#my bro was like ‘oh it’s not that strong’ and guess what it was a 10mg edible

[asklawyer]

no connections between the stuff in this post beside that I was high af when I’ve draw them

[tapakah0]

HELPPP

Part 5 :]

Oscar got into space the only way reasonably available to him - put all his money in a stack, and then climbed on it until he reached earth orbit

Previous

Masterpost

[viaxslz]

▦ ﹒ ☆ CALLING THEM BY THIER REAL NAME ⸒ 별 ꜝ ﹫

享受 ! .°. ݁₊ 𐙚 gn!reader, cw: pet names, fluff, nothing much not proofread :P

CHAN

Pet name norm: Normally you call him everything but "Christopher" baby, babe, Channie, cuddlekoala™. he’s used to being absolutely babied. So the first time you go, “Christopher, can you pass me the remote?” His entire system reboots. He blinks at you like you just called him “Mr. Bang” in a courtroom. “Christopher…?” he repeats, slowly, suspiciously. “Are you mad at me? Did I forget an anniversary? Did I leave the fridge open again? Be honest.” 100% thinks he’s in trouble. Starts checking his calendar for any missed events, already texting Jisung like “DID I MESS UP BRO.” You’re just chilling, eating chips. “No? I just felt like it.” He softens like a microwaved marshmallow. “Oh. Okay. Just checking. But also… never do that again.” Gets dramatic: “Calling me Christopher feels like you’re about to divorce me and take the kids I don’t have.” Then pouts for 30 minutes until you call him “baby” again. Suddenly his tail is wagging. “THERE we go.” Lowkey likes it, though. Won’t admit it, but the next time you call him “Christopher” by accident, he gets a little blushy. Bonus: will use it against you if he’s being sulky. “Fine. I guess Christopher isn’t worthy of cuddles tonight.” You: “…what is wrong with you.”

MINHO

Normally, you call him things like: “babe,” “honey,” “min-min,” “grumpy cat,” or something chaotic like “my little menace.” So when you suddenly go, “Minho, can you help me with this?” He freezes. Turns to you slowly, squints. “Who’s Minho. Never met him.” Immediately acts like you just signed his death certificate. “Are we breaking up? Just tell me. I can take it.” (He cannot take it.) “Minho?” he repeats, mock-offended. “What’s next, you calling me Mr. Lee?” You: “I just… felt like using your real name?” Minho: “Well I just felt like dying a little inside.” Tries to act cool and unaffected, but he’s so dramatic behind the scenes. Lays facedown on the couch like a Victorian wife who just heard her husband say “We’re out of tea.” “You’ve been watching dramas again, haven’t you? That’s what this is. You're turning on me. Betrayal. Treachery. This is my villain origin arc.” The next day, calls you by your full government name just to “restore balance.” “Sure, [Full Name], I’ll take out the trash.” Eventually admits (grudgingly, while cuddling you under a blanket burrito) that hearing his real name from you is kinda… cute. “Just don’t make it a habit. I’m used to you being annoying and clingy.” Five minutes later, you whisper “Minho” again. Him, whispering back: “That’s it. We’re fighting. Pillow war. No survivors.”

CHANGBIN

Usually you call him stuff like “binnie,” “baby,” “cutie buff guy,” or something feral like “my gym rat prince.” So when you casually go, “Seo Changbin, can you hand me the charger?” He physically flinches. “What did you just say?” He’s staring at you like you just called him a disappointment in front of his mom. Instantly thinks he’s in trouble. “Wait wait wait, did I do something? Did I breathe wrong? Are you about to lecture me?” You: “No? I just said your name?” Changbin: “My government name?? In this house??” Dramatically clutches his chest. “You only call me Seo Changbin when you’re mad, confessing to a murder, or turning into a villain.” Starts spiraling for no reason. “Is this about the snacks I hid behind the rice cooker? Because I can explain.” Then gets all sulky. “You don’t love me anymore. It’s fine. I’ll move on. Tell the boys I died bravely.” You: “Binnie—” He perks up instantly. “Yes, that’s me. I’m Binnie. Your favorite. Your small strong man.” Pretends he’s joking, but lowkey sensitive about it. Will side-eye you for the rest of the day like a kicked puppy. “You used to call me sunshine… now I’m just Changbin…” Later that night, burrows into your neck like a koala and mumbles, “Don’t say my real name unless we’re getting married or I’m winning an award. It’s scary.” Next morning you wake up to a sticky note on the fridge: “Pet names only 😤 — Binnie ❤️💪🐻”

HYUNJIN

You're normally hitting him with the extra stuff like “angel,” “pretty prince,” “Hyunie,” “dramatic swan,” or “Michelangelo reincarnated.” So when you suddenly go, “Hyunjin, can you pass me the remote?” He goes dead silent. Eyes narrow. Jaw clenches. Paintbrush stops mid-stroke. “Excuse me?” he says like you just slapped him with a Shakespearean glove. “What happened to ‘baby’? ‘Love of my life’? ‘Muse of my soul’? Am I not your walking masterpiece anymore?” You: “I just wanted to say your name.” Hyunjin: “YOU SAY MY NAME WHEN YOU’RE CRYING INTO MY ARMS DURING A MOVIE, NOT TO ASK FOR THE REMOTE.” Paces dramatically like he’s in a K-drama about to turn evil. “I should’ve known this day would come. You’ve grown tired of me.” Actually gets quiet after that. Not sad just way too in his head. “...Do I need a new nickname? Have I lost my sparkle? Is my forehead too big today?” Ten minutes later, comes back with a list. “So I brainstormed some new pet names in case ‘Hyunjin’ is your new thing. Options include: ‘my gorgeous chaos,’ ‘hot disaster,’ or just ‘🌹.’ Thoughts?” You: “Hyunie, please chill.” He immediately melts. “THERE IT IS. I forgive you. Come cuddle me.” Bonus: if you call him “Hwang Hyunjin” he’ll drop to the floor like he’s been shot. “DON’T USE MY FULL NAME UNLESS I’M GRADUATING OR GETTING ARRESTED.”

HAN

Usually, you call him things like “baby,” “sungie,” “gremlin boy,” “my tiny chaos,” or whatever weird affectionate name pops into your head at 3 a.m. So when you go, “Jisung, can you help me with this?” He turns his head so fast it’s a miracle he doesn’t sprain something. He squints at you like you just betrayed him in a Mafia game. “Who? Who’s that? Never heard of him. Sounds like a loser.” You: “It’s literally your name.” Han: “Yeah but why would you use it? Did a demon possess you?” Immediately starts being weird about it. “Jisung? What’s next? You gonna call me ‘sir’? Should I put on a suit?” Then it hits him. He gasps. “Wait. Are we roleplaying? Is this serious? Do I need a fake backstory? I’m ready. I’m a barista who secretly writes music and you’re my mysterious customer with a tragic past.” You: “I just wanted the scissors.” Han: “Oh. Right.” Pretends he’s fine but keeps dramatically sighing and dropping hints. “Remember when you used to call me your little peanut butter cup? Good times.” Later you call him “babe” like normal and he immediately clings to you like a koala. “Thank god. I thought we were over. I was already writing a breakup mixtape in my head.” But now that you know it messes with his head, you start using “Jisung” just to be chaotic. He falls for it every time. One serious "Jisung" and he’s spiraling again. “What did I do now? I swear I didn’t eat your leftovers. That was Seungmin. Probably. Maybe.” Bonus: If you ever hit him with “Han Jisung,” he will crawl under the blanket and refuse to come out. “I’m not coming out until you say ‘gremlin baby boy of my heart’ again.” “You’re weird.”

FELIX

Normally, you call him sweet things like “Lixie,” “baby,” “sunshine,” “my little brownie,” or “deep-voiced angel from heaven.” So when you go, “Yongbok, can you grab my water bottle?” He freezes mid-step like someone just paused his simulation. Turns around slowly with those wide sparkly eyes “Did you just... call me Yongbok?” You: “Yeah?” Felix: “Did I do something wrong? Are you about to fight me? Should I sit down?” Genuinely concerned because no one uses his birth name unless it’s a government form, a relative, or someone trying to guilt trip him with childhood stories. Dramatically puts a hand on his chest “Are you mad at me? Was the hug I gave you earlier not good enough? Do you want a new hug? A deluxe hug?” You: “Felix, I’m literally just dehydrated.” Felix: “Then why are you dehydrating our relationship with this sudden formality?” He walks away muttering “Yongbok… unbelievable…” like you just told him Santa isn't real. Later shows up with your water bottle, two cookies, and a sticker he found “In case you’re mad at me. Even though I don’t know why. But I forgive you.” You: “I’m not mad, I swear.” Felix: “You called me Yongbok. I’ve been emotionally compromised.” The moment you go back to calling him “Lixie,” he lights up like a Christmas tree “There she is. My favorite person. I missed you. Please never disappear again.” Bonus: you try it again the next day just to mess with him. He clutches your arm dramatically “If you say Yongbok one more time, I’m changing your contact name to Tax Collector.”

SEUNGMIN

Usually you call him “minnie,” “puppy,” “smartass,” “grumpy cutie,” or “my favorite hater” depending on the mood. So when you hit him with a straight-faced “Kim Seungmin, can you pass me the charger?” He doesn’t even look up. Just goes, “Who died?” You: “What?” Seungmin: “You’re using my full name like we’re in court and I’m about to be sentenced. What happened. Be honest.” You: “Nothing happened, I just used your name?” Seungmin: “Okay. Well I’m scared now. And slightly offended.” Side-eyes you for a full ten minutes like you insulted his entire bloodline. “First of all, only my mom and my enemies call me Kim Seungmin. Which one are you trying to be right now.” Acts cool but he’s definitely being petty about it. “Sure. Here’s your charger, [Full Name]. Would you like anything else, ma’am?” Pretends he’s fine but starts purposely avoiding your pet names just to throw you off. “Okay, y/n. Cool shirt, y/n. Want some water, y/n?” You: “Are you okay?” Seungmin: “I was until I got government named in my own home.” Eventually you break and call him “puppy” again. He smiles, victorious, smug as hell “That’s what I thought. Now come cuddle me or I’ll start calling you by your email username.” Bonus: next time you say “Kim Seungmin,” he responds with “Present,” like he’s taking attendance “Kim Seungmin?” “Here. Emotionally wounded, but physically present.”

JEONGIN

Normally you call him stuff like “innie,” “baby,” “cutie,” or something unhinged like “my little menace in a hoodie” So when you go, “Yang Jeongin, can you help me with this?” He blinks at you like you just threatened him. “Excuse me. I know you didn’t just first-middle-last name me with your eyes like that.” You: “That’s literally just your name” Jeongin: “That’s a form of violence and I’m calling the authorities” Immediately grabs his phone “Hello, yes, I’d like to report emotional damage. Cause? My partner called me by my birth certificate name with no warning.” Stares at you in disbelief. “What happened to ‘baby’? What happened to ‘my sweet Innie who I adore more than anything’?” Starts dramatically narrating his downfall. “It all started on a rainy Tuesday when she called me Yang Jeongin. My world was never the same.” You: “You’re so dramatic.”Jeongin: “You’re so heartless.” Tries to pretend he’s joking but secretly keeps checking if you’re mad at him for real. “You’re not breaking up with me, right? Because if you are I need at least a week’s notice so I can emotionally prepare and eat ten tubs of ice cream.” You laugh and call him “innie” again. He instantly grins like a puppy and tackles you into a hug. “Okay good. I forgive you. But don’t ever scare me like that again. My heart is fragile.” Bonus: if you call him “Yang Jeongin” again just to mess with him, he’ll start responding with “Yes, [ Full Name], do you need assistance?” and bow like a waiter at a fancy restaurant

PERM TAGLIST 📌🔖 ──── @the-sea-called-history02 @oc3anfloor @queenofdumbfuckery @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @my-neurodivergent-world @bookswillfindyouaway @beal-o @velvetmoonlght @straystar-8 @myhwnghynjin

[sanni276]

*Tim and Kon sitting on one of the couches in Titan's Tower*

*Kon suddenly turning to Tim*: Tim my best bro, you need to help me.

Tim: Sure. What's going on?

Kon: There is this guy I really really like but I just don't know how to tell him because everytime I flirt with him he thinks I am just joking and whenever I ask him to go out, just the two of us he answers me with: "Oh! This and this friend will love that! We should totally all go together.".

Tim internally freaking out: He likes guys? He likes a specific guy? Wait, does this mean I could have a chance with him? No, that's stupid he already said he likes someone else. Does this mean that I'm not even an option when Kon likes guys? No why am I only thinking about what this means for me? I am a horrible friend and-

Tim externally: Well what exactly do you like about him?

Kon *with a soft smile*: Everything. He's smart, somehow handsome and pretty at the same time, he is strong and good at fighting and sometimes he does things that just infuriate me and we argue but he is probably the best thing that ever happend to me and if he asked me to become supervillains and take over the world with him I would so without a seond thought.

Tim *literally crying on the inside because he's pretty sure he could be all of these things if he tried*: Then tell him that. After that say something like "I really like you and wanted to ask if you would like to go on a date with me sometime" If he still doesn't get it after all that then he is probably just not interested in you but too nice to outright say it.

Kon suddenly seriously looking Tim in the eyes: Tim, you are smart, somehow the most handsome and prettiest man i have laid my eyes upon at the same time, you are strong and and so good at everything you do and Rao you infuriate me sometimes but I wouldn't change anything about you for the world because you were there every single time I needed someone and I'm afraid ou are my favourite person and that I would sacrifice everything for you. You are my biggest weakness. My Kryptonite. I really really like you, and wanted to ask if you would like to go on a date with me sometime.

Tim: Yeah. Just like that. I'm sure whoever this mystery guy is will instantly fold. Sorry Kon, I think you're gonna have to excuse me now because Bruce wants me back in Gotham.

*Tim runs away to cry in his room and then mope about his crush for the next 2-17 buisness days*

Kon left behind head in his hands: Dude...Just tell me if you don't like me.

Kon is completly convinced that Tim knows how he feels since he is literally the best detective in the world (Yes. Even better than Batman) and there is absolutely no way he didn't get Kon's confession. Tim does infact not know.

Much to the infuriation and pain of everyone that somehow knows them it takes them another three weeks to realize their feelings are mutual and in fat not unrequited.

Except Cassandra: She had guessed the date excactly right and she won a lot of money. (there was a betting pool)

[that-bat]

Exploding them with my mind

Transcript:

Impulse: "Did you see you and Skizz by the fire out there?"

Tango: "No"

Skizz: "What's up?"

Tango: "Oh"

Impulse and Tango: *laughs*

Tango: "Ehh looking good, look at that physique, yeah!"

Skizz: "So, is it- I get all the static from Grian and Gem when we're playing Guess the Build for not putting clothes on people, why would they do this to me and Tango? What kind of camping trip do they think Tango and I go on?"

Tango: *laughing* "Camping trip"

Impulse: "Think? Oh, they've heard the stories"

Tango: "Oh yeah"

Scar: "What stories about naked camping with Skizz and Tango?"

Skizz: "There's no such thing and don't say that stuff out loud on the internet!"

Impulse: "They like to reenact the show Naked and Afraid so they go in the wilderness buck naked for 21 days to see if they can survive it"

Tango: (overlapping) "Absolutely, it's so good"

Scar: "Oh my god"

Tango: "Just hanging around the campfire, roast our chestnuts on the open fire"

Impulse: (overlapping) "I heard they made it like 8 days last time which is pretty impressive"

Skizz: "Tango's always the one- he's always the one who's like "I'm cold, we have to- we have to, you know, we have to- our body heat"

Tango: (overlapping) "We have to skadoodle, yeah"

Skizz: ""We have to skadoodle" and I'm like "we're not even out of the car yet, bro""

Scar: "Together we're strong"

Impulse: "It is kind of odd that he always calls big spoon considering he's the smaller one between you two, but whatever"

Tango: *laughs* "It's not about how tall you are, I mean"

Skizz: "It just looks like I'm wearing a backpack"

Impulse and Tango: *laughs*

Tango: "It's like Luke Skywalker when he was carrying Yoda in Empire Strikes Back"

Scar: "Did you guys see Andor?"

*more laughing*

Tango: *Yoda impression* "Oh, to the naked forest we will go"

[kaiyunsim]

heartsync —

pairing : loser!jaehyun x gn!reader

summary : boring days lead you to download the stupidly popular ai matchmaking app, 'heartsync,' thinking that you would be matched with a bot. next thing you know, you have to maintain a dating score with this loser guy in order to avoid a hefty cancellation fee

warnings : fluff, slight angst, lowkey embarssing jaehyun, kinda fake dating,

a/n : i am addicted to losers. also writers block lwk hitting me so sorry if this isn't that good :(

— wc : 9.2k — not proof read —

notification !

tired of swiping and second-guessing? 🙄 let HeartSync™ match you based on more than just profiles. whether it’s fate or algorithms, HeartSync™ brings people together in unexpected ways. coffee shops ☕, grocery stores 🛒, or even your favorite songs 🎶. with personalized challenges 🎯 and quirky tasks 😏, it’s the app that makes you question what’s real… and what’s meant to be 💫.

ready to dive into a relationship that’s anything but ordinary? 😏 download now and let your heart sync ❤️‍🔥

you should’ve known something was up the second kazuha slid her phone across the table with a sly grin.

"you need this," she says, all too pleased with herself.

sungho leans in beside her, chin resting on his hand. "oh, absolutely. it’s the next big thing."

you glance down at the screen, unimpressed. "heartsync™? that sounds like a scam."

"it’s not," kazuha insists. "it's a revolution."

you narrow your eyes at her. "revolution is a strong word for a dating app."

sungho gestures wildly. "no, listen! this isn’t some basic swiping app. heartsync is, like, the future. ai-driven, hyper-accurate matchmaking." he wiggles his fingers in an attempt to look mysterious. "it scans all your online activity, text patterns, subconscious preferences—"

"wait, subconscious preferences?" you interrupt. "how the hell does it know what i subconsciously want?"

"science," kazuha says, as if that explains anything.

you stare at them, unimpressed. "so you’re telling me this thing invades my privacy, judges me, and then picks out some rando for me to date?"

"yep," sungho grins.

"hard pass."

kazhua sighs dramatically. "you’re so boring. come on, think about it. what if it actually works?"

"it won’t."

"but what if it does?"

you cross your arms. "i give it a week before i get matched with some weird middle-aged man who lives in his mom’s basement."

sungho gasps. "have a little faith, will you?!"

you snort, but kazuha suddenly looks too smug for your liking. before you can question it, your phone buzzes. you glance down.

"your friends are looking out for you! 💖 kazuha has sent you an invite to join heartsync™! experience true compatibility today. 💘"

you slowly raise your head. "zuha, did you just—"

"yep," she says.

"you—"

"it’s already downloading," sungho chimes in.

you look down at your phone in horror. sure enough, the app is installing.

"oh my god.”

jaehyun doesn’t even look up from his drink when taesan slides into the seat across from him, grinning like he’s about to be a menace.

"bro," taesan says, setting his phone down dramatically. "i found the solution to your dry-ass dating life."

jaehyun finally glances up. "i have a dating life."

woonhak, sitting beside him, lets out an exaggerated cough.

jaehyun glares. "shut up."

"he's not wrong," taesan snickers. "c’mon, look at this." he turns his phone around, revealing a sleek interface. jaehyun squints.

"heartsync?"

"ai-powered matchmaking, man. scientifically proven to find your perfect match."

jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "you sound like a bad infomercial."

woonhak leans in. "we already signed up. it’s, like, next-level tech. the app literally studies your habits, patterns, even your subconscious preferences."

jaehyun blinks. "that sounds illegal."

"nah, nah, just invasive," taesan says. "but in a good way."

jaehyun scoffs. "no such thing."

"just try it," woonhak says. "worst case, you get matched with someone weird and you ghost them."

"oh, so now i’m ghosting people?"

"what, like you don’t?" taesan smirks.

jaehyun rolls his eyes, but his phone suddenly buzzes.

"your best bros have your back! 💙 taesan has invited you to join heartsync™! what are you waiting for? your perfect match is waiting! 😉"

he looks up slowly. "you did not just—"

"i did," taesan grins.

woonhak claps him on the back. "welcome to the future, buddy."

jaehyun sighs. "you guys are the worst."

"and yet, here you are, downloading it," taesan singsongs.

jaehyun looks down at his phone. the app is downloading.

"...i hate you both."

setting up the app is way too easy. after a quick sign-up, a series of personality quizzes appear. you answer them halfheartedly, picking whatever feels right in the moment.

you expect a generic dating profile, but instead, a contract pops up.

"welcome to heartsync™'s exclusive perfect pair program! 💖 congratulations! by signing up, you agree to a 30-day trial relationship with your most compatible match. failure to complete the program will result in a penalty fee. please review the terms carefully. 📝"

you frown. "wait. penalty fee?"

kazhua leans over. "probably just a deterrent. no way they actually charge people."

"i don’t like this."

"it’s fine, just hit accept."

you squint at her, but against your better judgment, you press the button.

jaehyun does the same thing across town, equally suspicious.

then, both your phones buzz simultaneously.

"congratulations! 🎉 you’ve been matched! meet your perfect pair: myung jaehyun."

"congratulations! 🎉 you’ve been matched! meet your perfect pair: y/n."

jaehyun squints at his screen. "who the hell is y/n?"

you stare at yours. "who the hell is myung jaehyun?"

then, another notification.

"your first date has been scheduled! 🥰 see you at [reastaurant] tomorrow at 7 PM! remember: love is about commitment! 💞 failure to attend will result in a violation of your contract. 😘"

your stomach drops.

"...i think i just got scammed."

jaehyun, staring at the exact same message, mutters, "what the fuck?"

sungho and kazuha are dying.

"you’re stuck in a relationship for 30 days?!" sungho wheezes. "oh my god, i’m crying."

"this is the best thing that’s ever happened," kazuha says, wiping a fake tear.

you glare. "it’s not funny!"

"it’s hilarious," sungho corrects.

you groan. "this is the worst decision of my life."

kazhua gasps. "are you saying you regret trusting me?"

"yes."

"rude."

meanwhile, jaehyun is getting absolutely clowned on by his friends.

"so let me get this straight," taesan says, grinning like an idiot. "you’re contractually obligated to date this person?"

jaehyun rubs his temples. "apparently."

woonhak snickers. "bro. you’re trapped."

"i hate you both."

"nah," taesan says. "you love us. just like you’re about to love your new partner."

jaehyun looks up with dead eyes. "i hope the app malfunctions and matches you with each other."

woonhak gasps. "how dare you!"

"that would be so tragic," taesan grins. "imagine getting stuck in a relationship with woonhak."

woonhak shoves him. "shut up! i’d be a great boyfriend!"

jaehyun groans. "i cannot believe i let you guys talk me into this."

but before either of them can reply, his phone buzzes again.

"just a reminder! ❤️ your first date is TOMORROW at 7 PM! 💕 don’t keep your perfect match waiting! 😘 failure to attend will result in consequences. 🔥"

jaehyun stares at it.

"...i think i just signed my soul away."

you, staring at the exact same notification, sigh deeply.

what have you gotten yourself into?

...what?

you quickly scroll down. there’s a long wall of text in tiny font. definitely the terms and conditions you skimmed through without reading.

"effective immediately, you are required to actively participate in this relationship for the full 30-day duration. early termination will result in a penalty fee of—"

you freeze.

oh, hell no.

the penalty fee is HOW MUCH?!

"guys," you say, voice flat. "i think i just got scammed."

kazuh and sungho exchange glances. kazuha grabs your phone again and scrolls. her eyebrows shoot up. "holy shit. you’re stuck?"

"define stuck," you say, already dreading the answer.

sungho reads further. "...yep. stuck. you gotta go on dates, talk to this guy, and if you try to ignore him, the app gets passive-aggressive about it."

as if on cue, a new notification pops up.

"ghosting is unhealthy! say hi to your partner within the next 12 hours to maintain a positive relationship score. 💕"

you stare at the screen in horror.

kazuha and sungho? already laughing their asses off.

"this is the best thing that’s ever happened," sungho wheezes.

"no, no, this is cursed," you say, shaking your head. "there has to be a way out of this."

sungho grins. "you could pay the fee."

"i’m not paying that much just to escape some ai-manufactured relationship," you grumble.

kazuh, still laughing, pats your shoulder. "guess you’re dating myung jaehyun now."

somewhere else, jaehyun is also freaking out.

"taesan, what the hell did you make me sign up for?"

jaehyun stares at his phone like it just personally betrayed him.

"you got matched?" taesan asks, amused. he leans over jaehyun’s shoulder to check. "ohhh. wait. you actually got someone decent-looking. nice."

"not nice!" jaehyun exclaims, shoving his phone in taesan’s face. "look at this! it’s a contract. i have to date this person for 30 days or i have to pay an insane fee."

taesan reads for a second, then bursts out laughing. "holy shit. you’re trapped."

"why didn’t you tell me this could happen?!"

"because i didn’t think you’d actually get a match."

"what do i do?" jaehyun groans, scratching the back of his head.

"just go with it," taesan says. "it’s only a month. fake-date them, get some free meals, and worst-case scenario, you make a new friend."

jaehyun grumbles. "what if they suck?"

"what if you suck?"

"i mean, yeah, probably," jaehyun admits. "but still."

his phone buzzes.

"say hi to your partner within 12 hours to maintain a positive relationship score! 💕"

jaehyun stares blankly at the notification. then he looks at taesan.

"okay, but, like… do i get a refund if i cry?"

taesan cackles. "nope. no refunds, buddy. enjoy your new relationship."

jaehyun groans and flops onto the couch, phone balanced on his chest, already regretting everything.

you’re still convinced you’ve been scammed.

it’s not just the fact that you’re contractually obligated to go on this date, it’s the restaurant.

"how the hell did it know?" you mutter, staring at the notification again.

sungho leans over your shoulder, reading it for the tenth time. "i mean… it’s a little creepy."

"it’s very creepy," you correct. "i’ve never put this place in my location history, never mentioned it online, never even texted about it."

kazuha hums, sipping her drink. "maybe you thought about it too hard and the app just knew."

you look at her like she’s insane. "you’re telling me heartsync can read my mind now?"

"i mean, why not? it already owns your soul."

"not helping."

sungho suddenly perks up, squinting at the name on your screen. "wait. myung jaehyun?"

"yeah?"

he snaps his fingers. "oh! i had a class with him last year."

you blink. "and you’re only mentioning this now?"

sungho shrugs. "i forgot. but, uh…" he pauses. "he’s kinda a loser. in a cute way."

you stare at him. "define cute loser."

"like, y’know. a little awkward. kinda clumsy. but he’s not a bad guy."

kazuha raises an eyebrow. "so what i’m hearing is, you’ve already got an advantage."

"what advantage?" you ask flatly.

"you can be the cool one in this relationship," she says, smirking.

sungho grins. "oh yeah, you’ve already won."

you groan, sinking into your seat. "why am i even doing this?"

"because you’re legally bound by a contract," kazuha reminds you.

"right. love that for me."

jaehyun has the same problem.

"this is weird," he mutters, staring at his phone.

woonhak peeks over his shoulder. "dude, how did it know your favorite restaurant?"

"i don’t know."

"have you ever posted about it?" taesan asks.

"nope."

"checked in there?"

"never."

woonhak whistles. "yeah, that’s terrifying."

jaehyun groans. "why am i even going?"

taesan pats his shoulder. "because you’re legally bound by a contract."

jaehyun glares. "i hate you."

you arrive at the restaurant five minutes early, because despite your skepticism, you do respect punctuality.

what you don’t expect is to see someone already waiting at the entrance.

he's tall, a little awkward in the way he shifts on his feet, checking his phone. glasses slipping down his nose.

you approach cautiously. "...myung jaehyun?"

he looks up, blinking.

oh.

he’s kinda cute. in a loser-y way.

"oh," he says. "uh. hey."

you stare at each other for a beat.

jaehyun scratches the back of his neck. "so, uh… this is weird, right?"

"extremely."

he lets out a short laugh. "cool, just making sure."

you glance at the restaurant. "wanna get this over with?"

"yep."

you head inside together.

the weirdness doesn’t stop there.

you both open the menu, and your phones buzz at the same time.

"feeling indecisive? 💡 you both love the same dish! try the spicy seafood pasta! 🍝💖"

you slowly look up at jaehyun.

he looks back, expression unreadable.

"...so, uh," you start.

"are we just gonna ignore that?" he asks.

"we could."

jaehyun nods. "cool. because that was terrifying."

you both order the pasta anyway.

somewhere between the appetizer and the main course, the awkwardness starts to fade.

you’re still skeptical, but… conversation with jaehyun is weirdly easy.

he’s funny in an unintentional way. a little clumsy with his words, but quick to laugh at himself. it’s not what you expected.

"so," he says between bites, "are you, like, willingly doing this, or were you also tricked by your so-called friends?"

you groan. "tricked. sungho and kazuha set me up."

"ah," jaehyun nods. "taesan and woonhak did the same to me."

"so we’re both victims."

"basically."

you clink your glasses in mutual suffering.

then, another notification.

"running out of things to talk about? try reminiscing about your childhood talent show disaster! 😆✨"

you both freeze.

jaehyun slowly looks up. "...did your phone just say—?"

"yep," you cut in.

"what the hell?"

"no idea."

you stare at each other.

then jaehyun cautiously asks, "...did you actually have a childhood talent show disaster?"

you hesitate. "...maybe."

his eyes widen. "no way."

"look, it wasn’t that bad—"

"tell me everything."

you sigh, defeated. "i was seven, okay? i was supposed to sing. i got up there, forgot all the words, panicked, and ended up just dancing instead."

jaehyun claps. "improv! i respect that."

"bad improv," you correct.

"still, you committed. that’s what matters.”

and just like that, the skepticism eases.

then the app sends another notification.

"bonding over past failures? we love to see it! 😍💕 by the way, your partner thinks the nickname 'woonbaby' is hilarious. go ahead, try it! 😏"

you blink.

jaehyun reads his own notification.

then he looks at you, face slowly turning red.

"...what the fuck?"

you can’t help it. you laugh. "what the hell is woonbaby?"

jaehyun groans, covering his face. "it’s—it’s stupid. my friend woonhak. someone called him that once and it just stuck."

"oh my god," you grin. "you definitely still call him that."

"i do not," jaehyun lies.

you raise an eyebrow. "so if you text him right now and ask, he won’t confirm?"

jaehyun opens his mouth, then closes it.

"...no comment."

you cackle.

"oh my god," jaehyun mutters, slumping in his seat. "i hate this app."

"i love this app," you say gleefully.

by the time the bill arrives, you have to admit something.

this was not a disaster.

you’re still weirded out by the app’s accuracy. it’s unsettling how well it seems to know you both.

but jaehyun?

...he’s not so bad.

"so," he says as you both step outside, hands in pockets. "same time next week?"

you blink. "what?"

he holds up his phone.

"congrats! 🎉 your next date is scheduled for next friday! love takes consistency! 💖 ditching is not an option. 😉"

you groan. "again?"

"yep."

"...fine."

jaehyun grins. "see you then, partner."

you shake your head, but you can’t help the small smile forming.

what the hell have you gotten yourself into?

—

you’re in the middle of something important when your phone buzzes.

"surprise! 🎉 we’ve scheduled a spontaneous date night for you and jaehyun! quality time is crucial for growing relationships! 💕 see you at 7PM! 😘"

you stare at the screen.

then you glance at the time.

6:20PM.

"are you kidding me?" you say aloud.

sungho and kazuha look up from where they’re sprawled across your couch, watching a drama. "what?" kazuha asks.

"this stupid app just scheduled a date."

"wait, i thought your next one wasn’t until friday," sungho says.

"it was," you emphasize. "now it’s tonight. at seven."

sungho winces. "oh, that’s rough."

kazuha squints. "can’t you just cancel?"

you shake your head and turn your screen to them.

"cancelling is NOT an option! 🫵😤 love takes EFFORT! 💖"

kazuha snorts. "damn. that app is really holding you hostage."

you sigh. "i hate this."

sungho shrugs. "on the bright side, at least jaehyun is fun to mess with."

you scowl, but you don’t argue.

jaehyun is having an equally miserable time.

"you have got to be kidding me," he groans.

taesan and woonhak glance up from where they’re messing around on the studio couch. "what?" woonhak asks.

jaehyun turns his phone to them.

taesan squints. "another date? bro, you just had one."

"i know," jaehyun says, exasperated. "i have work to do!"

"just reschedule," woonhak suggests.

jaehyun gives him a deadpan look and flips his phone back around.

"cancelling is NOT an option! 🫵😤 love takes EFFORT! 💖"

woonhak bursts out laughing. "nah, this is hilarious."

"i hate this app," jaehyun mutters.

"okay, but like," taesan leans forward, "where are you even supposed to take them? don’t you have to finish your demo?"

jaehyun groans, rubbing his face. "yeah. i do."

he stares at his screen for a second, then sighs. "i guess they’re just coming here."

woonhak and taesan exchange glances.

"bold," woonhak comments.

"risky," taesan adds.

jaehyun throws a notebook at them.

you’re about five seconds away from ghosting when your phone buzzes.

myung jaehyun: uh. slight change of plans myung jaehyun: i’m stuck in the studio bc i have work to finish myung jaehyun: so if you’re cool with it, you can just come here?

you stare at the message.

then you sigh.

you: send me the address

a moment later, it comes through.

you grab your things and head out, still half-annoyed, half-curious about what you’re walking into.

jaehyun’s studio is tucked away in a quieter part of the city, the kind of place you’d probably never stumble upon unless you were looking for it.

the building itself is older, but inside, it’s got that warm, slightly chaotic energy of a space that’s lived in.

post-it notes are stuck to random surfaces. half-full water bottles clutter the desks. a worn couch sits against the wall, surrounded by tangled cables and spare equipment.

jaehyun is hunched over the desk, headphones around his neck, messy hair even messier than usual. he spins in his chair when you walk in, eyes slightly wide.

"oh. hey."

"hey," you say, glancing around. "so this is where the magic happens?"

"uh," jaehyun scratches the back of his neck, "something like that."

you step further inside, taking in the mix of instruments, wires, and open project files on the screen.

"you work here alone?"

"nah," jaehyun gestures vaguely. "woonhak and taesan share this space with me, but they’re not here right now."

"cool."

an awkward pause.

jaehyun clears his throat. "so, uh… i do have to work, but you can hang out? there’s snacks in that cabinet, and the couch is—"

you flop onto the couch before he can finish his sentence.

jaehyun blinks. "—yeah. okay. make yourself at home."

you grin. "thanks, host."

jaehyun groans but turns back to his screen, muttering something about "stupid app forcing dates at the worst times."

you watch him for a moment as he scrolls through his project.

his sleeves are pushed up, revealing the faint ink stains on his fingers. his foot taps absently against the floor as he listens to the playback.

you close your eyes and let the soft hum of music fill the space.

time passes.

jaehyun works. you scroll through your phone, occasionally glancing up to watch him tweak something in his file.

it’s… oddly peaceful.

you get up and sit down at the desk next to him, he’s too immersed to acknowldge you.

despite the forced nature of this whole situation, there’s something nice about sitting in a space where someone is just doing what they love.

you start to relax.

and at some point, without even meaning to, you start to drift off.

jaehyun only notices when he turns around to say something and sees you slumped over the desk next to him, head resting on your arms.

he freezes.

stares.

panics.

oh shit oh shit oh shit.

you’re asleep.

here. in his studio.

jaehyun is hyperaware of everything. the quiet rise and fall of your breathing. the way your fingers are curled slightly, like you were mid-scroll before you passed out.

he has no idea what to do.

should he wake you up? would that be rude? but if he doesn’t, is that weirder?

he’s still spiraling when the door swings open.

"forgot my charger," taesan says, stepping inside. "also, i’m stealing your—"

he stops.

jaehyun can feel the moment taesan processes the scene in front of him.

then—

"holy shit."

jaehyun whips around. "shut up."

taesan grins. "no way. you’re actually—"

"shut. up."

taesan snickers. "oh, this is amazing."

jaehyun glares. "don’t. start."

but it’s too late. taesan is already pulling out his phone.

"bro," he whispers, cackling, "you’re literally watching them like they’re a rare bird species."

"i am not," jaehyun hisses.

"you so are. oh my god."

jaehyun is about to throw something when you shift slightly, letting out a soft sigh.

both of them freeze.

taesan vibrates with silent laughter.

jaehyun, who is now very much contemplating murder, snaps, "get your stupid charger and leave."

taesan holds his hands up in surrender, still grinning. "alright, alright. relax, lover boy."

jaehyun throws a notebook at him.

taesan leaves.

jaehyun exhales, running a hand through his hair.

he turns back to you.

you’re still asleep, breathing steady, face relaxed.

he sighs.

and despite himself, despite the utter embarrassment of this entire situation…

he can’t help the small, stupid smile that tugs at his lips.

this app is so dumb.

but maybe…

just maybe…

it’s onto something.

you wake up slowly, the kind of hazy drift between sleep and awareness where you don’t quite remember where you are.

there’s the soft hum of music. the faint scratch of a pen. the scent of something vaguely citrusy, mixed with the underlying warmth of a well-used space.

then—

"finally awake?"

you blink blearily. jaehyun is sitting at the desk, spinning a pen between his fingers, watching you with an amused expression.

reality clicks into place.

the studio. the forced date. you, falling asleep like an idiot.

you groan, rubbing your face. "how long was i out?"

jaehyun shrugs. "an hour? maybe more?"

you wince. "why didn’t you wake me up?"

"you looked comfortable," he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

you stare at him.

jaehyun stares back.

heat creeps up the back of your neck. you push it down and scowl instead. "so you just let me drool all over your desk?"

"you didn’t drool," jaehyun says. then, after a pause, "probably."

you groan again and stretch, the stiffness in your neck making you regret everything. "well, thanks for that. i guess."

jaehyun chuckles, spinning back to his screen. "anytime."

you roll your eyes but don’t fight the small smile threatening to form.

you end up staying.

it’s not like you planned to, but the vibe is easy, and jaehyun is… well.

he’s kind of nice to be around.

he works while you scroll through your phone, occasionally showing him something stupid that makes him snort. at one point, he grabs a bag of chips from a shelf and wordlessly hands it to you.

"what’s this for?" you ask.

"you skipped dinner."

you blink. "how do you know?"

jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "because i also skipped dinner, and i didn’t see you eat anything either."

…fair point.

you take the bag and mumble a thanks. jaehyun just shrugs like it’s no big deal.

somewhere between talking about absolutely nothing, watching him edit his project, and accidentally getting crumbs all over the desk, you start to forget that this whole thing was a forced date.

it doesn’t feel like one anymore.

and you don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

it’s nearly midnight when you check your phone and realize how late it’s gotten.

"shit," you mutter.

jaehyun glances up. "huh?"

"i should probably go."

he blinks, like he just processed the time himself. "oh. right."

you stand, stretching again, then glance at him. "you gonna keep working?"

"for a bit," jaehyun says, rubbing his neck. "i’m almost done."

you nod, then hesitate.

you’re not sure why you hesitate.

but before you can overthink it, you blurt out, "this wasn’t that bad."

jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "wow. high praise."

"shut up," you say, rolling your eyes.

he grins. "but yeah. wasn’t that bad."

you huff, grabbing your things. "see you friday, loser."

"see you, drooler."

you flip him off as you walk out the door.

jaehyun just laughs.

as you head home, your phone buzzes.

"congrats! 🎉 you’ve just completed an unplanned date! we bet you had a GREAT time 😘💖 can’t wait for friday! 😍"

you stare at the notification.

then you scoff, shaking your head.

stupid app.

—

you just want your morning coffee.

that’s it. just a simple, peaceful start to your day before dealing with actual responsibilities.

but when you step into the coffee shop, your usual one, the one you’ve been going to for years, you freeze.

because sitting right there, hunched over his phone with slight dark circles under his eyes and a half-finished iced americano in front of him, is myung jaehyun.

he doesn’t notice you at first. he just stares blankly at his screen, blinking slow like a loading error. he’s so out of it that when the barista calls out his order, he doesn’t even react.

so, naturally, you decide to make his life harder.

"myung jaehyun," you say, loud enough for half the café to hear.

he flinches like you just smacked him.

"huh?!"

"your coffee," you deadpan, nodding towards the counter.

he follows your gaze, then blinks again. "oh. right."

you snort as he stumbles up to grab it, still looking half-asleep.

when he returns to his seat, you’re still standing there, arms crossed.

"what?" he mumbles.

"this is my coffee shop."

jaehyun squints at you. "…what?"

"i come here every morning," you say, pointing at the barista like they can somehow confirm this.

jaehyun shrugs. "cool. i came here because my app said it had ‘the best morning recharge.’"

you frown. "your app?"

"heartsync," he says, yawning. "you know. the app that ruined our lives?"

your stomach drops. "you’re kidding."

jaehyun pulls out his phone and flashes the notification at you. sure enough.

"rise and shine! 🌞 grab your perfect morning pick-me-up at caffeine fix! ☕✨"

your jaw clenches. you also got a similar notification this morning.

slowly, your eyes meet. "okay," you say. "this is weird."

jaehyun hums, sipping his coffee. "yeah. but whatever. i needed caffeine."

you stare at him, offended. "so you’re just accepting this?"

"i mean, if the app is forcing me to get good coffee, i won’t complain," he says, completely unserious.

you hate that he’s taking this so lightly. you hate that he doesn’t even seem surprised.

you snatch his coffee and take a sip.

"hey!" jaehyun protests.

you smack it back down on the table. "that’s for being weirdly okay with this."

he just glares at you, rubbing his temples. "i just woke up. can you at least let me suffer in peace?"

you sigh, pulling out a chair. "fine. but i’m sitting here now. just to make sure you don’t pass out or something."

jaehyun looks at you, surprised. then he grins. "aww. you care."

you grab a sugar packet and chuck it at his forehead.

after that, you make a decision.

you’re not going to see jaehyun for a while.

not because you mind him. he’s fine. whatever. but because there’s something unnerving about the way this stupid app is leading you to each other like rats in some kind of romantic lab experiment.

so the next morning, you take a different route to work.

and by "different," you mean you add twenty minutes to your commute just to be safe.

you’re feeling pretty good about yourself until you stop by a grocery store later that evening—

and jaehyun is right there, staring at a shelf of instant ramen like it personally betrayed him.

you freeze. he looks up.

silence.

"are you kidding me?" you groan, dragging a hand down your face.

jaehyun just stares at you. "you’re the one who just walked in."

"yeah, but i specifically avoided my usual route just to make sure this wouldn’t happen," you argue.

"okay, well, i was just trying to get food," he says, exasperated. "i ran out of ramen."

you narrow your eyes. "don’t tell me your app told you to come here."

he hesitates.

then he holds up his phone.

"craving a late-night snack? 🤤🍜 don’t worry, we got you! swing by mart express—you never know who you might run into! 😉"

you want to throw something.

instead, you march up to him, grab his phone, and put it on airplane mode.

jaehyun blinks. "…what are you doing."

"fixing our problem," you say, pulling out your own phone and doing the same.

jaehyun stares at you for a moment. then, to your surprise, he actually nods. "okay," he says. "good plan."

you blink. "wait. you’re not gonna fight me on this?"

he shrugs. "nah. the app is getting creepy."

you fold your arms. "so you do think it’s weird?"

"i always thought it was weird," jaehyun says. "i just don’t care as much as you do."

you glare at him, but he’s already turning back to the ramen shelf like this whole conversation didn’t just happen.

unbelievable.

you leave the store together, mostly because your places are in the same general direction.

except five minutes in, jaehyun suddenly stops walking.

"shit," he mutters.

"what?" you ask.

he sighs. "i don’t know how to get home."

you stare at him. "you what."

"i always use my phone for directions!" he says, waving his arms. "but i turned it off, and now i’m lost."

you pinch the bridge of your nose. "you’re unbelievable."

"hey, you told me to turn it off!"

"because we were being manipulated!"

"well, congrats, now i’m gonna die on the street because of you."

"oh my god," you groan. "just—fine. where do you live?"

jaehyun tells you the address. you stare at him.

"jaehyun," you say. "that’s literally ten minutes from my place."

jaehyun blinks. "…oh."

you squint at him. "have you been taking the long way home this entire time?"

he scratches his head. "maybe?"

you don’t know whether to laugh or hit him.

instead, you just sigh and grab his wrist.

"come on," you say, dragging him in the right direction. "i’ll walk you."

jaehyun doesn’t protest.

but when you glance at him, he’s smiling.

you get him home without issue.

when you stop in front of his building, jaehyun turns to you.

"thanks," he says, rubbing his neck. "and, uh. good job fighting the system, i guess."

you snort. "yeah. whatever."

he grins, but there’s something softer in it this time.

"see you around?" he asks.

you hesitate.

then you sigh. "probably."

jaehyun laughs. "probably."

you don’t check your phone again until you’re home.

when you do, you have one new notification.

"aw, how sweet! 🥰 you make such a great team! 💕"

you groan, rolling your eyes. the off the grid mode didn’t work.

“so,” sungho says, dragging out the word like he’s about to be annoying.

you look up from your phone, raising an eyebrow. “so?”

sungho smirks. “how’s myung jaehyun?”

you blink. “why are you asking like that?”

“oh, no reason,” he says, very unconvincingly. “you just seem to see him a lot.”

you scoff. “that’s because this stupid app won’t leave us alone.”

“mhm.”

“it literally forced us to meet up.”

“sure.”

you glare at him. “i don’t like him, if that’s what you’re implying.”

sungho just hums. “never said you did.”

you hate him.

“anyway,” you say, aggressively changing the subject. “when are you free? let’s get dinner or something.”

sungho shrugs. “ask jaehyun. you seem to hang out with him more than me these days.”

you chuck a pillow at his face.

on jaehyun’s end, taesan is just as bad.

“so, you and your soulmate have been seeing each other a lot.”

jaehyun groans. “don’t call them that.”

“why not? isn’t that what the app says?” taesan teases.

jaehyun sighs, tilting his head back against the couch. “we don’t even take it seriously.”

“and yet you still see them outside of what the app says.”

“it just happens,” jaehyun defends.

“right.”

jaehyun doesn’t even bother arguing. it’s taesan. nothing he says will change his mind once he starts being annoying.

instead, he just mutters, “i don’t even like them like that.”

taesan snorts. “yeah. okay.”

jaehyun scowls at him. “i don’t.”

taesan grins. “never said you did.”

jaehyun glares at him.

taesan only laughs.

but the truth is—

neither of you mind seeing each other.

the notification hits your phone at the worst possible time, mid-bite into a sandwich, your mouth too full to properly react as you stare at the bolded text on the screen.

💖 heartsync™ challenge: surprise your match with a meaningful gift! don’t forget! thoughtfulness is key! 🎁

you narrow your eyes. a meaningful gift?

sungho, sitting across from you, glances at your phone and snorts. “oh, this is good. what are you gonna get him?”

you finish chewing before deadpanning, “a rock.”

sungho almost chokes on his drink.

jaehyun gets the same notification while lying on his bed, aimlessly scrolling through his phone. he barely processes it at first, but then—

a meaningful gift.

he groans, rubbing his face. "why is this starting to feel like a real relationship?"

“because it is a real relationship,” taesan says from his desk, not looking up from his laptop.

“it’s not,” jaehyun argues immediately.

“sure,” taesan replies, unconvinced.

jaehyun sighs. “what even counts as meaningful?”

taesan finally looks at him, unimpressed. “you’re the one dating them.”

“fake dating,” jaehyun corrects.

“sure,” taesan repeats.

jaehyun groans again.

you decide to put some effort into it.

not because you care or anything, but because you know jaehyun will definitely try, and you don’t want to look like an asshole in comparison.

you wander through a store, scanning the shelves for something that could count as thoughtful.

jaehyun gives off dog energy, doesn’t he?

you frown. that’s weird to think about. but it’s true. he’s clumsy, a little dumb, but weirdly endearing.

then, you spot it.

a plush keychain. a little golden retriever with floppy ears and big, round eyes.

you hesitate before picking it up.

it’s stupid. but it’s also… kind of perfect.

you buy it before you can second-guess yourself.

jaehyun, meanwhile, is just as lost.

he walks through a store with woonhak, who has been absolutely no help.

“why don’t you just get them a candle?” woonhak suggests.

jaehyun sighs. “that’s not meaningful.”

“depends on the scent.”

“woonhak.”

“fine.” woonhak gestures vaguely. “what do they even like?”

jaehyun pauses.

he… actually knows quite a bit. their favorite color, the snacks they always buy, the way they take their coffee—

he stops. when did he start noticing so much?

woonhak stares at him. “dude, you’re so gone.”

jaehyun immediately shakes his head. “shut up.”

but he grabs something off the shelf anyway, a small coffee cup for the coffee addict that is you.

just because it makes sense. not because he cares.

you agree to meet at the studio.

it’s not that weird, jaehyun spends most of his time there anyway, and you’ve been there before.

when you walk in, however, you’re met with the sight of woonhak sitting at the desk, staring intensely at his laptop screen.

you blink. “you’re here?”

woonhak looks up. “you’re here?”

“uh. yeah?”

jaehyun walks in behind you, closing the door. “we’re doing that stupid challenge.”

woonhak frowns. “what challenge?”

you smirk. “the one that made him tell me about woonbaby.”

there’s a beat of silence.

“YOU TOLD THEM?!” woonhak exclaims, turning to jaehyun with betrayal in his eyes.

jaehyun looks genuinely alarmed. “IT WASN’T MY FAULT! THE APP TOLD THEM.”

woonhak glares. “i don’t care! you let it happen.”

you watch, amused, as they bicker.

eventually, jaehyun gives up with an exasperated sigh. “whatever, let’s just do this.”

you sit down, pulling out the little plush keychain.

jaehyun stares at it.

“what?” you say.

he blinks. “…is that a dog?”

you nod. “it reminded me of you.”

woonhak howls with laughter.

jaehyun scowls. “what does that mean?”

you shrug. “you figure it out.”

woonhak is practically crying. “bro, you’re literally a golden retriever.”

jaehyun grumbles, but you catch the way he turns the keychain over in his hands, quietly pressing at the plush fabric.

then, he clears his throat, pulling out his own gift.

a simple and cute coffee cup, one you can reuse for your favorite coffee shop.

you pause.

you recognize this brand. it’s the one you always buy from.

“…how did you know i like these?” you ask.

jaehyun hesitates. “you mentioned it once.”

you stare at him. that was days ago.

woonhak, clearly sensing something, slowly scoots away.

“uh,” he mutters, “i’ll leave you guys to it.”

he exits the room.

leaving you alone with jaehyun.

you turn back to him, suddenly unsure what to say.

he shifts in his seat. “so. we did the challenge.”

you nod. “yeah.”

there’s a silence.

“…i actually really like this,” jaehyun admits, still holding the plush keychain.

you blink. the silence is loud.

he glances at you, a little sheepish. “i know you probably just picked it because it’s funny, but… i like it.”

you feel something unfamiliar stir in your chest.

“…i like mine too,” you say.

he looks up, a little surprised.

you clear your throat. “it’s thoughtful.”

a small smile tugs at his lips.

“good,” he says.

later that night, you add the keychain to your bag.

and jaehyun clips his onto his.

not that it means anything.

—

💖 heartsync challenge: write a letter to your partner about what this experience meant to you. be honest! no holding back! 💌

you stare at your phone.

your stomach turns.

this is different from the other challenges. those were fun, stupid, even. buying a gift? easy. going on a last-minute date? frustrating but manageable.

but this?

you put your phone down and ignore it.

jaehyun, on the other hand, groans dramatically and flops onto his bed.

taesan and woonhak glance at each other.

“what now?” taesan asks.

jaehyun lifts his phone, showing them the notification.

woonhak snorts. “damn. that’s deep.”

“yeah,” jaehyun mutters. “stupid app.”

taesan raises a brow. “you’re actually gonna do it?”

jaehyun pauses. “...it’s just a challenge.”

woonhak smirks. “uh-huh.”

jaehyun rolls onto his stomach, hiding his face.

taesan leans back in his chair. “so… what has this experience meant to you?”

jaehyun groans into his pillow.

woonhak cackles. “this is hilarious.”

jaehyun throws a pillow at him.

you don’t write the letter.

you could.

but you don’t.

because writing it down makes it real. and you don’t want to think about what this actually means.

so, you pretend it doesn’t exist.

the app can’t force you, right?

right.

jaehyun stares at the blank page in front of him.

just write something dumb and get it over with.

but when he tries to start, nothing feels right.

so, he sighs, taps his pen against the desk, and just… writes what comes naturally.

woonhak picks up the folded letter before jaehyun can stop him.

jaehyun nearly tackles him.

“GIVE IT BACK.”

woonhak dances out of reach, grinning. “ooooh, what’s this?”

“IT’S NOTHING.”

taesan, completely unbothered, takes a sip of his drink. “so you did write one.”

jaehyun glares. “it’s just a stupid challenge.”

woonhak dodges another grab. “damn, you really poured your heart into this, huh?”

jaehyun huffs. “i hate both of you.”

woonhak finally tosses it back, laughing.

jaehyun stuffs it into his bag, scowling.

“…so when are you giving it to them?” taesan asks.

jaehyun freezes.

“uh.”

“…you are giving it to them, right?” woonhak says, amused.

jaehyun looks away. “i don’t know.”

“…bro.”

“i just—” jaehyun sighs. “what if they don’t care?”

woonhak and taesan exchange a look.

then, woonhak shrugs. “i guess you’ll find out.”

you don’t ask if jaehyun wrote his letter.

you don’t want to know.

because if he did, then you’d have to think about why you didn’t.

when jaehyun sees you next, he almost gives it to you.

almost.

but then he sees the way you act like nothing is different.

so, he keeps it in his bag.

not that it matters.

—

💖 heartsync update: your 30-day trial is almost over! it’s time for your final compatibility assessment!

will you renew? yes or no? make your choice carefully! 😘

your thumb hovers over the screen.

your chest feels tight.

final compatibility assessment.

it’s just a stupid button. just a choice.

but it feels heavier than that.

yes or no. stay or leave.

do you want this to continue?

and that’s the problem, isn’t it?

because you do. but you also don’t.

or rather, you can’t.

if you say yes, what does that mean? that the app was right? that this was real? that you’re willing to risk whatever this has become?

that’s too much.

that’s terrifying.

so, instead of thinking, instead of wondering, instead of feeling—

you press no.

and just like that, it’s over.

jaehyun gets the notification when he’s halfway to the café.

he’d planned to meet you there, casually slipping you the letter like it wasn’t a big deal. but then—

💔 heartsync update: your trial has ended. thanks for participating! your match has chosen not to renew. we’ve removed them from your contacts. no hard feelings! 💕

he stops walking.

stares at the screen.

his stomach sinks.

his heart—

no renewal.

he scrolls through his messages, but your contact is gone. every conversation, every stupid joke, every awkward late-night text—erased.

like you were never there at all.

like he imagined it.

like it meant nothing.

he swallows.

turns on his heel.

walks away.

when you check your phone again, it’s like jaehyun never existed.

your chat history? gone.

your notifications? empty.

you type his name into your contacts. nothing.

it feels like a punch to the stomach. you should’ve expected this. you did expect this.

but it still hurts.

did he pick no, too?

…or did you delete something that he actually wanted?

you close your phone.

this is for the best.

you keep telling yourself that. so why doesn’t it feel true?

jaehyun stares at the letter in his hands.

it’s stupid.

he shouldn’t care.

but he does. and that pisses him off.

woonhak notices. “what’s up with you?”

jaehyun doesn’t answer.

taesan glances over. “hey. you good?”

jaehyun laughs, but it’s hollow. “yeah.”

woonhak raises a brow.

jaehyun crumples the letter in his fist.

“i just wasted my time, that’s all.”

he gets up.

leaves before they can ask anything else.

you tell sungho and kazuha that it’s fine.

that you’re fine.

sungho doesn’t buy it. “so, you just… ended it?”

you shrug. “it was gonna end anyway.”

kazuha frowns. “but… did you want it to?”

you open your mouth. hesitate.

sungho sighs. “you’re an idiot.”

you glare. “thanks.”

“i’m serious. if you actually liked him—”

“i don’t.”

“…right,” kazuha says, unconvinced.

sungho crosses his arms. “you know, he could’ve said yes.”

you look away.

because that thought is the worst one of all.

jaehyun avoids the café.

he avoids the places he might see you.

he pretends it doesn’t sting.

but when he’s alone, when the studio is quiet, when there’s nothing left to distract him.

he pulls out the letter.

the one you’ll never read.

and he wonders if he had given it to you, would it have made a difference?

—

jaehyun is not the kind of guy who does this.

he’s not the type to chase after people. he doesn’t do big confrontations. he doesn’t throw himself into situations where his feelings are laid bare, where rejection is a very real possibility.

but here he is.

sitting in a café across from woonhak, gripping a coffee cup like it’s a lifeline, his foot tapping against the floor so fast it’s a miracle the ground isn’t shaking.

woonhak, for his part, is staring at him like he’s experiencing secondhand embarrassment in real time.

“so… let me get this straight,” woonhak says, setting his drink down. “you got matched with someone on a dating app. spent a whole month with them. actually liked them. and now, instead of talking to them like a normal person, you’re here, asking me to help you find them?”

jaehyun scowls. “when you say it like that, it sounds weird.”

woonhak leans back in his chair. “because it is weird.”

jaehyun groans, running a hand through his hair. “i just—” he hesitates, voice quieter. “they pressed no.”

woonhak’s eyebrows lift.

jaehyun clenches his jaw. “they chose to end it.”

woonhak watches him for a moment. then, slowly, he folds his arms.

“so? that’s it? you’re just gonna let the app decide how this ends?”

jaehyun exhales sharply. “no.”

“good.” woonhak cracks his knuckles. “let’s find them.”

jaehyun blinks. “wait, you’re actually helping?”

woonhak smirks. “are you kidding? this is the most interesting thing that’s happened all week.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes, but his heart is beating a little faster now.

step one: figure out where you work.

woonhak, surprisingly, is really good at this. almost too good.

“didn’t you mention that sungho is their friend?” he asks, scrolling through his phone.

jaehyun blinks. “uh. yeah?”

woonhak hums. “i think i saw something on his page last week. something about dropping off lunch at their job.”

jaehyun leans over. “you can find that?”

“duh. i have skills.”

jaehyun doesn’t question it.

a few minutes later, woonhak tilts his screen toward jaehyun. “bingo. looks like they work at that bookstore near the subway station.”

jaehyun’s stomach twists.

this is actually happening.

woonhak smirks. “you ready?”

jaehyun doesn’t answer. just grabs his jacket and walks out the door.

the bookstore is quiet when jaehyun steps inside.

the warm scent of paper and ink fills the air. soft lighting casts golden hues against the wooden bookshelves. the faint sound of pages turning and the occasional murmur of conversation drifts through the space.

he scans the store, heart hammering.

there.

you’re stacking books near the back, moving with the easy rhythm of someone who’s done this a hundred times.

jaehyun’s feet move before he can think.

you don’t notice him at first.

but then you glance up.

your hands still. your eyes widen.

“…jaehyun?”

his throat is dry. he almost forgets why he’s here.

almost.

“you really didn’t care, huh?”

your expression falters. “what?”

jaehyun exhales sharply. “you didn’t even hesitate. you just—” he gestures vaguely, frustration bleeding into his voice. “you pressed no.”

you swallow. “i—”

jaehyun reaches into his pocket.

pulls out a crumpled piece of paper.

your breath catches.

“you didn’t read mine,” jaehyun says.

his voice is quieter now. rough around the edges.

you stare at the letter.

the ink is smudged. the paper is creased, worn like he’s been holding onto it for days.

like he was going to give it to you, like he wanted to stay.

your stomach twists.

“jaehyun.”

he shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “i just don’t get it.”

his voice cracks on the last word.

you don’t know what to say. you don’t know how to fix this.

but maybe… maybe it’s not too late.

silence stretches between you.

you don’t look away from the letter.

jaehyun doesn’t either.

there’s a tension in the air, thick and heavy. you try to swallow it down, but it doesn’t go away.

finally, jaehyun exhales.

he shoves a hand into his jacket pocket, gaze dropping to the floor. “you don’t have to say anything,” he mutters. “i just—i needed you to know.”

your throat is tight. your fingers twitch at your sides.

you didn’t read mine.

he said it so simply, like it wasn’t the most painful realization of all. because you should have.

you should have waited.

you should have listened.

but you were afraid.

afraid that reading it would mean accepting something real. afraid that pressing yes would mean opening yourself up to something you weren’t sure you could handle.

but now, looking at him, his tense shoulders, his furrowed brows, the way his hands grip the letter like it’s the only thing holding him together. he’s so cute.

you wonder if you made the wrong choice.

you take a shaky breath. “jaehyun…”

he lifts his gaze.

your fingers brush against the edge of the letter. hesitating.

you take it.

jaehyun stills.

you smooth it out carefully, trying not to focus on the places where the ink has bled.

you glance up. “can i—?”

jaehyun nods, once.

so you read.

jaehyun’s letter is messy.

his handwriting is uneven, like he kept pausing, rewriting, second-guessing.

but the words—

the words hit you like a punch to the chest.

it’s not poetic. not perfectly structured.

but it’s real.

and for some reason, that makes it hurt even more.

hey. i don’t really know what to say, which is probably a bad start to a letter. i don’t know what i was expecting when i signed up for this. definitely not this. i thought it’d be a joke. just something dumb i’d try and then delete. but then, somehow, it was you. and i don’t know how that happened, but i’m not really mad about it. it was weird at first. and sometimes it still is. but somewhere along the way, i stopped thinking about it like an “experiment” or a “trial.” it just became normal. i don’t know if that means anything. but i think i like this. i think i like… you. not that it matters. but yeah. that’s it. - jaehyun.

you can tell when he started to get frustrated. some sentences trail off, like he wasn’t sure how to end them. some are underlined, like he wanted to make sure you understood.

but the part that makes your breath catch, the part that makes your fingers tighten around the page—

is near the end.

"i don’t know if that means anything. but i think i like this. i think i like… you."

you stare at the words.

your hands shake.

your vision blurs.

you blink rapidly, forcing yourself to look up.

jaehyun is watching you, expression unreadable.

you open your mouth. but no words come out.

so you do the only thing you can.

you fold the letter carefully. tuck it into your pocket.

and whisper, “i think i made a mistake.”

jaehyun exhales.

his lips press into a thin line.

“yeah,” he says softly. “i think so, too.”

it should be easier than this.

it should be simple. if you like someone, you tell them. if you want to stay, you stay.

but it’s never that easy, is it?

because standing here, in the quiet of the bookstore, with jaehyun staring at you like you’re the only thing keeping him grounded, it feels impossible to say what you want to say.

your heart is in your throat.

your fingers tighten around the crumpled letter in your pocket.

“so,” jaehyun says, voice quiet. “what now?”

you don’t know.

but you do know one thing:

you don’t want to walk away again.

you meet his gaze.

hesitate.

“i think i liked you before i even realized.”

jaehyun’s breath catches.

your chest feels tight.

you swallow, forcing yourself to keep going.

“i just… i didn’t want to admit it,” you say, voice softer now. “because if i did, then it wouldn’t be because of the app. it wouldn’t be because of some stupid algorithm. it would just be me.”

you take a shaky breath.

“and that scared me.”

jaehyun exhales sharply.

he’s quiet for a long moment, and just when you think he’s going to say something,

he takes a step closer.

then another.

your heart stutters.

he stops just a few inches away.

when he speaks, his voice is steadier than before.

“i don’t care what the app says,” he murmurs.

his gaze is unwavering.

“i like you.”

your stomach flips.

your fingers twitch at your sides.

you want to say something.

but before you can, jaehyun suddenly exhales, dragging a hand down his face.

“god, that was so embarrassing,” he groans. “i can’t believe i actually said that out loud.”

you blink.

a laugh bursts out of you, unexpected and unfiltered.

jaehyun groans again, covering his face. “no, don’t laugh. i was trying to be cool.”

“cool?” you wheeze. “you?”

he glares at you from between his fingers. “i take it back. i don’t like you.”

you grin. “too late.”

jaehyun groans dramatically, but there’s no real frustration in it.

just warmth. just relief.

and when your laughter fades, when the bookstore falls quiet again—

he looks at you. and you look back.

something shifts.

something settles.

and just like that—

it doesn’t feel so impossible anymore.

later, at a coffee shop.

“so,” you say, stirring your drink. “was any of it real?”

jaehyun blinks. “huh?”

“the app,” you clarify. “the ‘fated’ moments. was any of it real?”

jaehyun thinks about it.

“well.” he tilts his head. “the coffee shop thing was definitely on purpose.”

you nod. “and the grocery store?”

“i think you just have bad luck.”

“excuse me?”

jaehyun shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. “i mean, statistically speaking, you were bound to run into me eventually.”

you narrow your eyes. “statistically speaking, i should throw my drink at you.”

jaehyun grins. “you could. but then you’d have to buy me another one.”

you stare at him for a long moment.

then you sigh, leaning back in your chair.

“so… no magic algorithm,” you murmur.

“no magic algorithm,” jaehyun agrees.

it’s strange.

you spent so much time wondering if any of it was real, if the app had manipulated you, if the connection was artificial, if your feelings were manufactured.

but now, sitting here, watching jaehyun poke at the ice in his drink with his straw, you realize something.

you don’t care.

because maybe the app pushed you together. maybe it forced you into situations that you wouldn’t have chosen otherwise.

but the moments you shared?

the conversations, the laughter, the quiet nights at the studio—

that was real. and that’s enough.

and that's something you like the sound of.

—

tysm for reading :>

bnd taglist : @bxnedo

perm taglist : @s0shroe @minoouz @the0p @mon2sunjinsuver

[forkshighschooler]

Hiii can you do the packs reactions to having an imprint who travels a lot for work?

When Their Imprint Travels for Work

Pairing: Twilight Wolf Pack x Reader (Imprint)

Summary: Their imprint has a job that keeps them on the road, and while the wolves try to act cool, they’re not as chill as they think.

Warning: Fluff, long-distance tension, clinginess, soft possessiveness

⸻

Sam Uley

At first? Silent panic. Sam is used to control, to knowing where you are and how you’re doing.

He tries not to guilt you, but every time you pack your bags, his jaw tightens and his arms wrap around you like he’s afraid you won’t come back.

“Text me when you land. Every time.”

Tries to play calm alpha, but the second you’re out of cell range? Paces the woods like a storm.

But he’s also deeply proud of you.

“You’re doing what you love. That matters to me more than keeping you here.”

When you return? Expect to be wrapped up in a hug so strong it lifts you off the ground.

⸻

Paul Lahote

This man?? Feral.

The second you say the words “I leave Monday”, he’s already grumbling.

“Again? For how long this time?”

Clingy as hell the entire day before your flight. Touchy. Sulky. Trying not to be mad at you but definitely mad at the situation.

But he never stops you. He just doesn’t know how to handle missing you.

“Next time, I’m going with you. I’ll live in your damn suitcase.”

Once he gets used to the rhythm, he sends you short voice messages instead of texts because his tone says more than his words ever could.

And when you’re home? He will not leave your side. You can’t pee alone for three days.

⸻

Embry Call

At first? Supportive golden retriever mode.

“Babe! That’s so cool!”

But after a few trips, he realizes just how much he misses you when you’re gone.

Embry’s the type to set up FaceTime movie nights.

He’ll take pictures of things and send them with:

“Reminded me of you 🥹💛”

Secretly counts the days till you’re back. Literally scratches tallies in a notebook like he’s in prison.

“Is it weird I sprayed your hoodie with my cologne just so it smells like you wore it?”

When you get home, he almost cries but plays it cool. Badly.

⸻

Quil Ateara

Super chill and trusting, but also the king of “accidental” clinginess.

“Oh, you’re leaving tomorrow? I guess I’ll just hold you like a koala until then.”

Makes you laugh before trips so you won’t cry.

“Don’t forget your charger. Or socks. Or me.”

Sends you the dumbest memes at 2 a.m.

“You’re the only person I want to show this to first.”

Talks about you constantly while you’re gone. The pack is sick of it.

“She’s in Chicago right now. Time zone’s different. She’s a boss.”

And when you return? He throws a “Welcome Home” party. Every. Single. Time.

⸻

Jared Cameron

Super proud of your job. Brags about you like it’s his full-time gig.

“My girl’s out there living her dream. What are you doing, bro?”

But under the pride is a big ol’ sad puppy.

He sends you updates on what the pack’s doing, the weather, your favorite snack in stock—just to feel close.

Gets super attached to your stuff while you’re gone. Sleeps with your pillow. Wears your hoodie.

“I miss you. That’s all. Just had to say it.”

When you get home? Tackles you on sight. Won’t let go. You missed your luggage—he didn’t care.

⸻

Seth Clearwater

The most mature about it—but also the softest.

Seth encourages you to chase your dreams, but that doesn’t mean his heart doesn’t hurt.

“Just promise you’ll be safe, okay?”

He leaves little notes in your bag. Buys you snacks for the trip.

Video calls every night. Talks about his day like you’re still next to him.

“I know you’re far away, but I still feel close to you.”

When you return, he’s there at the airport/train station every time with your favorite drink and the biggest grin.

You’re home the moment you see him.

⸻

Leah Clearwater

Pretends she’s unfazed.

“Okay. Go be a boss. I’ll be here.”

But underneath the cool front is an ache.

Leah’s already terrified of losing people, so distance—even temporary—is a trigger she doesn’t talk about.

Won’t beg you to stay, but she’ll get quiet the night before you leave.

“I don’t need you to quit. I just… hate not being near you.”

Texting? Minimal. Not because she doesn’t care—because it hurts.

When you return, she pulls you in hard and doesn’t let go. Then immediately acts like she didn’t miss you that much.

“You were only gone a week. Chill.”

(She didn’t sleep properly the whole time.)

Jacob Black

Supportive, but hates watching you leave. Gets quiet the day before trips, holding you longer, breathing you in like he’s storing it.

“Wish I could go with you.”

Texts you constantly—random pack updates, sweet check-ins, and occasional soft ones like:

“I don’t sleep right without you.”

“Proud of you. Always.”

When you get back, he hugs you tight, muttering:

“Don’t leave without saying goodbye again.”

Then grins:

“Next trip, I’m coming. Emotional support werewolf and all.”

Disclaimer:

I do now own Twilight or any of its characters. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is a work of fanfiction written for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

[misctf]

Experiential Learning

“Dude, I don’t get it.”

“What’s not to get?” Mike grinned.

The two men paused their jog, taking a few deep breaths and basking in the warmth of the summer air. Jason wiped some sweat from his forehead and looked towards his friend.

“I guess I can understand it, well in theory.” Jason continues, running a hand through his blond hair, “But you’re telling me you’ll fuck around for hours and still not blow? Like, what’s the point?”

“That is the point, bro.” Mike stretches his muscular arms, “When you're right on the edge, so close to release... it's like nothing else. Fuck... and when you do finally let go.” His grin widens, “Fucking mind-blowing, best orgasm you’ll ever have.”

“Yeah but dude, isn't it just torture? Having to hold back all that time?” Jason shakes his head, “I'd rather just bust a nut and be done with it. Fuck, how do you get anything done? I feel like I’d be so fucking horny all day.”

Mike chuckles and slaps Jason on the back, “Oh man, it’s about the journey, not the destination. And that journey could last for hours, even days if you get as good as me.”

Jason raises an eyebrow skeptically. “Hours? Days? Dude, I don't know if my balls could take that much punishment. Sounds like a case of self-inflicted blue balls.”

“Ah you’re boring, man.” Mike shrugs, “But if you ever want a lesson.” He winks playfully.

“Gross dude.” Jason chuckles, “You do you, man. Just glad I’m not your cock.”

“You wish you were.” Mike laughs, “C’mon, lets finish this run.”

----------------

It’s the next morning when Jason is awakened by the sound of an unfamiliar alarm.

“Ugh fuck.” He thinks. His body feels stiff- more so than what he would’ve expected from the intensity of his workout yesterday, “I didn’t go that hard.” He thinks, his thoughts shifting to the blaring alarm, “Okay, okay... I can’t see anything...” It was so dark, and he was covered in warm fabric, “Those black out curtains are good...” He tries to reach out towards the sound of the alarm, “My arms... I can’t move my arms...” It’s a strange sensation, as if he doesn’t have arms to move.

As the realization slowly dawns on Jason, panic begins to set in. He tries to sit up, to move his legs, but feels only a strange, throbbing heat emanating from below. Each movement he makes just causes his body to twitch. He tries again and again to move, but nothing responds to his mental commands. Even his desperate attempts to call out for help are useless. No words are able to leave his mouth, which feels forced open in an circular shape. The only thing Jason can feel is his form rubbing against something soft with each weak twitch of his stiff body.

“Ugh fuck...” Jason perks up at the sound of Mike voices, “God damnit... this fuckin’ alarm.”

The alarm is silenced and Mike throws the sheets off of him. The light shines through the room, illuminating it and giving Jason a better view. Jason can barely process his new perspective. He finds himself looking directly up at Mike's toned abdominal muscles, the individual abs clearly defined. His gaze traces up further, taking in the expansive, sculpted pectoral muscles above. To either side of Jason, towering and filling his entire field of vision, are Mike's colossal thighs. He can feel the warmth radiating from them.

“C’mon dude! Don’t you see me?” Jason thinks, an increasing sense of panic welling up from inside him.

Mike yawns and looks down, a slow grin forming across his face. Jason can feel Mike’s eyes on him and he wants to ask why the hell his buddy is smiling at him. More importantly, he wanted to ask why the fuck he was apparently in his bed, wedged between his bro’s thighs. But he couldn’t- for whatever reason he could form the words.

“Well hello there, handsome.” Mike chuckles to himself, “Looks like someone's ready to start the day.” Mike reaches down at wraps his meaty hand around his throbbing cock.

A jolt of intense pleasure shoots through Jason's entire being as he feels Mike's strong hand wrap around his body. The sensation is overwhelming - every nerve ending seems to come alive at once. He can feel the texture of Mike's skin, the slight calluses on his palm, the firm yet gentle grip. As Mike begins to stroke, slowly at first then picking up speed, waves of ecstasy pulse through Jason's new body. He twitches and throbs in Mike's grasp, growing even harder.

“Oh god oh fuck what the hell is happening?! I.... ohhhh.... please stop..... I'm not a dick.... I'm not a damn cock! I’m a man!”

Jason's mind reels as the sensations intensify. Mike's grip tightens, stroking faster now. Jason's thoughts grow increasingly slurred and fragmented.

“Nnngh f-fuck... s'too much...” Jason's brain fogs over with each pump of Mike's fist. The pleasure is all-consuming, wiping away coherent thought, “Can't... can't think straight...”As Mike's strokes become more urgent, Jason's resolve crumbles. The boundaries of his identity blur and fade, “I'm... I'm not... hnnngh! 

Jason's protests dissolve. In his hazy, lust-addled state, the idea of being separate from Mike's cock starts to seem absurd. After all, everything that made him Jason was gone. His firm pecs, muscular arms, toned legs- gone, his body just a veiny, thick shaft. His handsome features, killer smile- gone, just a pink cock head. Jason's mind goes completely blank as the pleasure peaks. All rational thought vanishes, replaced only by pure, primal need.

“Yes... I am a cock... Mike's cock...” Jason thinks, his remaining shreds of identity merging fully with his new role, “This is all I am, all I've ever been...” His purpose becomes clear, “Need... to... cum...”

But the hand stops. And as it does, Mike throws back his head and moans, basking in the pleasure and pain of denied release. All the while, Jason is suddenly jolted back to reality, his thoughts becoming clear, as a sense of clarity washes over him.

“Fuck...” He thinks as he regains focus, “I nearly...”

A sense of dread washes over him. He was so close. So close to losing himself. If Mike hadn’t stopped... if he kept going...

“...and when you do finally let go... Fucking mind-blowing...”

Mike’s words repeat in Jason’s consciousness. And Jason realizes that there is certainly a truth to his bro’s statement. If... when Mike finally released... Jason tries to push the thought out of his head. He had time- maybe he could find a way to communicate or reverse this. But before he can think more on it, Jason feels his perspective change again as Mike gets out of bed.

“Gotta hit the gym first.” Mike mumbles, grinning down at his slowly softening dick, “It’s been a few days, hasn’t it? Workout first, then...”

And Jason begins to realize he might not have as much time left as he thought. Mike grabs a pair of compression shorts and plunges Jason back into darkness, the feeling of the soft fabric teasing him even more. His thoughts growing foggy once again as each of Mike’s movements send a wave of pleasure and pain down the length of his sensitive, semi-hard body. The aching need nearly unbearable. Despite his earlier determination to escape this predicament, a small part of Jason finds himself craving the release he was denied. To fully experience Mike's take on edging.

"Maybe..." he muses dreamily, "maybe letting go won't be so bad....might be nice to finally...cum..."

[kumasakka]

a little reminder because no one talks ENOUGH about this matter. writing about dark romance, incest, minors having literally sex, intense stalker shit, rape etc. is actuall very concerning. that’s (I’m sorry) fucked up. and in my opinion, that’s something that shouldn’t even get supported AND DEF NOT PUBLISHED HERE OR ELSEWHERE.

“I do not support this—“ then don’t write this and keep ur nasty, freaky fantasies for yourself.

“don’t like, don’t read—“ bro no. this is just fucked up. you shouldn’t let those things slide. to me, it just seems like you’re defending this stuff.

“oh but—“ NO. GET HELP, I’M SORRY. BUT THIS IS NOT OKAY.

especially something like rape. bro. do you realize how many people experience something horrible like this? this isn’t something you should fantasise about. it’s absolutely disgusting and terrifying, no one should experience this and no one should wish for smth like this. imagine being a victim and then reading comments about “oh how I wish to get raped by that character/that person”.

absolutely hate it when writers make some mistakes and it’s like — a trivial matter — but I still see some people writing hate comments. as if making mistakes aren’t normal? shove up those disrespectful, rude comments into your mouth please and thank you. this is what I would call “don’t like, don’t read” if you don’t like the story then don’t read it. go hate on things like dark romance or incest or IDK.

edited: I would like to apologize on my part for being insightful towards those people who use it to cope with their trauma. I’m sorry! stay safe and strong please ❤️

again: I won’t answer any asks anymore or anything because I’m tired of people telling me the same thing. like — I understand that one half of the people who disagree with me because they are explaining their point of view properly, but I will NOT understand the other half who don’t explain it properly enough. I guess that’s on me though.

[hookedonhuge]

make a story with a lot of bloating and belches please

Here we go! Ended up putting in more effort than planned, haha. Aches and Gains: What the hell… where am I? Who are all these huge men walking around? Oh that’s right, the gym. I was working out wasn’t I? Yeah, my muscles feel really sore, must have been a killer workout. Pushing myself to my absolute limit, what a legend I am.

Who is this? Someone waving. Oh they are worried. Don’t worry, haha, I’m fine. UURRP! I just take this place seriously, that's all. Needed a quick rest. Vision’s still a little blurry but I’m getting there.

Now where was I? Just finished a set or did I finish my whole workout? Yeah I’m so sore I must be done. Especially my abs, they are really tight. I guess it was a core day. BUURRP! Oh that feels much better. I can get up now.

Whoo! I’m starting to feel alive again. Let's check out my pump in the mirror. Bet I’m looking real huge today. This shirt is kinda hard to get off, it’s so tight. Must be a crazy pump. Ah, there we go!

What the?! I’m freakin’ huge but… why have I lost so much definition?! My belly is so damn bloated! That’s okay, just my protein shake kicking in. No problem. Damn, look at the pecs on me though! Jealous of these bad boys, losers? Hahaha! King of the gym today. UUURRRP! I was already big and now I’m even bigger! URP!

I keep belching. Kinda weird but it relieves the pressure in my belly. I just need to get it all out, and find my abs again, haha. BUUUUURRRRRP! What are they all looking at? Goddamn greatness, that’s what. Oh don’t give me that pissy look staff, this place might as well be mine anyway.

I still haven’t relieved all the pressure in my gut. Aaaahhh! It hurts so much. UUURRRP! It’s like I’m inflating. I can’t get it out quick enough. BUUUURRRRP! Yeah, I know everyone, I don’t want to burp this much, okay. Geez. Everyone is on my case today. Oh great, now a staff member is coming up to me. This is unbelievable, I haven’t done anything wrong. Oh… my protein shake. Yeah guess I left it back there. Thanks. URRPP!

That cleared some room for a bit more protein shake. Bottoms up. Tastes so good. I’m so hungry too. Can’t stop myself from chugging it all. UUUUUUURRRRRRRP! That hit the spot. Hope y’all can smell that, it reeks of stale protein, hahaha. Deserve it for being so judgy.

God! I can feel myself getting bigger. Yes! I’m growing so much, so huge. My gut though… I look like I’ve eaten a five-course meal… twice. Aaaaaahhhhh! So much pressure… need to get it out… now! 

BUUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPP!

Looks like I caught someone with that point blank. Looks like they might pass out too. Hey, want another one? UUUURRRRP! Hahahaha! Take this! BUUUUURRRRRP!

WOW! Just caught myself in the reflection and damn! I’m so big, I’m jealous of myself. Look at these huge guns. Boom! This chest keeps getting bigger too. And my back, chef’s kiss. So goddamn wide and perfect! Legs looking thick too! I’m such a beast, let's go! Who cares if I’ve got a big, bloated belly. Bigger is better right. I’d take it any day with these gains. BUUUURRRRAAAAP!

I’m starting to get used to these burps. Feels so nice when I let them out. Like a lion’s roar. So manly. UUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAP! Is this too disgusting for all of you? Well bad luck. BUUURRRP! I’ve got a lot more coming! BAAAAUUUURRRRP! Let me show you all what a beast like me sounds like…

BWWWWWWOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRAAAAAAUUUUUUPPP!

Hahahahaha! This entire gym reeks now! Oh look here, we have a big, strong man coming up to start a fight. I’m the king of this gym, okay bro. Wait, not looking for a fight. Complimenting me? Hell yeah! This big guy gets it. New gym buddy right over here. What’s this? A protein shake. Thanks bro, I actually feel like I need another one.

This is UURRP unbelievable, how BUURRP can a protein OOUURRP taste so damn UURRP good? What has BOOOUUUURRRP he put in this UUURRRP thing? No seriously what is in it? Nevermind. Just a bro helping another bro out by giving him some fuel.

Time to leave. Not sure if this gym can handle me for much longer. This employee at the reception looks pissed, haha. Well I’m gonna tell him what’s on my mind.

BUUUURRRRP-OOOOUUUURRRRAAAAAP-BWWWWWOOOOOUUUUURRRRRP!

Don’t think I’ll need to pay to get in anymore.

[rockingbytheseaside]

Hiii I really love the one with the harbingers where reader calls them words of endearment from their homeland, can you do one where reader cooks for them food from their homeland? pantalone's part was so cute <33

✦ You cook them their favorite home meal, based on their homeland

(Or trying to guess what food the not-yet-playable characters might like based on their region, culture, or language. ) 

Pierro, Capitano, Dottore, Scaramouche, Pantalone, Childe 

✧ It is to no one’s surprise that Pierro, the Director of the Fatui, would easily drop everything to grant your needs. Just blink and the world’s spoils are at your feet, bestowed by your beloved. Expensive clothing, jewelry, art pieces, weaponry, or lavish dishes. With his money and status, plus being a connoisseur of the ancient lores of Teyvat, The Jester can easily acquire anything you require on a silver platter. 

But this time, it was you who tried to gift him something on a silver platter.

On an unsuspecting day, Pierro returned home only to be greeted with a strong scent of baked goods. The smell wafted all around the living quarters, warm and sugary. Glancing curiously, the Jester marched to the kitchen, where he found you grumbling to yourself. You stood with your oven mittens, a tray of voluptuous Kanelbullar presented in front of him; some were cut as you tried to take an analytical bite of the cinnamon rolls.

“Trying your hands at familiar recipes, my cherished?” - The man asked with a welcoming glance while you mulled and judged the taste of your cooked goods.

“Ah, Pierro, you’re right on time. Here, try this one for me. Does it resemble traditional cinnamon rolls?”

When the Jester took a bite, even his icy eye widened for a moment. A wave of nostalgia and warmth lanced his memories, ones he thought were long forgotten. The cinnamon rolls you baked were not the average confectionaries one could easily purchase, as the taste resembled traditional Khaenri’ahn Kanelbullar. A simple treat that all children and adults used to enjoy in their free time.  

“Well…? Oh no, don’t tell me it’s that bad?” - you awaited his response, but Pierro quickly shook his head.

“It’s rich and potent in taste, but not too sugary. Just like the ones in our Homeland… I didn’t think replicating such intricacies was possible. What did you add this time?”

Your eyes light up. Finally, some progress. “Really? I’ve been mulling over it for hours, I thought my taste pallet was going numb. I tried to find any local ingredients that might add the flavor of saffron and cardamon.”

“Like the golden Saffron…? They were a local specialty back in Khaenri’ah. Although some variants exist in Teyvat’s soil, they are not used as cooking ingredients here.” - Pierro pondered, amazed at your ability to combine other local spices to imitate the taste of the past.

As both of you mulled over how to achieve the most accurate results for these traditional Cinnamon Rolls, half of the tray was already gone.

“Although now that I think about it, my divine, I don’t think it would be an issue to send an expedition to obtain that rare spice for you. Especially if the result is such exquisite home pastry.”

✧ In this house, Il Capitano is the master chef. The man is proficient in the art of survival, thus, his skills in outdoor cooking are especially shown. From simple meat and vegetables, the Captain can come up with the best meat skewers you ever ate. Not to mention the topic of sustenance and growth is intertwined with a good diet. A man his size and capabilities puts immense care into outdoor survival and health.

But even a strong Captain deserves some spoiling for his hard work. 

After a wearying day spent honing the skills of his Fatui troops, a group of soldiers that will prepare for an upcoming expedition, Il Capitano was greeted with a surprise visit from you. You arrived right on time for their break, and as always, the Fatui soldiers couldn't help but eavesdrop on the Harbinger’s exchange with his beloved…

“I brought you your meal for today, Bife de chorizo. You need lots of protein.”

“Thank you.” - The Captain stood obediently, holding the lunchbox you brought.

“With Pico de Gallo and avocados. I also put some almonds and walnuts as a snack.”

“I understand.” 

“You are preparing for another important expedition. You must take care of your body after such intensive training, Cappy.”

“You are right, you are right.”

“And I don’t want to see anything left from the lunch boxes. Make sure to eat all of it, okay?”

“Understood!”

It sure was a sight. One would think the Harbinger was the student as he stood nodding vehemently while you scolded him. With one hand on your hip, you gave him an earful as you checked up on him, generously providing him a full-course meal neatly packed in a mealbox.

The Fatui soldiers were slightly jealous. Even they could easily tell that behind that pitch-black helmet, Il Capitano was absolutely joyous to have his beloved visit him and provide such mouthwatering nourishment. 

✧ Today, you were ready to tackle and kill Il Dottore. Why? Because that man barged into your kitchen and confidently announced himself as the culinarian for today’s dinner. A simple and kind gesture, right? You would rather starve than have The Doctor implode your kitchen again.

“Stop exaggerating as if I let your Serenitea Pot house crumble. It was just a little fire.” - Dottore defended himself, watching closely as you made him stand back from the stove. 

“I had to replace the whole walls, Zandik!”

The two of you stood in the kitchen, with the Harbinger peeking from behind your shoulders as you claimed dominion over the frying pan. The whole day, he was made watching you prepare Sumeru Kibbeh meatballs, since the last time he decided to dabble in the art of cooking, your house was put at stake.

He was a scholar, not a chef, unfortunately. But The Doctor is not ashamed to admit his impatience and lack of skill in the kitchen. Hence, he helped you as much as he could while you diligently taught him how Kibbeh is properly made. He remained silent but pleasantly subservient. The sight of your sleeves raised, hands tactfully molding the Kibbeh was oddly amiable. Especially when your face was so focused on the task, he couldn’t help but stare. 

Yet every time you fried the meatballs and set them aside on a pan lined with paper towels to drain, a sneaky hand would try to steal some. You’d slap his hand away.

“Nope. Hands off! Wait till dinner”

“They’ll end up being consumed anyway. I’ll just have a small tas-”

Slap!

And it continued for a long while, all the way to the end once you finished cooking. When the two of you finally sat down and began eating, Dottore would often remain silent. You were too busy relishing the dish, unaware of the Harbinger’s appreciation for your home-cooked meal. Sustenance is just a waste of time that the human body must go through to gain its energy. But it’s not the same when he is sitting with you casually, the warm afternoon sunlight wrapping the dining table, and the warm food steaming with an appetizing aroma.

For him, eating with you was different. It was simple, but it was home. 

✧ Scaramouche may huff and scoff all he wants, but when it comes to appraising your Unagi Chazuke, no master can compete with you. Perhaps because he is a puppet, but Scaramouche has a delicate pallet. He despises strong flavors and always preferred simpler dishes, to appreciate the unique flavor of a singular ingredient. He would never admit it vocally, but he would often crave your chazukes, and it was easily written on his grumbling face.

“Come on, just say it.”

The Balladeer lamented.

“Say it. My home cooking is the best, and you just want me to cook for you today.”

“...I won’t. I don’t have use in consuming any human meals.” - he mumbled in response, arms crossed. You sighed and with a wide smile, you turned away.

“Oh well. Guess you don’t want any, huh…? And here I thought I could prepare your favorite Unagi Chazuke today. But I guess it’s foolish-”

“No, Wait-!” - The Harbinger wished to bite his tongue but it was too late. He already called out to you in a moment of weakness, and your goofy grin only widened with his desperation. 

He gave up. With reluctant embarrassment, the Balladeer admitted your victory - “If you may… Can you prepare another one of your signature Chazuke? Please.”

And that’s how you two ended up by the dinner table. You couldn’t just deny him after such a heartfelt request. You prepared the unagi meat and rice diligently, showing him how to prepare green tea to add mild bitterness to the salted rice. Topping off with some dried Nori leaves, and sesame - two bows of Unagi Chazuke were ready and looking artistically grandiose.

Light and sublime, that’s what Scaramouche thought. A true definition of soul food, as he held his bowl and chopsticks close. A rare but sincere smile would always grace his features whenever he ate your cooking, but he of course would conceal it by clearing his throat.

“Hm, okay fine. Maybe your cooking is adequate after all. Especially when you don’t make it too sweet.”

You’d laugh at his reaction. At the end of the day, it was you who taught him how to cook what later would become his signature dish, even if his identity as a Harbinger was wiped away. 

✧ Being the richest man in Teyvat like Pantalone means dealing with lots of bureaucracies and business. Sometimes, after a prolonged day in the office, the sight of stacked papers becomes dreadful and negotiations with the Snezhnayan elites may go fruitless. Thus, The Regrator would often slum by his desk, removing his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose and sigh in exhaustion.

Now what would the richest man in Teyvat do to relax after a bad day at work? Go to the most expensive five-star restaurant? Perhaps purchase a fancy drink that costs more than his subordinates' monthly salary? No. He would head straight back home, where he knows you are awaiting him with open arms.

A single look at him and you would know he is fatigued. Leaning up to embrace him, you plant a tender kiss on his cheek - “How about I make us a quick snack, hm? You can go and take a shower in the meantime.”

Pantalone would try to conjure up a faint smile and nod. As he winds down for the day, subconsciously he knows your home cooking is like a balm to his soul. No matter how many exquisite restaurants he tried, he’d easily sacrifice all of them for a bite-full of your culinary.

And here you are, merrily handing him his childhood favorite - Mora Meat Roujiamo. A simple meat sandwich, but a staple street food in Liyue’s culture. That’s all the Harbinger desires after a tough day at work, as he gobbles the sandwich wrapped with a paper towel.

“Made your favorites. I added some extra meat since I know you like it juicy.” - you gave Pantalone soothing pats on the back as he ate up.

“You’re a lifesaver, honey. You would not believe how frustrating work has been today,”

Pantalone would rant and confide in you about his work. He would rather do that than delve into the nostalgic feeling that Mora Meat sandwiches gave him. It was indeed his childhood favorite. Yet it also reminded him how in the distant past, when food or money was scarce, starvation and desperation were his only companions as a lowly child. Thus, on better days when he acquired some change just to purchase simple Mora Meat - these sandwiches felt like a king’s feast.

Such an unadorned dish, but one that brought warmth and sustenance to a starved child, telling him that everything would be okay. Today, this starved child is the richest man in Snezhnayan. Nevertheless, he still relished these sandwiches from your hands like divine wealth, telling himself once more that everything would be okay. 

✧ Tartaglia was bedbound for some while, bandaged heavily after a massive battle he faced during one of his missions. The young Harbinger would never tell his family where his scars hail from, except for you and his father maybe. But after an earful of scolding, you took care of your reckless boyfriend and sighed.

“You made me worried, you know. I don’t want to see you move a muscle around the house these days, are we clear? You must recover first.”

“Y-yes, captain.” - Childe chuckled humorously, suppressing the soreness his cuts provided around his body. “It’s just… there is only one remedy that could save a fallen soldier like me.”

“Hm? What is it? Do you need something, Ajax?” 

“Please, dear… come closer.” - he said with a pained expression. 

You did so he could whisper to you what he wanted. Your concern was only heightened, oblivious that his dramatic words were playing you - “The secret to my healing… is…”

“Yes?” - you leaned even closer.

“... Some yummy food.”

You blinked at him, and Tartaglia immediately gained a comically “passed out” expression on his face, as if your cooking were his last death wish. You let him plop to the pillow and gritted your teeth - “Why you little-...! Ugh, you’re lucky I am worried about you. You just want me to pamper you.”

“Oh, come on, is that such an unrealistic request? You told me not to move a muscle and I would receive your scolding no matter what. Please, sweetheart, just anything you would like - cook it and I would happily gobble it up!”

You crossed your arms. You hate to admit it, but his puppy eyes were working effectively and if his appetite was returning, that means he is on a good path of recovery anyway.

“Fine… I’ll make something nutritious and easy for your stomach.”

Tartaglia's eyes lightened up in an instant. He was a simple man - if you cooked him something, he would drop on his knees for you instantly. That day, you pondered whether you’d make him some Piroshki or Borscht, but he needed something light. His health was your priority, after all. Even though Childe fancied himself a master at concealing his painful whinces, you are no fool. You always notice them.

Thus, your beloved was presented with Ukha fish soup. A warm bowl with fresh herbs, imported calla lily, and nutritious fish.

“Easy now, I know you like Calla Lily Seafood Soup, since you often had it in Liyue… So I decided to go with the local version of it. Now make sure to eat all of it, or you won’t feel better.”

Like an obedient child, Ajax felt pampered and delighted. Lunch by the bed? His sweetheart feeding him? The injuries were worth it as he happily ate the Ukha fish soup.

“If getting injured makes me taste food more worthy than the gods themselves, maybe I should get wounded more often, haha- Ow!”

Your response was another fistful nudge to his shoulder.  

Kanelbullar - in Swedish, Cinnamon Rolls Bife de chorizo - in Spanish, Argentinian beef cut Pico de Gallo - in Spanish, Mexican salsa/dip Kibbeh - in Arabic, bulgur parcel stuffed with minced meat filling (in Genshin, they just called it meatballs lol) Chazuke - in Japanese, green tea poured over a rice meal (Scara's signature dish)  Mora Meat - had to look this one up, apparently Genshin is referencing RouJiaMo (肉夹馍) meaning “meat in a bun". Ukha fish soup - in Russian, also known as fisherman’s soup. Childe’s signature Calla Lily Seafood Soup is probably a variation made with Gēng found in Chinese cuisine. But there is a Slavic variation that reminded me of his signature dish. 

[kenniesf1]

people we meet on vacation (pt. 4) | OP81

masterlist

pairing: oscar piastri x singer!reader (smau!)

summary: oscar and his childhood best friend, whose families always vacationed together, haven't seen each other in forever. maybe the f1 2025 season summer break is the time for them to rekindle?

tropes: friends to lovers, fluff, angst, social media + written, based loosely off of people we meet on vacation by emily henry

oscarpiastri

liked by lando, mclaren, and 1,043,918 others

oscarpiastri Kicking things off with the Belgian Grand Prix! Glad to be back, fully focused and rested.

view all comments

user75 YN IS NOT IN THE LIKES

user76 and he's lost all sense of aesthetic (*this post is a mess*) so ya something happened

user77 I don't think Oscar appreciates you guys talking about that girl if he doesn't like her ???

user78 what is with psychos like this who act like they know the drivers and hate on the women in their lives 💀

lando oscar piastri default emote

oscarpiastri 🙂

user79 he's soooo cuteeeee i want to squish him

mclaren Please don't, he's leading the WDC for us

charles_leclerc Can't wait to see you on the track 👍 liked by author

ediepiastri answer my texts hoe

oscarpiastri you're being annoying

georgerussell63 is yn coming to the race?

user80 NOTICE HOW OSCAR DIDN'T EVEN LIKE THE MESSAGE, EVEN THO HE LIKED EVERY COMMENT OTHER DRIVERS SENT

rolemodel nah dafuq

user81 something totally happened

quadlock Like a winner!

logansargeant Paddock pass 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

oscarpiastri ... girl i sent you one A WEEK AGO

logansargeant i feel so appreciated rn

yn.jpg

liked by rolemodel, mclaren, and 824,711 others

yn.jpg i'm so excited to announce i've returned to the studio!!! not only do i have an album coming out soon (will announce properly shortly), but i've also had the opportunity to make a cover of one of my favorite songs of all time with one of my closest friends. thank you, tuck, for recording with me and putting up with all my annoying, heart-eyes ranting. i've always liked to cover music, but i've never recorded those covers--you guys, as my lovely fans, have at concerts! so this cover of "everything has changed" is dedicated to you. it was mine (or, i guess, ours oscarpiastri) and now it's yours <3

view all comments

user81 GUYS I THINK IT'S HAPPENING

user82 IM TWEAKING OUT, I LITERALLY WAS SO CONVINCED THEY WERE OVER

user1 so nice to see mclaren back in the likes

lizzymcalpine AHHH I LOVE IT!!!

yn.jpg you've heard it already 😭

user83 guys am i the only one that clocked the ALBUM ANNOUNCEMENT????

rolemodel i did not consent to that photo oh hell nah the fuck

yn.jpg actually in that contract we signed, you gave away your right to photo dump approval

lando will listen!

user84 who thought yn would make lando into a swiftie

taylorswift Amazing!

yn.jpg i literally love you

user85 GIVE US THE ALBUM, LN

gracieabrams no crumbs. no notes.

yn.jpg take me on tour with youuuu

user86 where is the oscar comment?

user87 yeah, or the like. why is bro acting nonchalant, she basically just soft launched?

oscarpiastri playing everything has changed - yn ln, role model

liked by yn.jpg, nicolepiastri, and 1,432,009 others

oscarpiastri i love my girlfriend.

in other words...

yn, i've known you since we were little kids, fighting over rubber ducks and splashing in strong sea waves. everything you do amazes me and teaches me and inspires me. but it's not what you do that has made you so impossible to NOT be in love with (although it definitely helps), it's who you are. i can't believe it took me this long. sorry, love.

view all comments

yn.jpg i love you osc ❤️

user1 girl we've been SAYING

user88 slide 2 🥵

nicolepiastri Finally, you two got your shit together.

oscarpiastri mum 😭

lando nah, mrs. piastri, facts. stand on business queen.

hattiepiastri i deserve the credit, i did all the work

user89 yk what i see that. thank you hattie for your devotion to the ynoscar fandom 🙏

hattiepiastri i basically started it 💀

mclaren So cute!

alexandrasaintmleux don't mess this up piastri

oscarpiastri don't plan to 🫡

alex_albon i guess this makes sense... liked by author

kimiantonelli bro took my girl

oscarpiastri blocked.

user90 he does not PLAYYYYY

charles_leclerc when will i get to meet her, son?

yn.jpg you have ...

carlossainz55 ate down (is that what the kids say)

lando sure

user1 THIS IS MY ROMAN EMPIREEEEEEE

yukitsunoda you guys scared me there for a second

user23 you and me both

user8 glad i jumped ship

user1 🫶

logansargeant HE USED HER COVER OF A FRIENDS-TO-LOVERS SONG GUYS

user91 um logan?

ynoscarfan1 sorry, forgot to switch accounts

user1 HELPPPP-

yn.jpg posted a story!

flashback -> july 23rd, 2025 - 00:02

Somehow, they made it back to the hotel with their hands off of each other. The second the thick door to the room closed, Yn and Oscar grabbed each other, as if the mere centimeters between them had been too much distance. Maybe it was making up for the years they'd spent, living under the guise of "friendship". Kissing Oscar was everything Yn had dreamed of, but somehow, even her dreams weren't as good as the reality. Her hands in his soft hair, him pressing her gently against the wall. The slight curve of his lips, hinting at a smile--he was fucking perfect.

Oscar's hands felt steady on her hips, occasionally going up to brush a loose strand out of her face, lingering on her neck. He, too, had spent the last few nights imagining this, playing it over and over again in his head. He'd begun to feel like a mad man. Hence, him, too, being in awe of how much better it was to have her there, to hold her, rather than to imagine it in the edges of his closed eyes.

But it couldn't last all that long. "Stop," he said, directing the statement at himself rather than at Yn. "We should stop. Yn, please." She pulled away slowly, clearly struggling to stop, just as he was. Her beautiful eyes, the ones Oscar had gazed into a million times over, looked so confused and hurt. He made it quick. "We need to talk about this."

She pulled him in once more, ending the kiss right before thoughts of communication fled Oscar's love-ridden brain. "I know," she confessed, holding his hands and refusing to look away from the sight.

"I'm so scared," he admitted with the hope that that small big of raw honesty was enough to get her to look him in the face. It was. "I'm so scared, Yn. I've gone over it a million times over. This"--he gestured so tenderly between the two of them--"never ends well. I don't want to risk what we have--because we have so fucking much--for something that might not work."

Her head tilted naturally, as if getting a new angle would help her figure out just what to say. "Oscar," she finally stated, brushing her thumb against the side of his hand, "I like you. As a friend, I like you. And I get why you're scared. Up until tonight, I was so, so scared. I mean, do you think I want to lose you? No, of course I don't. Just the fucking idea of that had me keeping this you-and-me together thing hidden for years.

But I'm in love with you. I'm not afraid to say that now. I don't know for how long it has lasted or how long it will last, but I am. I've been trying to cope with the possibility of us not working out for my whole life, when really I should've been figuring out how to deal with the high fucking probability of us ending quickly. Because that's what'll happen if I don't tell you this right now. I can't just be friends with you. I don't think I was built for it.

I can't go on fucking vacation with you, sleep next to you, and be okay with having your hand brush against mine instead of hold it. I can't be friends with you. It fucking sucks and it's scary. But it's the truth. Don't we deserve to try, after all these years, instead of be bitter and repressed and die out fucking slowly?" No one had looked at him the way Yn was looking at him now.

"Yeah," he breathed out, his shoulders relaxing. "We do."

"Let's try," she said, more as a question than a decision. "Let's just say fuck it and try. I'm in love with you, Osc, I can't not try."

"Fuck," he said, pulling his hand back to run it through his hair. Oscar gave her another look. "I'm in love with you." This time, it was him to put his hands on the sides of her face, memorizing it before reaching out for yet another life-fucking-changing kiss.

"I'm so in love with you, Yn."

ANDDDDD that's a wrap on the people we meet on vacation! i really hope you guys enjoyed this little series because i had such a great time writing it! it means so much to me that there's even one person out there reading these tiny fics, much less more of you. what a whirlpool of a fic! i'm looking forward to writing more for you guys, so please don't hesitate to reach out with requests or recommendations or even feedback.

mine to yours,

kennie

[heytopman]

Pups 4 Sale

“Pups for sale” the sign read in black blocky letters. John couldn’t believe it. He was just talking to his girlfriend about adopting a dog and here a sign just up the road from his house was offering them up. He couldn’t wait! He called the number. 

“Heeelllo”, a voice drawled over the receiver. “How can I help you?” 

“Hi, I’m calling for the dogs for sale. Just wanted to to check and make sure you still had some.” 

“Oh sure, we got plenty of pups. Take the exit off 95, can’t miss us.” 

“Great! Is there an address or—“ **click**. The call ended. “Well okay then…guess we’re doing this the old fashioned way.”  

John made his way down the highway and turned off 95. In his mind all the businesses off these highways were sleazy, porno hubs; but sure enough, a small building appeared as the last gleams of sunshine touched the horizon. As John entered the building he was overcome by a strong musk. His nose turned up at the heavy odor. It was like someone had thrown him head first into a hamper of his fellow Rugby bros used jockstraps…maybe this wasn’t the place for him. He heard a whimper behind one of the doors. Curious, he pushed the door slightly ajar. 

“Well hi there. You must be the man that called earlier, John was it?” John turned around with a start to find himself looking down at a wiry, muscular man. 

“Hi yes, but I don’t recall giving you my name-“ 

“Well, ain’t you a brick shit house? You’re gonna make one of these pups mighty happy. Come on in and we’ll get you outfitted.” 

John wanted to protest, but the longer he huffed the potent, musk ladened air the less his mind could function. He found himself lumbering behind the scrawnier man toward a counter racked with leather collars and leashes, chains and crops. Before John could protest he found the man pulling off his shirt. John’s muscled chest was now on full display. To his horror his shoes and pants were next to follow. He could only watch as his jock strap covered crotch came into full view. Why was his bulge getting hard?! Was he getting off on this? His girlfriend would never forgive him. 

“My oh my. We don’t have to change that jock that’s for sure. You worked out hard in that. Now why is a straight man such as yourself wearing jockstrap?” 

“Rugby practice.” John responded robotically. 

“Hot. Well I said straight, but you won’t be for long, just keep huffing away at that air.” The nearly naked John found himself breathing deeper, his body covered in a heavy sheen of sweat. Getting smellier and smellier with each passing second.  

“Fuuckkkk”, John breathed out. Although lost in the pheromone haze, he felt incredible. He peered down at the smaller man, just in time to see him uncapping a dark bottle and emptying a thick oil onto his hands. Those hands made their way to his body. His chest heaving as they made purchase. His whole body vibrating as it absorbed the strange liquid; his muscles began to heave and swell larger and larger. 

He could no longer see past his muscled chest, which quickly became coated in a thick pelt of black curly hairs, his sweat soaking into his new hairy chest. His abs rippled and convulsed into hairy cobblestones. His arms erupted into thick hairy hammers held up by his lats. His armpits began to emit the same pungent musk that permeated the air as wiry, rough hairs curled out from them. John could only feel as his legs followed suit, his jockstrap barely able to contain his new thick package and heavy balls. His legs became thick and muscular and just as hairy as the rest of him, his feet enormous and smelly. 

“FUUUCCKKKK!!!” John’s new cock began to pulse and then surged to life, ripping his jockstrap to smithereens as pre cum and stink began to leak from the tip. The new hairy beast of a man could finally think again, but his thoughts drifted to new places. The overpowering musk from the place clarified into individual smells that he could piece out. Each one led him down a scent filled trail. He suddenly knew what kind of “pup” he would be taking home with him.  

As the realization settled in he began seeing the gear that surrounded him in a new light. He needed a new jockstrap after all. He grabbed leashes and collars, he fitted his new massive body with a harness, leather gauntlets and bands. He was fitted with a new leather jock as well. Adorned with a thick zipper that covered a large cod piece, just big enough to hold his massive cock and bull balls. He pulled assless chaps over his tree trunk thighs and found size 13 boots to cover his gargantuan smelly feet.  

The newly minted leather daddy breathed in deeply, pushing his wiry creator aside. The sleazy man could only watch in proud admiration as John followed his nose to a scent so sweet it was impossible to ignore. He made his way to the door he almost walked in earlier and with a heavy shove he slammed the door open. There before him was the most beautiful pup he’d ever seen, golden hair, blue eyes, muscled in all the right places with a fatty chest and plump, thicc ass. The daddy adjusted his chaps as fresh blood pumped to his fat cock. 

“I’ll take him.” He smiled and with a quick **click** he attached the new leather collar and leash and led his new pup to his truck. 

                                       … 

Several months passed, Master John and his pup Jake developed an impossibly strong bond. Out in the real world they were husbands, devoted and kind, the type of gays you’d want at your neighborhood barbecue. But behind closed doors? Jake was Spark the devoted pup to his Master, his holes always ready for use, his body smooth and immaculately tended to, his only purpose in life was to fulfill his masters every sexual desire. 

Master’s scent drove all the other Dads in the neighborhood wild annd after asserting his dominance, Master would bring over other daddies for “poker night”. With each game the men would slowly transform into hot, hairy muscle beasts just like John, but none so dominant. Spark’s job was to service the smelly men in any way they needed. Often times they would unzip their jeans allowing Spark full access to their ever growing bones under the poker table. The ultimate pot winner was awarded the use of Spark’s tight asshole. The night always ended with Spark howling and whimpering as he bounced up and down on the hairy, smelly, muscular prize winner. His cock only spraying when Master John gave his permission. “Okay Spark…CUM!” 

Maybe the other Daddies would have to get live in pups of their own? I’m sure their wives would understand. Master John knew just the place where they could adopt.

[gimmethatagustd]

himbo hours | kth

Trouble always seems to follow Taehyung. An innocent night of finding new friends to share his alcohol, drugs, and boxy smiles quickly turns into a mess when he accidentally punches you, a poor, unsuspecting clubgoer, right in the face. Whoops!

Relationship: Himbo Taehyung x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Jersey Shore AU (jshdkfk), Meet Ugly, 2000s AU, Minor Violence, Drunk/High Sex, Cocaine, Blow Jobs, Vaginal Sex, Public Sex (Ocean Sex), Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Creampie, Humor, Crack

Word Count: 7,095

A/N: We can all thank @sailorsoons for saving my ass cuz I definitely permanently deleted this fic by accident and hali came to my rescue 😩 mvp of 2025 !! she also made the banner so like, what can't hali do

Part of the jeju shore collab.

Taehyung was a chill dude, alright? He came to Jeju Shore to have fun with his bros, do some drugs, fuck some pretty girls, and maybe get a tan. Super chill. 

In all honesty, he probably would have preferred to be playing Farmville than standing at the bar with a vodka shot in his hand and a lost puppy look on his face. But sometimes he had an itch he just had to scratch and today that was, uhhhh, getting drunk at the club and nursing his coke addiction, maybe? Seemed about right! 

If only he could find his friends. 

Jimin and Jungkook were nowhere to be found. Tae couldn’t really even remember if the two guys had even gone to the club with him; the pregame at their vacation home was pretty wild. So now he had a shot of vodka he was supposed to give to his soulmate, Jimin, and yet the guy was missing in action. What was Tae supposed to do? His bromance was clearly not as strong as he thought it was! 

Guess it was time to get crossed. 

Taehyung threw the shot back, shivering a little at the slight sting as the vodka went down. He needed to find some new friends, but looking at the crowd of people gyrating to the music made his brain slosh around in his skull. Especially considering he wore neon green shutter shades that prevented him from seeing at least half of what was in view, and virtually no way of seeing far ahead. But, Sexy Chick by David Guetta and Akon was blasting through the club, and that’s all that really mattered.  

Eventually, his eyes landed on a guy dancing near the perimeter of the room. He grinned with large, bright teeth and laughed with his whole body as he vibed to the music. Taehyung made a beeline for him, drawn to the way he oozed happiness and innocence in a club full of debauchery. 

Approaching the guy, Tae waved his hand in his face. 

“Hey, dude! Do you wanna do a bump?!” So much for innocence, right? 

Taehyung was just trying to be nice. When someone had drugs, they were supposed to share. Wasn’t that what the DARE Program was all about? DARE rhymes with share, and sharing is caring, something along those lines… 

Speaking of lines! Taehyung couldn’t understand why the guy he was trying to share with kept sticking out his fist. Every time Taehyung tried to grab him, the guy would just jab his fist into the air. He looked like such a nice guy, so Taehyung was sure he wasn’t trying to cause any trouble. Unlike half the population around here. 

“FIST PUMP?!”

“No, I said, Do. You. Wanna. Do. A. BUMP?!” 

“YEAH, FIST PUMP, BRO!” 

This wasn’t going the way Tae thought it would, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Fist pumping was pretty fucking epic, wasn’t it? Gave him a rush, like he was punching all his energy into the universe. He was being helpful. The universe needed more good energy, anyway. Everyone was so emo all the time. 

But soon Taehyung realized fist pumping was all fun and games until he felt his knuckles crack against something solid, but soft. A small shriek was just barely audible over the bumping of the club music, and Taehyung watched you double over beside him with your hands pressed against your cheek. 

Oh shit. 

“What the fuck, dude?!” 

Two girls flanked you, one of them stepping forward to jab a manicured finger into Taehyung’s chest while the other checked your injury. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You think you can go around punching people in the fucking face, huh? Who the fuck do you think you are?” 

“I d-d-didn’t m-m-mean to.” 

Taehyung twisted around to have the smiling boy vouch for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Why was everyone in Jeju Shore so aggressive?? Well, maybe it wasn’t that it was Jeju Shore specifically, but more that it was the people Taehyung was spending time with. He’d already almost gotten into a bar fight the day before. In his defense, the scary guy’s girlfriend was flirting with Taehyung, not the other way around. 

At least the two girls didn’t have glass bottles to throw at him, though he figured they could get some if they wanted to. Who knew clubbing was so dangerous? 

Right when the girl looked like she was going to clock Taehyung, you placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Kimmy, it’s fine.” 

“The fuck it’s not!” 

“I swear, it’s fine.” Your eyes met Taehyung’s for a split second and he felt his breath get caught in his throat. 

You were quite possibly the prettiest person he’d ever seen in his life. Probably the prettiest in the entire world. In the entire universe. Definity in the club and Jeju Shore and, fuck, everywhere. Taehyung had punched the prettiest person in the history of human existence. What was wrong with him?! He could feel his stomach start to twist, and he wiped his now clammy hands onto the thighs of his jeans. He really shouldn’t have worn an all-denim outfit; he was starting to sweat all over. 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay? Can you guys just wait for me at the bar?” 

Kimmy and the other girl nodded, shooting Taehyung dirty glares as they pushed their way through the crowd. He watched you give him another quick glance before you turned and slipped into the crowd, too. His fingers twitched at his sides, grasping for nothing. There was no way he was letting you go. 

“Wait, wait!” 

Taehyung’s voice was drowned out by the heavy bass of some EDM dubstep-type shit vibrating through the air in violent sound waves. He shoved through gyrating bodies and people sucking each other’s faces until he made it to the perimeter of the club to see you turn the corner into the short hallway that led to the bathrooms. 

Taehyung’s shutter shades made him bump into at least three people before some guy snatched them off his face, his nails slightly scratching the apple of Taehyung’s cheek. 

“Bro, fucking take these off, you look like a douchebag.” The guy flung the shades into the crowd and Taehyung nearly got lost in the colors of the psychedelic club lights reflecting off the lime green plastic before it disappeared into the crowd. 

Shit, he needed to focus. 

Taehyung did a little jog towards the bathrooms once he found a clearing in the crowd. Maybe it was nerves or maybe it was his inebriated state, but his stomach continued to flip and his heart was beating a little bit too fast as it clawed its way up his throat. Gathering up his courage, he took a deep breath and pushed through the bathroom doors. Maybe he should have tried to freshen himself up before he ran after you. Taehyung already knew the smell of sweat and vodka had found its home in his clothes and the fluffy waves of his hair. He lifted his hand to touch his head, grimacing to find his bangs were stuck to his forehead with sweat. Quickly catching his reflection in one of the mirrors, Taehyung fluffed around his hair until he looked less… keyed up. 

He almost forgot why he was even trying to look cute until he heard a light cough from one of the stalls. You stepped out with a lit cigarette dangling from your fingers. Taehyung watched you bring the cigarette to your lips, a little bit of your black lipstick smudging onto the butt of it. 

“Hey!” Taehyung shouted a bit too enthusiastically in the tight space. 

You shot him a glare as Taehyung took a step closer. With barely any space separating you, you flicked your cigarette onto the floor. If he was sober he may have considered the possibility that he was overstepping boundaries, but he was simply determined to close the gap between himself and an absolute angel. 

So maybe it was his spidey senses tingling or the fact that he was turnt, but Taehyung had enough sense to do a half skip to the side just as your leg unexpectedly flew forward. The toe of your pink and white checkered Vans smashed right into the meat of his thigh, just barely missing the most precious part of him. He could practically feel his balls retracting into his body out of fear. 

“Ow, hey! Stop it!” Taehyung crossed his arms across his groin in a shield against a possible double attack. “I’m just trying to help!” 

You glowered at Taehyung, eyes scanning his pathetic stance. He was sure you were taking in his blown-out pupils and red-tinged eyes, but hopefully, he could give you a smoldering look and that would woo you. The idea flashed through his head and he immediately executed it without much thought, standing to his full height and giving you his classic smirk. His chin slightly tilted up and he carded his hand through his hair, tongue sweeping the inside of his cheek. 

“Hey,” he tried again, eyebrows raised. 

“If you touch me I swear to god I will fuck your shit up,” you insisted, arms crossed against your chest. “I’ll scream.” 

Taehyung’s eyes grew wide and he dropped all attempts to be sexy. 

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for hurting you,” he said with a deep pout and sad puppy eyes that would have been a bit more convincing if the two of you weren’t standing in the bathroom of a fucking nightclub. 

You brought your hands down to stick them inside your pockets. Taehyung noticed your thong was exposed by your low-rise jeans and the fact that you were wearing a tiny Juicy Couture tank top that showed your midriff. 

God, why did he already feel like he was going to get hard just by looking at you? He really needed to lay off the coke. 

“I’m okay, Rocky” you insisted, waving his concerns away. “Seriously, dude. Don’t worry about it.” 

Taehyung couldn’t possibly let it go, though. 

“I could totally take you to the hospital right now. I have my keys with me and I’m definitely okay to drive. I might look fucked up but my head is completely fucking clear, I swear.” Should he have driven the guys to the club? Absolutely not. Did it really matter? He already had a DUI before and the whole thing wasn’t that bad. “Do you want me to walk in a straight line? I can do it if that would help convin-” 

“I don’t need to go to the hospital, geez. It wasn’t that hard of a hit,” you said with a laugh and a shake of your head. You maneuvered around him to wash your hands in the sink. Catching his eyes through the mirror, you pointed to your spotless cheek as if to emphasize that you were fine. “You’re a weird dude, you know that? Chillax.” 

And with that, you spun on your heel and left. 

Taehyung stood with his mouth hanging open. He needed to chillax? You were the one who tried to kick his balls into his stomach! 

“Whoa, wait a second.” He followed you out of the bathroom and skidded to a halt when you turned around to face him. 

“What now, Rocky?”

“You kicked me!” 

“You punched me! We’re even now,” you countered. You leaned your shoulder against the wall and gave him a smirk. “Although I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to pay me back in another way.” 

Now that was a language Taehyung understood. His pout morphed into a boxy grin and the way he looked your body over was undeniably obvious. 

“I could think of a few things.” 

“Ugh, gross, I meant maybe you could buy me a drink or something.” 

Oof. His beautiful angel was calling him gross. That was a buzzkill if he ever had one. But Taehyung was not the type to let people get him down! He leaned his shoulder against the wall to match your stance, shortening the distance between the two of you. You were close enough for him to feel your breath brush against the base of his neck, and you had to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. 

“Or something?” he mused. 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated his question and Taehyung tried to ignore the way you being so close to him was making his mouth dry. “Yeah, or something.” 

“Wanna do a bump? Not a fist pump. That’s how we ended up here, fuck. A bump. You know what that means?” He was confused about the little puff of laughter you exhaled at his question, but you were talking again before he could do anything more. 

“Yeah, why not.” 

Taehyung found himself grinning again, and the giggly, bubbly, floaty way he was soaring into action made him feel like he really was on cloud nine. He grabbed your hand and dragged you back into the bathroom. From his pocket, Taehyung retrieved a dime bag of white powder. 

“I like to pack it small. Makes it easier, right?” But when he looked up, you were looking at him, not the bag. He grinned, a quirked eyebrow shortly following. “You okay with the sink?”

There was your damn laugh again, though this time you gave him the courtesy of pointing out what was so funny. Taehyung followed your gaze to see a large neon sign hanging on the wall: PLEASE DON’T DO COKE IN THE BATHROOM. 

“Oops,” he pouted as he meticulously dumped the perfect line up the bathroom sink. The location was more than questionable, but what other surface could they use? Club bathrooms were always disgusting, especially in this part of Jeju Shore. The two of you were drunk enough that cleanliness (or a lack thereof) wasn’t going to deter you. His cute freckled nose breathed in until nothing was left. He shivered, pinching his nostrils for a few seconds before letting you take over. 

Shit, he should have asked to snort it off of you. What the fuck was he, a rookie?! 

“I’m Y/N, by the way,” you said with a sniffle, allowing Taehyung to stash his little bag away. 

“Oh, right. I should have introduced myself. Wow. I’m doing this all wrong.” Taehyung smacked himself in the forehead and immediately regretted the decision. “I’m Taehyung.” 

“Hmm, Taehyung’s cuter than Rocky. A cute name for a weird guy.” 

“I’m not cute?” 

“Maybe a little.” 

“Well, I think you’re gorgeous. Like really fucking beautiful. I feel like you’re the most perfect person in the world.” Taehyung reached out to lace his fingers with yours and pulled you forward.  

You leaned in to brush a bit of powder off his nose. “Oh yeah? That’s bold for a guy who just punched me.” 

“I’m serious,” Taehyung breathed. The alcohol and narcotics pumping through his veins were boosting his confidence tenfold, so he didn’t feel nervous when he grabbed you and slid his fingers beneath the thin waistband of your thong at your hips. The feeling of your skin hot beneath his fingertips had him absolutely delirious. “Fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad. It would feel so good.” 

Taking hold of his jean jacket, you yanked Taehyung closer to you. He sucked in his breath when he felt your fingers skate across his chest since he was shirtless underneath. So maybe he was acting a little desperate. And maybe he didn’t care. But Taehyung ducked his head to get closer to you with his eyes fluttering closed and his pink lips parted. 

“No way you’re kissing me in here.” You pulled yourself free from Taehyung’s embrace and the deep pout he wore on his face made you laugh. You hooked your finger through his belt loop with a little tug. “Come on, Rocky. We’re going swimming.” 

Taehyung stumbled behind you as you dragged him out of the nightclub and into the warm summer air twinged with salt from the ocean so close by. He was more than happy to have you lead him across the boardwalk and down to the beach, not even caring that his Tims were filling with sand and the moisture was turning the tips dark brown. 

“Show me how beautiful you think I am.”

You threw the challenge over your shoulder as you ran towards the ocean. Taehyung watched with his tongue practically lolling in his mouth as you tossed your tank top onto the ground. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, rushing to follow you. 

By the time he’d reached the edge of the water, you were in nothing but your bra and thong, already in the ocean up to your waist. You swam close to a smattering of rocks in the water, sticking nearby in case you needed something to hold onto. Taehyung quickly ripped off his clothes and tossed them into the sand with yours. Although the water lapping at his ankles as he carefully waded to you would have felt chilly, he felt fine thanks to the alcohol-induced heat spreading through his body. Or maybe the heat was from finally reaching you. 

It was definitely your close proximity that had his heart pounding in his chest, despite the concoction of alcohol and narcotics. You beckoned him closer, but all Taehyung could focus on was the way beads of water shimmered on your skin and how he could see your nipples erect from the cool temperature through your bra. The moonlight glittered like diamonds across the water’s surface and into your eyes as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. 

“Are you gonna kiss me or what, Rocky?” 

Taehyung grinned like an idiot at the (unfortunately) fitting nickname you were determined to make stick. He felt like the two of you were close now that you’d given him a nickname. That was a pretty big deal, right? Even if it was a boxing reference. 

“Yes, please,” Taehyung whispered as he repeated his action from earlier, ducking his head down to finally reach your face. 

He playfully bumped his nose against yours and your giggles were just as gentle as the waves rolling in around you. Something about you made him want to take his time. He brushed his lips against yours, offering a small sigh when he felt your tongue glide out to swipe against his bottom lip. Your impatience had you pulling Taehyung even closer. The water made your bodies stick together and Taehyung could feel you spread your legs slightly to rub yourself against his cock. His soaked briefs did nothing to hide how aroused he was; all they acted as was merely a second skin by this point. The same was true for your already flimsy thong.  

“Shit.” He groaned against your lips and tried not to buck his hips forward. It was an increasingly difficult feat once you lifted one leg to hook around Taehyung’s waist. The action opened your thighs a bit more and allowed you to press your core directly against his cock. 

“I told you to kiss me. Don’t you want to?” Your whine had Taehyung’s cock twitching so bad he was using your grinding against his cock to both chase pleasure and calm himself down. Water splashed between your bodies when you pressed yourself fully against his chest. Your hands migrated to the wavy hair at the back of Taehyung’s head. The tug you gave his hair brought his lips crashing into yours. 

The kiss was sloppy and salty and utterly desperate. Your limbs weaved with Taehyung’s like your tongues circled each other, mouths hot and bodies cool. One hand dropped down to grab your thigh, holding the leg you’d crossed over his waist in place. Keeping you steady made it easier for Taehyung to roll his hips into yours. He enjoyed the way you held back moans when the head of his clothed cock pressed against your clit through your thong. Taehyung was never afraid to be vocal. If anything, it seemed to heighten the tension that built up between him and his partner. 

So when you dragged your nails down Taehyung’s abdomen he was perfectly willing to whimper until your hand slipped inside of his briefs. His whimpers morphed into full moans as you squeezed his cock. You effortlessly pumped him until he was biting your lips, your neck, your shoulder - wherever he could to leave marks and release as much pressure as he possibly could. 

It was only when you pulled his briefs down enough to release his cock that Taehyung finally broke free of your spell. 

“Fuck, Y/N, wait,” Taehyung said with a shaky exhale and placed his hand over yours. It took all of his willpower to stop your thumb from circling the slit of his head.  “Let me put you up here.” 

He grabbed your hips and lifted you onto a smooth part of the rock so that you were no longer in the water. He was always telling Jungkook about not fucking people in pools; it was definitely bad for vaginal health. The ocean had to be way worse! Taehyung didn’t really consider himself to be responsible, but he knew how to be a gentleman, he was pretty sure. The whole punching thing was totally an outlier. Really. 

“Are you serious?” You watched Taehyung lift himself out of the water and he was acutely aware of how long your gaze lingered on his body. 

“It’s not good to have sex in the ocean,” he insisted. “Fish shit in there. Plus, pollution. Algae. Whatever else! We’ve only explored, like, twenty percent of the ocean!” 

It seemed like common sense! Yet there you were, laughing at him again. Could he really be that funny? Jungkook and Jimin never thought so. 

“That’s what you’re thinking about? Getting germs in this pussy instead of your dick?” 

The question shut Taehyung up. He wasn’t sure what to say, since… yes, you were correct. That was what he was thinking about, but he assumed it was a good thing. He was being responsible. Yeah, he realized that wasn’t particularly sexy of him, but he’d be damned if he was the one who caused you to get a yeast infection! Or even worse! (He wasn’t sure what would be worse, but there definitely had to be something worse.) 

“I take my partner’s safety very seriously,” he finally responded with a pout and furrowed brows. 

“Hmm…” You smirked at Taehyung as he inched towards you to hover over your body. He didn’t give a fuck if he got any cuts on his palms and knees. “I’m your partner now?” 

“Yes.” He leaned down to lick a smooth stripe up your neck that made you shiver beneath him. 

“Sounds a little possessive.” 

Taehyung sucked dark hickeys onto the tops of your tits while his hands roamed down to spread your legs so he could position himself between them. Possessive wasn’t the way he’d describe his personality, yet he couldn’t help but enjoy the thought of you walking around the next morning with his hickeys covering your chest. Or, even better, the thought of you with his cum still inside of you. Those thoughts alone had Taehyung’s breathing pick up speed, and he sucked your skin even harder. 

“Maybe.” His expression grew soft as looked up to meet your lidded eyes. “Can I have you?” 

With your lip bitten between your teeth, you slowly nodded. 

The boxy grin and crinkled eyes he gave you in response were enough to make anyone give in to him. 

You leaned back and propped yourself on your forearms as Taehyung planted kisses against your wet skin. He ran his tongue along the crease of your thigh where the edge of your thong sat plastered against your body. Ocean water made you taste salty, but Taehyung didn’t mind. If anything, it made his mouth water even more for you. 

He pressed his tongue flat against your clothed pussy and flicked upwards until the tip of his tongue pushed against your clit. Despite your thong being in the way, it was so wet and tight against your lips that Taehyung could see your swollen clit through it by the light of the moon. He sucked and nipped it over the fabric, his dark eyes locked with yours to watch your face scrunch up in pleasure. If he thought you were beautiful before, you were near deadly now. Your lips were puffy from how much he’d bitten them and he could only think about how sweet your tongue might feel circling his cock when he watched it slip out to wet your lips. But the most beautiful part was the way the moonlight’s diamonds continued to dance in your eyes. 

When you bucked into his face, he hooked his arms around your thighs to hold them in place. The position allowed your legs to drape over Taehyung’s broad shoulders and he pulled you closer to his face. 

“F-F-Fuck.” 

The way you whimpered and shivered beneath his hot mouth only fueled the fire within him. Every desperate sound that tumbled from your lips sent ripples of electricity straight to his throbbing cock. He pulled at your thong with his teeth and the soaked fabric dragged down your legs with ease until you were kicking them away. 

“Don’t you want to be careful…?” Taehyung asked as you reached behind yourself to unclasp your bra. That article of clothing was also tossed to the side, very close to the edge of the rock. 

Taehyung was pretty sure lingerie was expensive. He’d never bought any before, but he’d seen plenty. The lacey bits, all the straps, the intricate designs, and the little buckles, clips, and clasps. Anything even remotely difficult for him to remove had to be expensive in his opinion. Maybe next time he was in a relationship he would buy some lingerie, so that way he knew. Maybe he could buy some for you. 

“Who cares?” You snapped, too impatient for his stupid questions. You reached down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “If you don’t fuck me with your mouth right now, I swear to god.” You gave his hair a tug and Taehyung moaned, leaning into your pull. 

He’d eat fucking sand if you told him to. Shovel it in with both hands like it was his last meal. 

“Don’t worry,” he murmured against your stomach, each word punctuated by a soft kiss that chased away little beads of water. “I wanna give you whatever you want.” 

You squirmed as he swirled his tongue across your skin lower and lower until he finally traced your lips with the tip of his tongue. Rather than diving in, though, he pulled his face away and brought his wet fingers to you instead. Taehyung ran his finger along your clit. His movements were slow; he wanted to savor the feeling of you attempting to squeeze your legs around his shoulders while he teased you. 

“You like that?” Taehyung flashed you a grin. He was determined to commit your expression to memory: fucked out and concentrated, lips parted in another whine. Desperate despite the fact that you’d been calling the shots. He liked it, you telling him what to do. That didn’t mean he couldn’t tease you a little bit, though. 

“Fuck, yes, don’t be a dick about it,” you challenged with a shudder and a buck of your hips. You tried using your legs to pull yourself against his face, but Taehyung held you down. 

“So needy and impatient,” he murmured. His tongue slipped out to lick at a few beads of water trickling down the inside of your thigh. “Maybe say please first? Everyone in Jeju has terrible manners.” 

You gasped when Taehyung’s teeth bit at the skin he’d just licked. He was sure the sharp pain was welcomed when your hold of his hair tightened. It was interesting. 

“Please, I wanna feel you.” 

At first, Taehyung only somewhat obliged. He brought his mouth down to your pussy, pressing a gentle kiss against your clit that made you tug his hair even harder. Figuring he should probably give you what you so politely asked for, Taehyung licked at your entrance, lapping up your arousal while you got as comfortable as you could - considering you were on a fucking rock. 

“Mmm,” he moaned against your clit. “You taste good.” 

As was the case with your skin, the ocean made you taste salty, but Taehyung was never the type to judge someone’s body. Unlike some douchebags, he was very willing to drown in pussy. He’d suffocate in it. You could have squeezed his head until he exploded and he’d be perfectly okay with that. What you tasted like mattered very little. 

The waves slapping against the rock formed a rhythm that seemed to mimic the way Taehyung licked at you. He pushed your arousal up to your clit, wetting it further by spitting directly onto it. Each long swipe of his tongue had your breathing grow heavier and your heart rate increase. When he wiggled his tongue back and forth over your clit, the moan you granted him had Taehyung vibrating. A hard suck of your clit earned him an even louder one. 

“Fuck, if you’d told me you eat pussy like this I wouldn’t have tried to fight you.” 

Your words came out tough until the last few lifted upwards in a whimper. Taehyung had slipped two fingers inside of you and began passionately thrusting into your front wall as he continued sucking your clit. He was buzzing from the praise, eager to do whatever it took to get more out of you. Each flick and swirl of his tongue grew faster, and Taehyung didn’t mind the mix of spit and arousal that was smeared all over his mouth and chin. 

“Oh my god, Taehyung, just, just like that, please.” 

It was cute that you were using the magic word on your own now. Your legs tried to close around him, but he kept you spread wide open as rocked his face and pumped his fingers into you. His jaw and tongue were starting to get really fucking tired, but there was no way he was going to give up now. Nope. Not when your legs were beginning to shake and your fingers were digging into Taehyung’s hair so hard that it hurt.

“Ohh fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Honestly, he probably could’ve busted a nut just from hearing you say those beautiful, beautiful words. 

You arched your back and bucked your hips against Taehyung’s face. Your walls were convulsing so hard that he struggled to keep pumping his fingers into you as you trembled through your orgasm. All he could really do was suck your clit with the lightest of kitten licks flicking against the tip as he finally allowed your thighs to squeeze his head. The pressure caused Taehyung to suck in a sharp breath, but he let you ride his face until you were panting so loudly all he heard was you, rather than the ocean, in his ears. 

After a moment your legs finally eased off of Taehyung’s shoulders. He waited until your breathing returned to normal before he moved up your body to slot his lips with yours. 

“Was it okay?” The smirk Taehyung wore said that he knew it was, but he asked to be polite. Or to receive the praise he so loved from you. 

“Just okay.” You shot your own smirk back, but you both knew. “Your turn.” 

Taehyung frowned, taking a look around the space you occupied. Although head sounded so fucking good, it wasn’t realistic. 

“It’s okay,” Taehyung pushed, determined to make you change your mind. “I don’t want you to hurt your knees.” Be it bending over to suck his dick or ride him, the rock’s surface was sure to cut your knees, or at least bruise them. 

You crossed your arms over your chest in what Taehyung assumed was about to be a ready stance to be defiant. 

“Fine.” You slowly rested your body back down to a lying position, but you angled your head upwards to stretch out your neck more. “Then fuck my face like this.” 

You stuck your tongue out to open your mouth all the way for him. Assuming the moonlight wasn’t playing tricks on him, he saw a bit of spit drip from the tip. On top of that, both of your hands came up to play with your tits, nimble fingers pinching at your nipples until they grew hard. 

Taehyung just about passed out. 

“You’re nasty.” The statement nearly came out as a moan, but Taehyung did his best to control himself. He leaned on his knees beside your head and brought one of his hands down to cradle your jaw. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” you insisted. You lifted your head to wrap your lips around the head of his cock and Taehyung cried out with an instinctual buck of his hips. Alright, he got it. He understood. You were serious, fuck, he was going to listen. 

Keeping one hand on your jaw, Taehyung held the back of your head with the other to make sure his movements didn’t make your head hit the rock’s surface. Then he leaned forward to guide his cock into your mouth. Goosebumps rose along his arms and a shiver snaked its way down his back when he bottomed out. The warmth of your mouth was in stark contrast to the cool ocean air. Not only did it feel heavenly the way you pressed your tongue along the underside of his cock as he gently thrusted into your throat, but it felt comfortable. Like he was made to fit you in the most perfect way. 

“Shit, please tell me if I’m hurting you.” 

It was all Taehyung could manage to sputter out as his grip tightened on your jaw and his thrusts pushed deeper into you. You choked in response, the gagging causing drool to leak from the corners of your mouth, but you kept your hands to your tits and didn’t push him away. When you swallowed around his cock, Taehyung let his head hang low and had to stop his movements to compose himself. 

“I’m so fucking high,” he whimpered, gently starting up again. The hypersensitivity was really doing him in because every time he pulled away to see strings of precum and saliva connect the tip of his cock to your lips his head was reeling. He was tumbling toward an orgasm so quickly that paranoia settled in and he started to panic. 

“Oh fuck, baby, fuck, I gotta, I gotta stop.” Taehyung leaned back, your mouth releasing him with a pop and a smack of your lips. You watched him with hungry eyes that only made it harder for him to relax. 

“Are you going to bust quick? Is this about to be two-second-long sex?” Your words sounded accusatory but you licked your lips as you waited for a response. 

“No, no. I swear I’m not like that!” he pleaded. “I’m just, I just… It was just…” 

“Get over here, dude.” 

Your interruption was welcomed. It gave Taehyung the chance to shut up. Even if you hadn’t said anything, your actions would have left him speechless. His dark eyes watched you open your legs and slide your fingers down to part your lips - a view of everything he needed. 

What the fuck was he fumbling his words for and wasting time?? 

Taehyung leaned into you, slotting himself between your legs and gently easing you down with his hand on the small of your back. 

“You don’t have to be so gentle,” you murmured against his lips as his teeth grazed against them, nipping at them each time he felt you sigh. 

“Fuck.” Taehyung heard you loud and clear. He brought three fingers to your face. When he pulled down on your bottom lip you obediently opened up to let him shove them into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his fingers and Taehyung closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of your warm mouth once again. Properly coated with your saliva, Taehyung dragged his fingers along your clit until he reached your entrance. You welcomed him easily, his fingers gliding in and out without resistance. 

“Please, Taehyung,” you groaned, impatiently grinding your hips into his hand.

Pulling his hand away, Taehyung finally replaced it with what you’d both been waiting for. He leaned back on his knees and grabbed your hips to lift your body up and pull you towards him. You bit into your hand to avoid releasing a loud moan as he sank into you, likely a bit faster than you would have expected. But you were impatient and you said he didn’t need to be so gentle, so Taehyung was allowing himself to dive in deep. 

“I told you, you’re so perfect,” Taehyung sighed as he bottomed out. He couldn’t begin to explain to you how warm and wanted you made him feel. Sure, it was probably just the alcohol and drugs talking, but at that moment he felt like there was no one else he was meant to be with but you. 

After he gave you a moment to adjust to him, Taehyung rolled his hips into yours. Going slow in the beginning gave him the opportunity to figure out what you liked and where all your pressure points were. With each thrust, he adjusted his angle to find the spot that would make your legs shake. It wasn’t difficult to hit the right angle nor was it difficult to tell that he’d found it. You immediately squealed, the sound muffled by the crash of ocean waves, and clawed at Taehyung’s forearms. 

“Ohh, Taehyung, you feel so good,” you whimpered. “Faster, please please.” 

His fingers dug into your hips to the point that he was sure it was painful as he began pounding into you. All you could do was hold onto his arms, occasionally letting your hands drop down to claw at his thighs when you got tired of holding your arms out. 

Maybe both of you should have been more concerned about fucking someone random, in the middle of the ocean, no less. But there was no condom nor a working brain cell in sight between the two of you. Instead, there was only salty sweat and slippery cum that made your bodies glide together with the most perfect amount of friction that it was you who was on the verge of busting a nut too quick. 

“Oh my god,” you exclaimed, frantically pushing against Taehyung’s thrusts. “I’m so glad you fucking punched me, fuck fuck fuck.” 

You almost threw him off his rhythm, and he had to squeeze you hard to hold you down. In his delirium, Taehyung caught you bringing your fingers to rub your clit. 

“Let me, okay?” 

He pried your hand from your body and leaned down to spit onto your clit. His fingers quickly took up where you left off, rubbing right circles around your soaked clit until you were a moaning mess writhing beneath him. You began squeezing around his cock so tightly that Taehyung had to practice deep, slow breathing to keep it together. He leaned forward to plant his forearms beside your head and bury his face into the crook of your neck as he fucked you through your orgasm. 

Both of you could be happy to know that the sex did, in fact, last longer than two seconds! Taehyung liked to think that it lasted just the right amount of time before he was completely losing his cool, hips sputtering all over the place and his lips locked tightly to your skin. 

“Inside,” you turned your head to whisper in his ear as you wrapped your legs around his waist to hold him in place. “I wanna feel you, come on baby. Be a good boy for me.” 

That alone was enough to send Taehyung over the edge, finishing inside of you just how you told him to, with his arms shaking. Sweat and saltwater plastered his bangs he tried so hard to keep pretty for you onto his head. He lifted himself off of you just in time to watch a bit of his cum trickle out of you. 

“We’re disgusting,” Taehyung announced as he swirled the cum around with his fingers and stuck it back inside of you. When he brushed his thumb against your clit you groaned and quickly snapped your thighs shut. 

“We need a fucking shower.” 

Taehyung stood on wobbly legs and stuck out his hand to help you onto just as wobbly of legs. He pressed his palms into his eyes while you searched for your underwear that had long been devoured by the ocean. “Do your eyes burn? Fuck, mine burn so bad.” 

“Don’t worry, Rocky. I don’t have gonorrhea or anything,” you waved him off with a snort. “It’s just the saltwater.” 

“I didn’t mean that! I wasn’t thinking that!” Taehyung sputtered, also giving up on finding his underwear. He followed you as you hopped back into the water, quite literally concerned that he might drown from the fact that his body hadn’t started working properly yet. It was unrealistic to expect to cuddle after sex on a rock, but a guy could dream, right?? 

In the water, you wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck to pull him in for a passionate kiss, your tongue exploring the mess that was his mouth. He tried to snake his arms around your waist, but you quickly spun out of his embrace. 

“First one to the beach gets to keep the other’s clothes?” 

It took a moment for Taehyung’s brain to process what you’d said, just a moment too long. You were splashing and kicking the water as you hightailed it to the shore before Taehyung could even form a coherent sentence. 

“WAIT!!” he shouted, doing his best to wade through the water. How many times was he going to yell that word at you? And was it wrong that he admired your cute ass when you reached down to scoop up his discarded clothes? Maybe the karma was that you ran into the sand while he stood at the shoreline butt-ass naked. 

If you kept his clothes, though, that meant you’d have to see him again to give them back. And Taehyung was perfectly okay with that.

[sulfursmells]

Level Up

BBBBRRRRPPPTPTTTTTTT

A loud trumpet blast hits your face, an eggy smell making its way up your nose. A bet, it was a dumb bet that I didn’t think I could lose but here I am. A few inches from Brett’s bubble butt constantly blasting my face. Singeing my nose hair and blowing back my hair. Fogging up my glasses only for the spray of sweat glistening down his cheeks clearing the fog.

“Alright boys here comes another one” Brett says to his gaming buds on the mic.

Ppprrrttt

“Oh that one was smaller than I thought. Lucky y… “ A loud gurgle interrupted a Brett as a devilish grin grew on his face. You couldn’t see his face but you were shaking in fear of what was to come. “Guess your luck has just run out. Listen to this one boys” Brett says. The smell hitting you before you even hear the blast begin.

First it was dry and loud, akin to an orchestra loud and overpowering. A horrid smell but nothing you’re not already used to. After a two minute uproar it was still going strong but got quoted and wetter spraying your face with sweat. The air quality only getting worse as the smell of a barn begins sweeping throughout the room.

“You bro it sounds sick. Be happy y’all aren’t here!” Brett says laughing with each breath.

At minute five you thought it was over quiet apart from Brett’s laughter and then a sight of relief broke his laughter. A vile smell the worst thing you’ve ever smelled entered your nose. You kept gagging not being able to breathe until everything went dark. Brett still ripping for another minute before realizing he couldn’t feel your breath hitting his cheeks anymore.

“Oh look like he passed out. Well that doesn’t mean I stop”

[xoln04f1xo]

You didn't tell him? - LN04

Angst / Fluff

Pairings: LN04 x Verstappen!Reader

WC: 0.7k

Warnings: Swearing

Divider Credit: @anitalenia

You and Lando has mastered the art of subtlety.

Side glances across the garages. Brushed hands in the back of the team hospitality. Late-night facetimes with pillows over the speaker. The occasional escape from the chaos of the paddock for a few hours that felt like yours and yours alone.

It wasn't that you wanted to keep it a secret. It's just... complicated.

You were Max Verstappen's sister. And Lando? Well, he was Lando Norris, Max's friend and occasional rival, depending on the day.

Max wasn't exactly known for his chill.

You knew that doing this was extremely risky. But you also knew how your brother could be when it came to you - protective, territorial, and stubborn as hell.

So you made a deal with Lando early on.

"When the tie feels right," you had promised, tangled in hotel sheets after the Canadian GP, "I'll tell him."

He had nodded, trust in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

But weeks had passed. Then races. Your secret held strong... until it didn't.

It started at Silverstone.

You thought you were careful slipping out of Lando's driver room after the race. But apparently 'careful' didn't include watching for Charles walking by with his PR manager.

The next day... Lando got a text.

Charles: So… you and Verstappen’s sister, huh? Brave. Or stupid. Haven’t decided yet.

Lando almost dropped his phone.

You were waiting for him at the McLaren hospitality when he stormed in, cheeks flushed, phone in hand.

“You told Charles?”

"What? No!" you said, blinking. "Wait... HE KNOWS??"

"He saw you leave. I guess it doesn't take much to do the math and work it out."

"Oh fucking hell."

Lando ran a hand through his hair. "How many more people know y/n? Did we wait too long? Because if Charles knows..."

You bit your lip. "Lando, I'll tell Max. I will. I just... he's been so stressed about the championship lately, and I didn't want to distract him."

Lando gave you a look. “You think he’d rather hear it from Charles in the middle of a media pen?”

Your stomach sank. “…No.”

“Then we need to tell him. Now.”

You spent the next two hours trying to figure out the best way to break it to Max. Lando suggested doing it at dinner - "You know, over steak, like bros do."

You vetoed that instantly.

By the time you worked up the nerve, it was already late. Max had gone to bed. You chickened out.

Again.

The next morning... EVERYTHING exploded

You were getting a coffee in the Red Bull hospitality when Max walked in, tossing his phone onto the table with more force than necessary.

"Why is Charles asking me about Lando?"

You froze.

"What?"

He looked directly at you. "He said, and I quote, 'Hope you gave Lando the talk already.' Care to explain."

Your heart pounded. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out.

That’s when Lando walked in. Perfect timing, as always. Well Oh Fuck

“Hey, Max,” he said casually... until he saw your face.

Then Max looked between the two of you, and realization hit. Hard.

“…Are you serious?”

“Max...”

“You’re dating Lando? And you didn’t tell me?”

You winced. “I was going to...”

"When? After the wedding? Or when I walked in on you two making out in my driver room?"

Lando raised his hands. "Okay, that was one time..."

“You made out in my driver room?”

You both went dead silent.

Max rubbed his face like he was physically restraining himself from throwing something. “You know, if it had been anyone else, I’d have probably decked them. But it’s Lando. And that’s somehow worse.”

“Worse?!” Lando said, offended.

“You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“I am your friend! Which is why I’ve been respectful and didn’t just...”

“Didn’t just what, Lando?”

“Okay!” you cut in, stepping between them. “Let’s not do the testosterone Olympics right now. Yes, we should’ve told you. I should’ve told you. That’s on me.”

Max looked at you, exasperated but quiet.

“I care about him,” you said softly. “And he cares about me. This isn’t just a fling.”

There was a pause. A long one.

Finally, Max let out a breath.

“If you’re going to date my sister,” he said to Lando, “you better treat her like she’s the most important thing in your life.”

“I already do,” Lando said seriously.

Max gave him one last glare, then turned back to you.

“…Still mad at you.”

“Noted.”

He walked away with a muttered, “Don’t get caught in my driver room again.”

You turned to Lando, who was already smirking.

“Progress?”

“Big progress,” you grinned. “We only got mildly threatened.”

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