#needing help to get out of a situation

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I still can't get over how Eliot and Hardison do their "secret" handshake- even though Eliot is miffed that Hardison ate his sandwhich.

I still can't get over how Parker calls Eliot "Sparky," and he's scared enough to rip open his apple- because he actually thinks Parker somehow got a razor blade in it.

I still can't get over how Eliot tells Hardison that he won't help him if he goes to far with "Ice Man," and when Hardison calls him out on it- Eliot blames Parker.

I still can't get over how Hardison comes to Eliot when he needs help brushing up on wine.

I still can't get over how Parker goes to Eliot when she's looking for something to love and he teaches her to love food.

I still can't get over how Parker is allowed to poke and push Eliot.

I still can't get over how Hardison riles Eliot up and it's just reflex for Eliot to say; "DAMNIT Hardison."

I can't get over how they became a little family all on their own.

[chimerafeathers]

i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”

but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that

i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.

it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.

Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.

they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)

and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.

so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?

that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.

[nordenhelm]

Hello! Please take a moment to read🥺 My partner (@groovygrub) is in an urgent need of your help. He is disabled and autistic trans man who is under threat of being kicked out.

Carrd with info and donation links: https://helpcharlie.carrd.co Paypal | Ko-Fi Longer version under the cut. Reblogs appreciated!

Charlie is a 25-year-old disabled and autistic trans man in urgent need of your help. He is currently living in an extremely abusive household, where he faces continuous mistreatment. He’s being disrespected, restricted with basic needs, medical care and safety. And now, he is under threat of being kicked out, with nowhere to go and no means of support.

He’s already dealing with serious chronic illnesses (Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, seizure disorders, POTS, mast cell disease, gastroparesis, ME, trigeminal neuralgia, a history of pulmonary embolism) and his mental health condition suffered deeply from years of trauma. (He struggles with conditions such as depression, generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and CPTSD, as well as being autistic.) Living in this kind of environment is putting his life at risk.

Your help can give Charlie a real chance to escape this life-threatening situation and get somewhere safer, a place where he can rest, heal and actually live. Even a few dollars can make a difference. It could help cover emergency shelter, food, medical supplies and transportation.

If you are residing in the US and can help with anything else like offering a temporary shelter, a room for rent or transportation, please let us know! We appreciate any help you can offer!

Thank you for reading this and for your support!

[thewalrusespublicist]

Paul and Linda Interview from Hellllllll

@slenderfire-blog as the patron saint of good sources sent me this interview and I thought I would write it up as it gives a worrying insight into the famed idyllic marriage and Paul’s mental state at the time.

Reader, it was not idyllic and he was not doing well.

Disclaimer: For context, this interview is in his Broadstreet era aka the grief/midlife crisis/I cant have a meltdown if I’m making a film period. I fully believe that Paul was having an extended emotional crisis/breakdown post John's death/successive unresolved and badly handled traumas. (As I was saying to @slenderfire-blog, let's just say if he feels like crying every damn day about John in 2021, imagine how it was in 1985.) So yeah Paul is having a time and I look forward to McCartney Vol 3. for potential confirmation and illumination on this.

At the same time JESUS FUCK PAUL THIS IS TERRIBLE.

Like so bad, bad to the point I now feel like contemporaneous Peter Cox account is 1000% more credible as this is essentially the PR version of what he said. So let's get into the greatest hits:

The happy, definitely-not-in-trouble couple

They do seem to adore each others company, be locked in with each other and Paul does rely on her a lot for support and approval:

As they talk, Paul constantly squeezes Linda’s arm reassuringly, strokes her hand or looks to her for approval or agreement whenever he makes a point. The two are inclined to talk at once or to finish each other’s sentences. At times, the link is so tight, they seem almost like different aspects of one person.

Though at the same time they both describe the relationship as 'rather volatile' and full of arguments where they go and sulk in different rooms. They lightly play it off but then Linda says a bit too seriously that shes usually the one who gives in first :/.

Paul built the house they live in and are sort of obsessed with cosplaying living the 'peasant' lifestyle with no help save one housekeeper Rose who is from Paul's bachelor days and the occasional babysitter (as far as I'm aware this is true).

The marrying thing in 68 was so intense he even asked lil HEATHER to marry him what the hellllll (of course he wasn't serious but it does feel like another way of indirectly pressuring Linda to commit). He also kept asking Linda until she gave in.

Random swipe in the baby name department at Zowie Bowie, lmao not friends with the Bowies then (good thing Duncan Jones happens to agree).

They romanticise the bickering and volatility as being like passionate young lovers

“My parents were married for 25 years and they were like young lovers,” says Linda. “Paul’s parents were the same. If you’re lucky, you get that in life. You see, those are the kinds of things that matter to me—not the diamond necklace.”

Paul:

Paul is clearly not okay and seems to be regressing by trying to recapture his childhood through his current situation. Throughout the interview Paul keeps going back to his parents marriage and his childhood as the ideal frame of reference. This is pretty standard but Paul takes it to the extreme of this meaning no friends, family only and the wife do all of the labour.

This (save the misogyny) is a far cry from his 60s revolutionary kick but I can see how this happened in the wake of the Beatles split, the trauma and complex grief from John's death and the press. In response and defense to the criticism and hurt, Paul seems to have retreated wholly within himself and his family sphere and is coercing Linda into fulfilling the role of the wife within that. Take for example, his portrayal of the housework and why Linda should like to do it:

“Linda really doesn’t like housework,” Paul explains, “because when she grew up, her family had maids and she wasn’t taught to do anything. But it’s something I’ve tried to tell Linda about because in the kind of family I’m from, housework is considered a pleasure—the smell of ironing and the laundry. Where I’m from, once a week, the women would sort of get the laundry out and smell the washing and feel it and see it and iron it all, and they’d be chatting or listening to the radio. It was like a peasant thing. It was an event, like treading on the grapes.

It's bonkers and infuriating and at first I was like I DONT KNOW PAUL IF YOU WANT THE PLEASURE OF SMELLING DETERGENT SO BAD YOU CAN DO THE BLOODY LAUNDRY. But then you realise how Paul connects it with comfort, especially with comfort after a bereavement:

“Growing up in Liverpool, that was always there for me. Even after my mum died, my aunties came around religiously every week and cooked and cleaned the house and did the laundry and provided that kind of atmosphere for us.”

It's romanticising the poverty he grew up in but also signifies to me how much it's a coping mechanism. He wants Linda to do the laundry and have that idealised maternal domestic atmosphere as in his head if you have that then you can carry on even in the face of cataclysmic loss.

Denny Lane's comments about Linda being like a mother to Paul feel really pertinent here. Reading all this has kind of reinforced to me this idea I've had for a while that Linda's maternal attributes was one of the foundational pillars of Paul's attraction to her and an essential part of their marriage. In another interview I'll post another time, he says they never went on holiday without the kids, with them taking tiny Heather on their honeymoon. It wasn't just tours, the kids really did go everywhere with them when they could and they made sure the children's bedrooms were just next door to theirs so they could be there all the time. It's great, wonderful parenting but also with the genesis of their relationship it's really hard not to see Linda and the promised family as the replacement to fill the hole from the Beatles. Not saying that he didn't go on to adore them and them be the pinnacle joy of his life but yh ... once you see it it's hard not to unsee. (Also the thing I've always been too scared to say/wild speculation again I don't know these people ... but I think they would have always had these problems until Paul actually reckoned with his mothers death/other traumas.)

Thinking about it all as well, it must be so hard to essentially cosplay the culture and background you grew up in with wealth and class separating you from everything you used to intimately know

Aggressive optimist Paul telling a very different story here (is he more honest here, more depressed, or maybe somewhere in the middle?)

“I’ve got all these contingency plans. I tend to look at the worst side of things. I’ll say, ‘If they turn us down, we’re going to do this.’ If anything hurts me, I want to fight it—so it doesn’t hurt me again.”

Nothing to add just ... ouch.

Reinforcement of John refusing to let Paul hold Sean because Paul 'didn't know him' ... which yh that is some bullshit its a baby. Paul goes onto mention how John wasn't great with babies as he had no experience whilst he had and somehow makes it borderline a competition lmao.

HALFWAY THROUGH I REALISED THIS WAS THE INFAMOUS PLAYGIRL 'JOHN SAID JEALOUS GUY WAS ABOUT ME' INTERVIEW. I NEVER REALISED LINDA WAS THERE.

Not him essentially saying 'in hindsight maybe Linda needed a lot of lessons' for Wings and admitting he just wanted her there. They both seem to accept it as something that wasn't fair to expect of Linda with no training.

He does this embarrassed little giggle like 'oh I may be a chauvinist YES YES YOU ARE SORT YOURSELF OUT.

Linda ohh my GOD Linda girl

She has rings around her eyes from exhaustion

Gets up at 7am to do the breakfast every morning despite going to bed late

Said she didn’t want to get married again initially as she had been controlled by men all her life until then

Says her kids are her best friends and that she never had a friend until she moved to Arizona later on (this is interesting to me that both Paul and Linda both saw themselves as 'loners' in childhood even though interviews from people in Paul's childhood repeat that he was popular. Maybe this was a narrative in their marriage or maybe Paul always felt internally lonely).

Qualifier here: I also don't think the best friend thing is true, there are a few people that pop up over the years who say they were very close to Linda and one did a lovely interview with Paul post Linda's death. I think the whole 'family is all you need schtick was part cope and part PR.

From apparent tradition Paul says that he doesen't tell her how much he's worth and their money situation as 'his dad didn't tell his mum' (even though his mum was integral to financially supporting the family may I remind you Paul). Linda girl listen I can make you happy I can give you a good life and treat you to nice things come with me Linda-

Theres one point where Linda PANICS because Paul mentions the supposed socialist uprising potentially taking all their money because HE WON'T TELL HER WHAT THE FINANCIALS LOOK LIKE. THIS FUCKER (also socialists Paul you're a northern liberal get a grip you class traitor)

They both romanticise living frugally with Linda not buying any nice fancy things ... its hard not to remember Peter Cox's account of Linda asking to borrow money when reading this :(((((

Linda's idea of a luxury holiday is not having to cook and clean and she can have fun :( Paul then interjects with 'yh that's great for a bit but not all the time as isn't it nice to have the family all in the kitchen!!' I'm sure Linda would agree if you actually helped Paul.

In summation: he needs help and a slap, she deserves a statue but would probably prefer a sit-down. Thank god there’s a lot to suggest that Paul has improved massively when it comes to his view on women and labour (wouldn’t have married a working businesswoman if they hadn’t) but this is still a difficult window into how things were in the 80s and the life that campaigners like Yoko were fighting against.

[swordsofsaturn]

early seasons spn homophobia is actually so crazy because they literally do not look gay. hamfisted gay jokes when the characters look straight as hell. "you look the type" they literally don't. is the thing

[shepscapades]

Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?

Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>

[pwurrz]

quincy, sighing heavily: “alright, what’s going on? you’re making yakumo upset.”

dante, being even more blunt than usual: “what, like that’s a hard thing to do? he cries all the time anyways, most likely it wasn’t even my actions that upset him.”

quincy:

dante, suddenly hearing boss music: “…r-regardless of my intentions, my commentary was unnecessary and i probably hurt his feelings. i should.. apologize.. to him.”

quincy: “hm. good choice.”

[perplexingly]

.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime

And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"

Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun

Please.

[pespillo]

they did say the easiest way thru a guy´s heart is thru the stomach

[the-punforgiven]

Hey, I'm really sorry to have to ask y'all, but my family and I are being evicted from our home and we can't really afford to live anywhere else.

We've been saving up for a while and we've found a place we can almost afford, but we're still short about $4,400. So like, if you have anything you can do to help I'd greatly appreciate it, but like, I get that times are tough all around so I totally understand if you don't

Here's a link to my paypal, but like, please only donate if you've got the cash to spare, I don't want anyone to go hungry on my account

[somegrumpynerd]

Me drawing something silly

[itz-pandora]

Thank you guys for dealing with me

[eatsbooksarchive]

If Eris meets someone and instantly realises that they are his mate, he knows nothing else of the person, how would he go about it?

i think he would try to take that shit to the grave — theirs or his. the one romantic relationship he is most readily exposed to throughout his life is fraught with abuse, despair, and unwillingness; the open romantic and sexual relationships his brothers participate in look a lot like subjugation; their secret ones, the ones that are genuine and sacred, are under constant threat of exposure; and we all know what happened to jesminda. not to mention being mated to him means becoming an external vulnerability, a heart beating outside of his chest, aching for a hand to reach out and crush it — and there are so many who would see him crippled in such a way. even beyond that, there’s the hostility a mate would experience amongst the autumn nobility. not while he was around, of course, but if they were ever left alone with all of the fae who wanted so desperately to ascend to power alongside the scion of autumn. so there’s obviously a lot of reasons he would keep it secret, all of them selfless, even if in the selfishness of the act.

but i do think, in the dark of the night, when the forest house is quiet and none are awake to scent the weakness on the air, he lets himself feel it — the second heartbeat, just outside of his chest. beating much slower than his own, as though in sleep. he imagines what they look like in repose, how they might nestle deeper into their pillow with a furrow between their brow as a dream stirs them towards waking, how he might like to lean forward and press his mouth to it until they settled, there, in the dark, where no one would know but him. and then — and then a servant creeps into his study to tend the hearth, which the ones loyal to him know not to do because he does not like to be disturbed and prefers to do so himself, which means this one is not loyal to him and is here to catch glimpse of what the heir is up to and report back to whoever sent them. (could be beron, could be a brother, could be a high-ranking noble who despises him, could be a high-ranking noble who hopes to slither into his bed. doesn’t matter much anymore.) the fantasy lives and dies in that moment, until the pressures of his life close around his chest once more and he must steal another reprieve from the heartbeat beyond, then it lives and dies there over again, again, again.

because the kindest thing eris vanserra can imagine doing for a mate is ensuring they never, ever know.

[buckbuckleyscouch]

crazy to me that eddie was an entirely reasonable level of frustrated at his friend acting genuinely insane and unfair and now some people are trying to stab him with knives about it.

[mistyscenter]

Cove every time he talks about being uncomfortable In social settings/not being able to properly express his feelings because they become too much for him:

Me: I know what you are (autistic)