#mirror self recognition test

[truenotnew]

"The overview effect is a cognitive shift reported by some astronauts while viewing the Earth from space.Researchers have characterized the effect as "a state of awe with self-transcendent qualities, precipitated by a particularly striking visual stimulus". The most prominent common aspects of personally experiencing the Earth from space are appreciation and perception of beauty, unexpected and even overwhelming emotion, and an increased sense of connection to other people and the Earth as a whole.The effect can cause changes in the observer's self concept and value system, and can be transformative."

⸻

Missing the Mark: Christianity Without Contact

The Overview Effect is a term astronauts use to describe a shift in perception. Seeing the Earth from orbit changes how they see everything: borders, identity, meaning. And here’s the thing—they knew it was coming. They’d read the reports. They’d heard the stories.

But then it happens.

And it still profoundly affects them.

Because it’s not an idea—it’s a rupture. They don’t believe something new. They see what was always there, now without the imposition of arbitrary divisions.

Meanwhile, many Christians never even get on the spaceship because They’re too busy arguing about what they heard about heaven from someone else who's only read about it. All while their pastor is saying spaceships and a open experiential perspective are demonic because Constantine and King James said so.

This isn’t about space. It’s a metaphor illustrating the difference between conceptual and direct experience and how that relates to Christianity.

Because much of Christianity has become a religion of people arguing over maps they’ve never used. Concepts without contact. Dogma without experience. Speaking authoritatively about the view from orbit when they have never left the ground metaphorically speaking.

⸻

Transpersonal Experience is Open Awareness

Not belief.

Not morality.

Not theology.

Open awareness—the direct, unfiltered, nonconceptual seeing of what’s here as being not theoretical description of it.

The falling away of the self-image.

The end of story.

The recognition that there is no separation.

No subject-object split.

No “me” apart from “them.”

That’s the shift. That’s what every authentic tradition is pointing to.

That’s what Jesus pointed to when he said, “The Kingdom of God is within you.”

It’s not a promise.

It’s not metaphor.

It’s a statement of fact for those with eyes to see.

Many Christians Think They Get It. Some do tho historically they have been silenced, violently at times. That said Many in fact do not get it. This is observable fact. Anytime see a Christian causing harm in the name of Christ you have a perfect example of this. The gospel of James speaks to this.

Quoting scripture doesn’t mean contact.

Feeling inspired doesn’t mean contact.

Defending doctrine definitely doesn’t mean contact.

If your sense of self has not collapsed, even momentarily,

If you have not seen through the illusion of separateness,

If you still think of God as something “other,”

You are not speaking from the thing.

And that’s fine...until you build culture, laws, politics, and moral hierarchies on that ignorance.

Then it’s not just misguided. It’s violent.

⸻

Hamartia: Missing Reality

The word translated as “sin” is hamartia. It means: to miss the mark.

And the mark isn’t behavior. It’s reality.

To sin is to identify with the avatar.

To take the thoughts in your head as who you are.

To cling to belief instead of presence.

To say “God is love” and still think there’s a boundary between you and your neighbor.

You don’t need forgiveness.

You need to repent, aka see reality clearly.

⸻

Other Traditions Point to the Same Thing

They all name the same shift:

• Satori (Zen)

• Moksha (Vedanta)

• Fana (Sufism)

• Gnosis (Gnosticism)

• Theosis (Christian mysticism)

• Nirvana/Rigpa (Buddhism)

• Ego death, nonduality, awakening, open awareness

These are not competing ideas.

They are descriptions of the same shift in perception.

The language changes. The structure doesn’t.

⸻

Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself—Because There Is No Other

This isn’t moral instruction.

This isn’t divine suggestion.

This is a description of reality seen clearly.

When the illusion of separation drops,

you don’t try to love your neighbor.

You don’t choose to forgive.

You don’t apply compassion.

You see that there’s no one else there.

The rest follows.

⸻

This Is the Divide

Not between Christians and non-Christians.

Not between saved and unsaved.

The divide is between:

• Those who’ve seen through the illusion of self

• And those still defending it with scripture

Everyone has glimpsed it.

Few recognize it.

Fewer trust it.

Even fewer live from it.

But it’s there.

Always.

Beneath the noise.

Before the belief.

Now.

Its a safe to say many of if not most Christians that read this will not understand what I'm saying and possibly get offended and defensive. The sad part is, it's expected because the bible explicitly indicates how this ignorance manifests. And yet and still.

How can you see this for yourself? Be still and know God. In a pragmatic way...

I'll attempt to articulate my perspective on the practical approach. Firstly imho if observing the breath without interfering with or altering it is challenging, it's probably going to be as challenging if not moreso to observe more subtle objects like  thoughts, the mind, the sense of self or awareness itself. This may just be a distinction that exists at the relative level of egoic perception but there seems to be a nuanced hierarchy from gross to subtle. some will say it's all phenomenon in awareness and they might be right but the paradox is getting to that realization. Looking is a process, seeing is immediate. From my observation It's not impossible to experience sustained (ie days weeks months years etc) open awareness (aka no observable perception of border between self and other experientially) without a cultivating practice but there seems to be a valid reason why all of the well known spiritual traditions (even Christianity which is arguably fundamentally non-dual presented pedagogically in dual language) promote some degree of mindfulness scaffolded by relative contextual moral frameworks. These frameworks matter and serve a valid valuable purpose but they can be and indeed have been weaponized to harm others and ultimately become an obstruction to seeing the very moon they were constructed to point at.

One might say that the entirety of the bible is divinely designed to put this in perspective but one must adjust their perspective to see what is actually being said.

I'll attempt to illustrate this from another perspective.

The Fall in Eden can be understood not just as a moral allegory, but as a metaphor for the emergence of self-awareness in human development. This shift is mirrored in the mirror self-recognition test, when a child, usually between 15 and 24 months, recognizes its reflection as self. This moment marks the rise of ego, the awareness of subject and object, and the loss of pre-reflective unity with the world — echoing the biblical bite from the Tree of Knowledge, which introduced the awareness of duality.

Before this, the infant exists in a non-dual state, with no concept of self as separate. There is only immediacy and unfiltered experience — what might be called Eden. Studies show some animals cross this threshold too, suggesting it reflects a deep cognitive transformation.

Jesus’ words, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” speak to returning to this non-dual state. The “Kingdom of Heaven” is not a future realm or symbol, but an experiential reality — the same as Eden. His call to “repent” (metanoia) is not moral correction but a shift in consciousness, a move beyond egoic identity toward unity.

Spiritual realization traces a loop: from original unity, through ego development and separation, and back to unity — not by erasing the ego, but by seeing through it. The child cannot know reunion without first knowing separation. The adult who returns does so through transformation.

Eden and Heaven are not separate symbols but the same reality. They point to a state of being beyond duality. The Fall is not a failure but a necessary step. The return is not a prize but a recognition. The kingdom of God is within — the awareness before the mirror showed us our face.

[fatal-blow]

there are so many posts i wanna make about animal intelligence but they can pretty much all be summed up with "holy shit we wildly and hilariously underestimate how smart animals are to a frankly baffling degree"

[gildedagent]

sillies

[kozmoglitch]

The mirror test has become obsolete. Humans dominant sensory organ is sight, hence why we place so much emphasis on recognising oneself in the mirror. Dogs for example can recognise their own urine scent from other dogs.

This implies that a lot of species we determined to not have self recognition might do well with a modified test.

[hardware-sparks]

Had an incident with the mirror today unfortunately

[fratttymatty]

Nathan's Parked

(All characters are 18+)

Nathan Parker had never quite fit in at Westbrook High. He was the kind of guy who spent his lunch breaks huddled in the back corner of the library, buried in books about superheroes or playing online games. He had thick glasses, messy brown hair that he never quite knew what to do with, and an awkward way of talking that made him stand out in the worst possible way. He didn’t have many friends, and his idea of a "good time" was usually just scrolling through fan fiction on his phone or studying for tests he didn't care much about. Nathan had long accepted that he would always be the geeky loner.

And then there was the secret he kept hidden from everyone: Nathan was gay, and while he didn’t mind the solitude, it would have been nice to share his feelings with someone.

But that was a far-off dream, something he'd shoved into the deepest parts of his heart. Who would want someone like him? Especially at a school where the jocks and cheerleaders ruled the social hierarchy, and someone like him was just… invisible.

One afternoon, after a grueling chemistry class, Nathan found himself wandering the aisles of the local drugstore, searching for something—anything—that might make him feel a little less out of place. He was heading to the deodorant section when something unusual caught his eye.

It was a sleek, black can of deodorant sitting alone on a shelf. Eclipse™ it was called, with the tagline: "Unleash your potential."

Nathan chuckled at the marketing slogan. "Sure, right," he muttered. He had no reason to believe that some fancy deodorant could change his life, but he figured it was worth a try. After all, he was desperate enough to give anything a shot.

As he sprayed the deodorant under his arms, a strange tingling sensation washed over him. Nathan shook his head, laughing at himself. Maybe it was some sort of psychological thing, he thought—his imagination running wild. He glanced at himself in the mirror and froze.

His reflection was… different.

His hair—messy and unkempt just moments ago—was now styled into a perfect wavy middle part, dark brown strands flowing effortlessly in a way that seemed entirely new. His face was sharper, more defined, and somehow more… masculine. His eyes no longer looked tired and worn-out but bright and confident. And his posture—his shoulders were broader, his chest fuller—he stood taller, more at ease.

Nathan blinked. Was this some kind of weird trick of the lighting? He reached up to touch his hair, but his fingers only confirmed what he feared: it wasn’t just his imagination. He was different. His clothes had changed too—gone was his oversized graphic tee and cargo shorts. Now, he wore a tight black compression shirt that showed off a toned chest, a sleek grey hoodie, a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly, and a letterman jacket draped casually over his shoulders. His shoes—new white trainers—looked like something right out of a sports magazine.

"Okay," he whispered to himself, "what the hell is going on?"

A sudden movement caught his eye, and when he turned, he saw a group of cheerleaders walking toward him. A few of them—Liana, Amanda, and Jenna—had been in his chemistry class earlier. But they'd never looked his way before. Now, as they approached, their eyes lit up with recognition. Or maybe it was something else… admiration?

"Hey there, Nathan," Liana said with a playful smile. "Wow, you look… different."

Nathan opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was deeper now, smoother, more self-assured. "Yeah, I guess I’ve… changed a little."

Amanda giggled, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Changed? You look like you’ve had a total makeover or something. I mean, you used to hide behind those glasses and all that—what are you doing now, hitting the gym?"

Nathan tried to think of a reply, but his mind was a little foggy. He didn’t recognize himself anymore, but he couldn’t help but feel good about the attention. He could feel his chest puffing out, his muscles subtly flexing under the tight shirt, as though his body was responding to the change.

"Yeah," he said with a grin that felt more natural than he expected. "I’ve been hitting the gym… working on a few things."

Liana stepped closer, her eyes glinting with interest. "Well, whatever you're doing, it's working. You should come hang out with us at the game this weekend. We’ve got a big pep rally, and it could be fun. You’d fit right in with the team now."

Nathan blinked. Hang out with them? The cheerleaders? He was just a nerdy kid who kept to himself. But the idea of being part of their world—their confident, carefree world—was suddenly too tempting to ignore. He felt a surge of something that felt like excitement. And… pride? A new sense of self-confidence he couldn’t quite explain.

"I’d like that," he said without hesitation, the words coming out effortlessly. "I’ll be there."

The days that followed felt like a whirlwind for Nathan. In a matter of days, he’d gone from being the awkward, socially-inept loner to one of the most talked-about guys at Westbrook High. His new look and newfound swagger made him the center of attention. The cheerleaders treated him like one of their own, and he soon found himself hanging out with them after school, practicing football moves with the jocks, and getting invited to parties where people actually wanted him around.

But the more Nathan embraced his new persona, the more he realized how much he was changing—not just physically, but mentally. He wasn’t the shy, introverted guy anymore. He was Max Hunter, the popular, athletic jock with a cocky attitude to match. His confidence quickly turned to arrogance, and before long, he was acting like the kind of guy he used to despise.

"Yo, check this out," Max said one afternoon, tossing a football up and down in front of his football buddies, Blake and Trevor. "This is how it’s done, alright?" He spun the ball effortlessly in his hands before tossing it across the field, landing it perfectly in Blake’s arms.

Blake threw him a high-five. "Damn, Max, you’ve been killing it lately. You're the new king around here."

Max grinned, his eyes flashing with arrogance. "Damn straight. It’s all about putting in the work and looking good while doing it. Don't know why I wasted all that time reading comics before."

Trevor chuckled, shaking his head. "Man, you’ve changed. But in a good way."

Max gave a half-smirk. "Of course I’ve changed. I’m Max now. I’m not some nerdy little nobody anymore." He ran a hand through his hair, letting the group admire his perfect waves. "And it’s about time the world noticed."

As the week went on, Max’s new life was in full swing. He’d been casually hooking up with pretty much every cheerleader in school. It started with Liana, of course. She was beautiful, confident, and everyone’s idea of the "perfect girl." Max had charmed her with his cocky smile and athletic physique, and within days, they were seeing each other.

But as Max quickly realized, he was no longer someone who got tied down. As soon as Liana wasn’t around, he started flirting with other girls—cheerleaders, mostly—and eventually found himself in a casual, yet thrilling, rotation of hookups. He’d dated and slept with Amanda, Jenna, and even a few girls from rival schools, all while keeping up the pretense of being in a committed relationship with Liana.

The funny thing? They didn’t care. It didn’t matter how many times Max cheated on them—he was Max Hunter, and somehow, that made everything excusable. Each cheerleader, knowing full well about the others, would still smile whenever he showed up to practice, each one thinking she was the one who had his true attention. And Max let them believe it. He was the star of the show, and they were just happy to be along for the ride.

After all, when you looked like he did—when you had the physique, the style, and the swagger—you didn’t need to commit. They all wanted a piece of him, and he was more than happy to oblige.

But as Max looked in the mirror again, something clicked. He wasn’t just Nathan anymore. The person staring back at him—confident, athletic, popular—wasn’t Nathan Parker at all.

He had a new name.

"Max," he whispered, testing the name on his tongue. It felt right. Max Hunter. Strong. Powerful. The kind of guy who everyone knew, and who everyone wanted to know. A jock. The kind of guy who got the girl, the attention, and the respect.

As Max adjusted his letterman jacket and ran his fingers through his perfectly styled hair, he realized something: this wasn’t just a new look. It was a new life.

Maybe, just maybe, this was the person he was always meant to be.

[acosmicventure]

1st House Vs. 7th House

1st House is where you meet yourself.

It is the moment you take your first breath, the way your presence enters a room, the force that propels you forward.

Ruled by Mars, this house speaks of autonomy, identity, and the battle between self-determination and external expectations.

It is the warrior’s ground, where you carve your path, stumble, rise, and forge your own fire.

7th House is where you meet others.

It is the mirror of Venus, the realm of unions, contracts, love, and reflections of the self through partnership.

Here, the world whispers, "Who are you in relation to me?" It is the place where bonds are made, broken, tested, and transformed.

This is the house of agreements, but also confrontations—the home of both love and enmity, where your heart meets its counterpart in another.

Deepest Hurts Of 1st House

The wounds of the 1st house stem from feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood in one’s core being. It is the pain of forging an identity only to be dismissed, of standing alone when all you crave is recognition.

It asks, "Can I be loved as I am, without altering myself for acceptance?"

Deepest Hurts Of 7th House

The wounds of the 7th house cut through the realm of relationships. It is the ache of betrayal, the sorrow of loving someone who does not choose you back, the loss of self in the name of love.

It whispers, "How much of myself do I give before I am emptied?"

Behavioral Struggles of the 1st House

1. Struggling with self-assertion vs. people-pleasing.

2. Feeling the need to fight for space, even when no one is against you.

3. Acting impulsively and regretting it later.

4. Fear of dependency or being controlled by others.

5. Viewing vulnerability as weakness.

6. Feeling restless, as if always preparing for battle.

7. A deep need to prove oneself constantly.

8. Unconscious resistance to collaboration.

9. Misunderstanding the difference between independence and isolation.

10. Seeing relationships as threats to personal freedom.

Behavioral Struggles of the 7th House

1. Losing oneself in relationships.

2. Seeking external validation over internal stability.

3. Fearing loneliness and overcompromising.

4. Idealizing love and being devastated when reality strikes.

5. Choosing partners based on what they reflect, not who they are.

6. Holding onto toxic relationships out of fear of being alone.

7. Struggling with boundaries—giving too much or taking too little.

8. Projecting unhealed wounds onto others.

9. Resenting partners but fearing separation.

10. Using relationships as a measure of self-worth.

How to Channel the 1st-7th House Axis in Each Sign

Aries-Libra Axis

Learn when to lead and when to listen. Assert yourself without crushing the beauty of connection.

Taurus-Scorpio Axis

Balance stability with transformation. Hold on without suffocating, let go without fearing destruction.

Gemini-Sagittarius Axis

Speak your truth, but seek depth in the words you exchange. Learn when to wander and when to stay.

Cancer-Capricorn Axis

Feel without fear, structure without suffocation. Embrace both softness and resilience.

Leo-Aquarius Axis

Shine, but not at the expense of others. Honor your uniqueness while uplifting those around you.

Virgo-Pisces Axis

Serve with wisdom, dream with purpose. Merge the mystical with the practical, knowing that both are needed.

.......

This axis is not a war.

It is a lifelong conversation between who you are and who you choose to meet along the way.

A COSMIC VENTURE

[atompalace-official]

experiment: does atomian creature pass the mirror self recognition test?

outcome: yes (after a brief delay) 🤭🎀🪞✨

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

VINNY'S CHARACTER ANALYSIS (why he isn't actually prideful)

Because many d!pshits can't understand common knowledge.

FIRSTLY, Vinny's character is deeply rooted in inferiority complex, not just kid insecurities. You can look in the mirror and suddenly feel insecure of your nose, but inferiority complex is much more serious and deeper than that. An inferiority complex is a term first coined by psychologist Alfred Adler. It describes a persistent feeling that you’re somehow “less than” others—whether in ability, appearance, social status, or worth. Rather than a momentary insecurity (“I’m nervous about this test”), it’s a chronic sense that you’ll never measure up.

"But Vinny acts prideful--" How in tf do people not understand in BIG 2025 that people who lack pride often will act proudly. THAT'S COPING MECHANISM. Vinny literally says:

"The beginning of all this tragedy was me. Like a curse brought down by my birth, misfortunes kept pouring in my family. Accidents...Poverty...And violence (referring to his father turning abusive). In the end, I just lived - however, just like that teacher said, with no expectations in life, just living as a lowlife." - chapter 543. (Vinny literally believes he's curse that ruined his family, blames himself that his father turned out abusive, agrees with a teacher that constantly degraded him and admits that he's lowlife. But ppl will see this and say he's so full of himself💀).

"So you're telling me to resort to d0ping because someone as average as me cannot beat geniuses?" - Chapter 462. At first people might think that Vinny was being sarcastic BUT then Juwon literally LAUGHS at what Vinny says and responds with "Average? Vinny, you think you're average?! Are you kidding me right now, Vinny?!" And Vinny literally remains quiet. Confirms that Vinny, in fact, does think of low of himself.

"It's still not enough. No matter how much I ride I can't see myself beating Jay--I mean, Owen. I don't know what else I can do." - chapter 462. (This is NOT what prideful person would say btw. Prideful person would say "I know it's enough. I know I can beat them." But that's far away from how Vinny thinks).

"I want get recognition. I want to be acknowledged by world." - chapter 525.(A truly prideful person—as in someone with genuine self-respect and inner confidence—does not feel the need to prove their worth to others. Someone who feels they must prove their worth is likely not proud in the true sense—but insecure or struggling with imposter syndrome, inferiority, or external validation needs.)

"Fuck you. You still think of me as a joke, don't you?" - chapter 443. In this chapter, Vinny shows how much he hates being underestimated, since he thought Jay was thinking lowly of him, which is response of inferiority complex. Sure, prideful people aren't pleased with getting underestimated, but it's even more intense with people who have inferiority complex. If you make inferior person feel inferior, they'll either react in denial or anger. Anger is case with Vinny, since he's aggressive character himself (due to experiencing domestical abuse since he was a kid, which shape most people as aggressive). That kind of reaction—“Fck you, you think I’m a joke? I’ll show you!”—is a classic sign of someone masking an inferiority complex with pride.

The aggressive outburst isn't rooted in stable confidence or real pride. It’s triggered by feeling threatened, humiliated, or looked down on. The reaction is a defensive reflex, not genuine self-assurance. The need to "prove them wrong" comes from a place of deep insecurity, not self-respect. If they were truly proud or confident: They might say something like, “Believe what you want—I’ll still come out on top.” Or even just let their actions speak without needing the validation. (like Jay often did).

And even when Vinny won against Jay in that chapter, Vinny says "This is a day I finally overcome you!!" Sounds like a victory…But it’s driven by proving worth, not celebrating growth. It’s a moment of relief, not real fulfillment. So no, that ain't true pride at all. AND WHAT PROVES IT IS THAT VINNY DIDN'T FEEL SATISFIED BY THAT, HE STARTED FEELING INFERIOR AGAIN. (as shown in the chap 462). Because external victory doesn’t heal internal insecurity or inferiority complex. He didn't truly want to win—he wanted to feel enough. And beating someone doesn’t guarantee self-worth.

Vinny saw Jay improve and started talking down on himself, feeling inferior. (Chap 462). Shows that his self-worth is entirely dependent on his achievements, improvements but that's not actual confidence nor pride. That’s not pride—it’s deep-rooted self-doubt and fear of being “less”.

True pride would look more like: “I’m proud of how far I’ve come—no matter where you are.” Respecting others’ growth without it threatening your own value. (Vinny felt like his entire sense of self and value was ripped away from him. THAT AIN'T PRIDE).

Someone who masks up his inferiority complex, his motivation would be to prove his worth to himself and to world, their focus would be on their self-image, reputation, being better than others, when receiving compliments they might fish for more or dismiss it out of disbelief, they're more likely to refuse help than prideful people, they may feel threatened by other's success and compete with others.

Genuinely proud people are usually secure enough to admit mistakes, show vulnerability, and still hold their head high. (Never shown with Vinny).

Those masking inferiority often avoid vulnerability entirely and create a persona that’s hard to maintain consistently. They might collapse under pressure or reveal self-doubt in private moments. (Literally all of it happened with Vinny).

That "pride" you all are talking about is Vinny's way to protect his inferiority complex. He's not truly prideful. His "pride" is a mask.

[badomenslullaby]

In My Room - Flashback

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Singer!Reader

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Song:

Author's Note: The song is slightly different than the other two that I have used :) Enjoy~

This is it. 2019 is going to be your year. The fans are rolling in left and right on social media, but this show could change everything. It could put you on the map, finally turning your dream into reality. The dream you’ve had since you were three. Ashes of Eden is finally getting the recognition you’ve fought for, all thanks to one of your self-made music videos blowing up on YouTube. Thank god for YouTube.

Sumerian Records had reached out, offering you and Ashes of Eden a free flight to L.A. to perform at a small rock bar- a test run to see what you were made of. The catch? You’d be sharing the stage with a band called Bad Omens. Naturally, curiosity got the best of you, and you found yourself deep in a YouTube rabbit hole. Needless to say, you were blown away. Their sound was incredible, their stage presence magnetic. And as if that wasn’t enough, they were all ridiculously attractive, especially the lead singer, Noah. His long, chocolate-brown hair only added to his effortless allure.

Oh, you were in for it. That is, if you could even find the nerve to speak to them.

Now, you find yourself in the dimly lit bathroom of the bar, gripping the edges of the sink as you try to give yourself a pep talk.

“You’ve got this. It’s just another show. Just another crowd, Lilith,” you mumble to yourself.

But deep down, you know it’s more than that. This performance could change everything. Before you can spiral any further, the door swings open, and a group of drunk girls stumbles in, their laughter echoing off the tiled walls. It doesn’t take long for them to notice your tense expression.

“What’s wrong?” one of them asks with a concerned look. They all crowd you in a circle and offer physical touches of support.

“I’m just nervous about tonight. This show is a big deal for me.”

One of the girls, a blonde with smudged eyeliner, tilts her head, swaying slightly. "Aww, you got this!" she slurs, giving you an encouraging but sloppy grin.

Another girl, a redhead, leans against the sink. "Wait, are you in one of the bands playing tonight?"

You nod, feeling your face heat up. "Yeah, Ashes of Eden."

The girls exchange excited looks before the blonde claps her hands together.

 "Oh my god, that's so cool! We were just talking about how hot the bands are tonight." She winks at you. "You're about to be famous, babe!"

You giggle nervously, but their words only add to the whirlwind of emotions stirring inside you.

“Thank you, I appreciate your kind words,” you say with pink-tinted cheeks. 

The redhead grins and nudges your shoulder playfully. "No need to be shy, rockstar. You're about to own that stage!"

The brunette in the group, who had been adjusting her lipstick in the mirror, turns to you with a smile. "Just picture everyone in their underwear. Or, better yet, picture them cheering your name."

You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. "I'll try to remember that."

The blonde suddenly gasps. "Wait! We should totally take a picture together before you blow up and forget about us!"

Before you can even process what’s happening, she’s pulling you into a selfie, the others eagerly crowding around. You smile for the camera, still nervous but feeling a little lighter.

"You're gonna kill it out there," the redhead says before they all stumble toward the door.

As they leave, you glance at your reflection, adjusting the hem of your cropped white tank. The square neckline frames your collarbones, the seamless fabric hugging you comfortably without feeling restrictive. Paired with your favorite black skinny jeans. You shift your weight, the chunky heels of your Converse adding a bit of height, making you feel just a little more powerful. They’re an unexpected twist on a classic look, much like tonight, a chance to step into something new, something bigger. Taking a deep breath, you smooth your hands over your jeans and nod at yourself. 

No more stalling- it’s now or never.

You walk out of the bathroom, taking a deep breath before heading to the table where Sierra, Zane, Ryder, and Nico are sitting. They greet you with smiles as you take a seat just in time for Bad Omens to hit the stage.

Your breath catches in your throat as Noah, the lead singer, strides onto the stage.

"LA, are you ready to lose your damn mind?! We’re Bad Omens! Let’s do this!"

Cheers erupt through the bar, and you find yourself wide-eyed, cheering along with the crowd. It seems you’ve caught his attention as you two lock eyes. He gives you a wink and flashes a confident smile in your direction. Your face heats up, and you quickly try to cover it up by taking a sip of your drink.

They played the few songs you’d gotten familiar with while researching the band- Said & Done, Malice, and Exit Wounds. Each track had a raw energy that you could feel pulsing through the crowd. It was as if the music itself was alive, and you found yourself caught up in it, the power of the performance making you feel like you were standing on stage right alongside them.

Now and then, Noah would lock eyes with you again, and it felt like you were both silently sizing each other up. He had to know that you were part of the other band performing tonight, but you couldn’t help but wonder if you were the only one who did some research on the other group. You hoped you weren’t the only weirdo in the room who cared enough to know the music before the gig.

Finally, it was their last song.

“All right, motherfuckers, this is Dethrone!” Noah screamed into the mic. The crowd went wild, the energy in the room escalating as the heavy beat dropped.

The music hit, and Noah's voice ripped through the air with an intensity that made the floor shake.

“Let me take you back to when I was killed and born again!”

The crowd went nuts as Noah poured his soul into the lyrics, the raw emotion flooding every corner of the room.

“Woke up in the light convinced my life had made it to its end…”

His voice was raw, each scream sending chills down your spine. It felt like he was pouring out all his pain and fury into the song.

“If he's home, I've got a message for the man above, FUCK YOU!”

The room erupted, everyone in the bar losing themselves. You couldn’t help but yell and cheer along, completely caught up in the chaos of the moment. Up at the front of the stage, a small mosh pit had formed, bodies pushing against each other, heads banging to the rhythm, the whole crowd moving as one.

When they finished, the band took a bow, the crowd’s cheers still echoing in your ears. Your heart pounded as they made their way through the crowd, receiving high fives and compliments. It was your turn next. The boys approached your table, and you tried to steady your breathing. As they neared, Noah flashed you a charming grin before speaking up.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked, his voice carrying confidence. “I’m Noah, by the way. Lead singer of Bad Omens.” He gave you all a small, welcoming smile.

The bassist followed up with a warm nod. “Nicholas,” he said, his tone friendly but a little quieter than Noah’s. “It’s awesome to meet you.”

The guitarist leaned in with a cheeky grin. “Jolly here,” he said with a wink. “The one who makes it all sound good.”

The drummer gave a playful chuckle. “Nick,” he said, raising his beer in a casual greeting. “The guy who makes sure everyone stays on beat.”

The boys grinned as they introduced themselves, and you smiled back, trying to hold your composure. Everyone at your table nodded or waved in greeting.

Sierra was the first to respond with a smile. “Hey, I’m Sierra. Nice to meet you all!” she said excitedly, waving her hand.

Zane chuckled and leaned forward in his seat. “Zane,” he said with a slight nod. “It’s cool to finally meet you guys. You put on a hell of a show.”

Nico smiled warmly and extended his hand. “Nico, good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot of great things about you all,” he added.

With a smile and a quick glance toward them, Ryder introduced himself. “I’m Ryder, but you can call me Scorn. You guys put on an amazing set.”

“Thanks, guys, that means a lot,” Noah said. His eyes landed on you, and he leaned in a little. “And what’s your name?”

Even though you were nervous, you gave him your best show-stopping smile, the one that makes guys melt on the spot.

“I’m Lilith.”

“Lilith, like in the Bible?” Noah asked, a shimmer of curiosity in his eye.

“Yeah,” you reply nervously. “My mom’s a Wiccan, and she named me after her as a sign of respect.”

When introducing yourself, you’ve found that people typically react in two ways. One group seems completely appalled, almost praying for you. The other gets excited, eager to know more about your mom and the beliefs she raised you with.

“That’s so fucking cool,” Nick said, causing you to laugh.

“I like it a lot,” Noah added, his eyes locking with yours, making your cheeks flush with heat.

Before you could reply, a sudden hand appeared at the table, gently tapping the surface to get your attention.

"Time for Ashes of Eden to hit the stage," the voice said, pulling you out of the moment.

You give them a small thanks and a smile, then turn your attention back to Bad Omens as your band starts to get up and say their goodbyes. Noah steps a little closer to you, his presence making you feel a bit lighter.

“I won’t lie,” he says, his voice lowering slightly, “when I heard you guys were also performing tonight, I looked you up. And all I can say is... I’m blown away by your voice. It’s almost... siren-like.”

You look up at him, your dark brown eyes meeting his, and feel your cheeks warm.

“T-thank you,” you stammer, still trying to process the compliment.

Sierra grabs your arm, pulling you toward the stage with an excited grin plastered on her face. You can feel her energy buzzing next to you as she practically drags you through the crowd.

“He’s hot as fuck,” she whispers, giggling quietly. Her voice is laced with excitement, and you can tell she’s practically vibrating.

You can’t help but laugh softly, the heat rising in your cheeks as you glance over your shoulder. Noah’s still standing there, his dark eyes following you for a split second before he turns back to the rest of his band. You quickly look away, trying not to make it obvious that his attention has left you flustered.

“Shut up, Sierra," you mutter, trying to play it cool, though your heart is still racing.

She just chuckles and bumps her shoulder into yours. “I’m just saying, if you don’t make a move, I might have to.”

You roll your eyes at Sierra's teasing, but the thought of her making a move still makes you laugh under your breath. Despite that, you can’t shake the warmth in your chest, even as the nerves start to creep in. You take your position at the mic, the weight of the moment settling in. Your heart races, but there's a strange buzz of excitement beneath the anxiety. You clear your throat, gathering your focus as all eyes turn to you.

“Hello, L.A.! It’s so amazing to see all your beautiful faces tonight! I’m Lilith Sterling, and we are Ashes of Eden!” you exclaim, your voice carrying across the room as you jump into your first song, Soul Decay.

As the music kicks in, the raw intensity of the song takes over the room. Ryder stepped up to his mic, his voice exploding into the chaotic atmosphere of the bar. His scream fills the air, each word dripping with emotion as he delivers the powerful lyrics. His delivery is fierce, but there’s an undeniable pain behind every word, like he’s pouring his soul into the performance. His presence is magnetic, capturing everyone's attention as they watch him pour everything he has into every scream.

Meanwhile, you stand beside him, your own screams blending with Ryder’s, not just supporting but matching his ferocity. Your eyes are locked on him, the connection between the two of you clear as you trade vocal lines, your energy feeding off each other.

The crowd is engulfed in the music, heads thrashing, bodies moving to the rhythm. The intensity is almost tangible as the drums hammer and the guitars wail in the background. When the chorus hits, the room seems to explode, with Ryder’s voice leading the charge and you adding to the onslaught of sound.

By the time the song reaches its peak, with Ryder urging the crowd to "tear it down" and burn it to the ground, the room feels electric, as if the very walls are vibrating with the force of the performance. The song ends on a powerful note, the final screams leaving the air thick with intensity. You head straight into the next song. 

As Erase Me kicks off, the energy in the room surges as the heavy guitars rip through the air. You step up to the mic, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. The crowd falls silent in anticipation, and then, the moment hits. Ryder’s scream cut through the room like a blade, raw and unrelenting.

The chorus hits, and you immediately take over, your voice soaring as you belt out the opening lyrics, rich with emotion. Your voice is clear and full of anguish as you sing,

"But you're waiting, Patiently for something worth saving. But you're waiting, Patiently for something worth saving."

The intensity of the song washes over you, each word laced with desperate energy. Ryder’s screams rise alongside yours, haunting and aggressive, like a wave crashing against your calm. His voice blends seamlessly with yours, heightening the song.

As you hit the bridge, you lean into the vulnerability of the moment, getting down onto your knees. Your voice trembles with emotion as you sing,

“Why would you save me? I'm not worth saving. You're suffocating. So just erase me. Annihilate me, Assassinate me. I'm not worth saving. So just erase me.”

It’s almost a plea, your voice cracking, as though speaking directly to the crowd’s soul.

When the song ramps up for the final verses, you both unleash the full force of your vocals. You sing the final lines with Ryder screaming them, your voices crashing together in a perfect storm. The guitars roar around you as the last note rips through the air. The room falls into deafening applause and cheers. Your body buzzes with adrenaline, your breath sharp as you exchange a quick, electrifying glance with Ryder.

The rest of the set flies by effortlessly, leaving you reeling with a rush of serotonin. But now, it’s time for the last song, and a knot of nervousness tightens in your chest. This one has a different sound, just you, no Ryder involved. You glance at him as he steps off to the side of the stage, hidden from the crowd. He smiles at you, and you give him a nervous smile in return before refocusing on the audience. As you scan the crowd, your eyes land on Noah. His attention is locked on you, and he lifts his beer in a small, confident toast. His lips form the words “You got this,” a simple gesture that sends a wave of reassurance through you.

You give Noah a small nod as a thank you, then take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the final song. As you look out at the crowd, your heart still races, but the reassurance from Noah has settled some of your nerves.

“You all have been amazing tonight,” you say, your voice breathless but full of gratitude. “For our last song, we’re doing something a little different. No screaming and slightly more laid-back. This song has gotten a lot of attention on YouTube recently, and it’s the reason we’re here tonight. So, please enjoy.”

As the final song begins, you step up to the mic, the acoustic guitar resting comfortably in your hands. You take a deep breath, your fingers gently brushing over the strings as you begin the soft, haunting opening chords. The room falls into a hushed silence.

The first verses fill the air with a raw vulnerability. Your voice is softer, almost fragile, but it carries the weight of every word as you sing:

"I want your things in my room,

I miss you all of the time..."

Each line drips with longing, a quiet ache in your voice, the soft strumming of the guitar adding a haunting layer. The audience is entranced, swaying gently to the rhythm. As the song builds, the electric guitar, bass, and drums join in, lifting the sound to a new intensity. The acoustic guitar fades into the background, but you still strum with passion, the emotional core of the song felt in every note.

Your voice grows stronger as the chorus hits, your singing full of yearning:

"I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time. You make it look so easy, Leaving everything behind."

The crowd follows your lead, caught in the emotional swell of the song, the lyrics speaking to a sense of longing and heartache.

By the time the song hits the bridge, your voice rises, raw and desperate:

"You look so cool getting high. No handlebars you wanna fly. You look so cool I wanna die. Is it too soon to say what on my mind."

You push yourself deeper into the vulnerability of the lyrics, every word hanging in the air with an aching intensity. The energy builds, and the entire band is now in full force, something haunting in your performance. As the song draws to a close, you hold the final note, your voice fading into the night as the instruments drop away, leaving only the echo of your last words.

The crowd is still. The room erupts in applause, cheers, and whistles. You catch your breath, feeling the buzz of adrenaline mix with a deep sense of release. A tear forms at the corner of your eye as you take a bow, your heart swelling with emotion.

As you and the band make your way into the crowd, you’re immediately swarmed by a flood of people, each one eager to let you know how amazing the show was. You smile, thank them, sign a few items, and take pictures, basking in the rush of excitement. Every moment feels electric, but eventually, the overwhelming attention becomes too much. You manage to slip outside, finding a brief escape. You lean against the cool brick wall, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, letting the rush of the show fade away. 

You hear the door open and close again, followed by the crunch of gravel under footsteps, growing closer. You peek through your lashes and see none other than Noah walking toward you, his figure slowly emerging from the dim light. For a second, your heart skips a beat, unsure of what to expect.

“I was hoping I’d find you out here. It’s a lot more peaceful than the madness inside, huh?” He says with a small smile.

You put a strand of hair behind your ear and smile back at him.

“Yeah…I needed to get out, or else I would go crazy.”

He chuckled, stepping a little closer. “I get that. Sometimes, it’s hard to breathe with everyone pulling at you. But hey, you killed it up there. Seriously, you’ve got something special.”

“Thank you, that means a lot.”

There was a moment of quiet between the two of you, not awkward but comfortable in a way.

“So, when are you moving out here?” Noah asks, his tone casual, but there’s an almost nervous edge to it.

“Well… if we get this record deal, probably within the next week.” You say, a little hesitant. “I’ll need to get everything lined up, but fingers crossed that it’s happening soon.”

He nods, letting the words sink in.

“When you get settled in… we should hang out sometime,” he says, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You look up at him, a little surprised but smiling.

“I would like that… a lot,” you admit, your voice a little too eager, but you don’t mind.

Noah chuckles softly, rubbing the back of his neck in that endearing, unsure way.

“Good. I’m sure we’d have a lot of fun. Just, uh, don’t be surprised if I drag you out to get some of the best tacos in L.A. I have strong opinions about food.” He winks, making light of the situation but still conveying genuine interest.

You laugh and smile at him.

“I would sell Ryder for a taco; that’s how much I love Mexican food.”

Noah laughs, clearly amused by your response.

“Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page about tacos,” he says, grinning. “And don’t worry, I’m sure Ryder would understand.”

Noah chuckles again, his eyes lighting up with amusement.

“So, aside from tacos, what else do you enjoy doing when you’re not rocking out on stage?” He asks, genuinely curious, his tone soft but warm.

You pause for a moment, considering the question.

“I like getting lost in nature,” you say with a small smile, “Hiking, geocaching, just being out in the quiet. It helps clear my head, especially with all the chaos of the band and everything.”

Noah nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I get that. Nature’s like the best kind of therapy.”

You both fall into a comfortable silence for a moment, the night air settling around you. There’s a light breeze that brushes past, gently cooling you both down from the heat of performing. 

You were the one to break the silence this time.

“You know, you mentioned how you looked us up. It was a relief to hear you say that because I did the same with you guys.”

Noah raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Oh yeah? You’ve been stalking us, too?” he teases with a playful tone.

You laugh softly, feeling the slight heat in your cheeks from being caught. “I mean, I had to. Needed to see who else was performing.”

His smirk fades into something more genuine as he leans in slightly, the expression on his face softening.

“Well, I’m glad you did. Honestly, it means a lot that you took the time to check us out. We’ve all worked our asses off to get where we are, so hearing that from you…” He trails off for a second, as if he’s searching for the right words.

You meet his gaze, sensing the sincerity in his tone. “I get it. It’s nice to know that someone’s paying attention, that all the work’s not going unnoticed.”

Noah nods slowly, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer.

“Exactly. And you’ve got this incredible presence on stage. That kind of thing doesn’t just come from talent; it comes from the heart. I can tell you really care about what you do, and that’s rare.”

Your chest warms at his words, and for a brief moment, you’re not sure how to respond. “Thanks,” you say, your voice quiet but genuine. “That means a lot coming from you.”

He smiles, a soft understanding passing between you two.

“You’re welcome. And hey, don’t be afraid to reach out, alright? I’m not just saying this because I’m trying to be nice; I mean it.”

You nod, the weight of the conversation settling in as you find yourself feeling more connected to him than before.

“Definitely. I’ll keep that in mind.”

He leans in as you pull your phone from your back pocket. You open your contacts and create a new one, handing it over to him. He types his name and number, then takes a silly selfie for his contact picture. You can’t help but laugh when you see it. After finishing, he adds a little heart next to his name in your phone, his playful grin never leaving his face:

Noah 💖

You immediately text him so he can have your number in return. When his phone buzzed, he pulled it out of his pocket and added you to his contact:

Lilith 💫

The side door of the bar opens, and you both glance to your left. Your band is heading to their van, ready to leave. Sierra spots you immediately, her eyes twinkling with mischief. She winks and wiggles her eyebrows at you, clearly noticing the vibe between you and Noah. You shoot her a glare, but Noah starts laughing beside you, clearly enjoying the moment.

Sierra marches over, not wasting any time. “You two look cozy out here,” she teases, a playful grin on her face. “I see you’re already making friends.”

You roll your eyes, trying to hide the growing heat in your cheeks. “Don’t make it weird,” you mutter, but it’s hard to keep a straight face with her looking so smug.

Noah chuckles softly beside you, rubbing the back of his neck. “Guess we can’t hide it now,” he says, his voice full of amusement.

Sierra just grins wider. “I’ll make sure to give you both some space later,” she teases, but her voice softens as she looks at you. “We’re heading back to the hotel, though. We should get going, Lilith.”

You nod, take a deep breath, and give Noah a quick smile. “I’ll see you later,” you say, your voice a little softer than you intended.

He grins, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer. “Yeah, later. Take care, Lilith,” he says, giving you a little wave before heading back into the bar.

Sierra links her arm through yours, dragging you toward the van. “Let’s go, You can obsess over him later. Time for us to crash.”

You let her pull you along, but part of you is still back with Noah, replaying the moment over and over in your head as you head to the hotel.

Unbeknownst to you, this was the start of the beautiful yet haunting relationship with Noah. 

[creepz-art]

Another heavy one! Oops 🤷

TW: blood, body horror, dissociation, psychological horror, hallucinations, suicidal imagery, self-injury, emotional distress, implied manipulation/torture, forced exposure to phobia, mirrors, spectrophobia (fear of mirrors)

Taglist!: @mis-fortunate @ieatpeninklols

Spectrophobia.

It had only been a second. Barely that.

Brian had opened his eyes and found himself—home. The real one. Not the bloodless, mirrored nightmare. Not the endless maze of his own ruined face.

Just the living room.

Dim. Dusty. Familiar in a way that made his chest ache.

He hadn’t even fully registered it when he saw Tim.

He was sitting on the couch, hunched forward, head in his hands like the weight of the world had finally tipped him over. His shoulders were tight. His breathing shallow. And despite everything, Brian felt something lurch up inside him���recognition, guilt, relief.

Tim.

He didn’t even speak. Couldn’t. He just stood there in the doorway, blood caked up to his elbows, eyes stinging from the light. His throat burned like he’d swallowed fire.

But before he could say a word—

He was gone again.

The world folded, twisted, ripped—and he dropped hard onto mirrored glass.

No warning.

No mercy.

No sound except the faint echo of something like laughter reverberating through the maze.

He lay there for a second, face pressed to the floor, breath gone. The cuts on his hands had barely begun to clot. His whole body shook, numb with pain, blood crusted to his wrists and drying into his sleeves.

He wanted to scream.

But the moment passed.

And the mirrors lit up again.

They showed him Tim, this time. So many Tims. One with a bullet wound to the head. One with blood around his mouth like he’d been forced to bite his own tongue off. One hanging. One smiling.

One looking straight at him and turning away.

Brian shoved himself to his feet, gasping. “No,” he croaked. “No—please, stop—”

He ran. It didn’t matter where. Every turn brought him back to himself. Back to a broken Tim. Back to the echoes of what he’d just had for one second.

The Operator had let him see him.

Dangling the image like bait. Like a test.

And now the maze was angrier. The reflections were worse. One showed Tim kneeling next to Brian’s body. One showed them both burning. One showed Brian holding Tim’s severed head like a puppet.

He slammed his hand into the next mirror.

Glass exploded. So did his knuckles.

It grew back.

Now it showed Tim walking away from him. Again.

He didn’t know how long he’d been running. Bleeding. Screaming. Punching. The ache in his chest was worse than the pain in his hands. Worse than the glass lodged in his palm or the way his arm wouldn’t lift right anymore.

All he could think about was that one second.

Tim, right there.

So close.

So far.

And then he saw his reflection again—not Brian, not Hoodie. Just some broken version of himself.

It was smiling.

[eddieintheocean]

Hii got any fun facts about cleaner wrasse? They’re so neat

yes!!!

cleaner wrasse are a wonderful example of mutualism! They remove parasites, and a study in 2015 suggests that just the prescence of wrasse in a reef greatly increase the prescence of new damselfish.

they are the first fish to ever pass the mark test (mirror self recognition). although the test is slightly controversial, it is usually a good base point as to whether or not a species has the ability to recognise themselves in a mirror.

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from The Guardian:

When scientists demonstrated a small tropical fish – the cleaner wrasse – could recognise itself in a mirror, Prof Culum Brown’s first thought was: “This is the coolest thing ever.”

Brown, an ecologist who researches fish behaviour and intelligence at Sydney’s Macquarie University, says the mirror self-recognition test – developed in the 1970s – is considered the gold standard for evidence of visual self-awareness in animals.

In the Osaka City University study, a small number of fish had a mark placed under their throats while under anaesthesia. When given a mirror, the fish oriented their bodies to see the mark, and tried to rub it off by scraping themselves on rocks.

Primates, elephants and dolphins previously passed the test. But the results in fish proved so controversial it took five years for the paper to be published.

Even then, many scientists refused to accept the results.

Brown says the response “shows beautifully” the bias against the idea of fish being intelligent – particularly when parts of the scientific community instead thought, “Shit! The mirror self-recognition test is broken.”

Globally, fish are the most eaten animal (an estimated 1.1-2.2tn are caught annually). They are also the most common pet, and one of the main animals used in science and medical research. Yet Brown says most of the public barely even consider them to be animals.

In recent decades, researchers have demonstrated that along with visual self-awareness, certain species have the capacity to learn, remember, experience pain and form relationships. Many of these qualities imply sentience, the capacity to feel positive and negative experiences.

“Science is so far in front of society that it’s going to take a monumental shift in human behaviour to catch up,” he says.

For instance, Brown says the popular misconception that fish have short memories has “absolutely no foundation”. His research on sharks found them to be intelligent and inquisitive creatures with long memories.

He is among a group of scientists and philosophers to sign the New York declaration on animal consciousness earlier this year, which attempts to bridge the gap between science and society. Drawing on evidence, the declaration says there is “at least a realistic possibility of conscious experience in all vertebrates (including reptiles, amphibians, and fishes)”.

The scrutiny of the mirror test led to more studies, including one published this week showing cleaner wrasse will use a mirror to check their size before deciding whether to attack another fish. Fish now have the best supported evidence of any animal for mirror self-recognition, Brown says, yet “people still don’t believe it”.

[beanthebugboi]

Mycroft Holmes thingy for you

Don't do love, don't do friends I'm only after success Don't need a relationship I'll never soften my grip

(Like Sherlock says alone protects me, alone is the only thing he knows how to be)

(The only way he can function)

(Caring is not an advantage)

Don't want cash, don't want card Want it fast, want it hard Don't need money, don't need fame I just want to make a change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change

(It doesn't matter if no one on the outside knows who he is)

(He knows who he is)

(He knows that when he sees the reflection of the scared overweight boy he used to be, he can force his gaze to the mirror, force the recognition of who he has become to sink in)

(It doesn't work half the time, because reflective surfaces are everywhere, the small voice in his head screaming Just let me be anyone else has never stopped)

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh

(The Ice Man)

(No longer an armour, a skin)

(He cannot peel it off)

(He doesn't want to)

(In the end, everything rots)

One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

(He only has space for one person)

(Can't let anyone else in)

(He's only ever let himself acknowledge love for one person)

(When he can't sleep, he adds up all the minutes spent in front of CCTV cameras, grainy footage, the shadowy figure of a person he wants desperately to stay alive as he decides to kill himself in the slowest way possible, a thousand times over)

(Your loss would break my heart)

(Killed a part of himself for this job, never forgot his first one)

(Protect Sherlock)

(Even if you have to make him hate you to do it)

If you are not very careful Your possessions will possess you TV taught me how to feel Now real life has no appeal It has no appeal It has no appeal It has no appeal It has no appeal It has no appeal

(Is it a bad thing to want?)

(He always feels like it is)

(Like the curse of the human condition is to want)

(To let things wiggle in)

(Comforts because he is so endlessly hollow)

(Because he was born hollow, will die hollow)

(Stinking of the things he tries to fill the spaces with)

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh...

(He knows who he is, inside, outside)

(He has sculpted it himself, after all)

(But in the beginning the end looked so far away)

(It's drawing closer, he can't let himself be afraid)

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly I'm gonna fail, gonna die, die, die, die

(It's a panic, it's a curse)

(Mum, what's wrong with Mycroft?)

(It's a tickle that starts at the back of his neck, like a label scratching at his skin)

(Myc's having one of his little moments)

(Covers his whole body, smoke in his lungs)

(He is nothing, everyone is dying, everything is falling around him like ash and cinders in the hot breeze)

(And it will be all his fault, always his fault)

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh

(Caring is not an advantage)

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh

Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh

(Caring, is endless)

(Endless as the reflections on the ice)

(Endless as the boy's voice in the back of his head)

(Oh, Mycroft. What have you done?)

YESSSS OMFG I WILL NEVER HEAR THIS SONG THE SAME WAY AGAIN

"a person he wants desperately to stay alive as he decides to kill himself in the slowest way possible, a thousand times over" KJFHGSDSAJDHKJSKSDJSFS THIS THIS THIS

dammit now I wanna give Mycroft a hug, why must you do this to me

[truenotnew]

Free Will: A Persistent Illusion at the Crossroads of Christ and Consciousness

⸻

1. Introduction: The Mirage of Free Will

The belief in free will — the idea that an individual self independently chooses actions — lies at the heart of much of Western Christianity.

Yet both true spiritual insight and modern neuroscience declare the same fact:

Free will is an illusion.

• The experience of making choices is real.

• The assumption of an independent chooser is not.

This distinction is critical. Without it, the Gospel itself is misunderstood, salvation is distorted, and God’s true sovereignty is denied.

⸻

2. Scriptural Witness: Christ Against Free Will

Though often obscured by dogmatic readings, Jesus Himself consistently pointed past the illusion of separate agency.

Consider:

John 5:19

“The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing.”

John 14:10

“The Father, living in me, is doing His work.”

John 15:5

“Apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 6:44

“No one can come to me unless the Father draws them.”

John 10:30

“I and the Father are one.”

Luke 17:21

“The kingdom of God is within you.”

Jesus described a reality where there is no separate chooser — only the will of God unfolding through and as us.

⸻

3. The Fall: The Birth of Illusion

The story of the Garden of Eden is not an ancient moral fable about disobedience.

It is a mythopoetic revelation about consciousness itself:

• Eating from the Tree of Knowledge symbolizes the birth of dualistic perception.

• The first sin was not behavior, but the illusion of separateness from God — the belief in a self independent of Being.

This separation unfolds even today, within every human life.

Developmental psychology mirrors this pattern:

Around 15 to 24 months of age, a child begins to recognize themselves in a mirror — passing what is called the self-recognition test.

Before this moment, the infant lives in an Edenic state of pure presence, without division between self and world.

Afterward, the sense of “I” emerges, and with it, the duality of subject and object — the knowledge of good and evil, of self and other.

Thus, the Fall is not a punishment.

It is a developmental milestone.

Genesis 3:9 (paraphrased):

“Where are you?”

God’s question is not geographical.

It is existential.

“Why do you now imagine yourself apart from Me?”

The moment the child recognizes the reflection as me, a boundary forms.

The loss of innocence is not moral — it is cognitive.

From unity to separation.

From being to self-consciousness.

Free will, therefore, is not a divine gift.

It is the byproduct of this illusory fracture.

The first symptom of spiritual sickness.

But even this fracture serves a purpose:

The ego must arise so that it can later be transcended.

The path of salvation is not to destroy the ego, but to see through it — to return, as Jesus said, by becoming like little children once again.

Not regressing into ignorance, but consciously stepping beyond the illusion of separation.

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4. Neuroscience: Modern Confirmation

Neuroscientific studies confirm what Christ already revealed.

• Benjamin Libet showed that the brain initiates actions before we consciously decide to act.

• Soon, Haynes demonstrated that choices can be predicted seconds before conscious awareness.

The brain acts first.

The mind invents the story of choice afterward.

You are not driving the car. You are the scenery the car moves through.

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5. The Flat Earth Analogy: Misreading Reality

Believing in free will today is like insisting the Earth is flat because “it feels that way.”

At one time, humanity lacked the vantage point to see otherwise.

• Free will appears real from the limited, egoic view.

• But step outside that narrow perspective — and the illusion collapses.

Proverbs 3:5–6

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Just as the Earth never changed its shape, reality never depended on your opinion of it.

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6. The Overview Effect: The Astronaut’s Vision of No-Self

When astronauts view Earth from space, many report a cognitive shift called the Overview Effect:

• A sudden experience of oneness.

• A collapse of national, racial, and personal boundaries.

• A direct knowing: we are not separate from each other or the Earth.

This mirrors the Christian mystical realization:

When seen clearly, there is no self apart from God. More importantly, it illustrates the difference between thinking you know something and experiencing it without conceptual overlays. There is a significant difference between having opinions of free will and the experience that it is an illusion. Not the theory,the direct experience. Astronauts read about Earth from orbit.

They heard the reports. They knew the theory.

They thought they understood.

Then they saw it.

And everything changed.

Not because they learned something new.

Because they came into direct DIRECT EXPERIENCE.

The Overview Effect is the destruction of secondhand knowledge.

It is the gap between thinking you know and seeing without distance.

John 17:21:

“That they all may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

It was never a belief. It was contact.

It was not philosophy. It was rupture.

The same is true of the Kingdom of God.

You can argue theology forever.

You can memorize every verse.

You can preach for decades.

But until you see directly, you are still on the ground staring at a map.

John 17:21

“That they all may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

They saw — not believed — the truth Jesus pointed to.

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7. True Repentance: Metanoia, Not Moralism

“Repent” in the Greek New Testament is metanoia — a complete change of mind, a shift in perception.

Not:

• Feeling guilty.

• Trying harder.

• Boasting about choosing Christ.

But:

• Dying to the illusion of being a separate self.

• Realizing salvation is already present.

Matthew 18:3

“Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Children live without a solidified ego. That is the key.

Generally speaking and frankly all of Jesus' dualistic language can be understood as him seeing himself as a deterministic force in people's lives.  Furthermore, it can be argued that he was communicating to ppl at their level in a way they could benefit from his expressions. To argue against this interpretation based on his use of dualistic agential language is to misunderstand the mechanics of determinism. Taking perennial wisdom traditions into context, one could legitimately argue that it was a pedagogical concession to human cognitive limitations. Imho All apparent calls to choice are accommodated as pragmatic expressions, not literal affirmations of metaphysical free agency.

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8. Salvation: Not Achieved, but Revealed

Luke 17:21

“The Kingdom of God is within you.”

Salvation is not a prize for good behavior.

It is the unveiling of the unity that has always been.

Free will obscures it.

Surrender reveals it.

John 8:58

“Before Abraham was, I AM.”

Not “I was.”

I AM — timeless Being, always already true.

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9. Hard Determinism: God’s Sovereignty Is Total

Scripture makes clear:

God alone moves all things.

Romans 9:18

“Therefore God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and He hardens whom He wants to harden.”

Isaiah 45:7

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create evil. I, the Lord, do all these things.”

There is no free will.

There is only God’s will.

Your resistance to this truth?

Also God’s will — until you awaken.

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10. Conclusion: Beyond the Mirage

Free will is no more real than a child’s belief that the sun moves across the sky because the Earth appears still.

It is a misreading of perception — a developmental phase, not an eternal truth.

The Genesis story captures this shift with poetic precision:

The birth of the self, the knowledge of good and evil, the perception of separateness.

Developmental psychology now echoes the same pattern:

The moment a child recognizes its reflection, the original innocence is lost.

Not because of guilt.

Not because of rebellion.

But because consciousness itself fractures into subject and object.

Free will arises from this fracture.

The illusion of an independent self choosing independently is a side effect of perceiving oneself as separate from God.

But what was broken was not broken in anger.

It was broken in service to a greater return — a journey through separation back into union, not by erasing the ego, but by seeing through it.

The Gospel is not a just a plea for you to make better choices in harmony with your community.

It is an announcement that the separate chooser never existed.

It is not about earning salvation.

It is about recognizing that salvation — unity, wholeness, Eden — was never lost except in the mind.

John 14:20:

“On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.”

The “day” is not on a calendar.

It is the moment of awakening — the moment the mirror dissolves and you remember the world was never outside of you, always and never not, right now.

You are not the author of your being.

You are the being itself watching itself be.

Free will is not a gift.

It is a misunderstanding.

The Fall was not the beginning of evil.

It was the beginning of illusion of separation.

The return is not achieved through willpower.

It is revealed when the illusion of will dissolves.

You were never separate.

You only thought you were.

The Kingdom of God is not elsewhere.

It is here.

Now.

And always has been.

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Footnote:

Classical theological frameworks that attempt to reconcile free will with divine sovereignty (e.g., Augustine, Calvin) remain rooted in the illusion of separate agency and dualistic perception. The present work proceeds from the unveiled recognition that such frameworks, though earnest, operate within the very condition of separation that Christ came to dissolve. Astronauts in the international space station don't argue with flat earth theorists about flat earth theories. Columbus probably didn't entertain debating it either. Just saying. They just keep it real. That said, by all means continue to believe in free will, or not. But ask yourself, could you choose otherwise? What if Gods will is for you to believe in the illusion of free will until you don't, for reasons beyond your capacity for understanding? Why didn't Jesus just say this then? For the same reason you're driven to thinking and asking that question in the first place. Because this concept is not easy to grasp and sometimes it can ONLY be pointed at. Hence all the parables. To put it simply, you didn't choose what kind of soil you are, but oh is God going to till the hell out of you if your soil is hard headed. 😂I kill me. Get it? Or did that go over your head lik a halo😉

Bibliography (anchored in Scripture and Science)

• The Bible (Gospels of John, Luke, Matthew; Romans; Genesis)

• Libet, B. (1983). Time of conscious intention to act…

• Soon, C. S., Brass, M., Heinze, H. J., & Haynes, J. D. (2008). Unconscious determinants of free decisions…

• Seth, A. (2021). Being You: A New Science of Consciousness.

• Friston, K. (2010). The Free-Energy Principle…

• Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

• Spinoza, Ethics

• Schopenhauer, The World as Will and Representation

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Who is this essay for?

People already cracking open to the unreality of the ego.

Those who have started to notice that “I” isn’t as solid as they once believed — maybe through deep suffering, mysticism, psychedelics, meditation, existential reflection, or just raw life experience.

It’s for seekers who are ready to be destabilized further — who want the lie of separate agency exposed even if it hurts a little.

Mystics, nondualists, serious contemplatives.

Folks drawn to Meister Eckhart, John of the Cross, Advaita Vedanta, Sufism, Zen, Christian apophatic theology — those are the natural audience.

They know something is wrong with the “free will” story, and they’re hungry for a deep, honest, scripturally-rooted yet post-conceptual articulation.

Thinkers unafraid of paradox.

Because the essay moves between apparently contradictory modes (scripture and neuroscience, determinism and teaching, humor and rupture), it’s perfect for people who can hold multiple truths together without freaking out.

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Who is this essay NOT for?

Hard-line free-will moralists or conventional evangelical Christians.

If your identity is tightly wrapped around choosing Jesus and personal responsibility as the crux of salvation — this essay will feel like an attack on everything you think makes life meaningful.

It doesn’t gently argue with that framework. It basically declares it a misunderstanding born of a cognitive illusion.

Pure materialist atheists without any mystical bent.

If someone believes that all experiences of unity, oneness, or the collapse of self are just brain glitches with no real “truth content” — they’ll find the essay too spiritually loaded.

It assumes that mystical perception is more real, not less.

People who demand simple, clean-cut systems.

The essay invites living into the mystery, not resolving it neatly.

Anyone looking for tidy theology (“God is sovereign and humans are responsible, neatly tied up in a bow”) is going to be frustrated because this essay rips that open and says: “Deal with the unresolvable directly.”

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[coyotetatertot]

CW addiction, family breakup discussion, with a side of ranting about Emma-May and bi erasure. I'm a little drunk right now and so I'm not being kind in this one. 💧 Not tagging this under the fidds tag because the average fiddleford fan fucking terrifies me.

Thinking about the implications of the pterodactyl in combination with the stated purpose of the gobblewonker. The gobblewonker being made "to catch (Tate's) fancy" implies that murderous robots are Fidds' best attempt at reaching out. A twisted, broken combination of his love language of gift giving and his need to build & be constructive for his own self-worth.

As a side note, do you know how much trouble and extra work that would have caused for a LAKE RANGER LMFAO. It's Tate's literal job to keep people from killing themselves out there and now there's a robot constructed for that purpose. Probably taking a few cracks at him, too, given he's a fisherman.

This .. ties into how McGucket is coded as a late stage meth addict. Not just with the physical symptoms (hair and teeth falling out, injuries that won't heal, etc) but with the mental symptoms, too. Mania and delusions — the latter being the key one, here. If you've ever listened to the families of late stage meth addicts, you might know about the thought patterns addicts tend to get stuck in. Many of them become convinced of falsehoods, think they're doing something good, and don't realize they're crossing boundaries and hurting those closest to them.

So to me, it tracks that for Fiddleford, delusions can manifest as a killer robot for a gift. As he's stated HIMSELF, he's convinced that it's a good thing. A sign of love. A plea for his son to visit him, again. Unable to process that it's actively endangering Tate, instead.

This is pertinent because Fidds loved his family above all else. Keeping their picture on his desk, fawning over them to Ford and going on about how they're the only people that keep him grounded. Foreshadowing for when they WERE the only thing that kept him grounded: he threw away every part of himself, including his own fucking name ("look! It's them words people call me!") but he NEVER forgot his wife and kid. The way his brain was collapsing in on itself "LIKE A NEUTRON STAR" and yet he held on to the memories of his wife and child. Fiddleford's mind was so fucking broken he thought his own reflection was a separate person with whom he could have a territory war. Literally failing a mirror self-recognition test, one of the cornerstones of how we classify cognition, and yet he STILL recognized his adult son, and remembers the date he last visited. Even when he forgot to get them Christmas gifts (bad, and an example of how addiction can fuck with your deeply-held values), he was devastated with how he'd hurt them and immediately locked himself away. Imagining the dread and guilt festering in him as he processed what he'd done — might have even been the moment he realized he had a problem (?)

The amount of love this man had for his family is one of the most compelling and gut-wrenching things about this tragedy. Because all this pain came from good intentions. It came from a place of love. It inadvertently turned him against the people he loved most — and for the latter stages, he probably didn't realize just how much he was hurting them. That is what addiction can do. It can and will FUCK you and turn you into a bomb that devastates everyone around you. And in the words of an addict, "The hardest part about recovery isn't keeping yourself from using. It's coping with the things you did back when you were using."

And that aspect of storytelling gets slept upon by fandom because we'd prefer to erase Emma-May as a problem character and rewrite Fiddleford's canon relationship as comphet despite it being one of his biggest motivators. And it ain't enough for him to be bisexual because then that'd imbue the marriage and family with too much meaning; for him to be maximally shippable, we have to nullify how he felt about his marriage, thereby rewriting his priorities, and making the full, ugly, devastating brunt of the consequences of addiction fall to the wayside. Because it's fucking hard to delve into the realities of waking up, realizing that your wife gave up on you, your son grew up fatherless and has watched you at your lowest point for years, you endangered both their lives with terrible machines, and YOU destroyed THEIR futures as well as your own, when we don't want to admit just how much these people meant to Fiddleford to begin with.

Which brings me back to the pterodactyl. I can't help but wonder if, like the gobblewonker, it was supposed to be a gift. A cry for help. Perhaps even begging to take him back, because he was circling the drain and losing his family — again, the thing he clung to the hardest — was one of the last milestones on the way down.

And I can't help but think that would be more compelling — and consistent with what we know about Fiddleford's attitude while addicted. "Some desperate part of him seemed to be trying to heal himself, hoping to weld his memories back together like one of his robots." Fiddleford isn't the kind of guy to sit idly by; he tries to fix shit. If his last ditch attempt to win his family back ended up traumatizing them instead?? What a poetic and thematically brilliant way that would be for the end of their family breakup.

And what a heartbreaking, bleak reality he would have to confront whenever he regains his mind.