#not sure whether to tag lbh

[cumplanecrash]

So apparently I only have time to format this at work, and the thing about work is, sometimes you have to do work there. This smallish section (under 800 words) rounds out what will be chapter 2, I think.

AO3 🔗 Shizun Babies AU tag 🔗 writeblogging Shizun Babies 🔗 first 🔗 prev

This was the part that they never showed you in the videogames: everyone needing to fuck off and bury their noses (or their disciples' noses) in some books. There would be no convenient "Ah, yes, I've heard of such a thing" or recently arrived tomes, like there would have been in the original Proud Immortal Demon Way; no search engines or algorithms like a more modern setting might fudge the downtime with. Everyone had to leave and go do research, because this wasn't in the book and/or because the System wanted to milk the situation for Heartwarming Points or something. Dinner'd been had, the very little they knew had been shared, and it was time for everyone to go their separate ways.

And Yue Qingyuan was absolutely bullying his precious disciple!!

They both stood by the front door, where Binghe had just returned with a stack of books from the Great Library, still clutching them as the sect leader loomed over the boy. Binghe wasn't done growing yet, while the sect leader was approaching 2 meters and as broad as an ox (that or Shen Qingqiu was shorter than Shen Yuan had been, which would be a trip and a half given usual fantasy logic), so it's not that hard for him to physically crowd Binghe without actually using overtly hostile body language.

[the finished version of this illustration goes here]

"It's very important that you understand that your Shizuns still have all of their adult faculties," Yue Qingyuan whisper-yelled at Luo Binghe. His back was turned to himself and Shen Jiu, as he had been about to leave, so Shen Yuan couldn't see Yue Qingyuan's face, but he could see Luo Binghe's polite-masking-intense-discomfort expression, so he could only imagine the intensity. "You must respect that they are grown adults, who have earned a high rank and the corresponding respect."

"Naturally," said Luo Binghe, sounding bewildered.

"But also," Yue Qingyuan took Luo Binghe's shoulder. "This curse makes them need to perform childish mannerisms against their will. So in a way, they also need adult supervision."

"This disciple is used to providing for Shizun during his flare-ups," Luo Binghe explained. "Providing amenities while being respectful is a skill this disciple has honed over the last year. And as for Lord Jiu, there are at least two things we agree on wholeheartedly, so this disciple thinks things will go rather smoothly this time around."

Bing-ge, what's the second thing?? Bing-ge? Shen Yuan bit down on his candy, hard.

"Luo-shizhi must contact me if he needs anything at all," Yue Qingyuan shook Luo Binghe by the shoulder.

"Qiii-ge," Shen Jiu whined, startling Shen Yuan where he sat next to him. "Let the boy put the books down before you make him piss himself, carrying on like that."

Shen Yuan wasn't the only one startled. Yue Qingyuan looked mildly sheepish after getting caught threatening Shen Yuan's precious little lamb. (Which, to be fair, he had excused Shen Jiu doing so much worse, so clearly this backwards-ass fantasy setting didn't understand how traumatizing being threatened by someone who you had no reasonable method to get away from could be. There was a reason the Revenge Against Shen Qingqiu arc had been so long and so well received, is all he's saying.) After relaxing from his startle, Luo Binghe sent Shen Jiu a grateful look, a sentence which had never before been thought in the entire PIDW fandom's history.

"Gimme gimme gimme," Shen Jiu demanded sardonically, going so far as to make grabby hands.

"You're doing that on purpose," Shen Yuan accused him.

Shen Jiu tilted his head back, and Shen Yuan was not preparee wail that came from so close. "Xiao Jiu wants his books now!!!"

Luo Binghe hurried past the sect leader, panic clear in his eyes as he brought five thick books to the table. As for Yue Qingyuan...

Shen Jiu immediately covered his mouth, bursting into giggles. "Qi-ge's face!" He gasped out, curling over onto his side towards Shen Yuan. Yue Qingyuan's dismayed expression was hilariously overblown, to be fair. Once the table was blocking the other two's view, Shen Jiu glanced up toward the cieling, and then did a tiny little dance, wiggling his hands and feet with a small smile.

That's what counts as heartwarming around here? System??? System are you broken?!? Shen Yuan demands to send a bug report!

[grande-lando]

i know i should just leave it alone because this is never going to reach its intended audience (and lbh they don’t care) but i’m so tired of people who clearly don’t even like lando using him just to prop up their faves. the way he gets written, always feeling inferior to max or oscar or charles, always the emotional support punching bag, the afterthought, the one who exists solely to make someone else look better, it’s exhausting.

it’s always the same forced narrative where he’s the insecure one, the one who’s never quite enough, the one who gets hurt so their favorite can have some kind of fake redemption arc. and let’s not even talk about the ones who solely post him when he’s at his lowest cause “they love to see the tears in his eyes.”

these are the ones strip him of everything that makes him complex. his ambition, his humor, his sharpness, his loyalty, and reduce him to this one-dimensional person, and then act like they’re being generous by including him at all. these are the ones in fandom who use him to push a toxic, tired story that does nothing but undermine him and then act shocked when people push against the narrative.

i’m gonna be real with you, i’m not one to tell people what not to post. i post my own thoughts on my own blog and i’m not about to be censored so i get it (but just to add, i follow tagging etiquette, which is more than i can say for a lot of max, oscar, charles, and lewis fans who seem to relish tagging their anti posts with lando’s name so they show up in his main tag and then get combative when asked to remove them). but let’s be real. you can’t constantly push this narrative that lando is weak, inferior, or depressed, and then pull the shocked pikachu face when the internet eats it up and starts parroting it like fact.

i’ve been recommended so many landoscar and norstappen blogs lately, ones that get hundreds and thousands of notes, and the way they talk about lando? it’s grim. he’s always sad. always insecure. always the one hurting. never the one standing his ground, never the one being chosen, never the one who’s enough unless he’s crying over someone else’s greatness. and these blogs have huge followings. they shape fandom perception. and what they’re doing is subtle character assassination wrapped in a “poor baby” bow.

if the only version of lando you engage with is one where he’s small so someone else can be big, ask yourself why. because whether you mean to or not, you’re not just writing fanfic or making an angsty edit or a performative little text post for clout, you’re feeding a larger narrative that undermines him, and then acting shocked when people start treating that narrative like it’s canon.

lando isn’t your punching bag. he’s not a pity project, and he sure as hell isn’t the collateral damage in your obsession with someone else.

[tinsrandomstuff]

Some of my current WIPs, that will be posted once they are finished:

SVSSS:

- Calamity Shen Jiu. 15k

SJ dies in the Lingxi caves saving LQG, and ends up at Mount Tonglu. Will be LiuJiu after a while. Surprisingly soft vibes but with a looot of murder

- Empress Shen Jiu. 80k

Also LiuJiu eventually. SJ was brought up from the dungeons by a post Bingge vs Bingmei LBH who demands his own kind shizun. It does not end well - for LBH. Dark, painful and full of murder and torture. Putting my meowmeow through hell. My darkest work so far, but will have a happy-ish ending.

- Peak Lord Therapy. 130k

The Systems Self-Saving option sent SQQ back to the time he transmigrated, instead of saving his life where he was at (Maigu Ridge.). The System powers off, for reasons, and SY!SQQ suddenly recovers his memories of his lives, plural, as SJ!SQQ. He does his best to deter all the problems of the last lives he did this, as well as finding a therapist that he can trust in this damn Xianxia-setting. Sorta a fix-it. Will be a polycule with LQG, YQY, MQF plus some metamours. Eventually. The fic is at well over a 100k and there is barely a single kiss, so this one will take for-fucking-ever before I post, I fear.

-Qing Jing goes AWOL 2 - electric bogaloo. 5k

Yes, I have started! Barely... Some ideas are finally making their way forward so I can start working on a few scenes, at least. Will contain several confrontations and likely a look at how Cang Qiong is doing these days. Set almost 20 years from the time they made their escape. Not certain whether it will stay no-romance or not, it could go either way. Gotta wait and see what the muses say

-SQQ runs away! 5k

Head Disciple SJ has to admit to his shizun that all his training in strategy can only lead him to one conclusion: his presence here will tear the Qing generation apart. It already does. So he thanks his shizun for the opportunity, hands back his uniforms, and leaves to roam as a rogue cultivator for a while. Might settle in a place after a while. I have some vague ideas there, and about this persistent lil girl that demands SJ be her teacher or something. We'll see what becomes of this, this one is mostly just vibes so far.

- SY Beast Peak disciple. 30k

SY got transmigrated into a random kid on their way to the initiate trials. He ends up on, duh, the Beast Peak, and also fucks up the backstories of the Qing-generation beyond redemption - in good ways (at least for preventing PIDW happening). Will likely end up in some sort of polycule, not sure. Haven't gotten that far yet.

-Rewind, replay. 15k

SJ dies, then wakes up. Back as a slave, back before the Qiu's. Murders the slavers and runs off, getting his slave-sisters as tag-a-longs and accidentally revives an old sect along the way.

MDZS:

- Angry Purple Grape. 15k

Snapshots of life from right after the Sunshot Campaign and until after the Guanyin temple. Endgame Xicheng. Sorta dystopian vibes, if that makes any sense to anyone but myself.

- Break up get back together. 60k

Xicheng secretly became lovers just before the war ended. A year or so after that, an exhausted Xichen manages to say something that makes Wanyin believe he was just broken up with, and then the universe conspire to keep Xichen from realising this for far too long. Shenanigans in finding their way back together ensues. May contain corrupt Lan Elders and power-hungry Jins. Nie Mingjue lives!

....may even turn into mingxicheng at this point, who knows. Not me, that's for sure (aka the famous "the characters grabbed the wheel and drive into an electrical fence" happened, and I have no idea where this is going but I am having fun writing it)

- Modern. 25k

(Why am I writing Xicheng breakup and get togethers, plural? Oh, the yummy angst and feels, that's right.) Modern era, the great sects are sorta mob-families running a city. Shit goes down and Jiang Cheng has to leave his home that he shared with his lover/bf Lan Huan. Runs away and finds that cultivaton is real somewhere along the way. They will get back together, it's just going to take some time. Alternative title; accidental farmhand JC .

- Yu Wanyin. Barely started so far

Yu Ziyuan saw where the wind was blowing and took her son with her to be raised as a proper Yu. Aka assassin Jiang Cheng vibes does a number on certain asshole-riddled sects.

- Sect Leader Yanli.

What if Jiang Wanyin died during the torture after he was caught leading that Wen-patrol away from his brother? What if the Yu decides to back her claim to the Lotus throne? What if Jiang Wanyin is not quite as gone as one would think? Might end up with a Calamity JC, who knows

-Modern MingXiCheng. 35k.

Yet another story that started as a fun little story that quickly grabbed all the other plotbunnies in the area and devoured them to grown into a damn monster. Porny, was supposed to be funny but is now rather angsty at times. Follows JC from teens to (currently 40s) along with the two other guys.

Yes I adore the feral hissy cats, why do you ask?

Original works:

-The trouble with teachers. 90k

A bunch if tired teachers gets portaled into a magical world in place of the "chosen ones", aka a group of teenagers from their school. The teachers soon realises that the truth of being "chosen" is far from as glamorous as one could think.

- Another one?

A reclusive necromancer keeps getting unwanted children and the scapegoats of the nearby villages dumped on her dark, dreary castle's doorstep.

- Gods of the universe. 50k

Ye average spoonie in her 30s wakes up in a foreign world, in a foreign body, beside the lover of said body, and has to figure out what the heck just happened, while trying to not make things harder for the grieving lover than she has to. Unsure if this will be finished, needs a major rewrite as it got really bogged down.

[tossawary]

Rules: Share the first line of ten of your most recent fanfics and then tag ten people. Don't have ten? Not to worry, just share what you have. Tagged by @otakuchan449.

I did all of my fics, which are unsurprisingly all SVSSS, because I was curious as to the patterns. I usually like to name the POV character and illustrate their style of narration in the first paragraph, which is generally humorous, so people know quickly whether or not they're going to vibe with my style. I also like starting in the middle of a situation / inciting incident if possible, so we can hit the ground walking briskly if not running, and get to the good stuff.

23. Shang Houhua - someday unfortunately to be known as Shang Qinghua, once unfortunately known in another life as Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky - came back to himself abruptly. (if words could make wishes - WIP MBJ Time Travel AU from SQH POV)

22. If the System was to be trusted, which it generally was when it came to making Shang Qinghua’s life worse for no good reason, then today was the day! (Stepping Up - 90k Canon Divergence AU, An Ding Disciple LBH)

21. Shen Yuan was conscious when he was reborn, though he didn’t know what was happening at the time, because all he knew at first was pain and golden dust. (Sit With Your Soul - 61k SQQ & SY Daemon Fusion AU)

20. Shang Houhua was thirteen going on, uh, fourteen plus a whole other life that sometimes felt more like a dream than something that had actually happened. (hey, share the weight a little - 70k Canon Divergence AU, YQY/SQH)

19. “Shifu? Forgive the interruption, but there’s a woman here to see you?” (love to the ones I've never met - 83k Fic Companion, Dimension Travel)

18. Jiahui just needs to check that her restaurant hasn’t burned down. (forgiveness for whose sake? - 48k Fic Companion and Epilogue)

17. Luo Binghe knows he isn’t supposed to be doing what he’s doing, but given that he has no other way of getting answers, he does it anyway. (you had me at hello - 5k Non-Canon Fic Extra)

16. “My king, don’t touch that-!” (A Child Once - 101k Canon Divergence AU, Deaged SQH)

15. The world was dark, woven from a black so infinite that it looked flat, and it was full of light. (Catch a Falling Star - 122k Bingliushen Stardust AU)

14. Shang Qinghua woke up having a bad day - forget going through puberty twice, because in this transmigrator’s opinion, having to experience a new round of “first day of school” bullshit year after year was worse - and speed-walking through the Cloud Recesses wasn’t helping him get through it any faster. (Nothing to Me, Nothing to You - 60k Moshang MDZS AU)

13. Mobei-Jun’s search for Shang Qinghua had taken him to many strange places. (dreams that had never come true - 14k MBJ Time Travel AU)

12. It would be a lie to say that Shang Qinghua wasn’t too sure what had happened. (every haircut I've ever had has been a bad haircut - 5k Moshang Hurt/Comfort)

11. The situation was bad. (Babe in the Woods - 19k Canon Divergence AU, MBJ has a baby brother)

10. Shen Qingqiu was perfectly capable of piloting his own ship, but that day, like many others, found Liu Qingge leaning against a column by the hangar entrance, waiting for Shen Qingqiu as he prepared to leave Qing Jing Peak Temple. (this point of pale light - 18k Liushen Star Wars AU)

9. Liu Mingyan was the model of a refined and accomplished cultivator. (but that's fine because I like a hot mess - 3k Mingling Getting Together)

8. Shen Qingqiu had made use of many excuses over the years to avoid the presence of the man who was now his own sect leader, some of which had even been good. (the ability to remain sober and gracious - 4k Canon Divergence AU, Qijiu Xuan Su sword reveal)

7. Shang Qinghua’s head hurt and his eyes were watering and he was beginning, just maybe, to think that creating an experimental stimulant because he missed the non-organic goodness of energy drinks with an unreasonable passion had been a bad idea. (anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain - 2k Moshang Hurt/Comfort)

6. The library’s front door flew open so violently that it could be heard even at Shen Yuan’s desk nearer to the back of the main hall, which sat in front of the way to the computer rooms. (Absolutely Ineffable - 10k Good Omens Fusion AU)

5. Once there was a summer in which upon arriving home from university, Shen Yuan was immediately told that he was being sent away to the heart of the country to stay with his distant uncle, whether he liked it or not. (The Red Cabinet - 7k Narnia Fusion AU)

4. It took… Shang Qinghua… a while to figure out that demons actually had horns in this realized version of his sellout stallion web-novel. (Horns - 11k MBJ has sexy horns AU)

3. So, apparently, a portal burning with demonic energy had opened up over Qing Jing Peak and another Shang Qinghua had fallen out of it, and the wound in the sky had unfortunately closed again pretty much immediately. (ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real - 7k Non-Canon Fic Extra, SQH meets AU SQH)

2. So, Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, the dearly despised and fervently favorited author of Proud Immortal Demon Way, died in a vaguely humiliating fashion… and then he transmigrated. (it must follow, as the night the day - 26k Moshang Role Reversal AU, Demon SQH and Cultivator MBJ)

1. Shang Qinghua has not been having a stellar transmigration experience. (pride is not the word I'm looking for - 400k Canon Divergence AU, LBH's Mother Lives)

This serves as a pretty good round-up of all my currently posted fics! There are far too many in my WIP folders to begin including everything in there.

I've been a little out of touch with reading fanfiction lately, so please, if you wish, take this post as an opportunity to participate in this game and tag me in it! I highly recommend taking a moment to revisit and admire your own fan works! Look at all that cool stuff you did! If you only have WIPs, then I don't mind if you use WIPs. Sometimes our pieces of writing are full, intensely detailed paintings that take years to complete and sometimes they're just rough sketches we do to warmup or have creative fun when we have the time, and sharing both is nice.

And if you don't have your own fan works to pull from, then I'd still love to see a list of opening lines from some of your favorite fics by other people. Any fandom you like! Give me those fic recs! Give me the opening lines of your favorite published novels if there's one you've been itching to gush about.

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter Four - Visions

Weirdo goes back to school. Seems pointless but sure.

Like a stalker. An obsessessed stalker. An obsessessed, vampire stalker.

This is it, guys. This is the entire canon of Twilight. Boiled down into one sentence. 

But in all honestly, lets look at this. I said before in my chapter three recap that I hate this thing Eddie does where he goes on and on about how something he’s doing is wrong and then just keeps on doing it anyway, and this right here is a perfect example of that. He is outright admitting that he’s obsessed with Bella, that he wants to stalk her. And there’s the added point about how he is a vampire who (according to the text and what we’re told) is especially drawn to the smell of Bella’s blood. He’s outright saying that he’s wrong and should just leave her alone with this little collection of fragments. But will he? According to four books worth of canon, the answer is a hard no. He’s going to keep going, but I guess since he acknowledged that it’s wrong, he can just go ahead and keep doing it anyway.

Eddie is just being a whiny little lump for this entire section about school. How boring it is and how he doesn’t wanna be there and so on and so on. It’s stupid. Then he gets to Banner’s class and talks for a bit about how he should be lying to everyone and exaggerating Bella’s injuries (of which she doesn’t really have any) so that if she starts rambling on about Eddie and his brood being a Pire, he can claim that it’s because she got her skull bashed in during the van incident. Instead, he gives the Glare Of Doom to Banner and broods some more.

And, of course, because we must shit on Rosalie, she is brought up, Emmett mentions that she’s pissed at Eddie for his stupid little potential exposure stunt, and Weirdo just rolls his eyes. Silly Rose, being mad about that. She should be off worrying about her hair or something, right, Eddie?? Fuck you.

Emmett is still way better than this book deserves. He’s sitting here, trying to comfort Eddie in his little bitch fit (in the way that he can comfort him, since Emmett is, unfortunately, still an idiot), and warning him about how Rose and Jas are pissed and how Jas has apparently made up his mind (presumably to just go kill Bella bc lbh, Jas has a murder boner) and that’s a genuinely nice thing for him to do when he has every right to be annoyed with Ed for his little stunt too.

I could imagine how the girl would react to my kidnapping her.

Just.... let that line sink in for a second folks. Of course, we all know how Bella would react, because by this point in Twilight, she’s already gushing about how much she LUVS Eddie, and how she’s so drawn to him and wants him so bad, but he just hates her so much gawd, life isn’t fair. But lets pretend for a second that Bella isn’t an idiot and actually was a rational human being. She gets kidnapped by this biege turtleneck Pire to ‘be protected’ from his family. 

Eddie? Sweety? She would absolutely flip the fuck out. And you would be risking even more exposure because she would fight and try to get free, and then probably turn your ass into her police chief dad.

Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool!

For as much as SM likes to shit on poor Rosalie.... she’s kinda the only brain cell in the entire Cullen clan. 

Carlisle's Mercedes was there, next to Emmett's big jeep, Rose's M3 and my Vanquish.

This is what I was talking about with the CD thing. She will not name a band, but lets just list a bunch of shitty lux cars that they Cullens own to show how rich and awesome they all are. I hate this flashy and obvious display of wealth that comes down to nothing more than the price tag. They don’t give two flying shits about those cars outside of how much money they dropped to get them.

The Cullens are having their meeting about whether they should murder Bella. It is extremely boring because SM spends far too long discussing where everyone is sitting. Literally, we get the geographic location for each and every member of the Cullen clan and it is just a dumb laundry list. It only serves to drive up the word count and make this even longer to slog through. I dunno if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I hate Esme. She’s such a whiny, hand-wringing perfect housewife stereotype and it drives me crazy.

The meeting can be summed up pretty easily:

Rose: I wanna kill Bella. Ed: No! She’s MY toy! Rose: She’s a risk to us! She might expose us! Exposure would be a fucking bad thing, you dumb ass child! Carlisle, in his wise old man voice: Calm, my child. We are above such petty things, we are bastians of morality and virtue and perfect and shall not debase ourselves. MeyerPires are actually angels, you see, perfect in every way. 

It’s stupid. And I agree with Rose, leaving Bella to just figure shit out is a terrible idea. But I guess since the Vampire Mafia doesn’t exist yet, it’s fine. No one is gonna get pissed about the exposure except for Rose, and SM doesn’t give a shit about Rose, so we shouldn’t either.

I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger.

Here is why I hate the romantic parings in the Twilight canon. EVERYTHING revolves around the significant other. Every relationship is the GREATEST AND TRUEST AND PUREST Love, and they never have to work at it. They go straight into SOULMATES. And the Menfolk are strong and Powerful and have to wrap their Womens up in cotton to protect them from everything. It’s a gross dynamic and doesn’t at all protray how relationships are and should be in the real world.

Edward is still calling Bella ‘The Girl’ and FUCK YOU EDWARD.

And here we get the big reveal that Eddie is in love with Bella. Shock, awe, definitely didn’t see that one coming. But seriously, the fact that Eddie is trying so damn hard to deny it is hilarious. Like, he outright admits to wanting to stalk her, but Love is where he draws the line.

Chapter over with Eddie Wangsting about how he’s gonna end up killing Bella one way or another. Either he’s gonna kill her outright or make her a vampire which he considers a death sentence. We’re gonna get the stupid thing where Eddie thinks Bella just hates him, and this pathetic, will they of course they will because the entire point of this book is to be a love story, will drag on.