#og post

[divorce-enjoyer]

i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been

[elise-flaren]

first off, venivampyr, i'm so sorry that happened, they suck. they simply suck, please teach them better.

secondly, I HAVE AN ENTESENTIAL CRISIS MONTHLY. i am a teenager, someone in 9th grade, who has already had a quarter life crisis. THOSE ARE MEANT TO BE FOR 20 YEARS OLDS. MY LIFE EXPECTANCY IS BETWEEN 40-60. at the latest, i would be 1/4th through life at 15. fifteen.

i am often not emotionally stable, and small things where i can't or don't have an once of control will cause me to get pissed and act out. i say to say that, i really, really, really, don't want to be like that, so i've been trying to work on it.

but, why am i like that? because i have ZERO control over the inside of my body. i Never have had Any control over the inside of my body. i have break downs both mentally and physically on the regular. no, it is not often something i show off in public. no, it is not often something i let other people see. but they still fucking happen, and i still hate them.

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

[toner-boner]

[my-pfp-is-my-current-intrest]

chat did I cook?

[gordonengineswifenirmal]

Wait till u find out about the patch behind the lower ear, off to the side.

BREAKING NEWS: softest material in the world has been discovered, scientists calling it "kitty tummy fur"

[nattousan]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[divorce-enjoyer]

wait PAUSE. theres a cute guy here. nobody embarrass me

[loumandivorce]

there will be a show with two guys in a fucked up power dynamic that is the core of their relationship and all the posts will be like "i love them but i hate the power dynamic" and all the fic is like "what if there was no power dynamic" or "what if the power dynamic was switched". like okay actually i think the imbalance is fun and awesome. anyone else

[elise-flaren]

as an empathy that hits kinda hard I'ma be honest

“Just because you can feel another person’s emotions doesn’t make you responsible for them.”

— Sarah Brooke

[t4tails]

i have no idea what youre talk;ng about

[cishetdesertduo]

petition for joels winner symbol to be a fucking car because its what joel toretto wouldve wanted

[enderspawn]

he’s fine :)

Skitters backwards and falls off a cliff

[bdoubleowo]

Mcyt discourse is like a coin flip where half the time it’s soul crushingly agonizing but other times you turn into Statler and Waldorf

[clownowo]

can't wait to see who epic wins the Berdly's affection at the festival

[gray-ace-space]

a while back i posted screenshots of a conversation with a demi friend who afaik is otherwise cishet and extremely not on tumblr. i guess he's just gonna be a recurring character on this blog.

here is me (badly) explaining the deal with unicorns and dragons to him, and a message he had for acespecs in response.

make armadillo ace a thing. do it for him.

[elise-flaren]

i actually realized that almost all doctors needed retrained when i was about 10 i think?

story time undercut (tw: slight ableism?)

so, because of my illnesses, my parents made me isolate for two years during the spike of covid. from halfway through 3rd grade, up until halfway though 5th grade, i was stuck inside my house. or my backyard. that's it. except for my cf doctor appointments, with all of my specialists.

well, when i got out of isolation, when i was 10, i had to go to a "normal doctor" as we've always called them. i'd say around halfway through the appointment, right after she had finished a small exam of me, she turns towards my mother and goes, "she's obese. you should really work on healthy eating with her"

at the time, i didn't know what obese meant, so i just went back on my phone and didn't listen. keep in mind, at the time, my mother was also obese. and i was only 20-30 lb over. she knew i had cf, a disease that makes it hard and very dare i say impossible to gain weight. my cf doctors praised me when i gained weight, since it's not unhealthy for a kid to be 20 pounds over, with my health conditions. so when my mom told me what the doctor had said, and what it meant, i was really confused. i had grown up where the encouraged me to gain weight, and praised me for being a little over. why would she say i should loose weight??

i told my mother that day that i think all doctors, expect specialists, should be forced to take a test, or do a week of retraining every 5 years. because it's a little messed up imo to tell a chronically ill child smth like that, and act like gaining weight is super easy for them.

note: this was right around or shortly after the time i started trikafta, but i was overweight before that still

Doctors are taught "when you hear hooves, think horses not zebras."

This results in every chronically ill and disabled person to be neglected and never diagnosed or treated.

Doctors are taught that it always must be horses, zebras are so rare that that cant possibly be what they have. Doctors are told they are smarter than their patients, that they always know whats best for them, and that they know more about the patients body than they do. They are taught that anyone who is not easy to save or cure must be lying or exaggerating because "zebras are rare".

When someone chronically ill and undiagnosed does their own research and asks the doctors to test for specific things, this challenges what doctors have been taught: that they are smarter and better than patients, and know everything they need.

This results in doctors becoming defensive, hostile, abusive, and neglectful towards their chronically ill patients.

Doctors are not properly trained to deal with people with illnesses that are chronic and cannot be cured, their practice is based around helping abled people. This is because our society doesn't care about disabled people, and actively lie and say we are rare and meaningless and therefore should not be considered.

Doctors quickly become desensitized to human suffering in their job. Instead of caring about their patients they worry that they are drug addicts and if they give the drug addicts drugs they will lose their job. They would rather let everyone suffer than possibly give medication to someone who may be lying. They believe the worst thing imaginable is someone lying to them for drugs, so they assume every person with complex problems must be a drug addict and they must protect themselves by not treating them.

This leads to pain, suffering, and the death of many chronically ill and disabled people.

Being a doctor is being in a position of gross power. Your life is at their whim and they are taught to never acknowledge zebras. They are taught to let you die rather than possibly be lied to.