#mutated or not eheheh

[beefy-the-stronk]

*drops these oldish Daneigh doodles*

I love them they make me happy eee

(Psst also that tiny drunk dan doodle is from @acmeearts)

[dying-marshmallo]

Need more sharp teeth Leo ehehehe

(only if u wanna tho)

☆ i'm too tired to draw anything related to it anymore (mostly cause me and my wife have this habit of making one off au's and then never doing anything with it again) but uhh, info wise.

☆ Leo ends up going from omnivore to carnivore after his second mutation, he's mutated with snake and shark (teeth are shark like, jaw is snake) anyway, he keeps eating a bunch of raw meats cause he's always hungry and then he ends up being like man, nothing is like satisfying my hunger.

☆ Donnie walks in

☆ ...i'm going to eat him.

☆ cue classic "to eat or not to eat" dilemma cause he really doesnt want to hurt donnie but oh my GOD he's STARVING!!!!! And a part of his brain is CONVINCED Donnie can totally fill the void in the pit of his stomach. He's reasonable enough to know that it would only be a temporary fix though. Kind of.

[batratcatman]

Reality Warp

Mikan, but her patients are slim girls who she fattens more and more...

“O-Oh? Discharging? Well, n-not yet. I know you’re worried about your friend, but even if the broken leg has healed, it’s, ah, had an unprecedented mutation! Y-Yes! The painkillers cause a-a gastric change! She’s being kept until we can get her back to four digit numbers at least. Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be out soon!”

“Eh..Eheheh…It’s time for snacks everyone! You’ve been so patient with checkups, you all get extra helpings! Remember, this is all for your own good…”

[angelpuns]

Drop the HME Splinter lore! The spectrum of Splinters, even in canon, is always so fascinating to me. Is yours Hamato Yoshi or someone else? Is he closer to a teacher or a father to the turtles? How involved/aware is he of their shenanigans?

Ehehehe I'm pleasantly surprised that people wanna hear about him :3

He's definitely not Hamato Yoshi, I'm not sure what his name was before just yet. I should preface with for this iteration he was a white man before mutating because of the nature of the iteration ( that its based a lot on my own childhood and I am white, not to mention not wanting to make another Splinter that's a caricature :( )

He's definitely more of a father, just not a very...good one. He is a very nervous parent and sheltered them a lot when they were super super young. Since he doesn't really believe in their privacy he definitely knows alllll about their shenanigans.

I think he only taught them how to fight because he did try to go back to the surface once and Mikey ended up getting hurt ( not too badly, but still ).

He definitely is way more involved in their lives/shenanigans than they would like.

Sorry this is one of those answers that I wanna put a positive spin on it and say they're a lil happy sweet family but his overprotectiveness has evolved to create a rift :(

[skinandscales-if]

In relation to the ask about shapeshifting.. similarly like some people can’t spit fire, are there people who have issues shifting back and forth? Or maybe can’t shift into their dragon form at all?

ehehehe :) you hit the question dead on, huh?

Not for the general populace, no. Dragon features will always show in an individual no matter what, even if it’s subtle, and some shifters have some issue figuring things out at a young age, but shifting comes pretty naturally for everyone. Individual struggle varies, of course.

For a rare few however, they are born with a mutation that makes them unable to shift between these two forms, born with traits equal amounts human and dragon. These few are known as Evershifted, and though this particular form is very uncommon, I’d keep an eye out 👀 the city is large and there’s plenty of colorful people to meet

[wermie-real]

Headcanons pls. Any character >:'3

oooohh eheheh ik you probably asked forever ago but

Hunter!!!

Hunters been my fav forever so I wanna put this here!! TOH SPOILERS AHEAD!!

So you know how Belos uses the Bone of Ortet, or a bone from his dead brother to create a grimwalker? So that was literally 400 YEARS AGO, so I think that damage to the bone and / or chemical preservation would damage the tissues in the bone, which multiply and all that to finish off the grimwalker creation.

So damage comes to mutations, so that'd probably where some of the differences between the Golden Guards and Caleb are! Ofc, that'll definitely mess with organ systems, including reproductive. That brings my fun hc, that all the Grimwalkers are likely intersex, and definitely including Hunter. (I use they/them on Hunter bc of that!!)

Hunter just seems so non-conforming to any standards, plus, without the short hair from the beginning of Thanks to Them, they'd probably look androgynous. get it hunter

And there you go lol!!

[insipid-drivel]

When you're talking about raw eggs, it's literally about a major mutation within the salmonella bacteria itself that occurred very, VERY recently.

It used to be that salmonella couldn't survive inside of a chicken's reproductive tract; too hot, too little air, and (usually) in a constant state of passing eggs, which naturally pushed any invading germs out. The eggs leave the hen with a protective, waxy layer that further keeps the egg protected from bacterial invasion and other contaminants (in the US, we wash that layer off).

It was in the 1960's that the salmonella bacteria itself evolved in concert with the rise of overfarming and inhumane chicken and egg farming practices, such as overcrowding in total cover with no access to outside, that the bacteria was able to evolve to survive inside of a chicken's reproductive tract, enter into the still-forming, soft egg in the hen's body, and form a bacterial colony within the albumen and yolk before the egg is fully solidified and laid.

That's how you get an egg that's naturally carrying salmonella and can make you sick, unless it's been cooked or pasteurized. A lot of cookie dough brands warned us not to eat raw cookie dough to avoid incurring the costs of installing pasteurization facilities, or buying in pre-pasteurized eggs, to save on costs when the CDC and FDA confirmed the mutated salmonella risk wasn't going to go away.

Now, so many of us have flagrantly (and deliciously) ignored the "do not eat raw" warnings that many premade cookie dough brands had to reluctantly shell out (eheheh) the cash to just make their dough with pasteurized eggs, because it's less expensive to upgrade your facilities than deal with non-stop civil lawsuits from people who got salmonella from eating your raw cookie dough that had nothing but a tiny "don't eat raw" warning label on it.

Told all my life that raw chicken = salmonella poisoning like that's just natural but no, it's just because it's not something food companies are legally required to control at their end and America is only NOW considering classifying it as a "contaminant?!" Meaning it would become a violation of federal law to sell meat with any detectable presence of it?? We could have fucking done that all along???

[reanimatestar]

guy who is extremely normal about being a mutant <3

[image description: two uncoloured pencil drawings of val-r-ssr-3 (shortened to val), the artist’s troubleshooter for paranoia: red clearance. they have short wavy hair and several moles on their face, and is wearing a jumpsuit. the first is in a simplistic style, depicting him looking downwards in horror. in the second, she is looking at the viewer with trails coming out of her eyes, smiling calmly. text reads: “You should kill yourself... NOW!” /end description]

[mochiwrites]

Hello Mochi pls tell me like… whatever you’d be willing to share about songbird vampire lore? Their culture their biology etc? :D

EHEHEHE YES ABSOLUTELY.

oh my god okay, void I need to preface to you that I have a whole document of world building lore ( belle has seen it and their reaction to it was :chefs kiss: )

ALRIGHT. SONGBIRD VAMPIRES. this will probably be in a fic at some pointish?? but I'm never quite sure what details will Exactly go in and what won't. so lore dump time! I'm gonna put it all under a read more

okay, let's first talk about how vampires were even created. and this kinda gets more into like, general songbird supernatural lore anyways.

all supernaturals were originally human. but something happened, and a few humans were mutated (let it be known that the world is magical. there is innate magic in the world and little pockets of magic that can be nurtured in full on realms. but that magic is all latent in the beginning) and those mutations brought about the beginning of creatures like werewolves and vampires. it all depends on whatever the mutated humans were hit with. if they were mutated by magic, chances are they'd become the first fae, or other creatures that feed on magic and stuff.

so we have that vampires came from humans but like. their development was shifted wildly to the left.

great, wonderful okay. I think their evolution to the current day vampires were absolutely slow, it probably started off with them feeding from animals for blood and as their magic grew in strength, animals weren't enough so they moved on to people. etc, etc. we know how evolution works here.

eventually we hit a point where vampires stop evolving, and they're our favorite little bloodsuckers that we all know and love <3

so the biggest thing about vampires in songbird is that they're top of the food chain. like, out of every supernatural, vampires hold the most power. they're the ones in charge, that's why it's called the vampire council, not smth like the council of supernaturals. each species may have their own inner governing and hierarchy, but ultimately, everyone answers to the vampire council.

and fun fact! okay wait, pause on the fun fact. first. I am a big european history nerd okay. I love learning about europe's history and everything and OUGH. right, okay. preface over, back to the fun fact (you'll see why I mention this)

so fun fact! the vampire council wasn't created until like. the middle of the eighteenth century??? so about the middle/nearing the end of the enlightenment era. long story short, there was a lot of in fighting with the supernaturals, as at the time they had a system similar to a monarchy, but as we know from humans, the enlightenment was a time of humanism and philosophy and dismantling the monarchies that ruled them. in that regard, we can Specifically look at the french revolution (my favorite history topic btw) where the french quite literally overthrew king louis and queen marie antoinette.

the humans enlightenment era kind of rubbed off on the supernatural population, and it had them thinking. but that's all I'll say for now <3

with vampires being at the top of the food chain, naturally they ended up being the ones in power, hence the vampire council. Most supernaturals are alright with this, but there are some that are... less than pleased.

that's pretty much the Full backstory of songbird vampires. as for lil quirks they have, we know from mumbo and grian's discussion that vampires can actually go out in the daylight! they just need some kind of coverage to protect them from the sun. we Also know that they have magic, and we've seen from mumbo and jrum that vampires can all have different abilities.

though there's maybe like one or two abilities that they all have??? compulsion is one of them, as we saw with mumbo. and then ofc there's also the increased strength, sight, hearing, etc etc

we do also have a clan/coven system! there's 13 clans of vampires, the leader of each clan being a member of the vampire council. each clan can be broken up into smaller subgroups, that's the covens. I'll leave other details hush hush since I know when they'll be explained <3

there's also a super fun fact that all vampires are just chronic insomniacs FJFHFJG. back before the council was established, it used to be that vampires slept during the day and were awake at night. however, when you're in an ongoing fight against another supernatural (whether it be person or big group) your sleeping habits change in case of a surprise attack. and so the whole sleeping during the day thing sort of just fizzled out, and younger vampires have really wonky sleep schedules.

aaaaand then we've got thralls. ohhhh thralls are Fun in songbird. so. thralls here aren't just humans. they can be other vampires or other supernaturals. all it takes is drinking blood from that same vampire a few times, a blood bond. except the way thralls are Specifically played here is they're sort of in the this in-between state of humanoid and vampire. they have the looks of a human, yet all they have keeping them going are the characteristics of a vampire, the instincts.

thralls in songbird are humanoid creatures who don't speak, act human, but are led purely by their bloodthirsty instinct. throw in that extreme desire and loyalty to their vampire, and you have the perfect puppet. also the fun thing is rather than the classic two fangs, you've got thralls who have a full set of pointy teeth. fangs. a full mouth of fangs. and they're driven by a more... animalistic instinct, I guess?

sooooo yeah. songbird vampire lore dump!!! :D

[purplerose244]

Me telling my boyfriend stuff about the Arcane LoL series Part 2

Here's the first one

Since I had fun writing the other, people seemed to have fun reading it and I had a pretty long phone call with my BF yesterdat about the following three episodes of Arcane that keeps being amazing... WHY THE HECK NOT 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Here goes! 😊

***

Me: Do you remember where we were at?

Boyfriend: Yeah I'm good, no need for recap

Me: Well now there is a time skip of a few years and the new episode takes place at an Expo like situation in Piltover called Day of Progress

Boyfriend: ...

Boyfriend: That's a stupid name

***

(Cue him stating that it is a stupid name every time I mention it 😂)

***

Me: First time Jinx!

Boyfriend: Baby!

Me: No no, she's like a teen now I think?

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: Grown up baby!

***

Me: She kinda freaks the freak out when she sees this girl with pink hair, so one thing led to another and... she kills her

Boyfriend: What

Boyfriend: But

Boyfriend: Murder is illegal

Me:

Me: WHAT

Me: IN THE LOL UNIVERSE TOO

Boyfriend: YE

Me: OMG

Boyfriend: I KNOW

***

(yeah we act dumb like that 😅)

***

Me: Are there, like, tiny fluffy creatures into the League of Legends universe? I saw one walking around, very adorable

Boyfriend: ?

Boyfriend: You know Heimerdinger already

Me: No no, smaller and white-

Boyfriend: AAHH

Boyfriend: THEY PUT THE POROS

Boyfriend: THE TONGUE

Me: THE TONGUE

Me: I WANT ONE

Boyfriend: THEY EXPLODE INTO MORE POROS IF YOU GIVE THEM TOO MANY COOKIES

Me: I WANT ONE HARDER

Me: Viktor almost hit one with a laser

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: HOW DARE HE

***

Me: Jayce and Viktor want to present their new invention at the speech given to the people of Piltover but professor Heimerdinger is against it since it doesn't seem safe

Boyfriend: Doesn't he remember what happened last time he asked Jayce not to do something?

Me: You don't have all the facts

Boyfriend: Which are?

Me: He actually listens this time

Boyfriend: *surprised pikachu noises*

***

Boyfriend: I know nothing about these new episodes except that there is one very nice gay shit scene happening apparently?

Me: Eheheh

Me: One?

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: WELL OKAY

***

Me: Basically to show that she's worthy of being in Silco's team Jinx decides to make a building explode

Boyfriend: Yeah that sounds like something Jinx would do

Me: Also she's having the occasional PTSD hitting hard and probable schizophrenic moments along the way

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: Yeah that sounds like something Jinx would have

***

Me: Caitlyn goes to the prison to speak with the witness of the latest crime, only to discover he got his jaw smashed during an assault

Me: From another prisoner

Me: Who seems to hate the people of that gang

Boyfriend:

Me:

Boyfriend(laughs): Well gee, I think I might have a theory on this one

***

Me: Vi is so cool

Boyfriend: Vi is so cool

Me: Blah blah look at my robot arm

Me: Blah blah you've never learned patience

Me: WHO NEEDS PATIENCE WHEN YOU'RE FREAKING VI

***

Me: Ah, she also calls Caitlyn cupcake!

Boyfriend: Lol actually in the game Caitlyn has a move where she puts a cupcake onto a bear trap on the ground

Boyfriend: I doubt it's a reference

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: I'm taking it as a reference

***

Me:

Boyfriend:

Me:

Boyfriend: ... you found out about Viktor bein-

Me(crying): YES I FOUND OUT ABOUT VIKTOR BEING TERMINALLY ILL AND YOU FREAKING KNEW IT

Boyfriend: What did you expec-

Me(crying): HOW COULD YOU

Boyfriend: Everyone knows in the fand-

Me(crying): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

***

Me: Heimerdinger is forced to retire

Boyfriend: Nooooooo

Me: Huh

Me: I expected a bigger reaction

Boyfriend: I like him and I'm sad for him... but when I used to play he was kind of a pain to be against with so yeah, we kinda have bad history him and me

Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: Poor professor Fluffy though

Me: Poor professor Fluffy indeed

***

Me: So Viktor decides to get help and goes back to that one dude he knew from his childhood, one that studied mutations

Boyfriend: ... mutations?

Me: Ye?

Boyfriend: The guy's bald?

Me: Ye?

Boyfriend: One white eye?

Me: Ye?

Boyfriend(inhales): Oh boy, here he comes.

Me: ... ye?

[goldenguillotines]

OMG what? Rude... did they wanna hurt you? If they tried to hurt you imma go punch them! (｀-´ )>

But thank you for letting me touch em... they're so pretty... just like you eheheh

DOES THE GENTLEST OF TOUCHES

"Clearly. I'm fine."

"Some trolls don't appreciate the 'mutations' of mine. I showed 'em some divine judgment fer betrayin' my trust."

".. Along with tryin' to practically poach me fer my feathers.""

-> You get to touch his feathers, his tails jerk out of your touch at first.. but hey. Now you can investigate. They're surprisingly smooth. Absolutely cool to the touch.. and are wonderfully healthy.

".. and no. You can't have any of my feathers. Even if I molt."

[kaiju-krew]

Holy SHIT, that Destroyah. What would it's origin story be for the Monsterverse, anyways?

Eheheh -w- Welllllll, they used the Oxygen Destroyer in KOTM, and it’s been a few years since then in-universe. So they could say while it killed most of the aquafauna, some of the local crustacean population survived (maybe Copeods if they wanna stick with them being really small, and not like, crabs) but have begun mutating, Monarch tries to control their growth but it gets outta hand real fast.  But also, ignore all of this entirely, I don’t want Destoroyah in the Monsterverse because I know where that leads and I vehemently refuse to watch LegendGoji or his kid die.

[pop-goes-the-clown]

Isaac? I didn't call you Isaac, who is this Isaac you're talking about? You must have heard wrong eheheh! Eheh...

(He is lying, you can tell without hesitation,

Even his smile is having a mutation,

Struggling to even give you a nickname,

The memories starts to return with THAT old name)

[pokeprism]

Altered End Chapter 1 (Prologue)

The seventh human has fallen down two days ago. The human, Frisk, has made it through the Ruins, Snowdin, Waterfall, and Hotland. On the other hand, this is not their first time through the Underground. This is their second time through the Underground, and this run through has been the one with no mistakes. No one harmed, killed, or otherwise led to believe this child has done something wrong. They’ve befriended every monster they’ve encountered. The one monster that Frisk hasn’t encountered during this second run is the Underground’s king, Asgore Dreemurr. Frisk has braced for this moment since the end of their last run. During their first run through, Frisk had thought they must kill Asgore, and acted accordingly. After defeating Flowey’s omega form on top of sparing him, Frisk had thought they had realized their mistake, and had started this run, intent on not screwing up. Little does Frisk know, Flowey’s impatience & brash actions will make Frisk tumble down a completely different path, one seen as inconceivable with this world’s current setup. An altered end for all involved.

NEXT

Frisk, in the current moment, is just outside the barrier, staggering toward the entryway for the seventh time. Frisk is on the verge of being annoyed, but quickly puts the thought of their annoyance away. Frisk sees their goal as clear as day, and they are not going to let their six deaths to Asgore get in the way of that. Frisk shuffles through their inventory to get it ready for the fight ahead, then activates the save point again, just in case of yet another death. Frisk thinks to themself, I’m hoping I get it this time. All I need to do is lower his stats, then take him out. Frisk dutifully walks into the final room of the Underground, ready to take on Asgore. The six human souls softly glow with their respective colors as Asgore, who is looking away from the Barrier’s entryway, hears Frisk’s footsteps, and reflexively turns to face the child.

“Ready?” Asgore calmly asks.

“Yes, I’m ready Asgore.” Frisk answers as they draw their knife.

Asgore summons his trident, and magically flings it at Frisk’s MERCY button. The MERCY option breaks, and its shards scatter on the floor, which fails to phase Frisk at this point, seeing as they’ve this happen more than a dozen times across both their runs. Frisk flies through their menus and opts to go for the TALK option right off the bat.

“Asgore. I don’t want to fight you.” Frisk calmly says.

Asgore’s hands tremble for a moment as it becomes his turn. As Asgore fires off his first attack at Frisk, Flowey, who has been quietly watching the battle unfold at a distance behind Frisk, decides to go into the floor & pop up behind Asgore to get another angle on the fight, as well as to start the process of absorbing the six souls. Flowey thinks back to the last run Frisk did, as well as the words he said to them after his defeat. Flowey remembers Frisk’s almost instant reaction to his comment about Maybe sparing the king next time, and thinks to himself, Hmm. I’m sure this coward is trying to spare this old fool… Should I let them do it?. Flowey continues to ponder this as Asgore’s turn finishes up, which left Frisk with three burns scattered throughout their limbs. For all the protection the temmie armor provides, it leaves Frisk’s limbs fairly unprotected in exchange for their mobility staying the same. Frisk opts to select the TALK action again once it’s their turn.

“Asgore, I just want to spare you.” Frisk says in a more clear tone.

Asgore’s breathing becomes uneasy for a moment, then is back to normal as Asgore steels his nerves to ready another attack. Frisk dodges Asgore’s smaller fireballs just fine, but ends up tripping directly into one of Asgore’s bigger attacks, leaving Frisk with six hit points remaining. Frisk shakily gets to their feet, reaches into their pocket and pulls out the slice of Toriel’s butterscotch pie, then quickly eats in front of Asgore. Asgore’s stats drop as the pie’s smell reminds him of Toriel, then prepares his next attack. Flowey rolls his eyes as he thinks Oh gee, lowering his stats before actually fighting him. What a wonderful strategy. Just get this over with dammit!. Flowey’s vines snake into the souls’ containers as Frisk selects the TALK option once more.

“Asgore! Stop fighting!” Frisk says with perfect clarity.

Recollection flashes in Asgore’s eyes, resulting in his second stat drop. Asgore fires up an attack as Flowey, still watching the exchange, is at the end of his rope. Grrah! At least cut to the chase with your dialogue Frisk!, Flowey thinks to himself as his vines pause momentarily.

“Why won’t you-”

Flowey stops himself as he realizes he spoke at a noticeable volume. Asgore and Frisk have stopped their battle, their expressions engulfed in either pure confusion, in Asgore’s case, or pure terror, as in Frisk’s case. Frisk immediately snaps into action, announcing their charge at Flowey with an angered growl as they get ready to swing the worn knife. Flowey, in the split second he gets to react, extends his vines fast enough to both trip Frisk and grab the contained souls in a single snappy motion. As Asgore saw what this stranger had done, Asgore attempted to ask what this stranger planned to do, but his question was cut short by a stray vine going straight through his chest armor.

“Asgore!” Frisk exclaimed as they looked over and saw the damage.

“Don’t… Worry… About me… Human.”

Asgore shakily smiles as his body dissolves into its dustlike form. Frisk then quickly turns back to Flowey with a look that would make a demon wince, then begins to charge at Flowey again. Being overloaded from the energy from the six souls, Flowey doesn’t get an opportunity to react, resulting in Flowey taking a slash from Frisk’s knife. On the other hand, Frisk ended up missing Flowey’s face and instead slashing half of Flowey’s middle left petal off. After this semi-successful attack, Frisk turns back to Flowey with DETERMINATION in their eyes.

“Flowey!” Frisk yells with distinction. “You made me come all this way JUST to kill him in front of me?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

A moment after Frisk’s tirade, Flowey mutates into his omega form, making the space they were in turn pitch black. After coming back into awareness, Flowey ensnares Frisk in vines, with his answer prepared.

“You IDIOT. Didja think this part was going to be any different? You know, I WAS going to give you an opportunity to have your happy ending after this battle, but you’ve pissed me off!” Flowey angrily shouted. “You know what? Let’s make this even more fun for you!”

Frisk has been attempting to struggle out of Flowey’s vines since first being ensnared, but to no avail. Flowey takes one of their limbs and slashes into the blackness of this space, which results in a glitchy tear forming in the space he slashed. Flowey then triumphantly laughs as Frisk examines the newly formed tear in reality. Frisk looks back at Flowey as he begins to reorient his vines.

“Ehehehe… You remind me so much of an old friend. See ya later, Frisk! Have fun in the Void!”

Frisk winces as they are bluntly tossed toward the tear, unable to move enough to escape being flung face-first into the Void. Unlike the space they were just in, the Void made Frisk feel almost weightless, thanks to the lack of clear-cut rules in its plane of existence. Due to the weightlessness, Frisk ends up wheeling around enough to see the tear close behind them. That about closes the book on Frisk for now, but back in the non-zany reality, Flowey is pondering some things. What more can I do?, Flowey thinks, Do I just-. Flowey interrupts himself with another thought: Wait. I can go back! Back to when Chara and I were alive. I just need to find the right button…. Flowey begins his search through his menus, just as something, or rather someone, began to stir. As Flowey tapped through all his menus in an attempt to find his reset button, the six human souls embedded in him were attempting to contact him. Their six voices were underwhelming at first, something Flowey could easily ignore as he continued to search his menus. But then, the hushed voices of the souls greeted what seemed like another one of them. The six souls and this new one in their midst kept talking at a volume slightly above a whisper, and this irritated Flowey, for multiple reasons. For one, Flowey was still tapping through his menus, two, these souls were being a slight annoyance, but simultaneously three, he wanted to listen in. The souls continued to converse, and they kept a level volume, for they all were forming a plan. The voice that joined the conversation, as well as the one with the plan, was someone important to both Flowey and Frisk, the one and only Chara Dreemurr. Unlike most, Chara had been transformed into a spirit-like being and floating around the Underground since Asriel had dusted long ago. On top of that, Chara had attempted to aid the other fallen humans by using their knowledge to get them through. Obviously that hadn’t worked with fallen humans one through six, but Chara came through for Frisk. Chara was not about to let Flowey take that happy ending away from both of them. So Chara devised a plan with the six souls. It was simple, the six souls would distract Flowey, and Chara would mess with Flowey’s menus to get Frisk back. At the same moment, Flowey is at the end of his patience. These souls were still talking, but at such a low volume he couldn’t clearly make out what they all were saying. So he decided to address them directly.

“What are you IDIOTS talking about?! And why haven’t you involved me?!” Flowey boomed.

At first there was no answer, but after a moment, one of the souls piped up with a “Let us out.”. The other souls, seeing their opportunity, began to repeat the phrase to Flowey’s dissatisfaction, increasing their volume as Chara left their company to go through Flowey’s menus. Chara quickly surged through the menus, taking a different route than the chaotic flower had, and actually managing to find that seminal option. Surprised they found it, Chara marvels at the reset button for a moment just before they touch the glistening button, just as Flowey loses his patience with the chanting souls. Flowey prepares to scream at the six souls when he hears a button press coming from the direction of his menu, resulting in him turning to see an activated reset button with a soft red outline over it. A moment after the reset option's activation, a supernatural golden light engulfs the inhabited space, blinding everyone involved and drowning out any sound. Then, like that, a soft thump echoes through the Ruins, like nothing ever happened. Despite this, there is something odd about Frisk's fall this time. Something VERY odd.

-------

So that’s the first chapter! As always, if any of you have questions, feel free to ask me! At time of writing, Chapter 2 is close to halfway done. Enjoy your day!

[artissijamm]

I wrote a whole plot of this out of spite (and quite possibly subconsciously stole ideas from the notes because I just reread and it's looking similar :// )

If the gritty reboot of Archie comics is Riverdale-

The name of this show is probably "Tri-State area" or something

Vanessa is the main character for some reason, not candace- mayybe because Candace was taken away because of severe schizophrenia and hallucinations that keep getting worse every day of the summer vacation or MAYBE SHE IS A CONVICTED MURDERER OR SOMETHING

Ferb is like, a fucking drug dealer and makes drugs in the garage- making a business together with his step-brother to fund their inventions and secretly overthrow the government

Phineas is a very intelligent computer hacker who sells data and goes on and off the dark web to catch wrongdoers and kill them. In school, everyone probably likes him because he is smart, attractive and athletic for some fucking reason. His actions are all considered acceptable

Isabella is secretly gay

But not really bECAUSE QUEERBAITING, AMIRITE

Isabelle os the typical most attractive girl in the school who has dark secrets, she fuckin seduces people and murders them (eheheh) and gets paid for it! Now everyone just thinks that she is a very good person and very hardworking because she provides for her family and herself

Doofensmirtz is the evilest mad scientist in the block. Why? I don't fucking know? Maybe he also murders people? BaCAUSE GUESS WHAT! THIS IS A GRITTY REBOOT! He experiments on live human beings, making mutations and shit and ferb secretly works with him as his assistant. Then he has a brother, who is the mayor of the tri state area- who- guess what? IS ALSO DOOFENSMIRTZ WITH A DIFFERENT PERSONALITY BECAUSE HE HAS A SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER AND WEARS GLASSES

Plot

Many murder have been happening in the tri state area, Vanessa- the daughter of the one and only bitch, Doofensmirtz, has to hide the fact that her father murders innocent people because she loves him that much, and doesn't want him to get taken away.

While that is happening Phineas and Ferb is on the haunt of these mysterious murders without the help of the government BECAUSE FUCK THE GOVERNMENT.

i had a dream last night that they made a live-action r*verdale-style reboot of phineas and ferb and it looked like this

[naughtylokiconfessionstories]

Loki's Apology II: The Press Conference

By:  jotun-philosopher

A/N: I figured that in an in-universe context, Loki making an apology (like the one in my last fic) would create a massive media storm, and that things would get… interesting… pretty quickly, ‘cause, y'know, Loki + reporters XD I guess I’ve settled on the ’S.H.I.E.L.D.-backed’ idea for the apology, ‘cos this ficlet wouldn’t make much sense otherwise… Caution: possible minor spoilers for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (esp. S4) (Bonus: spot the random Discworld reference!) (Disclaimer: I have no idea how this sort of press conference would actually work, so I’ve pretty much pulled the proceedings out of my arse XD)

SCENE XX.X

EXTERIOR: OUTDOOR PRESS CONFERENCE SETUP, DAY

[DIRECTOR MACE is near the podium, twiddling with last-minute details. LOKI, in his black suit, stands slightly behind him and to his left, looking uncomfortable and fiddling with his left palm, while THOR stands on his left, holding Loki’s arm and looking slightly grim. Arrayed behind them are Daisy, Coulson (carrying Bambino – the Destroyer gun), and other agents. A crowd of various REPORTERS and members of the public are in attendance, variously chattering, shifting warily and eyeing Loki with varying levels of hostility. MACE steps up to the podium.]

MACE

Good morning, everyone, and thank you for attending. I am Jeffrey Mace, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. We are here today so that you can put to Loki [gestures towards him; Loki gives a tense, unsmiling nod] any questions you might have for him after his recent apology for the events in New York in 2012. I—

REPORTER #1

[interrupting] Director Mace, are we safe here? What is there to stop this maniac [points at Loki, who looks annoyed] from simply attacking us again?

MACE

[diplomatic and reassuring] Ma'am, there is no cause for alarm. Loki has been thoroughly psychologically vetted by the best professionals S.H.I.E.L.D. has available, who have deemed him safe to attend this event in person. [REPORTER #1 looks sceptical, while Loki rolls his eyes snarkily] Furthermore, Thor himself offered to supervise his brother today [Thor waves and waggles Mjollnir while smiling slightly] and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most formidable agents also volunteered to keep Loki in check—

[Daisy waves to the crowd and makes a 'behave or I’ll Quake your ass’ gesture to Loki, while Coulson brandishes Bambino with an 'I know what this does now’ raised eyebrow; both manage to look simultaneously badass and adorkable. Loki just looks annoyed.]

—so I can assure you that you need have no concerns for your safety. And now, without further ado, here is Loki to answer your questions.

[Mace steps down from the podium, to much flashing of cameras. Loki moves towards it, ducking a couple of thrown missiles along the way, but is briefly paused by Thor giving him a quick, encouraging 'you can do this’ squeeze on the shoulder. Loki accepts it and the two share a brief, complicated brotherly look before he gives a quick nod and continues to the podium]

LOKI

So, umm… first question?

REPORTER #1

Why did it take you so long to make this apology? It’s been over five years since the Battle of New York.

LOKI

[slowly, with a certain flatness]

From a psychological perspective, I was not capable of making the apology before now, because I was so deeply in denial about my role in the events, as well as being consumed with anger about certain things that happened prior to my encountering the Chitauri. [a bit of brittle chirpiness creeps into his tone and he starts speaking slightly more quickly] In practical terms, of course, I was unable to apologise owing to being locked in the palace dungeons up to the time of the Convergence and, afterwards, due to an… interesting concatenation of circumstances stemming from the Dark Elves’ attack on Asgard [crowd murmurs in surprise], I was carrying out extremely important and highly classified political duties for the Asgardian government, so… [gives a slightly manic not-quite-a-smile; in the background, Thor’s expression tightens briefly]

REPORTER #2

What prompted you to finally make your apology?

LOKI

A few things – psychologically recovering to the point where I was able to speak the words and mean them, thinking about what my m… certain people whose opinion I have always valued would want, and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s joint heads of Science & Technology introducing me to Undertale. [flurry of disbelieving noise from the crowd; Loki holds up a hand and continues cheerfully] I’m quite serious! They recommended the game to me during a physical assessment, as having some very cogent moral commentary that happens to be extremely relevant to my own actions. And so it proved. All I’ll say is: flowers should not be that blooming disturbing!

[appreciative chuckles from the crowd]

REPORTER #3

Why did you include that bit at the end about 'do not less your losses make you hateful’? It seemed a little out of step with the rest of the speech.

LOKI

[serious, with strength and emotion]

I’m aware of a great deal of anti-Inhuman xenophobia in current discourse, which some of its proponents support by citing the Chitauri attack. Quite apart from the fact that that’s total bollocks, ehehe – the Chitauri have nothing whatsoever to do with any aspect of the existence of Inhumans – I know from bitter personal experience that lashing out at others in rage or grief, causing them pain, whether these others are connected to the source of one’s hurt or not, achieves nothing positive – only further pain – and has a mentally corrosive effect on the one lashing out. Furthermore, I can identify with the Inhuman side of the equation in some ways, so this issue is something of an emotional flashpoint for me. If preventing even one person from having to experience that kind of hurt will help to atone for the damage I caused, then I’ll do what I can.

[a beat, awkward silence – it’s pretty clear that none of the crowd expected THAT answer. After a moment of miscellaneous shuffling and staring-at-feet, REPORTER #4 coughs politely]

REPORTER #4

You alluded to having stabbed or killed an Agent Coulson at some point during the incident, but that very same agent has been noticeably active in recent times – how’s that possible?

LOKI, MACE AND COULSON

[cheerfully, in sync]

That’s classified!

REPORTER #1

You alluded to a 'complicated context’ for your actions. [Loki nods] Can you clarify that?

LOKI

[grimly]

Not without dissolving into a screaming wreck while being beset with horrible flashbacks, I’m afraid – I’ve not recovered *that* far. [humourless half-smile]

REPORTER #1

Are you a Frost Giant [Loki flinches as though struck with a half-brick in a sock] – what’s the word? – [with a hard J/G sound] Jo- Jot-

LOKI

[annoyed]

[correct pronunciation] Jotun? That’s not something I wish to disclose either way.

REPORTER #1

Is it relevant to your 'context’ and the condition you mentioned being in when you arrived on Earth?

LOKI

Relevant? [bitter laugh] To my having been afflicted with heat exhaustion? [shakes his head while making incoherent laugh/distress noises and sagging slightly against the podium. Thor rushes up, glares briefly at Reporter #1 and puts a supporting arm around Loki’s shoulders]

THOR

[sotto voce]

Are you all right, brother? Do you need to step away?

LOKI

[sotto voce]

I’ll be fine, just… [draws a shaky breath] Just give me a couple of seconds…

[Thor nods. Loki draws a few, slightly steadier, breaths and seems to collect himself. Thor gives him a quick side-hug and backs off a bit, but stays close by, looking wary]

LOKI

[slightly forced, 'pay no attention to my little breakdown’ cheerfulness]

Any less… invasive… questions?

REPORTER #5

What’s your opinion on the views that’ve been making the rounds recently, that you should have been allowed to conquer the planet in 2012, or that you should be allowed to rule the world, or at least the US, now?

LOKI

[genuinely cheerful]

Well, given the state of my mind in 2012, having me take over anything would have been a pretty dreadful idea! Now, though, if people really want my rule, and there’s a vacancy… [makes a shrug-ish gesture like the one in this picture – I don’t know how to describe it in words, sorry XD] …lead me to it! Ehehehe [grins]

[rumble of amusement from the crowd. A woman wearing a 'Yuri!!! On Ice’ T-shirt pipes up, looking mischievous]

BYSTANDER

Did you really have sex with a horse?

[the S.H.I.E.L.D. contingent get varying expressions of 'WTF?’ and 'Uh oh’, while Thor facepalms slightly – he knows this story – and Loki looks positively gleeful]

LOKI

[massive grin]

Nope! I made that one up to mess with a bard who was acting like the skaldic equivalent of a tabloid journalist. [nervous chuckles from the reporters] No, Sleipnir was a random mutation produced in the way horses normally come about – no shapeshifting involved. [chuckles to himself and looks even more mischievous] If you want amusing anecdotes about me and hoofed mammals, there’s always the Goat Incident— [Thor gets an 'OH CRAP’ expression and braces to leap] —which was reported in the Prose Edda, although Sturlusson took it waaay out of cont-mmppphhhhhhh! [Thor leaps on him, claps a hand over his mouth, wraps his other arm around Loki’s upper torso and forcibly drags him from the podium]

THOR

We do not speak of the Goat Incident!

[beat]

MACE

[approaches the podium]

End of conference… I guess?