of the palace itself.’’ He pauses, taking notes in his documents. ‘’Hmm, a fountain would fit the aesthetic.. But some guests might disagree with having running water so close to… Well, not that my spawn have to worry about that, it’s our estate.’’ He begins to mumble, returning to his thoughts before turning to you.

You ponder about it yourself for a moment, he keeps calling it a palace. A palace… You certainly had enough land for it to be a palace, Not a manor, not a mansion. The estate was a palace. The servants would call it their home, but its true owners would be you and Astarion. Heroes, nobility. Saviours of Baldur’s gate. Vampires.

‘’There’s a lot of land marked.. A lot more than I remember.’’

‘’Well, my treasure.. The duke was so kind as to reward us with some extra, seeing as the netherbrain blew up large portions of the city, including.. The.. Szarr estate.’’ Astarion briefly shudders at the mention of that name. ‘’Saves the trouble of taking it down myself, but now I get to be expensively creative.’’

He steps on what remains of the old office space. The elevator has been locked down and hidden with protective glamour. He traces the broken walls as he walks up to a very dusty desk. ‘’What a waste of all the champagne he had laying about.’’ 

He stress tests the wood before sitting down on it. The chair itself rests on the floor, missing a leg. Astarion’s fingers then glide towards the drawers as he peeks inside and pulls out a tiny bottle of alcohol. ‘’Unopened, too.’’ With a giddy expression he rips off the bottle’s lid and takes a whiff. ‘’My love, I think you might like this one.’’

You walk up to the desk, eyeing it with some concerns. It’s sturdy, but you don’t want to sit down and potentially ruin the moment in the event it breaks. The vampire lord gives you a playful look as you take the bottle and bring it to your lips.

‘’There’s blood in it.’’ The irony sweet flavour surprises you. You peer at the bottle, all it says is the name of what you assume is one of Cazador’s victims.. Or someone he had blood taken from. ‘’..Elven? It’s been well preserved with something..’’ You take another sip before you hand it back to Astarion. 

‘’Not familiar at all? Hmm. Interesting.’’

It takes a moment for you to realise the bottle says ‘’ancuinin’’ Which is Astarion’s last name.

‘’..Did you just feed me your 200 year old own blood?’’ 

The vampire lord bursts out laughing.

‘’..I’ve always liked your wicked side, but this is a little..’’

‘’Oh darling, if anything, I’d want you to have the last reminder of my mortal days.. I drained you myself, it’s only fair.’’ He begins to stare off in the distance, possibly possessed by some old memory. His eyes lower to the ground, he lets out a sigh.

‘’He just kept yours..?’’

‘’I figure he kept it for a special occasion, one long since passed. It’s odd, the scent is different. Out of everything, you’d think I’d recognise my own perfume? But my taste changed.’’

You casually take a swig from the bottle. Astarion grins.

‘’It is two hundred years old.. Preserved like wine.’’ You reach out with it towards him. ‘’It may be the past, still, it is part of you.’’

He looks hesitant, The earlier comfort and confidence he bore on his pale face fades as the sun goes down. His red eyes glow with unclear intent. His fingers trace your hand as he takes it.

The silence is earth shattering, he rolls the bottle in his hand. ‘’First time I saw it was when we.. Went to take my revenge.’’ The tips of his fingers trace the writing on the label.

‘’Out of all the cruel things he’s done.. This one simply.. Strikes me as odd. It could’ve been for magic purposes, or.. The blood of a family member, but no.’’

‘’When could he have taken it? Before I was gutted..? Did he scrape it off the cold stone floor, or did he take it before..’’ Astarion sighs.

‘’He possibly tried to preserve the memory, the reason for his fixation on me. And with this gone, I’ll bury that too.’’ He pauses before taking a small sip. A smile comes over his face.

‘’..I can even taste the arrogance I once had. Curious.’’

‘’Luckily it’s been replaced by this bigger, better ego.’’ You chime in, placing a hand on his cheek. 

Astarion turns his attention back to you, leaning in onto your touch, despite your reluctance to sit on the desk he pulls you onto his lap dexterously.

You audibly gasp, as the wood shakes and creaks for a moment.

Astarion doesn’t mind it though, he puts the bottle to your lips, and you take another swig.. Savoring every drop as it pours down your throat.

‘’Handsome little consort.’’ Astarion speaks in a cheeky tone, enjoying the expression on your face.

You picture the night he turned you again, climbing over you, draining you empty.. It’s almost as if your minds collide in that shared fantasy, your hands reach out to grab hold of his shoulders, he falls down with you as the table collapses under the shared weight.

He doesn’t cry out in pain, he welcomes the floor. Your lips are touching and he moans in harmony with you.

‘’..Tav..’’ He heaves, arms locking you in by the hips. He licks the blood off your lips.

You can hear the sound of the construction crew nearby, their chattering breaks you out of the moment.

Astarion lets you go and gets up on his own.

‘’Oh, no marble floors.’’ 

‘’..What?’’

‘’No marble floors, you heard me. Slippery, it stains, too.’’ You point to the blood on the carpet. ‘’It’s going to cost more to make servants clean it up or to replace it..’’

‘’What about black marble..?’’

‘’No! And I saw the note about white curtains.. That’s a no too.’’

‘’..Darling..’’

‘’Being rich doesn’t mean we should be wasteful. We should be resourceful! That’s the deal.’’

‘’A little waste is just what nobles do! And flaunt the wealth.. Like we’re-’’

‘’We’re better than that.’’

‘’What about a summer estate..? It would be-’’

‘’Astarion.’’

‘’Fine.. I’ll cut out the plans for being a spoiled nuisance for now, but you’ll change your mind soon enough.’’

You fold your arm into his as you begin to walk back towards the inn together. ‘’The silken sheets are an exception.’’ You stick out your tongue as he scoffs.

‘’Of course they are! What’s the point of them otherwise?’’ He begins to rant about different fabrics as your mind drifts towards the dusky night sky.

You’re looking forward to eternity together.

[regthomas1728]

Weekly Writing Exercise - 1

I won't date these, I'll just put them in an order that you can follow/start anytime.

To better explain these:

1.) Find a Writing Prompt: reblog your answer to the prompt. The answer should be between 3000-5000 words. Try to keep it between these, not less or more than. The goal: kind of like a Drabble, we're testing our ability to utilize good words.

2.) Find a work to edit: on Tumblr, find someone and ask if you can edit someone's work (FREE). One, make a connection. Two, you must ask permission--not everyone is sharing their work for feedback. Your goal: preserve the author's voice while editing for grammar and cohesiveness. This will help you identify problems in your own work later.

3.) Don't use filler words. You'll know these best but some good examples I've seen from others are "suddenly" which takes away the "how" you get from one action/scene to the next. Another example can be "that" or "then" which does the same thing. Avoid redundant words--don't over clarify (I do this, which is why I'm mentioning it) in more than one sentence the same thing. Your goal: make use of every word--determine how it contributes to your piece overall and if it doesn't, delete it.

4.) Add A Character: If you have enough characters in whatever WIP you're working on, then just create a character for another story or practice creating characters. Find a template (I have some reblogged) or create from scratch. Have fun with this character. Your goal: deep dive into your character. Not just appearances, how did they become who they are. Get attached.

5.) Create A Subplot: Everyone loves a good subplot--these can contribute to the plot or help develop who your character is. Or something else, I guess. This subplot can happen over one chapter or the whole story--maybe let it turn into an inside joke between two or three characters. Your goal: working with the plot and subplot.

6.) Edit Your Prompt Work: remember the first one? Responding to a writing prompt? Copy that into a document and hard core edit. If you need help doing this, reach out to me. Your goal: recognizing your writing difficulties and correct them. Rewrite and reblog your work. (Make sure you have some days between the first and second draft.)

7.) Use Writing Tip(s) You've Reblogged: check your writing tips in reblogs, or check mine, and apply one of the tips to your WIP. Either just a portion or the whole thing. Of course, find one that you think you need to work on. Your goal: improving using the advice of fellow authors.

Regine Thomas Tumblr Arse | With (His) Spunk regthomas1728@gmail.com

[altocat]

Alto how do you stay positive when so many people in this space are so negative?

As someone who regularly battles pretty severe clinical anxiety/depression, I'll tell you straight up that there are many days where I'm not as happy IRL as I seem. I have frequent lows, occasional fits of near hysterical panic. There are days where I really don't feel or want to be alive. And I have to constantly bottle it up deep inside because I don't want to worry my loved ones. This isn't a sad violin dirge or anything --it's just me being blunt and saying how things really are. I think it's important to have a realistic perspective, and to hold myself accountable in documenting what I'm feeling. Maybe I can look back at this years later and find some measure of relief. Maybe.

With all that said, this place is my coping mechanism. I love the people here. I love my growing reach, however insignificant. I love chatting with you guys and coming together over something we all love. It's my light in a dark place. So I aim to always try to make my time HERE as positive as possible. It's one of the handful of reasons I can stomach getting up in the morning, and one of the reasons why I refuse to believe things are as bad as they seem. There's great people here. Great content. People with good hearts and clever observations. I refuse to let this space be tainted the way so many other spaces are. I celebrate what I love. I explore it. I inhale it. I shut out all the bad stuff and engage with people who share my opinions. There's a great comfort in that. A safety. It's so brief and small, but it means a lot.

I won't forget the people I've met here. And the space we've cultivated here, however niche or flawed or messy. You're all worth everything. I sincerely believe that. I try my hardest every day. And I'll keep trying.

[utmv-fg]

UTMV Fighting Game Progress Update #1 - 4.13.25

A ton tbh, but not a ton to show off.

Game development just takes a long time to get out from under the boring stuff, and I haven't had a lot of time to get through an extra long boring part. I've been very busy and very tired, but I'm still cramming in a couple hours to work on this whenever I can sit up at my computer and concentrate.

The other main reason it's taking a while is because I've realized the most effective way for me to learn Game Maker is to take some of the video tutorials out there and write them down into a searchable document, making notes on what each part does to make sure I understand.

And by that, I mean doing this--

--for 20 lessons worth of material. Maybe more.

Which isn't as impossible a task as it sounds. I think the repetition really is teaching me the steps and vocabulary I'll need to navigate programming on my own. Plus, this might be proof that I'm less likely to fall victim to programming fatigue.

I've already followed an actual video tutorial with Game Maker itself (I made an extremely sloppy platformer where Frisk goomba stomps a bunch of Ink clones), but that's not quite enough to etch anything lasting into the adhd putty that is my brain.

Once all the studying is done, I'll hopefully have enough building blocks and forum post tips to stumble my way through a proof of concept build. (And I have a pretty funny idea for cutting down on sprite drawing time, involving Muybridge plates.)

I know I haven't been doing as much of the cool and fun parts of game making like sprite art, UI design, story writing, and feature development. But to be honest, it just doesn't feel like the right thing to be focusing on until I can get basic game functionality off the ground. I've watched way too many projects collapse in my day because the sprinkles outweighed the cake.

HOWEVER! I accidentally let my instagram algorithm know that I like weird industrial/improvised/custom instrument music, and now I'm swimming in it. You can check that out in the MUSIC REF/INSPO doc if you like.

Also here's the tutorial I was using if you, too, would like to lose your mind learning GMVL. It's a little outdated, but it's got some really helpful stuff in it.

Slyddar's Gamemaker DND Platformer Tutorial

I'm gonna keep the doc I'm using to study in a non-shared folder for now, only because I can't decide if it'll divert people away from his actual videos. It wouldn't be right, considering that I'd be lost without this dude in the first place. But maybe I'll change my mind. It could be more of a companion guide. I dunno.

Anyway, seeya later!