#nobody wants to deviate from what they can understand

[isekyaaa]

Venti, Zhongli, and opposites. Venti, Zhongli, and opposites. I do not want to write Venti, Zhongli, and opposites.

[jimmyscanongf]

what are your headcanons for jimmy having an obsessive crush on the (preferably fem) reader (but not necessarily being a yandere about it)? do you think he would tell curly about it? i kinda wonder how jimmy would behave if he had the feelings of envy and admiration he does for curly but for a woman

hmmm jimmy obsessive crush, envy and admiration? horribly long rambling thoughts below 👇

i think you’d fall victim to the other end of dehumanization: youre Not Like Other Girls. total manic pixie dream girl. youre on a pedestal so high that if you deviate from his image of you even a little, only pain awaits you below.

it’s less about your eyecatching style and more about your attitude. (though having a unique look about you certainly helps to catch his attention). i think that if you were like curly; high achieving, successful and attractive with little (to jimmy’s eyes anyways) effort, his envy would probably just mix with hatred. what the fuck does he need another goody two shoes picture perfect reflection of his own deep and terrible inadequacy in his life for anyways? and this one’s a fucking girl, to add insult to injury!

but say you were a little more like him, shitty childhood, rough start to life, downtrodden, broke, not overly successful, life comes harder to you than most others, maybe not the most attractive (i mean i think hes shallow enough that you would still have to be somewhat good looking), or even attractive but with an otherwise offputting aspect to you (maybe like, the Autism Look, or some alternative style that doesn’t try overly hard to remain conventionally attractive), cant really find love. and all that with like, a genuine intelligence, a genuine potential, still working towards a good life for yourself against all the odds, he might find himself attracted to you.

the thing that would make him envy you would be your attitude, your outlook on your situation. because say all the above about you were true, sure, he can relate to that, but if you had an easygoing attitude about it? not stressed about your status, not pressured to be more than what you are, not scrambling and striving to prove you’re worth something, just rolling with shit as it comes, stand up and dust yourself off when you fall, enjoy the good things in security when they come. not grasping desperately for every little bit of control that comes your way. yeah hes envious. here he is, beat down by life, mired in his own self loathing and feelings of powerlessness so deep he can barely see it himself, so deep that he hurts and steps on every single person around him trying to claw his way out, and you breeze through every awful thing life throws at you, a little scratched and bruised, but you continue merrily on, trying again and again. he wants what you have. he wants your fucking secret. how, HOW do you do it?! (and remember how unreliable he is as a narrator, so whether you’re actually so unaffected underneath his perception is another thing 🤔)

what would make him obsess over you is your understanding nature. if you were kind to him. say he says something scathing and hurtful on impulse due to his own insecurity, you don’t necessarily have to be a pushover about it, but if he sees the words roll off of you… and the next day you come back again. here he is, a complete dickhead, weird and unpleasant to be around, and you reaching out anyways cause, hey, you know everyone has a reason for the way they are, nobody is born an asshole, everyone has triggers and limits, everyone wants connection deep down, and everyone has the capacity for kindness. this outlook will kind of, stun and confuse him. cause girls usually tell him to go fuck himself when he acts like a piece of shit. i really think he might soften up a bit, we only see him in his absolute worst moments but he can’t be that awful to be around 100% of the time, there has to be something, like a sense of humour, maybe he’ll help you out with something (if he thinks he’ll get the same in return at some point) maybe he knows your likes and interests cause it makes it easier to get what he wants from people.

what would really seal the deal is if you were able to see and strike deep into the heart of his insecurity, and try to soothe him. opening up, with vulnerability, about your struggles. laying out some genuine commonality between the two of you and then telling him, with the utmost sincerity, that he doesn’t have to be defined by his past. that he’s valuable for the simple fact that he exists. that he doesn’t have to fight to prove himself, that he is already worthy.

and oooh jimmy is a man who is incapable of believing that any of those things can come from inside, that they are inherent to him. (he literally actually consumes a part of curly to try and subsume curly’s good traits into him.) you made him feel worthy and now he needs you, needs to have you, needs to consume you and make you a part of his life, a part of him! because he cannot possibly be valuable and worthy without you there to believe it. its just not possible. for all he tries to be otherwise, he’s a deep dark void inside and he knows it, so he needs you to fill him up with your goodness.

and you guys are like, just friends at this point right? but now he thinks about you all the fucking time and his eyes are always on you and he’s daydreaming about stupid sappy shit like you holding his hand, pushing you up against the wall and kissing you, he’s seen you smile at him but now he thinks about you smiling at him and it makes his heart palpitate. he barely even thinks about you sexually because you’re so pure to him, you’re his madonna, not a whore. but yeah. he’s watching you constantly, taking notes, plotting, scheming to make you his. cause he knows he can’t just swoop in and demand it, or even force it, he knows that’s a burnt bridge waiting to happen. he wants to make you want him. he wants to really seal the deal, and he feels like he really, genuinely has a chance. he just has to manipulate you juuuuust right.

i’m not sure if he would tell curly. because on one hand, curly is way more charismatic and better at romance and picking girls up than he is, so i can see him coming to curly for advice. hey man, help me out here, how do i win this chick over? on the other hand, he feels really weak for you, he doesn’t just want a fling to fuck or eye candy to hang off his arm, he wants you to fill him up because hes so fucking empty, and the last thing he wants is for curly to think he’s weak like that. and on the other other hand, he wants to keep you and curly far far apart because like, you’re just like Jimmy except better in every conceivable way and he’s paranoid curly might realize how hopeless he is, then steal you and drop him.

once he starts wanting you the change is noticeable to you and to curly, and everyone else around him. he’s suddenly nicer and more pleasant? he just seems to be in a better mood all around. he smiles more, its kinda nice. he jokes around. he’s more thoughtful about your wants, kind of pathetically fumbles his way through trying to meet your needs but hey, he never even tried before so that’s a win right? he cleans up a little bit. goes less time between hair washes, shaves more, picks up some drugstore cologne. fresh fit. he splurges money he doesn’t really have trying to attract your attention. he still can be a dickhead but now you can see him trying to proactively make it right (he looks absolutely pained and strained doing so) (also he does this for you and you exclusively). hes trying so goddamn fucking hard to act like the kind of person he thinks you’ll want to love. he’s giving you compliments that have you taken aback, giving you encouragement, giving you little gifts. hey i thought you’d like this. he looks away while giving them to you. is he blushing???

eventually he might even ask you out. but what happens next is up to you. you don’t know this, but if you reject him, you’re in for a hellish ride. because he’s not giving up on getting you, and NOW hes gonna be a yandere about it.

[morisbasement]

oh and in celebration of the emerald wirch arc anime coming out next year, i have some tips for the new black butler fans!! or old if they apply to you lol

ALWAYS read the manga first.

the anime deviates so far from the manga that season 2 can't even be considered canon. im not even joking here. after the second half of s1, the animators just pulled shit out of their rears and called it a day. they didn't pull it together until book of circus, but to anyone who had watched the anime before reading the manga, the story made zero sense. i watched the series three times trying to understand it but it wasn't anything but crack until i read the manga.

if you can't buy the manga, read it on mangakakalot.com manganelo or mangareader.to, but PLEASE read it before watching.

sebaciel is (somewhat) canon, heavily implied at times, but so are lots of ships, so for the love of god please don't hate on shippers

yana toboso, the writer, has admitted that kuroshitsuji was originally intended to be a yaoi, but her publishers warned her against it. (← im told that's a rumor) there were still some sebaciel-esque scenes in the manga, so be warned! but there are also other implied ships (which is basically the entirety of s2), so suffice to say there are bound to be lots of ship wars. please don't turn the kuroshitsuji fandom into another mha fandom 😭

if you're sensitive to proship content, especially adult × child, STEER CLEAR of black butler.

while an argument may be made that it's not technically a proship since pedophilia isn't a crime in japan or since it's a human × nonhuman, therefore age gap rules aren't as cut and dry as they would be otherwise, sebastian is still portrayed as an adult and ngl it can be kind of triggering for victims of this kind of thing, and just icky in general if you don't know to expect it.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pay heed to the content warnings, not the actual rating.

some streaming services say that kuroshitsuji is tv14. TRUST ME. it's not. here's a full list of content warnings:

severe violence

lots of sexual themes including rape, not once but TWICE (in the anime, only once in the manga) by sebastian, and pedophilia

intense gore

there is a character who is somewhat minorly important who is a lolicon (duke whatever his name was)

deals with themes including cults, rejection of the christian faith, demons, rituals, supernatural phenomena, and generally disturbing stuff. for crying out loud a TWELVE YEAR OLD kid has summoned a demon servant, is a major underworld crime god, and has survived some major cult shit.

language is pretty bad

cults

arson

murder

murder

murder

mafia/underworld crime/organized crime

organized extreme abuse/ritual abuse, mind control, organized abuse, etc. is a MAJOR theme. it's basically the precursor to the entire series and is heavily discussed and shown. please please please don't get into it if you're triggered by that, ESPECIALLY if you're a victim/potentially a victim and healing. nobody would want you to uncover memories or harm yourself because of the series. stay safe!!!

one of the character's main things is he's basically obsessed with stepcest (lao)

lao is also a drug dealer

oh yeah, drugs and drugs and drugs and drugs and–

arranged marriages for kids (ciel and lizzy)

the second season (say what you will about it but i enjoyed it) had a LOT of torture and mindbreak over some dumb shit and was generally really really disturbing, objectively more so than the first season. we're talking waterboarding (i think is what it's called? correct me NICELY if im wrong) and making the mc's relive their trauma to achieve a certain goal.

also the second season deals with twice as much pedophilia, arson, demons, and murder since the second mc (alois trancy) is basically ciel phantomhive but blonde and a lot gayer (olé!)

stalking

lots and lots of murder

it's a horror series, what do you expect

both explicit and implicit sex scenes aplenty

manipulation, mindbreak, and abuse

there's a whole jack the ripper arc and it is MESSY

it's bad at the start and only gets worse! please please please only get involved with kuroshitsuji if you can handle that!

both the manga and anime are ongoing, so don't treat it as a one and done!

yana paused production of the manga to work on a game called twisted wonderland (edit: and apparently to focus on bb too? dunno how that works) , but more chapters and arcs are expected, and the series is far from over despite starting over a decade ago! i reread and rewatch every now and then to stay updated (and because it's a great series)! while i realize that can be a bit of a task, trust me when i say it's worth it!!

lastly, have fun with it!!!

kuroshitsuji fandom has been dying. REVIVE IT!! engage with fan works! cosplay! talk to other fans! make friends! convert people to the dark side!! be down bad!! be weird, be cringe!!! do whatever as long as it isnt toxic!!!

[writing-whenever-whatever]

We’ll be ok sweetheart- thank you for being my hero 

Eddie Munson x reader 

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11

Masterlist 

Summary: battle must commence we’re ready for the fight little was anyone expecting the losses that they would end up with. 

Warning: death, injury, memories, sadness, graphic imagery, blood. Sorry this is sad but not the ending xx

———————————————————————

As we travel back towards the trailer part everything is eerily tense we sit gathered together weapons in hand prepared for battle in silence my hand gently holds onto eddies squeezing it tightly he looks down at it giving it a small squeeze in response before looking away. I can tell he’s scared he’s anxiously chewing the skin on his lips as I fidget in my seat watching as we edge closer and closer to potential doom. 

We stop off at the creel house first max lucas and Erica leaving the van “ wait I think y/n should go too” Eddie looks at Steve his eyes wide and full of worry “ no Ed’s I’m not leaving you” I snap “ we need all we’ve got Eddie she’s staying with us” Robin adds looking at him with a small look of pity in her eyes, I look out at max “ good luck sweetie see you on the other side” I look out at her as she gives me a nod and a smile closing the door to the van watching as it drives off I wave to her as she slowly walks towards the house finally entering it as we turn out if view. 

We continue driving till we find a clearing in the woodlands close by. Nancy stands pacing back and forth “ I want to go through this one more time” she says looking across our nervous faces “ phase one” she says “ we wait for Erica in the playground. She will alert us when Max and Lucas are ready.” Robin says looking at Nancy as she nods “ phase2 “ “ max distracts vecna she’ll put him in his trance “ Steve adds “ 3” “ me Eddie and Dustin will scare the bat away and keep them distracted from you and the others” I say looking at Nancy as she lets out a sigh “ then 4 “ “ we go to vecnas bat free lair and flambé” Robin smiles shaking the bottle of fuel in her hand. 

“ good we’ve got it” I look at Nancy “nobody moves to the next phase till we’ve all copied” she pauses looking across at everyone “ nobody deviate from the plan no matter what” we all nod in agreement before exiting the van for a final time making our way to mine and eddies trailer. 

Steve Nancy and Robin enter first soon followed by me Eddie and Dustin we quickly enter the upside down when Steve turns to us “ hey if anything goes south I want all of you to evacuate “ he instructs looking across our faces “ of course “ I smile looking at him “ don’t worried Steve I have these boys under control “ I smirk teasingly “ just no funny business please there’s no point trying to be hero’s” he adds looking down at me “ yeh we understand “ “ yeh look at us we’re not hero’s “ Eddie says as Steve begins to walk away he stops him again “ hey Steve make him pay” he looks at him nodding as he turns again finally walking out into the distance. 

———————————————————————

When we reenter the trailer I sit on the floor while Eddie and Dustin walk into his room looking around “ babe come see this” Eddie calls out making me jump up rushing towards the room to see the overgrown bedroom and there in the center his pride and joy, his electric guitar “ it’s if she was made for another dimension “ he smiles his hand running over the strings of the guitar “ she’s beautiful Eds” I smile walking towards him as he pulls it off the wall holding her in his arms. “ she shall make the most amazing distraction” he smirks turning round to Dustin “ you ready for the first inter dimensional metal concert in the history of the world“ his smile as wide as ever “ I was born ready” Dustin beams back at him . 

He walks back out the room pushing past me slightly his hand tightly clutching his guitar “ Eddie “ I complain following close behind him grabbing his arm as he turns to mr he holds my head in his hands “ you ready for this sweetheart “ he looks down at me his eyes burning into me as I lean in kissing him passionately “ I’m ready” I say quietly my hands trembling at my sides as he lets me go finally exiting the trailer.

Eddie and Dustin climb onto the trailer while I stay down on the ground the walkie talkie in hand waiting for the signal as they set up the speakers and Eddie braces himself his knuckles turning white with how tightly he’s clutching onto his guitar 

“ I know you can do this baby” I look up at him like I did all those years ago in the hide out watching him and his band perform his guitar skills took my heart then and never let it go sending me on a trip I would never return from. 

“ signal has been spotted move onto phase three” Robin speaks through the speaker as I look up at them “ Copy that phase three “.

“ god I hope this works” I mutter quietly as Eddie starts playing his guitar putting his whole soul into this performance. I can feel my heart thrumming in my chest as I watch him then noticing the bats flying over coming towards us “ it’s working” I shriek up to them as Eddie continues to head bang so focused on his art as they get closer and closer. 

“ quick get in” I shout as they jump down running back into the house both of them loosing their shit “ that was so metal” Dustin shouts both of them jumping around in the hall as I stare out the window at the bats hoarding the trailer thier screeches so loud it makes me feel weak and nauseous” something isn’t right” I mutter quietly turning round to Eddie and Dustin “ this isn’t right” I repeat starting to pace back and forth the scraping and scratches at the windows drilling its way into my head causing me to fall down covering my ears. 

“ whoah sweetheart “ Eddie rushes to me his hand resting on my shoulder as he sees my nose start to bleed “ this isn’t right he knows they are coming” I look up at him my hands trembling more “ what do you mean he knows” Eddie looks down at me his face soft “ I need to get them more time” I rush back up to my feet “ what no y/n what are you doing are you crazy” Dustin grabs my wrist pulling me back as I struggle violently 

“ no no no” my eyes seem to fog over as I struggle more suddenly the creaking starts to come from above we all stop staring upwards “ they’re on the roof” Eddie mutters following the noise as Dustin follows close behind walking towards a covered vent “ they’re can’t get in can they “ Dustin asks turning to look at me as a bat plunges through its fangs baring and hissing loudly as both boys stab at it screaming loudly all I do is stare up at it as Eddie plugs the hole using his shield.

He stands back panting to catch his breath “ holy shit” he stares up at it “ there are more vents” i mutter quickly turning to eddies room slamming the door shut before the room gets infested with bats. “ good thinking” Eddie rests his hand on my shoulder again as i look up at him my smile falling as the door sounds like it’s gonna break “ go go go” i shout as Dustin starts to climb the rope returning back to our world i stand there pushing Eddie towards the rope next my sword in hand “ go Eddie “ i bark at him as he stands there staring as the door starts to break he clambers half way ip the rope as the door breaks he drops back down cutting the rope standing by my side as i swing at each bar splitting them in half killing as many as i can while he quickly join me while Dustin shouts begging us to retreat to come back. 

Suddenly I grab eddies hand pulling him outside we start running the bats following close behind their fangs exposed loudly hissing as they fly swarming us in a cloud of wings and teeth I turn back swinging more attacking more letting out a guttural scream as I collapse down to the floor millions of bats sinking their teeth into my body ripping chunks of flesh I can hear Eddie shouting in the background hitting them pulling them off me with force sobs escaping him as he pulls me up onto his chest holding me tightly in his arms my blood drenching his clothes as my breath quivers my eyes looking up at him through heavy eye lids. 

“ did I do good did I get them more time” I mutter quietly my voice shakey “ you did so well baby so fucking well now please stay with me I can’t loose you” he sobs his hands applying pressure to my torso as Dustin runs over shouting our names “ y/n Eddie “ he stops in his tracks “ shit” he stares at me “ thank you for being my hero “ i look up at Eddie my hand tightly clutching his as he shakes his head “ how can i be a hero if I can’t save you” he stutters his voice trembling “ you stayed by my side no matter what” i fade out my eyes turning glassy my body falling limp in his arms.  Eddie lets out a scream sobbing “ NO FUCK NO” he shouts trying to bring me back doing cpr breathing air into my lungs doing anything he can as dustin pulls him away hugs him tightly “ she’s gone Eddie I’m so sorry” he sighs holding him as he cries eventually pulling him away from my corpse leaving me there alone. 

[cintiri]

I have a question to ask about PIDW lore. Why does Shen Jiu, an ostensibly intelligent peak lord of the strategy peak, make so many stupid ass decisions?

Obviously the narrative reason for this is villain IQ drain via airplanes shitty writing. Unfortunately, SJ is not immune to the stupid beam. But for the in-setting reason, why?

I propose brain damage.

Okay, no wait, hear me out. The encounter with Liu Qingge in the Lingxi Caves was fucking bad. It's heavily implied that Shen Jiu tried to save Liu Qingge, but Qi deviated in the process. He already had messed up spiritual veins, and was probably still being actively attacked when he Qi deviated as well, and when Liu Qingge died, there was nobody to help Shen Jiu with his Qi deviation.

So he had to deal with it. Alone. And Shen Jiu is not the type to seek out post deviation medical care.

With this, it's very likely that he sustained some kind of damage to both his mind and spirit. A pretty common side effect of brain damage can be increased agitation and anger, as well as loss of rational thought, particularly when the frontal cortex is damaged, which because he doesn't seem to have any physical changes, I will assume that was it.

Meanwhile, he is also beginning to have more and more frequent Qi Deviations.

This begins to explain several of his questionable behaviors, which while they do dunk on Luo Binghe, which is in character, are also VERY BAD strategic moves.

A. The Demon Invasion.

Shen Jiu had won the first round. Liu Mingyan had lost the second round. No help or backup was coming. Why the hell would Shen Jiu send out his shittiest disciple who he was actively sabotaging at the time to fight the third match? As far as Shen Jiu knew, that was a guaranteed loss.

All that the loss would do is lose face for Cang Qiong, which would inevitably be pinned on him. Shen Jiu should have known that. But he did it anyways. Why? Because Liu Qingge was dead and everything hurt, and that little idiot who looked just like that idiot war god in the moment, stubborn and determined, wouldn't stop staring at him, and he wanted to scream.

He wished he could just tear the child's eyes out. Or maybe the demons could do that for him.

B. The Endless Abyss

You cannot tell me a Shen Jiu in his right mind would not have killed Luo Binghe's ass THOROUGHLY. He is not the type to leave death up to chance. Even with the brain damage, that probably would have just made him cut Luo Binghe into sashimi rather than shove him into the Abyss.

Unless he was Qi Deviating and barely knew what was happening. Why didn't he tell the sects he killed a demon? Because Shen Jiu didn't see a demon. All he saw was a red blur, and a boy who looked a little too much like Qiu Jianluo, and all he could do was get that beast away from him.

C. Ning Yingying

So, Ning Yingying's accusations.

Why did she do that? Literally why? I think it's because Ning Yingying wouldn't stop asking questions, where did A-Luo go, what happened to him Shizun? Where is his sword? Where is his body?

Ning Yingying would think that, as per usual, she is safe from Shen Jiu's rage. But Shen Jiu is two major Qi deviations with no help down the hole and has simply kept digging, and is starting to lose it.

Ning Yingying wouldn't know how to handle no longer being the peaks spoiled little mistress. And maybe, in Shen Jiu's mind, it's better to teach her how cold the world can be. She's too fragile, too naive. He has always been good at breaking fragile things.

Ning Yingying watched Luo Binghe struggle under Shen Qingqiu's wrath for so long. Sure, she felt bad for him, but she didn't understand. Not until now.

She doesnt have it as bad as he did. Not even in the same ballpark, really. But it was enough that when Luo Binghe returned, she ran to him for help. And he told her that nobody listens to cries of abuse. They will just call it discipline. They just call it his right.

But there's something else she can cry wolf for. Something Luo Binghe can't. And then Luo Binghe will have his revenge, and Ning Yingying will be free.

Or just locked in Luo Binghe's harem instead. Who's to say?

TLDR, I think a lot of the dumb ass 40iq scum villain behavior comes from getting his shit rocked by Liu Qingge and one too many Qi Deviations.

[creepricot]

talk about your five favourite headcanons for any/all of the papas and/or ships, i wanna hear u YAP m'lord go off

oh have i got Headcanons... this ended up turning more into larger emeritus lore and world building lol, but i have been ITCHING to talk about these

primo's 13 incher being explained by him having a phallo cock. he underwent surgery quite late in life; he just reached a point of thinking "well, i've survived this long, i deserve something fun", and so. he just had fun with it. he would 100% love to casually show it off and talk about it. this is probably my fav headcanon, straight up

not papa-related, but the ghouls do not have physical forms (at least on this earthly plane). rather, they appear as smokey/hazy spirits that can only make themselves known by possessing objects. they do not speak any language humans could understand and most likely never will, but they can produce enough of a melody to pass their noises off as background vocals. it would be better shown through era 1 + 2 ghoul outfits since they have a more draping shape, but if you took off those masks, there'd be nothing underneath it to greet you.

the only reason that copia is able to see the ghosts of his parents is due to that signature white emeritus eye. it's genetic and passed along through their bloodline, and nobody without it is able to sense them (or any other emeritus ghosts, for that matter). don't ask me about the logistics of how it began with sister punching nihil that one time, we don't think about canon here.

with that being said, i much prefer the idea of the emeritus bloodline being something that has spanned for hundreds of years, traditions passing down from papa to papa; they still inhabit and maintain the original castle that the first papa had lived and died in.

the role of being a papa is not something that anyone really wants. it's something that is mainly passed down as a rite of passage, something that they know they are destined for and must take on eventually. as devoted as the papas are to their faith, it only dawns on them after they've already began their papacy that this is only a means of the ministry using them. they are not the ones in control-- they sing songs they did not write and recite scripts they do not fully mean -- and rather, they are being used as the minsitry's puppets to further their goal of worldwide satanic subjugation. while the papas do get to reap the benefits of fame and living expensive, lavish lifestyles during their papacy, at the end of the day, they are ultimately only a mouthpiece for the ministry's messaging, and the very second a papa begins to stray from what the ministry wants and is unable to achieve what was set out from them, they lose the position, are discarded, and replaced with the next best kin. and of course, the money they accumulated was never theirs -- it belonged to the ministry. so its not like they can pack up and move and continue this solo. they only stick by the ministry out of necessity, as they have their entire lives. it's all they've known, anyway.

bonus hc, but sexual deviations are not looked down upon. how one chooses to explore and express themselves through their body is seen as a unique choice, something that is praised. in fact, it's actively celebrated when a child reaches puberty and begins to masturbate and take interest in sex. sex is seen as something without moral weight to it; it's seen as a way of social connection, as a way of learning things about yourself with the presence of others. sex can be as casual as a conversation, or it can be as intense as a proclamation of love. it's not shameful or embarrassing to have sexual desires, no matter how "out there" they may be-- so long as everyone involved consents to it. this is why incest is not necessarily looked down upon either, depending on how far it goes.

bonus bonus hc, but i personally do not really like the gardener primo idea. if we Have to go by "old man activities", i think he would be more of a bookworm, or a record collector, or both. he does not strike me as a man that would spend much time engaging with nature for a love of nature; he prefers to be hidden away, surrounded by piles of texts, left to his own devices in the dark comfort of his home.

[smalpin]

bitches will be like "ouggggougggohuhh ouhhghh ou this character makes me sob and writhe ourrggg the entire course of her life abruptly changed one day into an environment with an unclear host unclear prize unclear goal and everything and she starts off all alone because shes recovering from solitary confinement as a consequence of her past actions that forced her to realize that she has no friends like plain zero and needs to get some which turns out is extremely extremely truly difficult for her to do because shes not normal and doesn't know how to do anything right and takes everything personally and the horrifyingly new and confusing environment presented by what should be her home isnt helping

and since nobody wants her fr fr then every time she speaks up about literally anything that deviates the norm or makes any stupid mistake then the society brutally strips her of her ability to express herself stripping her hopeless and it gets so bad to the point that for simply not being able to easily fit in with everyone else that first her limbs are torn off and then shes peer pressured into lowering her confusion into crumbs but shes still fucked over anyways because everyone in her team who she thought was going to be her friend leaves her suddenly for a stupid reason that wont benefit them

and the moment she speaks up on such bullshit shes torturously agonizingly trapped in the most horrifying living state imagineable (cant see cant speak cant physically feel or express anything forced to reside in her scary mind while she has to listen to everyone call her useless and deplorable) and then they buried her alive inside the very earth itself as they continuously bully amd mock and ignore her relentlessly throughout the ENTIRE SEASON

(and even when she magically comes back from that horrific trial and the first thing she does when come back from the earth is let out the anger and agony of her mind that she was forced to hold in for so long specifically at the first two people she can blame for the shit she went through mentally (and physically) but then turns out everyone still hates her and nobody actually truly cares about the horrors of what she went through at all (because they all PUT HER THROUGH THAT (JUST FOR BEING DIFFERENT))

so now she's grown really bitter and stubborn and continues to take literall everything personally because she just HAS to be just like thatTM and at this point she's visibly going insane she needs help she doesnt feel loved in the slightest she hates herself to bits she needs therapy she needs this horrific game to end as soon as possible she has harrowing trauma that debilitates everything she does and crippling anxiety and shes angry and hopeless everything that she does is still wrong and she will never escape the horrors of her mind no matter how much she tries and she gets worse and wants to die more every single day)

but deep down under the vast endless sky of all of those horrific vile emotions there is a solid unmoving ground which remains as the fact that she will always have and retain that mind and heart of a child, and that childlike being remains in her vocabulary even today as well as her thought processes and anxiousness and easiness to get lonely and angry like a small child

no matter how hateful and bitter she grows she is still a child who just wanted to feel free from the beginning

no matter how much "love" she instinctively registers as fake and pushes away she is still a child who wanted to feel worthy of something even if it meant giving up being worthy of the very world she roamed in

she will never be like anyone else she will never fit in with the others who understand and fit in and have friends who stay and like them and are happy

she doesnt know why she's like this she doesn't know why she's worthless and hideous and unlovable and no matter how much she tries to give up convincing her or anyone else otherwise or any other method of freeing herself from the hurt that comes with these facts

it will always hurt

she will always be different nobody will ever understand her

and she will always feel like this."

..

and then she looks like this

[megamozartx]

Nobody asked but I wanted to do a quick post about why I end up talking about Piano and Bass a lot, or "the salty Wily twins" as I call them.

I'm still brand new to the fandom so all the concepts are extremely novel to me even when everyone else knows about them. I liked the idea of there being a Wilybot sister and figured nothing is being done with her in a canon capacity (Ariga's reasons for scrapping her made sense, of course) so I'll grab her. Why not.

Some notes for my interpretation of Piano:

SWN 002 is her serial number.

Directly referred to as/considered Bass's sister/twin (his original name is Forte and a "fortepiano" is an instrument in addition to both words separately being note indicators, "forte" for "loud" and "piano" for "soft".)

It took both of them a while to accept this as they absolutely did not like each other at first; they came to a silent understanding over time though neither communicated this with each other directly. Piano assumes Bass despises her as he looks down on every other Wily creation (except Treble).

She's wrong, Bass is just tsundere, but it did annoy him that she came across as obedient to Wily and lacking in personality initially, not to mention being created to control him. Nobody can do that!

Nonetheless, he privately calls her "Ann" when speaking to Treble and worries about her overworking herself; he also gets mad at Wily when he derides her because he views the old man as a temper throwing whiner that makes nothing but mistakes and excuses while Piano always works hard.

Piano ends up calling Bass the gamut of "imbecile" and the like. His constant drive to fight does still concern her, especially since--despite Piano stating she has no intention of trying to control her brother--his recklessness worries her.

As Mr. Ariga conceptualized, she was made as a counterpart to Bass (and a copy of Roll) to watch over/control him. She has no weapons.

However, deviating from the concept, Piano refused to do her duties of controlling Bass, her refusal angered Wily. She's also not weak, she's actually freakishly strong, but this isn't used for her intended purpose, she uses it to move furniture while cleaning. She dislikes fighting and violence, generally speaking, and will only engage with it when she deems it necessary. She has no issues with hurting a human and has even threatened Wily a few times to get him to back off.

There was a mention of her using "gadgets". I don't know what that would have looked like, but I've chosen to incorporate it as she uses tools more often than not. She's very intelligent and advanced in machine building/fixing. Wily probably didn't intend that (but when does anything he intends ever work out).

Design intention was likely maid, robotic but polite speech patterns. Disregarded this. Made her a monotone goth girl instead. Very soft spoken but blunt in speech, is polite when she thinks it's necessary. She doesn't often express her emotions openly; smiling, laughing, open anger, sadness--none of that.

Her design is based on gothic lolita fashion. I tweaked a lot of the colors on there since I wanted a more gothic color scheme.

Her protocol involves looking after the household, that includes other Wily creations and people she views as guests. Somehow this led to her speaking to and befriending Rock. She likes him, he's nice, she flips between calling him "Rock" or "Megaman" depending on the situation. Rock likes her, she's nice, he calls her "Ani" (said like "Annie").

It is not romantic or intended to be, they are children, they talk about Roblox or something.

Bass really doesn't like that they're friends because it detracts from his rivalry with Megaman(!!!!!); sometimes he somewhat acts almost like a protective older brother but mostly he's awful since he basically (whether he means to or not) keeps her from making friends.

Bass's hair is black, hers is purple, don't worry about it.

This timeline is very messed up actually because when Wily is working on Zero, Piano takes care of and befriends him. Don't worry about it.

Since she's gentle and soft-spoken (as in she doesn't yell at or insult him or make demands of him constantly), Zero bonds with her fast and ends up becoming defensive of her when he perceives a threat. Zero in the present does not remember her. Don't worry about it.

There is no real happy ending here, Piano is left behind in the end to look after Zero (as is her function) and open his capsule when it's time. Her systems fail after this happens, so she doesn't know what comes next.

[mellowwhumps]

oc introductions!

heyo! now that i’m finally done with june of doom (which was meant to serve as a basic version of this) here’s all my oc introductions! i cannot for the life of me make it sound interesting but hopefully my future content compensates for that…roles are listed from least to most, but may deviate at times since i love role swap!

i’ll make picrews or coloured references like literally any normal creator. someday. soon. (lies)

side note: their personalities do change a lot between AUs since yknow. choices influence actions so yeah!! same yet different love that…as another side not everything i tag as simply “AU'' is just the main one i usually use since that’s the most developed

i really recommend checking their toyhouses since it goes into a lot more detail :3

haley !! 

toyhouse (both original and AU)

quotelist + more in elowen’s quotelist

roles: whumpee-whumper (ex), caretaker

my scrunkly scrimblo…in a way i’d describe him as half living weapon. why half you may ask? because for the first half of his life he was treated as a human and then abruptly in the second half it just. changed. no more nice words. conflict between his ‘home’ and a neighbouring kingdom peaks, war comes, everything ends, though i mostly don’t focus on the war part haha. this guy knows he’s meant to be wielded and used, but just how much of a weapon is he? 

personality wise, he’s not a talker. despite his generally serious demeanour, he’s a much nicer person to be with than the one who raised him, caring about others because he thinks the world should just be kinder, and maybe if he cares enough he can repent for it all.

for the most part he shifts personalities quite widely between aus…

——————

halcyon !!

toyhouse (unfinished)

roles: whumpee (ex), caretaker

from the aforementioned neighbouring kingdom! she serves the queen as the captain of the royal knights, yknow the drill, there’s war and they started it. she’s the type of person who believes in what’s right but also won’t hesitate to rethink if her beliefs are wrong. her story is mostly about dealing with all the hard stuff like Feelings and the Aftermath because nobody likes doing that ew.

she’s trying her best. i respect this behaviour

——————

elowen !!

toyhouse (AU)

quotelist

roles: caretaker turned (reluctant) whumper mostly but no fixed role

the guy that took haley in yeah. he cares. a lot. but sometimes his job matters more. he’s mostly there to drive the plot and then he literally just. dies. but that’s not the end is it? he lives on in haley’s memories, forever an enigma. their relationship is so complicated i wouldn’t do it justice in a short introduction…he’s alive and well in the AU and very relevant though

yes his intentions are good. yes he’s coping with it in the only way he knows how. he does genuinely care. he unwavers in his belief that he wants to give everyone a better life, wants to help more people than he possibly ever could. unfortunately, every decision has its downsides.

——————

ria !!

toyhouse

roles: whumpee (mostly emotionally i swear)

look. okay. i get to use at least one child for my found family agenda. once again i focus on the aftermath rather than anything else so it's mostly emotional whump

rogue. gremlin. she bites (sometimes) (affectionately) but she’s just dealing with how she simply is. she’s like the glue holding it all together as best as she possibly can, because she can’t even come close to understanding how bad it all was and sometimes that’s just better. can and will go through the five stages of grief before admitting that she cares and actually isn’t as independent as she thinks she is.

——————

ida !!

toyhouse (AU)

tiny quotelist (w. yuuto)

roles: whumpee, caretaker, whumper (rarely written)

right now i only have the AU version of him! his story’s about identity and somewhat also breaking free. oh and also semi-doomed yaoi but that’s not the problem here. he has a prosthetic arm and heart but that is 100% not his entire personality and just a few of the burdens he carries!! personality-wise he Does Not Care about restrictions but is also the furthest thing from impulsive when it’s most needed

i’m on a roll so this guy definitely gets more development in my writing than whatever i say here so!! check him out

——————

ibys !!

toyhouse (AU)

roles: whumpee, caretaker

right now i also only have the AU version of them although that and their current design might change someday…his themes are similar to haley (fate + past vs present) but they could not be more different in story and personality despite both being living weapons!! wanted to try a seperate route with them so this happened. they’re so serious but they’re working on it. so yes, since their story is directly intertwined with ida’s, their themes are similarly also about identity!!

the things i have planned for them are definitely more serious and whumpy than my other ocs (yknow. living weapon typical story) but sometimes that’s required for a good ending!! so bear with me and my little scrunkly scrimblo over here i swear they get nice things too

——————

twelve !!

toyhouse (both original and AU)

quotelist

roles: whumpee

verrill and them are from a completely different universe than above^^ (some of my ocs were previously from their home city though)

honestly their story is just based off one of my favourite dystopian literatures but i change it up a little! sorry their quotelist paints them as such a romantic because i sourced most of them when i was obsessed with their crackship…anyway!! damn this guy (gender neutral) can hold so much trauma with photographic memory that’s literally out for war with them

i think the best way to describe them would be dull exterior colourful interior! they hold so much hope in them…no 1 hurt/comfort extraordinaire

——————

verrill !!

toyhouse

quotelist

roles: whumpee/caretaker, pretty balanced

he's an adult he just has chronic babyface from my artstyle rip

the catalyst and the end of it all…this guy has Problems and refuses to deal with them. first attempt at a morally grey character, i suppose? extremely loyal, extremely caring, but only if it’s in his preference. loves playing hero but hates playing hero. walking contradiction. he cannot be described in a few words. he simply cannot.

——————

roles of other characters that might be mentioned (once again, least to most):

mc/emmei: caretaker

naeri: whumpee (90% emotionally) but really just there to drive the story. may/may not use her

cerilux (previously unnamed character no 2): (whumpee), caretaker

unnamed character: “caretaker”, whumper

more by @/lemlem21 | @/qiuthewhumps, a whole load of other characters in a whole load of roles: yuuto, saora, chelo + more

——————

misc. 

oc asks

BECAUSE I WAS TOO SHY TO ASK PEOPLE TO. ASK. SO I JUST DID NEARLY EVERYTHING (please look at this to find out more i spent so much time on this it’s kinda insane) (still unfinished with spontaneous updates because i do whatever i want)

and of course, promoting my other completely unrelated oc introduction post here

——————

anddd that’s it!! thank you for scrolling!! may or may not be extra ocs or content added later on but for now this is my final cast; feel free to send in whatever, whenever! inbox always open to prompts questions musings anything really 💥 please i get so happy if it wasn’t obvious enough by me maxxing out reblog tag limits for things i love pleasepleasepl

——————

update: you can find my masterpost in the read more under my pinned post^^^

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

i really wish that the concept of gendered socialisation wasn’t associated so heavily with TERFism. bc i think it WOULD be productive to discuss how children are gendered (or degendered, in the case of many intersex, trans, and otherwise gender variant kids). i think it would be good to really dig deep into the ways in which kids are treated differently based on their assigned sex at birth (ASAB) and/or socially imposed gender (SIG), and what happens to kids who fail to live up to the expectations for the category they’re sorted into by the adults around them.

i think it IS important to talk about how kids are rewarded for performing gender in a way that is consistent with their ASAB/SIG and punished for deviating from the roles assigned to them. i think it’s important to dissect the lessons taught to kids and how those lessons affect their worldviews, both when they’re still kids and after they grow up. i think it’s important to uncover what lessons are harmful and should be unlearned by EVERYONE and what lessons are helpful and should be learned by EVERYONE. (and yes, btw, ‘female’ socialisation is full of bad lessons to unlearn, both about girls/women AND about boys/men.)

i think it’s important to address the ways in which gendered socialisation can be traumatic. how kids whose SIG is ‘boy’ are verbally, physically, and sexually harassed by both boys and girls for being too sensitive, sweet, quiet, emotional, weak, or otherwise “feminine,” and how the same happens to kids whose SIG is ‘girl’ for being too direct, outspoken, loud, physical, logical, strong, or otherwise “masculine.” how any kid who dares to exist outside the norms placed on them is outcast and labelled as queer—even if they’re perisex and cishetallo.

i think it’s important to also discuss the differences in the ways that kids who buy into gendered socialisation bully kids who don’t, depending on the bully’s SIG. how boys are more likely to physically and sexually harass kids for being gender deviants, and girls are more likely to leave their harassment verbal only. it’s important to discuss how adults allow this behavior to mostly run unchecked, and how we, as adults, need to take action to break the cycle. it’s fucked that kids so often get told to just act like they’re supposed to based on their SIG so the bullying will stop, and don’t get actual help. i mean, this is true of bullying in general, but still.

and we need to also dissect what parts of gendered socialisation are bad, full stop, no matter who is learning them, and what parts would be good if everyone learned them. like i said, there are good and bad lessons in both ‘male’ and ‘female’ socialisation. nobody should believe that they are inherently smarter, kinder, stronger, more understanding, or better in any way than anyone else based on their gender/sex alone, or even that when they ARE smarter/kinder/stronger/more understanding/etc than someone of a different gender/sex that it’s because of their gender/sex and not because they’re simply two different individuals. and everyone should learn to be confident in themselves and go after what they want. everyone should open doors for other people. everyone should listen to their friends talk about their feelings and share their own feelings in return. etc.

most importantly, it’s CRUCIAL to understand how gendered socialisation works to sow the seeds of patriarchy in the younger generation, so that cis perisex kids of both binary genders will continue to reinforce and perpetuate the patriarchy and ostracise gender/sex/sexuality deviant kids of all stripes, throughout their lives even as adults. how toxic masculinity is enforced by cis adults of both binary genders, how cis adults of both genders underestimate kids who are designated as ‘girls,’ and how socialisation as kids leads to adults who reinforce that on the following generation.

but instead of having these conversations, people only want to talk about gendered socialisation when it’s useful as a rhetorical weapon to use against trans people, especially trans women. and, understandably, trans people and our allies get our hackles up at the mere concept of gendered socialisation because of that. but i just think that writing off the whole concept does a disservice to feminism.

i think we can have productive conversations about this stuff if we all collectively agreed to toss TERFs and their rhetoric to the side, and come at this conversation with the goal of understanding how our SIGs affected us as kids, and actually listening to people who have a different experience from us (be it because they’re a different gender or trans or cis or intersex or perisex or WHATEVER) rather than pretending to be the authority on how gendered socialisation we didn’t experience actually works and how it affects the kids who do experience it.

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Day 3 of @niecest-weekend-2023

“DA-GE!”

Nie Huaisang jerked up in his bed, gasping for air. His heart raced as his eyes were darting from one corner to another, finding unseen enemies in the shadows. The loud yelling outside of his apartment scared him; was the mob coming for him? Would they finish what they started so long ago?

He jumped from his bed, tripping when the sheets his feet were tangled in stopped him. A small cry was all he allowed himself, small and almost silent but it rang loud in the night. Struggling to free himself, he could almost feel the restraining hands of Su She around him. Fighting for his life, he crawled under his desk, finding shelter from the demons of his past.

A church bell rang, indicating the start of the day, and with it, the wrathful wraiths faded into nothing. The shadows of Jin Guangyao melted into the darkness, the angry screams of this qi deviating brother died and Nie Huaisang was suddenly alone in his room.

Alone, like he'd always been.

Always alone without his brother, his other half.

No matter how much he cried, how much he looked for his brother, and asked for him desperately, no one answered. No one would answer.

Pulling up his knees, covering under his desk, he allowed himself to break down.

“Da-ge,” he sobbed, wishing for those strong hands to pat his head, for his big brother to promise him he would always be with him. To lie to him.

But Nie Mingjue never came. So many reincarnations, so many lifetimes without his One and Only, and Nie Huaisang still yearned. Still hoped. But maybe he should just accept it…

He was all alone in this world.

His parents in this reincarnation cycle were nice. A bit absent now that he was a university student, but they were always there for him. Still, they could never make up for what he lost in his first life - or at least in the first life he can remember -, and he felt a bit guilty for it. His nightmares and screams for a big brother he never had were a constant companion of his since his childhood, worrying his parents. Before he learnt how to hide his condition, he was taken to many doctors and psychiatrists to find out why a five-year-old little kid had PTSD but the only answer they could come up with was that he needs medicine.

After that, he was quick to learn how to hide his night terrors and memories from other people. After all, he still remembered how it felt to be locked in the psychiatry ward for being “insane” just because he knew he was reincarnated. Nobody believed in reincarnation for hundreds of years.

Suddenly, his cellphone rang on his nightstand. He didn't want to get up, he didn't want to crawl out of his safe space under the table, but it was Xian’s ringtone.

He would always pick up his phone for the only person, the only friend he found in this life, Wei Wuxian.

The phone rang and rang until he picked it up. Wei Wuxian was the only constant connection he had to his first life; sometimes he found nobody, but most of the time he found Wei Wuxian at least. Sometimes his friend didn't remember, sometimes he did, but he always, always ended up finding his One. He always found Lan Wangji.

Nie Huaisang wasn't sure if he remembered in this lifetime or not, his friend was always hard to understand, but he didn't find his soulmate yet.

“A-Saaaang,” whined Wei Wuxian when Nie Huaisang finally picked up his phone.

“Xian…” he sighed.

“Don't be like that! I know you love me, and you love hearing my gorgeous voice as the first thing in the morning!” Wei Wuxian has always been and always will be a gremlin. His best friend, one he appreciated, but a gremlin nonetheless.

“What do you want?”

He could basically hear the pout in his friend's voice. “Spoilsport. Okay, but you know I work at the museum, right?” He waited until Nie Huaisang give an affirmative hum. “I might have met with the love of my life today, aaaaand I need you to take over me so I can go on a date with him. Pleeeeeeaseeeee?”

He expected this - well, not the situation but Wei Wuxian finding Lan Wangji -, but it still hurt. Countless lifetimes, and he was still so fucking jealous of them, for always meeting, for always falling in love at the first sight.

“When do I have to be there?” He sighed. It wasn't like he could say no to his friend. Not now, not ever.

“I knew you were the best!!! Thank youuuuu! You have to be there in- uh- ten minutes! Byeee~”

And with that, the line was dead, leaving Nie Huaisang frustrated, but not shocked. Of course Wei Wuxian would leave it until the last fucking minute to notify him. Of course he would.

A little more than ten minutes after the phone call, he arrived at the museum. A bit breathless, a lot red and sweaty from running, looking like a mess with his braids undone and jacket hanging on him carelessly, but he was there. Like in every lifetime, he wasn't an athletic type of person in this one either.

Thankfully not many people were in the museum that morning as it was a weekday, but he had to be ready for the guided tours and the odd tourists, art students and other visitors. He already knew his tasks, being at the receiving end of Wei Wuxian’s begging puppy eyes before, so it wasn't difficult to open the tiny art museum.

What was difficult, however, to face the topic of the new temporary exhibition. Wei Wuxian should have told him. He fucking should have told him.

It was fucking “The Cultivation World: Beyond the Myths”.

The fucker-

He stopped in front of the painting that haunted his dreams. The color work faded, the time left its signs on the painting. He didn't have to read the sign to know how long it took for the artist to paint it, to know its size or its title.

He felt a presence behind him. He should have been more concerned about the visitor, but he felt right. As if the person had every right to be there, to share the moment with Nie Huaisang.

He didn't dare to look back at the person. He didn't want to be disappointed. He started at the painting, transfixed by it, focusing on the past instead of the present.

The painting wasn't one of his best works. It was, however, the most emotional one. The pain, the love, the terror and the grief… the painting was a gateway to his heart. It was not something he ever wanted to see again.

It was something he needed to see. To tell his story; to share his pain.

He felt he was being watched. It wasn't uncomfortable. It wasn't creepy.

It was familiar; safe. The visitor came closer, his steps slow but loud as they echoed in the room. His heart quickened.

It was time.

For what, he didn't know. But he felt like all of his lifetimes, all those years of grief and hopelessness were about to end.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around, his eyes immediately finding the person.

Oh.

It felt like he was punched in his chest.

“Didi…” A whispered sound, not louder than a sigh. Was it the person or was he hallucinating?

He must have been hallucinating.

The person was staring back at him, his deep eyes full of longing. His hair was black, long and braided, his mustache made his handsome face stricter, more stern.

Nie Huaisang felt his mouth dry.

“Da-ge,” he breathed. Legs buckling beneath him, the only reason he didn't fall was because of those strong and safe arms he dreamt about for so long.

“I've got you, didi. I got you.”

Nie Huaisang wept.

He was finally whole.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi there again!

Would you be able to do a fluffy one-shot or an imagine of the RFA boys + SE Saeran seeing a neurodivergent gender-neutral MC stim for the first time?

Love your work still and forever! :]

Yoosung has a couple of friends in one of his social clubs who need to stim whenever they have big bouts of emotion, but he can be a bit clueless when it comes to the reason why people like to stim. There's a reason, sure, but he's never asked why.

He is very supportive but a little confused, if that makes sense? He can get a little mixed up when it comes to the reason why somebody would need to stim, but, after some education on the subject, he'll be with the best of them. Yoosung is always well-intentioned even if he's got a lot to learn. He might be a little out of the loop but that doesn't mean he'll be that way forever. With education, he is the biggest ally.

That's why it would mean a lot to him to know that you trust him enough to share that side of yourself. He knows it's not easy to hide parts of yourself all the time because you're afraid people are going to treat you differently or discriminate against you. He would never stand for that sort of thing, but he can't stop how other people react, he can only control how he reacts. He has a smile on his face the first time you let loose and show him a side of yourself that nobody else gets to see, a side that only gets shown to the people you trust the most.

Zen has mentioned a friend or two in his past that might've been the type to stim to calm themselves down.

He understands what it feels like to have a wave of emotion hit you but no way to express it. He always had to bite his tongue no matter what he felt like when people made him feel uncomfortable, but all he wanted to do was slap their hands away. That is certainly not the same as needing to stim to regulate his excitement or distress, but it’s how he would sympathize with the experience to understand why it helps you! 

Any deviation from the norm can be upsetting to society, he knows that like the back of his hand. He doesn't like people gawking at him for his appearance, and he certainly wouldn't appreciate anyone gawking at you for being yourself. You can trust him to shoot glares at anybody who dares to think ill of you when you need to stim. Not a soul in this world is going to say something nasty about you and get away with it on his watch. 

Jumin has been stimming for years without the language to describe that's what he's been doing. Twirling his pen, stroking Elizabeth's fur over and over again, tapping his fingers against the desk when lost in thought. Those are a few examples, but not all of the acts he's done to regulate what he feels. He might be a straightforward, matter-of-fact kind of person, but he certainly holds back when he shouldn’t. He's not an unfeeling robot, his emotions are just expressed in a different way from others. 

Considering the fact that his mother nudged him into a corner his entire childhood to be the silent, obedient child she wanted him to be, only to call him an emotionless robot when he didn't behave like other children really did a number on him. He has been suppressing things that could be seen as stimming behavior, and he’d only pause mid-thought when you bring up your stims.

Perhaps yours are the kind that is far more expressive than the ones he's experienced, and he may imagine it to be more forthcoming and everyone, not realizing that there can be smaller motions that are just as comforting. Either way, expect him to be supportive no matter what, and to do more research on the subject not only for you but for himself, as well. You've opened a new gateway to education for him, and he’s the type to study well. 

Saeyoung understands full well the desire to be able to stim.

After all, he's got quite a few of those he does himself. He might not have known that that is the word to use for it, but after he learns that, he is more than happy to share that experience with you. You should feel comfortable in your own skin, regardless of how you relax, excite, or center yourself in the middle of a crisis. After all, there are a lot of reasons why people stim.

He wants you to feel comfortable doing all of them around him. You make him feel comfortable in his skin, why wouldn't he center the same sentiment around you? Why wouldn't he do everything in his power to make sure you have somebody at your side who is willing to stand by you and make sure that nobody patronizes you for doing something that makes you feel better. As a matter of fact, seeing you let down those walls for the first time makes him feel good about himself. It means you trust him. It means you're comfortable with him. It's a gift and not one he'll take lightly.

Jihyun has been around the block plenty. He already has a firm understanding of what it means to stim. It was never something he had to do to regulate his emotions when he was younger, but he has interacted with plenty of folks in his travels who have those needs.

He knows repetitive motions can be comforting, if only because being an artist means he falls into a rhythm when he creates, and it brings him a sense of mindful peace. It's not that much of a stretch to say that he empathizes with these similarities. If there's one way to help him meditate, it's to focus his mind on the rhythm and pattern, not anything else. It may be a little bit different for you because you are trying to regulate your emotions, and for him, he's trying to find a way to take his mind off of everything and fall back into place. 

Absolutely, he is happy when you let your guard down and be yourself with him. It's great to be in a space where he gets to be himself and you get to be yourself. You are the one who taught him there's no shame in being who he wants to be, even if who he wants to be isn't what the world expected him to be. Why should you consider yourself any different when you tell him otherwise? 

SE Saeran is out of the loop on anything and everything that had nothing to do with revenge. His education was slim to none to begin with, and on top of that, all he knows is what he was trained to do. He shoved out any information that was irrelevant to his operation and that was that.

He has no idea how the rest of the world operates, and on top of that, it means he has no idea the bevy of differences that come with being neurodivergent and neurotypical. He doesn't know about the discrimination people face, at least, in this regard. 

Relatively speaking, he is starting from scratch when it comes to educating himself on these matters. Expect him to be out of the loop, misinformed but well-intentioned. You might be surprised to learn in Mint Eye, that one of the only ways he could regulate himself was through self-destruction. He doesn't know how to break out of that habit, these days he doesn't have that issue if only because he doesn't have the energy, but it's still something that lingers in the back of his head. 

Regardless of how you stim to cope, he won’t judge you. You're doing something to maintain your composure as best you can in his eyes, even if it looks weird to the rest of the world, and he wants you to feel comfortable. Maybe you can talk to him about how you regulate your emotions to help him better avoid self-destructive reactions when his emotions are too high strung. 

[cutest-bunny-writings]

The Missing Paper Clause; Chapter 6: Impatience and a Patient

Warnings: some swearing, observation of a fight and possible impending panic attack, referral to people as "specimens", discussion of surgery to fix a deviated septum, Taehyung just appears

The Missing Paper Clause Chapter Index

It’s going to bother you for the rest of your life if you just don’t go see how that guy is doing. He was in obvious distress and your presence calmed him down.

You heard they were going to take him to Taehyung to get a deviated septum fixed, but you’re really worried that Taehyung is just going to accidentally terrorize the guy more.

“Oh hell, I’ll just go,” you mumble to yourself before you start marching down the hallway to the elevator.

Taehyung’s ward is a couple floors below you, so it might take you a few minutes to get down there, hopefully before surgery starts.

You manage to make it into the operating theater just in time.

You see that they’re trying to wrestle the guy back onto the table and he is obviously winning with his jock-like physique against your coworkers' diminished versions.

You notice you don’t see Taehyung in there, but turn your head to see if he might be sitting in a corner somewhere and he’s not down in there at all.

“Enjoying the show?”

You start at the sound of Taehyung’s voice coming from behind you. “I’m afraid not, Dr. Kim. He’s in obvious distress and your team’s methods seem to only be making it worse.”

“You are welcome to try something if you think you can get him to calm down.”

“Fine. You’ll have to get me scrubbed in and explain to them why you’re letting me in. They aren’t exactly some of my biggest fans right now.”

“Then let’s go, Dr. L/N.”

Once successfully scrubbed in and Taehyung tells off his team when they begin to protest, you make your way over to the commotion.

“Let go of him.”

“Are you kidding? He’s a flight risk!”

“You heard the lady, she said let him go.”

You couldn’t be more thankful Taehyung was so scary and that you were on good terms with him than you are right now.

The guy is obviously pissed, understandably, and he looks incredibly frantic.

“Hey, big guy. Look down here.”

You let him finish calming down before making your way closer.

“Recognize me? I’m the lady you saw earlier, Dr. Y/N L/N.” You point at yourself and smile from behind your mask, making your eyes scrunch.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you. You were the only woman around when they woke me up, and that nurse.” He takes the time to sit back down on the table.

“Oh, that wasn’t a female nurse. That was Nurse Min, he just looks really feminine.”

“Oh.” He looks briefly confused.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, why do you not want to be here right now?”

You see his eyes fill with tears before he starts ranting about everything he’s experienced so far.

“I wake up in some foreign concrete building with a bunch of strangers that keep strapping me down and hooking me up to machines that scream with awful beeping noises. I don’t know where I am or who I am and nobody’s telling me anything about what’s going on!”

“I understand how this can be very scary, so allow me to explain.”

He looks up at you, still clearly upset, but willing to listen.

“That man over there,” you point at Taehyung from in the corner, “he’s going to do the surgery.”

“Surgery?!” He towers over you.

“Don’t worry.” You use your hand to gently push him back onto the table. “This surgery is super simple. He’s going to fix your deviated septum there and hopefully it will fix your breathing problems.”

“Will you be here?”

“If you want me to be here, I can stay.”

“Please?”

“All right.” You turn your head in search of Taehyung. “Dr. Kim, we're ready to start anesthetic and then surgery.

You lay the guy down on the table and strap him back in, explaining to him why the whole time you’re doing so.

The anesthesiologist comes over to begin administering the anesthetic and once that gas is going, he tells the guy on the table to start counting backwards from 100.

He ends up making it to something like four, which amazes all of you because people usually tap out around 60.

Surgery goes smoothly, thankfully.

You also decide it would be a good time to discuss some things with Taehyung, even if it does come off as a little bit flirtatious to the others.

You follow the nurses closely after you scrub out so you can find out which post-op room they put him in.

The nurses stop you from entering the room.

“We’re really sorry, Dr L/N, but we were told you don’t have clearance to this patient until further notice.”

“What kind of—”

“They did it under my orders, Ms. L/N.”

All the nurses join you in correcting your evident arch-nemesis before you continue to express your displeasure at being denied access to the newest specimen.

They seem to think I’m some kind of a joke.

Okay, let’s review what I learned: he knows literally nothing, but seems to have a very large vocabulary. He’ll likely panic and try to escape if he’s left alone in his room. If he’s left with the other doctors that obviously don’t care about his state of distress, he’s probably going to try to fight them again. He’ll likely have blood pressure and heart rate spikes. Definitely experience a panic attack at the rate things are going. They’re risking him blacking out…or maybe that’s what they’re counting on, so he can disappear quietly.

Previous : Next

[genderqueerdykes]

TW transphobia

Ok I'm honestly terrified. I'm terrified of.. T*rfs.

Yes. I feel like they will never ever see me as my gender (I don't even want to say what gender I am because I'm aware that they can see this) and what if they are right?? Why if Im just very disordered so is my own thinking?

Also I feel like they always know what it's your agab..

I don't want to be trans if this is how other people perceive me. I feel like I'm pretend to be *this* gender while my true self is what my agab is.

And I'm wrong about who I am.

Even my biggest gender euphoria can dissappear just like that if I see something what they are saying about people like me.

hey i just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to send this message because i think this is an important thing to address!

that's what they want you to think, but it's not true. if you take a look at posts where these people attempt to "analyze" pictures of strangers and celebrities to figure out their agab, they will always be wrong and make transphobic assumptions about cis people.

terfs are not smart! they want you to think they are, but they're very far from it. they are making incorrect assumptions about biology when they point out who they think they know is trans. they don't even understand what intersex people are, or the fact that we exist! they don't even understand that someone could look the way a trans person does without ever having touched hormones, themselves. they don't understand that any type of person can have a uterus- strangers cannot ascertain your agab magically just by looking at you. that is your most close guarded secret and nobody can "tell" just by looking at you

trans and intersex people have shown and proven time and time again that you don't know what someone's biology is for sure unless you are that person and their medical professionals. these people want you to think that they're these big scary investigators who are smarter than you, but they're bullies who react to the smallest deviation from what THEY consider to be the norm

you are not in danger of these people if you block and move on accordingly: terfs only have the illusion of power online because they are hiding behind the shield of relative anonymity to bully oppressed people. they're not smarter than you or me or anyone- they're just aggressive, mean, and targeting vulnerable people. they don't know anything about you inherently just by looking for you- they don't have tranny vision. they think they do, but they can't tell a rock from a diamond

they want to scare you because they're scared. they want to seem scary, but they're too afraid to show their faces or voice themselves in a way that extends beyond bullying teenagers online. they are weak. they aren't activists. they aren't helping anyone. you know yourself better than anyone else, you know who you are. you are the arbiter of your lived experience and no matter what someone guesses about you, they'll never be right. it's a guess, not an objective truth. they don't live in your head

hope that helps a bit! they're big dumb bullies who think making minors and trans people feel bad about themselves will somehow help women. it's not worth your time, i know it sucks to think about, but they are not as scary as they make themselves seen. worry about you, you do you. you got this. take care, stay safe, good luck out there

[cursedthing]

I would LOVE to hear about ferry and what they think of wynncraft. would you mind doing a summary of their journey in a single post? i want to make sure the bits i'm piecing together are right

.!!!!!!! :D

.okay SO! we were planning to make a post like that detailing stuff about it but quick summary time since we keep. procrastinating on making said post!

.[ramble under cut since it got really long]

.oh fuck forgot that we are not good at summerizing uuuh shit hol on. delete this bit later <-.no <-.what the fuck,,,,,,,

.basically ferry's story follows the events of wynncraft really closely with barely any deviation, save for some details! the best way to describe ferry at the beginning is "v1 from ultrakill mixed with us fucking around and the drifter from hyper light drifter", that description of it's character still rings true but with added experience and growth from what it witnessed and went through. .to understand why it acts certain ways at some points you have to know that it is. literally. technically. only a few months old. it only existed for a few months! it trully became alive in the wagon from fruma to the wynn border! the first people it saw and heard were aledar and tasim! sure it has the body and mind of a young adult but even then it's still incredibly young comparing to any other characters, both in age and experience. which is also the reasoning for why the memory orb in recover the past quest reacted that way to it, there's LITERALLY nothing for it to uncover, they're asking for the impossible. .from this segment it leads pretty well into another, "what do you mean ferry only became alive at the wynn border?" well, it's not exactly human. the closest shortest description of it's species is "homonculus" and even then it's not correct. since the traditional homonculi are made out of clay or similar. what ferry is made out of is flesh and metal. sort of similar to iron guards. but not. as with iron guards the people are still there within, just.... beneath tons and tons of layers of metal. and even then you wouldnt just simply find a villager body inside. anyways enough of that. if iron golems are "reuse" then ferry is "recycle". it wasn't made from one single body, so in a way its muscles and flesh and everything that falls under tha category are in some way unique. what about the metal parts? it's not exactly as simple as how iron guards are composed. where there is somewhat of a clear line between the two. in ferry's case flesh and metal, organic and inorganic blend so well that at certain points you can't even tell where one begins and where one ends! or which is which! the clearest distinction is its "mask", which is actually just it's face. the face plates can be removed with a bit of fiddling (however they will still be connected with "flesh tendrils", to make sure that it doesnt LOOSE its face), which is how it can eat. it doesnt really have a mouth, or well it does but it doesnt exactly have teeth or anything to chew with. so it's sort of bound to only eating soft foods (what the army cooks serve, it also calls whatever it eats from them as "soldier slop" affectionately). in similar vein it is quite hypermobile, it's joints loose and out of wack. projecting our chronic pain onto it. also the front of its throat is translucent so that you can watch whats happening inside, as a treat ^_^

."okay but who the fuck made this thing?" nobody knows! as far as everyones concerned ferry is human! a weird as shit human but human nontheless! even if that's incorrect! only folks who know are death (calls it human since IT doesnt know that it's not), orphion (doesnt give a shit what species his pulse is, he likes it either way), maxie (look he figured out ava in like under five minutes. he spent way much time with ferry than he did with ava. he most definently knows just didn't know how to like.. approach that specific topic. he doesn't care that ferry is whatver it is, he only cares when medical stuff is involved [he wants his friend to be okay]) and the medic maxie hired for ferry during the feathers fly part 2 quest. lari came CLOSE after sensing ferry in the realm of light but just didn't have the time or place to fully process that and ask ferry about it, more important things were happening. back to the original topic, no one knows. someone in fruma did however. how ferry even came to the border is a mystery. only certain thing is that it was made for war, that it is a living weapon, judging by its behaviour and instincts. was it made out of rebellion (magic is forbidden in fruma after all!), was it made out of hope for a better future (so that things like ferry are mass produced and that the convicts stop basically being death sentenced to wynn)? no clue! it just exists and will continue to exist if orphion and death have a say in it (which they do).

.okay just read this over and realized that that is NOT a summary of its story that is an essay on it's nature gjfdklgjldfg .so uh, yeah it's story follows the events really closely and it really likes it's friends (lari, maxie, olon, seaskipper, aledar, tasim, axelus, afelis and the orcs [ava and korzim not included as it wants to give ava space and it doesnt know korzim all that well, on the account of avoiding molten heaights after the questlines end. it is NOT good with grief])

.if you want to know anything specific about it please ask we'll try our best to answer it!!! :D .hope you enjoyed reading this!!

[saintaches]

I didn’t really talk about the situation at the time other than to state that I was leaving the fandom, but the information that has recently come to light is horrifying. With that in mind, I’m just going to quickly outline some things about my works about Dream and George. This has always been more of a personal blog, but since my twitter no longer exists I thought I’d say something here. I want to emphasise that this is very far down the list of priorities in this situation, but I equally wanted to make my stance clear.

Several months ago I privated all my works about Dream and George. I thought enough time had passed that nobody would really care or notice, but instead multiple pdf copies were uploaded and shared. Since I wanted to maintain some level of control over my work, I ultimately decided to put the anonymised works back up.

However, I will now be rescinding that decision and deleting all of my works about these individuals.

In posting my writing on the internet I understand that I can never fully erase it, but I hope those who might read this will refrain from posting the links to epub or pdf copies of it. While the works themselves greatly deviated from the source material, they are nevertheless based on two people who I do not wish to support in any way. I appreciate and cherish every comment I’ve received on my work over the last few years, but I can no longer leave them up knowing they essentially serve as positive promotion of Dream and George.

As one of many, many victims of sexual assault, I am beyond furious with these men who once, albeit inadvertently, cultivated a space in which so many young women found comfort and solace. All my support goes to Caiti, Shelby, as well as anyone else who has been affected by these individuals. For those who are struggling to come to terms with what’s happened, I promise letting go will become easier. Please stay safe and stay happy ❤️