#no wonder why i keep tripping up without a reference

[premamelody]

living

[crybaby-bkg]

Flying the Coop

Gojo and Getou were supposed to love you as much as they loved each other. You even let them turn you into a vampire, so that you could all stay together forever. So why do you still feel like such an outsider?

Warnings: vampirism, human reader turned to a vampire, being referred to as nestling and little one, emotional manipulation, guilt tripping, coercion, cunnilingus, ass play, reader referred to as she/her, double penetration in one hole, cervix fucking, and lots of blood and biting. please let me know if I forgot anything and please enjoy!!

Word Count: 4.8k

Also available on Ao3!

Minors/blank/ageless blogs DNI!

Fuck Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru. You didn’t need them anymore than they needed you, which wasn’t at all. They might’ve been the oldest vampires in the area, probably on earth, but you didn’t give a single fuck if they were only going to treat you like a pet. Not as an equal, despite your newly turned status, but as something they could gawk at and fuss over before pushing away to the end of the bed. Before you became something to grow tired of, before they fell back into each other, their love centuries older than you could ever comprehend, before you could ever fully mesh into their daily lives. 

As a human, you had been drawn to them since you were young and had heard tales of the devils living on the top of the hill. How they never grew old, how some of the townsfolk had gone missing over the years, how they only ever appeared at night, seemingly stepping right out of the shadows. But you weren’t scared of them; you never were. 

Although, you do tremble when you go knocking on their door one night, entire body lit up in anxiety and anticipation and worry for whether or not you’ll make it to the next morning. You try to hold your chin up high when the door creaks open ever so slowly—they always had a thing for the dramatics—and find two pairs of curious eyes meeting you on the other side. 

You ask to be their familiar, claiming to know what they are, how shitty they are at hiding it since you guys aren’t in the eighteenth century anymore. You fear that you might’ve said too much, become too snippy with such ancient beings, but they only laugh at you. Satoru did, especially, with his alarmingly bright blue eyes and shock of white hair, holding his stomach with his hand as he let out an almost screech of a laugh. Suguru had joined him with a smaller chuckle, shaking his head, his untied hair falling in thick strands across his face. 

And without much further preamble, do they let you in. Agree to let you become their familiar, even though they claim to not have had one in centuries, as humans lives are just so unnecessarily short. You should’ve known then that they were up to something, that the plan in the long run was never to keep you as a human pet. No, you were far too interesting, too new, too shiny, too pretty, for them to ever want to let you go. 

Five years into being Satoru and Suguru’s familiar, do they turn you into a vampire alongside them. You tell yourself that you wanted the transformation, but you start to think back on the idea now, wonder if it was ever an original thought, question when the idea first popped up on its own without their influence. The idea was always pretty cool to you; you could develop different and unique powers, you would be super fast, have pretty long fangs which was definitely a plus, but—

But you never truly wanted this for yourself, did you? A lonely nobody, exiled from their family for wanting to live with devils, turned away from by the people who used to love you when you were small. And now you had to walk the earth alone for the rest of your days, killing the people who used to look just like you, who you used to share bread with, spill blood together. And now, here you are; stealing it like the air from their lungs, greedy, your belly never truly full, always just on the precipice of starvation. 

Suguru says this stage will past eventually, that you’re just a nestling for now, still always hungry, still wanting to feed from its mothers mouth. But you have never known starvation to be so consuming, that all you can think about is filling your mouth with hot blood until it pools from your lips, only to follow the trail with your tongue until there are no traces left. 

You never really wanted to be a vampire, did you? You never wanted to live forever, to have to see all of your favorite people die, to learn to love new ones, just for them to leave you as well. You never wanted to hide in the shadows—the sun feels so good on your skin, its warmth, its softness a comfort against flesh that welcomed its heat. You miss the sun. You miss being able to go out during the day and laugh with others that didn’t cower at the mere sight of you. 

Satoru says this stage will pass eventually, that you’re just a nestling for now, still always yearning for a life that never served you any good. He tells you that you’ll learn to appreciate your new body, tells you how overrated the sun is, that being able to walk the streets at night without fear is better than any warmth the sun could give you. Besides, he had said, if you need warmth, I know a few ways to heat up the body? 

The undead body, you had to remind him, that never once inched up in temperature, that was always just a touch too icy for your liking when you were still human. And now look at you; as cold as them, thirstier than you’ve ever been in your entire life. It was selfish. The entire act of turning you was selfish. 

But at least you all could be a couple now, right? At least you would finally be one of them, on their level, despite the seemingly eons amount of distance of age between you and the other immortals? You would finally be more than just a pet, right? Right? 

How desperate you were to be right. How terrible that you couldn’t be more wrong. 

You were always just a plaything for them. Something they promised held an equal amount of weight in the relationship, but you were nothing more than a shared pup, something for them to love on and fuck and nuzzle against, but never something permeant, something more concrete. 

They had laughed at your outburst, only a few weeks after being turned. How your eyes had gone red and you started floating from the floor, your mouth stretched wide and your fangs bared so long. You only looked like a child throwing a temper tantrum, your fangs mere baby teeth that they couldn’t wait to coo over after ripping them from your head. 

“Little nestling,” Suguru had cooed, arms stretched open from where he sat on the expansive love seat, a tiny smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Stop making such a fuss and come lay down. You’ll tire yourself out much too quickly.” 

It was like you were talking to a brick wall, one that only ever viewed you as something tiny and petulant. Like you could be soothed by being cradled, rocked to sleep and easily taken care of, like your outburst and anger was simply a reason of your near constant hunger. Like you were less than them. (But you always have been, haven’t you? You’ve only ever been something so new and fresh and tiny? Never quite equal? Never quite measuring up?) 

“Cmon, little one,” Satoru had cooed next, his tone dripping in sarcasm, as he, too, opened his arms in invitation, mocking. “Come lay with mommy and daddy so we can make you feel better.” 

You could only stand there, floating back down to the floor as your anger washed away from you. A cold feeling sunk in instead, something detached, something so hurt and broken, that every unnecessary inhale felt like a sharp stab to your lungs. Their bickering about who was mommy and who was daddy fell on deaf ears, your eyes fading back to a normal color as you slowly turn away from them. 

They don’t even notice you’re gone, until your scent is only a lingering smell lingering by the front doors that you’ve left open. You hadn’t taken anything but the clothes on your back as you left, both hurt and angry that they didn’t come after you. That they let you wander for weeks and weeks alone. 

That was the curse of vampirism, wasn’t it? Needing companionship? Needing someone to be by your side? So why did they need you? Why make you when they already had each for so fucking long—why drag you into their arms, why hold onto you so tight, why—why did they let you go so easily? Why didn’t they fight for you? 

No other vampire would care for you as much as they did, not with their scent permanently mingled in with your own. Satoru and Suguru were some of the oldest, most strongest vampires to have ever walked the earth. Every other vampire knew not to fuck with them, nor the things that they staked claim on. It only made immortal life harder. 

You were still just a nestling, determined to prove yourself a fledgeling but—but hunting was so hard. You rarely had to do it on your own, always had Satoru catch the humans, Suguru dispose of the body. Now you had to do all of that without getting caught, without making too much of a scene wherever you went. You couldn’t—you couldn’t do it. 

Admitting defeat hurt more than you had expected it to, but you couldn’t remember the last time you ate, and you were only growing weaker by the days. Suguru found you, on the verge of being swallowed whole by the sun, laying on their front door steps, hand still posed midair to knock, too weak from hunger to do anything but lay there and die. 

Suguru only chuckled at the sight of you. Scooped up your limp body as if you weighed nothing, tutting at you the entire time under his breath, but you could just barely make out his smile. 

“Look at what I found decaying by our front door,” Suguru said after climbing the many steps, depositing you on the end of the bed that Satoru laid on, the curtains drawn to swallow the room in darkness. He lays you down gently, his touch cold, your body stiff, your stomach curling in on itself with hunger. 

“It took you too long to come home, little one.” Satoru had pouted, slithering down the bed until he hovered above you. He noted your chapped lips and faded eyes, how you kept easing in and out of consciousness. He smiled at the weak sight of you, holding his hand out as Suguru pattered over to the other side of the room, opening up the glass case that held too much blood for only two—three—vampires. Suguru hummed softly to himself as he poured a nice, heavy glass, passing it to Satoru as he sat beside your head, the blue eyed man grinning above you. 

“Do you want to feed, little one?” Satoru asks softly when you’re conscious enough to focus on his gaze, having the nerve to look just a tad bit scared, hopeless. You can only pout your lips the way you know he likes, always the one to concede so easily to your wishes. But Suguru tuts from beside you, positioning your head in his lap as he helps you sit up ever so slightly, Satoru pressing the rim of the cup to your lips. But he doesn’t tilt it, keeps the sweet smelling blood so close, yet so far from reach. You’re too weak to grab it for yourself, always so dependent on them, just the way they like it. 

“Then you have to promise to never, ever leave us again, little nestling.” Suguru says quietly, but his voice is firm. He holds your jaw tight in his hands, stops you from even getting a drip of blood between the cracks of your lips. He waits until you look up at him, his eyes a deep plum, his mouth set in a thin line. 

“Do you promise?” Satoru asks softly, teasing the cup to his own mouth, a threat to take it all away if you don’t comply, conform to their fucked up family where your only role is to always be chosen second. 

“I promise.” You croak out, coughing from the dryness of your throat, already starting to fade out of consciousness again from the lack of eating in so long. 

“Good,” Suguru hums, finally easing his grip from your jaw to allow Satoru to tip the cup to your mouth. “We’ll make a blood promise then.” 

You’re not sure if you hear the last part correctly, too busy wincing at how your fangs burst from your gums, how they bite into the glass cup that Satoru pours into your mouth. You try to sit up on your own, take the cup from him, but Suguru only nestles you into his grip, nuzzling you against his stomach, Satoru holding firm on the cup, controlling just how much you guzzle down second by second. 

“Poor little nestling,” Satoru coos with a chuckle. “Couldn’t even hunt on her own for a few weeks. You still can’t even hold your neck up by yourself, little one.” He presses gentle, soft kisses to the roundness of your cheek, watching the way you quickly start to gather your strength with every passing second, every swallow of the thick nectar. 

“But that’s okay, right, Satoru?” Comes Suguru’s teasing voice, running a finger down the slope of your neck, holding his palm there to feel the way you swallow. “She’ll never be able to leave us again. Our very own little nestling to take care of.” 

“Its time for us to take care of our little one now, don’t you think?” Satoru asks, pulling away the now empty cup, taking in the panting sight of you. You look so much like you did the day you left, all pouty and confused, wanting to be so big and strong on your own, not knowing that the umbilical cord was never actually cut. 

When you don’t answer, Satoru tilts your chin up to face him, Suguru dipping his head down to trace the faint lines of blood that escaped from the corners of your mouth with the tip of his tongue. You try to bite back a whimper, feeling much more like prey than you ever have, even when you were still human. 

“So weak and depleted.” Suguru hums, pulling you into his lap as he eases both himself and you to lay against the pillows at the top of the bed. He cradles your body against his own, your upper half curled toward him to lap at the blood that coats your teeth, your tiny little fangs. You pull away ever so slightly to watch Satoru crawl up the bed in front of you, akin to a snow leopard, all deadly predator with that glint in his eyes, with the way his smile curls up deviously at the corners. 

“What do you think, baby?” Satoru asks, but you’ve never had much choice in this relationship, have you? You nod, only to appease them, but you know they would’ve taken what they wanted anyway, in the end. And what they want—what they’ve wanted from you—was your pleasure. Even if it meant they never got off, even if it meant they would miss out on days and days of sleep just to torture you with their mouths and hands and cocks—its all they’ve ever wanted. 

Was it boredom, that had settled into their relationship? Is that why they had changed things up, brought you along with them? To be some plaything? To keep you needy and dependent on them, because what other vampires would worship you the way they did? What other vampires would spoil you? Hunt for you, clean for you, and fuck you nice and heavy after until you were drunk on being full, in more ways than you could count? 

So you lay there, and you take it. Let them do whatever they want to you, because they’ve always known whats best for you, more than you ever have for yourself, haven’t they? 

Suguru strips off his shirt as Satoru peels your own dirtied and tattered layers from your skin until you’re bared in front of them. Suguru guides your head to his chest, his nipple grazing your mouth as he forces your lips open, prying them apart with thick fingers. 

“You’ll need some of my blood, little nestling, to heal even faster.” He tells you, grazing his thumb on your elongated fangs until his skin splits open, dripping a few droplets of crimson into your mouth. “Bite me, right here, and feed.” 

You’re too high on the addictive taste of such old, powerful blood to care that he’s directing you to bite him right over his nipple, to suckle from his chest like the babe he’s always looked at you as. You’re too high on the taste of him to care about the sight you make; your head cradled in the thick bicep of his arm, his hair untied and casting a shadow over your face, his thumb caressing your cheek as you suckle around his nipple until his blood leaks from the corners of your mouth. 

Satoru only chuckles under his breath at the sight as he settles himself between your thighs, sticky and soft from the aphrodisiac that flows in Suguru’s blood. It was one of the special powers he was gifted after being turned so long ago, a secret that only the two of them share. It makes moments like these all the more intoxicating, knowing that you’ll be begging for both of them in mere minutes. 

Satoru bites you without warning, his thicker, longer fangs seemingly touching bone from how deep they reside in your skin. You whimper at the feeling, unable to pull away from Suguru’s chest as you grip the soft locks of Satoru’s hair. He bites from your stomach, to your inner thighs, your mound. His lips pull back from his teeth as he hovers over your swelling clit, in threat, in promise, laughing under his breath when you grip his hair even tighter and cry out around Suguru’s breast. 

“I’m only kidding, little one,” Satoru teases, pressing a bloody kiss to your folds, wet and loud and smacking. Your hips jerk slightly in response, body relaxing ever so slowly as you continue to swallow mouthfuls of Suguru’s blood, your head feeling light and heavy as the pleasure overcomes you. 

“So sensitive,” Suguru notes as he plucks your nipple from where he cradles you, how you whine in response, how you push your hips toward Satoru’s waiting, red mouth. 

He licks you, from your wet little hole to the tip of your clit, and when that isn’t enough, he repositions you until your thighs rest on his shoulders. Your ass doesn’t even touch the bed anymore, and thats the way he likes it, as Satoru carves a path from your rim to the top of your cunt. He licks you like that again and again until you’re dripping, slick and blood sliding from your pelvis to messy onto the old and expensive sheets beneath you. 

“Did you miss this, little nestling?” Suguru asks, cupping your cheek so that you could blink up at him through thick, fluttering lashes. Your lips are swollen from how much you’ve drunk from him, mouth red and pretty, draining him so much, but he can’t help but indulge you just a bit more. His baby, his sweet little thing. 

“How about this?” Satoru asks when you don’t answer fast enough, sucking your clit into his mouth as if the nub fills the entirety of it. He sucks at your clit the same way you’ve seen him suck Suguru’s cock; like its a mouthful, like the tip of it hits the back of his throat. But the pleasure is too good to complain, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as your hips cant against his face, mouth falling away from Suguru’s tit. 

“Yes,” you pant, holding onto Satoru’s hair as he swallows thickly like your clit fills his mouth, holding your hips steady to fuck the throbbing little thing against his thick tongue. “Missed you both so much. S’sorry, I’m so sorry for leaving,” you slur, blood still thick and heavy against your teeth and gums, but they only coo at the desperate sight of you. 

“Poor baby,” Suguru mockingly pouts, slipping his fingers into your mouth, coated in his own blood, fucking them down your throat. You can’t stop your gagging, nor does Suguru want you to, his cock throbbing at the way your throat closes around his digits. He fingers your fang as he pulls his own out, gripping it between his forefinger and thumb, a threat. 

“You know, bad nestlings usually get their fangs ripped out by their sires when they disobey.” Suguru says softly, so easily, you would’ve thought that he was confessing his undying love to you with that tone. You want to panic, you tell yourself to get up, rip yourself away from them, save yourself, but you feel too good to do anything but lay there. You’re so close to coming; Satoru’s tongue feels so good against your clit, Suguru’s fingers stuff your mouth so good. 

“What do you think, Satoru?” He asks, tipping your head back with his grip on your fang, leaning down to ghost his own over the swell of your cheek. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper around his finger in your mouth, your voice lost beneath the slurping of Satoru against your clit, the teasing words of Suguru. 

“Be nice, Suguru,” the blue eyed man says quickly before attaching himself back to your clit, lashing his tongue against the swollen and fat bud. 

“Always so easy and quick to forgive, hmm?” Suguru teases, still not letting go of your fang, still holding you on the precipice of explosion. When he pulls ever so slightly, and when Satoru sucks your clit harshly into his mouth, do you finally tip over the edge. Cum so hard that your entire body spasms, your cries loud and echoing in the quiet house, trembling all over until you suck in a breath that you don’t need. 

As you come down from your high, you feel them moving you, rearranging you until you’re nestled between them, Satoru at your front as he kisses you sloppily with wetted lips. Suguru presses open mouthed kisses along your nape and shoulders, biting every so often just to hear you exhale shakily. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble after a few seconds of silence, burying your face in Satoru’s chest. He hums, rubbing at your flank as he positions your thigh to hook over his own, Suguru nuzzling in closer as you feel his cock poke at your inner thigh. You should’ve known that this wasn’t over yet, that they wouldn’t let you off so easily with just one orgasm. It was barely morning yet. For your insolence, you’d be lucky if they let you free anytime in the next month. 

“Show us how sorry you are by taking both of us at the same time,” Satoru whispers into your hair, his own cock sliding against Suguru’s as they fight for the space between you. You open your mouth to agree; its nothing new, letting them fuck you at the same time, one in your pussy, the other in your ass. But only then do you realize, that they mean in the same hole at once. 

“I-I don’t—”

“I thought you were so remorseful about leaving us all high and dry for so long?” Suguru asks from behind you, sliding his cock between your slick lips. 

“I am, but you guys haven’t even prepped me,” you’re cut off again by Satoru this time, who rubs his tip against Suguru’s, your slick the lube for them. 

“This new body of yours adjusts and heals so much faster than your old one. Why not try it out now?” He asks, tilting your head up so that you’re fully consumed by his gaze, by the blood that still stains his mouth, the brightness of his eyes in the dark room. 

You’re not sure you’re even allowed to say no. 

So you let them do whatever they please with you, as you always have, so dependent on their word and how well they’ll take care of you. It hurts, the way they stretch you, both pushing inside of your too small cunt at the same time. You cry out that it won’t fit, that one of them should’ve entered first then the other, that your ass is still an option. But they ignore you, kissing each other over your head, swallowing their own moans and gasps of pleasures as their cocks kiss inside of you, nestled much too close to your cervix. 

You feel like your entire lower half is ripping and splitting itself into two from the painful stretch; Satoru’s cock is so long, Suguru’s is so thick. You think you can taste them in the back of your throat when they finally settle both of their cocks inside of you, filling you to the brim. Vampires can’t cry, they can’t breathe, but you take a wet, shuddering inhale as you bury your face into Satoru’s neck, wrapping your arms around him as you struggle to adjust. 

But then, Suguru’s bleeding wrist is thrust in front of your face, and your head is so light, you don’t think twice before drinking from him. Letting his essence flow into you, how it suddenly makes the pain subside into something pleasurable, how you suddenly feel like two cocks stuffed in your hole is just enough. 

“Fuck me,” you whisper when Suguru gently pries his wrist from your mouth, smearing the still leaking blood against Satoru’s parted lips. He licks them, grinning, giving Suguru a knowing look over your head as they communicate silently. 

Satoru moves first, quick and much too harsh if you were still a human. You were sure you’d break if so, with the way his claws dig into your sides and how he pistons his hips much too fast for any regular eye to see. Suguru follows him at his own pace, leisurely, but deep, his tip kissing against your cervix with every thrust, until you’re sure he’s close to fucking into your womb. 

The differences of their paces is otherworldly, makes your crying out and moaning a jumbled mess of chords amongst their own noises. Sometimes they’re both inside of you at the same time, their tips fighting to press against your cervix at once, and other times, only Satoru’s tip is inside while Suguru nuzzles deep inside of you. The differences of their sizes makes your head spin, feeling like they’re touching you everywhere, inside and out. 

Satoru’s mouth is on yours; Suguru’s stealing you from him, his fangs pressed against your tongue; Satoru reaches around to push a finger inside of your ass with a bloodied and slicked digit; Suguru presses around to rub your clit with thick fingers, stuffing an extra finger in your already full hole just to feel you tighten up around them even more. They’re mean, laughing at your whimpers and cries, using you again and again until you burst around them, squirting all over their cocks, making an even bigger mess on the already ruined sheets. 

“Fuck, I missed feeling you cum on our cocks,” Satoru moans, scissoring two fingers inside your ass as Suguru keeps fingering at your clit, making your hips jerk and spasm as you try to claw your way out of their grips. 

“Cmon, you got one more in there for us, don’t you, little one?” Suguru teases, laughing when you vigorously shake your head and claw at his arm, drawing more blood to messy the three of you. They don’t take you seriously though, knowing that they’ll force it out of you if need be. 

And they do exactly that; fucking you, touching you everywhere, with their mouths, their hands, their cocks, until you cum again, squeezing them so hard that they reach their own peaks. Neither of them pull out, filling you up so thickly with their cum, you think you can taste it in the back of your throat. Your stomach feels heavy, as you imagine it bloating from how much they spill inside of you, both biting at different parts of your body as they spill rope after thick, hot rope of cum inside your aching pussy. 

And even then, when you’re spent and aching and tired and dripping with more cum than you thought possible; its not enough. Nothing has ever satisfied them, and you’re not sure if anything ever will. Not until you break for them, just so they could build you back up, put your pieces back together again. Only then are you sure, that you’ll finally be enough for them and their greed.  

thank you all so much for reading! likes/reblogs/comments/asks are so greatly appreciated ♥️

[junimojo]

More Bob headcanons because you guys really seemed to like the first one

(+ some SentryAgent if you squint)

TW: suicidal thoughts/attempt, & mentions of past addiction

I’m genuinely floored that my first Thunderbolts headcanon post got so much positive feedback and I didn’t think anyone would see it or care, so I really appreciate all of the kind comments! Doing this is helping me get back into the groove of writing again and it’s turning into a nice coping mechanism as someone with GAD and PTSD. It’s nice to finally have a character like Bob to relate to. I’m glad other people like these as much as I do!

Headcanons start under the cut. Please refer to the trigger warnings at the top of the post and in the tags. Movie spoilers are also ahead!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Growing up, Bob was always told that he looked just like his dad. A spitting image of him, even. From the time he was old enough, he kept his hair longer and always shaved his face clean. He would rather not have the face that hated him stare back at him in the mirror.

The first time the team heard Bob laugh out loud was during a trust exercise in training when Alexei suggested a trust fall. Ava didn’t catch Walker. The thud of Walker’s body hitting the floor and the much too long silence that followed made Bob double over and laugh so hard he lost his balance and fell. Not a giggle or a chuckle– a genuine, loud, belly laugh and a smile so wide that his cheeks hurt. (Bonus: Bob snorts when he laughs really hard. He hates it, but it’s how everyone knows he’s enjoying himself. Walker denies his heart skipped a beat when he watched Bob fall down laughing. Bisexual awakening has officially begun.)

Solo or group grocery shopping trips usually end with Bob coming back to the tower with snacks, sugary drinks and/or candy. Walker teases him for having the diet of a teenager whenever they go together, but he learns Bob rarely got to try these things as a teenager due to his addiction, so he lets him throw whatever he wants into the cart. He likes sour and gummy candy the best.

Bob’s the type of person to complain about his stomach hurting after drinking milkshakes, but he still does it anyways because they’re good. He missed out on a lot of things during his addiction and he isn’t going to let a stomachache ruin it, no matter how much he’ll hate himself for it later. “That’s a problem for me 2 hours from now.” He says. And then he whines about how his stomach hurts and he thinks he’s gonna throw up. He never learns.

Quality time, acts of service and physical touch are Bob’s love languages. He doesn’t need to be doing the same activity the team is doing. Just as long as they’re nearby or he’s in the same room as them, he’s fine with being a fly on the wall or in the corner doing his own thing. He keeps his mind busy by doing chores or other small deeds around the tower, like cleaning, laundry, the dishes, or (attempting to) cook dinner. The way Bob physically relaxes when he’s hugged or has his face cupped in someone’s hands is both adorable and sad seeing how touch starved he is. The smallest touch can bring him comfort, even if it’s linking pinky fingers, letting a hand rest on his lower back, or the gentle scratch of a beard brushing against his cheek.

There are some nights where Bob will have an occasional nightmare or two. He doesn’t know he talks and cries in his sleep, or sometimes he cries out to his mom. Yelena once went to check on Bob in the middle of the night when she heard him crying, but she found somebody had beat her to him, listening to quiet shushing and hushed comforts. Bob woke up confused that morning wondering why Walker was in his room, snoring away next to him.

Bob is afraid of heights, but he found himself at the top of the tower one day. He’s afraid to die, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about how the team would be better off without him. He’s basically a walking nuke that needs constant monitoring or else Manhattan will disappear again, or worse. He wasn’t able to control himself yet. He didn’t want to put the team through that responsibility and to him, simply leaving wasn’t the best option. Bob did almost fall, if it wasn’t for his shaky legs, tripping over himself and falling flat on his back onto the roof. He laid there, staring at the sky and cried his heart out. He’s grateful to be afraid of heights.

[flameunquenched]

well, i don't feel 100% yet but i do really want to start my meta series of analyzing higgs's journals so here we are. i dunno yet how often i will do these, whether it will be a weekly or "as i feel like it" thing but it is definitely gonna be a thing.

as a note: i do plan on using some personal headcanons as well as more popular fanon in this analysis. there will be references to childhood sexual assault as well as canonical details of severe physical abuse. it is your responsibility to moderate your online experience, not mine. any added emphasis is mine, of course.

so, without further ado, let's discuss journal #1.

Today I made a delivery to a shelter near Middle Knot City. It was my longest trip to date— a new personal best.

look, this is ADORABLE. the unfortunate thing about the journals is that we don't really have information as to when they were written. we do know that this is, of course, during higgs's time as a porter and my guess is that it is probably decently early in his career as one.

Back when I was starting out, people tried to warn me off the life, saying it was dangerous for prepper youngins to make runs, and that no one would ever really trust me. But what was I supposed to do? Kids without parents need to eat too, and it's not like I had any skills. Two arms, two legs, whole lotta grit— that's all I had to offer.

hoooo boy. the fact that he notes it as being "dangerous" for prepper kids (that spelling of "younguns" is interesting, btw, speaking as an actual proper goddamn southerner) kinda breaks my heart a little. the preppers in the game are clearly not well-trusted and my guess is that his uncle (who i will be calling daddy, as that is what higgs repeatedly refers to him as) was neither well-trusted nor well-liked. of course, that is just my speculation, but i reckon i'm not far off the mark there.

i do wonder who these people were that warned him against the porter lifestyle. it appears as a general rule that porters are both well-liked and very well respected, if the acclaim for sam is anything to go by. this makes sense, given the extreme changes from the world that you and i live in versus the world that these characters exist in.

"kids without parents need to eat too." the implication behind this to me is heartbreaking. he refers to himself as a kid and that really makes me wonder at what point he actually did kill daddy. i'll go into detail on my thoughts about everything related to his daddy in later metas, though. i have always assumed that higgs was young when he killed daddy, however, and i think this is a big point towards him being around 16 when the death happened.

Worked out okay so far. I bring people what they need, and in return they do right by me. the more deliveries I make, the more orders I get. Never a porter around when you need one, so as long as you don't fuck up too badly, someone ought to throw you a bone.

@silmarillisms (aka finn, so whenever i mention finn, know i mean this person lol) and i discussed that money is not a thing anymore, which makes perfect sense considering there's not even a goddamn centralized government anymore. to my understanding, the like system is essentially a barter system, where you want to try and keep the likes you have roughly equal to the likes you give. a really damn cool system imo.

Helps that I've got a sixth sense for BTs, too. Pretty rare, that. It's probably one of the reasons why I get so much work.

y'all, he is so southern. i watched a little interview with troy baker and troy said something to the effect of "higgs sounds southern bc he wants to, not necessarily bc he is southern" and i just...respectfully, mr. baker, i just don't see that lmfao. i know troy baker is also southern, having been born in texas, and i know he's the va/mocap for higgs, but on this, he is just wrong. higgs is southern. i see SO many southern ticks in just this journal, never mind all the rest of them. it isn't just the way he talks in game, it's about the way that he writes too.

"youngins" for example, though admittedly the more common spelling is "younguns." "whole lotta grit" is another. it's a very southern mindset to have a "whole lotta grit."

higgs not yet knowing exactly what the "sixth sense" he has actually is amuses me a little. there's an ignorance there that you know he resented upon finding out what that was called.

Sometimes people praise me— tell me I'm doing society a service by helping my fellow man. Can't say that factors into it. I'd sooner keep to myself if I could. But I've got to survive somehow, and I sure as hell ain't gonna manage by myself.

this last little bit is really fascinating to me. this man is not selfless in the slightest, that much is brazenly obvious from the word go. but there are pieces in later journals that show that his stance here - wanting to "keep to myself if I could" - rather abruptly changes. he goes from "keeping to himself" to "community is all" over the course of what i assume it at least a handful of years. i think some of it is coffin's influence and also some of it just being his perspective changing as he ages.

it's important to remember, i think, that this journal could have been (and very likely was) written while he was still very young - possibly as young as just eighteen or nineteen, if not maybe even a touch younger. i think a lot of the "keep to myself" attitude and mindset was largely drawn from daddy's teachings regarding how cruel the world was and how very much withdrawn from the world daddy was at the time of his death.

i do certainly think - and to an extent, am certain - that higgs grew to love the praise that he was given and that may have had a factor in his shift from "keep to myself" to being a fan of building communities. people like being praised, after all, especially children who have suffered abuse. at this point, though, he is still seeing porting as just a means for survival and not all that much else, which i honestly think is totally fair and even expected.

he's a kid who just got out of an impossible situation entering into a world that is actively trying to kill him and everyone else. just surviving day to day is definitely a challenge.

and that concludes this journal! i'd love to know your thoughts! did i miss something or was there something i could have expounded more on? i will say, as a note, that my childhood was nothing like higgs's. my parents were not physically abusive so all of my knowledge regarding that is drawn from reading accounts of it and speaking with friends who were physically abused so there is always a chance that i misspoke in regards to his abuse! and if i did, please correct me! i want to learn and thus grow! all i ask is that you be respectful to me so i can in turn be respectful back to you.

like i said, no idea how often i'll do these but it was fun to write. been a hot sec since i wrote meta for real. anyway, please feel free to let me know what you think either by replying, reblogging, DMing, or sending an ask!

[padfootagain]

The Car Trap

Hi!!!!! Here I am again, back to my old antics! Yes, I’m adding one more person to my masterlist. Yes, I am going to hell for this, and you know what? I’ll have such a great time!

Anyway, no one asked for this, except for me, as I was desperate for some Hozier fics, and couldn’t find any new ones anymore! So, here we go! Hope you like this, let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, angst to fluff! Friends to lovers, snowed-in… in a car… *hihihihihihhi!!!*

Summary: You're offered a job in Switzerland, and you're ready to accept it. It would offer you a new beginning, a way to forget about the love you have for your best friend. But a trip through a snowstorm with Andrew might change everything...

Word Count: 7282

Hozier’s Masterlist - Main Masterlist

This trip was a disaster.

A fucking, outrageously terrible disaster…

The weather was terrible, for a start. And that was a statement made with an Irish reference, which was saying a lot. It had been raining so hard you had to stop the car for a while as you could not see the road ahead at all. Then it was time for so much wind that your fingers were cramping over the strength used to hold the wheel. Four hours later, it was getting dark, the sun already setting and the sky heavy with clouds that blocked all sunlight. And it was snowing.

Fucking snowing.

Great. Wonderful. Lovely.

Oh, but if only the problem was held by the capricious weather… no… no, this was but a part of the issue. You could even say that this was the top of the iceberg, just a tiny fraction of the shit you were buried under.

Because your phone had died. But then again, you had no signal anyway to get the help of a friendly and absolutely annoying GPS; and in the passenger seat by your side, your best friend was struggling with a fifteen-year old map that was so out-of-date that it might as well have not existed for the help it got you…

You were lost. You were fucking lost, in the middle of nowhere, while it was getting dark and snowing and there was nothing manmade in sight to ask for help.

Wonderful. Truly, wonderful.

Oh, and that was without mentioning that the best friend in question was also the man you had been in love with for years but had never dared confess your feelings to.

Outrageously bad, that road trip, really…

Andrew picked up his phone to get some more light, his glasses perched haphazardly on his nose as he tried to decipher names printed on the large map splayed across his laps; hair held back in a low bun, allowing you to see his focused features.

“So?”

He merely hummed in response, a long finger following a dark line.

“Do you have any idea where we are?” you insisted.

“None whatsoever,” he shook his head.

He sat back in his seat, before rubbing his eyes.

“I mean… we’ll end up crossing a village at one point if we keep going along this road,” he sighed. “I don’t have a better plan for now.”

“We might have to stop at one point, though. The snow is getting heavy.”

“I had never envisioned dying from the cold in the middle of nowhere on some random Irish road…” Andrew joked, his tone almost contemplative, and you couldn’t refrain a chuckle.

“And with you! Absolutely not. There’s no way I’m dying with you, of all people.”

“Why not? You don’t want to see me dying?”

“I don’t want my last moments to be shared with someone as annoying as you.”

He tried to throw back some witty remark, but his laughter was too much to handle.

He had pushed back the seat as far as possible, of course, in an attempt to accommodate his long limbs, but even in this position, his legs were not fully extended before him, his knees hitting the dashboard at every bump of the road.

You forced your gaze to go back to the road again, squinting your eyes to see through the heavy snow that fell now, instead of lingering on his legs.

God… you were so damn ridiculous…

His quiet rumble of a laugh finally died out, but a smile remained set on his features, even though his tone was serious as he spoke again.

“We can still turn the engines on every once in a while to get some heat.”

“Won’t that drain the battery or something?”

“If we don’t do it too much, it should be fine. Besides, it’s not minus twenty outside, relax. We’ll be fine.”

You merely nodded, falling, as always, for the safety in his quiet voice and the warmth of his tone.

Besides, it was easier to believe in the certainty of his voice, in its soothing sound, than to face the snow falling more and more heavily outside, the night creeping over the distant mountains, right beyond the green fields. Their silhouettes were almost made invisible now by the low light, you could only guess their shadows. Despite the headlights, you could barely make out the stony walls on each side of the road, mostly devoured by ivy and thickets. You had slowed down your pace, driving slowly in fear that a wild animal would suddenly jump in front the car, or that you would miss a random house set by the road.

It was also easier to focus on the silly story he was using to quieten your mind rather than to mention the reason behind this trip across the countryside.

You were leaving.

You were leaving Ireland to settle in Switzerland for a job. Or well, nothing was fixed for now, but you had an amazing opportunity. A first trip to the country to meet your future boss in person was planned for the following week, and at the end of these three days spent in Geneva, you had to sign your contract. You would then have about a month to find a place and move there.

So, you and your best friend had decided to enjoy a little road trip together. Driving all the way to the other side of the country. Staying at an Airbnb near the western coast. Enjoying four days together spent by the sea, the cliffs, and an awful lot of chips and beer.

You had been puzzled by Andrew’s reaction when you told him about your new job. He had seemed… unphased by it.

Of course, with his career, he was often away, and you were used not to live close to each other for long periods of time. Still, you were always one of the first people he visited whenever he was home. And while he stayed in Ireland, you spent most of your time together. As if he wanted to soak in as many moments as he could before he would leave again. And yet, when you told him that you would move to another country, he didn’t even blink. He gave you a smile, congratulated you, offered you a warm hug, and that was it. He asked about the job, about the place where you would live… and that was it. No disappointment in the thought of you leaving. No sadness at the thought of not having you around. No heartbreak whatsoever…

But then again, you were a fool for hoping that he would feel this way. Because he was… Andrew. Absolutely-lovely, amazing-hair, siren-voiced, hilariously-witty, unbearably-gentle Andrew. You had been friendzoned a few weeks after your first encounter, and you had no reason to believe that his feelings had changed. Actually, this new job, you took it as an opportunity to forget him. Move on. And not only because many miles would separate your homes, but because you weren’t leaving on your own.

Another one of your colleagues, Tom, had been approached by the same company as you had. He had already accepted the offer, and he was thrilled when he learned that you were leaving for Geneva as well. You knew he had a crush on you. He was pretty obvious about it. If he had never crossed a line, it was clear that he wanted you to give him a chance. And who knew? Perhaps this new beginning, with another man that you quite frankly found great, could mean you finally moving on from your stupid crush on your best friend. A new start, in another country. After spending a few weeks getting used to this new place, this new corporation, this new workplace… perhaps you would give Tom a chance. You desperately needed to forget Andrew, after all…

Of course, you didn’t know that you were completely, utterly wrong… about everything. That Andrew wanted to cry at the mere thought of you leaving. That he held you too tight and for too long that afternoon when, bathed in the neon light of your kitchen, you told him you were moving so far away from him, because he didn’t want you to see the tears in his eyes. He didn’t have the right to hold you back. He was but a friend to you, and friends needed to be supportive, and this was such a great opportunity for you, and… and he was only your friend.

Only your goddamn friend. As if Andrew hadn’t longed to be much more than that after a mere week spent in your company. But you had met before he would leave, touring for his second album, the timing was all wrong. He couldn’t ask you out for a couple of dates just to get you attached to him, before he would disappear for months on the other side of the planet. That wasn’t fair. He wanted to do things the right way. So, he kept his distance at first, unwilling to get too attached himself. But then, when he came home months later… you weren’t single anymore.

The fool… he had lost his chance. And over the years, the two of you had built such a great friendship that he didn’t want to take the risk anymore. Besides, he was certain that you didn’t see him this way. You had been in relationships, he had been in relationships… you had never showed any sign that would make him feel that he was more than a friend to you. Even when he tried to get you jealous, at the beginning, right after your break-up… but it didn’t work. The lure fell into the water in a deafening defeat, and he had made up both his mind and heart. You weren’t interested. He didn’t blame you. With his chaotic lifestyle.. who in their mind would settle for that?

Did it stop Andrew from still being in love with you, even after all this time? No, of course it did not. And the thought that you wouldn’t be home with him anymore…

He looked away, through the window, just to hide the tears that rose to his eyes all over again. He rested his elbow against the cold window, his lips to the back of his hand, biting lightly in the skin to calm down. He had no right to try to hold you back… no right at all… Was it your fault if he was enough of a fool to fall for his best friend? The cliché was almost too much to bear…

When he turned to you again, though, he couldn’t help the warm, fond feeling that invaded his chest at the sight of you. During the moment of silence you were both bathing into, disturbed solely by the wind and the tires over the frozen road, the night had almost conquered the last remnants of sunlight that lingered there, held against the eastern riff of the mountains. The headlights and the dim lights coming from the headboard were enough for him to see your features, though. They were enough for him to long to brush that strand of hair behind your ear, to lean across the car to kiss your cheek, to feel the warmth of your skin, even if for just a second, against his lips…

God, he didn’t want you to leave. What would he do if you left? When would you see each other? Never… If he spent so much time touring and you weren’t home…

God, he would move to Geneva with you if you asked. Even if it were to keep him as a mere friend, that was how badly he needed you in his life…

“Andy… I’m not sure I should keep driving…”

Andrew shook himself out of his thoughts, forced his attention back to the road ahead. You could barely see the road at all, as it was slowly turning white, just like the patches of grass between the road and the low walls…

Andrew shook his head.

“We can’t just stop in the middle of the road either. Just… drive slowly. Let’s try to find somewhere to park.”

You nodded, frowning in your focus.

You kept on driving for a while longer. The night was stark black when you finally found a small space by the road where you could safely park. There was still no house in sight, though… not that you could have seen anything beyond a five meters radius anyway…

You turned off the engine, let the lights go dark. Andrew turned on the light of his phone again.

“You should save some battery,” you argued.

“Got plenty, don’t worry.”

“So… now, what?”

“Now, we wait.”

“And if it keeps on snowing all night? Should we try to get some sleep?”

He merely nodded, setting his phone between the two of you to shed some light all over the tiny space of your car. Andrew reached behind him to get your coats from the backseat.

“We should put these on while they’re still warm.”

You didn’t complain when Andrew unfolded your warm coat, holding it up so you could easily slip your arms inside; nor did you stop him when he straightened it around your frame, reached for the zipper, and closed it for you.

And perhaps it would have been wiser for you to do so… but then again, you were human.

You were still trying to regulate your heartbeat while Andrew was putting on his own coat.

And for the first half-hour, everything was easy. You turned the engines back on for a few minutes when it got too cold, but in such a weather, you were worried your car wouldn’t start with a low battery. After all, it wasn’t exactly brand new.

“What if we get stuck in here?” you asked, worrying about the snow that didn’t give any sign of stopping.

“We’ll freeze to death, probably. At least the cold will preserve our bodies.”

“Good news for the police officer who’s gonna open the door. The smell won’t be too bad.”

“Exactly.”

“How long do you think before they find us?”

“Oh… at least a few weeks, if it snows enough.”

“Don’t you think anyone would notice a car covered in snow by the side of the road?”

“Not if there’s enough snow on it.”

You were the first to break, unable to be serious any longer. And Andrew’s laugh soon found yours, a deep rumble shaking the air around you.

“We won’t get fully snowed in,” Andrew reassured you as your laughter receded, in favour of the hushed quiet of winter. “Don’t worry. Besides, we’re not going to stay here all night. We’ll just wait until the worst of the storm passes. I can drive the rest of the way, if you want.”

“I can keep driving. I think I’ll try to take a nap while we wait though. I need to focus.”

Andrew merely nodded as an answer, adding a soft humming for good measure, before he would offer you a warm smile. He reached for something in his pocket, and put on a beanie and some gloves.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” he added, shifting to get more comfortable, the seatbelt since long discarded.

You tried to do the same, sliding the seat back to get more room to move around. Your eyes settled on Andrew’s features one more time before they closed.

But there was no way you could fall asleep. Beside your troubled mind, you were getting uncomfortably cold again. Enough for your teeth to chatter for a moment, until you tightly set your jaw.

You felt warm skin brush the back of your freezing fingers, heard the low, unapproving humming that Andrew let out at the touch.

“Take these, Y/N.”

You blinked your eyes open, while Andrew was already pushing a glove into your palm.

“You’ll be cold,” you argued, but you were met with a fond glare.

“You are cold.”

You gave up, took the gloves he offered. So large around your hands, the wool soft and still holding the warmth born from his own skin. You tried to stop him from planting his beanie on your head too, but failed.

“You need to stay warm! You’re a singer! You can’t catch a cold!” you tried to argue, but Andrew was already pulling the wool down to cover your ears.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m just fine. Besides, you’re the one who’s always cold.”

“Am not!”

“Are too! Who wears a woollen scarf in June?”

“It was cold!”

“You could turn into an ice cube if left unattended.”

With a great sense of maturity, you stuck out the tip of your tongue, making him chuckle.

It was better, but you were still cold, and so was Andrew now. He was shaking slightly, rubbing his hands together, burying his mouth and nose in his woollen grey scarf to warm it with his breath. But when he tried to shed some light outside again, the snow was still too heavy to drive safely.

“I can’t feel my fucking toes,” he complained, but there wasn’t much that you could do.

Except that you could. It was stupid, probably ineffective, but you were too cold to think straight.

“What if we hugged?”

Andrew let out a laugh.

“I like the sentiment, but that would hardly warm my toes.”

“Isn’t sharing body warmth a surviving technique?”

“Do I look like I would survive in the wild?”

“No, you would either bump your head in a branch so hard you’d knock yourself out to fall right into an endless pit… or you would be spotted by lions from miles away, you and your long limbs…”

“Exactly.”

There was silence again, for a couple of minutes, and you didn’t dare to break it. Instead, you let your eyelids fall again. He had refused to hold you, it was speaking volumes. What if you had made him uncomfortable? What were you expecting anyway? You were just a friend…

A gentle tug on your sleeve made you look up at him.

“Come here.”

“What?”

“We’re both cold, come here. You’re right, body heat sounds like a good idea.”

You joked in an attempt to hide the way your heart jumped in your chest.

“We both know you simply like to be held. Even by me.”

“Anything if I can avoid losing my toes.”

You wished you could claim that the manoeuvre that led you to lie with Andrew was a graceful one, but it truly wasn’t. After bumping into every surface possible and hitting your head against the ceiling twice, you were, however, finally secured in Andrew’s arms.

You moved around a little, trying to get comfortable, but in the tiny space of the passenger seat, there was nowhere for you to lay but on top of him.

If your nerves were getting the better of you at first, you couldn’t help but unwind as Andrew wrapped his arms around your frame, engulfing you within his embrace, pressing you closer to him, even though it didn’t seem possible.

He closed his eyes as he breathed in the sweet scent of your shampoo, but you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice either the way his heart sped up under his ribs, the way his breath caught in his throat. You never seemed to notice. Andrew reckoned that he was pretty obvious, although he did try to hide it all, but you never noticed anything. He couldn’t hide it, though. Even if this would lead nowhere, even if he didn’t stand a chance, he couldn’t help it. Loving you. In all the years he had known you, he had never been able to help it. Perhaps that was what love was all about. Loving beyond reason. Loving even when he wished he didn’t. Loving, and hurting, and having no regrets about it. Hurting, and being willing to go through all this pain all over again, for just a moment more…

He heaved a sigh without noticing, his eyelids lifting to be faced by a wall of darkness spotted with white snowflakes. He was ridiculous. You were leaving, that was the final proof he needed to be certain that he was nothing but a friend to you. If you felt anything for him, you wouldn’t be leaving… right? He had not left. He could have moved to the US a thousand times over, but you were in Ireland. Of course, you weren’t the only reason for him to stay, but you were easily the most important one, the one that carried the most weight.

What was the point of going home after a tour or a long recording session, if home wasn’t where you were?

Pathetic. That was what he was, pathetic…

Besides, you deserved better than what he could offer. Waiting for him for months on end? A constant back-and-forth between nations, a life stuck in a suitcase? No… no, you deserved better than that. Better than what he could offer you. Better than him…

And you were leaving. Final proof…

He held you tighter, and almost released it all in a breath.

Don’t go. Please, don’t go…

“Andy?”

He merely hummed in response.

“I’m pretty sure this is doing nothing to keep us warm.”

“I think it helps.”

“We’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Are you offering a game of strip-poker or something?”

You didn’t look up at him, face still buried in his shoulder, and yet he knew you were rolling your eyes.

“I must be crushing you.”

“You’re breaking all my bones, indeed.”

You tried to move away, but his hold tightened, and he looked down at you with confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“Saving your life? Avoiding you to be crushed to death?”

“I was joking. I’m alright.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… yeah, that’s… nice.”

You weren’t sure what to make of such comment, so you remained quiet instead, breathing deeply his scent, feeling it numb your senses.

“I’ve never seen such a snowstorm,” he pointed out, gaze lost into the darkness ahead.

“Me neither.”

“Not in this part of the world, at least.”

“Typical of Ireland to send me the storm of the century as a farewell gift.”

You felt Andrew tensing under you, his voice was colder than usual as he spoke, but you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“When will you leave? For good, I mean.”

“I have a month after this short stay to find myself a place to rent and get to work.”

“But you’ll come back to visit, right?”

“Yeah, of course! I mean… when I’m on vacation. To see my family.”

“Will I get some free housing in Geneva, then?”

“You thief, as usual.”

“You know me. Always the rascal.”

You closed your eyes as he started to rub your back, the gesture gentle and amazingly soothing.

“Aren’t you afraid to go there on your own?”

“Yeah… yeah, a little bit,” you admitted in a breath. “But… at least Tom will be there.”

“Tom?”

“Yeah, you know? My colleague? He’s very nice, I like him a lot. We’re leaving together.”

His tall frame tensed again, you caught the way his breath staggered.

“What do you mean Tom is leaving too?”

You stared into his hazel eyes; these eyes you dreamt of at night, the ones you adored. They had taken the hue of leaves before Autumn, deep green in a ray of sunshine. They always did when tears came to his eyes. And indeed, you were surprised as you fell into his gaze to find it blurred with tears.

“You… you’re leaving with him?” he asked, voice deeper than usual, shaky, vulnerable.

You were aware, now more than ever, of how close you were. You stared up at him, lost in his eyes, and you thought of how it would be so easy to lean up and kiss him, make his frown melt away, shush his worry with your lips…

“I thought… why…?”

You shrugged, unsure of what he meant to say.

“We’ve been approached by the same company. We’ll both move to Geneva.”

“Together?!”

“I mean… at the same time, yes.”

“But you’re…”

So that was it then… you had found someone else again. And this time you were leaving in another country with this man and…

And Andrew had lost you for good.

He was only too aware of how close the two of you were, of how easy it would have been to simply lean down to kiss you. Press his lips to yours, forget you were choosing someone else…

But he couldn’t forget. He couldn’t take it.

Instead of leaning closer, he pushed you away.

“Get off.”

You frowned at the roughness in his voice, the coldness in his tone, and Andrew wished he could control himself, be gentle, the way you deserved, but he needed to get away if he wanted to keep breathing…

“Please, get off me.”

You blinked tears away, and he hated himself for being the cause of such a sight, but he didn’t stop you when you ungracefully pushed yourself back into the driver’s seat. And Andrew watched as you stared at him, expectant, like you didn’t understand that you were breaking his heart in a million pieces…

And he couldn’t take it.

You were so surprised when Andrew opened the door and climbed out of the car that you didn’t stop him. He was already out of sight when you shook yourself enough to grab his phone, the only source of light available, and jumped out of the car as well.

The wind was bitterly cold as it assailed your cheeks, the snow rough and sharp digging into your skin.

“ANDREW!”

You hurried around the car, struggling with the slippery ground.

Above the wind, there was nothing to be heard but your own voice. Betrayed by the night, even this sound seemed to fade too fast to reach anything out of your sight. And Andrew was nowhere to be seen, the darkness too thick for that, the elements howling too loudly.

“ANDREW!”

A thud. A groan. A hiss. You followed the sounds in a hurry, and sure enough, mere seconds were needed to find your friend half-lying in the snow, a hand gripping at the low stone wall.

“ANDY!”

You kneeled by his side, uncaring of the sharp sting of the frozen ground under your knees.

“Are you alright?”

But he nodded, without a word. He seemed in pain, you brushed a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, and he leaned into your touch without noticing.

“You’re okay? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“You’re leaving for him, right?”

“What on earth are you talking about?!”

“TOM! FUCKING TOM!”

He moved away from your touch, but winced as he leaned against the wall. Your eyes grew round in worry, and when you turned the light towards the stones, there were traces of blood there.

“Oh God… Andy, you’re hurt!”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head.

“Let me see…”

But he stood up instead, and you followed close. He was towering you, the way he always did. The difference in height had not been so obvious in the car, but now, he was standing before you in his full, impressive height, and the way he glared made it more intimidating than usual.

“You’re really leaving for a fucking guy you met at work?!”

You frowned, shaking your head.

“Andy, I’m not…”

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!”

“Andy…”

“For how long have you two even been together?”

“We’re not! We’re not together.”

It was his time to frown in confusion.

“What?”

“Tom and I, we’re not together. We’ve been approached by the same company, that’s all. Although, if I’m being honest… I might give him a chance.”

“What?”

You noticed how he was out of breath, of course you did. He didn’t seem angry anymore, just…sad. Unbearably sad…

“Well, he’s nice… and… I know he likes me. But… can we go back to the car now?”

“Don’t go with him.”

You stared up at him, his hair messed by the wind as more strands were breaking free from his bun. Snowflakes stained the dark locks with white. Some got caught in his long eyelashes. The biting cold was turning his sharp cheekbones red. In the dim light, you couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, even though you could see the lips moving with the vowels, closing with consonants…

“Don’t go. Y/N… don’t go.”

These were words you were longing to hear, and yet, now that he was finally speaking them out loud, you couldn’t take them in.

He had acted like he didn’t care for weeks, and now, all of a sudden, he claimed that he was hurting?

“That’s rich coming from someone who spends barely any time home.”

You knew you were being mean, and you felt guilty as a shock of pain ran through Andrew’s features, enough so to bring tears back in his eyes. Still, you didn’t take your words back.

“That’s not the same. This… this is still my home.”

“This is a great opportunity for my career. This would be a new start. I’m excited about it. And Tom is nice. He likes me. He wants me…”

“You’re saying that like you don’t have a family and friends and people who love you already.”

“You know what I mean. This is a great opportunity, Andy. I want to take it.”

You noticed the way he clenched his jaw, the way the muscle jumped there as he lowered his gaze to the ground, nodding slowly.

“You’re right… that’s a great opportunity. You should take it…”

But instead of you agreeing, he was surprised as you huffed in annoyance, and turned your back to him.

“Get your arse back in the car, come on.”

“Y/N…”

“I don’t understand what you want, Andy!” you hissed as you turned back to him, and he hated the sharpness in your voice, it felt like a knife. “You act like you don’t give two fucks about me leaving for weeks! And now… now you’re acting like you want me to stay…!”

“Of course, I want you to stay! But I’m your friend, I’m supposed to be here for you, and to support you and encourage you…”

“So you’re glad that I’m leaving?” your voice rising into a shout, and his tone matched yours when he answered, making you tremble under his deep, powerful voice.

“Of course not! Are you listening to yourself?! Why would I want you to move to fucking Geneva!”

“Because you didn’t say a thing about it!” you were crying, but you didn’t even notice, too busy letting your feelings out, at long last. “Because everyone else tried to convince me to stay, and you didn’t!”

“I tried to be supportive!”

“Well, I didn’t want you to supportive!”

“What did you want then?!”

“The truth!”

“Well, I don’t want you to leave! Here’s your fucking truth! And I don’t want you to leave with fucking Tom! I want you to choose me!”

He was out of breath now, and as he moved closer to you and the light you still held tightly in your hand, you finally noticed that he was crying as well.

“Choose you?” you asked, confused and slightly calmer, even if your voice kept on shaking. “Why would you want me to choose you…?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

The words were out before he could hold them in; failing this time at this game he had played a thousand times before, every time the words almost slipped out, when he bit his tongue until it hurt so you wouldn’t hear his heart. Your eyes grew round like you were surprised, shocked even, like this was not the most obvious truth in the world, like he had not spent years loving you in secret, leaving traces of his bleeding heart all over the place…

He almost wanted to laugh at you, at your round eyes and parted lips and all that snow caught in your hair and the way he longed to kiss that shock off your face. He didn’t though. Because you took a step back, and he read fear in your eyes, and he realised then that you were slipping away, sand between his fingers although he tried to hold tight.

“Y/N…” he breathed, voice taken away by the wind before it could reach you.

You hurried to the car instead of answering, and he followed you this time, shivering in the cold. And once you were back in the safety of your vehicle, the seats had lost their warmth, and the tiny space between the two of you seemed unbearably vast, a chasm you would never be able to close or cross.

You were both staring out by the windshield, while the snow finally receded. You could start driving again…

“Can you say something?”

“We should try to drive again.”

“Y/N… please…”

But as you turned to him, it was to stare at his palm, not his gaze.

“You’re bleeding.”

Andrew followed your gaze, looked down at his own hand. There was a long cut across the palm, red with blood, darkened with dirt on some spots. In the dim light, it was hard to tell how deep the cut was. It hurt, that was for sure. And yet, he didn’t care. You were more painful than an open wound.

“It’s nothing…”

“Let me see.”

You took off the gloves he had lent you, and Andrew didn’t have the strength to stop you as you gently reached for his hand, cradled it in yours, held it to the light to get a better view. Your skin was warm and soft against his cold one, and the thought that you could hate him, that you could resent him for sharing feelings he knew as unrequited made the tenderness of your hold almost unbearable.

“How did you hurt yourself?”

“I slipped in the snow. Caught myself to the wall. Sharp stone.”

You heaved a sigh, the sound was almost annoyed, but not quite. More like… worried.

“Hold the light, would you?”

He didn’t think as he obeyed, yielding to your will, the way he always did. You grabbed a bottle of water and some tissues from the glove box, and started to slowly clean up his cut. You were leaning closer to do so, and Andrew couldn’t help himself as he leaned forward as well, longing for your nearness, basking in the touch of your hand as it came back to cradle his, drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

The breath he let out before speaking again was shaking.

“Do you hate me?”

You looked up, seemed to realize how close the two of you were. You could easily lean up and kiss him, and he could easily lean down and press his lips to yours. Instead, you both remained motionless, perfectly still, merely staring while he waited for an answer you thought was too obvious to be spoken.

“Why would I?” you asked back.

“Because… because we’re friends. And I caught feelings. And… maybe you hate me now that you know that I don’t… I don’t see a friend in you at all. Now that you know that I lied.”

But you didn’t answer, instead, you lowered your gaze again, and Andrew jumped and let out a hiss as you pressed the wet tissues against his broken skin.

“I’m not angry,” you finally reassured him. “I’m just… I don’t really believe you, I think.”

“What? Why wouldn’t you?”

You shrugged, and despite your claim of being calm, the smile that formed on your lips was bitter when you spoke.

“For how long have we been friends? And you’ve never said anything? Never felt anything, until I decided to go away? And now, all of sudden, you’re catching feelings?”

“I’ve never said these feelings were new.”

“You friendzoned me, back in the days. Do you remember that?”

Andrew winced, but nodded anyway.

“This… this was different.”

“Because I was just a friend?”

“Because I was the one leaving. Because it wasn’t fair to ask you out just to disappear for months while I was touring.”

Finally, you looked up again, trying to read something in his eyes, and whatever it was, Andrew hoped that you would find it there. He hoped you could see that he was being earnest, that he meant it, that there was no doubt to have. He had never doubted his love for you, even if he had refrained it. It had been a truth he had relied on for years. With a bit of luck, you might want to rely on it too…

“But then you came back… why didn’t you say anything then?”

“You weren’t single anymore. It was my turn to get friendzoned.”

The ghost of a smile formed on his lips, a soothing offering. But it was sad all the same.

“And after that?”

“After that… you were already my best friend. You… I didn’t want to lose you. And you… you deserved better than that. You deserve better than what I can give you. Waiting around while I disappear for months, what kind of life is that?”

You stopped breathing as he lifted his unharmed hand up to your face, brushing his fingertips across your cheek, the way he had longed to for years.

If his heart was staggering behind his ribs, if his breath was caught in his throat because of this gentle touch of your skin, when he closed his eyes to gather his strength, there was a tear breaking free.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know you don’t feel the same,” he shook his head as he opened his eyes again, falling into your gaze, and he saw there the same tears he tried to withhold in his own eyes. “I know it’s a one-sided thing. I didn’t… I didn’t want to break everything. I’m sorry.”

He was surprised when you shook your head and leaned into his touch, forcing his hand to open so he could cradle your face in his palm, long fingers disappearing into your hair and tenderly brushing your skin.

“God, you’re such an idiot.”

He raised a surprised eyebrow, not daring to move or reply. You started laughing, and he was at a loss.

“We’re both so damn stupid!”

He had to blink to make sure that he wasn’t imagining your movement as you slowly closed the gap between the two of you, as you leaned up to meet him. He was too surprised by it to meet you halfway; he was too taken aback by the feeling of your lips against his to kiss you back. It took him a couple of seconds to process that this was truly happening, that he was not, in fact, lost in one of the many dreams he’d had of this moment. But then your hand was in the mess of his curls, and you were pressing your lips more firmly against his, and he allowed himself to believe that you wanted this as well, that perhaps he had been, indeed, such an idiot for failing to see what was right in front of him, the same way you had missed all of his gestures along the years.

And you wished you could admit to yourself that you were keeping control over the situation, having instigated the kiss, but you melted into his touch the second Andrew responded and kissed you back. His hold on your face tightened slightly, a tinge of desperation held in the gesture. You tightened your hold on his wounded hand, and he responded by twisting his wrist until he could hold onto your hand too. You chased after him as he pulled away, but he left only for a second, just long enough to tilt his head slightly to the side, bettering the angle of his next kiss so he could deepen it. And the second you could properly taste him on your tongue, you lost track of everything but him: the warmth of his scent, the softness of his touch, the smoothness of his skin, his curls running through your fingers, the gentle scratching of his beard, and the overwhelming feeling of being kissed by him. The feelings he poured into the intimate gesture… no one had ever kissed you like that before…

When you broke apart, at long last, both of you breathless, blinking the dizziness of the kiss away in an attempt to find back an earthly footing, Andrew pressed his forehead to yours, afraid, perhaps, that if he got too far, he would wake.

“I don’t see you as a mere friend either, in case that was still unclear,” you clarified, tone half-joking, making him smile.

“Right…”

“You’re okay?”

“Just… trying to assess whether I’m awake or dreaming right now.”

Playfully, you pinched his shoulder, making both of you laugh.

“Awake,” you confirmed. “Even your wild imagination could not have pictured the storm of the century as a background for our first kiss.”

“First? Can I have another, then?”

You couldn’t refrain a giggle, gently shaking your head at him, brushing your nose against his in the process.

“A true thief, as always.”

“Of the worst kind only.”

His thumb caressed your cheekbone, soft touch across your soft skin, making your eyes flutter shut as your heart lost its rhythm.

“If you want to take this job in Geneva, we can still make it work.”

You lifted your eyelids again and pulled back, just to fall right into his hazel eyes.

“Just… don’t choose Tom…”

You shook your head, giving him a reassuring smile. Your hands moved to hold his face in both of your palms, to make sure he would keep staring at you as you answered.

“Fuck Tom. Fuck Geneva. I’d rather go on a date with you.”

Andrew let out a chuckle, eyes crinkling as he smiled. Still, he had tears in his eyes all over again.

“You said it yourself, though. It’s a great opportunity for you.”

“I want to stay. If we give this a try, I want to stay.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m sure.”

“I’ll be away for months…”

“And you’ll be the one paying for the plane tickets, I’m not emptying my bank account when I’ve got a millionaire as a boyfriend.”

You both laughed, and Andrew nodded, at last.

“Fair enough.”

You were about to speak but didn’t have the time, Andrew was leaning to kiss you again instead, and you couldn’t complain, didn’t want to stop his fall towards your mouth.

He hissed and pulled away too fast though, after mere seconds, looking down at his wounded palm that he had tried to press against your back.

“I should clean this up, and then we can keep on driving,” you proposed, and Andrew agreed with a nod, obediently holding his hand still while you took care of him. He did lean to kiss your forehead a couple of times though, and you were both still quite amazed that he could do it, or that he wanted to.

You would have to get used to it though. After the storm had passed, after you had found your way back onto the right road, after you had reached your destination, there was plenty of time to talk, to confess feelings you had both refrained for too long, for holding onto each other too tightly, for kissing until lips were bruised and numb and yet still willing.

Perhaps, this trip was not such a disaster, after all…

[strawberrystepmom]

pairing: werewolf!kakashi hatake x f!reader

word count: 5.2k

about: your boyfriend leaves you alone for one week every month and you can never seem to put your finger on why. convinced he’s cheating, you book a romantic getaway to pin him down and figure him out. while preparing to leave, you instead discover the hairy secret he has been keeping from you all this time.

contents: nsfw - mdni. cw knotting, cw mating, cw breeding kink. miscommunication with resolution, established relationship, piv sex, vaginal fingering, reader has breasts and is referred to as pretty and mate multiple times, reader has pubic hair, few mentions of birth control (reader is on it but method is not specified), sloppy and messy sex (saliva is mentioned but there is no specific instance of spitting)

notes: part of thot-o-ween 2023! ngl i had the most fun writing this one out of the whole group this far and i hope that it shows and you enjoy reading it! thanks for the support the last four weeks and i'm so glad we are getting into the thick of the good stuff now. ♡

“Don’t be ridiculous, he absolutely adores you.”

Despite the consistent reassurance of your best friend, you aren’t certain that your boyfriend Kakashi does adore you. 

It’s not that he isn’t wonderful because he is. Supportive, serious without being a bore, and surprisingly humble - these are all things it takes no effort for you to feel and say about him. Despite this, you can’t shake the nagging distrust you’ve felt since he told you he’s going on his once a month week long business trip. Unfortunately, this time it coincides with a romantic getaway you tried to book for the two of you as a surprise. Despite days of trying to convince yourself that it’s nothing and you have nothing to worry about with his cyclical departures, you have a really bad feeling. 

“I can’t explain it but my intuition is going crazy. It feels like he’s lying to me.”

Your mind has played through all of the reasonable possibilities for his departure and is now filtering through the unreasonable ones. The “he has a family he’s hiding from me” paranoia pings between your ears like a racing pinball and your friend can tell, her face set in a displeased frown. She has been placating you for the past five months, politely shoving you in the direction of speaking your mind to the man, but she knows you’re uncomfortable with the idea.

She reaches across the small table the two of you sit at, dotted with discarded napkins and cups full of rapidly melting ice, and grabs your hands between hers. You appreciate the gesture and squeeze her fingers with your thumbs, smiling softly. 

“You already know my advice because I’ve given it freely. What you do next is completely up to you.”

Nodding, you know she��s right. She has told you to confront him, to snoop, to follow him and these all sound like wonderful ways to handle the issue in theory. In practice, though? That’s a different story. 

Dropping her hands and picking your phone up from the table, you sigh and open the little green bubble that is the messages app. Kakashi’s thread is at the top of your list and you open it, smiling looking at his sweet wishes of a good evening with your friend. 

Hope you’re having fun. See you soon. 😊

“I booked that cabin before he told me he was leaving, do you think I should still tell him about it?”

Your friend nods firmly, sticking to her earlier advice.

“Yes, you should have told him as soon as you planned the getaway but maybe he can arrange something with work if he knows. It’s still a week out.”

Sighing, you nod in agreement and tap out a message in response to your boyfriend, worrying your lower lip between your teeth.

I know this is kind of off the cuff and you already told me you’re going to be gone but I booked a cabin for all of next week for the two of us. If you can’t make it, I understand. Romantic surprises are so hard sometimes!

The message whooshes and shows as sent, the blue text bubble sitting as heavy as the anxiety in your stomach. It’s long winded and something you probably should have said in person rather than via text but considering how nauseous you already feel anticipating his answer, you think this may have been for the best. You lock your phone and place it back down, not wanting to stare at the screen any longer, and the waitress comes to drop off your check. 

Just as you reach for the little black tray with your receipt, your phone pings and your eyebrows raise. You smile at the waitress as you slide your card onto the tray and send her off, picking up your phone as soon as it’s not rude to do so.

You are so thoughtful. Don’t worry about not saying something sooner, I will see what I can figure out. Thank you for doing something so sweet.

Maybe your mind really has been playing tricks on you. It’s hard to hide your grin as you pass the phone across the table and your friend smiles as she reads as well, holding her hands out and tilting her head.

“See? Good communication is key.”

You know she’s right.

Across town, though, Kakashi paces the floor of his bedroom wondering how the fuck he is going to make this work.

How he ended up landing someone like you is still beyond his rational understanding. You are too good to be true and booking a surprise romantic getaway, in any other situation, would be a gift. A luxury, even. Time spent with you, secluded, watching the autumn leaves fall? He couldn’t dream of anything more but next week simply does not work for him.

Pressing the screen of his phone wildly, he swipes through apps until he finds his moon phase tracker, popping open the calendar to see when exactly the full moon falls. He’ll get more details from you later but if you booked it from Monday to Sunday, he may be able to pull off leaving early but staying for most of the time. The full moon falls on Friday and realistically if he spent the week with you up until Thursday, he may be able to pull it off.

Sighing, he slumps down on the edge of his bed and scrubs his hand over his face. The luck he has had over the last few months hiding his secret from you has been nothing short of fortuitous and he’s glad for your trust in him even though it eats him up to lie about his whereabouts for a week every single month. 

Putting you at risk is the last thing the man would ever want to do so he’s already taking a huge chance trying to make this week work knowing that his hormones are stronger in certain months rather than others. He has felt overcome by his instincts this entire month, it’s the reason he has buried himself in busy work rather than spending his free time with you, but he knows that if he hangs you out to dry this week it could result in him losing you.

That’s simply not an option he’s willing to entertain so he will figure it out despite how it makes his gut twist and his mind race. 

Swiping off of the moon cycle app, he opens his messages and the cursor blinks at him tauntingly while he considers what to say. 

I can come along Monday through Thursday if that’s alright with you?

Tapping the little blue arrow that sends the message off to you, he feels a weight on his shoulders that he can’t quite name. It’s sadness because he knows eventually he’ll have to tell you the truth about himself or let you go but selfishly, he wants to put it off for as long as he possibly can. 

Something about you makes him believe that those old stories his dad told him growing up about their kind having fated mates may have been true. His mother was his father’s mate, she knew of his secret and kept it until the day she died, and despite this harsh world, Kakashi has always kept the smallest kindling of hope that it could be true.

Then he met you and his body all but told him it was, the ruts coming more consistently and stronger, lasting for longer than they ever have. What started as one day a month he had to hide away to keep from exposing himself became two days, and then three, and then an entire week having to seclude himself from you to keep from giving into his more base urges.

Another sigh leaves the man and he taps his feet against the floor beneath them impatiently, clutching his phone in his palm. Three pings in succession make him lift it to his face, squinting slightly thanks to the brightness of the screen, but he smiles reading your words.

Omg yay!!! 

I’m glad to get you for even that long

Thank you for making it work for me

It’ll be a risk but he’s willing to take it to see your pretty smile and to spend time cozied up reading and watching your silly shows and enjoying each other. 

It’ll all be worth it as long as he can keep control.

The days leading up to the trip pass uneventfully for you but Kakashi feels differently with each hour that passes, especially today.

He’s hot. Cloyingly and overwhelmingly, to the point he has to lay on his couch in nothing but boxers and an old tank top dug out of the back of his dresser drawer to try and cool down. Sweat glistens across his skin and his very bones ache, all of the blood in his body running to his cock and making it impossible for him to think.

When you arrive at his apartment to spend the night in order to make leaving in the morning simpler, you’re shocked to see him lying on the couch with one hand down his boxers halfheartedly playing with his hard cock with one arm thrown over his eyes. His cheeks are pink and he’s panting, only glancing up briefly when the door opens and shuts. He scrambles to sit up but you can tell he’s struggling, his abs tensing with every breath he takes.

“Oh babe, are you alright?”

Dropping your bags at the front door, you rush to his side and kneel on the ground next to where he is strewn across the sofa. You press the back of your hand to his clammy cheek and coo, your other hand tangling in his unruly hair and combing it away from his forehead. He doesn’t uncover his eyes but his breathing is so heavy you worry something is seriously wrong with him.

“Kakashi, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you need to go to urgent care?”

He shakes his head and groans, chest still heaving and you notice the tip of his cock peeking above the waistband of his boxers. It looks the same as you remember it in every way except for the color - so red, as if it’s blushing to be spotted and leaking a pool of sticky pre-cum onto the barely exposed skin his tank top isn’t covering. You know the two of you have been too busy the last several days to spend much quality time together and sex hasn’t been possible but you’ve never seen someone so horny they’re actually ill because all current signs point to that being the exact issue.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Embarrassment keeps him from opening up. Kakashi is ashamed of who he is, a beast more than a man, and he’s even more ashamed that he has no way of keeping the secret from you any longer. This rut is too strong and he needs you to leave lest his instincts take over his logic. Pulling his arm from over his eyes, he tries to sit up and you assist him to the best of your ability, his cock throbbing through the thin fabric of his boxers and catching your eye despite your attempts to focus on his handsome face. His stormcloud colored eyes have never looked more tumultuous than they do right now and you reach out to cup his face, only for him to gently grasp your wrist and pull you away.

“Don’t touch me.”

The look on your face, brows pinched and mouth agape, reminds him that he’s a monster and not a man and he should have never brought you into his life. The only thing he can do is hurt you. His grip on your wrist is gentle and he loosens it further but you capture his hand in your own, eyes brimming with tears of frustration. 

“Please tell me what’s happening,” your voice cracks as you speak and you feel warm tears spill down your face, irritated by your own ability to hold it together, but your worst fears are coming true in front of you. Something is off about your boyfriend, you were right, and now he’s denying your touch when he clearly needs it. “I just want to know the truth.”

The truth would be a heavy burden for both of you and the last thing he wants to do is force you to carry it with him despite the pleading look in your eyes and your quivering bottom lip.

“What are you hiding from me?” 

Your voice cracks again and his heart breaks all over, gray eyes trained on your face despite his disgust with himself. Despite the tears and the way they blur your vision, you scan his face and drink in every feature because despite how you feel right now, you love this man. You were hoping to tell him so this week, tucked away in the idyllic countryside, and now you feel the dream slipping away from you.

“Are you married? Do you have another life?”

Desperation for the truth makes your hands shake and he shakes his head, blowing a breath out of his lips. He continues to feel so hot it’s painful, like he’s burning alive, and he is resisting inhaling and choosing to breathe through his mouth instead to keep from catching your scent that is gradually replacing all of the fresh air in the apartment. 

Allowing you to hold his hand, he sits forward and looks you in the eyes. If his gut feeling is real, if what he believes about you is true, then he needs to be honest. If you are his mate then you’ll understand. His voice shakes when he speaks and you scoot forward on your knees, closing the distance between your bodies as much as possible, still kneeling on the floor next to him. 

“I think I should be offended that you’d even think that about me.”

Despite yourself, you laugh and he hides a smile of his own, eyes darting away from you. He pulls you up to your feet and scoots over on the couch, hissing as you occupy his space even further. You are affecting him more strongly than you ever have and his self control thins with every moment that passes. 

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know what else to think. The weeks away, the secrecy, all of it…my mind has filled in the blanks I don’t understand.”

Kakashi nods. He understands, he truly does, knowing that his behavior has been less than exemplary while he has tried to keep his secret from you, but he wants to right his wrong while his mind is still clear. His cock throbs angrily, still pressing against the bottom of his stomach even while he sits, and he knows it’s now or never.

“This is going to sound ridiculous but I’m not what you think I am.”

Tilting your head to the side, you look over your handsome boyfriend and wonder what he could mean. Is he lying about his job or where he’s from? He can tell you aren’t following so he looks away from you and tries again, spitting out the words he himself has tried to run from his entire life.

“I’m only half a man, the other half of me is something else entirely.”

Again, you look lost and he grasps your hands in his own hot ones and chuckles, letting his eyes shut.

“Werewolf. I’m a werewolf.”

He opens his eyes at the sound of your surprised laughter and he’s met with the smile he has found himself falling more in love with every single day, your nose scrunching the way he finds utterly adorable.

“Kakashi…” you start but he squeezes your hands and shoots you a look so earnest you feel guilty for ever questioning him. His cheeks have turned from pink to flaming red, the same color as the engorged tip that is still peeking out over the top of his boxers. Your jaw drops and he groans, eyes falling to your lips. 

“What is happening right now is called a rut and unbonded men like me go through them occasionally.” You nod, understandingly. You are always unfailingly kind and patient to him, more so than he deserves for lying to you all these months. He takes your silence as permission to keep speaking and you remove your hand from his to push his sweat slicked hair off of his forehead, noticing the way his nostrils flare with your touch. “Mine have been happening more frequently than that, though, because of you.”

He expects to have lost you again and to see confusion on your face when his eyes flit up to look at you but instead he sees a sweet, almost nervous, half smile. You don’t know what he means or how you could possibly be affecting his rut but the insinuation that you have this strong of an impact on him is flattering to say the least.

Arousing too, you think while pressing your thighs together. Your focus shifts from the heat in your own core to Kakashi and you lean your head on his shoulder.

“How can I help you through this?”

Your boyfriend is far from shocked that this is your next question for him but he’s grateful, shaking his head and gazing at you nervously from the corner of his eye. You have been surprisingly okay with everything so far, or at least it seems like it, but he worries how you’ll react if he tells you everything. 

“Well, ruts are usually resolved by…well, for lack of a better word, mating.” Nodding, you keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder. “It’s not just, you know, having sex like we usually do. It’s more than that.”

You shift where you sit and he watches you intently, gasping when you move to straddle him and sit on top of his thighs. His bulge presses against your core and you hum, still combing your fingers through his hair. Those instincts he was dreading continue to work at him, his mind all but overwhelmed with the sight and scent of you, and his mouth fills with saliva.

“I can handle a few days of fucking if that’s what will make you feel better,” you smile and press a kiss to his forehead, his hands finding their way to your hips and holding them tightly. His grip is harsher than he has ever touched you but it doesn’t hurt, it’s simply anchoring you in place. “But if that’s not all, I will do anything you need.”

He chuckles lowly, the sound sexy and ringing in your ears, and you instinctively grind down on his lap to relieve the tension of your own arousal. It doesn’t take much to turn you on, not when it comes to him, but the mystery of what you have to look forward to makes your head swim. 

“I, uh…well, I’d need to knot you.”

Your eyebrows raise and your eyes glisten with mischief watching him search for the right thing to say. 

“What does that entail?”

Again he sighs, cock throbbing painfully, and you press your lips to his forehead again. He holds you in place to keep your hips from grinding or bumping against him. His mind is growing fuzzier with each passing second and he doesn’t need the encouragement of your luscious hips to turn him into something he can’t explain away with a conversation. He’s teetering on the edge of it anyway.

“You’re familiar with my dick, of course, but when I’m rutting it’s different. It’s…” He trails off again and you reach down between your bodies, snapping the elastic waistband of his boxers. You smirk, the little temptress that you are, and he groans in defeat.

“Show me.”

Despite his brain telling him not to, he nods, happy to bend to your whims as long as you’re okay with what you see. He shifts where he sits, keeping you anchored to his lap with one hand and he uses the other to pull his boxers down around his thighs. You gasp when you notice the thickened base, larger than you’ve ever seen it and swollen. 

“This is your knot?”

He nods, eyes fixed on your face as you inspect the newest part of his anatomy, to you anyway, and he’s relieved to see nothing but curiosity on your face. Your hand drifts back between your bodies and you squeeze the base of him, his knot almost too large for your hand to wrap around, and his hips buck into the touch. He pants, chest heaving with each breath, but you keep your grip intact.

“So let me make sure I have this right,” you start and he nods to indicate that he’s listening despite the overwhelming pleasure he’s feeling at your touch, lower lip tucked between his teeth. “You need to knot your mate to get through this and feel better?”

He nods again, happy that he doesn’t have to explain the gory details and that you were able to fill in the blanks on your own.

“Do you know who your mate is? Is it someone I need to go find for you?”

Shaking his head, his brows furrow.

“You are my mate. That’s the only explanation why my body is reacting like this to everything about you.”

His voice sounds strained, struggling to hold onto his humanity with each passing second. You mercifully let go of his knot, the relief on his face disappearing when you do, and you lean forward, just inches from his lips.

“Then fuck your mate and feel better, baby.”

Sealing your offer by pressing your lips against his, you’re shocked to find that they’re as hot as his hands, his body, his cheeks, but they feel like home to you and the sloppy sound of your tongues running against one another in open mouthed kisses fill your ears. His grip on your hip tightens and he does his best to remain gentle as he slides you off of his lap and places you on your back on the sofa below you. He pauses for a moment to glance over your face, to be absolutely certain that you still want this, and you smile at him.

Reaching for the button of your jeans, he helps you slide them off and tosses them across the room, your panties coming off with them and the rest of your clothes in short order. He wants to shred them, to see the pieces fall and flutter away from your beautiful body, but he holds himself back.

This is just the beginning of his rut, after all, and the two of you are bound to have a very interesting week ahead of you so he savors this moment, the first that he can be who he really is in front of someone he loves.

It’s freeing and terrifying but his cock is throbbing so painfully he can’t focus on anything else.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you, okay?”

You nod when he slots himself between your spread legs, his boxers and tank top gone. Your cunt pulses at the sight of him, walls clenching almost painfully around nothing as you look at the size of his knot and wonder how you’re meant to fit it inside of you, but he quiets your wandering mind by leaning down and pressing his chest to yours, kissing you sloppily.

“God I love you,” he mutters and you hum in agreement.

His mouth is wetter than it ever has been, a side effect of his current state, and saliva drips down both of your chins and drips into the valley between your breasts. You moan into his mouth and your hips cant and grind against his erection that slips into the cleft between your pussy lips and he feels himself slipping further and further into the basest of his needs, the warm slick seeping from your cunt a nectar he can no longer resist.

Kakashi’s fingers slide down your body, dragging through the pool of saliva between your breasts, down your torso, across your belly button, and finally down to your aching pussy. He makes himself useful quickly, one of his long digits replacing his cock and running through your soaked folds. You whine, hips bucking, and he increases the pressure of his finger as he slides it over your slippery clit.

“My pretty little mate is so eager for me, huh?”

Nodding dumbly, you spread your legs further hoping he’ll take the hint to get moving to where you need him the most. Your eyes dart from his face to where his finger slowly slides inside of you, warmth accommodating the digit with ease thanks to how soaked you are, and sweet relief washes over you. Tipping your head back, you softly moan beneath him while he works you open for him - he’ll need all the help he can get if you’re going to take his knot, and a second finger joins the first while his thumb massages your clit just the way you like.

“Oh baby, you feel so good.”

You nod and hum, hips grinding into every thrust of his fingers in and out of you, the sound of your own sloppy pussy making your breaths stutter. Who would have guessed you’d be so into finding out your boyfriend’s not so little secret? 

His fingers continue to spread you open, shifting and grinding against the spot deep inside he knows drives you wild, and you know you’re about to cum for the first time tonight when his thumb grinds small circles directly into your sensitive clit. Your back arches off of the couch and you clench around his fingers, mumbling his name. His lips find yours, chests still pressed together, and you whimper into his mouth while your legs shake.

Withdrawing his fingers from inside of you, he holds them up and spreads them apart, breaking away from your lips long enough to let you look at the slick that webs between them when he does. You gasp, his fingers glistening with your arousal, and he smirks.

“Think you’re wet enough for me now. Gonna stuff you full of me, is that what you want?”

Nodding, you shiver, catching a glimpse of the hunger in his eyes. He’s the same man you love and have known for all this time but there’s a hunger you can’t wait to sate dancing in his eyes. Your cunt clenches again, finally ready for more after your orgasm, and he reaches between your bodies to position himself at your entrance.

The first inch isn’t anything you aren’t used to but you still gasp as he slides himself inside of you, your nails digging into his shoulder while his blunt head prods at your eager cunt, slipping inside with ease. He sinks deeper and deeper and you gasp breathlessly when he stops just short of the inflamed knot at the base of his cock.

“Can’t go all the way in, not yet,” he explains, grinding his hips and guiding them to make sure the head of his cock brushes against the same spot his fingers were just working. You are breathless, wordless, and completely overwhelmed, deciding to let him have his way with you however he needs. His hands travel the expanse of your waist, settling on either side of it, thumbs brushing the underside of each of your breasts that bounce slightly with each movement he makes.

He isn’t satisfied keeping his hands at your waist, though, and one travels back down your stomach and rests in the hair covering your mound. He loves the feeling of the hair between his fingers and he stretches his hand so that his thumb brushes against your clit, maintaining steady pressure on the bud while he grinds and thrusts in and out of you.

“Baby,” you coo from beneath him and he smirks, leaning forward enough to fold your legs up against your sides. Your thighs are pressed against your torso and your knees rest by your ears, the shift in position making you groan, shocked at how deep he is despite the whole of him not even being inside of you. “Need it all, Kakashi, please.”

How can he deny you when you ask so sweetly and he’s so close to cumming himself?

Shifting his own position so that he is practically mounting you, the front of his thighs pressed to the backs of yours. It feels like you can hardly breathe with how he has you folded but you don’t mind, succumbing to the mind numbing pleasure of the additional inches of him slowly sinking inside of you.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

You nod, licking your lips, and he continues to push what remains of his cock inside of you. His hips grind and shift and you do your best to lift your own to meet him but he stills you with the hand spread over your pelvis, pressing directly on your clit while you stretch to accommodate his knot that slowly slips inside of you.

The stretch is delicious and your lashes flutter against your cheek, eyes rolling back into your skull. He thrusts shallowly, not wanting to release his knot from your warmth, but he gives in quickly and withdraws his knot. You gasp at the loss of the fullness but he’s quick to rectify his wrong, slipping his knot back into you in a quick motion that leaves you breathless. 

“Full,” you spit out with a nod and he chuckles, dipping his head to kiss you again.

“Not as full as I’d like you to be but soon.”

You giggle and kiss him back, his grunts and pants against your lips making you whimper. He’s so sexy and you’re so full of him, your head spinning when his grunts increase in a way you know means that he’s close. His cock spasms inside of you and his thumb doubles down on its ceaseless pace on your clit, his knot swelling as he groans and fills you with his release. His knot remains swollen and keeps his cock in place, the warmth of his spend filling your pussy. 

Reaching for his face, you grab both of his cheeks and kiss him, his thumb still rubbing idle circles on your clit until your hips jerk and the sensation becomes too much. 

“I love you,” you return his earlier sentiment with a smile against his mouth. He smiles and kisses you back, the two of you afraid to part and technically unable with his engorged knot still inside of you.

“We have to stay like this for a little while,” he explains and you nod, eyes glossy and body limp. “Instincts say I have to make it take even if we both know it won’t.”

Smiling, you keep your grip on his face and kiss him again.

“Do you feel better?”

He nods, sighing contentedly.

“For now but we have a long week ahead of us and the full moon is on Friday.”

Dots connect in your head and you giggle, wrapping your legs around his waist while he gradually shifts and rests his head on your chest.

“Good thing we’ll be all alone in the woods then, huh?”

Kakashi chuckles and nods, kissing you between your breasts.

“My thoughts exactly.”

[dozecode-blog]

Contagion: The Dreaded Vacation Cold

Have you ever found yourself so excited about a vacation that you’ve waited for, saved for and paid for… Only to have a terrible head cold threaten the trip ?

My girlfriend at the time was joining me on our first trip together. A beautiful winter vacation 10 days in Puerto Rico. Because I am known to catch my share of viscous Colds (refer to profile pic) - I was being extra careful to avoid a sniffle.

Needless to say about three days before I found myself in an Uber share - hey why not save a few bucks right? Well in the seats next to me were a mother and her child with a green snotty nose. He coughed he sneezed out two beautiful green lines of thick kid-snot without even a move by the mother…

I covered up, stayed clear and held my breath kept my fingers wrapped soundly around my nose to keep from inhaling any germ… Dude, you’re going away with her. You need to be nose clear for 10 days. That’s all you need to do… Stay nose clear for 10 days. You can come home and catch the bubonic plague so long as it’s after your trip.

What I didn’t factor in was the virulence factor of a snotty kids in a small space. Those micro germs exploding at 1000 miles an hour… And my lousy immune system.

The day of the trip arrived, and I felt it. You know what I’m talking about… You know what I felt a tiny little tickle in the back of my throat. That feeling that something wasn’t quite right. My nose was clear I had so far maintained my nose clear policy as promised. But that damn tickle.

Flight was for 12 noon… I had 4hrs to fight off whatever I was brewing. Drank water took a gummy of Coldeze and gargled with salt water.

On the plane it started… And boy did my throat hurt. But I did not say anything. My girlfriend was happy. I was happy with my girlfriend. She had her lovely lingerie. We were set for a week plus of joy in the sun and in bed. I was not going to catch a nose… Willing myself… I was not going to catch one of my noses.

We landed. It was humid and I felt it was perfect to bake out any germ that may be brewing in my face and throat. What a wonderful first night we made love we ordered room service we made love again… took The most wonderful hot shower together and had some of the best sex ever. We were free and happy just to be together.

The next day… I felt a little bit better and really was happy that I dodged the bullet of the snotty Kid in the car. The beach, back to the room, made love… Back to the beach good food, good music, a couple of fantastic cocktails, and we were in our vacation mode.

My luck had run its course. The next morning… it exploded. The sore throat had taken hold… the headache … the blowing… And yes, oh the sneezing and the sneezing and more sneezing. Even the blows were thicker pressing to clear a badly stuffed nose - snotty to start ending with a long deep trombonist honk. It was here - hitting the nose like a ton of bricks -the head cold from hell was here in absolute record time…

Loading up on tissues in the bathroom—and The noises of a freshly plugged nose. It was my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend suffering from the cold that I had obviously given her. In a stroke of horrid irony - my immune system worked so well that whatever I was shaking off… Shook right off into her beautifully stuffed and now very sore nosy.

TBC

[chishiyaisasnack]

Shower time

Here’s a fic that I’ve been working on for a good while now and I’m finally content with posting it. It’s sfw even though it’s a shower scene. Mostly fluff (?) and a tiiiiiny but of angst.

Disclaimer! This story is based in the Borderlands and it mentions blood, wounds and trauma from it. It’s not about how they got injured, but more so very mildly describing that they are injured. I consider it sfw but it does contain nudity since they’re taking a shower, but I’m not describing bodyparts or anything. Also, small references to sex just for humor, but there is no smut whatsoever.

Oh, and the reader doesn’t know that Chishiya is a doctor.

I’ve written and am posting on mobile so I’m sorry for any formatting issues.

”I’m going to take a shower.”

With strong steps - actually more like a wobble - you walked into your room at The Beach, Chishiya following close behind you, watching your every movement just in case you would trip over your own feet, like you already had done about 30 times since you left the game area. It had been a rough one and it had left you wounded, exhausted and a bit lethargic. Not to mention the strain it had taken on your mental state, like the games always did, but you had turned off your feelings for now and had only one goal in mind: a long, warm shower to wash off all the remnants of the game.

”No you aren’t, it can wait until tomorrow.” Chishiya sounded like he always did, bored and condescending, but you knew that there was some worry in there somewhere. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered to follow you all the way back to your room, offering to catch you when you’d eventually fall.

”I feel gross. I’m covered in … stuff.” Blood. You were covered in blood. You raised your arms to make your point clearer, in case he missed what an absolute mess you were right now.

”Fine. Come on then.” Chishiya sighed, walked around you, and went towards the bathroom while you stood confused, watching him open the door and look back at you before stepping inside.

”Wait, what?” you asked, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Why was he joining you?

With slow steps you followed him, wondering if he got the wrong idea. He was gorgeous, but sex was the last thing on your mind, especially shower sex. Didn’t he say that you were in no condition to even take a shower to begin with? You stopped in the doorway and waited for a response.

”You most likely have a concussion, you’re wounded and you’re exhausted. You’re going to collapse by yourself.” He turned on the shower and let the stream of water fall, waiting for it to turn hot.

”Okay, okay, doctor.” The smirk you got back confused you even more. Did he have a thing for being called ’doctor’? It wouldn’t suprise you, he was a mystery. But even him would surely have preferrences. Wait, why were you thinking about sex again?

You shook your head as you walked inside the bathroom, limping past Chishiya as he was making his way out again. Or so you thought. In the corner of your eye you saw him stretch, but it wasn’t until you turned around that you saw what he really was doing.

”Uhh, why are you taking your clothes off?” Your eyes widened as his hoodie hit the floor. He had no shame, appearantly getting naked with you without warning was completely normal in his world.

”I’m getting ready to help you when you realise that I was right. Don’t worry, I won’t join you until you ask me to. Which will be soon, so I’m preparing for that.”

You didn’t know if you should feel thankful or offended by what he said.

Chishiya however, smirked again, cocking an eyebrow at your dumbfounded look. He was enjoying this. While still looking at you he started to pull down his shorts. Your eyes were fixed on the pile of clothes he had created on the floor, which thankfully wasn’t added with more pieces since he decided to keep at least his boxers on. The daring look he had on his face when you turned your eyes back up was annoying. Did he like that you were looking at him? Not that you were looking at him like that anyway. You just wanted to take a shower. Or so you told yourself.

With his shirt and pants off he sat down on the toilet seat, turning around so that he had his back against you and the glass wall of the shower.

”Go ahead” he said, a hint of amusement hiding in his voice. ”I won’t look.”

”You better not” you huffed back at him, watching him carefully while you started to remove your own clothes, ripped apart and stained with blood. Instead of putting them in a pile you threw them straight into the trashcan. Once removed, you looked into the mirror over the sink and you almost gasped at how wounded you actually were. Cuts and bruises covered your arms, legs and back. Patches of your skin were stained red, even your face still had traces of blood left on it. You looked terrible.

Sighing, you stopped studiyng yourself and looked over your shoulder. Chishiya was still sitting with his back against you, shoulders rising and falling slow with every breath, the muscles of his back tensing when he moved. He looked soft. You wondered what he would look like wet.

No! This was not the right time to daydream about Chishiya and his pretty back, his blonde hair that fell in waves over his shoulders, those shoulders that probably would feel great to hold on to while your lips were… Oh, for fucks sake, just get in the shower y/n.

After disrupting yourself from your thoughts you made your way into the shower, closing your eyes as the water started cascading down your body. The glass wall seperating the shower and the rest of the room was conveniently half covered with frosted glass so that it covered most of your body, from your shoulders down to your knees, making you a bit less embarrassed over being naked in the same room as him. Being naked in front of someone when it wasn’t sexual wasn’t your idea of calming, and even though he had no shame, you still had. This was too intimate, too casual. But if it was what it took to take a shower then you’d do it. Even though you didn’t like to admit it you did trust Chishiya to treat you with decency and respect. He might be considered one of the people you shouldn’t trust in the borderlands, a bad person perhaps, but not bad enough to overstep someones boundaries like this.

”Let me know when you need me.” Chishiyas voice rang somewhere in the distance. Not even a ’if you need me’. He was too confident and it just made you even more stubborn. You were definitely able to take a shower by yourself, you were damned to not let him win this one, you told yourself while reaching for the soap. With unsteady hands (no, they absolutely weren’t unsteady because you were tired) you started to scrub the dirt off yourself, one part at a time. You hissed whenever you discovered a new wound you weren’t aware of and eventually the pain from it made you a bit dizzy. No, you could do this.

You clenched your jaw as you continued, slowly moving from head to toe, covering yourself with suds. Finally, everything you could see and feel was gone, so you let the stream of water fall over you once again, closing your eyes, enjoying the warmth that it gave. You felt your muscles relax, your breathing slowing down, your eyelids getting heavier…

”Chishiya…” you mumbled weakly, mad that he was right, again.

”I’m here.” A voice right behind you made you jump. You turned around and swung your fist towards him, ready to punch him out of pure panic, but he caught it before it landed on him. The borderlands had really done a number on you, you were constantly prepared for survival and appearantly even Chishiya was a victim of your anxiety. ”Calm down, it’s just me.”

”How long have you been standing there?!” You wobbled to the side as you tried to fight your bodys urge to fall onto the ground from the sudden movements. Chishiya steadied you by holding your upper arms, and helped you turn back around so that your back was facing him again.

”You moved slower and slower so I was ready when you called for me. I haven’t been standing here ogling.”

”So you have been watching me?” You didn’t even think about the fact that you probably flashed him completely just now. Well, if he saw something he didn’t care about it, which was comforting in this situation.

”Of course. I couldn’t see anything other than your head anyway. It wasn’t quite the show you think it was.” Chishiyas voice was dripping with amusement.

Once again, you didn’t know if you should be thankful or offended.

”Give me the schampoo bottle.” Chishiya asked, or rather commanded, reaching his arm out next to you so you could hand him the bottle. Once he got it you could hear him shake it before opening it and pouring out some of the liquid in his hand, followed by a low thump as he put it on the floor behind you.

Slender fingers moved over your hair, softly massaging it with his fingertips, giving you full body shivers from the way his fingers drew circles between the strands. It felt nice. Safe. You couldn’t help but to close your eyes again and just relish in the warmth radiating from his hands. He was so careful with how he touched you, slow and gentle while he worked his way through all of your hair.

A part of you wished that he would step closer so that you could feel the warmth from his body wrap around you, so that you could lean back and relax in his arms, just enjoying how your body would feel so at ease while being comforted, but you had no idea how to ask him for that without it sounding sexual.

”Shower head, please.”

You did as he asked and handed him the shower head, turning up the water pressure while doing so to make it easier for him to rinse.

”Close your eyes and bend your head backwards. Tell me if you feel dizzy.” Chishiya didn’t sound so stern this time. His words were soft and comforting, asking you to trust him. So you did.

He rinsed your hair in silence. One hand holding the shower head while the other one kept massaging your scalp, making sure to rinse out the schampoo properly. Even though you desperately tried to relax and just enjoy the feeling of being taken care of, you couldn’t stop your emotions from seeping back into your mind. Pictures of the game were flashing before your eyes. People screaming. Fighting. Lasers going off.

”Chishiya…” you whispered, no longer able to stop thinking about what had happend earlier.

”Mhmm..?”

”There was a child there tonight.”

He didn’t answer but you could feel the movements in his hands stiffen as he continued to rinse your scalp free from schampoo.

”I didn’t know that there were children here” you continued, trying to get the thoughts out of your head so you wouldn’t be tormented by them during the night. ”I thought maybe we were sent here to repent or something like that, that we were getting what we deserve. But why would a child deserve this? Even if we are all randomly sent here, without any reason behind why it’s us in particular, why would they choose a child?”

”…I don’t know.” He sounded emtpy when he answered, not that you were expecting his words to be comforting. They rarely were. There was a long pause before he spoke again. ”Did the child make it?”

”Yeah…” A shiver ran trough your body when Chishiya stopped rinsing your hair, already missing the heat from the water. Another thump came from the floor when he put the shower head down. ”Some of us worked together and protected him as much as we could.”

”Do you have conditioner?” he interrupted, sticking his hand out next to you so that you could hand it to him. You placed the bottle in his hand and watched him retrieve it. A click of the bottle cap was followed by another thump when he put it down on the ground. You wondered how many times he must’ve stared at your ass by now.

”Anyway,” you continued, shaking the image of him smirking at your butt away. ”That’s why I look like this. I took the hits for him.”

”That sounds like you.”

You hummed at his words. It was reassuring that you were considered to be a nice person, even in this hellscape.

Gentle fingers threaded through your hair again and you leaned into the touch. It went by faster this time since he didn’t need to scrub, although you wished he would keep doing this for hours. Every time he let go of you - this time to pick up the shower head again - the ache in your body took over, making you tremble ever so slightly even though the steam from the hot water was surrounding you. You were relieved when you felt the water against your back, contently closing your eyes and bending your head back into Chishiyas palm.

”I envy you sometimes.” Chishiya mumbled, so quiet that the sound of the water almost drowned it out.

”You do?”

”I wouldn’t have helped someone else if it meant that I would have to work for it, let alone get hurt from it.” Chishiya paused briefly, like he was choosing his words carefully. ”Especially not a stranger. You didn’t think twice about doing so.”

”I don’t believe that.” You cut him off before he got the chance to put himself down even more. ”You’re better than you think, Chishiya. Just look at what you’re doing for me right now.��

”I’m washing your hair, I’m not saving you from dying.” You could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

”You don’t have to save me from death to help me. This is helping me. Besides, from the sound of your attempts to stop me from showering, I could die in here if you didn’t help me.”

”Maybe I just wanted to see you naked” Chishiya joked with such a monotone voice that anyone else would think he was serious, but you knew better. Well, if he was serious he had gotten his wish - paired with a fist coming at his face.

”Right” you snorted, too tired to laugh. A blush still crept over your cheeks, imagining his eyes on you in that way. ”Keep telling yourself that if that makes you feel better.”

”There” Chishiya ignored your answer and handed you the shower head. Cold air rushed to your skin as the water left it, leaving you almost begging for him to continue. Would it be so bad if you did?

”You can turn off the water now. I’ll get you some towels. Stay there.”

With a pout you put the shower head back into it’s place and turned off the water. Behind you, you could hear how Chishiya was gathering towels from a drawer, his footsteps making their way back over the tiled floor that would be cold and uninviting for your own feet in a second.

”Lift your arms a little.” You did as he asked and lift your arms halfway up, stopping waist high, only to see Chishiyas arms poking out from under them, holding up a towel that you thankfully grabbed a hold on and quickly wrapped around yourself to try to regain some of the warmth that the shower had given you.

”You’re safe to turn around now.”

”Thank you” you quitly replied as you gently spun around, just to be met by a still undressed Chishiya with his own towel hanging around his neck and a soft expression on his face. If you didn’t know better you would think that he was worried about you.

A smaller towel was in one of his hands - which soon landed on your head, covering your face at the same time. Your sour expression that was revealed as you peeled it off made him grin.

”Do you want help to dry it?” He asked, eyes shiny from amusement, and watched as you stubbornly started to squeeze the ends of your hair, too tired to lift your arms up and dry it completely.

”No, I’ll just put the towel over the pillow when I sleep. It’s fine” you replied, following his example and put your own towel over your shoulders. The chill in the air was starting to really get to you, and you decided that you couldn’t get to the bed fast enough. Just thinking about laying down, surrounded by warm covers, maybe even a pair of socks on your feet at first, burying your head on the pillow…

”The wounds on your back looked fine but I still need to cover some of them with bandaids. I need to examine your front too. Let me know when you’ve covered up so that I can check your arms, legs and stomach.”

Ugh, why did he have to interupt your dream about your bed with another naked request? You just wanted to sleep.

”I’m sure I’ll be fine Chishiya” you groaned back at him, slowly (and unsteadily) making your way past him and towards the bed. You could see the light at the end of the tunnel, just a few more steps and you’d reach the doorhandle, that doorhandle that would open the gate and lead you straight towards the nice, warm, fluffy….

You groaned even louder when you felt a hand grip your arm, stopping your weak attempt to get out of the bathroom and keeping you still while Chishiya made his way around you so that he was facing you again. That calm face was back and you didn’t like it.

”Please, Chishiya, just let me sleep” you pleaded but to no avail.

”Come here.” You had no choice but to move after him, not being strong enough to even attempt to break loose from his grip on your arm, that was keeping you somewhat steady as you plopped one foot in front of the other until you reached the end of the bathroom. Then - lo and behold - Chishiya opened the door and led you out into the hotel room, making your way straight towards the bed. Right as he reached the foot of the bed he stopped and slowly turned the two of you around in a circle so that your back was now facing the bed, and then pushed you back so that you fell down on the soft duvet cover with a yelp. It felt like heaven to finally lay down, like a cloud was enveloping you and taking you with it to the land of dreams.

”Where are your underwear?” Chishiya once again interrupted your inner monolouge.

”Why? Wanna see them so badly even though you’ve already seen me naked?” You rolled your eyes and leaned your head to the side so that you could watch him dig around in a dresser until he grabbed the first, best pair of panties he could find and threw them at you.

”Put them on please, unless you want me to examine you naked. I’m fine with either way.”

You just huffed at him, secretly liking the playful look he was giving you. When he turned his back to you, you managed to shuffle around and get your panties on, just to let your legs fall back down onto the bed with a loud thump. God, you were exhausted.

”I’m done, doctor.” Once again, he reacted with a grin and you were now positive that he had some wierd doctor patient kink and that you were so going to make him confess that. A mission for another day.

Chishiya sat down next to your legs and reached over them to pick up a first aid kit you didn’t even know was laying next to you. Was he a wizard too?

You kept still, listening to the opening of packets, a liquid poured onto what you imagined was a cotton ball, and then your own hiss as he touched the first wound on your leg. It wasn’t the liquid that hurt, it was just the tender touch from the gauze he dabbed against your skin that hurt enough to make you wince. He must have started on a bad one.

”Try to keep still” he murmured gently, sounding like he was completely occupied with his task of tormenting you just a bit more before letting you sleep.

You stayed as still as you could, trying to concentrate on his hands and fingers working their way over your legs, dabbing it with the liquid, letting it dry, then putting a compress and some adhesive tape over it like a home made band aid. His touch was so gentle that it was barely there.

Your eyelids turned heavier with every touch of his fingertips and even though your wounds were stinging, his warm skin eased the pain afterwards and comforted you without knowing so. Before falling asleep you murmured a ”thank you.”

The last thing you remembered was the feeling of being enveloped in something warm, probably the cover that wasn’t underneath you and a soft whisper.

”You’re welcome.”

[idorukiss]

Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon of sorts of how I picture MC's relationship with Sylus would devleop~ I'm not much of a writer but the brainrot is real and ive made similar ones for the other boys too!

1,035 words || You can also read it on ao3

‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙ Xavier ・ Zayne ・ Rafayel

Sylus is always prepared for any and every situation that could happen when he works, In all his time reigning over the N109 zone there hasn't been a single thing or person that hasn’t been accounted for to some degree- that was until you showed up at least. Like a black cat, you seemed to bring unexpected chaos wherever you stepped.

Of course he couldn’t help but do everything he can to keep you by his side, not only to be a formidable ally but simply cause he finds you as a whole fascinating. What kind of things will you say next? How will you get out of this situation? It’s like a game to him, one that he can’t predict or brute force the ending to.

While the two of you didn't get off on the best foot at the start, he proved himself very trusting and that he cared for your well being fairly easily. Sure he would take chances to tease you for the littlest things- even creating various situations just to see your reaction to them, but he still honestly responded to your every question and kept you as best in the loop for things as he was able.

It was strange yet nice to have someone like him by your side, someone so strong and confident that you could trust to cover your back and seemingly trusted you as much to cover his in return. It was a dynamic you weren’t that used to yet, sure you had your fellow hunters but no matter how much you fought alongside any of them you just couldn’t find yourself fully trusting in their abilities like this.

The more he got to know you the more he found himself thinking about you and the things you like. Often swiping his card first and thinking later any time your face flashed in his mind when perusing wares. He wonders how long it will take you to realize he keeps all of his estates fully stocked with presents and everything you might need in the event you show up to any of them.

“Sylus? Why are you calling me so early??” “Check your door kitten, you should have a package waiting for you” “Don't tell me its another gun, I keep telling you I can't use these outside of the N109 zone” he chuckles deeply “Well I could get you a gun too if you really want one. But no, it's something different this time” Curiously you grab the box and start to open it “...A teddy bear?” “Do you not like it? I figured it could add to your growing plush collection.” You let out a small giggle “That's so sweet of you. But you didn't have to send it to me right away, you could've left it in my room for the next time I came by like usual.” his voice is soft, almost whispering into your ear “I couldn't wait to give it to you is all. Wont you accept my gift?” Your heart pounds “I love it, thank you. Ill be sure to sleep with it every night!” your face is beaming, he cant see it through the phone but he can surely hear it in your voice.

Any time you find yourself without missions long enough to justify the trip, you spend it in the N109 zone with him. You told yourself at first it was just to keep an eye on him and see if you can catch any weaknesses, but you were secretly excited to be spending time with him even if it was just sitting in content silence together while he worked. And despite his unchanging face, Sylus might’ve looked forward to each of your visits even more than you.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary to accompany him to various events and gatherings, and it was surely strictly for business at first. Now though? It’s hard to tell. Not that you mind either way, it just felt nice to have his arm around you and being doted on throughout the night. When people inquired about who you were, he would usually refer to you as his woman in a more joking way at first, but your heart couldn't help but flip the first time he said it more genuinely. While looking right at you with a smile.

One very late night after attending a party, you couldn't help but doze off in the car on the way back to his place. It was much later in the night than you are typically used to, you don’t know how he can function at this time of night most days. You can’t help but let your mind wander and picture what day to day life with him would be like if you just never went back home.- If you stayed by his side for the rest of time.

He gently carries you inside, but instead of going all of the way to your dedicated room he brings you with him into his. There's no nefarious plans, he just simply wants to have you by his side longer and has wished to wake up to your face for far too long. A faint hum stirs you from your dreams as you are being gently placed onto the comfort of his mattress. A small kiss pressed to the top of your head as the blankets pulled over you before he quietly climbs in beside you.

Did you even wake up in the first place? Even if it was still a dream it meant everything to you, and you reach an arm out pulling yourself close to him and nuzzling into his side. Your eyes flutter closed once more enjoying his warmth as he quietly chuckles to himself and wraps an arm around you in return, falling into a blissful sleep of his own. Neither of you would give up this moment for the world, you were meant to be in each other’s arms just like this for eternity.

He would kill for you, and you would live for him. Nothing anyone could do would predict your love for one another, and you'll continue to defy fate to be with him

[sinisterexaggerator]

Beauty and the Bounty Hunter

Chapter 6: An Apple a Day

(Cad Bane x Fem! Reader/OC)

*This is a second-person POV (reader) fic / OC fic. It's both. I forgo physical descriptions as much as possible, though yes, you/she has a name, and a personality.

This chapter: Our dear reader has left the safety of Bane's ship. Todo is beside himself—though you've enlisted for his help. Will things go according to your plans? Of course not! They never do when you're involved!

Warnings: 18+ for gunfights and canon typical violence. References toward extreme hunger. Stealing. Droid sass. Imaginary dick sucking scenario (brief).

Word count: 5k+

Notes: I am not sure how it has been since November 2023 since I last updated. I tell you what, time flies! Thanks for sticking around. I will definitely keep writing for this fic, no matter how long it takes!

BATBH: Masterpost

Ao3

THIS IS A CRACK FIC! Or, as I like to call it: Slapstick Smut.

You are Aurora Ordel, and you have made it to the Collective Commerce District with Cad Bane’s droid in tow. He is not happy, but that is the least of all your worries. Currently, you are without shoes, or food. That’s not to mention your lack of spectacles.

But you can only deal with one thing at a time; you are broke, all your money, your credit cards, are back at your penthouse in upper Coruscant. So close, but yet so far. That’s why you would solicit for his help, though Todo 360 was more concerned about disobeying Bane.

“We should have stayed put! Bane will undoubtedly be back soon!” the droid exclaimed.

“I need food,” you protested, your belly grumbling.

You winced, for you had stepped on something. This trip had been slow-going, what with the fact that you were barefoot and could hardly see a thing.

“Surely, a few more minutes would not have killed you,” Todo retorted lamely. You turned on him; the droid reeled back as if expecting to be abused.

“No, but you can stop complaining—or, or just leave,” you griped. People turned their heads to stare. You obviously didn’t care, though the little bot would wring his hands.

“I would love to,” he admitted readily, “but Bane would not approve.”  The droid sighed in that human way of his. “Fine.” He employed his most irritated tone. “I will help you.”

“Good!” you offered bitterly—it had been like pulling hair, or teeth, to get him to agree. You kept on walking.

“Ow, ow, ow,” you complained with every step. Todo shook his head, tugging at the edge of your makeshift dress.

“Do you need me to carry you?” Todo asked facetiously.

“Don’t tempt me,” you replied sardonically.

Then, you saw it, just across the way—it was a type of retail outlet, one of those places that offered discounts and that was most likely family owned, tucked away in a corner next to some cheap salon. “There,” you pointed straight ahead. “Make yourself useful; fetch me something I can wear.”

“And how will I do that?” Todo asked. “Are you to pay for it?” he wondered skeptically.

“Do I look like I have money on me?” you snapped saucily.

“Hmph,” Todo harrumphed, “I am not permitted to use Bane’s funds. His credits are his, and he is very protective of them.”

“Then steal them!” you implored, becoming frustrated by this back and forth. “I wear a size seven shoe, if you so please.”

“I am a techo-service droid, not a common thief!”

You rolled your eyes, then threw up both your arms. “You’re useless, is what you are!”

“I am not! I have many useful functions!” Todo defended.

“Then prove it!”

Todo stared you down; you stared at him right back. For a moment, you were not sure what might happen, but he took the bait, making sure you felt rightfully ashamed for asking him to do this before he left.

“I will have you know this is beneath me! I am doing this only so that you will stop with your complaints!”

“Wonderful! Amazing!” you shouted after him, sitting down on the cold, hard ground. You crossed your arms and sighed. You hoped he had a discerning eye for fashion. There was no telling what the droid might bring you, but whatever it was, it would have to do.

---

“Todo…” Bane’s gruff voice echoed throughout his ship. All seemed quiet, which wasn’t a good sign, not in this instance.

He swept through the lower level, his coat trailing him, finding evidence that you had been through his conservator and spoiled his lunch—it was face down on the ground—his eyes narrowed.

“What a waste,” he grumbled, ignoring it for now. The droid would clean it up; he could be sure of that.

He had won this ship in a bet against a pirate, but now it was considered home sweet home. He liked to keep it clean, neat, and tidy—all save for his room. That was where he could revel in his loot, should he choose to do so. Thinking about all his credits sent him scurrying up to the second floor.

If you had gone into his quarters—if a single thing was out of place—If the droid had allowed for it to happen—there would be no one alive who could protect him from his wrath.

“Todo!” Cad Bane shouted, red eyes set into a glare. “Ordel…” he added after the fact, hoping you might answer.

He was met with recurring silence.

It was now obvious that there was no one here; Bane approached the door to his private residence.

There were bolt shaped holes within the door; he knew what had happened at that moment—you were dead on the other side, riddled with blaster shots.

Well, it would serve you right for snooping. The Duros groaned; he had allowed himself to mildly like you. Where Todo was he could not guess, but he would worry about that once he had disposed of your lifeless corpse.

“Just had te be nosy, didn’t ye—” There was no sign of you, nor blood, nor viscera. You had gotten away scot-free, though his alarm system had done its duty.

Bane would fold his arms as he surveyed the scene, thinking perhaps the droid had dragged you out, but there weren’t any bright red smears, no scent of death—where the hell had you gotten off to?”

“Todo!” Bane yelled into his comm. “Answer right dhis dag-blamed minute, or Ah’m gonna fly us te Tatooine just te force ye te walk through sand!” Bane threatened, knowing what that would do to his many servos.

Static, followed by the quietest of voices. “One moment, Bane. I am in the middle of something,” the droid returned. Bane was indignant then, his temper soaring.

“What de kriff ye mean ‘one moment?!’ Just where de kark are ye?! Where’s Ordel?”

The little asshole had the nerve to mute his comm; Bane ground his teeth, cursing. “Yer in deep shit,” he growled.

The hunter would activate the tracking device built into his droid. With a single press of a button on his multipurpose gauntlet, Bane had access to his coordinates—the Collective Commerce District. Why Todo was there, it was anybody’s guess, though he would bet a million credits it was all your fault.

“When Ah find him, Ah’m dismemberin’ him limb from limb,” Bane promised.

---

There was a commotion from across the way; Todo 360 was being followed by a humanoid and a busted, beat-up droid. He appeared to be security, but was obviously secondhand, perhaps from auction.

“Get back here!” the old woman yelled; she was hot on Todo’s tail. The droid was faster, regrettably for her. You stood up to your bare feet, though Bane’s confidant had something in his hands—a pair of fuzzy house slippers?!

You gasped, incensed. “Are you kidding me?!”

“Oh, I am sorry. Are these not what you had in mind?” Todo snapped. “So ungrateful! You know, you are starting to remind me of someo—”

Two blaster shots whizzed by Todo’s cranium; the elderly shopkeep was armed, and she was pissed, the droid beside her waving the equivalent of a wooden broomstick.

“They’re fine,” you lied out of necessity, taking up your new footwear from out of Todo’s miniscule excuse for hands. You threw them on then bolted, Bane’s companion hovering along just behind.

“All of this could have been avoided if you had just listened to me!” he said. You suddenly felt ridiculous as the fluffy flats slapped with every step; you nearly tripped as you both rounded a bend—they were too big!

“I would be able to run faster had you stolen me a pair of sneakers; snow boots ... anything but these!”

“You did not specify!” the droid haughtily replied. You dodged a speeder bike; it had nearly clipped you upside your hip.

“I should have known better than to trust your judgment—you are 'friends' with Bane, after all,” you clapped back, almost too naturally.

“Then you are not eager to see him again?” Todo verbally retaliated.

“I—”

Another round of laser bolts cut you off. You dashed into an alley, spotting a dumpster used for refuse. In your haste, it was all you could think to do. Both you and Todo placed yourselves inside, though for you, it had been more difficult.

What comedy for the passerby, if anyone had seen. Your head and torso went in first, then your ass; legs; feet.

Something soft and sticky broke your fall as you tumbled to the bottom.

The droid bristled at his new surroundings. “I never have to hide like this with Bane.”

“Do I look like Bane?” You nearly screeched, overcome with disgust as you deigned to hold your nose.

“Of course, not! And be glad of it! The last person who impersonated him wound up very, very dead.”

“Imperson—?” You heard sounds, not sure where they were coming from. Were they close? Had the old woman found your hideout? “—shh!” you demanded.

“Why don’t you take your own adv—”

“SHHHHH!” you reiterated. Who knew droids were capable of glaring? Todo’s golden photoreceptors narrowed, but he stayed silent, despite wanting to chew you out.

You heard the whirling of gears and motors, the echoing of footsteps. Then, the old woman’s voice. It seemed relatively distant, some few paces away. “Head back to the shop—I’ll keep looking,” the lady said.

“Why do they even care? They’re the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen,” you spoke aloud, though barely above a whisper. You thought them hideous; they were pink with fake silk ribbons.

Todo shushed you with contempt for earlier; you rolled your eyes and peered outside. It was clear the woman had not given up, but that she felt the alley was all but empty, continuing down some other path. She left you to sigh out your relief; her droid had already retreated.

“Some thief,” you insulted.

“I beg your pardon?” Todo scoffed. “I would like to see you do better!”

“Fine! I will!” you promised as you began your ascent, climbing out of that damnable trash bin. It was as if your shower had been for naught; you felt disgusting from head to toe, though Todo did not seem any worse for wear. It must be nice to be a little metal man who only needed an oil bath from time to time, and not to wash himself.

“Good! I cannot wait to watch you fail,” the robot taunted.

---

Cad Bane had arrived at CoCo Town in record time, following the little blip that blinked on his right wrist gauntlet. It signified the location of his droid, having long ago outfitted him with a homing beacon should the need arise. It was safe to say that the time had come, as Todo dared to ignore his summons. Bane was sure to punish him for his impertinence—if he ever got around to it, that is.

The area itself was dilapidated, industrial, but you could still look up and see the sky. It was home to many businesses, and hard-working laborers spent their after-hours here, not like down in the bowels of the seedy high-crime district.

There were food stalls, outdoor market spaces, and indoor shopping plazas—though most of the exterior had been graffitied—places to buy a plethora of things. He wondered what made Todo think he would get away without some penalty. But Bane had a funny feeling about all of this—it was hard to imagine his loyal service droid would disobey his orders without coercion.

It was then he saw a woman, old, but armed. She was yelling about some perp who had stolen goods—shoes—out from under her. Bane ignored her, instead focusing on the whining of sirens in the distance that belonged to none other than Coruscant Security. The city had its own police force, mostly in the form of droids, in addition to the Empire’s white clad troopers.

Bane had dealt with them on more than one occasion, but he was curious what the ruckus was—the blinking of the tracker on his gauntlet was pulsing faster, stronger.

“’Course it’s dhem,” he groused.

Bane swept back the tail end of his duster; he cleared the way, should he need to pull his blasters. A crowd had gathered, though small. The Duros slipped through the cracks, past arms, and elbows, to push his way up toward the very front.

“Todo… De kark’s goin’ on here?” Bane hissed.

---

**15 minutes earlier**

“There,” you pointed. “I want it, so, so badly,” you exclaimed, gesturing toward a fruit stand. It was laden down with brightly colored, fresh things to eat. An apple had caught your eye though your vision was fuzzy—it was Corellian, from your home planet, and the prettiest red you had ever—barely—seen. “I’m starving.”

“Yes, I know. You have only mentioned it twelve times,” Todo informed you.

“Well, if you want me to keep quiet, then buy it for me!” you snapped. Your attitude was mounting. You still felt weak, your head was killing you, and you did not know how much longer before you might faint.

“I already told you!” Todo sounded exasperated, “I am not permitted to spend Bane’s credits, unless given his express permission.”

“But I am the one who is paying him! It’s my money!”

“It most definitely is not! Once the transaction is complete, the money is his. There are no refunds in this business!”

“Not a refund! A… a loan! I will pay it back! I’m good for it!” you argued. It was so degrading to be this smart, to have as much money as you did, yet not any access to it.

“The answer is no,” Todo huffed, crossing his tiny arms. “Besides, were you not going to show me ‘how it is done?’ since you claim to be the better thief?”

You sighed, pulled your “dress” down, then adjusted the belt that had belonged to some dead Jedi long before your time. You caught a faint whiff of garbage clinging, but you also smelled Bane’s scent—it was embedded in his shirt, the one between you and being naked.

“Fine, we will do this the hard way,” you grated.

“Indeed, we shall."

You sneered despite yourself. “Well, can you at least offer a distraction?”

“Would that not be cheating?” Todo snapped. “I managed to escape—alone.”

“Do you not think Bane would be upset with you should anything happen to me?” you whined.

Todo saw your logic, but he had to decide whether if he should care—though it was Bane that he feared, not you. “It is your fault we are even here!” he scolded, then he sighed again. “And what is it that you want me to do this time?”

“As I browse the seller’s wares, or at least pretend to, just—make something up! Are you not the droid of a galaxy-renown bounty hunter?! Surely you are clever!”

“Are you not a brilliant scientist who works for the Galactic Empire building superweapons?!” Todo shot back.

“I—I cannot think when hungry!”

“I am so fortunate not to be organic,” the droid rejoined.

“Just follow my lead!”

Todo shook his head as he watched you approach the stand; there were others to the left and right; many people shopped there. Though you had no use for tools, new clothes, or jewelry, it was food you needed—the apple would have to do for now. If nothing else, it would keep you from passing out.

But you were not an actress. You tried to behave casually, to walk as if nothing ailed you, to pretend you were not wearing a man’s oversized shirt along with fluffy bedroom slippers. People were already gawking at you; it could not be helped. You felt you should be embarrassed for yourself, but your top priority was not in feeling shame, it was to stuff your face.

You had never stolen anything in your entire life; this would be the first time. You figured the droid knew you were a liar, but there was no use in backing out.

How hard could it really be? You needed to eat! Your hunger was overpowering your logic and your sense of decency.

Never in a million years would you think to dress like this, but this was an emergency! Your empty belly made a horrific sound as you doubled over; a Rodian turned to study your behavior. She clutched her youngling a little closer.

What must you look like? No use in worrying about that now. You recovered marginally, then stood upright again.

You swore you could smell the apples’ ripeness; you daydreamed about that first, crisp bite. You would let its juice run down your chin and fill your mouth like some dirty whore imbibing Duros dick, unable to get enough, but first…

There was a human man manning the fruit stand—your specialty. You thought maybe you could either flirt your way through this or have him look the other way, should Todo play his part right.

You leisurely walked forward. For now, his back was turned. Maybe this would be easy after all, though as soon as your fingers found your prize, the asshole pivoted.

“Interested? Fresh off the ship from Corellia. Three credits each,” he said.

Your fingers twitched, but you would not back down. You picked the apple up, pretending to admire its unblemished skin. “How about a sample?” you asked with confidence, “I’ve never had one before. I’m not sure if I will like it.”

“Oh, you’ll like it,” he replied. “No samples, I’m afraid, but it’s worth the price.”

So much for that tactic.

You glanced a little to his left. Todo was hovering somewhere right behind him; he had his little arms folded. He was no doubt watching your performance with disdain, already amused that you were failing.

“And this?” You pointed to a Meiloorun; they were not your favorite.

“Five credits,” the man offered.

“That’s robbery!”

“Plenty of people don’t mind paying it,” he shrugged. His attention was briefly diverted elsewhere.

You began to step slowly away; the man wasn’t as daft as you had hoped that he would be. Before you could even move one inch, his eyes were on you.

“You paying for that?” he questioned, his tone elevated, the apple still held tightly in your hand.

“What?” You attempted to play stupid, “of course I am! Are you insinuating something?”

The man’s brows narrowed in suspicion. “Can never be too careful—lots of riffraff around here.”

How unfortunate you were going to have to resort to Todo’s help.

You tried to signal him, making a motion with your eyes; the droid did not seem to understand. Perhaps he thought you were having some sort of seizure.

You tried again, acting as if you had seen something. “What’s he doing?” you queried. “You, droid!” you called out, in hopes that Todo would hear you and play along.

Todo looked to the left, then right, catching on about as quickly as a slow-moving slug. Was he doing this on purpose?

The man was distracted for about one millisecond before he caught on, moving to snatch the apple right out of your hand. “What are you trying to pull?”  he asked heatedly, now angry that he had missed. “Give that here, before I notify the authorities you’re out here thieving.”

“I’m-I’m not!” you stuttered; you were a terrible fibber, as it turned out. About that time, Todo 360 tried to join you at your side.

“I told you this would not work!”

“As if you were any help!”

“Do not blame me! This was your idea!”

“I tried to signal you!”

“Is that what you were doing?”

“Quiet, both of you!” the man who manned the fruit stand yelled. He snatched you by the wrist and tugged, pulling you partway forward.

“Ow, you’re hurting me!” you whined. He did not seem to care. He removed the apple from your grasp, but did not release his steadfast grip.

“You’re staying put, until the Security Force gets here!” the man declared.

“No need for that! I have money, it’s just back at my home—I’ll come back and pay you what it’s worth, I’m just so hungry!” you begged the man.

“Like I haven’t heard that before, you wretch!”

“Please,” you pleaded.

“I bet you’re homeless.”

“I am an Imperial Scientist!”

“Like hell you are!”

“It would be in your best interest to unhand her,” Todo 360 stated. You had almost forgotten that he was here. “I cannot tell you how much you may come to regret your actions should any harm come to Miss Ordel.”

“Ordel, eh?”

“Todo, why would you say my name?!”

“Well, I—”

A crowd had gathered, someone had obviously called the law. You could hear the sirens wailing to your dismay, though at least it wasn’t the Empire on their way to see you, dressed like some… street person.

Just then, a voice—it was like music to your ears.

“Todo… De kark’s goin’ on here?”  

It was none other than Cad Bane!

Oh, happy day! You would have gone to him if you were able, yet you felt yourself slipping, falling, disassociating from reality. You had used up all of your remaining energy and felt you would soon pass out; Bane’s droid decided he would speak up on your behalf.

Well, sort of. He was more so a tattletale.

“Thank goodness you are here!” Todo 360 began; Bane glared between him, you, and the man.

“I told Miss Ordel to stay put, but she would not listen! This person has accused her of stealing, and well, he is correct, though I do not think that he—”

“—Let go of her,” Bane seethed, ignoring Todo 360.

Your current captor seemed not to know who this Duros was; he remained serious, and even a little smug. “Not until the authorities get here to arrest her.”

A flash of blue whizzed right past your head, the luminescent circle stunning the no-good fruit stand worker. Truthfully, he had done nothing wrong except perhaps put his hands on you.

His body dropped; you tried to keep from crying. Your belly ached. All you wanted was a scrap of food to eat!

This time, Bane was the one to snatch you up after holstering his blaster; you were moved without your say-so. You whimpered as the hunter dragged you up and brought you to his level. His eyes were as red and bright as the depths of a fiery inferno.

“What de kriff ye wearin’, girl? Ye look like a creditless vagabond,” the gunslinger growled. “Smell like one t’boot—‘sat m’shirt?” he scowled.

“I-I took a shower!”

“Must naht have werked.”

You could no longer contain yourself; you let your tears flow freely. You pouted pitifully as he glowered at you, wanting, hoping for nothing more than some small sort of reprieve.

“Bane, I’m-I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Bane watched as you crumbled in his arms. He caught you so you didn’t fall flat onto the ground. His eyes had widened beneath his wide-brimmed hat, the Duros palming one side of your pretty face.

“What’s wrong wit her now?” Cad asked, a sound of slight concern etched into his voice.

“I believe that she is hungry,” Bane’s droid responded, “and she has been for quite some time—did you know she has not eaten for three whole days? She would not shut up about it, I am afraid.”

Bane frowned, then looked around him; he spied the apples. “Dhis what she was goin’ fer?”

He scooped one up and held it out for you to take. Its scent caused you to enliven and wake back up as if he had used smelling salts. You took it, albeit shakily, from his rough and scaly hand.

Bane shot his droid an angry glance.

“Told ye te look afta her—some guard droid ye turned out te be.”

“It is not my fault that woman never listens to me—or you! What would you have me do?”

“Yer karkin’ job,” Bane shot back nastily. “Shoulda stolen de damn thing.”

If you were not currently so bad off, you would have laughed at Bane’s tiny confidant. You would have gloated right in his metal face, but you felt so weak you could barely hold the apple to your mouth. The Duros steadied your hand with his. You felt you could cry more deeply, for the gesture was endearing after everything you’d been through.

“Thank you,” you said softly, sinking your teeth into its crisp, red skin. It was everything you had hoped for it to be and better; you chewed slowly so as not to choke yourself.

“You have no idea!” Todo interjected. “I tried my best! Do not fall for anything she says!”

Cad Bane felt some kind of way as he tried to help you up to stand. You nibbled as you allowed him to manipulate your person; you almost teetered over. Your legs were trembling; you felt wobbly. Bane let go of you to observe you eat; he ignored all the other people who were staring, thinking he ought to take you someplace safe.

“What’s wit de getup?” Bane asked. Then, it all came flooding back. “Ye were fool enough te let her go messin’ ‘round de ship? Inte my quarters?”

“Let is not the word I would use,” Todo bit back, agitated. “She had nothing else to wear after her time in the refresher.”

You ignored that they were speaking about you as if you were not there; you were only on your second bite when a voice you recognized interrupted your ill-gotten meal. “There she is!” an old woman screeched—it was that blasted shopkeep!

Droids were with her, officers, ones that had blaster pistols and binders at the ready.

You dropped the fruit onto the ground as you prepared to run, only your legs would not cooperate; they were too much like jelly. You whined pathetically as you hid behind Bane’s duster; he shielded you like a proper bodyguard, and you were oh, so thankful.

“What’s de meanin’ o’dhis,” the hunter drawled.

The bitter biddy pointed down at what you were sporting on your feet. “Those are my shoes she stole! Her, and that weird looking droid!”

“Who is weird looking?” Todo snapped.

Bane glanced down at the fuzzy pink slippers covering your toes. He wrinkled the middle of his face; he thought them in poor taste, but it wasn’t your fault! Todo had chosen those!

“How much she owe fer dhem hideous monstrosities?” Bane asked.

“No! I am pressing charges!”

“’Fraid we’re gonna have ourselves a problem.”

“Who-who are you?!” the lady snapped.

“De name’s Cad Bane,” the Duros said with a tip of his large hat.

“Cad Bane—” one of the officers cut in, his voice robotic as he spoke through his vocabulator. He paused, as if running some sort of scan: his query came back answered.

“Halt. You are under arrest.”

“’Scuse me?”

“You are a known criminal and are considered to be armed and dangerous.”

The scoundrel smirked, pulling his LL-30s. “Ye got dhat right.”

You cowered as Bane made use of his blaster pistols a second time, putting those two droids straight out of commission, though the sounds of laser fire had drawn more unwanted attention by and large, more police units already descending on your coordinates.

“Are you crazy?!” the shopkeeper yelled, dashing off in the opposite direction. It was clear she no longer wanted any part of this. Perhaps those ugly slippers weren’t worth the trouble after all.

Sirens blared, lights were flashing. The area was becoming overrun by Coruscant Security personnel. You clung desperately to the back of Cad Bane’s coat; the hunter whirled around. You gazed up at him, not knowing what to do.

The Duros sighed. “Why is it trouble just seems te find ye?”

Your lower lip quivered; you could not think of a satisfactory response. Your brain might as well be mush; you had not one coherent thought.

“Feed me,” you implored.

“Ah swear Ah ain’t gettin’ paid enough fer dhis,” Bane complained as he hauled you up.

You scrambled to toss your arms around his neck; you held on like your life depended on it, because it did. Bane’s boots ignited as he carried you aloft, well over the Collective Commerce District of Coruscant.

Todo followed his master’s lead, even as shots began to light up the sky surrounding you, barely missing, scorching the sides of buildings. The gaggle of police below had decided to put on quite the show.

“My hero,” you muttered softly, warmly, in Bane’s ear. You kissed his cheek, then hugged him tightly to yourself.

You would fail to notice the tinge of green coloring Bane’s cheeks, or the sneer that formed to try and cover it, but Todo wouldn’t.

“Stay still before Ah drop ye,” the Duros reprimanded.

The droid would silently judge his friend and colleague as they flew together, dodging plasma bolts, as was often customary, though what wasn’t was having a woman held almost gently in his arms.

Todo stared and stared.

“Just admit you favor her,” the robot mumbled. It was a good thing neither of you had heard him, though Bane turned his head—if Todo had a heart it would have stopped.

“What’s dhat?” Bane asked warily.

“I said you must admit she is a danger to us both!”

Despite him lying, it was the truth.

“Go back te de ship,” Bane commanded in a none too happy tone. “Yer gonna bring de hovercar around when Ah comm ye next—and ye better answer.”

"I swear I meant to!" Todo was indignant, though he knew when to hold his tongue, not that he had one.

Bane bared his teeth.

“Fine, if you insist.”

“Ah do—and clean up dhat mess ye left.”

“I am happy to assist,” the droid replied, though against his will; Bane was tolerant enough to let him be himself. While others of his kind might find themselves restrained, Todo was simply required to be of service.

He supposed things could be worse.

[dannystheone]

Hazing The Kitty Cat! (Lee Wolverine/Ler Deadpool)

HI GUYS OH MY GOD SORRY IT'S BEEN A SECOND

First I'd like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR AAALL OF YOUR SUPPORT

My Deadpool and Wolverine fic is my VERY FIRST work of fiction on my blog to reach over 100 likes and I couldn't have done it without you guys. This is such a huge milestone for me, I'm so incredibly grateful to you all, and thank you thank you thank you AAA I'm so happy ;-; All of your comments and feedback have been so wonderful to read

I had this idea randomly knowing that Deadpool needed to get Wolverine back (even though nobody asked for it teehee) but this one is just for funsies

Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE/ Cursing, fourth wall breaks- Hey- what are you doing? "DEADPOOL HERE GUYS! JUST READ THE FIC AND LOVE IT! MARVEL JESUS OUT!" -okay, um- as I was saying... General shenanigans that come with Deadpool fics

Wade decides to haze Logan as it's his first night staying in his house as his roommate. But Wade discovers a heavily guarded secret that Logan has been keeping...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aaahhh- nothing like coming back home to this little superstar and slipping your aching feet into your big rubber masturbatin' shoes, 'amiright?" Wade entered the living room of his apartment with Dogpool under one arm, a beer from the fridge in the other, and sat beside an unamused Logan on the couch.

Deadpool had an assignment today from Hunter B-15, so he was out while Logan moved into Wade's apartment with Althea, or Blind Al as she's affectionately referred to. Logan didn't have much to move in, considering he wasn't even from this timeline, so he went to the grocery store for the first time in who knows how long to get some essential things. A toothbrush. And a six-pack.

Logan was on his fourth from the six-pack as Wade sunk into the worn couch next to him, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, and sighed, content. Dogpool pushed up on Wade's chest to give his face some slobbery kisses. Wolverine groaned in disgust at the display.

"Do you have to make out in here? Why don't you two get a room?" Logan asked gruffly. His personality had brightened since Wade found him in that bar on that fateful day, but that didn't mean he was still a grouch most days. Wade set his beer down on the coffee table and scooted closer to Logan on the couch, causing Logan to lean to the right to escape him.

"It wouldn't make a difference, daddy dearest. It'd still be like we're in the same room with the noises we make. Since we're in this room though, we can make room for one more~" Wade laid his head on Logan's shoulder, which Logan generously tolerated for all of two seconds before he shoved him off.

"Alright, get off. Just because I agreed to live here doesn't mean I'm gonna do the whole... your thing." Wolverine said while swirling a hand in Wade's direction. "I'm not gonna be a prop in the clown show you wanna call an apartment." Wade huffed a short laugh while he petted Dogpool's head.

"Oh! You're the cutest. My clown show has ball gags, whipped cream, and red hot pokers. But if you want to be a part of THAT clown show, I can make the trip to Spencer's, you say the word." Wade pushed his luck with Logan's tolerance as he ran a finger along one of Logan's 'kitten' peaks in his hair. Logan jerked to the side and slapped Wade's hand away.

"Fuck off, I said," Logan growled. Wade nearly squealed in fangirlish delight when he touched the kitten's peak in his hair, scaring Dogpool and having the pup move to the other side of the couch. His hair was softer than he thought.

"I've been wanting to do that since the first X-Men movie!" Deadpool sighed dreamily and melted. "You know how to make my dreams come true, Wolvie." Deadpool put his cheek in his hand while he lovingly looked up to Wolverine, who was trying to watch the television and tune Deadpool out. Wade brought his hand up to fluff the kitten peak some more, to which Wolverine shot his claws out and threatened Deadpool with them.

"You keep it up, and these will go in a place that will have you screaming your national anthem." Logan threatened. Wade fanned his cheeks at the suggestive words before correcting Logan's words.

"OUR national anthem, Hoser. Don't forget canonically we're both from Canada. And I'm talking to Wolverine, not Hugh Jackman. And also- don't make a promise you can't keep." Deadpool winked as Wolverine rolled his eyes.

"Besides, a little roughing up is in order as it's your first night living in the apartment! Think of it as initiation on your first night in Boy Scouts. Don't worry, I'll be more gentle than Scout Master Kevin was with me." Deadpool promised. Logan huffed an irritated noise as he sheathed his claws back into place. He was also 4 beers deep, so he had a small buzz going. His tolerance towards Wade was slightly larger than usual.

"Just keep away from me, huh? It's not that hard. You ever heard of personal space? They ever teach you that on the planet you're from?" Logan asked, exasperated. Wade shook his head with a gleeful smile and reached his finger forward to feather it in Logan's kitty peak again. Before his finger reached its destination, Logan swatted Wade's hand away. Wade's finger landed near Logan's ear, so he just reached forward and wiggled his finger in his ear to annoy him. His finger wiggled in his ear and scritched down the side of his neck.

"Nope. Just how to slash people in half while also being the funniest and sexiest person in the room. Although you could say that's a God-given talent. Not everyone can accomplish that. Take Ryan Reynolds for example." Deadpool turned to look at the camera.

While Deadpool was yapping, Wolverine twitched to the side from Wade's fingers in his ear and let out a small huff before he could stop himself. He swatted Wade's hand away from his neck before adjusting himself on the couch. Wade's eyes widened with wonder as he rose from his position on the couch and got very close to Logan's face. Logan raised an eyebrow at Wade.

"Either I'm still hallucinating from that Drain-O I drank earlier or you've just given me the greatest gift possible, Logan Howlett. You couldn't possibly be ticklish, could you? That'd be downright diabetic." Wolverine side-eyed Deadpool and tried to turn his attention to the TV again.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone and tend to the muppet you wanna call a dog over there." Wolverine gestured to Dogpool sitting on a dog bed that was 10 times his size cleaning himself. Deadpool looked back to Dogpool, confirmed that he was just fine, and turned his attention back to Wolverine.

"Oh trust me I will. But first- more pressing matters. And I mean that literally." Wade wasted no time taking his fingers and pressing them into Logan's stomach, zipping his fingers up and down the expanse of his tummy quickly. He scritched and feathered his fingers up and down Logan's tummy as quickly as he could while he had this golden opportunity.

Logan snorted through his mouth and dropped his beer in his struggle to curl up and protect himself. He brought his knees up to try and shield his stomach, but Wade's body was in the way to properly do so. Wolverine growled out his chuckles through his teeth while he tried to push Deadpool off of him.

"Pffmt! Urrghh- Gehet thehe fuhuck offa me!" Logan narrowed his eyes as he tried to rip Wade off of him, his stomach bouncing underneath Wade's fingertips. Deadpool smiled at his accomplishment to get the grumpy bastard to laugh for once.

"Wow, those tight, buttery Hawaiian rolls do NOT disappoint. They're hard as a brick house, just like me. I bet everyone reading is jealous AF right now." Deadpool ran his fingertips over Wolverine's abs while shielding himself from Wolverine's attacks. Logan snarled and huffed as he tried punching and gripping Wade's suit to get him off.

"Uhuhurgh! Wahade! You're deahead, yohou hehear mehe?!" Wolverine attempted to threaten him and punch his back, but no one took him seriously when he was so giggly. Wade's back was to him, and his whole torso was damn near on his lap with his hands scribbling in his sides.

"Well, yes. It's in the name, sweetheart. DEAD-pool. Are you delirious already? Geez. I knew your tummy was ticklish from the first X-Men movie, which is what I've ALSO been wanting to do since then, but I didn't know it was this bad. I might need to rework my fanfictions now that I have real source material." Deadpool was thinking up the title of his new fic as his fingers traveled down to Wolverine's hips and started squeezing.

Logan let out a hearty snort as he bucked his hips instinctively. He unsheathed his claws, to which Deadpool flipped around on Wolverine's lap to make them face-to-face.

"Nah ah ah! Claws are off-limits, Baraka! Blind Al doesn't want any blood on this couch, it's brand new from Goodwill. You know how expensive Goodwill is." Deadpool pointed a finger at Wolverine, to which Wolverine snapped his teeth. Wolverine raised his arm to make his claws level with Deadpool's face.

"Then get the fuck off of me and quit fucking messing with me, dick for brains! Why do you always have to be such a moron?" Wolverine questioned. Deadpool took a chance and twiddled his finger in Wolverine's kitten peak again to be annoying before launching his hand into Wolverine's open armpit. Deadpool started scribbling his fingers in the hollow, where Wolverine choked and slammed his arm down.

"Because morons are funny, and I'd rather be the most hilarious person in the room rather than the smartest. Besides, look at how much joy I'm imparting to you! Your face is a dream of laughter and whimsy." Logan's eyes had a very much murderous gleam in them, but he had a forced smile on his face from the armpit scribbles. Dealing with Wade was proving to be impossible.

Logan grabbed Wade's front on his suit and curled his fingers into the material. "Yohou lihisten hehere yohou- ahahaha! Ahahahasshole! *snort* Guurgh! Gehehet thehehe fuhuhuck off of mehehe!" Wolverine growled and snarled his annoyance, but his giggles mixed into the sound. Wade had found a sweet spot in between the bottom of his armpit and a rib-bone.

"Daaww, is little Wolvie tickly wickly? Does Wolvie-reen have a case of the giggly-wigglies? He's so tickle-tickle-ticklish, yes he is! Just the cutest widdle ticklish honey badger! Such a cutie patootie Wolvie-volvie." Wolverine had his eyes squeezed shut as genuine laughter started to come through, the ridiculousness of Deadpool's baby talk and Deadpool's fingers back in his tummy was too much.

"I-hehehe- I swehehear to fuhuhuckin' Gohohohod-" Logan's cheeks started to heat from the exertion. The tips of his ears burned with the stupidity of it all. Logan tried grabbing Wade's wrists to control him, but Wade evaded his attempts rather easily.

"I should put this on TikTok and see how the kids like it! I wonder if that would fit within TikTok's community guidelines, seeing how this is just straight-up pornography. I mean, it feels like I have to pay before seeing something like this. Wait, have I made that joke already? Oh yeah, in the last fic."

Wade gave Logan a few more side pinches before getting up off of his lap and sitting by his side again, and resuming his earlier treatment of messing with his kitten peaks. Wolverine breathed in a breath of patience and prayed to whoever was listening that he actually stuck to that patience.

"If I let you continue... whatever it is that you're doing, you're not to do... what you did before. Got it?" Wolverine asked. Deadpool gave him a sympathetic look as he patted him on the shoulder.

"Poor big bad Wolvie can't say the eensy T-word? This is like when I heard Colossus say 'fuck' for the first time. Come on, I'll pop your cherry. We'll say it together-" Wolverine batted Deadpool's hand off of his shoulder and growled at him.

"Uurgh! No more fucking tickling moron. Just leave me be." Wolverine reached over the side of the couch for his dropped beer, which he saw only had dregs in the can. Dogpool was being dutiful lapping up the spilled drink.

"Okay, okay, fine. And I was about to say you were being a good sport about your initiation. I don't remember you being this dramatic on set. Are you on your cycle? Do you want some cranberry juice?" Deadpool offered. Wolverine rubbed his throbbing temples as he grabbed another beer from his six-pack, and picked up Dogpool to give to Deadpool.

"Here. Play with your sock puppet-lookin' dog and give me peace." Wade squealed as he was given his baby and gave him a hug.

"Oh my babies! How are you my gorgeous nugget?" Deadpool smelled Dogpool's booze breath and winced.

"Woah- boy. You smell like me on the set of Green Lantern. Don't tell Feige I said that, he'll raise Stan Lee from the dead just to bitchslap me." Deadpool ruffled Dogpool's ears as Wolverine snorted.

"Hmmph, sounds like you deserve it." Deadpool smiled as he laid on Wolverine's shoulder again, Wolverine tolerating it now more than he did before. He'd tolerate this any day rather than their previous activities.

"Hah... home sweet home, with my puppy, and my kitty."

"I'm not your fucking-"

"Ah ah ah, Wolvie, the fic is finished! No more speaking lines!"

[juliawrittingsblog]

Diavolo's Kinktober: Phone Sex

Phone Sex

Pronouns: She/Her

Note before reading: I would like to stay the idea of the magical ‘device’ I got from a fic I read a long time ago where Solomon made a magical item that made it where when used, the user can feel as if they are having sex with the mc and the mc can feel what is being done to the magical toy(exp: licking, fingering, or fucking the toy). He gives it to the brothers and sides without telling them what it does and surprises and good times are to follow.  If anyone knows of this fic and has a link I am more than happy to share the link (I would also love to reread it) as a reference and credit for the idea.

For this fic, Solomon isn’t the one who made it but it was found by the mc.

Diavolo opens the door to his luxurious hotel room, fatigue weighing heavily on his body like a weighted blanket. A sigh falls from his lips as he lets the door shut behind him with a soft thump. He walks toward the table in the middle of the room to place his briefcase down and takes off his coat to lay it on the back of the chair before walking over to the bed to sit down. He removes his shoes and sets them aside, raising his arms above his head to let out a long stretch. The feeling of his muscles along his back stretching feels wonderful as he releases the tension that has been building up all day long. A sigh of relief tumbles from his lips as he loosens his tie and unbuttons a few buttons from the top of his button-up shirt. Laying back on his bed, the cool and soft mattress welcomes his body. Diavolo pulls his phone out of his pocket to call Mc.

A ringing sound can be heard on his end before it stops and Mc picks up the line. “Hey, love,” she answers, her voice warm and full of admiration. “Are you finally back at the hotel?”

“Yes, I am, my darling,” Diavolo responds, his body relaxing even more at the sound of her voice. A feeling of peace after a long and busy day blooms in his chest. “Not a moment has gone by today when I haven’t thought about finally getting to call you when everything is done.” He gives a brief pause, glancing at the clock on the bedside table and realizing the time. “I am so sorry for calling you so late, my love. I hope you aren’t too tired from waiting for me.”

A soft chuckle can be heard on the other end of the phone before the sound of her bed squeaking follows, “It’s okay, I am still pretty awake, and I have been looking forward to this all day.” Mc pauses for a moment before continuing, “I did leave you a little surprise in your bags. Have you found it yet?”

Diavolo sits up, looking over at the bags he brought with him on the trip. “No, I went straight into meetings when I got here, so I haven’t had a chance to open my bags yet.”

“Well,” she starts in a teasing tone, “why don’t you go look? You will know what it is when you see it.” She finishes with an excited giggle.

Still keeping the phone to his ear, Diavolo walks over to his suitcase, kneeling down to unzip and open it. The first thing he lays eyes on is the neatly folded clothes that Barbatos had packed for him. Holding his phone between his shoulder and ear, Diavolo carefully removes his clothes from the suitcase, setting them aside on the top half of the suitcase, revealing an item that looks like a realistic vagina attached to what seems to be the handle of a flashlight.

A blush spreads to his cheeks as he stares at the item. “Mc, what is this?”

“It’s called a fleshlight; you use it to please yourself with. But it isn’t just any fleshlight—it’s got a fun little gimmick to it,” Julia says matter-of-factly.

Diavolo swallows the lump that had been stuck in his throat as he gazes down at the toy. “I’m… not sure what you mean?”

“Well,” Julia pauses as she thinks about what to say next, “would you be okay if I showed you what I mean and guided you?” The sound of her voice comes out soft, with a tinge of seduction.

Diavolo walks over to the bed with the toy, crawls onto the bed, and lays his head down on the pillow to get comfortable. “Okay, I’m laying down. Now what?”

“Y-yes, we can do that. What do you want me to do?” Diavolo inquires.

“Wonderful, head to the bed with the toy and get comfortable,” Julia starts, her voice practically cooing.

“I want to get you ready. Will you start playing with yourself for me? Get yourself nice and hard before using the toy.” The blush that graced Diavolo’s ears spread to his cheeks at her bold request, arousal slowly rising in him.

His hand slides down to palm his already hardening cock, a hum escaping his lips as he thinks of Mc. “Does it feel good?” Julia asks, the sound of rustling sheets followed by shuffling.

“Yes,” Diavolo mumbles as he squeezes his clothed cock, his hands moving to squeeze his balls. A sigh escapes his lips, and his hips thrust up into his hand as he enjoys the friction, even though it isn’t enough, and he wants more.

“Are you nice and hard for me?” Mc coos into the phone.

“Yes,” Diavolo mumbles, his eyes shut as he focuses on the thought of Mc and her voice, waiting for what’s to come next.

“Okay, I want you to unbutton your pants and pull out your cock for me,” Mc says breathily into the phone. “I’m going to do the same and join you, okay?”

The sound of shuffling happens once more, which Diavolo assumes is MC undoing her own shorts. The thought of her touching herself makes his cock throb, twitch, and ache for her even more. Diavolo releases his cock from its confinement, a sigh leaving his lips at the relief. “Okay, now what?”

“Do you see the end of the fleshlight that looks like lips? Place that at the tip of your cock and gently rub the tip against it, teasing yourself,” MC instructs.

Diavolo obliges with her request, bringing the lips to the tip of his weeping cock and letting it slide back and forth along the lips. The feeling of it being soft and wet takes Diavolo by surprise a little. A low whine is heard on the other end of the phone, and a smirk forms on Diavolo’s lips at the thought of MC pleasing herself. “Touching yourself?” he asks, a teasing tone in his voice.

“I mean, not exactly. You see, the fleshlight is magical,” she says, almost breathless, as Diavolo slightly presses down on the head of his cock, the feeling wet and warm, eliciting another low whine from her. “What does it do?”

More shuffling and Mc inhaling can be heard before she finally says, “The fleshlight lets you feel as if you are messing around and fucking my pussy.” Mc pauses before letting out a low giggle. “And I can feel everything you do to the fleshlight as if you were touching me.”

His breath catches in his throat at her words, his cock leaking precum from the teasing as he slowly pushes the toy down onto his girthy, long cock. The feeling of warmth and wetness causes him to groan as he pushes himself as far in as he can go. A drawn-out moan escapes Mc, the sensation of her walls throbbing and squeezing him makes it hard for him to maintain his composure as he waits for a response.

“Diavolo,” Mc calls to him, her voice strained, “Please, fuck me.”

A groan leaves his lips at her pleas, the feeling of the toy bobbing on his cock as he listens to her noises, pushing him closer to the edge, her heat gripping him tighter.

“Ah~ Ah~ Please, ohhh my Diavolo please, FUCK ME,” Mc cries.

A growl leaves Diavolo’s lips as he uses the toy to stroke himself harder and faster, her delicious cunt throbbing and sucking him in. His head falls back, mouth agape, his speed brutal as he hears MC’s screams and pleas for him, causing him to bite his bottom lip to keep from fucking her so hard he breaks her. He can feel the throbbing pick up tempo; her walls contract and squeeze him impossibly tight, the act causing him to tumble quickly into his own release. Her cunt clamps down tight as MC screams in ecstasy, cumming all over his cock, mixing their juices together. Diavolo’s body feels light, tired even, as he lays there, catching his breath, with no other sound except for MC catching her breath as well. Both of them lay there for a few minutes trying to recover.

“How do you feel?” MC’s voice chimes in, soft and slightly breathless.

“Incredible,” Diavolo says with a deep sigh, his body relaxed and ready for bed. “How about you?”

“Tired, ready to clean up and get some sleep, honestly,” MC answers.

“I feel the same way,” Diavolo replies, a smile gracing his lips as he looks toward the bathroom, thinking about cleaning up first.

“Okay, then I’ll let you go. Call me tomorrow,” she says, tiredness lacing her voice as she speaks barely above a whisper.

“Okay, my love, I will call you tomorrow. Make sure to get some rest. I love you,” he says, a soft warmth filling his chest.

“Okay, I will. Good night,” she replies before stifling a yawn.

“Good night, have sweet dreams,” Diavolo says before hanging up the phone and getting ready for bed.

[mxdarling]

[“I can’t live without you. I would lose it!”]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: you're a rule-breaker and you tried resisting him, keyword: tried.

ೃ⁀➷: Word count: 1130

ೃ⁀➷: Reference/Inspiration: N/A

ೃ⁀➷: Event: [200 followers event]

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[Warnings:] bad oneshot, maybe ooc riddle, after overblot riddle, yandere behavior, slight controlling behavior, unintentionally guilt-tripping, reader is a rule-breaker, reader is insecure, tiny fluff, tiny angst, cursing ("ass" & "fucking"), mentions of an argument.

[GN reader]

RIDDLE ROSEHEART is a strict ruler, a top student, a perfectionist—any other adjective to describe him that wasn't romantic. Even after the overblot incident, it was difficult to imagine anyone liking him with the traits he carried around the campus; it was even more difficult to imagine him, THE riddle roseheart, liking someone else. Especially if that someone is you—an infamous first-year rule-breaker who hangs out with deuce, ace, and grim—and what's even better, they aren't capable of casting a single spell. A bizarre pair was commented on by most of the students and a few of the teachers and staff. A top student, like riddle, who is almost perfect in every aspect of his life, with someone like you who could care less about upholding simple rules and regulations.

No one believed when deuce, ace and grim said, "riddle and prefect are dating!" and "our teapot tyrant is dating our prefect!! can you believe it!?" Yet when heartslabyul students started seeing their dorm leader and you together more often, the dots were starting to connect, and soon enough, almost everyone knew you two were dating. The teasing went up rapidly (by a certain person in octavinelle, who's also 188cm eel), especially towards riddle, not that it offended him, but it would leave him with a tomato face frequently during the day.

Dating riddle was not a journey you would have thought you would ever experience. It was cute the way he would get shy around showing affection towards you in public—the slight brush of his hand hitting yours, the tints of pink on his cheeks, the (not so) sneaky glances he gives to you when he thinks you're not looking. The obvious blush you see when you catch him staring at you red-handed. Everyone can tell you two will have heart eyes whenever the other is near. You can hear the coo's and ew's from your fellow peers, yet you pay no attention to them as riddle takes all your attention for himself. Whether he's aware of that or not, you don't complain; you could never complain when it came to him.

Yet, of course, all relationships have their fights and disagreements. Most of them would be about you, your rule-breaking habits, and how you don't care enough about your studies. How you don't seem to care that you would fail your classes if your current grades keep up like this. It's at these times that you can clearly feel his disappointment in you. It's these times where you can't help but feel like he can do so much better than you, wondering why he even settled for you in the first place. It's these times where you can see riddle trying to change and not let his old habits slip in again. He's trying, and you can see that all his hardest efforts are never unnoticed by you.

As sweet as the relationship you two shared was, somehow its flavor turned slightly bitter. It was starting to get draining, draining, and draining. Each day, a riddle will ask you to do something or wear something for him, and you do it in a heartbeat! The way he started to slowly change your schedule to match his, the way he started to limit your free time with friends and activities. Spending less time inside your own dorm and more in riddle's bedroom. Gradually, you seem to know more about parts of a book than you do outdoors. It didn't bother you to sacrifice these little things for riddle. Doing little things and doing favors for him was never a bother to you—never at all—until it started getting way, way too much for you.

Here you are again, sitting in his bedroom. If you weren't returning to your dorm, you most likely would've forgotten what it looked like. The history book in front of you started to feel like hands dragging your head to its incredibly long text full of everything that you weren't going to try and digest. You want to throw away the book and do something without sitting your ass on the floor for more than 8 hours. You stand up, telling riddle you're leaving. Replying defensively, he tried to stop you, but, of course, being the natural rule-breaker you are, you resisted him. You aren't sure how exactly it happened, but what was supposed to be a little act of rebellion against his strict behavior turned into a full-blown argument. There were tears. You couldn't take this any longer than you had; you were at your breaking point, and you think now is a good time to fucking leave.

Stomping angrily towards the door, not even bothering to grab and bring your books with you, turning the knob to open the door to leave, or attempting to turn the knob, turns out it's locked. You scoff at his effort to keep you within his room before you could try and unlock the door and actually be able to turn the knob—you feel a pair of arms locking themselves around your stomach.

"Please, don't leave me," he says in a whisper, yet with the quiet atmosphere, you can hear what he says perfectly. Pleading, he's pleading... That's.. unusual. It's not like him to be pleading, yet knowing his home life, you should've known. Behind all that strict and commanding demeanor was a traumatized child wanting to play and have fun like other kids. He sounded so lost and so alone; he was trembling behind your back. His tears tainted the back of your shirt, and he tightened his grip around your stomach like a child not wanting their parents to leave for work. You are mad; you are so mad at him, acting like he was the one suffering in this relationship, yet something in you can't be mad at him.

In your head, your rational side advises you to leave. Leave him weeping at the entrance of his bedroom door as he watches you walk away from this exhausting relationship, away from this draining push and pull, and away from him and his emotional baggage. You want to leave; you need to leave. The door is right there in front of you, waiting for it to be opened, waiting for you to leave. Taking several glances at the door knob and your hand, you let your hand lose grip of the handle. You lost all the energy to try and leave, and frankly, giving up seemed like a good option for you. You could just sit back and let riddle take the lead. riddle wouldn't have to be alone during his toughest times because you would be there for him.

"Thank you.. thank you for not leaving... I can't live without you. I would lose it!"

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

[a/n; woah first yandere riddle work in this blog (as of now since i have another yandere riddle work that i have saved in my drafts) and i must say a very interesting character to write as a yandere, also another one i'm not quite familiar in yandere terms. also i was a little addicted to grinding on honkai star rail for my bronya built i've almost completed so this may have took a little while aha.. (though it's nothing new in this blog LMAOO) but thank you anon for requesting riddle with dialogue #39! terribly sorry for not doing azul i really only had motivation to finish riddle's part so for the sake of my sanity i just didn't write for azul, perhaps next time i will loll. (SORRY I'VE BEEN SO DEAD!!!)]

(edit: WHY AM I ONLY NOTICING THAT I WROTE RIDDLE WITH AZUL'S DIALOGUE??? omg i;m so sorry anon for this mistake....)

[starberry-cupcake]

Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:

so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand

which is never straightforward

that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes

we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it

so get ready for bad math

this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep

I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best

SO

the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated

the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out

ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket

I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication

because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened

harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks

let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it

the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules

so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue

and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue

so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue

I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together

all of this is relative, since time in space is ????

but I need to do this for my own peace of mind

if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?

I need to organize things

I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it

this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time

here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip

this is ortus

if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by

harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"

the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about

like a ghost or whatnot

she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged

ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it

so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable

[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit

don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category

and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them

argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help

side note done]

so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people

she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people

whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean

we're here for you

and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you

I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk

so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship

she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't

she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot

WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

I mean, it's not great that she's suffering

but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL

more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive

I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon

it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss

but with an inanimate object

I'm really liking that dynamic

is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other

ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there

just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think

not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh

not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way

I don't know about this guy tbh

so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us

also, another day without camilla

I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...

[thatstonedwriter]

Can't Sleep?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A/N: Gee, I wonder what inspired this one, def not all the all-nighters I'm pulling whaaaat?

Content; references to sleeping disorders, implied romantic relationships, angst, comfort, mentions of physical affection

Feat; Stolas, Fizzarolli, Loona, Blitzø

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you can't sleep...

Stolas will hold you while he reads or sings to you. If the issue persists, he'll use his grimoire to let you see the stars without leaving the comfort of your bed. If the insomnia episode turns into an all-nighter, you can bet he'll make y'all some cereal while you talk, or watch something. Stolas will do his best to stay up late with you (being an owl demon helps), but generally, he'll fall asleep before you. Let's you sleep in the day after. No pulling curtains or guilt tripping. He knows you need the rest. Stolas will check up on you periodically and bring you food/water if you can't get yourself out of bed. Expect lots of cuddles. I'm sure Stolas would read books on techniques to make it easier to fall asleep, what medications work best, and mental health resources so that he knows exactly how to help you in any way possible. It may seem overdramatic, but all of Stolas' fussing just means he's concerned and wants to do everything in his power to help you get the rest you need.

Fizzarolli decides to sit with you. He doesn't force you to speak or anything, but he's there if you want to. To start out, he'd likely hold your hand or lean his head on your shoulder. He's another who will end up falling asleep before you though. He tries to stay up, but he's just not built for it. Fizz doesn't know how (an is never allowed to) cook, so he'll order delivery from your favorite place. If it's too late to place an order, the best he can do is heat up leftovers or frozen food. Its the thought that counts. In the mornings, Fizz will encourage you to at least get out of bed, even if it's for a few minutes. He won't be pushy, but he knows it's important to get you awake and moving. If you're with Fizz and Ozzie, the latter will be in charge of cooking any meals. Ozzie would also try and help you get out of bed (likely by carrying you, but hey, it's something). Fizz knows it can be difficult to take care of yourself, and that's why he's so adamant about making sure you're okay.

Loona will stay up with you. If you're in your room she'd pull up some movie or TV show to have on in the background while y'all lay in bed. I think Loona would find it comforting to have her hair played with, so she'd try that with you. She can be surprisingly gentle, and you're one of the very few who can see that side of her. Unlike the first two, Loona won't sleep until she's sure you've dozed off first. Most of the time, Loona will make some simple meals so that y'all can snack together. She also knows that it's a bit easier to sleep with a full stomach. It's likely she also struggles with sleep, so more often than not, y'all stay up together. Sometimes Loona will ask to go on walks (not bc it's a hellhound thing). The quiet, cool air, the and the faint sounds of late night traffic echoing through the streets all create a surprisingly serene atmosphere, and by the time you're back home, you're ready to collapse in her arms. Of course, that was Loona's plan all along. You also end up sleeping through most of the day afterwards unless you've gotta get out of bed.

Blitzø will probably just keep you up. To be honest, he probably has sleep problems too. At this point, he's so used to pulling all-nighters that, at first, he doesn't think much of it when you have the same issue. But then he notices your lethargy, the bags under your eyes, and the way you doze off during the day. That's when he decides to take action. Dude practically forces you into a bed or on a couch. And of course, he provides lots of pillows and blankets and hops into bed with you, holding you close and turning on the TV. Blitzø isn't really one for talking about this kinda stuff, but if you need someone to listen, he's all ears. Be warned, dude probably snores and moves a lot in his sleep, so if you need your own space, he'll offer to sleep on the floor. Blitzø would probably try to distract you with jokes and stories, and really appreciates the late-night company, even if it's unfortunately caused by sleeping disorders. At least one good thing comes of it. Like Loona, Blitzø doesn't fall asleep until you do, and even then, he'll probably end up staying awake for another couple hours. He does find it easier to sleep when he has someone with him, though. Mornings after tend to involve a tired Blitzø clinging to you an begging not to get out of bed. Once he's there with you, it's hard to get him anywhere else.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 11: April I

{{ Chapter 10: March I | Chapter 12: May I }} Chapter Directory

noooow y'all can understand why i had to rename the ex-boyfriend to zack instead of having him be porco because i made him too much of a dick skdjfksd

if you wanna get tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, mutual pining, idiots in love, the ex boyfriend that used to be porco that i renamed to zack, emotionally abusive behavior, negative self-talk, levi being kinda mean again, levi being bad at feelings ✧ word count ➼ ~7.2k

It was finally spring break. After the events of last month, you were more than ready to leave town and get a much needed vacation. Luckily, Hizuru wasn't far and was just across the bay, so you got a nice cruise ride in addition to your time spent at the resort. You decided to keep this trip just between you and Petra, spending the week with just the two of you to recharge and be ready to take on the rest of the semester once you came back.

Levi couldn't be more thrilled. The past few months have all involved something related to you that ended up distracting him from reading or writing. Having you gone for a week means he can finally catch up on work without being distracted by your shenanigans every other week. 

However, he currently found himself standing at the doorway of the apartment, glancing into the living room. He was thrilled for sure, but despite that, he seemed to have a heavy heart when he entered his empty apartment. It didn't make any sense to him. Why would he feel remorseful that you're gone when all you've ever done is be a pain in the ass to him?

He couldn't deny it. He missed you. Levi felt a confusing mix of emotions and he couldn't keep his mind off you all week. Given your habits with partying, he wondered how you were doing on your own in a foreign town. Sure, Petra was with you, but she could hardly count as a sober contact. If she was drinking with you, you'd have to rely on yourself to get home, which was unsettling to him.

He found himself both looking forward to and dreading you getting back home. It got to the point that when you did find yourself back home, Levi did everything in his power to ignore your presence. He was too confused and lost in his thoughts to want to be around you. He would have a mix of happy thoughts and distressing ones of confusion and anxiety while you were around. Thus, he barely said a word to you once you got home.

"Nice to see you too, I guess," you mumbled, a little taken aback by your roommate's increased level of aloofness. 

Ever since November and especially since January, the two of you had started to bond. Levi wasn't always referring to you as an annoying undergrad and you no longer saw him as just your "grumpy roommate". You understood each other more and there was some foundation of basic respect there, but none of that was to be seen at the moment. 

You awkwardly shifted around the house as you unpacked your suitcase from the trip.

"Hey, have you seen my phone charger?" you asked Levi, who was standing in the kitchen, brewing his late afternoon tea. 

"No," he said, glancing at you. "Why would I have?"

"You're the one that's been here all week," you said with a shrug.

"Yeah," Levi scoffed, "actually doing work, unlike whatever the fuck you were doing across the bay."

You frowned at him, slightly offended by his comment.

"Hey, I was doing work!" you said with a pout. "Whatever. Can I borrow your charger then? My phone's almost dead."

"What else is new?" Levi said dryly.

You were on your way to grabbing his phone charger when you heard him make that comment and you immediately halted, scowling while looking back at him.

"Okay, what the hell is up with you?" you said sternly as you walked back towards him. "You've barely said a word to me ever since I got home. Did I say something? Do something? Did I not clean something the way you wanted it?"

Levi responded with an overly exasperated groan.

"God, it's such a pain in the ass to have you back again."

You fell quiet at his comment. The fact that this was all he said in response to your questions over what you did wrong indicated to you that it was just your presence that he was pissed about. You weren't sure why his comment stung you as harshly as it did. He essentially thought the same thing when you first moved in and you didn't give a single shit—but now the idea of him hating you made you want to shut down and hide.

"Well," you spoke quietly, "I'm sorry being around me is so bothersome for you."

Levi didn't respond, which only confirmed your suspicions. 

You clenched your fists as you felt your emotions beginning to rise up and threaten to boil over.

He was an asshole. That's all he was and that never changed and you were a fool to think otherwise. He probably hated you for all the times he had to come rescue you from some dumb situation that you found yourself in.

"Whatever," you whispered as you walked past him and grabbed your phone and keys.

"Where are you going?" Levi said with a sigh as you opened the door.

"Getting some air, I guess," you grumbled before glancing back at him without fully making eye contact. "I thought we were over this."

~~~~~

You had stormed out in such a hurry that you didn't even bother to change into outdoor clothes. You were currently swinging alone at an empty playground that had been long abandoned for the day due to the incoming storm. The wind blew through your hair, which had come undone from its ponytail and you lacked the motivation to put it back up. You were wearing a loose t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants on. 

Normally, you'd feel a sense of shame for being out in public like this—but right now, you couldn't give less of a shit. You needed to get away from Levi.

Things had begun to improve ever since November when he took you on that drive after your aunt had decided to tear your entire life apart through a single phone call. You had reached some point of mutual respect. He wasn't the aloof asshole you thought he was, and you weren't the naïve undergrad that he thought you were. After January, it even seem like he cared for your well-being. He went out in the middle of the night searching for you and even went out of his way to care for you when you were sick. 

Yet, he seemed to have completely regressed after you came back from spring break. What if you were misreading him? What if his opinion about you never actually changed and you were just deluding yourself? 

Maybe I should find another apartment after all.

Levi's lack of a response earlier when you were trying to figure out what was wrong only confirmed your suspicion that he thought you were a nuisance. You had asked him what you did wrong so you can do better, and all he responded with was that he was sick of having you around. If it was a few months ago, you'd be more than happy to continue being a nuisance to him. With how grumpy he always was, it felt like a comedic job to you. 

However, after you had opened up to him about your dynamic with your aunt and even slightly alluded to your situation with Zack, you had hoped that dynamic would have changed or at least improved. The fact that it didn't seem to wear away at you. 

His comment had hurt you.

You gripped at the chain holding the swing onto the bar above it as thoughts of your inability to hold any type of long-term friendship began to swirl around in your mind. Oluo and Gunther were surface-level at best. You called Petra your 'best friend', but even that relationship felt shallow, as if she was just tolerating you. You were always the one reaching out. 

Being tolerated was a feeling you were used to. After all, that basically summed up your relationship with Zack. You had started off as high school sweethearts, but over the course of the three years that was your stormy relationship with him, you knew that he only tolerated your presence, which is why he was more than ready to kick you out in June.

As if he was listening in on your thoughts, you felt your phone buzz and frowned when you saw that you had received a text from your ex-boyfriend.

> [zack (3:45pm)]: we need to talk. i'll pick you up at the bar we used to go to. > [you (3:46pm)]: why > [zack (3:51pm)]: wtf do you mean why? plus some of your shit is still at my place > [you (3:53pm)]: wonder who's fault that was > [zack (3:54pm)]: the hell is up with this attitude? just get to the bar, i'll be there in 20.

~~~~~

Levi's day had been going terribly. Without even considering your little tantrum, he was already stressed about a research update he had to do in two weeks that he hadn't had the time to work on. 

The forefront of his mind blamed it on you. You came home and immediately began disrupting his life and bringing chaos home again—but he knew that wasn't true. It wasn't your fault. You were gone for an entire week throughout spring break and he still wasn't able to get anything done. His inability to work had nothing to do with you. 

Upon realizing that fact, he scrunched his eyebrows together, wondering if he had actually been a bit too cold with you once you got home. He had caught himself getting much softer with you throughout the last month, even allowing you to sleep in the same bed with him because you had a nightmare. That, itself, was already unheard of for Levi Ackerman. 

He brought out his phone. The time was a bit past 6:30pm. He had around two hours before he had to get to the café to pick up a closing shift from Onyankopon. He opened up his text message thread with you and frowned, wondering if he should shoot you an apology message.

Eventually, he decided against it. After all, why should he apologize to you when you were the one being a little shit? 

Still, you were gone for a while. It was around 2:00pm when you stormed out of the apartment, and it was starting to get late.

He placed his phone in his pocket, annoyed for even getting remotely concerned about your well-being for something as simple as you stepping out of the house for the day. He could feel himself getting attached, despite all of his efforts to get himself not to. The feelings that you elicited out of him were miserable to deal with and he knew the best way to get rid of them was to put a stop to any feelings of this newfound attachment. Why he was even getting attached to you in the first place was astonishing. It pissed him off.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he shut his laptop and got up from his desk, walking out of his bedroom. He grabbed his jacket off of the coat hanger as well as his car keys, deciding on going for a drive in an attempt to clear his mind from any remaining thoughts of you.

~~~~~

After an exceedingly awkward dinner and car ride with your ex-boyfriend, you finally arrived back at Zack's apartment. You felt an uncomfortable, dull feeling appear in your chest as you walked into the apartment that you had lived in for the first two years of your undergrad. It could hardly be even called an apartment. It appeared more like a loft that had multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and nearly triple the amount of the living space that you currently had in your apartment with Levi. It was obnoxiously luxurious and it ironically made you appreciate your humble lifestyle with Levi now.

You shuffled awkwardly as you followed Zack towards the dining room area. The t-shirt and sweatpants that you wore felt out of place and inappropriate. He rarely saw you like this, if ever. Even when you were home for the entire day, you were constantly wearing outdoor clothes, like a blouse and jeans, around him. That's just how you were. Appearing the way you did now around him felt wrong, although you couldn't quite explain why. It wasn't that you were uncomfortable with dressing more casually—you did that at home now all the time, but the minute that you stepped out the door of your home and into Zack's, you began to feel your anxiety rise up.

"Well, you certainly look like a slob," Zack mumbled, glancing at your outfit.

"Well, I didn't have time to dress up for you, Your Majesty," you retorted, frowning at him, "since you decided to text me last minute."

Zack was not used to this outspoken nature of your personality. When you were with him, you were much more pleasurable to be around—at least according to Zack. He did not appreciate this new facet of your personality that has suddenly arisen within the past few months.

He made a head nod towards a box of some of your stuff that was casually thrown into a corner of the living room. You looked over before taking a seat at the dining table.

"What did you want to talk about?" 

He sat down across from you.

"Listen," he began, and you immediately clenched your jaw, having a basic idea of where this was going. "I know I overreacted when we left off. I shouldn't have exploded at you like that. I shouldn't have kicked you out."

Your mind went back to the fateful interaction with Zack that led to you being forced to find an apartment last minute. No matter how you tried to rationalize it, you knew that Zack was controlling and prone to getting extremely angry whenever you resisted his wishes. Small grievances with him had built up to a penultimate point in which you confronted him and he reacted poorly.

If this was any other day, you'd likely immediately tell him to fuck off—but the events of the day that had happened earlier with Levi left you much more emotionally vulnerable than usual. You'd be lying if the idea of falling into someone's arms didn't bring even the slightest amount of comfort to your mind—even if that someone was Zack. 

However, as Zack continued to monologue about the potential of you moving back in with him, you began to pull up the reality of your relationship with him. You were definitely more unhappy than you were willing to admit to anyone and you knew it had something to do with his controlling nature. He had kept you pretty isolated from any potential friends—and now that you think about it, that could be why you struggled with making and keeping deep friendships now. 

No matter how desperate you were right now for some form of intimacy to make up for the turmoil swirling within you throughout the latter half of the day, the last thing you wanted to do was get back together with someone that felt the need to dictate your every move and action. 

"You're the one that kicked me out, Zack," you said once he finally gave you a chance to speak.

"Well, now I'm inviting you back in."

"What if I don't want to?" you responded, feeling your anxiety kicking in. Zack hadn't even done anything yet, but your instincts immediately dumped all of the reactions that constituted being anxious onto you.

"What the fuck do you mean you 'don't want to'?" Zack asked, scowling at you, the anger beginning to creep into his voice.

You took a deep breath, clenching your fist that was resting on your lap to maintain your resolve.

"I said what I said. You kicked me out and I'm over it."

At this point, Zack had fully realized that he can't control you anymore, which further irritated him.

"Whatever," he said, waving you off. "Just take your shit and leave."

"Gladly," you responded coldly as you began to get up. 

"I'm not driving you."

You stopped and looked back at him. You weren't that surprised by his comment, but you still felt a little off-put by his lack of remorse to just leave you stranded again.

"The buses around here aren't running this late."

"Sounds like a you problem."

You remembered this. If Zack got pissed at you and didn't get what he wanted from you, then no one was getting anything at all. 

"You really expect me to walk?" 

He shrugged.

"Or sleep on the streets until the buses are up. I don't really give a shit."

You felt your anxiety quickly turn into anger and frustration as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of the person responsible for all of your recent misfortunes, but what was currently happening was representative of all the bullshit that you had to deal with for three years.

"Fine," you said quietly as you headed for the door, not even bothering to grab your stuff from him. "You're a dick."

As you walked out the door, you felt your breathing quickly destabilizing.

Recently, the only person you had been regularly referring to as a dick was your grumpy roommate. However, after having this interaction with Zack, you realized that Zack was actually a dick and that Levi was nowhere close to it. It brought up a slight sense of guilt regarding your hostility towards your roommate. You would choose living with Levi over moving back in with Zack any day.

Reminiscing about your attitude towards your roommate immediately reminded you of him, and although you were still mad at him for his behavior earlier, you knew that you could at least trust him to not leave you stranded. 

As a result, you immediately pulled out your phone and shot him a quick text, asking if he could pick you up as you continued to navigate your way out of Zack's apartment complex.

~~~~~

The rain had already started pouring. There wasn't too much wind, but the rainfall was heavy, which would have made it even more impossible to walk home if you were forced into that decision. Instead, you were waiting for Levi to arrive, seeking shelter under the canopy of Zack's apartment building to stay dry.

You glanced up as you heard the front door open and saw that Zack came downstairs with the box of your belongings with the intention of tossing it all into the dumpster. You watched as all of your former stuff disappeared into the green container of garbage. 

When Zack saw you on his way back, he scowled at you.

"When I said sleep on the streets, I didn't mean here. Fuck off."

"You fuck off," you replied, matching his scowl. 

The two of you held a staring contest for a few minutes until you heard a car drive up out of the corner of your eye. A feeling of relief washed over you once you saw that it was Levi's. You could finally go home and forget this nightmare.

He had arrived faster than expected, and part of you knew that this was likely due to a combination of the situation that had occurred in January and how far out you currently were. Plus, at this point, he was probably more than ready to expect texts from you to ask him to pick you up. It had become a pattern, although you weren't entirely sure how you felt about that fact.

You did not include in your text message the reasoning as to why you were trapped at an apartment that was a 20-minute drive from campus, so you weren't too surprised when you saw a look of concern on Levi's face as he saw you scowling at who he was able to deduce as your ex-boyfriend.

"You'd really call anyone to pick you up, huh?" Zack said to you as you began to walk off. "You're fucking pathetic."

If you were the same person that you were when you were with him, then his insult might have had some merit. If this was a year ago, you really wouldn't have had anyone to call. You didn't have any reliable friends back then, and that's likely what Zack still believed to be the case now.

"He's my roommate, you asshole," you said as you grit your teeth, "and a much better one than you ever were."

Your last comment must have made something snap within Zack's psyche, as he immediately grabbed onto your wrist before you were able to walk further towards Levi's car. 

In the split second before you were forced to turn around to face Zack, you were able to see Levi's face transition from one of confusion to one of immediate concern as he began to move out of the car to see what was going on.

"What, I leave you for less than a year and you're already hoeing around with other men?" Zack scolded. "Why the fuck would you get a male roommate? Did you do this shit-"

"Just leave me alone, Zack!" you yelled back at him as you yanked your wrist back from him.

"You're fucking pathetic, _____. I'm giving you maybe another two weeks before you come crawling-"

"Do you ever shut up?" a third voice said.

You looked up and saw that Levi had walked over from the car after seeing the commotion. He held an irritated look on his face that was directed towards your ex-boyfriend, able to fully deduce the context of what was going on.

Zack was caught off-guard by your roommate coming out of the car to come to your defense. He was almost half a foot taller than Levi, but Levi's commanding presence took up all the space between them, making it so that it took Zack a few seconds longer than usual to come up with a retort.

Levi rolled his eyes at him as he turned to follow you after you began to storm towards the car, not paying particular attention to Zack, who had begun to open his mouth to speak again. 

Any word that came out of his mouth was unheard, although you couldn't tell if that was due to your own thoughts overwhelming you or if it was because of the rain and wind that was rapidly picking up into a full-fledged storm. 

Once you finally got into the car and shut the door, you buried your face in your hands as the tears finally flowed out from your eyes and down your cheeks, eventually collecting in the palms of your hands, only adding onto the chaotic whirl of thoughts that were running rampant in your head.

~~~~~

Levi remained silent as you continued to sob quietly in the passenger's seat, giving you time and space to process whatever the hell just happened.

You peeked through your fingers as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. With how frequently it was vibrating, you were already able to tell that it was Zack spamming you with text messages.

You glanced at your phone, opening the texts, although you were barely able to see with your tears clouding your vision. You vaguely saw a string of text messages of Zack calling you pathetic, a burden, a waste of three years of his life, and everything in-between. You clenched at your phone as you felt more tears gathering up in your eyes and you shakily navigated to his contact information to block him before tossing your phone into the back seat of the car.

After a few more minutes, you felt your breathing stabilize and you rubbed at your now-swollen eyes.

"I assume that's your shitty ex?" Levi finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you.

"Wonder how you figured that out," you grumbled with a sniffle.

"Tch," Levi said as he clenched his jaw, more than a little annoyed with the attitude that was attached to that response. "Why'd you have to choose the one night that I have to work an extra shift to pull this shit? How the fuck does you 'getting some air' translate into this?"

While Levi's grumpy attitude and snarky remarks were something you were usually used to and barely fazed by, given the fact that you were already really emotional and vulnerable from what had just happened with Zack made Levi berating you hurt much more than usual.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" you yelled out. "I didn't know who else to call. You could've said no."

Levi glanced at you for a moment. He found himself getting increasingly annoyed.

That wasn't the point. He wasn't annoyed because he had to come out to get you. That was the least of his concerns. What had concerned him more was what could have happened if he didn't come to get you. What annoyed him the most was how reckless you were and how you were never able to see that.

"Why did you even go to see him anyway? You said he's your ex? The one that was dragging you around all over the place and-"

"I don't know, okay?!" you yelled out again, feeling increasingly frustrated with every word that was coming out of Levi's mouth. "He just texted me and said we needed to talk and as usual I was dumb enough to listen to him. I don't even know what the hell I was looking for. The minute I got into his car, I was able to tell that he wanted to do something along the lines of getting back together and I was enough of an idiot to believe even for a second that it was genuine—and then I saw how pissed he got when I said no and he kicked me out all over again and I'm always, always, always making these stupid decisions and it's probably just a burden on everyone around me: Zack, you, my aunt—hell, probably even Petra and Oluo and-"

"Cut that out," Levi said in an attempt to cut off your rambling.

"-and my aunt was probably right in that I'm literally wasting my life getting a degree in something that might not even get me a guaranteed job. Literally every single decision I have ever made in my entire life has been a fucking disaster and I bet you can't fucking wait to get rid of me once summer arrives, because I'd be wanting to get rid of me, too! And-"

"God dammit, cut that shit out, _____!" 

The storm was pouring down on you full-force at this rate, almost as if it was mirroring how volatile your emotions were.

As soon as Levi snapped at you, you clenched your fists, nearly trembling with rage.

After a few seconds of saying nothing, you decided you had enough. You immediately went to undo your seatbelt, fumbling around a bit more than usual due to the shaking that you couldn't seem to control.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Levi asked as he noticed your movements. 

His eyes widened and he had to slam down on the brake pedal as he noticed you open the door to the car as he was still driving. 

Luckily, he wasn't going very fast in the first place due to the storm, but you still ended up stumbling out of the car, nearly falling straight down onto the soaked concrete.

He slowly came to a stop right next to you, leaning towards the passenger seat as the door still hung open.

You shot him a glare before turning around and beginning to walk away.

"Where the hell are you going in the middle of this storm?"

You stopped walking and clenched your fists as you faced him again. 

"Anywhere but here!" you shouted. "I'm sorry I made you come out all this way. I'll find a cheap motel to stay at or something if I'm really that much of a bother to you right now."

You turned towards no direction in particular and began walking again.

"_____, come back."

You glared at him again.

"So you can just berate me again? Fuck off."

You continued walking.

"You're such a dumbass."

You halted in your footsteps as he blatantly insulted you again.

"Excuse me?"

"I said what I said," he said, frowning at you. "Did you really think I'd come out all this way if I didn't want to?"

You matched his frown.

"Well, it sure sounds like it with how pissed you sound."

"Because you piss me off."

You threw your hands up in frustration.

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!"

Levi let out an exasperated sigh.

"Yeah, I'm pissed beyond belief and I'm still here. Now get the fuck back in the car before you get all soaked and make a mess all over the seat."

You glared at him for a few more seconds before mumbling a "fine" and reluctantly getting back into the car.

He drove in silence for a bit, bewildered at the fact that you almost ran off into the middle of nowhere during a raging storm without your phone. If that wasn't the definition of reckless, then he didn't know what was.

"You didn't have to come out just to pick me up," you mumbled again. "I know I texted you, but that doesn't mean shit."

"Tch, did you not hear me?" he said, slightly shaking his head at your repeated commentary. "I came because I wanted to."

He glanced at you before speaking up again.

"Get over yourself, you didn't force me to do shit."

His grip on the wheel tightened as he looked back towards the road.

"You're not special."

He heard your breath hitch at that last comment and his finger tapped on the wheel gently as he felt a very subtle hint of guilt creeping up in the back of his mind. 

You're not special.

That thought kept running through your mind. You knew that you weren't special. The chaos that was your life was pretty indicative of that. Yet, why did it hurt so much when it was him that said it?

You finally opened your mouth to speak again. Your voice was quiet, as if you had given up on fighting against that comment. You'd accepted it, whether you wanted to or not.

"Then why the fuck are you so pissed off?"

It took Levi a moment to figure out the best way to respond as he continued to glare at the road.

"I'm pissed because you're always putting yourself in these situations without thinking for yourself. You're always going alone to get shit-faced at a party or staying out late enough that you're forced to walk home, or getting into shitty situations with shitty people."

You didn't respond, trying to figure out how to interpret his words.

"I'm pissed because you keep putting yourself in danger."

Ah, you thought as you came to a conclusion over what he was trying to say. He was saying that you were too dumb or naïve to take care of yourself.

Whether that was actually true or not didn't matter to you—that's what was going through your head. No matter what Levi was actually trying to say, you had now settled on the idea that you were nothing more than a nuisance to him and that he felt some weird sense of responsibility for you. Similar to everyone else in your life, you were nothing but a burden to him.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

Levi slightly looked over at you, noting that you were getting caught up in your head from the events of today. He knew that he was at least partially responsible, yet he still never imagined that he'd find himself in this type of situation again. He was used to picking you up from random places at this point. He was fine with that. However, picking you up from your ex-boyfriend's in the middle of what could be interpreted as a violent confrontation was not something that he was expecting to have to deal with.

By the time you got home, you were shivering from standing out in the rain. Levi had given you his jacket to wear and it hung off of your shoulders as you got up out of the car. It had provided you some warmth, but your shivering wasn't going to resolve itself if you didn't change into some dry clothes. 

As you walked from the parking lot into the lobby of your apartment, you saw Levi pass you your phone, having completely forgotten that you tossed it to the backseat of the car after blocking Zack. You mumbled a quiet thanks as you put it into your pocket.

The two of you walked into your apartment and you noticed that literally nothing had been moved since earlier in the afternoon. All the stuff you were unpacking was left in place, despite the fact that the mess was likely driving Levi through the roof. You gripped on his jacket, an uncomfortable bubbling feeling rising up within you. It was just another inconvenience that you unintentionally threw onto him.

He flipped on the light switch, allowing you to properly see the mess that you had made. However, within the next 30 seconds, a crash of lightning lit up the room before all of the lights fell dark.

The power went out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Levi groaned as he tossed his keys onto the table. 

The night couldn't get much worse.

~~~~~

You let out an exhausted sigh as you slid down the wall across the hall from Levi. The two of you gathered next to the balcony doors for what little light peaked in through the blinds. It seemed that the power only went out for your apartment building and the street lights were still functional. There was a small candle lit in between the two of you. 

You had stumbled into your room and changed into a hoodie and a pair of loose pajama shorts. You had your hands tucked into your hoodie pocket as you looked over towards Levi with a blank expression, unsure of how to process the events of the day.

He was sitting with his back leaning against the wall with his legs out in front of him as he matched your expression. The two of you were quiet for a bit, simply listening to the rain. 

The entire room lit up as another flash of lightning cracked through the sky. 

You felt yourself flinch and tense up at the sudden sound. You weren't particularly afraid of storms, but you were significantly on edge due to the events of the day. Every sudden movement or sound made your heart skip a beat. Your mind was on overdrive.

"How was your break?" Levi asked. He had noticed your reactions to the storm. Initiating conversation, no matter how frustrated he was at you currently, would at least provide you with a distraction.

You gave him a weird look before freezing up again due to another lightning crash. You rapidly shook your head to try to shake off the tension.

"It was okay," you finally replied. "Traveling was more annoying than the trip was enjoyable—honestly kinda wish I just stayed here."

Levi grunted at that last comment without acknowledging or dismissing it, which made you frown.

"Which I guess would've ruined your break. I assume you just spent the entire break reading and writing?"

"Something like that," he mumbled. 

In all honesty, he probably would have also preferred it if you had stayed for break.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, resting your chin on them. No matter how much you tried, you couldn't get the events of the day out of your head.

"Lev', can I ask you something?"

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If you really didn't mind coming out, then why were you so pissed off?"

He blinked at you, not really expecting the question to be brought up again.

"I already told you."

"I don't believe you," you said with a frown. There had to be more. What he said and what he did was too contradictory for you to just accept without getting more information.

Levi gave you an annoyed scowl and clenched his jaw. After a moment, he parted his lips to speak again.

"Why did you go back to him?"

"What?" you asked, not expecting him to deflect your question with another question.

Levi looked you straight in the eye. He couldn't wrap his head around why you would've ever been involved with someone like Zack. A few months ago, he wouldn't give a single shit, but now that he's had a few months of knowing you, he legitimately could not understand why.

"Answer the question."

"Answer mine first," you immediately responded.

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Because you're always putting yourself in these shitty situations, _____," he said in an exasperated tone. "First, there was the thing with Floche, and now this. I can't even count the amount of times I've had to pick you up from somewhere and that's not even counting when I had to drive around the fucking city looking for you when you went out."

You fell silent, hugging your knees a bit tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm such a shitshow, Levi," you mumbled. "That shouldn't have to fall on you."

"Tch," Levi's eyebrows scrunched together into a frown. "Didn't I tell you to cut that shit out?"

"Cut what out?"

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he leaned forward and gently flicked your forehead. "That's not what made me mad."

A pout appeared on your face as you rubbed at your forehead, although you finally began to understand what it was that he was trying to say. He was pissed that you kept finding yourself in these situations, but he never thought it was because you couldn't take care of yourself. You were more than capable of it, which is why he's pissed that you still found yourself in those situations.

"Your turn," he said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"What?"

"I answered your question," he nodded towards you, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Now you answer mine. Why did you go back to him?"

You looked down, away from him as you contemplated what it was that you wanted to say in response.

Levi could tell that the topic was another sore spot. You had reacted similarly during Halloween when Hange brought up the topic of your parents.

"He..." you started speaking before trailing off.

"He what?"

You buried your face in your knees, clenching your fists as you pulled up those turbulent memories. You were more emotionally vulnerable than ever.

"He made me feel good about myself when nothing else would," you said, your voice muffled. "My parents had just died, my friendships at school were falling apart because I couldn't keep my shit together, and he just gave me whatever I wanted as long as..."

You trailed off again before lifting yourself back up and looking towards Levi, without really making eye contact.

"...as long as I gave him what he wanted, too. As long as I just shut up and listened to him, as long as I wore the clothes he wanted me to wear and presented myself the way he wanted me to present."

You recalled that Zack didn't even really let you hang out with anyone outside of school when you were dating, which heavily contributed to why you were so confused about navigating everything on your own now. 

Upon noticing Levi's lack of a response, you buried your face in your knees again as you felt the corners of your eyes heat up again from the tears building up.

"You probably think I'm pathetic, don't you?" you mumbled as your voice began to break up. The last thing you wanted to do was to start crying again, but the events of the day only added to any pre-existing thoughts of self-doubt and shame.

"Stupid? Yes," Levi began to speak. "Reckless? Yes. But pathetic?"

He paused as you looked up at him again.

"No, I don't."

You gave him a slight nod as you used the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away any stray tears that were threatening to fall.

"You don't need that douchebag's approval—or anyone's approval, actually—to be worthy of love and respect, _____."

You felt your cheeks immediately begin to flush up at his statement. You were also able to see out of the corner of your eye that Levi began to awkwardly shuffle in place, as if he just realized what he had said. 

"So quit pitying yourself like that. You're valued more than you think you are."

You pressed your chin into your knees and wrapped your arms around your knees in a way that hid your cheeks that were rapidly heating up. You've felt nothing but guilt and turmoil the entire night, but his comment made something else pop up deep within you. You didn't know how to describe it. You didn't know if it felt good or bad, but there was something there.

Levi watched as you struggled to navigate your own reaction to his comment. He tapped his finger against his leg as he held his hands in his pockets. He'd be lying if he said that there weren't also confusing feelings that were arising within him as well. He remembered pulling up to Zack's apartment and feeling slightly distressed upon seeing you with Zack—maybe even a little jealous, although he would never readily admit to that—before feeling incredibly panicked as soon as he saw Zack grab you. 

He could no longer deny that you were not the shallow undergrad that he thought you were when he first met you in June. You weren't just a student dredging their way through college. Life had thrown misfortunes at you left and right and you were forced to try to navigate through that on your own. There was more to you than you had ever let on.

"Just promise me something," he finally said, waiting for you to look up at him. "Just, try not to get yourself into those situations again."

You looked down again, wondering if his intention was to tell you that he didn't have time to help you anymore when the time came to it. However, he didn't give you much of a chance to dwell on that thought.

"It'd be a shame for me to see something happen to you."

You immediately felt your cheeks flare up again. It was clear that he cared at least to some extent and that itself was enough to get you to question everything around you, including the nature of your relationship with him.

"Storm's over," Levi mumbled as he began to stand up. As he was pushing himself up off the ground, the lights flickered back on.

He held his hand out towards you and helped you get up off the ground.

"Go take a shower and get warm since you decided to casually run off into the rain earlier," he said, motioning towards the bathroom, letting go of your hand. "You were a pain in the ass the last time you got sick."

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