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brainworms-all-night-long · 2 months ago

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yk how fanfic authors lament having to write an entire fic just for the sake of a single scene? heh. I am above that *smug emoji* (<- is actually just incapable of making a coherent long winded time sequential narrative) (this scene is meant to be in The Same But different fic)

[4,478 words]

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"Well, not sure how this is gonna sound but, you're right." Suddenly, his overly crowded internal monologue was dead silent, and Sonic was left grasping at syllables," I, I don't really know you. Or anyone else in the Shatterverse, at least definitely not as much as everyone in Green Hills. They've been my friends for years, since I was a kid, and, and especially Tails you know. He's my little brother." A natural smile made its way across his muzzle as he said that, before it disappeared, "So I guess loosing them, especially because of my own hothead mistake, I, well, it was a tough pill to swallow."

Eventually, it became slightly less difficult to feel his voice, but the fear of loosing that flow left him with no filter or space to second guess what he was actually saying.

"So I just didn't. And I clung to the fact you just, looked and acted similar enough. And than you, and than I realized how stupid I was for that. And I really wish we just had a moment to just, talk before it was too late and instead of, all that happening."

Despite averting his eyes, he didn't miss the well deserved glare sharpening Nine's previously impassive face.

"I'm sorry." was the last thing to fall out of his mouth as no new justification came up clearly in his head. He could all but hope the apology sounded as genuine as he felt it.

"Well at least you're finally honest." Nine sighed and pressed his lips into a thin line. Both of them were plunged into an uncomfortable stretch of silence afterwards. It was rudely underscored by the churning sea, which couldn't care less about either of them and their past mistakes.

Sonic gave himself that moment sort through his unintelligible mess of thoughts and watched the few visible stars reflect off of the distorted, ever-moving mirror the water.

For a second he could swear he saw the Grim's endless sky in it.

"But well, now we have the time to talk." He cut through the almost unbearable tension finally, hoping that any good will Nine might’ve still had towards him wasn’t all lost in an instant, "Now that we're not constantly on a run, fighting against the clock or each other, we can get to know each other. Properly."

Nine's scowl just turned to an uncertain grimace and he fully turned away, face digging into his knees and giving no further response.

But it didn't look like he was done with the conversation, maybe just thinking? Sonic wasn't sure, there were a lot of little habits Nine has that the hedgehog has yet to pick up on. And a lot more that he needs to learn to interpret differently from what he's used to seeing in, another certain fox.

Trying to get back on track, Sonic shook his head and realized just how unbearably itchy his legs have gotten after the minutes just sitting here, and what was supposed to be a relaxing late night outing with a buddy of his, turned into an unnecessarily heavy feelings-talk.

Ugh.

He wanted to just get up and dash away, run off this uneasy feeling sticking to him worse than the sand itself, but he knew he that would only not work, because he already tried that, multiple times this week, but what was worse, he'd be throwing any genuine chance at a proper reconciliation out into the sea.

Nine was letting himself be a subject of this talk too, and he wasn’t having much better time with it either. Either of them could get up and leave at any point, but the unresolved tension must've been keeping both of them glued to the ground and the more they struggle against it, the worse the weight will get, almost like quicksand.

So he took a deep breath and sifted a few fist-fulls of sand through his fingers in an attempt to ground himself in a different manner than running away.

"Because well... I don't think you knew me at all either."

This earned an ear-flick from the other.

"You said that you did, but, I don't think so. I guess, both of us misunderstood each other on a fundamental level since the beginning."

All of Nine's tails stirred across the sand in an eerie unison, and in that moment Sonic realized just how tense all of his muscles were, on the verge of fight or flight.

Just keep talking. That usually works.

"I am, I'm really sorry about the Grim, you know. I wish I realized just how much it meant to you before it was too late." He said as gently as his voice allowed him to, "I guess I didn't get what you saw about it because well, on some level I just knew I wouldn't be happy in there. I guess our ideas of home were so far apart I just, I could never imagine living there long-term. Sorry bud." Sonic hesitated as Nine's ears pinned back slightly, "I knew you had plans for it, and I would love to see what you did with the place if given the chance, but it's just, not for me."

This caused a proper stir in Nine's frame as he finally lifted his head back up to hiss a response.

"I could've made the Grim into whatever you wanted. I could've made it into Green Hills and more. Everything you could've imagined I would've made it. We wouldn't have even been constrained by what was physically possible." Venom was steadily seeping into his tone, and he let out a dry scoff, "But you didn't even consider it. Too preoccupied with your 'friends' and getting back what was lost, you refused to give me a chance. And now the Grim is gone for good because of it."

The news of Grim supposedly no longer existing threw a small wrench into Sonic’s thesis and opened up a couple questions, but he shelved them for later.

"I know bud, I know. But, that just, it wouldn't be the same. And I am giving you a chance, so many in fact, and I'll keep doing it whether you like it or not. I know all that happened was just a gross misunderstanding of which the bigger half is on me and I know apologies won’t get back what was lost, but I do just want to make it all right."

The fox let out an angry huff, squared his shoulders and pulled his legs closer, but otherwise remained silent.

A dead end.

"I, well, ok- how about this," Sonic stammered, after a sizable wave crashing down in the distance knocked over his train of thought. Or maybe it was the impenetrable wall Nine's attitude was, but he's used to dealing with a stubborn two tailed fox.

Except this one didn't get this stubbornness after him. Actually, maybe he should stop equating the two, that would be a good start.

Unfortunately there’s nothing more he'd like right now than to crush Nine in a hug not too dissimilar he would give to Tails in the past a few times, one that gave them the feeling of everything being alright whenever either of them needed it.

Unfortunate that Nine didn't like hugs.

Bingo.

The hedgehog almost snapped his fingers in an eureka as he a new argument began to fall into a sentence.

"You don't like people." He stated, a plain fact that was tested time and time again.

"Took you long enough." Nine grumbled but the hedgehog didn't dedicate much brain space for it.

"But I do. I like meeting new people and going to new places and trying the food and listening to local music and all that. All of which, would just be impossible within the Grim." Sonic moved his hands around wildly as he recounted fragments of his past adventures across the globe, reminding himself to one day take Nine along to see all of his favorite places. The day being once all of this is sorted out.

"I'm not doubting your creativity or willingness to try bud, I never would. It's just that, it's different when it's purposefully designed instead of just, naturally occurring, I guess? And while the Grim is no doubt vast, I dunno, I still think it wouldn't feel right, no matter how good the chilli-dogs would taste like."

Nine remained silent, with the only movement being the chilly night breeze ruffling through his fur.

"If I had to stay there, I'd probably go a bit insane in there while you would be unhappy that I'm unhappy, is what I'm saying."

And for the agonizing minute and a half of silence that followed, Sonic just hoped, nearly prayed, that Nine would be willing to understand. That he would at least try to see it from his perspective, despite having his own be constantly looked over.

Because Sonic is someone who cannot sit in one place for longer than five minutes, silence feels worse than physical torture and would simply never stop missing his friends, while Nine was the almost exact opposite .

"What you're saying is that it wouldn't feel real."

The monotony in Nine's voice helped nothing but add sharpness to the icicle running down Sonic's spine in that instant.

"Wait no no, Nine that's not–"

He tried to get out at least something to not repeat his previous mistake because for a second he was back in the cave with any and all hope crushed and compressed right through his ribs, with Nine glaring down at him.

Except once again, the fox beat him to it, with a voice drenched in emotion.

"I don't think you'll ever understand– You have no idea, how much you've hurt me."

And despite the momentary terror he felt, Sonic found himself solemnly agreeing on that fact, because he really didn't know until it was too late. For the fastest thing alive, he sure has the habit of being slow with that.

"Never before I considered another person in my life, because I just couldn't. But for some reason I gave you a chance, and I lost... everything because of it." That unidentified yet distinctly heavy emotion soon turned out to be anger, or disdain and than a mix of both. "Even something I didn't know I needed or even had."

Nine tilted his body just enough so sonic could see his muzzle move, with his breathing growing audible.

"It felt like you ripped out s-something out of me, the same useless thing you planted into me in the first place b-because–" the ferocity he started with faded with every word until Nine chocked on a sob.

"Because you just had to waltz into my life and pretend to care!"

Sonic's hand was halfway through the air to the fox's shoulders when they suddenly stood much higher and in a few seconds Nine towered over him, shining, ice-cold eyes glaring down at him.

"You gave me, so much hope just to rip away. You filled my head with fantasies that never even belonged to me and refused to see me for what– for who I really am. You didn't ever think, you just did and in the end you were the one that got everything you wanted! As if none of what happened even happened and I was left with nothing!" Nine all but actually snarled those last words, with lips pulled back and eyes fixated in a glare, yet Sonic had the impression it was to try and push back the tears threatening to spill.

Once that failed, Nine's entire facade crumpled.

Any threat fell away as he physically shrunk and continued with the most dejected tone.

"And I felt like everything I did was completely pointless. From trying to just s-survive for so long, to, t-to..."

The fox halted as he took deep calming breaths, trying to steady his voice.

"Because I could've just died in the Void and no one would've known. No one would've cared. And I know I brought that on mys-self." He went to hug himself, but for one reason or another decided against it and just ended up placing his hands on his hips, staring daggers at the ground, "It's what I always wanted, to be left alone forever, but… because of you, I just couldn’t handle it again, for some reason."

Sonic eventually scrambled to his feet — the dry sand not making it easy — double guessing if he interpreted Nine's words correctly on the way, and than felt a cold knife twist his gut when realizing that was the only way he could've understood them.

Bewildered he reached out and gently took hold of the fox's slumped shoulders, and when he didn't feel any struggle gains the hold from the other, he gave them a light squeeze.

"B-but you're right. I don't know you." Nine whispered in a grave tone, "I guess, I-I don't even know where my head was back then. I never had anyone call me a friend, much less care about me, and in the way you do."

He could feel Nine's whole frame shaking under his hands and for the second time since he met the fox, Sonic's mouth felt supper-glued together. For that moment he could all but watch the other pitifully unravel in front of him.

"I should've lis-listened to you. I brushed off any mention of your home and friends because I was just so sh-sure what I had planned in the Grim wold make them obsolete to you, but that was s-stupid. I know that now. You were… everything to me, but I was nothing compared to them." Nine let his head hang low, while the few tears that managed to fully escape clumped the sand at their feet. "I never had to care about anyone else, I didn't know- I still don't know- I know I am supposed to know b-but–"

"Hey, none of that." Sonic’s resolute tone seemed to snap some focus back into the other as some structure returned to his hunched over position and he looked up at with such a fragile look in his eyes.

"You're not useless, obsolete, redundant or any of those big, smart-sounding but ultimately demeaning words you keep throwing around."

At this the fox blinked in surprise, as if for the first time actually hearing the words, understanding their meaning and realizing just how outlandish they sounded. Or just being surprised someone told off that mean voice in his head for the first time.

"I might be an air head, but a friend talking down to themselves never goes above it. Or I guess it does since my ears are up there, point is-" that his attempt at deflecting some seriousness from the conversation worked as Nine gave him a deadpan look, which Sonic returned with a lazy smirk that stretched into a gentle smile.

"You are my friend, just as any of them. You’re not lesser or better or have to prove anything." He leaned just a little lower, to be closer at eye level with the fox, somehow resisting the urge to wipe his tears. Something told him that would be a bit too much, "And you know, if it was any more than just a couple hours before we fixed the Prism and you showing up, I'm sure I would've been missing you like crazy."

The other, unfortunately, wasn’t buying any of it and he gave a sharp shrug, almost as if to throw his hands away, "You'd still have your other friends."

"What's wrong with having one more? There's no such thing as a 'maximum amount' of friends you can have, and you have no reason to be expelled from that label."

Nine looked at him with a poignant look and whispered.

"I tried to kill you."

As if that was some kind of a deal breaker.

"And you think you're the first one? Get in lineee bud." Sonic waved a dismissive hand with a devil-may-care grin on his face.

Blinking away temporary surprise, the fox just shook is head. "I'm sure your friends wouldn't be really thrilled if they found out."

"Then it must be a shocker to hear at least half of them had a death wish against me at one point." Sonic said it as nonchalantly as stating its raining on a rainy day, yet it indeed came as a shocker to the fox before him. Sonic forgets most people don’t turn around their rivals into life lasting friends.

Nine just looked at him from below his brows and Sonic couldn't help but snicker.

"You think they really hadn't each tried to kill me at least once? C'mon, ask Knuckles literally any day and I’m sure he’d love to tell ya all about it. Or Shadow! You know Shadow right? Really happy-go-lucky guy? He like constantly has a fist in my face with murderous intent."

Nine actually seemed to consider that, before leveling him with a skeptical look as if to ask 'You sure this is like, normal?'

For Sonic it was anyway, he never really held a grudge, and if he did, he would've missed out on literally half of the good things in his life, so he’s not about to start reconsidering that.

That brought him back to being younger, the memory is fuzzy and it is hard to believe now that he used to be all on his own back than, but while he never asked for permission nor felt lonely, that was a period of time where he hasn’t figured out a way of fitting other people into his life either.

And he couldn’t keep ignoring the constant, both metaphorical and physical distancing Nine keeps from "his" friends, from "them."

Sonic figured this loner fox could use a just a little more pushing out of his shell.

"But, why not make them your friends too?"

Nine gave him the same look of quiet realization again, except this time his mouth slightly parted, as if he were to go and argue for his case, but nothing came of it.

"Ya know, since we are kinda starting from scratch here, new foundations to our friendship and that, I think it would be a fair to give them a chance too bud. Right after me, you're like the second coolest guy they have ever met and with like two exceptions, every single person here is just dying to get to know you better. But nooo, you just keep hiding in your room being mysterious and broody and stuff."

Nine’s brow furrowed, in what Sonic was now confident to indeed be his concentrated thinking face. He really just looked angry whenever he did that.

"Ignoring your pretentious ego, what exactly is so interesting about me?" The question ended on a high end, almost uncertain that Sonic would give it an answer to begin with, fortunately for him this was the easiest one so far.

"You're from a whole different dimension with the best knowledge on that whole damn thing, wear pants for some reason, and have seven mechanical death needles stapled to your butt."

Despite Sonic’s best attempts at marrying humor with fact, Nine stood unimpressed with his word choice and the answer as a whole and sighed.

"I don't know... I just, I feel like I will never really fit in no matter how good you make it sound. I am nothing like you guys." He didn't even sound sad, just fully resigned to that notion, and Sonic couldn't help but wilt a little himself.

"I'm not anywhere near as optimistic, caring or bright eyed as any of you. I don't know how to be around people, or even talk to them beyond necessary. I can barely walk for two minutes without my legs giving out and I can't stand the sun whatsoever, and the list could go on and on."

Nine almost effortlessly rattled off, pointing out his flaws like the back of the hand, yet they were things Sonic either wasn’t bothered by in the first place, didn’t see as a problem, or was willing to help out with whenever it would be necessary.

"I guess I really don't belong anywhere. And definitely not here."

And he looked, so so small, so beyond dejected and hurt, like he was just about to fully crumble, and Sonic wanted to do so alongside him.

Because, while he did just swore off comparing Nine to Tails ever again, this felt so eerily familiar.

Ghost of their past, a shy little kit, too afraid of fast movement, of being left alone, of being seen, found out, hurt and abandoned. Skittish blue eyes and a little pout, saying there’s no real place for him, cryptically and than outright asking when will Sonic have enough, leave him at someone’s doorstep, run away and never come back.

It teared him up inside, because this is the same exact kit, with the same exact heavy questions and fears in his heart, only forced to have lived with it all for so much longer. Sonic wasn’t there for him when he should’ve been. No one was there to tell off all that self doubting nonsense and keep him safe when he was scared.

Tails wrestles with some of his past to this day even if in rarer instances, despite whatever caused it being years left behind with Sonic, their friends and a safe home surrounding him.

A part of him wished he got to break the prism sooner. This wasn't fair.

Sonic opened his mouth without any plan on what to say, when that two minute mark Nine just mentioned had passed and he suddenly collapsed into Sonic, holding on with a very weak hug.

At least that’s what the hedgehog interpreted it as, since the other wasn’t really pulling away once he regained footing, nor did his hold lessen. Sonic dared to say that was as much as he could squeeze him, which was… worrisome. A single hug could not fix everything Nine thought was wrong with him, no matter how much the hedgehog wished it could and would, but there was no question about giving that much needed comfort in a pinch.

The sudden nature of the hug was similar to the one back at the Grim, but unlike then, he was very much fully corporeal, without any buzzing pain and a ticking clock above his head, allowing them to stand unmoving like this just a few seconds longer.

. .

"Sorry for snapping earlier."

Nine slowly peeled away, even if it felt like he didn't really want to and quickly wiped at his now mostly dried tears.

Sonic felt an insurmountable weight drop from his shoulders that had been there for weeks on end. Even if everything still didn't feel quite right.

"Hm, it's ok, I figured you were more sad than angry anyway. You did spook me a little bit though not gonna lie." He let out an airless chuckle, but Nine didn't move a muscle, still lost with his thoughts somewhere else.

Sonic knew he had no real grasp on either of the fox’s full backstories. It was obvious none of it was pretty or kind, but Tails barely shared any of it . Whether because he forgot, or simply didn't want to didn't really matter. There were numerous worrisome signs and habits one could infer from, but Sonic was just fine with knowing context to all of them, nor did he want to poke his nose into what clearly weren't happy memories.

The thought of Nine suffering through all of that for years, with no real home or shoulder to lean and rely on when things got tough was a horrible one, and Sonic wasn't about to let it keep happening any longer.

Well, It was always better late than never. Starting now, from the foundation up, Nine will get to have his own home, just not in the same manner as Tails.

"Hey." The hedgehog softly called his attention again, and Nine's defeated eyes flicked up just a bit, "I promise you, there is a place for you. The world is big, and has to have somewhere that will eventually feel like home to you. But first, please let me try to make it here. You wanted to make one for me from complete scratch and I would like to repay that."

It is fully possible a stray cloud just finally passed over the moon, or it could be that some genuine shine returned to Nine’s eyes.

"But home is not really a place or a palm tree, but the people and memories made around it. And yes, yes, I know how much you don't like people, we've gone over that, but just this once you have to give it a chance."

Nine pulled his mouth in a grimace but didn't rebut. It seemed more like just his dedication to the loner bit.

"I promise you, not everyone is as all over the place as me and sometimes, the hurt is worth the friendship, if that’s what’s putting you off. I burned you and I am so, so sorry, but you can't lock yourself up for the rest of time and expect to feel happy, 's just not how it works."

After all this, Sonic could confidently say, the fox listened to every word he said, but whether he will actually take them to heart was up in the air.

That angry thinking face returned, this time aimed at a boulder not too far away from them. He glared at it as if it was the source of all of his misery, and Sonic couldn't help but snort. Thankfully Nine either ignored, or didn't hear it.

"Fine. I still don't believe you though."

An unabashed toothy grin spread across Sonic's face and he could just about run two whole laps around the planet in that second.

"Most people refuse to accept indisputable truth that challenges their core principles indeed." He gave an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders and sprawled his hands on his sides.

Nine rolled his eyes again and purposefully bummed into arm while walking past, further from the shore.

Turning to follow, Sonic realized he hadn't felt this light in years. The only trace of any previous turmoil were just the erratic lines etched in sand and slight wobble in Nine gait as Sonic jogged up to him.

If his ears were any lesser, he wouldn't have caught the shy "Thanks." from the fox.

He slowly lifted his hand and let his palm fall flat on the fox's head as they made their way back to the workshop for the night. Feeling the little flinch, Sonic waited for further response, and only when Nine settled in to the touch, did he receive a hesitant pat.

"Thanks you too."

#sonic prime #if you see different shaped apostrophes no you don't #i edited half of this thing on my computer and and written another third on my phone thats why #didnt feel like fixing it lmao #anyway yea these two make me sick #you can pry sonic and nine having difictult emotional conversations away from my cold dead fossilizing hands #this wasnt supposed to have almost 5k words!!!!#miles nine prower #nine the fox #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #the same but different #me when I finish writing

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