#my one and only absolute creature
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Neil acting like a sleep paralysis demon at the dorms. Perched up on the furniture while everyone else is sleeping, hunched over, light from the streetlight in his eyes, middle of the night, as he checks his phone, unaware of the effect he is having on everyone.
#neil josten#my one and only absolute creature#aftg#psu foxes#andrew minyard#aftg monsters#kevin day#nicky hemmick#matt boyd#aaron minyard#seth gordon#robin cross#they have all experienced this at one point#robin manages to catch a picture of one of these#and neils eyes do the camera light thing#local cryptid of fox tower#seth caught him first but no one fucking believed him#rip
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OK I apologise if you've already commented on this, but what was Laura's reaction to Alucard coming back with Seras? My gut reaction tells me she wouldn't be overly happy about it, but I'm not 100% certain and I figured it would be best to ask you given that you literally created her.
I've made a little comic about it a while back!
That said, Laura is never that simple so


#hellsing#my art#ask response#hellsing oc#my oc#laura chastel#alucard#seras victoria#walter c dornez#IM BACK#and I am in pain (it is currently 2:09 am)#she's such a Creature#Laura is so annoying#bc one day she's 'girls look out for girls' and the next day she's 'I will fucking Kill you if you look at me I do not know you'#absolute mess of a woman#on one hand she was a bit happy she wasn't gonna be the only woman in the organization beside Integra#but also. new person#technically related to Alucard? tiny Alucard?#cause for alarm#yes her and Walter gossip
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as promised for @great-and-small (and also because I Need to share) the beginning of all my Florida birds and creatures: behold, a bird montage! I encountered 20 new species which is amazing, and this is a small sample of them (subsequent posts will have Special Guys!! including some herps). in order from top to bottom, left to right for each row: northern mockingbird; boat-tailed grackle; limpkin; wood storks; laughing gulls; white ibis; little blue heron; carolina wren; black vulture; anhinga.
the point and shoot canon I have proved to be pretty damn good with the zoom and exposure, with just a bit of touch ups afterwards :)
#animals#my stuff#birds#anhinga#limpkin#northern mockingbird#boat tailed grackle#wood stork#laughing gull#white ibis#little blue heron#carolina wren#black vulture#some fun stories about some of these:#I saw plenty of mature white ibises but funny enough that was the only photo I ended up taking of one?#and its a juvie#the limpkin entry in merlin says its cries are otherworldly and damn they do be right. i heard it before i saw it#lovely bird though#the little blue heron was right in my friend's suburb area and we all got startled when we realized it was right there#it didnt let me get non-motion-blur photos unfortunately#the carolina wren was sunning itself on a boardwalk before we startled it! wish i got photos of that it was so cute#anhingas... sure are Creatures. if that photo doesnt exemplify that#for great-and-small: i probably wont tag you for all of the rest of my posts so you dont get spammed#aaaand hopefully tumblr doesnt absolutely destroy the quality of the photos
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god's specialest little chew toy be upon ye
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#my art#wretched little creature!!#hi i am still fine absolutely dw abt me i am definitely still not obsessing over this game dw dw#these were supposed to be quick little doodles btw#also i drew one siffrin while i had my canvas flipped and now they have the eyepatch on the wrong eye but i only noticed it during coloring#i am leaving it in i am not changing that#i am going back to being a completely normal person dw <- LYING#but i am slowly learning how to draw the pitiful little thing
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public broadcast morticia, platinum record gomez
Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson wc: 3.9k | T | @stevieweek day 3: horror/princess; transfem!stevie; post-canon; getting back together AO3
Stevie shuts the prop book in her lap slowly, allowing the scene to transition out of the story animation and back to real life. For the seconds it is in frame, the red cloth-bound cover of the prop stands out in stark contrast against the gold and black of her skirt. The camera pans slowly back up to her face.
“That would be scary, wouldn’t it?” she asks her future viewing audience. “To wake up one morning and not recognize who you are.”
Wings beat, and a grey tentacle wraps around her shoulder. Robin clicks and coos, moving the demobat puppet in time with the noises. She's probably asking a real question, but Sevie hasn’t picked up much of the language she’s invented for her puppet.
It’s all scripted anyway.
“I agree, Demi. Not having an adult to go to makes it scarier. But wasn’t it brave to keep going even though he was scared?”
Robin chirps and squeaks again. Flapping the puppet’s wings with the special pull cord, she maneuvers the bat around the stage to make it look like Demi is flying.
“Of course, Demi, I’ll always be someone safe for you to go to. I love you.”
Her eyes sting as she says it. God, she cries so much more easily these days. Fucking hormones.
The puppet shivers and shakes in a full-bodied chirp. I love you too.
A howl sounds from just outside the room. Signaling the end of this segment and the start of the next one.
“Dart must hear someone at the door! Let’s see who’s come to visit.”
The pace is her favorite part of the show. Slow, easy. All done as much as possible in one smooth take. Stevie pushes herself up from the dark-patterned wingback chair, smoothing down her skirt, she walks from one room of the set to the other. The camera trails her, giving Robin a chance to move throughout the specially designed paths that keep her out of frame while she’s holding the Demi puppet.
Unlike Demi, Dart doesn’t that closely resemble his namesake. That was for the feds more than the children. Demi had some aesthetic changes to make her look more friendly, rounded body and visible eyes. Dart was changed fundamentally. Instead of the puckered fleshy face, Stevie can run a hand through sparse fur between two pointed ears. The animatronics Dustin helped their puppet master build let them move, giving the whole face more subtle movement than the other puppet is capable of. Good for the larger, German Shepherd-sized build. Even if the focus of the camera is usually on the face, the top jaw dog, wire-haired and angular, and beneath its pink nose, a split bottom jaw that opens in two wide, distinct joints. More cute than dangerous when a long forked tongue lolls out from it.
As Stevie’s thick rubber heels thunk against the floor of the set, Dart’s pit bull stump tail wags in its excitement at her approach. Back from college, Dustin is operating it today. He maneuvers the body so it faces her now that she’s come to get the door. The charmingly dumb look on its face gets her every time — a grin she has to school back to a more appropriately sized smirk.
From off stage, someone cues Dart’s reminding bark.
“Has our guest arrived, Dart?”
Dart can nod when Dustin operates it. Always more sure than the rest of them about the intelligence that lurked beneath those demo creatures. Still, someone once again makes the appropriate answering cue.
Robin is standing outside the set, positioning Demi in a window. She chirps and flaps, Stevie’s cue to begin introducing who is behind the door.
“Today’s scary job will have us confronting our glossophobia, that’s our fear of public performance. If your palms get sweaty when you answer a question at school or you think about throwing up when you have a piano recital, we picked this job to give you a special scare.”
Never a theater kid, Robin teases her at how quickly she’s picked this up. Her cues, like this one to open the door, are always hit. She knows exactly what her face is doing, the way her dark lips hint at a smile, and the way the dark of her makeup makes something dangerous and anticipatory flash in her eyes. She’s yet to have a guest not spook just a little when the door swings open. The danger that she used to be humming under her skin was obvious to them when the sound and light cues hit, making the stage flash and sound with lightning and thunder.
It’s one of the joys of the job.
The outside of the “house” is dark, a dual-purpose choice to hide the sound lot that pairs with how nice it looks in post to have the first glimpse of their guest be in that horror movie strobe.
“Welcome home,” she says as always to the blackness outside her door. Thunder booms first, then lightning streaks, and she’s looking at someone who shouldn’t be here. “Eddie Munson, front man of the band Corroded Coffin.”
She steps numbly out of the way, letting Eddie through her door.
Six years.
Dart rubs its head against her skirt, a move that would be accompanied by a whimper if it were able to make its own sound effects. As it is, she takes the comfort she can get from Dustin. Robin makes a trill; she's not a good enough actor to disguise the nerves in it.
It’s too much to deal with, so as with all things, she decides it’s better not to. There’s a procedure here, a routine. Stevie turns on her heel and starts walking to the set they’re supposed to be on. Eddie can fall into step behind her or, hell, maybe she’ll get lucky and he’ll run away. He’s always been good at that.
Stalking is what she’s doing; it might be what Eddie did too, to find his way over here. Hers means she’s moving too fast through the set for the pace they’re setting, the emotions she’s feeling moving her body like a rocket through the familiar frame of her pretend house. Eddie’s means he’s ruined her fragile peace.
It’s a real multifaceted word. Maybe they should use it for a show. Maybe they could get a zookeeper to bring a big cat on, too.
Eddie finds the guest’s seat at the table, sitting down across from her at the kitchen island, ruining the slight lift of her mood at the plans for a new episode with his continued presence.
He’s already got his hands in the spread on the table. Fingers smudged with the dyed red frosting, pinching a brownie carved into a coffin shape. It looks garish in the bright light of this set. The kitchen, the only set she refused to bow to the other aesthetics of the house. It unnerves instead in its rich, pastel, Stepford glory. Eddie looks just as out of place here -- even with the spiderweb detailing on the cabinets -- as he did in her kitchen in Hawkins.
“Good evening, Eddie,” she says what she’s supposed to say.
His mouth is full, his answer muffled in rich chocolate she baked herself before shooting.
“Why don’t you tell us about your band? I’m a big fan of your guitarist, Jeff Best.”
Jeff, the person who was supposed to be on the sound stage when she opened the door. The band member she had approved of, after being told by producers how enthusiastically the band had been supporting the show. How they wanted on, desperately.
She asks, “What’s the scariest part of your job?”
And asks, “Isn’t it frightening performing in front of thousands and thousands of people?”
And asks, “Are you ever afraid the stage will collapse?”
And asks, “Pyrotechnics are fires and fireworks that can be done inside, but aren’t you worried that something might go wrong?”
This segment has always been less of an interview and more of an exploration of worst-case scenarios. The things that frighten, the accidents that end up on the news, but rarely ever happen. A way to show the kids who tune in that the world can be scary, but it’s usually not. That fear of the coulds shouldn’t be the thing that keeps them from trying.
But she flings these worst cases at Eddie like knives, like saying they might manifest into coming true.
But each interview always ends the same way.
“What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever overcome?”
Eddie spins a chocolate eyeball around on the white china plate. It blurs with the movement until it’s just a white sphere moving around and around the border of fine, red blood splatter. Is he trying to figure out how to skirt his NDA? Is he inventing some stage diving accident or bar fight? Some story that will make him sound like the worldly rockstar the world knows him as?
Sure, he’s softened his aesthetic for this appearance. The only leather is his jacket. His wide-legged black pants, with the red and black brocade vest, straddle the line between professional and showman.
But he’s still Eddie, dungeon master drama queen to the last.
“The scariest thing I’ve ever done?” he repeats. Incorrectly to that point, done implies it’s scary because of his fuck up, overcome implies it’s the world. They’d workshopped the wording of that final question for days before her first interview.
Eddie continues, because if there’s one thing he’s going to do it’s continue whether she wants it or not. “The scariest thing I’ve ever done is go attempt to make amends with someone that I hurt very badly and hope that she’s good enough to forgive me.”
She’s supposed to ask a follow-up here, but she really doesn’t want to.
“Some of those were in the present tense, Mr. Munson.” She’s borrowing words from Robin now, stealing them from somewhere in her soulmate's brain because all Stevie knows is a blank rage that she hopes isn’t in her eyes.
That’s bad television.
“You’re right. The going has happened, the attempt is ongoing, and the fear is in both.”
A clock’s chime fills the room. Loud, sourceless, she’s taken to thinking of it like a school bell, and that’s better than remembering a grandfather clock and Max’s broken legs. Eddie flinches back, not that big a fan of the show apparently. Midnight ends every episode.
“Time sure flies, doesn’t it, Eddie?” A thump comes from behind them, a spot on the third wall out of the sight of the framing of their primary camera. Robin in position for her favorite job.
Stevie gives her her cue, “Gordon?” Robin, on her mark and her applebox, brings down the thick, fleshy, grey hand with the too-long fingers and the blackened nails onto Eddie’s shoulder. It’s weighted at the front, dislodges Eddie from his seat, and jostles him backward. “Introduce Eddie to the others? I know he’s just dying to stay for a while.”
Hand in place on Eddie’s shoulder, all Robin has to do is pull and he’s stumbling off stage like he’s on a vaudeville hook.
She blinks slowly, wills her blood pressure down. Her heart has been thumping in her ears since she laid eyes on Eddie, and even now that he’s technically off camera, she still can’t let go of her rage.
But there’s a show to finish, and she’s going to do her job. She can ignore Eddie’s big, brown eyes that somehow manage to haunt her even in the dark beyond the camera. She can turn down the camera, face it head-on.
She can. She does. “And don't forget: you're smarter than you think, braver than you feel, and you always have a friend right here. Until next time.”
She’s moving even before she can hear the director call, “Cut.”
“Whose fucking idea was this?”
“Not me,” Robin answers, gleeful at Stevie’s rage. She’s got Eddie still pinned in place with her long arm.
“Listen, Stevie, baby.”
“Nope,” Robin says, popping that P and giving Eddie a shake.
Not that anyone but Stevie would have heard that over the way she yells, “You don’t get to call me that.”
“Eddie, dude, not that it’s not good to see you, but I talked to Jeff,” Dustin comes out from the set with his hands already raised.
“And I saw that, Henderson, but don't fret, I wasn't offended. I figured you wouldn't mind if I remedied the situation myself.”
“Never let it be said you've ever learned a single lesson the easy way, Munson,” Robin says.
“Yes, and I'll be glad to catch up with you about that, Buckley. And with you, Henderson. But right now, I would love a moment with the talent. Stevie?”
It's on her tongue to say no again. To send him packing, the quest failed. Let him turn it into some ballad of spurned love and wretched harpies; she doesn't care.
But she doesn’t. She doesn’t. She says, “Five minutes.” And stalks off toward her dressing room.
He doesn't jingle anymore. That strikes her somewhere in the chest. The sound of his trailing behind her, the same melody as hers, told in a round: thick rubber heels on a concrete floor.
She sits down at her vanity and starts stripping off the thick paint of her on-camera makeup. As she slathers on cold cream, she can see Eddie find a seat on the coffee table. It throws her back to that last summer together, getting caught in her mother’s bathroom by a boy she liked in ways she didn’t know how to say yet.
The more things change.
“Listen, Stevie.” It’s funny how she can still tell when he’s started a sentence, not knowing how he plans to end it.
“You came all this way and you didn’t think about how you wanted to actually apologize? Did you get so lost in the drama of crashing my set that you didn’t think of what would happen when it was over?” She keeps her eyes on him in the mirror as she says it, moving through her routine like usual. With each condemnation, she takes her hand towel and wipes a little bit more of Stevie, Princess of the Dark, away until she’s bare-faced, annoyed, and just Stevie Henderson again.
“No,” he lies. “I mean, maybe. Look, Steph, for what it’s worth.”
She grabs her normal makeup, the lightweight stuff that doesn’t have to look good to the limited eye of the camera or sell a character that she’s only sometimes.
“It’s not worth a lot, Eddie. Let me try to save you some time. We finally gave in and gave the band the time of day, you leapt in ass first without a plan, because I’m Princess of the Dark, Princess Stevie, Lady Stevie of the Night, whatever the fucking branding has decided this week so I’ve got the image now. I’m not some baby freak borrowing wardrobe pieces from her socialite mom and her dyke best friend, I’m the right kind of metal that perpetual bachelor, frontman Eddie Munson can be seen with now. Does that about cover it?”
“No, no, Stevie, I swear.”
She can’t even slam down what’s in her hands. The stupid spongy applicator from her eyeshadow would get lost, and if she breaks another one of the eyeshadow colors, she’ll lose her mind. Setting it down gently does nothing to temper the absolute, white out emotion she’s feeling.
“You swear? You swear. The way you swore nothing would change. The way you swore you’d leave on tour and come back with nothing but stories and homesickness. That was the tour that you called me from Wichita to tell me you weren’t coming home, and you didn’t think it would work out if we tried to stay together. In case you forgot.”
“It’s not-”
“This was after you told me you didn’t want me to come when I offered. That it would be stupid of me to leave my -- easily abandoned -- job at the record store. But why would you want the idiot you’re about to leave playing merch girl as you wandered through the Midwest.”
“Are you finished?”
She’s got brown eyeshadow on one eye, her cheeks are pinked, and it’s not from blush. She’s pretty far from done. “That foot-in-mouth condition ended up being terminal, I guess.”
“Stevie.”
She can’t storm out if her eyes aren’t done. A half-done face is one thing, but it’s at least got to be even.
“Stevie, you’re getting mentioned in the same sentences as Elvira, R.L. Stine. You’re Sesame Street if the face was the Count and not Elmo. That’s you, that’s all you. It’s something you created from the ground up with nothing but your charm and vision, and yeah, stunning good looks and a little bit of black mailing the United States government.
“If you had come with us back then, you know what you’d be? My muse, sure. You’d be the merch girl that people whisper about, and wonder how many of the band members she’s sleeping with to get to play groupie. They’d find out things about you, and if you were lucky, they’d just make your life miserable.”
She can’t believe this. “Are you really trying to pull some ‘I left you to keep you safe,’ that is the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Her face is done, she could leave. She’s given him more than the five minutes she promised.
But then Eddie’s standing. No, he’s collapsing, off the table to her feet. Hands clutched in her skirt, looking up at her from the floor. “You’re right, it wasn’t about you. It was about me being the same coward I‘ve always been. You know what I’m most afraid of, Steph? That one day you would wake up in our rank ass tour bus and you would resent me for trapping you and all of your potential.”
The vanity counter bites into the meat of her hands. “It took you six years to come here and say that.”
“Yeah, yeah, it did. And it was too long and it wasn't long enough. I would wait forever, Steph. It’s about who you are, not what you’ve become.”
“You’re contradicting yourself, Teddy.” He’s trapped her here, kneeling on her skirt the way he is. “Either you left so I could fill my full potential, which is pretty fucking bold to assume that everyone had that itch to leave Hawkins the way you did and that I wouldn’t have been just fine waiting tables or rewinding video tapes for the rest of my life. But it’s that or you love me no matter what, and it wouldn’t matter if I hung up the witch's broom.”
She’s feeling generous, and she likes how big and wide his cow eyes get when he’s desperate. It reminds her of different times. Eddie’s hand pulls hers off the vanity, and she lets him keep it. Let him pull it close to his chest. He’s probably imagining he’s some knight pledging some oath, and fuck even imaginging what he’s thinking endears her just a little bit more to him.
Letting him in was always going to be a mistake.
She’s never held a grudge as well as Robin.
“There isn’t anything you could do that would make me want you less.”
Still, in the last six years, she’s learned that even though she loves too hard and too long, sometimes it’s more important that she protect her heart. Like her head, it can’t take too many more beatings.
“You want a burger. You want a new record. You want a quick fuck with someone who knows what they’re doing. Wants are quick and fleeting, and sometimes they aren’t even that good. I can’t be a want, Eddie.”
He clutches her hand tighter. He drops his hold on her skirt so his other hand can grab her at the elbow instead. “Stevie, I need you. And if you send me packing, I’m still gonna need you. You’re it. You’re just- you’re it.”
“And if I didn’t follow you on tour, like some love-sick groupie? If I stayed here with the show, you couldn’t see me for weeks and months. You’d still need me?”
“Like air. I’ll call, I’ll write, I’ll come in and compose. I can be your first recurring guest or handle a puppet. Anything at your order.”
She can feel herself caving. Like a sink hole in her chest, the ground giving way to nothing but a yawning starvation. It’s been years, and she’s sunk all of her love and her care and the desperate need she has always had to be seen into this show. It was good, but there has always been so much of her to give.
So she spits back the worst thing he ever said to her.
“And I’m not just some stand-in for Chrissy Cunningham.”
She expects him to drop her arm. To scurry away like some frightened mouse now that the claws of the cat have dropped in front of it. To remember that before the tits and the smirky face she patterned off of Elvira, she was still always a mean girl.
The quiet collapse of Eddie’s face is less satisfying than the rage, the sadness in his eyes more like a kicked dog than an international rockstar.
“I shouldn’t have said that.” He says.
She could echo it, but hers needed to be said.
“If I thought you hated me, it was easier to leave. I could make you just one more thing I fucked up. I don’t see her when I look at you.”
She scoffs, and he pulls her closer.
“I don’t, Steph, I don’t. You’re not some damsel I couldn’t save. You’re the knight who rescued me. Let me make my oath, let me prove myself.”
“I want a new theme song. Something catchy, not metal. And you’re going to come on and do a special segment on the show about dealing with scary things, in terrible corpse makeup. Stop smiling, it’s not going to be fun.”
“I’m sure you’ll make it wretched.”
“I’m going to make you confront all the stupid shit you’re scared of and if you don’t act scared enough I’m going to bring in the rest of the band and tell them you’re the reason this is happening to them.”
“Gareth hates spiders, and Freak is scared of clowns.”
“And I want Jeff on the show. I had to cut out half of our interview questions about the things he’s had to face being black in the scene because you think you’re charming.”
He has the nerve to stand up, stepping on her skirt before he’s shoving his way into her space on the bench seat of her vanity. His hands are warm, fingers long and familiar as they curl around the curves she’s developed since they last saw each other.
“Whatever you want forever, Steph.” He whispers it into the side of her neck like he thinks he’s Gomez Addams, and she’s too weak to not be delighted.
“In that case, you can also explain all of this to Robin.”
“And when she kills me for wronging you?”
She grabs his chin between her fingers, lets her coffin-shaped nails dig into the stubbly skin until she can see the bite of pink crescent moons. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring you back. Everyone knows Miss Stevie is a witch.”
#steddie#stevie harrington#stevie week#stevie week 2025#stevieweek#stevieweek2025#stevieweek25#trans steve harrington#transfem steve harrington#steve henderson#steddie fic#steve x eddie#horror and princess as prompts together absolutely inspired#i had several ideas but stevie as a christine mcconnell patterned childrens tv host is the one that caught me the most#shes beautiful and glamorous and deadly and an absolute aesthetic dream#if i were a better artist i would draw up the puppets#all demos cause a demogorgon called gordon was funny to me and me only#also personal hc for my fic the puppet master who makes their stuff interned at the jim henson creature factory
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2024 reads / storygraph
Asunder
slow-paced high fantasy
a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs
when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow
along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both
dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport
#asunder#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#okay SUPER fascinating worldbuilding with some very visceral creatures and biological constructs and interesting magic systems.#many things I like. A great cast of characters. Honestly I could read tons more stories set in this world.#it’s very slow building and meandering narratively; focusing on the complex journey of the main character#didn’t love the audio narration tbh - it felt like some lines are read with the wrong emphasis or tone? but I got used to it after a while#So this has one of my absolute favourite tropes (bodysharing.) unfortunately it turns it into a romance which is. well.#it just doesn’t hit the same if you make it romantic!! so that kinda made it change traintracks from being on a direct line to#potentially 5 stars to a whole different station where i do not live. lol.#I SUPPOSE it’s a well developed relationship and I’d prefer romances more like that than instalove I guess.#I did love their dynamic; too; but suddenly realising it was romantic threw me for a loop. I had put him in the annoying dad category.#I do also feel like we didn’t get quite enough of him as an individual person and characterisation - which obviously makes sense to an#extent; but I felt like I only got to see more of him in the brief time around his father.#Also he was surprisingly chill and nice to her immediately considering he was essentially her hostage???#Anyway I did enjoy a lot of it; it just suffers the unfortunate tragedy of#[literally my favourite thing made for me] [turns that thing into literally my least favourite thing i hate]#but also -random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (platonic/familial vibe) - yeah!#random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (romantic) ehhhh…idk.....#(to me personally. i'm sure people enjoy that. whatever)
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just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.
just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my#brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny#apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each#other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen#literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for#lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either#entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted#broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah#dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be#interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and#frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]
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i dont usually post random snippets like this but everyone PLS listen to chii she is adorable 🥺🐟
#my video lol#openutau#choubi chii#gekiyaku#kazehiki#cause they're here too. IG. 🙄#i might delete this later idk. i do this a lot with my sillies i just listen to them sing random files i have saved lol 😭#and yes this is the same ust i used for genbu's conchita cover lmao. funny joke about goldfish being opportunistic feeders idk#i had downloaded chii months earlier but only just properly installed her recently lmao. AND UEEE FISH GIRL 🥺🐟#i literally never see anyone talk abt her and like fair sure cause kuzutokaze's other utaus are more famous and she only came out in 2020#i might be biased bc i love aquatic creature theme but SHES CUTEE cmon pls i wish more people noticed her...#i do wanna do stuff w/ her at some point but problem is i have no ideas lmao :') i need to keep testing#also this is what some stuff sounds like with absolutely 0 mixing or proper rendering stuff (in this case the shitty default resampler LOL)#not good tbh. but good enough to give me serotonin when i am depresseddd. sing for me little goobers#the default resampler doesnt do her complete justice im sure and one day maybe ill do smthn better w/ her (to the best of my ability)
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Look!!!! At my favorite new plushie!!!!! I love it with all my heart oh my gosh!!!!
#I asked my mom for it for christmas and I was so excited#and then I saw it sold out and I told my mom I was happy she already got it and she said she actually didn't yet#and I got so heckin sad#cause they were only on the pokemon website and they're a holiday specific one for this year only probably#and I was so sad#and then!!!#it showed up!!!#apparently mom got it and completely forgot!!!#so yeah!!!!#gosh I love it so much!!!!#their scarf has little tassles and the hat has star shaped pokemon and their other ear is hidden in the hat and the sweater actually feels#like a sweater and so does the trim of the hat and the scarf has a wooloo brand oatch sewn on and the whole plush is so soft#and also their other ear is actually under the hat at weird angle so it can fit which a small creature would absolutely do to wear a cozy h#*hat#but yeah!!#I'm so happy :D#it's got so much thought and care in it and I love it#it's my favorite present this year :)#pikachu#pokemon#plushie
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Tamaas (eventually Tamara)
Addressed as: Madam* (she/her)
Age: 23
Height: 5’0”
Occupation:
Main Skills: Shadowy, Watchful
Prominent Quirks: Melancholy
Closest to: The Urchins
*it's a form of address that feels strange compared to its Varchaasi equivalent, but she no longer has any claim to that title.
Backstory below the cut:
She never questioned her life, much like she never questioned her love for Mihir and her native Varchas. One rarely has to when all is well and life is easy.
She doesn’t understand why her brother did not share this contentedness. Fraternal twins, they were ever-close, sharing everything, but his interest in the Jewel-Turbaned Youth and his fanciful club was something that she simply could not get her mind around. The rest of the family paid it no mind—they’re harmless anyway. Let him have his fun.
She doesn’t know what it was that stopped her from retiring to bed that one fateful evening, a nagging in the back of her head that something was off. When she stepped back out into the yellow evening lamplight, a familiar shape slipping down the streets confirmed her intuition. Her brother made it as far as the Mirrored Gate before she clamped her hand around his wrist. Was he mirror-mad? What could he possibly be thinking? Who would want to leave the light, and to set sail on a steamer with a Tamaas captain he’d only met that morning? She’d argued with him, begging him to see sense, until they were both shouting. Deep in their quarrel, she’d barely noticed the shape in the mirror pressed up against his back until it was too late. It struck and he screamed, jerking to the side. Hand still latched around his arm, she slipped in turn, down the slope beyond the gate and both of their lives ended in an instant.
She’d later piece together what had happened from The Sympathetic Captain, most of her memories a blur, and Mihir knows, she’d had enough time on that ship to play her retelling back in her head in endless combinations. Before her brother had even met the ground, before his head had hit stone and his heart had stopped beating, he was Tamaas. As was she, not a fraction of a second later. The Captain had heard the commotion and was not far from the bottom of the cliff. She had insisted that the Captain take them both, that no one in the city would help them anymore. She had to get him to the next port where he could recover.
How his body had disappeared a day later, on a ship miles from the coast, was not one the Captain could answer, no matter how much she raged, how many objects in the cabin she smashed in her fugue. The Captain could only offer a sympathetic ear and a cup of tea.
When the ship finally docked in London she disappeared into the darkness, too ashamed of her grief to say goodbye. Her life was over, but somehow she would have to keep living, Tamaas or otherwise.
#my art#anyway new blorbo just dropped#tamara#also very normal about the sun#but differently#i haven't gotten there yet but she's going to meet ockham very soon#and are about to have a great time first overcoming the language barrier#and then the everything else#she initially thought ockham was mirror-mad#but as soon as they could understand each other well enough to learn hishertheir actual deal you bet she nearly had an aneurysm#coming from a culture where you fear what lurks in the Is-Not#only to become closest to a creature of the Is-Not#specifically courting the creatures she fears the most#ockham was also the one to ask her name and when she said she was simply tamaas#ockham said absolutely not try again and she eventually landed on tamara#initially it was a reminder of what she lost#but eventually simply was her name#there are also a lot of my notes on what i imagine varchaasi fashion looks like in that second image#based on a lot of older SE Asian clothing specifically cambodian#but with the added touch of living in perpetual summer heat and humidity#and a culture that does not do shadows#and doesn't have to deal with UV radiation#but if anyone wants to join me on the non-London fashion train#please talk to me i love this kind of worldbuilding
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<3
#d/m quote of all time!!!!!!!#if my pinned wasn't the five watch party & i'd pin this.#silhouetted; limbs interwoven; fighting or dancing.#is it one creature or two? or two trying to become one?#who won? what does winning mean to them? does it matter?#is there such a thing as winning when the goal is this moment of struggle?#and i absolutely LOVE that this is all we see.#like to be clear this & the speaking gallifreyan quote are the only times we see the doctor & the master interact in this book.#lechasseur sees the tiniest glimpse. doesn't know how it started or how it works out.#doesn't know the long history or the long future between them.#and it's a perfect perfect way to have d/m in a story imo.#doctor x master#dw#(from 'the cabinet of light')
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,
#i think that#whenever i die my only wish is for even just one person to look over all the art in my neocities site#and i hope that whoever ends up looking at all of that feels some sort of happiness from it#i've been logging my art there for almost a year now i just realised#i started on the third of may last year#i think having so much art all easy to find in one place is good for me#because sometimes i think 'wow i never draw everything and i am absolutely useless!'#whenever i think that i always start looking through either a) all the art logged on my site#or b) some of my sketchbooks#and then i realise .. i have done things before#and maybe quite a lot of it sucks. but i did make them#and they are mine#i'm so excited for school to end for the year. then it'll be just like last summer and i'll have lots of time to draw more shit#<3 i love drawing .. sorr y i'm sorry i just#really like drawing weird cat creatures
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just watched this nearly 5 hour long video tour of anime backgrounds. i feel cleansed and inspired to practice drawing backgrounds. will i? surely Someday ,
#one for the Long Video lovers out there#no discourse. only appreciating art for hours#slightly related but i have added slimes to my Autism Repertoire. which was great for vibing with this video#my table right now is like: fidgets. slimes. jigsaw puzzles. emergency snacks#autism creature den#we have Textures here#anyway i find it a little strange that makoto shinkais movies weren't mentioned as much in the video as i expected#but we All Know his movies have absolutely banger backgrounds. so.
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Frog! Most likely common water frogs (Pelophylax kl. esculentus)
#they’re also known as green frogs (for… well. obvious reasons. they are very green. not much greener than some other frogs though…)#or edible frogs. because. well. people like eating their legs! still not sure why it’s only the legs. probably not a lot of meat on the rest#of their little bodies…. ANYWAY! bonus points for anyone who noticed that these guys have a three part name rather than a two part name as#most scientific names are! that’s because these guys are a little something named a klepton! which means they need input from another#(usually closely related) species to complete its reproductive cycle!#these ones specifically are fertile hybrids of pool frogs and marsh frogs which is SO COOL for so many reasons#but I’m already. rambling quite a bit here. which while it is the point of having a blog is also making my thumbs Ache. so ! enough of that#for now. I will absolutely talk more if prompted#Featured Creatures#Frogs#Pelophylax kl. esculentus
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ohhh im so peace and love and whimsical right now actually i have so much faith in the world an d its so good. need to note down that there are, apparemntly, more ways to feel absolute bliss and joy like this that do not involve accidentally becoming anemic
#thes econd way is going to concerts hi im back from one. it was one of my fav bands eever . i gota guitar pick too it has a cat on the back#bouncing up adn down im gonna pass out so hard oh my go d . Good dgodd im so tired holy . im gonna be sore asf tomorrow actually#got so overwhelmed during it that the only noise i made was a husky squeak when they started playing new invention bc i forgot how to make#any noise at all lmao. possibly the first time thats happened to me ever that WASNT caused by anxiety. it was so swag tho#so tired i could turn into a primordial creature like actually. worm across the ground even. absolutely no energy left whatsoevr
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@beatingheart-bride
June subtly glanced Elizabeth's way when she overheard her and Emily's conversation, taking a sip from her own sparkling apple cider as she mulled over these remarks quietly. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions, however (nor give voice to these conclusions either), and settled for setting aside her glass and contentedly leaning her head against her husband's shoulder as Dorian happily regaled the group with stories from his and Randall's youth.
"...I admit, the violin was never my preferred musical instrument," Dorian was saying with an impish grin. "I was good at it, but I just never thought I was destined to become a legendary violin player like my mother expected, and so I was always trying to find a way out of my lessons, and our sprawling garden made for an excellent place to hide. Admittedly, Beau knew it was where I'd go first, since Randall and his mother would be out there, but he'd seldom be too hard on me about it. He knew I didn't like the violin very much, and that I'd rather be outside with my best friend."
"Contributing to the delinquency of one of your own students, Mr. Ghast?" August chuckled as Beau came around to refill both Dorian and August's glasses (the Burke patriarch having decided to be daring enough to have a glass of wine with dinner). Smiling as slyly as the young master, Beau replied, "Only here and there-I knew what Mr. and Mrs. Gracey expected of their son, and so I tried to keep him in the classroom as much as I could, learning the violin, French, cursive, all lessons they wanted me to teach him...but what good was having a young friend on the estate if they couldn't play together?"
"A very good point," August admitted-all work and no play never did a young mind any good, he felt, and so he could get behind Beau allowing his young charge to run free and enjoy his childhood, especially with his grandson. It had to have been a pleasant change of pace for the both of them, given the lives they both led.
"And besides, Dorian didn't need my help in his delinquency," Beau chuckled. "Even before he met Randall, he was always very clever at sneaking out when I had my back turned and taking off down the hall to find some sweets and hole up somewhere I couldn't find him. Between the two of them, Dorian was easily the brains of the operation."
"Guilty as charged!" Dorian grinned, raising his hand as he added, "If anything, Randall did his best to keep us out of trouble, while I was the one trying to make trouble in the first place!"
#((oh absolutely! the only reason i know about a lot of movies like 'saw'; 'final destination'; 'smile'; 'terrifier'; 'the firefly trilogy'))#((*is* because of the kill count! i know it's not meant to replace the experience of watching a film))#((and don't get me wrong; the kill count has actually helped me broaden my horror horizons and i've watched movies))#((*because* i saw them on the kill count! but some movies i really do need that james (and zoran!) filter!))#((i kinda count it as watching the movie; i know i'm not getting every minute little detail you'd get))#((through a full runtime; but i feel like i'm still getting a lot of mileage out of it!))#((and honestly; james really is living the dream! to get paid to talk about horror movies all day? sign me up!))#((i would *love* to be a guest kill count host for a day honestly; if i could cover 'creature from the black lagoon'))#((which is my all-time favorite horror movie; and talk about it for x amount of time while also dunking on its sequels))#((that'd be pretty damn awesome!))#((and it's true; james isn't quite the expected host for that sort of show is he?))#((and yet his sense of humor; great running gags; and fascinating trivia really draws you in!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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