#neil every 5 seconds having her do something that makes no sense: 'she's so stupid ^^ ' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

willowbird · 4 years ago

Note

For the prompt thing, could you do 2 for au, 4 for trope and 5 for prompt with andreil?

Hogwarts au, meet messy, "you have the emotional capacity of a brick"

Dearest anon, how did you know that I have been literally aching for an excuse to do something with a hogwarts au?

For context, because idk if I'll be able to explain it in the ficlet, Andrew and Aaron have been raised by their real father, Joseph Minyard, and his wife, Betsy Dobson, since the twins were seven. Andrew instinctively retaliated against an abuser with magic when he was in foster care, bringing him to the attention of whatever the US's ministry of magic is called (I forgot). They found his dad, who is a British wizard, and also discovered Aaron's existence. The twins, upon meeting each other and finding out they were wizards, chose to stay together and go with their dad rather than risk potentially being separated in whatever system the US magic people has for orphaned magic kids.

(look, I've been thinking about this A LOT okay?)

The following scene would take place the summer before the twins' fifth year. They are fifteen, Kevin is sixteen, Neil is fourteen.

Please be aware that all these characters are a lot younger and significantly less traumatized. I mean, shit still happened to them, but they all get rescued from their abusive home lives a lot earlier than in canon.

---

Andrew Minyard had lost a bet.

It was a really shitty bet, and Andrew should have known at the time that he was being fucking set up. But, well - what was it that broody fucker always said? Oh. C'est la vie. Or something. Whatever.

Point being, Andrew made a stupid bet and then he lost and it was really his own damn fault. Now he was stuck going to stupid Kevin Day's stupid house to play stupid broom-ball over summer break when he could have been basking in the wonders of muggle efficiency like television and air conditioning. What made it worse was that his mom had been so damn delighted that he was going over to a friend's house, too, and Andrew didn't usually have it in him to smash her hopes and dreams when she was so genuinely happy for him.

So. Here he was, broom in hand (because if he had to do this he was at least going to suffer with the familiarity of his own fucking broom), staring up at obviously haunted creaky old manor house that Day apparently lived in.

"Great," he grumbled to himself. "Just.. great." Andrew did not like ghosts, did not like them one fucking bit. They always wanted to chat you up and had absolutely no respect for personal space.

The longer he delayed, though, the longer Day was probably going to force him to participate in his bullshit "training camp", so Andrew straightened his shoulders and trudged up the cracked stone staircase that lead up the hill to the front door of the house. The very second Andrew had both feet on the dilapidated front porch, one hand reaching for the knocker, the front door began to swing slowly open. You know, as they were wont to do in creepy old ghost-infested houses owned by wizards.

Without waiting for a welcome (because the door fucking opened for him, that was invitation enough), Andrew strolled inside. He didn't even flinch when the door slammed shut behind him.

(Okay, maybe he jumped a little bit. Just a little.)

No one was waiting for him in the foyer, because of course that would be too easy. At least the inside of the house didn't look as abandoned as the outside did. On the contrary, the foyer was well-lit and free dust and cobwebs. It opened up into a round sitting room that looked lived-in rather than haunted, personal affects strewn about here and there in vaguely organized chaos and family pictures on the mantle above the fireplace.

This, Andrew had learned quickly upon his introduction to the magical world about seven or so years ago now, was fairly common when it came to magical families living in and around muggle neighborhoods. Sure, there were wholly wizarding villages, but not a ton of them. Most of the magical community had to coexist or at least peripherally exist with the muggle one. With the work of a couple of charms and a heavy dose of aesthetic, a magical family could live comfortably without the muggles looking too closely - and even if they did look closely, it was the haunted old house at the end of the street so strange things were bound to happen around it, right?

Homey as it may be on the inside, it was still actually haunted, though. Andrew had a good sense about ghostly lairs and this was definitely one of them.

Heaving a sigh, Andrew moved through the sitting room and ventured deeper into the house. The sooner he found Kevin, the sooner he could leave.

The rest of the house, Andrew swiftly found, was an uncanny combination of the haunted image it presented to outsiders and the cozy haven of the front sitting room. The hall leading off the sitting room was normal when you looked down it heading away from the sitting room, but when Andrew looked back over his shoulder it was like looking into something out of a cheap horror film (of which Andrew had viewed many, much to his father and brother's chagrin, but his mother liked to critique them with him).

Andrew checked each door he came across. Some of them were locked. Some opened into perfectly normal coat closets and bathrooms. At least one of them opened onto an actual cemetery where a bunch of ghosts were playing croquet. Andrew quickly shut that door before any of them tried to talk to him.

It was when he came to the staircase, however, that he finally started to get somewhere. Voices could be heard when he hit the first landing, but they completely vanished when tried to move beyond it - either further up the stairs or out into the hall. Turning to inspect the walls, Andrew realized that one of them wasn't actually a wall at all, but an illusion -- his hand right through!

"This is getting ridiculous," Andrew grumbled to himself as he stepped through the goddamn fucking wall.

He found himself in a wide, clean hallway bathed in the bright sunlight that was streaming in from the skylights placed every few feet. From one of the open doors a bit down the hall, Andrew could finally make out the words of what was obviously an argument.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going to your bloody school, Day?!"

"You can't just not go to school, Neil! The Ministry will have your wand, and then where will you be?"

"Oh come off it, do you really still buy into all that regulatory shit? They can't track me if I'm not a student unless they have an open warrant out on me. I could turn the corner store into a giant anthropomorphic pig that pisses coffee and they wouldn't know it happened until the story hit the local news, and even then they'd have a hard time tracking me down, considering those lazy twats barely even know how to read let alone track a rogue wizard."

"Galloping Gargoyles, Neil. Where in Merlin's name do you come up with this shit."

"It's called an imagination, Day. I was able to foster one while not being indoctrinated into the sheep-brain miasma that is Ministry-approved wizarding society."

This 'Neil' was getting more worked up as he spoke, spitting out his words like he was crafting a very pointed hex. There was the scuff of footsteps and a shadow fell across the hall as someone stepped toward the hall. "I'll be leaving now, thanks. Have fun being institutionally programed to fit the conservative mediocrity."

A larger shadow blotted out most of Neil's. "You can't just go, Neil!"

There was a scuffle, then a short kid wearing oversized robes stumbled into the hall. "Try and bloody catch me then, you lumbering infant of a Bandersnatch!" And then the kid turned and bolted down the hall -- right toward where Andrew had paused to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Now, Andrew was all ready to step aside. This was none of his business, after all. If this mouthy kid wanted to run away and join the circus or something, more power to him. He, also, thought school was a nightmare. But then Kevin stumbled out into the hall and shouted, "Andrew! Block him!"

And, well. Look. This was all fucking Kevin's fault. Kevin and his stupid cross-House quidditch club and his obsession with running drills. It was also Nicky's fault, for forcing them all to go so they could bond or what the fuck ever the purpose was. But Kevin shouted 'block!' and Andrew had spent two years as a beater and one year as a keeper and, well, reflexes kicked in.

He blocked.

Except, he had spent two years as a beater, and he was holding a broom. So.

His arms moved on their own, and it was a mighty, vicious swing. The next second the kid was flat on his back, gasping to try and catch his breath. Kevin loped over on legs too long, shooting Andrew an appreciative grin that Andrew kind of wanted to punch off of him.

"What.. the.. actual... fuck..." the kid - Neil - wheezed from the floor.

Now that he was officially drawn into this mess, Andrew allowed himself to indulge his curiosity and slung his broom up against one shoulder to approach the fallen boy. He felt a little bad (okay, more than a little), so he figured he'd offer him a hand up at least. Except, when he got to the kid and looked down he was shocked to find just about the prettiest boy in the whole Nimue-cursed universe.

(Andrew's gay awakening had happened when he was twelve years old. The keeper of the Gryffindor quidditch team smiled at him and told him he'd make a pretty good beater. Andrew had tried out for his own House team the very next week, and it had all been downhill from there.)

Andrew cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something cool and unbothered, because that's what you did when you met someone pretty and wanted to impress them. Instead, like the utter dork that he was, he said, "Red hair and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley."

"What the fuck is a Weasley?" the sharp, pretty boy on the floor shot back through gritted teeth, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Kevin's obnoxious shadow fell across the both of him and he sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "Don't mind Andrew, he remembers everything he hears and has a tendency to regurgitate random lines from other things when he feels awkward or anxious."

"Don't mind Kevin," Andrew followed up conversationally, "he's an insufferable know-it-all with a tendency to overshare and force people to play stupid broom-ball when they should be having a perfectly air-conditioned summer break."

"You emotionally wound me."

"You have the emotional capacity of a brick, don't try me Day."

Kevin rolled his eyes. Neil honed in on Andrew with eerie intensity. "You have an air-conditioner?"

Aha! Mission accomplished: cute boy impressed.

Andrew smirked. "Yup." He popped the 'p', feeling quite good about himself, his earlier bumble placed in the back of his head where he could obsess about it later.

Neil's narrowed eyes scanned him up and down, then relaxed, the blue of them bright and intelligent. He looked like he was figuring something out about Andrew but Andrew had no idea what or why. It took some effort, but instead of squirming he met Neil's gaze full-on. After a long moment, Neil seemed to have made a decision. He pushed himself up to his feet and nodded. "Alright then. You play quidditch?" He gestured to Andrew's broom with the jerk of his chin.

He hadn't noticed it earlier because he'd been so fascinated with the argument itself, but now that he could focus on Neil's voice, Andrew realized that there was something of about his accent. It wasn't that it seemed fake but more that it... it reminded him of his own, back when he'd been younger and had only been in England for a couple of years. He remembered being teased for it, and getting into a lot of fights because of that. Well, he remembered getting into fights because Aaron was also teased, and no one picked on his brother but him.

"I thought you were going to run off and join the circus." Andrew arched a brow.

Neil wrinkled his nose. "No. I'm still not going to your stupid castle school." He paused and looked from Andrew to the broom back over to Kevin and sighed. "But... one or two games of quidditch before I go can't hurt."

Kevin looked overjoyed. He grinned at Andrew and Andrew supposed that they really must be friends now, because he felt quite pleased about that.

"Great!" said Kevin. "Let's go! We should be able to get in some warm-up rounds before the others get here!"

"Others?" Andrew and Neil said with identical inflections of disdain. The sound of an echo startled the both of them and the looked at each other. Then, Neil smiled.

Andrew supposed a day without AC playing stupid broom-ball wasn't so bad after all.

Fun little prompt things

#asks #ficlet prompts #aftg #aftg fanfic #andreil #hogwarts au #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #andrew minyard x neil josten #did this turn into more of of a meet-cute?#meet messy #meet cute

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whats-rambled-rambled · 5 years ago

Text

Stuck in reverse - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Okay, let’s talk about it!

Sam Smith – Fix you

I remember crying to the original song (by Coldplay) back in 2005. Whoo boy, lots of teenage feelings!

I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith’s music, but one day I was just driving home from work and this song began playing on the radio and by the end of it I could barely see the road.

// When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? //

That one line – stuck in reverse – felt just so perfect for a story set in the universe where people invert themselves back and forth.

It became one of the three main songs that inspired me to write the whole damn thing, and also the only title in the story that is not a title of a song as well.

Chapter 1: Ben Platt – Ease my mind

This is one of the songs I have on my daily playlist, I just love it, and the lyrics are so fitting:

//Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest There are thoughts that I can’t put to rest There’s a worry that I can’t place

Most nights, I am restless and quiet won’t come So I lay there and wait for the sun There’s a trouble that won’t show its face

You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice//

We learn more about the nightmares in the next chapters, but it all starts here. That melancholic vibe stuck with me for the rest of the story I guess.

Bonus song: Lewis Capaldi - Before you go

The combat scene in one song, or at least what I imagined was going through Reader’s mind at that point.

//I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace ‘Cause now that they’re gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal but this won’t//

Have you ever felt that way? Trying to hide your broken heart under anger? I don’t know, it just resonated deeply.

The second part of the song kinda seeped into the next chapter:

//Was there something I could’ve said To make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather

//Would we be better off by now If I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we’ll never know//

Chapter 2: Kaleo - I can’t go on without you

Another song from my daily playlists (side note – I saw Kaleo once live on a music festival and they were mind-blowing, you should really check out more of their work).

It worked with the story because of its desperate and painful mood.

Bonus: Calum Scott - Dancing on my own

Holy shit, I FELT this one. (Been there, done that). Of course I had to write it into Reader’s past. Actually, I wrote it first and then found the song, but it doesn’t matter, that’s the flashback scene right here:

//Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? And there’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around And yeah, I know it’s stupid But I just gotta see it for myself I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? And I’m giving it my all //

Chapter 3: Billie Eilish – Bad guy

No feels, pure bop. This song is so BADASS, I really needed to get that vibe into the undercover mission, I didn’t want Reader to be an emotional mess and nothing else, you know?

Bonus: Tones and I – Dance Monkey

I shit you not, I’ve had that one on repeat for the dance scene. There is something incredibly seductive in that beat, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Bonus: Kings of Leon – Closer

It just makes my heart clench and leaves me breathless.

Chapter 4: Ben Platt – Bad habit

Ah, that was the moment when I cursed at myself for using Ease my mind for chapter 1, but we already talked about it.

Even though this song is very emotional, it’s not that heartbreaking, you can hear a faint smile here and there and it just makes my heart sing.

And oh my god, those lyrics:

//You always said that I’d come back to you again ‘Cause everybody needs a friend, it’s true Someone to quiet the voices in my head Make ‘em sing to me instead, it’s you Hate to say that I love you Hate to say that I need you Hate to say that I want you But I do Bad habit, I know But I’m needin’ you right now Can you help me out? Can I lean on you? Been one of those days Sun don’t wanna come out Can you help me out? Can I lean on you?//

They just work with that plot, you know?

Bonus: Dodie – Sick of losing soulmates

Another song that just resonates with the story.

//What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be If you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark A dumb screenshot of youth Watch how a cold broken teen Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof

What the hell would I be, without you (what the hell would I be) Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

'Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me So how do we win?//

Chapter 5: Adele – Someone like you

The whole damn sunset scene + this song on repeat = feels

The pain in her voice? God, it just reduces me to a puddle of tears.

Reader could just sing it at some point to Neil almost word for word.

Bonus: Passenger – Let her go

Okay, the case of that one is quite funny, because I kinda needed to figure out how to get from point A to point B of the chapter, and I was browsing Spotify looking for „campfire songs” or something like that. Of course I’ve heard this one before, but I’ve never actually focused on the lyrics.

And oh boy, suddenly it all became clear.

Headcanon time �� in my head, Wheeler and Neil are close friends, she treats him a bit like a younger brother, I just can imagine they know each other very well at that point. Of course she knows hows about his past. Of course she heard about Reader. And she thinks they are both silly babies and they should just kiss, right? That’s why she chooses that song.

Those lyrics – they fit Neil’s backstory so damn well.

//Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go//

And he was stupid enough to let her go. Because his timing was off.

Those lyrics are also perfect to make Reader think about his ex-girlfriend, because of course that is what you’re gonna it’s all about.

Bonus: Del Amitri – Tell her this

Ahh, there it is – the second out of three main songs for Stuck in Reverse.

I remember the moment I found out that Rob Pattinson sings and writes music, then I listened to some of the songs and my heart went whoooosh. So I just had to make Neil play a guitar, I just needed to find out what song would be The One.

Do you remember that flashback about them both watching a tv show on his couch? Here, you’re welcome.

I recently started rewatching Scrubs and when I got to that episode – ding, ding, ding!

This is the ultimate “hey, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m an idiot and I love you.”

Chapter 6: Imagine Dragons – Next to me

I adore that song. It warms my heart. I think it fits Neil and Reader’s relationship.

And I needed all the fluffy feelings to switch the tone of the story to something lighter.

Bonus: Michelle Branch – Everywhere

This one is a silly bop, and it always puts me in a good mood. A nice song to listen to when you are happy, in love, and you are making breakfast.

Bonus: Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of me

This one (same as the one before) came to me from Zach Braff’s workout playlist, haha. I mean I almost forgot about it, but it makes me smile every time I hear it, and the lyrics work nicely:

//On a Monday I am waiting Tuesday I am fading And By Wednesday I can’t sleep Then the phone rings I hear you And the darkness is a clear view Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts

It seems like I can finally Rest my head on something real I like the way that feels It’s as if you know me better Than I ever knew myself I love how you can tell All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me//

Bonus: Kaleo – I want more

Is there such a thing as a warm melancholy? Because that is a vibe I get from that song.

//Turn back, leave all you had Forgive, I’ll forget 'Cause what we need is what we once had Time won’t stand still Just say you will 'Cause I need you there and now

If you leap, I’ll come falling too Running deep 'til that rivers through I don’t mind what you have to do 'Cause I won’t think less, less of you

Yes, I want more, more Looking for more I want more, more 'Cause I want more

Old grounds Feels like the weight has been lifted away So don’t you leave me there wanting more//

Chapter 7: Ben Platt – In case you don’t live forever

I mean it’s not my fault that Ben’s songs make me FEEL things, damn it.

The whole damn song = utter heartbreak when you think about Neil coming back to Reader before he goes back to Stalsk-12 to open that damn lock.

//I, I’ve carried this song in my mind Listen, it’s echoing in me But I haven’t helped you to hear it We, we’ve only got so much time I’m pretty sure it would kill me If you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you

I’ve waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me

In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth I’m everything that I am because of you//

Bonus: Charlene Soraia – Wherever you will go

Why am I doing this to you? Because we all like pain.

This one is for the scene on the deck:

//So lately, been wondering Who will be there to take my place When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would I’ll go wherever you will go Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out A way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you//

Bonus: Rhys Lewis – No right to love you

No light, only pain and suffering.

//'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn’t wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do//

Bonus: Knox Brown x Gallant – Reignite

This song is just so incredible, it makes my palms sweat and my mind going places. Yep, it was on repeat.

Oh you know which scene this one is for.

Bonus: Freya Ridings – Lost without you

The last dialogue. On repeat. Because this song breaks my heart and leaves me a sobbing mess.

//Strangers rushin’ past Just tryna get home But you were the only Safehaven that I’ve known Hits me at full speed Feel like I can’t breathe And nobody knows This pain inside me My world is crumbling I should never Let you go I think I’m lost without you//

(OI, SPOILERS)

Chapter 8: Florence + The Machine – Never let me go

I have only one thing to say:

Fuck you, Nolan.

Third out of three.

//And it’s over and I’m going under

But I’m not giving up I’m just giving in

Oh, slipping underneath So cold and so sweet

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all And the questions I have for a sinner released In the arms of the ocean deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go Never let me go, never let me go)//

Bonus: Sasha Sloan - Dancing with your ghost

Suffer with me.

//Yelling at the sky Screaming at the world Baby, why’d you go away? I’m still your girl Holding on too tight Head up in the clouds Heaven only knows Where you are now

How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

I stay up all night Tell myself I’m alright Baby, you’re just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I’m dancing with your ghost Every night I’m dancing with your ghost//

#stuck in reverse playlist #stuck in reverse #bts stuck in reverse #im gonna make yall suffer with me

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

Text

You & Me : chapter 7

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: that evening together will end in the next chapter! it makes me so happy to get all your comments and asks, so thank you times a million. im always super excited to update this because of you guys, so thank you, ily!

here are a few requests!

(SPOILERS OF THE CHAPTER)

Chapter 7 : His chapter

NIALL

I remained awake for hours, just laying on my back in the dark as Heidi was sleeping. I could have thought about the tantrum she threw or how I was going to comfort her in the morning but the truth was, the only thing that was obsessing me was the almost-kiss I had had with Olivia. I grabbed my phone on the bedside table and went back to our conversations. It was short, pretty much the opposite of how we used to text each other, and I licked my lips as I stared at my screen. I wanted to text her even if I knew it was a bad idea. I felt like we had to talk about what had happened or more about what hadn't happened.

'I'm sorry I hope you're okay'

I stared at the words and sighed before deleting it and typing again.

'Can we talk? Coffee tomorrow?'

I blinked a few times and this time, I just raised my eyebrows and shook my head as I deleted my words again.

'The song is about you.'

This time, I stared at my words longer. I didn't have a good way with words and communication was never my biggest strength, hence why I focused and counted on writing songs to let out my feelings, but I was not sure it was a good thing to let her know. Most likely, she already knew that. After all, I had written a whole album about her already, and I made it clear I still had feelings for her, didn't I?

I had my thumb hovering over the 'send' button as I held my breath but I was not sure I had the courage to actually click on it. I don't know how long I stared at the screen but I frowned slightly when my phone started vibrating in my hand, showing Louis’ smiling face, his two middle fingers up. I rolled my eyes with a chuckle, remembering he was the one who had actually picked this picture, and got out of bed quietly. I walked out of the room and closed the door slowly before answering him in a low tone as I walked to the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Hey mate, were you sleeping?"

I opened the fridge and grabbed milk before getting a glass.

"No." I sighed. "Sorry again for earlier, it was a mess."

"Don't worry about it, I think some of us had too much wine." he brushed it off. "I was just calling to know if everything was okay. Did Heidi keep yelling at you?"

I sighed and turned around, pushing my glass of milk further and leaning my elbows on the counter as I closed my eyes.

"She didn't, and yea i'm okay." I said before pressing my lips together. "How's she?"

I didn't have to say a name, I knew Louis understood immediately who I was talking about. I felt bad that she had to go through my girlfriend's outburst but it was not really surprising when it came to Heidi. After she sat on me a few times and kissed me at random moments, I realized why she had proposed this dinner. She just wanted to 'claim' me as hers in front of Liv. If I had known, I would have been clearer with her before our guests would have arrived that I didn't want too much public display of affection but knowing Heidi, it wouldn't have changed much.

"I don't know." he finally admitted. "I mean, i'm at El's right now."

"You left her alone?" I felt something in my stomach stir, trying not to show that it upset me but I was pretty sure it showed.

"Mate, i'm not her mother. Olivia is a big girl, she can take care of herself. Besides, she's not alone."

I held my breath at his words and shut my eyes tighter. Of course she was not alone, what did I expect?

"How do you know?" I just grumbled low, making Louis chuckle.

"I texted her to ask her if she was okay but she just said she was with Dylan. You know what that normally means."

"I don't want to know."

It was one thing to know that sometimes, she had sex with her boyfriend but to know exactly when it happened made me feel sick. I put my glass in the sink and walked to the front door, opening it slowly and walking outside. The air of the night was cool and I shivered slightly as I stared up at the sky.

"You still love her, don't you?"

His words, especially after such a long moment of silence, seemed to slap me hard.

"Yes." I let out as I sighed, shaking my head and closing my eyes again.

"She's getting married, Niall." he added firmly. "What are you gonna do about it?"

When Louis called me by my name, I knew it was getting serious. I rubbed my eyes hard and sighed again as I realized how tired and exhausted I was. I had been in contact with Olivia only for a few days and everything was already a mess. I was a mess and so was she, I could see it in her eyes earlier, in my room.

"We.. we almost kissed." I admitted low, passing my hand in my hair.

"Fooking hell, Niall."

The way her lips had brushed against mine, her breath on my skin, the way she smelled... all of this was driving me insane, and the worst was that I realized it had nothing to do with sex. It was just her. She had that effect on me.

"She's the one who stopped it."

It made me realize that if we had kissed, Heidi would have caught us, she would have yelled louder, she would have told everyone and she would have broken up with me. Yes, it would be an even bigger mess but that way, Liv and I would have had a chance. I shook my head at this disgusting thought, ashamed of myself for even hoping for it just a second.

"I know you're confused, Niall, but I swear on my life, if you hurt her again, i'm gonna fucking kill you."

"Louis, I would never-"

"No no, no. I was the one who picked her up, okay? Not you. I was the one who heard her cry every fucking night because you broke her heart to go fuck with half the town. I was the one who lived with her, who saw it all." he let out rudely, making me hold my breath. "I saw how far she's come. I saw her get stronger, more self-confident. I saw her get a smile back, allow someone else in, I saw her turn into a queen. You weren't there, Niall. You have no idea how tough it was for her."

"It was... it was tough for me too." I argued, grimacing at my own words.

"So tough that the next day you had your prick buried in some random fanny." Louis said bluntly as I closed my eyes. "Don't make this about you, Niall. You broke up with her and now you regret it. I get it, I've done the same stupid thing, but for different reasons. You just can't come back and mess up the life she built without you, at least not if you're not sure it's exactly what you want."

I remained silent because there was nothing else to say, nothing to add, nothing to argue about. Louis was right, I didn't know what she went through and I was the only one to blame for this. Did that mean I had to give up?

"Look, Neil, go to bed okay?" Louis proposed after sighing. "We all need to sleep on that."

"Okay."

"Just make sure that you do that because you really love her, and not because you can't stand to see her happy without you, or because you want to prove to yourself that you can."

I shut my eyes tight and felt my heart jump in my chest as I pulled on my hair. It was not that at all and I knew it. I thought about her every single day since the night I broke up with her. I never stopped loving her, not even a second.

"'Night mate, sleep well."

"You too, Lou."

We hung up and slowly, I walked back inside and let myself fall on the couch. I lied down and put my arm over my face to hide my eyes as I felt them tingling. I swallowed hard not to make a sound but I felt myself tear up and turned around to face the back of the couch. It was ridiculous, I didn't even know why I was crying. All I knew was that I needed it.

---

I woke up to the sound of dishes clinking and footsteps. I groaned, turning on the couch and sighing until I realized it was impossible to fall asleep again. My eyes still closed, I sat up before rubbing them and finally turned to my girlfriend who was moving quite fast around the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"A shake." she just said without looking at me. "I'm a bit late, I was supposed to work out this morning."

I grimaced and finally got up slowly, walking to the kitchen to make coffee. She leaned against the counter to finish her drink but I could feel her eyes on my nape as I grabbed a mug. I didn't want to turn around to face her, I didn't want to have a discussion. All I wanted was a cup of coffee and my phone.

"Did you sleep well, alone on the couch?"

I shrugged and slowly walked away to grab the sugar and milk, making sure I didn't look at her.

"I couldn't sleep last night, came in to watch tv and fell asleep on the couch." I explained, looking at the brown liquid falling in the pot. "Could have been worse."

"The tv was not on." she pointed out.

"I woke up in the middle of the night to turn it off but was too tired to get up and get back in bed." I replied with a frown, finally turning to look at her. "What's this? An interrogation?"

"You want a real question, Niall?" she asked, taking a step closer and putting her glass on the counter. "Did you kiss your ex girlfriend last night?"

I was surprised at how forward she was and at the same time, I felt relieved. All that mattered to her was what I did, and not how I felt. I would have had a hard time answering a question about my feelings for Olivia, but my actions were clean, at least for now.

"No, Heidi. I didn't kiss her."

I kept staring in her eyes as she was studying me and I could sense that she was not sure if she should believe me. I couldn't blame her, I was very close to kiss Liv. Hell, if she had wanted me to, I would have kissed her without a second thought.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted, but I still think it was inappropriate of you to be together alone in the same room." she admitted with a small shrug, grabbing her glass again and drinking what was left in it. "She's not your girlfriend anymore, and she's not even your best friend anymore. That best friend relationship you two had has died with your romantic relationship. It can never be the same, and you both can't expect Dylan and I to accept it."

I stared at her and felt my heart sink in my chest. Was she right? Was everything I had built with Olivia in twenty years over because of a mistake I made? Was I holding onto something that would never come back?

"I'll be back later." I jumped when I felt my girlfriend's lips against mine and shook my head lightly. "Love you!"

I watched her leave and licked my lips, knowing I should answer her but not really wanting to. She waved at me and sent me a small smile that I answered before letting myself fall on one of the chairs, my face in my hands. How was I supposed to forget about the only girl I ever fell in love with? How could anyone expect me to get over her?

----

I decided not to call Olivia and wait until she would reach to me. I knew that when we almost kissed, it had changed things between us, I just wasn't sure what had changed and how. Did she hate me now? Would she decide it was better if we didn't see each other anymore? The first day, I was checking my phone every half an hour, just in case I missed it, but it had been three days and I was losing hope. That's why I glanced at my phone and groaned when I heard my phone ring. I sighed but finally reached for it, feeling my heart skip a beat when I realized it was her.

"Hey petal, how are you?" I just said, trying to sound casual.

"Hey Nee, uhm, look, I've got a problem." she admitted in a low tone, making me frown. I sat better on the couch and waited. "We don't have power here and they say it won't be back before tomorrow. I have this super important scene to write and I just.. I was lazy, and basically, i'm last minute. I'm supposed to e-mail it to them before morning. I know your girlfriend may not like that but, would you mind if I came by for a few hours and worked at your place?"

I felt my heart jump again in my chest and licked my lips.

"Heidi's not here, you can spend the night." I proposed. Silence. "I have a guest room."

"Oh. Uhm, are you sure it's alright?"

My lips curled and I cleared my throat, squirming a bit on my seat.

"Yes, of course. Do you need me to pick you up?"

"No, it's cool, thank you so much, I'll be there in half an hour."

I felt suddenly nervous when we hung up and I just got up to change the sheets in the guest room since no one really slept there ever. I walked around the place to be sure everything was alright and finally checked in the fridge for a bottle of wine. I found a white one and brought it to the living room just as the doorbell rang. I saw her stand there, biting her bottom lip, with her bags on her shoulder, her purse in one hand and her laptop bag in the other.

"You're my savior." she just said when our eyes met, shaking her head slightly. "They'll kill me if I don't send this damn script."

My lips curled more and I chuckled low, moving to let her in. She stepped inside and let her bags fall next to the couch before turning to look at me. I watched her from afar and realized how perfect the sight was : only her in my living room. This is exactly what I wanted.

"It's my pleasure." I just said before she smiled and grabbed her laptop. "You don't write all the scripts alone, do you?"

I saw her grimace as she placed her laptop on the coffee table and turned it on.

"Not really. I write a draft, they check it and change a few things. We have to agree on everything, that was part of the deal. I didn't want to let them change my whole story you know? I needed a veto right."

I walked closer and poured us a glass of wine and she thanked me after taking a long sip. We both sat down and I leaned my elbows on my knees to be closer to her as she stared at her screen. I knew I shouldn't bother her but I couldn't help it.

"I'm surprised you called me." I let out. "I mean, i'm surprised you asked for my help."

She glanced up at me and grimaced.

"The truth is, you're the fourth person I call." I raised my eyebrows, feeling a bit hurt, but tried not to show it. "There's no power at El's either, Harry and his girlfriend are gone to London and Julie wasn't answering."

"Oh."

"Sorry Niall... To be frank, I thought your girlfriend was here and last time I saw her she yelled at me so I wasn't too keen in coming here but I was desperate. Where is she?"

"She's uhm." I sat better and rubbed my eyes slightly. "She's gone for the weekend. Just filming an episode of a new tv show."

I noticed her face change a bit, her smile faltered, her eyes dropped and she licked her lips. I wished I could decipher what exactly that meant and she sent me a sad smile. Why did she seem disappointed in my answer?

"Dylan's gone for the weekend too. Just a meeting to talk about that new movie and all." she explained with a shrug. "Can't believe he'll be gone for weeks after that. And in Australia, too. What's so great about Australia anyway?"

I chuckled and shrugged. "Where to start?"

"I heard about how good the women look, you can skip that part."

"Is that something that bothers you?"

She looked up and her sad smile turned into an amused one. She chuckled and shook her head, grabbing her glass again and taking an other sip. I watched her and suddenly she seemed to glow exactly the way she did when I saw her at the bakery. It made me want to grab her face and kiss her. It made me want to take her on that damn coffee table. It made me want to fucking marry her.

"Naa, not at all." she admitted with a shrug. "If the person i'm dating leaves me for someone else, they were just not meant for me. I'm tired to be jealous and scared. No matter how I feel, if they have to leave, they will. It doesn't matter if I cry, or get jealous."

My lips parted at her answer and that's when I knew exactly what Louis meant when he said he saw her turn into a queen. She was the same Olivia I knew, that much was true, but the girl I knew was now a woman, and the way she thought was sexier than I thought it would be. That confidence she didn't have before turned me on physically but also emotionally. I was in love with a queen.

"What?" she wondered with a chuckle. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"N-No I mean, I just didn't expect that answer."

Her smile faltered and she looked back at her laptop, her fingers running on the keys quickly.

"You're part of the reason I think like that, Niall." she confessed in a low tone as she kept typing quickly. "I gave you all of me and you left anyway."

Something twisted in my chest and I swallowed the guilt that seemed to go up in my throat. She was right but that was a very painful lesson to learn, and I was the one who hurt her that bad. I always knew it but hearing it from her mouth seemed to hit me even more.

"You were never the problem." I admitted after a few minutes of silence.

She stopped typing and breathed in and out without moving, her eyes still on her screen. I wanted to get closer to her and take her in my arms but I didn't dare. In fact, I felt like I didn't have the right to touch her at all.

"You left, Niall." she explained, shaking her head lightly. "That's pretty much the only thing that matters. I did believe the problem was me for a very long time, no matter what everyone told me. But now, the only thing that remains is the fact that you left. If Dylan does the same thing, whether it's for an other girl or to be single, then he will."

"He won't." I just said, realizing that this fact actually hurt me.

"I don't think he will either." she agreed. "But I didn't think you were going to leave and you did. I mean, I didn't think I'd lose your friendship."

"I realize now that I was wrong but, when I broke up with you, I thought you hated me." I explained. "That's why I disappeared."

This time, she turned her head and we looked at each other again. I could see the light from my lamp reflect in her sad eyes and I glanced down at her lips when she licked them before looking up back up. She seemed so strong yet vulnerable at the same time and all I could think about was that I wanted her to be mine again.

"I never hated you, Niall." she whispered before clearing her throat. "That's always been my biggest problem."

I was about to tell her that I never hated her either, that i've always loved her, that actually, I was still in love with her and always would be, but she cut me with a fake smile and a shrug.

"I really need to finish this, can you give me an hour or two?"

I swallowed my words and nodded, grabbing my phone to check stuff online. I didn't want to turn the tv on in case it would distract her and make it harder for her to write, but I couldn't help and glance at her from time to time. Watching her write was always something interesting to me. She made faces, shook her leg nervously, licked her lips, groaned and grimaced... She didn't even realize what she was doing, and witnessing it made my heart swell with love. I could swear I turned into a teenage girl whenever she was around and I could barely handle my feelings.

After exactly an hour and fourteen minutes, she groaned and leaned against the back of the couch, rubbing her eyes and yawning. I put my phone away and stared at her as she stretched her arms and finally sighed.

"It really sucks, but i'm sending it anyway."

"You're got all night, no worries."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes before bending down again and clicking on something quickly.

"My mind is blank. I'm tired. It's sent."

I grabbed her glass and filled it again before handing it to her and she smiled at me. We kept quiet as we drank a bit, enjoying the silence of the evening but after a while, I took my phone in my hand again.

"Pizza?"

"Fuck, yes please." she replied with a laughter, making me smile even more.

I ordered quickly and grabbed the remote to turn the tv on. We watched a funny tv show but all I could do was focus on the way she laughed. I was so happy she was there with me I could barely believe it. I've never been a firm believer of that but, was that fate? Was someone or something giving me a second chance? Or was I just seeing into this too much? Because when you really want something, anything can look like a sign of destiny, right?

"D'you think you can get us more wine?"

I smiled and nodded before quickly getting up just as the doorbell rang. I turned to her and raised my eyebrows, shrugging a shoulder.

"I'll get the wine, you get the pizza." i proposed. "My wallet is on the table next to the door. I think I've got a few bills left."

She nodded but rolled her eyes and left while I reached the kitchen, searching for an other bottle or white wine. When I walked back, I watched her as she turned off her laptop and put it away, replacing it with the pizza. I stood in the door frame just staring at her pushing her hair out of her face and over her shoulder as something stirred in my stomach. I never needed her more than I did in this moment and although I knew it was wrong, I knew I needed to find a way to get her back. It was not about winning, it was not about proving to myself that I could, or being pissed that she was happy without me, like Louis said. No, the reason was deeper. I wanted to spend my life making this girl happy, and only her. I had the deep conviction that not only she was my soulmate in this lifetime, but in every fucking lifetimes and alternate universes you could think of. We were meant to be. I knew it. And when she turned to me to send me a fond smile, I knew that she shared the exact same certitude.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #i just want to write the next chapter tbh :X

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staticscreenwriting · 6 years ago

Text

All you have to be is here - Part 8

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who has a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 8 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7

Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you ♥

Attention ! If you wanna be tagged pls send me a message or an ask it’s easier and faster for me than going through the tags of each part every time. Thank you :)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

Mötley Crüe is playing from the headphones connected to his walkman as Billy takes a few hops the stretches his arms in preparation.

The air is sizzling with excitement and anxiety. An all consuming scent of rubber and sweat and deodorant washes through the halls and the cluster of boys get ready to face off against another team.

Billy has been allowed back on the team after a short suspension. It’s not that the coach has such a soft heart or that he feels in any way sorry for Billy. Really if this was any other situation, Billy is sure he wouldn’t be allowed back on. Thing is, Billy is their best player and everyone’s well aware of that.

Neil always says things are only worth something if you’re the best at them. Anything else doesn’t matter. Billy vividly remembers one time in 3rd grade when he won second place in a track and field competition. It was just for run really but the 3 best runners got a little trophy. Billy was so proud of himself. So full of confidence and joy to take home this small little plastic trophy. Neil scoffed at him, threw it right in the trash. Second places don’t mean shit, Billy.

Work harder, Billy.

Stop disappointing me, Billy.

He shakes his head trying to rid himself of the memories. Repressed childhood trauma is not something his mind should be lingering on right now. He needs to get his fucking head in the game.

The boys all huddle together in the center of the room as Coach Bell enters, clapping his hands together to get their attention. Billy takes his headphones off and stores the walkman in his locker.

His eyes sweep around the room, wandering from one teammate to the next. He should be feeling some kind of connection to these boys, they’re his team. His mates. Though this isn’t a coming of age movie is it ? This is real life and sometimes in real life you have to face the facts that you don’t give a shit about your teammates and that high school basketball isn’t the epic bonding experience the movies like to make people believe it is.

He lets his eyes wander towards Coach Bell, a tall burly man with a receding hairline always hidden beneath a baseball cap and a bushy mustache. He loves to portrait the fatherly mentor type. The down-with-the-kids, BBQ-on-a-sunday kinda guy. What he really is though, is an asshole who likes to project his own teenage dreams and failures onto the team.

It doesn’t matter though, not to Billy. Bell was a good coach and Billy was a good player and that’s all that matters.

The next 10 minutes consist of encouraging words and awkward group huddles and some kind of stupid chant to get them all hyped up for the game. Billy can slowly feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins. This is his game, everyone else is just playing along.

The crowd is bustling with excitement as the team enters the court. They’re all clad in greens and oranges, faces painted, waving tiny flags and holding up signs. It places a smirk on Billy’s lips. To have people cheer for him, it feels euphoric.

His eyes scan the people, and although he knows he’s not gonna find the face he’s looking for, his heart still holds onto that teeny tiny spark of hope that one day he might. He’s mentioned the game a few times during dinner, has purposely left a flyer on the kitchen table and one pinned to the fridge.

Neil isn’t there though. He never is. He probably never will be. This isn’t worth his time, Billy isn’t worth his time. Basketball just ain’t no Baseball.

Billy has to bite his lip, trying to keep himself from getting riled up over something he can’t change. This really is no place to get lost in his anger towards Neil.

As he takes another sweep across the crowd his eyes land on a pair of familiar ones and his heart takes a leap in his chest. Suddenly all the resentment that has been cursing through him just second before, is gone and replaced by unfiltered pride and confidence.

She’s giving him one of her radiant smiles, one that just demands for you to smile back. So he does. (Y/N) points down at her shirt and only then does Billy notice she’s wearing his team colors. A team that’s technically the rival of her own school team.

He likes knowing where her loyalty lies.

The timer on the board is counting down mercilessly as the tigers get the ball, moving towards the goal.

Matt Carraway has the ball, passes it to Tim Johnson who passes it to this new guy named Chris but he’s not gonna make this shot, everyone can see that much.

Billy’s free and Billy is the best player and when he meets Chris’ eyes, a silent understanding is reached. Chris passes the ball. It feels heavy in Billy’s hands, whatever moves he makes next determines if they win or lose this game.

All eyes are on him now, he is awfully aware of that. The weight of this game rests on his shoulders as the clock is counting down.

He pushes himself off of the shiny gym floor, trying to channel all his anger and frustration into this jump, this throw. His mind flickers back towards something Dr. K has said, something that they have told the kids at the center. “ Take the bad and make something good out of it “.

Take the rage and channel it into energy. Score these fucking points.

The ball leaves his hands and he knows it in. There’s no doubt in his mind when the crowd goes silent, so silent you can hear a needle drop, that just a second later they will be cheering, they will be jumping off their seat and clapping up a storm and it will be for him.

The ball falls through the basket and hits the floor just as the buzzer sounds and just like Billy’s predicted, the crowd goes wild.

A certain sense of disbelieve mixes with his pride, this is just fucking high school basketball. But then again, it gives him a feeling of pride, of doing something right. Even if it’s not baseball. Fuck you, Neil.

Billy is vaguely aware of his teammates clapping his back and pulling him into euphoria fueled halfway hugs. Though his eyes firmly search for one person and one person only. When he finds her, he raises his arms above his head and lets out a cheer himself. Who cares if his dad is here, as long as she’s sitting on the bleachers in his team colors, smiling that smile that makes him weak in the knees.

It’s then, when their eyes connect and the world around him seems to melt into the background, that a pair of arms wrap around his neck and a pair of lips collide with his. It’s not the lips he wants to kiss though. These lips don’t taste like cherry coke and too much sugar.

Billy pushes the girl away and she looks at him with confusion written all over her face. She’s one of the cheerleaders. A petite girl with gorgeous ginger curls and big brown eyes. Billy before (Y/N) would’ve loved this. Winning the game and getting smooches from a beautiful girl.

Lately that’s not what he wants though, he doesn’t want to kiss other girls, just (Y/N). exclusively (Y/N).

“ What ? Billy did I do — “ the girl questions but Billy isn’t listening. It’s like her voice vanishes in the euphoria of the crowd, creating a chaotic melody.

What she has to say, doesn’t matter. What does matter, Billy thinks as his eyes wander back over towards the bleachers, is that (Y/N) knows the truth. Thought where just a moment ago a pair of eyes looked back at him, now there’s only a a deserted space and a knot growing in Billy’s stomach, hoping that he hasn’t just had a first class seat to ruining his — relationship ?!

He wants to follow her, see where she’S gone and try to fix what has just been cracked by a kiss he never asked for. A kiss he never wanted. The gym is stuffed with people though, a cluster of humans he’s unable to maneuver his way through. With every second he gets more and more upset more and more frustrated. This isn’t how he wants today to end. With a sad girl and a broken heart.

There’s eyes following his every move, admiring him. He is well aware of the attention resting on him right there and any other day he would relish in it. Not tonight though. All he wants right now is a shower and to get the fuck out of here to explain the situation to his — his girl.

A loud chatter still sounds from the inside of the gym and Billy pushes through the side entrance of the school and steps outside into the chilly nightair, hair damp from the shower.

His hands desperately fumble around his gym bag, looking for the pack of cigarettes he’s sure he’s thrown in there sometime before the game. Though he stops when a voice speaks out to him.

“ Good game, pretty boy. “

She looks like an angel in the moonlight, he thinks. Ethereal. The jacket she’s wearing, the denim one, is tightly wrapped around her frame, shielding her from the cold winds of a fast approaching fall.

That denim jacket — it’s his. One he purposely left at her place one he discovered she liked wearing it. Her place, where his toothbrush now rests in a little cup by the sink and where there’s a drawer specifically for his clothes. Her place that feels so much like a home.

“ You’re here “ he chokes out, the words feeling bitter on his lips. Of course she’s here. (Y/N) doesn’t run from problems. Doesn’t just leave when things go south.

He feels kind of ashamed he even thought she would just leave. Not her. Never her.

“ Of course I’m here. “

“ (Y/N) I — “ he says, ready to grovel, to beg and plead and explain, though he doesn’t the chance. (Y/N) shakes her head and softly cuts him of by placing a loving kiss on his lips.

“ I know. I saw you push her off. I just — “ he sighs and combs a hand through her hair “ I was so angry at this girl kissing my boyfriend I just had to leave otherwise I probably would’Ve punched her and I — I really didn’t wanna do that. It’s more than enough having one fighter in this duo “ she laughs then kisses him again.

No matter how casually she slips it in, Billy notices the term boyfriend being used. He wants to ask her if she truly means it, if she’s sure that’s what she really wants. He wants to remind her than he’s been with quite a lot of girls but that he’s hardly ever been a boyfriend. Not since 6th grade and back then it was all just a childish fantasy. He wants to tell her all that, but he doesn’t. It would only complicate things right now. This is neither the time nor place to have long serious talks about their relationship and what they mean to each other.

And maybe he wants to be a little selfish too. Enjoy the fact that she trust him even when things don’t seem to go in his favor. That she wants to be with him. That she likes him enough to call him her boyfriend. Maybe just for tonight he’ll decide to believe her words. That you don’t have to earn love, don’t have to be deserving off it. Maybe for tonight he’ll just let her love him and love her in return. No questions asked.

“ Really ? Aw man I would’ve loved to see that. I bet you have a mean right hook. That just put some real sexy images in my head “ he jokes then buries his head in the crook of her neck placing hot kisses on her skin.

“ Billy ? “ another voice calls out to him, pulling him out of his euphoric bliss.

When he looks up, Billy is faced with yet another redhead, only this one is quite a bit smaller and way more familiar. She’s flanked by another girl who’s stuffing her face with nacho chips and looking at him and (Y/N) with curious eyes.

“ Max ? “

“ I just wanted to congratulate you. That was — a really good game. “

“ Thanks “ he says but notices her eyes keep flickering towards (Y/N).

“ Uh — this is (Y/N) “ he says, motioning towards her.

“ Oh that’s (Y/N) “.

He hates the teasing edge in her voice and for a moment he thoroughly regrets every telling her about his girl. Though he must admit, Max had been nothing but sweet about it. Helpful and honestly interested. She genuinely cared about his date. Had been nothing but kind when Billy did nothing to deserve her kindness.

“ (Y/N) this is Max — my sister. “

It’s the first time he’s ever called her this without ulterior motives, without it leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. This is his sister whether he likes it or not. Maybe it’s time to start seeing the good and ignoring the bad because none of the bad is Max’s fault in the end.

(Y/N) shakes hands with Max, asks her a few questions, gets friendly with the two girls. Maybe this is what his future could be like, Billy thinks, a beautiful girlfriend and a sister that’s a pain in the ass but who’s also fiercely loyal and protective over her family.

Maybe this is the family he needs. Fuck Neil. Fuck mom.

This is all he needs.

“ That sounds awesome but I think Billy wants to go party with the team. Right, Billy ? “ (Y/N) asks, shaking Billy from his daydream.

“ Huh ? “

“ I said I think you wanna go party with the team tonight ? Celebrate your win. “

Honestly, Billy didn’t give a shit about the team. Hawkins parties were usually boring as fuck and especially those thrown by Tim Johnson. Usually he went anyway, because as bad as the parties were, they were loud and he could pretty much always count on some girl being there that would at least blow him. Booze and loud music and a warm body always managed to take his mind off of the shitty situation at home. Could numb his breaking heart for a few hours.

He has a new way of coping now. One that looks at him with gorgeous eyes full of love. One that cooks him breakfast even though she’s horrible at it and gives him space in her closet. Hawkins can keep it’s parties if only he can keep his girl.

“ Nah, not really feeling it. “

“ Really ? Huh. What do you wanna do instead ? “

Have sex with you for the entire night in various ways on various surfaces. He thinks. But there’s two middle schoolers present and though he can be quite crude this is crossing the line, even for him.

“ I don’t know. What do you wanna do ? “

“ Well … “ she says, a small smirk pulling the corner of her lips upwards as her eyes move towards the two girls.

Oh no. What has he gotten himself into.

Hundreds of sparkling lights are illuminating the fairgrounds in vibrant hues of red and greens and blue. There’s music and laughter coming from every direction and the smell of cotton candy and candied apples carries heavy through the air.

Billy used to love going to the fair. Whenever things at home were particularly bad, mom used to take him to one of the many boardwalks along the west coast to go on rides and eat their body weight in candy.

Sometimes they would drive for hours just to check out one they hadn’t been to before. They’d ride the ferris wheel and win little trinkets at the game booths and challenge each other on the bumper cars. Billy remembers begging his mom for just one more ride on the merry-go-round, just one more.

She always let him go at least 3 more.

And they’d laugh and cheer and eat so much cotton candy they’d almost throw up.

But he was happy then. So so happy. And mom was smiling. Even though, thinking back now, Billy wonders if her heart was breaking even then. If maybe she was just good at hiding it. But she was smiling and she never did that at home.

Those are some of his happiest memories and walking onto the Hawkins fairgrounds makes them all come crashing down on him like rain in a thunderstorm.

Max and El quickly disperse to somewhere else and (Y/N) grabs onto Billy’s hand shyly almost timidly. As if she’s not sure whether or not this is okay.

It is okay though. It’s more than okay and he wants her to know so he pull her closer, throws an arm across her shoulder and kisses her softly on the head.

“ Where to first ? “

“ Hmm … “ she wonders “...how about the merry-go-round ? “

Glancing down into her eyes, Billy can’t help but admire the way the lights reflect in them, like tiny multicolored stars, like fireflies dancing on a resting river. His heart does the weird flatter things again. It’s strange and unfamiliar but he’s growing to like it. He’s getting used to the fact that someone can make him feel an emotion other than fear and anger.

He loves this girl and the girl loves him back.

“ Merry-go-round it is “ he agrees and quickly drops a kiss on her lips. He decides then, that her lips are his favorite taste.

“ Which one do you want ? “ Billy asks (Y/N) who’s tucked into his side as they approach one of the game booths. He’s purposely steered them towards the basketball game. Firstly because he’s already won a game today and secondly because he knows the ways in which this game is manipulated which in return mean he knows how to outsmart those and win after all.

(Y/N) eyes wander along the wall filled with stuffed toys one looking cheaper and uglier than the next. There’s a pink plush bunny about the size of a small dog. It has black buttons for eyes and a loopy smile stitched onto it. (Y/N) points it out to him and says “that one. He’s looks so cheap and so sad. I gotta give him a loving home. “

And it’s ironic really, how his girl has a heart so big she chooses the ugliest and most sad looking plushy just because she feels bad for it and thinks it deserves a loving home.

“ Alright babe. I’ll get you that bunny, you just watch”

Billy pays the clerk and gets handed 3 basketballs as (Y/N) jumps up on the little ledge and watches him with childlike wonder. He throws her a wink, moves the ball from one hand to the other and back, trying to get a feel for it. He knows this ball is way overinflated and probably has a hard time fitting through the hoops as it is. Not to mention the hoop is most definitely oval shaped.

The only way to win this is a high shot straight into the hoop, if it bounces off the board it’s game over.

Billy takes a deep breath, lines his shot, exhales and — makes it, earning him a kiss on the cheek from (Y/N) and applause from the people nearby.

“ You’re doing good, baby “ (Y/N) cheers and for a moment he feels like he’s back at the Santa Monica pier with his mom, who said those exact words when he first attempted the hoop game.

He only made the first throw but it didn’t matter, his mom was proud anyway and he got a little heart shaped keychain as a consolation prize. He gave it to mom and she had it on her key ever since. Billy wonders if she still has it. If she looks at it sometimes and thinks about him.

Shaking those thought off, he lines another shot. Makes another shot.

2 out of 3.

Another kiss and another cheer.

One last time he lines up a shot and gets it in, making the crowd cheer and earns him a bunch of kisses all over his face.

A disgruntled looking clerk hands him the bunny and Billy hands it to (Y/N) as they walk away from the booth. This feels good, this feels like the movies always tell you it’s supposed to feel. Being young and being in love.

She’s smiling, Billy is fairly sure she hasn’t stopped smiling all night. Her lips taste like cotton candy and funnel cake and with the air growing colder she cuddles closer to his side.

He wants to stay in this moment forever. Content. Happy. Free.

“ Hey, “ he says and nudges her a little before nodding towards the ferris wheel “ you wanna go up ? “

(Y/N) bites her lip in consideration, he can tell she’s unsure about it.

“ What ? Are you afraid of heights, baby ? “

“ Nooo “

It’s an obvious lie. He thinks it’s adorable.

“ Come on, babe. You can hold onto me real tight and I won’t even slip the guy a fiver to make us stop at the top so we can makeout. “

She takes another deep breath, looking up at the ferris wheel. Billy can almost see the gears turning in his head.

“ You know, “ (Y/N) starts and cuddles further into his side “ I’ve been taking quite a few risks when it comes to you and so far I don’t regret a single one. Let’s do this. “

It makes his heart soar. To know that she doesn’t regret being with him. She’d have all the reason to. Everyone seems to regret him after a while. He hope she never does.

“ But promise to hold me though. “

“ Always, babe. Real fucking tight. “

Hawkins looks different from up above. Quieter. Peaceful. Almost — beautiful.

Maybe it’s the magic of this evening or the perpetual enchantment (Y/N) brings to his life but this is the first moment since he’s moved here, that Billy feels completely content. 100% at peace.

“ This is terrifying. Tell me something to keep my mind off of things “ (Y/N) mumbles and hides her face against his arm.

“ What do you want me to tell you ? “

“ I don’t know, let’s play 20 questions. “

“ What are we ? Teenagers ? “

“ Yeah, Billy. We literally are. “

It’s then, that Billy realises how far removed he feels from people his age. Tragedy and sadness and fear make you grow up faster and the make you grow bitter and despite being the center of attention, Billy never felt like he belonged when going to parties. He always felt like watching the world around him move and dance and be teenagers while he was playing his part and then went home to where misery lived and anger and pain.

This feels different.

This feels like he’s finally living his life. Finally he gets a few moments where he can be 18 and silly and goofy and fun. With his girl in his arms.

“ Okay, I go first. If you could see any band live, who would it be ? “

“ Easy, Queen. No doubt about it. “

Billy shrugs “ okay answer. “

(Y/N) scoffs “ Okay. You don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re the best. Anyway, my turn. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to be ? “

His mind immediately wanders towards California, the beaches and the sun and the feeling of home. Thought there’s a shift in his emotions lately. Home feels closer now. Feels like it’s bound to her not to California, not to a place.

“ Right here with you “.

That earns him another kiss on the cheek.

“ What’s your favorite thing about me ? And you can’t say my dick because that’s fucking vulgar and there’s families around “ Billy jokes, successfully getting a laugh from her.

“ I wasn’t gonna say that. “

“ What, is it not good ? “

“ It’s great just — It’s not my favorite thing, goofy. My favorite thing about you is your smile. And I know this sounds cheesy as hell but you have a great smile. It’s phenomenal. So radiant. I love your smile. “

I love you, he wants to say but can’t bring himself to.

“ Have you ever been in love ? “ (Y/N) asks.

Billy thinks back to California and a time when he thought he knew what love was. There was this girl, her name was Grace and she was gorgeous. She knew how to surf and how to throw back 4 tequila shots and still looks good doing it. She was funny and charming and she kept Billy on her toes. But she also didn’t get him. She got upset when he was late for dates and she didn’t show any interest in Max. She laughed at him that one time he mentioned he was able to play the piano.

She was never his girlfriend and now Billy thinks that’s a good thing because he was never in love after all.

“ Before now ? No. “

“ What about now ? “

Billy gently cups her face and nuzzles his nose against her. Their lips are so close he can feel her skin against his, her breath mingling with his.

“ I’m in love with you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Think you should know that “.

Kissing on top of a ferris wheel feels different. Maybe it’s the stars shining above or the ocean of colorful lights sparkling below but something is different.

Or maybe it’s the fact that for the first time in his life Billy’s told a girl that he loves her and she says it back.

“ I am 100% sure I’m in love with you, pretty boy. “

Whatever it is, it feels magical.

The gravel crunches underneath their boots as (Y/N) and Billy make their way towards her car, the bunny is tucked under her arm and he hand is holding onto Billy’s as he’s chewing away on the candied apple she so desperately wanted and then had been unable to finish.

“ Hey, pretty boy ? Thank you for tonight. I got to feel like a real teenager for the first time in a long time. I got to see my boyfriend win a basketball game, get jealous over a stupid cheerleader kissing him, spend time at a fair. It just — it was wonderful. Thank you. “

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t know how to. So he pulls her closer and kisses her head and he hopes she knows that he feels the same.

There’s a big crowd of men in their path, yelling and howling and scuffling around and it makes (Y/N) terribly uneasy.

“ Think we should take another way around them ? “

“ That’s the only way to get to your car, babe. Don’t worry I bet it’s just some stupid high school kids. Maybe some drunk truckers. It’ll be fine. “

But things aren’t fine, are they. There’s a sinking feeling in Billy’s gut. Like something is about to happen and destroy the magic of tonight.

They get halfway past the group as their huddle opens and one of the men falls against one of the booths right in from of Billy and (Y/N), as the crowd roars up in a sickening chant of mock and laughter before they wander off.

The man’s face is severely damaged. There’s a cut above his eye, his nose is swollen and there’s blood coming from his mouth. They really did a number on him.

Billy is about to walk on as (Y/N) pulls him back, rooted firmly in place.

“ Babe, whu— “

“ Billy, “ (Y/N) chokes out, voice timid and scared “ that’s my dad. “

@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx / @bippity-boppity-boopa / @mcrmarvelloki / @silver-winter-wolf / @thecrowclubsmanager / @theroyalbrownbarbie / @salemlysi / @sarai-ibn-la-ahad / @asheseiler / @stra-vage / @ssstutteringbbbill / @biliyonce / @addictofsupernatural / @angelophany / @charmed-asylum

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic

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kar3npage · 6 years ago

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Like Real People Do

The Foxes might not be fully supportive of their relationship for a long time, but it slowly becomes obvious that these two sharp boys are incredibly soft for each other. 5 times that Andrew and Neil are soft for each other, and the one time that all of the Foxes see it.

Another 5+1 because I love writing them, and more fluff because I just want Neil and Andrew to be happy. Some of it may be ooc, but who cares? I'm just here to have a good time.

Read on AO3 here

1. The change room is as loud and exuberant as it always is before practice. Kevin was announcing something to the group, though none of them were listening to him, and Matt and Nicky were having a friendly argument over which Hollywood Chris was the best looking. Jack was doing his absolute best to suck up to Kevin, who barely noticed the first year hovering around him. Aaron wasn’t sure what brought his attention to his brother in the first place, since he never was a part of the craziness that usually took over the change room when everyone was in it at the same time. Perhaps it was because Neil wasn’t coming up with any smart comments to Kevin’s speech, or messing around with Matt. No matter the reason, Aaron’s attention was drawn to the corner that held Andrew and Neil. Normally Andrew would be changed already, watching his groups back while they messed around. Today he hadn’t even started changed and Neil was standing beside him with a wrinkle in his brow. Aaron hadn’t noticed a difference in the car, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Plus, he still struggled being able to tell the difference between his brothers different emotions. A part of him hated that Neil was able to read Andrew so easily when he had never gained the skill, and he doubted that he ever will. He caught Neil's eye and raised an eyebrow, tipping his head toward Andrew. Neil shook his head gently. A bad day, then. Aaron moved slightly closer to the corner, until he could hear Neils quiet voice. “You don’t have to be here today if you don’t want to. You know that, right? I’ll keep an eye on Aaron and Kevin.” Aaron held in a scoff. If he needed someone to keep an eye on him, it would be because he was going to murder Neil for his smart mouth, not because he would be in danger. Despite that, Andrew seems to relax a bit at the promise. “What do you need from me?” Neil says gently. He’s half changed already, since he still changes his shirt out in the bathroom. Aaron isn’t sure why, everyone knows he has the scars by now. “Do you want to call Betsy?” Aaron looks up abruptly, waiting for Andrew to pull a knife or something for the assumption that he needed help. He doesn’t though, just slumps toward Neil a bit and shakes his head no. “Okay. Alone time? We can all find a ride back with Matt and Allison.” Neil doesn’t sound pitying or sympathetic, just matter of fact. Aaron is still trying to figure out how Neil knows what to do. He never would have noticed how Andrews eyes seems miles away if no one had mentioned it. Andrew still doesn’t respond, but that doesn’t faze Neil. “Maybe you can set up and organize the bookshelves we got.” To Aarons surprise, Andrew relaxes a bit more and nods. Neil smiles a bit at that. “I’ll keep my phone with me, call me if you need anything. Or Betsy. Or Renee.” Andrew gives Neil a look and he laughs a bit. “Yes, I charged it. I’ll answer if you call.”

There’s a moment where the two have a silent conversation before Andrew grabs closes his locker and walks out of the changeroom.

“Andrew!” Kevin says, sending Neil a frantic look. “You can’t just leave practice!” Andrew leaves, the door clanging behind him. Neil gives Kevin a sharp grin. “Yes he can.” No one is surprised when Jack speaks up. “Just because you’re vice captain doesn’t mean that you get to decide things like that.” If Aaron could get away with strangling the kid, he would have done it ages ago. By the look on Jostens face, he feels the same way. “Yes it does. And if you had the statistics that he does, and had pro teams looking into you already like he does, maybe you would get out of practice every once in a while,” Neil snaps. He will never, ever admit this to anyone, but Aaron thinks that maybe, maybe Josten is actually good for Andrew. He only makes fun of him a few times through practice to thank him.

2. The girls room always feels cozy and calm compared to the rest of the dorms. Renee always decorates it at the beginning of every year and Dan makes sure that everything stays tidy. Maybe that’s why Neil is comfortable enough to go sit in there every once in a while for a haircut and a chat with the girls. Allison will never not be proud of the fact that they’ve been able to get the jumpy striker to trust them enough that she can put scissors near his face without him having a panic attack. Neil is doing better dealing with Jack and the other new recruits than they thought that he would, but he’s still struggling with the constant comments that he’s had to deal with over the past month. Dan and Renee are doing their best to give him advice on how to deal with it himself without Wymack or Dan having to intervene while Allison cuts his hair. Allison breaks in every once in a while to tell him to resort to violence, which makes Renee give her a look of disappointment and makes Neil grin. Allison is nearly done when Neil checks his phone. He reads whatever message was waiting for him, then gives it the smallest, softest smile that Allison has ever seen. It makes her want to hug him. Instead, she just says, “is that Matt? Tell him we’re going for lunch after this.” Neil shakes his head. “No, it’s from Andrew. Look, he sent me a cat video.” He tilts his phone up so the girls can all see the video of a sweet cat being adopted off of the street and taken care of. It starts off as a skinny little mangy thing and ends the video with clear eyes and a soft looking coat of fur. Allison can not imagine blank faced Andrew watching this video in a million years. “That’s sweet Neil. Do you want a pet?” Renee says, smiling. She looks almost smug. “Andrew and I have been talking about getting a cat after grad. It’ll be tough at first, since he’ll be playing pro while I’m still in school and Betsy said that a pet would probably be good for both of us.” There’s a stunned silence in the room. Dan catches Allison’s eye and grins. “Andrew wants a cat?” Dan asks. “We both do, I think.” Neil smiles at the screen again before noticing the quiet that’s enveloped the room. “Why? Do you think that’s a bad idea?” “No! That’s a brilliant idea,” Allison jumps in. “I think we are all just surprised is all. We didn’t picture you or Andrew as pet people,” Renee says gently. Neil looks nervous and fidgets with his phone while he thinks through his answer. “Well, we both thought that it was a good idea for me. To have something that needs looking after, so I don’t have the option of running. And a cat would be good for Andrew because they don’t need as much touch as dogs do. But that isn’t for a while anyway.” Allison tilts Neil’s head up so he looks at her. She understands why all of the upperclassmen have practically adopted Neil, she would kill for the kid if she needed to. Dan looks like she’s going to cry. “That’s a great idea. You better let us name it,” she tells him firmly. Neil laughs while Allison hugs him. “Okay, but you have to tell Andrew that.”

When Neil goes back to his room to grab his coat before they go out for lunch, the three girls smile at each other. Allison hadn’t been fully on board with Neil and Andrews relationship, but hearing Neil talk about the future with hope made her think that maybe Andrew was softer than she realized. They started a bet on when they would get a second cat right there and then.

3. The dorm that Kevin shared with Andrew and Neil was often quiet, so he wasn’t surprised when no noise came from the room when he came home after dinner with Wymack and Abby. He realized why it was so quiet as he walked into the hallway. Neil was sitting on the bathroom counter while Andrew stood between his legs, applying some sort of medicated cream to the scars on his face. Both had a look of absolute concentration on their faces, and neither had noticed that Kevin was back. He was about to leave when Neil spoke. He knew that this was a private moment and he wasn’t invited to be a part of it, but something in Neils voice made him pause. They had spent a lot of time together in the past few years, and Kevin felt almost protective about him. It was the sibling relationship that he had never known before: one that had affection on both sides, one where their arguments never got physical, one where irritating each other was just as fun for the other person. Neil made Kevin want to pull out his hair sometimes, but if anyone else ever said anything bad about him he would make them swallow an Exy racket. “Andrew?” Neil says in a voice that Kevin’s never heard from him before. He sounds like he’s shattering slowly. Andrew pauses what he’s doing and waits for Neil to talk. He’s patient and just watches the redhead while he struggles to come up with the right words. “Do my scars ever… bother you?” Neil starts slowly. “Doesn’t it ever bother you how people stare at us all the time?” Andrew doesn’t answer right away and Kevin has the urge to walk over and yell at Neil to stop being stupid. “This is about the articles.” Andrew finally monotones. That makes more sense. The Foxes had been asked to be a part of a marketing campaign for a new active wear brand. The campaign was hugely popular and successful, but that also means that quite a few naysayers had come out of the woodwork to discuss whether or not Neil’s scars should have been photoshopped out. A few of the articles had been written like they were being supportive (‘Despite the Scars, Starting Striker Neil Josten is still a Looker!’) while others were just plain brutal (‘Should Josten really be the new Face of Exy? We Think Not’). Since Neil rarely payed attention to what others were saying about him, Kevin had assumed that he hadn’t even read most of the articles. “Jack sent a few to me today.” Andrews whole frame tenses for a moment before he turns his attention back to Neil. He puts his hands up to cradle Neils face slowly, then taps the scar on his cheek gently. “I like your scars. They’re yours.” Neil slumps down and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. Very slowly, Andrew stretches up to kiss the knife scars on his other cheek, then grabs a hand to kiss the burn scars on his knuckles. Kevin decides to spend the night with Aaron and Nicky.

4. The sunset is stunning from the rooftop. The reds and oranges start off vibrant, then fade to a soft pink that bleeds up into the sky. It’s one of those sunsets that takes your breathe away, that makes you think that maybe life is worth all the pain for moments like this. Despite the beauty that’s sitting right in front of her, Renee isn’t paying attention to it. Her and Andrew were supposed to be sparring half an hour ago and when he didn’t show up, she came looking for him. Andrew had been irritable all week and Neil had been spending far more time at the court than he should have been. They were both wearing themselves out, and Renee was hoping that maybe she could help. The roof had been her first and only spot to check. Sure enough, Andrew was sitting with his legs over the side of the building, smoke in hand. Neil was sitting beside him, tension obvious in his frame. “I don’t want to force you into anything, Andrew. If you don’t want this, just tell me,” Neil was saying. He sounded more exhausted than angry. Andrew makes a sound that could only be described as a growl. Neil forges on, ignoring the glare he was getting. “You can’t be with someone just because you feel some sort of... of obligation to be with them.” “You think I feel obligated.” “Don’t you?” They stare at each other, Andrews cigarette completely forgotten. “No, I don’t. You aren’t forcing me into anything. You really think I would let you do that?” “You forced yourself to do lots of things you didn’t want to in order to take care of someone.” Andrew gives Neil a blank look. “I don’t do that anymore. You know that.” “I don’t want you to start again for me.” There’s no life to Neil’s voice. The sky is slowly getting darker, but neither of the boys notice. “I chose you. I keep choosing you. That’s my choice, no one is forcing me into anything.” “Why?” Andrew throws the cigarette down and glares at Neil. “Because I’m happy. You idiot.” Neil smiles and Renee can feel one of her own building. The fact that Andrew admitted to having any sort of feeling is a huge step, and she wishes that he would let her tell him that she was proud of him. “Okay.” Neil says. “Okay.” “I’m happy too.” “Okay.” Andrew lights another cigarette and offers it to Neil, who is still beaming up at him. Renee leaves them to it and leaves a message on Andrews phone to reschedule their session.

5. Matt never would have noticed anything different about the crowd for this game if Kevin hadn’t completely frozen when he entered the arena. One thing about Kevin is that he never tried to hide his feelings. Matt knew that it made Neil mad sometimes, but he secretly thought that the other starting striker could have learnt a thing or two from Kevin. Maybe not with the coping mechanisms, but the fact that he admitted that he needed help was a good thing. It didn’t take long for the team to find out that the one and only Ichirou Moriyama was sitting in the crowd at today’s game. No one knew why, since it wasn’t an important one against an important team. Neil refused to react, but he was particularly aggressive right from the start. They created an impressive point gap at the beginning of the game that only grew from there. Even Andrew put in effort when he was on. It was an easy win. Well, physically it was an easy win. Mentally, it obviously wasn’t. Kevin looked like he wanted to vomit through the entire game, and Wymack took him to Abby as soon as they finished their handshakes. No one could tell that it was affecting Neil until they got to the change room. The mood was unusually somber as they got undressed, despite the win. Even Jack kept his mouth shut and changed out quickly. The room was almost empty, with only Matt, Nicky, Andrew, and Neil left before he started to lose his composure. It started with shaking hands while he was trying to tie his shoes. Matt could see him trembling from where he was standing near Nicky. Andrew was there in an instant, watching Neil carefully. For a while all he can hear is the sound of Neil’s panicked breathing. Andrew kneels in front of him and pulls him down to sit on the bench. Matt can still see the frantic look in his eyes. “I can’t do that again,” Neil chokes out, breath still quick and painful sounding. “You won’t,” Andrew says. “I was resigned to it, to dying, but I can’t do that again. I want to live Andrew,” Neil sound desperate. Matt moves forward without even realizing. He can feel his heart break a little hearing about how Neil had been resigned about dying in his first year here. “You’re not going to go through that again. Listen, Neil-listen to me. I’ve got you.” Matt can feel Nicky at his back, both of them watching the scene like they’re watching a car accident that can’t be avoided. Nicky reaches out and grabs his arm for support. Andrew tugs Neil forward so his head rests on Andrews shoulder. Matt can see his shoulder shuddering but he can’t hear the sharp breaths anymore. “Come on, Nicky,” Matt murmurs under his breath and starts to lead Nicky toward the door. He knows that Neil doesn’t want anyone to witness him falling apart, and Andrew knows how to take care of him. Right before they leave the room he hears Andrew say, “Nothing is going to happen to you. I love you.” It’s so quiet that he almost thinks that he imagined it, but when he turns to look at Nicky and sees the other backliners shocked expression, he knows that Nicky heard it too. Matt allows himself a small smile. Neil will be alright.

+1 The airport is always crazy at this time of the year, and Wymack is seriously considering just telling the Trojans that they won’t be able to make it to the game. He’s exhausted already from trying to keep an eye on all of his Foxes and they only just got there. He’s standing in line for coffee with Neil and Kevin, who are currently arguing about something that Wymack isn’t really paying attention to. When he looks at Neil he can tell that he’s arguing just to get a rise out of Kevin. His eyes are sparkling while Kevin shouts at him. Seeing the two boys so out of their shells makes him happy, even though they are helping give him a headache. Wymack barely notices the chaos behind him at first, not until Neil goes stiff and ignores whatever Kevin had just been ranting about. It’s impossible to tell what’s happening, just that airport security has swarmed the area and people are panicking. They seem mostly safe in the little coffee shop where they’re waiting in line, but the rest of the Foxes could be anywhere. They could be caught up in whatever’s going on over there. “Bomb threats,” someone whispers near him, and just like that people start throwing out ideas as to what could be going wrong. Each whispered theory makes Neil go paler. Kevin gives Wymack a frantic look and moves a step closer to him. Neil looks like he’s going to bolt into the crazed crowd. Wymack gently grips his arm to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, and pulls out his phone with his other hand. “Hello?” Wymack can barely hear Dan over the noise behind her. “Dan, are you with the others?” “Uh, I’ve got Matt, Aaron, Nicky, and the new kids here with me.” “Where are Andrew and Renee?” Neil somehow goes even paler than he had been before. He grabs Wymacks wrist and watches him intently. “They went into one of the little shops near our gate, I think. I’m not sure whats going on, did you see all of the security?” “Yeah. Let me know if you find them. And stick together.” “Okay, we’ll meet you at the gate. Kevin and Neil are okay?” “Yep.” Beside him, Neil is clutching his phone to his ear. According to his tight expression, no one is picking up. It’s almost half an hour later and 20 unanswered phone calls to both Renee and Andrew before the insanity slows down and things start getting into control. Wymack grabs Kevin and Neil and pulls them through the crowd to their gate. He spots Andrew first and can tell the moment that Neil sees him, since he pulls out of his grip and runs over to the gate. Andrew and Neil are staring at each other, probably checking for injuries, by the time that Wymack and Kevin have arrived. The rest of the team is surrounding them, all shouting over each other. Allison has started a betting pool about what caused the chaos. Neil and Andrew are the calm in the middle of the storm. “I was worried about you,” Andrew says with more emotion than Wymack is used to hearing from him. “I was worried about you. You’re not allowed to mock me for not answering my phone anymore.” Neil says. Colour is slowly coming back into his cheeks. “We got stuck in the crowd. I’m sorry Neil,” Renee says from where she’s standing by Allison. Neil doesn’t even glance at her. “Are you okay?” he asks Andrew. Andrew nods. “Can I hug you?” Neil asks. Wymack can just barely hear him over the din of the team, and he doubts that anyone else can hear the two of them. Andrew nods. Neil shifts forward slowly, giving Andrew time to refuse. When Andrew’s hands go around his back to clutch at his hoodie Neil sighs and tucks his head into the joint between Andrews neck and shoulder. One of Andrews hands comes up to the back of Neils neck while the other grabs onto the back of his hoodie. Wymack doesn’t miss the money that changes hands when the others see the two boys, but he doesn’t let anyone interrupt them. After all his team has been through, he thinks that they deserve some happiness.

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renegon-paragade · 7 years ago

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Based on this prompt from @exyprompts

This got way longer than I meant it to be, and I probably did way more research than neccessary. Google probably thinks that I own a pregnant cat now.

In this au Neil is in witness protection after all the shit went down with his father

Also, Andrew and Neil are neighbors

They haven't officially met yet

Andrew absolutely does not wake up early to watch the cute boy on his jog. Nope. Not at all. He just happens to be sitting on the balcony at the same time

And since their balconies are next to each other, and they both tend to smoke late at night when they wake up from nightmares, they sometimes smoke silently together

Sir is Andrew's cat and King is Neil's.

And Andrew is perfectly fine dealing silently with his crush annoyance with his neighbor

Except there's a slight issue

You see, Neil has never owned a cat before. He found King while on a run and decided to take her in. While he did a bunch of research on toys to get her and what to feed her, he didn't know about getting her spayed

Andrew hasn't had the chance to neuter Sir. Nicky convinced him to get the damn thing when a coworker's cat had kittens because he thought Andrew was lonely. Andrew agreed just to get him to shut up. He knows he needs to get Sir neutered, but the vet closest to him doesn't care about the animals at all (He's the type who puts down healthy animals because of divorce and tries to sell owners a bunch of medicines they don't actually need) so he's waiting until he has the time to go to the one a few towns over that Renee swears by. It shouldn't really be an problem. He has an appointment booked and everything.

Well, it wouldn't be a problem so long as he didn't knock up another cat

Both Neil and Andrew allow their cats out on their balconies as they please. It's fine, they don't roam much except to visit each other (Andrew assumes King is a male cat and thus doesn't think twice about Sir not being neutered)

Eventually, Neil starts to notice that King keeps throwing up, and her stomach is getting bigger

Neil panics and rushes her to the vet (the one a few towns over, thankfully, because he's heard bad things about the local one from Dan and Matt) where he finds out that King is fine

Except, you know, she's pregnant

Neil, overbearing cat dad that he is, starts making a queening box and buying specialty food, supplies for the kittens, books about how to care for kittens, etc

What I'm getting at here is that he's carrying a lot of things that announce to the world that his cat is both a girl and pregnant

And, of course, because Neil's life is the cosmic equivilant to shattering 20,000 mirrors, his bag rips and drops all of it right as he's walking into the lobby of his appartment

Directly in front of Andrew

And Andrew is not normally the kind of person to help out of the kindness of his heart, but the completely overwhelmed look on cute runner boy's face as all of his purchased goods fall to the floor makes him reconsider that

And if it just so happens that this works as the perfect opportunity to introduce himself and maybe flirt, well, no one needs to know

So Andrew helps Neil pick up the stuff and bring it to his appartment, while Neil rambles on about King and the pregnancy and how out of his depth he is

And Andrew thinks that this is the perfect way to get closer to his crush that Neil is such a mess of a human being that he has to help him out, for the poor animal's sake

(And, in the back of his mind, Andrew knows that Sir is probably the father. Andrew decides to keep this thought to himself for now)

So Andrew starts visiting a bit, taking care of King while Neil is out and helping Neil get everything ready. He makes sure that Neil has his number and keeps his phone charged so that if he isn't home when King goes into labor Neil can call him and maybe so Andrew could text the idiot

So of course at 7 am on a fucking Saturday, Andrew wakes to Neil pounding on his door and rushes over

Of course, cat labor doesn't actually require human input

Andrew knows this

He's not really there for King

He's there to stop Neil from being a hoverparent and stressing King out

He does this by sitting Neil down in the same room as King so they can keep an eye on her while they watch an Exy game, much to Andrew's disgust

It was the only thing that distracted Neil from worrying, so whatever, Andrew will watch stupid stickball

After a couple of hours, King is finally done with labor, having given birth to 3 adorable kittens

Two match King's black and cream tortoiseshell markings

But the last one is ginger and fluffy

Just like Sir

Andrew snorts. "Guess we know who the father is"

Andrew doesn't do guilt or regret. They're pointless

That doesn't mean that he doesn't acknowledge that if he had gotten Sir neutered earlier, Neil wouldn't be forced to take on the emotional and financial burden of kittens

And he knows it doesn't make sense, but maybe he feels something bad when he realizes that if he hadn't been there for the birth, his cat would be a deadbeat dad who abandoned his kids

Just like Andrew's father

So Andrew decides to help out where he can

He buys nursing mother food and drops the bag on Neil's balcony with a paper taped to it saying "child support"

Neil's laugh when he sees it absolutely does not make him blush

Andrew and Neil take turns watching over the cats to make sure they are okay

King, like the spoiled brat she is, adores the attention

Meanwhile Sir is getting antsy

His friend (girlfriend?) just disappeared out of the blue? Why won't she come out to play?

He sits on the balcony watching Neil's apartment, waiting for King to show up

Neil is the one who suggests a visit, to let Sir meet his kittens and to see how he reacts to them

He almost takes it back when he learns that sometimes male cats will attack kittens - he knows too well what it's like to fear your father - but ultimately, he decides to give Sir one chance, so long as he's supervised

So when the kittens are about 12 days old, Andrew brings Sir over to visit (with more "child support")

Both Andrew and Neil are ready to grab him if anything goes wrong

But Sir doesn't attack the kittens at all

At first he just watches King as she washes the nursing kittens, keeping his distance and observing

After a minute or so, he moves closer, coming up and sniffing at King, who watches him but doesn't move to react

Slowly, he begins to wash her head, purring softly

King steadily relaxes, accepting that Sir won't hurt their kittens, which makes Neil and Andrew relax as well

They spend the rest of the day together while the cats do their thing. Andrew makes Neil dinner because he has quickly learned that Neil can't cook more than basic meals

Andrew also forces Neil to watch something on tv other than exy games

"Seriously Josten, what the fuck is with you and stickball"

They end up binge watching "My Cat From Hell" until 3am, when they finally decide to call it a day

This quickly becomes routine for them. Andrew and Sir come over for dinner and to catch Neil up on pop culture

Neil thinks "Mythbusters" is interesting, but finds "Finding Bigfoot" stupid. He loves "Planet Earth," since he gets to learn things that he missed in school. His favorite is still "My Cat From Hell," though Andrew doesn't know why he expected otherwise from a man who channels the same energy as a 85-year-old crazy cat lady

(He eventually stops complaining that they're missing the game)

(Eventually)

Time passes quickly and soon the kittens are three months old and ready to find a new home

Neil wants to keep them, but acknowledges that he doesn't have the room or the money for 4 maybe 5 cats

Dan and Matt say they can take in one, Aaron and Kaitlyn ask for another, but Andrew and Neil are still looking for a home for the third

They don't want to give any of the kittens to someone they don't trust to take care of them, but neither of them are exactly social butterflies and none of their remaining friends or family can take in the last kitten

Andrew mentions it during one of his weekly meetings with Bee. She promises to look around and get back to him if she finds a suitable home

A few days later, she texts him and says that if the kitten is still available, she would love to adopt it.

Thirteen weeks after King gave birth, the kittens all go to loving homes

Dan and Matt adopt the oldest, Princess Lazyfluff, aka Princess, who takes after her mother's royal grace and her father's depleated energy levels

Aaron and Kaitlin get second-born Marquis Sweetums McCatterson, aka Mark ("No Nicky I am not calling her that ridiculous name"), a quirky kitten who only sits still when she wants to be pet

Bee gets the youngest, Dutchess Flooftail of Caterbury, aka Dutchess, who's curious but quiet nature makes her the perfect companion for Bee

(Eventually, Bee gets Dutchess trained as an emotional support animal to help patients who are in need)

Andrew and Neil are sad to see them go, but calmed in knowing that they will still see the kittens often and that their new families will take care of them properly

(And also in knowing that all of them, including King and Sir, are now spayed or neutered, since they are responsible cat dads and don't want any more suprises)

Neil is kind of worried that things will go back to how they used to be, with Andrew not talking to him, not coming over to visit every night. He does not like how that prospect makes him feel

But that night, like clockwork, Andrew shows up with Sir

"King is probably going to miss the kittens and I don't want her yowling to keep me up all night"

Of course, Andrew keeps coming after that night too

The only time Neil asks him why, Andrew claimed that he was doing his civic duty in making sure Neil eats real food and catching him up with the rest of the world

This goes on for another month, during which they also start to cautiously trade truths, revealing the parts of themselves they hid from everyone else.

Neil goes to visit Dan, Matt, and Princess. At some point Matt references Harry Potter and Neil snorts. The others are shocked that Neil actually understood what they were talking about, so Neil explains about his evenings hanging out with Andrew and Sir

Dan and Matt, confused, ask if they are dating. Neil is quick to say they aren't, they're just friends, but the idea is planted in his head

That night, as he and Andrew are eating dinner, Andrew notices how distracted he is and asks what's wrong

"Are we dating?"

Neil didn't really mean to blurt it out, and kind of regrets it when Andrew tenses up

"Do you want us to be?" Andrew asks cautiously

And Neil thinks about the quiet companionship. He thinks of Andrew's presence calming him after nightmares and during King's labor. He thinks about the worry in his gut when he thought Andrew was going to go back to ignoring him. He thinks about how his kitchen is arranged how Andrew likes it, how his couch is covered in Andrew's blankets and pillows, how King and Sir are never seen apart anymore, how seamlessly their broken edges fit together. How Andrew learned his truths without flinching

Neil nods, uncertain of how to proceed

Andrew leans in, eyes moving to pointedly look at Neil's mouth then back to his eyes

"Yes or no?"

"Yes," Neil answers, the first of many, many more

#andreil #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg fic #aftg fanfic #paragade interrupts #i cant remember my writing tag so #also i literally hit the limit on the amount of bullet points you can use #this is a psa to spray or neuter your cat #if the read more doesnt work im so sorry but im on mobile and cant check #long post

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hairringtonsteve · 8 years ago

Text

two ships passing in the night, part iii.

(billy hargrove x reader)

summary: all in all, it’s not the awkwardest christmas eve ever, but it’s up there. really up there. complete with a threatening billy and annoyed steve!

request: a ton of people. like, a ton of people.

word count: 5, 824

a/n: Merry Christmas if you celebrate it, and Merry Sunday if you don’t! Or Monday, depending on your timezone. This is it, the final installment of the series that I didn’t mean to become a series. brief mentions of abuse.

part i. part ii.

Before you’d gotten close with the Party, Christmas Eve had meant some family time at your aunt’s house, watching as your cousins made racist remarks and drank too much.

Now, though, things were different. Christmas Eve meant everyone heading to your house to have a holiday themed DnD session, starting early in the afternoon and lasting until it was finished (or until everyone had to go home).

This year, though, things were different. Very, very different.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dustin spat out, staring at you. It was Christmas Eve Eve, and the entire lot of them were gathered in your living room, save for Steve, who’d gotten stuck with the night shift at the station since he’d lost his badge yet again.

“Language,” you murmured, your focus more on picking at the stray strings coming up from the pillow than the group of teens staring at you.

“Lan- Come on, Y/N! What are you thinking? He’s a criminal, he went to jail!” Mike said. Most of the group agreed, save for Max and El.

“They let him out.” Max waved her hands in the air as she spoke, giving Mike the glare that was reserved solely for him. “He’s trying, guys. He’s still a dick, but he’s trying,” she continued. Lucas offered her a faint smile, but it faded as Dustin spoke up once more.

“Are we forgetting that he attacked a member of our party, and beat the ever-living shit out of Steve?” Flashes of Steve’s face, battered and bloody, drifted through your mind. Your stomach clenched at the thought. It had happened, and you weren’t going to make excuses for that. But he was different, you knew that.

“Does Steve even know that you invited him?” Will asked, settling beside you on the couch. You let out a sigh, allowing yourself to look at everyone before ducking your head.

“I’m going to tell him. He’s just… He’s Steve. He’s upset enough with me for even talking to him.” You could feel Max’s gaze boring into you, and you wondered if Billy had said anything to her about that night. It had been a week since then, and the only time you’d seen him was in the grocery store two days ago. He’d followed you around the store, smiling faintly the entire time. The only thing that he’d even brought up about that night had been making sure that you were serious about him being there for Christmas.

“At least you didn’t do anything really stupid, like make out with the guy,” Mike muttered, shaking his head as he headed off into the kitchen. You could feel yourself heating up, starting with your neck, the redness creeping up to your cheeks and then your ears.

“You’ve got to be shitting me!” Dustin yelled. He threw his hands in the air, staring wide-eyed at you. “Did you really make out with him?” There was a hysterical note to his voice and it made your stomach sink.

“Dustin, that’s none of your-”

“You’re - you’re whoring yourself out to the enemy!”

“I am not whoring myself out to the enemy! I’m not whoring myself out to anyone! I’m an adult! I can choose who I consensually make out with, dumbass. And how many girls have you made out with, Henderson? You don’t hear me bitching to you about them.”

“That’s because none of them beat the shit out of my dad!”

“I hurt Lucas and you forgave me.” El’s voice chimed in, her softness contrasting the frustration that was emanating from Dustin. The young Henderson grew quiet as he glanced over to her, his shoulders deflating.

“That was different, El. Mike and Lucas had been fighting and you -”

“And Neil was beating the shit outta Billy at the time. That doesn’t make it right, but it makes sense of some stuff. Neil beat Billy that night because I snuck out. If I hadn’t snuck out, he wouldn’t have gotten hit and he wouldn’t have gone after Lucas or Steve,” Max said. Her words were coming out slow and sure. “But if you hadn’t kept Dart and let him grow bigger, then I wouldn’t have had to sneak out and on and on and on.” She tilted her head, fixing Dustin with a frown. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

Mike was leaning against the doorway, a mug of hot chocolate held in his hands as he watched everyone else. El glanced over to him, watching as he gave her a small nod of his head.

“I mean, I-” Dustin started, only to be interrupted by El.

“He’s coming to Christmas, then.”

You’d been avoiding your phone all morning. It was easier to work at getting your family out of the house than it was to answer the phone and listen to Steve screech at you for just thrusting Billy Hargrove upon him.

Apparently, one of the little shits had blabbed and ruined your perfectly good plan of having Billy show up at the door and deal with the two of them then.

Around eleven, the house was quiet. Your parents had vacated to head to your aunt’s, while your older siblings had gone to hang out with some old high school friends. There wasn’t really much to do since your mom had gone on a full cleaning spree the day before, claiming that the house needed to be in pristine condition for Santa.

By noon the party had arrived and settled in, clearing your dining room table off so they could set up everything. Steve had taken to pacing in the kitchen, alternating between glaring at you and shoving cookies into his mouth.

“You better watch it, Harrington. One more cookie and you’re really going to nail that stereotypical cop look,” you said, smirking at him.

“Why don’t you worry about your boyfriend’s body, hm? He probably needs to work his ass off to keep in shape,” he muttered through a mouth full of sugar cookie.

“He’s not my boyfriend and you know that.”

“That’s not what Dustin says.”

“Dustin also said that I was whoring myself out to him. Are you really going to trust him?”

“He what? Jesus - Dustin! What’d we talk about, huh? Stop using the word whoring. You sound like an asshole.” Your heart warmed at the sight of Steve’s scowl. It was nice to know that despite his annoyance with you, he was still sticking up for you. His expression softened a little as he glanced over to you, only to harden at the knocking on the door.

You gave a cursory glance over the kitchen and dining room. Max and Lucas were leaning against each other, watching as Mike and Dustin bickered over the tabletop setup. El was reheating some pizza as Will told her some cheesy joke, and Steve was… Not there.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, darting towards the front door. You were too late, though. Steve was opening the door, shoulders squared off like he was about to hit someone. Billy chuckled, a low sound that traveled straight down your spine. It took you back to the other night, the two of you cuddled up on the couch, him chuckling against your skin.

“Well, if it isn’t King Steve. You mind stepping aside?” The venom that had once permeated a younger Billy’s voice was gone, but the annoyance was still there, loud and clear. Steve didn’t move an inch. “Look, man, Y/N invited me over and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want either of us being dicks, yeah? So just move.”

“Make me, dipshit.” You couldn’t tell exactly what Billy’s reaction to that was, but he stepped forward, filling the doorframe, and that’s when you butted in.

“Hey, Billy!” You said, your voice bright as you stepped forward, laying a hand on Steve’s chest and giving him a gentle push. “Thanks for coming over.” You didn’t miss the way that Billy’s gaze lingered on your hand.

“Oh, uh, no problem. Thanks, for uh, inviting me,” he said, his voice softening considerably as he finally looked down at you.

“You ready for some DnD?”

“I actually have no idea how to play.”

“Don’t worry about it. If Steve could figure it out, so can you.” Steve let out a snort behind you, mumbling something under his breath that you didn’t catch. You heard his footsteps retreat, and suddenly it was just you and Billy. “You gonna close the front door?”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he said, stepping inside so he could close the door. It was quiet as it clicked into place. He looked down at you, his lips pressed together into a small smile. “So, I got you something for Christmas. It’s nothing big, but I just… Yeah.”

“Billy, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know, but I wanted to.” The words hung in the air, eventually settling deep in your stomach. He reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out a small box with a bow on it. “You said in the grocery store the other day that coffee kept you up at night. I, uh, I thought that this might help out if I ever come over for coffee again.” He held out your favorite kind of tea, a nervous sort of grin on your face.

“When you come over for coffee again,” you corrected, fingers brushing against his as you took it from him. “How’d you know that this was my favorite?”

“That night at the diner, you were complaining about all the crap kinds of tea. You said this kind, though, was the good kind.” His cheeks were a little red at the admission, and you were determined to burn that image into your memory.

“Thanks, Billy.” You glanced behind you, making sure that no one was in view before rolling up to the tips of your toes and pressing a kiss to his cheek. When you pulled away, the redness had increased. “Come on, man. We’ve got some…” You faltered, trying to remember just what Mike had said the campaign was about. “Some weird monsters to kill.”

You led him into the kitchen, trying to ignore the way that everyone fell silent as Billy stepped into the room.

“Hey, loser,” Max called, offering him a faint smile. Billy returned it for a moment, looking away within seconds. Max made sure to glare at every single member of the party when Billy looked away, giving them a sort of silent warning.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“I’ve told you like, twelve times, Y/N. There’s a cult in the forest near town that are kidnapping people, and it’s up to you guys to stop them.”

“A cult? I thought that Dungeons and Dragons was all monster fighting. Like, those, uh, what were they?” Billy thought for a moment, wracking his brain as he tried to come up with the answer. “Some guys back in California played, and they fought - they fought demogorgons! That’s what it was.”

Everyone in the room froze. Billy looked around, furrowing his brow at everyone. His gaze rested on you, leaning forward a little in question.

“We, uh, we don’t fight demogorgons anymore. Dustin got so freaked out during a campaign once because of them that he cried a little,” Lucas said, his words practically tumbling over themselves.

“I did not!” Dustin yelled, and just like that, they were back to bickering and sniping at each other. You caught Billy’s eye and nodded towards the table. It was a little crowded. The dining room table was big enough, but still, everyone was just about shoulder to shoulder. Somehow, Billy ended up between you and Will.

“Do you know how to play?” Will asked. His voice was quiet as he looked to Billy. There wasn’t any animosity in the teen’s face, not like how Dustin was looking at him. Instead, Will was looking at Billy like he was just another friend sitting at the table.

“Uh, no, I don’t.”

“Okay, cool. It’s pretty easy, you’ll get the hang of it.”

Unsurprisingly, Billy didn’t get the hang of it. Not that you blamed him in the slightest. It had taken you ages to figure out what was going, and they’d dumbed it down for you a lot. For Billy, though, not so much. It had started out easy enough, everyone creating their characters and Mike writing down all of the details in his notebook. Getting into the semantics of the campaign, however, turned into another beast entirely.

“This goblin is shooting at your rogue with his bow. The range is 70 feet which is further than short range for a short bow so he makes the shot with disadvantage so I will roll 2 dice and take the worst.” Mike rolled the dice as Billy stared on, his eyes glazed over. “A 7 and a 16 so we take the 7. The goblin's attack bonus is +4 so the 7 becomes an 11. Your armour class here is 14 so that is a miss,” he continued. Billy looked to you, almost desperate. You bit back a laugh. “The arrow falls short hitting the ground at your feet. If you had been closer, it would have hit you in the chest because 16+4 is 20 which is more than your AC. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Billy jerked his gaze away from you and to Mike, who was watching him expectantly.

“I have no idea what you’re saying. At all,” he said, frowning as he settled back into his seat. Everyone let out a groan of frustration. This had been the fifth time Mike was explaining it to Billy.

“How’d you even graduate high school?” Dustin questioned through a chewed up chocolate chip cookie.

“I didn’t, remember? Bailed before graduation,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. There was a little tension there, coming from the way his back had stiffened. You kept your hand under the table, reaching over to his and giving it a faint squeeze. He glanced over to you out of the corner of his eye.

Everyone else was looking at each other, scrambling for something to say.

“You didn’t miss much, man. Steve wouldn’t even streak across the football field during the ceremony,” Lucas eventually said. You caught the soft look he offered Max, and the grateful smile that she gave in return.

“No, you don't get to complain about that. I never agreed to that hairbrained idea, Sinclair.” Steve was jabbing his finger in Lucas’s direction to make a point.

“You should've, though! It would have been awesome,” Dustin grinned.

“Yeah, and if I would've done that, Hopper never would've let me on the force.”

“You're a cop?” There was a hint of incredulity in Billy's voice as he cocked a brow at Steve. The two of them stared at each other, silent and a hint of a glare on Steve's part.

“Yeah. I've got a badge and everything.”

“Huh,” was all Billy said, more of a hum than anything else.

“You surprised?” Steve was sitting back in his seat, arms crossed against his chest as he watched Billy carefully. You couldn't help but think back to that night a few years ago, Steve with his hands on his hips, the last defense against a pissed off Billy.

“Honestly? Not at all. You seem like you'd be the only competent cop on the force aside from Hopper. Everyone else is shit, if I remember right.”

Steve blinked at Billy, his eyes flickering between the two of you. Sure, Billy's words had come out as easy as pulling teeth, and he'd muttered the word competent, but a compliment was still a compliment.

Dustin was watching the two closely, as though he was trying to figure out just what was going on. While all of the teens were protective of Steve, Dustin would probably kill for him.

“Oh, they're shit. They couldn't even arrest your speeding ass,” Steve said, allowing himself the smallest of smirks. It was tight and awkward and looked a little painful to you, but it was there. He was trying.

“Can those old cruisers even get up to that speed, or do you guys just hope for the best?”

“I don't know. We did get a new vehicle, though, if you want to try it out. You go break a law, and we'll see how long it takes to arrest you.”

“No thanks, man. I've done enough jail time in my life.”

Steve blanched at his words. He grimaced, opening and closing his mouth as he looked to you, helpless.

“Hey, man, I didn't mean to-”

“Don't worry about it, Harrington. That's not the worst thing anyone's ever said to me.”

It grew quiet, everyone looking at each other. It’s not like there was an easy way to transition from jail to a lighter topic. You’d forgotten that your hand was still on Billy’s and your knee bumped the table as he twisted his hand around to intertwine his fingers with yours. He gave your hand a tight, brief squeeze before letting go.

“Y/N, these cookies are really good. Who baked them?” Dustin asked, giving you a wide grin. The boy wasn’t always the best at switching the conversation subtly, but it worked, mainly because Mike rolled his eyes and let out a groan.

“You did, Dustin. You baked them. Like you keep reminding us every single time you eat one,” the dark haired boy complained, scowling.

“That’s because they’re delicious, Mike. They’re perfect.”

The game went on for awhile after that, everyone slowly getting in on what was happening. Billy still wasn’t up to speed on what to do, but what he lacked in understanding, he made up for in enthusiasm. You had a feeling that Dungeons and Dragons was never going to be his thing, but he kept looking over to Max, as though he were searching for some sort of approval from her. Most of the time she’d just grin at him before turning back to Lucas or whoever had been talking, but sometimes she’d give him this small smile, something that was warm and welcoming and made your heart soar a little.

Max had always wanted someone that was there for her. You could remember it clearly, the summer after your graduation when Max had popped over and what had started out as a simple girls’ night ended up in her pouring her heart out to you. She’d just wanted a brother, someone to stick up for her and take care of her and be there for her.

It had taken them both some time, but you could see it; the little spark of a chance that this could actually work, that Max might actually get a brother, and not someone who was just a flaming dick.

Before you knew it, the entire afternoon had passed and everyone was starting to get a little restless. Steve had been the first to suggest starting on dinner, and everyone else had jumped at the chance to not sit at the table for a moment longer. You headed into the kitchen, stopping only when you realized that Billy wasn’t behind you.

“You coming, or what?”

He was lingering at the table, fiddling with one of the unused figurines that Mike had had laying out. He glanced over to you, a faint smile on his face.

“I think I’m gonna head out, actually.”

You ignored the way your heart dropped at his words.

“You sure? We’re going to keep playing after we eat.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I just - you guys should have your Christmas time. I don’t wanna intrude, or anything.”

“Billy, you’re not intruding, trust me. You’re doing anything but that. You made Dustin spit out his soda all over Mike with that Star Wars comment. You’re practically one of us now.” It was endearing, the way Billy ducked his head as you spoke.

“Thanks, but I do think I’m going to head out. I’m kinda tired.” You watched him for a moment longer, searching your brain for anything that would get him to stay. You really didn’t want him to be alone for Christmas Eve, not when he could stay and hang out. There was still a tinge of awkwardness between him and the Party, but they’d laughed together.

Then again, there could only be so much progress made in a day.

“Okay,” is what you settled on, your shoulders lifting up and down in a small shrug. You headed towards your hall closet and started to search through it for a hat and gloves.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice coming a little closer than you’d expected. You grabbed a black hat and matching gloves before turning around, and holding them out victoriously.

“Getting my stuff on so I can walk you home.”

“Y/N, c’mon, you’re not walking me home. I’m perfectly capable of walking home myself. You’ve got guests here.”

“They practically live here, they’re not guests. And I can’t let you walk home alone. You could get hurt, princess.” Your heart dipped in your chest as he stepped closer, his head leaning down just so that way you were nose to nose.

“Princess?” His voice was lower than what should have been legal. You glanced to your left, and then to your right, wanting to be absolutely positive that no one was around to see the two of you. When you were sure that it was clear, you leaned forward just a little and pressed your lips against his. It was chaste and close-mouthed, but your heart was still pounding in your ears. You pulled away after just a second, but it was enough to have him staring at you, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Yeah, princess. Someone’s gotta look out for you.” The smirk transformed right in front of your eyes, turning into a look of almost… awe? You didn’t want to think about that, or why he was so surprised by your simple words. You really didn’t want to think about how the number of people that had actually looked out for him during his life could be counted on one hand. You headed into the kitchen to grab your coat, locking eyes with Steve, who was stirring something in a pot.

“Where are you headed off to?” Your best friend gave you a knowing look as he nodded pointedly towards the hallway.

“I’m walking him back to his place. He’s heading out.” Steve’s expression wavered.

“He’s - Did I say something wrong? I know that I don’t like the guy, but you like him and Max is wanting to - Should I apologize? Was my comment about his mullet too far?” He fretted, his teeth worrying at his lower lip. You let out a soft laugh and shook your head as you looped your arm through your coat sleeve.

“Steve, it’s fine. I think it’s just a little overwhelming, everyone here,” you said, taking care to keep your voice soft. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay? Don’t burn my house down.”

“When have I ever almost burned your house down?”

“Last week, making cookies. I saw flames.”

“Little flames, Y/N! Little flames!” You let out a loud laugh, rolling your eyes as you slid your other arm into the sleeve. You glanced behind you. Billy was leaning against the doorway, his back to you as he watched the Party laughing about something in the living room. “You ready to head out?” He jumped and turned around to meet your gaze, sheepish.

“Ready when you are.”

The two of you made it halfway to the front door when the Party noticed just what was going on.

“Where are you two going?” Will asked, a sly grin on his face.

“I’m walking Billy home, and then coming back here. Relax.”

“Y/N, before you leave, can you come over here and fix your VCR? I think Mike broke it,” Lucas said, causing you to groan.

“Are you kidding me? You little - Mike! What the fuck, man?” You cried out as you got closer to the pile of cords and tapes. Lucas and Mike looked over to Dustin, who gave them a curt nod. The young Henderson got up and sidled over to Billy, who was looking down at him, confusion written all over his face.

“Can I help you?”

“Look, I get that you’re on this road of self discovery and bettering yourself, and that’s great, man,” Dustin said, keeping his voice down. He glanced over to you, making sure that Mike and Lucas were keeping you plenty busy before turning back to Billy. “I respect that, I do. But just a heads up, if you hurt Y/N or Max, you’re going to worry about a hell of a lot more than just a nail bat to your dick, got it?”

“I’m not planning on hurting either of them, Henderson.”

“I know you’re not. Because if you were, we’d be having an entirely different conversation.” He took in a deep breath, waiting a couple of seconds to exhale as he gathered his thoughts. “I get that you want to build those bridges back up again, but if you’re going to, you gotta commit. Don’t just have this be a three week thing and then you fuck off to California and leave them in the dust. I love Max and I love Y/N and they’re happiness is important. So don’t be stupid, Harrington.” He muttered the final sentence, his voice dark as he spoke. His entire countenance lightened up the second you turned back to them.

“What are you two talking about?”

“Billy here wanted to know what makes my chocolate chip cookies so perfect, so I was giving him the recipe. Remember, cream cheese is the key, man.” Billy just nodded his head, eyes wide and head moving slow at his words. Dustin clapped him on the shoulder, shooting you a cheesy grin as he headed back to Mike and Lucas.

“How much did he threaten you?”

“Alot. He cares about you and Max, though, so I don’t mind it.”

All you could do was smile and shake your head as you headed to the front door. The cold air bit at your skin, causing you to wince as you stepped down your porch steps. You shoved the hat on your head, gloves following fast as Billy shut the door behind him.

The walk started out quiet, the two of you walking beside one another on the sidewalk. Snow flurries drifted through the air, little white dots against the darkness that surrounded you. The streetlights gave everything a hazy, orange glow. Occasionally, a house would have their lights up, and Christmas trees shone through most windows.

“I get why you did it,” Billy mused, startling you out of your thoughts.

“Did what?”

“Went for a walk that night we grabbed coffee at the diner. It’s pretty, at night. And it’s quiet.” You let out a hum of agreement, your shoulder brushing against his. You didn’t sway away, though, and it took Billy only a second to get the hint. He took your hand easily, interlocking your fingers. Your hands swayed back and forth as you walked.

“Is it going to kill the mood if I say that this was the nicest Christmas Eve I’ve had in years?” He asked, glancing down at you. You looked up at him, noting the anxiety that was darkening his eyes. They were narrowed a little, like he was nervous to admit it.

“No. It’s the nicest that I’ve had in awhile too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Max looked happier than I’ve seen her in a long time.” The grin that came onto Billy’s face happened so fast that you could tell it was unexpected. You mirrored it, squeezing his hand nice and tight.

You hadn’t realized how close his little apartment was to your house, but it felt like it had been no time before you got there. At some point, you’d shuffled closer to Billy, and had ended up with his arm around your shoulders, effectively tucking you into his side. It was nice like this. You appreciated his warmth, and how it felt right.

You also appreciated how firm he was, but that was a given.

He stalled as you approached the building, coming to a full stop on the sidewalk out front. You went to pull away, but he held you tight, so you opted for looking up at him instead.

“You’re not inviting me up?”

“I’m pretty sure that the kids would have my head if I kept you away from them any longer than necessary,” he said, huffing out a laugh. The air went white for a moment, steam showing up for a moment then disappearing into the night air.

“They can wait a couple more minutes,” you murmured, your gaze dropping to his lips. It had been hard to think of other things when the ghost of kiss had been running through your mind for a week. “You know, it’s kind of rude to just kiss a girl and then not call her.”

“I don’t have your number.”

“You know where I live, though.” He grew a little more serious, his fingers tightening around your shoulder.

“I know, I just…” He looked at you as though he was waiting for you to butt in, to say that it was alright. But you didn’t. “I don’t know what’s going to happen after this, after my lease is up and I leave. I don’t want to - I’m still a dick, Y/N. I don’t want to get your hopes up that I’ve changed a whole lot and then crush them. I’m shit at staying in touch. I'm shit - at everything. But I like you, and I don’t wanna hurt you.”

The words were quiet in the cold air. It was quiet all around you, the snow on the ground muting the little sounds that were usually there. Instead, everything was white and quiet. It felt like it was just the two of you on the whole planet.

“Billy, it’s fine. I get it. We’re friends, okay? Let’s just go from there, and see what happens.” He got that same expression on his face from earlier, when she’d said that someone had to look out for him. This time, it was difficult to push those thoughts away.

“Why are you so understanding?”

“It’s because I’m a great person,” you said, grinning up at him. Your words succeeded in their job, and he laughed. After a couple of seconds, he grew somber.

“You are a great person.”

“So are you, Hargrove.”

The two of you stared at one another, the snow whirling around you in a silent dance. You leaned up, resting a hand on his chest as you kissed his cheek. A hand fell to your waist, holding you in place as he turned his head just enough, lips replacing his cheek. You kissed each other, soft and slow. Your hand rested against his shoulder, thumb brushing against his jacket as he pulled you in closer.

It could only go on for so long, though. He pulled away after letting it go on awhile longer.

“Friends?” You were embarrassed by how much your voice shook on that single word, and how your hand was gripping his shoulder tighter than you should have. But his hands were still on your waist, holding you against him while neither of you moved.

“Friends.” There was some satisfaction to be gained in the fact that his voice shook too.

“So, uh, come over tomorrow night? We could watch a movie or something after the whole Christmas thing dies down?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I can get your number then, too.”

“Perfect.

The flowers were starting to poke their way out of the thawing ground. There wasn’t green on the trees just yet, but it was a start. Considering the fact that it was Spring Break, you’d take just about any signs of warmth and summer that you could get.

The phone rang, a shrill sound coming from the hallway. You glanced at the clock on your dresser and grinned.

“I’ve got it!” You yelled, running out of your room and skidding to a stop when you reached the phone hanging on the wall. You picked it up and put it to your ear, fighting off the grin despite the fact that he wouldn’t see it.

“Roadkill Cafe, you kill’em, we grill’em. How may I help you?”

“You have the dumbest sense of humor on earth, you know that?”

“You don’t get a say, you have terrible judgement. You once thought a mullet was hot.”

“It was hot. Everyone in Hawkins thought so.” He paused. “Even Mrs. Wheeler.” You grimaced at the thought.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that Steve didn’t think it was hot. Or me.” You waited for a moment, listening to make sure that your mother wasn’t within hearing distance. “Your ass wasn’t too bad, though.” Billy snorted into the receiver, and you could hear a dull thunk in the background. His head had probably hit the wall.

“Y/N!” Your mother snapped, her head poking out from the kitchen. “Don’t be crude.” That launched an actual laugh from Billy. You had to bite down on your lip hard to keep from laughing until she stepped into the living room.

This had been going on ever since he’d left Hawkins. He’d even called you at school, a set time each night where you’d linger out near the phone bank that was in your dorms common room, leaning against the wall amongst the other girls who were most likely talking to their significant others.

The two of you weren’t there yet. But you felt like you were inching close to it every day.

“So you’re coming to Hawkins for summer, then?”

“Yeah. I should be there by the first week of June, I’m thinking? Max is wanting me to get there earlier, but my therapist hasn’t found somebody out there for me yet, and recommended that I wait ‘til I can be sure.” You smiled as he spoke. He and Max didn’t talk as much as the two of you did, but it was at least a couple of times a week. Billy would go on and on about what they’d talk about, and all the cool stuff she was learning, like you and Max didn’t have weekly phone conversations. You didn’t mind, though. Billy gushing about anything was a treat.

“I can’t wait.”

“Same here.”

If you closed your eyes, you could imagine his small smile, the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle a little as he grinned down at you. You could practically feel the warmth that just radiated off of him whenever you were around.The way he’d laugh and get a little annoyed by the nickname you’d given him.

“So, princess, tell me about your week.”

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planningflytoniall-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop chapter one

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I loved so much.

Monday

It was 8:28AM when the old bell chimed. The smell of coffee beans infiltrated Niall’s nostrils, waking him up from his usual morning auto-pilot. Niall was only eight minutes later than usual, yet the morning hustle of café made it appear like an entirely different place. Niall could usually get his large cappuccino to-go and a blueberry muffin in less than ten minutes. He sighed looking at the long line before flicking his focus to his watch. There was no way he was going to make it to the recording studio, twenty minutes away, by 9:00AM.

Niall hated mornings, especially Monday mornings. Despite this, he drove fifteen minutes out-of-the-way to West London Coffee Co. every morning for the past couple weeks. He didn’t know why he loved this coffee shop so much; he just did. This Monday morning he regretted his decision to drive here, knowing that he was most likely going to be late since he had to rush back into his flat to grab his wallet and had to stop his gas. It was 8:30AM, and Niall was already having a rough day. However, it looked like his luck was about to change.

“Neil H,” a male barista called, holding up a coffee and pastry bag.

Niall smiled from the back of the line and walked to gab his items. He snuck a glance to another barista called Gemma that he knew was responsible. Every day she messed up his name. The first time he came Neil was written on the cup. He remembered tweeting a picture of it.

The second time he said, “A large cappuccino and a blueberry muffin, please.”

“What’s the name for the order?” Gemma asked with a smile.

Niall suspected she already knew, but he played along anyways. “Niall. N, I, A, L, L is the spelling.”

Gemma repeated it back, but when he got his cup, it read: Nile.

Every morning since, the order had been the same but the spelling differed daily. The most frequent variations were Neil, Niell, Nile, and Nialls. Niall had to admit that he sort of loved the morning interaction.

Picking up his order that he never officially ordered, he told the barista, “I need to pay.”

He laughed, “Gemma has taken care of it.”

And because of her, Niall wasn’t late.

Tuesday

He was early for the first time in two weeks. Niall, the pop star who loathed mornings, intentionally left his flat at 6:45AM to reach West London Coffee Co. at opening. Niall wanted to thank Gemma for yesterday.

Gemma was a blonde twenty-something year-old with blue eyes. Niall couldn’t remember a time he was at the café and Gemma wasn’t. Every morning she smiled at him when the bell chimed and kept a great poker-face while he spelt his name.

“Niall?” she asked cluelessly two Tuesdays ago, “Can you spell that?”

“N-I-A-L-L.”

Gemma bit her lip and scrunched her eyebrows. “One more time. Can’t hear you over that Scottish accent?”

“Irish,” I corrected with a smile. I knew she knew I was Irish. I was also pretty sure she knew I was Niall Horan, but this was always a laugh.

“You’re not Scottish,” she inquired with a fake look of innocence.

“Nope. I-R-I-S-H.” Niall silently cursed himself for the lame attempt at a joke.

That Tuesday he walked out of the coffee with a blueberry muffin and a coffee cup labeled: Irish. He laughed as soon as he saw it and posted a photo on Instagram.

Niall woke up early to see the funny blonde that always greeted with a smile. He walked in, glanced around, and sighed. She wasn’t here. It was 7:01 and there were three baristas and not one was Gemma. He ordered his drink from the guy from yesterday and was disappointed when he saw his name written correctly. Niall sat down in a booth and opened up his emails.

“Gemma’s not Tuesday mornings anymore,” the barista said as he brought him his order. Niall noticed his name tag said Mason. “I noticed you were looking around.”

Niall was embarrassed that the staff had noticed their encounters. He sheepishly asked, “When are her shifts now?”

Mason handed him a napkin with chuckle before walking away. He had scribbled her schedule on a napkin with some advice for the regular customer that seemed to fancy his co-worker.

Mon, Wed, Fri 7-11AM Tues, Thur 5-9PM

Make a move already.

Tuesday PM

Niall was embarrassed. As soon as Gemma noticed his entrance to West London Coffee Co. at 8:18PM, her eyebrows raised. She slightly smirked but covered it as soon as she approached.

“Hello, what would you like, Niall,” Gemma inquired with the smile that Niall wish he could’ve saw this morning.

“Hm, a water,” he looked at the pastry glass display, “a cheese danish.”

“That’s different,” she pointed out.

Niall shrugged and explained, “Can’t have the same order twice in one day.”

Gemma nodded, immediately grabbing bagging the pastry. She hesitantly handed him his bottled water. “We don’t write names on these.”

“Hope I don’t lose it.” He cursed himself again for the lame attempt at a joke.

She laughed. Beautiful, Niall thought as he stared at her, but he immediately snapped out of his gaze and sat at the closest booth to the counter. At this point, Niall did not consider the possibility that the feelings he had for the funny barista to be romantic. She was a laugh with beautiful eyes is all. I don’t even know her were his thoughts on this Tuesday night.

Niall ate in silence, avoiding making eye contact to ensure he wouldn’t act any more weird in front of her. He took this as an opportunity to look at the bulletin board:

PERFORMERS NEEDED: Open-Mic Night Saturday 8:00-10:00PM Save the shop! Sign Up Below!

There were no names on the sheet. Was the coffee shop closing?

“I don’t suppose this is your usual type of gig,” Gemma said, confirming that she knew Niall is a singer. There was a red tint on her cheeks as she added, “I saw you reading the posting, and I’d hate to ask this because I mess with you every day--”

“--It’s funny,” I interrupt.

“I’ve seen the tweets,” she laughs and sighs softly. Niall can tell she is afraid to say more based on her sudden nervousness.

“You can ask what ever it is.”

Gemma breathes out. “This café is going to close in a month unless we can suddenly figure out how to get more customers. I told him we could start having entertainment on the weekends. He’s counting on me to get acts.”

Niall smiled at her. “Do you want me to sing on Saturday?”

“Yes, if you wouldn’t mind. I know you’re probably busy, and this might seem stupid to you, but it’s really important to me that I help out before I leave--”

“--Of course I’ll sing,” he interrupted, “just slow down the babble.”

That is how Gemma and Niall’s friendship began. She no longer was just the barista with a great sense of humor, and he no longer was her famous customer. Niall stayed till closing talking to her about anything and nothing, ranging from his work on the solo album, their shared interest in travel, and TV shows. It was so easy for both of them to talk to each other.

“Have a great night, Scot!” she shouted as he left at 9:04PM.

“Irish!” he corrected.

Wednesday

“I’m going to do a low key show at my favorite coffee shop here in London,”

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horansqueen · 6 years ago

Text

BabyGirl 2.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ thank you so so much for all the notes and feedback for chapter 1! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! i hope you enjoy this chapter! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate. ♥ read part 1 HERE

2.0 ♥ DEALS & FEELS ♥

(almost 5 years later)

HIM

I've dated girls, i've had sex with girls, too, but in the end, I never really fell in love. Love is a weird concept I have a hard time to grasp. Wanting to spend the rest of your life with the same person, living with them, always having them in your personal space... It didn't seem to be for me. I never had to share a house with anyone, and if I spent too long with people it actually bothered me. I needed my alone time, I needed space and time to relax and think, and there was no reason for me to give this up. At least, not now, and not soon. In fact, maybe I never would.

Did I still think about her? Yea, from time to time, but it seemed to have happened in an other life, and the only feeling inhabiting me was one of regret. I regretted the way I treated her, and the way we broke up. After all these years, I had to admit that my outburst was ridiculous. I was younger, stupid, and slightly more selfish. There was no excuse for the way our story ended and even if some people told me the blame was shared, I was ready to take all of it.

It was over and there was clearly not much else to add to this sad love story. I didn't know where she was, or how she was doing, but I like to believe if she needed me, Louis would tell me, since we were still extremely close. But we never talked about her. I knew he was still seeing her from time to time, even more often now that the band went on hiatus, but i never asked anything and he never shared anything either. We seemed to have this unspoken agreement to never discuss her and Iit was definitely better this way.

My solo career was going well, and on the rare occasion I could see my old bandmates, it was just like it used to be between us, especially when it came to Louis.

"Neil! Where the fuck did you put that damn watch!"

I chuckled, shaking my head as I opened the fridge to grab a beer. I threw the cap in the bin and leaned against the counter just as Louis rushed in the room, making me smirk more. His hair was a mess and watching him running everywhere to be ready on time was entertaining.

"Seriously, I can't believe I'm spending Christmas Eve without my girlfriend!" he mumbled under his breath, making me roll my eyes.

"Oh please, you two can spend ONE night apart, can't you?" I argued with a shrug. "Or is it some superhero thing where you both will start getting weaker and eventually die?"

Louis stopped dead in his track and turned to show me an annoyed face that made me laugh again. His eyes became smaller and he pinched his lips. I knew he was half-joking and I played along.

"Some of us actually care about love, you know?" he expressed, turning around again to open my pantry. "And when I say 'some of us' I mean like, 90% of the world population."

I grimaced and took an other sip of my beer, putting it back on the counter.

"I'm fine being a part of the smart 10%." I admitted. "And I'm pretty sure you're not gonna find my watch there. Why don't you try the fridge instead?"

He closed the pantry a bit too roughly for me and turned to face me again. I loved Louis, I knew he was not holding back, not with me not with anyone.

"Yea I know, you're an eternal bachelor. When I first met El-"

I pushed myself from the counter to get back on my feet and cut him before he could add anything.

"When you met El you fell completely in love with her. You loved her through thick and thin, whether you two were together or separated. She's the love of your life, and you don't see yourself with anyone else but her. I know."

He stared at me and blinked a few times before nodding.

"Yes, and one day, you'll find yours, too." he said, making me scoff, as he walked past me.

"I've never loved anyone, and i'm not gonna start any time soon." I replied, turning to him.

He stopped walking completely, making me frown, and finally turned on his heels. His eyes stuck into mine, he waited a few seconds and finally shook his head.

"You never loved anyone?"

I frowned and shrugged, glancing away and putting my hands in my pockets.

"Nop, never."

I was lying through my teeth and just repeating it made my heart jump in my chest. I knew it and Louis knew it too. His gaze was burning me and I finally closed my eyes with a sigh. I didn't want to talk about it and I hoped he would let it go. He normally does, we don't discuss about that time of my life. Louis was my best mate, he could sense it, I knew it. He finally turned around and walked back to my room, yelling as he reached the hall.

"That's a lie, Neil! And we both know it!"

I was happy he was not in the same room anymore. I breathed in deeply, my eyes still closed, and tried to get all these thoughts out of my head. The first time I saw her, the first time I kissed her, the first time I touched her... and then, all these last times too. Falling in love was like trying to swim in quicksand: totally useless and scary. There was no way to get out of it, no way it would end well, no way not to hurt. Love was complicated and hard. I didn't want a complicated life. I wanted things to be easy, and fun. I wanted to lay down on my couch at the end of the day and be content. I didn't want to owe anything to anyone and the obligations I already had were enough. To be responsible for someone's happiness was something I didn't want to take or risk. There was too much at stake, too many mistakes to make, too many hearts to break.

The more I thought about it, the more I tried to convince that I did the right thing, and that this relationship was inevitably going to end anyway, no matter how hard we would have worked on it.

I was completely stuck in my thoughts when Louis reappeared. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times before noticing he was putting my watch on. In his other hand, though, something was hanging on what appeared to be a necklace. A heart. I recognized it immediately and suddenly felt extremely nauseous. Why didn't I get rid of this again?

"Mate, I found this." he chuckled, moving his arm up and making the silver of the heart shine with the artificial light of the kitchen. "That's not your type of jewels, where is this from?"

I stared at it a few seconds and walked the few steps separating us very quickly, snatching it from his hands. The metal felt cold in my hand but at the same time, it was burning my skin in a way I couldn't explain.

"It's nothing, just something a girl I brought here forgot." I walked to the counter and opened one of the doors to throw it in the bin. "I'll never see her again anyway."

"You never bring girls here..." he started, realizing what I was doing. "Hey wait, it seemed quite expensive."

Of course it was expensive, I would never buy something cheap for her. I turned around and shrugged, reaching for my beer and trying to act like it didn't matter.

"What do you want me to do? Sell it?" I let out with sarcasm, chugging half of what was left in the bottle.

"Give it back, maybe?"

He rolled his eyes and walked up to me, opening the door to search the bin. I stopped him, closing the door again without saying a word. He looked up at me, clearly getting pissed at my behavior, but i didn't flinch. I didn't have to talk, the expression plastered on my face said it all. Louis sighed and backed away.

"Whatever, we need to go or we'll be late."

I followed him to the door and grabbed my coat, quickly putting it on before searching for a beanie that would fit.

"Is your son with your sister?" I asked casually, putting the beanie on and making sure it hid my ears. "I haven't seen him in so long."

"Yea, we'll just pick him up on our way."

As soon as we walked out, Louis rubbed his hands together and blew on them to get them warm and I closed the door behind us, locking it quickly. I followed him to his car and sat on the passenger's side, glancing back to see the cute baby car seat. It made me smile and I turned my attention back on the road. I was not a fan of Louis' driving, I thought he drove way too slow, but since it was his car, I tried not to comment on it.

"Thanks so much for coming with me Niall." he let out after a few minutes of silence. "I know it's mostly a christmas party for kids, and that it's not really your cup of tea, but I appreciate it."

I patted his thigh gently and shook my head, glancing by the window.

"Don't thank me, you're very welcome. I'm sure it's gonna be fun with a couple drinks."

"It won't last too long too, ya know we can go back to my place after and drink a few beers." he proposed with a shrug. "I know you're going home only tomorrow."

"Alright, deal, but not too late, I gotta fly early tomorrow."

HER

Whenever I looked at my daughter, she reminded me of Niall. At first, it was almost torture but now, after over 4 years, I was used to it. She caught some of my facial expressions, and she talked a bit like me, too, but when she smiled, I saw Niall, when she laughed, I heard Niall, and when she looked at me with her tired eyes late at night, I could see Niall. Every single time, my heart would jump in my chest before melting immediately. I loved my daughter more than anything in the world and the truth was, I had never really been over Niall.

There are people you know you'll feel connected to all your life. Those two, Niall and my daughter, were on the top of my list. I felt something for them I knew i'd probably never feel for anyone else, and even if I knew it would be better for my sanity to forget about Niall, I couldn't. I had tried, I had made huge effort, I even saw a therapist, but deep down, I knew he was the love of my life, even if I'd never be the love of his.

I sat on my daughter's bed and pulled her closer, sending her a small smile.

"Come on, arms up!"

She stared at me and did as I asked, raising her chin up at the same time. It made me smile and I put her dress on, pulling on it at the bottom gently.

"Alright, turn around."

She moved quickly and gracefully enough for a child, her hair flying around her head, along with the skirt of her dress, making me chuckle.

"I love that dress!"

I tied it on her back and licked my lips as she turned around again to face me.

"I knew you would, that's why I bought it."

Her eyes softened and she let herself fall in my arms. I brought her closer to me, holding her against me and hugging her tight. It was always so surprising to me that she'd be so grateful for things like that. Kids tend not to be that happy about little attentions and it's totally normal, but my daughter was different.

"Mommy?"

I smiled and raised my eyebrows, knowing she had clearly something to ask me. It was in the tone of her voice, and the way she glanced down quickly before looking back deeply in my eyes. Every single time, it made my heart jump. It was definitely just a coincidence, but Niall did the exact same time and somehow, I think both of them were aware I couldn't refuse them anything, or almost.

"It's Christmas and you always let me unwrap a gift every year."

I laughed again and shook my head, twisting her gently and grabbing a brush, bringing it to her hair. She didn't complain, but I knew her eyes were shut tight, as if it would stop the painful feeling of the knots in her hair.

"First off, it's Christmas' Eve, sweetheart." I pointed out, trying to be as gentle as I can. "And second off, you're gonna get a bunch of gifts tonight, which makes me believe you can wait tomorrow to open your gifts."

She didn't wait until I was done and made a volte-face, surprising me slightly but mostly amusing me. She tilted her head and sent me puppy eyes but I shook my head again with a chuckle.

"How about daddy's gift?"

That word always made my heart jump in chest and I swallowed the pain it brought me to send her an other fond smile. It was true. Every year, I tried to give her a gift from Niall. He didn't know of her existence, and she didn't know who he was, but I had a bunch of stuff that belonged to him or reminded me of him, and I thought it was more important for my daughter than it was for me.

Last year, it was an old t-shirt he left at my place and the year before, it was a guitar pic I pierced to put on a bracelet. I knew she desperately wanted to know her dad if only for the fact that her dad's gifts were always her favorites, no matter what i'd buy her. She was wearing the shirt every night to sleep and I had to literally wash it during the day because she wouldn't fall asleep without wearing it. As for the bracelet, she wouldn't even take it off to take a bath.

I looked at her and saw how bad she wanted it. I would even say she needed it.

"Alright, wait for me here."

Her expression turned into an excited one and I quickly walked to my room, grabbing a small box and getting back to her. This time, I sat on the floor and she got on her knees, sitting on her legs. Her dress was spread around her and all I could think about is that she seriously looked like a princess. Or at least, she would when I'd do something with her messy hair.

She stared at the little box in my hand, her eyes so large that her impatience was almost palpable. She didn't say anything though, she waited and waited until I handed her the box. It's not that it bothered me to give it to her, but this jewel meant more to me than I wanted to admit, and although I knew it was just an object, letting it go, even to my own daughter, felt like a sacrifice.

She didn't even take time to try to guess, she simply opened the box and her lips curled into a large smile. She stared at the silver key with a very small purple gem and my heart twisted in my chest again. This brought back so many memories I felt myself tear up but swallowed my pain and sent her a smile.

"You like it?"

She didn't look at me at all, she kept staring at the necklace, fascinated but after a while, I cleared my throat and licked my lips.

"Okay my love, it's time to go or we're gonna be late."

"Can I wear it tonight?"

I held my breath, knowing very well that she expected a positive answer, but if I wanted to be honest with myself, I was so scared she was going to lose it that it made me want to throw up. Perhaps she was still too young for that necklace, but now it was too late.

"Mm, alright, but you need to keep it under your dress at all times, deal?"

I raised my eyebrows, looking at her and raised my hand up in a fist, sticking only my little finger up. A large smile appeared on her lips, showing her cute slightly crooked teeth, and she finally did the same, intertwining her pinky with mine.

"Deal!"

I grabbed the necklace and put it around her neck, sighing as I watched it hang loosely on her chest. She grabbed it with her tiny fingers and put it under her dress quickly before shaking her head, making an even bigger mess of her hair.

"Hey! Come here you little minx!"

She started laughing and my heart melted as I grabbed her and threw her softly on the bed to tickle her. She laughed harder, her legs moving and kicking me, making me laugh too. It lasted a few minutes before we stopped and I tilted my head as she sighed exaggeratedly.

"Okay, your hair now."

I started brushing it and we kept silent, probably both lost in our thoughts, but when she started talking, I knew we hadn't been thinking about the same thing.

"Is uncle Louis gonna be there?"

"Mmhm, yes, he said he would. He's bringing Freddie." I added, trying her hair unto a braid.

I turned her around again and grimaced when i noticed a lock of her hair was falling. It was too short to stick in the braid and even if I was sort of used to it, it annoyed me and I quickly pushed it behind her ear.

"You are the prettiest little girl in the world, you know that, right?"

She sent me a smile and nodded. "Yes, I know!"

"Good."

I walked to my room and she followed me, as usual. We always got her ready first, and then it was my turn.

"Will aunt Eleanor be there too?"

I looked through my closet found a pair of pants that were not jeans, throwing them on the bed.

"No, she already had plans tonight." I replied, trying to find a shirt that would fit and getting slightly annoyed.

"I wanted to show her my dress! I wanted her to see it! She said I could model you know!"

I laughed and glanced at her, noticing her disappointed face.

"You know what? Maybe we can take a picture and send it to her, how's that?"

I watched her quickly nod and did the same, walking back to my bed with a shirt of the same color shade as the pants. I hated getting dressed and I had no idea what was the point. If I could go in sweatpants, I definitely would.

"Noooo no no!"

Without giving me time to react, my daughter walked up to my bed, grabbed the outfit I had picked and tried as best as she could to put it back in my closet, without much success. It ended up in a pool on the floor but I decided to ignore it.

"It's Christmas!" she pointed out, her eyebrows raised as high as possible. "You're putting on a dress."

Her words were firm and her statement final, so I decided not to argue even if being uncomfortable in a dress for the whole evening seemed to be the worst idea I had heard today. We spent too long finding a dress in my closet since I was not even sure I actually owned one but when we were both ready, I got down on my knees to put her some baby pink lipstick with glitters.

"You look perfect." I pointed out.

"You too mommy, your make up in on point."

Her comment made me laugh and I bopped her nose gently.

"Yours too."

The ride was quick enough and we blasted our favorite spotify list on the way, singing loud together as I glanced at her a few times in the rear view mirror. We had out habits and I knew how close we were. We had people we loved and that loved us, but at the end of the day, it was just me and her, and I liked it that way. I wish someone would have told me five years ago how happy i would be with a daughter, but when I thought of the time I was pregnant, all I could really remember was crying myself to sleep every night and feeling extremely lonely. When I gave birth, however, it was a new beginning, and that new life was everything I wanted, everything I could have wished for.

I parked where I could and we walked inside together. I didn't even try to find Louis. knowing he would send me a text when he'd be there and I made my way to get myself a glass of wine, holding my daughter's hand firmly.

"There's chocolate milk, you want one?" I asked over the Christmas music playing.

She nodded quickly and I opened one for her, slipping a straw in it and handing it to her. I poured myself a glass of red wine and suddenly felt something pulling on my dress.

"Mom! The tree! The tree and the gifts!" she yelled looking up, showing me her perfect chocolate mustache. "Can I go!"

I sent her a smile and nodded.

"But stay where I can see you!"

"Promise!"

She ran away and I walked closer to the tree to check on her, staying up but leaning against a wall. A voice made me smile and when I looked up, I noticed Louis walking in, his son in his arms. I waved and he saw me, sending me a big smile and pointing me to Freddie before grabbing his small arm and shaking it to make him wave at me too. I laughed and they walked in my direction, my smile growing with every step they took.

"It's so nice to see you, Lou." I let out, kissing his cheeks.

"You too, where's the little princess?"

I pointed out next to the tree and Louis smiled again as we both stared at my daughter. She had already made friends and it made me chuckle.

"Look, I don't have time to explain, but please, love, forgive me."

I frowned and turned to look into his eyes, noticing guilt written all over his face.

"What for?"

He sighed and glanced back. When his face turned back in my direction, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Just, I hope you forgive me one day."

I opened my lips to ask for more details but I didn't have to. I saw him, and my lips remained parted. He looked good and my heart jumped in my chest. It's been five years, five long years without him, and I thought I was almost healed. But here he was, his charming smile and his light and powerful eyes, and I was in it again. Totally ill. I held my breath as he turned around and when he noticed me, we stared at each other, both speechless and surprised by something we would never have expected : each other.

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