#meanwhile in Harker...

[see-arcane]

The trains go only so quick

The weather’s only so calm

For the people are all out

For celebration’s a balm

Our good friend sighs in shelter

Barred from revelry and fear

A storied local greets him

As a thunderhead draws near

Preface: For maximum effect, give, “Dracula’s Guest,” a read before proceeding.

The PDF version of the preview is here.

2

Walpurgisnacht

Munich held onto him longer than he would have liked. Had he been marooned in the place as a mere visitor he would never have opted to haunt the station rather than milling around through the celebrating streets. There was as much reveling as reverence at work due to the holiday. The far end of it, anyway. Jonathan had tucked a note on it in his schedule. Celebration meant delays even in the most sedate locales and there was every chance that this one’s might postpone his conveyance. He smiled tiredly at the shorthand, if only so he did not torture himself with looking at his watch for the third time in as many minutes.

‘Walpurgisnacht. Walpurgis Night. A holy day held in respect to Saint Walpurga, the 8th century abbess who warred with illness, pestilence, witchcraft and grim spirits. A time of grave superstition by dark and relieved gaiety by sunup with the witches and the dead all banished. The date has a predecessor in the form of the May Day festivals of old, making the time one of bonfires and fear, beauty and feasting.’ And apparently keeping the trains held up so that any wandering spirits cannot flee too far from the cemeteries.

Jonathan tucked the note away with the rest and battled with himself over whether he dared to stray from the platform or not. His train was meant to arrive at seven o’ clock, which meant that for safety’s sake he ought to be ready and waiting by six, even if the train was more likely to appear closer to eight. But the hour was now half-past five and he had taken his lunch early that day. He was down to rationing mints from their tin lest he give in to hunger and try to elbow his way through the crowded streets to find a restaurant. One that he would not even have time to truly enjoy, needing to eat speedily and flee back to the tracks. His stomach pinched him in protest. He held a fist against it to muffle a growl.

“You can wait.” He could. If there was no dining on the train, he would still make time for breakfast in Vienna. Or if not breakfast, lunch in Klausenburgh. Or… “Or I could just break and get a room for the night.” The words were a sigh. He had spied a hotel sitting in a picturesque spot near a spread of wild greenery that bled into woodlands. What was the name? “Quatre Saisons, I think,” he said under his breath. This, like the rest of his murmured commentary, was meant for no ears but his own. The festivities had left the station remarkably barren. Everyone who had traveled to or from the area wouldn’t be packing up until at least the next morning. So it came as a surprise when he heard a voice behind his head:

“You are an Englishman?”

Jonathan turned to see a man almost as young as himself peering down at him. A cluster of wild roses at his breast was the only flourish to his apparel. His expression was unreadable apart from an angle of suspicion to the brows.

“I am,” Jonathan allowed, grateful that he didn’t need to strain his tongue or the man’s ears with his fragmented German.

“You have come from the Quatre Saisons?” The suspecting angle deepened.

“No, but I was thinking I may have to book a room if the train comes too late.”

The man’s face softened at this, his posture relaxing an increment as he insisted, “The train will come late. Not too late, but still late. You must not bother with the Quatre Saisons either way.”

“Is it full?”

“Most rooms always fill in advance of these days. Inns and hotels shall all be swarmed from now until the seventh of May. But Herr Delbrück’s Quatre Saisons must not be tried. The place is not well this time of year.”

“I do not quite follow,” Jonathan said, his nose just catching the whiff of past toasts to the date on his companion’s breath. “How is it not well?”

“The land it sits with. It is bad to be near it, even after Walpurgisnacht has been and gone. There are…” the man seemed to catch himself on a word before pressing on, “…wild dogs that roam the forest and its valley. Strange souls who would take after the devils of last night, even as we light the fires against them. No, you must not stay there until at least the thick of summer. Better to try in the city’s heart if you must have a room.”

The rooms that were full of visitors already, according to the young man himself. Either way it still relied on Jonathan potentially spoiling the entirety of the client’s route as laid out and paid for from his own account. The idea of taking a room and gambling on a morning train was only a daydream. Jonathan almost said as much.

Instead, “I do not need a room, really. I can hardly risk missing the evening’s train by a minute. But I thank you for the advice, sir.” The young man frowned at Jonathan then, his eyes roaming the length of him in a searching way. “Are you waiting on the train as well?”

“I just purchased my ticket for the morning. It is better to travel by day. And to eat by it too.” He nodded at Jonathan. “You have not been in the city itself? You have partaken of nothing?”

“Sadly no. If I were here on my own account I should have liked to see more, but—,”

“The train will not come any earlier if you sit and starve.”

“Likely not. But I cannot risk wandering too far.” He regarded his luggage drearily. No, he dared not even risk a restaurant. Even the next stop would allow him only a glimpse of the city as he rushed from one point to the next. Perhaps he could find some time to wander when he reached the hotel, but not before. He clenched his belly against another snarl and popped another mint in his mouth. Only three left, but, “Would you care for one?”

The young man whispered something in his homeland’s tongue—it sounded to Jonathan like, “Better to have the leaves,”—but in English said, “I would. Thank you.” He laid it on his tongue as if it were a medicine pill. “But it is still not a supper. Take yourself away for a meal at least, Herr Englishman.”

So saying, the young man departed, perhaps for his own plate or hotel. Jonathan swallowed a sigh and put the tin away. Looking around he saw he really was the last one on the platform apart from one dozing woman playing chaperone to her family’s luggage. Her husband had taken the two sulking children back out into the streets to burn off some energy. With the surly toddlers and the brief conversationalist departed, the space felt oddly like an island. Even the clamor that leaked in from the mouth of the tracks was muted. Jonathan tried to bury himself in a book, but gave up as the text swam before his eyes.

What rest he had gotten was as thin as his last meal was distant. If he could only lay down and sleep through the hunger he might be satisfied, but that risked drowsing through the train whistle itself. He tucked the book away and took himself to the closest opening which showed the beginnings of twilight oozing over the tracks. His hand went again to the neglected journal at his heart and thought another apology at its pages. So far he’d only managed to jot his name within the cover.

“I am sorry,” he told the air. “My head is in no state for you yet.”

A sudden cold gust blew his words back. There was a rise of distraught voices from outside as the breeze whipped through. In the next moment there was a shift in the palette of the sky as a weighty cloud rolled over the last of the sun, plunging the outdoors into early dusk. After that came the pattering of hail. The last festive sounds turned to a disgruntled din before their noise was drowned entirely by the hammering on the station’s roof. Jonathan pulled his coat tight around him and wished luck out to the revelers.

Between one blink and the next, one of the latter manifested at the threshold below. She wore what would have been an immaculate costume of a bygone age if not for the burns that had assailed the fine old dress. Though perhaps that was merely a desired effect. She was likely going around as some witch or spirit who had escaped the bonfires’ efforts during the night. Between the platform’s glow and the outdoors’ new gloom she certainly possessed the half-lit look of a ghost.

The sort of ghost meant for a stage, he added to himself. She has an actress’ face.

Yes, an actress powdered and dressed to be a dead beauty. Her mouth was a full and somber curl of red against a carcass’ pallor. She carved it into a smile as she stared up at him, seemingly oblivious to the cold and hail at her back.

“Are you alright?” he asked in his stilted German. The woman only kept her faded eyes upon him. They had a pull to them that Jonathan couldn’t place. He found himself approaching the tracks’ edge before he realized his feet were moving. “Do you need help?” he added, wondering if the trouble was just a matter of shelter. The tracks were set deep and it would be a hassle to hoist oneself up to the platform’s edge.

“He tries again,” said the woman on the tracks. Possibly. Her German was almost as fractured as his own, albeit with a different inflection. “Another sent for. Another to travel with. Fast, fast, fast.” The sky growled at her words. A stage’s effects could do no better. With the thought in mind, he wondered:

Is this a performance?

Before he could ask, his stomach spoke for him. It was mortifyingly loud and the thunder’s next peal did not do enough to cover it. The woman’s expression cracked on a wider smile. She recited:

“Help, Heaven, help! who knows the Father

Knows surely that he loves his child:

The bread and wine from the hand divine

Shall make thy tempered grief less wild.”

Jonathan smiled back, glad to recall the verse. He and Mina had gone over it in the original text and the English for practice and preference’s sake. Lenore’s lines fell from him:

“Oh! mother dear mother! the wine and the bread

Will not soften the anguish that bows down my head;

For bread and for wine it will yet be as late

That his cold corpse creeps from the grim grave’s gate.”  

The woman’s grin now bared teeth. They were brilliantly white against the crimson of her lips.

“Are you meant to be Lenore?” Jonathan asked.

“Lenore sought her lover. I sought only death.” Her hand rose toward him. “Will you help me find it?”

Thunder boomed as a new wind rolled through the station like a howl. The woman’s ruined dress and hanging hair danced wildly on her, though she seemed not to notice. Jonathan went toward her, deciding whatever act she adhered to would be better performed out of the elements’ reach. His hand reached down to hers. There was a moment when their fingers brushed and Jonathan felt sick at how frozen she felt even through his glove.

In the same instant he saw the dancing of lightning without. The bolts seemed almost like a great weaving animal, snapping in closer and closer bolts along the blackened sky. Intuition tightened in his chest. Suspicion leapt to certainty. There was no time to speak—

Get off get off the tracks it’s going to—

—only to grab for her hand.

But not fast enough. Another gale of wind rushed through, this time angled in such a way that it seized and flung him back against the floor. Lightning struck in the same instant. Noise blasted his ears. It was a nigh deafening din made from the crackle of electricity dancing on the tracks and the rattling roar of a thunderclap. Under it, he swore he heard the woman scream.

God oh God oh God hospital what is the word for hospital I need the dictionary I need—

He scrambled to his feet and back to the platform’s edge. His breath stayed trapped in his chest until he looked down.

And saw nothing.

There was no woman, alive or dead. He gawped for almost a minute at the bare tracks. The hail thinned away as he stared and the thunder softened to a grumble.

How..?

“You are hurt?”

Jonathan looked up and found the dozing mother had left her heap of baggage to check on him.

“No, no, not hurt. But there was someone…” He gestured at the tracks and limped through a few lines of German before she shooed his words away with her hand, switching briskly to English. He explained the scene in full and the mother nodded with something between grave intensity and a sprightly eagerness.

“Yes, there would still be some who wander late. Walpurgisnacht is night and day. Probably she is drifting back to her tomb, sulking that she did not get company for her bier. If you had your gloves off and showed your ring she may have not bothered. Lovers who die before the wedding day, they are the greediest souls on these nights.”

This she said with great authority and Jonathan had no desire to mention that he wore no ring as yet. No more than he had any urge to voice his suspicion that the woman had been very much alive and somehow made it away from the station’s threshold before the lightning could do any damage.

The other explanation is that the woman was, in fact, a roaming ghost come to collect a new member for the graveyard. It is the time of year for such things.  

A call from the other end of the station turned the mother’s head. Father and children had come in from the storm, as had a smattering of other travelers. The train whistle bayed not long after. Jonathan looked to the tracks again as if the woman might suddenly rematerialize in the locomotive’s path. The only body that he could see was the outline of some animal at the edge of the platform’s glow. It looked like a large dog posed beside the tracks, tail still and eyes lambent. Jonathan held its stare for a moment. Then it was gone, loping off into the night.  

This. This is worth writing about.

And it was. At least once his seat had him in it and a wonderfully dense meal sat in him. He brought out his stationery pages for the cause, jotting the entirety of his time in the station up to the arrival of the train. These loose sheets were reserved specifically for storytelling and recipe preservation, the better to possibly be scrapbooked away at home. The journal still drowsed in his pocket.

Hold out for the hotel room. Almost there.

Jonathan cupped a hand to his eyes to keep out the glare as he watched the world go by in the window. The storm was left behind now and the sky was all stars above rooftops and treetops alike. A brilliant wedge of a moon shined out at him. He was still admiring the view when the steward came along to tap his shoulder. There was a smile on his face but a glimmer of anxiety in his eye.

“Herr Harker, yes?”

“Yes,” Jonathan managed before the steward produced a telegram.

“For you. Will you have another drink?”

“No, thank you.” But the glass was already stolen away and refilled before he could finish the sentence. The steward vanished in nearly the same instant, looking as if he meant to finish the bottle himself. Jonathan puzzled over this a moment before turning his attention to the telegram.

BISTRITZ.

My friend, I send all apologies to you on account of the trains and the time. We arranged our meeting during the heart of much fervor, and such will always meddle with travel. I send this in anticipation of your own frustrations with the hindered hours and my gratitude for your steadfastness. I hope it shall please you to know that the Hotel Royale has its finest suite reserved and waiting for you, and so too for the Golden Krone of Bistritz after them. May their hospitality be a balm against the troubles of a passenger at the mercy of fickle clocks. —Dracula

Jonathan marveled at the message. It was a rarity in itself to have a client who made no fuss when it came to snags that the firm had no control over. To have one who foresaw said snags and went out of his way to apologize to the solicitor himself was unheard of. And from a noble?

He added the telegram to his memoranda with a smile. 

[aster-blogging-dracula]

Jonathan Harker really said "The best I can do is act like I don't know what's going on even tho I do" and acted it out so well that more than a century later people will go as far as reading his diary and still think he doesn't know what's going on

[thegoatsongs]

Jonathan expressed comfort at the thought of being in a space in which women of old lived their "sweet lives" whose hearts beat lovesick in their "gentle" chests, and he desired to rest in there, as a sanctuary from the presence of the Master of the castle (only to be ''wakened'' in a monstrous version of that safe space).

Now in Budapest, he is healing in a space inhabited also by women, and surrounded by them. Ones who commend his "sweetness" and "gentleness".

[vickyvicarious]

van Helsing: I don't want to rush you, I know you're still recovering, so I only have a few questions for now...

Jonathan: Hang on. Are you planning to deal with the Count?

van Helsing: ...yes.

Jonathan: Great, cause so am I. Let's fuck him up!

[harbingerofsoup]

the irony of the suitors believing Mina couldn’t handle knowing anything when she is handling the horrors better than them

[see-arcane]

Seriously. If writer-directors were forced to throw even passingly book-accurate versions of the characters into an adaptation it'd just be

Van Helsing: "Oh, you're a vampire. Huh. Cool, I guess? But I was kind of hoping for something more impressive. Lycanthropy, maybe a Wiedergänger situation."

Dracula, collecting pissed off significant others of multiple Victorians who can and will be directly responsible for Wrecking His Shit Personally: "Did I ask," -checks smudged note on his hand- "Professor Etcetera?"

Writer-Director through gritted teeth: "Van Helsing. Your archenemy??"

Dracula: "I don't know her"

Van Helsing in movie adaptations: Dracula's nemesis

Van Helsing in the book: Dracula's real estate lawyer's wife's girlfriend's fiancé's boyfriend's university professor

[lauralot89]

Got bored and decided to tally how many diary entries/letters/telegrams/memoranda/whatever each character in Dracula has

I included in this tally notes and telegrams and whatnot that did not get their own entries, so long as we saw the actual text of said items. So, for example, I counted Jonathan's notes on Carfax shared on May 7 as their own separate entry, but did not count his secret letters to Mina and Mr. Hawkins from May 28, as we didn't see the text of those. I did not count "later in the day" updates to journal entries as new, separate entries, unless there were other people's entries between them. My thinking was that if Stoker gave us a May 12 entry by Jonathan immediately followed by a May 12, Later entry, they were mean to be read in one go. Meanwhile, if Seward gives us a diary entry from the morning of September 29, and then we go check in with Mina and Jonathan before coming back to Seward on the evening of the 29th, that was meant to be read as its own separate thing.

The tallies:

Jack Seward: 54

Mina Harker: 43

Jonathan Harker: 41

Captain of the Demeter: 10

Van Helsing: 10

Lucy Westenra: 9

Arthur Holmwood: 4

Count Dracula: 2

The Dailygraph: 2

The Westminster Gazette: 2

Rufus Smith: 2

Quincey Morris: 1

Mr. Hawkins: 1

Sister Agatha: 1

The Pall Mall Gazette: 1

Samuel F. Billington: 1

Carter, Paterson & Co: 1

Patrick Hennessey: 1

Jack Smollet: 1

Mitchell, Sons & Candy: 1

[fandomaddictwut]

I went into Dracula daily knowing almost nothing about Dracula and i absolutely could not have predicted a single thing that’s happened so far. Canon wife guy Johnathan Harker goes on a quick business trip and gets homoerotically kidnapped by an eccentric teaboo who is also pretending to be his own servants when Johnathan isn’t looking. Meanwhile his fiancée’s bestie has been proposed to by three different men, including a 1897 podcaster and a cowboy. Dracula steals Johnathan’s credit card and starts wearing his clothes around town, then boards a ship and eats the entire crew before realizing he doesn’t know how to sail.

[freuleinanna]

ngl van helsing and mina's relarionship is very very dear to me and does in fact have me in chokehold

we're expecting jack seward to be van helsing's protégé, them being academics and jack having been vh's student. and yet jack is the least flexible in his beliefs. meanwhile mina, despite not having any relevant education, demonstrates all qualities that van helsing seeks and respects!

she's anticipating the need for a record and typewrites her and jonathan's diaries in advance, plus later continues her task to make sure they all have access to the least available bit of information (to which van helsing refers a LOT closer to the end)

she's quick-minded and can surprise the old professor (cue the 'teehee sure read my diaries oops it's in shorthand' scene, after which vh basically goes I AM ADOPTING HER, teary-eyed)

she has a chronical case of understanding him instantly. parallel the scene with jack 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ELEPHANTS LIVE LONGER' seward and the scene with mina 'SAY NO MORE I GOT YOU DRACULA IS FLEEING BACK HOME' harker, it's just so funny to me

van helsing constantly saying how he needs jack to have an open mind, yet here's madam mina, self-educated on the horrors in castle dracula, asking van helsing himself to keep an open mind as he reads the diaries!

in van helsing's memorandum he says she obediently does anything he asks. she even gets up to leave the wafer circle, although she can't. like.... she knows that van helsing is testing her, and helps willingly. she feels the changes in herself, and she allows her friend to carry out his research too.

they are SO quick to follow each other's thoughts! mina discovers hypnotism as means to speak freely and calls for van helsing right away. and he gets her without missing a beat

don't even get me started on every time mina saves the situation and van helsing muttering 'wonderful woman!' under his breath. he cares for her so deeply it's insane and heart-warming and bittersweet

and that damn november 4 entry? van helsing being afraid, afraid, afraid! of mina and the changes she undergoes. yet he continues to care about his friend. huge thanks to @re-dracula for bringing each emotion to life in such a vivid manner

in conclusion, mina harker is van helsing's spiritual kin and i am not normal about it

[madnessatdawn]

Knowing Araki and his westernbo ways. He was likely going for dracula mixed with inspiration from fist of the north star.

I can imagine him reading dracula and seeing all these different adaptations. And thinking why doesn't anyone do Jonathan justice? Yes dracula can be an amazing villain but like why do all these things ignore the guy. Okay NO I'll make my own version where he's huge and buff but still a sweet gentlemen that loves his bride to be.

Sadly it did take a while for him to put a cowboy in Jojo but he did do it, which makes it more accurate by default. 🤠

So like... as someone with JJBA brainrot, is it wrong to imagine my good friend Jonathan Harker as Jonathan Joestar??

Both are 1800s English boys facing vampires

[lasarusbird]

About the love quote. The thing is such quotes were made possible to be put in the movie because cinematic history of Jonathan Harker and Dracula was skewing in favour of Dracula and/or Van Helsing since 1931. Jonathan was sidelined and demoted to secondary character who never went to Transylvania while the hero was Van Helsing. Dracula was promoted to basically villainous lead at the same time. In next big 1958 movie Harker went to Transylvania and literally died there. Meanwhile, Dracula had his epic battles with Van Helsing who again was main character. Since 1960s Jonathan was already directly either cuckolded by Dracula or killed off in various screen adaptations. Cinema (plural) made Dracula and Van Helsing into breakout characters in popular culture. While demoting Harker to “some guy” character general audiences doesn’t even remember.

☝️

[see-arcane]

This reminds me Alucard Hellsing is Dracula with beyond mary sue levels of power, and inspires me to let Jonathan and Mina have as many abilities as they want, as a treat, no matter what people may say lol

Usagi would kill him still because I say so

Dramatic version:

Alucard somehow gets around Hirano's weird 'only opposite sex turnings can happen and only with virgins!!' rule and turns Jonathan against his will for 'worthy adversary/thrall/fledgling' reasons (Death/Undeath 1). Usagi does some magical painless mercy kill (Death 2) and then spends the rest of the scene whacking Alucard over the head with a scepter.

Delicious Narrative Justice version:

The Harkers are still kicking and full of anime overkill supernatural powers. Melee ensues. Usagi does some kind of reincarnation beam and Jonathan and Mina get reborn to live their lives in peace. Alucard is still Alucard so he takes a while before limping home to Integra. He will never wash out all the glitter.

Most Likely version:

Alucard: Jonathan! It's been forever! Look, I got turned into an Englishman after all! By Van Hel(l)sing. Who is...somehow no longer a Dutchman? Did he move to England and have a kid late in life to start up his anti-vampire foundation? Eh, doesn't matter. I'm voiced by Crispin Freeman, I'm full of anime demon magic, and the leather looks great on me. I'm content. Please kill me in shounen horror combat please please p l e a s e Anderson left me hanging decades ago PLEASE--

Usagi: Oh wow, it's gross around here. Hold on. -uses sparkling cosmic grade divinity to zap the zombies and Nazi vampires into cherry blossom petals- What were we talking about? You mentioned spice cake and German chocolate.

Jonathan, trying to ignore how distressingly happy Alucard is now that he's got the kukri out: I'm willing to offer you a wedding cake-tiered helping of both if you put me out of my misery.

[moroniccats]

Just started Dracula and am amazed by the contrast between:

Jonathan Harker: I’m trapped inside this haunted maze of a castle with blood sucking creatures and am slowly going insane due to the psychological torture being inflicted on me.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

Lucy: omg I like, totally like Arthur, but I don’t know if he likes me back >\\\<

Girlboss Working Woman Mina and Random Cowboy: OMG go for it bestie, you are SUCH a catch.

[another-chaotic-bisexual-vampire]

In Leonard Wolf's Essential Dracula, there's a footnote with a recipe for Paprika Hendl as it would've been served to Jonathan Harker:

I wholeheartedly recommend modifying this recipe as it's very "grandma cooking" in the sense that it automatically assumes you know how to do certain Common Kitchen Techniques For Victorian Cooks (like, you know, just make flour dumplings with zero instructions) - so here's my best take on the recipe, below the cut:

PAPRIKA HENDL À LA ESSENTIAL DRACULA (makes 6 servings)

4 lbs young chicken

2 tablespoons fat (substitute: oil)

2 large onions, chopped

2 tablespoons Hungarian Paprika (I went with Sweet)

1/2 cup tomato juice

2 tablespoons flour

1/2 cup sour cream

Cut chicken into serving sized portions

In a skillet, lightly brown onions in fat/oil

Blend in HALF the Hungarian Paprika into the skillet of sizzling oil & onions

To the skillet of spiced & browned onions, add the tomato juice and chicken, cover the skillet, and let simmer for ONE (1) WHOLE HOUR

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, beat flour into sour cream

After that 1 hour, remove chicken from skillet and set it aside on a plate, wrap in tin foil, and contain in oven/microwave to keep warm

In the still simmering sauce in the skillet, add the flour & sour cream mixture and add to the sauce with the remaining Paprika. Let simmer, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes or until well-blended

Pour half the skillet's sauce through a sieve or colander into a sauce boat - set aside sauce boat for serving later

Return chicken to skillet with still simmering sauce until fully warmed back up

Serve chicken on a warm platter, pouring the skillet's sauce over it and with the sauce boat on the side

Serve with flour dumplings

NOTES

1) Simmering 4 lbs of store-bought chicken breast in only 1/2 a cup of tomato juice for 1 WHOLE HOUR had me panicking and adding water and whatever canned tomatoes I could find just so I didn't burn the chicken (and the kitchen) as that was not nearly enough tomato juice to keep 4 lbs of chicken simmering for 60 solid minutes - so please modify at will, comparing with other recipes, etc.

2) The recipe calls for taking out the finished sauce and putting it through a "food mill" so I tried putting the sauce in a blender to try and turn the onions into sauce as well. DO NOT DO THAT. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. It was a disastrous mess. That's why I modified the recipe above to just pour half the sauce through a colander into a sauce boat.

3) Oh, I'm just supposed to make flour dumplings from scratch?? I cobbled together a recipe off the internet in that long hour of simmering, the source of which has since strayed from thought and time (apologies) - so I would heartily recommend either buying store-bought flour dumplings or looking up a flour dumpling recipe ahead of time, as making them from scratch for the first time with a simmering skillet beside you is Quite Tricky

4) I added more Paprika than the recipe called for (gasp!) and honestly... I would recommend DOUBLING the Paprika in this recipe. My partner and I wanted more Paprika!! But we are fans of spiced meat actually tasting like spices and not a subtle "oh yeah I guess there's Paprika in there"

Even with all that improvising on an 125+ year old recipe with missing steps, it made for the most delicious comfort food. 14/10, would eat again with queer dreams

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Regarding your tags on the relationships post about if you want to talk crossovers too, how do you see Varney with the Harkers too in your scenario? given among other things their feelings towards vampires and vampire-hunting humans respectively? Mina is a strange case of someone who has been one foot on both worlds, who lost someone to a vampire, but she also knows his despair and spiraling well. Jonathan has been both vampire victim and vampire killer, but only met ones he ended up hating (sans his wife). An interesting mix!

The inbox is treating me so well lately.

Varney and the Harkers is a fun dynamic because the Harkers have never before met a vampire who is just an absolute clown at vampiring. Their initial intense suspicions of him cool rapidly when he panics at Jonathan's giant knife, tries to jump out the window and fails, then nearly passes out from hunger. Once they've sat down to talk to him a bit I think they'd be sympathetic; his situation would feel like a window into what nearly happened to Mina. Far from Dracula's enthusiastic sorcery and bloodthirst, Varney is just saddled with vampirism and has to deal with it. Mina "mercy kill me if I turn" Harker would relate to how he feels.

The poor dear. He doesn't like to shed blood, he's constantly being pursued by mobs and/or dying various horrible/embarrassing deaths, he struggles to keep himself fed...being a new vampire must be so rough. Wait, what do you mean he's 500 years old.

(The Harkers, nerds that they are, would be very interested in all the stories he has to tell. Although no one is more interested in the stories than baby Quincey, who has decided the funny long man is his new favorite babysitter.)

Meanwhile Varney, who is still lowkey scared of Jonathan due to a) him clocking Varney as a vampire on sight and b) the giant knife, doesn't want to impose on this set of young parents, no really you do NOT have to offer me blood I'll be fine I can stand [nearly falls over again]

...too late, pal, you've activated the Harker pack bonding instincts. They WILL offer you their guest room after a brief misunderstanding where they debate for 5 minutes about how to obtain proper grave soil while you attempt to explain that you would rather sleep in a bed. And then the next thing you know you're friends with all their friends and you babysit their child twice a week and they're inviting you over for Christmas dinner.

Varney can try to run away from his fate but the next angry mob will coincidentally wash him up on their doorstep again, and the final straw will be learning how much Quincey missed him while he was gone.

(He's conflicted. He remembers killing his own son, or he thinks he does. How can he be trusted around this boy? ...How can he bear to disappoint him?)

And that's how Varney becomes an uncle!

[applepi69420]

Nosferatu and Dracula - A comparison

Hey Hey everyone! As we all know, the re-make of Nosferatu (1922) recently came out in December and I finally watched it last night. Since the OG film is an unauthorized adaptation of Dracula, I thought that I should do a comparison review of the two.

----Brief background----

If you haven't read it, I have done a book review on Bram Stoker's Dracula and I'll link it here!

In the 1922 film, it's expected that some details were altered for the taste of German audiences however, the similarities are everywhere! Despite small details being altered, Stoker's widow sued for copyright and ordered that all copies were to be destroyed. Naturally, some copies survived and now we have the modern Nosferatu.

----Similarities----

In both pieces of media, the two male leads (Jonathan Harker and Thomas Hutter) both work with real-estate firms and are sent to close a deal with the antagonist (Dracula and Orlok) It's crazy how both of these films are because some vampires wanted prime real-estate smh.

The two female characters in Nosferatu are based on Mina (Jonathan's fiancé) and Lucy (as Ruth in Nosferatu). Their physical attributes and obstacles, despite the changes that were made.

We have the male leads (Jonathan and Thomas) escape the antagonist's castle and they are both found by nuns and delirious. Meanwhile while this is happening, we also have the shipwreck that is transporting the antagonist to his new land (England in Dracula and Germany in Nosferatu respectively)

We have characters representing the insane asylum patient, Renfield, and Van Helsing. Of course, the details of the characters were changed including their attitudes but they all play the roles they were based on and while watching the movie, John Gottowt (Van Helsing's character) is starkly different than his book counterpart. His method and end goals are different (of course, that was the whole point) however, there are enough similarities to where I kind of got tired of it. (This is simply my own opinion, I encourage you to watch/read both pieces to form your own perspective)

I also noticed that the themes regarding societal views and the analogy that both Dracula and Orlok are representations of Satan/death. Vampires are written as satanic creatures who cannot fulfill their blood lust and are weak to Christian symbols like crosses and wafers. This is important symbolism to consider.

Both pieces of media place this societal view and expectation that women are to be chaste and pure, uncorrupted by the evil in the world. With the two female characters, they are both "tainted" and you can see in both works that this causes them to feel outcasted.

If you would like a more in-depth explanation, I would suggest reading my review of Dracula and reading the book!

----Differences----

Of course, we have differences between the two pieces, that being parts of the plot and characters. The main difference is from the female lead, Mina and Ellen, and the events that happen to them.

In the newly released Nosferatu, Ellen is depicted to have been assaulted by Orlok and references him as her shame (as someone who had similar experiences, I can most definitely see similar attributes in response to her trauma), and by the end of the movie, she learns that the vampire can be destroyed if a pure-hearted woman offers him her blood willingly. Basically, she decides to sacrifice herself and after Orlok is defeated, she lives just long enough to see her husband and then DIES. Bruh.

In Bram Stoker's Dracula, Mina is attacked by Dracula after Lucy's death and is now running on limited time. Instead of abandoning her like his movie counterpart, Van Helsing is determined to save Mina and defeat Dracula. The sense of friendship between the characters in the book is much stronger and more defined than the characters in the movie and it's something that really caught my attention. At the end of Dracula, Dracula is defeated and Mina is saved and gets to live a happy life with Jonathan.

To me, the main differences (like I stated above) regard not only the details of the journey that the characters go on but also their bonds with each other and their goals.

----Overall review----

All in all, I would say that while I enjoyed watching the movie (despite the awkwardness of the sex scene) I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to watch it. I respect it as a piece of media however, I personally enjoy Dracula more. I say this because the characters and plot have more depth which is to be expected after watching a remake based off of an unauthorized adaptation. Like I said, I think you should explore these pieces on your own and form your own opinions and if you have any questions or more to add, feel free to DM me! (Also sorry for the confusing layout of all the characters, it's most definitely a mess)

Overall, I rate this movie 5/10!!