#mostly satisfaction
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ITS DONE
#fuck cassandra dimitrescu#resident lover#anti cass club#cassandra dimitrescu#bela dimitrescu#bela is a street fighter?#time for pain#mostly satisfaction
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one main problem abt the view of the beatles in pop culture is they are viewed as a Rock Band and while this is certainly true to an extent they really just fucked around genre wise & so there's this cultural memory of them as a kind of tame rock band in comparison to other rock bands of the 60s/70s but they are missing the vital piece that they were also doing 1 million other genres
#like they were sort of just an Everything band#like ofc if u hold up idk martha my dear to satisfaction ur gonna come away going clearly the rolling stones were cooler#but thats just missing the pointtttt they just loved music man#but when they do rock they KILL rock like whether it's older stuff or doo wop or like helter skelter#but mostly they did a lil bit of everything and then some yk
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i keep second guessing all my takes and ideas being all boo hoo i'm going to get a bad grade in jakeology. as if i don't have peers and more importantly as if there aren't already thousands of people out there who have done it so, so much worse than i ever could
#i hope that isn't an overly spiteful way of putting it but i've been really burnt out and really demoralized for the last while!#i've given up on every art piece i've started this year even the ones that aren't tryin to communicate anything specific#there is a lot of stuff wrong with me right now#and being wrong or somehow sub optimal when it comes to fan content doesn't even matter that much and i wish i didn't care as much as i do#mostly i want to make more of the stuff i would find interesting but at this point i'd take the satisfaction of being able to complete smth#i'm trying
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i haven't explained my funger au very well outside of just posting the fic and out of context drawings but it takes place over 2 years after escaping the dungeon and it involves an ego death and forced self-care. thats why Enki is seemingly kinder and idk more normal looking?? he had a parasitic infection that nearly killed him (pregnancy parallels in the au story) in the dungeon and faced his god self, that would cause a complete ego death and total break of ones sense of self in anyone but it hit him especially hard. so Ragnvaldr took care of him, made him gradually accustomed to eating more than one meal a day, going outside at least once a week, and maintaining a healthier life style. he isnt actively dying of malnutrition so yeah he's been a bit more tempered. like taking a mostly feral stray cat and showing it love and it settles down. yeah its going to be mean and try to fight you but it just needs some patience. comfort is uncomfortable.



im not trying to "fanonize" the characters, im trying to tell a story about change
(also taking skinny miserable characters and making them fatter and happier is incredibly fun. you see an emaciated character and you yerk it to their visible bones. i see an emaciated character and i see a great opportunity. im putting them in eating disorder recovery.)
#fear and hunger#safety and satisfaction#i mostly make oc stuff so fandoms scare the absolute shit out of me#im scared that im doing it wrong and im bad at characterization#i am so ridiculously anxious about sharing anything related to this au but i try to be brave about it#fandoms are fandoms i guess#enki ankarian#im not misinterpreting him i am telling a story#enkivaldr#like i just want to share this to people who are already interested but thats just not how it works
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current events on fandom blog moment but I think one of the more relevant takeaways you can get from repcomm and the fact that a bunch of spec ops personnel shifted pretty seamlessly into papa kal's independent crime syndicate is that governments, but especially currently crumbling empires (cause let's face it the republic is well. not good at being that), rely on the classified parts of their armies to essentially act as a mafia to carry out their dirty work. I think this is doubly true during the imperial era of star wars but the republic to me will always represent the 'nobility for pr' facade of liberal democracy
#there is no special-er important-er mission for the republic's specialest boys. you are kidnapping civilians and torturing them etc etc#this point is made much more poignant by the fact that the personnel in question are mostly clone-slaves#but the real world is equally terrifying in that it's a socially acceptable career to do these things#the people who carry out this shit are not conflicted. they're waiting on their GI bill and military discount and rank promotion and#sick satisfaction. isnt that nice and mundane and horrible#txt#repcomm#oh also. triply so for the coruscant guard and all their wings of influence
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I get you about the hetero vibes of JD. Like there are CPs who act like they have been married for years and I am inclined to believe that and there are CPs who are just happy their job is to flirt with their homies and they lean into it. The latter is JD to me. Like no matter how much they would flirt, I won't believe they are actually together. I can belive they are best friends, even soulmates but not a couple
yep, exactly! i mean, JD also act like they've been married for years in a way, but as i mentioned in my other reply, it just feels like more of an inside joke and feels much more platonic than romantic
and they most definitely have fun flirting with each other. i think it's as entertaining for them as it is for us. especially for joong. i think it's a well known fact that no matter how insane you think you are about JD, you can be sure that joong is more insane about JD than you are. and i fully support him in that <3
#asks#anon#joongdunk#adrm#sometimes i have to think about that one time my bestie and i were at this weekend retreat we've been going to for years#and not everyone that shows up knows each other all that well#so going around in a circle with everyone stating their name is sth we often do on the first night#often it's your name and how many times you've been there is the common info to give#but this one year we were asked to state our favorite ''something'' of our own choice in addition to the above#originally i was gonna name my favorite animal#but then i had a better idea#everyone was listing favorite color/favorite song/favorite food etc#normal stuff you know#and then. after we'd gone through like half the people. then finally it was my turn#and i went#''my name is [airenyah] i've been here [n] times and my favorite person in this room is [bestie]''#cue the entire room awww-ing loudly#was what i said true? hell yeah#does it mean i'm in love with her? no i'm absolutely NOT in love with her#did i say that specifically bc i know she's tired of my sappy shit and i KNEW she'd roll her eyes at that? absolutely and most definitely s#(btw she DID roll her eyes and it filled me with great satisfaction)#(the entire room was going ''awwww'' and all i personally cared about was my bestie's eyeroll dfjkjkdskjd)#anyway sometimes JD's flirting has that sort of energy#where it feels like it comes from a place of truth but they're mostly just saying it bc they're waiting to see a reaction#either from each other or from the audience (or both)#but idk i might also just be projecting you know#(though i HAVE noticed that they and i feel like esp joong?? will often seek approval after saying flirty shit)#(flirty lines will sometimes be followed up with a เป็นไงล่ะ or เป็นไงๆ - ''how is it?''/''how was that?'')#(and often that's directed to the audience or the host)#(which again just kinda reinforces the notion that they are NOT dating for real)
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like obv im not a fan of Strictly Businessman William that the fandom loves for some fucking reason *coughs in a particular direction* but its like you could still do smth fun with this generao concept i feel and yet yall still dont.............. hear me out✋️ heres how the afton!businessheads and the afton!theaterboyheads can still win ,,,,
#miss bonnies puppet show.............#im conceptualizing okay. and also i need him to have a brief homoerotic one sided rivalry with edwin murray BEFORE freddys for my own#personal satisfaction and also My Timeline😋#like i want to fill williams one and a quarter year unemployment gap with something and i can tell you his ass is not patient enough to lay#low for that long after ccs death come onnnnn....... and also yknow it would he his excuse. 'im just trying to take my mind off the whole#-thing you know... i have two other kids to feed and the wifes absolutely distraught i have no choice but to step up as the man of the house#- to provide for my family......... *wipes away tear*'#but also having to wear his Clinical Depression fits is starting to have genuine adverse effects on his mood and its freaking him out#william voice i dont even want to go outside anymore if i cant dress like a little faggot............ i cant stand the way people look at me#it makes my skin crawl...... im all holed up in the basement or the studio these days and its driving me mad..!!#lol#hes bad at socializing like a normal person but william afton needs to talk to people or hell literally combust and die ik this to be true♡#i think he calls henry every so often and is like heyyyyy how are you.... doing.... haha ...... yeah.... yeah im fine. mostly. yeah chris is#doing better but shes still all choked up about the kid. we all are. but i dont want to talk about it too much... how have you been 😁 ..#pleaseeee tell me everything and anything going on with you rn im losinggg my fucking shitttt haha ....#anyways. hehr#the freddy files
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No but seriously, first year teaching P&P was a wash (it was online during covid so doesn’t count but still for the purpose of the experience), second year there was the barest flicker of life during the Pemberley scene and that was it, most kids didn’t read, third year I was teaching my first year 8th graders and they got excited around the Hunsford proposal scene (but not really before), my fourth year was kind of a back-slide they didn’t really care until Pemberley, 5th year they started waking up during Collins’ proposal, and this year the life has begun as early as Netherfield / Collins intro!
#I am maligning some individual kids who loved it and engaged with it#including one HUGE win for me which was this asshole sophomore boy who was obsessed with Darcy and then loved the book#WHO HAD AN ASSHOLE DAD WHO DISMISSED AUSTEN TO ME AS A FEMALE WRITER DURING PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCES#(can you imagine my satisfaction) (his son was hooked) (also this was the kid who said the thing about Darcy being in a bad mood because#the Wickham and Georgiana stuff happened the summer before he shows up in Hertfordshire)#and also some sweet girls who liked it#but judging it as a class experience (as I always feel compelled to do) the growth has been slow and mostly steady#and I do love it#I know I know I speak about this on here 700 million times#but I do love it#the effort I put in to not making it a girls only experience#really does pay off#teaching tag
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I. I think I'm writing fic to provide a Watsonion Reason for Mirdania's name not fitting into traditional elvish naming conventions....?
#rings of power#mirdania#i saw some stuff; my brain started to do some stuff....#mostly because Mirdania is my precious baby angel and I love her and I want the satisfaction of having her in the blorbo spinny machine#you guys know the machine im talking about right?
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Hello (:
I just read your comment on some recent shipping war post and wanted to thank you for putting it into words so well. I've scratched the surface of that fandom recently but I don't think I will delve any deeper for this exact reason. Maybe I'm too old for this, but trying to hurt real people over fictional characters just seems unnecessary. I don't think there is any need to try to justify what I like (or anyone else likes) to anyone.
Well, coming here to shake your hand and say thank you, I saw your amazing art and spent a long time just scrolling. Wow! I am absolutely in love! Keep up the wonderful work. <3
Aah, thank you so much, and I'm glad my words resonated with you, anon!! I absolutely get the hesitation at getting actively involved in fandom communities nowadays given the wider sentiments, largely of younger kids that seem to be shaping up the current landscape. It shouldn't be that way, fandom should be just a place to have fun with like minded people, but unfortunately vitriol is very easy to find in today's internet. That said, don't let that keep you from lurking! Just block any asshole that sours the mood and keep doing you, and enjoying whatever it is you like.
#asks#thank you again for the kind words!!! they're very appreciated#also i think i know what post you're talking about haha#mostly because i've only commented on the one post that's recent#but yeah#antis are gonna be buzzkills unfortunately#just ignore them and do your thing#of course its easier to ignore if you're not actively posting#if you're an artist writer or serial yapper (/affectionate) it gets a lot harder#because they might be the ones to seek you out to be nasty#but just dont engage with them dont give them the satisfaction and block anyone who can't play nice#and most of all have fun!
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Books I read in the first half of 2025
This is more or less in order. Next up is—you guessed it—Rhythm of War (Stormlight Archive book 4)!
Feel free to ask me my thoughts on any of these books; I love talking about what I read!
List under the cut
Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern
Royal Assassin by Robin Hobb
The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles
The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
Pies and Prejudice by Heather Vogel Frederick
Assassin's Quest by Robin Hobb
Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson
Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson
Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson
My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante
Dawnshard by Brandon Sanderson
The Secret of Platform 13 by Eva Ibbotson
Edgedancer by Brandon Sanderson
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir
Comfort Me with Apples by Cathrynne M. Valente
Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
The Story of a New Name by Elena Ferrante
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
Kindred by Octavia Butler
Fledgling by Octavia Butler
Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by Elena Ferrante
#daisyreads#making this for my personal satisfaction mostly#I really feel like I'm forgetting something but I can't think of it for the life of me so here we are#very Sanderson-heavy list obviously but I'm trying to actually get through Stormlight Archive properly. and it has like. appendages#some disappointments here but others that made me insane#as usual#obviously it's not quite the end of June but it's not like I'm going to finish Rhythm of War before then
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Okay, I have 'returned' from my minor Tumblr absence. I say 'returned' because I never truly properly left, as you might've noticed from the few things that I reblogged onto my main and whatnot. Part of it was just a break, but the other major part of it was... I went to a concert!!! Of one of my favorite bands that means so, so much to me.
Big tangent below that isn't very selfshippy related.
Now, I don't know how much I mention NSP on here, perhap's I have once or twice when talking about songs that I've added to my F/Os playlists, but I don't think I ever really went on anything too lengthy. And I know I've mentioned Game Grumps a few times on here as well- definitely not as much as Jerma- but One of the co-hosts of Game Grumps is the lead singer in NSP, and both NSP and Game Grumps mean a lottt to me, even if I don't mention them often. They've gotten me through a lot for a very long amount of years, ever since I was around 11~ish. Made me laugh, helped me sleep, relax, entertained me, and have said a lot of motivational and heartwarming things that have helped kept me going. Getting tickets to go see the band was nearly entirely on impulse, which is something that I don't really ever do, but this was beyond worth it. It... it felt like it reset my brain, almost. If that makes any sense. Like my brain was a computer that had been running on sleep mode ever since it first booted up and finally got restarted for the first time ever. I'm upset that I can't have the entire thing burned into my memory second by second cause it was incredible. The lights and noises were overwhelming at first and I had moments questioning if I should regrettably step away but I managed to cool myself down. It was magical, there was some crying, there still IS some crying, and probably always will be, and they did some really cool "Hey, however you identify or who you love is completely okay with us." TWRP was also there, which is a slightly longer story, but they were also brilliant. I used up a lot of my energy and tears during their songs that I didn't have any left for the songs that I actually anticipated crying over! I could go on for ages about it, but I wouldn't have chosen anything else. I actually think I needed this. It feels like I can think like...better. More clearly. I feel more relaxed about my future and spending money and just...UGH. There are the watery eyes. Maybe because I anticipated crying during some of the NSP songs it didn't hit me, but the TWRP stuff really came at me from out of left field and the little intermission dialog and..man. maaann. It was really funny as well and. I wish I could remember it forever I really really do. I never thought I would ever get to see any artists that I enjoyed live, honestly. Most of them don't tour anymore or are all UK based, and I didn't know if or when NSP would tour again, nonetheless if they would be anywhere close to me. I HAD to. And I'm glad I did.
I know this perhaps sounds like every other description expereince of someone going to a concert but.It just felt so good. To be in a room where I practically felt like I could just.. be myself. I will say the worst thing to come from all of this is just potentially slowly forgetting details and that now I will get FOMO over any and all future concerts that they ever have. Concerts aren't really my thing but that.. was magic. And inspiration and awe and. I still can't get over TWRP's songs and the little intermissions about the lead singer hyping us up over our humanly hidden potentials.
It's almost hard to listen to any of their songs now after listening to them live! My phone camera desperately needs to be cleaned so the few pictures that I got during the moment we were allowed to have phones out are really fuzzy. I got a really good spot standing at the top of some small staircases so I could see over everyone(and it was also a good spot to sit/lean against the railings). It was worth it. it was worth it all. It was worth the sleepiness and hunger and thirst and frustrations. In fact it exceeded that.
I also got to stop by an IHOP and BurgerKing and ironically I love both of those places and yet neither of them are within like an hour drive of me.
#Thank you Crowley for planting this idea into my head that quickly formed into something else.#And thank you to every other F/O that is going to be enduring my choked-up-ness over a band with a name that is moderately embarassing-#-to not intialize because of a word it contains. And also some of their funny songs follow suit in such themes.#Which normally isnt themes I indulge in at all but Ive gotten really comfortable with Game Grumps and NSP-#-so hearing those sorts of jokes get cracked from them doesn't phase me and even gets some chuckles out of me on occasion.#I know this isnt my usual selfshippy post but. This is the episode in a show where a character goes to a concert and it changes their-#-entire life. Or at least bits of who they are. Insert one or two examples here.#And there were certainly some F/O thoughts while I was there and driving there and whatnot....#Okay back to your regularly scheduled Kane posting. I remembered the bits of the storyboard posted for M.oshi Monsters movie-#-while at the hotel so I got a slight photo dump that I might do later tonight so ther is that to aniticiapte.#yeah yeah I know I went five seconds without mentioning him but considering that a convo i had earlier today with someone was-#-“What if I let myself indulge in my feelings over him and it gets worse. My feelings intensify.”#and they responded with essentially “MORE good feelings to experience? Why not indulge?”#So. I dont know how it can get worse than daily occurence for almost three months and still Heavens Forbid i think about any fraction of-#-affection betqween us or I might as well start chewing dynomite.#please dont let him be the next big thing plEASDDONTTT I AM A BLOG THAT POSTS ABOUT PIIXAR CCARRSSSSSS.#out of any character i could have struggled to tal k about why did everyone have to be so encouraging abouit it with him.#I do think that has contributed a lot. Having a lot of positive reaction and zero negative ones and so it has made me far quicker to post-#-about many thoughts that I have about him. I do feel like I have been extra posting since. he.#Whereas when I was in like. strictly Cars days I mostly posted about when the dam broke and-#-hey im getting strondeja vu this is verbatim isnt it. ive said this like fifteen times before havent i.#Hey FunnyMitten creature can you keep one post not about you. This was about a band. N.No I dont care that you also- that doesnt count.#im not adding your tag you dont get that satisfaction right now. Sorry everyone.
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My ducklings will be available Thursday, yippee
Then it is time to plant my corn, I love this time of year
#spring is here#we’re getting 6 ducklings#and I will be planting 150 corn plants of a few varieties#I’m focusing on dent corn this year I think#I’ll do a little popcorn and sweet corn as a treat#but mostly I need flour and to feed the ducks#i want to plant wheat but I know it doesn’t make sense#the input to output ratio just doesn’t make sense I should focus on my corn#but I want the satisfaction of growing wheat#we’ll see
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burnt my finger on wednesday evening. it is now saturday afternoon and the blister remains intact 🎉🥳 miracles are possible 🙏🙏🙏
#skin picking#google says to leave the blister alone which i have been doing#i know the momentary satisfaction will not outweigh the pain and possible infection if i burst it#i've never got this far before however so i don't know how the rest of the healing process goes#tbh i'm mostly looking forward to the scab i'll get to pick in a few days(? or longer?) so it's not a wholly innocent venture#but i'm taking the wins when i get them#maybe txt
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i should be given 10 million euros for doing a master's while having a job btw
#i love my classes and my professors and my boss and my job but GOD yall motherfuckers dont leave me with room to breathe at all#“dont u have the weekends to rest” ON THE WEEKENDS I GOTTA DO STUFF TOO I CANT USE MY NEW SEWING MACHINE OR DRAW OR ANIMATE OR WRITE OR READ#its okay time will pass#also im just now getting some of my tests scores and i did so well woah.... past me really did study hard for those huh.....#long term satisfaction looking kinda......#anyways thats enough for an update on here#going back to being offline mostly because life is busy but also i get to buy little treats and hang out w friends and have fun#vanya strawberry flavored#god i need to change that personal tag name thats long as shit
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i lowkey have trauma from playing sal and eve's family 'cause they were my first sims family i created, so before i had a good method to organize my cc, whenever i did my folder 99% of their house would go missing and they'd be naked, skinless and bald. after that happening to me twice i had to take a break from them 😭
#now as i decorate their home for what feels like the 900th time i am DETERMINED to keep shit mostly intact#once after high school years came out i dressed up allllll of them to my satisfaction then my game crashed#high school years fucked me up
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