#nutriboom
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Everyone me and Alice were married done deal so it’s time to back off I fear find your own wife 😒 or I will find you
(And I love you more I don’t make the rules)
yes I am married. and no this is not against my will!
#aliceyappingagainandagain#☆ alice yaps☆#alice speaks#asks#aliceanswersasksim#im happy#healthy and alive#brooklyn nine nine#nutriboom
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shout out to the shows that have an iconic phrase that consists of random noises put together and everyone in the fandom knows what you’re talking about
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I’d be fire at handling a pyramid scheme
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[Nutriboom person voice]
Bobby Nash is happy, healthy, and alive
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@perfumeaddicted AND I DID A HEAR ME OUT CAKE WITH BROWNIES AND OHHHH MYYYY GOSHHHH
Hers
Ghostface
Andrew Jackson from the 10 dollar bill
Billie Eilish perfume
Doofenshmirtz
The invisible man from hotel transylvania
Sirius Black
The wild cratts
NutriBoom (boom boom!) from Brooklyn 99 💀 😭
The onceler
Mine
Zed from Zombies
Harry Hook
Peter Pan
Rodrick Heffley
Brian Bell
Pippin lotr
Ryan Evans
Grape Fanta
A stapler
Also the onceler
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I'm watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5x16 "NutriBoom"
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I just watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5x16 "NutriBoom"
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Ah, NutriBoom...
The episode that showcases that Ponzi schemes are also cults.
Edit:
Also Amy found out that she has her own "Amy" in the squad.
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I woke up today thinking about the NutriBoom slogan/catchphrase from that one episode of Brooklyn nine nine
boom boom fellas
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NUTRIBOOM
I LOVE THE DIVIDER OMG
ITS like what Jake said
"COCAAAAINE"
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5x16 "NutriBoom"
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
Bland. Amy must deal with someone just like her (Drew Tarver), while Jake and Boyle go after the organisers of a pyramid scheme. No big laughs. 6/10
Discuss on Trakt
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-2021) [II]
See Brooklyn Nine-Nine post I season 1-4
Season 5
Episode 1: The Big House: Part 1
Episode 2: The Big House: Part 2
Episode 3: Kicks
Episode 4: HalloVeen
Episode 5: Bad Beat
Episode 6: The Venue
Episode 7: Two Turkeys
Episode 8: Return to Skyfire
Episode 9: 99
Episode 10: Game Night
Episode 11: The Favor
Episode 12: Safe House
Episode 13: The Negotiation
Episode 14: The Box
Episode 15: The Puzzle Master
Episode 16: NutriBoom
Episode 17: DFW
Episode 18: Gray Star Mutual
Episode 19: Bachelor/ette Party
Episode 20: Show Me Going
Episode 21: White Whale
Episode 22: Jake & Amy
Season 6
Episode 1: Honeymoon
Episode 2: Hitchcock & Scully
Episode 3: The Tattler
Episode 4: Four Movements
Episode 5: A Tale of Two Bandits
Episode 6: The Crime Scene
Episode 7: The Honeypot
Episode 8: He Said, She Said
Episode 9: The Golden Child
Episode 10: Gintars
Episode 11: The Therapist
Episode 12: Casecation
Episode 13: The Bimbo
Episode 14: Ticking Clocks
Episode 15: Return of the King
Episode 16: Cinco de Mayo
Episode 17: Sicko
Episode 18: Suicide Squat
Season 7
Episode 1: Manhunter
Episode 2: Captain Kim
Episode 3: Pimemento
Episode 4: The Jimmy Jab Games II
Episode 5: Debbie
Episode 6: Trying
Episode 7: Ding Dong
Episode 8: The Takeback
Episode 9: Dillman
Episode 10: Admiral Peralta
Episode 11: Valloweaster
Episode 12: Ransom
Episode 13: Lights Out
Season 8
Episode 1: The Good Ones
Episode 2: The Lake House
Episode 3: Blue Flu
Episode 4: Balancing
Episode 5: PB & J
Episode 6: The Set Up
Episode 7: Games of Boyles
Episode 8: Renewall
Episode 9: The Last Day Part 1
Episode 10: The Last Day Part 2
Watch on Netflix
See Brooklyn Nine-Nine post I season 1-4
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Five vs One
Summary: Five times you and Rosa kissed for show, and one time it was for real.
Word Count: 2,586
Pronouns: Implied she/her/hers
Published: 12/28/2022
Author's Note: My obsession with Rosa Diaz continues
Trigger Warnings: Some swearing, mentions of drugs, general police shit
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1. Stakeout
You've been friends with Rosa for years. Ever since you transferred to the 99, she's been your partner. You work most of your cases together, you're the only member of the 99 that's actually been to her apartment, and you would say that you know her pretty well.
The silence is comfortable as you sit in the car. The two of you are on stakeout, trying to catch some poor drug dealer.
You yawn.
"You good?"
"Tired. I can't believe we have another hour of this shit."
"You want me to grab you a coffee? I'll buy."
"I won't say no to that."
Rosa comes back ten minutes later with your usual order, handing it to you as she slides into the driver's seat. "Anything new? Or is he still waiting for the buyer?"
"Still waiting, but I think he's getting suspicious. He saw me in the car, but I pulled out my phone and pretended I was calling someone, so I don't think he made me."
"Good."
You take a sip of your drink, once again lapsing into comfortable silence. The drug dealer (you can't remember his name) looks over at you again. He starts walking over to the car.
"Shit." You look at Rosa. "He made us."
"No, he didn't."
"What-?"
You haven't even finished getting the word out when Rosa pulls you forward into a kiss.
"Go with it," She says against you, but you decided to do that the moment it happened.
"Yep, doing that." You break away from her, face flushed, and look over at the dealer. "He went back."
"Good."
You both sit back into your respective seats. You're freaking out, but you're trying not to show it.
"Sorry. It was the only thing I could think of."
"It's fine."
2. Operation: Broken Feather
"Commence Operation: Broken Feather."
And with those words, everyone's off to their varying positions. And yet, nothing works. Charles spills his coffee, but the Vulture just wipes it off. Rosa flirts with him (you see red), but he moves on. For once, he's not interested.
"I can't believe I'm gonna do this." You march over to Rosa, determined and praying that Jake can get the confession soon. "No time to explain, come on."
You take Rosa through a back way. You stop where you know the Vulture will come out of the stairwell he took to get from the bathroom to the squad's floor. "Trust me?"
"Yeah."
You grab Rosa, pulling her into a kiss just as the Vulture comes out of the door.
"Woah!"
He stops for a few moments, staring, then you hear his footsteps recede.
"Damnit!" You say, pulling away once you're sure he's gone. "I really thought that was going to work."
"Uh...Yeah."
"Sorry. Only thing I could think of to stop him."
"It's fine."
3. Tactical Village
"How come you're so mad at Boyle?" You ask, creeping down the hallway. Charles is a few feet ahead of you, but you're careful. Quiet.
"He didn't invite me to his wedding."
"You can be my plus one."
"If he didn't invite me, that means he doesn't want me there."
"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. Just talk to him."
Rosa wrinkles her nose.
"Yeah, I know, feelings are for losers. But give it a try, okay?"
"Fine."
You hear something up ahead. Charles ducks through a side door, but there's nowhere for you and Rosa to hide.
"I have no clue if this is going to work," Rosa says, "but I need you to trust me."
"You know I do."
"I'm going to kiss you. When the perps come through, shoot them."
"Got it. You know we're being watched, right?"
"Yeah."
She presses her lips against yours, and you melt into the kiss like you always do.
Part of you wishes that you could do this more often, but you know that's not possible.
You hear footsteps, drawing closer.
"Woah. Uh, sorry."
You pull away, gun already in hand. You shoot one guy, and Rosa shoots the other. Green paint splatters across their chests.
"Don't be." You say. "It was just a distraction."
4. The Wedding
"We have a problem," Amy says.
"What's wrong?" You ask, pausing in your frosting of Rosa's wedding cake.
"Rosa's drunk."
"How?"
"Bellinis."
"I got it." You set your frosting bag down, wipe your hands on your apron, and set off for the small room Rosa's hunkered in.
"(Y/N)!" She slurs. "I'm getting married."
"Yes, you are. Which you need to be sober for. Come on, let's get you some water."
"No." She drags out the word, but you stand your ground.
"Rosa, you need to be sober to get married."
"Do I?"
"Yes." You sit down across from her at the table.
"You should have a drink."
"Absolutely not."
"You're so wound up! Why are you so stressed?"
"Because your wedding is today, Rosa, and you're currently drunk off of champagne, of all things. I mean, really, it's half bubbles."
"Yeah, but you shouldn't be stressed. This isn't your wedding."
"No, it's not. Which is why I'm going to drink my way through the ceremony and reception, but not while I am trying to make you a wedding cake."
"Huh?"
"I'm trying to make your wedding cake, Rosa."
"No, the other part."
"Ah, right. I am going to drink my way through the ceremony and reception."
"Why?"
"Because that's what you do at a wedding."
"No." Rosa gasps dramatically. "Is it because we've kissed?"
"What? No!"
"It is." Her eyes go wide. "Do you like me?"
"No, Rosa, I don't."
You hate lying to her.
She surges forward, kissing you hard.
"What about now?" She asks when she pulls back.
"Now...I need a bellini."
5. Nutriboom
"Why does this always happen?" You duck behind a door, praying the person goes away. "Seriously, every time!"
"It's comical." Rosa agrees, but she kisses you anyway.
+1. Show Me Going
“(Y/L/N), can I speak with you in my office?”
You jump. “Sorry. Startled me. Yeah, sure.” You stand and follow Holt into his office. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to ask how you’re doing. I know that you and Rosa are close, so you’re more likely to be particularly affected, what with her current involvement in the Brooklyn Heights shooting."
“Captain, I’ve been in love with Rosa Diaz for the last four years.” Your voice shakes a little, but you smile. “If I couldn’t take a little danger, I’d have broken a long time ago.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I’m okay. Honestly, I’m more worried about the rest of the squad.” You look back and see Charles and Jake talking, while Terry gets his blood pressure checked. “Seriously, Boyle’s got that vein popping out in his forehead. You know the one, when he gets stressed?” Holt’s phone rings. “I’ll let you get that.”
You leave just in time to see Charles stand. “Shots fired. Shots fired!”
“What?” Jake exclaims.
“Is anybody hurt?” Terry asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, man.”
“And, you’re BP’s at 290. Oh, 350. You broke the machine.” The guy next to Terry's desk says.
“Alright, screw this.” Jake stands and storms into Holt’s office. “There were shots fired.”
“I just got off the phone. There are two officers down.”
You run to the nearest trashcan, convinced you’re going to puke, but then you hear, “Neither one of them is Diaz,” and suddenly, you’re fine.
Holt shuts his door. You don't hear the rest of his conversation, instead sitting down at your desk. It's right across from Rosa's, a fact that you desperately try to ignore. You're trembling, but otherwise normal, so you take a breath and try to focus on paperwork. You put your headphones on, despite the ban against them, and blare your music as loud as you can in an attempt to drown out your thoughts.
A few songs later, someone taps you on the shoulder. You practically jump out of your skin, but when you turn around, you see Jake. “God, dude, don’t sneak up on me like that!”
“I got pizza. Come grab a slice.”
You shake your head. “Not really hungry.”
“Come on, eat. You haven’t had anything all day.”
“Fine.”
You stand up and grab a slice.
“Peralta, why are you back so soon?” Holt asks.
“Because I wanted to do something.” Jake turns back. “Hey, guys. How’re you holding up?"
“I mean, not great, but I know you really don’t want to talk about it,” Charles says.
“No. We should talk about it. I’m really scared for Rosa.”
“Yeah.” You say quietly. “I’m terrified that she’s gonna die and I’ll never actually have told her the truth.”
“Me, too.” Terry says. “I mean, the her dying part. It keeps making me think about my kids. How do I deal with the fact that every day I leave for work, I might not come home?”
“Man, I don’t even know, Terry. I don’t have kids yet, but I know you love them. And I feel like that’s all you can really do, right? I mean, now that I'm getting married, I keep thinking if something happens to me, it'll actually affect someone else.”
“I'd get over it eventually, after a lot of therapy.”
“I was more talking about Amy, but yes, you too, Charles.”
You all sigh.
“Hey, look at that. 130 over 80.” The guy next to Terry says. “Back to normal. I can get out of your hair now.”
“Nice. Told you, Andrew. Terry’s in tiptop. Thanks, Jake.”
“Yeah.” You say, nodding.
Jake turns to talk to Holt, and Charles’s phone goes off. “Guys!” He says. “Guys, guys, guys. They just took both shooters into custody. Officers got injured in the action. They don’t say how many.”
“Call Diaz. Get her cell.” Terry says.
Jake grabs his phone. “Damn it. It’s still just going to voicemail.”
“Let me try.”
Straight to voicemail.
“Her phone’s gotta be off, but I’ll try again.” You say. “She’s always picked up when I’ve called.”
“Adorable.” You glare at Jake. “Right, not the time. Just…glad that whole thing’s over.”
“For now.” You mutter.
Fifty minutes (or a lifetime, you aren't completely sure) later, Holt comes out of his office. He’d spent ages on the phone, trying to get in contact with someone who could give him the names of the injured officers.
“Okay.” He says. “I don’t have the names of the injured officers,” You swear internally, “but if Diaz is unharmed, she should be contacting us shortly. Or, if her phone is dead, perhaps she’ll be walking out of the elevator at any moment.”
Just then, the elevator dings. Your head snaps towards the doors.
They open…revealing Scully.
“Come on, Scully!”
“You can’t be doing stuff like that, man!”
“Fuck you!”
“I was just making a copy downstairs.”
“Yeah, well, next time, think.” Jake says.
“About what?”
“I don’t know!”
“Okay, Jake. Come on, man. Go easy on him.”
“Diaz!” Holt says, surprised.
“Rosa!” You and Jake say at the same time.
“You’re okay! Where’d you come from?” Jake asks.
“Felt like walking, so I took the stairs. Also, I thought it’d be funny to mess with you guys.”
“Rosa, you know I hate pranks.”
“You love pranks.”
“I do. I really do.” Jake hugs her tightly. “You did it so good.
“Were you guys worried about me or something?”
“No.” He says.
“I plead the fifth.” You put in, holding yourself back from running to her.
“So, what happened? Did they shoot at you?” Terry says. “Were you in the thick of it?”
“It’s been a really tough day. I just want to go get a beer. I don’t feel like getting into it.”
“Are you sure? Because the journey I went on today taught me that sometimes it’s best to talk about things-”
“Jake.”
“Right. It was a stupid idea. And Holt told me to do it, so. Let’s just go get a drink and sit in total silence.”
“Perfect. First, I gotta go to the can.”
“Actually, you might want to go check out the ladies’ room up here.” You turn at the sound of Gina’s voice. “Hey, Rosa, it’s me, Gina Linetti. Welcome back. Me and Amy made a little surprise for you, and I think you’re gonna like it very, very much. Come on, girl.”
You follow Gina and Rosa into the bathroom. You feel like if you don’t have your eyes on Rosa, she’ll disappear.
Also, you want to see how the bathroom turned out.
“Ta-da!” Gina says.
“You made it sound like you fixed the toilet.” Rosa says dryly.
“Yeah, I thought maybe Amy would’ve pulled something together in the two minutes I stepped outside.”
“Hey, Gina! Look what I stole from the Barnes and…Oh, my God, Rosa! I’m so happy to see you!” Amy runs forward, dropping the toilet seat she’s holding to hug Rosa.
“Wait, are you covered in toilet water?”
“Yes, big-time. But this is happening.”
“Ugh. Fine.”
“Kinda feel like I’m lurking.”
“Gina, get in here.”
“Yay!”
You hesitate.
“(Y/N), you too.”
You grin, rushing forward to hug the three of them.
“Do you mind if I come to Shaw’s?” You ask, once you're out of the bathroom and Amy and Gina are gone.
“Whole squad’s going. Let me go to bathroom, and I’ll drive you.” Rosa offers.
“You don’t have to-”
“You walk to work.”
“Fine.” You smile slightly, and go upstairs to grab your stuff from your desk. You meet her in front of the bathrooms, and follow her out to the parking structure. When you’re sure that you’re alone, you look at the ground. “You know, if you’d died, I’d have been so pissed.”
“Really?”
“I would’ve brought you back so I could kill you again.”
“Didn’t think you cared that much.”
“Of course, I care that much. You’re my partner. Half my cases, I work with you. Can’t have you dying on me, can I?”
Rosa doesn’t say anything.
“Seriously, though, you scared the shit out of me. Didn’t want to say anything in the precinct, I know you don’t like the mushy stuff.”
“Thanks.”
You stop in front of her bike.
“Do you really care that much?” She asks, giving you pause.
“What do you mean? Of course, I care. I don’t know if anyone told you, but I was close to a nervous collapse today.”
“Why?”
You stare at her, bewildered. “Why do you think?”
“We’re friends, but-”
“Rosa, I’ve…” You close your eyes. “Never mind. Let’s just go to Shaw’s, okay?”
“No. What were you going to say?”
“It’s nothing.”
Her voice drops. “It’s not nothing.”
“Rosa, trust me, it doesn’t matter.”
“No, it does matter. If you have something to say-”
“I told you it’s nothing!”
There’s a brief pause. You could cut the tension with whatever knife Rosa probably has in her pocket.
And then she lurches forward, and you don’t have time to say anything before she kisses you, hard.
You freeze, for a split second, and it’s enough that Rosa pulls back. You don’t let her go far, though, dragging her back to you. Butterflies erupt in your stomach.
She bites your lower lip, and you gasp.
“You know,” you say, between kisses, “I’ve been waiting four years for this. I mean...Except for all the fake ones.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Just…didn’t think it would happen."
“I’m glad I made the first move then.”
“Me, too."
You never do make it to Shaw’s.
#brooklyn 99#b99#rosa diaz#amy santiago#the vulture#terrence jeffords#terry jeffords#jake peralta#Charles boyle#gina linetti#raymond holt#nutriboom#rosa diaz x reader#rosa diaz x yn#rosa diaz x you#reader-insert
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same energy
#trump#biden#elections#us elections 2020#Brooklyn 99#b99#nutriboom#new york times#2020 election#politics#Donald trump#joe biden#us politics#potus#usa
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NutriBoom is a special programme designed to manage mental health problems for all age groups. Multiple sessions/sittings. Case to case basis consultations at affordable rates per session. If you are looking for a Nutrition Program for Mental Health online, visit us.
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we need nutriboom back on b99
#brooklyn nine-nine#b99#brooklyn nine nine#nine-nine#nine-niner#tv show#television#television show#michael schur#dan goor#nutriboom#jake peralta#amy santiago#charles boyle#rosa diaz#terry jeffords#captain holt#hitchcock and scully#andy samberg#melissa fumero#joe lo truglio#stephanie beatriz#terry crews#andre braugher#dirk blocker#joel mckinnon miller#comedy#nbc
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