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messers-moony · 4 years ago

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Wish | F.H

Paring: Five Hargreeves X Wife!Reader

Summary: Five storms out to time travel after an argument with his wife and comes back to an unexpected surprise.

A/N: Five time travels at the age of 26 instead of 13

He was angry, that wasn’t mistaken, “ You aren’t listening to me! “

“ Are you hearing yourself?! What you’re about to do is dangerous! “ She yelled in response, and he scoffed.

They stood in the main room of their apartment. Y/n was placed in the kitchen leaning on the island while Five was dangerously close to the door. Both of them at the age of twenty-five. They had gotten married only a year before finding each other during one of his trips to Griddy’s with his siblings. He thought she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

Five stalked closer to her, “ You are so stubborn. “

“ I am the strongest one. “ His voice was dangerously low as they stood only a foot apart, “ I will do this. I don’t care what you say. Nothing will change that. “

“ Five, please. “ Y/n begged, “ I’m- I’m just worried about you. “

“ You don’t need to be. “ Five snapped, and he fast-walked to the door.

The male swung open the door, “ Five wait, please- “ But before she could finish, the door slammed, “ I’m pregnant. “

It was new news. She didn’t find out until a week earlier. She didn’t know when to tell him; there never was a suitable time. Now he had just threatened to fulfill a lifetime goal of his– time travel. Since he was a boy, he’s wanted to prove his worth. The only way Five could think to do that is by time-traveling into the future. He didn’t know what the future would entail. He definitely didn’t plan to get stuck in an apocalypse.

So for nine torturous months, Y/n endured a pregnancy. She was carrying a child of her presumed to be dead husband, which she didn’t believe in the slightest. Five Hargreeves was alive, and she knew that regardless of what anyone told her. She had a baby boy who she named Malachi. The same bright, alluring green as his fathers.

Despite his birth father not being around, Diego was a significant help. Diego stepped in where Five couldn’t. He was there for all of Malachi’s firsts and everything in between. But he was always Uncle Diego. A constant reminder that this man wasn’t his father. As far as the little boy knew, he didn’t have a father.

Things got more tricky as he got older. Malachi realized that a father figure was more common than not, which brought raising questions. She answered to the best of her abilities, but nothing was ever valid. None of her answers could be a hundred percent true because she didn’t know either. It was killing her to see her son this way.

He longed for a father. Wanted nothing more for a father-son relationship. Every birthday, every Christmas, he wished for his father to come home. It was killing Y/n because she understood his pain. The amount of dread, guilt, and sadness.

Maybe if she had told Five sooner, he would’ve never left. The guilt ate away at her. It was like an insect slowly crawling its way under her skin into her bones and nibbling them until they were gone. It didn’t help Malachi was an exact replica of his father. The dark, almost raven hair parted to the side, the glittering green eyes and a defined face.

No matter how long Five was gone, Y/n never took off her rings. She was a married woman until proven otherwise. Malachi had never even seen photos of his father. That was normal to him. All he knew was that his Uncles and Aunts told him he looked the exact same. Despite the same appearances, they had clashing personalities.

Malachi was the sweetest guy you could ever meet. Kind no matter who the person was. Wise beyond his years and intelligent like no other. His strong suit was English while he struggled in math. The irony was amusing. His father excelled in math, but he couldn’t do a two-step equation if he tried.

In the grand scheme of things, this didn’t matter. He got all the way up to high school. He was seventeen, to be exact, in his junior year of school. It was the summer before his senior year, and he couldn’t be more excited. As the years went on, the hope of meeting his father diminished to the point where he didn’t even think about it anymore.

He had his mom, and that’s all that mattered. His mom was his rock, his number one supporter, and his best friend. Malachi loved his mom more than anything and would give anything to keep her safe. Diego had grown to be like a father to him, but it was never the same. Malachi was sitting at the island doing homework while Y/n was cooking.

“ Hey, mom? “ He called, “ Yeah? “ Y/n turned to look at her son.

Malachi fidgeted with the pencil in his hand, “ Can I- Can I see your rings? “

“ My rings? Why? “ She asked, “ Well, dad gave them to you, didn’t he? “ Malachi replied.

Y/n nodded, “ Of course he did. We were married, technically we still are married. “

“ I just wanted to see what dad gave you. “ He murmured.

Hesitantly Y/n twisted both her engagement ring and her wedding ring off her left ring finger. She set them down on the granite island before her son so he could look at them. Gently he picked the engagement ring up and looked at it. It was the only time he’s ever seen the ring this close. She never took them off.

“ We got engaged in the snow. “ Y/n informed quietly, “ I really wasn’t expecting it. He never seemed like one to settle down. “

Malachi listened intently, “ Regardless. It was almost Christmas, and he took me to go Christmas shopping at one of the malls which was outside. “ She chuckled, “ Why he did that, I don’t know, but it was amusing. We got hot chocolate despite his love for coffee, and I made him wear a Santa hat. “

“ He was never into festivities before meeting me. Neither were your Aunts and Uncles. I started making holidays become more festive when you were born. Eventually, they got the hang of it. “ Y/n continued, “ Why was dad's name a number? “ He interjected.

“ He never got a name like the rest of his siblings. “ She answered plainly, “ Why? “

Y/n sighed, “ His father, more specifically your grandfather was a cruel man. Still is a very cruel man, which is why you’ve never met him. Reginald made the Umbrella Academy, where he adopted your dad along with his other siblings. “ She explained, “ They endured long days of training without breaks and horrid living environments. They were treated as experiments rather than children. “

“ They all got names, but Five didn’t want one. He rejected it because it didn’t matter. Name or anything. Their numbers would always define them, and Five was the only one who understood that. “ She finished.

“ What really happened to him? I know you’ve given me vague explanations, but I think I’m ready for the real thing. “ Malachi stated, “ I’m seventeen now. “

“ I know. Your father had powers. His others siblings do as well. They all do certain things. Five could travel through space and time. “ Y/n began, “ Growing up, he always felt the need to prove himself, to be better than everyone else. “

“ So, one day, he told me he was going to time travel. It was a big argument that definitely didn’t need to happen. At the time, I was a week pregnant with you, and I didn’t know how to tell him. “ She swallowed the emotions arising after remembering Five’s glare,

“ When I told him, it was too late. He was already out the door and gone. “

Y/n walked forward and took the rings back. She placed them back on her ring finger carefully as her son watched every movement. He knew she was upset. Malachi couldn’t help but be a bit resentful towards his father. All this to make a point? It seemed far-fetched.

“ That solution seems a bit absurd. “ Malachi commented, “ That's what I was trying to tell him, but he was very prideful and stubborn. “ Y/n replied.

A knock echoed through the apartment. The room felt tense. It wasn’t right; something felt off. Malachi felt it immediately cause he stood up and began walking to the door, wanting to protect his mother if a threat was there. Secretly Diego may have given him some defense classes, but that didn’t matter.

The boy opened the door to see almost the exact same face staring back at him, “ Who are you? “ Malachi snapped.

“ More importantly, who are you? “ The man retorted.

Every hair on Y/n’s body stood up. She knew that voice, and she knew that tone. It was him. He was back. It took everything inside her not to scream or cry but seeing Malachi hold his defensive stance against his own father was worrying her.

“ Malachi. “ She called, and he turned to her as she began to walk to the door, “ I need you to go to your room and promise not to eavesdrop. “

He wanted to protest, “ Please, sweet. I’ll be okay. I promise. “

Reluctantly Malachi backed away from the door giving the man a harsh glare that made the man evidently tense. Y/n waited for Malachi to be fully retreated in his bedroom before looking at the man in front of her.

“ Well. It looks like you’ve moved on. “ Five murmured, “ No- please. It isn’t what it looked like. “ She pleaded.

Her hand took his, and he recognized the rings on her finger. The same rings Malachi had just been examining. The same rings he took months to search for to find the perfect fit for his perfect girl. Everything seemed so colorful in his greyscale world now. His wife was still his.

“ Who- Who is he? “ His voice trembled as his lingering suspicion felt more accurate than ever, “ Come in and sit. We need to talk. “ Her voice was gentle and held no malice.

Five entered the now unrecognizable apartment. It wasn’t the same as when he left. In fact, everything seemed moved out of place. Y/n walked to the stove and turned off the burner that she was using. Five had peered at the papers on the island that were math worksheets and took a seat beside them.

“ Where did you go? “ She asked, “ The future. “

“ No shit. What did it look like? “ Y/n retorted playfully, “ It’s not as I hoped. It’s an apocalypse, love. “ His voice held so much pent emotion it was almost radiating off him.

She sighed, “ Okay. We need to talk about that- “

“ I- I want to know who that kid is. “ Five interrupted, and she gave him a knowing look, “ Malachi, can you come out here. “ Y/n called, and instantly he was out of his room.

The boy stood beside his mom, still not comfortable with the unfamiliar man. This time Five got a chance to really look at the teenage boy in front of him. The defined face, the almost raven hair, the same sage green eyes. His posture was protective and territorial, obviously for his mom.

“ Y/n… “ Five began as he swallowed the tears in his throat, “ Is- Is he mine? “

She nodded, “ Five Hargreeves, I’d like you to meet your son, Malachi Hargreeves. Malachi, I’d like you to meet your father, Five. “

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duckymcdoorknob · 3 years ago

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Hi its me! If it’s alright, I’d love to order (apologies if the formatting is weird- I wrote this in the notes app to make sure I did it right):

A box decorated with glitter- white + milk chocolate(platonic! Chifuyu and Baji) all square shapes with half chili and half lemon crème? :3

I bring this cute ducky gif as a offering :3

TOKREVVVVV!!!!!!

YES YOU CAN I AM VERY THE E X C I T E D

CANT WAIT TO BULLY ONE OF MY FAVS

Thank you for the payment, I accept!

CW: Tickles below the cut!!

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑦 ❤︎

Rainy days in the base are absolute torture for poor Baji. Not only can he not go outside because of illness risks, he has to stay pent up inside with his friends. And mother of god, how are they THIS boring? They’re gang members for crying out loud! I mean who knew that Draken liked horror stories?

As Baji surveyed the room, he couldn’t help but become even more bored. He did, however, find Takemichi and Mikey’s antics to be quite enthralling. The two blondes had made cardboard box forts, pretending to be rival kingdoms. As for Draken, the co-captain found himself seated patiently in Takemichi’s cardboard castle, engrossed in a book.

He curved around to spy Chifuyu and Mitsuya, who were absolutely glued to the table. In a fit of boredom, Chifuyu had asked Mitsuya to teach him how to sew, resulting in the entire afternoon being busy. His greatest creation? A small stuffed teddy bear.

Baji approached the table, sitting across from his buddy, “My my, what have we here?”

Without averting his gaze, Chifuyu replied with “Sheer focus and my own handiwork. Don’t make me prick myself with this needle.”

With a snort and a swipe of the teddy bear, Baji uttered “Oh? What’s this?”

“Hey! Give that back!” The blonde boy growled, placing down his current project.

“Oooh, so scary. What ever shall I do?” He teased, tossing it in the air and catching it repeatedly.

Except on the third catch, a stitch untied, and the entire bear began to deteriorate.

“Baji gasped. “Oh shit, Chi’ M’sorry.”

Chifuyu stood from the table and groaned. “Seriously? That was mine! And I was really proud of it!”

“I said I’m sorry!”

“Get over here!”

With a yelp, Baji pivoted on the ball of his socked foot and ran into the main room once again. Looking around frantically, the long haired boy completely stopped in his tracks.

“Baaaajiiii!” The angry boy yelled, bounding after him.

“Oooh someone pissed off Chifuyu.” Mikey cooed, adjusting his fast food crown.

“Mikey! Is there room for any peasants in your castle?” Baji yelped desperately.

“Hmmm.” The blonde boy thought, tapping his chin. “Not for runaway criminals. Sorry, Baji.“

Bronze eyes widened as socked feet lost their grip on the floor... Chifuyu had caught up and tackled Baji straight to the carpeting.

Four pairs of eyes met the duo, who was currently wrestling on the fluffy carpet. Now, Chifuyu was not expecting to win, given Baji’s fantastic strength. But what he wasn’t expecting was a clear-cut victory opportunity to appear right before his eyes.

The blonde’s eyebrows furrowed, staring down at the panicked boy beneath him. “Dude.”

Baji gulped.

“Did you just try to tickle me?”

“Maybe!” The long haired boy cried in defense, “Always works on Mikey!”

A gasp and a little yelp of “rude” emitted from one another of the castles.

“Always works eh?” Chifuyu thought out loud, reaching for the broken bear.

In natural response, his arm shot up in the air to keep it away from his friend.

The blonde took this opportunity to grab Baji’s wrist, holding it firmly above his head.

“Don’t you fucking da-ahahahare!” the long haired boy giggled as wiggling fingers came in contact with his underarm.

The group around them stared in awe. Baji giggles? He’s ticklish? Since when?

“Well, well well.” Chifuyu quipped, “If it isn’t the consequences of your actions.”

“Leheheheave mehehehe alohohohone!” The trapped boy whined, writhing a bit to try and escape.

“Oh I am never leaving you alone after this!” The blonde chimed, “breaking news: Big, Bad Baji. ToMan’s most intimidating member, taken down by some tickles.”

As he moved his free hand down to prod at Baji’s ribs, the boy snoreted. “This just in! He snorts! You heard it here, folks.”

“Chihihifuhuhuyu! Ihihihill kihihill yohohohou!” The brunette whined as his face flushed from the teasing.

“I don’t think you have the abilities to do that, bossman.”

Baji’s laughter rose in volume as Chifuyu started to dig into his stomach. “Because last time I checked, I wasn’t the one pinned to the ground and getting tickled.”

“CHIHIHIFUHUHUYUHUHU! STAHAHAHAP!”

“No! You broke my bear! I spent ages on that!”

“Chifuyu I can make you anoth-“ Mitsuya interjected, but ultimately ceasing. Who would pass up a golden opportunity like this, to see Baji lose his mind over something so childish?

The blonde boy’s fingers poked around every single toned muscle of Baji’s torso, eliciting the most desperate laughter he had ever heard.

“IHIHIHIM SOHOHOHORRY! JUHUHUST STAHAHAP!”

The long haired boy squealed in agony as Chifuyu let go of his arm and suddenly began to squeeze both of his thighs.

“GAH! NONONONOHOHOHOHO! CHIHIHIHIFUHUHUHUYU! IHIHIHIT TIHIHIHIHICKLEHEHES!”

“And? I don’t think I’ve heard you complaining yet.” The evil blonde chimed.

“IHIHIHITS TOOHOHOHO BAHAHAHAD! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Oh now we’re complaining?” With a few clicks of the tongue, and shakes of the head, Chifuyu continued to absolutely tease his best friend, “Y’know, Draken always told us that complaining gets us nowhere, except in a pre-school classroom.”

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP!” Baji whined, shoving at the blonde sitting on his torso.

“This is pretty entertaining.” Draken whispered to Takemichi, both of them slightly peeking over the castle walls.

“I’m just glad I’m not Baji. Chifuyu’s mean. I would just die on the spot instantly.” the latter whispered, feeling touches ghost over his torso.

Finally, having gathered up enough strength, Baji shoved his assailant off of him. He immediately dove onto the blonde’s chest and tried to tickle him in the same spot as before.

“Not ticklish there!”

“There, huh?”

And that, everyone, is the story of how Chifuyu totally dug his own grave. It’s also the story of the great ToMan tickle fight, because in the end, everyone was somehow on the receiving end.

With some god-forsaken bit of luck, Baji pinched at the blonde’s sides, his most ticklish spot.

“BAHAHAHAJIHIHI! LEHEHEAVEHEHE MEHEHE ALOHOHOHONE!”

“No! You’re mean! All of the guys know I’m ticklish now, and I’m gonna make you pay!”

“Don’t worry, Chifuyu!” Takemichi chimed victoriously from his castle, “The king will save you!”

“Not if I can help it!” Draken chimed, roaring and pulling Takemichi to the floor, delivering the same treatment that Baji was giving Chifuyu.

“And then there were two…” Mitsuya quipped, slowly approaching his captain.

“Y’know what…” Mikey stated suddenly, laying across the floor with his arms up, “It’s been a few years. Go nuts.”

As Mikey’s giggles mixed into the group’s, the entire gang was very pleased for the rain outside.

❣︎𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒’𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡❣︎

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

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ellitx · 4 years ago

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elli have you ever think about the twins caught [name] masturbation and moaned their name?

anon asked: Hi idk if you’ve received something like similar to this but, what do u think himmel and Venti would do if their fem s/o is touching their breasts or chest lmao. , they were just walking around the house and stumbled across their lover, laying and just doing her own stuff— Like, for us, its considered as our stress reliever and I can’t seem to get it off my head 🤣

You tried to relieve all your stress building inside you by touching yourself, imagining your two childhood friends touching you, kissing you, licking your body, breasts, and nipples. Thinking about the boys hours away from the meeting, you ran your hands down your belly. Your right forefinger touching your clitoris while the left forefinger goes deep inside you, pretending to be one of the twins’ penis.

What would their cock feel, surrounded by your soft, collapsing caves of flesh? You hate that your fingers aren't big enough, it’s too small unlike Venti’s. Though his hands are a bit calloused from constantly playing his guitar, you always love touching and tracing his fingers then to his knuckles, and you wonder what it would feel like if he inserts his digits in your sloppy and dripping cunt.

You shut your eyes tightly and moaned as you put in two fingers and spread your lips. You miss Venti. You miss Himmel. How long has it been since you’ve last seen them? The three of you were too busy with uni, unable to find the time to spend together, and the invitation to meet up together in your dorm brought a big smile to your face.

There are still two more hours left before they come knocking on your door. You want to take your time imagining them eating you out, fucking you, kissing you, and whispering in your ears how much they’ve missed holding you, their beloved and precious muse, lover, and friend.

You moved your fingers to the rhythm, feeling the two inside get creamy as your clit began to become hard and red.

“Hng… Venti~ Himmel— ah!” you gasped, the word nearly just a breath that they coaxed out of you with a sturdy thrust of their cocks. You envisioned Himmel looking down at you with lust in his eyes. A low, soft growl reverberated from his throat as he moved his lips to cover yours. He offered you a kiss, a gesture as sweet as him, and locked your tongue together with his.

Venti had a firm grasp on your hips and held you steady as he gave another thrust of his hips to reach deep inside you. Your moans were muffled by Himmel’s lips and it added another stimulation when Venti bit on your shoulder while he fucked you deeper and faster.

“Fuck… you’re… so tight…” He murmured against your skin while hugging you close to his chest. His fingers reached to your nipples to fiddle and pinch them. He loves to see every reaction he can get from you and he licked his lips seeing how red your face was with a little bit of drool coming from the corner of your mouth as you moaned and cried their names.

Himmel returned to trailing much softer bites around your neck and shoulders; shoving his dick profoundly until the tip reached deep inside your slick and clenching walls, then your words dissolved back into breathy and incohesive moans.

The rough pad of Venti’s fingers found your clit, and the moment he began to press rough— demanding circles into it— your mind went blank at the unusual euphoric happening to you all at once.

You angled your hips to directly press into his fingers and took more of Himmel’s cock in the process. The heat was coiling in your stomach, preparing itself to release a burst of pleasure, and you were almost there.

Almost—

“Venti— Himmel… I-I’m coming…!”

And just like that, the hand on your clit and the cocks and fingers filling your holes disappeared. Both boys are gone, nowhere to be seen.

You wanted to cry. You were so close to your release. Your thighs shook with arousal, toes curling and uncurling as you lay there, deciding what to do. How long have you been touching yourself?

You turned your head to face the alarm next to your bed.

6:28 PM

There’s still more time left before Venti and Himmel will come here. Might as well get yourself off and reach your own release. You placed your hand back to your wet pussy and in a few moments, you were back to the point of almost reaching the edge, almost finally reaching the orgasm that you’ve always wanted.

You murmured their names breathily, your face flushed red from the recent unwholesome thoughts of the twins while you raised your other free hand to cup your breast and rub your nipples with your thumb, pulling and squeezing them occasionally. You pressed your thighs together and buried your face on the pillow to muffle your moans, moving your fingers faster and deeper in your cunt.

As you get closer, you moaned their names again, not quite meaning to and not quite thinking about what it would do. You said it like a mantra, crying those two familiar names of the twins you’ve loved so much again and again and again so loudly each time it slipped from your mouth before losing the ability to speak and just focused on pumping one hand to brush your clit— fucking yourself with your fingers— and the other to knead your breasts. The dual sensation is enough to send you over the edge.

You arched your back tightly as you imagined both of them sucking your breasts hysterically as you came. Your entire body released in a flood of pent-up tension and arousal, your fingers still helping you through the aftershocks as your lips were parted a bit in a silent cry.

For a moment, you remained still with your eyes closed, just basking in the sensation. It felt so nice along with the rush of pleasure running throughout your body.

Your eyes jolted open when you hear a faint creaking of a door and muffled whispers.

“T-that’s enough already! She’ll get mad at us for sure if she sees us!” Himmel whisper-yelled to his brother, his face painted with a tint of red as he pushed Venti to move.

“I was just making sure she’s fine! She wasn’t answering our calls, that's why we have to rush here to check up on her.” The other retorted back with a visage similar to the older twin. Both of them never expected to see you touching yourself, your slim body erotically exposed for their eyes and mind to drink in. It was clear as a day from all the things you’ve done to yourself as you panted and moaned their respective names.

They turned their head when the door to your room slammed open and both eyes went wide to see you standing there naked. No blanket nor clothes to cover your body.

Himmel was the first one to speak, ready to apologize and explain everything.

“[N-Name], it’s not what it looks like! We were about to— hmph?!”

Himmel felt his heart loudly pounding against his chest. The sudden sensation of your lips locked against his surely shocked him. You moved your lips in unfamiliar patterns he tried to mimic with his own. You felt the electricity pulsing through your veins. The kiss engulfed you both and you tightly clutched onto his shirt. As you leaned forward, you heard a small gasp from him as you slipped your tongue in his mouth to intertwine with his.

A surprising kiss from you, nonetheless he welcomed it. His shoulders relaxed and he reluctantly rested his hand on your back and the other to cup your cheek to pull you close to him. His thumb ran along the curve of your cheekbone and you nestled into his hand, feeling his warmth seep into yours. Your soft, round breasts were pressing against his lean body and he got himself lost to the feeling of your soft lips.

Breaking the kiss, a string of saliva was connected to yours and his lips and both of you panted heavily. You didn’t spare another glance to the older twin as you quickly stride to where Venti was standing and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You tiptoed to reach his height to give him a passionate and sweet kiss.

Venti didn’t hesitate to return it. He brought his hands to the back of your neck while the other settled on your hips. You moved closer to him, feeling his warmth into yours.

Lips leaving yours, his breath was hot as his kisses trailed down your neck. His hands held your back, sucking your skin to create a mark, and you arched, begging for more.

“Mine,” he growled.

You dragged your nails down his back and tightly gripped on his clothing as you tilt your head to the side for him to gain more access and moan his name. Himmel, who was still half-fazed by your kiss, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before he walks behind you and copies what his brother is doing.

“I believe she’s ours, Venti.” The frail man corrected before gently grabbing your chin to face him and continue the kiss you’ve initiated on him. After a short session of marking and kissing you, they stopped and looked at you with a loving and longing gaze.

“Archons, we miss you so much, [Name]. You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting to hold you like this.” Venti nuzzled his face to your hair before giving a short yet sweet kiss on your temple.

“So am I. All these tests and research have been hindering us to meet you. I’m glad we’re finally done with them. It’s an absolute torture not being able to spend time together with you.” Sighed Himmel as he lovingly strokes your sides and gives a kiss to your cheek.

You giggled at the ticklish sensation of their lips, cuddling closer to them before leaving your own loving affection to them.

“I missed you both so much,” You closed your eyes and rested your head against Venti’s chest to listen to the calming and rhythmic beat of his heart.

You felt a finger running along your thighs so sensually and you squeaked when a hand was stroking your pussy. You forgot you were completely naked in front of them. You gulped down your dry saliva, both in excitement and nervousness, and turned your head away from them, multiple fingers continuing to play and brush along your inner thighs and curves of your breasts. The slick on your legs messed with their digits but they paid no mind to it as their focus is completely fixed on you, too captivated and aroused by the sight of your nude form.

“So wet. Seems like we have to take care of our princess, brother.”

“You don’t have to say it out loud. You’re making her embarrassed.” The older twin scolded before turning to you and giving a sweet smile before he leaned down to whisper in your ears. His hot breath brings a rush of excitement and arousal through your nerves, you practically want them to fill your holes so madly, coat your body with their cum, and eat you out as they bury their head deeply between your legs.

“Just relax for us and we’ll handle this, okay?”

#anon ask #ellianswers #elliwrites #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #himmel x reader #venti x reader #venti brainrot

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concealeddarkness13 · 4 years ago

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WHG 15 Post-Games Imposter Syndrome Part 15

Warning: there is blood in this one. The day after part 14! Tagging: @sparkles-and-hens, @knmartinshouldbewriting, @maple-writes (also thanks for Indigo Carmine!), @pen-of-roses, @thoughts-of-nora, and @ratracechronicler!

The day after Churi one-upped me, he made me go back to that same building. And the same old torture for a few hours until he just up and left, and they made me wait. For a few more hours. Did they think that would work? I actually liked being alone better than being with Capitol idiots.

My hands were still tied up, so I just leaned against the wall until the door opened, and none other than Indigo Carmine herself walked through the door, carrying a purse-sized bag. Oh joy.

I smirked over at her and stood up straight. “Ah, the infamous Indigo Carmine. It’s an honor to finally meet you. I would shake your hand, but I don’t want to get your hands dirty.” I waved my bloody, tied up hands.

She set her bag down by the wall and looked me up and down as she approached. I had to stop myself from tensing. “Churi really did a number on you didn’t he?”

I shrugged. Piece of shit. “Honestly, his attempts are pitiful.”

“Clearly.” She rolled her eyes. “Pitiful is putting it lightly. Can’t say I’ve known him long but he doesn’t seem to succeed very often now, does he?”

“Nah. I think I got to him this last session.” I leaned back against the wall. “That’s why you’re here, right?” I eyed the bag. It looked normal enough, but that didn’t mean anything. “What horrible abomination are you going to pull out of that bag to get me to cry and plead for mercy?”

A smile pulled at her lips. “You’re right about him needing backup, regardless of how willing he is to admit it.” She paused. “How long have you been here again?”

Did she really think I would answer that? I wouldn’t answer any of her fucking questions. I laughed lightly. “How long have any of us been here? Don’t be getting philosophical on me, or I’ll be calling you a psychologist next.”

“Long enough then.” I had to stop myself from laughing. Shit. She sighed. “Next question: have they fed you recently?”

Oh, now she was pretending she cared. How cute. I cocked my head. “The question is, have you eaten recently? You look worn down, Ms. Carmine. Are you doing okay? I know it must be hard to lose a former colleague to the Games.”

“You’re one to talk.” She gestured at me. Rude. “I’ll just have to check with Churi’s records, see if I can send you something.” Like I would do anything with a gift from her except burn it. “Has anyone explained what they want from you?”

Still wouldn’t answer. I was too stubborn. I shrugged. “I think you would know better than I would.”

She nodded. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” She smiled. “According to Churi the goal here is to break you. The way I see it, he’s doing a horrible job.”

And she thought she could? Well, she was more competent than Churi. It was a possibility. And she did her research too, from what I heard. This would be a challenge. But I wouldn’t let her see that. I looked her up and down. “And you are here to rectify that mistake, correct?”

She nodded. “That I am.” She walked back over to her bag and took out a file, which she opened and took out two pictures and held them out to me. I took one look and looked away quickly. Nesri and Shine. Of course. Shit. Churi had already talked about my crew, but this would be different. She had no qualms about killing those who got in her way. She spoke after giving me plenty of time to mull over the implications. “I’m guessing you know these two?”

I forced my smile to stay in place. “What if I do?” Shit.

She nodded. “You might have figured out already that they were, indeed, captured. Upon capture they were handed over to Churi.” She kept trying to make eye contact with me, and I kept looking away. Bastard woman. “I’m guessing you know what that means?”

I swallowed hard. “That they were handed over to an incompetent torturer?”

“If that’s what you truly believe.” She sighed dismissively. “Now, what I’m going to tell you I haven’t actually checked if I’m allowed to divulge but between you and me, they did manage to escape. Alive.”

Piece of shit. She was lying. My smile finally dropped. “And why would I believe you? If it was true, what would you have to gain from telling me that?”

“Good question.” That she didn’t answer. Which meant I really didn’t believe her. She glanced at the photos in her hand. “You need to understand that all they went through, that was with Churi. And I think you and I both know how he is, petty and egotistical. Does that sound right?”

I forced the smile back on my lips, and I cocked my head. “You’re both pretty similar in that regard, I would say.”

“Maybe. But there is one key difference.” What, that you like coffee and he likes tea? She looked up from the photos. “If I had been contracted instead of him they would be dead.” She held up Nesri’s photo between two fingers, and I glanced at it again before looking away. “I’ve heard she’s a lot like you. Defiant, stubborn, the lot. While Churi would waste his time on a losing battle I do not.” My hands clenched into fists involuntarily.

She held up Shine’s picture next. “This one seems smarter. If they decide to be agreeable I’m sure I could find someone who could use them. Maybe.” She set the photo down. “And I can tell you that if I were Churi I would not be wasting my time with you either.”

I concealed my anger and bowed a little. “I’m honored.”

She put the photos back up. “Now, personally I don’t care what happens to them. I’m not about to go chase them if I don’t have to.” She tucked the folder under her arm. “But since Churi has been unable to produce results from you there is a good chance Snow will soon turn to me if things don’t start improving.”

I nodded, clenching my fists tighter. Now that, I believed. And I wasn’t just going to let her get away with that, even if my own threat would pale in comparison. “Not to call you out on some of your BS, but Churi would never let you kill Nesri, and I think he has more clout with President Fucking Snow than you do.” I paused, glaring at her as my blood boiled. “And if you or your workers or your mutts lay a fucking hand on the rest of my crew, I will kill every last one of you.” Shit, it sounded so stupid, but I wasn’t going to just let her think that I wouldn’t fight back.

She cocked her head. “Are you sure about that? I know you did your homework Triel.” She turned and picked up her bag from the floor, slinging it over her shoulder. “I just thought I’d give you a fair warning. And I’ll have you know I don’t take orders from Churi.”

Blood was pooled on the floor, and it would be nice to surprise her at least. I activated my magic, formed some of the blood into a sharp point, and sent it to push against her neck enough to draw a little blood. “And all of you should have done your homework. Don’t leave me in a room with any kind of liquid.”

Indigo turned back to me with her eyebrows raised, and I felt a rush of satisfaction at the surprise in her eyes that she couldn’t cover up fast enough. “Do you really think you’re the first person to threaten me like that? Try harder next time.”

I wouldn’t be able to kill her without repercussions to my crew and the other tributes, so I just deactivated my magic and let the crystal fall to the floor at her feet. I flashed her double middle fingers and smirked, even though it might have been more of a snarl, honestly. “Joke’s on you, I didn’t even think that would work.”

“Lucky you.” She picked up the crystal, checked it out, and put it in her bag. Of course she’d do that, the bastard scientist. “Anything else you want me to know before I leave?”

I was feeling petty and childish right now. “Fuck you.”

Indigo nodded and turned to leave. “Noted.”

After the door closed behind her and I waited a few minutes, I yelled out my pent-up anger as a few tears fell. She would kill my crew if I didn’t cooperate, so how could I fight against that?

#tw: blood #writeblr hunger games #writeblr

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mochikeiji · 5 years ago

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Rest Your Heart

↠ Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

↠ Warning: TimeSkip AU! Over thinking, anxiety, angst to fluff

↬ Word Count: 2,052

Summary: Everyone has that one person who will always look after them and their well being. Bokuto has had enough of Akaashi torturing himself from all the papers and projects given to him. He didn't like knowing the fact that he was always drowning into an ocean of hardship and darkness, so he steps up his game into letting Akaashi take a break.

⇢ Day 5: Touch (cuddling, hand holding, huddling for warmth), Bed-sharing! @bokuakaweek2020

✎﹏

Working is tiring for everyone. It's even more exhausting to use your brain into thinking with good ideas. What's worse is that sometimes, people tend to force to milk out every bit of their brain juice in order to master and reach their own satisfaction in their work.

Akaashi was not a stranger to that description.

When you work as an editorist, like he is, it's automatically embedded in you that what you must submit it worthy to be read. Like a every writer, the common thing they had was content. Will it be good? Will it be read? Thousands, even millions of thoughts would swarm a single person for that matter. There mustn't be one speck of mistake in your work. Everything must be already there, written, revised and correctly formulated.

Dealing with this especially when you were assigned to take care of a big project from your seniors was a huge amount of pressure for Akaashi. He couldn't say he hated his job nor loved it. But he can tell that he wasn't happy knowing he wasn't taking care of his health anymore.

"Akaashi~ you're taking too long."

Luckily Bokuto was there.

"10 more minutes, Bokuto. I'll be done." he replies without taking his eyes nor hands off of his laptop. Still hunched over his desk, eyes squinting on each word he's typed in so far checking to see if there were grammatical errors or spelling errors that needed to be changed.

"You've said the same thing 6 times way back now, look," raising his foot, Bokuto points it out on their wall clock above his desk, "It's already 7:30 pm. You haven't even touched your onigiri!" Akaashi takes a small glance to his left side. The onigiri's were left cold and untouched for the past hour since Bokuto had bought home, "Seriously, you need to stop over working your self. One of these days you're bound to collapse.." He mutters the last past, not wanting to imagine his beloved Akaashi fall without him around to pick him up.

He hears a frustrated sigh coming from him. When your partner is stressed and you were just trying to help, it usually ends with the stressed one blowing up on the other one. Atleast, that's how other couples work.

"I'm sorry." not for both of them though, neither one would dare to hurt the other one. For one reason, Akaashi was just not the type of person you'd want to yell at, look at him, he's just a quiet, little man trying to pass by. Next is Bokuto, you can never yell at someone who looks like a child filled with innocence, and besides, he was right at this point for scolding him.

"The deadline is in 2 days time..I'm just terrified that if I don't submit something properly written, they'd stop giving me these opportunities." looking over his right side where a stack of papers were unorganized.

"So? Atleast you won't have to over work yourself. It doesn't matter anymore if you can't be happy and healthy." sitting up with crossed legs on the bed, Bokuto observes Akaashi from there, ready to attend to any needs and necessity.

"I'll be marked with a lower rank and get paid little..."

Bokuto knew how much Akaashi wanted to help him pay for their rent and other taxes ever since they've agreed to live with each other. Even though Bokuto had a lot of money in his pocket to aid them both, Akaashi simply doesn't want to be dependent on his lover and let him do all the hard work.

That's why he loved Akaashi so much. Even up until now he was still giving his all to him like in highschool.

His 120 percent in things.

Akaashi leans back on his chair, closing his eyes for a brief moment to gather all his thoughts to think properly. That gave Bokuto a chance to get up from their shared bed quietly as he walks up to him from behind. He wraps his strong arms around his neck from behind, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as he strokes away the frustrated tears now streaming on his cheeks.

"If it ever went down to that, I'll talk to your boss," moving his hand on both of his shoulder blades, he held the male down by pressing on the tight knots that had formed way back, "No objections, Keiji. You've been working hard, if they treat you like shit I'm complaining. There's no fairness." it was endearing to hear that coming from him. He had grown up to be a mature man than he was before. If Akaashi wasn't so frustrated he would've been crying from so much love coming from Bokuto.

He raises both of his hands, cupping Bokuto's smaller ones on his chest, "You're too nice to me." smiling sadly as he let's all pent frustration out with his tears, "I can never know what'll be enough for me to give you."

That was another thing that Bokuto was saddened about. The fact that Akaashi was an over thinker he'd often degrade himself to the lowest of all. To Akaashi himself, he was nothing more than a bother. A hindrance. But to Bokuto, how he wishes he could tell him he was more than enough and that he has given him too much even before.

"You're already good enough," tapping his chin with his fingers, he pushes his head a little, making his eyes flutter open, "I mean it, Keiji."

There was a short pause of silence. Neither one daring to move as they clung onto each other's love language and affection. Pretty soon, Bokuto found this opportunity as a good sign to lead him back to bed for a break. Removing his arms away from the seated male, much to his dismay, he grabs on the plate of onigiri's and walks to their shared bed, placing it on top.

"Come on, I'll eat with you."

Akaashi watches as Bokuto sits back down on their bed with his legs wide enough. Enough for him to fit and sit in between them, and pats the free space.

"But I have to fini—"

"Your dinner, yes, you're gonna finish your dinner. Now sit here!"

He can never say no when it comes to Bokuto whining. With a sigh, using his sleeves, he wipes away all the excess tears. Not bothering to take his glasses off, and stand up from his chair.

"I'm going to get im trouble after this." nesting himself in between Bokuto's legs and leaning his back on his chest. Bokuto hands him an onigiri along with his and watches Akaashi take his first, but small bite. He didn't have the mood to eat from his constant thinking which makes the owl haired male frown deeply.

"No, you're not. Have a little faith. I know you," taking a huge chunk of the onigiri in his mouth, "You always manage to make things work, that's what I love about you." Akaashi didn't like messy people, but he couldn't make any comment on how silly Bokuto looks and sounds with his mouth stuffed.

"Please don't chew your food while talking, Bokuto."

"And please don't be sad in front of the onigiri's, Kei. They have feelings too."

Hearty laughter filled the room coming from Akaashi. Bokuto savored every moment of it. His happiness was his happiness as well.

Watching Akaashi finally take bigger bites and chowing down like a starved man, hr let's him have all the onigiri's to himself, using an excuse that he was already full. He can see the way his eyes sparkled shyly as he took all the rice filled meals into his stomach.

"Hmm, you're getting kinda chubby there, Keiji," pushing his pointer finger on his cheek, he watches it squish adorably from his touch, "Not that I'm complaining. You look hot and cute." grinning when he saw his lips pout a little with his cheeks growing red, he couldn't help but pinch them.

"Bokuto please, I'm trying tk eat."

"I wasn't suggesting anything!"

Disposing the plate to their night stand, Akaashi wipes the side of his mouth with his sleeve, Bokuto hugging his stomach with his hands rubbing them.

"You're so soft, Keiji." he hums, squishing the baby fat from the smaller male.

"I need to get to work." he was feeling embarrassed. Had he really gained weight that much? Akaashi was taking a note in his mind that he was going to join Bokuto in jogging next time.

"But its late. And you need to rest." nuzzling his head on his shoulder. He really didn't want to see another one of those nights Akaashi would be sitting, hunched on his desk until sunrise.

Stroking his stomach to his chest, Bokuto whines a little when Akaashi tries half heatedly to break from his hold, "And I wanna cuddle you to sleep. It gets lonely when you always leave and work yourself to the bone."

There were times Akaashi would slip from his hold around 3 am to get back to work. During those times Bokuto would pretend to be asleep and wait for his return. And he got pretty upset he's reached until the birds started chirping. The bed was cold without him.

Akaashi feels the guilt rising from him as he remembers all those times he's left the older male. Thinking of what was more important, he forces the arms around his stomach down and turns his body to face him. Bokuto already had a sad expression on his face knowing he was still going to over work himself. It was already part kf his nature.

Until Akaashi wraps his arms around his neck and pushes him down to bed with him placed on top of Bokuto.

"I thought you were going back to work?" nonetheless, Bokuto wraps his arms tighter around Akaashi. He flinches when he feels him started to shake and his neck getting wet.

He was crying again.

Petting his head, Bokuto reaches out for his glasses, removing them and placing it gently on their night stand near the plate. He pushes his head deeper on his neck side, allowing him to cry as he whispers sweet words next to his ear.

"I promise, Keiji. You're already fine as you are. Please, let me take care of you."

He hears a choked sob escape from his lips, "You don't have to keep doing this if it doesn't make you happy. If you're doing this for me then I'm not hapoy if you're not." sniffling from his words, Akaashi listens to him, finding his body warm and home like feeling. His words soothing like a sweet lullaby.

"I don't care about anything, Keiji. I'm hapoy because I have you. But I'm more happier to see you happy and well."

Turning his head, golden eyes meeting teary gun metal ones, Bokuto swipes away the tears again with his thumb and places a small smooch on the tip of his nose.

"You're already enough for me and others. So please," pressing his forehead against his, they both closed their eyes, feeling their breaths close and their bodies warm with fluttering feelings, "Take a break for me."

Akaashi knows to himself sooner or later he'll crumble again like today. He knows to himself that he couldn't help but let his thoughts overcome his sight on things. But that didn't matter right now.

He was in his arms, and that's all he could think of with his presence.

"I love you so much." whimpering softly as he buries his face against his neck again. He felt so safe and secure woth Bokuto around. Loved. That everything around him got a little better. Brighter. It made him nuzzle even more into him and his small arms squeezing him.

Bokuto counters back the same squeeze of affection and kisses the side of his ear. His breathing soon slowing down and into a calm one before he hears soft snores from Akaashi.

"I love you too, Keiji. Sleep tight."

That day Bokuto doesn't sleep until 3 am. He has spent his night watching over him. Occasionally stroking his hair or back whenever he moves from his position.

He wasn't going to let anything ruin Akaashi and his peace for the day.

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breakyourhaloandley · 6 years ago

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03: And We Can’t Breathe When We’re Not Together

The past two shows are a blur to me. I vaguely remember lots of screaming kids, more than I’d ever seen on tour before. I remember signings and meet and greets that felt like my own special blend of torture. I remember shaking, being almost on the verge of a breakdown as the curtain dropped each night. I remember the solitude of my bunk, everyone else enjoying the first nights on tour.

I am falling apart at the seams and if anyone notices, they don’t care. The fans are too absorbed with their constructed idealized version of me to notice and my bandmates are too busy living their dream to realize that I’ve become stuck in a nightmare. Matt has been keeping his distance, probably thinking I just need ‘time to myself’ when that’s the last goddamn thing I need.

I’ve experienced stage fright before, back when I was new to performing, but nothing like this. This is pure terror at the thought of dragging my body into the lights to let the world take it’s best shot at me.

The meet and greet before the show took everything out of me. It felt like every kid that came through was telling me how I’d saved them or how they admire my strength and so on. I faked a smile and thanked them for listening to us, told them to keep being strong and ‘never give in’. The hypocrisy in my words hit me hard, I’m lying to everyone. They all think I’m some fucking savior instead of a fucked up kid trying to keep it together.

I lie to them every night I go out on stage and pretend to be this character that I’m not. They look up to a false idol, a mask. I wonder what they would think if they knew the truth, would they give up as well?

John pounds on the door to the bathroom stall. “Andy for fuck’s sake get your ass out here. Curtain time is in five fucking minutes.”

I grab at my chest, coughing as I try to breathe. Tears run down my face, threatening to smear my war paint. I can’t do it... I’m frozen, unable to move even if I wanted to. The past two nights I’ve barely made it on stage, somehow mustering the courage just in time. Not tonight, tonight is a fucking break down.

“Andy!” he yells at me again. “I will break this fucking door down and drag you out there.”

“I’m not going out there.” I manage to choke out. I don’t care if my career goes down in flames I have been trying so hard to pretend that I am okay but I’m at my breaking point.

“Fucking hell” I can hear the rage in his voice, I don’t blame him. He didn’t sign up to deal with this. I heard the main door to the bathroom slam as he leaves, probably to go beg the venue stall.

The panic only spirals as I realize that I’m destroying my career. My inability to get my shit together is going to be the reason I fail. Everyone back home told me I wasn’t going to make it, my whole life people have told me that and here I am proving them all right. I lean back against the wall of the stall, trying to calm myself but it doesn’t work.

“Andy open the door.” the voice on the other side is calm, not angry like John. There’s a hint of annoyance in it, but not anger. Ashley.

I reach over, unlocking the door. Ashley presses something against my hand, the coolness of the glass feels good against my flushed skin. “Drink it.” he states.

“But-” “Now.” I down the glass of whiskey, the burning in my throat calming my nerves from the relief I know it’ll bring. Not even seventy-two hours.

“Ash I-” “Shh, stop,” he whispers, pulling me in tight, wrapping his arms around my shaking frame.

I melt into him, holding onto him like my life depends on it. At this moment, it feels like it does. He traces calming circles on the small of my back. “You have to go out there, Andy,” he says.

I don’t want to let go. I want to stay here with him just like this. He strokes my hair and it threatens to break me. There is so much pent up inside me, so much hurt and sadness. He lets go, the warmth leaving my body. He tugs my hand, pulling me out into the hallway where I can hear the cheers of the fans.

I don’t look at any of my bandmates or John who are lined up, ready to go on. I can’t face them. If I go down so do they, and I think they know that. I can feel their resentment.

I lift the bottle of whiskey up to my lips, taking a long drink. If I already broke, then why stop at one drink? I want to turn tonight into a blackout and I plan on doing just that. I had come very close to throwing it all away tonight. I don’t care though, I know I should but I don’t.

None of the guys talked to me after the show, not that I wanted them to. I quickly packed up my things and headed to the bus the second the lights on stage went out. They’re all asleep now as I kill this bottle of Seagram’s by myself. I watch as the highway races by outside the window. I wonder if anyone would stop me if I just opened the door and jumped out, would the impact kill me?

“Hey...” “If you’re here to lecture me about please don’t.” I plead.

Ashley is leaning against the threshold to the front of the bus. He’s washed all his makeup off, standing there in a pair of black sweat pants, his toned chest bare. He has his arms crossed and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I’m too drunk to try and explain myself, not that I really could. What would I say? You don’t love me and having to see you every day is actually killing me?

“I’m not going to lecture you, you wouldn’t remember it tomorrow anyways.” he sighs, walking over to me and grabbing the bottle from my hand before I can take another drink.

I grab for it, not wanting to give up my liquid comfort. “No, you’ve had enough.”

He places the bottle on the counter before sitting down beside me. “You need to shower all that paint off and go to bed.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore Ash. I can’t.” “You don’t want to do what Andy?” he asks, concern in his voice.

“This. Be on tour, sing... lie to people that I’m something I’m not and never going to be.” I curse myself for letting more tears fall, he must think I’m the weakest person in the world.

“You really want to quit? Give up everything you’ve worked for, let this band fail all because you’re going through a tough time?” “It’s not just a tough time Ash... I can’t handle this.” I cry, so close to giving up.

He grabs my face, turning it towards him. I look into his eyes, wishing that I knew the secret to his courage, his ability to keep himself together no matter what. “Andy I know that’s not what you want.”

“Ash I need you. You were the only reason I was able to make it this far.” “Shh... go take a shower and clean off, then you can come sleep in the back with me okay?”

I nod, standing up, unsteady on my feet. Ashley ends up having to help guide me to the small bathroom on the bus. My head spins from all the alcohol and I lean on him for support. He starts the shower, handing me a towel before shutting the door and leaving me by myself.

The water turns black as I wash away all the makeup and sweat from the show. I almost blackout a few times from the combination of heat and being drunk. Somehow I manage to finish cleaning off and get dressed without falling over. I look at myself in the mirror, the person looking back at me is frail, pale and broken.

The alcohol has calmed the ache in my soul but it has just left me with the void. The nothingness that is my existence, the numb feeling of being empty. I mourn the boy that I used to be, full of life and hope for the future. I don’t think I’ll ever get that boy back.

I walk out of the bathroom, holding onto the sides of the bus to steady myself. The wooden door in the back is cracked open and I hesitate for a second outside. I can see Ashley through the crack. He’s sitting on the bed, reading some book. I bite my lip, remembering all the nights we spent together.

He and I always were paired on hotel nights and often times I would end up falling asleep next to him as he read, my head on his lap as he played with my hair. We were so close... did he really blame me for thinking we could be more, for wanting more? It’s not normal to fall asleep in the arms of your ‘straight’ friend, but I did.

Even when things got back with my drinking, he wouldn’t get angry with me. He would practically carry me into bed, he would stay up with me, holding my hair back when I got sick from drinking too much or when I was hungover. A wave of sadness goes over me, did I waste the time I had with him like that being drunk? How many precious moments are lost to the void?

“You can come in,” he said, not even looking up from what he’s reading.

I open the door, walking in and shutting it behind me. I stumbled over to the bed, all but collapsing onto it. Ashley sets the book down and pulls me over to him. I rest my head on his bare chest and I can hear the steady beat of his heart.

His hand feels cool on my cheek as he brushes my hair back out of my face. There is a calmness that overcomes me and I’m not sure if it’s just the alcohol or his touch. I try and fight to keep my eyes open, praying that I’ll remember this tomorrow.

He pulls the covers over us, turning the lights out leaving only the occasional passing headlights to illuminate the small room. I feel safe in his arms, I feel grounded and at home.

“I don’t want to have to watch you destroy yourself, Andy,” he whispers.

“I-I don’t know how to stop.” My words slur together.

“Just sleep tonight, okay?” he whispers. I try to hold onto this moment, but the alcohol in my system wins as I slip into a dreamless sleep.

---

I wake up to a pounding headache and a nauseous feeling in my stomach. I remember bits and pieces of the previous night, but for the most part it’s all a blur. I sit up, rubbing my eyes and wincing at the light streaming in through the windows. I’m not in my bunk, I’m in the private room, Ashley’s room. I look around as my eyes adjust to the light, I’m alone. There’s a bottle of Advil on the bedside table next to me with a bottle of water. According to my phone, it is almost noon, I can hear chatter from the front of the bus and it only makes my headache worse.

I want nothing more than to just fall back into the bed and pass out for another couple of hours before John drags me into whatever venue in whatever city we’re playing tonight. My stomach, on the other hand, has other plans, the sick feeling intensifies and I know the feeling all too well. I’m gonna fucking puke. I almost blackout as I stand up, my head spinning as I make my way up to the front.

The guys all stop talking when they see me, I’m sure I look every bit as dead as I feel right now. Ashley is sitting at the table, scrolling through his phone. He stops, his honey-brown eyes darting up at me. He probably thinks I don’t remember being in his arms last night, but I do. I wish he was right...

My stomach lurches forward as the bus hits a pothole. I groan, holding onto a seat to balance myself. “John... fuck pull over.”

“We’ll be stopping for lunch in thirty minutes,” he replied, his eyes not leaving the road.

“I’m gonna throw up, pull over,” I warn him. He mumbles something under his breath but pulls over on an exit ramp, several cars honking as they whiz past the bus.

I barely make it out the door before throwing up the little in my stomach on the side of the road, my throat burns, already damaged from the copious amounts of whiskey I drank last night. I feel dizzy as another wave of nausea comes over me, fuck why did I have to drink last night... It’s all Ashley’s fault, he forced that first drink on me.

I close my eyes, trying to make the feeling pass. Tattooed fingers lace through my hair, pulling it back, a hand on my back steadies me. “Just get it over with, you’ll feel better.” Ashley sighs.

“W-What are you doing?” “I mean, I was the one who forced you to break your no drinking rule last night...” “Its’ not your fault.” I mean it is, but it was between breaking my promise (again) or ending my career.

I straighten up, my stomach finally settling back down. Ashley hands me a piece of gum, helping me back on the bus. John is glaring at me and the rest of the guys just look at me with blank expressions. They can all keep their judgments to themselves.

I make my way into the bathroom as John starts the engine back up, pulling back onto the road. I brush the taste of acid out of my mouth before popping the piece of gum. When I see my reflection, I understand why everyone was staring. I look like I’ve been drug through hell, my hair is a mess, my face is ghost white and my eyes look sunken in. Oh, the joys of a hangover...

“Here, take this for your head.” Ashley’s soothing voice says, pushing the bottle of water and a couple of pills into my hand. I take them, looking over at him as he stands in the doorway. “Thanks..”

Is he really doing all of this because he feels guilty for giving me a drink last night? Or is there something more to it, does he actually care about me? Does he miss the way we were? I shiver, the chills setting in, I need a fucking drink.

“Take a shower, then when we get to the restaurant you can get something to eat. You’ll feel better then.”

“I’d rather just have a fucking drink.” “Andy...” I can hear the disappointment in his voice and it feels like daggers in my chest.

He sighs, shaking his head before turning around and leaving me by myself. The door to the bathroom shuts and I let out a shaky breath. I’m too numb to cry.

#andley #black veil brides #andy biersack #ashley purdy #andy six #andy black #fan fiction #slash fiction #gay romance #03

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ninaahelvar · 6 years ago

Text

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (15/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: HI ALL! So, the angst....it's been hard.....so.....sorry??? but keep reading, i swear it's worth it. CFOIS HAS A PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY! Feel free to leave a comment with a song you feel fits, and songs should be added each week to go with the fic.

The date went better than expected, as Gendry was sent back to the palace when Sansa got back, so the switch between Sandor and Gendry was made. At the palace, Gendry walked in with unsteady knees until he saw the princess on the stairs, sitting on her phone with a smile pinned to her lips. As she saw him, she perked, and Gendry shook his head, and Sansa came down the stairs quickly.

“It’s done.”

“What?” Sansa asked, her face dropping.

It felt like he was breathing in glass, his throat feeling ragged from the moments alone and the smoke that stained the taste of his mouth. “I can’t...I won’t ever get her back,” he admitted, holding back a strangled sob. He rested his hand over his eyes, shutting his jaw as tight as possible to keep himself together. His shoulders hunched as his body felt like he was crumbling down.

“Gendry,” Sansa said, voice so quiet, it made him want to finally get on his knees.

“I lost her and I screwed up, and I’m never going to get her back,” he said, voice breaking, unable to stay calm or restrained.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay,” Sansa said, her arms going over the top of his shoulders, making him curl his arms around her back, face going to her shoulder for comfort. He had never felt so broken down before. Arya hadn’t moved on, but she could - she had the ability to, and Gendry knew he couldn’t. He’d always want to be with her. “We’ll figure it out,” Sansa whispered, stroking over his head.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore, I can’t take this every day,” he replied, pulling away from her, swallowing back the sobs that threatened at the back of his throat.

“Gendry, what you’re saying sounds like -”

“I gotta quit.”

Sansa’s eyes went wide and she shook her head wildly, confusion now written into her. “No! No you can’t do that, you know Arya isn’t going to feel safe without you,” Sansa said.

“You’ll find someone else! I’m just one guy that fucked around and fell in love. I can’t be in love with a princess my entire life, following her like a lost puppy,” Gendry pulled away, feeling wetness on his cheeks. He had began crying and didn’t even realise it. Wiping his face clear, he looked back at Sansa, shaking his head with his eyes straining to stay open - he feared if he closed his eyes for even a moment, he wouldn’t stop breaking down, that it would be all he ever did. “I can’t take being in love with someone who is going to fall in love with someone else every day,” he confessed.

“Gendry, just think about this,” Sansa tried to persuade him, “go home,” she whispered, moving past him, and as Gendry looked over his shoulder, he saw Arya. With that, he made his way out of the palace entrance, hearing the two sisters talk.

“What was all that about?” Arya asked first.

“It’s nothing,” Sansa replied.

“He looked like he -”

“Come on, tell me about your date!” Sansa beamed, and the sounds of footsteps echoed up the stairs.

Gendry knew he should have done more - that he shouldn’t have pities himself as much as he did, that licking his own wounds wouldn’t do much more than drive her away. Arya had the possibility now - she had been given the opportunity to feel more. Gendry knew he should have done more - but he was so confused, how was he meant to win another person’s trust back? What opportunity was he allowed to take that on? He could have pushed the matter, to make himself out to be the hero she needed.

But Arya needed someone that wasn’t going to doubt - to question who they were. She needed security, all he could provide her was the physical kind. Every time he thought of what he could offer her, he hated that he felt as though he weren’t enough, that he needed to be more than who he was.

His head was clouded by self doubt, and with it came a destructive attitude, he supposed. Gendry had no idea how gaining a person’s trust back could work - and even though most of the time he saw Arya, he wanted to argue about it, it would just push her away. It was the last thing he wanted. It was just time - it was ease the pain of their break up, but it didn’t forgive until pain had taken its course.

At home, Gendry made his mind up. One day, if things felt right, he’d talk to Arya, he’d work it out - if his heart didn’t waver, that was. In the meantime, he’d wait it out, stay with the family that gave him a second chance at being a good man. He wondered if the pain of a forced heartbreak would always last - he guessed it would, even in the smallest of ways.

Waking up the next morning, Gendry went straight into Brienne’s office. It took a while to see her, but eventually he stood opposite her, hands behind his back. He appeared to be put together, to be better than he felt.

“Gendry, what can I do for you?” she asked, taking a seat and sifting through a wide assortment of documents strewn on her desk.

“Move my detail or I’m resigning,” he said bluntly. Brienne stopped midway through turning a page. She looked up at him as though he had spat directly in her face.

“What?”

“Brienne,” he said, watching as she rose out of her chair again, “you know I shouldn’t be there. Take me off. Otherwise, I have to give my two weeks,” he said, shutting his mouth, but he knew the words that came out were forced. Hell, it’d be idiotic to think they weren’t forced.

“Gendry, this isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight,” she replied, combing her hand through her hair. Gendry bound his hand over his enclosed fist, trying his hardest not to shout.

“Then tell me your decision when it comes,” he said, clearing his throat and raising his chin. He found moving in his spot, even if it was just his head and neck eased the discomfort of his body. Everything felt like it was crashing down around him, but he could at least control if he was allowed to move.

“Gendry,” she tried.

“I can’t do it anymore,” he let out in a harsher voice, closing his eyes as he realised his mistake.

Brienne sighed, sitting down in a heavy movement, falling directly into her chair and reclining back. She looked back at him and shook her head. “I’ll talk with the queen.”

“Thank you,” he nodded back, and she opened her mouth to say something, then it snapped shut. Brienne wasn’t one to give advice, mostly because she hated emotions as much as she hated the Lannisters. He understood that.

Upon leaving, he was ambushed by the daily minotinity of the royal household - people running around getting the family ready for whatever meeting they had set up that day and what they needed in order to get them as fresh as daisies. To his surprise, a waltzing princess came from the kitchen, apple between her teeth. He cursed his luck - just got better and better. Gendry turned on his heels, moving to a corridor to make it upstairs where she needed to go in order to meet with the queen on political matters. If he could just go unnoticed...

“Hey!” Arya called, and Gendry swore under his breath, continuing to walk.

“What’s up?” he called out behind him, hearing the footsteps race up. Gendry took a breath in as he felt Arya tug on the back of his arm, the two walking beside each other in the enclosing corridor. They were getting too close, and by everything within him, he had to fight the urge to confront her. He wanted to tell her what was going on, but it was hard sometimes.

“I want to know what you’re going to do, about getting me back,” she asked, and maybe it was because he hadn’t prepared himself to see her, but the question irritated him - rubbed at a sore spot that he had been trying to cover up since she’d yelled at him.

Stopping and turning to Arya, their bodies barely a foot apart from the old hallway. “Can I ask why do you make it sound like you’re a prize to be won?” he asked her, voice low and almost spiteful. He didn’t mean it to come out so harsh, but he had been so pent up; self doubt, self hatred, and wounds that festered at his heart - he was bound to lash out.

“What?” she asked, staring back at him indignantly.

“Like I need to prove myself in order to obtain you like you’re something to win at the end of a game. This isn’t a game, Arya. I want you. I want you back. Yeah, I fucked up, but I can’t take back what’s happened. How am I meant to prove that I’m worth trusting if it’s the hardest thing in the world to do?” he asked in a husking whisper. “I’ve been in agony because of what I did, and seeing you every day is torture because of it. I won’t blame you for it, but I’m not to blame either. I did what I felt was right,” he raised his voice, determined for his voice to finally be heard. He didn’t want to keep everything in anymore. Yet, in spite of his need of expression, it pained him more to do so.

“Stop yelling at me,” she snapped, her back hitting the wall in a huff, arms crossed over her chest. Gendry groaned, raking his hands over his face before he spoke again.

“I’m not yelling at you, Arya. I’m just trying to ask what the hell do you expect me to do? Tell me, because I’m not a mind reader and I’m sick of playing teenage fucking love affair,” he said, realising the attitude he’d held over the last few weeks were pathetic, and every single time he thought he could do anything, he acted like a child - a teenager - not able to talk about anything because it would make things easier. Gendry just wanted his love to be easy - as it once was.

“I-I don’t know. Something! I want you to stop standing on the sidelines!” Arya yelled, voice echoing down the corridor. Gendry scoffed.

“Am I meant to interrupt a date? Take a stand and say ‘Princess Arya is mine, hands off!’, is that what I’m meant to do?” he asked, looking back at her with the same incredulous look she’d given him.

“No! But -”

“But what? You can’t just ask for something like it’s going to happen in an instant! I’m a guy that’s in love with you, why can’t you see that it’s hard for me to measure up to all of this and the media that gets attached to you regardless of how you want it to,” he replied.

“All I want is for you to want me like I want you,” she said back, her breath shaking as she sucked in her confession.

Gendry threw his hands in the air. “I want you! I’ve always wanted you! From the moment I met you, that’s all I wanted. I can’t keep saying that. I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t want you, I did it to protect myself and my family.”

“I stand by what I said that day. You didn’t need to break us. I could be your family,” she said, her pursing her lips nervously.

“I want that. As much as I want you with every fucking breath I breathe. But I just want to know what I’m meant to do, to prove that I’m still in this, that I want to be back in this,” he said, and as Arya stared back at him, words failing to form, he understood. Words couldn’t quite grasp what they wanted to say or do - as words couldn’t express what a feeling could give. They both wanted that feeling back. It had no name, as how could it truly encapsulate the way it felt to be bound to another and feel whole all in one simple name. In his ear, he could hear voices discussing the princess, Gendry being urged to go to Sansa’s room. “Fuck. I have to go. They want you with Sandor and Beric,” Gendry said, moving along the corridor and finding his way to the princess’s quarters.

He knocked with no response, so he waited another beat before entering. Walking in was like seeing Arya’s room - messy, clothes thrown around as Sansa must have been scouring her entire closest for something.

“So, voices travel,” Sansa called out, throwing a jacket out of her closest, it landing in Gendry’s arms. He had doubts that she even knew where he was, just good aim.

“I fucking hate this place,” he whispered to which Sansa scoffed out a laugh. She moved from the closet with two jackets in front of her, shifting between the two. Gendry shrugged, pointing to a leather one that seemed to suit her outfit more. To that, Sansa threw the other to the side and slide the jacket over her shoulders.

“Did you really ask to be moved?” she said, going back to her bed, where shoes sat next to the foot of it.

“I had to try,” he said, dumping the clothes on a chair. Sansa looked up as she fiddled with the strap of her heel.

“And the argument was…?”

Gendry frown, looking at her as he folded his arms. “When you said voices travel, you meant -”

“Voices travel,” she shrugged, standing and spinning in place once her heels were on. She raised her brow to him, a silent question in her expression: do I look fine? Gendry gave back a nod. “You really just...said all that huh?” she said, moving over to him to pat his shoulder.

“Kill me. I’d feel much better.” He groaned. To that, Sansa laughed, hooking her arm with his and walking them out of her room.

That afternoon, Gendry took Sansa out for lunch and a meeting she had with a few different community leaders. She was very involved in foundations and efforts to help smaller communities that could benefit from a royal advocate. It made Gendry happy to know her - to understand that every action she gave was genuine. She was a great friend, even if they couldn’t publicly be that.

After that, he escorted the princess home and he went back to where he felt safest. Although he was wanted to wait outside the window of a princess - some form of romantic overture in that thought - instead, he ended up in a bar that was quite literally his home as a child.

Undoing his tie, he sat at the bar, amongst a crowd that stared at his back like he wore another man’s face. He knew why; they were a different man in their eyes - the bodyguard that seduced a princess. He hoped one day that wouldn’t be the case, but he had doubts. Then, his mother walked in from the back and beamed at him. To that, the bar quietened down and went back to their business. It took his mother less than a second to figure out what was wrong.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’m trying to move my detail,” he admitted. Tailya’s eyes widened, and she suddenly became stern, folding her arms across her chest and gesturing to the back room. Gendry swallowed, moving off quickly to his mother’s demand.

Upon sneaking into the back, his mother had followed and when face to face, her fist met his chest in a soft thud.

“What happened?” she snapped, folding her arms again.

Gendry sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not going to watch her fall in love with someone right under my nose.”

“Then get back together with her,” she said with an exasperated shrug.

“I can’t, and you know it! I’ll be putting you at risk and -”

“Gendry! Stop blaming me for this!” she yelled, and Gendry shook his head.

“I’m not blaming you!”

“Then stop using me as your excuse,” she said again, stepping into him and holding his cheeks in her hands. She had done it when he was small and she looked at him as she scrunched up her nose. Now, she looked up, cheeks plump and nose scrunching just the same as always. “I’m a big girl. If it comes out, then so be it, we’ll tell the world what a bastard that man was,” she smirked and Gendry laughed, holding onto her elbows. Maybe he just needed her support - to know that she was going to be fine. That he didn’t have to be scared. Where he felt like he was shaking, she was steady.

“If people find out that I’m -”

“It gives you reason to stay with the princess,” she whispered, smiling a sad sort of smile. Neither of them wanted that detail out - it wasn’t something they ever discussed - it felt rotten to them. Then, she pat his chest, shooing him out of the back room. “Now if you don't go to her now, I will never let you live this down, you hear me? I'll bring it up every damn day.”

He knew his mother. That was a living threat. And also knowing her, she’d talk about it when he wasn’t around just to spread it and make other people his little torture. There were regulars at the pub that she could definitely get on her side.

He gave her a nod and moved out the door. He didn’t stop himself from running. He didn’t care. In a brief moment, he didn’t hate himself - he didn’t doubt that he was the right man. He trusted his instincts, and they told him to the place where he wished he was. He made it to the palace with little hiccups before shooting up the stairs, not caring about the fact that it was closer to midnight than it was early evening. When he knocked on Arya’s door, he was given a moment where he could breathe - and no regrets on the decision he was going to make.

Before the door opened, he heard someone clear their throat nearby. He turned, expecting Arya, only to be met with the Queen. He bowed, going to explain his actions as she spoke.

“Gendry, may I see you a moment?” she asked. At the same moment as she turned, Arya’s door swung open.

“Hey, I -”

He had no time, and seeing her made his heart race. “I have to go,” he said against better judgement, pointing down the hall. Arya peered out to see her mother, and to that, Gendry followed the matriarch. He had no idea where it would lead, but it didn’t feel right.

~*~*~

Gendry walked away, and Arya stood in her doorway, biting her lip. As her door closed, she paced, mind racing with possibilities. She was scared where it would lead, and what would happen.

Since their break up, things had been difficult for Arya. She wanted Gendry to fight for her, but as he pointed out - she never accounted for the how. It was a hard thing to understand - even though she was the one that begged for it. Pride kept her from asking him back into her arms. She had asked him to fight, she hadn’t realised how hard it would be.

Arya still felt like trust was hard to regain, but he was starting it - he wasn’t fighting her to forgive him, but rather, he gave the opportunity for his honesty to rise to the surface, act instead of demand.

Even when he shouted, when the words that always got stuck in his chest spilled from his lips, Arya felt her walls come down. She felt less defensive, that she needed to protect herself. When he spoke, the honesty so raw and true, it made her realise how she wanted him - to be as bare as she had been. All they had to do was be who they had always known the other was, instead of false and scared pretences.

In all, Arya felt distant from herself and from Gendry. She hadn’t accounted for everything to happen with the dates. She didn’t want to date, and even when she kissed Elia, it was to try something; she wanted to see if she could feel more for someone else. To see if Gendry was the one that made her go crazy in love or was she in a stage of her life where she craved it. And the kiss confirmed it.

Myrcella and Mycah were surprises. She enjoyed her small outings with Myrcella, they didn’t do anything and she confessed that she mainly wanted to see Arya to get away from her family for a while. Mycah on the other had was someone she wanted to catch up with - they had no romantic entanglement. She had no control over the media or what people said.

It always came down to that, she found. The media, how she was portrayed, how she was seen - they were all things that made her life hard. She couldn’t be a normal person and try to discover what she needed to in private; everything, all the time, was on display.

As for Ned Dayne…

Well, he just wasn’t her type. He was nice, very polite and very understanding - but everything with his interests and hers never aligned. They could have a pleasant conversation, sure, and but deep in her heart, Arya knew she didn’t feel anything for him. If she were to see him again, she’d want it to be on a more casual meeting. Upon meeting him, she feigned a smile, tried to play up her interest in case cameras were around, and then being trapped with him made her continue to fakeness out of...well, she didn’t want to be mean. She did find him interesting, but again, not her type.

A knock came to her door and Arya bounded back to it, finding on the other side her father. “Arya,” he greeted as he walked past her into her room. He sat in one of her arm chairs and Arya went to the other, sitting down across from him and waited a moment.

“Dad, what’s up?” she asked, shifting forward, pursing her lips nervously.

He sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees as his hand went to his mouth. It felt as though he were unsure if he should even be there - to talk to her even. Arya swallowed, feeling an intense urge to jump and act rather than sit there and want. As he looked up, he shook his head. “I know I spoke to you about Gendry, but I feel as though you need to apologise. You know he didn’t mean to hurt you. But your attitude has been quite...selfish,” he said through grit teeth, reclining back in his chair. He stared at Arya

“Have I been?” she said, though a fire burned in her chest. To be fair, she felt attacked. But as she saw her actions, try to understand what he was getting at, it felt right for him to say so. “I don’t think I’ve even noticed.” She fell back into her chair before kicking out and groaning. “Ugh! Why is this so hard?!”

With a shrug, Ned replied. “You love someone and they hurt you. It’s hard to forgive that.” Arya bound her fists at her sides before she moved to her father’s side, sitting on the floor next to his knee.

“I just want to feel okay again.”

A hand on her cheek, Ned smiled to her, sympathetic and fondly. “Giving into pain feeds on the worst parts of ourselves. We turn into self-righteous bastards, thinking we are the victims, when really, we’re just in pain. You don’t feel okay because that pain had fed on something so deeply rooted that its manifested into something else. You have to let go of that grief, be better than it. Be more, Arya. You are capable of so much more,” he said with a whisper. And it made sense. Her life was a series of risks, taken and untaken - shown throughout the media, every flaw and mistake she’s ever made. Then, it was subjected to more. She had always been seen as the flippant one, the one undeserving of the life she had because she didn’t act on it the way she should have.

The moment it all ended, all their words, all the things she thought were lies were made true, and she was scared. She pushed as much as she wanted to cling onto what she no longer had.

“I know. He should be coming by later,” Arya said back, and her father nodded, standing and helping her to her feet. He was ready to leave when he turned on his heels.

“Oh, a boy is here to see you. Edric?” he said, and Arya scrunched up her face.

“Edric?” she asked, before it dawned on her. “Oh! Ned. Right. Um, I should see him, shouldn’t I?” She grimaced as her father did so in return. They snickered for a moment before he gave a stiff nod.

“It’s only right. He came all this way,” he smiled before leaving her room.

It was only a few more minutes before Ned was at her door, smiling so wide it felt intoxicating. His energy was chipper and gave an aura of joy even when Arya didn’t feel like she owned any more.

“Ned, hey, you’re here late?” she said. Ned looked nice, his hands behind his back as he waited for Arya to receive him.

“I came by to see how you were and bring you these,” he said, pulling his arm out from behind his back and revealing a bouquet. It had an assortment of flowers that her sister may have known the names of but was completely lost on Arya. She smiled, taking them from his hands.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, taking them into her room and setting them down on a dresser.

“I know you’re probably not a flower person, but I think every woman deserves to get flowers just once,” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Arya said with a nod.

“I don’t know how many more dates I’m going to get with you,” he sighed, and Arya frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, from the newspapers and the way your security guard stares at you, I’m pretty sure he’s still in love with you in spite of you two not being a thing,” he said, walking towards her.

“It’s complicated,” she laughed, rolling her shoulders uncomfortably.

“Which is why I want to do this, just once,” he said, stepping into her. Arya wanted to back up but found there was no room before her and the dresser she had placed her flowers down onto.

“Do wh-”

His lips were on hers before she could ask. Within a second, Arya was trying to get out from the touch. She wasn’t expecting it, and if she had been asked, she most likely would have declined. As soon as they pulled away from each other, Arya didn’t even have a second to register what was happening when Gendry at her door spoke.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion, your highness,” Gendry said, clearing his throat at the door.

Ned grimaced to Arya at the sudden moment, mouthing an apology before he left the room. “Have a fine night, Gendry,” he said quietly before he was gone. Gendry looked down at the floor before he looked back at Arya.

“I didn’t know that was going to happen,” Arya said, racing up to Gendry. He tucked his hands behind his back, but in his eyes, Arya could tell he was lying - the watery edge of his eye was giving him away. Arya’s heart clenched tight.

“Arya, can you please stop apologising for living your life. I already told you -”

“Why are you always so willing to give up at any inconvenience?” she said, her chest feeling tight and body ready to break apart. She wanted to cry - everything was happening all at once and there wasn’t an easy way to fix this when tempers were high in stubborn people.

“Hey, I’m not giving up, but it’s clear that you can get whoever you -”

“You walked in one something you didn’t understand. I can explain that,” she said, stern voice even when she felt like she would waver. Then, Gendry broke from his consistent bodyguard attitude to the man that she knew - the one that took a moment in the woods to confess love, or the very same bedroom to do something that he should have regret but didn’t.

“Looking at you is painful. I know what I did was wrong, but every time you’re with someone it’s like I’m being punished over and over again! I am in pain here!” he exclaimed, and Arya watched as he poured himself into his words, panting as he tried to catch his breath, letting words come out even if they were painful to say. “I know I shouldn’t feel like I can’t have you. But I’ve never felt this happy in my life, and of course I had to fuck it up!” he said, throwing his hands into the air before he took a moment to recover. Putting his hands on his hips, Gendry looked back to Arya, sighing and moving to an appropriate distance as all security personnel did. “I’m sorry for the outburst, your highness. Goodnight.” He gave a stiff nod before he moved off down the hall.

If he had stayed, he would have heard everything that Arya wanted to say, to get a moment alone with him and explain he didn’t need to be in pain anymore. Fuck. She had fucked this up too, hadn’t she?

All night, Arya tossed and turned. Everything was harder than it should have been. And she knew why. She was so fucking stubborn that she couldn’t let anything be easy. Even when it should have been. When walls could come down, she’d rather build them up and watch someone fall trying to climb it. Arya knew it wasn’t healthy, but fear kept her hidden, and pride kept her from caring who fell.

At least, it used to.

She woke in a foul mood, provided to her by the lack of sleep the night before. She received a text from Ned that morning, apologising once more about his abrupt attack, but said it would make Gendry jealous enough to ask her out again. Arya wasn’t sure about that, as she walked to the kitchen, she felt frozen by his presence. He didn’t seem at all willing to even acknowledge her existence.

Arya cleared her throat as she raced up to his side, walking beside him.

“Last night, you got called in by my mum, what did she say?” she asked, curiosity keeping them from the words that were said, and things the other had witnessed.

“It wasn’t important,” he stopped to look at her, his eyes fixed on her like she was something he couldn’t understand. Arya sucked in a breath that felt hollow of anything in her chest.

“Please be honest with me,” Arya asked, moving into his space. Gendry stepped away, the space between them becoming like it how it used to - filled with a tension that no words could describe, but only a kiss could release.

“I’m being moved to Robb’s detail in two weeks,” he said, the way his jaw snapped shut once he was finished talking was shocking, like he was shoving a door in her face.

“Robb?” she asked, and they began walking again.

“I’m told it’s going to be easier for you,” he said, though the way his jaw tightened seemed forced, as though the words weren’t his own.

“Gendry -”

They were interrupted by the Queen coming into the long corridor from the staircase. She beamed once she caught sight of Arya and snatched up her hands excitedly. “Arya, we have some ambassadors wanting to speak to you about your new gym idea. They’re very interested in expanding women’s involvement in sports,” she said, and although it was everything Arya wanted to talk about, she wanted to stay with the man at her side more. Then, her mother turned to him, giving him a soft nod of acknowledgement. “Gendry.”

“Your Majesty,” he bowed, and allowed Arya to follow her mother. He stayed in the spot she left him until her mother dragged her off, rounding a corner where she could no longer find him.

They weren’t able to see each other for the rest of the day, or the following morning either. Arya kept getting swept away, pulled from the place where she had always desired to be. For the rest of her night that day, she was in meeting after meeting, organising things with her mother.

There were moments of silence between them that made Arya want to ask what was talked about between her bodyguard an the queen, but every time courage came, it was tossed aside by the knowledge was the one that would answer. It was hard for Arya to connect with her mother, and sometimes, just asking a question was enough to pull the two apart. Arya was scared of the answers that would come. All she wanted to know was that Gendry was still going to fight.

After coming back from a morning meeting with a few different groups that wanted to help Arya launch her organisation, she found Gendry at the bottom of a staircase. He looked exhausted, though she didn’t realise why until she looked at her watch. From what she thought was just a morning meeting had gone into her afternoon, and would have been a full shift for Gendry.

Upon seeing her, it seemed as though dread kept him staying still. He almost bolted from his place at the brink of the stairs, and off towards the staff exit. Arya threw her things on the stairs and chased after him. They were getting towards the locker rooms, and Arya shouted.

“Why are you being like this?”

“Like what?” Gendry turned to her before he kept walking.

“Like every time you see me, you want to die,” she said, stopping as she watched Gendy walk away. She was surprised when he did too, as though he were finally seen and didn’t know that someone was watching. Arya moved first, surging forward and grabbing hold of the sleeve of his jacket. He looked down to her hand before he met his gaze with hers. “Gendry, I want to say I’m sorry for everything. This didn’t just happen to me, it happened to you too. I know being with me made things difficult, but…” she started, her words suddenly feeling awkward and less effective than they had in her head. She sighed, letting his sleeve go as she stepped back from him. “Look, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say for being selfish and a brat and thinking I was the only person that was hurt,” she admitted, folding her arms and waiting for him to reply. Gendry rubbed at the back of his neck.

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted.

“Say you’ll take me back?” she said softly, chewing on her lip when his attention shot back to her.

“What?”

“I have to earn back your trust too, I know that, but we can if you want?” she said, hope rising enough to bring out a smile. Then, without warning, Gendry pulled away, staggering backwards.

“I have to go.”

Arya stared back, watching him leave. “Wait, what? Why?”

“I’ll get Beric with you,” he said, turning into the locker room.

“I don’t want Beric, I want you!” she shouted, only for the door to close behind him. Arya sighed, moving from the corridor and back up to her room. She tossed her things inside before she bounded into her sister’s room, needing someone to just take her mind off of the awful luck she had been having.

As Arya stared up at the ceiling, Sansa prancing around her room, talking about her day and how Sandor was being an idiot about her detail because of being switched out all the time. It was hard for Arya to concentrate, all she could think about how dumbstruck Gendry’s face was when he heard what she had said. Gendry rarely looked like a fool - he was smart in his own way and made sure that when he didn’t know something, it didn’t show. So to look floored by something, and confused about it too, made Arya confused as well.

Why was everything all complicated.

Suddenly, Sansa was over her, hair concealing their faces as Sansa hovered over Arya. She was about to toss Sansa away from her, when Sansa said something that made her stop.

“I’ve been talking to him, you know?” Sansa said. Arya crept out from underneath Sansa and leaned on her elbows to look at her sister.

“To who?” she asked.

“Gendry,” she scoffed, knowing full well it was obvious.

“What? Why?”

“When Sandor and Gendry swapped, we’d sit in my room and talk,” she explained, and Arya was in shock. They talked? He didn’t follow Sansa around and sulk? He enjoyed her company enough to talk to her? Why did everyone always like Sansa!

“About?”

“You, dummy,” Sansa snickered tumbling back against her pillows and setting up like she was going to stay silent. As Arya crept over to her sister’s side, a fist raised to threaten her, Sansa caved, though with how easy it all came out, Arya suspected Sansa didn’t need the prompting. “He still loves you, but he’s so scared that you’re going to reject him that he isn’t secure enough to ask,” she confessed, and Arya fell back against the pillows, pulling the duvet over her head as she groaned into it. Then, she peaked out, looking at Sansa.

“I want him back but it still feels like he’s pulling away.” Her voice was muffled by the duvet, but it was still concerned.

“It’ll take a little to feel ok, but there isn’t any harm in taking him back,” Sansa said, pulling it away and making Arya speak.

“What if he hurts me again? What if I hurt him again too?”

“That is the absolute last thing he wants to do. I think you guys have been so stuck in your own heads that seeing someone who is desperately in love with you is hard,” she said, and the two looked at each other, saddened by their conversation. All Arya wanted to do was resolve everything - to be rid of the thing that hung over her like a smell that wouldn’t rest.

Even when the night came to a close and Arya had crept back into her room, she still thought of everything - the pain that fuelled a hatred in them for whatever reason. Mostly, Arya hated that the pain had persisted, that she let it evade her life and stay there, making her someone she didn’t want to be.

In the middle of the night, she was woken from her sleep to a banging on her door. She winced as she looked at the time on her phone. Close to two in the morning. Wrapping a long cardigan around herself, she went to her door, ready to yell at Sam for forcing a midnight fire drill on them again when she saw a disheveled Gendry in front of her.

“I know I messed up. I can’t take that back,” he blurted at the first sign of her. Gendry wasn’t quite staying up on his own, holding onto the frame of the door, and he looked semi-dazed. His suit from work was undone - tie loose, and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He just looked like Gendry, and not the bodyguard she saw a few hours earlier.

“Gendry, are you drunk?”

“Yes.”

Arya glanced around, surprised no one was awake from how loud he was being. “How did you even get back in the palace?”

“You think I just forget your secret entrances? Which makes this place less secure, I should seal them up,” he said, hand going to his forehead, as though he were sobering up, even when he was tipsy.

“Why are you here?” she asked, wrapping her cardigan around herself tighter. His hair was a mess, like he had been pulling at it or had worked his fingers through it to make it look nicer. Either way, it didn’t work for him. Then, like everything came crashing down, Gendry looked at her, his bottom lip quivering and eyes the saddest she had ever seen them.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Like I keep seeing you and knowing I missed out on the only happiness I ever had. I should have fought by your side. I should have told the world to go fuck itself and stand there with you. But I got scared. My mum...she’s everything to me. I thought I’d lose her. But all I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, now I’m shoved to the side like the world always wanted for me. I would go down on my knees right now and say how much I love you if it’d do any good. Please, tell me what to do...what to say...how to fight. I’ll do it all, I can’t live like this anymore,” he said, the truth pouring out of him like he couldn’t stop. Words that had gone unsaid for so long, he wasn’t sure if he’d get them all out, so instead, he didn’t break to breathe - he just had to tell her.

“Gendry, please, I want to talk to you about this, but I want you sober, we can -”

“I meant it. I’ve been breaking my heart every day just to be around you. I can’t explain why it all happened, it just happened and I was freaked out. The dates - they’ve been painful and I just want to leave this place for good because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I didn’t even know it until it was too late. I’m sorry. I have to keep saying it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s all self esteem shit, and I can’t put that on you, but it happened because I’m just..” he stopped, tears falling from his eyes, his hand going to his face to wipe them away. He looked so broken, and he wasn’t hiding the fact that he was crying. Arya stepped towards him instinct holding her to her heart’s desire. “I’m just sick of feeling like I’m a piece of shit, and you don’t make me that. You make me better, and I can’t believe I gave you up,” he said, a sob coming and his shoulders hunching as he finally let out a strangled cry.

“Hey, baby, come here,” she said, the name slipping, but she didn’t care. She pulled him into her room, holding tight to his hands, to centre him to her.

“I don’t know how you’d want me, why you look at me the way you do and still want me to fight. I want to keep going, but I don’t want it to be for nothing,” he confessed in between a shaking breath.

“It’s not. I promise it’s not,” she shook her head, words coming fast, as though the speed would convince him.

“I’ll never leave you again, I’ll always be by your side if you want me. I’ll be everything I’m bad at. You make me better! Please, I’ll do everything I need in order to prote-”

She kissed him without thinking, her heart thumping like a drum, beating at her like a call from his words directly to her heart. Arya couldn’t take it and she pounced. Gendry made a noise against her lips for a second before he curled his arms around the small of her back, holding her to him, kissing her back desperately.

Pulling away, Gendry’s hands went to her cheeks, smiling to her in a drunk haze. “You don’t ever have to leave again, I promise.” She smiled, holding him and not regretting anything for a moment.

“I will always be in love with you, Arya Stark,” he said, and Arya felt herself get choked up, almost unable to reply.

“I love you.”

“Do you trust me? That I’ll never hurt you again?” he asked, sniffing, as he held her face, bringing his forehead to hers.

“With all my heart. I trust you with my whole life,” she confessed, whispering to him before she pulled him to her bed. There, she held him in her arms, putting them to bed and finding the familiarity in their embrace.

It was a loving home, inside her bed, inside his arms. It was everything that made her feel safe.

Before the morning light came in, Arya called down to the kitchen, asking for a few things for breakfast, including an entire pot of coffee. In the meantime, she sat up in her bed, watching the lump of a drunken idiot sleep soundly in a bed he had shared with her on different occasions. She liked seeing him sleep, sound and peaceful, no longer a worry in him.

When the knocking started, Arya saw Gendry stir and she jumped from the bed, curling her cardigan back around herself and bolting to the door. “Shit,” she swore as she tried to keep the room quiet. She opened it up wide to the trolley of food and Hot Pie with his bright face and very bright personality.

“Good morning, princess!” he beamed, handing over the trolley.

“Thank you for this,” she whispered back, joistling the trolley into her room and trying her hardest not to wake Gendry in her bed.

“Why are you whispering?” he whispered back to her. Arya smiled back nervously.

“I have a headache, just keeping it quiet this morning.” She lied well from Hot Pie’s shocked face and finger pressing to his lips. As she closed the door, she heard the soft sounds of her sheets shifting around, a groan of discomfort.

“Fuck,” Gendry moaned before a moment passed. As Arya rounded the small corner to see him in bed, his body half up from the bed, rubbing at his eye before he saw the room and then, Arya. “Oh fuck,” he swore under his breath before getting up from the bed. Arya smiled as he stumbled to stay upright, and she walked over to him as he spoke. “Your Highness, I’m so sorry about last night, I’m sure you didn’t need a drunken idiot at your doo-” he said, as though he only remembered part of the night. Arya interrupted him quickly, stealing a kiss at the edge of his words. As she settled back on her feet, Gendry looked at her, confused and trying to remember. “Wait what?”

Arya stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his back. Gendry stiffened, watching her as she looked up at him. “My stupid boyfriend came crying to me last night, and I couldn’t very well send him off in that state,” she explained.

“Boyfriend?” he asked.

“Yep. My boyfriend,” she confirmed, and as soon as she said it, Gendry lit up like a Christmas tree, surging forward and kissing her with every ounce of himself. Arya had missed being kissed like that - like not kissing her would mean death if he didn’t do it right then and there.

“I know we need to talk about shit, but right now I just want to kiss you until my headache goes away,” he said, forehead against hers.

“I can definitely help with the kissing part,” she laughed as Gendry fell back into the bed, dragging her with him, kissing him as much as she damn well wanted.

And so they talked. They actually talked. After all the kissing of course. Arya said her peace - her heart free of the burden of its shattered state, and the guilt she had been feeling these last few days over how things were shoved in his face unfairly, especially when most things were untrue. Gendry apologised for acting like a child about everything, mostly that he hurt her. He said he wanted to be honest. Arya agreed on this - they needed it. At every moment, they couldn’t let every insecurity that had fed on their unhappiness surface again.

She acted like a spoiled teenager, and she had promised herself that she’d never be that girl again. Arya kinda failed with that, but Gendry didn’t seem to mind when he was holding her hand.

With his thumb running over the knuckles of her hand, he seemed troubled. Arya moved into his face, nose nudging against his and a small little laugh came from him as he looked up at her.

“I have to tell you something. It’s...one of the reasons I didn’t want the paparazzi around me or my family,” he said, voice cracking as he spoke.

“What is it?”

“My dad...I know who he is, and it’s...not…”

“Who -”

“King Robert,” he blurted, looking at her with cautious eyes.

“Baratheon? What about him?” she asked with a scoff, only to be met with silence. Then, a thought occurred to her. “He’s…” she asked, and Gendry gave a slow nod. “Seven Hells,” she exclaimed, and in a moment, Gendry gripped her hands tighter, as though he were going to lose her.

“I don’t talk about it a lot. I don’t think about the bastard and what he did to my mum. But the news...they could make a big deal about it and maybe try and -”

“You have claim,” she realised, and Gendry didn’t look at her - only their hands. Sucking in her lip, she thought. Taking her hand from his, she placed it on his cheek, making him look up at her. “Ok, so we’ll talk to my dad. We’ll work it out. We’ll figure everything out. Together.”

Gendry’s eyes glistened, nerves relieved from his shoulders and his forehead met hers, a sigh escaping him. “I love you, Arya Stark,” he confessed.

“I love you too, Waters,” Arya replied, nose nuzzling his.

And when Gendry tackled her to the bed again, holding her to his chest and taking the morning for themselves, she felt it. Every ounce of him, every molecule he had, loved her. He would never let her go if he had air in his lungs. He would always love her without restraint, without people judging him.

Arya Stark was loved. And she loved being loved, because loving him back was so easy.

#gendrya #got fic #gendry x arya #arya x gendry #gendrya fic #my fics #cfois #chivalry fell on its sword

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bts-svt-mx · 6 years ago

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OK SO.. This is an explanation of my Rose Bowl BTS concert floor seat experience that has taken me a week and a half to get over

So disclaimer: If you don’t want to read this then please ignore this post and go back to your normal blogging and I’ll put this post under read more to not torture you all with my pent up feelings lol

Alright kids SADDLE UP!

I know I didn’t really talk about my BTS Concert experiences at the Rose Bowl after it happened, so now that I’ve fully recovered let me just scream about a few things.

SO FIRST, Day 1 I was really far away (like back of the stadium) but Day 2.. bitch i was so cLOSE. I was like two rows away from the back right corner of the extended stage.

Since not much happened Day 1 imma talk about the Day 2. RIght, so before the concert, it didnt really hit me that bts are like actual humans that would be right in front of me but as soon as they finished Not Today and moved onto Outro: Wings and started moving around the stage and interacting with us, I just flipped my shit. No joke. Like Taehyung made eye contact with me for .2 seconds and it IGNITED A FIRE IN ME.

So let me make a list of

who was in our corner from most to least:

1. Hobi

2. Jimin

3. Namjoon

4. Jungkook

5. and then Taehyung/Jin/Yoongi were all pretty equal (sadly my ultimate Taehyung wasn’t near us too much, he kinda stuck to the middle of the sides of the stage and not the corners of the stage if that makes sense) BUT with Taehyung, I had two moments with him that made me cry uGH

Let’s break it down by most interactions now:

1. NAMJOONNNNNNNNNNNN-

So you know how people are like ‘oh he looked at me’ but it could have been like 10 other people right? BUT NO!! THIS ONEEEEE! THIS ONE!!! So like he was over by us A LOT and I was standing in like this kind of open space directly in front of the corner of the stage so like:

but like no one was directly in front of me but there were people that moved around a lot, but basically there was like this weird opening in front of me. So Namjoon comes over to us a lot and like he’s making a lot of eye contact with me and smiling and smirking and i’m like am I going crazy?? Like im not y/n this isnt real right? and then near the end of the concert, he’s looking in my direction again and my friend right next to me makes the love sign with her fingers (like the boy with luv ending jungkook pose) and NAMJOON LOOKS AT ME THEN AT HER AND THEN DOES THE HAND SIGN BACK TO HER TOOOOOOO and SMILES AT US. ugh girl i died. namjoon is for sure #3 on my bias list now.

2. Jimin

So this boy was over by us SO SO much and he would just stand there and stare at us and smile. Like I just got to analyze his face and take in his beauty. and like we made like true eye contact once or twice but I mostly just got to bask in his beauty and study his face so well. it was like looking at an angel.

3. Taehyung

Even though he didnt come by our section that much (still so sad about that tbh) the times HE DID THOUGH? UGh i’ve never seen such a beautiful man before. it was crazy. it hurt to look at him. ANYWAY so like i think during outro: wings he had this intense stare and he was analyzing the crowd and we made eye contact for a second and it felt like the heavens had opened up and everything was right in the world. i had a panic attack after it. and THEN at the end of the concert, as they were ending Mikrokosmos and they were all saying goodbye and not singing anymore, and the music kinda lowered and no one was really shouting just all being like ‘aww bye’ you know? and taehyung was just about to go back up the catwalk to the main stage and i dont know what comes over me but i yell “TAEHYUNG!!” at the top of my lungs and by the grace of God, the boy WHIPS his head in my direction and smiles and wow idk how he heard me but he did and that’s enough for me. like that’s all i needed.

4. Jungkook

Kookie didn’t really come to us thattttt much, like it was decent but when HE FLEW! it was the closest jungkook was ever going to be to being on top of me and wow.. he didnt fly directly on top of us which turned out to be better because he was in front of us in the air and facing our direction and looking down at us and he made quick eye contact with me and i felt like he was my best friend in that moment. like honestly, watching him the whole concert felt like i was watching my goofball of a best friend act super weird but super hot at the same time up on stage at like a talent show or some shit lmaooooo. It was pretty much exactly what I expected from my bias wrecker and i loved it.

5. J-Hope

Hobi gets an honorable mention because he was over on our side the most out of everyone but we didn’t really have many moments of interaction. like very fleeting glances in my direction but no real like REAL eye contact sadly..

6. Jin

Ugh my boy Jin.. He’s one of the members that I really love and respect in a different way than the others and I was sad I didn’t get to interact with him besides just staring at his gorgeous face. I wish he came over to us more but he was great nonetheless.

7. Yoongi

My little Yoongles was so cute but he really didn’t come by us that much but when he did he would kind of just glance at us and smile and not make much eye contact but that’s ok he was still prettier and more amazing than i’ll ever be lmao. Still love the kid though.

IN CONCLUSION:

It was such an amazing night, and being there during Namjoon’s speech the second day was like no other feeling I have ever felt. Despite being not right next to them at that point, i could FEEL the love they had for us and the emotions and happiness and pure bliss that they were all feeling, like it was just flowing through the air. It felt like a real and true connection with them and that we were just all sitting in a room talking about how much we loved each other. And then when Jimin started crying and Jungkook was hugging him, like wow that was powerful..

Unfortunately, I had such major post concert depression after the concert, worse than I’ve ever had before. Like i felt like i had no purpose anymore in life and i was so stressed with them being in LA for the week after because I was less than an hour from them and I had constant anxiety over it. so it took me a while to get over that and now i finally feel like i can appreciate all that happened and go on with my life with positivity and gratefulness that i was able to be so close to them. So thank you BTS for such a wonderful two nights.

That’s it!! If you read all of this, I’m very impressed and respect you a lot. This was really just for me to look back on an reminisce about my experience being so close to my favorite band so I hope you enjoyed reading this :)

#bts #speak yourself #speak yourself tour #my concert #bts rose bowl #speak yourself rose bowl #concert experience #taehyung #jungkook #namjoon #jimin #jin #yoongi #hoseok #personal

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ellebabywrites · 7 years ago

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Roommates (II) - Yoo Kihyun

Type : Twoshot // Angst // Sad but Fluffy Ending (it’s cute but sad lads 🤧)

Word Count : 2193

Author Note : FINALLY ! Here’s a much requested part 2 for Roommates ! Enjoy my Lovelies 🥰

Previous: Part 1 , Part 2

It had been 2 weeks since your fight with Kihyun , 2 weeks since you’d last seen him .

You had cried that whole night . Pressed up against the door ; trying desperately to muffle the sounds incase Kihyun had the bad sense to try and talk to you again . Of course , he had spent the night on the other side listening to your cries , wanting nothing more than to go in and hold you till all the pain that he had caused had gone .

The next morning you packed as much of your stuff as possible into an old suitcase and left ; heading straight for Jooheon’s , where you could finally breathe .

You had heard him banging on Jooheon’s front door not even an hour later , demanding to see you and calling out your name ; Jooheon blocking him from entering , telling him you didn’t want to see him .

You had heard him come back and try again the next morning , begging for you to talk to him , crying his eyes out . But again Jooheon had stuck by you and refused to let him in .

You’d never seen Kihyun cry in all the years you’d known him and now , in some backwards way , it felt like you were the cause of it ; maybe that’s what made it so much more painful .

On the third day of Kihyun showing up desperately trying to see you , you decided it was best to go somewhere else . You knew Kihyun would keep coming back and you didn’t want to burden Jooheon anymore than you already had with this situation . “Y/N , please you can stay as long as you need , I mean it , you know I’m here for you always” he had said .

Jooheon was a good friend . But being so close to Kihyun was torture . Him showing up in tears every day , begging for you ; so close but still so far away . It was torture and you needed to go somewhere else .

Changkyun , another mutual friend , had generously let you temporarily move in with him . By now the rest of your friend group had been filled in on the situation and they’d all offered to help you out . Changkyun lived in another building 10 minutes away from your apartment with Kihyun , but still close enough to your school , so you’d jumped on his offer . It was 1 room with an open floor plan so the bed was just a bookcase away from the kitchen ; but it was fine . Changkyun took the couch , insisting many times that it was okay and he was more than comfortable ; while you took the bed . He was amazing . Always made sure you were comfortable and was a shoulder to try cry on pretty much every night since you’d moved in .

You’d only been staying there a week but you’d already found yourself missing living with Kihyun . You missed the banter you shared over coffee every morning ; you missed how the place would always smell of lemons after he showered . Despite everything , you missed him so fucking much and it only made you feel worse . How could you miss him after how bad he’d hurt you ?

///

You were sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket burrito , watching Howl’s moving castle for the millionth time - when Changkyun and Jooheon burst through the door dressed up to go out , smiles and all .

“Y/N ! Get up we’re going out .” Changkyun had yelled at you , practically pouncing on top of your buried figure .

“I’m not really feeling it , you guys go ,”

At your immediate rejection , Jooheon jumped into your other side and started unwrapping you from the blanket fortress you’d made .

“No . Y/N it’s been almost 2 weeks . Official wallowing time is up and now it’s time to get back out there ; let loose ; have fun . No excuses .” He pushed you up and playfully smacked your ass , “go get ready , we’re leaving in 10 minutes !” Jooheon smiled up at you with that look he knew you couldn’t turn down and the next thing you know , you’re sitting in the back of his car in a skimpy black dress wishing you’d stayed in bed .

///

The club was packed . Sweaty , half naked bodies pressed and grinned up against each other to the beat of whatever song was playing out . The stench of liquor filled your senses and drew the three of you further into the sea of people . You weren’t really into clubbing but you were no stranger to the scene ; Changkyun and Jooheon dragging you out with them more times than necessary whenever any of you were particularly stressed .

“Stop looking so worried Y/N , it’s about time we get you out of this Kihyun funk and let off some steam ,” Changkyun elbowed your side , handing you a glass of what looks tasted like straight Tequila , “c’mon let’s dance!”

It didn’t take long for the three of you to get absolutely shitfaced . Jooheon had already left with some girl he knew and Changkyun was in the middle of chatting up a very pretty blonde over at the bar - while you were trying to let out all those pent up feelings on the dance floor . You don’t remember the name of the guy you’re dancing with , but he’s handsome and charming and the tequila running through your bloodstream is having a whirl of a time .

The song changes to something slower , dirtier and you adjust your dancing to accommodate ; your partner having no objections , pulling you closer to him as you grind and swivel your hips to the beat . Feeling hot lips on your neck , you reach behind to hold onto his hair anchoring yourself to his strong body , as the people around you push and knock into the pair of you .

You don’t care much when the hot stranger starts sucking and nipping at your shoulder , neck and jaw - hell , if Kihyun can fuck a new girl every other day , you could sure as hell get it on with this guy .

Why were you thinking about Kihyun ?

The guy starts rutting into you from behind and nips at you ear harshly.

“Wanna get out of here darling ?” He asks , turning your body around and latching his lips to the skin of your collarbone .

“I would lov……” before you can respond , someone pulls you out of his grasp and roughly pushes you into their side .

“Sorry , she can’t . She’s coming home .” Looking up you’re met with Kihyun’s stern face and piercing glare that , no doubt , is what sends the other guy away without complaint .

“What the fuck Kihyun!?” You yank your arm out of his grasp and start to wobble away , further into the crowd of people - Kihyun following behind you closely .

“Y/N ! Come on we’re leaving ,” he grabs your arm again , with enough force to make you stop and face him , “Now.”

And then he’s pulling you back through the crowd and out to his car . The alcohol making you too weak or too tired to protest anymore , you reluctantly let him strap you into the passenger seat without another word ; settling on mirroring his earlier scowl instead .

After driving for a few minutes , you feel the buzz start to wear off and finally gather up the nerve to talk to him .

“Where are you taking me?” You ask while refusing to look at him .

“Home .” He answers bluntly .

“This isn’t the way to Changkyun’s , turn around .”

“No , our home . I’m taking you back to our home ,” pulling up outside your old building , for the first time since you’d gotten in the car , he looks at you “you belong back at home Y/N , back with me .”

There was something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read , he seemed serious but at the same time scared . ‘What did he have to be scared about?’ You thought .

Wordlessly , Kihyun unbuckles your seatbelt and helps you out of the car ; leading you up to the apartment you both once shared . It still looked the same . Some of your things still where you’d left them .

Kihyun’s silence was starting to annoy you ; why wasn’t he talking ? Why did he bring you here ? How did he even know where you were ? All these things left unsaid were only grating on you more and more .

He didn’t even look at you as he moved into the kitchen and brought you a glass of water ; presumably to help sober you up , but any alcohol had long left your system by now , hopefully .

“Why am I here Kihyun ?” You couldn’t hold back the irritation that laced your words . And again . He didn’t look at you . He just walked passed you to sit on the couch , turning on the TV and getting comfortable .

“You live here .” All sincerity you thought you sensed back in the car was gone and now replaced with the same Kihyun you’d gotten used to . The cold , arrogant , asshole you’d been putting up with for months and now he’d pushed you to your limit .

“No , actually Kihyun I don’t ,” storming over you switch off the TV and stand in front of it , forcing him to look at you , “I live with Changkyun , why the hell did you bring me here !? Better yet , why the hell did you come get me at all !?” Your voice remained harsh and strong as you spat the questions at him .

Kihyun had never seen you so angry before and he didn’t like it . He felt his resolve crack slightly as your eyes piercing through his own . It’d be a lie if he said it wasn’t turning him on , but there were more important issues at hand . For once letting feelings over take any sexual desires he was feeling .

“No this is your home…” he trailed off seeing you turn to leave . He had to convince you to come back home to him . He hadn’t realised how much he needed you till you were gone . He missed you so desperately , it was embarrassing considering he had been the one to drive you away - he just didn’t know how to express it .

Grasping at his hair he stood up to brace himself for what he was about to do .

“I miss you Y/N … I-I just , I can’t think about anything or anybody ; I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not here . I can’t eat ; I can’t sleep . I can’t sleep knowing you’re not across the hall in your bed ; knowing you’re out there hating me when I love you…” it had just slipped out , the ‘L’ word , but he had meant it , god did he mean it .

Confidence building seeing you had stopped walking out , he continued - “... I’m in love with you . I’m so fucking in love with you it hurts . It hurt so bad I got scared , I messed up and I slept around and I tried to not care , I tried not to care when you were getting closer to Jooheon ; I tried to ignore your cries that night ; I tried everything to stop this feeling but I don’t want to anymore . I love you . I need you . I miss you . Please Y/N , please come home . It’s okay , you can hate me , I deserve it , just - just please ...”

Unknowingly you had closed the gap between you , eyes glassy and lips trembling at his confession . He’d gone back to avoiding your eyes , but if the shaking in his hands and the tears glassing his own eyes were any indication , it was just his nerves . Kihyun had never so openly talked about his feelings and now he had started he couldn’t seem to stop .

You reached out to grab his hands , forcing him to look at you so you could respond , but his ranting only picked up speed .

“... you don’t even have to talk to me , dont even look at me , I’ll leave you alone I swear , please just come home , please just come back to me…”

You cup his cheeks and wipe away the stray tears that had slipped out . When your thumb comes down to trace his lips he finally stops talking and reaches up to hold your waist .

“Ki…” you whisper, but he interrupts you , whispering back ,

“I’m so fucking sorry Y/N . I was wrong . I got scared and I messed everything up . I’m sorry .”

Leaning in you gently press your lips against his . Nervous and unsure , moving them slowly , afraid of something you can’t name . It takes a couple of seconds for Kihyun to respond but when he does , he grabs your cheeks and holds you to him , putting all the things he was feeling into this one kiss .

It wasn’t rushed or raunchy , instead being soft and passionate , stealing the breath from both of your lungs . When the need for air becomes too great , you pull away only to then bury your face into his shoulder and cry . Overwhelmed by emotions . His confession , missing him so much , finally getting to kiss him and probably still a little bit buzzed - it’s too much and you don’t even try to contain the waterfall of tears .

“I love you all the time . Every minute of every day . Shhhh it’s okay , I’m here Y/N . I love you . I love you .” Kihyun whispers into your hair as his arms wrap around your shaking figure to pull you further into him . That’s how you both stay , pressed together in the middle of the living room , whispering softly to each other and crying out all those pent up feelings .

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amysubmits · 7 years ago

Text

Are You In Control, Here?

@cynicaldom had me sit on a hitachi while sitting between his legs, sucking him off. I came close to orgasm a few times, asked permission and was denied. The last time I raised off the wand before finishing asking permission because I was too close and had to stop it before getting an answer.

He started moving and I realize he’s moving to stand on his knees on the bed, to fuck my face, while I stay seated on the hitachi.

“May I just have permission to orgasm if I need to? They’ve been coming on really quickly..?”

He says no. “Then can I not sit on the..” he says no again before I finish asking. He pushes his cock towards my face. My mind races with several sentences that start with ‘but’.

But with your cock down my throat, there is no way I’ll have time to ask permission on time, or even just ‘please’. I’ll have to just get off the wand.

But if I’m not going to have time to ask you first, I can’t cum anyway so the wand is just an annoying distraction.

But it’s already so much multi-tasking to focus on breathing when you pull out some, controlling my gag reflex, staying still and wrapping my lips around my teeth. It’s so hard to worry about orgasming too.

But if I just fail to multitask and orgasm accidentally that’s unfair.

But I’d rather just focus on your cock.

But...

I manage to shut my brain up, reminding myself that he knows my body and won’t likely push me to the point of orgasming by accident. He’s not asking me to do the impossible I just don’t like this idea and that’s on me, not him. If I genuinely do accidentally go over it’s not like he’d be disappointed, he just wants me to try my best.

I manage the experience without any accidental orgasms.

He moves to fucking me. Painfully slow to torture me, then hard and fast, a little painful, then back to torturing me with going so slowly. I try to focus on how letting him tease me, just going with the flow whatever it is, makes me a good girl. Thinking about being a good girl for him turns me on more, making me more desperate for release. He pulls out and I beg for his cock. “Tell me you’re my whore.” he says. I almost always need a moment to gather myself before repeating anything he makes me say. Not this time, I’m too eager to care. “I’m your whore.” I say. “Louder.” he instructs. “I’m your whore!” He growls this time “scream it.” “I’M YOUR WHORE!” I yell. He gives it to me but keeps teasing me, not quite letting me get close enough to the edge to ask permission to cum for what feels like forever. Back and forth between hard and fast, and slow and taunting.

At last, while in a ‘hard and fast’ phase I ask permission to orgasm and he finally says yes, and then instantly pulls out. Shocked, I fumble over myself begging for him to fuck me. After a few seconds he does, but very slowly. My thoughts go crazy again.

You can’t do that! I can’t cum when you change it up like that after you give me permission! You KNOW I can’t cum when you change it up as soon as I’m at the peak.

What the fuck.

I’m going to scream.

If I don’t cum quickly this is totally his fault (I have a rule about waiting until i’m close to orgasming before asking permission.)

This is so unfair.

I keep all of those thoughts to myself, but I beg for him to fuck me. He goes back to fucking me roughly for a minute and I get very close again. I’m so close to orgasm that I think I’m going to bust - and then he instantly goes back to going slowly.

“AHHH DAMN IT!!” I say out loud without really realizing it was spoken instead of a thought. My brain is surprised as the sounds hit my ears.

He slaps my ass hard. I’m sweaty and it stings like a mother.

My mind swirls again. “Oh, that was bad. I can’t believe I said that. Am I going to be in trouble? Shit. Do I still try to cum? I have permission so I should try, right? I don’t deserve to cum though. But if he wants me to then...? UGH. A few minutes ago I was getting myself more turned on thinking about being his good girl and that seems so screwed up now. I’m not good. I don’t deserve to orgasm.”

I’m physically exhausted and pent up. This guilt on top of it has my emotions in a messy ball, and yet physically I’m still so desperate for release. He’s continued to tease me, intentionally going back to being too slow as soon as I get close. It’s clear to me he’s waiting until he sees signs of me being close. I’m spent, my body wants to lie down. I know the repetitive teasing right up to the edge is very intentional. I know he’s doing this for so long because it guarantees I’ll stop trying to control the outcome. I have to give in and just accept that I have no clue when or if he’ll let me cum. My mind won’t shut off though, and I can’t decide if I should be trying to orgasm or trying to shut it down. He clearly wants to tease me so shutting it down isn’t an option, but allowing myself to cum doesn’t feel right either. I don’t deserve to. My mind keeps racing until he speaks.

“Are you in control, here?” he asks me, in almost a scolding tone.

“No Daddy!”

“Who is?”

“You, Sir.”

“Tell me.”

“You’re in control, Sir.”

This isn’t dirty talk for us. I know he’s realized I’m stuck in my own head, fumbling over my outburst, not sure if I ‘should’ cum or not despite having permission. I get the message. I'm not in control so I shouldn’t be worrying about it. It’s not my decision.

A few moments later I’m close and ask for permission to cum. He says yes and when I orgasm I break down sobbing. We move to cuddling and he pulls me into him a little too hard. My nose feels kinda smushed against his chest which is clammy because now the fan is blowing on what used to be sweat. His chest hair is tickling my nose and I’m clammy as he gently touches my arms and pets my sweaty hair. It’s not perfect or pretty, but I feel at home. I cry for quite a while. He asks if I’m okay. I nod and raise my eyebrows to seem enthusiastic in my answer, a little too forcefully to feel normal I guess. "that’s not very convincing.” he says, which is a little funny because I was consciously trying to convince him. It takes me a second to find words. “I just need time.” he nods and pulls me back into his chest.

Later, while we’re still cuddling in bed, he asks what happened. I’m ready to talk. I explain how I was just frustrated by his teasing at first, annoyed that he was teasing me in a way that prevented me from being able to orgasm even when he said yes. I knew it was intentional, of course he knows I can’t cum if he dramatically changes what he’s doing when I’m at the peak, but I just struggled to submit to it. Then after the outburst, my mind was stuck on whether I deserve to orgasm or not, and I was just so physically pent up too. The sobbing was physical exhaustion, being highly pent up and feeling guilty and conflicted all rolled into one, just complete emotional release.

Once we had talked it over we moved on to talking about other things or a while. I had lingering guilt.

I asked if he could tell me his perspective on it. He explains that he basically knew I was hung-up on my “ahh, damn it” outburst. I ask him how he felt about it. “I wasn’t mad. It certainly made me go a lot longer than I originally planned on teasing you for...I was making a point.” I knew all of that. I just nod and play with his chest hair. “That wasn’t a satisfactory answer for you because...?” he asks. I hate when he calls me out for pussy-footing around something. I hadn’t really asked the question I really wanted to ask, so I didn’t get the answer I needed. I try again. “I didn’t really mean to ask if it make you mad...I meant...wasn’t it...bad?” Still not literally the question I should have asked but close enough this time. “You mean do I think you should be punished for it?” His straightforward response makes me feel sheepish but I manage to nod. “I mean. I kinda know you aren’t going to because you haven’t...? I guess I’m just worried you would have...but didn’t because I started crying? I kinda feel guilty about...” He shakes his head. “No. I was never planning to punish you. You don’t get to make it into a thing. It just isn’t.”

I had to deal with a highly stressful phone call shortly after all of this, which seemed like terrible timing. Yet even an hour after the call, later I was aware of how peaceful I felt. The tears, the intense orgasm, the physical exhaustion, the stark reminder of my role, all of it put me in this warm and fuzzy subbie-high headspace somehow. He was lying down, I thought perhaps already asleep so I messaged him. I explained how calm and peaceful I felt after it all, how it was all somehow exactly what I needed. How lucky I am, and how much I like him. I didn’t actually say ‘I love you’ but when his response came back including ‘I love you too.’ it made sense.

#sccwriting #writing #amysubmits #d/s

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calumbringbackthewatermelonshirt · 7 years ago

Text

To the Ends of the Earth [FBI!Cal AU]

Day 4

“Grafitti. Who knew vandalism could save lives?” Ashton and Calum were on their way to pay a visit to the West Brooklyn Raiders, a well known gang to the FBI. Cal had made a few drug busts on some lower level members, but this time he and Ash were paying a visit to the head of their organization.

“Not the time Ash.” Cal knew that Ashton was only trying to help, trying to ease Cal’s worries just a little, but honestly, it wasn't going to help. They had been in the car for about twenty minutes, so Cal roughly estimated that they had about two or three left until they arrived. The address they had for the boss was a high rise apartment, too nice for the owner of a local pizza joint, which was the cover the gang leader maintained. Cal had actually been to the restaurant before, thought the food was actually pretty good. For a gang front.

“Alright, I get it. So what’s our angle?” Ashton removed the sunglasses from his face, squinting at his surroundings. These past few days had been the longest ones of his life. Not only was one of his closest friends fighting for her life God knows where, but his best friend was going through some intense psychological torture. Ashton got the feeling that that was what Riley wanted, though. Ashton, he got the feeling that this was never about Maggie. Maggie was just collateral damage.

“Honesty. Hardass honesty. We’re going to tell him exactly what we need, but if things go south, we start swinging.” Calum was tired of playing good cop. Honestly, Calum could use a little abusive therapy. He imagined it would feel good, so good. His knuckles splitting open more and more each time he made contact with someone’s face. Their jawbones cracking, blood welling up underneath their skin. It’s what Cal wanted, needed. God, he was desperate. But he was willing.

Cal pulled the car over and got out, slamming the car door shut abruptly. There was still another block until the apartment but he needed to get some of his pent up energy out. So he got of of the car and lit up a smoke. He had promised Maggie that he would quit, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Besides, Cal figured she would understand the stress he was under.

“Can I help you gentlemen?” The doorman stepped into Calum and Ashton’s path, effectively blocking them from entering the building.

“We’re here to see a Mister Garibaldi.” Calum threw his half finished cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out. He was insanely impatient, and this man was itching to get shoved out of the way.

“He’s not taking any visitors right now. You’re welcome to come back at a later time.” The man crossed his arms over his chest, trying to make himself look bigger than he was. Calum knew all the tricks, and he knew not to be intimidated either.

“I didn’t ask.” Calum pushed himself past the uniformed man and and opened the door into the building. From there, he and Ashton took the elevator up to the eighth floor and knocked on the door to Garibaldi’s apartment, hands on their guns.

“Steven Garibaldi, FBI, open up.” Ashton yelled out with his head down. This man was the type to deny until his dying breath, so Ashton knew that Garibaldi would open the door. Their perp wasn't afraid of a little confrontation. After a couple of minutes, Ashton heard footsteps and what sounded like a lock turning.

“What seems to be the problem officers?” Steven was a well built man, about five foot ten and a quite a few pounds of muscle. Normally he was a paranoid sort of person, but this time, judging from his calm demeanor and bloodshot eyes, Ashton was pretty sure he was high.

“We need info on some of your gang’s activity. This graffiti, who does it?” Calum shoved a photo of the graffiti into Garibaldi’s face. This was getting old fast, but the man being high? That was an interesting twist that could work in Calum’s advantage. If he was high, then it might be easier to get the necessary information out of him.

“Ah my boy Francis. Talented kid, to soft for the gang, but to soft to walk the streets alone. I took him under my wing, and now he does work for us sometimes.” Garibaldi slurred his words together as he spoke and leaned heavily against the doorway. Dunk and high. Calum thought it was a nice combination.

“Where? Where is he? Where can we find him?” Calum slipped the photo back into his pocket and stepped a bit closer to Garibaldi. Cal was trying to make the man feel pressured, make him talk faster.

“Chill man. My boy is out of town til tomorrow. Visiting family or some shit. You can find him at his apartment when he gets back tomorrow. 800 west 25th street apartment number twelve. Now, if that’s all, I am going to get back to my, uh, gardening. Got to get rid of the weed, you know.” And with that, Garibaldi turned and shut the door to his home. ||

“I must say dear, purple really is your color.” Maggie awoke to Riley standing over her, his face directly in hers.

“Really, not the red? I thought you preferred it, seeing as there's more of it than then the purple.” Maggie’s words were all slurred, a product of of her swollen lips and cheeks. Well, her swollen face would be more accurate. It had been four days and Riley hadn’t let up for a single second of any of them. In fact, she suspected that Riley had even beaten her in her sleep.

“Oh, baby, you look beautiful in any color. I have a treat for you.” Riley roughly grabbed Maggie’s face in one of his hands. Then he poured half a bottle of water near her mouth, not directly into it. He did it this way because she would get some water, but not enough. And what she did get would be tainted with her own blood.

“A present? For me? Oh your shouldn’t have.” This actually made Maggie quite nervous. Whatever Riley had gotten her, well, she suspected it would be painful for her.

“Trust me, this isn’t for you. It’s all for me.” Riley smiled sickly. Maggie felt her stomach drop at the sight. There was no way any good could come from this. But Maggie steeled her stomach and willed herself to keep up her fearless act. If there was one thing she would never give to Riley, it was the satisfaction of her fear.

“So, uh, what do I get?” Maggie forced herself to make her voice lighthearted and singsongy. Make it seem like this was all a game for her. Make it seem like this was exactly where she wanted to be.

“We are going to make a little phone call. To a certain FBI agent I’m sure you know.” Riley’s grin was ear to ear and pure evil. He was pretty much like a kid on Christmas morning, having gotten himself the ultimate present. Riley figured he’d let them have their happy moment, give him a little panic to work off of, an then end with a good old fashioned death threat. This was going to be sweet.

Maggie paled beneath her bruises. Of course she wanted to talk to Cal, to hear his voice, but why was Riley doing this? He had a burner cell, so it wasn't to disclose their location. He despised Calum, so Riley wouldn’t want to give him reassurance. No, this was some ulterior motive that Maggie just couldn’t figure out. Besides, it wasn’t like she could give them any helpful information.||

Calum was standing at the large round table with Michael, Luke, and Ashton again when his phone started blowing up in his pocket.

“Who’s that?” Michael knew he was being kind of nosy, but nobody really called Calum except the people at the table with him and Maggie. This made the call just a little suspicious to Michael, especially since Calum was a federal agent. Almost nobody had his number.

“Blocked number. That’s... not right.” Calum furrowed his brows. The FBI had set him up with this phone, and supposedly, no number could be blocked on it. Calum answered the phone, put it on speakerphone, and set it down on the table for Luke, Michael, and Ashton to listen in. “Who is this?”

There was muffled screaming on the other end of the line. Almost as if some who had duct tape over their mouth was trying to scream. This wasn't the first time Calum had heard that sound, and sadly enough, he didn’t think it would be his last. Only, something about this voice was familiar almost as if it was...

“Maggie.” Riley was crouched next to her still smiling at the phone in his hand. “I can hear your thoughts agent Hood. See, now you’re probably thinking that you’ll kill me if I hurt her. But you’re a little late on that. Did you get my present?”

“You mean the pictures? The evidence? The clues to your location?” Luke was leaning over Calum’s phone now, seeing as Calum was too torn up to speak. “Yeah we got all that. Is Maggie alive?”

“Oh for now, for now. I’m sure you’ve read my file Agent Hemmings. You should know how this will go by now.” Riley was petting Maggie’s long shiny blonde hair. He knew full and well how much she loved her hair, how she took care of it so meticulously. Maybe she was due for a haircut. But it would have have to wait. They had plenty of time.

“Let us talk to her. Let us know that she’s okay. We can get you what you want, but you’ll have to cooperate with us.” Now Ashton was speaking, calmly. He kept his voice level, trying to reason with Riley. Make Riley feel empathetic, like he was a good and caring person.

“Oh, all right. I guess you've convinced me.” There was a brutal ripping noise on the FBI’s end of the line, the sound of duct tape tearing skin.

“Hello sunshines.” Maggie tried to not sound like she was in pain, tried to sound as unconcerned as possible. If her friends wanted to find her, they would need to remain calm and focused. Keep their minds clear and level-headed. They couldn’t find her if they acted on emotions.

“Maggie.” Calum practically gasped her name out. He couldn’t breathe, the sound of the duct tape and her voice just too much.

“Wow, Hood. You must be pretty worried. And here I thought you were the most elite agent we had. Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Maggie was crying on her end of the line. But what Calum didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

“Oh, agent Hood you must be so worried.” Sarcasm and fake concern was dripping from Riley’s voice. He was enjoying this so, so much.

“Where the fuck are you, Riley? Where is my partner?” Calum was yelling now. There was so much raw feeling in his voice, anger, passion, hurt.

“Oh, all in due time Agent Hood. You should have her body returned to you in a couple weeks.” Riley was just laughing more and more.

“Her body? You do not touch her Riley. You don’t have the right.” Calum slammed his fist on the table. The fact that he had let this happen weighed heavy on his heart.

“Oops. I guess I must have slipped. Oh well. You want to hear her voice, right? Because if so, I think you’ll like this next part.” Riley then picked up where he last left off with Maggie. He was working his was down her body, having started with her head. Riley studied human anatomy every year he had been in prison, rehearsing this exact moment over and over in his head. At this point, he was working on her fingers, ripping a few of her nails off and then smashing each bone with a hammer one by one. Riley had to admit, Maggie screamed deliciously. And when the FBI agents on the other end of the line started freaking out, at least one of them crying? Well, that was just icing on the cake.

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davishater · 3 years ago

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Me: *slams a door shut* REKI! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! WE DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE! WHAT IF WE'RE HOMELESS CAUSE WE CAN'T FIND A PLACE TO LIVE!? WHAT IF WE WON'T EVER FIND A PLACE!? WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE AWAY ALL OF OUR STUFF AND THEN LIVE WITH NOTHING! WHAT DO I DO, REKI!? I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN! WHAT DO I DO! WHAT DO I DO! WHAT DO I DO!! PLEASE, I- I-

Reki: Davishater! Do what you do best. Do what you NEED to do.

Me: What I do best? You mean write?

Reki nods.

Me: th- THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP US FIND A HOUSE! THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP US PACK! THAT'S NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING BUT MAKE IT ALL WORSE FOR ME! EVERYONE'S GOING TO YELL AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WASTING PRECIOUS TIME! TH- THEY'LL BE MAD AND IT'LL ALL BE WORSE!

Reki: Davishater. Write. You're emotions are so pent up that you can't even function right now. Put all of your feelings in those amazing poems of yours. Dump everything on that page, just like you used to. Cry, scream, and then write. You KNOW you need to write a poem. Do it. Write.

I stare at Reki for a bit and then grab my phone and start writing:

Sick/ Tired/ Pain/ Aches/ Make it stop./ Let me live my life/ Let me live/ Let me breathe/ Depression is too strong/ Abandonment is the ghost that haunts me/ Don't want to leave/ Don't leave me/ Memories/ Everything was always here/ Now I'm leaving/ Being forced to abandon my home/ Leave it/ In a cloud of dust/ When I first moved/ That's when I first realized/ My life is terrible/ I'm scared/ What if I have to abandon everyone again?/ I'd rather die/ Than leave everyone here/ After all/ It amounts to the same./ Leaving/ I don't want to leave./ I'm sorry/ I'm sorry I have too./ I'm sorry/ I don't want to go./ It hurts/ The abandonment hurts/ 13 long years/ I've lived in this house./ 13 years/ I've called this place home./ 13 years/ I've tortured myself with my many mental issues./ 13 years/ I've hated and loved everyone who passed through./ And now,/ I've had many people leave me./ Leave me cause of false rumors./ Leave me cause of my obsessions./ Leave me cause they've moved off to better things./ Leave me cause I'm the one who pushed them away./ And now/ Here I am./ Leaving myself behind, too./ In a place,/ That I had always saw as a home./ A safe place./ My everything./ How dare I./ How dare I see/ A place meant to be temporary/ As a forever home./ This tortured feeling/ It's what I get./ This is what you get/ For being obsessive/ And attaching yourself to everything/ Like a parasite./ This is what you get./ Now,/ I have to detach my claws from the walls/ But how do I do that?/ How?/ Heart must be cold,/ But if it's cold,/ Then I die./ If I leave/ Then I won't have a home./ I don't think I could ever fit/ Better than in the place I'm in right now./ It hurts/ My claws are becoming dull./ The more I fight to hold on,/ They start to break./ My claws,/ If they break,/ Then I can't stick to anywhere/ Ever again./ Is that a bad thing?/ And now/ Here I am/ Being blinded by the darkness again./ I don't want to die./ I'm thankful,/ Despite my sad life,/ It's the one thing I don't want./ I know life will get better./ I know we will find a house./ I know I can be happy there, too./ I know claws can grow back./ I know that this place is damaging my soul./ I know I need a new start./ I know that I need new memories./ I know that my depression is captive here./ I know that this place is not meant to be my home./ My home,/ My soul,/ It's meant to be somewhere else,/ Far away from where I stand now.

Masterlist

#reki kyan #sk8 headcanons #sk8 reki #sk8 the infinity #sk8 drabble #sk8 the infinity reki

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avengers-nextgen · 7 years ago

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The Rise Of The Lost IV

Bianca shivered in the cold confines of her cell. The surgery had been finished but no one had bothered to provide any pain relief. The girl was stuck laying on her stomach. Any form of movement brought tears to her eyes and tugged at the fragile stitches trailing her spine.

Bianca had no idea how long she’d been unconscious for again. If it was her luck maybe a day. The soldier knew, however, that her pain would not stop Dr. Strauss from her work. There was always room for improvement, first the arm for aesthetic effect, then the spine, what else?

The grating of a lock releasing was followed by footsteps and a white lab coated individual. “We have finishing touches, my dear.”

Bianca could only grunt out a response of pitiful protest.

“To your feet soldier.” With a set of gloved hands Bianca was slung to a standing position. Pain mirroring the sensation of burning alive made her vision dot with white spots.

Bianca’s knees buckled and the doctor was forced to support most of her weight. The shuffle through dim lit hallways was slow. Spotting the same metal table as before sent a flurry of panic through the soldier, but she could not flee. Physically-it was impossible.

Swallowing the grief already settling in, Bianca followed the normal procedure. With extremely slow and gentle movements the girl stripped from her uniform. The air, cold to the skin, burned tender bits of unhealed flesh.

— — —

Bucky didn’t get far when Siyanda caught up to him. “What do you want?”

“You need tnis.” The teenager held up a small earpiece. “Chances are she is being experimented on. If you interrupt the process it could cause permanent damage. I will have to walk you through the proper procedures to make sure you both make it out alive.”

Bucky contemplated the device before plucking it from Siyanda’s fingers. “Have someone ready to evacuate us.”

“Understood.” Siyanda nodded.

“Chances are you’re going to need a good pilot.” Both of the heroes turned in surprise to see Orion dressed in a flight suit.

“You are supposed to be in the infirmary.” Siyanda scowled.

“I’m tired of being pent up.” Orion shrugged. His slender fingers tugged anxiously at leather gloves. “Besides, my uncle rocket got experimented on without his consent. I’m not letting that happen to anyone else. You tell me where I need to be and I’ll be there.”

— — —

Bucky was putting a lot of faith in two teenagers. To be honest it worried him, but there was little else to be done. Equipped with hidden weaponry the soldier set on a determined path through the New York streets.

Each second that passed was a longer opportunity for Bianca to slip through his grasp. He couldn’t explain the protective instincts flaring in him. He had hardly talked to the girl and she’d made it quite clear he was nothing more than a monster to her.

Yet, here he was. About to take on an unknown enemy by himself. Bucky supposed that no matter what, all fathers had some attachment to their children whether they’d known them forever or not. Just looking at Bianca was like looking in a mirror and he’d be damned if Bianca was subjected to torture because of his own creation as a weapon.

— — —

The armory was non threatening on the outside but underneath was a rat’s maze of systems. Getting inside wasn’t an issue-as an assassin Bucky knew every trick in the book when it came to accessing off limits places.

Beneath the armory floor (which now was a ceiling) Bucky began to traverse the cold and dank tunnels. Faint lights flickered overhead like clumsy beacons. The atmosphere was charged with tension despite the silence.

A scream shattered the air. Bucky’s first instinct was to cover his ears but his heart leapt in his throat and he began to run. Drawing the pistols from his belt his boots slammed heavily on the concrete.

A camera blinked to life as he emerged into a small chamber. Without another look the device was shot. It exploded in sparks and its guts hung out in fritzing wires. As soon as the camera died an alarm began to wail overhead.

“Looks like a party is about to happen.” Bucky grumbled. “I didn’t know they celebrated father’s day.”

Setting his jaw the soldier tore on through the next passageway. Behind him were the sounds of heavy breathing and thick soled shoes slamming on the ground in a hungry pursuit. Metal arm skimming his belt, Bucky pulled out a metallic ring and pressed the center. Tossing it backwards over his head the tunnel flashed in violent blue as electricity incapacitated the enemy. “Gotta thank Natasha for giving me a bunch of those.”

Another scream more pitiful than the last urged him forward. As Bucky rounded a corner-getting closer to the pleading cries an arm jutted outwards close lining him in the neck. If it hadn’t been on sheer adrenaline Bucky would have landed flat, but he used the backwards momentum to turn his fall into a back flip.

Without hesitation Bucky fired at the body of his attacker sending them to the ground in a pool of their own blood.

— — —

“Almost done.” Crowed the false motherly time of Doctor Strauss. Bianca wanted to scream at her that she was lying. Only the stupid muzzle wouldn’t allow it. The metallic device only allowed screams to break through on occasion.

The sound of someone rushing down the opening up ahead brought the doctor’s attention. “Ah, I see you’ve arrived with the medical equipment.”

“Like hell I have.” The voice was gruff and the doctor froze in fear. Bianca located the intruder. Bucky stood with his gun raised and a look of murder on his face. Blood was splattered across his uniform and his eyes glared angrily at the doctor. “Siyanda!”

“Copy!” Siyanda replied.

“You’re going to do everything I say doctor if you want to live.” Bucky studied the lab coated individual carefully. He could tell right away she valued herself too much to consider dying. “Tell me exactly what you’ve done.”

— — —

The process of pausing the final touches to the spinal implants was more painful than continuing on with the procedure. The doctor’s nerves made her hands shake and the retraction of pins and needles was flawed.

Each muffled and pained cry, each twitch of hurt, the labored breathing going suddenly still-it all made Bucky incredibly anxious. Was the doctor even following Siyanda’s instructions? Had Bucky relayed something wrong?

It was only when the restraints holding Bianca in place released that Bucky let out a sigh of relief. The doctor lowered the platform back down to floor level as if it were a table and Bucky was confronted with the true damage done to the girl.

Metallic ridges resembling the vertebra of a spine glinted in the low light. The metal panels shifted and moved in an identical manner to that of her arm and his. Her spine would be able to support an ungodly amount of weight and would be able to handle an unimaginable beating.

“What are your plans with her-“

“Do you know who I am?” Bucky questioned. He barely titled his head to look at the doctor and it was as if she noticed his true identity for the first time.

“Oh-oh my-“ Bucky nodded in recognition as if she’d actually said his name.

“You have two options doctor. The first, you come back with me and face legal repercussions. The second, I kill you right here and now-no one would be the wiser.” Bucky held the gun up to emphasize his point. “No one even knows this place exists.”

The doctor didn’t hesitate to select option one. Bucky scrounged up Bianca’s discarded clothes and returned to her side. She didn’t move, didn’t look at him, her eyes only stared into an emptiness he could not see. She was in shock.

Perhaps it was a mercy.

Bucky was able to dress her without her feeling an ounce of pain. He acted unknowingly like a father whose kid had fallen asleep in the car and had to be carried to bed before changing the child’s pajamas.

With ease the soldier scooped up the quivering girl covered in a light sheen of sweat. The doctor followed close behind. An anxious air radiated off of her and Bucky felt like yelling at her to cut the crap and keep it together. Instead he spoke to Siyanda, “Tell the kid to pull the jet around.”

“Copy that.” Siyanda replied in her clipped and formal tone. The receiver crackled for a moment as the signal shifted.

“I’m outside.” The boy’s voice broke in. “Make it quick. They have some big guns out here.”

“It’s an armory.” Bucky snorted. “Of course they do. Don’t worry it’s all been deactivated.”

“Yeah, I sure hope so. Otherwise I’m about to repeat my crash landing and I don’t think I’m waking up in a cushy hospital bed next to a synthetic green and red robot dad.” All Bucky could think was that Peter Parker would get an absolute kick out of this kid.

— — —

As promised, the jet was hovering tentatively outside with onlookers gawking in awe. Thankfully? They were so impressed by the machine they didn’t notice Bucky or the doctor.

The asphalt grated against the soldier’s boots and the sound was somewhat comforting-until he heard the bang. One second the doctor was walking beside him, the next she was laying on the ground with her brains blown out.

“What the hell was that?” The kid cried.

“No idea but we have to high tail it out of here.” Bucky felt some guilt at leaving the doctor there but he couldn’t risk ending up like that as well. Once safely aboard Bucky settled Bianca on the medical cot. With some general knowledge of medical equipment Bucky began to monitor her vitals. They stabilized after a few IV drips.

Orion remained quiet the rest of the way back home and Bucky didn’t mind it one bit. He sat with his hands clasped watching the poor haggard girl shake. She was curled into an extremely tight, protective ball. The fear etched on her face along with the pain made his stomach clench.

One fateful tear trailed down her cheek. Bucky reached out and his metal index finger skimmed lightly across her cheek to wipe it away.

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