#nothing grounds me to reality or to my normal state and im afraid

[moafleco]

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.

[theyscreamjade]

hi!! i binged ur bakugo oneshots and headcanons and absolutely fell in love with your writing style!!

i have a kinda specific request, and if you don’t want to do it that’s totally fine!! Whatever makes you most comfortable :)

So, a oneshot where reader has the “gifted kid burnout” syndrome?? like she used to be good at everything, it came naturally to her, and she was always praised for being amazing, yadda yadda yadda. But when she hit highschool, nothing came naturally, she couldn’t do it all perfectly, so she just. loses motivation. to do everything. she either sleeps all the time or barely, and she’s been lectured by Aizawa for her grades slipping more times than she can count. Bakugo is kinda like her pining bestie??and he notices and asks her about it and she just kinda breaks down?? and they cuddle?? i’m rambling here, again if this is too specific or you just don’t want to do that’s totally fine!! Thank you for writing such amazing works tho!! (●’◡’●)ﾉ

Slipped

I CAN RELATE TO THIS SHIT ON A THOUSAND LEVELS BECAUSE...high school was when I started self-harming and everything just crumbled after that. Trust me honey, it may seem hard now but it’ll get better. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, I’m still trying to break that habit. Thank you for being a Peep! The overwhelming support and everything, I never ever expected this. Thank you so much and I hope this helps!

————————————————————————————————————————

“You’re failing.” Your teacher said to you bluntly as he stood in front of you. The afternoon sun shines through the halfway closed blinds in the empty classroom.

You couldn’t lift your head to answer, your mind was focused on the words he said without a hesitation. You exceeded everyone’s expectations, you were your parents golden child. You were going to do the one thing that your parents gave up to do. You were going to become the best Pro-Hero out there and give your all.

“I-....I-I’ll do better next time.” You spoke to the older adult as he sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of you. “Listen, You’re at risk of being removed from my class. I’ve given and done the best I could to keep you here.” He explained softly while looking towards your hanging head. “You started off great and now you can’t seem to keep up with your peers..or even in training. Is everything okay?” He asked, showing a bit of concern for you.

Time to put those professional acting skills, you sat up and smiled, scratching the back of your head. “I’m okay! I’ve just been busy, that’s all!” You explained as he frowned a bit. “Y/N, You don’t have to be afraid to tal-“

“I’m sorry, Sensei! Trust me, don’t worry! I’ll be fine okay?” You reassured before standing up. “Those grades will be back to normal and everything will be fine.” You explained, waving his worries away before you made your way to the doors. The raven haired teacher followed and handed you your make-up work. You gathered the items needed before you left in a quick hurry. You just wanted to be alone.

Your feet tapped against the ground as the pressure was intense, your mind ran rapid while you prayed that they didn’t contact your parents. That was the last thing you needed. You sat in the common room’s dinning table and began doing your work. You grabbed your pencils and looked at the rows and rows of work as your grip became tighter.

“Heya Nuggs!” Denki said, sitting down in the chair in front of you. “Whatcha doing?” He asked, leaning over in curiosity. You and Denki were friends since elementary school, it’s crazy how retrieving a dime from his nose made you two the best of friends. “Not now, Denki.” You responded, trying to stay focused.

The overwhelming depression weighed down on your chest as everything seemed to be smaller. “Why are you doing work? I didn’t know we had homework.” Denki questioned, while looking over the paperwork. “Denki, Please.” You said, your voice at the urge of snapping as he chuckled. “Typical, Y/N. Always trying to be the best, ever since we were kids you always was the greatest.” He said as your blood began to boil.

“I guess that’s why you’re at the t-“ “IM NOT AT THE TOP DAMNIT!” You screamed, slamming your pencil on the paper, snapping it in half. “IM NOT THE BEST! IM NOT THE GREATEST! I CANT DO EVERYTHING IM FUCKING FAILING!!” You screamed as your friend looked at you, worried. You slapped your hands over your mouth, gathering everyone’s attention who was inside. “Y-Y-Y/N?” Denki started to say while you gathered the papers.

“Y/N! Wait!” Denki tried to call out while you ran out of the room, shaking as your body collided with someone else’s. You glanced at the person before you continued running. You could feel your body shaking as your worst nightmare was becoming a reality. Your shoulder touched the wall as you fought to keep yourself calm. The panic in your heart was rushing while everything felt a thousand times heavier. Your heart was slamming against your chest before you felt a hand lift you up. His head slipped underneath your arm as he swiftly lifted you to bridal style. It honestly surprised you to see your peer, Bakugo carrying you as if you were a princess.

The sheer randomness, somehow calmed your edging panic attack as you sat on your bed. “You okay?” He asked softly as you looked up at him. You nodded softly and sat your books on the seat beside your bed. “What the hell’s going on with you?” He’d ask afterwards. Though he only knew you for the two years of you two being in school after you transferred before your sophomore year. He’s worked with you and knew how you normally were, the sudden change made him worry, but he refused to let you know that.

“Nothing..” you quickly responded as he scoffed. “Don’t lie, What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked, annoyance starting to show as he sat on your desk chair. You couldn’t lie to him, even if you tried. Denki, Deku and Bakugo were the only ones who could crack you open like a walnuts.

“.....I-I’m failing class.” You stated softly. “I-..I’ve worked so hard, I’ve done my best, gave everything my all and I’m fucking failing.” You continued as tears started to flow from your eyes, your hand gripped your scalp while you sat up. “How fucking pathetic of me, I-I went from flying through every test, being at the top with you guys and I’m failing. I-I can’t call myself a hero when I can’t save people! I can’t call myself the best when I’ve failed my tests! I can’t call myself anything! I-I can’t sleep! I-I barely eat or drink! I-“

“Shut up, Dumbass!” He snapped, looking at you. “You’re failing, so what? You’ll make it up won’t you?” He questioned as you looked down. “Oi! You said you wanted to be a hero, you said you wanted to save people just how your parent did, right?!” He asked as you nodded. “It’s a small drop, you should stop holding back your feelings and pushing yourself and relax for once.” He stated, crossing his arms. “When you fall down...I want to be there to pick you back up, just don’t give up Dumbass.” He said while blush covered his cheeks. His sudden wave of affection was way out his normal personality.

You couldn’t help but smile, wiping your tears away. “Thank you, Bakugo.” You replied softly as he scoffed again, making you laugh. Once your anxiety and mind was back in order, you continued on your work. Bakugo stayed and helped you completed it, helping you with every question. Nearing completion, your eyes began to droop. Your vision struggled to stay clear as your mind declared that it needs to rest. “Oi, Dumbass?” He called while you struggled. Considering it was nearly one the morning, who could stay awake after the day you had?

Your head fell at his shoulders as he smiled softly, watching you finally close your eyes. It was sudden instinct and he just wanted to make sure you actually slept for the whole night, your head laid on your pillow while he laid beside you, his back facing the edge of the bed and the door. While he stared, his vision stayed on you while he admired how cute you were in such a peaceful manner. This was something he looked for, the person you originally were. His mind began to drift onto dream world while you were found in his arms, your breathing moving in perfect harmony.

[jadeender]

Battle for Freedom Part 2

Legend stared down his possessed friend, Hyrule’s eyes had turned from red to blue along with his skin taking on a blue hue when Veran possessed him. He (she?) brandished their sword and advanced on the heroes who though armed didn’t attack.

“Legend what do we do? You’ve fought her before, how do we get her out of Hyrule?” Warriors asked as his mind turned trying to think up some sort of strategy.

“We need these seeds, mystery seeds. That's the only thing that can make her leave the body. I’ve got a seed shooter.” Legend quickly rifled through his things and pulled it out. “But no seeds. I don’t know what else to use.” 

Legend turned to look at his possessed friend who was know facing down Four. Four was exchanging blows but trying to be as cautious as possible, he made a sweep to knock out Hyrule’s legs using his short height to his advantage but Hyrule merely jumped back out of the way doing a perfect back flip.

“You’ll have to try harder than that to defeat me.” His voice was an odd jumble of Hyrule’s and Veran’s womanly voice.

“I may be able to help.” Ravio shuffled across the room still wielding his hammer, though it looked identical to the one he had once rented to Legend back during his adventure. Dropping down to the ground next to the crouching Legend he pulled an oddly large sack out of nowhere and began to rifle through before producing a another bag this one small and purple. He pulled back the draw string and revealed it to be full of green question mark shaped seeds.

“Mystery seeds! How did you get your hands on these?” Legend questioned. “They don’t even grow in Hyrule.”

“That’s not important, what's important right now is that we help your friend.” Ravio encouraged. Legend nodded, they could deal with Ravio's shady behavior later. For now they needed to save Hyrule.

Legend loaded the seed shooter with as many as he could and turned back to the fight. Wind had joined Four in fighting Hyrule and the two were enough to hold him back though it was obvious Veran was just playing with them, Hyrule never made any killing blows. 

“I need a clear shot!” Legend yelled to the two currently fighting Hyrule. Four and Wind shared a glance before jumping to the side as Legend shot the seeds forward. They hit Hyrule right in the chest and a light blossomed.

Veran screamed and wretched as she was forced out of Hyrule’s body violently. “I destroyed all of those stupid trees! Where did you get those?”

“You didn’t get them all.” Ravio sassed.

“What are you even doing here merchant? You have no stake in this fight.” Veran questioned as Four and Wind once again advanced on her this time going for the kill. Wind held off her fireballs as Four stabbed at her succeeding in slicing hard through her arm, it was a deep gash a couple inches long.

“She’s not a close quarters fighter!” Legend called. “Keep her pinned.”

Sky and Wild were taking care of Hyrule who was beginning to regain consciousness. 

“What, what’s going on?” Hyrule questioned his eyes once again brown. 

Legend quickly made his way over to Hyrule. “Whatever you do, you need to keep yours and Callous’s emotions under control or else you’ll be possessed again.”

Hyrule took a deep breath and looked Legend in the eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

With knowing Hyrule was ok Legend stood drawing his own sword. Twilight in wolf form, along with Four and Wind were advancing on Veran, Twi had landed a couple cuts and one bite mark on her leg. 

“Don't let her possess anyone else.” Legend called to his allies, he felt anger rising. It outweighed all his self blaming, all of his confusion, and all of his fear. He was tired of being a hero and tired of these adventures, watching his friends get hurt or die. Holding his sword one handed he continued towards her.

Veran tried to fly over their view but Twi jumped forward snapping at her feet forcing her to fly backwards. 

“This is the last time we let you hurt our friends. I will kill you.” The others stepped back as Legend advanced, they knew this was his fight to finish. 

“You can’t kill me boy.” Veran taunted. “You can’t even figure out who you are.” 

“I don’t need to know that to end you.” He said and he went to strike the final blow. Suddenly he felt a calm as time slowed as a voice spoke to him.

“Can’t kill me when I hide within you.” A womanly voice whispered. To his horror Legend found his arm not striking a killing blow on Veran but stabbing Four straight through his stomach on the lower left side. As Veran removed Legend’s sword from the hero's body he feel down.

“Legend!” The other heroes shrieked. 

“No, no no. Get out of us. Leave us alone.” Legend shrieked finding another voice over layered with his own, Legend or Acidics? Which was his and which was the others? He tried to jerk his arm away, to force the sword out of his hand or anything but he couldn’t.

Veran merely laughed. “This isn’t like your pathetic battles between dark and light, I was total control over my hosts.” She removed the seed shooter from Legend’s bag and burned it to dust with one of her fireballs. 

“Now that you can’t force me from this body lets have some fun.”

Veran forced him to dash forward slicing at Wind’s arm, the others backed up quickly. Raising his shield Wind barely kept from losing his arm. As the sword clanged off Wind’s shield Veran raised Legend’s other hand and touched it to the shield. Almost instantly the shield disintegrated stunning the hero who had held it. 

“How did you….?” Wind questioned as he backed up.

“Your friend has been afraid to use his darks powers, afraid of hurting himself and others but I have no reservations.” Veran spoke through his mouth as Legend squirmed. He had always known what powers he had but what would using them make him? Make him Acidic and not Legend? Could this body even handle using dark powers?

Legend saw movement from the side and turned to Hyrule now standing ready to fight while Sky and Wild rushed off to Four, the two of them acting as medics in this battle. Warriors and Ravio had circled around and stood with Hyrule.

“Ah good, more challengers.” veran shot fireballs at Hyrule before charging Warriors.

As Legend Warriors exchanged blows Ravio flitted around trying to look for a place to attack now wielding a bow. 

“Hurry up ravio.” Warriors gritted through his teeth.

“Im trying.” Ravio said pulling the bow back, an arrow notched. He let it fly and Veran doged to the side as it scrapped Legend’s leg. A powerful light broke out again as Veran shrieked. Legend fell to the ground. Veran had been pushed out of him forcefully.

He screamed feeling like his soul was being torn apart. 

“That bitch.” The fragments of a voice spoke in his mind. A voice he hadn’t heard in months.

“Acidic?” He asked as his vision faded away and his fell unconscious.

___________________________________________________________________________

Legend woke back only a minute later, his head pounding. He snapped awake to Sky watching over him. He looked around and found Hyrule standing before Veran. The woman looked terrible, possessing two hosts must have been harder than keeping the same host as she had before. 

Legend to sit back up as he watched this play out. Hyrule was going to be the one to finish her off, it was obvious. Or rather it seemed Callous was going to have the last laugh. 

“I don’t take kindly to traitors, as our friend the captain says, there's nothing I loathe more. I had always intended to do this of course, but now I’ll enjoy it.” Callous said as he swung at the mage who only fired a weak fire ball in return. 

One slash across her chest. Another one at her neck. Her arms. Legs. Stomach. Callous carved her up with the same precision one might a cooked turkey. Finally she fainted to her knees, flying to hard.

Still she smiled as Callous aimed his sword. “I came to exact vengeance, and I’d say I got it. My death may separate you but you will never be free, not now, not ever.”

In a single swipe Callous decapitated her. As her life ended each of them felt a tug, a pull at their very souls. Legend felt it to, a tug that pulled at the fringes of what he felt must be his and Acidics souls, it beckoned them to be free, to be separate.

Across the room there was no great sound or flash of light but quickly five new people appeared in their midst. Noble, Savage, Callous, Stygian, Tempest and Conqueror reappeared ripped from within their lights and once again given form. Callous was already standing back up with Hyrule struggling to get up but the others seemed stunned. 

Time had revertered to his normal form and was sitting there unmoving. Four with his side injured was sitting arms wrapped around himself looking on the edge of tears.

“Legend, Legend.” Wild was calling his name snapping Legend out of his numb state. Looking at the scarred hero Legend blinked slowly trying to come back into reality, his thoughts were numb and he felt cold, cold and wrong.

“Legend, you need to want to separate. If you don’t you will be stuck like this forever. Please snap out of it.” Wild shook him lightly his face serious.

Legend just stared back blankly, he’d heard it. Acidic’s voice. But could he do it? Stand to be apart?

“Legend please.” Wild insisted forcing him to pay attention. “We all want you back, the real Legend.” 

The real him? That's right he needed to be Legend, not whoever he was right now. 

“I’m sorry Acidic.” He whispered, not even knowing if the other was aware enough to know. He grabbed at that feeling, the tug on his soul and he pulled at it until it took him over forcing a warmth through his body. As he once again surrendered to unconsciousness he saw an identical but red pair of eyes staring back at him.

[klobsquad]

If its clean, its Gronk

Warnings: Gronk spikes and tide pods

Word count:1694

Summary: a fantasy/horror/drama based completely on our experiences with Gronk’s cursed tide pod commercial

Notes We apologize in advance for what you’re about to read

i awake suddenly, sheer panic running through me. ripping the blanket off my body, the layer of sweat that lays on my skin is immediately hit with the frigid air of my room causing me to shiver. After a few moments, i start to realize where i am.

I'm in my living room on the couch. This is the first wink of sleep i've had in nearly 2 weeks. i think at least. time has started the run together after it, well, he, showed up. why haven't i slept? i've been too scared to let my guard down.

My phone lay broken, having thrown it against the wall several moons ago. Broken glass and piles of clothes are strewn throughout my apartment. Every electronic in my house has been either broken or hidden, yet somehow he’ll still manage to find me. i haven't left my apartment in weeks even though i ran out of food 4 days ago. I can't go to the store. I'm too afraid he'll be waiting at the end of the isle. I've been wearing the same outfit since it started, too scared to do even the most basic of household chores. doing laundry was banned a months back as an attempt to stop him.

The couch i lay on is pushed up hard against the wall, i'm laying on my side facing the back of the couch. the only electronic that hasn't been thrown out is my living room TV. I swear i've tried discarding it countless times, yet it keeps showing back up. The entire apartment, scratch that, city, is dead silent.

rumor has it, it started in new england, moving fast throughout the country. What started as random disappearances eventually became nationwide panic.

it wasn't long until he reached my home state of Texas. Most of the town had evacuated when the marks started showing up. Crater-like holes in the ground. 11 inches deep and 22 inches wide. The ground cracked and glowing around the marks, showing that he was getting somehow stronger.

Although I boarded up my windows when I caught wind that he was moving towards Texas, I still took a board down every so often. From my third floor apartment, I could see the marks starting to fill the town. He marked his territory right after he struck. Entire families disappeared at a time. Only once was a survivor found. She was found in the same clothing she was wearing when she went missing though they were suspiciously clean, almost as if they'd been washed then returned. She spoke in a hurried whisper, as if he was still watching her. Rumors soon filled the streets quicker than his markings. Apparently after her interrogation she was left alone in a cell at the local jail. When the officer came to retrieve her for more questioning, she had scribbled the number "87" and "bands a make her dance" on every square inch of the cell. Investigator after investigator was brought in, yet none of them could decipher what it meant. After three days of questioning, the only valuable thing they got out of her was a description of him. He was large, solid, his muscles constantly glistening. He towered over everyone, though he wasn't intimidating, the exact opposite actually. He had a boyish charm, soft brown eyes and youthful smile. Apparently he loves to dance, frequently droppin' it low and booty poppin' on them haters. Most notably was his hands. In her words they were "damn near leviathan. I never knew someone could have hands like that. It ain't normal. I'd be lying if it wasn't hot though.". The police were immediately on even higher alert. With such a specific description, it couldn't be hard to find him right? Wrong. She forgot to mention one detail. His speed. For a man of his size, he's unusually nimble.

I snap back to reality at the sound of the metal entrance door 3 floors below me opening and closing. My heart pounding. "Maybe it's just the neighbor" I tried to tell myself, though deep down I knew it wasn't. Even if they hadn't evacuated with everyone else, there's no way Mr. dolly, an 96 year old war vet could open and slam that door with such little effort. my gut and my head were at war. My gut was telling me it was him, the man I spent months hiding from. Yet my head was trying to come up with any other possibility. They were coming up the stairs, fast. I was paralyzed. Still laying on the couch, i covered my head with the fleece red sox blanket I got last Christmas, before this all started.

*BANG* *BANG*

They were knocking. I could barely hear the pounding on the door over my racing heart. Seconds feel like hours, waiting for the sound to stop, for whoever it is to go away.

After what feels like an eternity, the pounding stops. I exhale for the first time in minutes. Moments later a loud scraping sound fills the room.

He's here and he's removed the door.

There was nothing besides me and my red sox blanket separating us both. His presence sent chills down my spine. I could feel him standing in the corner of the room.

He was waiting for something.

*click*

The dim light of the TV immediately filled the dark room. I open my eyes suddenly as patterns of colored light dance off the walls. He's still waiting, but he keeps going back to the hall he came from. Almost as if he's loading something into my apartment. Suddenly the room goes yellow and orange. He gets into position. I turn around slowly, not knowing what to will be waiting on me when I turn around.

There he is, in all his glory. The survivor described him perfectly. He was dressed in a fitted grey tank top, joggers, and sneakers. He was oddly handsome given the circumstances. Unmarked boxes were stacked floor to ceiling, covering ever surface. One box, the one closest to him is open. He grabs a handful of whatever is in the box.

I'm frozen. Horrified.

3.

The tv shows a laundry room.

2.

He looks at  me intently, his boyish smile shining full force in the low light.

It's time.

1.

"Hi! Welcome to tide pods talk with Gronk. I'm Gronk. I'm big, *flex* and awesome. But this guy-" he chucks a fist full of tide pods at my body. I'm utterly speechless. "-Is little, can it really clean?". He rips the doors off my linen closet, scooping every single piece of laundry up in one scoop, even the clothes I'm wearing. Opening the washer, he throws the clothing in with a loud boom before dropping a couple Tide Pods™️ into the load. Im left sitting on the couch, ass naked, as the New England Patriots Tight End does my laundry.

He resumes his spot at the corner of my living room. Staring blankly at me as we both wait for the washer to finish its cycle.

45 minutes of silence later, the washer pings signaling the end of the wash. He once again grabs the entire load of laundry in one incredibly toned arm, spiking it into the dryer like it's a ball into the end zone. He spots my stained patriots jersey in the load. Pulling it out, he slips me a note then once again goes back to the spot in the corner. I'm still naked.

Clearing his throat, he make gesture with his hands I take it as a cue to open the note. It reads "ask Gronk if Tide Pods™️  really clean" in very messy handwriting that I'm pretty sure is done in crayon.

I'm once again stunned.  He holds up the jersey. My once beer and chicken wing stained jersey is now completely clean. He makes another gesture, prompting me to speak this time. "D-do Tide Pods™️ really clean?" Im shaking at this point, not because I'm nervous, but because it's 68° outside and I'm still naked. With the enthusiasm of a kid on a sugar high, he answers the age old question I just asked.  "Heck yeah they do!" His eyes twinkling as he speaks.

The boards blast off my windows. Rainbow light streams into the room. I’m still naked. The missing people immediately flood the streets. He's smiling again, and you guessed it, I'm still naked. A chorus of cheers fills the streets "You saved us! We were stuck in the realm of stained laundry! Bless you!" A tear runs down his cheek as he falls to his knees. "I've been searching for you, thou chosen one. If you may take me, I ask for you hand in marriage. Together we can continue to bring stain free clothing to people across the land!" The crowd outside cheers, completely ignoring the fact homie refuses to give me any clothing. Instead he whips out a ring, and by ring I mean a ring pop band with a Tide Pod™️ hot glued to the top. He slips it on my finger before I can respond. I'm soon being twirled in a blinding golden light. I emerge, fully clothed in a ball gown made completely out of Tide Pods™️. He picks me up bridal style and runs out to the hallway before quickly bounding down the stairs four at a time. In the way down I look at my ring. After not eating for days it looks surprisingly tasty. Bringing my left hand up to my face, he stops dead in his tracks and drops me. My cat like reflexes come into play and I land on my feet, breaking both my legs after falling from such a height. Somehow I'm still standing, the power of Tide Pods™️ holding me up. I immediately pop the ring into my mouth and before chewing. The detergent rolls down my chin. His screams fill the room as he realizes what I've done. "How could you do this to me?!" I look up, like really far up because I’m literally 5’0”, and meet his eyes. I match his boyish smile from earlier, though this time my smile is filled with detergent.

"What can I say? I'm Gen Z."

[inkth]

cream of the crop pt. 1

pairing → mygxreader

genre → angst (in future parts), fluff

warnings → for this part, there are no warnings

word count → 6.6k

okAY so fyi this is unedited for now and i might come back to switch certain things up but oh my god in bon voyage there was a part where yoongi got a strawberry milkshake and i stg this was in my wip waaaay before that so when i saw the gif i think i wailed a bit bc he made it literally canon my friends!!!! hope u enjoy this guys im chwishfsdkfhl

Yoongi just wanted a god damn strawberry milkshake to release work stress. not to be grabbed by the arm by a stranger begging him to role play as some perfect boyfriend or another.

There are a variety of absurd experiences Min Yoongi has been unfortunate enough to cross within his current lifetime.

Thinking back, there was that time Yoongi picked up the phone to his childhood best friend Kim Namjoon, who thought he was being robbed by foreigners on the side of the street at one in the afternoon, and frantically asked Yoongi to please come save him by the way its the sidewalk on 44th street bring a gun!

“What kind of fucking robbers let you make a phone call, dumbass?” Yoongi barked into the phone, pretty upset that his afternoon nap was interrupted by some nonsensical disturbance.

“Oh shit Yoongi, you’re probably right,” Namjoon exhales and stays on the phone with him though, as he tries to solve the mystery of the tourists who just wanted to let Namjoon know that he had dropped a couple bills. They were discreetly carrying knives because they were opening a wood carving stand a block over, Namjoon explained later. Yoongi was quite the unamused listener.

There was another time in his already awfully long life when Yoongi himself was found caught in the middle of a fight between a Minecraft gamer and a ballerina carrying a flower vase, but that was a long story where it finally ended with him being released from custody as soon as the police had determined his innocence.

Or that other glitch in his simulation of a life when he had to bring nine cats home with him after work. Yoongi never knew he had a cat allergy, but he learned it the hard way that night as he sneezed so hard for so long till he couldn’t hear anything out of his ears.

So when Yoongi is feeling something in the air tickle his nugget of a brain that he should skip his ritual milkshake tonight and head on home right away to avoid whatever this coming disturbance is, Yoongi does what Yoongi does best, and he ignores his intuition because who cares, what Yoongi wants is his McFreaking milkshake.

Everything goes smoothly. Yoongi successfully orders a milkshake at the bar. He successfully receives the right order. He successfully starts to drink the milkshake in the quiet serenity of two am on a Monday. 

But then he fails to leave as soon as she comes in the door, the same girl who legitimately flings the entrance open like some wild animal and he is so horrified he can’t look away from this scene and makes the mistake of meeting your gaze.

The damage is done, however. He knows you’ve selected him as your prey among the barren tables save for one lady picking up fries togo and the waitress staring at you in fear.

“Lady, please get off me,” he groans, pulling your fingers off his biceps as if they’re blood hungry leeches. His arm is free for maybe a second before your fingers fly back, grip stronger than before and this time Yoongi really can’t do much with just the one tired, exhausted hand; the one that isn’t holding the milkshake glass. 

He’s whispering a string of curses and damnations at One Week Ago Yoongi for slacking with working out. Or any of his past Yoongis, really. He rests his head on the tips of his fingers, weighing down on his elbow angled onto the table.

“You don’t understand,” you wheeze dramatically, eyes round with terror. Uh, hello? I don’t care enough to understand, Yoongi mentally comments. “My parents, they-“

Sure, you might’ve been exaggerating everything a little, but what’s a little show and extravagance when your damn life is on the line? A matter of life and death knows no tranquility.

He looks at you half lidded; boredom and ‘are you really still talking to me Ican’tbelievetheaudacity’ washing over his face doing a whole awful lot to create a grave aura around him. You can physically see the deathly ash gray energy come off him in waves like something from an anime.

At this point, Yoongi’s thinking he might just ditch you, make a run for it to never see your crazy ass again and the idea is so tempting but instead, he responds. He’s not too sure why, although it’s probably ‘cause he’s paid an awful lot for this deliciously overpriced milkshake that has yet to be completely consumed. But the fact of the matter is he does respond, even thought you’re clearly not in the right state of mind and he really should be telling you to go home.

“Listen, they’re not gunna care if your boyfriend’s a bum. It’s your life anyways, why would they care?” Yoongi notices he’s got about another sip or two of his milkshake and then he can hightail it outta this joint and a certain spazz grabbing onto him.

You let go of his arm, thinking maybe you came off a little too strong and run your hands over your hair to pat down the flyaways contributing to the messy, crazed look.

“Now, I really absolutely must get going… miss,” Yoongi has finished his drink with a content sigh, a little disappointed that the experience was partially ruined with your improv tug of war, but content nonetheless. “Don’t worry, I’ll go ahead and take care of your water,” he reassures you dryly and stands up from the bar’s long legged chair, grabbing his expensive leather jacket. The best purchase he’s ever made in his life, he tends to overshare this fact to anything or anyone with two ears and legs, seeing as how he wears it everyday through wind, rain and the scorching heat.

Your eyes flash in one last lunge of desperation and your integrity flies out the window and disappears into the sky like a balloon. Floating away… peacefully, gone forever till all that’s left is your soulless body embarrassing yourself like this on a Monday at two am.

“Please,” you choke out one last time and sincerity taints your voice, everything you’ve depended on relying on this thin line of his consent. 

There’s something about it that Yoongi finds himself hesitating for as his mind reels from the way your fingers grip the end of his jacket sleeve. 

“I really, truly only need your help for a couple days. I-I’ll even pay you.”

Your eyes dart to the floor from his face with your final push, unable to face rejection one last time from help you so ridiculously need. His body halts, and with this, you take it as a sign for your fingers to relax and stop holding his like some child refusing to let go of their lollipop. 

There’s one thing the weary should know, and it’s that one specific thing hits a chord with Min Yoongi that makes him who he is.

“Shit.”

Hana looks up at you in what seemed like concern and a bit of ‘damn, you live like this?’ tainting her face. You keep going back and forth between looking down at your most recent message on your phone and up to her face, still contorted in confusion unable to face the reality that is your life right now.

You’re not okay, this can’t be happening — everything you had worked up for up until this point, only to be destroyed by your parents’ wrath would be the endgame for your life. You need to lie down and forget this day even happened.

“Are you, okay?” She can’t help but emphasize the ‘okay’ with leaning her head in a tilt.

“Hana,” you squeak out, hands pressed against your eyes till you see stars. It’s late, you’re braincell-less from such last minute studying and you’re absolutely, completely fucked. And not in the nice way you normally would want to be.

“My parents are coming over and want to meet Jungkook.”

Hana lets out a strangled gurgle of terror from the back of her throat as she runs her hands through her dark hair and crawls over to you to peer at your phone screen. Now that she knows you’re fucked, you want to throw your phone out the window and run away. Or just throw yourself out the window. You stand up from your sitting position on the floor and take deep breaths counting to ten and back again.

“Oh my god,” she whispers. “You’re screwed.”

You twist your face and tell her, “Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence! I’ll just have to remember that while trying to explain everything to my parents.”

Hana’s pained smile emits an apologetic vibe as she continues to voice her thoughts. “Damn. Seriously though… what’re you gonna do, I mean. You still have… two days?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” you wail, falling back to the floor and hoping it’ll somehow open up, and take your body into the recesses of the earthy ground. “Is a day or two even enough time for him to come back from that trip?”

“Wait, you mean you would have your parents actually meet him?” Hana looks over at you incredulously. “Like, we’re talking about your boyfriend Jeon Jungkook, right?”

Backtrack – So, okay, yes maybe you had a few flaws. One of them was the fact that you were maybe a little too prideful. As in it’d physically pain you for your parents to know that your boyfriend was a bum who did absolutely nothing.

You had lied to your parents from the very beginning, pulling off the scam with a few explanations here and there saying, “Oh, no he’s too shy. He won’t take pictures!” when your parents wanted to see who this guy was. The occasional “He can’t meet up with us because he’s studying for his very big exam haha you know how these studious nerds are sorry!”

You wince from her tone, speaking as if he’s a demon sent from hell, and start collecting strands of your hair to comb through with worry.

“I mean, if he were here I could play him up as the guy I made him out to be,” you mused. “They don’t even know what he looks like. Probably think he’s afraid of cameras, poor baby.”

Hana looks slightly revolted from your gently verbalized “uwu” and snaps her fingers to garner your attention back onto the matter at hand.

“Wait- I,” you sat back up, all the blood rushing this way and that causing a weird feeling to consume you and you see black for a good three seconds before it dissipates. “Don’t judge me for what I’m about to say.”

“Done,” Hana nods. “I live with you and judge you enough already.”

You look at her unimpressed, lips curled into an unamused smile.

“How about I get a fake boyfriend? Like, right now?”

Hana doesn’t even know where to begin she laughs because she thinks you’re literally joking but then stops when she knows you’re not. “Uh, you do realize it is two am, Y/N. Where are you planning on going to look for an accomplice to role play your perfect boyfriend?”

“Honestly speaking, I’ll probably have to go to a bar or something.” Just saying this out loud was enough to acknowledge that you yourself were not thinking straight.

“You’re just going to walk into a bar and pick up the first dude you lay eyes on is what you’re implying…” Hana trails off, as she begins to re-evaluate the situation. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you sigh, brushing off your jeans as you stand up. “But this is my only option.”

“Well, you could always tell the truth to your mom and dad. You don’t have to be so full of it, Y/N. And listen, you’re 20 going on 21… how much longer are you going to hide this from your parents? You’re literally an adult.”

You frown and start walking out of the room, grabbing a jacket before you head outside and to the car. “I’m not full of it,” you defend your poor self. “I just need my parents to think I’m living my best life with the best boyfriend so they don’t rub in how they were right all this time or whatever overprotective shit they wanna pull on me.”

Hana holds up her hands as an act of surrendering and picks up your phone from the floor to hand it to you. Before it’s passed off however, a pinging sounds and she calls out the notification.

“Your mom texted you to say–“ Hana squints from how dark your phone’s lighting is. “They’re actually planning on starting to drive over tonight and should make it here by tomorrow evening?”

You start to panic, countless thoughts crashing the calm of your mind like stormy waves as you start to assess your problem at hand. You need to find a fake boyfriend, said fake boyfriend must learn what must be learned about you and said fake boyfriend will need to do a good enough job to keep your parents away forever and hopefully this will work because you don’t know what you’ll do the next time your parents come to “check up” on you because they think something’s fishy with this hypothetical fake boyfriend.

You let out what sounds like something between a sob and a groan as you snatch the phone from Hana’s hands and run out of the house, debating between driving to the nearest diner or running away from home.

See, the problem with your parents were that they were overbearing to the point that they even hated the fact you decided to attend college out of state. Mind them, it was only one state away, but it did absolutely nothing to soothe their constant fretting over your wellbeing and life. You were fed up with the relentlessly strict parental control and went crazy in college – finally dating, drinking and partying – although it was still at a good minimum.

To expose to your parents that you were dating an undecided major who spent the money he could scrounge around for on video games was a one-way ticket to hell so in order to save face and keep up the façade that you in fact were living your best life possible, you dreamt up of the littlest, white lie.

Your boyfriend was a perfect boy. One grade above you, one his way to graduating as a summa cum laude. He had an internship and was already guaranteed a job after college as a biomedical engineering major. You painted the perfect picture so you could present yourself in the best way possible to your parents.

The way your hard work was about to be shattered by the way so many coincidences piled on top of each other was a bit frustrating to say the least. You weren’t sure how you kept this a secret for so long and frankly, how your parents didn’t doubt you from the start but now they believed him to be a camera shy, facetime shy boy that only spent his time studying.

You didn’t even want to start on the numerous occasions you and Jungkook had ended a night fighting because of this ridiculous situation, that sure, you put yourselves in. You weren’t sure why you did this, but of course it wasn’t because you were too prideful.

Yoongi never lets money slip out of his hands. Call him frugal, call him thrifty, he doesn’t care. He just knows that if it’s worth the price, he’ll do it.

“Fine. I’ll do this. But I want cash and I want half of the end amount right now,” he knows he’s being demanding and it does look like you reek of eau de poor college student but with the request you’re making, he thinks it’s only fair.

You look teeny tiny and exhausted from the way you crumple your body on the seat next to him and it’s annoying how much work you’re going through because of a simple lie, but you can’t back out now. The way you’ve been explaining the situation to him is really making you sound a little crazy but hey, you’re only human and this isn’t the weirdest situation Yoongi has ever been in.

“How is this even going to work?” Yoongi looks at you as if you haven’t thought this far ahead. “Haven’t they seen his face? Is he even okay with this? Are you running a scam show? If this turns out to be a mess, I want no part of the repercussions.” He squints at you and crosses his arms, eyeing you suspiciously.

“I’m not stupid,” you roll your eyes and scrunch your face from irritation. “They’ve never seen pictures or anything of his face. I’m thankful my boyfriend doesn’t have social media, but I mean, even if he did my parents are technologically inept, anyways.”

“This is so extra, this is like, almost kind of idiotically stupid,” with a snort, Yoongi continues to doubt you. “I can’t believe I agreed to this. You better pay me the remaining amount as soon as this shit’s done. I’ve got things to do.”

“I’m sure you have so much stuff to do concerning your things,” you bite back and have to hold steady the urge to punch his weak looking noodle arm. Just keep thinking about how grateful you are that this sort of handsome spawn of the devil is agreeing to save your ass and livelihood.

He huffs and has the audacity to look offended, loosely crossing his arms across his chest. “Whatever, run this by me again.”

“Okay,” you sigh. You nearly teeter off the edge of the stool from sleepiness, an untouched glass of water in front of you and you watch the droplets trickle down the sides of the condensating cup. “My name is Y/N and yours is Jeon Jungkook. I’m 20 and you’re 21…”

You start to list off factual information and the details get a little blurry as they re-enter his mind because now it’s almost 3:20 in the morning and Yoongi just wanted a fucking milkshake but now it’s like he’s in college all over again, cramming all the notes and tidbits of information he can into his mind to purge it in five hours on the dreadful test. Even though Yoongi’s suffering, he starts noticing these things about you that’s definitely a little confusing to him and gets him a little worked up but in all the right ways.

He pays attention to the way when you laugh you move to cover your mouth with your hand, it’s kind of endearing. Sure, he’ll admit he thought you were pretty behind the air of desperation and super strange vibes you let out when you first marched into the door. Like, perhaps very pretty. He’s not sure but it might be something to do with the shape of your eyes and the pink of your lips. But the tendency you have to tilt your head when you smile is something that Yoongi starts noticing too and–

Yoongi catches himself thinking these thoughts that are so out of bounds and unnecessarily loud. It’s okay, he mentally argues. These are fake boyfriend feelings and it is late. I am exhausted, I don’t know what I am talking about.

And there you have it folks. Yoongi solves this problem of the Case of Weird Emotions with a simple answer. He’s just a really good fucking actor and can get into character so well that he starts thinking the way his character would. That’s all. And now Yoongi is mentally punching himself because he sounds really fucking weird. And fuck, he needs to stop cursing because he needs to be a well polished, dapper, perfect boyfriend.

He shudders and you see it, not because you’ve been looking at him but because he does it in a really obvious way that calls for attention in your peripheral vision.

“Are you alright?” You ask warily, eyeing him because what if he’s having a spasm attack holy shit?

Yoongi grunts with his absurdly deep voice and says, “Yeah, go on.”

“I wish we had more time,” you whine, rubbing your probably bloated face with sweater paws and something tickles Yoongi’s heart from the way you look and speak although he does his best to ignore it.

“It’s okay, I’ll remember this, I’m pretty sure… let’s just try and come up with a code word or something for me. Like, if I don’t know something I’ll say or do something and you’ll cover for me.”

You nod your head and for the first time that night it seems like you really smile and it’s cute, but not cute enough to swindle Min Yoongi’s heart. Of course not.

“Do you know how to crack your fingers?” You ask after a few moments of deep contemplation.

Yoongi suddenly looks small because he’s shoving his hands in between his thighs to cover them from the cold and you almost coo as he nods his head yes.

“Great,” you look away from his figure to calm yourself. “Just do that and then I’ll fill in. That’s the signal.”

“Does this mean we’re done now?” Yoongi’s voice has gotten raspy over the span of time you’ve spent with him because of how he spent most of it just listening to you and barely opened his mouth.

“I dunno,” you nervously gnaw on your lower lip, another habit Yoongi has picked up on fondly. Or not fondly, not at all… at least only fondly with fake boyfriend feelings. “I’m really not sure how this is going to turn out. Thankfully my friend is going to stay at a friend’s house to avoid more possible complications.”

“Alright then, give me a call tomorrow morning and I’ll get over to your place by two in the afternoon.”

You shake your head, “No, come earlier. We need as much time as possible to go over this. Remember? They’re arriving sometime that night.”

Yoongi groans from the revolting sentence he has just been forced to hear and he cries, “But I can’t! You’ve kept me up for this long evil lady, I should’ve been in bed falling asleep hours ago!”

“I’m sorry,” you feebly offer. “But I really need to nail in a lot more with you.”

Yoongi grumbles a wide variety of things under his breath comprised of but not limited to, “You’re lucky you’re cute”, “Fuck, I need a good ten hours of sleep to retain all this information, though” and “Damn it, I want my money”.

“Fine– 11 is the earliest I’ll be there. And are you sure you’re okay with giving me your freaking address? You’re going to let a stranger know where you live and you’re fine with it,” Yoongi lowers his tone towards the last bit in uncertainty.

“I’ll be fine because my roommate is a police force trainee who has armed me with a panic button along with pepper spray. You’ve been warned,” you wiggle your brows. “Plus you’re my fake boyfriend and you want the money. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven.”

You both get up from your chairs, leaving cash tips and Yoongi’s expression changes into one of respect and newfound admiration.

“Duly noted,” he chuckles as he holds the door open for you to walk through, the brisk, autumnal air enveloping you.

Outside in the parking lot you head towards your car and see only a couple other vehicles, one of them being a motorcycle and you don’t think twice about it till Yoongi is waving goodbye to you as he walks in the direction of it.

“Wait,” you call out and Yoongi immediately halts, turning to face you with an expectant raise of his brow. “That’s your ride?” You point at the motorcycle.

He smirks and shoves his hands into his leather jacket as deep black as the galaxy and his hair swirls around from the wind above his twinkling eyes.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

You groan, wondering if you have enough money to fork up however much it would cost to rent a car. You’re pretty sure you don’t, but if it’s for this boy, the best you could pick out on a quiet Monday morning at two, the cream of the crop, you’ve really got no other choice.

You just hope this cream of the crop has a license to drive a car.

The next morning you wake up at eight, sitting up in your plush bed as memories of last night flood your mind in horror. Restless sleep tightened your neck through the night, stress eating away at you and your ability to sleep peacefully.

You groan, peeking at your alarm clock and take a deep breath before you whip your hair out of your face and harden your resolve by sheer will. You pull of the covers and step out of your room, trailing for the kitchen in order to brew yourself some deeply needed coffee.

“Coffee first,” you mumble. Priorities.

Hana is sitting in the living room, a mug on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up as soon as she sees you enter from the short hallway.

“Mornin’ sunshine, there’s some coffee left for you,” she chippers cheerfully. “You got up pretty early. You’re meeting the man of the hour soon, right?”

“Meh, don’t remind me,” you grumble, shuffling into the kitchen and from the coffee machine, you see her kick her slippers off and finish the last of her homework. You pour the still hot liquid holy grail into your Totoro mug and start to mix in cream and sugar seeing as how you’re not as abhorrent as Hana with her love of black coffee.

“But damn, you were just a wreck last night,” Hana teases. “I can’t believe you really got someone to do something this crazy for a girl they just met.”

“It was the money,” you point out, sipping the first few tastes of coffee. It needs a bit more sugar. “I’m so fucken exhausted! Listen, I don’t even have that kind of money to pay him.” You can hear your stash of hidden cash for emergencies underneath your drawer already crying for help. This could qualify as an emergency, you doubtfully suppose.

Hana is still recovering from the surprise of hearing your insane plan worked, even if she found out last night. You remember how you entered the house, satisfied with how quote on quote smoothly the ordeal went even if you were about to be $600 short on money and stressfully sleep deprived the next morning. Hana walked out of her room with sleepy eyes and a bit of bedhead to you getting ready for bed so early in the morning, although she gained a bit of consciousness after hearing how your plan had indeed, succeeded.

Now that it’s the morning and your adrenaline rush had bled away and you’re in a clearer state of mind, doubt starts to trickle in and you are wondering what in hell you were thinking in the first place. You shake the thoughts away and focus on the task at hand.

“I’ll be getting out of the house soon,” Hana comments, starting to pack up whatever textbooks and notes she’ll need for the next day or two.

“You’re the amazingest,” you gratefully smile at her and try to convey your upmost sincerity. As best you could, at least.

“Yes,” she agrees mindlessly. “I am, aren’t I? I am so amazing—so amazing that I am literally leaving the apartment that I share with you for you and the stranger to bond and learn how to role play as lovers. It sounds crazy, I know, but here we are.”

Your smile fades away as you look at her in playful disbelief. “Go to your room, pack your granny underwear and your granny clothes, and leave this household!”

Hana scrunches her nose in distaste, “They’re not granny clothes! They’re retro! And thongs or whatever strip of fabric you claim are underwear are so uncomfortable, literally leavemealonegoodnightDevil!”

You laugh as she prances to her room to stuff her duffle bag full of clothes she’ll need in order to survive for the time she’s gone and you glance at the clock to see it read 8:30, and you go off to your room to get ready for the very. Incredibly. Extremely, long day ahead.

It is at ten that you have finished cleaning up your room, taken a quick shower and waved off Hana out of the home you two share. You walk back inside after seeing her depart safely promising to text you when she arrives, even though it’s the daytime and she’s just a good ten feet away, you never know what could happen. Even if she’s almost a police officer. 

Which, speaking of, she has reminded you countlessly about, telling you to pass on the message that she will personally come to fuck him up if anything happens to you. You appease her with saying you will, but you sure as hell don’t plan on doing so. 

Closing the door, you sigh deeply and it leaves you a little lightheaded as you lean your back against the door.

“Oh, shit.”

It hits you then that this is really happening. Like, your idiotic plan your brain thought up of that you thought was foolproof was really happening. There were so many holes that could expose you in a second and the thought of you being ousted in front of your parents tugged at your pride riddled mind.

The anxiety twitches your fingers as you pull up your phone and it leaves you staring at his message from last night.

yoongi: see u at 10:30

You forget he suddenly promised an earlier time at the last minute and you reckon you’ve got yourself about twenty or so minutes for him to show up at your door. It’s enough time for you to beat your face with makeup and put on some presentable clothes.

At 10:30 sharp he arrives at the door and it catches you by surprise because he doesn’t seem to be an advocate for timeliness. You tug down at your cropped sweater one last time before you open the door to see Yoongi in all his slightly bloated, freshly showered glory.

He looks a bit nervous, seeing as how he kept worrying over this very situation he should never have gotten himself into over the night not to mention what if you sent him the wrong address. Yoongi’s eyes flit from your face to the room behind you but he manages to keep his jittery 

“Hey,” you sigh in relief. “Thank goodness you’re here. And thanks for coming so early.”

Yoongi loses a bit of the nervousness in his system and seems a bit more relaxed than he was when you first met him, probably because he’s gotten a better grip of his surroundings than last night, when he was completely hit with a curveball. In the face. At 500 miles per hour. In the form of you. HIs face loses the tension in the muscles and his lips take on a nonchalant smile. You also notice he’s wearing the same leather jacket as last night and you wonder if he has anything else available to wear.

“No worries,” he says in that gruff voice of his but he clears his throat quickly and yeah, you notice he’s still pretty high strung. This whole tribulation is probably a first for him too.

“Come on in,” you gesture inside, and make space for him to make through. Not that he needed much anyways being the tiny man he is.

“Alright,” he mutters, stepping into the apartment and slipping off his shoes. He doesn’t really pay attention to the apartment anymore but rather your outfit. You wearing sweatpants that still hug your legs and figure looks really good with the bit of skin exposed under the hem of your cropped Adidas sweater and Oh my God shut up, he scolds his train of thought.

It’s just that psychology of attraction at first sight, or whatever. Sure, it’s not his first time meeting you, sure, but you two have only recently met. Yoongi is certain he is a man of strong will. He would never let himself start feelings these things for someone who is already in a relationship.

He tears his gaze away from you before you can notice his burning stare and starts to run his eyes over the layout.

“Well,” you laugh strangely, trying to cover your skittishness. “This is where I live. I guess we can run over what we talked about last night over there on the couch.”

You point at the black sofa and Yoongi nods, walking over to sit down stiffly.

“Did you want something to drink?” You ask, noticing the way he stays pretty quiet. This won’t do. Your fake boyfriend is a great conversationalist.

“No, I’m fine, let’s just go over what we have to. I don’t wanna mess up…” Yoongi trails off and a hint of concern tinges his voice as you smile.

“Sounds good,” you agree.

“Okay, first things first,” you start reciting the basics as you are sat next to him. Yoongi does a really good job of staying on task at first, he swears. He’s listening intently but all of a sudden he’s thinking about how sweet and pretty your voice is and next thing he knows he’s thinking about how hard it is to just even meet your gaze, because your eyes are just such a wonderful outlet of all your emotions it’s really hard to meet them and not just go on and dive into the pool that is you and then—

“We might have to gel your hair back,” you muse softly and Yoongi is shaken out of his schoolboy crush-like trance.

“Fuck no. No,” Yoongi is firm with his decision, holding his hand out to emphasize his stance. “The forehead stays covered.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand and say, “Fine.”

Yoongi notices once again how you have a habit of doing that when laughing and he hates how it’s pretty adorable. 

“How did you get here, anyways?” You ask suddenly. “Not with your bike, I hope…?”

Yoongi grins at you and you notice that he’s one of those gummy grinners and it does a little something to you but you avoid it at all costs and swallow it down.

“I Ubered here,” he said simply. “I figured I could say my car’s in the shop if your parents ask.”

You widen your eyes and nod in approval. “Brilliant! That’s really good Yoongi, thank God I don’t have to pay for a rent a car.”

“Speaking of payment,” Yoongi is reminded of your debt to him at the passing mention of money but is glowing from your praise. “Need I say more? Don’t worry about the Uber fee, I won’t be holding those against you, call it service.”

“How kind of you,” you grimace, hearing the cries of your emergency money once more, as you tell him to stay put. “I’ll be right back with half of it.”

When you count out 300 and carefully tuck the rest away, you turn around to walk out only to see Yoongi peering in your door, arms crossed and looking quite interested.

You jump at the sudden intrusion-like non-intrusion and scowl, asking, “What are you doing here? You scared me shitless and you’re very lucky I didn’t shriek.”

He shrugged, tousling his dark hair from his eyes and replied, “If I’m gonna be your fake boyfriend, I should know what your room looks like. As your fake boyfriend, of course.”

You groan and tell him, “Get a good, quick look around, because here’s your money and now we’re leaving.” You slap the wad of cash onto his unsuspecting palm and push his shoulders out the door.

“I know you kind of know me because of all the information I might’ve been burning into your mind the past 24 hours about yours truly, but I barely know a thing about you and we’re really acquaintences at best, still.”

Yoongi lets you lead him out of the hall into the living room and with a quick look at your lockscreen, you see that it’s still only 11:14. He stuffs the money in the back pocket of his jeans, which fit him quite nicely around the thigh area, if you may say so yourself. 

“Fine,” he mutters and you barely catch it with your already dull hearing.

“What’s fine?” You ask, sitting down on the sofa as he takes a seat as well.

“I said, fine. What do you wanna know about me?” He asks, finding interest in the boring coffee table.

“Uh,” you trail off, unprepared for this kind of a question. “Wait, do I want to know more about you? I should be thinking of you as my boyfriend Jungkook, putting history and information behind you would make it too easy for me to differentiate…”

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a condescending sigh that you somehow know isn’t very genuine. “Just ask three things about me, so we’re not complete strangers,” he offers a compromising deal.

You let it sit with you for a second. If you made a slip up would you be able to recover? It was already hard enough, calling him Yoongi—already so hard enough that it was weird to remind yourself you’d have to be calling him Jungkook in a few hours. Eh, screw it.

“Where do you work?” You ask your first question tentatively.

“I work as a part time server for now,” he replies as if it’s something of a bother. “At the barbecue place downtown.” You have a brief idea of where it is, having passed by it a few times while you were in the vicinity.

“Alright,” you huffed. “What’s your other part time?”

Yoongi looks a bit confused at first with the way you worded it, but he catches on quickly seeing as how he���s got a fast train of thought.

“Oh, yeah. You remember my bike? I wanna go into autotech service. Or something like that, like engineering,” he vocalizes his thoughts and grows a bit red.

“That’s really awesome,” you smile at him and he grows comforted by the idea of you approving his passion. Although he shouldn’t be so—

“Do you have a girlfriend?” This question takes you back by surprise too, and you swear it was a slip of your tongue.

“I—“ Yoongi wasn’t ready, didn’t even think you were one bit interested in his love life but he answers directly. “No.”

For some reason you like hearing that answer, something like satisfaction burns at your tongue and heart and you don’t understand why when you have a perfectly cute boyfriend named Jeon Jungkook (the real one) you can call yours.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where that came from,” you giggle nervously.

Yoongi brushes it off and breathes evenly. He’s not sure why he’s worked up uncomfortably like this and he wants to skip to the part where this is all over and he goes back to moping around, living out his normal, daily routine.

We are acquaintances, he keeps reminding himself.

You two end up talking about yourselves a bit more, because pictures of your dog reminds him of his dog and from there the conversation flows a little too perfectly because now you’re intrigued by the mystery that is Min Yoongi and you want to know more and everything about him. This goes on for the next six hours and it’s filled with so much talking and laughing and you’ve even cooked up lunch because oh my goodness you found ingredients to make pancakes.

Then dawn rolls around as if it’s only been a mere thirty minutes and to be honest, it feels likes you know Min Yoongi more than your own boyfriend Jeon Jungkook.

You shake that last thought off, startled from the way you so abruptly stated that. Internally, of course. 

Yoongi’s barely opened his mouth to ask you another question when-

The doorbell rings and it echoes throughout the inside of your home and holy shit it feels so intimidating and loud and Yoongi just isn’t ready, but can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now if he’s this scared of what’s to come. 

You glance at him almost as if you’re seeking refuge in someone’s comfort so he grits his teeth a bit because between the two of you, he realizes he’s got to stay the rock.

Yoongi narrows his eyes until they resemble somewhat to a feline’s. He’s the rock.

And not just in the Dwayne Johnson sort of way.

oooooookay oh my goodness this is unedited but i wanted it off my shoulders before i got to work so here this is please enjoy but send me feedback or anything you'd like through my inbox thanks!!!

[cosmic-elementalist]

Channeling and Divination

This, in my opinion, is the single most important aspect of Magickal theory.

Each of us, no matter how subjective our experiences may seem, is uniquely and inseparably connected to, part of, and co-creator of everything we might call "divine" or Magickal.

I've seen a lot of people come looking on the Internet when they first start looking into their Magickal potential, and many have been told that the best place to start is to read everything they can pour their eyes over... Not that I don't believe that we can learn a great deal from the experiences and beliefs of other people, I just think that if someone starts to absorb all this second hand information before they develop a strong "inner compass", the most likely result is that they will devote a lot of energy believing things which they will ultimately have to discard.

Not that it's the end of the world to believe something which we later choose not to! We've all been there and surely we are lacking in consciousness if we do not adapt our ideas to the changes life throws at us!

So what would be my advice to anyone with doubts as to how to persue Magick in their lives?

Learn to contemplate!

And before we start contemplating any old thing, I find that contemplating our own consciousness is a pretty solid place to start.

So, contemplation is what some people would call "meditating on" or "meditating about" something. In case you have never tried this before, it can take some time to get into the right mindset for this to work...

but if we start contemplating our own consciousness, it is not even necessary to enter a fully gnostic state of mind - the reflections of the ego-mind must be acknowledged before we can see past them.

Most people, it would seem, are only conscious of the beliefs we create for ourselves as "adults", ignoring the baseline of beliefs that are implanted into us when our egos are being formated; most of us cannot even remember our full childhoods, and yet this is a time we are programmed and conditioned to the extreme.

We come so pure into this world, without filter, Intent connecting only to the Will to Live, and as our other Will(s) develop, this process is normally corrupted by the expectations society has for us. We are molded and punished at every turn for not complying to the rules of a world full of frustrated adults. Most of this conditioning is so traumatic that it eventually gets repressed, but we continue to be plagued by the reprecussions of over-bearing toilet training (one of the few things a baby doesn't need to learn, but when we put them in diapers because it's "conveniant" they loose touch with their natural ability to communicate this need), getting yelled at for being curious, getting punished for self - love, or whatever else the people who thought they were doing did to us for our supposed well being.

Some people call this shadow work, some psychology, no matter what you call it, I don't believe it's possible to perform integral Magick without having swum in the seas of our darkest nightmares.

If we regularly take the time to question our beliefs, in a calm and dedicated fashion, we can begin to fine tune our instincts. We learn to get a feel for what we believe but are willing to keep investigating, the things we know, all be it in an abstract fashion, and the things we feel repulsed by (and should therefore learn to investigate skeptically). And remember, if we are really afraid of something, its best to take precautions in case the worst should happen. In my experience, it often does, as is the "law of atttaction"... But if we are well prepared psychologically, the realization of our greatest fears is cathartic at the least, and freeing at its best.

Once we can more comfortably recognize our personal "thought - forms", our contemplations can begin to explore the collective-consciousness. In my opinion, it is essential to recognize the voices inside our own minds before we explore the collective mind, but all too often this is not the case (since most people are not taught we have "telepathic" abilities) and we mistake a voice that is not our own to be the source of our will! For many people, this can be as simple as internalizing mother's thoughts about us, to something far more complicated...

The ancient greeks believed that almost all thoughts were messages from the gods, and now a days someone is likely to get drugged and detained against their will for that, but im pretty sure that does nothing to cure the real problem!

The collective-consciousness, in my opinion at least, has a will of it's own, even if that will is just some sort of residual collective will... even if we try to look into the collective-collective-consciousness (like, involving all being in all existance and nonexistance), we will always be looking through some filter of pre-conceived "reality" which inhibits us from experiencing the full depths of existance and non existance.

Normally, the depths which affect us in our daily lives are the ones anchored in our present time-space. Just as we transmit our thoughts to the Aether, the collective-consciousness is right there, in the mind-scape outside our personal minds. This is normally a semi - permeable destinction, which is why things like "grounding" and "meditation" are so important if we want to channel things from the Aether!

Most of us find that channeling, much like manifestation, is something we have done long before there was a word in our personal vocabulary to describe it.

Divination

Divination is basically how we name the tools for setting the mood, allowing us to see through a thinner filter, and yet, the symbology implied by all divination techniques necesitates the belief in those symbols (which is a basic definition of a filter). In my opinion, it becomes important to study cultures different from our own, worldviews different from our own once we have learnt to play with belief, so as to avoid creating a harder ego-filter, rather than a more transparent one...

There are many forms of divination, all relating to the symbols most likely to bypass the rational, filtering mind...

This often has to do with facing taboo as a way to free ourselves from conditioning and to "see" clearer...

Other symbols in divination might rely on over stimulating or distracting the rational mind, giving it a "complete" symbol set to represent the world, as tarot intends to do.

Im going to have to dedicate a separate post on forms of divination, let me just finish this by saying that with practice, and plently of self - contemplation, it is possible to channel any information without the help of symbolic tools such as divination. Keep in mind that we don't all percieve the Aether equally - some percieving it through their "sight" some "feeling" "hearing" "smelling" "knowing" "tasting"... if you choose to filter your channeled information through a "god" or whatever facilitates your connection!

More of my posts on divination:

Interpretation ( contemplation and intuition )

Entering a Gnostic State of Mind

Divination

Extra Sensory Perception

The Main Reason a Spell Doesn't Work ( or a divination is inaccurate )

"Truth"

"Logic"

Why it's important to share (even when we might be wrong)

Summoning Lost Objects

[kappasigmalife]

Desolate Caladium: Chp 4 Madness of the Heart and Mind

Desolate Caladium: chapter 4

Madness of the Heart and Mind

As I brought callum into the cabin with Evelyn’s help, I began to notice his head was burning. It must have been from the shots fired at us, there was no sign of anyone out there and I had to ensure no one was going to follow us out here. Evelyn told me she would watch the outside and let me know what she found while I tended to callum. It was twice to one that we saved one another, not much else can be seen from that other than a life debt. I remember my training well and got his fever down quite a bit but his wounds were much more severe than I imagined, with his back burned by magic bullet wounds, most likely fire. Had I been properly watching out for everyone id have been able to keep myself from falling victim to a damsel in distress motif? It didn’t matter as the two of us were still heading slowly to the new life we wanted away from the kingdom, but if im going to be a burden to him like this, is it worth it for me. Remembering he kissed me on the forehead, I gotta snap back to reality, there isn’t any use being a sniveling coward about any of this. Evelyn will help as much as she can but shes still weak from hunger and callum is out of commission.

“evelyn, im going into town for a while to get aid for callum, watch over him for me.” “you got it desmond, ill make sure hes safe.” as I left I knew in my stomach something was up with her. Why in the world would she appear here of all places and while we were camping out in the first place. It didn’t matter to me though, I needed some red leech tree bark and lavender for a ointment for him. Although the ingredients are quite expensive they will be well worth it for better recovery. While returning with supplies and some food, I catch evelyn talking to a tall man wearing a red cloak with a broadsword on his back. Getting closer I cant believe what I was hearing from the two of them.

“you idiot, I told you to wait til I gave a signal, I didn’t wanna hurt him.” “you told me to attack when you were found so I did, you know these magic items are hard to control” “fucking hell, hes hurt all because of our need for food, what a debacle.” “im sure things will get better as soon as we explain it when he wakes up” no way of knowing if he will or not, things aren’t exactly good with that, our shots really did a number on him.”

“oh man, well no harm no foul, I say we grab some of that foods he has stashed and split.” I noticed evelyn slapping him and looking as if she was crying, approaching the two the cloaked man disappeared and left Evelyn alone to talk with me. She explained how they went rogue in the kingdom and had to live off the land but being on the path of one was tiring and found a alve she freed with some of her savings and gave him a job as a guard, even buying him a broadsword. I could tell he is inexperienced and lacks control over anything, but he does look well defined by labor work. As I invited her back inside I began making a herbal remedy to heal callum, only to see that the marks are fading faster than expected, leaving nothing but small scars on his body. Although healed he still hasn’t awoken. Evelyn warned me not to wake him as the last time that occurred, someone nearly got killed, she mentioned it was something about his mage craft that changes his personality a total 180 and effectively would make everyone an enemy.

“its not worth it, he needs to wake on his own, not by force, trust me I know, hes a monster when in that state.”

“you sure this guy who is kind enough to travel with his ex and a doctor, is a monster when woken up.” “listen civilian ive known him for many years and I know what in talking about, he isn’t supposed to be woken up or else the consequences will be irreversible .”

Despite what I thought, she had a point, she knew him longer than I ever have and it wasn’t fair to usurp dominance over someone that was trained in royal courts all her life to deal with whatever the case may be with callum. As the day went on I decided to do some hunting, finding mostly some doe and birds to cook up for supper. When I returned I noticed that there was dead silence everywhere, curiously I thought that both evelyn and callum would be asleep due to the days events, but I was sorely mistaken. Out of nowhere a hole ripped open from the cabin with the cloaked man being shot out brandishing his broadsword covered in blood. From the smoke I saw callum covered in dark runes with hollow black eyes staring dead in the mans eyes no emotion or life whatsoever.

“I can contend you wanting food, but to go this far just to awaken a primal urge from your own volition needs to be punished.” “really now floating ball of denial, why don’t you make me.” I watched as callum created a small sphere of navy blue magic and launched it at the cloaked man.

“Alfan!!!!!!!” I couldn’t believe it as he slowly looked down at the beaten man, and grabbed him by the neck.

“you dare awaken a prince filthy slave, the girl gave you a name, alfan, ill remember it when your gone.” He flung the young man into the trees smashing him into a large oak, chasing after him I noticed callum meeting my gaze and just started walking to the direction of the crash. I wanted to help but I froze in place, is that who he is, some demonic mage bent on murder all to remain asleep. Now I get why he stayed away a long while and slept in seldom shifts. He wanted to remain calm instead of breaking out in a fight the minute something went awry. I picked evelyn up who suffered a broken ankle from the debris and told me that the state callum is in is from his mothers side.

“his mother is a moon elf, a divine being of the night capable of lost magics from beyond our grasp, her son bears her magic seal giving him the blood line to the moon and its secrets, he knows the arcane arts like the back of his hand as well as focus on the prospects of being the rightful heir to the throne of two kingdoms, now you see the power that comes from the royal blood.”

Evelyn has me carry her to the forest where we see the two continuing the fight. Alfin still trying to use his sword to no avail, simply missing every swing.

“a barbarians sword in the hands of a slave, is still nothing more than an oversized gardening tool.” thrusting his palm into alfin he pushes him into the trees again hearing a cracking of his bones.

“bastard took out one of my ribs” “and I shall crush the rest, mongrel” I looked away as I realized he repeatedly punched alfin in the gut breaking more of his ribs leaving him on the ground.

“picking a fight indeed was foolish  but you did allow me to be free of that prison for a while, so thank you, now whose next to challenge the prince of the moon elves, heir to the queens magic as well as tremis’s kingdom.” evelyn grabbed me and covered my mouth, signifying that this wasn’t safe and trying to get near him only would aggravate things further.

“come out come out evelyn, don’t make me hunt you dear, or I may have to burn the forest down.”

Evelyn looked at me with sincerity in her eyes that someone capable will snap him out. that instant I really understood what the dangers of leaving the kingdom entitle, callum doesn’t want the crown magic, or even power, he wants to be far from that things plans as possible.

“stay put I got this taken care of, hey prince wanna fight the princess.” “why of course, always wanted to ensure that the two of us wedded, but alas we were unable to ever have a proper match, given societal breakdowns of womens roles, keeping them as wives only stifles their warrior potential, like that slave over there.” “I saved him caladium, remember you gave him away to escape being made a sacrifice by the church, you gave him a name.” “right and fighting a queen is what im doing.” Evelyn calmly begins trying to get callum, only to be brushed off as nothing, being bombarded by light spells that cause minimal damage to her.

“what happened? You said he wouldn’t be a problem” “I know des but that thing isn’t callum anymore, the more he awakens the more hes capable of staying in control. His father and mother weren’t exactly the best parents.” I noticed that callum was growing weary of his stance and was regressing to his normal gaze although in one eye. But as he calmed down I noticed he was talking to himself.

“keep out, stay back, why control me now after 10 years.” “power is what you want the throne is yours.” “I don’t need it to help people I want to be gone as a martyr of peace and neutrality not of calamity and desolation.” “give in you know you want to.” “never again” as he finished I noticed him returning to normal again and falling down from exhaustion. Evelyn picked alfin up and told me to get them both to a inn keeper to be doctor. As we watch outside we come across the doctor examining both of them for abnormalities. Chris woke up shortly after and promptly tried walking despite much of his mana being eaten. I helped him up and I could tell he was crying from his eyes.

“im sorry you had to see that, I never thought that would come out again, it wasn’t fair for you to deal with it.” “are you kidding you worried me to death, I wasn’t afraid I was concerned you would make it out alive from that.” “no worries desmond, ill be more careful next time, but for now im very strained so im gonna go to the hot spring.” taking a cane I watched him limp out as alfin was operated on and making a recovery, the doctor allowed for him and evelyn to stay as long as possible until he recovered. Walking out I watched callum enter the entrance to the springs and followed suit. He was weak but I know he needed alone time to process the circumstances of what occurred, but part of me wanted to make sure he was okay so I snuck behind the rocks and watched as he began stripping down to his skivvies getting in the hot water.

“my oh my, did I truly need this tonight, desmond I know your out there, come out now I can sense your life force.” “sorry, I didn’t know if you wanted to be alone.” “just join me okay, holidays are coming up soon, all grace day comes our way in two moons.” “I didn’t know about that, sorry.” “why are you still dressed, get in the water before you freeze.” I took my clothes off and join him on the opposite side. It didn’t take much to get him to smile again, drinking a little rum really helped boost his mood effortlessly.

“I cant thank you for carrying me to the inn, it was a nice gensture when I lost myself.” “it…. Was no problem callum, please don’t hold it over me.” “of course not, im just happy to be alive and just relaxing for once, I wanna spend the holiday without crap coming back for me.” “I can hold that to high regards.” “hold on, I wanna give you a grace days eve gift, close your eyes” “fine” As I close my eyes I felt a cold metal go around my neck, when I opened my eyes it was a silver and black amulet necklace shaped in a cross. I saw the ring I wore that he bought before leaving was the same as the one he just gave me.

“I know cost a lot, but I figured a matching set would have a good look on you, plus the gems match your eyes.”

“I don’t know what to say, I love it.” As I began to notice the snow falling under the clear skies, callum came close to me taking my hand and softly kissing me with tears running down his face.

“I think I may actually love you.”

[maude-lebowski]

So scary shit happened last night and maybe nothing's gonna happen but tbh I admit I'm honestly genuinely kinda super terrified - So like I joined my friend group's PS4 Party when I got on last night per usual, but I could tell something was off right when I joined? 'Cause the moment I joined and said hi, immediately everybody started yelling st me like "XENA don't TALK DON'T FUCKING TALK MUTE PRO [part of this random dude's username] NOW!! MUTE HIM FUCKING NOW!!" So I did, and I asked what was up, and they informed me he was a hacker who'd been fucking with them, and that they couldn't even kick him from the Party somehow. And I could tell it was serious because my friends in this particular group - all of who [except Black] are teenage boys, normally super chill, and are typical teenage boys "I never show fear and talk mad shit to people who I feel deserve it because ADOLESCENT MASCULINITY!" [altho they're all mad sensitive & soft AF in reality 😂] were FREAKING. OUT. Like my friend Eskay [probs the biggest "idgaf" attitude publicly of all] was literally hysterically sobbing, as was Indian. Even Black [my PS4 BFF] was super serious, when he's normally a clown practically 24/7 [& only serious when in private w/ me]. But apparently no one knew this guy Pro, no one knows where he came from, he joined totally outta nowhere, and just immediately started doxxing everyone. Fortunately we all know each other real well and are maaaaad close so it's no issue let alone danger whatsoever that this info was revealed to everyone else in the group, but that's not what scary - it's the fact that this guy knew it. And he knew EVERYONE'S. EVERYTHING. Like he knew everyone's full names, family's names, home addresses, phone numbers, schools, even shit like stores they frequented [like the store Eskay buys chips & Sosa at everyday], the golf course Indian plays at every week and the shooting range he goes to, it was fucking CRAZY. And then it got crazier - he started sending texts to them all from unknown numbers just stating random facts about them, started calling from an unknown number and just breathing into the phone. And he started threatening everyone, too. Saying he was going to call their schools pretending to be them giving bomb threats; saying he was going to swat their houses, shit like that. Eskay had a pizza delivery man show up at his house with over $100 in pizza he didn't order. And he temporarily turned off several of the guy's internet. And he could hear everything we were saying even tho w had him muted. And he was really insistent that he was going to take all of our PSN accounts, and that it was only a matter of time before he did, saying any day we'd get on our systems to just find them gone. We tried to do something about it, but it's like we're at a brick wall. Everyone (including myself) called Sony, but they were totally worthless. They just basically said "Oh we'll investigate it and then decide whether action is necessary, which could range from temporary suspension of his account to a total ban of it." But that'll all take forever and none of that would do fucking anything anyway if he's a fucking hacker. And several guys tried to contact the police, but they just basically laughed at him like "lol cyber bully big deal so get offline call us after he actually physically hurts someone." And tbh I'm genuinely preeeeetty terrified about this. Hackers scare the fuck outta me anyway, I mean I'm like REALLY paranoid of them. I'm genuinely always SO fucking terrified of losing my PSN account, it's like my everything because of how limited my disability makes my life and how it keeps me so isolated and limited physically, it's practically my whole social life, I've put so much work into it. So, so many years of work - Im PSN level 10 [almost 11]; I'm a trophy hunter; I have SO many saves; I'm a high ranked Assassin's Creed Initiate; I have a fuckton of Uplay points and a high level account; my GTA Online character is high level, runs a dope crew I built from the ground up, has SO. FUCKING. MUCH. shit that I've spent literally hundreds of hours working my ASS off for and is just generally extremely fucking important to me; I've worked hard these past couple of months on my Overwatch character and have tons of special limited shit; I have a ton of friends, some of who I may not be able to [at least easily at all] find again; and I've put a pretty fucking decent amount of money into that PSN account between digital games, DLCs, and add-ons. Like I just CANNOT lose that account. It may seem trivial, but fucking goddamn it means so goddamn fucking much to me that I literally can't even properly express it with words. That account and the friends I've made thrpigh it and the accomplishments I've achieved have been what's legitimately helped to give me my life back. I cannot fucking lose it, I just can't. And hopefully I'm just afraid for nothing. I really, really hope that. But today I've already received several phone calls from an "Unknown" number - didn't answer if course. Maybe it's coincidental. Hopefully it's just coincidental. But man I'm scared, and I just had to let that shit out. God I hope it's just some fucking asshole getting his jollies from scaring innocent people (and kids) and not an actual fucking psychopath. But for real, I do not undersides people like that at all. I just don't fucking understanding them. Why?! Fucking why?! //EndRant

[ladyofdespair-blog1]

Just a heads up, if I see any stupid political posts today that aren't backed by legitimate sources or are flat out ridiculous, I will hurt your feelings. I will call you out on it. I'm giving you fair warning that you will hate me today. After all, we don't need any of that "political correctness" anymore right? By sharing political posts, you are inviting others to engage in discussion, keep that in mind. Politics are not a football game. You don't decide who to support based on family. These are very real decisions that will affect the planet and future generations to come. I care about my planet deeply, but I also love pickup trucks and diesels. I think we should work on ways to provide clean energy while maintaining our current status. Coal miners are seriously tough cookies, they only want to provide for their families, but the reality is that its terrible on their health and work conditions, not just the environment. We have to think of our actions and how they affect future generations. I want a planet for my child. I don't want to see people die of preventable causes. I know plenty of family and friends who suffer medically and small problems became big because they can't afford it. I 100% support a single payer system where we collectively help each other. Socialism does work on small scales, which is where state is important. I also do not trust the government to make it work. I care about my reproductive rights. I do not think other people should make decisions about my body. Abortion is more than this emotional killing babies propaganda. The science determines that an embryo does not feel pain or has a developed nervous system. I think women should have access to it before it becomes developed. Seriously the more difficult you make it to have one, the more it becomes an issue. Also most later abortions happen because of medical reasons. People do not use it as a form of birth control, it is a difficult decision women have to deal with. If you outright ban it, women could die because of it. I care about poverty. I don't think anyone should starve in 2017. We have progressed as a society that nobody should ever have to. We seriously have an issue with rich politicians taking advantage of hard-working people. This is a rich versus poor thing. It pains me to see how many people work their asses off only to make it by barely, while simultaneously convincing you that it's illegal immigrants and black people who are at fault. It's just to distract you while they rob you blind. It pains me to see people support capitalism when the whole point and core is to crush everyone to get to the top. They also say anyone can be rich. That's not the way capitalism works. Of everyone is rich, nobody is rich. People are so selfish that they want to be on top. I support gun rights, for protection and recreationally. Seriously, I adore guns. I did nothing to earn my citizenship. Hell we all know people who just exist and have contributed nothing to the betterment of society. Jose down the block who came to work for pennies to support his family is not toppling the government. Seriously we can't toot that we are the best country in the world and not expect people to leave their desperate situation in search of a better life. Illegals only consume about 12 million yet contribute double that. Why not make citizenship easier so they can pay taxes. Don't demonize the ones who can't afford it, watch out for people who can just buy it, they are cartel launderers. Plus they have hella delicious good food. I also think people should be able to smoke marijuana. Or eat it. Whatever floats your boat. Politics should not be an emotion game, it should be supported by very real information. And I'm not talking about Fox news OR CNN. Please keep in mind also that disdain for one is not support for another. I want a society that does fundamentally function for the people for equality. I feel like we have too much government in some places and not enough in others. So at this point, I honestly don't know where I stand on the political spectrum. I hate trump, I hate Hillary, hell I dislike a lot of Obama's policies, even though he seems like a pretty funny guy who means well. Bernie may be a socialist ideological hippie, but he seems like the only dang genuine politician who cares about us, the little guys. I saw him in NYC in passing on the street. Just a regular grandpa guy looking out for his grandkids. I don't feel like I'm an evil person for wanting everyone to be safe and loved, to have access to healthcare and education, to not suffer, yet im considered fascist, communist, socialist, snowflake, feminist, etc. That's why it's really hard to sit in a small town and see people worship trump when he does not give a shit about us. He is a businessman who only cares about his buddies. Plain and simple. A crocodile will not drain his swamp, it's his home. It is not a minority vs us issue. It is a rich vs poor issue. We need major reform. It is going to take burning everything to the ground in order to start over and rebuild. We need to overhaul and fix everything, scrap it, start over. Rewrite everything, redesign everything. From healthcare to education to climate, to immigration to business to criminal justice system. We need to rewrite it with a modern mentality. The founding fathers were okay for their time but it's time for a new start. We have evolved. I was born in a place prided in its closed culture with a desire for outside things. Instead of normal human behavior of having fear at different and unknown, I found that I loved it. I wasnt afraid to hop on a plane and fly thousands of miles away by myself to find out how things were. The world would be a better place if we took that plunge instead of allowing people to tell us how to feel. But what do I know, Im just a silly girl with a big heart and big dreams.