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kerwritesthings · 5 years ago

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South Of The Equator

Summary: Gestures of love are woven in the fabric of relationships, especially ones built around the priority of your love

Word Count: literally juuuuust shy of 5.8k

Warning: pining, love and fluff

Author Notes: Muse fell in love with this photo last week when Bre threw it out onto my dash, spit out stupid notes at midnight that night for it along with about 350ish words and then didn’t touch it until again yesterday evening where I proceeded to crank out about 5.8k in less than 24 hours. Oops?

This falls well later into the verse, like the latest I’ve taken it thus far. It just felt right to bring this into that part of the timeline with the premise and where the muse was taking this. Can be read as a standalone but diving into the verse and the masterlist would give a little bit more understanding.

It was not in the plans. Whatsoever. A whim. A lot of longing. A lot of missing connections. A lot of feeling that this was a sync you just wouldn’t be able to get. That scares the both of you, more than either of you will let on especially to the other. You both promise that this would be the longest stretch on this very last swing – something like 48 or 50 days depending on travel for both of you, that a somewhere between 12 and 14-hour plane ride at best for a long weekend made no sense. You’re in Bucharest when he starts the swing in Mexico. What was thought to be a few days off for him to come home to see you between the last Mexico show and the venture further south becomes non-existent, with surprise pop up concerts in both Costa Rica and Panama along with hoopla surrounding them on either side that the label drops last minute. You initially think you’d be able to make the last shows, but there was a potential work trip to Hong Kong hanging over your head, so you both agree not book anything.

Well, love makes you do some stupid and irresponsibly crazy things. When the Asia client pushes their timeline back, things change completely. Which is why you find yourself on the phone, trying to make arrangements while juggling 7 open browser tabs on your laptop at nearly 1am. This is what you do for each other. It’s been established. It’s been done for each other on numerous occasions throughout your relationship. But it’s never been something like this. This grand and involved.

“Up for a bit of a challenge?” you start. “What’s the actual schedule like between Buenos and Rio and Santiago?”

“Flip it around. Chile first. Then Buenos then Sao Paulo. Finish off in Rio,” Beatriz laughs. “Don’t book the wrong flight. Cause. This is where it’s going isn’t it? This bugger is so lucky to have you. He best appreciate this. He’s been whiny. More to Cez then me. Andrew too, but he trusts Cez more when it comes to you.”

“He’s not the only one,” you sigh. “Dee’s taken to sending me videos and photos of Tali every day before I call to bitch to her to try to ease my tension. We’ve done longer, when we first got together. This one though. We’re just not taking it well, either of us. It feels off. He can’t come to me, so I have to go to him.”

“There’s doubles now in Santiago, not just in Buenos and Rio. Only the one in Sao Paulo. Days off scattered through, but definitely some between the city jumps. Are you really going to try to do just a weekend down here?” she asks.

“Work remote if I can swing it. Then bank out on some time off. I’m due after the extra hours to lock in the Danish project and the haul to Bucharest for basically a 48-hour lookie loo from them with no commitments. Boss lady is great as long as my work gets done and I don’t pull the ask for ‘but my famous boyfriend’ very often, if at all,” you explain, poking away at the keys of your laptop.

“Ooh Denmark, so you going to get out for that one?” Beatriz questions. “Do you have a lam for this tour? Should we get you another?”

“I think I can, timing looks ok and I may be able to drag Shawn with me for once since it’s after all this hoopla,” you mutter, poking at Kayak and cursing. “I think I do, snag one just in case if it’s not too much trouble. It looks like Air Canada has a direct from Pearson to Santiago at 11 hours of flight time and an overnight red-eye. Bless it. No layovers. Less chance for him to even let on. Y’all can sneak me in on the flights between yeah?”

“Shawn is gonna shit you know this right?” she laughs. “I heard about your surprises you both have pulled on each other before, but this is something else. Duh girl, yes of course. He’d have you sit on his lap the whole flight if he had to, but we definitely have the room. Give me the flight info. I’ll make Cez book it. Do not even think about clicking that buy button that I know you’re hovering over.”

“Bea...” you begin.

“No, not hearing it. Cez blocked out travel budget for him to go home and you know that didn’t happen, so your flight there and then back with him at the end it is instead,” Beatriz interjects. “I’ll loop in C for sure. Maybe Andrew. Less folks who know the better, we need to keep this on lock down.”

“Beatriz, you’re the best. I owe you big time. I’m so glad you’re on this rag tag motley crew,” you thank her. “Let Cez know if he needs anything when he’s booking, if they don’t have it saved to just let me know.”

“Bottle of Bulleit and you finally spill the recipe for those kitchen sink bars the boys are always raving about and inhaling, we’ll call it even,” she deadpans. “But no really, I’m glad to help. As much as I tease that boy of yours, I’ve got a soft spot for him. We need to figure an epic reveal. It’s late. I’ll fire off a text to Cez and we’ll be on it tomorrow. Off with you. Night!”

You have a week between that call and your flight down to get all your things in order luckily. Work is understanding and accommodating, your boss practically sending out the out of office email for you after she hears your plans. He meanwhile has a few shows in Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia ahead of him within that same time frame.

“There’s that face I adore,” you smile through FaceTime as you’re tucked in bed, two nights before you’re due to leave. “Hi you. How was the show? Where are you now?”

“Just out of the shower in the hotel and about to fall face first into bed, but I needed a dose of my pretty girl before I do,” he exhales, running a hand though his mess of wet curls. “Good, crowds down here are something else. Beyond the first time I swung through, on the last tour. And them singing back in perfect English still breaks my brain a little. Tired though. Looking forward to the break. Day break here, then like a half one off in Santiago before the last few shows. It’s so crazy to think we’re there already.”

“I can’t believe it’s almost over,” you murmur. “You did it baby, an entire circle of the globe. I’m beyond proud of you.”

“As much as I love this, I’m ready for just me, you and our bed. At least for a week straight, if not a few of them,” he chuckles. “Remind me of how tired I am now when I start to say I’m twitchy or bored, ok?”

“If you say so,” you say sleepily. “Just remember, I get to drag you with me on some my work trips next. Denmark for sure. Hong Kong perhaps since that’s still a moving target. Maybe Prague. Wanna be a silly romantic tourist with you for a bit. Just me and you”

“Always me and you, sweetheart. Go get some sleep. You’ve got work in the morning,” he whispers. “We can talk more tomorrow, promise.”

“You sure?” you fight back a yawn, eyes starting to flutter. “Can you sing to me though? Please? I miss you. Be like you’re here.”

He starts humming at first, the eases into a slowed down, Shawn-esque version of Sam Smith’s Latch. You want to stay awake to hear the whole thing, but he sounds like he’s there singing it right into your ear while he’s got your back against his chest. It’s so pretty, easy and dream like that you drift off in moments. He watches you for a few minutes after he finishes the song, making sure you’re truly asleep. Plus, he just wants to feel like he’s next to you in bed.

“Goodnight and sleep well, baby,” he whispers before disconnecting from FaceTime, a small smile slipping across his lips.

“He still has no clue by the way, so you’ve done a bang-up job,” Cez explains as he rings you while you’re in the car on the way to Pearson. “You’re still running on time from what we checked so you’re good. We’ve got everything square. Bea will come snag you from the airport, you’ll have time to hit the hotel, she’ll have the extra room key for you so you can get some actual rest and then get ready. Figure we’ll grab you while he’s doing Q&A. Do you want to surprise him before the show? After?”

“During?” you laugh, leaning your head back against the headrest as the car makes its way down the 401. “Maximum effect. Con would be on my side too you know, epic footage.”

“Of course, you do,” he retorts. “I should have known. Don’t forget, I’m on your side too. I’m glad this worked. I know it’s been a long stretch. For the both of you. I’ve seen it wear on him, but he’s put up a good front minus a few nights where he ends up with me until he needs to get to sleep, just needing someone who understands to talk to.”

“I’m glad he has you, that we both have you. You are a gift, Cez, really,” you reply as the car slows to ease up to the terminal. “I’m just about to hop out. I’ll text you and Bea when I land in the morning, customs will probably take a bit to get through. Thank you again.”

“Fly safe, dear. Try to get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow,” he responds.

Check in was easy, of course they went above and beyond on the flight. You text Cez and Bea a photo of a cookie from the lounge with your ticket telling them they did not need to and thanking them. Cez responds first.

Again, you know if he found out we flew you like in row 24 on a flight that long, he would pitch a fit. I’m not up for a Shawn fit this late into the last of the last legs of tour. Enjoy the space and the lay flat. Sunshine and that boy awaits you.

Beatriz chimes in next.

Label owes you and the pain in the arse, so enjoy it! Have one for me. I’ll be there for you tomorrow with bells on and a tea in hand. Cannot wait for this – so epic. You two are nauseatingly adorbs.

The flight wasn’t crowded thankfully and the room to stretch fully is a welcome bonus. You are able to wind down a lot easier than expected and get a decent amount of sleep especially given it was on a flight, lay flat or not. Despite an extra circle, you land only a few minutes past your initial arrival time, make it through customs quickly and thankfully your luggage is waiting for you once you’re done.

“There she is,” Beatriz calls out as you head out to the open concourse. “And in one piece too with all your bits and bobbles. Good, the boss won’t be angry. And as promised, your tea!”

“Which one?” you chuckle, snagging the iced chai before hugging her.

“I can handle Cez, your man though,” she rolls her eyes as you walk out to the sprinter van. “He tried you last night when we were coming back from dinner, couldn’t get through even though we all told him it was late. He got all sad puppy. You were just about taking off, so it made sense. If he only knew what today is bringing him. I’ll drop you at the hotel, sleep, shower, eat, do whatever. I’ll be round to grab you about 4.”

As soon as you step into his room, you are overwhelmed just by the sheer sense of being back in his space again, despite him not even being there at the moment. You drop your suitcase, strip and crawl immediately into his still unmade bed to surround yourself in the smell of him. Setting your alarm before you drift off, you curl yourself around his pillow and exhale. Only a few more hours and you’ll be able to wrap your arms around him instead of a goose down that carries whiffs of his scent. A deep breath, an inhale you hold just for a moment before letting it go carefully and you’re drifting away.

You wake shortly before the alarm and to a couple texts from Shawn.

Miss you pretty girl. Almost there.

FaceTime after the show tonight? Even just for a few, I can tuck you in from here again like the other night.

Saw this on the drive over before, couldn’t help but think of you.

It was a slightly angled photo out the car window, but it was of a park with a fountain surrounded by high bushes littered with flowers.

I wish I could press you into those blooms and kiss you. Would make such a pretty picture. Love you baby.

You will yourself not to cry. That sweet, sentimental boy of yours. You’ll have time, you need to make that happen tomorrow.

I miss you sweetheart, so much. Yes to tonight, I’d love a tuck in from you. We’re so close. Love you <3

A shower, some primping and a good battle with both your blow dryer and your travel steamer later, you’re finally ready to head out.

“He’s a lucky bastard this one,” Beatriz whistles before handing over your new credential as you slide the van door closed behind you. “Don’t you have any sisters you can send my way? Cousins?”

“Sorry Bea, only child,” you laugh, as the van pulls away. “Cousins are stateside and not your type.”

“He was happy to hear from you before. Stopped in the middle of sound check to look at his phone. Got all stupid smiley and googly eyed,” she rolls her eyes. “He’s so gone on you if it wasn’t so bloody sweet to see him so gushy, it would make me ill.”

“Just wait ‘till later. I should apologize now,” you explain.

“Why there’s no plans for post-show, dearie. We knew better,” she giggles. “Shawn’s not going to want to share.”

You can’t help but smile as you pass the park he sent you the photo of earlier, it’s prettier than his shot let on. You definitely have to go there tomorrow. From that point, it’s a windy way through the streets of Santiago to the arena.

“He should just be wrapping up,” Beatriz prattles, looking at her watch as you make your way through the bowels of the building. “Which is good, I can sneak you into Cez’s room without him sniffing about. You, he, Jake and Con still need to hash everything out yeah?”

“Kind of. It’s the fine tuning of details at this point,” you say, flipping the pass around in your hands before slipping it around your neck as you walk, still not fully grasping you’re going to see him as soon as you are. “It’s a matter of where to go in the pit during his walk up to stage where I won’t be spotted too easily, but also not be in the way of everything either. I think it’ll work, totally up to Jake though. Worse case, we’ll do it just before rally or he hits the stage. Better visuals, and Con will agree with me, but it’s Jake and Cez who have final call.”

“It’s brilliant, all of it. However, here is where I leave you for now,” Beatriz nudges you through the door into Cez’s makeshift office for the next two days. “Need to make sure the sound techs have everything. Fridge is stocked, so steal what you need. He should be back in a few. They’re due to be walking your man now. His room isn’t far, so stay put. I’ll let C know you’re here. Toodles!”

Shortly after you settle in on the couch, engrossing yourself in your inbox, you feel someone settle down next to you.

“Thank god you’re here, I cannot do the sad Shawn shit anymore,” Connor sighs, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “I love him like a brother but damn, this go has been a beast when he’s feeling it like that.”

“Hi Connor, I’ve missed you too Connor, it’s good to see you Connor,” you roll your eyes, pushing his arm off you with a poke.

“Yeah yeah, all that too,” he smiles, sliding his arm back into place and kissing your cheek. “It’s good to have you here, all that aside. Despite all that, missed you around these parts.”

“Considering Central America took away our long weekend together, with no warning. It’s just been a hard go this swing. For both of us. May just be the wear and tear of a tour this long finally hitting. Even with as much as we’ve made it a priority to stay more connected and grounded. You guys are lucky it’s the end and it didn’t happen in like the middle of Europe, or the US leg. Though that would have been easier to get to than an almost 11-hour flight,” you fight out.

“You’re too good for him you know?” he teases. “Remember, he has friends if you ever need to bail.”

“Not any of y’all that’s for sure. No way. And, it’s the other way around, Con,” you reply, poking at his knee. “So, you’ve seen the setup, what’s going to make the most sense?”

“We’re going to do whatever you want, missus,” Jake chimes in as the door shuts behind him and Cez. “Only thing I require is a hug.”

“I think that can be arranged,” you say happily, ducking around Connor to get to Jake. “Con, stop being in the way.”

“Thank you,” you murmur to Jake as he pulls you into an embrace.

“We should be thanking you,” he whispers hugging you tightly. “And seriously. We’ll make it all happen. Kid needs this as much as you do.”

You pull away, smiling. “Ok guys so here’s what I’m thinking. Let’s surprise him on the walk out.”

The details come together quickly as well as easily. You’re happy, the team is comfortable with it all. It also helps he’s not expecting a thing. Everyone’s on board.

“So,” Cez begins, rolling a bottle of water around in his hands as everyone else filters out. “Hop a flight on a whim in the states or Canada is one thing. Cross the pond, a little more effort, but doable. This is something else entirely, even for the two of you.”

“I don’t know why this one is so different; I wish I knew; believe me I do. It would have saved me an 11-hour flight,” you utter. “It’s not like we’ve not done it before. We got through this, worse even, when he went out on last leg of the last tour and I had no leverage to take time off to come out other than that last show. We were only together a little bit at that point.”

Cez smiles his all-knowing smile, looking down at your hands playing with your credential. “I think you do, somewhere in there. I think he does too, well I know he does.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask inquisitively. “We’re good, really good. Minus this blip and it’s just us being a little more emotionally wound together. More in the groove than we’ve ever been. It’s been great, actually.”

He smiles yet again, making you wonder even more, and picks up his hand pointing to a certain finger.

“No,” you shake your head.

He nods, still smiling. “You’re practically there already. We were honestly all surprised it didn’t happen before tour, or at break. Especially after Japan. I knew though not the holidays, it’s too cliché and not him, or you. He’s asked me a few things, more recently. Won’t give away more than that, but it kind of all makes sense. At least to me.”

“I just. Like. Shit Cez,” you sigh, looking down at the lam in your hands. “We’ve talked about it before, couple times. We want it, both of us. He’s it for me, and vice versa. He knows I’ll say yes. I’ve told him as much. But I’m also not that girl that needs the pretty on her hand to know where we stand in our relationship. He’s also not that overly possessive man who needs to prove he’s got me like that to the world, even in his crazy whirlwind of a life.”

“I think it’s both of you really ready for what’s next and this just all happens to be in the way right now. But, you’re here now, which not only is he going to be over the moon about, the rest of us are pretty happy as well. Not just because he’ll be in better spirits, it’s because we love you just as much too,” he states plainly. “You’re as much a part of this, a part of the family. I’m personally glad you’re here for these last few. This run’s been special, you should be here for the end of it.”

“Do not make me ruin my makeup, damnit,” you half laugh, half bite back a sob. “I’m so glad he has you, not just on the road, but in general. I know how much he loves you. I do, too.”

His phone pings rapidly.

“Ten-minute warning for fetching him. Let’s go get you out and set. Phil’s on you until Jake walks out with Shawn,” he states, reaching for his headset in one hand, for you with his other.

You carefully walk down the back hallway towards the stage together. Jake and Phil meet you at the back corner of the build out. Jake hands you off a fresh pair of earplugs.

“You’re going to need these,” he reminds you. “It’s his usual walk, so he won’t expect a thing. Especially seeing Phil at that junction of the barricade, once Phil gets the signal from me that we’re going, he’ll shift behind you so Shawn can spot you.”

You throw him a thumbs up as you wedge the plugs into place. Phil takes your arm in his, his other hand patting your forearm.

“Let’s go surprise him,” he says, leading you out to the pit.

For some reason, probably your conversation with Cez if you’re being honest with yourself, has your stomach set off with butterflies. You��ve not been like this since the early days of your relationship. Excited, always. Happy, without a doubt. Nervous though? No. You try to not shift about, instead closing your eyes to take in the moment. The crowd is loud, you can smell the remnants of the smoke machine test earlier lingering in the air.

Phil taps your shoulder, sliding you into place in front of him.

“He’s walking,” he mouths with a wink.

The house lights come down and the stage lights start to just warm. You exhale and lean back onto Phil slightly, whose hands come to rest comfortably on your shoulders. The opening video starts to roll and the lights hit the pit walk so you know you’ve got about 30 seconds at best before he comes into view. Phil pushes you forward just a touch just as you spot Jake and Shawn with Connor shuffling just behind to get the right angle for the surprise.

He’s in his pre-show zone, not taking in much around him. Jake nudges him though and his eyes shoot up. Shawn looks over towards you, taking a moment for things to register, and when it does his smile is as bright as you’ve seen. His eyes grow wide, he turns to Jake, who nods with a grin and then Shawn takes off in a sprint.

“Surprise!” you try to scream, but he’s already got you in his hold lifting you to swing you around.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming, please,” he utters in your ear before pulling you closer, finally getting you back on your feet.

You slide your hands from his shoulders, one to the nape of his neck fingering the wispy curls there, the other to nudge his one in-ear out.

“Not a dream, baby. Very much here, very much real. You got me for the rest of the run, love,” you say directly into his ear. “Go be my Rockstar. I’ll watch side stage, be there waiting for you after the show.”

You pop his in-ear back into place then cup his cheek, watching his eyes roll back slightly.

“I love you so damn much,” he yells before kissing you soundly. “I am so lucky you’re mine.”

Shawn rubs his nose against yours before sneaking in another kiss, then runs up to the stage with Jake on his heels. Jake winks as he passes, throwing a double thumbs up before Phil takes you towards the back staircase so you can set up on the rolling case you know is waiting for you.

The show is electric as always, but he’s got a special energy tonight. You can’t help but feel a bit happy as to probably being the reason why. He’s smiling, sweaty and disheveled, running back towards you in the break before the encore.

“You’re a mess,” you quip with a smile, handing him a bottle of water and a towel.

“Never minded that before,” he retorts back, running a hand through the mess of his hair after wiping his face down with the towel.

“Not the place Shawn Peter,” you say, shooing him away. “Go finish, I’m not going anywhere.”

He drops the water bottle down on the case next to you, stealing another kiss before bopping his way back out.

You hop off the case and head out towards the curtain line to get a better view. His encore covers have been something else this tour. He’s been leaning hard into Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’ and it’s a stunner, especially just him and the piano.

“I had a surprise tonight delivered to me just before the show, a really amazing one actually,” he begins as he settles into playing the piano. “So, if you all don’t mind, I’m going to play something a little special before I get into my last two songs.”

Once he hits the first few chords, your jaw drops immediately.

“You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down. You, you enchant me, even when you're not around. If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down. I'm latching on babe now I know what I have found,” he sings and you can’t help but inch closer to the edge as far as you can go without being spotted or seen. “I feel we're close enough, I wanna lock in your love. I think we're close enough, could I lock in your love, baby? Now I got you in my space, I won't let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace; I'm latching on to you.”

You didn’t expect this the other night, so you very much don’t expect it tonight. You can’t do anything but watch him, enamored and amazed. He sounds breathtaking. The whole song just gives you goosebumps, especially in a setting like this. Damn this boy.

“Thanks for indulging me tonight, Santiago,” he says and you can see the flush spreading across his cheeks, even from there. He immediately segues into Free Fallin’ to get his encore moving, before finishing completely with If I Can’t Have You.

He’s got a hold of your hands the moment he’s out of sight of the audience.

“Did you like it?” he asks, dipping his head down to kiss you, feather soft.

“Love it, love you,” you reply, dusting kisses across his knuckles. “Come on, let’s get you back there before they start to think we’re defiling a case on the stage.”

He chuckles, tangling his fingers deeper with yours before leading you towards his dressing room. As you hit the main hallway, most of the band and the crew are waiting there and start whooping and clapping the moment the two of you come into view.

“What the hell?” you question, as he holds your hand tighter trying to make your way down the hall. He shakes his head, cheeks pink as he bites his bottom lip.

“Hold up,” Jake stops you both just before the doorway to his room, arms crossing against his chest and a shit eating grin spread across his face. “Believe you owe this lady a thank you.”

“Hello, the song, on stage, the encore? In front of the whole damn audience,” he retorts, running his free hand through his curls before tugging you towards him and the door without getting you covered in post-show sweat. “Now I’d like to shower, get the heck out of here so I can spend some time with her. Without an audience.”

You can hear the snickers and wolf whistles, it’s your turn to flush. Jake shakes his head no.

“You know what you assholes, fine,” Shawn sighs before rolling his eyes.

“Don’t even with me kid,” Jake smirks.

“I know what you’re…” he trails off but tugs your hand, so you stand closer to him. “Shit. C’mere baby.”

The next thing you know he’s cupping your neck and kissing the breath straight out of you. Your hands fly up, one gripping his shoulder the other tangling in his hair. He pulls away first, just as breathless as you’re feeling.

“You all happy now? Can I please get into my room?” he asks.

Jake moves aside, patting him on the shoulder. He snatches your hand and tugs you into the room, shutting and locking the door behind you both.

“Do I even want to know?” you say, leaning back against the door as he toes off his boots.

“Grander the gesture, bigger the thank you,” he replies, stripping off his button down next, his tank and jeans follow. “They like to tease, you know this. Especially when you and I start getting the way we do. It’s all in good fun, but not when you pull the most epic surprise and I’ve run through a whole damn show. I haven’t seen you in how long and I still haven’t really held you or loved on you the way I want to.”

“Then you best go shower, sweetheart,” you tease. “You know feeling is mutual.”

He darts over to kiss you again, “Be right back.”

He’s quick, which you appreciate, and even more that he’s just in a pair of threadbare, low slung navy sweats when he heads back out to you. He drops the towel in his hand to snag yours, pulling you towards the couch. He flops down first and pulls you immediately down on top of him. He kisses your forehead before scooting you down so your head can rest comfortably on his shoulder. He smells fresh, clean, warm, like him and like home.

“Hi baby,” he murmurs against your lips before kissing you slowly and thoroughly. “Fuck, how I missed you. I can’t believe you’re here. I’m so damn happy that you’re here. You’re amazing you know that? How did you pull this off?”

“Once Hong Kong pushed timeline, I had a little wiggle room, but I wouldn’t be sure until Denmark signed off,” you explain, finger carefully tracing back and forth against his collarbone and shoulder. “I didn’t want to get either of our hopes up, so I didn’t say anything. Then like a week and a half ago? That night we just couldn’t get timing together I think you were in Panama still. I was up and cranky at stupid o’clock, said screw it. I knew I had some comp time due, had a little vacation time left, plus after Bucharest debacle on their part, they kind of owe me to boot. Called Bea, looped in Cez and voila.”

“You’re making it harder to even come remotely close to do for you what you do for me,” he presses his lips against your hair. “I’m so grateful for you.”

“There’s not a tally, sweetheart. We do for each other, you know this,” you remind him. “You and me, always right?”

There’s a knock on the door and jingling of keys, you go to move but Shawn holds you to him.

“Just gonna be C, we’re not doing anything. You stay put,” he wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzles your ear.

“Sorry kids, time to get a move on,” Cez calls out from the doorway. “Can I come in? Are you at least PG?”

“It’s cuddling man, that’s all,” Shawn barks out with a laugh as you bury your head into his neck.

“You’ve got about 10 minutes to get yourselves together before the sprinter gets here,” he reminds you both. “We’ve got a curfew in the building overall, so we can’t be late on this one.”

“I’ll make sure he’s ready,” you reply, trying to wiggle out of his hold. “Let’s go, you. Need to get your stuff together. Can’t be late.”

“Listen to your girl, Shawn,” Cez remarks. “She’s right. Plus, you’ll be free of us and interruptions once you’re back at the hotel. Late call tomorrow since we’re already set here. I’m leaving the door unlocked and open so no funny bunny ok?”

“Thanks, Cez. See you in a few,” you say, trying to nudge at Shawn.

“You know that means we can go to that park in the morning,” you whisper, kissing his chin once Cez is back out in the hallway. “Upsy daisy dear.”

He sighs dramatically, but with a smile, “Only if you promise a little morning love, breakfast in bed and that park in the morning.”

“You drive such a hard bargain,” you giggle. “It’s a deal.”

He kisses you quickly and loudly before sitting up with you still in his hold, “I can’t wait to get you alone alone tonight.”

“Which would be sooner if you got a move on,” you roll your eyes, poking at his chest while his hands palm you ass.

He stops for a moment though, looks at you softly while not taking his eyes off of you.

“Love you pretty girl,” he declares, hand pushing stray strands of your hair away from your cheek, before holding it in his palm.

“Love you too, Shawn.”

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes stories #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fluff

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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January 8, 2021: The English Patient (1996) (Part 1)

Y’know, it’s weird. I distinctly remember the existence of this film as a kid, because of references made to it in pop culture...but I remember neither the film itself, nor the actual references. The film I’ve never seen, and the references are probably lost to time. This month has been a test of my memory, I guess.

However, the reason for this film’s notoriety in the ‘90s isn’t exactly a mystery, as it won 9 Academy Awards. Yeah. NINE, out of TWELVE NOMINATIONS. And this would FINALLY be a good time to mention something; something I should’ve said a LONG time ago. The Oscars...kinda suck. Yeah, they aren’t to be used as a bastion of quality when it comes to film.

And yet, to win as many awards as this film did...there’s gotta be something there, right? Well, let’s find out, shall we? Let’s jump in to the desert and World War II! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

The starting days of World War II. A prop plane flies over the Sahara, and a group of German soldiers shoot it down setting the pilot ablaze, and almost certainly killing his passenger in the process. The pilot survives, horrifically burned, and he’s found and cared for by a group of Bedouin nomads

Meanwhile, Hana (Juliet Binche), a Canadian nurse, cares for patients, and finds out that her love has died in battle. Amongst all this, we flash forward to the beaches of Italy in 1943, where Hana is now caring for the amnesiac pilot, the Hungarian Count Almásy (Ralph Fiennes). As they move camp alongside the rest of the camp, Hana’s friends inexplicably die when their vehicle hits a landmine in the road. Damn, this is an unlucky lady.

She seems to echo these sentiments, declaring herself cursed. She spots an empty monastery, probably bombed at some point, and asks for permission to stay behind and care for Almásy there. She’s given it, to the reluctance of her commanders, and two two move in for the long haul.

Hana scours the monastery, and finds a library stacked with books, as well as a plum orchard. As she speaks with Almásy, we discover he’s a well-read man, with his only possession being a copy of Herodotus’ Histories, a classic Greek text from which we get many stories, real and fictional. But in the book...are memories...

Flashback! The Bedouin from earlier is speaking with Almásy in the desert, and he gets information of a landmark far away. An cartographer and archaeologist, he is in Egypt as a part of a pre-war expedition with the Royal Geographic Society. Their task is to map the Sahara, using a prop plane to do so from the air. He’s joined by Geoffrey Clifton (Colin Firth), his wife Katherine (Kristin Scott Thomas), and his friend Madox (Julian Wadham).

That night, in the present and the past, Hana and Katherine both recall a story of Herodotus, one of the ancient king Candaules, his queen Nyssia, and his assassin Gyges. The next day, in the present, Hana meets a neighbor back in Canada (where she lives normally), David Caravaggio (Willem Dafoe). The thumbless Intelligence Agent asks to be allowed to stay, which Hana allows.

However, it would appear that Caravaggio is there for another reason, and he begins to interrogate Almásy, also revealing his name. This leads, of course, to a flashback, during which the Count clashes with Katherine a bit in a marketplace. However, that night, the two dance at a party, and it’s revealed that he may care for her more than expected. And who knows; that might be reciprocated.

In the present, Hana breaks down in sorrow, having lost a bunch of people. Caravaggio tries to comfort her, and it’s revealed that Almásy might actually be the person who removed Caravaggio’s thumbs, and that Caravaggio believes that Almásy actually remembers everything.

The next morning, in flashback, Geoffrey Clifton leaves the desert, as well as Katherine. While the Count shows some concern, Geoffrey brushes it off, saying that she loves the desert. In the present, the monastery group is now joined by another member, Kip (Naveen Andrews), a Sikh mine-sweeper, who asks them to leave the monastery. Still, he and his sargeant, Hardy (Kevin Whately) stay there as well, as Germans have been spotted in the area.

Flashback once again, and Katherine and the Count become a bit closer as they continue to survey the desert. While stopped, Almásy discovers a cave covered in hieroglyphics, one of which we actually saw painted during the opening credits of the film. This is a real archeological site, called the Cave of Swimmers! Also means that the group is currently in Libya. Neat! And while this is an important discovery, the day ends poorly, as they overturn a car and wrecking it in the middle of the Sahara.

Almásy stays behind and sets up camp, surprisingly accompanied by Katherine. She kindly offers to him paintings of the hieroglyphics, but he coldly refuses them. She storms off. And SPEAKING of storms, they’re in the desert. She quickly comes back once a massive sandstorm hits the camp, and the two take refuge within the wrecked car.

Buried in the car, the two really begin to bond, as Almásy recounts different types of wind. But Katherine seems to be taken by the more open and caring side of him, somehow opened up by the storm. The next morning, they wake up a bit too late, and are missed by their returning friends until nightfall. In the process, it’s discovered that Almásy‘s actually been harboring affections for Katherine quite a while, and she finds this out by reading entries in his journal.

In the present, Hana appears to be falling for Kip, who may or may not be feeling the same; it isn’t made especially clear as of yet. Back in the past, Almásy returns to acting cold towards Katherine, most likely to allow her to preserve her marriage, as she begins to feel the same towards him.

Here’s the problem, though: he still has sand in his hair.

Yeah, so, I couldn’t find good footage or a GIF of it, but they go the fuck AT it, lemme tell you. It’s a very passionate beginning, but that leads to a solemn end, as the two realize that she’s married, and he’s not a big fan of commitment. And so, they part ways.

Not that it matters, because after their one-shot love affair, neither of them can truly forget. Christmastime is here, and Katherine is serving as a nurse. However, she’s soon the one getting a check-uNo. No. That was terrible, holy shit...

Lemme tell you one thing: this movie is pretty good at partially concealed yet highly passionate love scenes. However, they almost get caught, when it’s revealed that Santa at the party is actually Geoffrey. Katherine confesses to him that she’s tired of the desert, but they’re stranded there at the moment, due to the impending World War II.

Which, I think, is a good place to pause. Only at the halfway mark of this long, LONG movie. See you in Part 2!

#the english patient #anthony minghella #ralph fiennes #juliette binoche #willem dafoe #kristin scott thomas #naveen andrews #colin firth #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #romance february #usercori

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incoherentbabblings · 5 years ago

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Take Back the Cake, Burn the Shoes, and Boil the Rice (4/11)

Within two months there have been two murders of Gotham newlyweds moments after the ceremony. The only connecting factor was both brides wore the same designer’s work. Needing to establish who exactly is behind the crimes, Bruce enlists Tim and Stephanie to have the biggest wedding Gotham high society has seen in decades, putting a target on their heads not just for the killer, but Gotham society too. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Ao3 Link Here!

Tim had no idea there was such a market for wedding planners. He imagined most people planned it themselves. Stephanie had made the very valid point that neither of them had time. Apparently, because she maybe still hated herself a little, she chose possibly the most ridiculous looking woman who came at an equally ridiculous price tag.

“Why’d you choose her?” Tim asked, as the two paced back and forth in one of the drawing rooms of Wayne Manor.

Stephanie was picking a hanging nail. “She had stupid glasses.” She muttered. “Her website screamed ostentatious. That’s what we want right?”

“Well yeah but –”

Alfred opened the door for Mrs van Dijk, and Tim couldn’t help but mutter a curse at the sight of her. Stephanie caught Alfred’s face as he shut the door, to which she noted he seemed quite relieved to be rid of the woman.

Bottle eyed didn’t do it justice. Her glasses seemed an inch thick, and they took up half her face. Humongous brown pupils peered through at Tim as Stephanie very quickly made her way over to him, holding onto his shirt and showing off the ring. Mrs van Dijk’s clothes were seemingly made from rags, and various bits draped across the floor. Her nose was tiny, upturned and pointy. Her teeth were too big for her mouth. She grinned maniacally at the sight of the young couple. She herself somehow looked sixty and thirty at the same time.

Stephanie had picked a winner surely.

“Oh, how happy I am to meet you! I thought for sure I was being pranked when you rang me!” She looked and wandered around the room, utterly fascinated. “And at Wayne Manor no less. I am the luckiest person in the world… Do you mind if I just put my bags here?” The four assorted totes and satchels and rucksacks seemed a bit excessive to Tim, but he nodded, not quite sure what to say. She slapped them down with a delighted squeal.

Nails on a chalkboard. Tim smiled, baring his teeth as they clenched together uncomfortably. Stephanie stepped in, being on the ball for once.

“Thank you for agreeing to help us! And on such short notice too.”

“It’s going to be a rush to get everything done in time.” Tim confirmed.

They all sat down, but then Mrs van Dijk decided she was too far away and stood up. She settled in between Tim and Stephanie, both of whom flinched at having a stranger be so close. They flinched again when she took a hand each and tugged them onto her lap, a little pile of happy hands. Happy sweaty hands. Tim shivered up his spine, and Stephanie’s left leg spasmed at the uncomfortableness of it all.

“I have had a think the past two days.” Van Dijk said earnestly. “You said, Stephanie, you wanted the grandest wedding Wayne money could provide.”

“Yup.”

“I am going to work a little unconventionally. A little traditionally. But you two are the most important clients of my career. I will give you the world.”

“…Thanks.” Tim responded lamely.

“In my thoughts, I see the Cathedral.”

Neither Tim nor Steph were religious.

“I see gold and white.”

Neither were colours they wore nor sought out.

“Carnations for flowers.”

Carnations were for funerals. Tim and Stephanie knew this very well.

“I see the reception here, in the gardens.”

The weather was never good enough to guarantee any event outside.

“And your gown…”

There, Stephanie could not cave in. “I want Rebecca Andrews.”

“Oop! Pardon?” By now word had spread that she was a cursed designer.

“I have my heart set on her you see… Ever since I was younger.”

“…But I… I brought books!” She threw their hands off her lap, Tim rubbing his freed palm against his trousers as the woman fumbled through the tote, tugging out three lever arch files.

“Oh wow… you really prepped for this.”

“I told you! I will give you the world.” And then she sat down, tossing one folder to Tim, and one to Stephanie. Slapping her own open, Mrs van Rijk flipped through pages until she found examples to show Stephanie.

“See? Oh, Mr Wayne wouldn’t you die to see her in this?”

Tim struggled not to swear. “Oh boy.” He said instead.

That seemed too many ruffles for one human body.

Stephanie blinked, and agreed. “No no. I’m sorry, but this is the one area I must put my foot down.”

“…Even though…”

Stephanie smiled reassuringly, and confirmed, “Even though.”

Mrs van Rijk stared at the huge taffeta construction and sighed sadly. “One day I will get a bride in one of these… Nevermind. I will arrange an appointment with Ms Andrews. Funny lady that one.” As she put the folders back, Tim shot Stephanie a look which amounted to kettle meet pot.

Otherwise, they went with whatever this lady suggested. The only thing both Tim and Steph genuinely liked the idea of was a lemon cake rather than a fruit cake. They told themselves that because it maybe wasn’t even going to reach the altar, what they wanted didn’t really matter. Details were details. What mattered was ensuring they were a target.

Stephanie proceeded to go on a coffee date with Cassandra, who gave the evils in her characteristic manner to anyone creeping to close, and a trip to the arcade with Damian, who grumbled and pretended to shoot a photographer with one of the guns for a zombie shooting game, until Stephanie called him over with the food she had bought him. Tim uploaded an old photograph of them when they were fifteen to his social media pages. Bruce mysteriously went to visit Crystal’s hospital when she was on shift, ensuring that she was seen chatting the Mr Wayne. The picture that went in the news was not the most flattering of Mrs Brown – her expression was nothing short of mystified and in awe that Gotham’s favourite child was talking to her – but it served the same goal as the other outings.

The family was doing everything they could to prove that Stephanie was not just someone out of the blue who had stepped into the role of fiancée for Tim. She was a Gotham girl through and through, her mother worked an admirable job, she was known by the family and spent time with them independent of Tim…Older photos began to be circulated. Old school photos when they both attended Gotham Heights were circulated, as was the fact that she was a student in her final year of Gotham College who volunteered at the clinic on Park Row, just around the corner from Tim’s social housing redevelopment project.

Don’t think of this girl as an upstart, they were practically begging, she’d been a part of Tim and Cassandra and Damian and Bruce’s lives long before anyone cared. Tim, who actually braved reading comments and replies, noted that, for the most part…well they weren’t flat out insulting her. Or him.

For the most part.

That counted for a lot.

Though some of them…

Thankfully Bruce and Dick over many years had cultivated a stock image of a slightly batshit (hah) bonkers family that only seemed to grow with the years in equally odd members. Off kilter, sure, but overall a good family. Thank goodness for Gotham stereotypes.

Next step in becoming a target – an engagement photo shoot.

Tim was not even aware these were a thing, but found himself standing in a full suit a mere three days later. Images to be posted amongst societies circles and to be sent with rsvp invitations. This had been it’s own conflict. None of their superhero friends has been invited, but indeed to everyone, this was for real. Tim had ignored the Titans for days at this point, unable to explain what was going on. There was no pithy explanation.

He had been given a black tux, a dark red suit, a navy shirt and chinos, and a pot of hair gel to style himself. Stephanie, meanwhile, was upstairs, with a veritable army of beauticians, hairdressers and too many dresses to count.

It was raining, because of course it was. But the photography studio had insisted on going forward in the manor gardens.

“We can make it look real Austen and shit.”

Tim really didn’t understand the man’s reference. Said man was holding a camera with a very large lens that Tim suspected wasn’t necessary for this kind of shoot. He had sunglasses on, despite the weather, so Tim knew he was very cool. The four assistants who had been with Stephanie trotted down the stairs, moving quickly to set up lighting. All four looked a little dissapointed, but whatever reason Tim didn't understand.

"Okay?" He asked.

One got in Tim’s face and began fixing his hair. He instinctively flinched away from a stranger in his personal space, but quickly smiled apologetically and allowed her to resume. His gut churned from enduring the uncomfortable closeness.

"It's fine. We just... she's been hurt quite bad hasn't she?"

Tim flinched completely away. It seemed the look in his eyes was enough to make the lady look to the floor, and find something else to work on. Tim's protectiveness was flaring, and he knew it was making others uncomfortable. But he also doubted it was as uncomfortable as Stephanie was having strangers examine her body like that.

“Am I okay to come down now?” Stephanie’s voice drifted in from the top of the staircase, providing a welcome distraction.

The man (Tim couldn’t for the life of him remember the name) immediately became effusive.

“Of course, princess! Let’s see you. You’re in the red dress, right?”

“…Yeah.”

She poked her head around the corner and stared at Tim. She sighed sharply at how handsome he looked. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “Can I hold onto you walking down? It’s a lot of skirt…”

Tim didn’t care that she was blatantly lying. He hopped up to the top step, holding out his hand for her to take. When she did take, still half hidden behind the wall, Tim felt her trembling. He looked at her inquisitively.

“My scars…” Was all she could say. She was bent over, blonde hair curled to look like Sleeping Beauty’s. The assistants who had done her hair had made the decision to have it all down in order to hide her upper back, shoulders, collar and arms. She was wearing flowers in her hair, and her makeup made her look otherworldly. Tim realised it was all to draw attention upwards, away from her torso.

Tim squeezed her fingers. Stephanie as a rule did not show skin... not since Black Mask.

“You wore that purple dress, remember? The one I got you? That showed more skin.” He tried to remind her, so she could logic her way up to being confident in the beautiful dresses.

She only shook her head, and he could see her eyes growing frenetic with an increasing panic.

“No-one was paying attention, not like this. People are going to see me.”

He stepped closer, creating a bubble around them that made Steph’s breathing quieten, and her back straightened. Saying she was beautiful wasn’t going to work. Some of her scars, little that he had seen, were not beautiful. He wouldn’t lie to himself and say they were. Stephanie was beautiful; the injuries, the torn skin, the white shiny scars, the mangled puckered wounds… there was no beauty in the experiences that created them. No amount of sweet talking would convince her nor the world of it. But that didn’t mean she was lesser for it. Not even close. He stared straight into her eyes, praying he looked reassuring.

“It’s okay.”

She nodded, and gently, encouragingly, he tugged her forward into the viewpoint of the photography team. It was a strapless crimson gown, with a sweetheart neckline and a large wide skirt that made her waist tiny. The photographer hissed. She looked lovely, but some scars shined in the artificial light. It was going to make tidying up the images awkward.

“Oh.” He stated. Stephanie immediately hid behind Tim, feeling humiliated. “Do we want to hide these in post? Or are we drawing...”

Tim glared in an intensely threatening manner, and the man coughed, correcting himself.

“Doesn’t matter. You both look like royalty. Every time I do one of these shoots… but this must be one of the best.”

His team twittered like little birds in agreement. Stephanie struggled not to roll her eyes at the weak save.

Shots were taken of them walking down the stairs, though Stephanie did manage to trip of the final step, crumpling in a heap on the floor. The man had ensured she was okay, then demanded she remain there. Tim was forced to sit behind her, two or three steps up.

“Fix her hair and dress.” The man commanded. Immediately her position was altered, and her hair was pulled to cover certain patches of skin. Her breathing wobbled.

She wasn’t good enough.

A little off put by having so many people fuss over her, Stephanie reached upwards. Tim gave her his hand, and then quickly, unthinkingly, pressed a kiss to the back of her head. He watched as goosebumps trailed up her back, and he cursed himself a little for even attempting to comfort her.

“Oh!” Shouted the man. “Hold that. Her ring looks good.”

There were four outfits and locations in total – the strapless red gown for Tim’s black tux in the main staircase being the first. For the Thomas Wayne’s library Stephanie perched herself on a leather loveseat armrest, sitting awkwardly and slightly off to the side in her insecurity. Tim had his bowtie removed and three buttons undone, to which he promptly redid one. Stephanie was changed into an off the shoulder green dress with sleeves that split open to expose her arms and hit the floor. The gown had such a deep neckline that Tim’s eyes were drawn to a white scar that went up her sternum. She caught him looking and hissed like an angry cat, unsure if he was staring at her chest or the wound. The golden gown, the one that looked like rays of sun, for the shots in the conservatory was beautiful, but again, Tim could see she was growing increasingly uncomfortable with both the attention and exposure. Repeatedly for couple shots she would start to migrate behind Tim, half hidden away until called out and forced forward. Tim found he couldn’t say anything in front of the photography crew to comfort her. He kept some part of himself connected to her, hoping the touch would ground her. Obviously this was not an option for the solo shots.

She seemed much happier with the final dress. A shorter purple dress with feathers all along the hem. It had a high neck and long sleeves. Tim couldn’t help it, he laughed as she brushed through the bird feathers. She shivered in her bare legs though and begged to put on a pair of tights. The man narrowed his eyes, or at least Tim thought he did behind those glasses, but agreed.

“Some posed shots.” He said, staring down into his viewfinder. “Then go frolic outside.”

“Frolic?” Stephanie raised on eyebrow, and Tim mirrored it.

“Outside?”

Tim took off his blazer as he and Stephanie questioned the photographer in between snaps being taken. Steph grabbed a hold of Tim’s shoulder to balance as she zipped up a boot. The rain was coming down as hard as ever.

“Yes. We need some natural shots.”

His assistant opened the double window doors, cold air blasting its way in. Rainwater dripped inside, and Tim shuddered at the fit Alfred would have. The water crept dangerously close to one of the rugs, and even Stephanie made a panicked oomph noise, and she rushed out front into the pouring rain, hoping that the quicker this round was done the sooner these people would pack up and leave and she could return to flat shoes. Her heels were starting to ache to the point of distraction.

Tim rushed out after her, resisting the urge to yell at the frigid water which immediately soaked him to the bone. Stephanie looked back at him, her dress clinging in all the right ways, hair a sodden blanket. She was laughing from the shock of how cold it was.

“I can’t believe you agreed to this?” He yelled over the sound of the rain hitting the paving stones. Stephanie just laughed and held out her arms for him to step into. Her makeup was starting to run, but rather than making her look like a drowned rat, she looked lively and bright. Her face flushed red from the cold, and Tim willingly went straight into her hold.

She brushed his wet hair out of his eyes, grinning at the face she saw underneath. Still so pale, with such dark bruises under his eyes. Still not sleeping well. But he was happy, at least for the moment. She didn’t want her moodiness ruin that for him.

Stephanie couldn’t get that moment of the kiss to her hair out of her mind, nor could Tim stop thinking about the declaration of love and kiss on the lips she had given him last week. They were stumbling in the dark, seeking physical comfort in each other, and both knew how dangerous it was. Simultaneously, and without mentioning it to the other, they resolved to corner the other. Soon.

Until then, when the photographer called for them to kiss, it was Stephanie who cradled Tim’s face and pulled him close. It was the kind of kiss that they made when they were adolescents: enthusiastic, clumsy, but infatuated. Stephanie tried to convince herself that it was just another kiss for the job, like the ones one their dates and engagement dinners, but as always the sharp stab of enjoyment that came with Tim’s smiling kisses made her shiver and doubt. She squished his cheeks and laughed when they broke apart, and when she tried to leave Tim’s hold and playfully pulled her back around her waist, tossing out further into the rain so he could run inside before her.

She collapsed in, ankles a little wobbly, grimacing at the water they had allowed into the room. Tim shut the windows and huffed.

“Perfect.”

Remembering they had been watched, the redness in Stephanie’s skin vanished, and she resumed staring at her feet, shuffling backwards behind Tim.

Hair dripping wet, and conscious that the pair might catch a cold, Tim tried to be genial when he asked if they were done. The man bared his teeth and he flipped through the images. He didn’t look totally satisfied.

“I don’t know… Can we go for some more artsy stuff? You guys got a ballroom, right? You two are such a good pair…I just want some more to play around with.”

Stephanie stumbled in her shoes, growing more tired by the moment. Tim began to shiver. One of the assistants not so subtly nudged the man, letting him now his time was up.

Bruce in one his blessed moments of good timing, had at some point begun watching through the open door to the drawing room, seemed to realise that Tim and Steph had also had enough.

“Thank you, Mr Hare, but I’m going to have to ask you to wrap up. Let my kids dry up.”

Being referred to one of Bruce’s own made Stephanie stare in open shock, whilst Tim looked gratefully at him, giving a small smile.

“Oh.” Said Mr Hare – Tim tried to not feel guilty at not knowing his name for the entire shoot – and finally he took the hint. “No worries. This was a good session! Listen, I’ll send them when their done to van Rijk. She’s a beast, will probably want them tomorrow if I know her.”

Bruce smiled politely and indicated for Alfred to begin showing them out.

Tim’s shivering had grown worse, and Stephanie noticing this, rushed to one of the sofas which had a cream throw resting over the back to cradle Tim within.

“Rub your chest if it’s gets unbearable.” She uttered, “That’s where all the important bits are.”

Tim smiled, teeth chattering. “Minus a spleen.”

“Huh?” She looked at him, confused.

“I… Oh. I never told you?”

She tilted her head, gears turning ever so slowly in her head. “That you don’t have a spleen? Tim! You’ll get sicker easier and worse!”

She managed to kick off her shoes and moved in closer, tugging the throw around them both. With the assistants out of the room, Tim grew somewhat warmer knowing she was being genuinely caring in this moment.

“How long ago?” She asked, shifting so she could keep them both somewhat warm.

“Um…” Tim looked at Bruce helping Alfred escort the team of the estate. “When I first went looking for him. Got stabbed.”

Her breath warmed his neck, and her fingers drifted down to where his scar was. She cooed when he twitched as if her touch hurt him, but to Tim it felt like a bolt of electricity had passed straight down his spine. He told himself it was because of the static from the rain and humidity.

Bruce watched the group begin to pack up, both ensuring they had left with all their equipment but also listening to their conversation, trying to not to smile.

“I think…” He interrupted, and the pair jolted at the reminder that someone else was in sight of them. “You both should shower up. Then a quick word with you both.”

Stephanie was the first to break away.

“Can I use Cass’ room?”

“We have a spare room if you want it. We have loads of spare rooms.” Tim hinted.

Steph didn’t take the hint. “Cass’ is fine.”

Bruce, however, did hear the hint, and in a rare moment of paternal ingenuity, decided to throw a little bomb into the mix.

“When is Stephanie moving into your apartment, Tim?”

Stephanie, who had no idea such an idea was on offer, gulped. Tim, also appeared a little thrown.

“I… I…”

“I’ve never even been to your apartment.”

“Well, there’s your chance.” Bruce said. “Now hurry up, before Alfred sees the state of the floors.”

Bruce’s edict was law, and reluctantly Crystal agreed for Stephanie to move out.

When it came to moving in with Tim, Stephanie was surprised how easy it was. She really didn’t own that much stuff to begin with, and Tim had a lot of spare space.

Tim’s apartment, based in Park Row no less, was large, and took up two floors. He seemed awful proud of it. Steph didn’t miss the piano sat in the corner but chose not to comment.

“One of your projects?”

Tim huffed, thinking she was diminishing his efforts with Park Row. He was lifting her suitcases up the stairs. “Well, the redevelopment is as good as I make it… And I live here… so you know, I stand by it being good.”

“Hmm.” She set one of four boxes on the couch. Hard and square, it didn’t lend itself to resting and relaxing. Tim had probably chosen it for the aesthetics more than anything, and was likely cursing himself that he had offered to sleep on it whilst Stephanie took his own bed. Glaring at the obnoxious chandelier which hung down from the open space of the ceiling of the first floor down to just above their heads on the first, she hummed to herself.

“These aren’t…I…”

Tim waited patiently at the top of the steps for her to finish.

“How did you make sure you haven't just gentrified the area?”

Tim put down her suitcases, practically skipping down the steps to get to her level, a little put off with her question. “You worried I kicked poor people out of Crime Alley?”

Stephanie blushed, and defended herself. “Not intentionally.”

“No. Not intentionally. Not unintentionally either.” He scoffed, but before he could turn way, Stephanie halted him.

“How then?”

Tim couldn’t hear the sincerity in her tone, instead he heard patronising accusations. His temper flared unexpectedly. She still could rile him up like no other. “You care?”

As could he to her, apparently. Her blush turned to a flush of red anger, and her defensiveness became aggressive.

“What kind of question is that? Do I care about your job? The unprivileged? Gotham in general?” She waved her hands. “Nevermind. Not if you’re gonna take everything like an attack.”

With a whirl that smacked Tim in the face with her long ponytail, he flinched back and watched her drag another box in. It was too heavy for one person, and she was going to hurt her back in her stubbornness.

“Steph, let me help.”

“I’m fine.”

“Steph –”

“You don’t always need to be so –”

“You know you can accept help from –”

The pair trailed off, both bent awkwardly over a box, glaring at each other. Stephanie was the first to break, groaning in a tantrum and stomping up the steps. She looked down over the railing to Tim looking up at her.

“You honestly don’t have a spare room?”

“No. The other room is an office and a bathroom. It’s just for a few more weeks… I made space in my closet for you.”

“Thanks. Real generous there, Timbo.”

Her sarcasm was biting, and Tim felt the childish urge to stick his tongue out at her. She vanished from sight though, rolling her clothes through to his bedroom. Kicking the box at his feet, his eyes widened in shock at how heavy was, and he stumbled away.

“What she got in here… boulders?”

Dragging it into the hallway, Tim popped outside to see Crystal driving away, the two remaining boxes left at the foot of the steps to the door. They were lighter than the box of bricks, and once they were inside Tim shut the front door. Stephanie was still upstairs, so was likely unpacking her clothes.

Opening the heavy box in some grim determination to be vindicated in its contents, he was instead met with a box filled with stuffed soft toys.

She still held onto them? At the top of was a somewhat familiar teddy bear. She had held onto it and smacked him with it playfully on occasion. When he had visited her to tell her he was having to leave Gotham… when she was pregnant, when she didn’t know his name or anything about his parents or who was behind that mask… all she had known was this boy had – for some unknown reason – chosen to stay with her, to spend time with her. She had taken a lot of convincing over two years it was because Tim genuinely loved her, and it wasn’t out of some Bat driven duty to be kind to those weaker than you. By the time she believed it herself, she had seen Tim kissing someone (someone who she now knew he didn’t want to be kissed by) and everything had gone down the crapper. Seeing that stuffed bear affected him more than he expected.

Resting under it was the duck he had won her the other week. Its silly face peering out from under the other toys made him laugh despite his tense mood.

He picked up both toys and walked up the stairs. In his room, Steph was piling her shoes into a corner of the closet. Tim set the duck down on a table that rested at the foot of his bed.

“You kept this?” Tim asked, waving the teddy.

Stephanie gasped, clumsily pulling herself off the floor, and reached out to take it. Tim snatched it back.

“Give it.” She cried.

“Did you seriously bring everything? I could have helped you pack. Even the toys.”

She seemed increasingly upset, when Tim was only trying to tease. “I’m serious Tim, give it.”

He didn’t give way, so in her frustration, she shoved him. Hard. No damage was done, but the look of horror on her face at becoming physical like that with him made Tim’s stomach drop more than anything.

Her face turned white and she begged, “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Tim really didn’t know what to do with her constant mood swings, so awkwardly returned her bear to her. She nearly ripped it out of his hands and cradled it reverently.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have made fun of you. I just thought it was sweet, that you held onto this stuff.”

In her hands, Stephanie looked down at the bear. When she spoke, it was near a whisper.

“My dad bought it for me.”

“He did?”

“Mmm. When he was… when he was trying to be better.” Her look grew angry then. “I don’t know why I keep it.”

Without thinking, she plopped on her bed, staring at nothing. Tim realised he needed to intervene, and quick. He sat next to her and took one of her hands in both of his.

“We need to talk, I think.”

Dropping the bear, her other hand joined the three. Tim tried not to shiver at the warmth. “Me too.”

“Let’s get the rest of your stuff in, yeah? Is it all for upstairs?”

“I have some photo albums. And a couple of things for the kitchen. Figured you didn’t cook much.”

“Not really.”

She pulled their pile of hands into her lap, her look growing softer by the moment.

“Then I’ll cook tonight? First meal in a new place. Be a good wifey and all that.”

Tim tried not to imagine Stephanie with rollers in her hair, red lips and a frilly apron holding an apple pie. He failed. “Can’t comment on the contents of my fridge.”

“That’s okay.” She stood up, wandering down to the yellow duck. She pinched its orange beak. “Tim?”

“Mm?”

“I am genuinely interested in your work. I’m not being accusatory about that.”

“Thank you, Steph.”

She smiled, but it was sad.

With one box filled with stuffed toys, it truly didn’t take long for Tim to help her move the rest of her stuff into his room. Photos proceeded to take up free surface space, and Tim’s bathroom quickly became filled with so many items for the bath that his mind drifted to the idea of Stephanie. In his tub. In his apartment. He burned red for the rest of the afternoon, his brain not allowing him to let go of her soaking in bubbles.

There was one that smelled like cola candy that he liked, but it was at that point he decided he was being creepy, and wandered back downstairs, to find his fiancée’s head rammed in the fridge.

“Alright there?”

“Garlic…red onion… half a pepper…” Her muffled voice was amused. “Butter… cheese… milk.” She shut the door, hands full of everything except the milk. “Pretty standard student fridge contents huh?”

“I’m not a student.”

“Nah, but you have twenty-year-old brain anyway. We’re all messes.” She looked at the ingredients in her arms. “I can do something with this. You good a stirring?”

“I have movement in my wrists.”

She smiled. “Then grab me a knife, cutting board, pot and frying pan?” When he did, she jerked her head over to the sink. “Fill the pot three quarters up and throw a chunk of salt in. When it boils – two mugs of pasta and stir.”

It was a simple quick dish, but she gave Tim enough instructions to make him feel like he somewhat contributed to the food that she made. Sitting with her at the counter, watching her pile cheese higher and higher into her bowl, made him feel content in a manner he didn’t feel often in his home.

When they were finished, Tim stared into his empty bowl gathering the courage to say,

“We should talk.”

Stephanie beat him to it. Tim picked up the dishes, hand shaking a little.

“I’ll wash up.”

She reached out, fingers wrapping around his wrist gently. If he wanted, he could pull away without being violent, but he held still. Steph looked at him, trying to make him understand.

“It can wait a little bit.”

She was right, but Tim couldn’t shake his nerves. He set the bowls down, then sat back on the stool.

Stephanie’s hand shifted, and then suddenly they were interlocking fingers.

“Tim…” She began, and she was unable to look at him as much as he for her. “How much of this is real for you?”

Tim had told Dick he had wanted her to start the conversation, for her to lead the way, but now when it was happening, Tim moved from nervous to frightened.

“What do you mean?”

The look Steph gave Tim from the corner of her eye was indescribable, but the closest Tim got to giving it a name was pity.

“Do you want to be with me?”

“Do you?”

Deflecting like a wimp. Avoiding conflict. Tim tried to convince himself it was because Stephanie had to be the one to tell him. The moment she was decisive, so would he.

Instead she sighed like she didn’t know what to say. They were still holding hands. Tim began to breathe shallowly.

“Please, Steph. It’s fine if you don’t.”

There was his admission. She knew, she’d always known. But somehow, she had found the talent of laying her cards close to her chest, and he hated it.

“It’s not that.”

Not a denial. Not really an admission either.

“What is it?”

“It’s everyone else. Like, I’ve been getting all these messages all the time from people I haven’t spoken to in ages but then Kara keeps messaging me asking what’s going on. Why I didn’t tell her? Why are her and Conner not invited? But I can’t… I can’t lie to our loved ones about you.”

“Because you…don’t love me. And you don’t want to lie to the people we love that you do.”

He felt hollowed out. He felt like he was hurting her. But she had agreed to this. She didn’t have to. He had given her a way out. So what? She was being a martyr?

“No…No Tim.”

And suddenly Tim could breathe again.

“But don’t you get it? Even if I wanted… we are lying to everyone. How can anything good come from a lie? Especially for us. Where has us lying with each other ever done us any good?”

Oh. She thought they were repeating old bad patterns.

“I’m not lying to you.” He said, trying to reassure her. Not once since this whole thing had begun.

“And that’s all that matters?”

“It should. We’re the ones in this…relationship…so that’s all that counts.”

She sighed patiently, like she was explaining something to a child. “Tim, we don’t live in a bubble.”

Tim ignored it, and shamelessly began to beg. His patience had run out. It felt like he was pulling wisdom teeth, that’s how closed off she was being.

“Stephanie. Steph, please. You can’t say it’s a lie when I’ve done nothing but be honest with you. You have to tell me the truth.”

“About what?”

“You said you loved me at dinner.”

“I did.”

“Do you?”

“Of course, I do.”

Tim did not feel any lighter with the admission, nor did Steph look happy to say it.

“When this is over, do you want to be with me? For real? Like I do for you?”

Finally, finally, they looked each other in the eye.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was wet, quiet, and strained, like she was on the urge of crying. She didn’t even sound sure of her uncertainty. Maybe Tim was completely delusional, but he sensed that for all her talks of wanting the truth, she didn’t know what to do with it when it was staring her right in the face.

She was still frightened, and Tim knew it was from every piece of negative and positive attention being flung there way. Like Tim, Stephanie just wanted to be left alone. Unlike Tim, she couldn’t cope with the attention. And he didn’t know how to help her.

She then got up from the table, picking up their bowls to do the washing up. She had gotten what she wanted from the conversation. Tim was being earnest, like he always was. Tim still loved her, like he always had. Tim wanted a real relationship with her, like he had always wanted.

And she had only given him mixed signals in return. Self-loathing bubbled in her gut, which only served to fuel her seemingly growing self-esteem issues. Her anger spiked.

And she’d tried so hard to get over her adolescent insecurities too…

Patrol was waiting, after which Stephanie would spend the night with Cass at the manor, and Tim would return to his apartment, staring at the empty space in his large bed.

Neither slept that night.

#tim drake #stephanie brown #dc #timsteph #my fic tag

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mittensmorgul · 6 years ago

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9.09, Holy Terror.

Remember, folks. Writers lie.

But Metatron slips back into the story like the proverbial serpent. I mean, that's literally the metaphor that applies, considering he's the one who finally unmasks Gadreel for us-the-audience, despite Dean still being in the dark. But there's far more manipulation going on in this episode...

As Gadreel tightens the screws on Dean, Metatron applies the exact right pressure to Gadreel. It's figworms within figworms, one after the other rotting the apple from the inside out, and everything is about to collapse.

Remember in the 9.06-9.07 post, I described the process through which Dean's lies and half-truths gradually came to light until they were completely out in the open? Well, that's beginning in earnest with his current round of increasingly unsustainable lies, and we begin to really see the toll it's all taking on Dean.

(also need to note one of the angels killed in the opening scene, his vessel was named "Red Dawg," in a season where Dean has both been referred to by the nickname "D-Dog," and also became an actual dog for an episode already... the MoC/demon Dean foreshadowing was pervasive in this season)

We've already seen Sam begin to crack under the weight of it all at the end of 9.08, but now both Dean and Cas will feel that burden, too...

Dean pushes Gadreel for an honest answer about Sam's recovery, pressuring him for a better answer, while Gadreel expresses his concern over working a case that potentially involves angels, but also leaving the entire burden of perpetuating the deception on Dean himself. And he's not doing well with that burden, and Sam's losing faith in himself and trust in Dean's increasingly shady answers...

SAM (getting agitated) No, it's more than Vesta! I mean, this kind of thing's been happening to me. Like, like, there are chunks of time just … missing. Like there are times when I'm... not here. DEAN Well, like I've said— SAM Yes, the trials. I know. I heard you. I heard you when you said it the last week and the week before that and the week before that. DEAN Yeah, because ... damn straight the trials. They whacked you, man. You're not up to warp speed yet, okay? But you will be. (Smiles at SAM.) Would I lie?

and

Blue light flashes in SAM’s eyes; EZEKIEL-IN-SAM is back. DEAN (knowing he's about to get more grief from EZEKIEL-IN-SAM) Oh, boy. EZEKIEL-in-SAM Well? What are you going to do about this? DEAN About Cas? EZEKIEL-in-SAM He is a beacon, Dean, pulling every angel for miles down on our heads. DEAN All right, you know what, Zeke? Level with me. What is it that you're so afraid of? EZEKIEL-IN-SAM I told you. When I chose to answer your prayers and heal Sam, I chose sides. That means I'm not in good standing with certain angels. DEAN Okay, well, you know what? Cas isn't in good standing with any angel, all right? But here he is, ass on the line, fighting the fight. So tell me, what makes you so special?

But Dean breaks down again and begins to strategically confess to Cas, still leaving out crucial pieces of information, but giving him enough that Cas does eventually begin to understand the gravity of Dean's situation:

CASTIEL (clears throat) I, um, I noticed you look... kind of uncomfortable whenever Sam mentions my leaving. Doesn't he know that you told me to leave? DEAN Here's the deal. When Sam was doing the trials to seal up Hell, it messed him up. Okay? The third one nearly killed him. If I'd let him finish, it would have. He's still messed up, bad. CASTIEL You said the angel, Ezekiel, helped heal him. DEAN (looks down, avoiding the question) Look, I got to do anything I can to get him back. Now, if that means that we keep our distance from you for a little while, then... Then I don't have a choice. I don't feel good about it, but I don't have a choice. It's great to have your help, Cas. Okay, but we just can't work together. CAS looks sad.

Bolding mine. I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

Cas, being Not A Moron™ now understands that everything that's happened since the angels fell, since Dean went to extraordinary measures to save Sam with "Ezekiel's" help, has put Dean in this impossible position. He might not know the true extent of it, but at the end of the episode when he calls Dean to warn him that "Ezekiel" is not who he's pretending to be, he knows that Dean absolutely NEEDS this information... which he could only have known if he understood that Dean had made some sort of as-yet-still-secret-by-necessity-of-Sam-continuing-to-be-not-dead pact with Fake Ezekiel...

And then, a truly horrible twist of circumstance as Cas searches for answers and is captured by a group of angels and tortured. Everyone is just doing what they have to do...:

CASTIEL Angels butchering angels. Is this what we've become? MALACHI Just following your example, Castiel. How many did you kill in Heaven? How many in the Fall? (off CASTIEL's look) Oh, you didn't know? A host of angels died when they fell – Azrael, Sophia, Ezekiel (At this last name, CASTIEL turns very thoughtful) ... "Died" doesn't even describe it. Devastation. Wings shredded, unspeakable agony at your hands. So, I think you would want to provide any information you have, considering... (pause; no response from CASTIEL) All right. I leave you in the hands of an artist. (to THEO) I don't care what's left. THEO Don't ask for mercy. There is none. THEO walks and shuts the door, then returns to CASTIEL, and picks up a drill. THEO I'll give you one last chance for this to end. CASTIEL Give me a quick death. CASTIEL closes his eyes and holds up his face in anticipation of the blow(s). THEO I need you to speak to Metatron. Everyone knows you have influence. CASTIEL now opens his eyes and looks in astonishment at THEO. THEO (continuing) He'll listen to you. Ask him to raise me to Heaven. You can do this, Castiel. I'll be a soldier for Metatron, do anything he wants. CASTIEL You – you serve Malachi. THEO I thought he was the answer, but he's crazy. CASTIEL You're... noticing this now? You were more than willing to do his dirty work. THEO I did what I had to.

So of course Cas does what he has to do, now that he knows what Metatron is up to, that Dean is in danger from the False Ezekiel:

CASTIEL (on the phone) Dean, I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi. DEAN How do you know that? CASTIEL He had me. I, uh, I was tortured. But I got away. DEAN How? CASTIEL I... I did what I had to. I became what they've become. A barbarian. DEAN What are you – Cas, where are you? CASTIEL It's better I stay away. They're gonna want me even more now. But I'm gonna be all right. I... I got my Grace back. Well, not mine per se, but it'll do. DEAN Wait, you're – you're back? You got your mojo? CASTIEL I'm not sure. But I am an angel. DEAN And you're okay with that? CASTIEL If we're going to war, I need to be ready.

Unfortunately Cas's warning comes too late to save Sam, or Kevin, and Gadreel takes over fully, having been deceived and manipulated into doing Metatron's dirty work, just as Cas had been in 8.22-8.23.

Which is why Cas immediately forgives Dean in the opening scenes of...

9.10, Road Trip.

(meanwhile, the angels all continue to be Terrible™ in the background, proving they were always Terrible™ and are only using Cas as a scapegoat, blaming their troubles on him when honestly they were all always Terrible Manipulative Bastards™ all on their own!)

(also, Andrew "what are cars even anyway" Dabb writing an episode called "Road Trip" makes me cackle)

Watching Dean suffering alone at the bunker (Gadreel even stole the Impala ffs), giving Kevin a hunter's funeral alone... this was hard. And then Cas showed up 100% understanding, and 100% ready to help however he could, back in a new trench now that he had his mojo back. So in that way, Dean had already resigned himself to having An Angel back, and not the same Cas he'd tossed out in his worst moment. It's his fault Cas was forced to go to that measure. Ouch.

I'd also like to point out the similarity between Metatron luring Cas in during s8-- starting by appealing to Cas's desire for atonement, his need for all the angels to stop the infighting and begin working together again, to restore order, and then luring him in to increasingly horrific acts he promised would achieve those ends. When Cas had balked, Metatron had manipulated circumstances to push Cas into doing them anyway. Same with Gadreel.

Metatron used the lure of being able to clear his name, back in 9.09:

METATRON: Relax. I'm not here to out you. But I am curious, why Ezekiel? NOT-EZEKIEL-IN-SAM They say he is a good, and ... honorable angel. METATRON Ahhhh. Everything they say you are not. I see your point... Gadreel. NOT-EZEKIEL-IN-SAM (henceforth to be known as GADREEL-IN-SAM) The stories about me – they are not true! METATRON And yet you spent countless thousands of years locked in Heaven's darkest dungeon. And now you're hiding in this human, posing as Ezekiel. (shakes his head) Tragic. It broke His heart to lock you away, you know? You were God's most trusted. That's why He chose you to protect the garden. Your one task was to keep evil from entering... from befouling His cherished creation, mankind, and you failed Him! GADREEL-IN-SAM Not my doing. METATRON Well, for whatever reason, the serpent entered. The Earth is cursed with evil. Someone had to be blamed.

Gadreel had been duped from the start. And he didn't let evil onto the Earth. Adam and Eve weren't tainted with evil when they ate the apple, they were tained with the KNOWLEDGE of good and evil. If knowledge could be considered a "curse" in the first place. And Gadreel just happened to be the one left standing there after the deed had been done, even if he was no more complicit in what resulted that Cas had been in Metatron's spell that made the angels fall. But unlike Cas, Gadreel believes Metatron truly wants to help him clear his name, or at the very least help him build his reputation anew by doing "good" now... and yiiiiiikes....

Gadreel was horrifically okay with killing Kevin on Metatron's orders, because Kevin was helping Dean perform a spell to eject him from Sam, and it was partly (at least he could rationalize it that way) self-defense. And he was all too happy to murder his former jailer who was now envesseled in a Justin Bieber wannabe. I believe we all cheered about that guy getting his comeuppance. But then Metatron orders him to kill the only angel Gadreel had considered a friend, who he'd been imprisoned with, and who'd decided to embrace the human life he'd found himself in, adopting his (previously abusive jerkwad) vessel's family as his own. Abner had been HAPPY with his life, and yet to save his own reputation, and without questioning Metatron's order, Gadreel killed him.

Crowley also played a role in this, using his NSA-infiltrated demon to track the stolen Impala. Crowley praised her for also playing ball with Abaddon (and later Abaddon would kill her for admitting she was also helping Crowley... two very different ruling styles...), and then they'd have to move from Plan A (torturing Gadreel with the Angel Brainwashing Halo Thingie) to Plan B (crowley possessing Sam to convince him to evict Gadreel from the inside).

Gadreel gone back to his previous vessel, Sam feels justifiably violated by his possessions.

Sam: What do you want me to say? I’m pissed? Okay I am, I’m pissed. You lied to me - again. Dean: I didn't have a choice. Sam: I was ready to die Dean. Dean: I know. But I wouldn't let you, because that’s not in me. Sam: So what, you decide to trick me into being possessed by some...psycho angel? Dean: He saved your life. Sam: So what. I was willing to die. And now...Kevin. Dean: No, that is not on you. Kevin’s blood is on my hands. And that ain’t ever getting clean. I’ll burn for that. I will. But I’ll find Gadreel and I will end that son of a bitch. But I’ll do it alone. Sam: What’s that supposed to mean? Dean: Come on man, can’t you see, I’m poison. People get close to me they get killed, or worse. I tell myself I help more people than I hurt and I tell myself that I’m doing it all for the right reasons and I believe that. But I can’t -- I won’t drag anyone anybody into the muck with me - not anymore. Sam: Go. I’m not going to stop you. But don’t go thinking that’s the problem because it’s not. Dean: What’s that supposed to mean? Sam: Just go.

And we're back to not talking to each other. And there's our final "I didn't have a choice." But there's also the fact that Dean DIDN'T trick Sam into letting an angel possess him. The angel did that all on his own. Asking for Dean's permission was entirely besides the point. It was Sam who had to say yes, and it was Gadreel who assumed Dean's likeness inside Sam's mind, using what he'd learned about Sam during his unattended "examination" while Dean had been talking to Cas and blowing away the other angels attacking the hospital to learn what he'd need to manipulate Sam into saying yes. And it's not like Dean intended to lie, that was Gadreel's condition he'd at first told Dean was to prevent Sam from ejecting him and basically dying on the spot before they could explain the plan to Sam. And then over time, as Dean tried to tell Sam the truth before it got to that point, Gadreel actively prevented him from doing so. It was only then that Dean realized just how screwed he was. ALLLLLL the guilt of everything bad that's resulted from Gadreel possessing Sam to this point, Dean blames all of it on himself-- Cas, Kevin, Sam... all of it. Sam's just... still reeling from his own experience that he's unable to see this yet. Unfortunately, he won't see it for a good long while to come, after it's far too late to save Dean from what the mark will do to him.

And another cycle of manipulation, betrayal, and sacrifice begins. Chuck must've been pretty damn proud of this one... all he had to do was sit back and watch Metatron execute the very Him-like plan for him.

#spn 9.09 #spn 9.10 #s14 hellatus rewatch #it's spirals all the way down #lies and damn lies #i blame metadouche for everything including global warming and bee colony collapse #the scheherazade of supernatural #spiders georg of the tnt loop

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theonceoverthinker · 7 years ago

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OUAT Rewatch: 1X02 - The Thing You Love Most

How in Merlin’s tree trunk did this post end up being longer than the one for the freakin’ Pilot?!

I better watch it, or this is gonna be one wordy rewatch!

If you want to join in on my rewatch train and hear my thoughts, head below the cut because this is another long one! (Here’s what to expect if you do: Fawning over dynamics, getting lost in sexy ladies both on their own and together, fanfiction bunnies a plenty, and a squigin of analysis! Bring a shaker, because there’s hardly a pinch of salt here!)

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, TWO TWO!

Press Release Regina does everything in her power to force Emma out of Storybrooke and out of her and Henry’s lives forever. Meanwhile, the chilling circumstances of how the Evil Queen released the curse upon the fairytale world is revealed. General Thoughts Following up the pilot, a remarkable - practically flawless - episode was a hard task and this episode delivered! It kicks off right from where we ended last time in the present, and we get a cool change of perspective in the past. Speaking of which, let us start off in the past. I love the transition between Regina in the wedding hall to her castle and immediately, we give her some people to talk to and set up her power dynamics. Not only do we get to see two servants, but people closer to Regina’s level, and that’s so important as an audience member to get a feel for her strengths and weaknesses going forward and to paint a picture of someone who has truly exhausted every resource to get what she wants. That makes the twisted tragedy at the end of the episode so much more complicated, though no less evil. Of course, Regina comes out of this episode with so much development. The moonlit scenes (both by the fire pit and in the castle) with Henry Sr (Whose identity was one of OUAT’s greatest twists) spoke to how Regin’s lust for revenge has eclipsed not only her sensibilities of right and wrong, but the love that others in her life (most notably Henry Sr. himself). Finally, I want to point out the scene between Rumple and Regina, because it was so close to being my favorite dynamic of the episode. There’s a level of comfortable tension between the two of them. You can see it in the way that Regina’s not surprised when Rumple asks for more in his deal, and despite Rumple’s silly and insane antics and requests, she’s able to hold steady. Their relationship also contrasts the scene with Regina and Mal. In that scene, Regina was able to take what she wanted. In this scene, she must relent and gagree to Rumple’s terms, and that speaks to the matter of sizing up Regina that I mentioned before and in a way that doesn’t skimp on character development for either Mal or Rumple. In addition, the scene just made me laugh. Fuck! Robert Carlyle is too fucking good! Now let’s blast to the present! The opening is really delightful and gives off a feeling of something being both familiar and new, and it’s a great metaphor for the waves that Emma is already bringing to Storybrooke. In fact, the whole episode - characters and stories - show a shift. Everyone acts just a little closer to either the direction of their character arcs (Ex. Emma and Archie) or to their fairytale selves (Ex. Regina, Rumple, and Archie), and it’s played very subtly. Just like the tick of a clock. Not gonna lie, I laughed hard during the famous apple tree scene. Between Emma’s satisfied smile, the way Regina freakin’ wooshed from her window to go investigate, and how Regina was screaming had me cackling like a hyena. However, in addition to being funny, we also got some more characterization out of Emma, namely impulsivity and external fearlessness. What I mean by external fearlessness is how while Emma is afraid of intangible things like forming connections and trusting, a threat like an intimidating person is a lot less scary to her, and she has no trouble taking Regina up on her threats. I feel that these traits are expanded on, but given a suitable level of retention throughout the rest of the series. Insights I immediately realized how weird it was that we had an actual voice-over intro to the show in Season 1. I totally understand why it disappeared after the curse broke, but just remembering it again was like a cup of cold water to the face. Also, I really wish that we could have somehow had the narrator who did the intro as well as the famous “previously, on Once Upon a Time” be an actual character a-la “Into the Woods,” or hell, make him Isaac or an older Henry! Of course, keep Andrew West, but maybe a Henry who is the Apprentice’s age! XD Between this episode and the pilot, I notice so much pop music in the show’s soundtrack! In later seasons, apart from the rare instance of “Only You” and a couple of 80’s songs at Roni’s or the arcade, we really don’t get instances of contemporary tracks. I’m stuck between that being important or not. On one hand, the change to classical could reflect on the reformation of Storybrooke to its fairy tale origins with the end of the curse and the return of magic, but the contemporary music, at least here, also goes along with the theme of things changing in Storybrooke, and for the better. ALSO, along the lines of music, I couldn’t help but notice how the lyrics of the song specifically resonate with the specific character on screen as they’re sung (Ex. “Don’t be shy” to Mary Margaret, “Don’t wear your fear” to Emma, and “Let your feelings out instead” to Graham’s car and Archie). Neat! Aesthetic stuff that pleases me: Regina’s outfits in this episode are all among my favorite (And her hair in the flashback - high ponytails are the way to go if you’re a fairytale character!), Emma’s bug (So, I won a model of her bug in an auction at NJ con last year and I was sad to see a gray dent in the middle, and just now, I saw that same dent in her bug in the show! I’m so happy), Emma in that tank (How the hell did I not realize I was bi until nearly a year after I started this show?!), The smoke when characters poof around (It looks so good in the beginning of the show - no offense to later seasons - I like the smoke there too, but this smoke is so puffy and like a mix of cotton and its accompanying seeds as they flutter in the breeze), and Lana’s makeup (I normally don’t pay attention to makeup, but with the lighting of this episode, I couldn’t help but notice it) I also really wish we had an episode about Regina’s apple tree! Along those same lines, we see Regina with a horde of baddies, and a lot of them have really cool designs. I’m not saying we needed their stories per se - sometimes a minion can just be a minion - but I wish we could’ve seen a bit more of them. These are some of the “darkest souls,” after all. This episode really made me think about how I felt about Maleficent and the consistency between the character we see here as well as in bits and pieces throughout Seasons 1 and 2 and the one who reappears in Season 4. Now, obviously, we see her story out of order, as Lily not only was already gone but in a meta-sense, not created yet (Some would call it a retcon, but I agree with the perspective suggested once that retconning isn’t really a thing on OUaT due to the non-linear timeline method of storytelling and Mal’s motivations - while somewhat set up - aren’t loosely defined at this point in the series). Some things not evaluated on - the horse, most notably - give me pause, though as to its importance. Arcs I’ll be honest: I’m not exactly sure how to expand upon this section. Here’s my best attempt. Emma journey of belief - I’ll elaborate on this a bit, but Emma’s journey with belief is tied to her relationship with Henry, and as their relationship developed here, as did Emma’s journey. However, as I will also mention, she has a long way to go. The power struggle against Regina - This episode painted a much more elaborate picture of Regina and her power dynamics with others in her life. We see her acting as mayor and the levels of influence she holds over the whole town. The corruption of Storybrooke is clear to all but the most naive. At the same time though, she is not infallible, and those who choose to stand up to her are indeed victorious, but give rise to a Regina who is not only more vicious, but also more sinister and calculating. Favorite Dynamic Emma and Henry! I feel like this episode shows their dynamic even better than the pilot did. Here, they get a bit more banner, and while there’s an intense push-and-pull still there, we get to see more of Henry’s likable and precocious traits and how they mix with a jaded, but less-so Emma. They also get a lot of funny moments! Between and Henry owning up to sending the hot cocoa, more or less demanding Emma walk him to school, and throwing the apple in the hammiest fashion, I could hardly keep a straight face. But more than that, I feel like there’s a good mix of Henry explaining himself, but also not letting a moment of character building drop in his grasp, and not only does he ensure that, but every character that brings him up does the same (Specifically, Archie). Also, Henry’s much more self aware here. Now that the threat of Emma going is averted for the time being, he’s able to express his own understanding of her doubts and build on that logically without letting his belief falter. I love when Regina’s trying to convince him that Emma’s a conwoman and he’s just having none of it. All of this just makes the scene where Regina sets Emma up to hurt Henry by dismissing his beliefs so tragic, especially because it comes from this honest and caring place on Emma’s part. She wants to look out for Henry’s well being, and yet her words are twisted, undoing any good that could come of her well-meaning intentions. When the scene is resolved, it’s not a step in Emma’s journey of belief, per se (She’s very clearly lying about the fairy tale world being real), but in her relationship with Henry, and that’s revealed to be one and the same. I also want to point out the specialness that is their relationship based on the conversation that Emma and Mary Margaret share. Mary Margaret brings up a good point: most everyone who knows and cares enough for Henry are under Regina’s thumb. She controls their livelihoods and make it near impossible to do too much to act in Henry’s best interests. However, Emma, an outsider who is not dependent on Regina (At least at this moment), exists outside this paradigm and is the only one both in a position to and fearless enough to create the change in Henry’s life that will actually improve his situation. It creates a meaningful reason for Emma to remain in Storybrooke and adds a unique challenge to Emma’s usual instinct to not - as Sidney says - “sit still.” Writer A&E are once again at the helm of this episode! Right now, as I work with two episodes, I consider their main strengths to be their depictions of character relationships of all kinds (With one weird exception that honestly surprised me). As for weaknesses, as I know I’ll be expanding on this in due time, overambition. There’s so much set up in this episode as well as the one before it, and while most (within the scope of only these two episodes) gets meaningful resolution, there are some elements that don’t. Rating 10/10...I was conflicted about what to give this episode. It’s great. It’s very fucking great, and a Golden Apple - however repetitious from my last episode. However, this is a rewatch, and with a rewatch comes the acknowledgment and recognition of unused potential of story elements in hindsight, and this episode does show a lot that was never truly acted upon. In addition to background events and characters, some story elements like Emma and Henry pretending to be non believers don’t come back. That having been said, that unused story potential only holds in regard to smaller character and story elements, things that I want to be built on, and that’s a weak criticism at best. The important story elements - the main story points and the integral characters - are treated well by this episode. There’s nuance and charm galore added to our central cast and the story propels us from the powerful pilot into a well-written continuation. So, I took away its * and left it as a 10/10. Flip My Ship Swan Queen - I love the bickering so much! Regina calling Emma “dear” had me giggling like sparkly Rumple after eight cups of coffee! Oh damn, and those intense looks at the hotel! AND the freakin’ apple tree scene! That tension was so thick, you could only hope to cut it with a chainsaw! Dragon Queen - Regina and Mal’s scene is a long and strong, and while I don’t start really feeling it with them until Season 4, I do still love the connection between them. That only friend line implies so much history, and knowing at least the start of their connection really gives extra meaning to that line.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

...So much for keeping these rewatch pieces short, am I right? Hope you liked them and thanks once more to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for putting this rewatch together! Season Tally (20/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (20/70)

#watching fairytales #ouat 1x02 #ouat #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #ships mentioned #swan queen #dragon queen

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sinewho · 8 years ago

Text

No.6 major fic rec list

Hello people:D

It seems 2 (two) human beings might be interested in a recommendation fic list. SO HERE IT IS Things to have in mind: .It was supposed to be short but I ended up mentioning 97 fics, sorry .I used 10 categories (highschool, college, modern setting, Kingdom / Fantasy Au / Magic, Miscellaneous Aus, Post-series, canon, reunion, Life Swap and Gender Bend) . Links in bold are fics that are definitely a must. You MUST read them because of how good they are, I tried to highlight 2 or 3 in each category and rating, so you can go to those first .The rating of the fic is next to the name for easy choosing. Plus some small commentary I added on my favs. .Have in mind that some of this are not finished and a pretty large amount might be abandoned, but read them anyway because they are still great .There’s a little list at the end with my favorite authors, I would recommend everyone to read ALL of their work, but some of those works might be in other categories. . Feel free to reblog with your own contributions!! I definitely need more awesome fics to read :3

Keep reading for the long-ass list

High School:

Reminiscing on the Past, Looking Forward to the Future (Not Rated)

Shion was digging through a box when he found a small teddy bear and note that Nezumi had given him, many years ago. He reminisces on the past, and decides to finally let Nezumi know how he felt.

My Gypsy Boyfriend (Not rated) This is MY FAVORITE hs au, go for it, no regrets guaranteed

Shion is drawn to the new kid. Nezumi is both beautiful and intriguing. He's also a gypsy, and a loner that most people avoid...But Shion isn't most people. He’s a persistent airhead who won’t take no for an answer.

locker notes (Not Rated)

Shion and Nezumi are in their last year of high school with unspoken crushes that only come to light when Nezumi slips a note in Shion's locker.

shall i compare thee to a high school play? (Not Rated)

Shion is Romeo, and Nezumi is Juliet, and maybe it's just a high school play, but Shion means every single one of his lines to his best friend and only hopes he can keep his true feelings disguised as an act.

that one where nezumi's an idiot and shion has a cute laugh (G)

“Literally all I wanted was some fucking Doritos.”

Love All, Trust A Few, Do Wrong To None (T)

Shion is the perfect student. He is currently attending a prestigious academy and leads a comfortable, quiet, ordinary life with his mother and best friend in Lost Town. However, a mysterious and dangerous transfer student lurks on the horizon, and little does Shion know his life is about to be turned upside down.

Re: 2 a.m (T)

To: Nezumi

Sub: Sorry in advance

Sent at 1:44 A.M.

Are you awake?

Eyes only for you (T)

This is a world where people are born with two different colored eyes, one is their natural eye color and the other is their soul mate’s natural eye color. When a person makes eye contact with their soul mate, each person's eyes lose their soul mate’s color and become a pair of their own natural color.

Melodic Minor (M)

Rock Band AU set in 1997

School Bells (M)

In an AU Nezumi is a third year who goes to a rich boys school where he aimlessly waits for when he can leave. When he meets a mysterious boy with red eyes named Shion he thinks, maybe, he has something to look forward to everyday.

Meet Me At The Stage Door (M)

Theatre geek Nezumi doesn't think he'll enjoy watching ballet. Boy, is he wrong.

The Rat and Red Eyed Boy (M)

Shion didn't expect for this year to be any different from his others. He had always been the 'weird' kid and got teased for the red mark that traveled along his body. Little did he know his life would change after meeting a certain boy. Nezushi high school AU where Shion's scars are also sensitive to touch.

College / Roomates

drunk and smitten (Not Rated)

Really just a drabble - Shion breaks into Nezumi's apartment in the middle of the night, completely drunk and thinking it's his own home that he's let himself into.

no more nor less (G)

Nezumi has decided to confess his feelings to Shion after Safu suggests he should. He meets Shion in the library to study Shakespeare, and...?

In Which Shion Is Found To Be Gay (G) soooo cute omg

Exactly what it says on the tin.

I Might Just Love You! (T)

Nezumi was the first to bear witness to his roommate's dilemma. He knew this was going to be an issue-Not everyone was capable of knowing a beautiful sight once they've seen one, and Shion surely was a beautiful sight, but nonetheless. No one ever said dealing with an infectious disease as a college freshman was going to be easy. Luckily, Nezumi's there every step of the way.

Roommates Before Lovers (T)

Shion needs a place to stay while attending university, and who better to room with than Nezumi, the kid he remembers from that bus ride all those years ago? But things in their apartment don't go as smoothly as expected, because both are hiding secrets about their past from each other, causing things in the present to get...complicated.

The best laid plans (T) ok listen, this fic is great ITS SO GREAT

In which Shion doesn’t know how to meet people, and Nezumi is a Shakespeare snob. Also road trips.

A college Journey (T)

Nezumi and Shion are randomly assigned to be roommates in their first year of college. Their first meeting goes pretty roughly, but romance soon develops between them. But will it be able to last through the tough times ahead of them?

College Clusterfuck (M)

Shion's a stoner. Nezumi's a drunk. Inukashi understandably kind hates them both. (High)jinks ensue. College AU.

More than Enough (M)

The lives of Nezumi, Shion, and their friends in college. Or, just another NezuShi College AU with too much fluff.

Corruption (M)

"You're going to be fun...to corrupt." Nezushi AU. Street musician Nezumi, college student Shion.

Who said college life wasn't fun? This is a ongoing series of at lest 14 works -as of today- rating from G to E and my favorite college au, for real, its great. Please read it. PLEASE READ IT ITS AMAZING 10/10

Just one week had passed since the first lectures and already he had two assignments due for the next week so that meant that there was only one place for Shion to go, the library.

Modern Au / or more things that are not precisely high school or college

You are My World (Not Rated)

Have you ever loved someone with a fierceness you didn't know about until something happened that made you realise just how much it would affect you should that person be taken away from you? Shion was just about to find out what that felt like.

Smile (G) (13 y/o cute dorks)

Shion won't smile properly with his braces and Nezumi notices. Middle School AU.

Paperback Lover (G)

Nezumi doesn't visit the local bookstore for the cute white-haired boy that works there. He's only here for the books. No, really.

Dance with me (G)

All it takes is a club and a lot of alcohol, and Shion becomes a regular Casanova.

MotherTruckers (T) nezumi is a mean trucker, how great is that?

Living in Alaska is difficult for recent college graduate Shion, especially considering his degree's emphasis in... plants. But when he stumbles into a job as an ice road trucker and finds himself partnered with a grey-eyed man named Nezumi, Shion decides maybe Alaska isn't too bad after all. Nezushi, Trucker AU

Im in love with my Bodyguard (T)

The year is 1947. Nezumi had just gotten fired and is given a job as a bodyguard.But who does he need to protect? and who is this Shion?

Our Day In Summer (T) Super lovely, full of fluff

Shion is stuck in a monotonous job as a simple company employee, and has no real aims in life. One day, he meets Nezumi, a street musician and aspiring artist, and things in his life begin to change.

Codex (T) (trans!nezumi)

Shion finds a rat in a bookstore.

Any Helpful (T) (trans shion and trans nezumi)

Safu is asked for assistance by Shion. She ends up helping Nezumi too.

The Visitor (M)

Shion was just about to leave him. Not for good, but at least to teach him a thing or two. The only problem is, he's sure they can reconnect after the accident damages his lover.

Empty Fantasies (M)

Eve is the best drag queen in Tokyo. When Shion is dragged to his show for Safu's birthday, he finds himself drawn to the man. When they keep running into each other, they can't shake the feeling that they've met a long time ago.

A time for everything (M)

Shion will never fall in love again.

All the Pretty Little Animals (E)

"Shion is dragged by his friends to a strip club. There, he meets Nezumi (bonus for drag!)"

Kingdom / Fantasy Au / Magic

the lost prince (Not Rated)

The royal family was massacred 15 years ago, but the kingdom has always held out hope that the lost prince would return. Meanwhile, Nezumi has been acting strange, and Shion isn't sure why his best friend of 14 years keeps giving him these looks that escalate one night to more than just an expression Shion cannot explain.

three wishes (Not Rated)

Shion finds a genie's lamp, and when he rubs it, he's more preoccupied with falling for the cranky genie that comes out than making his allotted three wishes.

Evening Song (G)

A continuation of the centaur AU for all you perverts out there who wonder how Nezumi and Shion are gonna get together even though Nezumi is a centaur and Shion is an elf. Written in the style of a classic fairy-tale by Andrew Lang.

A Centaur Named Mouse (G)

Nezumi is a centaur. Shion is a wood elf. They are dorks. Kissing happens. It's cute. The end.

Yes, your majesty (T)

There once was a king. There once was a prince. There once was a curse. Now there once was a mouse. Fairytale

darkness as it turns into light (T) (harry potter crossover)

Safu always says Nezumi appositely asked the Sorting Hat to put him into Slytherin, to better uphold his bad boy looks and his look-at-me-in-the-wrong-way-and-I-will-take-your-eyes-out attitude. Most of the time, Shion can’t but agree.

The Prince and the Rat (T)

Shion is a prince in a castle, waiting to be rescued, Nezumi is the handsome knight in shining armor, Safu is a sassy tag along friend (like donkey), and Elyurias is an overprotective wasp mother. (The Shrek AU nobody asked for)

cognitive dissonance (M)

A strange night in the rain at twelve years old was the beginning to a future Shion never could have imagined. A future which involved foreign promiscuity, betrayal, dogs, love, loss, and a whole lot of bravery.

Ghost (M) (OMG SO BEAUTIFUL AND SAD)

Shion can't remember how he died and Nezumi doesn't want him to. Everything seems fine until a plague is mentioned and Shion becomes determined to find out. Will it bring them closer together or part them even more? ... Song fic, but actually it's more of a poem but yeah, hmm character death?

i begin to understand why god died (M) the angel thing is really cool

I was human when my heart was stolen by him, and I was human when I longed to be by his side. This fact won't change, no matter what name I decide to give to these feelings. --It was sometime around 1,200 A.D. when he met Shion.

Be Cruel to be King (E) The best kingdom au, 71k words full of fluff and some fights and great things haha

In the kingdom of Seis, King Rikiga rules cruelly. When he takes a former baker as his wife and makes her queen, her son Shion is named as heir to the throne, with one ultimatum; become a good leader before he turns 18 or be banished to"West District" to live forever in poverty and exile. Sadly Shion has no idea how to be cold hearted like Rikiga, but he meets someone who can help.

Miscellaneous AUs

books and mind reading (Not Rated) From all 27 Danielle’s work in my opinion this is the best, full of angst and fluff. Top 5 best fics ever for sure

Shion can read minds, an ability more overwhelming than he was prepared for when he moved from his small hometown to the city for university. In the city, he meets Nezumi, whose mind is much different than anyone's Shion has read before. Shion breaks his own rule by telling Nezumi he can mind read, intending on never seeing the man again - an intention that, of course, does not quite pan out.

The Dead Horse Shanty (Not Rated)

"Oh, poor old man, your horse will die, we'll drop him down to the depths of the sea. We'll send him down with a long, long roll, where the sharks will have his body and the devil have his soul." Nezumi, pirate ship cabin boy, is unprepared for the addition of a hostage onto his to-do list. He is even less prepared for the raging storm that will maroon them on an island together.

their wicked minds (T)

Shion is a Senator in the Intergalactic Imperial Senate, and Nezumi is a bioengineered super soldier assigned to be his bodyguard.

The Forest of Tranquility (M)

Shion, a young ecologist, is allowed to leave No.6’s protective wall for the very first time in his life. During his research the young man rescues a silver-eyed beauty, unaware that this fateful encounter will hold him captive in the core of the Northern forest. “You shall not leave again!”

Courtship Rituals (M)

Nezumi is a courtesan in the West Block, Shion is a student from Lost Town who conveniently loses his way and gets caught up in Eve's graces. She offers him possibly the most memorable moment of his life, and he's so close to giving in, but Eve is too much for an innocent Shion to handle. But can a relationship blossom between two that are so different?

Post-series

On the Clock (Not Rated)

Post-series bakery shenanigans. Warning for general offensiveness on Nezumi's part.

We Shall Dance Again (G)

A journey forward; a journey back. This was how Nezumi had changed.

Quietly (G)

In which Shion has a surprise for Nezumi and Nezumi plans for the near future.

Communication Breakdown (T)

[Post-series, post-hypothetical future reunion.] Shion has issues maintaining a work/life balance. Nezumi takes issue with these issues.

First Snow's Kiss (T)

After a fight with Shion, Nezumi sets out to make it the Christmas Shion always wanted.

Statistical Outlier (T)

[Post-series] Shion, sex, and statistics. And Nezumi.

Together (T)

Shion isn’t really sure how to act now that Nezumi’s returned. There’s time between them that won’t ever return, but he’s so glad to have him back. Domestic as hell.

Junior is curious (M) Funny and cute and sexy, this one has everything

"Ah, so you've seen them making a baby too?"

Shion's Birthday (M)

Nezumi has planned the perfect evening for Shion's birthday. It will be romantic, thoughtful, sweet, and most importantly, it will end in mind-blowing sex! Of course, even the best laid plans rarely go accordingly.

Good morning, Love (M)

All pretence of sleep was gone from his voice hearing the excuse Shion made to get up this early on a Sunday sounded ridiculous enough to get most of his attention. There was no way that Nezumi and their warm bed was going to be abandoned because of some damn sewer pipes. He was going to make sure of that!

nothing gold (M)

if Nezumi stayed.

Captivate (E)

"He pulled his brows into a frown and twisted in his seat to regard Shion with one slate-colored eye, noting the soothing, benign curve of his pink lips and how it was utterly belied by the stark heat in his eyes." In which Shion Insists and Nezumi is doomed to fail.

Étude (E)

"I'll show you," Nezumi grins. He disentangles his arms so he can cup Shion's head with both hands. "Again."

Still (E)

Nezumi decides to give up a little control.

To The Simple Two (E)

Shion has a proposal. Nezumi has a counter-proposal. Fluff and porn ensue.

Here's Everything I've Always Meant to Say (E)

There's a first time for everything.

In Knots (E)

Shion had never seen Nezumi wear a tie before.

Akame (E)

Stage Fright (E)

Sion lacks appreciation for the finer points of playing dress-up.

About Shion's topping and embarrassed Nezumi (E)

Little humor story from Nezushi daily life. It can be treated like a standalone story or part of my "Not Perfect" universe. It's about idea of Shion getting banned from being on the top by Nezumi.

Reunion

Chances and Choices (T)

After the fall of No. 6, Nezumi left Shion with the promise of coming back. After ten years, fate decided to let their paths cross once again.

Revolution (T)

Six years have passed after Nezumi's departure. Even though the progress of the Restructural Committee is like an untamed wave of changes and improvements, some people are unsatisfied and more than tired Shion thinks he has failed. Will he ever be able to look in these beautiful grey eyes again? Or will his guilt consume him?

Revolution EX: In a starlit night (M) (tecnically postseries but oh well)

It’s a starlit summer night. A busy one at that, since Nezumi and Shion move into the attic of an old ivy-clad red clinker house, which is completely surrounded by nature. What a perfect place to care for their deep, invisible scars the past had carved into their souls… A sequel to Revolution.

When Constellations Collide (M) (this is actually in evey categroy)

Everything felt easier in the dark, Shion thought. Now he was starting to understand why Nezumi preferred it. 5 + 1 times Nezumi and Shion share a bed.

Summer Days (M)

Four years have passed since Nezumi left Shion behind. Both of them are living a solitary live… Will they find their warmth again? - This is a story about hot summer days in the Western District. Reunion. Home, Sweet Home. And of course lemony boy's love!

The Sun in Jericho (M)

Ten years have passed since Nezumi left No. 6 at his back. He's seen much of the world and even found a place to call home, but his thoughts keep returning to a promise he made when he was too young to be making such heavy promises. So he decides, somewhat on a whim, to keep it. It's only to appease his conscience, of course; this decision has nothing to do with his curious inability to get a certain person out of his mind. Nothing at all.

No Man is an Island (M)

It's been 4 years, 22 days, 5 hours, and 21 minutes since the last time he kissed Nezumi.

Redeemed (M)

Their Five Stages (M)

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Where the five stages of grief become the five stages of reunion for Shion and Nezumi. Rated M for the last chapter.

Not Perfect (M) I actually had to edit the post to add this one bc I FORGOT wtf is wrong with me I love this fic im officially the worst, however i dont think there's anyone in the fandom that haven't read it. SORRY DEAR AUTHOR

The four years passed after Wall fell. Shion is losing fight with his health and loneliness. Will Nezumi's return help him? It’s been said that life is full of ups and downs.

In Memory Lock'd (E)

I Loved Ophelia (E) I love this one, my favorite reunion so far

Some things are found where you least expect them. Shion and Nezumi are challenged to deal with their feelings for each other and live with the scars from their pasts.

And so we meet again… (T)

Incandescence (M)

Shion is drawn to sharp things.

Canon

affectionate (G)

Shion can’t be entirely certain on whether or not Nezumi is, or has ever been, affectionate, but he can say with confidence that he has a way to check.

Beside You (T)

Shion gets worried when Nezumi catches a cold, much to the other boy's annoyance.

but let's not talk of love or chains (M) This one is so incredible good, im not even kidding

Nezumi promised Shion they would reunite. He never said when, or how long he would stay. Five years later, he’s still figuring that out himself. Nezumi returns before he’s ready and finds that Shion has grown up without him – but for some reason, Shion still welcomes him back. In which Nezumi is forced to reconcile his conflicting fear and love, the pain in his past and the uncertainty of his future, and decide if freedom is worth the price of belonging nowhere at all.

Surrender (M)

Shion & Nezumi have a fight that leads to a very memorable night. Their emotional connection is so beautiful, I thought their physical one should be too. <3

The Most Beautiful Thing That Ever Was (E)

After everything has happened, we are left wondering what Nezumi and Shion's relationship has become. Nezumi has always teased Shion about being naively moronic, but what if Shion ends up teaching Nezumi a thing or two about the matters of the heart? And what about the way in which he presents his lesson?

Life Swap

In the Shadow of No. 6 (T)

No. 6 is no utopia. After twelve years suffocating under the city's constant surveillance, Nezumi is determined to escape. But just when he manages to crawl out from under No. 6's watchful eye, he finds himself the captive of a West Block terrorist group.

Beyond the Shadow of No. 6 (T)

Continuation of In the Shadow of No. 6; a glimpse in the days of those left behind, 4 years later.

Fateswap (T)

Nezumi grows up in his village... sort of... while Shion is captured and taken to the Correctional Facility at a young age. How will events play out with the roles reversed? And what will happen to the third option?

Fateswap Beyond (T)

The post-script to the Fateswap universe you've all been waiting for. Contains light smut.

Gender Bend

Inner Beauty (G)

It starts with a question that's innocent enough: "Can I braid your hair?"

Small Mercies (T)

Rikiga dotes on Shion. Nezumi does not approve.

Behind Closed Doors (T)

Shion has no fashion sense. Nezumi decides it's time to go shopping.

Domesticity (M)

Shion makes hamburgers and fries, she's pretty tired of soup afterall.

Authors (with a lot of amazing works that Im to lazy to list)

Nezumiprefersdanielleovershakespeare

Enflashings

Triste

Ahiku

Secretagentfan

Elanra

Vox

There are some authors that I’ve read and loved but I cant for the life of me remember their name, I will edit this post if I remember

I hope my long-ass list is helpful :D

#no.6 #nezushi #nezumi #shion #rec fic list #no.6 fanfiction #i've tried to keep it simple but some of this are just too good

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