#mr. crouch

[dragoneyes613]

In retrospect someone at the Ministry should really have noticed at some point that an eighteen-year-old just out of Hogwarts was basically running an entire department by himself while his boss was absent indefinitely.

[mudkip-enthusiast18]

mrs crouch *holding up a pornmag she found in barty’s room*: how do you feel about having owned this type of magazine?

barty: ………… ASHAMED! 😌

mrs crouch: do you have anything you want to say to women for having owned this offensive magazine?

barty: I’m sorry women 💔💔💔

[mywifeisaworm]

Headcanon

Barty's mum was young.

Anne was young when she got pregnant, too young, some said, when she met Bartemius Crouch. But he was well educated, proper, and shared her love for photography.

The marriage between Anne Fawley and Barty Crouch, later dubbed Senior as to not be confused with his son, was one of the fastest upper class wizarding society had seen.

He loved Anne more than life itself and promised to care for her and her boy as if he were his own. Bartemius kept his promise.

But as the years went by, he found it hard to live with the lie. Hard to look at the boy he knew wasn't his. So he delved into work. Earn, provide, and elevate himself while he was at it.

And when everything was at its darkest, dark forces demanding him to be ruthless, make the impossible sacrifices, he would sometimes look at that photo he took of them, summer of 1963.

Back when he was still full of promises.

Illustration from evan rosier and the unbearable weight of his own decisions

[cheeseypoato]

My personal opinion. I’m scared of the backlash.

[callmesel]

I wonder is there is any fic about Percy getting a trial after Crouch Sr's death because I just can't fathom that no one was like "oh, I wonder what happen to Percy after they discovered his boss death when he was literally the only one in contact with him all the time"

[stxrrnightjxr]

I just feel like Barty’s mother is definitely a ‘boy-mom.’

(I hc her name as Maria because Maria Crouch? It just fits and I feel like she looks like a Maria even though I don’t even know what she looks like 💀)

Because there’s no doubt that Maria Crouch loves her son. Just in the obsessive, in-no-way-healthy way like, ‘My husband barely cares for me, and you’re his son, so you’re his substitute.’

She doesn’t stop Crouch Sr. When he hits Barty, or curses him with curses she’s heard are awful, because she’s so convinced that it’s for Barty’s own good. ‘He’s not obedient, dear,’ Bartemius would tell her, and she’d believe him- she’d been raised that way, to be a perfect little pureblood wife. She’s so deep in this that she has absolutely no clue that it’s wrong, and Barty, for the first eleven years of his life, doesn’t doubt it either.

His mother never hits him, so he loves her.

He just decides to cut out the part where she doesn’t stop his father, because ‘she must be too busy,’ or ‘she must not hear me screaming.’

I feel like Mrs. Crouch’s character is barely ever explored- she’s not like Walburga, but she’s surely far from Euphemia.

I feel like she’s the kind of woman who thinks she’s doing good because what she’s doing is the only thing she’s ever done, or ever seen done. So she loves her son, but that ‘love’ isn’t really ‘love,’ it’s just what she’s been told it is.

[morsmortish]

my tag about barty killing his father and ‘becoming’ his mother…is there anything more intimate than taking someone’s shape? the trust and understanding and connection involved in that is just so so so profound! but also the darker, freudian ideas? the intensity of their relationship surpassing the boundaries of mother and son, even of lovers? ‘secret third thing’ ↤ what is that if not literally occupying the physical space of another being entirely. the mind and body of two individuals fusing into one entity. the lines are completely blurred. it’s inexpressible and incredible.

[rorydrawsandwrites]

I just noticed that his wand is a remote

He is too silly

[katakosmos]

Morning irene. I had thoughts. These thoughts include age gap Evan. I understand him to be a pretty vain type of man so now imagine him starting to bald as it tends to happen with age. And, at first, he'd deny it. Every time Pandora points it out he's brushing it off with a tight-lipped smile only to run to a mirror when no one's looking and frantically check the crown of his head for any missing hair, which works for a while because it's not that bad and, surely, just the light hitting him at the wrong angle. But, then, Barty joins in on it. "Oh, Evan your head is so smooth 😍. I love scratching your bald spots." - and Evan is about to combust, because Barty, of course, would notice. And, of course, he'd rub salt in the wound every time he can. Evan doesn't know if he wants to kill him or, for some reason, aggressively make out with him.

omg yes! he's so balding 😭😭 and as soon as someone points it out to him, it becomes that tiny invisible detail that worries him enormously. his receding hairline is still hidden, from a distance you can't even tell that his hair is getting thinner and thinner, but he's terrified that someone (barty) will notice. and, as you said, of course barty notices.

it's so awkward. barty loves to remind evan of their age difference, and evan hates it (sometimes. other times it turns him on), not because it feels wrong, but because evan doesn't want to remember that he's getting old. in his soul, he still feels like a thirty-year-old like barty. and instead 19 years have already passed since those golden times... brrrrr.

the most humiliating thing is not even barty's constant teasing, evan can take that, but the fact that barty starts to behave with him more cautiously. the rough sex becomes just fast and dirty. before doing anything, barty watches evan as if to make sure he's okay, and after each fuck he asks him if he's sore somewhere. it's horrible: evan realizes that he's no longer barty's older boyfriend, he's the old boyfriend.

one day, while fucking evan, instead of pulling his hair (evan LOVES that), barty leaned in close to his ear and asked: "are you sure this is a good idea? i don't want to make your receding hairline worse". and it was so humiliating that evan just fell on the bed and buried his face in the mattress. he shed a tear, he has to admit. and not because the way barty was fucking him was just too good.

[foursaints]

saints I’ve been having fun learning more about you the sleepover asks were all so fun and lovely but would you entertain a return to the psychosexual analysis of fictional characters? anything that’s been on your mind?

oh i had just been waiting for someone to say the word.. i will probably expand on this later! but i've been thinking about barty's story as analogous to Christ's Side Wound. as in, he is a christlike figure who is Feminized Through Violence

i've been reckoning a lot with HP as a bioessentialist narrative in light of jkr's views. obviously this is bad but the way gender is enforced textually is so fascinating to me BECAUSE of how warped it is (ex. how women in HP can either be Mothers or Evil). barty's entire characterization is wrapped in traditionally masculine themes of power & violence & domination. i would say his entire character in-text is just one long Assertion of Control .... but that's really compelling to me because it's ultimately fruitless?

for a character w/ these traits (allegedly manipulative, cruel, dominating, etc) he spends the majority of his time forced into some form of bondage or constraint, being passed around the hands of powerful men. his devotion to voldemort reads really submissively and almost erotically ("my master"). and then there's the whole thing where he quite literally switches places with his mother (taking on her Body), both occupying matching roles under his father's control?

he's literally a fucked up Girlboy Manwoman. it's so insane to me. even the repeated admonishment of "Master Barty, you bad boy!" from winky contains this double entendre where he's BOTH a violent, overpowering, domineering male figure & this emasculated, penetrated, porous boydaughterservantwife who is scolded like a child. he's jkr's ill-formed caricature of male violence forced to assume the role of Battered Woman over & over. i need to marry him so bad it makes me look stupid

[whatonearthisgoingon]

Since I'm obsessing over musicals and musical songs-

"Beautiful" from Heathers.

(For reference, I have not yet watched the full musical Heathers; this is just from listening to the song/watching the scene, without knowing about the characters per the whole movie.)

Snape = Veronica

James = Ram

Peter = Kurt

Lily = Martha

Evan/Narcissa = Heather McNamara

Barty/Lucius = Heather Duke

Regulus/Bellatrix= Heather Chandler

Filch = Ms. Fleming

Au kind of like canon where Snape hangs out with the influential Pureblood families. In the canon, it says Snape hung out with Avery, Mulciber, the Lestranges, Bellatrix, Evan Rosier, and Wilkes, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch either way.

So Snape, like Veronica, get's adopted by the Heathers, either version of the Slytherin trio, your pick.

So, am I cooking, or nah?

[risetherivermoon]

barty is a mamas boy with major daddy issues *drops mic*

[moonytoasted]

ok so ms(evelyn, zoya, whatever) zabini had 7 husbands who all died mysteriously and left her with a large fortune and you're telling me her and barty wouldn't've been friends?

[lemongrass77777-moved]

Marauders era characters’s social media handles

(Regulus not included bcuz I don’t think he’d have any socials)

James: @/prongedbastard69

Sirius: @/grimdog-baredteeth

Remus: @/r-full-of-wanderlust

Peter: @/rattack-the-cheese

Lily: @/ungilded-lily

Severus: @/halfbloodprince666

Mulciber: @/butcheredtongue44

Kingsley: @/roundtableofaurum

Mary: @/rosyquarts59

Hestia: @/jone-of-archs

Marlene: @/firecracking-beats

Dorcas: @/disciple-of-sappho

Caradoc: @/darnedwitches-55

Emmeline: @/monarch-o-valor

Pandora: @/mysterious-wench1111

Xenophilius: @/stranger-of-the-stars1111

Barty Jr: @/controlofthemind420

Rabastan: @/bjc-s-boy

(I included way too many characters in this)

[mynotetrash]

I am oft given to revisit the tale of Harry Potter, once every six moons or thereabouts, and with each return, I am reminded anew why, since the tender age of eight winters, I have borne a deep and lasting loathing for the house of Gryffindor. 🙎🏾‍♀️

I am sorely vexed each time, truly, for they are glazed o’er with such false superiority that it doth pierce mine heart with ceaseless irritation. Whenever their mirth doth shine, a tide of loathing and despair, pure torment of the soul doth wash o’er me. They resemble that younger sibling, who doth commit a legion of misdeeds yet escapes all rebuke; but when I, the elder, should but once err, lo, a grievous tempest doth arise and all do cry foul upon me. All those gifted with promise have been cruelly butchered to feed some wretched house of losers, filled with feckless folk and painted smiles. I despise only: Gryffindor’s folly BUT not; Slytherin’s deceit, Ravenclaw’s hollow pride; yea, even Hufflepuff might rise if but it were not for that accursed house of purest falsehood and foulest BS. Truly, ‘tis a lament fit for a bard if only someone would pen a ballad for my misery!

Oh, and let it be known: may James Potter be thrice cursed, (oh wait) and with him his hirsute companion, his rotund rodent, and that tall, dark haired knave handsome though he be who first did awaken mine accursed taste in men.

#TEAM SNAPE #ANTI GRYFFINDOR #GRASS IS GREEN GRASS IS GOOD

[hchollym]

More Percy Weasley Memes