#memory repression
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‘Memories r stinky’
A short comic by me based on a conversation I had with a friend about trying to remember our childhood or even things from a week ago. I made it in Like 10 minutes so thats why it’s kinda scribbly
But I also just like my art scribbly
#trauma#did system#did osdd#did community#mental health#mental illness#mentalheathawareness#memory#memory retention#memory repression#comic art#original comic#comics#mini comic#web comic#my comic#copperkudzueye#digital art#artists on tumblr#art
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I don’t remember being bullied at school but I’m still sure it happened
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The Death of a Memory
I wrote it on a piece of paper
In dark green ink
Folded it up small and tight
And buried it
In the grave of a dream
Without its teeth
It’s just a little story I wrote
In dark green ink
#this one’s about repressed trauma :)#i had a whole thing written about this dream i had the other night#and a bunch of unpleasant feelings it dug up#about something#even here in the tags of this post i can’t bring myself to call it a memory#it just can’t be real. it can’t be#so i decided it’s better to just call a dream a dream#and forget the other part of it#and i really did write it down with a green pen and fold it up and hide it away#idk why i couldn’t bring myself to throw it in the trash#idk why im keeping it#probably something to psychoanalyze there#but i’d rather never think about this again lol#poetry#my poetry#my writing#spilled ink#memory repression#writeblr
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Finished a rewatch. Love these two.
It was fun toggling my style just a smidge. I need a break from my usual or I'm gonna go crazy.
#fanart#drawing#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#i just feel like Ford doesn't handle embarrassment well#he's been repressing that memory for forty odd years
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Final Wonderland - Kururingo
Pokemon canon why do I have to do everything myself!?
Final Wonderlands your Subway Bosses lol
Sketches that turned into a lot more than the first study I did for fun... I may return to this idea when I have time... Alas editing a video on my phone sounds like a nightmare at the moment. ≧ ﹏ ≦
#submas#pokémon#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#musharna#chandelure#eelektross#excadrill#chimeart#When musharna eats a nightmare the mist they release is dark#look! submas reunion where Ingo has memories and it's only a little dark? Maybe idk kururingo's vocaloid songs are legendary#I wanted to draw Giratina as a carousel horse so bad but couldn't figure it out... perhaps when I finish this project#Ingo is still kidnapped by Giratina in this timeline btw#I only give reasons for Emmet to beat Volo's ass lol#repressed memory ingo is like a mental block... he's not actually real like how it works in anime where you fight your mental disorders#Fun fact my computer lost its ability to process and play sound a year ago
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Every time someone uwu-ifies Fiddleford, I find a new way for him to cheat on his wife
#because y’all wanna harp on ‘I can’t stand him cheating’#he started a cult and used the memory gun on his boyfriend#but a repressed gay man having an affair is where we draw the line#not wearing your wedding ring and forgetting to get your wife a gift for Christmas is cheater behavior btw#I have good news a character can do something you wouldn’t personally do or condone and still be likable and sympathetic#Fiddleford you imperfect adulterer I love you#Emma-may I love you too sorry your husband’s gay#let my girl be angry at her husband’s betrayal#fiddauthor is Brokeback mountain coded and you know what Jack and Ennis did? have affairs#I don’t think it cheapens their love story or disregards Emma-May’s character#in fact I think it’s honest with a show full of imperfect characters#believe what you want but nobody is asking you to JUSTIFY him cheating#but personally? I can sympathize with queer people who cheat while in a het relationship because there is so much fear and repression#especially historically and considering the assumption that Fiddleford had a religious upbringing#sorry for my rant I just am tired of people abdicating Fiddleford of his sins and making Stanford the only person at fault ever#fiddauthor#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddlesix#fordford#ford^2#fordsquared#emma may dixon#old man mcgucket#old man yaoi
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#🍓#the terror amc#the terror#john irving#cornelius hickey#hickeyirving#MY EDITS#icb i've neglected to post this one here#(unless i did and repressed the memory)
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bkdk got fake married when they were kids and katsuki gets SOOOOO fucking offended when izuku doesn’t remember it. they had a whole ceremony. izuku was made a flower crown as a veil. for weeks afterwards tiny child katuski would walk around the playground hand in hand with izuku and wouldn’t let him let go. he’d go over to inko’s for playdates whenever he wanted to see “his wife”. and they’re talking about stupid childhood stories between like. the bakusquad and maybe todoroki i’d assume. and he’s talking about this and making fun of izuku for how “good of a wife” he was and izuku’s like. “i literally don’t remember that happening. you just made that up” and katsuki’s like what the fuck EVER you’re just pretending cause you’re embarrassed. but at the end of the day, laying in bed in his dorm he stares up at his ceiling like this

#deku ‘has most of his childhood repressed from his memory’ vs bakugou ‘runs through every memory he has of izuku in the middle of the night#and kicks his feet’#mha#boku no hero academia#bnha#bkdk#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya
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What if there was a young clone on Kamino that broke his foot really bad, like bones coming through the skin, blood, ect and this other cadet took him to the infirmary and a medical droid came by and injected the kid with something and he stopped crying so his brother thought ‘oh that must be a pain killer, he’s gonna be okay’ but then he stops breathing too and he realizes the droid just euthanized his brother right there and left without saying a word. Would that be fucked up or what.
#star wars#the clone wars#tcw#clone cadets#kamino#the other cadet represses the memory until one day they’re talking to someone who mentions having a pet put down and he tells them about#that time his brother was put down and he didn’t even realize it ha ha isn’t that silly#and they’re met with a horrified look
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Having delirious thoughts about the use of the word ‘man’ in deltarune. Gingerbread men vs gingerbread monsters is an early example clarifying the use of ‘man’ to mean human and not as a gendered term and this is reenforced in mancountry. All genders are allowed, so man is being used to mean mankind here.
So what does it say that there is a ‘man’ behind the tree?
We know they’re related to some repressed traumatic memory kris had to go to art therapy about. All the other npcs in both egg scenes are darkners kris themselves drew in their past or completely obscured in darkness and kris closes the book on humans when they see pictures of others of their kind. Kris is uncomfortable looking at humans. The man is behind a tree because it’s heavily implied to be how kris repressed the memory of this person’s appearance due to the painting dialogue. Kris and the game do not want to directly show another human but the fact that they exist clearly weighs on kris
#kinda adds another layer to how freaked out kris was to see their own bideo game avatar#deltarune#kris dreemurr#deltarune theory#i know a lot of people interpret the incident that traumatised kris to be to do with dess’ disapearance#and i admit that fits really well storywise#but i cant stop thinking about the hints that this memory happened while kris lived among humans#theres also the hospital layout being different than the one in hometown which could mean nothing i guess but#idk. if the memory was about dess why is the egg scene that has a heavy focus on repression and forgetting set in mancountry
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I hear your “Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji weren’t very close in the past bc Wei Wuxian doesn’t think about him that much as time goes on,” and I raise you, Wei Wuxian deliberately suppresses any and all thoughts of the things that hurt him the most. The fact that Lan Wangji doesn’t come up as often in his internal monologue after they have their falling out indicates just how badly Lan Wangji’s rejection hurt him
#this is also the same reason why wwx rarely thinks about Wen Qing and A-Yuan and the rest of the Wen remnants#the one time he accidentally thinks of a-yuan he shoves that thought out of his head SO FAST#and it’s the same reason why we don’t know how wwx died or what he did alone in the burial mounds#or what he was doing in the years when he was dead#it was TRAUMATIZING! he’s repressing the memory dudes!#mdzs#wei wuxian#wangxian#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mo dao zu shi#my post
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BEHOLD! I gave Pearl chronic headaches! now she's just like me fr fr-
#Eh thought I'd incorporate the whole memory problem thing from a Mermaid's Tale into me AU#She's not like a full blown amnesiac like Shadow the hedgehog or whatever but the more... Troubling memories are repressed#I think it'd be very interesting plot-wise#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#crk#black pearl cookie#member of the salty shark AU#Beached mermaid AU
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“But he was just a child”
So was I
And I’m suffering and he’s not
#cw cocsa#cocsa victim#cocsa vent#cocsa survivor#tw cocsa#csa vent#tw csa implied#csa survivor#tw csa#actually mentally ill#actually ptsd#ptsd vent#personal vent#traumatic experience#actuallytraumatized#mental health#repressed memories
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A different kind of nightmare.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#estinien wyrmblood#thancred waters#its literally just his arm and hair but him being there is still important#behold the concept that zenos has suppressed too much for so long#that if his occasional non-final days nightmares are bad enough (or very rare instances when he's awake)#that his body recognizes it as physical pain because he responds to that more than his own emotions (marginally- anyways)#really “just damn why does this hurt” -> is so sad his heart is going “hey asshole listen to me”#meanwhile poor thancred and estinien getting tossed just for using the scion's communal pillow#estinien was already awake but he wasnt expecting to get lobbed#thancred gets to faceplant because he was asleep on his bicep#this entire things spawned from me doing some writing and theorizing#that zenos unfortunately actually has a really good memory#but he spent so much of his life probably repressing a shit-ton that anything he doesn't deem immediately important#just kinda gets caught in the crossfire#so him being with the scions and working through it#he does start to remember- but its horribly jumbled at the beginning#he has vague memories of his “mother” saying some horrible things (it wasn't her but his conscious fills it in to be her)#because I get the horrible feeling he was probably blamed for her death#and (despite even me affectionally referring to him as murder husband) I write that the reason he dislikes killing unnecessarily#is probably lingering resentment over both his own existence and that “he killed” someone#who he later comes to realize loved him#(because I do like writing that carosa did love him for the brief time they had together ;-; and I will continue to do so)#there's also some aether fuckery going on with him but it only adds to the intensity- not just being the sole cause
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phil & detention (1, 2)
#clearly dan is just so shocked by the idea of phil having detention that he constantly represses the memory sdjfs#dan and phil#phan#amazingphil#phil lester#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#danandphilgames#dpgdaily#dnp gifs#my gifs#parallels#SHOWING BLOWHOLE ON THE BEACH - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 (18)#Getting Deep at the Slumber Party
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I think the worst thing about having very vague/spotty memories because I was so young when it happened is feeling like I can’t ever fully accept that it DID happen. I will always second guess myself—even though the evidence is always with me (the body keeps the score, as they say). I will probably never tell anyone who knows him about it because what if I’m wrong?? What if I’m making up these flashes of “memory”, and seeing “signs” in my present self where there are none just because I want an easy answer that would explain the way that I am???
It would be such a horrible thing to accuse someone of if it wasn’t true. Especially family. Even just thinking it feels cruel and unfair to him sometimes. And there’s no way for me to get the truth unless he were to confess it to me himself.
I fantasize about that sometimes—I like to picture him apologizing to me at some kind of reunion, scared out of his mind that I’ll tell someone about it and ruin his life. Or even unapologetic, making jokes about it. At least then I would have confirmation. At least then I would have validation for the last twenty years of my life.
Anyway if anyone else feels like this, you’re not alone.
#this is not my usual type of post but i feel like im losing my mind i had to get this out#and it’s fathoms easier to put it here than to say anything to anyone who knows me offline#but if you’re someone i actually speak to on this app if you could pretend you didn’t see this that would be great thanks 🙏#trauma posting#ro speaks#childhood trauma#repressed memories#csa survivor#incest survivor#i feel like a fraud using these tags lol#even now i can’t decide if i believe it or not#but like. bro. come on. you know#but DO I??#UGH#vent post#actually traumatized#csa vent#i am feeling very insecure about this post but here we go#trauma journal
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