#my wig ok here you go

[zaynfag]

it’s tuesday

[arsenicflame]

.... i guess if you want something done, you have to do it yourself

when will someone pick izzy up bridal style and spin him around? hm?

[missbellamere]

Vi x Male Reader SMUT

--

pairing: vi x male reader

tw: writing that's way too amazing and realistic

--

"bro wtf are you a man?" Vi said with a disgusted face.

you nod like the good boy that you are.

"ew bro I'm not into men." Vi said.

but you're desperate, you're an incel, you definitely can't pull anyone and you peaked in elementary when you were the fastest racer. this is your first and possibly only interaction with a woman.

"wait vi don't go!" You plead. "i'll tell riot to bring vander back to life, and not kill him immediately after! please I'll invest in stocks, I'm literally a stereotypical straight man!"

vi looked disgusted but thought about it for a second.

"ok fine." she said. "but you have to wear this blue wig, 4 inch boots, speak with a british accent, and magically become 6'1."

you did those things and she side eyed you HARD.

"never mind. this is so cursed and I'd rather date a mongoose. the actual animal."

vi then left you for caitlyn

a/n: don't need to remind me I'm the most amazing x male reader writer in all of tumblr

seriously... all of the non-satirical vi/caitlyn x male reader writers are SO BAD. it's pretty obvious that I'm not trying here but they actually try... and it's so terrible. the syntax, writing structure, and aesthetics are deplorable. hope yall enjoyed this cuz I thought it'd be funny to shit post

also is it kinda bad that this is my first ever Tumblr post

-from me, bellamere, who is NOT a straight male

[hughes-your-daddy]

showing up

pairing: hughes brothers x hughes sister reader x trevor zegras

summary: you make your broadway debut but three people are missing

finally, you’re debut of elle woods in legally blonde on broadway. you take a deep breath hearing the orchestra play the final number, ready for curtain call. you had friends and family in the audience tonight and now was the first time you would be able to see them after the show.

you hear your cue from the stage manager, before running onto the stage right front and centre hearing the audience cheer and clap. you scan the crowd spotting your mom and dad next to trevor, you burst out into a grin before noticing the three empty seats next to them.

your smile drops for a millisecond before remembering you’re in front of a crowd before you take your bow, motioning for the rest of the cast to join you in a group now before heading off stage, waving to the audience.

you make your way quickly to your dressing room trying to hold back the tears, before slamming shut the door. you can’t help but let the tears fall, mostly out of sadness but a little it out of anger. you always showed up to their events, matches, ceremonies yet they didn’t even bother showing up for your broadway debut, one night out of their whole life, that’s all you asked for.

you quickly wipe your tears, realising your still in costume and makeup before, slipping off your clothes and hanging them up. quickly slipping on some sweats and a hoodie, you sit at your vanity and quickly remove your makeup before heading down to wigs.

giving a quick smile to your wig technician, you let them take out the pins, removing your wig and mice pack before sending you off for the night.

you head back up to your dressing room, some of your friends saying congrats as you go by. you quickly pack up your stuff and slip on a coat and a woolly hat, before sliding on your backpack and heading out to see everyone.

you sign out at stage door before exiting seeing a crowd of people, who cheer at the sight of you. it brings back some happiness for you as you go along the barrier taking some pictures and signing play bills before your spot your family and trevor.

security let them pass to be with you, trevor coming over to you straight away.

“you were incredible baby.” he whispers, before he pulls away, pressing a quick kiss to your lips and holding out a bouquet of flowers for you.

“thank you.” you smile at him but by the look on his face, he knows exactly what your thinking.

“oh my little girl.” ellen coos, pulling you in for a hug followed by jim.

“hi mom, dad.” you smile, your dad holding on a bit longer.

“they wished they could have been here.” he whispers before you pull away.

“i don’t wanna talk about them.” you say, looking down before security usher you all into a cab to head back to your apartment.

“y/n honey.” ellen starts, “i booked a restaurant tonight, but would you rather us maybe get takeout?” she asks, you look up at her from your flowers sending her a small smile.

“i’m sorry.” you say tearing up. trevor’s arm tightens around your shoulders, a few silent tears falling.

“don’t be sorry sweetie, we’re so proud of you ok? i think takeout would be perfect.” jim says, a small smile appearing on your face.

“yeh, takeout sounds good.” you say giving a sad laugh.

you get to your apartment complex and jump out the cab, trevor grabbing your bag before heading up. you unlock your apartment, heading inside and dropping everything by the door. they had already dropped all their stuff off at your apartment since they were staying with you so everyone went off to get changed.

you lead trevor into your room, flopping onto the bed with a massive sigh. trevor moves across the room quickly stripping of his shirt and trousers, pulling on some sweats and a training camp tshirt, before flopping down beside you.

“you really were incredible tonight, can’t believe my baby is a broadway actress.” trevor smiles, leaning on his elbow, his other hand brushing his thumb along your cheek.

“thank you for coming.” you sigh, rolling over to bury your face in his chest. he falls back, cradling the back of your hair. yous lay like that for a few minutes, grounding each other before you pull yourself up, looking trevor in the eyes.

“why didn’t they come?” you ask and he looks at you, trying to find some words, “you don’t know.” you nod, getting up, but not moving far before a hand on your wrist stops you.

“hey baby, come here.” trevor calls, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling you to stand between his legs, his hands wresting on his waist. your arms move to link together behind his neck, fingers messing with the hair at the bottom of his neck.

“baby, look at me.” he taps your waist, causing you to life your eyes up to meet his.

“all i know is that they couldn’t get away from their schedules, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you ok?” he says and you can’t find a response.

“i drop everything for them.” you quietly let out, before breaking out into tears. trevor pulls you onto his lap, rubbing circles on your back as you cry into his shoulder.

“shh, y/n, breathe for me baby.” he soothes, gently swaying you. your cries dim down to sniffles when you pull away wiping your nose, trevor’s hand coming up to wipe your cheeks.

“now give me a smile pretty girl, it’s your debut.” trevor smiles, pressing his forehead to yours, a small laugh coming out. “how about we head out, order some takeout and watch a film yeh?” he asks and you nod, getting off his lap, before wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath.

you lead him out to the living room where your parents are waiting, changed into some comfier clothes. you settle next to your mom, tucking your legs under yourself, before trevor sits next to you, arm going around your shoulders.

your dad orders the takeout, just some chinese food from a local restaurant and turning on some random film, which you end up falling asleep during, considering how tired from the show you are.

the next morning, you wake up, wrapped in trevor’s arms who’s still asleep. checking the time you see you can lounge for a little longer before having to get ready and head to the theatre.

you turn around cuddling into trevor’s chest, the movement waking him up.

“mmh, morning baby.” he says, morning voice in full effect.

“morning.” you smile, seeing his eyes flutter open and meet yours. he leans down giving you a soft kiss before pulling away and flipping yous over, so he’s on top of you.

“look whos clingy today.” you laugh, feeling him smile into your neck.

“well i’m gonna be lonely today until i see you tonight.” he mumbles, pulling his head out of your neck to rest in between your breasts.

“you have tickets for tonight right?” you ask, seeing as he booked as many nights as possible until he has to head back to anaheim.

“yes ma’am, what can i say? i’m your biggest fan.” he smiles, kissing up your neck to meet yours lips once again, pressing deeper this time for a minute before you pull away.

“as much as i love this, and you. i need to get ready.” you sigh, trevor rolling off of you to let you go.

you quickly shower, throwing on some workout leggings and one of trevor’s hoodies before packing your bag for the day including snacks and your massive water bottle.

trevor follows, also getting ready as he’s gonna explore the city whilst your gone. you walk hand in hand to the theatre, giving him all the secret food spots you love found the past couple of months living here. you get to the theatre going round the back to stage door, before he pulls you into a hug.

“i love you, good luck for tonight yeh?” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your head before your lips.

“mmh, i love you. i’ll see you later.” you smile before signing in for the day.

it’s a pretty usual day, apart from receiving some gifts for your opening night, going through vocal and physical warmups before heading for some private singing sessions.

you also do some press for the show, making some videos and tiktok’s to be uploaded before it rolls around to 5pm, meaning it’s time to get ready.

you do your wig prep, putting in pin curls and securing your wig cap before starting makeup. you make sure to powder the hell out of your base, as it was nearly coming off yesterday before finishing by with some setting spray and heading down to wigs.

they add the mic pack to your wig cap, securing the mic on your forehead before placing on the iconic blonde elle woods wig. you thank the team before heading up and getting in costume.

you continue doing some vocal warmups once in costume before hearing the beginners call, heading to stage ready for your entrance.

the show went great, possibly even better than yesterday and for the second time you’re waiting side of stage for your cue to go on for bows. you smile knowing trevor’s waiting out the for you and run on at the stage managers cue.

you smile, instantly seeing trevor in the front row, right in the middle, sending him a little wave before bowing, and motioning for the cast to join you.

that’s when you notice it.

jack, luke and quinn, sat alongside next to him. you bow as normal, not letting the audience notice your shift in emotion and head off stage once again to your dressing room.

what the fuck? showing up a day late to the biggest day of your life, it would have been better if they had just stayed home.

you do your normal routine, costume off and into comfy clothes, makeup off and wig off before going back up to your dressing room to grab your stuff to head out.

you push open your door, just to freeze in place. your three brothers stood waiting.

“y/n you were once-“ quinn starts but you stop him.

“no, no. you don’t get to just show up here after you promised you’d be here for my debut.” you say looking between each one, seeing their faces drop.

“we’re really sorry, we got caught up in new jersey.” jack says, looking down feeling very guilty.

“doing what?” you ask, crossing your arms, waiting for a reply from one of them.

“playing hockey?” luke says hesitantly, before you scoff, pushing past them to grab your stuff.

“it’s always hockey.” you say, throwing stuff into your bag, “hockey this, hockey that, hockey all the fucking time.” you shout before you give up leaning on your desk, tears falling.

“bugs, come here-“ quinn starts again and you just snap.

“stop it.” you shout turning around and pushing his hand away from your shoulder.

“you don’t get to do this,” you start, wiping your cheeks before looking at each of them, “i drop everything for you guys. i come to games, award shows, hell, i even moved my birthday because it fell on your draft jack.” you bitterly let out, watching each of them look at the ground.

“i asked for one night, that’s all. i couldn’t care if you jetted back off to wherever you need to be afterwards, i just asked for you to come see me perform, and you’d can’t even do that?” you asks, seeing luke look up, tears in own eyes.

“i love you guys yeh? your my brothers, but it makes me feel real shitty when you’re missing this stuff. to see three empty seats in the theatre when you were supposed to be there. yous didn’t even message.” you say, your voice wavering as you give up being angry at them, the sadness hits you.

“y/n im so sorry, we’re really sorry.” luke fumbles before crashing into your body, hearing him let out soft cries on your shoulder.

you freeze for a minute before wrapping your arms around your younger brother, realising how guilty he feels.

“i’m really sorry.” he keeps repeating, as you hear his breathing pick up.

“hey lukey, you gotta breathe for me.” you say softly, feeling his breathing start to match yours. you always felt closest to luke even though you were furthest away in age, being born in between quinn and jack. when he was born you instantly felt the need to protect him, from the horror of the world. now seeing him like this, you begin to feel like you were too harsh on him.

“i’m sorry, for saying that-“ you start, quinn cutting you off this time.

“no,” you hear him sniffle himself, “no apologies, what you said was true, we haven’t been here for you like we should have.” quinn says, luke pulling away to look at you.

“yeh, quinn’s right. w-we should have been here.” he says, still catching his breath. you look between him and quinn seeing the guilt in their faces, before noticing that jack hadn’t said anything.

you look over to him, seeing his head down low.

“jack? are you ok?” you ask hesitantly, seeing him lift his head up, eyes red.

“you don’t hate us do you?” he says quietly and you quickly move over to hug him tight.

“i could never, as much as yous annoy me,” you let out a small laugh, the others doing so as well, “but that doesn’t mean i’m not upset.” you say pulling away and wiping a tray tear from his cheek.

“you have every right.” jack says a sad smile on his face. you send him one back before turning to look at quinn, seeing him hands in his pockets not sure as to what to do.

“come here.” you laugh, opening your arms for quinn to hug you.

“you really were incredible,” he whispers, tightening the hug, “can’t believe my little sisters a broadway star.” he smiles, causing you to pull away and laugh.

“hey, you guys better watch out, yous aren’t the only superstars now,” you smile, the others laughing, “how about, we head back to mine and have a movie night yeh?” you ask, arm still around quinn’s shoulder.

“oh, we got you this.” quinn quickly says moving out of your hold to grab a small gift bag. you take it from him, revealing a small box.

“we each got a gift from mom and dad on our draft days. you know, me cufflinks, jack watch and luke suit. so we wanted to get you a little something.” quinn explains watching you open it to see a small necklace, a small diamond in the middle.

“wow, this is really sweet you guys.” you smile, before luke butts in.

“flip it over.” he says excitedly, you shoot him a confused look before doing as told, seeing ‘Q,J+L’ engraved on the back.

you hold back happy tears, smiling “i love, really.” you say before pulling them in for a group hug.

“but really now, we should head home, i’m so tired.” you break the hug.

they nod, luke grabbing your backpack before you make your way out, deciding to skip stage door today and head straight home.

the car ride was filled with all three of them gushing over every part of the show, before pulling up to your apartment.

you walk inside dropping your stuff at the door seeing trevor stood at the kitchen island, opening boxes of pizza.

you smile walking over, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“hiya baby.” he smiles, arms wrapping around your back, “incredible as always baby.” he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head before you look up resting your chin on his chest.

“i’m gonna head to bed, i think you need this night with your brothers.” he whispers, thumbs gently rubbing up and down your back.

“thank you.” you whisper back, kissing him on the lips this time.

“i’ll be there whenever you’re ready ok?” he asks before grabbing his stuff and retreating to your room.

“pizza and movie?” you ask them, the three nodding with smiles. they quickly head off to get changed, while you take the pizzas over to the living room and setting up the tv.

they all come out, dressed in sweats and hoodies, joining you on the sofa. luke immediately joins you at your side, quinn on the other while jack lays next to luke.

luke’s head falls onto your shoulder as you feel the emotional exhaustion that he’s going through.

you bring up an arm pulling him in around his shoulders, feeling him finally relax it seems.

“i’m not angry, i promise.” you say, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“i know, i just feel guilty, it’s horrible.” he mumbles, looking down.

“i know.” you say, resting your head on top of his.

yous end up watching some disney film, completely destroying all the pizzas. luke quickly falls asleep, understandably after the last couple of hours he’s had. once the movies finished, you notice quinn has also fallen asleep, so you check jack who quickly heads to the kitchen when you look at him.

your brows furrow as you carefully peel yourself away from the other two to follow jack. you walk in seeing him leaning his hands against the counter, head down.

“jack?” you say gently, seeing him quickly look over his shoulder before turning back, wiping his face.

“oh hey bugs, just um, getting a drink.” he fumbles, looking for a glass before you stop him, hand in his wrist.

“jack, tell me what’s wrong.” you say stern but softly, causing him to turn and look at you, eyes red raw, most likely from crying and rubbing them.

“i just,” he starts taking a breath, “i feel like i failed as a brother. you know, you’re my older sister, i’ve looked up to you my whole life yet, i-i feel like i’ve been the most horrendous brother.” he breaks down right infront of you.

you immediately take him in your arms, his sobs breaking the silence through the apartment. you cradle the back of his head with one hand, the other bobbing his back as he bends down to your small figure, burying his face in your neck.

“you didn’t fail me jack, i promise.” you say, taking a minute to ground yourself before speaking, “do you know how proud i am of you?” you ask, pulling him up to look at you.

“everything you do, i couldn’t be more proud of jack and that tells me i did my job as an older sister,” you smile seeing a small appear of him face, “sure i was upset you didn’t come yesterday, but you came to see me today,” you smile, wiping his cheeks with your hoodie sleeve, “and trust me, i am very lucky to have three brothers who would do that for me.” you say, jack taking a deep breath.

“and you know how i know that you didn’t fail?” you ask and he shrugs pushing his hair back out of his face, “because you feel like this.” you say and he lets out a small laugh.

“it’s true, if yous didn’t feel guilty or sad then id know you didn’t really care but i can see that you do care, probably a little too much.” you smile, causing him to hug you again.

“we really love you y/n.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“i love you guys too,” you smile, before untangling yourself from his arms, “but we need to blow up some beds for you guys cause mom and dad are already set up in the guest room.” you say, him nodding before following you.

he wipers his face one more time as you make it to the living room, seeing quinn stacking pizza boxes, luke laying across the couch still asleep with a blanket tucked around him.

“he’s out like a light huh?” you say, moving across to brush some curls out his face.

“thought it would be best to leave him to sleep, energise a bit for tomorrow.” quinn smiles, pulling you into a hug.

“what’s tomorrow?” you ask, moving your head to look up at him.

“i’ve booked us a full day of activities as it’s your off day tomorrow.” quinn smiles, kissing your forehead before moving to put the pizza boxes in the trash.

you move across the living room, pulling out a double blow up bed, setting the small air pump to work seeing it work.

“i’m gonna make some tea, you want any?” you ask, jack shaking his head no, before you move back through to the kitchen, seeing quinn already standing, stirring some tea.

“hiya bugs.” he smiles, taking out the spoon and holding the mug out to you. you take it with a small smile, leaning back against the counter.

“you feel guilty.” quinn says, sitting on the counter opposite you, pushing his hands into his hoodie pocket, hood up.

“yeh a little, both my younger brothers have broken down in my arms because of what i said.” you state plainly, taking a sip to break eye contact with quinn.

“it’s fine to feel guilty, but every word you said was very much justified.” quinn nods, as you feel tears spring back to your eyes.

“i didn’t even give yous a chance to explain though, like what if yous had a legitimate reason to not be here and i just exploded on yous.” you say, placing your mug down to wipe some fallen tears from your face.

“if you really want to know,” quinn says jumping down from the counter. “i flew in to newark to meet jack and luke, who hadn’t told me they were playing a match, because they forgot to speak to their coach. i didn’t come by myself because they were my ride over here.” quinn says, pulling you into his chest, “we’re all equally to blame, i could gotten the train or a taxi but i didn’t because i was being selfish, too tired from the flight.” quinn simply says as you hear him sniffle.

“i’m just glad yous are here now.” you say looking up to see some fallen tears on his face.

“me too bugs.” he smiles, kissing the top of your head again before pulling away, “but if i remember correctly, you have your boyfriend waiting oh so patiently for you to go to bed.” quinn laughs, as you pull away to pick up your mug.

“goodnight quinny.” you smile before leaving to say goodnight to jack and luke, who’s now half awake.

“hey, breakfast on me in the morning. i know a really good spot.” you smile pulling out tons of blankets and pillows for them to use.

“goodnight, love yous.” you smile as they return it before heading through to your bedroom.

you walk in seeing greys playing quietly on the tv, trevor asleep with a book laying on his chest. you smile, quickly placing your mug on the small cabinet beside your bed before walking around to his side, grabbing the remote to turn the tv off before sliding in a bookmark into his book and placing it on the cabinet beside him.

you move back around to your side of the bed, quickly stripping your clothes, leaving you in your underwear before slipping under the covers.

you cuddle up to trevor, feel him stir awake slightly

“it’s just me baby.” you whisper seeing his eyes flutter open.

“mmh, i was tryna stay awake for you.” he mumbles, pulling you closer, arms tightening around your waist.

“it’s alright.” you smile, pressing a kiss to his chest.

“how’d it go with them?” he asks, gently moving his hands up and down your back.

“good, we’re all good.” you smile, before he presses a kiss to your lips, your arms snaking around his neck.

“i love you.” he smiles into the kiss.

“i love you too.”

[daxisyzz]

⁺‧˚ ⋆ 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐥 | 𝒃𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔 ⋆ ˚‧⁺

𝐄𝐩. 𝐈: 𝐀 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Pairings: ceo!boss!bucky barnes × fem!reader

Other characters: bestfriend!Natasha romanoff

Contents: fake dating, chaotic relationship dynamic, workplace romance, contract relationship.

Summary: To help your best friend dodge an arranged blind date, you go in her place, prepared to sabotage it. But when your date turns out to be James Buchanan Barnes—your cold, terrifying CEO—your entire world turns upside down. Instead of being horrified by your over-the-top antics, Bucky leans back and smirks, saying, “You’ll do.”

Word count: 1k+

Series masterlist Next episode

Inspired by the kdrama "Business Proposal"

"I'm not sure." You glance toward your friend, Natasha, with an almost hesitant look.

"Come on, [Name], just this once," she urges.

The idea Natasha presents sounds ridiculous—who would pose as their best friend on a blind date just to scare away a guy? This isn’t a normal day by any means.

"Nat, I love you, a lot actually, but this is just crazy," you protest.

"What are you saying? It's going to be so damn funny watching the horror on his face," Natasha snickers.

"Please save me from going on this date. My dad won’t listen to me," she begs.

You raise an eyebrow. "You can’t just tell him no?"

She groans, running a hand down her face. "I have. He doesn’t care. He thinks this guy is my perfect match and keeps setting up these ridiculous dates. If I back out, he’ll just schedule another one. You’re my only hope."

Your lip twitches slightly upward. The idea of acting completely unhinged to scare away her blind date suddenly doesn’t seem too bad.

"What do I get out of this?" You narrow your eyes at her.

"You’ll be helping out your girl.. ok I'll take you out for shopping." She offers.

"Um… I'll think about it."

That’s how you end up here, in a high-end restaurant, dressed in your “only for special occasions” outfit, complete with a red wig and outrageously heavy makeup, transforming you into the character of a ridiculous script. You’re busy typing updates to Natasha on your phone when someone calls out her name.

Standing behind you is a six-foot Adonis of a man, clad in a tailored suit that screams elegance—the grandson of the man you work for. As just announced, you are now in front of your new CEO, James Buchanan Barnes.

Your entire body freezes. The words and plans you meticulously crafted vanish from your mind. I'm gonna lose my job, goes through your mind.

"Ms. Romanoff, it's nice to meet you," he says, extending his hand. You hesitantly shake it.

"Please, sit," he adds, and you take your seat, feeling the awkward tension rise.

This can’t be happening. You spent years climbing the ranks at this company, staying late, working through weekends, proving yourself. And now, all of that is about to go up in flames because of one stupid favor.

Bucky sits down, already planning how to end this date as fast as possible. He has no intention of dating anyone—he’s focused on steering the company in a new direction now that he’s CEO. His grandfather forced him into this blind date, determined to see his only grandson married and settled. He can't turn down his grandfather's wishes; he loves him, after all. So here he is, glancing at his watch and counting the minutes until an appropriate time to leave.

You blink in disbelief. Natasha better be the most grateful person in the world for this.

"I'm going to get to the point, Ms. Romanoff—" Bucky begins, but you interrupt him.

"Nuh-uh, I gotta take this call, Mr. Barnes," you declare, slipping away before he can say another word.

The moment you step away, you put on your most sickly-sweet voice. "Heyy! Boo, how’s my baby doing?" You practically purr into the phone, glancing at Bucky to gauge his reaction. Nothing. Not even an eye twitch.

Time to up the act.

"You know I can’t keep my hands off you," you coo, adding a breathy giggle for good measure. "Last night was insane."

Bucky rubs his temples. You swear you see his jaw flex slightly. A reaction. Finally.

You return to the table with a smug little smirk, twirling your hair as you eye him up and down, intent on making him uncomfortable.

"That was one of the guys on my roster—so, where were we?" you purr, a hint of manic glee slipping into your tone.

Bucky starts to speak, but you abruptly turn and call for the waiter to order some food. You sip on an expensive drink that’s been presented to you, checking over your manicure.

"Honestly, Bucky, do you ever get tired of being so proper?" you snap, your voice shifting to an unhinged whisper that barely conceals wild amusement. "I mean, look at you—so prim, so boring. Doesn’t it ever tickle you to see someone push the limits?"

Bucky arches an eyebrow, a low-key, amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I must say, Ms. Romanoff, you are different from what I expected," he replies coolly, his tone laced with restrained amusement.

"Well, gotta keep them on their toes, right?" you say, faking an exaggerated laugh.

You keep your ramble going, trying your hardest to break the guy and make him leave right this moment, but he does not budge at all. He’s actually enjoying this—a lot—contrary to his earlier mood.

Feeling done with entertaining him, you pull out your most treasured weapon.

"Mr. Barnes, how could I forget to introduce you to my babies—Samantha and Rachel?"

He raises an eyebrow in a questioning stare as you lean forward, pushing up your chest. You beckon him forward with your finger.

"The left one is Samantha, and the right one is Rachel. I spent a whopping 50k dollars on these babies," you giggle, giving him a wink. He chokes on his drink, eyes widening as he stares at your grinning face. And, as you least expect it, he lets out a laugh, a real, amused one.

The chatter of the restaurant fades as you lean back in your chair, eyes locked on him. Across the table, James Buchanan Barnes—your cold, calculating CEO—studies you with an amused, almost bemused expression. The clink of cutlery and soft background music melt away, leaving only the tension between your unhinged energy and his quiet, calculated amusement.

"You’ll do," he states, confusing you for a second.

"What do you mean?" you ask, not understanding.

"Your father has been a good friend of my grandfather, and I like where this date is going. I'd like to schedule another date with you."

"Huh?" you let out. "What do you mean? You can’t do this. You know I have three other men going out with me this week—I can't do this."

"It’s fine with me. I'll talk with my secretary to arrange another date. I like you and would like to pursue this," he says, getting up with a smirk on his face. "Give my regards to your father." He turns away and walks out of the restaurant.

Left alone at the table, you exhale sharply, a mix of panic and exasperation washing over you. You quickly text Natasha, urging her to call immediately. "Call me, it's urgent," you type as you sit there, wondering exactly what you got yourself into.

A/n: You know I had to bring in Samantha and Rachel. They are icons..iykyk.

I've had this series in my mind for a long time. Lemme know your thoughts on it. <3

☆[Follow the tag ⁺‧˚ ⋆Business Proposal⋆ ˚‧⁺ for updates]☆

[car-o-line]

Hello!! I've seen your fics and theyre are just so amazing!!(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Is it ok if I request the tbhk characters with a reader who had like really long and luscious hair. Like it's all soft and silky but then on days out of the blue, reader comes to school and their hair is cut up to their collarbones with layers and stuff (as someone who cut their hair and added layers MY HAIR IS NEVER RECOVERING)

EIHEVWHQNA I LOVE THIS IDEA SM I HOPE UR PILLOW IS COLD ON BOTH SIDES TONIGHT🙏🙏 also can relate to giving myself a haircut so don’t feel alone😭

TBHK characters with a reader who cut their long hair

Nene Yashrio:

Omgomgomgomgomgomg-

This girl is OBSESSED with your hair.

It’s just so long and gorgeous and beautiful and amazing and wonderful and adorable she simply just can’t stop looking at it!!

Definitely a hairstylist at heart, she’d give you amazing hairstyles.

And then give herself the same hairstyle! So you guys could be twins!

But then-

“Morning Nene,”

“Good morning Y/n- OH!”

This girl thought she was going crazy for a minute, like yesterday she saw you with long hair and now you have short AND layered hair????????

Did she miss an update or something???

She does that thing what hairstylist does and runs her hands through your hair(messing it up) and gushing about how cute it looks.

Then she’ll brag about how she has the longer hair now.

Hanako:

Oh you thought your hair was pretty?

Watch this man make a it look like a Christmas tree or smth(like what he did to Nene😔)

He sucks at hair, I’m sorry, maybe like a cute ponytail but that’s about it :(

He really likes your hair though!!

It entertains him during your classes if he’s with you.

He plays with your hair a lot, your classmates think ur hairs possessed or something.

Jokes about using your hair as a mop to clean the bathroom floors.

BUT then you showed up with short hair.

Like to your shoulders short.

He was very confused, but then it was replaced with acceptance, then joy🥳

Now your hairstyles will be even more hideous pretty!!!

Honestly no matter the hair length he’ll always poke fun at it(flirting btw)<3

Minamoto Kou:

Definitely tries to guess your shampoo scent-

He has a little sister so he’s somewhat good at styling hair!

He likes seeing you with different hairstyles, ponytails, braids, buns, anything practical looks gorgeous on you!!

But then one day you waltzed on into school with short and layered hair.

Good lord save this boy🙏

Literally had 27 heart attacks and 6 strokes at the same time.

You looked so different but in like a good way yk???

At this point he wasn’t even blushing he looked like he was having a fever.

After his dramatic loss of words he complimented you.

“Oh..yeah, looks nice.”

He’s horrible at hiding his blush but he’s trying<3

Sousuke Mitsuba:

Okay sure he’s THINKS your hairs nice but nothings better than his hair.

He’s such a narcissist istg.

Gives you backhanded compliments on a daily basis.

“Woww Y/n…you sure do have a load of confidence to have your hair in a stick shape..”

“A braid..?”

“Oh so it’s an actual thing!? I thought you were just being like..creative?”

He’s so weird that you can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

But then you came into school with short hair :0

He literally screamed, he thought your long hair was a wig.

But then he really looked at it and gave you his approval.

But he still makes fun of you.

Nanamine Sakura:

An actual hair master.

Look how pretty her hair is, she can definitely give you smth good.

I’d like to think she used to have long hair because how tf are her bangs so long, so she knows what it’s like to have long hair.

Recommends hair products for you.

And would also carry hair ties around for you.

But that goes to waste when you waddled into the broadcasting club with short hair.

A little longer than hers but it’s a lot shorter than what you had.

She thinks it’s adorable<3

Now you both can be twining!

She would help you style your hair like hers.

I literally have no clue what to say about queen Sakura here, just that she’s sane and would have a normal reaction.

Yugi Tsukasa:

Would literally and I am not joking, try and eat your hair.

Or try to strangle you with it idk🤷‍♀️

Would be that brat who’d pull your hair to make you trip when walking.

But he’s doing it because he loves youuuuu😘

Honestly I don’t think he’d care about your hair enough to actually try and style it.

Maybe just mess it up.

Or play with it, like twirl it around his fingers and try to make it curl.

But then he sees you with short hair.

Thought someone cut it off.

You had to tell him you got a haircut, he was still confused but shrugged it off.

He surprisingly got over it and adjusted to it quickly.

But then he asked if you knew where your extra hair was.

“In the garbage probably, I’d be surprised if they didn’t put it in there.”

“Well you should totally go back and ask if they still have it!”

“Why-?”

“So I can keep it.”

He’s a weird little shit.

#GladHanakoKilledHim

[tiktaalic]

catching fire dash simulator

finnicksgirl Follow

my streams have been cutting all season omfg what is going on

caps4finnick Follow

cinnagirl3000 Follow

anybody heard from cinna lately?

plutarcheology Follow

Plutarch Heavensbee circa 2282

revolutionarykatniss

As if it’s not ENOUGH that yall wanna fuck the most morally bankrupt man alive who is more than complicit because he gets paid to live in luxury to ORCHESTRATE the deaths of innocents so that they’re a spectacle and don’t have the option to die even semi peacefully. as if that’s not enough. You wanna fuck him when he’s ugly?

caesarflickerwoman Follow

anyone else still thinking about how caesar and peeta were kinda ..

czrflckmn

Aren’t you the one who had the week long meltdown about peeta being overfamiliar with him

caesarflickerwoman

Well you see I’m gay and a man now

theeclove Follow

already tired of this fucking season of everlark -_- idgaf about the fucking fog

siblingvictors

DISTRICT ONE GONNA SEND THEM A CANCELLATION NOTICE!! #CASHMEREGLOSS4EVER

czrflkmn Follow

everyone looooooves to act like NOTABLE cishet peeta is so gay w caesar as if his gay cohost isn't right there.... slaying in a wig..... sending yearning glances caesar's way right before the camera cuts......

johannadykeson Follow

tbh she’s got the WORST taste in allies idek why i continue to stan. girl MAGS?

#my girl going to get slorn :/

katnissgirlsmakedo

She is choosing with her HEART she chose to save peeta in the games REMEMBERRRRRRRR she’s literally a lovergirl to the core

#lovecore #heartcore #truelove

lucygraydotcom Follow

Caesar flickerman kidn if a laughing gnome. Reblog

finnickforever Follow

I’ve supported finnick through a lot and defended them and I’ve always been proud they're from my district but honestly they went way too far by doing the salute during the interview. I can only hope that they just got caught up in the moment with everyone else doing it and obviously it’s a stressful situation but I don’t think I can continue endorsing them. I’ll be changing my url this week.

divorceekatniss Follow

hey guys i know times are tough for everyone and the capital has really cracked down but my mutual @divorceepeeta got flogged the other day and could really use some help. v3nmo here. anything helps #signalboost #mockingjay

disabledmags Follow

Tbh the baby is the saddest thing I've ever heard </3

peetaspride

Another citizen falling for capital propaganda. It's so glaringly apparent that this is made up to draw in views. The tributes undergo extensive medical examination prior to the games. They would NEVER let a pregnant woman compete.

disabledmags

As if killing children has ever stopped them before?

#We all saw him fall to protect her stomach before they even started the victory tour #Is it that ridiculous to believe two newlyweds fresh out of a life or death situation would celebrate a little carelessly?

peetaspride

If you think even the marriage is real you're stupider than I thought. Peeta spends every interview begging us to see his truth. The capital is shamelessly silencing him and "the baby" is a distraction.

peetasbabymama Follow

URL CHANGE!! faggotpeeta->peetasbabymama

cupcakeeverlark

this isnt funny. peeta's a real person with real feelings. it will never be funny to call someone a f***** as a joke. how would you feel if my url was f*****peetasbabymama?

peetasbabymama

ok

district420

isnt cupcakeeverlark literally prez snow's 12 yr old granddaughter lol

tendinghiswounds

OOMF IS 12???????????

everlarklovechild

the age is the problem here?

marriedeverlark Follow

Canon url 🎉🎊💅😁🥰♥️

beeteemp3 Follow

New content of my favorite tribute 😁😁😁

3ffietrinket

Girl there’s a 96% chance they die ?

peenick Follow

getting reports from the presidential banquet that Peeta looks gay as fuck

3v3rlark Follow

ik peeniss has been flagging w the rehearsed speeches but did anyone else see the way they looked at each other in the censored district 11 speech

rues-song

you’re STUPID she’s a capital pawn AND i fucked your mom while you were busy looking for illegal streams

senecacraneofficial Follow

rip seneca you were so babygirl </3

plutarchbaby69

so now you think we can’t fuck old men?

#this fandom is so ageist #this is prob what I get for blogging about thg tbh since # it’s literally about kids. Some of you ppl need to grow up

[hotvintagepoll]

Cantinflas (Around the World in 80 Days, Ahí está el detalle, Ni Sangre, ni Arena)—OH BOY I GET TO TALK ABOUT CANTINFLAS!! Honestly, I’m not the most qualified to even be talking about him: he was famously a king of wordplay, but Spanish is my second language so I always feel like I’m missing some of the jokes…..but even so he is so SO funny it’s like unbelievable. Ok so also. One movie I can talk confidently about is him in around the world in 80 days, which i have watched so many times and he just rocks. Like. ROCKS. Here he is on his dumb little bike [included below the cut]. This is how we meet him in th movie and I think they should have just put the words “SCRUNGLY” across the scene.He also does little tricks, wears his dumb little shoes, has some kind of weird romantic thing going on with David niven…..it makes me so sad we dont have even more movies from him because honestly his whole thing (esp in 80 days with his silly trousers) is just Gender.  

Harpo Marx (Night at the Opera, Night in Casablanca, Duck Soup)—While Groucho is better-known, Harpo's physical comedy is SECOND-TO-NONE. The man is a strange mime trapped in the paradigm of early 20th century movies. Every move is a symphony and simultaneously a colony of rats in a human skin suit. LISTEN. You MUST see this man in motion. Every still photo of him looks like a combination of a sad clown and a different, sadder clown, but it's only because he put so much joy in every motion.

These are the the quarterfinals for the scrungly little guy contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Cantinflas:

"charlie chaplin once called him the greatest comedian alive"

Harpo Marx:

He's like if a clown was a hobo was also somehow a classically trained harpist, his face is always in some kind of contorted silly shape, feral curly haired ninnymuggins always doing weird things to people

Harpo is mute in all of the Marx Bros movies and so his body language and facial expressions are SO over the top but he's also got fewer braincells than a goldfish while often being the emotional heart of the Marx Bros and he's just A Guy!!

Every scene with Harpo Marx is a treat! Just like watching a seagull steal a stranger's hotdog at the beach, it is a joy to watch him frustrate the hell out of all the other films' characters! Harpo Marx is the zenith of unhinged in all of his appearances, making any other funny man a straight man by comparison. (A fantastic feat considering he starred in films with his brothers Grouch and Harpo, who sported a shoe polish mustache and questionable Italian accent, respectively). The scrungliness of the little guys he plays come from his guileless, wide-eyed expression, curly blond wig, and the extreme ability to annoy others, despite never saying a word. Is he malicious? Most definitely, but hard to tell because he has a dopey grin on his face most of the time. Communicating through other sounds like honking horns and whistling, he is a force of chaos in every Marx brothers film! Also an accomplished harp player, the beautiful calm moments where Harpo plays juxtapose the zany, making him all the more scrungly. His visual style of comedy is timeless; Duck Soup had me rolling with laughter as a six year old and is still just as funny today.

In my opinion Harpo is the funniest of the Marx brothers because he is so good at slapstick comedy. Since he never speaks in his film appearances his performances are very physical, which contributes a lot to his scrungliness. He was fully committed to being wacky at all times. All of his hilarity is based on him being weird.

He's just a weird little guy who causes chaos everywhere he goes, and then sits down and plays a beautiful harp solo! He steals the show from his very chatty brothers without saying a word, and was surprisingly ripped under that old raincoat

All of the Marx Brothers are Scrungly to a degree, but Harpo is the scrungliest! His outfits are so big he gets lost in them, his pockets are full of everything, and because he never speaks, he always uses physical comedy. Also he's an incredible musician.

[foundtherightwords]

Fallen Empires - Chapter 1

Pairing: Geta x OFC

Summary: Having done the unthinkable to secure his throne, Emperor Geta rules with ruthlessness and paranoia. Now, after escaping an assassination attempt, a badly injured Geta is saved by Daphne, a young widow, who takes him back to her remote village without knowing his true identity. As Daphne nurses the former emperor back to health, attraction blooms between them, and Geta discovers a soft side he didn't know he possessed. But can their love survive his thirst for revenge and his desire to reclaim power?

Warnings: violence, domestic abuse, non-explicit smut

Chapter warnings: mention of blood and injuries

Chapter word count: 5.1k

A/N: I started this fic all the way back in April, when we first got the news that Joe was cast as Caracalla in "Gladiator 2". I did a ton of research, read books and academic papers about Caracalla and his reign, the whole shebang. Then in July, we got the confirmation that Joe played Geta instead, but by then, I'd already written about 30k words and didn't want to throw it away. Since I never was going to follow the movie anyway (no spoilers here!), I thought, OK, if the great Ridley Scott wasn't going to be historically accurate, then neither am I! So I replaced "Caracalla" with "Geta", changed a few details, and here we are.

The biggest change I made is that Geta was the one that killed Caracalla, not the other way around (this is a historical fact so it's not a spoiler for the movie.) Their confrontation also followed history (which happened in the presence of their mother, Julia Domna.) The remainder of Geta's reign is based on the real reign of Caracalla - his various military campaigns, the war against Parthia, and his infamous assassination (attempted assassination, in this case) by Justus Martialis while peeing on the side of the road now all happen to Geta. Also, Caracalla is described as sometimes wearing a blonde wig, so my headcanon is that the ginger hair in the movie is a wig as well (sorry Joe, I know you were working that wig for all it's worth, but I can't take it seriously.)

Prologue

Once upon a time, two brothers founded the greatest empire in the world...

He and his brother had grown up with the tale of Romulus and Remus, as any child of Rome would. But unlike other children of Rome, he and his brother had also been told that they would one day inherit the empire that those two brothers had built.

Nobody told them the birth of that empire had come at the price of fratricide. Nobody told them that only one brother was destined to be emperor.

They knew anyway.

The only question was, after the blood had run dry, which one of them would be left standing?

He, for one, refused to wait for an answer. He would find his own. So when the Fates dealt him their blow, he fought back and reclaimed his destiny from them. And as he stood over his brother with the blade still dripping blood in his hand, as he looked at the shocked faces of the Praetorians, as he avoided his mother's horrified eyes, filled with the tears he didn't allow her to shed, he thought he'd done it. He'd had the answer.

"You all saw!" he shouted at them, daring them to contradict him. "You saw what he was going to do, how he was coming for me! I did what I had to do to protect myself!" No one said a word in response. Perhaps they thought, and rightly so, that it would be unwise to oppose a man holding a bloody sword. "He was a tyrant and a would-be murderer," he continued, indicating his brother. "There is to be no mourning of him." His mother flinched, her arms closing instinctively around her son's still-warm body, but she, too, said nothing. "I want his image removed from all paintings, coins melted down, statues destroyed, his name struck from records. Let it be known from this day forward that it is a capital offense to speak or write his name!"

His orders were carried out, of course. He was the Emperor now.

But in wiping all images of his brother off the face of the Earth, he also had to remake his own. They had been so intricately linked, so connected in the minds of the citizens of Rome, two sides of the same monstrous coin, that he had to become someone else to be seen as the true heir, as the sole emperor. Gone were the wig and the makeup. Gone were the flashy clothes and jewelry. He cropped his hair short, grew a beard, and dressed himself in the simple garb of a legionary. He went on campaign after campaign to expand the Empire. Caledonia, Germania, Alexandria, Parthia. He would become a soldier-emperor, like his father. He would become a conqueror, like Alexander the Great. He would build an empire, like Romulus. Because he, like Romulus, was the brother who survived.

Only he didn't expect the price of surviving would be so high.

Chapter 1

The smell of blood was in the air.

As he staggered over the rocky ground, he could smell it all around him, on him, in him, and there was no escaping it. The sharp metallic tang of it brought back unpleasant memories of battlefields, of death and screaming and decay. But this was no battlefield. It was quiet, far too quiet; there was none of the clashes of swords and armors, the panicked whinnying of horses, or the groans of dying men. The only sound was his own ragged breathing and the hammering of pulse in his ears. There were stabbing pains on his back and between his ribs, and it hurt every time he drew a breath. There was a pounding somewhere on the back of his head—he must have hit it when he fell down the slope, though he no longer remembered where that slope was. He no longer remembered anything except for a burning feeling of anger and hatred, almost stronger than the pains of his body, though at whom or what that anger was directed, he didn't know. And underneath it all was a threat of fear. He had never been afraid of anything. Yet now the cold breath of Phobos was on the back of his neck, driving him on, urging him to get away, as far away as he could.

His head felt heavy and light at the same time. More than once, he stumbled over a rock and went down on his hands and knees. That was when he realized he was clutching a dagger in his hand, a dagger sticky with blood—his own or someone else's, he no longer remembered either. He pushed himself up by the hilt of the dagger and continued on. His lungs burned, his skin was icy cold despite the warm spring sunshine, and his limbs were so numb he was afraid the dagger might slip from his fingers. He must not let that happen. That dagger was important somehow. And he walked on, over the rocks and the uneven ground and the thick undergrowth.

He came across a stream, its banks overflowing from the winter rain. He still had the presence of mind to tuck the dagger into his belt before plunging in. The water was much deeper than he'd expected. His feet went out from under him. The pains in his back and his ribs melted into one scorching spear that went through him from chest to shoulder blades, and he had no strength left to fight the current. A branch of driftwood floated past. He held on to it, by instinct rather than a conscious desire to live. Doing so hurt his chest, but the water cooled his pounding head and washed away some of the searing pain and the blood, so the smell no longer assaulted his nostrils. He let the stream carry him away.

So this is how it ends, he thought, feeling blood and life drain out of him. This little stream was to be his River Styx. Not for him the glorious death of the battlefield. Not for him the quiet, peaceful death after a lifetime of ruling and conquering. Not for him even the sudden, tragic death of a great man cut down in his prime. No, for him would be an ignominious death, befitting an ignominious life. Somehow he'd always known it. This was what the Fates had in store for him.

He never quite lost consciousness, though he didn't know how long he floated. At some point, the light shining through his eyelids lost its brightness, but he couldn't tell if it was because the sun was going down or he was dying.

Hands came down on his shoulders. It brought the pain back, and that was how he knew he was still alive. He'd stopped floating. Someone was hauling him up the bank of the stream, dragging him by the arms. So they'd found him, then. He was dropped unceremoniously over the rocky ground, where he lay motionless, waiting for the soft whisper of a sword being drawn from its sheath, for the final blow to end his misery, for eternal darkness to engulf him at last.

When it never came, he forced his eyes open.

For a moment, he thought he really was dead, and he was facing Charon—a dark shape loomed over him, with fire for eyes and a hairy, oddly-shaped head. The words of the Aeneid, learned from his youth, came to his mind unbidden.

A sordid god: down from his hairy chin;

A length of beard descends, uncombed, unclean;

His eyes, like hollow furnaces on fire;

A girdle, foul with grease, binds his obscene attire...

Now he knew he was dying. Since when did he start remembering poetry?

Something warm and moist brushed his face, a snort stirred his wet hair, and the illusion broke. It wasn't Charon that stood over him, but some sort of animal, perhaps a horse. The fiery eyes moved, and he realized they were a torch, held in the hand of a person—a real person, with a cowl covering the head, keeping the face in the shadow. Savior or executioner?

He twisted his head to avoid the animal's inquisitive nose. Even such a tiny movement hurt. A pair of small feet, clad in old leather sandals, stood beside him. A pair of slim ankles, brushed by the long hem of a dark gown. A woman's feet.

Gentle hands turned him over. He tried to focus. In the light of the torch, he found himself looking into a pair of green eyes, as green as the hills of Caledonia, as green as the forests of Germania, as green as the water of the Euphrates, eyes that soothed and calmed and took away his pains. 

And, as he looked into those eyes, Emperor Geta, the Imperator Caesar Publius Septimius Geta Augustus, uttered the one word he'd never thought he would say, in all twenty-eight years of his life: "Help."

Darkness took him then.

***

Daphne stared at the soldier lying on the bank of the stream by her feet. He was a soldier, that much she was certain of, despite his lack of armor. It was a good thing too, for he would've sunk to the bottom of the stream had he been wearing all those heavy metal plates. But what had happened to him? How did he come to be here, all bedraggled and bloody? Had there been a battle nearby that she didn't know about? Ever since the previous spring, when war with Parthia had broken out again, Daphne had seen her fair share of soldiers marching through the countryside. Her village was too small, tucked away as it was amongst the hills, to receive much attention from the army, but she'd heard complaints of people from bigger towns who had had their crops taken, their draft animals seized, and their lives disrupted by the war. Even her younger brother, Attikos, had been recruited by the army. He was now serving in a garrison somewhere in the north, and every day her family lived in fear that he would not come back. Daphne, whose own life had been disrupted by another war that took place nearly ten years ago and thousands of miles away, tried her best to ignore the battles that raged on just across the border, knowing there was nothing she could do about them.

But now, it seemed, the battles had found their way to her.

The soldier at her feet let out a groan, and her healer's nature took over. Putting the torch down, she slipped her hands under his arms and lifted him up. The soldier, though muscular, wasn't a big man, and Daphne was strong from all the climbing and walking she had to do every day, so with only some grunting and heaving, she managed to put him on the back of her donkey, Midas, who was hovering helpfully nearby. "Come, Midas," she said, and with the torch in one hand, she led the donkey back to their camp, in one of the many caves that dotted the bottom of the hills.

That spring, as soon as the pistachio trees began putting out their clusters of green blooms tipped with pink, Daphne had left her hut for her bi-annual journey to gather herbs and medicine, while hoping that nobody at the village would be so inconsiderate as to fall ill or go into labor while she was away. It was a journey she had been making with her grandmother since she was old enough to tell wild carrot from poisonous hemlock, and one she'd always looked forward to as a child. For days on end, the two of them would wander up and down the hills and valleys of the Balikh River, searching amongst the new growth that had sprung up after the winter rain, looking for leaves and flowers with healing powers. For Daphne, it had been like playing, running through the plants, gathering up armfuls of fragrant leaves and flowers, cooking on an open fire, sleeping under the stars or in a cave. It was the only playtime she ever had. In the autumn, they would come back for roots and seeds and dry branches, but she loved the spring trip the best.

Now, as a grown woman, Daphne still loved the journey, though she also understood why her grandmother had taken her along all those years ago. It wasn't because Daphne had been that much help, or because her grandmother had wanted to give Daphne a rest from helping her mother and taking care of her brothers. It was simply because the old woman wanted someone to talk to. Back at the village, there were always people coming and going, seeking help. Out here, with nothing but the sky above and the ground beneath her, Daphne sometimes felt as though she was the only person alive in the whole of creation. There was Midas, of course, but as sweet as he was, a donkey was not much company.

So it was with a strange sense of relief and gratitude that Daphne lowered the soldier onto the ground, stoked the fire higher, and cut open his tunic to look at his wounds. Yes, this was something odd and unsettling and perhaps dangerous as well, but at least she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts for the night. She would have company, even if he was unconscious, and more importantly, she would have something to occupy herself with.

The wounds—there were two, one on his back near the shoulder and one between his ribs, just below his chest—were deep but clean, clearly made by a blade. Whatever had happened to him, the soldier had certainly been favored by Fortuna. His cloak had softened the blow, and the blade had only gone through the fleshy part of his shoulder. At the front, the blade had also been deflected somehow and had slipped between his ribs instead of burying itself in his heart. There was no blood bubbling at the corner of his mouth, and his breathing was shallow but steady, meaning his lung had been spared. The soldier's trip down the stream had cleaned the wounds, leaving only a small trickle of blood.

Daphne opened her jar of vinegar, which she always brought along in case she found some plants that needed preserving, cut a strip of linen from the soldier's tunic, which was ruined anyway, dipped it in the vinegar, and carefully cleaned the wounds again. There was also a rather nasty bruise on the back of his head, but that would have to wait. Thank the gods she had her suturing needle and thread with her. She'd never gone on a long journey without them, not after the time she fell down a ravine and cut her foot. Had she been further away from home then, she would not have made it back. Yet another reason her grandmother had insisted on bringing along a helper.

The soldier's flesh trembled and twitched under the vinegar cloth. Daphne, bending over the wounds, didn't see him move. She only heard a hiss of steel and jumped back just in time to avoid the blade as it flashed in the firelight, right across her face. The soldier shot up, a dagger clutched in his hand, his eyes wide open, dark and enormous in the dimness of the cave. They were blank and unfocused, and she knew he saw nothing at all.

"Murderer!" he said in a hoarse whisper. "Traitor!"

Something hot and wet oozed down her cheek. Daphne clamped a hand to it and felt pain blaze across her cheekbone. The soldier's dagger had cut her. Had she been a fraction of a heartbeat slower, it would've taken out her nose or even her eye.

"You fool!" she shouted. Her grandmother would have something to say about the wisdom of arguing with a delirious man wielding a dagger, but Daphne had no time for wisdom at the moment. "You utter fool! I'm trying to save your life!" Blood was dripping down the side of her face, warm and sticky on her jaw.

The soldier wasn't listening. He was still ranting and raving about murderers and traitors, and something else in Latin, which Daphne couldn't understand. Then he tried to push himself to his feet, only to collapse in a heap by the fire. The dagger clattered out of his hand.

Daphne approached him cautiously, holding her injured cheek. He was motionless, though his chest was still moving up and down in weak, rapid breaths. Not wanting to take any risk, she picked up the dagger and tucked it into her pack, and, as extra precaution, bound the soldier's hands with some rope. Then, after wrapping some bandages around her cheek to stop the bleeding, she put more wood into the fire to stoke it higher, so its light filled the cave and reached even the furthest corner. Under that light, she sutured the soldier's wounds, using small, careful stitches just the way her grandmother had taught her. Once this was done, she went out again, torch in hand, passed the snoozing Midas by the mouth of the cave, and started searching the ground along the stream. She had seen some early-blooming goldenrods there—she never bothered to gather them, since they were abundant all around the hills of her village and in her own garden, but now she filled her mantle with the small yellow flowers.

The soldier was still unconscious by the time she came back. Good. She didn't want him awake and squirming and tearing the stitches. She crushed the goldenrod blooms and mixed them with vinegar into a bitter-smelling poultice, put it on his wounds and his bruise, and wrapped them in clean bandages. Some of the poultice she saved to put on her own wound as well, though the suturing would have to wait until the morning, when she could see her face more clearly.

With a sigh, Daphne sat back by the fire, trying not to wince as the vinegary poultice pressed into her cut. Her patient was lying peacefully enough, covered in her blanket, though he still writhed and grimaced from time to time.

She looked at him more closely, with curiosity. He was not a young man, though he was not yet old either, perhaps close to thirty. The same age as her husband, Galen, had he lived. But this man was no common foot soldier like her Galen had been. For all the ordinariness of his clothing, she could tell he was a patrician. It was there in the fine wool of his tunic, much finer than the coarse undyed linen of a soldier's, in the soft leather of his boots, in the gleaming buckles of his belt, in the carved ring on the little finger of his left hand. It was there in his face as well, in the high forehead framed by short dark curls, in the eyebrows that seemed locked in a permanent scowl above his fine-shaped nose, in the strong mouth and firm jaw covered by a neatly trimmed beard. Those noble features only heightened the riddle of the man, a riddle Daphne had no hope of solving any time soon.

Well, a good night's rest would bring clarity and wisdom in the morning, as her grandmother had always said. Leaving the mysterious soldier on the other side of the fire, Daphne wrapped herself in her mantle, lay down on the hard floor of the cave, and fell into a tired sleep, her cheek still smarting.

***

The fire had burned down to embers and the pale gray light of dawn was shining in from the mouth of the cave when Daphne was wakened by a shuffling sound. It was the soldier, who was pulling weakly at his bound wrists. His eyes were open, and though they were still dazed, some of the delirium in them had faded.

"What's the meaning of this?" he croaked. "Who are you? What have you done to me?!"

"Please, calm yourself," said Daphne, scrambling to her feet and holding up a hand. "I have to tie you up because you were tossing about. Calm yourself before you tear your wounds open. You're safe."

"Safe?" he repeated, almost to himself. "No... not safe... not safe..." The delirium was settling in again. She had to get a few things out of him before he lost consciousness or worse.

"What's your name?" she asked. "Which legion do you belong to? Is your camp close by?" He showed no sign of hearing her and only looked about the cave with wide, panic-stricken eyes. Daphne stepped closer and pulled her mantle down so he could see her face more clearly. "Is there anyone I can go to for help?"

His hand shot out and gripped her wrist so tightly it hurt. He fixed those enormous eyes on her. "No!" he shouted, though it came out little more than a rasping whisper. "Tell no one! Danger... must hide..." Then his eyes glazed over, and he dropped to the floor, fingers slowly loosening from her wrist.

Daphne made her way back to the other side of the dying fire and sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, rubbing her sore wrist. The soldier's fear was contagious. What had happened to him was no mere battle wounds, she could see that now. He had rambled about murderers and traitors... but was he the victim of murderers and traitors, or was he himself a murderer and traitor? Was he in danger, or was he the danger?

It was a two days' journey to the nearest town, Carrhae, and four days back to her village. The sensible thing to do was to bring him to Carrhae and leave him there for the authority to deal with. But with his injuries, he may not survive the trip. And even if they made it to Carrhae, a lone soldier, very possibly a deserter or even a turncoat, would not merit much attention. The magistrate there may leave him to die. Daphne wasn't sure she could live with that on her conscience. As she watched the unconscious soldier, she couldn't help thinking of her Galen, dead these eight years and buried somewhere in the cold, barbaric hills of Caledonia. What if something like this had happened to Galen as well? What if he'd been separated from his fellow soldiers and stumbled through a foreign land, lost and injured? And what if some woman had also happened upon him, but had decided to let him die because she thought he was too much trouble? What if this soldier had someone waiting for him?

With such thoughts circling around her head like a swarm of angry bees, there was no going back to sleep for her. As soon as the light turned from gray to white, Daphne went to the stream to fetch a pan of water, stopping briefly to check on Midas, who was contentedly cropping the grass around the mouth of the cave.

Her reflection in the stream made Daphne realize why the soldier had been so frightened upon seeing her. With dried blood down one side of her cheek, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep, and her hair all wild, she must have looked, to him, like one of the Furies. Returning to the cave, she tried to stitch the cut on her cheek as best she could, using the pan of water as a mirror. It was going to leave a scar for sure. Oh well. She had never been a great beauty anyway.

She then boiled the water to make some porridge for breakfast. As she ate, she dug around in her store of foraged plants and herbs and found some valerian, which she steeped into a tea to help the soldier sleep. He swallowed the tea easily enough, though Daphne knew what he really needed was some tincture of poppy, which was stored in a precious glass vial on the highest shelf back in her hut, four days away. But could she bring him back there? The villagers would not take kindly to a stranger.

Leaving the soldier in the cave, Daphne returned to the stream with Midas by her side. Mysteriously wounded men or not, she was determined to finish her trip. Throughout the morning, she worked hard on the bank, cutting down armfuls of young willow, as these large trees were of better quality than the scraggy bushes near her village. She took care not to stray too far from the cave and returned from time to time to check on the soldier, who remained unconscious. In the light of day, he was looking very pale. Whatever she was going to do with him, she had to decide quickly. Although his wounds were not fatal, he had lost a lot of blood, and if the wounds became poisoned, there was little she could do for him out here.

Daphne was busy stripping the leaves from the willow branches to get at the medicinal bark when Midas gave a warning bray. She turned around and saw two soldiers striding toward her from upstream. She quickly pulled the mantle over her head to conceal her face, while still keeping an eye on them. They were dressed much more elaborately than her patient, in chainmail and helmets, and carrying swords and shields emblazoned with a scorpion. Dressed for battle. What kind of battle could they expect here, in this lonely valley amongst these rocky hills of Osroene?

The soldiers had spotted her and were quickening their steps. She remained where she was, with her back to them, feigning oblivion.

"You there! Old woman!" shouted one of the soldiers in Greek. Old woman? They must have been fooled by her dark mantle and her hunched form. Part of Daphne was offended, but another part of her was glad. She didn't like to think what such beastly men would do to a lone woman in the wilderness. "On your feet! We have some questions for you!"

Daphne gripped her knife more tightly in her palm, concealing it between the folds of her chiton. With her other hand, she pulled herself up by holding on to a willow tree, making sure to keep her back stooped, trying to appear like an old, decrepit hag. 

"Have you seen a wounded man around here?" one of the soldiers asked. He was young, with a face like a rat. He took off his helmet to wipe at his forehead, revealing thin tuffs of pale blonde hair.

Daphne hesitated. These men could be her patient's fellow legionaries, and she could simply hand him over to them and not have to worry about him any longer. However, she was now seeing them more clearly, and the brutal, fierce look on their faces made her knees tremble. She could be handing her patient to his executioners.

"Wounded?" she said in a low rasp. "Why would there be any wounded men around here? Was there a battle? Have the Parthians invaded us?"

"Calm down, you silly old hag," the other soldier said. He was older and darker. A scar ran from his left eye down his cheek, making him look even more vicious. "There was no battle," he continued. "Our fellow soldier simply—had an accident while marching, and we lost track of him. We're trying to find him before he gets seriously hurt. If you've seen him, tell us, and the army will reward you handsomely."

A likely story. Those wounds were no accident. Daphne shook her head. "No," she said. "No, I haven't seen a soul."

The two soldiers glanced at each other in exasperation and something else, too. Fear? Worry?

"He can't have gone this far," the blonde soldier said. "If Martialis had managed to wound him before he was killed—"

"Quiet, you idiot!" the dark one hissed. He pulled his partner away from Daphne's earshot, but some of his angry words floated back to her. "This is your fault! If you'd gone with Martialis to make sure the deed was done, none of this would've happened! Now we're trampling all over this Gods-forsaken land, searching for a needle in a haystack..."

So Martialis—whoever he was, or had been, by the sound of it—must have been the one who attacked her patient. And then her patient had killed Martialis and escaped? Daphne wasn't quite sure what the soldiers' conversation meant, but she was sure that there was some conspiracy here, and those men were in on it.

Her heart stopped. The two soldiers had noticed the cave and were making their way toward it. If they found her patient, they would know she'd lied...

"I wouldn't go poking around in there if I were you, young masters," she called out. The soldiers paused near the mouth of the cave and turned back to frown at her. She bent down a little, so that her cowl fell over her face. "These hills are teeming with scorpions and venomous snakes, and they like nothing more than a cool, dark place like that to hide from the sun," she continued. "They would not take kindly to being wakened from their nap."

The soldiers drew back, peering into the dark of the cave warily as if they could see these snakes and scorpions lurking there.

"I told you, he can't have gone far," the blonde, rat-faced soldier repeated to his partner. "We would've seen him by now. Unless he'd fallen into the stream. And if he had, he's done for anyway."

The dark-haired soldier lifted his heavy mail away from his neck and looked at the sun, which was getting higher in the sky and burning hotter. "Yes, I don't think anyone can survive such wounds out here," he said. "Let's go."

They went back the way they came and eventually disappeared behind the rocky hills. Daphne let out a breath of relief. Carrying her bundles of willow bark, she returned to the cave, where her patient was still lying by the remnants of the fire, breathing his shallow breaths and wincing in his sleep. Daphne sighed. It looked like she was going to have to cut her trip short this year.

"Don't make me regret this," she said, though he couldn't hear her.

Chapter 2

A note on the setting: I know that based on the location of the story (Osroene, now southeastern Turkey), the people were more likely to be Mesopotamian than Greek, but I don't know much about Mesopotamian culture and the research overwhelmed me a bit, so I went with Greek for simplicity's sake. A later chapter does include an explanation as to why there is a Greek community in the middle of Mesopotamia (I doubt anyone would care, but I'm a stickler for historical accuracy, even in an alternate history fic.)

Taglist: @sheneedsrocknroll92 (as usual, if you want to be tagged, let me know!)

[mymultiverseofmadnes]

Multiverse Madness

Summary: one day you’re the girlfriend of Scarlett Johansson for a couple of years now - and suddenly you’re trapped with Natasha Romanoff - after something terrible went wrong with the multiverse. What could go wrong?

Pairings: Scarlett Johansson x fem!reader , Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

A/N: this is just a step in into this idea - it sounded quiet fun in my head 😅 so maybe it’ll be worth continuing. Let me know :)

(small) Part 1:

„Natasha - no….please. We - I can’t do this. You need to stop.“ her eyes dark, filled with so much at the same time. „Why? Because I have her face?“ her body pressed against yours - trapped beneath her and the wall behind you. You barely shook your head. This whole situation totally slipped out of control. Whatever it was that forced this whole multiverse thing to happen and crash into your already crazy enough life - THIS!? Was just insane. Here she was - Natasha Romanoff - THE actual Black Widow. Fierce and attractive as your girlfriend - the one who actually portrayed her in freaking movies and not in real life god damn it!

Scarlett didn’t know about this whole situation yet - she was out of town for at least two more days - filming.

And you!? Were trapped with Natasha - who turned out to be as attached to you as Scarlett - since somehow her feelings for you also settled in Natasha. Whatever this crazy rules of multiverse included - if there were even any rules, really.

It all happened about a few hours ago. You just hung up the phone - previously talking to Scarlett. Catching up on how her day was going, if she’d already be done for the day and that you miss her like crazy.

As you were going to head for your shared bedroom you nearly crashed into the red head. Standing in the middle of the hallway - eyes darted to you. She must have watched you the whole time. „What the- Scarlett? How did you - what the hell!?“ your eyes flickered between her and your phone in your hand - with which you just had spoken to her. „Who?“ the red head didn’t flinch. A pure poker face. „What kind of trick is this? Not that I actually mind seeing you in your Black Widow suit and also wearing your civil war wig…“ you smirked - Still not sure what was going on. „Wig? I am sorry but what are you talking about? And most importantly who the fuck is Scarlett?“ your eyes widened in disbelief. „Honey that’s kind of creeping me out - are you ok? How did you even manage to be here that fast? You just told me that you’d still have to shoot at least for 2 more hours because of the light…what are you doing!?“ as you were talking the red head approached you - eyeing you carefully - intense. „It’s weird - besides I clearly have no idea how I got here - you feel so familiar- so…like home…“ as she was coming even closer pictures of you and Scarlett on the wall caught her attention. Her head nearly snapped towards one of them - Scarlett holding you close - placing a tender kiss to your lips. „Who is she?“ she snarled. You couldn’t help but blink rapidly. What on earth was going on!? „Scarlett please, stop this. You know how much I like it when we’re into this Black Widow role play thing - but you’re really starting to scare me. What’s wrong?“ the red heads gaze shifted back to you. „You need to stop calling me that.“ you raised an eyebrow at her words. „But…what?“ one of her fingers found a loosened strand of hair - pulling it gently behind your ear. „I bet you do know my name since you’re pretty aware of my Avengers part. I feel like I have amnesia - but you? You’re part of me, right?“ she whispered. Getting closer. You could feel her breath against your skin. You laughed a nervous laugh. „So what? You want to tell me that you’re actually Natasha Romanoff and not Scarlett, trying to play with me?“ her eyes locked on yours. „Would you mind telling me who the hell this Scarlett is? And why…“ she gestured towards the picture. „Is she kissing you? That’s my part to play…“ with that she leaned in - placing her lips on yours. And gosh it almost felt like Scarlett really was home with you. But still - something felt different. Before anything more could’ve happen her phone goes off. And of course - just to match all this madness - it was no one else than captain America himself - asking about her status and trying to explain that something with the infinity stones and the multiverse had totally gone wrong and know she was in a different universe - along with at least him and Tony.

She listened closely- and after Steve hung up tried to explain to you what was going on. You didn’t understand quiet a word. Besides the fact that somehow your girlfriend now had a doppelgänger. And of course it had to be an assassin - the hottest for sure. Who now tried to make sure you’ll know how much you were affecting her.

As you tried to get your head around all of this - Natasha had other plans. Her own emotions totally out of control. That sudden deep bond she felt with you - as if it was second nature. And the fact that there was a women looking exactly like her who actually claimed you.

After some back and forth of questions and tried answers you decided it was going to be just fair to call Scarlett - but Natasha had other plans. With a quick motion she was back at pinning you against the wall.

[bellesdomain]

Would you be able to do a pre 2018 joule breakdown please

Joule! Love her! Pre-2018, but the German Joule? London version is quite a different question, so I'll assume we're looking at the German/Broadway version. If I'm wrong please let me know!

OK let's see what I can find on how this costume goes together....

This is possibly the most useful image! Here we can see that the actrss is wearing a plan black unitard as underwear - that layer is just to protect the costume from the absolute worst of the sweat and damage from being next to skin. Then she's got a blue sleeveless top - that is actually the top of the leggings, the garment is a one-piece so it's not got a waistband. Instead she has her hidden leather belt - those handles aren't attached to the fabric, she's wearing a sturdy belt like everyone else! It's just hidden beneath her leotard. And we can see the leotard around her waist, blue on the inside. I don't know if I got any photos of how it fastens and how the handles show through - that magnificent wig covers her back often! The "boob-wheels" seem to be sewn directly to the leotard.

The silver squares - they're heat-pressed sequin sheets. You can see they're cut to shape on the diagonal lines on her bodice... kinda... there's a good overlap of sequins across her hips and her knees, that makes sure you're not going to get obvious blank fabric showing as she moves and stretches.

So she's got leggings that have a sleeveless top, the high-cut leotard, hidden belt, then accessories... the shoulder box, we can see a big velcro patch centre of the leotard. Her shoulder box has a corresponding rivet in the centre.

Gloves, remarkably hard to get a clear look at! Are her elbow pads incorporated into her gloves? It would make sense and help keep the whole lot in place. In this back view, beneath her hair, we can see her mic pack, a little pouch of matching fabric. We can also just about see her elbow - the sleeve has a decoration patch, and her elbow seems to be attached to it. This would be insanely practical, to use the decorative patch to anchor her elbow and glove - the anchor point is going to take some strain and need reinforcement so making that reinforcement a feature is perfect!

Her belt, as we've seen, is hidden and I believe her handles are plain black... kneepads are the angular style which is a bit complicated. Then her "slinkies", spring ankles/skate covers. To be honest, I am not sure which of these hanging up are Joule's!

Finally her wig... her glorious, glorious hairstyles that have changed so much over the years! Possibly unpopular opinion, but while I do love her absurd mohawk, it's not my favourite - I love the late 90s/early 2000s where for a while, she had braids, and spikes that looked almost flame-like. She even had neon red in there, which glowed for her intro in AC/DC! It's a shame that effect wasn't used more, because it didn't balance, but for Joule it was awesome :D I love braids for Joule, and Buffy, Wrench had them too briefly in london's early years - the movement when skating, spinning, is fantastic.

If we leave Germany for further references....

By the time the UK Tour reaches Hong Kong and Singapore in 2013, those costumes had been in use for a long... long...... long time. Joule's lost a lot of sequins here, but Wrench has lost her apron altogether!

What this does show us is a rather crude but effective method of holding costume pieces in place. The kneepads are being held up by a strap that is sewn to the leggings, passes through a D ring on the kneepads, and then snaps to itself. This method is rather clumsy looking on kneepads, but REALLY good where it's less obvious! Velcro has the risk of catching and destroying the spandex fabrics. Sometimes it's worth it, but I will bet that it's only the soft side of the velcro on the garments, and the stiff side on boxes etc.

I find the difference in details fascinating - the tour costumes are constructed so differently to the German versions!

Her shoulders here - clearly stitched leather. Nicely done work, but, why stitch everything? Low maintenance maybe? It can take a beating with no risk of elements peeling off. These shoulders are clearly more flexible than the German equivalent - probably more comfortable to wear and dance in... but don't look as good!

Here's an oddity - the 2003 US Tour sent Electra and Joule to a publicity event at a school, but Joule went without wig!

I'm not gonna go into her London "Animal Truck" version, or too deep into her past in this post... that's quite a lot already! I hope that you've enjoyed this trip through the dangers of the dynamite truck with me!

[bigbawdy-benzz]

*Touches your shoulder* Hey~ what about 42! Miles morales x shy!reader

SUPER SHY

Pairing: Miles42! X Shy! Black Plus size Fem Reader

Summary : Y/N has been infatuated with miles for a hot minute but she's too shy to say anything and to make the first move. She would never think that he knows of her or even notices her until one small incident.

A/N: Miles is any age you want him to be in the fic, New jeans dropped super shy and it goes with this fic perfectly! THANK YOU FOR THE REQ As a recovering shy person you know I had to do my big one with this one ENJOY GUYS!!! Here’s Pt.2

It was a new day at Visions Academy; you blasted Tyler the Creator in your air pods while walking through the hallways. It was soothing to sound out all the noise. You walk into your first class ELA sitting down sighing wanting to go home. You put your head down wanting to get the school day over with. You suddenly hear noises over your headphones. You look to your left, and it was Miles and his friends being loud, you roll your eyes at his friends but keep your eyes on Miles, he looked so fine with his 2 braids you thought to yourself. You didn’t even realize you were staring, Miles looked feeling eyes on him making eye contact with you grinning. You felt your heart drop to your ass, thinking that he wouldn’t even notice you. To you, you thought Miles was kind of out of your league, he was kind of popular, all the girls wanted him, and he was sooooo incredibly fine. It's not that you don’t like yourself; it was just rare seeing him around girls like you that made you feel like getting his attention was impossible but, you always had his attention you just never noticed it. You decided to stop zoning out overthinking and started doing your work occupying yourself. You nod your head to WUSYUNAME by Tyler the Creator finishing your work just in time class was over. You see everyone else packing their things and you do the same leaving the classroom, you see your friends huddled by your locker.

“HEYYY Y/N” your friend Ocean yells out, you take one of your airpods out waving at her walking up to her and your other friend.

“Hey girlies” You said with a smile

“Girl how's it going with you know who?” Your other friend Aaliyah asks

“Horrible, well not really I was staring at him and he grinned at me so you can say it's over” You huff covering your face.

“I meannnn him grinning at you is amazing he noticed you babes” Ocean stated rubbing Y/N’s back

“Yeah it's better than him screwing his face up”. Aaliyah adds while you were putting your things in your locker.

“Yeah lets just get to math before Ms.Nelson gets on our ass and she gets mad yelling at us” You stated with a laugh closing your locker walking to class.

“Oh yeah she might call my mom again on her bullshit” Ocean huffs

“Nah we need to find her a good wig she’ll be nice to us for a good 2 weeks”. Aaliyah announces.

“No fr and set her ass up on a date she needs some dick” You chimed in laughing your ass off.

“YOO yall evil for this shit she needs more like locs she can’t keep that wig shit too high maintenance for her ''. Ocean replies, it was all laughs walking to class until you bump into someone

BOOM!

Your books and their books drop on the floor and you’re incredibly embarrassed scrambling to pick your things up, trying not to crease your Jordans.

“I'm so so sorry” You say picking up their books and yours.

“No it's ok…you don’t have to pick my books up after all I bumped into you” They say catching you off guard recognizing the voice. He bends down helping you pick up the books.

“No I bumped into you it's my fault i'm sorry” Y/N apologies once again

“Stop apologizing, it's okay mamita I just need to watch where I'm going next time”. They say helping you up, the way that ‘mamita’ rolled off their tongue had you weak in the knees.

“Im Miles” He says, giving you a smile, handing you your books.

[dailyfigures]

Unpopular opinion: I hate hate HATE loli figures. idc if people collect them because they’re ‘cute’ it’s still weird asf imo, there are so many other and much cuter figures. It disgusts me how popular and normalized they are among the anime community.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

oh god anon allow me to specifically rant about one of my worst pet peeves. i used to see this mostly on tiktok when i still had the app, but i've seen it happen on most social media.

it really grinds my gears when people own a suggestive/nsfw figure of a minor, and then accuse anyone who dares to say something about it of sexualising children. if you want to own figures of a child/teenager in lingerie, i'm really not a fan of that but at least own up to it. don't act like everyone else is weird when you own a figure made with a certain intention and refuse to admit it.

maybe it helps to give an example; i saw someone on tiktok own a figure of ram from re:zero in lingerie, on hands and knees with an arched back. i think ram is 17 and later in the series an adult, arguebly not the worst figure ever but i can imagine people finding it a little weird. op started accusing everyone who made a comment about the figure by pulling an uno reverse and going "wow....how deeply SICK of YOU to see a child and make it sexual....i would NEVER see her like that.....". ok good for you but i can assure you that was the intention the figure was made with, the target audience is adult men and it's strange to deny this. they even claimed that it was fine because "everyone who collects ram is sapphic anyway" i can assure you that is not true 😭😭 this is very much a case of being in your little online gay bubble and thinking the whole world is the same as you. the target audience of all (female) suggestive/nsfw figures is simply straight men. i'm not saying it's the only people who can own them, but it is who the companies have in mind when producing the figures and it is the largest part of the market. it reminds me a bit of when kpop stans think only gay 17 year olds stan their favourite girl group and then you watch a perfomance where the crowd cheering isn't filtered out and it's all 40 year old men. i'm not stoked about it either, but it is simply the truth.

ofcourse i've seen people reaching, it does happen on tiktok that people get overly sensitive/woke/whatever and blindly hate anyone who collects normal nsfw figures or anyone else who didn't do anything wrong. not every tiktok comment section is filled with the brightest minds of our generation (shocker, i know). i do however think it's a common thing, even with real life children, where people try to question something inappropriate and somehow get the blame. i saw this happen when mothers thought it was strange that target sells swimsuits for babies/toddlers with hip cut outs, and then people accusing said moms of being the weird ones for "thinking a children's swim suit is sexual". guys am i losing my mind. am i going crazy. the concerned mothers are not the problem here for pointing out a weird thing. why in god's name were the swim suits designed like that. can we get an ounce of critical thinking in the chat.

AND ANOTHER THING! sorry guys this is like 5 years of built up irritation you have to let me go for a moment. anyway LOOK at this same shit i saw yesterday. i will not share the video but it was a video of very young middle school girls wearing heavy (gyaru?) makeup, fashion, wigs and nails which was honestly already a bit baffling because it was so much on such young kids. they were all wearing that fashion trend where you wear low rise pants/skirt and then pull up your thong strings to the high heavens so they're on your hips and sticking out off your pants/skirt. not a trend i usually mind but these were very young girls and the whole look, the visible underwear especially, was very inappropriate for their age so people in the comments were uncomfortable. i took one single peak at the comments and had to leave for my own sanity. you guys cannot be serious.

and let me get this very clear: i have also seen people sexualise children doing normal things many times. both extremes are a problem. i think it's fucking weird to sexualise a child giving their parents a kiss or telling a child they shouldn't wear their bathing suit around their male family members, etc. however it is ALSO fucking weird for children to do/wear things that were specifically made for adults doing adult things (like wearing visible lacy thongs when you're in middle school) and no adult stepping in for the child's own safety. both things are weird and i hope everyone dies. anyway what were you saying anon? ah right, no i don't like loli figures either. not a fan.

send me your unpopular figure opinions

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

ok we (i) need ceo man gale to be absolutely RAILED in his office by his rival ceo husband (ysl what have you done to me)

This has lit up my brain like I’ve been plugged into an outlet 💡

I’m imagining that no one but their close friends knows that they’re married 😈 Everyone’s out here thinking they’re mortal enemies and they honestly encourage it.

So, maybe there’s a day Gale steals a big client out from under John and he comes storming into Gale’s building with this look on his face that has Gale’s employees scrambling because he looks pissed and they’re calling to warn Gale that he’s about to be murdered and he’s just like, “let him in 😏” and they knew Gale was cocky and kind of crazy but they’re mentally rehearsing what they’re gonna say on the 911 call when they find his corpse.

Meanwhile, John couldn’t care less about the client (they’re actually competitive as hell and stealing clients from each other is essentially foreplay but that’s not the problem here) he’s losing his gourd because he left before Gale did that morning and didn’t get to see Gale’s OOTD so when Gale stole that client’s contract and sent John a dramatic bitchy text to gloat followed by a sassy little selfie to show off his new suit…

John is absolutely unwell and has to fuck his husband about it.

So they lock themselves in Gale’s office and there is concerning noises coming from the office that’s got the employees wigging out but Benny knows what’s actually going on and forces them to walk away and leave it. It may sound like they’re murdering each other but really their just shoving each other into stuff while shoving their tongues down each others throats, knocking shit of the walls as they try to undress each other without tripping and pushing stuff off of the desk, and eventually knocking stuff off of the desk with how hard they fuck on it. They don’t even bother trying to muffle their moans and it takes 10 years off of Benny’s life but he’s used to it and just puts headphones in.

When John comes out he doesn’t even bother to try to look ashamed, he peacocks right out of that office. He might’ve lost a client that day but that man is definitely not losing when his husband looks like that.

All of Gale’s employees are understandably confused about what just happened.

[doomtrooper77]

When he came in about an 11 AM the restaurant wasn't that busy yet. But we were a high-end downtown spot and a go to lunch spot for the big-time businessmen. Hell, I have worked here for three years and while I make OK pay but much better tips, I still couldn't afford to eat here. He came in told the maitre'd he'd take a seat at the bar. This was one of those guys who very presence drew your attention. While he wasn't super tall, about 6'2, he was super wide. While he sat in one bar seat, his shoulders damn near took up half of each seat to either side of him. He was dressed in black jeans, black jeans, black logger boots, black leather club vest, various silver necklaces and big wallet chain hanging on his belt loop.

His heavy foot steps in those thick vibram soles made the silverware and glass vibrate as he walked past the tables to the bar in front the windows. The restaurant had a long bar with seating facing the outer windows. You could sit there and watch the world go by. Which is exactly what he did. My wimpy co-workers were scared to go serve him. I told them I would take care of it.

I walked over and asked him if I could get him anything. He didn't say anything at first, he was focused on the office building across the street. It was a big investment firm, lots of rich big wigs from there came and went all day and every day. Lots of them were regulars to the restaurant. Most of them stuck up assholes. A few seconds past and he turned to look at me. His eyes were like a tigers eye stone; the iris was a mixture of a rich brown to a glowing amber. It was like looking staring at some huge predator in the jungle.

I could tell his eyes did a quick appraisal of me, no threat. He said in a deep voice, "Let me a get a coffee and do you have some kind of breakfast sandwich or pastry". I was about to tell him, we did not do breakfast sandwiches. I said, "Absolutely. I will be right back."

I went into the kitchen and talked to the sous chef and told him what I needed. We were friends and before you know it, I had a plate of croissant sandwiches. Two Steak and Egg and Two Ham and very expensive cheese. I then added a plate of fresh baked pastries to the tray. With a carafe of coffee and headed back out. When I got to him at the bar, I sat the coffee down in front of him and poured a cup. I then sat the plate of sandwiches and the plate of pastries.

He frowned when he saw all the food. "Hey, I just wanted a sandwich.." He said, but I cut him off and said, "No worries, a big guy like you needs to keep his strength up." Those eyes looked at me again and the appraisal changed. He nodded said "Thanks."

I went down to the end of the bar where there were utensil and other items that needed prepping for the lunch rush. While I was working on that I watched him. Watched him eat, and he ate like a predator. Big healthy bites, watching his strong jaw and neck flex as he ate. When it looked like his coffee was running low, I walked back over to fill it up.

He sat there for an hour. The lunch rush started and all of the people in their suits and dresses came in sat down. Some noticed the big leather coated tattooed biker at the bar. Nobody sat down next to him. He had 3 seats to each side of him empty. He had that aura of potential menace that seem to keep people away. Me however, it was like a moth to a flame.

It was 15 minutes later when I noticed his body language change. His focus heightened at something out the window. I shifted slightly and could see 4 men across the street. Two were talking and the other two bigger guys were standing behind one watching. Bodyguards. I recognized the man.

I looked back at the biker at the bar. I could see his face had hardened. His aura of danger darkened. Me the moth was pulled closer to him, the flame. I watched him watch them. Soon enough three men, the guy with the bodyguards, got into a Mercedes and pulled away.

I could see the biker was done and ready to leave. When he turned to find me and ask for his bill, I was already there. "Is there anything else I can get you sir." I asked. "No, just looking for the check." I handed it to him. It wasn't small. $150 bucks for coffee and sandwiches. I braced myself for him to object, but he didn't. I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a folded fat wad of cash. I watched as his big gloved hand pull four one hundred dollar bills out the wad of hundreds and fifties.

"Keep the change." He said as he put it on the counter. He was getting up to leave and the moth flew into the flame. I touched his massive arm and he turned to look at me. The amber in those eyes were bright as he looked at me. I said, "Sir..." and leaned in. His eyes hardened slightly but he leaned in a bit and I spoke in low tones.

"He comes in three to four times a week. Usually lunch and at least dinner one night. He always sits at a table over there in the corner. Sometimes there is only one guard." I said in a voice just low enough that he could hear me. When I pulled back those eyes were staring at me. The brown and amber seems to swirl and pull me in. I felt like I was standing on a cliff. It was like he was looking into my soul. Then like before, I could tell the appraisal had changed. Before I knew it his big hands was stuffing something into the pocket of my shirt. He stood up and power swaggered out of the restaurant. People looked but didn't want to pull attention to themselves.

I caught my breath and headed to the back. His scent was still around me. It was like leather, musk, and bourbon'y vanilla. It lingered around me like a cloud. Fuck. It was a couple minutes when I remember that he put something in my pocket. I reached in and there was five folded 100 dollar bills. In the middle of the folded cash was a napkin with a phone number on it.

His smell encircled me as I realized I was dancing in the middle of the flames.

[anderii]

The accidental Lolitas.

Aiden and Sam had been gaming for a while it was time for some snacks.

Raiding the kitchen however proved to be very disappointing. There were no snacks too be had. Aidens parents were out shopping but wouldn't be back for ages.

My sister sometimes has snacks in her room said Aiden maybe we could raid her stash?

Just remember Aiden said don't touch anything, leave the searching to me, if she realises we have been in here she is gonna create a real stink.

What is with that dress Sam laughed is she going to a Disney princess party or something?

No man she's into some Japanese fashon, like kawai and lolita or some kind of stuff, just don't touch anything. She has all kinds of outfit, I think she spends every penny she gets on it and meets up with other girls for tea partie, that's what she's up to later.

Aagh I can't find anything, maybe there's something in the wardrobe.

Look at all these outfits this some kind of obsession she's got, I have never seen anything like them.

Oh yeah Sam, well I'm sure you'd look super cute in one, your scrawny enough to fit and I think pink is definitely your colour.

OK then let's see which one to try.

Wait i didn't mean it, don't touch anything, she will kill us!

Nope too late, give me a hand to do it up would you.

Ok but just take care and we have to put it back exactly how it was ok?

Yea ok, just give me a hand this is harder than it looks.

Hah told you it would fit, nice collar too, so how does it feel to be a princess then.

Its kind of nice, it feels sort of snug but in a pleasant way and it sort of swishes nicely. Hey why don't you try one, come on I'm sure we have time and if it will fit me it will definitely fit your weedy bod.

Oh ok but just for a minute, let's see what about one of the black gothic ones?

Yea that sounds sick, come on i can help.

Damn that's perfect so how do you feel ?

Its odd like you said surprisingly comfortable and kind of nice. Quick let's grab a couple of pictures and get them put away before sis gets home.

Oooh wait I'm going to try one of the blond wigs too, then we can be sisters!

Dude your getting a bit too into this.

Na just joking.

Ok couple more pictures then done OK?.........OK.

Oh don't stop on my account gurls....

Sis!! Um it's not what it looks like, we were looking for snacks and......

You both accidentally ended up dressed as lolitas. Year i can see how that could happen and I have the pictures and video to prove it. Ha this is glorious! Oh I'm actually glad my afternoon with the girls got cancelled and I came back early.

Please sis you can't post that there has to be a way to work this out,,

Ok if you promise to do what I want with you today then I will delete everything and call it even. But if you muck around this goes out into the world understand?

Yes ok, Aiden and Sam mumbled .

It took a while but the boys were cooperative and Jen had them both done up and in full lolita makeup she then dressed and did her own and she then had them pose for photos with her, just like 3 sisters she kept saying.

Oh this is too good an opportunity to waste come on sisters out to the car we are going out.

Aiden and Sam reluctantly headed to the car, it had been kind of fun posing in the house but this was a bit too much, they started to complain but Jen just held up her phone, and threatened to send her ever increasing set of pictures to her blog.

You two do look nervous come on, this is your first girly trip out you should be more excited, show me a bit more enthusiasm and while we're at it I can't call you Aiden and Sam so it's Eden and Samantha OK, remember those names I won't be reminding you again.

The guys tried to show a little enthusiasm but they were both getting very worried and not a little turned on by the whole experience.

it turned out they shouldn't have been worried, Jen took them to a lovely cake shop where they enjoyed afternoon tea.

You see, Jen said, this is what I would have been doing with my friends but unfortunately they had to cancel and when I saw you two I thought it might be nice to bring you instead.

So your not mad? Sam said.

Well I was a little at first but there is a long history of boys wearing Lolita clothing, they are often called Brolitas and today you are my brolitas, for the afternoon anyway.

Soon it was time to head home Aiden wanted to make sure he as back before his parents returned and he had to explain the whole thing to them, but he had to admit, although he had been panicking when his sister took them out he had a lovely afternoon and wondered if maybe they could do it again sometime.

Hi girls Jen said as she met up with her lolita friends for another afternoon tea, I would like you to meet Eden and Samantha, the two brolitas I mentioned in chat, they were wondering if they could join the group?