#off the rails

[superdillin]

My daggers + Atelut's (technically Rian's) hammer up on the wall

honorable mention: my kakapo blanket from andrerivera.art

[sweetlymorose]

I'll never get off this train, no matter how badly I want to.

[wall-eye]

a handful of my and my friends favs in some cozy scarves :]

[t0mmy-th3-gh0st]

Hot Skulduggery Pleasant take, he's a good perso- no, I'm joking, I'm joking.

My actual hot take is more of a theory. In my head, Skulduggery is unable to just leave Valkyrie alone and without him is because she is the most important person in his life after his wife died.

He's shown her so much of who he fundermentally is (spoilers), she even knows about Lord Vile, the (metaphorical, and somewhat literal) skeleton in his closet and the darkness he has to constantly push down.

Skulduggery (in my opinion, at least) thinks that Valkyrie is the only one to truly see who he is and not give up on him because of that reason. He understands (again, spoilers) Darquesse. He knows Valkyrie is broken in her own way, but he will never give up on her.

There is something so poet about Valkyrie and Skulduggery's co-dependent relationship, about how a 12 year old girl could make a long dead man's heart beat again (platonically, of course).

Anyway, if you all want me to do an in-depth analysis on these two, I will bow down to the brainrot of these books.

[henryandgordon]

Are we going to talk about the frogs?

[stone-cold-groove]

A train wreck for your trouble.

[tomorrowusa]

Lawrence O'Donnell describes how Donald Trump blatantly does not know what he is doing. Lawrence ties Trump's own cluelessness to that of TACO's onetime pretend friend Elon Musk.

Much of this piece has to do with Trump reviving his tariff stupidity this week. It's the most glaring example of Trump's economic illiteracy.

Lawrence O'Donnell is a living national treasure. His presentations sound like an eloquent attorney making a skillful argument in a court of law.

[oodelally3]

WIP WEDNESDAY!

Been a while since I've done this. I've been working on a 6-chapter fic called Off the Rails based on a dream I had a while back. I'm going to start posting to AO3 once I have the third chapter finished (almost there!).

Here's the opening of chapter one. Hope you enjoy it!

“‘Hogwart Sex-press’?” Hermione read off the pamphlet Theo had just handed her, his eyebrows waggling. “Like romance novels? I don’t know what they’re going for here. The Hogwarts Sex-press? Sounds like something a bunch of randy thirteen-year-olds came up with.” She turned the pamphlet over in her hands, still trying to figure it out. "Theo, is this train smut?! Is that even a thing?"

“Gods, Hermione. You have a filthy mind. I'm rather jealous."

"Well, what does the Hogwarts Sex Press print?"

He sighed. "First of all, you say it all together. Like 'HogwartSexpress'.”

“Hogwarts Express.”

“Hogwartsssexpress."

“Hogwartsssssss EX Press.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “You're being deliberately obtuse.”

“You sure I’m the thing that’s obtuse?”

“Okay, just forget the name,” Theo said, waving his hands through the air in a futile effort to erase everything they’d just said. “The important part is what it actually is.”

Hermione looked at the pamphlet again. An Exclusive Club for Witches and Wizards to Let Off Some Steam. Get off at any stop!

“A…club?” she asked. 

“Yes.”

“A train club.” Hermione was not impressed.

Theo nodded, a sly smile on his face.

“So it’s an elite club. Probably for poncy prats. You’re obviously a member,” she smirked at him.

“Noooo. I mean, yes, I attend occasionally, but it’s not that type of club.”

“What type of cl--” She scanned the pamphlet again as it hit her. Get off at any stop. “Oh. Ohhh.” Her face flushed vermilion.

“Exactly,” he grinned.

[bobbie-robron]

He… he became obsessed with me. I tried to distance myself and… he went off the rails.

After the Flood - 13-Jul-2024

[souraesthetics]

Peep my new little carpet and pj’s

•3;42AM•

[superdillin]

Arc 11 unprepared casters fans, Aram just had something made for me and it's found its way to me

[thecoffeelorian]

parting thoughts...? {not really}

gotta be honest with myself AGAIN...

i know other folks are against it, but i had a whole bunch of headcanons revolving around greaseball waking up with a shiny new boiler instead of his usual gear, one of which has the freight family convincing him to go on a snipe hunt, and one day I might make it official...

[wall-eye]

thinking about a uc musical arc again but not in the way that the arc itself is a musicical but what arc would be good to adapt into a musical.

(unsurprisingly) i think that arc 11 would be a good one. the way im imagining they could use a spinning stage,,,,,, itd be so good

[wrongydkjquotes]

"Mavis… they're doing it to me again…"

-Helen (Source: Wedge Antilles realizes that Wraith Squadron is going Off the Rails again)

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

Chat writes the plot! Time for more 👑🐲🐟 KotD!

🔥🔥 don't forget to reblog tysm! 🔥🔥

Want to be on the tag list? -> Comment with 'tag me!' Have an idea for next chapter or clicked the wrong option? -> Reblog about it! Check the bottom for the Ao3 link. Latest chapter is below the cut!🔥

~King of the Dragonfish: Chapter 16 ~

Obi-Wan is just about ready to begin figuratively climbing the walls…

…scratch that, he's just about ready to literally climb the walls.

‘Come with me…’ Maul’s voice echoes in his mind.

“No,” he says aloud, pacing circles around the magma ball. “No.”

But gods, does he want-

“No.”

The jedi spares a moment to be angry at the circumstances. Every jedi was met with challenges on the path of life. It was supposed to be that way. They were chances for self reflection and growth. But how many jedi had their mortal enemy return from the grave looking like something out of a wet dream -no pun intended- and kidnap them, only to change their mind and decide they just want companionship and sex? They just want him to stay with them, forever, simple as that.

It's absurd. It's enticing. It's sad. It's sweet.

It makes Obi-Wan want to punch something.

It makes him want other things too…

“No.”

He has to leave. He has to. It's only a matter of time before slick scales and stress levels mix him up into a cocktail of poor choices. Obi-Wan wants to rail Maul into the ground. He wants to see what all that mess at the apex of his tail tastes like. He wants to get on his knees and-

Blast it! It's time to try escaping, with or without help from local fauna.

The jedi walks to the water's edge, and gathers his mental fortitude. He knows he's unlikely to succeed in getting to the sparkle of his lightsaber crystal, or to somehow find his rebreather. However, Maul's force signature is far away. Now is a good time to explore, and hope, and trust in the force.

Obi-Wan jumps into the frigid water, grimacing as it rises around him. He swims as close to the exit tunnel as he can, and starts taking deep breaths, trying to hyperoxygenate a bit.

Then, he dives.

What follows is a slow and cautious exploration of the nearby tunnels that serves as a double blessing for how it takes his mind off Maul. He swims one way, and finds nothing but tunnel that goes on further than he can see. The jedi returns to air, catches his breath, and goes out again.

The other direction offers a split in the road. One way leads to a dead end, the other hits a second divide. Again, he reoxigenates, and despite the terrible cold he goes back down for a third attempt.

Then a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, a seventh… a hour passes and the chill sinks into his bones. He finds two more air pockets, not quite as fresh as the algae and moss crowded caves, but still breathable.

And then, he stumbles across another ‘room’.

Obi-Wan breaches the water's surface and finds himself in a trove. He crawls up onto land, and looks around curiously. This cave is a series of smaller rooms that connect, with an exceptional number of pock marks in the walls. Perhaps millennia ago this was living coral? Whatever the case, the larger pockets have been turned into shelves, and these shelves hold myriad items.

Droid parts, sea shells, and pearls as big as his head. Tin cans, fabric scraps, and a silver platter. An entire trombone, half rusted, sits in a footlocker without a lid. There's a pile of datapads which all look to be out of charge, and a statue of some long forgotten nubian queen. These and more, a flee market’s worth of curios.

His most unexpected find is an area of sand, which seems... combed? Gemstones and polished rocks in shades of blue combine with patterns in the sand to create a garden of sorts. Many of the stones are no bigger than a bean. The largest is a chunk of lapis lazuli the size of his fist. Obi-Wan ponders the rock garden for a few minutes before moving on, not quite sure what to make of it.

A sith with a sense of artistry... that's just... odd?

From what he had seen in the archives, the sith of old stuck to geometric patterns and flat colors. Their ideal temple was a barren monolith or an angular ziggurat with either no decoration, or, records of horrible deeds carved in words. Sometimes pictures.

Yet... Maul had made a lovely little garden, in shades of blue and white and beige. Strange.

Obi-Wan turns away from the mystery, and goes digging through the droid parts to see if there's anything that could boost his comm signal. It's a possibility, there's a lot to work with here. Rather than take anything, the jedi memorizes what he sees and makes note of it. He will plan what to take and where to hide it to work on before risking revealing the direction of his thoughts.

At the very back of the caves is a large cubby of stone that looks like it was carved into the wall with a lightsaber, then carefully sanded smooth.

On a shelf beside it sits a saberstaff. Obi-Wan can feel the song of the kyber from here, now that he listens. Two notes in harmony, one longing and angry, the other spiteful and determined. The jedi knows this blade, and has no desire to touch it… but it's good to know where it is.

He shakes his head sadly at the sithly melody, and sits down at the edge of the cubby, exhausted and sluggish. Obi-Wan rests his elbows on his knees, needing a minute to gather his strength. Even with a jedi's ability to propel himself with the force and slow his heartbeat, it was still a long swim back.

Emotionally Obi-Wan feels a lot better though. He's mapped a significant amount of tunnel, found three places to get air for further exploration, and most importantly he's gotten his mind off-

Oh, kriff.

The jedi master groans, flopping backwards onto the smooth stone with a wet smack, exasperated with himself. Truly? Truly. A single stray thought about beautiful black scales, and he's back in the thick of it like he'd never left.

Obi-Wan covers his eyes with a shaking hand, hiding from reality for just a moment. Two moments. Perhaps five moments…

He sighs, removing his hand to look up at the ceiling. This is, inconveniently, when he realizes his fingers are very pale. Bother. He needs to get up, and… and swim back to the radiant heat of the magma ball.

Just the thought of it is dreadfully tiring, and he is comfortable here. Very comfortable... So very…

Oh no.

He knows exactly what being sleepy when one is very cold means. The jedi curses under his breath, forcing himself upright. His vision is slow to catch up with where he's looking. He's pushed too far, and now his body is paying the price of that.

Obi-Wan draws in the force to support himself, and rises unsteadily to his feet. Every bone in his body pleads with him to lay down. He denies the instinct in favor of a survivalist mentality.

The problem? He is much too cold.

The solution? Getting out of wet clothes and closer to warmth, or barring that, some kind of insulting material.

He thinks through a mild fog, and recalls the cloth scraps. Obi-Wan goes hunting around in the treasure trove as he pulls off his belt. He dumps his clothes onto the floor, managing to lay them out to air dry for what it was worth in the relative humidity. Then he gathers up every last scrap of fabric he can find.

The pile of scraps. A sail cloth. Half a tarp. His best find is a pair of old wool socks, which he puts on right away. The lot of it he piles in the cubby, and curls in on himself in the midst of it. Obi-Wan knows he just needs to warm up, then he can put everything back, and return to where he was supposed to be. Maul's force presence was still far away. He wasn't in a rush…

…and that's part of why the jedi falls asleep precisely when and where he really shouldn't.

Obi-Wan wakes sometime later with his head tucked under a pointed chin. A scaled tail curls around his naked legs, and a lumpy magma hemisphere radiates heat against his back.

... kark.

Obi-Wan can't deal with this right now. He's beyond exhausted, possibly a bit ill. The jedi master takes a deep breath, and just... goes back to sleep, held close in red and black arms.

To be continued...

-Tag list- (Comment if you want added!)

@obimaulartfire @savageopressbignaturals @icequeen8043 @moonsickvampire @maulish @milkcioccolato @cyborg0109

New? Start from Chapter 1! 👇🏽

[butchcookies]

Sometimes you gotta deal with stress by listening to characters deal with a far more stressful situation