#michael: i am not a who. a who requires a degree of identity-

[akaikali]

I know everyone says Needles is the Michael of TMAGP but I'm gonna be totally honest, I think Needles is MUCH more like Nikola than Michael.

Someone should draw Michael being cool and mysterious and then there's his weird cousins Nikola and Needles just being. themselves in the background

Additional note: i do actually have a fear of needles which probably makes this post all the funnier

[the-archivist-jmj]

me talking to cis people about my gender: trans man

me talking to trans people about my gender: Michael the Distortion 🌀

[the-pest1lence]

Okay okay okay just got to Kayne, Arthur and John’s first meeting and the entire time I’m just like

I love Kayne so much like idk what it is about him but he’s just a skrunkly little guy

[sybielart]

🌀 “I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain.” 🌀

MAG047 - The New Door

Also inspired by several The Magnus Archives episodes tied to The Distortion, particularly those that explore the themes of unreliable perception, shifting realities, and the horror of never knowing if what you see is real. The way corridors stretch endlessly, doors lead back to where they shouldn't, and voices whisper just out of reach — all of it feeds into an atmosphere of paranoia and existential dread. Anyway, I've absolutely missed the palette I made for Michael Shelley/The Distortion two years ago.

[tim-stroker]

i relate to michael bc sometimes i too am a what not a who bc “who requires a degree of identity i can’t ever retain”. my sense of self exists in a constant vacuum

[avatarofthetired]

Thinking about “who the hell are you?!” “I am not a who, arch👁️vist, I am a what. A who requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain” in MAG 47 and also “who are you?” “I’m Michael. Did the archivist not tell you about me??” in MAG 79

And it COULD mean absolutely nothing, but I Am Not A Who I Am A What went so hard so I’m taking it to mean something

Michael had this Degree of Identity right? He found himself, his identity, in Michael Shelley. He found his identity in his rage and his hated, in his vengeful intent towards the archivist. And that kinda hurts, because Michael Shelley’s rage bled through and created a purpose and a self and pretty much as soon as this happened he was taken out by Helen so

[crochetedblorbos]

"I am not a who, Archivist. I am a what. A who requires a degree of identity I can't ever attain."

Character Name: Michael Shelley | The Distortion

Fandom: The Magnus Archives [podcast]

Voiced By: Luke Booys

Yarn Used: Shoes - CraftSmart Value - Reef Trousers - Loops & Threads Soft Classic - Light Pink Shirt - CraftSmart Value - Fiesta Skin - Loops & Threads Classic - Peach Hair - Loops & Threads Classic - Soft Yellow Mouth - CraftSmart Value - White

Basic pattern here.

When I originally put Michael on this list, I was specifically thinking of the version from “Awake and Unafraid” by @blasphemous-lies-and-deceit, but when I actually got to him I knew I had to do the actual Distortion version. So, sorry about that, maybe I’ll do the Michael Shelley version later…

Anyway. Michael was a lot of fun to do, for a lot of reasons, one of which is that I knew if he came out looking wonky I could point out that he was supposed to be distorted, so it was fine. Luckily for me, he came out exactly how I wanted! He varies from the base pattern as follows:

Shoes: Fan artists always draw him with long pointy shoes, and often floating or seeming to float, so I decided not to do the boots/shoes I usually do. I also decided that, since Michael belongs to the Spiral, I would, well, crochet him in a spiral rather than joining at the end of each row and chaining one! So, to start off each leg, I chained 2, then: R1: 6sc in second ch from hook, tighten (6 sc). R2: 2dc in each st around (12 dc). R3: Sc in front loop of each st around (12 sc). R4-7: Sc in each st around (12 sc). R8: (Sc in first st, dc in next st) around (6 sc, 6 dc).

Trousers: I mostly did these the normal way, except that they were only 12 stitches around rather than 15. For the first round after joining the trouser color to the shoe color, I did the inverse of R8 (dc in first st, sc in next st), then just did straight sc all the way up until I decided they were long enough. I didn’t count rounds really. I wanted it to be a little uncanny.

Shirt: I was really, really, REALLY excited about this. I wasn’t sure how a variegated yarn would work up in this case, but evidently having made him, essentially, six stitches skinnier than usual at the start made this yarn spiral perfectly. I did the tunic exactly how I usually do the torsos, just skinnier; the only other variant, apart from continuing in the spiral pattern, is that I did visible decreases instead of invisible ones. They’re still not super noticeable, but I figured for the Distortion, it would make sense to have these jarring “wait, he visibly got smaller there” stitches.

Head: I did his head in fours instead of sixes to make it longer and skinnier, and I think that worked out well. I also did his nose as a cluster stitch rather than a puff stitch—(yo, draw loop through st, yo, draw loop through first 2 loops on hook) three times, then yo and draw through all loops on the hook—and I think it made it enough of a noticeable variant from usual that it was good. I also discovered that crocheting in a spiral rather than the join-and-chain method, while it does eliminate the ladder at the back of the scalp, makes the rows just uneven enough that it’s slightly noticeable the eyes don’t line up. Which, again, works well for the Distortion. I also didn’t do his scalp in the hair color, but as thick as his hair is, you can’t really tell.

Mouth: I wanted an uncanny valley “too big for his face” kind of grin, so I doubled the yarn and knotted it, then embroidered what I hope came out looking like sharp teeth. I don’t know why I always headcanon Michael with sharp teeth. Maybe it’s the fanart. Anyway, it’s sufficiently unsettling, I think.

Arms: Look at these hands. I am so damn proud of these hands. They’re different, partly by accident and partly by design, but that really adds to the feel, doesn’t it? The pattern was more based on vibes than actual counting necessarily, but basically, I chained 4, turned, sc in second st from hook, sc in next two chs, and then made the fingers by chaining until they felt long enough, turning, and slip stitching down the inside of the chain until I reached the foundation stitches, then added another sc and repeated. Pretty sure it was 4-6-7-9 for one hand, but I didn’t really pay attention to what I did for the other.

I then joined the shirt yarn to the foundation chain, 3sc in first st, sc in next st, 3sc in next st, sc in next st, for a total of 8 sc around to form the cuffs. Then I just…spiraled up, eight stitches at a time, no increases or decreases, until the arms were long enough. I attached them slightly lower on the body than I normally would, but only slightly.

[maythemundy]

"I am not a Who, Archivist, I am a What. A "who" requires a degree of identity I can't ever retain."

// Michael Distortion, The Magnus Archives

I have tma brainrot. So, have some funky Michael Shelley / Distortion

[someoneq]

you can't tell me michael wouldn't absolutely embrace the idea of voidpunk, the not being human, "I am not a Who, Archivist, I am a What. A "who" requires a degree of identity I can't ever attain." like c'mon

[zetsubonna]

I don't really get enough chances in real life to talk about why I love Michael Shelley so much.

Like, Helen Richardson does a great job, her VA, Imogen Harris, does a great job, at conveying the malice inherent in The Distortion, in It Is Not What It Is. And "Ceaseless Watcher" is truly the moment in which Jon seems to embrace his role as The Archivist, and conducts an actual smiting rather than just taking off a rotten branch of a corrupted plant. Helen seems to embrace her role, in the end, to the point of enjoying tormenting The Archivist just a little too much, taking the joke too far, taunting him and mocking him, seriously, foolishly, at the height of his powers.

But Michael Shelley was fed to it.

And as a person whose real life greatest fear is going insane, with multiple psychoactive medications and mental health diagnoses and ten years in therapy coming up, I relate more to Michael.

Because, yeah, he had his moments, past when he was eaten, where he seemed on the edge of it. Like, I feel like post-ritual, when he was absorbed into The Distortion- I mean it feels like-

It feels like, on relistening for the umpteenth time, he never actually stopped being consumed by madness. And when you are in the throes of a delusion, when you know that what your brain is doing is not true, not correct, patently false, provably wrong, and you're still trapped in it anyway, when you feel like maybe this is all that you are, his most haunting line comes back, delivered by Luke Booys with a manic glee that I felt (still feel) in my bones:

I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain.

I don't know, man. Sometimes I sit here, so much treatment behind me and so much treatment ahead, trying not to think about the open doorway I could fall through and be who I was before my Big Break again (in a bad way), and I'm just so. Moved. By that performance.

Anyway, MAG 047 haunts me and will continue to haunt me and it's my favorite.

[teabugzz]

"I am not a Who, Archivist, I am a What. A "who" requires a degree of identity I can't ever retain."

my first fanart i’m posting here, god i’m so nervous. anyway, have my favourite tma character, michael!! he means so much to me and i relate so strongly to its identity issues it’s hard to explain. also a fellow it/its user :3

i recently got an ipad and started drawing digitally so hopefully i’ll be able to post more of my art ^_^

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Side note, we keep thinking about Michael's quote.

"I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain."

And it keeps hitting us in the honey nut feelios because it's very relatable.

[neon-merrick]

ya know what? maybe distortion michael was onto something with the whole

"i am not a who, archivist, i am a what. a who requires a degree of identity i can't ever retain"

and

"there is no such thing as a real name"

because same

[pluralquotebook]

x: who am i?

???: (quoting michael distortion from tma) i am not a who, i am a what, a who requires a degree of identity i can never retain

x: what the fuck

x: ok fine what am i?

[no response]

x:i hate this brain

.

[bones-edition]

I'm going to be Michael for Halloween. Answers when people ask me who I am include:

"how would a melody describe itself, when asked?"

"I am the throat of delusion incarnate"

"I would hate to spoil your ignorance prematurely"

*laughing*

"I am not a who, archivist. I am a what. A who requires a degree of identity I could never attain."

"ah God, I'm knackered. I've been doing all of this labelling."

[latetothepartyandconfused]

[ID from alt: image 1: Screenshot of the finale paragraph of Michael's statement in Mag 101. It reads: And all that was left was me. Michael. [Giggles] My very existence tied to my pointlessness. Wearing my failure as the very fabric of my being. Reduced once again to feeding on the unsuspecting and confused. That is who I am. image 2: screenshot of michael's line in mag 47 that reads: MICHAEL: I am not a “who,” Archivist, I am a “what.” A “who” requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain. \end ID]

So the finale line on michaels statement is 'That is who I am' and its so funny how Michael died bc he figured out who he was very funny how that happened hilarious in fact esp when his main line is: