#my anons are spot on with this discourse

[skepticalarrie]

why did you criticise louis? He has always had it way tougher. He turned down many opportunities because he wanted to stay true to himself. And he went through a lot personally. Meanwhile, harry had access to every resource imaginable. Everything was basically handed to him. It just doesn’t seem fair to criticize louis for how he’s handling his career, especially when you praise harry’s career and say he has worked hard, when you know he took the easy route.

Anon, I’m going to hold your hand as I say this—because I honestly think you and others in your little bubble truly believe that’s reality—but you sound insane. Like, genuinely. You can’t handle someone criticising your favourite artist? Really? Don’t you ever criticise the people you love the most? Your friends? Your family? Or is that off-limits just because they’ve been through hard things? If so, you must be a pretty terrible friend.

Louis has absolutely been through a lot, and it’s incredibly admirable that he’s still here being so loyal to his fans, to his music, and making his own choices. I talk about that all the time (not that you would know that because clearly you didn't realise what my blog is about). That’s why so many of us have such a soft spot for him and want to protect him. But that doesn’t mean I have to agree with every single thing he does. Sometimes I disagree with his choices, the same way I disagree with any other artist eventually—and I’m going to talk about that, because this is a discourse blog. And even then, I’ve only ever criticised certain decisions he sometimes makes with his career or public image. That’s it. I don’t even critique his music, because I love it. And I love him. I have no idea where you got the idea that he’s out there actively turning down opportunities to “stay true to himself,” because listen, love… he’s part of the system—just like any other artist who came out of a massive, highly manufactured boyband (which, by the way,��he didn’t even want to leave).

And dragging Harry into this just makes you sound even more unhinged and insecure. This wasn’t even about Harry lol. And you know what? Your fave is literally fucking big bad commercial sucessfull Harry Styles as we speak. Isn't that ironic.

[olderthannetfic]

After hearing more about the OFMD racefaker, I have the sneaking suspicion I may know this person from another fandom. I can't be sure, since we stopped talking years ago, but he was the type to pump out hundreds of well-received fics a year, and the reason we stopped talking is because he lied about his identity to seem more oppressed and pitiable than he actually was. The last I heard from him, he was getting heavy into the OFMD fandom. Without getting into specifics, the racefaking would be a natural, if steep, escalation of his same tactics.

Part of me wants to think it's not the same person and the man I knew is capable of positive change, but this man had no remorse when I caught him in a lie, so it could be that he kept going down the same path. Who knows? I have no one to talk to about this, hence why I'm sharing my conspiracy on anon.

--

He probably did not change for the better.

At the same time, this is really, really, really not an isolated incident. This bullshit keeps cropping up in fandom and credulous idiots keep falling for it because it feels good to think that your personal dissatisfaction stems from deep moral roots and this crusader for justice is going to punish all the people who upset you.

Fandom is too invested in anti-kink and especially anti-ravishment-fantasy discourse to start spotting these jackasses before they've caused immense harm.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I was an active participant in the ace/aro discourse on the side of aces and aros and tbh the reframing of it as “mean stinky asexys bullying trans women” is… this wasn’t history so historical revisionism isn’t right. Tumblr lore revisionism?

1. We saw multiple TERFs admit they became TERFs after becoming ace exclusionists because they found the arguments they were making for kicking asexuals and aromantics out were also arguments they could use against trans people.

2. I can think of multiple transfems who supported aces and aros. This may be a blind spot on my end, but the only transfem exclusionist I can think of was discourseprincesa who later turned out to be lying. She claimed to be an Afro-Latina Jewish intersex trans lesbian and every time someone tried to call her out from the perspective of a different marginalized group she’d suddenly reveal she had a connection there too. She was infamous for being a raging ableist who regularly suicide baited and harassed people, sometimes to the point of panic attacks and mental breakdowns, but her accidentally posting on the wrong blog where she’s honest about being a cis perisex white woman was what got every exclusionist to finally stop supporting her.

3. Wait, I almost forgot the other transfem who was an ace exclusionist. She was best known for dating the person who accused aces of stealing the color purple from bi people. Aside from those two, the majority of aphobes I saw and encountered were cis women, transmascs, trans men, and nonbinary people who either didn’t list their agab or were afab. This is not surprising when you’re on a website that is predominantly those who were afab. These demographic numbers would look a lot different if it took place on Reddit.

4. The entire ace discourse was nothing more than a site-wide bullying campaign against asexuals and aromantics, with any Ace or aro who was too open about their orientation risking getting mountains of anon hate and harassment, suicide baiting, etc., and even something as harmless as “cake and dragons” was open to receiving a slew of aphobic bullshit, to the point where aces and aros basically couldn’t have anything. We saw a lot of aces and aros go from being out and open about it to suddenly being so much quieter and hesitating if they even wanted to go to queer events at all, as they learned from years of harassment that they weren’t welcome there. Given how one post that sticks out to me is a person saying that if they saw an ace lesbian holding an ace flag at pride they’d punch her for it, I can’t say I blame them.

So, that’s all entirely from memory! I’m sure someone else can fill in additional details if they’d like.

Important history right here

[respectthepetty]

Your post about being happy that there are so many queer media to watch nowadays, even the bad ones is just spot on. I live in a homophobic country and I'm still in the closet at 25. so imagine growing up, discovering yourself, being so afraid and then have all the queer content you find end with the characters dying, being laughed at, or reduced to harmful stereotypes. because what did that mean for silly young closeted me?

But now?

Now I'm thriving, i get to experience queer love, queer joy, even queer dumbassery lmao. These reminders, despite still feeling stuck, constantly show me how other queer people are moving forward and living their lives—and it's beautiful, even the trashy ones (which always are the most fun to watch)

So thank you for your post. It’s a reminder that our stories matter, no matter how imperfect!

Anon, although I live in the United States, I have always lived in a super conservative county where the town clerk refuses to issue marriage licenses to queer couples (and sometimes people of color depending on the day). We have billboards coming into town telling everyone they are going to hell and compared to all my friends in bigger cities who had to wait for the COVID vaccine, I got mine in 2020 when they were mostly only available to medical staff because the medical staff at our hospital refused to get it because Trump told them not to or some shit, so the local pharmacy begged anyone to get the shot before they expired. For a long time, my town refused to let cable or internet companies come in because then we would be exposed to sinful media.

But I ain't moving!

So although I haven't lived your experience, I feel ya.

Which is why I love all the discourse about QLs. If someone loves a show, I want to see why. If someone hates a show, I want to hear all about it. Because for so long, I had NOTHING! I was looking at the bible in Catholic school like . . . "Judas, you could've just told Jesus you wanted him instead of doing all this" *sign of the cross* and we all know how that ended for both of them.

Now, I'm trying to figure out where to find the time to watch all that is being offered to me! I can be picky now! I can dislike a show without feeling like ALL queer content will be taken away from me. I can get characters giving hand jobs, rim jobs, and blow jobs without having to pay-for-view at 1 am praying that the volume stays low.

I have watched some of the worst imaginable queer content, and I have watched queer porn with a plot which has smacked, and not just literally *wink*. I have watched so many queers be buried in ways that people cannot even begin to fathom. I have seen more than my fair share of queer media, and I can say without a doubt that these BLs are giving us some of the best variety of queers I have ever seen, and regardless if they are true to the queer experience (Dinosaur Love, I'm looking at your wild ass), two men holding hands is really fucking queer to these homophobes regardless of the plot. Two men cuddling in bed is super queer to these homophobes regardless of how aligned it is with the queer experience. Two women kissing is giving a homophobe a heart attack right now!

Century of Love had homophobic crew members. Those people got a paycheck for filming a BL while tweeting homophobic comments. Homophobia doesn't magically go away because we have queer content, which is a truth you and I know, but it gives me tiny pleasure knowing that 1) the show is airing on a popular-ish Thai channel in a prime-time slot, and 2) homophobes had to film two men kissing, multiple times. If we can't beat (the fuck out of) them, at least we made them feel super uncomfortable for even a teeny tiny bit.

And that's the other half of this - Not only do we get to consume all of this, but others are being exposed to it. These shows are airing in their countries ON TV. These actors are being shown in ads on TV and doing spreads for magazines. So while my town has billboards telling us to seek Jesus or perish in the fires of hell, Apo and Mile are eating Lay's on a billboard somewhere in Thailand.

Because this isn't just about the queers watching but about the homophobes and even the in-betweens witnessing it.

Give me all the trashy series (Dinosaur Love, still looking at you)! Give me the series that have absolutely no plot except two boys holding hands. GIVE ME EVERYTHING! Because no matter what I get, I guarantee it is pissing off some grandpappy somewhere, and that's really the queer experience; pissing people off for not only existing, but having the audacity to thrive despite it all.

So thrive, QL Land, THRIVE!

[midnight-bay-if]

I'm so torn between ROs... Honestly can't decide between S, who seem to be like the greenest of flags here - they're human, and have no ulterior motive (I think?) to pursue the MC, apart from the initial spark of attraction and curiosity. Also their personality seems okay as well, they look like a mature person, someone with whom it is easy to communicate and just be around. Sure, they have their own inner demons, but come on - who doesn't? At least S try to not make their demons everyone else's problem.

But also there is N, who seem a little bit too much for me personally, but, oh, I do want to romance them just to spite Alek.

And also there is Umbra! Umbra, reappearing out of thin air, when they are needed. Umbra, who looks like an encyclopedia illustration of 'ride or die' term. Umbra, who follows us around like a lost puppy. A little bit creepy - in a sexy way - tall, dark, alluring puppy. Somehow the fact they do not realize how attractive they are and how much more they intrigue the MC by trying to keep us at arm's length, makes them even more attractive.

God save multiple save slots 🤣🤣🤣

Also, if there is some kind of petition about making Hunter a LI in the next book, please, sign me in. I really like their personality. They are surprisingly honest and do not try to cover their motives behind pleasantries. Yes, we do not know yet what those motives are, but still. I also love their 'no f***s given' attitude and the fact that they like to get on the MC's nerves a little bit. But at the same time they immediately back off when they see we are genuinely not in the mood. What a beautiful potential for the 'push and pull' relationship dynamic! To annoy each other, first out of spite and mutual irritation, using pet names as an insult, but slowly starting to anticipate this banter, making it flirtier and annoying not each other, but everyone else around... Starting to like each other's stubbornness and edginess... Chief's kiss.

Oh, but also, of you say Hunter is a shitty person, and there is nothing to redeem them, that's all right, too. If they are genuinely a bad person, and want to use our MC for whatever reason, and do not care for us as a person, then we can just ask Umbra to pay them a friendly visit and to (intimidate them to death)... I mean, poop on their porch or something. Like a good puppy they are.

Hi, anon! I’m so glad my evil plan to have everyone fall in love with each of my ROs is working, haha.

But yes, you are right about S being the greenest of green flags, lol. All the ROs have a journey to go through, but S is well in the depths of theirs already and has mostly come through the other side. I wanted at least one RO to be well-adjusted. That isn’t to say they won’t experience struggle in their route, but they will handle it with dignity and maturity.

N is definitely a little full-on, but they can also be good fun to write, at least, haha.

Umbra is a cutie. Definitely MC’s ride-or-die. Umbra came from a really personal place, so I can’t help but have a soft spot for them. They were my guardian angel exactly when I needed them, so now I hand them over to everyone else, too. Just in case.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since the discourse started about Hunter. Hunter is not a good person, but I think it will make for a very interesting dynamic if people decide to pursue him. By the time his potential romance comes around, people will be able to make a much more informed decision about him. So, although I couldn’t make him an RO in book one, I think it will work out for the best this way.

Thank you so much for the kind message :) It really means a lot.

[tea-and-secrets]

i run a fandom confessions blog and one of my rules is to be kind to each other/not shame each other over differences of opinion (the fandom is prone to discourse so it is a necessary precaution lmao) and normally it is so nice and pleasant and i genuinely love that i’ve been able to carve a relatively discourse-free little spot in that fandom. but also. sometimes ppl have interpretations on characters that i disagree with soooooo hard. and it takes all of my willpower to smile and go “wow i’ve never thought about them like that!” one of my regular anons talks about my notp constantly and i’ve had to grin and bear it the whole time. i’m not an ass so i’ve done my best to not make anyone uncomfortable (the anon is aware i’m not a fan of their ship but like i said. i’m not an ass and they’re still happily sending asks so we’re good) but oh my god the amt of confessions i’ve gotten from ppl where all i can think is “they would not fucking do/say that” but i smile and nod. i will never let them know when i think their takes are stupid but god sometimes you get an ask completely mischaracterizing the guy ur obsessed with and you have to take a breath . before you can tag it and hit post

.

[velvetvexations]

https://www.tumblr.com/velvetvexations/786940614817218560/curious-why-you-actively-dislike-drag-especially

I know you said you don’t find it aesthetic but drag just is… the art of dressing up as another gender or playing with gender stereotypes in a dress up form so I’m just confused. Because like a drag artist could look basically indistinguishable from the gender they’re portraying while in drag. Or someone wearing body paint and fake boobs to cosplay a blue anime girl could be drag. One could argue many heightened subcultures including emo revival can be drag. So it’s weird to me that you write it all off as non aesthetic when there are so so so so so many forms of drag

TL;DR I'm going to stop being stupidly hostile towards things that are harmless.

If I implied it's objectively 'non-aesthetic' as an artistic mode of expression I very much apologize for that. I have more to say about the subject, because I just took my meds and they make me write essays,

I also wanna say right off the bat that when I call myself a bitch on this matter it has absolutely nothing to do with anything anyone has said to me, this is just me ruminating about something I genuinely dislike about myself.

Okay, so I can answer this, but like I said before, I keep being paranoid about having to say "I don't like [x]" because it makes me look like a hater and an asshole. Like, there are a lotta people in drag who are cool and I support but putting me on the spot to further defend and justify me not liking it makes me uncomfortable because I do not want to come off as being a relentless bitch, like people who can't shut up about how they don't like rap.

I can't act like like I didn't bring it up unprompted when the first anon asked me how TRFs feel about drag. I couldt just defend drag and not include the "by the way, I don't like it for subjective reasons" asterisk. I could just leave that out instead and shut my mouth beyond the point I say it isn't transmisogynistic. Maybe I am actually just a bitchy hater, like, for real. I feel like I've already blown up the issue into being this multi-day discourse about it when it's absolutely unnecessary. I need to work on not being the kinna person that brings up their negative opinion of something valid every time it comes up. I don't know why I've always done it but it makes me very annoyed with myself over it.

I've clearly always been self-aware of harshing people's vibes that I don't like when drag comes up, so maybe that's also part of it, I'm a bitch about harmless things I dislike enough that I hate when people continuously make it a subject. I worry about hurting people's feelings or annoying them because I know I have such a bad track record on that, but I've never committed to just changing my behavior.

All this seems very self-pitying of me. I'm making such a big deal about it and that also feels cringe because maybe no one else has actually taken it that way and I'm just being wildly dramatic. I've mentioned before about how The Screwtape Letters inspired me to constantly monitor my own thoughts and push them aside when those thoughts suck, and this is a good example of how combining that with Needs To Be Liked Disorder is a viper's pit of anxiety.

Anyway. In answer the question, I think there's a very specific vibe that dominates the perception of the word. As I said previously, one can image search it and get rows and rows of a particularly, as a previous drag fan anon said a tick ago, garish style. I feel like it's fair to be averse to it as much as one can not be into a genre of music or fiction regardless of how truly varied it is. Like, I'm pretty sure when I say drag puts me off that everyone immediately imagines what I'm referring to, but that's also not great because then I'm flattening the art to a 2D stereotype and erasing less visible people within it by insisting on that.

[legacygirlingreen]

saw ur post w anon hate and just wanna say FUCK THOSE GUYS THIS IS FANDOM BABYYYYY🤬🤬🤬

In all seriousness, kudos to u for having such a mature and thoughtful response! No one should be spreading such hate when fandom is a labor of love we all share for free, and no one has the right to criticize YOUR story because it doesn't fulfill *their* expectations. No pressure to reply to this or anything, just sending much love!🫶

Thank you so much for reaching out, I really hadn't expected to receive so many private DMs/messages lately regarding it. I honestly posted it because I didn't want to knowingly enable negative behavior by staying silent. I do prefer a slightly different approach to things of that nature. I recognize people might be lashing out because they hurt or confused. To me it is better to rise above and try and break the cycle if at all possible.

This blog's current focus really is rooted in trying to be a positive spot people feel welcome to engage in discourse. I am an academic at heart and that is something that caries into my spaces on Tumblr. I spend much of my creative time collaborating.

The stories that referenced are part of a larger AU I happen to creatively contribute to with a friend of mine. The changes - understandably pretty weighted, so I recognize that it may have come as a shock to some - we mutually agreed upon. Ironically enough, the split of her main OC and Tech was her own idea and I just assisted with filling in the gaps/creating a new plot structure.

I just hope that this can be a learning experience for everyone in general. We don't need to tolerate hate, but we also do not have to respond with it either. Maker knows there is enough of that at large in the star wars fandom; I've both worked in production for it, as well as wrote a masters thesis on the fandom dynamic of Star Wars, so I am quite versed in it at this point.

I appreciate each and every one of you who have reached out, truly it means the world. I would love to see more and more positivity grow out of here in the next few weeks. I love talking with you all about your stories, your ideas, your passions, your characters, the things that inspire you. I also love getting to know you all. We all share a common interest, but we are also humans with our own differences and way of life that are as complex as they are beautiful.

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place" ~ Kurt Vonnegut

[ryuichirou]

Re: Gaslighter Rook. I wanna preface this by saying ofc people are free to hc whatever they want but I have some issues with what the other person said and how dismissive they acted about the whole thing. I apologize if this invites drama or discourse, that is absolutely not my intention, I moreso just want to share the other side's point of view for the sake of balance since you said you don't mind civil discussion even if we disagree. Firstly, yes a lot of the arguments for this come from the labcoat vignette. However, it is not all just because of one line. In the same vignette, Rook tells Vil he can't trust his own eyes because Rook knows him better than Vil knows himself which is a very common gaslighter tactic. He then further mentions that people will leave him unless he does what Rook tells him to and puts down the "me or everyone else" argument. Rook further tries to undermine Vil's ability to trust other people in Vil's dorm vignette by saying the other dorm members would never appreciate Vil's efforts for them even if they knew about them – a blatant lie that however still makes Vil withdraw from talking to them about it. During Vil's overblot, Rook refuses to give Vil personal space while he's having a mental breakdown and repeatedly asserts that Vil "doesn't deserve" it as well as claiming to be responsible for punishing him. After VDC, Rook not only claims that his vote was the deciding one despite having no way of knowing that but also claims it was the objectively correct thing to do as, again, Vil didn't deserve to win, simply because having a mental breakdown is ugly (since he was referring to the overblot, not the attempted cursing – which was never confirmed to be intended to be lethal by the way, that was also just Rook's assumption, one Vil, a character who already struggles to communicate with people especially if he feels they see him negatively, didn't fight but also didn't confirm). I also take issue with the claim that it cannot be abuse just because Vil respects Rook. Even ignoring how often irl abuse victims don't realize they're abused because of their warped perception of their abuser, we have examples of this even in twst. Mrs. Rosehearts wasn't a wonderful mother who suddenly became abusive when Riddle stopped making excuses for her behavior. Abuse doesn't stop being abuse because it isn't recognized and to a lot of us gaslighting victims, Rook's behavior is spot-on with things we went through, hence why we call him a gaslighter. Oh and a small note before anyone claims anything, according to multiple psychology sources, gaslighters aren't always aware of what they are doing. Me and others calling Rook a gaslighter don't automatically mean he WANTS to be evil toward Vil. Some of us see it that way while others don't but regardless, acting as though this headcanon comes from one single out of context line and not from a pattern of behavior Rook consistently displays feels very disingenuous and like it's trying to make us seem crazy when all we try to do is explain why we may not be comfortable with a character.

You don’t have to explain why you are uncomfortable. Neither me nor that Anon have made any judgment about it, and frankly, who cares why you don’t like a character. You don’t need reasoning for not liking him, a person might just think Rook’s hair is stupid or dislike characters with green eyes, and that’s enough. None of this makes you crazy, and this isn’t that deep.

If you look at the first ever reply I did on this topic, I said it then (and after that I said it time and time again):

Based on what you’re saying, your opinion is influenced by your past experiences. Which isn’t a bad thing, we all have our own biases, but it makes a proper discussion quite difficult, especially when there is trauma involved.

Because we love Rook as much as you hate him, and I fail to see why we should align our feelings and experiences with yours. This is not a public debate platform, this is not a discord server, this is my personal blog, and my opinion is always going to be prevalent here. I usually try to take the position “agree to disagree” also to avoid situations like this.

You’ve said that you just want to explain and share your side of the conversation, but in that case claiming that the other side’s opinion is dangerous or uninformed is a pretty shitty thing to do, just as it is shitty to completely ignore the points they were trying to make and put words into their mouths instead, alluding to them victimblaming and dismissing real victim’s struggles. What I’ve said multiple times at this point is that Rook Hunt isn’t a gaslighter. Not that it’s Vil’s fault for trusting him, not that if Vil respects him that it automatically makes Rook not an abuser (Anon didn’t say that either). Not that Rook is always right. Not that Rook has never hurt Vil. I’ve even said that we can’t say for certain that Rook’s brutal honesty is always helpful and doesn’t affect Vil in any bad way:

Maybe sometimes it would be better for Vil to just take it easy and relax instead of perfecting every single thing, but this isn’t what Vil wants for himself: he doesn’t want to be pampered, he wants to be appreciated for his hard work.

Just because this is what Vil wants doesn’t mean that this is what’s best for him. I still don’t think that it makes Rook an abuser, by the way (which is also a completely different topic from Rook being a gaslighter). You have ignored every single argument I’ve made in all of my previous replies, which is fine, but then I don’t really see the reason for you to explain yourself if you’re not even going to listen to me again.

No one tried to paint you as crazy, and even if I or Anon thought that this entire argument (argument, not you) was weird, it doesn’t concern you. If Rook Hunt hurts you, why would you even interact with any discourse about him? Why did that very first Anon confront me for not calling Rook a gaslighter, if all you (collective “you”) people wish for is to explain your point of view? I am not an emperor of Rook Hunt land; I am a rando writing hcs about dicks on the internet. And Rook Hunt is a character of a gacha game.

I’ll repost another thing from my very first reply.

Just ignore shit that you don’t like because while it might be traumatic for you, to us it might be one of the few things that bring us happiness.

Please read this part carefully. And respectfully, let’s stop this. I don’t agree with any of your points/interpretation, I find them drastically off from Rook’s actual characterisation to the point that it’s almost baffling at times (I have read all the scenes you’ve mentioned and I disagree with your every single point.) And guess what, it’s absolutely okay. Like I, wow, have said time and time again, we all have our biases. Yours happens to be to read everything that Rook does in the worst way possible and to compare him to Riddle’s mom. Mine happens to be very different, and insisting on me just missing the point or thinking or feeling the wrong way or not being educated enough about gaslighting or abuse (something that I also experienced, and you are aware of that) feels pretty disrespectful. This isn’t what I meant when I said that I don’t mind a civil conversation. This doesn’t feel like a conversation. Because, you know…

Even if it feels completely off to how I view it, I can appreciate or at least respect it if they respect the way I do things. And don’t imply that I don’t get it or I am stupid.

I won’t write an actual rebuttal to your points because one thing hasn’t changed from my very first post about the topic: this isn’t about Rook Hunt. And I don’t want to discuss the so-called danger of fictional tropes that don’t even apply to the character in my view. Also, stating that the way I headcanon a character’s behaviour and share my thoughts with others is dangerous to other people in real life (because someone is going to take my opinion as a course for their actions, I guess?) is also ironic. Why isn’t me drawing problematic ships or writing dark headcanons dangerous then? It’s the same logic, I have heard this argument multiple times, and I fail to see how it’s different right now. Rook Hunt is not a real person, we see his interactions with others from all points of view, he has actual writers with their own intentions (none of which is to portray Rook as a terrible, atrocious person, he’s not even 100% a villain, he’s a character that helped the princess in the original story, and I believe that his writers keep that in mind, ffs), and it is drastically different from the way I would treat this situation in real life: exactly because I would have to base my opinion on the lack of other perspectives and not witnessing the situations myself, and a bunch of other factors connected to the fact that this is real life, and in those cases I would prioritise the victim of someone’s suspicious actions. What a surprise.

I also believe that Katsu and I did our part so you could easily ignore our Rook-centric posts that make you uncomfortable. So please do your part and don’t interact with our Rook-centric posts (this applies to anyone who is deeply uncomfortable with this character or any other character, for that matter). Coming up with ways to mention Rook in posts so it's easily mutable for you and only you and still getting treated like an abuse apologist who spreads dangerous ideas makes one feel kind of silly for ever trying to be considerate and respectful. You’ll have to come up with ways to deal with that on your own now. This conversation is over.

This is also the last post I’m writing on this topic, every follow-up ask or comment about it (from anyone, anywhere) won’t be replied to.

[g4y-th0ughts]

Lisa unbuttoning not even 5 seconds into entering the flat and in the living room was so crazy lmao. I need them to get at least one make out soon though because compared to some of the other couples they feel a bit sanitized in that area ngl. And omg I totally forgot about that Calzona scene until now! It was so iconic to me then and after rewatching it still is lol. They hardly got to make out back then either but we’ve come so far like wow

so true anon!! istg that calzona scene came out of some sort of hiding spot in my brain and immediately popped up in my mind when i saw today’s swarla scene, it was iconic for real and made me a bit nostalgic 🥲 baby gay feels and all that

i know there’s a bit of discourse about swarla not having too many intimate scenes and personally i do feel like they need to give them some them-only time without interruptions because we’ve gone from fun dating to married with kids struggles a bit too quickly in my opinion lol but it’s not necessarily connected to physical intimacy to me (wouldn’t be opposed to it ofc but i don’t feel like that’s what’s lacking). if we compare swarla to todd&theo, like a lot of people are doing, i think the writers are trying to portray the two relationships in two very different ways (long-lasting and mature vs horny and cheating lol) and that’s why with swarla we’re getting a lot of family scenes and not so many intimate ones (unfortunately).

[taleblranonymous]

I was going to wait until I had access to a computer to do this, but I realized waiting is not the right move here.

There is a recent ask, specifically a ToastedGhost critical ask, that I let go to post that genuinely shouldn’t have. I had said in the past that I did not want asks vagueing people, and I messed up by letting this one through.

This isn’t nothing against the sentiments of the ask, and that person is allowed to have their feelings on the matter. However, the way they went about it wasn’t something I should have condoned. I think the reasoning it shouldn’t have gone to post is best explained by this reblog:

Seeing the reaction this post has gotten within my inbox alone— I haven’t checked the tag— I fully agree. I do think this could be a place to voice the sentiment of wanting to see more than the main ship��� but the phrasing used was honestly pretty hostile toward a large swath of the fandom, and I wish I followed my gut.

To the anons who sent asks to respond to the initial ask; I genuinely love the energy and appreciate you for trying to open the door to further conversation. I sadly cannot let your asks go through. I am waiting to let this post to make sure the queue is empty, and if you do not see your anon then I’m afraid I decided I could not let it go to post.

That being said, I encourage you to voice your opinions! The anons I’m not letting go to post did make some really good points on the matter, I just feel likes its better for this blog to not encourage people to use it as a spot to host discourse.

[starmocha]

I avoid the virginity discourse like a plague cause things get kinda horrible on ladstwwt

that said....yes! That's exactly how I picture Caleb. It's not that he's saving himself for her, it's the fact that he doesn't want anyone else. He may have tried stuff but he just couldn't perform because it's not mc.

I bet he jerks off to photos of her when they're apart. He doesn't like porn, too fake. But he does get aroused seeing it and the very first thing he does is lean back and pretend it's him and mc while he strokes himself.

you and that anon were spot on!! He wants mc and only mc. Oh my this puppy will be the end of me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

I avoid public discourses in general lmao 😁✌️ I only get more opinionated in private with friends 🙂

This is how you will find me in the fandom: unaware, unbothered, unfiltered

✨️thriving✨️

Honestly, I do like this take on Caleb. Just because this is a romance dating game, it's still nice to depict men with different sexual drives/history. They can't all be sex gods or horndogs. 🙂

[austinslounge]

Let me say this slowwwwly so that you understand what I'm saying.

The house with the photo shoots (Golden Globes, SAGs, etc) was AUSTIN'S HOUSE in Los Feliz. It wasn't an apartment, it was a house.

Yes, Kaia herself bought a house back around April of 2023.

You might be confusing the fact that Kaia and Austin used to be spotted all the time in Los Feliz, that's because back in 2022, Kaia still lived with her parents in their home in Malibu, but was basically semi-living with Austin in Los Feliz in his house since she was visiting so often.

In April of 2023, after Kaia moved out of her parents house into her own house, you hardly saw the couple in Los Feliz anymore.

This is Kaia's House:

But they did not buy that house together. If they had bought that house together, it would have been reported that they did.

That house is always listed as Kaia's house. I'm sure Austin was always there with her for the most part, since they were dating each other, but I strongly suspect he had his own separate place.

Notice it said, "Butler's pad" , and "no girlfriends". They even confirmed it in a video interview (yet again) when they spoke about that day.

Austin has mentioned in an interview that he moved, that's why I'm not assuming that he still has the house in Los Feliz above, or that he even still lives in Los Feliz period anymore. Idk, I don't stalk the man. I just do the math. He says he moved, so I assume he doesn't still have the house above. But maybe he does? Idk. All I know is that he hasn't been spotted in Los Feliz in ages.

He was moreso being spotted in Malibu, which is where (I'm assuming) Kaia's house is.

This article (below), for example pictured them both on the same exact day going to the gym and running errands in Malibu. If Kaia supposedly lives in Los Feliz, why on earth would she (and Austin) be going to separate gyms almost an hour away, allllll the way in Malibu?? 🥴 That just doesn't make any sense to me.

https://www.justjared.com/2023/05/29/austin-butler-kaia-gerber-step-out-separately-in-malibu/

Anyway, idk where either of them live tbh, I just know what they themselves have said, and what has been reported.

🙄

I know this is just you again Anon. 😒 I recognize you. Stop sending in anons to co-sign on yourself.

Btw, it's Los Feliz, NOT Felix. 😐

Also, you don't have to always buy, you can also rent a house. Just saying.

Anyway, my only points in the first place were:

Austin's house in Los Feliz was where his photoshoots were taken for the GG and SAG Awards

Austin said he moved (if anyone can find that interview for me, that would be great)

Austin and Kaia did not buy a house together. That would have certainly been reported on if they bought it together.

I don't know where Austin currently lives

I'm ending discourse on this, but if you want more house discussions, I made a post about it here:

[animentality]

the fun thing about durgetash for me as far as definitely toxic ships go, is that gortash and durge, as individuals, are toxic. but the ship itself? not toxic at all in my take. because as horrible as they are as people, the love they have for each other is actually very genuine. everyone else in the world is dust under their boots except for each other. they truly respect each other and get along frighteningly well and listen to each other and support each other’s atrocities and so, if you ignore the screaming of their victims in the background, their relationship is actually kind of healthy.

to be fair: this is with my version of them in mind lol i know other people have spicer takes where they ARE actively toxic to each other and such, and those are fun too but ive gotten so into the version of them where they both just exude toxicity to everyone in their lives EXCEPT each other. it’s already a trope im very weak to but its especially crazy with them. its like they cancel each other out somehow lol

like i think it takes a while to get to that point of course, to build up actual trust enough to feel even slightly safe around each other, but once they open up to each other the affection-starvation just jumps out. and then despite everything they manage to actually be gentle with each other. and neither of them deserves gentleness of any sort, but they get it anyway, from each other.

so for me durgetash is “toxic” only by virtue of the individuals involved being horrible terrible people, and because they gleefully support each other’s evil plans, and not because of how they actually treat each other, which is actually the closest thing to “normal” either of them will ever experience (and it is still so, so far from “normal” lol)

but it’s still also nice to be in a ship where the discourse is so obvious we don’t even bother lol. yes gortash has a list of human rights abuses longer than he is tall. yes he’s gonna have an evil cuddle with his evil partner-in-crime in their evil bedroom after a long, hard day of being evil. and i’m gonna be thinking about it <3

Anon, you get me.

I think durgetash just works because...they are so blatantly evil.

Gortash tortured a bunch of people trying to figure out how tadpoles worked, and the evidence of his crimes is in the mindflayer colony beneath Moonrise and in the Steel Watch Foundry. His Steel Watch guards literally kill children and innocent families.

The Dark Urge mentions killing (eating?) a BABY. They have killed thousands. They eat human meat. They torture people.

They both started the entire plot by being total pieces of shit.

So what are you going to do?

Cancel them???

The game cancels them.

Gortash literally got cancelled so hard his brain popped.

The Dark Urge dies in most playthroughs. They only become redeemable by literally dying and becoming a new person. Plus their life is so fucking awful, that it almost cancels out how bad they are, because they're a vessel of Bhaal, who can either choose obedience or death.

They are both so outrageously evil, you can't even be outraged.

No one on the entire planet is defending either of them.

It almost defeats itself as an argument, like, you say Gortash is horrible, and I say yeah, man. You say, the Dark Urge is evil, and I say absolutely.

But that's kind of why...a relationship between the two of them IS so good, though.

Sure, there have always been villainous ships, but...something about these jagged creatures having a soft spot for one another...

It just works.

It's...it's taking two wretched beasts, and giving them something human to hold between their claws.

How can you support them being together, but how could you deny them this?

They're so horrible, they don't deserve love, but at the same time, seeing profoundly evil people are still capable of love, and humanity is inescapable, no matter how inhuman you are...

Hmmmm.

Yes.

The worse Dark Urge and Enver are, the better Durgetash comes.

That's the wonderful conundrum.

It's honestly such a SHIP, anon.

THE Ship.

[aomiiine]

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა ·.༄࿔ RULES AND GUIDELINES

˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐖𝐑𝚰𝐓𝚰𝐍𝐆𝐒

requests are only open when I explicitly place it on my pinned post, or if I say it explicitly on one of my random/recent posts

I write with only female reader in mind because that’s the only way I’m comfortable writing

my blog is multi-fandom, as said in my about post. I will post much of known fandoms and underrated/unknown fandoms such as hellsing and kuroko’s basketball

dark content and nsfw works will be made and reblogged regularly on my blog so please filter tags like these; ‘cw.somnophilia’ ‘cw.dacryphilia’

I’m not too strict on kinks and am quite open minded, but these are the kinks that I will not write for : b3astiality, p3d0philia, scat, vomit, non-con, etc. Feel free to send an ask for reassurance about my comfort with a certain kink!

thirsts are always welcomed in my inbox, I’ll respond with a drabble if I can!! Those thoughts of yours have a high chance on escalating to a full on fic, so please don’t be shy to yap with me through my inbox <3

since I’ll also be making sfw content, minors are free to interact with said sfw content only. If I find minors interacting with my nsfw or dark content works, it’ll be a hard block from me

if I seem to be characterise a character you love a whole lot a certain way and disagree with me, please just block me without complaining in my inbox. I’ll block you if you do <3 This is my blog where I produce my own creative thoughts so just let me be.

I’ll be posting lots and lots of self-ship posts so block the tag ‘self-ship’ if you don’t want to see them

˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑳

mutuals are beyond welcomed!! I’ll probably follow you if you’re a writer, or if you simply have good vibes that I like

to break mutuals with me you can just block me on the spot. I’ll block you to break mutual as well if we don’t mingle well together/if I dislike you/your content for the sake of both of our experiences

please keep up some sort of human decency/etiquette in my inbox. I won’t respond to any blatant hate asks, but constructive criticism is okay.

I post content sporadically so don’t expect constant updates, this goes for asks too. I’ll answer them when I have time because I’d prefer putting all of my attention of answering them for my own satisfaction!! If you’ve been around my blog for a while, you’d see that I have lots to say lol

do not interact if you are : a zionist, islamphobic, homophobic, take gatekeeping much too seriously, jump to conclusions, spread anon hate, like/spread discourse, inconsiderate/unappreciative to writers, uncomfortable with what I write, therian, fujoshi, furry, racist, etc.

I use the block button freely so please do the same and block me if you want to

since I’m unable to keep track of my followers/readers 24/7, you are responsible for your own internet consumption.

do not plagiarise my works whatsoever.

[freckliedan]

https://www.tumblr.com/freckliedan/769058798077902848/im-sorry-but-if-youve-only-been-a-phannie-since?source=share

i agree with you a lot (saying this as a REALLY new phannie, ive only been here a few months). hugs.

i feel like just simply wondering if someone could be trans shouldnt necessarily be seen as 'creepy speculation', and i notice that in general (with other youtubers/celebs etc not just phan) that when fans question if they're outside of what is considered to be the 'norm' in any way (such as queer, trans, neurodivergent etc) people call them creepy, parasocial, etc. but the same is not done if fans automatically assume them to be cis, straight or neurotypical. i feel like ppl upset with dangender may possibly be seeing it incorrectly, thinking that people are saying 'because dan said/did this, that means he MUST be this' but i haven't seen a singular person who posts dangender act like that, and i follow a LOT of ppl. the vast majority of what i see isn't even speculation, it's just positivity and ppl being happy about things he said/did, and being happy that he's happy.

being trans myself, i actually feel really happy that ppl find comfort/happiness in the idea of dan being of the cisn't variety and see it as a positive and beautiful thing. in media and real life it feels like transphobia is really loud, but little things like seeing people celebrate it here is what keeps me going. i'm not personally someone who believes in the idea per se (to me dan is just dan whatever he is haha), but i like seeing people be positive about it.

of course, not everyone will fuck with stuff like dangender and they dont have to, but like you said blocking/blacklisting words is always the best way to go about that. because otherwise it can come across as demonising something that someone only does to find comfort in. my time on the internet has made me learn that it's not always a personal attack against you if they're doing something you either dont like or find uncomfy. in fact a lot of the time it's not. i say this very gently to ppl against it, a random internet user who posts dangender is not doing it to hurt you or dan.

(linked post, with a lot of great additions in the tags)

anon! i'm really late to replying to this but thank you for chipping in! i sat on a handful of asks because i didn't want to accidentally create a strong discourse or answer asks while emotionally disregulated. and then bc i forgor.

but i'm still answering bc i especially love hearing from people with different phandom experiences & opinions from me 💛 AND because i know that so many people find joy and comfort in these kinda celebrations of whatever it is dan's doing.

i think you're really hitting the nail on the head w the creepy speculation thing—i've seen this reaction be especially strongest when it comes to speculation abt transness (esp transfemininity) and autism. it's a double standard! and it's coming from unexamined prejudice.

i think learning things aren't a personal attack is probably the most important possible piece here. over the years i've seen so many people behave poorly on phannie tumblr bc their feelings of validity in their personal identity were tied to their opinion of dan or phil's identity.

this was happening about sexuality labels before dnp came out, too—people used to get nasty about defending their bisexuality or gayness. and that pretty much always came from a lack of space between self identity and percieved identity of dnp.

i have a lot of compassion and understanding for people in that boat wrt dangender, you know? especially people younger than me. i used to run several queer support groups for young people, and every time someone was being hurtful with their views on gender it came from personal struggle.

i can't like, ignore it or let it slide, though. i love my kids from those groups to this day, but they didn't just hurt each other with some of their views. they really hurt me too. it makes it easy to spot when people are coming from the same perspective on here wrt dangender, even if it might be less overt and intentional shittiness.

i don't want to play dolls online with people who are in that kind of mindset! and that's why we love the block and mute functions of online.

& i also love finding & sharing joy on here about gender bc yeah! it fucking sucks most places. but we're home here 💛