#mostly to just improve little things
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Something something cringe culture is dead something something
I couldn't get this dance out of my head so i learned it and it was really fun☝️☝️
#i had to change the last bit cause 1 i have no fucking clue what they're doing with their legs there#and 2 i didn't wanna stand there awkwardly while the camera was focused on the christian kids so i watched a few different performances#and just kinda did my own thing#fun fact i have FIFTY THREE RECORDINGS of me doing this stupid dance#mostly to just improve little things#and the dance is just REALLY fun#i love the prom🙏🙏🙏#the prom#the prom musical#trent oliver#choreography#I LOVE DANCING🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#i cant tell if im any good at it but its fun and makes me happy so whatever🙏#dont mind my messy ass room
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even dogs pass the mirror test
#hello again everyone. how's it going#isat loop#in stars and time#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat#lucabyteart#isat spoilers#so. had this idea Before getting my hands on the artbook and being validated. literally have a voice note from 4:30am on the 8th where#i frantically noted down this just horrid horrid horrid caption because i'd been musing on the sasasap Dress line all day i suppose#just kind of rotating in my brain the way any kind of first time trying on new clothes for them would be .#just absolutely mental breakdown material and not one i think would be recovered from quickly. they hate being in their own skin#like. a lot? like a lot. the collateral of any kind of transfemme read was barely in my mind until it ended up relevant again while i was#actively working on this. because christ that's a bad combo. 2x different forms of body dysphoria in one. maybe even 3x somehow#plus any scenario where they get clothes is... likely gifted. something they react viciously negatively to in game and i doubt#would improve thereafter. just a veritable katamari of disgust and self-loathing#like i was mostly just thinking abt how a lot of our collective depictions of loop being alienated from their body are rather abstract#in a body horror way mostly. on account of loop being more of a metaphor than a person half the time. so i think i wanted to depict#something closer to just. a human level of body dysphoria. no focus on the whole duplicate thing just... raw disgust for the self#but with the addition of recent discussion and playing ball more with the she/her loop and transfem loop angle...#scenario of leaning into femininity to try throw off suspicion on who they are PLUS realising they might want that PLUS the party#trying to use this to bond with them PLUS body dysphoria PLUS new!gender dysphoria PLUS the usual revulsion for wanting and desire#like. that is a catastrophic combination . not coming out of that one without it getting worse for a few weeks thereafter#that's a real lash out at everyone around them and then recede in shame type breakdown. which im sure looks interesting from#the party's pov because jesus christ that touched a nerve something awful (<- they only have half the context AT BEST)#. so . there's your free scenario to ponder on if you'd want to. seeing as ive done a picture without a shitload of words on it for once#ALSO don't get smart with me in the tags about the mirror test being an absolutely ass test in most regards re: self-awareness#or that things like minnows pass it. i'm a fellow pedant dont worry. it's just that minnow doesn't really have the same ring as dog yknow?#this is supposed to be like an absolutely excruciatingly self loathing thought spoken aloud of a caption. it's pithy and cruel on purpose#and more than a little inspired by (reblogged yesterday) liminal space's 'there is no other dog. it's just you'
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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LOVE HOW THE COSPLAY TURNED OUT omggg!!! you got that outfit spot-on holy shit, and the helmet + gorget turned out so good!!!
pluto my best friend pluto thank you !! i did my best with the three bread crumbs in my brain.....
#snap chats#honestly im pretty happy with it for a first attempt ESP the gorget#i was most concerned with that and i thought of excluding it but i was like 'nay you cant just quit cause it might be hard'#and it wasnt that hard - it was prob my fave bit to make honestly#mostly just cause for the little bolts i used googly eye shells and i thought i was the smartest mfer for thinking of that#i mean i cant take all the credit i remember watching this one cosplayer use that method and i just Remembered it#i just didnt expect it to go so well....#BUT YEAH !! despite some minor things and minor improvements i would make to the thing overall#for Essentially a closet cosplay im happy... thank yall for thinking it turned out well...
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:)
#Nothing to say. A good episode. A good season.#I love Oda. I love his voice perhaps even more lol#I should look for an improvement of the video quality... To say it's 1080px mkv :/ But the latest upload on N/yaa is too heavy#The op visuals of the untold origins arc are very good. The songs are good too#Although I suppose I may just be nostalgic ahah#I like fuku/fuku... Especially this young bittersweet flavour#Fuku/fuku have so many “couple who for some reason broke up but who still love each other more than anyone else” in this episode.#What do you mean they keep calling each other.#What do you mean Fukuchi won't hesitate to help Fukuzawa even after he refused to join his group.#Mmmmhhh... One more thing#There's so much emphasis on Christianity in bsd. It makes sense for Atsushi and Dostoyevsky I suppose due to the irl authors‚ but...#Why was Oda handed a Bible in this episode? Why was Ango carrying a Bible with him in the Beast movie?#When you take into account that Christianity only makes for 1.5% of religious believers in Japan‚ it's just curious.#But maybe I'm missing something? Was Oda-author Christian too?#Then again I can really feel this wider underlying pattern which... Exceeds the characters in a way?#It's mostly details so it'd be hard to list them but... Idk.#Why was there a cross behind Kunikida when he witnessed the little child die.#🤔#That would be all. This season is very beautiful and I love Mushitarou but can't WAIT to get back to Atsushi I miss him 🥺🥺🥺#random rambles
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=3=
#i need to find a better way to shade things man i do not like how im currently doing iittt#like sometimes it works but more often than not im not satisfied.#and its 100% bc im making it too complex or too much. i want something simpler that i also do not fucking dread doing.#(<- guy who for the tenth time wants to do a shading study but still has never) ermm#its fine.... i hope artfight will help me be simpler#i just need to look at my friends that also make art and learn from them etc.#i need to try and replicate that what i like. but i dont wannaaaa#sillyposting#curse of being to stubborn to learn =3=pp#whateber.....#current big piece mostly shaded even tho im not extremely happy with it. but im even more too stubborn to try again.#grumpgrump i just wanna know how to do it without overblending etc bc im just making it harder#i knowwww harsh lines work better for shading but i cant figure it out by myselffff#(you should study you should study you should study you should study) if only there was a way to improve.... alas.#grumpgrump#that and colours. are what i want to improve on most#i like my lines! i think theyre very good! i just also want to be happy with the restt oTL......#surely what im working on will be 100% satisfactory to me when i do the little details :3 surely surely :3c#hmhmhmmm ig it doesnt matter that much anyway bc im going to be doing something new and awesome with this anyway#anyyay. i dont want to downplay my art bc i do like it and think its good. you just knowwwww how it is.#=w=b yay#if someone could send a link to directly download being-better-at-art into my brain and hands and eyes thatd be nice ^-^
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im a grown ass man and im coming up with wolf 359 ocs. dont look at me
#[head hidden in shame] ive basically conceptualized a guy#so like. the restraining bolts. they had to have tested those out beforehand to get to where they are now right#and pryce loves to play god#so ive been thinking about the possibility of goddard [and specificaly pryce] having some wetware on hand to play with#by which i mean people#and the improvement of humanity defeat of death thing#etc etc#really lends itself to a little bit of vat baby nonsense#so i was thinking about like#body parts being grown in jars and kids with mostly mechanical bulding blocks with meat and skin steched over top [just the stuff she needs#to mess with]. and then i thougt#well that would be an interesting guy#esp as a mirror to hera#a human whos too mechanical vs a machine whos too human sort of deal#and then its like well okay#whats the most interesting horrible thing that could happen to the guy down in the Lhab [tim curry frankenfurter voice]#and I think it would be really cool if it was made to test an earlier version of the restraining bolt#so the upper part of the brain is replaced by a sort of aasomvian post atronic deal#and its open for progeamming for pryce sort of like a research cows might have a stoma#so she can reach in and set parameters and see what makes what jump etc#without having to install a new bolt each time#and thats a very ai experience#and ive been picturing the effect kf that [outside of pryces interference] as a very blunt severance between what im conceptualizing as#the upper and lower consciousness#so all the lizardbrain shit [im hungry im scared im angry i want to run away im in pain] is still functional but the upstairs has no access#its all body based#and then upstairs is purely learned cognition#no access to the emotional state#it doesn't feel fear in its brain. it thinks just as well with a gun to its head as it does in an empty room. but its hands start shaking#when it smells something that reminds it of the lab
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https://www.tumblr.com/maiteo/766068197942345728/yep
Oh don’t even get me started on that Lego head twat I’ve hated him for years now. What really annoys me is the way it’s sooo obvious that the club waited for all the talk about him to go down, like that twitter user said away fans don’t even boo him no more, and fans feel more comfortable talking about him as if he’s a normal member of the squad, for them to start shoving him down our throats again and act like nothing happened. It’s so so disgusting the way they shoved his case under the carpet and weathered the storm and waited for all the noise to disappear before posting him on socials again. I wanted to link a tweet but I can’t find it but basically it was something about how for as long as he is at the club it’s like a dark sinister cloud is hanging above the club and the clubs gonna keep failing and getting humiliated as karma
im pretty sure I’ve seen the tweet you’re mentioning and it’s so true!! i’ve been done with that dark spirited spaniard for some time now & ik i’ve said it before…it’s actually insane how defensive ppl get whenever anyone points out how gross he is…
& you’re right its such a pathetic way to operate especially when they’re constantly pushing this brand of “unity” and “being one w their community” “the arsenal family” & whatnot…like none of this is applicable when this what we allow at our club?
it’s incredibly damaging that this is how clubs/individuals act during these situations bc they don’t realize how it negatively affects the culture and how the silence/no stance/defending this shit etc makes this such an endless and evil cycle…I’m so tired
#answered#a lot of things they’ve been silent abt now that I’m thinking about it….#just constant let downs tbh…the club mostly n arteta ofc but the fans let me down too#like there’s ppl who wanted to draw attention n voice their concerns w five at the club & it got little to no traction#bc ppl are more concerned w performances n rivalries n shit so any perceived threat to unravel artetas impact/the club’s improvement#is immediately shut down & heavily shunned….more shunned than the literal criminal.
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LET ME TELL YOU A TALE . . .
@lighthouseborn — an independent, headcanon heavy portrayal of 𝑯𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒚 𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓 from the iconic 𝘗��𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘯 franchise. multiverse & crossover friendly. a patchwork project treasured by Hannah since 2019.
#potc rp#age of sail rp#the little mermaid rp#god i do not know how to tag for visibility s;dfj;dlkfjg#currently wanted for treason ( sp. )#dreaming up things to say & never quite saying them ( my edit. )#''isn't this mostly the same as--'' i have had one (1) promo idea for the last four years leave me be#ain't broke don't fix!!!! just improve upon!!!!#anyway i think i've stared at this riddled with indecision for long enough here u go n;b;kna;jwerlkjsfg
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it's been almost six months now but I'm still having moments where I'm like "holy shit work is so much better now that I'm on a new team"
#amaya talks#i was mostly coasting on my old team#but i didn't realize just how bad it got#there was a point where i was the only one#working on my team#and all i did was maintenance#my pm never stood up to the business side#my manager kept telling me to 'not do x'#things got a little better once i got a new teammate#but not by much#and i had no real support to fall back on#and now on my new team#I'm doing work i really enjoy#my teammates are awesome and super supportive#my manager is very understanding about my mental health#i actually feel like I'm growing more competent#when i was stuck for so long#i care about what I'm working on#... anyway being pseudo laid off sucked ass#but in some ways it improved my life so much
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i am so sad that isuzu/rin wasn't really in the og fruits basket anime that i watched as a kid (as far as i can remember?) bc she legit would have rewired my brain chemistry
like. my little baby gay, goth middle school heart would have been OBSESSED w her on sight. even now i want half of her outfits, like just look at them
#as an adult i mostly just feel so terribly for her and hope that things improve once they break the curse :(#all of the parental neglect and abuse in this show is uh. hitting a little too close to home but i'm powering thru to find out what happens#i have cried at this show so many times already and i'm only halfway done aowifejaoijfew#tho i REALLY and TRULY fucking DESPISE the arisa/kureno relationship like wtf is even happening here???? she's a teenager 😭😭😭#ig i shouldn't be too surprised given that they were fine w writing shigure as being so creepy but y'know. still giving me major ick#dykewatching fruits basket#delete later maybe
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This show has been feuling me with motivation to improve my drawing skills and I LOVE IT
I have literally never drawn so much in a week before and not struggle to think of something let alone try to draw stuff I haven't before or don't have much skill in
Like I DREW THIS IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES

It's still scuffed ofc but it wouldve taken me like 20 minutes or longer pre-hyperfixation
IM FUCKING IMPROVING FASTER THAN I HAVE EVER BEFORE
#my art <3#art improvement#my hyperfixation#hazbin hotel#even though its mostly unrelated i wanna put it in cuz im referreing to it#my art#im so happy that i have so much motivation to work on my skills#ive been going so slowly on just improving on 2 or 3 things that i already knew how to draw#and i never had thr motivation to move onto something else#my hyperfixation may be a little bit unhealthy but it sure as *hell* (hehe) has helped me through alot of stuff#i dont think this work was awfully good i definitely couldve refined it and thought through it better#but thats up for debate#im still moderately happy with it :]#rubi's art
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nothing like a typing test to lift the spirits
#i might still not have the fucking essay half done but i just scored 118wpm qwerty on monkeytype 30 second test with 96%acc#^ btw typing tests r mostly bullshit and theyre not an accurate measure of how fast u type in practice#they often include only common/basic words and lack both punctuation and coherant word patterns#additionally it only measures how quickly you can replicate written word#when i know that personally a lot of the drag on my typing speed is composing sentences in my head or processing audio#like using stenography methods a lot of people reach speeds of 220+wpm (the average speed a person talks)#but even if i learned plover (something i have all the equipment to do but i havent sat down n done yet)#i doubt id be able to become a court stenographer or other such thing bcos of how autism slows down my audio processing#so i would need to attend to That and improve it greatly and i do not know if that is possible#and also like i have no urgent need to transcribe real-time dialogue its just an interest thing#but yknow!#anywho i probs need to practice dvorak more and get good at that before i crack into stenography#last i checked i was like 23wpm without reference if i attempted accuracy (using a typing test with punctuation and sentence structure)#which is like. dogshit. but it wont get better if i dont practice ig#okkkk from now on im going dvorak mode except for schoolwork and im not allowed 2 get mad#ok there we go i switched over yay#i'm both better and worse than i expected#muscle memory is doing so much heavy lifting re: where letters n shit are#but its still a little agonising
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STS3 like

it's been years and it's still genuinely crazy to me that the first two seasons of stranger things had this throughline where all the bad things that were happening in hawkins were directly caused by the us government and that they were excusing the awful things they were doing to their own citizens (children!) through cold war/red scare reactionism. and then in season three there was a secret russian base under the town mall.
#when it came out i didn't give too much of a shit bc i was like 13#i mean. the inconsistent character writing threw me and i thought the plot was goofy AF but i enjoyed it well enough at the time#but oh my days it was stupid as shit#sorry??? no i'm not#s4 the character writing improved but the plot was still pretty goofy. and SO bloated and drawn out OH MY WORD#i mean at least as of s4 the bad things are once again mostly caused by the US government#if u consider HNL's involvement with henry to be the reason for his... everything#(i have not seen TFS spoilers/summary nor do i give a shit abt it. sorry)#but the russians are still just the russians. just actually in russia. which does make a little more sense i guess#but did we REALLY need to go there??? to the fuckin gulag??? the demogorgon gulag???#when u think about it the demogorgon gulag is just superhell for straight people#i would have taken bigfoot in the stranger things cinematic universe over hopper's adventures in the USSR#when i was doing ET theorising i mainly stuck to byler shit and did not delve into plot predictions#and the reason for that is simply I Don't Wanna Think About It Too Hard Or It'll All Fall Apart#Because It Has The Structural Integrity Of An Emaciated Jenga Tower#its been like half a year since i participated in the fandom i think i can break my silence lmao#i'm secretly a little hater <///3
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I'm so sick of the only people in my life being selfish toxic unreasonable hypocritical assholes who don't understand boundaries and have no respect for them & who punish you/retaliate against you for daring to say no to something they want.
#yes i am talking about my family here#well. mostly my twin and my mom. my little sister USUALLY isn't like that#(but she CAN be occasionally. not as bad tho nor as often)#but legit they are the ONLY people in my life (other than the 1 online friend I have. I don't have any irl friends)#if I could get my own house & make some irl friends I think just those 2 things alone would have such a HUGE improvement in my life#i'd be able to separate myself from my family more and not have to put up with their shit as much#and I'd be able to spend time with people who DON'T hate me and treat me like shit which would be a big change ngl#beth posts
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Bloody Hearts Bingo Day 23
Prompt: Whump, Ooh La La | Whisper dirty secrets while I'm pulling on your hair, poison in our veins but we don't even care
It was times like this, Uryuu thought, that reminded him why he loved learning. The chance to master new skills, to understand more and experience the feeling of every piece snapping into place, of complexity spiralling outwards in perfect patterns- it was intoxicating, brilliant, and he knew he'd never get enough of it.
Kisuke (he'd demanded they use his name or a nickname when not in the field) stood behind him, adjusting his position every time he shifted out of it and murmuring a string of instructions in his ear. He'd insisted that they help him in the more complex workings, ensuring that they knew each other inside and out and allowing the practice of skills that might have needed an awful lot of work to refine otherwise.
Uryuu had picked his specialization quickly- the physical side of things reminded him too much of Ryuuken's demands that he study medicine, so while he'd picked up enough to be a passable battlefield medic, he'd thrown himself into the metaphysical side of things with a passion.
"Careful, Uryuu-kun," Urahara murmured, directing his head with a casual tug on his hair, "you wouldn't want our dear Ichigo-kun to have to deal with snags, now, would you?" Uryuu suppressed a shudder and smoothed out another set of snarls in the power that ran all through Ichigo's body. It took time to detangle the horrific mess of three disparate beings' natures shoved into a single vessel, but the work had proven a great benefit.
Uryuu pulled back, finished with the section, and Orihime's power flickered, sealing up the small physical wound necessary as Uryuu bent a single flicker of Ichigo's reiatsu to split open his skin in another spot. Fine threads of power reached into the hole, pulling out the knots of power and tugging here and there for Uryuu to work. Occasionally, the IV still in his arm tugged, reminding him of his presence, but he dismissed it easily- it was as close as it could be, and the limit was a good reminder to pace himself, move slowly and steadily and not rush things. This was not the first time he'd helped peel Ichigo open to help him mend things and it wouldn't be the last.
It wasn't the first time he'd hurt one of his friends to help them, either- Orihime had taken her turn learning as they carefully cleaned out the crystal growth in his arms- this time Orihime did most of the work, Ichigo providing a steady flow of Hollow-tinged power as Uryuu slipped his threads past skin into flesh to ensure there were no empty spaces, needles nudging things into place and shaving off the slight protrusions that lingered on bones. He now laid in the recovery room, waiting for the anesthesia to run its course.
Kisuke's hands shifted, lifting one arm and tucking the other slightly inwards. Uryuu let him move him, more focused on a tricky knot- it was a delicate balance, made only possible by the way the Quincy power and Hollow power seemed to be trying to cooperate, though frequently he had to tug thin filaments of Shinigami power to let the two coexist for long enough not to destroy each other.
Uryuu let the song that had been stuck in his head slip out, humming quietly as he kept working. Orihime picked up the tune, humming in harmony, and they continued their work. Some of it was more darning than anything, weaving threads of power into place to reinforce weak patches till they could heal. Some of it was mending, repairing the parts where opposing forces had ripped each other to shreds. All of it would ensure that Ichigo was stronger than ever, and for the protection of his friends Uryuu would do far more.
#ishida uryuu#bloody hearts bingo#four little lab rats#bleach#urahara kisuke#inoue orihime#some technical stuff for the gang!#i always wanted uryuu to do more with ransotengai#and so now he can#it's not a perfect fix#it takes many sessions of work#and ichigo is doing his own work on the inside of things helping things balance and stay safe#chad gets the crystals cleaned out#and he gets treatment for microfractures#orihime gets more power and help sorting out her adaptions#including some improvements kisuke has planned to thwart then-traditional weaknesses of dragons#and uryuu is getting his hollow resistance massively buffed#also the iv is mostly just nutrient solution#all that growth and change takes fuel#but if there was stuff in there uryuu wouldn't care#ichigo is the face of their group#the blinding sun- his own hybrid impossibility#uryuu on the other hand is going to be urahara's counterpart#there's gonna be even more puppet symbolism#orihime and chad are unpredictable unmappable and thus much much harder to stop
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