#mmmmm >:]
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so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, before she said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife.
then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
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It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus
#yesterday i made a complainy post about a whale edit having people confused about whale sharks and orcas' dolphin and whale identity#but honestly i cant even hold these things against someone. its confusing that whale sharks are called with two different animal names!#and if you only know about the whale dolphin porpoise divide then you may not know that dolphins and porpoises and others are toothed whale#i dont think anyone is actually stupid for not having this information preinstalled in their brains#if anything it makes me happy to get to explain things because i love explaining things that i know :D#however... this#it just makes me sad :(#its so weird when this whole thing is subjected towards OTHER VERTEBRATES too like fish or reptiles or amphibians#like man.... you are a fish. your ancestors were buddy buddy (or actually probably enemy enemy) with the ancestors of these guys#fish are like a whole other class of animal to a lot of people dont even get me started#they never get the same protections as mammals or birds do even if they are just as or more endangered#mmmmm i wont rant now#biology
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“i can fix him” “i can make him worse” i can imagine him in little scenarios every night as i’m falling asleep
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[ X ]
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#mmmmm sharing from twitter because its Real Good and i wanna save it
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Bellara's autism rizz is off the charts btw
#datv#comic#dragon age#veilguard#bellara lutare#neve gallus#dragon age the veilguard#nevellara#neve x bellara#da4#i might revisit this later#i tried a diff way to do colors and mmmmm#idk how i feel#but these are my cuties
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Post cancelled look at my new oc instead
haha ahaahaha aah ah aaaaahh
#mm mm mmmmm yummy cigarettes#doodles#my art#illustration#character design#sfw furry#LOL LMFAO#I AM RIGGING THE SYSTEM#FUCK YOU#yaoi#artists on tumblr#MUAHAHAHA
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Vash sketch!
#I love playing around with yummy colors mmmmm#I still need to go see the og trigun#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun stampede#illustration#trigun fanart#trigun vash#vash fanart#hikariito art
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thinking about being the new addition to tf141. you are an asset given to laswell by the CIA, a timid little thing but your aim is always on target, and you are quiet, tech savvy, and you do as you're told. (18+, dark)
just how lieutenant riley prefers. he dwarfs you. the first time you meet, your eyes nearly come out of your head from how wide they go. he's so large, and you feel so tiny compared to him, and even though he does nothing but a disinterested once over, it is obvious to the rest of the team that you might just be his favorite.
it's most obvious in the subtle touches. when you're getting ready to jump, ghost comes up from behind and tugs on your parachute, nearly topping you over making sure it's secure. when you're getting ready in the back of the humvee, he reaches over and buckles your thigh holster for you when he notices the strap is coming loose. you nearly choke when you feel his big hand between your thighs, and you stare up at him with wide eyes when his pinkie moves up the seam of your zipper when he tugs his hand away.
and then the way he's on your six is unlike anything else. like glue, chest pressed to your back, his gloved hand squeezing your waist as he moves you every which way he pleases because you're so small to him, so easy, and he growls under his breath when he touches the curve of your hips or the fat of your ass.
maybe you might enjoy it if he wasn't so fucking awkward about it. if he didn't stare at you without blinking. if he didn't adjust his cock in his jeans right in front of you. if he didn't grip you by the back of your head, tugging you any way he wanted as if scolding a kitten using the scruff of their neck.
you think the team would notice by now--that they would step in, tell ghost to back off, but they turn a blind eye. they tolerate this behavior, and you don't know if it's because ghost is so good at his job, they don't want to, or that they are so afraid of him, they refuse to say anything.
or maybe they approve. maybe it keeps ghost at bay. maybe it keeps a lion in his den. a spider in its nest. maybe indulging ghost in his fucked form of flirting and socialization is what keeps the foundations of this team right where it needs to be--and you realize, slowly, that maybe that is why you're here.
because ghost likes them soft, and they need to put a muzzle on their dog.
so when you feel him in the dark, slipping a gloved hand under the blanket that keeps you warm at night, he is pleasantly surprised to find you awake. and even more surprised to feel your hand slipping the soft lace of your panties right into his fucking pocket.
"they teach y'that 'n basic training? how ta give y'r knickers to y'r lieutenant, eh?"
"no," you whisper, and when you meet his eyes in the dark, he looks so hungry. he's untamed, no training, he's used to getting what he wants with no resistance. you turn over in bed, and you don't get to see the way he sucks on his teeth when you let your knees fall, revealing the pretty place between your thighs, soft and puffy and wet, just waiting for a good mutt to eat her up. "but i learned other things."
"tha' right?"
"yeah," you say softly, and you turn over onto your stomach, pushing back onto your knees right in front of him. he bends, leaning over until he's pushing his masked face right into the seam of your cunt, and you grip the sheets tight when he inhales deeply, a rumble following as both of his hands grip either side of your ass and spread you open for him. you're drooling, wetting the nylon fabric, and you gasp when you feel the wet, warm muscle of his tongue suck on your folds through the mask. it's lewd, and you're wetting the material so much it sticks to the strong lines of his face, but he continues, tilting his head to the side as he laps at the pretty slick that dampens your thighs.
"what'd y'learn then, swee'eart?"
not how to fuck your lieutenant. but...you did learn to keep them happy.
"h-how to be a good girl."
and you think you feel him smile.
#mmmmm#i like them big and awkward and mean#and i like controlling big dogs with pussy 😃#makes me feel powerful ok#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!simon
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1890-1900 pearl go brrrrrrrr 💫
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This is extremely experimental but hii
#spn#spn fanart#supernatural#crowley spn#spn crowley#spn castiel#supernatural fanart#castiel#rowena mcleod#rowena spn#gabriel spn#gabriel supernatural#mmmmm#posting once in a blue moon
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ng+ doodles and royaltrio
#i like putting all the confidant items on ng+ akiras design (ryuji watch mona scarf etc) but i couldnt figure out how to add most of them#like visibly#something seomthng velvet room key and lavenza The idea is there. or something. idk#mmmmm yeag....#got nothing to yap about for once so . hm#did u guys know i like cheng xiaoshi ? go watch link click#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5r#p5#joker persona 5#kurusu akira#akira kurusu#amamiya ren#ren amamiya#goro akechi#akechi goro#yoshizawa sumire#sumire yoshizawa#morgana#my art
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angry boy
#kyle gaz garrick#mmmmm butcher scene#for anyone whos lost if you stay with the butcher after u get the intel if u wait long enough he calls gaz an angry boy#I WAS FUCKMING RIGHT#GAZ REPRESSED ANGER#its my new fave moment in the games sooooo good perfectly subtle too one of the few rlly good story telling moments from activison#activision can still suck my dick#call of duty#cod#call of duty modern warfare#digital art#art#illustration#rendering#digital painting#digital drawing#digital aritst#call of duty modern warfare 2#fanart#gaz
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the revelation that claudia’s rebirth was such a twisted and horrible moment, with louis dragging her like she was a thing, a stranger who neither of them knew but he kept saying over and over “our daughter, our beautiful little daughter” to lestat, really solidified the way she was never the main character of her own story. she was always an accessory to some or the other of louis’ whims: his guilt, his loneliness, his conflict of being a killer, his rocky relationship with lestat. there was love there, love from both her fathers, but it was never enough. lestat saw her too much as a wretched mirror held up to his own self, and louis was always too steeped in his own feelings to care enough about hers. claudia’s story truly was the greatest tragedy in this tale, treated horribly by every man around her, even her fathers, relentlessly exploited and brutally ignored, always second and never first. the only one who loved her the way she deserved to be loved was madeleine, and the moment she truly had her, her happiness was torn from her. and just before she died, she got to see someone actually choose her in her entirety, not for what she can be but for who she is, and it still wasn’t enough. she still burned alive in the sunlight. the love was there, but it wasn’t enough to save her.
#i want to scream i am still mourning my girl claudia#SHE DIDN'T DESERVE THIS#and fuckass armand in his silly little playpen “unable” to prevent it like NO. YOU COULD HAVE. YOU JUST DIDN'T CARE.#absolutely stumped as to how on earth louis stayed with him after this#like yea the gaslighting and the lies but king... he froze the whole coven at dinner once and stopped time and shit. he can save claudia.#but he didn't and louis might have forgiven him for it but i never will !!!#that being said i still love armand 😋#this is what makes these characters so gothic and fascinating imo#these terrible things they do contrasted with the intense way they love each other#mmmmm scrumm dilly yum yum a purr purr !!!!#interview with the vampire#claudia#claudia iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#armand#armand iwtv#iwtv amc#iwtv spoilers
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THE MANAGERR !!!!!!!!!
this is my silly art style,,, I’ve missed it,, anyway silly art for a silly guy (hopefully)
#look. listen. Do I trust this literal manifestation of the crawling chaos creature of a thousand forms? No. but#MMMMM…. wife#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#my art#the manager malevolent#malevolent spoilers
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summer of junior year 06/11
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#fabian seacaster#adaine abernant#the bad kids#this is like. the First time I put down a palette for the kids lmao#I thiiiink its pretty consistent with the tones I did with my early sketches? iirc#gods. Ive been staring at this for Hours. I need to sleep lol#summer... it is happening. I feel like that always brings with it big emotions for me#it is. a little bit funny to me that whether these kids get a peaceful summer or not depends fully on how many roll20 campaigns happen#between now and a definitive end/last season of fh lmao#but also the last ''summer'' movie I watched was uhhh summer of 84. which. mmmmm#grim affair! so I'd need to stock up on less gloomy stuff to even think abt this...#well. what I need right now is sleep. so sleep I shall. thank u for tuning in today. see u again I think
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Heeheehee- plus a couple of my faves
#tma season 5#arcane#arcane Jayce#arcane jayce talis#jayce talis#arcane viktor#jayvik#arcane season 2#mmmmm Magnus archives and arcane again
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