#my two favorite characters.....interacting............................^-^
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xechu · 2 days ago
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[Honor & Vengeance] S. Geto - 夏油 傑
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Pairing: general!suguru x fem!reader Word Count: 11.6k Series Warnings: please read my blog rules before interacting. 18+ mdni, explicit sexual content, depiction of gore and violence, mature themes Chapter Warnings: mature themes, emotional angst, description of violence, childhood emotional abuse and trauma, suicidal thoughts, death, grief, description of injuries - please read with care Tags: historical au, non-curse au, marriage of convenience, slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut, angst, hurt/comfort Summary: Yu Haibara—Suguru’s right-hand man and childhood best friend—recounts the rise and fall of House Geto, and the oath that bound them together. Suguru's ambitions are revealed, and King Sato had summoned him in private to task him with a secret mission. While all seems calm within the Geto Estate, unresolved issues from the Eastern Campsite continue to fester. a/n: I really enjoyed writing this chapter, even though it's a bit emotionally heavy. I never expected to write a whole chapter in (mostly) Haibara's POV, but he's easily becoming one of my favorite characters in this series. Also, for clarification in this chapter "sworn kin" = godchild. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading! x
Master List: << chapter 5 || chapter 7 (tbc) >>
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[Chapter 6]: All-Seeing Advisor
Yu Haibara was the official advisor of House Geto and Suguru’s right-hand man. 
One would think that he was constantly shadowed by the Conqueror of Stars, but fear not! For the All-Seeing Advisor was brilliant in his own ways, and a palace court favorite too, particularly among the female servants.
Ah. The tragedy of being the keeper of many beautiful women’s hearts, and by beautiful, he meant the kind who smiled freely and laughed with their whole heart. And if they didn’t? Well, there’s beauty in the quiet mystique as well. And dare he say, even more alluring? 
But by no means was he a womanizer! 
No. Never.
More like a painting if he might humbly suggest. Destined to only be admired from afar. After all, being his best friend’s right-hand man was already enough—his life’s purpose.
The two arrived at the palace earlier this morning to relay further details of the incident at the Eastern Campsite. It was an unusual request, though not entirely unheard of, but Sato had asked for a private audience with Suguru. There was a special task that he needed to assign to his general, which was how Haibara currently found himself waiting alone in an empty corridor. 
In the silence, Haibara couldn’t help but reflect on the current predicament back home.
On the surface, everything at the Geto Estate seemed status quo, but underneath, it was anything but—like a simmering volcano ready to erupt without warning. The silence was more deafening than any scream.
It had been two weeks since everyone returned, but ever since, you had confined yourself in the guest house. Yumi was the only connection between you and the rest of the world.
“How is she?” Haibara asked Yumi in passing. 
“Our Lady is recovering steadily.”
As usual, Yumi’s answers were always short and lacked explanation. Of course, he was relieved to hear you were recovering. But her words were underspoken, because he knew the wound on your hand wasn't the only wound that required tending to: it was the one inside your heart, undoubtedly still bleeding and perhaps even more severe.
Everyone had seen it that day, how Suguru leapt to Ayaka’s defense. It may have seemed noble, even loyal. But it was also revealing. Because if a man truly loved his wife the way Suguru so convincingly appeared to, his first instinct would have been to protect you. Even if it meant treason. Even if it meant death.
Lord Shinjiro would have protected Lady Sumire—even at the cost of the King.
“Master Haibara… if I may,” Yumi said softly. “I know it is not in my place to say such things, but it pains me to watch my Lady wither away like this…”
She didn’t even have to explain the details for dread to weigh in the pit of his stomach.
“I hope Geto-sama can understand how much this cost her. My Lady is beloved by many, and also has many hobbies. She can no longer write to her father, nor ride a horse properly—and most of all, she may never pick up a sword again.
“Surely, Geto-sama must understand as a soldier himself—that this is akin to a death sentence. Does your lord not think he should at least grant some decency and visit her?”
Haibara swallowed the lump in his throat. Truth be told, he completely agreed with Yumi. How could he not? Since the first day they had gotten back to the estate, he had tried to convince Suguru several times to go see you, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. 
He knew that this time Suguru didn’t dare to visit, not because he was too proud, but because he didn’t think he deserved to face you.
And Haibara understood the feeling of guilt and shame better than anyone else—it eats you alive. 
It was like that day all over again. 
The one person Suguru refused to see a final time before the cremation…
Was Sayuri.
.
.
.
It may come as a surprise to most, but Suguru wasn’t just some cold, calculated warlord from birth. He used to be a boy filled with hopes and dreams just like anyone else. He laughed, smiled, teased, and could even be a little mischievous. On the other hand, Haibara—believe it or not, was the complete opposite. He was quiet, observant, and even a bit distant. 
By the age of eight, Haibara was already well-accustomed to shame and embarrassment, and worse yet, how to smile through it. 
Now, why would such emotions be placed on a boy who was far too young, far too unequipped, to navigate such feelings?
It was all because of his father: Akito Haibara. 
Akito was best described as a sly fox. A social climber. An opportunist. His ambitions outweighed his morals. Though he was intelligent and competent when he needed to be, his achievements had never been through merit, but rather through the connections he had sunk his claws in. He was a senior finance clerk within the royal palace, another administration role among the hundreds within its golden walls, but the only reason such an opportunity was even afforded to him in the first place, was because his wife was a minor lord’s daughter. Otherwise, as a person of common birth, he couldn’t even dream of stepping through the palace gates. 
As a senior clerk, Akito was tasked with low-level treasury duties but still made a decent salary, yet, fortune on its own was not good enough. He wanted prestige. Status. Legacy. His dream was to become the Chief of Treasury. 
And so, whenever he could, he would try to rub shoulders with whoever he deemed may be useful in catapulting his career, while blatantly ignoring anyone who didn’t serve his ambitions. In hindsight, Haibara was sure that his father saw everyone as chess pieces—quite literally and figuratively. 
But sometimes, the universe seemed to favor the cruel, because very soon Akito struck an opportunity of a lifetime: Shinjiro Geto. 
Shinjiro came into the House of Revenue one quiet afternoon while Akito was alone at the front desk. And right away, he recognized who the imposing figure was—the famed General of the Nine Suns, the embodiment of good character and integrity, a man that was almost more regal than King Sato himself. In fact, if he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought Shinjiro was the king. 
Akito, being the conniving fox he was, was already scheming, thinking of what sweet and enticing words to say and make an impression on the unassuming general. 
“General Geto, what a pleasant surprise.” He put on his best smile. 
“Ah, yes. You are…” 
Of course the general—up on his high horse—wouldn’t have known a lowly clerk like himself.
“Forgive my impoliteness. I am Akito Haibara, the senior finance clerk here,” he lightly bowed. 
“Akito, a pleasure. And, please, there is no need for such formalities. We are all civil servants here,” Shinjiro chuckled. 
Indeed, Akito was a great opportunist. Too cunning for his own good.
That one introduction sparked a string of conversations, and soon, he somehow secured himself an invitation to the Geto Estate.
“I have a son who’s just a year older than Yu, perhaps, if it’s not too much to ask—you can bring him to our home some time,” Shinjiro smiled earnestly. 
“How could I ever burden you like that, General Geto?” 
“Please, Akito, you can call me Shinjiro. I insist… besides,” the general let out a small weary sigh. “Suguru needs more friends. He spends too much time between books and the sword—I worry for him.” 
“Ah, but I’m sure it’s only because he wants to live up to his father’s legacy.” 
Shinjiro hummed, but there was a slight sadness in his eyes. “I often wished it weren’t so.” 
“I understand your sentiment, Shinjiro. We only ever hope for our children’s happiness.” 
“Precisely, I’m glad you understand. Sometimes... I wish my boy wasn’t so hard on himself.”
“And sometimes I wish my boy was more disciplined!”
The two men paused and exchanged an amused look. And then broke out into laughter. 
“Then it’s settled—Suguru and Yu could learn from each other.” Shinjiro let out a sigh of relief.
“If it is for our children’s future, then allow me to be a shameless father.” Akito agreed heartily.
Confusion washed over Haibara as his father abruptly woke him up. Before his vision could even focus—before he had a chance to understand what was going on—his father had already begun yelling at him for being slow, muttering something about a place they had to visit. The Geto Estate—wherever that was.
Akito screamed for his wife, who bolted into the room, flustered. He barked out the order as he walked away: “Change him into his best clothes, so he doesn’t embarrass me.”
Haibara watched as his mother fumbled to the wardrobe, a familiar feeling bubbled in his chest once again. He had only recently learned the name of this feeling through a book he’d read by chance. Whenever he saw his mother, the name of that feeling was pity.
It was confusing, he didn’t know why his father was so awful to his mother, and he didn’t understand why his father seemed to hate him. He had never said it out loud, but it was evident in his eyes. His father always gave him a mean look. But in front of others, he was timid, soft-spoken—like a kind man.
So which one was his real father? 
He wasn’t sure.
He had only hoped it was the kind man.
But he knew, deep down, it probably wasn’t.
Haibara found himself standing beside his father in front of the large wooden doors of the Geto Estate. It was enormous! He was certain the door alone could fit twenty of him.
Excitement washed over him as he admired the sheer size of the doors, but it faded quickly as his father let out a harsh grunt. The small boy immediately froze—a warning that he recognized all too well. It usually came before his father lost his temper.
As the doors swung open, he watched his father’s expression shift instantly. The kind-man face was back.
Hand-in-hand, the father and son crossed the threshold and into the front garden. Haibara had never seen such splendor before. The landscape was spectacular—well-manicured greenery, a serene zen garden, vibrant trees, and a few groundskeepers tending to the yard. If the Geto Estate was already this beautiful, he could only imagine what the palace must look like.
“Quit ogling like you’re some low-class commoner,” Akito hissed under his breath.
But he was a hypocrite. Green with envy, his own eyes scanned the yard and the immaculate estate.
If only he hadn’t been born a commoner.
If only his wife weren’t a minor lord’s daughter.
If only his son wasn’t such a weak, fragile thing.
He was competent. Intelligent. Handsome. He had all the makings of nobility. So why did the universe deal him such a lowly hand?
Why couldn’t he live Shinjiro Geto’s life?
As they continued toward the estate entrance, Akito couldn’t help the jealousy simmering inside him. It only deepened when he saw the Geto family standing there—waiting to greet them.
The whispers about Sumire Geto were true. Even after two children, she was still exquisite. A woman whom kings would go to war and tear down kingdoms for. It was a surprise that King Sato did not take her for himself. 
A beautiful, picturesque family.
The envy of all men.
“Father, you’re holding my hand too tight!” Haibara squirmed under his grip.
Akito clicked his tongue and glared down at his son. Weak. His boy was so infuriatingly weak. 
The day hadn't even begun, and Haibara was already wracked with anxiety. Were the Getos going to be nicer than Father? Or do they also have their kind-man faces? 
“Akito, I’m so glad you could make it!” A welcoming voice called out.
“Shinjiro, thank you for your generous invitation.” Akito bowed.
Haibara timidly followed, “Thank you for the invitation, Lord Shinjiro, Lady Sumire.” Mimicking his father’s movements. 
“My, you are a polite boy!” Shinjiro smiled, kneeling down on one knee to meet the small child in the eyes.
Lord Shinjiro indeed had a kind-man face, but it was different. His smile felt like the sun, and the slight crinkles around his eyes reminded him of the rays. All Haibara could do was stare at him in awe and slowly nod.
“This is my boy, Suguru, the two of you are around the same age,” he gently pulled Suguru to his side.
Haibara’s first impression of Suguru was that he was rather intimidating. He may have only been a year older, but he was already a few inches taller. He was also handsome like his father, but unlike Lord Shinjiro, Suguru felt like the winter snow. Cold, yet there was also a certain gentleness to him. His voice was rather soft, but his words were unwavering and precise. Sayuri, who was only four, was already a lot livelier than her older brother. And though she looked like Lady Sumire, Sayuri, too, felt like the sun.
But among all of them, if Haibara had to be honest, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Lady Sumire. If Lord Shinjiro and Sayuri were the sun, Suguru the winter snow; Lady Sumire reminded him of sun glitter—the shimmering light on water. He never knew it was possible for someone to be so radiant, and her voice was like a soothing lullaby. 
For the first time, Haibara experienced the uncomfortable pangs of jealousy. 
Because when he looked at Lord Shinjiro and Lady Sumire, he wished his father could feel like the warm sun too—and his mother could sparkle like sun glitter.
“Suguru, why don’t you go show Yu around? Perhaps you two can get to know each other more.” Lady Sumire smiled.
Suguru nodded and turned to Haibara. “What would you like to do? I can show you the training field or my study.”
“Oh yes. My boy has a variety of interests! He’s very keen on books and the sword as well!” Akito exclaimed.
Haibara shot a nervous look at his father. The sword? That wasn’t true. He had never even touched a wooden sword in his life! He wanted to tell them that his father made a mistake. Perhaps he remembered wrong. He loved books, yes, but never the sword—
“Is that right?” Shinjiro seemed amused. “Then it seems our two boys have a lot in common!”
Nervousness settled in Haibara’s chest as he followed Suguru’s lead. He quietly hoped they'd go to the study instead, and forget all about the training field. But of course, just as luck would have it, Suguru led him straight to the field.
“Here.” Suguru gave a small smile as he handed him a wooden practice sword, a slight interest glimmering in his eyes—unlike Haibara’s, which probably looked like those of a scared deer.
Especially with his father and the Getos watching from afar, he already dreaded how this would unfold.
Why did his father have to lie?
Why did he always put him in these kinds of predicaments?
“Are… you ready?” Suguru asked, but there was a bit of uncertainty in his voice. As if he’d caught on his pretense. 
Haibara only nodded. Perhaps he’d just block a few of Suguru’s strikes and then it would be over. Surely, it wasn’t that difficult… right?
Wrong. 
It was a lot more difficult than he had imagined.
Thanks to beginner’s luck, Haibara barely managed to block his first strike. Suguru’s wooden sword grazed his shoulder from the way he deflected the sword, and it stung, but Haibara endured it. On the second strike, he completely missed the block with his sword, and blocked it with his wrist instead. By the third strike, Suguru nearly hit his head but immediately stopped when Lord Shinjiro gave him a stern warning that he was being too rough. 
Immediately after the warning, Suguru completely deflated—letting out a small huff, and returned the sparring swords to the rack.
“Why did you agree to spar when you didn’t want to?” he asked. There was an unamused look on his face.
“I… don’t know how to,” Haibara murmured, staring down at his feet.
“But your father said you were interested in the sword.”
“No… not really,” Haibara quietly confessed. 
“So is your father a liar then?”
Heat rose to Haibara’s ears. He wanted to tell Suguru that his father was indeed a liar... a very good one, too. But what if the truth was relayed to Lord Shinjiro and Lady Sumire—and they never invited Father back?
Father would be angry. 
He wished he could tell the truth, but the fear of his father's wrath gripped him like an icy vice.
“N-No…” Haibara lied.
“Then if your father isn’t a liar, then you must be a liar.” Suguru let out a breath of disbelief. 
“I’m not!” His voice came out louder, more desperate, than he intended.
All heads turned toward the commotion, and when Haibara met his father’s scornful gaze, the blood drained from his face. The world began to spin, and it felt as though the sky was falling on him.
Everything was too overwhelming. 
Tears welled in his eyes, and the more desperately he tried to hold them back, the more they threatened to spill. Father always hated it when he cried. Said that tears were for the weak-willed. Said that emotions were weak.
But he couldn’t stop it this time.
He burst into tears. 
Everyone crowded around him, their faces etched with concern. All but Suguru, who stood behind his parents and watched everything unfold with a cold stare. Yet in a moment of vulnerability, Haibara's arms flew around Lady Sumire instead of his own father, seeking comfort and refuge. It caught everyone by surprise—except Lady Sumire, who cradled him without hesitation, as if he were her own child.
“I apologize, Lady Sumire!” Akito said, flustered, as he tried to pry his son off. “The boy must miss his mother.”
“It’s fine, Lord Akito,” she smiled gracefully. But her hands tightened around Haibara. “Let him stay.”
He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in her warm embrace, but she never let him go. Her hand moved in soft, comforting circles along his back as she cooed to him gently. In between sobs he would mutter apologies, though he wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for. But among the muffled sniffles and hiccups, Lady Sumire’s voice rang clear: It’s not your fault, Yu.
After that embarrassing debacle, Haibara was certain he would be reprimanded once he got home. Lady Sumire’s beautiful garment was a mess from all his tears, which his father profusely apologized for. The day dragged on, as he prepared for his impending doom. Suguru also became extremely quiet afterwards, retreating to his study room and then pulling out a book to read. Uncertain, Haibara trailed behind him hesitantly.
“Aren’t you going to join me, or are you just going to stand there?” Suguru murmured.
Something in his tone, and in how he avoided Haibara’s gaze, it reminded him of the way he avoided his father’s gaze whenever he thought he’d done something wrong. 
Was it possible… that Suguru was feeling sorry? 
Haibara nodded and quickly pulled a seat beside Suguru. 
“What books do you like? I have many,” he said, flipping through his own book, but it was clear that he was not actually reading.
“I like all kinds of books—poetry, literature, fiction,” Haibara listed.
Suguru sighed, and reluctantly handed him the book he was currently holding, “How about this one? Your father said you liked books too. I am… a little confused about this one.” 
Haibara’s eyes widened and he nodded, gingerly taking the book from Suguru’s hands. As he flipped through the pages, he enthusiastically explained each paragraph while Suguru quietly nodded along.
Little did he know, Suguru had already read the same fiction book five times. It was his favorite novel, but he just felt bad for making Haibara cry. 
And just like that, a new brotherhood began. 
“You have done wonderfully today, my boy!” Akito could barely contain his excitement as he stepped inside their home.
It was surprising, he thought he would be reprimanded after his outburst back at the Geto Estate. Instead, his father picked him up and gave him a few spins, chanting praises for being smart and brilliant.
For a moment, it felt good—that his father was finally pleased with him. 
Haibara looked up to his father, as he was set back on his feet. Akito was grinning from ear to ear, and the boy couldn’t help but return the smile. But very soon, his father's features subtly twisted into something dark.
“It’s all because you tugged at that woman’s heartstrings,” he practically snickered.
That woman? Was he talking about Lady Sumire? 
Haibara’s heart sank at the thought. An unfamiliar feeling coiled in his chest. He didn’t understand it, but all he knew was it didn’t feel so good anymore. 
Still, he kept smiling. 
“Perhaps your weakness can finally be your strength.” 
Did his father mean his tears? 
“Just cry a few more times and she might even make you her sworn kin!” 
His smile immediately dropped as he watched his father hum happily and retreat into his office.
Ever since that day, Haibara never cried again.
Even from the young age of eight, he realized…
He never wanted to break Lady Sumire’s heart.
He never wanted to abuse her kindness.
Since that fateful day, on the twelfth of every month, Akito Haibara would bring his son to the Geto Estate without fail, until his son was the ripe age of fifteen, when he was old enough to travel on his own. 
As soon as Haibara gained his independence to travel solo, he would make frequent visits to the Geto Estate, a place that had felt more like a home than his own home. Lord Shinjiro and Lady Sumire would always welcome him with open arms. His and Suguru’s bond continued to deepen. Meanwhile, everyone watched Sayuri blossom into a spirited young girl—a mirror image of Lady Sumire. Haibara treated her like a precious younger sister, though sometimes, the way she bossed him around and teased him, it felt more like she was the older one. It was amusing and strangely endearing.
But even in those warm years, guilt and shame still clung to Haibara like a phantom—an inescapable fate. It was all because of who his father was, and how all this only came to be through his manipulation.
Surely, there was no way someone like Lord Shinjiro couldn’t see through Akito’s deceit…
So then why? Why did he still maintain a relationship with his father? Why did he still help Akito get what he wanted?
Why did he still welcome the likes of Haibara?
He didn't understand it. And a small part of him wasn't sure if he ever wanted to find out.
Thanks to Shinjiro’s good word, Akito quickly ascended through the ranks and became the Chief of Treasury. Who would have guessed that a single general had so much sway in the palace? But perhaps, it wasn’t just his simple title—it was the prestige behind the Geto family name. 
By then, Akito had also learned to tame his temper—he had an important image to uphold now, and high society (finally) had its eyes on him. Even so, Haibara’s mother eventually divorced him. She cried when she walked out of their home for the last time, but neither Haibara nor his father shed a tear. His father didn’t cry because he was glad to be rid of her. Haibara, on the other hand, did not shed a single tear—not because he was cold, but because he was happy. He no longer had to feel pity every time he saw her. His mother was free. Free from a wrath she never deserved.
It wasn’t a time for mourning.
It was a liberation worth celebrating.
But of course, for a leech like Akito, the satisfaction of his newfound status and fortune quickly faded. After all, human greed was a parasite.
He hungered for more. He wanted his son to be more. 
Haibara had always irritated Akito. His son was too soft. Too moral. He may have inherited his intelligence, but he had his useless mother’s judgment. He’d never succeed Akito’s legacy.
Not like Suguru.
Suguru would become the next great general—arguably even greater than the General of the Nine Suns. Everyone could see it and had high hopes for him. Shinjiro Geto’s legacy would live on, whereas Akito’s hard work would be all for naught. The Haibara name would never be remembered. So if Akito couldn’t make his son into something great, then he’d tie him to greatness another way.
Sayuri.
Yes. She would be the key.
She would be his son’s wife.
Haibara had just returned home from the Geto Estate. Since his father’s new promotion, they now upgraded to an estate—just like the Getos. The only reason why he appreciated their new living conditions was because of the space, which meant there was more distance to avoid his father. 
It always irked him… how his father seemed to be at some odd competition with Lord Shinjiro, except he was the only one entertaining his own delusions. When they first moved, his father immediately hired workers and groundskeepers to bring out his vision for the front yard. And it turned out to be a near replica of the one at the Geto Estate. Thankfully, Akito never extended the Getos an invitation to their new home, because quite frankly, it would have been embarrassing.
Regardless, Haibara kept his mouth shut, because he knew there would be no point. If his father was even reasonable in the first place, his mother would still be here, he would still be a senior clerk, they would still be living in their modest home, but at least they would be happy. 
As he quickly made his way through the front of the estate, Akito emerged from his office and pulled him aside for a private word.
“My son, you are at the age where you ought to start considering a wife,” Akito said out of the blue. 
“Why the sudden thought, Father?” 
“It is not sudden. You will be eighteen soon. I also married your mother when I was that age.” 
“I will consider it another time—I am not eighteen yet.” He tried to shut down the conversation.
“Don’t be foolish, son! Surely, you must have met a suitable woman already. Is there anyone who has caught your eye?” 
Haibara sighed. “No, Father.”
He had already dreaded this conversation. Akito never spoke to anyone without an agenda, including his own son. He knew his father wasn’t asking out of genuine concern; he was trying to gauge him for something. Whatever scheme he was trying to orchestrate this time, Haibara knew he wanted no part of it. Still, he would at least pretend to hear him out.
Akito leaned in, his voice disturbingly lighthearted. “How about Sayuri?” 
Bile rose in his throat, the pit of his stomach churning with disgust. Not because Sayuri disgusted him, but the fact that his vile father had set his dirty sights on her.
“No,” he replied firmly. 
“Why not? She is growing up to be just like her mother—you will be the luckiest man in the country!” 
“I will not consider her, Father. She is like a sister to me.” Haibara tried to contain the fury swirling inside him like a storm. 
“But she isn’t your sister! Think about it—”
“There is no thinking about it. I will not entertain this conversation any longer,” Haibara snapped, beginning to walk away. His body trembled with rage and repulsion.
His father was a lecherous fiend, who only saw women for two things: status and pleasure. And for the first time ever, Haibara finally admitted… he hated his father.
Before he could take more than a few steps, Akito yelled after him. “Have you become so shortsighted?! Sure, you go visit them all the time—but do you think they really consider you as their family?”
Haibara gritted his teeth, ignoring his father and marching straight to his room.
It’s not that what his father said wasn’t true. Even now, he wasn’t sure if the Getos truly saw him as family. But if he must admit, a part of him felt it was for the better that they didn’t, because to this day, Haibara still felt like an outsider among them. He was unworthy. And he never wanted to sully the Geto’s good name. 
They could never be family, because he was Akito Haibara’s filthy kin.
Ever since his father had gotten what he wanted, he had even stopped visiting the Geto Estate—stopped visiting Lord Shinjiro altogether.
It was shameless. 
How he made it so obvious.
How he couldn’t even pretend. 
Every time Haibara visited, Lord Shinjiro would ask him how his father had been doing, and all Haibara could do was come up with the same feeble excuses—that he was busy because of work, or busy entertaining other officials for work. When in reality his disgraceful father would just spend his days gallivanting around town and visiting tea houses… which were fancy fronts for brothels. 
At this point, he was quite certain Lord Shinjiro knew he was lying. Yet, after every feeble excuse, he would give the same warm smile, and remind Haibara to tell his good friend Akito that family and health should come before work. Haibara would return a polite smile and promise him to relay the message to his father. 
But he never would.
His father didn’t deserve Lord Shinjiro’s kindness. 
He himself didn’t deserve Lord Shinjiro’s kindness.
All these years… Haibara felt like a fraud.
Because no matter what, they were cut from the same cloth. 
Like father, like son.
And the thought made him sick.
Akito’s marriage conversation replayed in Haibara’s mind over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more disgust churned in his stomach. Normally, he was pretty good at hiding his turmoil, but recently, the mask was too suffocating, too heavy to keep on. And he wasn't sure how much longer he could pretend.
“You’re spacing out again, Haibara,” Suguru mused. 
“What’s wrong with him today, nii-sama?”
Suguru turned to Sayuri and shrugged. 
“It’s nothing… I fell off my horse on the way here, so my back is sore,” Haibara absently lied.
“I don’t believe it,” Suguru gave him a half-amused, half-skeptical look. “You’ve always been a steady rider.”
“Happens to the best of us,” Haibara casually countered, but his gaze was still fixed outside to the courtyard. There was nothing interesting about the courtyard, but his guilt kept him from meeting them in the eyes—especially Sayuri’s. 
Sayuri gave Suguru a puzzled look, which he returned with a knowing nod. “Could you bring Haibara an herbal patch?”
She was tempted to protest, but held back from doing so. 
“...Fine,” she relented, understanding her brother’s tacit request: a boys’ talk.
She quietly left and slid the room door shut. Suguru stayed silent, carefully listening to her retreating footsteps, until he was confident she was far enough from eavesdropping.
“What’s on your mind?” He began.
It was inconvenient how perceptive Suguru was, nothing ever escaped his keen eyes. And for someone like Haibara, it was uncomfortable, because there were too many shameful things he couldn’t say out loud. 
“I don’t want to talk about it.” 
“Then why are you sulking?” 
“I am not—” Haibara clicked his tongue. “I do not sulk.” 
“I beg to differ,” Suguru returned, a small lilt in his voice.
“It’s nothing, Suguru. Stop asking.” He rolled his eyes.
A brief stillness fell over the two boys.
“...is it your father?” 
Haibara paused, and turned his head slowly to meet his friend’s gaze. 
“How would you know?”
“You’re not upset unless it’s him.” 
“Is it that obvious?”
Suguru hummed. “Not really.” 
It was true, Haibara hid his emotions well. But Suguru also knew his best friend better than anyone else, and it was something he took great pride in. After all, he would be a terrible friend if he didn’t notice. 
Haibara let out a deep sigh—a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world. He was utterly ashamed, terrified Suguru might see his father’s cruelty as a reflection of him.
But now that he was here, confronted by his best friend, it felt wrong not to confess the truth… when he’s been lying to them for so long.
“My father is a monster.” The words spilled from his lips before he even had time to properly articulate them. 
There was a look of surprise in Suguru’s eyes, and immediately, regret surged in Haibara's chest.
He had already started this conversation wrong.
From here on out, his best friend would never be able to see him the same way again.
“Why is he a monster?”
“He… he’s not a good man. He doesn’t see anyone as an actual human—just a pawn for his gains. Whether it’s his own family or anyone else… I’m sorry I lied to you and your family.”
Heavy silence filled the room. Every second felt suffocating, every breath felt harder and harder to take. Haibara didn’t dare to look into Suguru's eyes. 
The shame. The guilt. The remorse. It was all too much to bear. 
“I’m sorry, Haibara.”
Was this it? 
Was this the end of their friendship—? 
“I should have asked you sooner.” 
Haibara looked at his best friend, eyes wide in shock, and for once, words failed him. This wasn’t the outcome he expected. He thought Suguru would be angry. Disgusted by him—or at the very least, disappointed. But instead, he was apologizing. Accepting him.
He didn’t know what to say. What to think of this situation. 
Because Haibara had only ever prepared for the friendship to be doomed, once the truth of his father’s nature came to light.
Suguru let out a small sigh and narrowed his eyes. Now he was the one who avoided Haibara’s gaze. “I had a feeling—he hadn’t been kind to you. I should have said something.”
“It’s fine…” Haibara quietly said, blinking out the sting in his eyes. 
On one hand, he was relieved that Suguru still wanted to be his friend. But on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel exposed and embarrassed. 
“He is my father. He’s not your problem, Suguru. I just feel remorseful that he used your family as well.”
Suguru let out a small scoff. “You think my family would easily be tricked by someone—even like your father—into using them? You think too lowly of Geto.”
“Lord Shinjiro helped my father become Chief! That was all he wanted from him this whole time!” 
“And what of it?” Suguru crossed his arms, and leaned back into his chair. 
In this light, Haibara realized—Suguru had truly grown into a formidable young man. He was almost the spitting image of Lord Shinjiro, but he had Lady Sumire’s smile and calm demeanor. 
“Your father may be insufferable, but he’s competent,” Suguru continued, “And as you said, it is thanks to my father he is where he is now, which means he owes my father.”
“Still, Lord Shinjiro is far too kind. He always wishes my father well and asks how he’s doing, when my father doesn’t even care to visit anymore!”
“Well, have you relayed my father’s messages to him?”
“O-Of course, not! He doesn’t deserve it—”
“You should have delivered my father’s messages.”
Haibara shot him a frustrated glance, but Suguru’s gaze only softened.
“Haibara, I can assure you—his well-wishes were never intended for Lord Akito...
“They were for you.”
Haibara blinked, unsure if he’d misheard. He struggled to draw the connection. He didn’t understand how those kind words were for his sake. 
A small, understanding smile graced Suguru’s lips. “That was my father’s way of warning him… that he was watching over you.” 
His breath caught. The revelation knocked the air out of his lungs.
He had always known Lord Shinjiro was sharp. His level of perceptiveness was a rarity even among other like-minded individuals. Yet he never understood why he continued to treat Akito with such patience, with such… grace.
But now, it made sense.
Because Lord Shinjiro wasn’t showing kindness to a man who deserved it.
He was showing kindness to protect someone else.
To protect him.
A sense of remorse and unworthiness washed over him. All this time, he felt isolated, like a stranger looking through a window. But he realized it was not his father, it was not his circumstances, it was him—his own insecurities and resentment towards Akito that kept him from being close. That kept him from truly accepting the Getos.
No more. 
He cannot hide behind self-pity and play victim like his father.
That would be an insult to Lord Shinjiro, to Lady Sumire, to his mother.
Still, one question lingered.
“When… did he know?” Haibara’s voice shook. 
There was a brief pause that followed, only the delicate songbirds cutting into the silence of the study room.
And then, Suguru smiled at him—truly smiled. His eyes carried that same warmth as Lord Shinjiro’s, which was rare. 
“It was my mother who noticed it first.”
Lady Sumire? 
But how?
“That day,” he said softly. “When you ran to her instead of your own father.”
On that quiet spring day, its gentle warmth thawed the cold vice that had always gripped his conscience. Between two sworn brothers, a liberating realization took shape, lifting the weight Haibara had carried for what felt like a lifetime. He never realized how good freedom could feel—like he could soar through the sky and take on the world.
Did his mother feel the same when she left?
Probably not.
Because Haibara understood that she loved him. And no loving mother would have wanted to leave their child behind.
When Haibara finds his own footing in this world—he will visit her, not as the son of Akito Haibara. But as a worthy, capable man in his own right. A man she could be proud of.
Alas, life always takes the opposite turn when one least expects it.
Haibara felt as though the world was ending. Silence drowned beneath a deafening buzz ringing in his ears. His breathing became erratic. He clutched his chest—his heart pounding so rapidly, so harshly, he thought he was having a heart attack.
In fact, it was better that he did and just passed away. 
Because what the hell did his father mean that the Geto Family had just been massacred?
Suguru.
Sayuri. 
Lady Sumire. 
Lord Shinjiro… 
“Did you hear me, Yu?” Akito asked, irritation creeping into his voice. He hated repeating himself.
He looked up at his father, who was completely unmoved by the news. Without a flicker of sympathy or sadness, he tossed the scroll aside—a message from the royal court announcing their tragic death.
How could this bastard be so cruel?
Lord Shinjiro welcomed them to his home. Helped Akito rise to power. And this was how he delivered the news? Without even a shred of sympathy? Treating it like it’s an annoyance?
For the first time in his life, Haibara felt something dangerous snap inside him.
A violent, burning rage surged through his veins.
He wanted to kill his father.
Without another word, Haibara rose, grabbed his sword, and secured it at his hip. It was a precious item that was gifted to him by Lord Shinjiro last year. He had always abhorred violence. Mostly because his father had glorified it in such a twisted, hollow way. But over the years, after training with Suguru and Lord Shinjiro, Haibara had learned there could be honor in the sword. And sometimes, it was even a necessity—to protect the ones you cherish.
“Where are you going?” his father asked, irritated. 
“I’m riding to the Geto Estate,” Haibara replied, voice unfaltering. 
“Are you out of your mind?!” Akito shot up from his seat, his cup of wine spilling all over the desk. 
“I should ask you the same,” Haibara snapped, his glare sharp as a blade. “Do you have any honor? Any decency? After all they’ve done for you—this is how you thank them?”
“You really are stupid, just like your mother! What makes you think going there will change anything?! They’re dead—”
Haibara drew his sword, the tip pressing against his father’s throat.
“If you don’t hold your vile tongue, I’ll send another soul to the afterlife tonight,” he said coldly. “Though I doubt even hell would open their gates for you.”
Akito trembled. For the first time, he had seen something foreign in his son's eyes, there was no doubt, no fear, no emotions. He no longer looked weak. Even one more breath, and Akito knew he would certainly be dead. 
For all his boasting about power and strength, he folded quickly when faced with the real thing.
Haibara scoffed, sheathing his sword.
If only he had found his strength sooner. If only he could have protected his own mother.
If only he hadn’t been so afraid of this coward. 
Without another word, he disappeared into the night. Praying for a miracle, Haibara rode full speed toward the estate, focusing on the pounding of his horse’s hooves—anything to drown out the dark voices in his mind
Because he didn’t know if he could live on, if Suguru was dead.
It was dawn by the time Haibara made it to the estate. The sky was painted in hues of blue, purple, and pink—Sayuri’s favorite colors. As if the universe was sending a message, that their souls had found peace.
Standing before the grand doors of the Geto Estate brought back a rush of nostalgia—like the very first time he arrived with his father at eight years old. But now, the wood was splintered, blood stained the entrance.
Haibara had never seen the effects of war or violence, he had only read about them in books. But he could already imagine the gruesome sight he would encounter beyond the doors, because he could already smell it—the acrid tang of putrefaction. Like a rancid meat odor, but a hundred times more pungent.
For the first time, he had come to learn the smell of death, and they say that once you’ve smelt it, you could never forget it. No books, no theory, could prepare him for what’s to come.
Despite it all, he must persevere. 
And so, he took a deep breath and marched through the front doors, determined to face the truth, no matter how much it may break him.
There were already royal guards diligently patrolling the premises. Lines of bodies had been covered by white cotton sheets—presumably the servants and in-house workers. Even the horses and chickens were not spared. He made it only a few steps into the front garden before being abruptly stopped by one of the soldiers.
“Halt! What are you doing here?”
“I have come to pay my respects.”
“Does this look like the appropriate time to pay your respect?! Leave now before—”
“I do not think you understand your position,” Haibara snapped. “I am Yu Haibara, son of Lord Akito Haibara, Chief of Treasury—and I am also the sworn kin of Lord Shinjiro and Lady Sumire Geto.”
Using his father’s name felt like swallowing glass, but perhaps Akito was no longer the only one in the family well-versed in manipulation and deceit. At least this once, his name had served some purpose.
Haibara drew his sword—the steel glimmered under dawn's first light—and presented it to the guard, who assessed it with a discerining eye. The pommel bore the crest of House Geto, while the blade was engraved with his name: Yu Haibara. The guard immediately stiffened, casting a glance toward his superior.
“Now that we are in understanding,” Haibara said coldly. “Do not stand in my way. I’ve come to mourn my family.”
“Our apologies, Lord Haibara. You have our deepest condolences,” the soldiers nodded, and without another word gave him a slight bow—gesturing to him to proceed.
As Haibara made his way through the familiar corridors, every step was bogged by the weight of grief, regret, and sorrow. He should have been here. Not that he would have been useful if even Lord Shinjiro had been felled. But at least he could have been with them to the very end. 
Each step brought him closer to the brink, brought him closer to a truth he wasn’t sure if he could survive. How much more could he endure?
Should he just end it here, and be with them?
No.
He had sworn not to be a coward. At the very least, he should see all of them—see it with his own eyes. And then he can decide what to do next…
“I need a report on the bodies recovered,” Haibara demanded, stopping one of the soldiers in the corridor. 
“Y-Yes, Lord Haibara,” one of the soldiers replied. But his wavering gaze and unsteady breath were enough to tell Haibara that the brutality of this massacre shook even the strongest of men.
As the soldier listed the names one by one, Haibara sank further and further into despair. Lord Shinjiro died a gruesome death—countless stab wounds and arrows to his back. He was found shielding Lady Sumire and Sayuri until the very end. Both Lady Sumire and Sayuri died swiftly. Apparently the killer gave them quick deaths—a merciful kill they said. But there was nothing merciful about this. They had done nothing to incur this heinous atrocity. Haibara couldn’t stomach the details and told the soldier to stop. He didn’t want the images of their final moment engraved in his mind—especially not Sayuri’s death. He just wanted to know if they had suffered or not. And as the soldier finished up the list he realized: Suguru’s body had yet to be discovered. 
Call it instinct, or a brotherly bond, but he felt it in his very core: Suguru was still alive, somewhere. And he needed to find him quick, before anyone else did. Without wasting another second, Haibara began to walk towards a secluded area of the estate, his heart beating rapidly.
Logically speaking, by now, the entirety of the estate should be swept—so if they hadn’t found Suguru yet, it was safe to assume that he had gone somewhere obscure. 
Somewhere easy to miss. 
Like Sayuri’s hidden tea garden.
It was a small area that she had cleared in the courtyard—hidden behind bushes. Her safe haven, as she liked to call it. For when she wanted to hide herself away from the world, read her books, and enjoy sweet treats. It was a secret that she had only revealed to Suguru and Haibara, as her most trusted confidants. 
Please be there, Suguru, he silently begged.
As Haibara approached the area, he noticed two unfamiliar bodies. 
Were they servants of House Geto?
But as he looked closer at their uniform, he realized they couldn’t be—because he didn’t recognize the all-black attire. 
Perhaps they were the assassins?
Did Suguru take them down?
As Haibara continued to track behind the vibrant patches of green, he noticed the blood streaks trailing into the bush.
There was no doubt. Suguru was there. 
He quickly wove his way through the bushes, and there he was laying face down on the ground with deep wounds. His blade was still clutched in his hands. 
He never yielded, even when his body broke down. 
With trembling hands, Haibara reached out, searching for breath.
Please, live, he chanted over and over again like a silent prayer.
You must live, Suguru.
And then he felt it.
It was shallow, to a point where it could have easily been swept with the gentle breeze of the wind. But there was no denying it, he was still alive. 
Haibara nearly broke down right there and then, but there was no time. Each second was precious. Each second dragged him closer to the edge of death. 
“Suguru,” he whispered. 
He remained unresponsive. 
Immediately springing into action, he tore the fabric of his clothes—trying to wrap up any large injuries. As he was tying up one of the wounds, a hand reached out to him, nearly causing him to yell. 
“They…” Suguru said with a strained breath. “They can’t… be trusted…”
They?
What was he talking about? 
Was he perhaps delirious from losing too much blood?
“I’ll get you out of here, I swear it, Suguru.” 
“Do not let them… see you…”
Then, he fell out of consciousness. 
After Suguru’s warning, Haibara somehow managed to slip through the Geto Estate undetected, and returned home. 
Akito’s face drained of color when he saw Haibara carrying a battered, barely recognizable Suguru through the entrance.
“What are you doing, Yu?!” 
Haibara ignored his father and rushed to his room with Suguru still on his back 
“Call the physician—now.” He commanded, desperation bleeding through his voice.
“No! I will not! Why didn’t you just leave him there?!” Akito protested, urgently trailing behind his son. “This is clearly an omen! Surely, the Geto family must have incurred the gods’ wrath!”
Time and time again, Akito proved himself a heartless bastard. Yet, he shouldn’t have expected any less from this bottom-feeding scum. However, now wasn’t the time for arguments—Haibara needed his father’s cooperation.
“Don’t be so short-sighted, Father,” Haibara said, sliding open the bedroom door with urgency and carefully setting Suguru on his bed. 
“Think about it—he’s now the sole survivor of House Geto.” He locked eyes with his father.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into! What if the assassins come for us?!” Akito was hysterical. His hands trembled, fear finally breaking through his usual conceited demeanor.
He was scared. 
Good. Now, he would prey on that fear, the same way his father always had. 
This would be the last time. Like father, like son he shall be. 
“Have you grown complacent after becoming Chief?” 
“That’s not true—”
“I thought better of you, Father. I never expected your ambitions to be so… shallow.”
Akito grumbled. His ambitions were shallow? Never! 
“This is different! You don't know what you're getting all of us into!”
“Do you think you would be safe after all this, Father? Think about it, now that Lord Shinjiro—the man who vouched for your current position—is gone. What’s not to say that your position as Chief would soon be given to someone else?”
There was a brief pause, and as much as Akito loathed to admit it, his son had brought up a valid point. When had he become so cowardly and short-sighted?!
“Then what do you suggest?” 
Haibara smirked, spotting the greed glinting in his father’s eyes. A glow Akito couldn’t hide even if he tried.
“We make him owe us—owe you, father. He has no family, no one to turn to—so naturally, he will turn to you, his savior.”
Akito began to nod, the gears already turning before the words had even fully settled. In the face of opportunity, he never hesitated. Covetousness flowed through him like blood—vital, instinctive, endless. 
“If he survives this, you will have all of House Geto under your thumb. And you will be revered among the court as a man of integrity. Lord Shinjiro’s trusted friend, the savior of his only kin. And that House Geto was only able to survive, because of Akito Haibara, the honorable Chief of Treasury.”
There was a moment of silence, but Haibara already knew he had his father right where he wanted. As wicked as his father was, at least he was predictable. His greed and selfishness made him ironically easy to manipulate.
“My son…” Akito’s eyes glimmered, as he gave him a strong pat on the arm. “You have grown to be a brilliant man! I see you are indeed intelligent and wise, just like your old man!” 
The compliment felt more like an insult. And his smile only made the rage inside him simmer. 
“Of course, Father. I only learn from the greatest of minds,” he smiled and leaned in. “But we must make sure this does not get out. Otherwise, others will try to steal your glory like vultures.”
Akito grinned and nodded with grotesque enthusiasm. Only a man like him could still manage to find gold among bones. He wasted no time and sprang into action. He ordered the servants to tend to Suguru, stationed guards outside his room, and summoned only the best physicians.
“I want to make sure not even a strand of this boy’s hair is lost!” He barked with urgency.
“Prepare the warmest and healthiest meals with haste!”
“Summon Physician Masashi immediately!” 
“I want two guards stationed by the door at all times, and one guard standing watch inside!”
“Be sure not a single word gets out that the head of House Geto is here, or I’ll have your tongues!”
Servants all scrambled as Akito took matters into his own hands. 
It was always the heartless ones that could act so convincingly. 
He had never understood why Lord Shinjiro had decided to help elevate his father’s career. But now, seeing him take charge so efficiently, Haibara grudgingly admitted his father could be competent when it suited him.
Regardless, Haibara harbored no resentment at this moment, because he had gained what he needed out of this: a second wind for Suguru. 
3 days later…
Everything was cold and dark.
He was sinking into an endless black sea. All he could hear was the burbling of water. He wasn’t sure how long he had been freefalling. Time and space seemed to warp in this realm, but as time passed, he slowly grew accustomed to the perpetual darkness. It became oddly comfortable, even.
Is this what the afterlife looked like?
Just an endless abyss of nothingness?
Or was he being condemned for making his sister cry? 
He was supposed to apologize to her. In fact, he was about to—he didn’t want her to go to bed misunderstanding him. It had never been his intention to say something so callous.
The more he thought about his sister’s words, the more he realized that she was just… scared. 
And there was no sin, no shame in fear. 
Because that night, he too had been afraid.
Fear gripped him when he heard the blood curdling scream from outside his study room. 
Terror washed over him when he armed his sword to his hips and stepped outside to find the courtyard already painted in crimson and gore. 
Anxiety coiled around his body when he tried to make his way to his family and protect them.
Dread loomed over when a group of assassins intercepted him and he finally had to arm himself to kill.
Horror devastated him when he sunk his blade into two of them, but was dealt a fatal blow from behind. 
Despair consumed him when his world began to fade to black… because he knew he’d never have a chance to properly reconcile. 
He was scared that she would never forgive him.
Suddenly, a harsh light ripped him from the black sea. And that was when he realized…
He had survived.
He’s awake. Someone call the physician immediately! A muffled voice said.
He still felt a bit disoriented. But he soon realized it was Haibara’s voice. 
“Suguru!” His good friend called. 
Yet in this moment, he couldn’t think of anything except for Sayuri, Mother, Father. 
“Haibara.” His voice rasped as he mustered the strength to grab his friend. “Where is my family?”
Haibara didn’t need to say anything for Suguru to understand—the look of despair on his friend’s face said it all: they were gone.
Damn it.
Why didn’t he go with them?!
Why was he the only one to live?!
Why must the universe be so cruel?!
He laid there, numb and devoid of emotions, Haibara explained to him what had happened. How he immediately rode to his residence when he heard of his family’s demise. How he had miraculously found him in Sayuri’s tea garden. How he had been in a coma for three days. 
What will he ever do now—now that all he’s ever known and cherished is gone?
How could he move on?
It was impossible. 
The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before, so much so that it became numb.
And then that numbness eventually prickled.
And then it turned hot.
And then it became scorching rage. 
A heaviness settled in the room. Haibara had sent everyone out.
“It was King Sato,” Suguru finally muttered.
Haibara’s eyes widened. “King Sato—why? A-are you sure?”
Suguru nodded. His eyes were hollow, but rimmed with unshed tears. 
All these years, Haibara had never seen Suguru cry. Even now, his best friend was stubbornly holding onto his tears. Nobody would have blamed him for crying, his entire family had just been murdered in cold blood. 
“There were talks of a rebellion,” he let out a shaky breath. “I heard it in passing a few nights ago... before the attack.
“They wanted to make my father king—but he didn’t want it! He never asked for it!” Suguru’s voice cracked. “Even if they handed my father the crown, he would have never taken it!” 
The dam within Suguru broke. He faltered, and agonizing sobs filled the room. The pain, the grievance, the injustice—it was all palpable.
The revelation was earthshattering.
Haibara’s entire body trembled with rage, sorrow, but also… with fear. Because if it were true, then this was no simple agenda. 
This wasn’t the work of mere enemies.
This was an execution order from the crown itself.
He had heard of rumors and read in some historical texts that every monarch throughout history had something called a Shadow Division. As the name implies, those among this covert group lived in the shadow of the king who appointed them. And their duties ran anywhere between espionage to assassinations—essentially, anything the crown wanted hidden from the world.
Like specters, nobody knows who they are, what they looked like, how they were recruited. Apparently, even among the group itself, it was entirely possible that they didn't know who their fellow members were. They were all discreetly enlisted by the king—and they died with their king.
That would explain two of the unidentified bodies wearing unrecognizable uniforms, found near Suguru.
Surely, there will be repercussions. 
Surely, King Sato would not sit idly by while the heir of House Geto remained undiscovered.
No… there must be a way to survive all this. Because fate—although cruel—had allowed Suguru to live. 
“I’ll kill that bastard who took my family—who took everything from me!” Suguru seethed.
Haibara’s heart beat violently in his chest. Suguru was not just pointing his sword at anyone, he was pointing it at the crown. 
It was utter suicide. 
This would not be what his family had wanted.
But the unyielding look in Suguru’s eyes said it all: there was no stopping him. There was only vengeance. Only pure hatred. It was an inferno that could never be extinguished. And perhaps, the only thing fueling him at this very moment to live. 
There was no doubt, if Haibara left Suguru in his current state, he would have just marched straight through the palace and gotten killed by the royal guards before he even had a chance of touching King Sato. 
Suguru needed a voice of reason, someone to steady his feet, someone to ground him.
Or how else was he going to exact his revenge?
A part of Haibara, too, wanted revenge.
He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. Trying to think of the next move on the board.
Together, they will endure this.
Together, they will survive this. 
There were no guarantees, but he will have to roll the dice and leave the rest up to fate. And should it be the universe's will to have the two die in the process? Then so be it. At least the five of them can reunite again then, which wouldn’t be so terrible.
There was nothing to lose at this point. 
“We will hold a funeral for your family first—a funeral of the century,” Haibara said steadily. 
“What would that change? It wouldn’t bring them back, Haibara!” Suguru looked up at him, fury in his eyes. “And you want to have their deaths paraded among the very ones who wished for their demise?!”
“I implore you to think, Suguru,” Haibara gritted his teeth. “I loathe the thought just as much. But if King Sato, and whoever else, truly wants your family gone—it means they’re still after you. They will want your silence. They will want you cowering in fear.”
Suguru’s fists balled so tightly it drew blood. 
But Haibara was right.
If they remained in hiding, they would be playing right into their hands. It would only be a matter of time before King Sato sent assassins his way again, and he was certain, this time they would finish the job without issues. 
He must solidify his stance. He must make it so he becomes hard to ignore, and that his absence would be noticed, questioned, and could even cause a revolt. 
He must swallow it all down. He must prevail. 
He must display courage. 
He shall walk through hellfire to ensure Sato’s inglorious death.
Suguru looked up, voice tremoring with wrath. “Then let’s give my family the honor and glory of a lifetime.”
Haibara gave a firm nod. Their wills refortified. 
“Then from this moment on, Geto-sama, let me—Yu Haibara—be your first ally. 
Your eyes, where you cannot see. 
Your ears, where you cannot hear. 
Your voice, when you cannot speak. 
Your mind and heart, when you cannot judge.
My allegiance shall be to House Geto, before all else.” 
Without hesitation, Suguru accepts. 
“Yu Haibara, you honor me with your allegiance. From here on out, I shall entrust you with my life. You shall become my brother in arms, my All-Seeing Advisor.”
Henceforth, Haibara shall no longer be shackled by the shadow of his father. His intelligence and blade shall be sharp, but with grace. It would be used for good—to protect. Just as Lord Shinjiro had done for him many years ago. 
Suguru will never be alone again. He will be his watcher. 
The day of the funeral processions commenced, Suguru did not shed a single tear and stood there, unmoving, like a soldier on guard. There was no anger, no sorrow, only a numbness accompanied by slight paranoia. Across the sea of mourners, he couldn’t help but try to discern who were the ones that were secretly rejoicing at his family’s demise, and who were genuinely mourning their deaths. 
Akito Haibara shamelessly pushed to the front, weeping on his knees like the fraud he was, loudly professing how beloved a friend Shinjiro had been. His acts were so grossly performative, that Haibara couldn’t stand another second, and waved to a guard to usher him away. And as they plucked Akito off the ground, he continued to hold steadfast onto his performance to the very end, wailing, sobbing, and calling out Shinjiro’s name. 
Don’t trust any of them. They all wanted your family dead. The thoughts wound through Suguru’s mind, threatening to corrupt like poisoned tendrils.
It was all too overwhelming. He just wanted this to be over soon.
How he managed to keep a blank face when King Sato approached him was beyond Suguru’s comprehension. Perhaps he had already disassociated. Nevertheless, it was something he would need to master if he wanted to exact his revenge.
And then, just for a fleeting moment, something unexpected happened.
His eyes found a father and daughter standing quietly at the far end of the crowd. If it hadn’t been for his naturally keen eyes, he might have missed it. But as soon as his eyes landed on you, the intrusive whispers vanished in an instant.
How strange. 
Though he didn’t know then how your fates would intertwine, and he would have long forgotten this moment by the time the two of you met again. At the time, he silently thanked you for giving him a moment of reprieve.
A chance to breathe again.
A year later… 
Shortly after the funeral, Haibara abandoned Akito overnight and began his new life serving under House Geto. During this time, Suguru and Haibara worked tirelessly to revitalize the Geto Estate, and vetted out loyal servants.
Their first political gamble had been successful; there had been no further assassination attempts since the funeral. Perhaps, it was Lord Shinjiro, Lady Sumire, and Sayuri’s way of watching over them. Whatever it may be, they had to stay vigilant. There was no room for complacency. 
It may surprise some that Suguru chose to remain on the very grounds where his family had been massacred. But for Haibara, who had been there from the beginning and had become a part of their family, he too, wouldn’t have abandoned this place. 
The Geto Estate was a sacred place that should be remembered and celebrated, not reduced to a haunted ground of tragedy. 
Of all that had been destroyed, the cherry blossom tree that Lord Shinjiro gifted to his beloved wife survived. That alone stood as a testament to their enduring legacy. 
One afternoon, a royal messenger came knocking on the front gates of the Geto Estate. 
“A letter to the kin of Akito Haibara,” the messenger said, handing the scroll to Haibara, who received it with both hands.
And as he returned to Suguru’s office and read its contents, he couldn’t help but let out an exasperated laugh. 
The universe truly had its strange sense of justice.
To the kin of Akito Haibara, It is the Royal Palace’s utmost regret to inform you that your father, Akito Haibara, has passed. According to the palace physician, he contracted multiple brothel illnesses and was found deceased in his estate. In light of this disgrace, His Majesty has seen fit to posthumously revoke your father’s title as Chief of Treasury. Furthermore, it has been decreed that his next of kin shall not be granted the privilege of serving within the palace. Akito’s ashes are currently held at the Royal Crematory Hall. Should they remain unclaimed within seven days’ time, they shall be discarded. House of Civil Affairs By Royal Decree of His Majesty, King Sato
“What’s so amusing?” Suguru asked, an eyebrow arched.
Haibara handed him the letter. As Suguru’s eyes trailed the words, he let out a scoff.
“What do you intend to do?” He passed the letter back.
Haibara shrugged and threw the parchment into the brazier. 
“Nothing.”
Life indeed worked in mysterious ways. For all the pain, suffering, and chaos that Akito Haibara had wrought, this quiet ending seemed the most befitting way for him to go. One where he would not be remembered, honored, or mourned… 
Reduced to nothing but dust, and blown away with time.
.
.
.
Present Day
Over the years, the two sailed through turbulent waves, and faced countless trials and tribulations. But through it all, their bond remained strong. It goes without saying that Haibara would lay down his life for Suguru without hesitation. Yet it’d also be a lie to say that there weren’t moments of doubt.
Was their path to vengeance reasonable? 
Would they ever succeed?
It had been exactly ten years since they began working within the shadows—trying to find an opportunity to overthrow King Sato. Still, there was a final piece missing. Haibara could see that Suguru was growing impatient. But something had shifted lately—an undercurrent in the air, as if revolution was nigh.
Suguru didn’t need many allies, but he needed someone who was powerful in their own right. Someone who would not bow down to the crown so easily. Someone who will not cower in fear. Someone who could turn the tides of war.
Someone like you.
Haibara let out a small sigh as he glanced toward the palace courtyard. A few servant girls passing by giggled and waved. He returned his signature smile and politely nodded, garnering timid gasps and gushes. Even amid the beauty, unease still churned quietly within him. Suguru may have successfully evaded a war, but the chasm between you and him had only widened.
It was going to be a long road ahead. He feared that the path to reconciliation would not be an easy one. But it was during these trying times that it was Haibara’s time to shine. 
He had full confidence that you, Lady Geto, would not crumble so easily. And that Suguru will make things right—he always had. 
And as the All-Seeing Advisor, whose allegiance is to House Geto, Haibara will not falter. Suguru may not have realized it yet, but Haibara knew from the very beginning: you were his perfect match. He had known it since the day you stepped off the carriage and took your first steps through the front doors of the Geto Estate. The way you were nervous, but your eyes still glimmered with hope. The way you remained dignified and determined, even in the face of injustice and obstacles. The way you were strong and intelligent, but used it to protect and not to gain. 
Courageous. Honorable. Indomitable. 
They were all qualities that House Geto represented. There was no doubt that Lord Shinjiro, Lady Sumire, and Sayuri would have welcomed you with open arms, adoring you as their own.
Haibara may serve as Suguru’s right hand until the day he dies, but his loyalty had always begun with Lady Sumire.
The woman who showed him safety.
The woman who showed him kindness.
The woman who showed him unconditional love.
The woman who helped him realize…
It’s not your fault, Yu.
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Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.
Taglist: @katsukiseyebrows @uzuimirika @saoirses-things @what-just-happened-to-me @exitingmusic @vellichor01 @miacakess @webyueve
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patchw0rks · 3 days ago
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Ok, reread of scum villain vol. 2 has been accomplished. Here are my thoughts and just things I wanted to note down (disclaimer: make sure to read these knowing the important context that liushen is my favorite ship lol)
I can't get over the Shen-Mu-Liu trio. Those are SQQ's BOYS and watching them interact is very fun. I also love that Mu Qingfang is medicine-pilled in the way that Shen Qingqiu is monster-pilled. Little did we know LQG is actually the most normal of the three
Shen "im just here to cause problems" Qingqiu saying "I know to get my way all i have to do is bat my pretty eyelashes at YQY and he will fold like a house of cards"
SQQ basically telling LQG that he's so strong so he must row the boat, and LQG is just absolutely FUMING because of how attracted he is to SQQ
SQQ referring to LQG as gege ah my heart
More of SQQ causing problems by trying stick Yang Yixuan onto LQG, which I love because you KNOW that in his grief post-Hua Yue City LQG went "fucking WATCH me"
Ngl I've read enough fanfic to realize that people don't really capture LQG's full personality. The usually make him so shy and tsundere that he's barely able to get a word in (Lan Zhan gets similar treatment) but no, he's just as catty as the rest of them
I need to figure out the timeline of how long Shen Yuan had been reading PIDW, it's endlessly important to me
LQG and MQF being like "our beloved little shixiong, please don't fret your pretty little head, just sit there and relax"
There really is some excellent physical comedy in SVSSS, like when SQQ is confronted by LBH and just defenestrates himself. You know that one scene in Angel Beats? Yeah it's exactly that
Qi Qingqi's eyebrows have now been brought up for a second time and it screams gender envy to me. Why are you as a "cis man" admiring a women's eyebrows so thoughtfully? So much to where it's the first thing you bring up about her appearance?
"Why?! Why were two grown men neurotically discussing a pice of clothing while surrounded by staring eyes?" never change Shen Yuan
I'm actually such a simp for Liu Qingge, i'm literally highlighting every mention of him and every word he speaks. I did not appreciate the Liuber my first time reading. He's also so incredibly tsundere "huff puff i can't believe you can't even ride your sword...get on"
Ugh I actually cried while reading the big confrontation. This did not happen my first read, but man it just got me. Also the very subtle POV switch that happens so we don't get any insight into SQQ's thoughts as he prepares to self-detonate
Mushroom Shen Qingqiu!!!! My Beloved!!!!!!! Def one of my favorite parts of the whole series. I think there are so many ways to play around with this character (hence my AU) but also there's this degree of freedom about it where even his internal dialogue is much more loose and less concerned with acting the part
Oh my...he referenced the succubus adventure...
Im sorry how did I completely black out the scene of LQG and SQQ playing hot potato with his corpse?!!?! Remember what I said about physical comedy!!
"Even a few hours ago, he genuinely wouldn't have cared where others (especially those of the same sex) touched him. They could touch wherever they liked, please go ahead" -- Things only said by straight who are 100% comfortable in their sexuality. Yeah. Totally
There are still good moments of seeing SQQ's dissociating himself from the events of the series and just treating everything and everyone as if it weren't "real," and how these thought patterns shift. Once again I think this would be a very fun thing to play around with and explore more
LIU QINGGE!!!! STOP MAKING ME SAD!!!!!!!! HE YEARNS SO MUCH
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flawlessflesh · 3 days ago
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i've always felt constrained and confused by fandom where everything is shipping focused - it is difficult to find meta or works which aren't filtered through the lens of inevitable romance. i have more success with characters who don't have easy/widely-appealing Shipping Prospects, such as thistle or like, a fromsoft character with 10 lines who then dies LOL
i don't know if it's my irl indifference leeching through, but romance is not any more interesting or important than other relationships. because romance is not particularly notable in my worldview, i am alienated by fandom's focus on shipping and true love, and i am irritated when it feels like people are only capable of interpreting my work through it.
i understand shipping as a shorthand. i've tried in the past to fit my interests into it, but it just felt like people were misunderstanding me because of a '/' between two names, and like i was mimicking behavior i observed rather than felt. i think it's a matter of intent. i am interested in stories which explore romance/sex (some of my favorite movies/books do!), but i am rarely interested in Shipping as a function of fandom. maybe it's because of how characters are placed into well-used templates to serve the ship? or how any interaction must mean a romance that can't be challenged? the character becomes unrecognizable to me - the ship has replaced them.
i've been in fandoms for almost twenty years and i still don't get it! so i gave uppppp
all of this is to say that i am trying to find a ground where i can write stories that matter to me about topics like incest or abuse, which are treated in wider fandom as either radioactive OR only titillating. extremely reductive and limiting. so i am thankful that followers/friends appreciate my stories - if i didn't care, i wouldn't be sharing anything online.
(this is my experience, i am not telling others what they should feel or do. i do not care about that...)
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jynxeddraca · 2 days ago
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So I have the DLC for Date Everything and interacting with Michael (micro transactions) you can learn that objects can in fact have kids. That pops up in the second conversation you have with him.
And, well, it got me thinking, because Eddie and Volt have fucking consumed my brain even though I have not finished a playthrough of them staying with the homeowner after they're Realized and all the domestic stuff that goes with that:
Learning how to be human with their favorite human.
Starting a bar in downtown Coolsville.
Getting the player pregnant whether by surprise or not and completely doting on them.
Bonus if they end up conceiving in the new bar.
Calling their kids "little wires" because I see them agreeing it's only fair they each get a turn knocking up the player (with permission of course).
Volt and the player teasing Eddie that he's not the only one who can create life when babies happen.
I also see Sam and Tinfoil Hat helping all the dateables get documents so they can live free once realized (again, have not finished the game, no idea what happens after).
Sam wants to meet the dateables so bad.
She fully teases player character about romancing the breaker box and getting two guys out of it.
She shows up the morning after Eddie and Volt are realized to make fake IDs and is just like "oh. Yeah you're gonna be pregnant so fucking fast."
Sam's a little jealous. But I bet she fully goes heart eyes at at least one of the dateables.
I'm a tiny bit drunk so I'm leaving this here and maybe will add on to it later.
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namnamling · 21 hours ago
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SPOILERS FOR S3 UNDER THE CUT!!
me and my friend had just finished watching episode 4, so we aren’t done yet and don’t know the finale!!
since nam-gyu’s character arc is now finished, i can talk about him more. it was REALLY unexpected to me seeing how he teamed up with myung-gi, since mg was his like archenemy or something.
loved the interaction between him and min-su before the hide and seek game. it really sets the dynamic nam-gyu thinks he has with min-su, but when we see min-su’s pov later… damn. i will make sure to talk about him in a bit too.
the whole thing with nam-gyu walking around with mg and killing randoms (and not) was kinda funny because of how high nam-gyu was. he literally BECAME thanos. despite him going on a rant about how terrible thanos was to him, never learnt his name (loved how nam-gyu emphasized it lol), nam-gyu was acting just as i imagine thanos would, especially with switching to english randomly and being all hyperactive. this is how i imagine thanos would act in this game if he was alive…
BUT.
from my perspective, this is the thing that differentiates nam-gyu from thanos: violence. nam-gyu is VIOLENT. he knows who he is killing, it’s not just a blur, as it possibly was in the bathroom fight. yes, he’s on drugs. but he is aware. if i had to imagine thanos being on the red team, along side with nam-gyu, things would go very differently.
look, thanos is smart with his pills. he knows how much to take and when. he had more than enough to survive throughout the games (and this is if we are counting him sharing with nam-gyu). nam-gyu isn’t the same. his addiction goes much faster. he took as much as he possibly could at the time. nam-gyu doesn’t know when to stop. of course, it’s a way of coping with everything that is happening around, but either way… well, we know how it turned out.
(also he looks like jeff the killer in some scenes lol)
thanos would maybe kill one or two, he may probably share a kill with nam-gyu and they would have fun finding the exit. think of this as a dangerous date if you want to. xD
min-su… oh, i have so much to say about him. i didn’t know how i feel towards him when i watched s2. like, yeah, he was there, he was shy, and then he was kinda involved in killing of se-mi (i’m not saying it’s his fault!! he at least tried to do something and wasn’t just watching from the above). BUT NOW OH BOY
when i saw him taking the cross and trying the pills, i was shocked. like, i literally didn’t expect this to happen. BUT AM I GLAD IT DID??? ABSOLUTELY. it shouldn’t be funny, because for him it was a bad trip, but the way he would just stand at the door frame and stare when asking where se-mi is, because he KNOWS he has some responsibility… i even made a sketch of it lol
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when he was killing shaman lady (which i’m honestly sad about, i started liking her during this game) and seeing nam-gyu telling him all the bad things instead of her… wow, just wow. and dead se-mi after that? damn, this scene might be one of my favorites now in the whole show. i’m glad we had a chance to really see his character and the struggles he was going through.
watching nam-guy struggling when he realized he lost the cross and then the pills wearing off was very interesting to me. seeing how he would go from someone so energetic to a miserable guy (which he probably actually is) who only wants something that would let him feel self worth (relationship with thanos, pills, you name it) made an impression on me. he almost acted like a dog when he saw the cross in min-su’s hand and then proceeded to cross (no pun intended) the railway to get it… now min-su was the leading one in their “relationship”, not nam-gyu. loved it.
i also did this meme lol that’s how the whole situation felt
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once again, i’m not done with the show YET. i will be tomorrow. now i only see min-su struggling after taking in drugs and him being a finalist (didn’t expect that actually! i was thinking all that time that he would die with nam-gyu, kinda like mi-nyeo and deok-su did.
anyway… i love s3. they made s2 very colorful, like you don’t have to worry that much about anything (+ characters like thanos made it seem like everything wasn’t a big deal), but then, after the bathroom fight, s2 becomes darker, and s3 is DARK AS FUCK. LIKE LOOK AT GI-HUN!!!
so, in conclusion, i’m happy with how this is going. and also, since nam-gyu is dead now, he and thanos can be together forever <3 my thangyu heart is so happy now!!! i want to see thanos scolding nam-gyu about messing up with drugs AND involving his boy min-su into this!!! >:(
thanks for reading all that!
the only thing that made me angry is 100 being the finalist… >:( i actually thought he would die in the jump rope
again, thanks for reading! <3
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nexartbox · 4 months ago
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in honor of soda saying it would be really funny if vinestaff's favorite type of music was metal transcript under the cut:
Panel 1: at katana's place Vinestaff: ah, sorry those are mine Hyperlaser: graft heads? i was really into them in my younger days Vinestaff: YOU'RE into GRAFT HEADS?? Katana: apologies for the wait, hyper- Vinestaff: personalUFO? Hyperlaser: eh, never got into them Vinestaff: really?? they have some of the best! okok, shark launcher island? Hyperlaser: oof, that brings me back Vinestaff: yes! what's your favorite album? Hyperlaser: hard to choose...all of them are pretty good
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jojaxcola · 6 months ago
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post-wipeout patch up on a tuesday afternoon (embarrassing) [electric guitar]
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technikki · 8 months ago
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this balloon smp bit with holly and val has been plaguing my mind for days
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alienaliart · 4 months ago
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Some drawings that I made for the fanfic "Off Balance" by @mrslittletall 🩵 Read it here
I can't recommend it enough, I'm obsessed!
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k-0re · 9 months ago
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Comm for @insomniyuuh that I forgot to post 😓
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reallilystuff · 4 months ago
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went on roblox free draw for the first time in like four years and immediately went to WORK
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i'll probably redraw this in ibispaint someday but for now i am TOO LAZY!!!!!
+bonus closeup for funsies
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eggbem · 29 days ago
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Lotus and Venus! (by @truths33k3r4 and @bowandbrush respectively)
Sketch under the cut
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boxheadpaint · 4 months ago
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I just need to know is that Cackletta paired with Peach? If so, fascinating, I wish to know more - if not, I entirely understand the coincidence of two people standing next to each other in a dynamic does not equate to them being A Pairing
yeas
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Reasoning: funny
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player016 · 3 months ago
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Another gorgeous parallel between Gihun and Noeul—
In s2e2, Gihun calls Gayeong on the phone, presumably to hear her voice one last time before he goes back to face the games and near certain death.
Immediately after this scene we see Noeul calling the number on her invitation and burning the drawing Nayeon gave her.
Both characters are on the phone; both characters are symbolically releasing something. Gihun, his chance of coming back alive and being part of Gayeong’s life, being the father he wanted to be; Noeul, nearly all human connection.
Both scenes, to me, draw attention to the grief of losing a daughter.
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pokemonblack3white3 · 16 days ago
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New au where iris Drayton and Kieran are the three shittiest scientists in the. the mad scientist lab idk
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malachite834 · 4 months ago
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Aggron Day has finally arrived 👀 Decided to celebrate by drawing Cupric alongside @castrodour's Aggro! Seems like they're a big fan of him, too :3
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