#one of the reasons why I go feral when the companions (especially in romance) get protective of Rook

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Get yourself a man that goes, "You need a break," and prepares a picnic for you unprompted and drags you out to touch grass.

[wardencommander-surana]

my thoughts after finishing my Dragon Age playthrough, pt. 2: Dragon Age 2

right off the bat, this is my favorite game of the whole entire series, and i'll go into the reasons why under the cut. i know development was rushed, and up until VG, this was one of the most controversial games in the series, but this game just hit every single point that i loved about this series.

i did NOT play the Legacy DLC for this one due to my god awful experience with the DA:O DLCs, but in retrospect, i 100% should have!

Dragon Age 2 major decisions made: - warrior (Carver dies, Bethany in party) Purple!Marian Hawke - romanced Isabela - sided with mages the whole way through - any offer to side with the templars, even in a tiny way, was declined (except returning Keran) - Bethany gets taken to the Circle while i'm on the Deep Roads expedition - friends with everyone except Fenris - our relationship stayed in the middle/more toward rivals so i had to kill him in the end game battle (didn't recruit Seb); Fenris was the only companion quest i didn't get at all - Merrill's clan was killed (whoopsie) - helped Feynriel - killed Arishok (obvs)

this game had a lot of weird, minor decisions vs. the "big choices" Origins had, so i didn't include everything, just what i thought had the most impact on my playthrough of the story.

DA2 gets so much flak, but honestly, i think it's unwarranted. Hawke is a fantastic protagonist and both voice actors are amazing (not something i usually think when there's a male v female option). they also improved on a lot of the combat and inventory management issues of the first game without completely changing the mechanics (in my experience as a console player). the "tactics" page especially was much easier to navigate than the first game's "combat tactics" options. the reduction in types of health potions was appreciated, but i missed being able to craft infinite amounts of lesser health poultice whenever i knew i was heading into a boss fight. i utilized the shops WAY more in this game than in origins, which i felt fit the mostly-contained story in Kirkwall really well.

the companions in this game are so much fun to spend time with... except Fenris. i don't know what i missed with him, since the corner of the fandom i'm in is OBSESSED with him, but i didn't like him at all. Marian was also a two-handed warrior, so i didn't bring him around at ALL, and he really grated on my pro-mage attitude. i know with rivalries, if it's maxed, you can swing it back around to friendship, but he and my Marian just didn't mesh too well. if anyone who reads this can explain the feral attitude for Fenris to me, PLEASE help me understand!

my party was normally Varric and Isabela, and i rotated between Aveline/Merrill/Anders for the third party member (no Bethany for obvious reasons). truly, the Varric/Anders/Isabela trifecta is peak for banter, with Varric/Aveline/Isabela in a close second. i don't think i died one single time playing this whole game on casual difficulty, and thanks to Fenris's sword with the attack speed buff, the final showdown took me <5 minutes, so i didn't focus too much on bringing mages around for support again. the talents and specializations were much more clear and easier to utilize as well. truthfully, once i realized that my character would still do its own thing while i clicked to other party members to heal them (something i didn't realize would happen in Origins), things went a lot more smoothly!

the fact that BioWare doesn't let us romance Varric as Marian Hawke is a travesty. the chemistry was there! you can HEAR the longing in his voice while he's retelling the story to Cassandra! all of the sarcastic dialogue choices just DRIVE this point home. i knew going into this game that i couldn't romance Varric and i was still foaming at the mouth during the ONE flirt option we get with him. Isabela was a fantastic romance option for purple Hawke, though - the dialogue writing between the two really catches that fun "i know you're a wild card, but i can't help it" vibe from both sides. Anders felt like the annoying brother who always acts like he knows better (which he doesn't) and Merrill felt like a little sister i had to keep safe, and both these feelings hit even harder thinking about the Hawkes as a whole.

but the HAWKES. every single act in this story tore my heart clean out of my chest - even Carver's early death still left shockwaves through the whole playthrough. like, i'm sorry, we're running away from THAT Lothering??? and my sibling dies immediately???? THEN i finally help my family get out of my uncle's hovel, and my SISTER gets sent to MAGE PRISON?????? then my MOM GETS KILLED AND TURNED INTO A FRANKENSTEIN BRIDE BY A SERIAL KILLER BLOOD MAGE?????? ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING????????? Origins could NEVER give me emotional whiplash like DA2 did!! i know everyone complains about the time jumps, but honestly, i think they were the best way to move Hawke away from the events of Origins if they weren't going to put them in a whole new region. hands down, Hawke was the best part of all of DA2. BioWare fleshed out almost a full protagonist for us, and we still manage to make the story our own with the teeny tiny choices we make throughout.

my personal favorite mechanic in DA2 is hands down the map. i know the "lack of" setting is popularly attributed to Varric's retelling of the story, but the fact that i could switch between day and night while flipping through the maps was 1. really cool and 2. something i didn't realize i was missing from other video games! when i play RPGs, i usually like to clear parts of the map all at once (ex. in DA:O, i tried to do ALL the Orzammar quests i could do without leaving in one go), but the way DA2 used Kirkwall and the outside settings combined with the way quests were issued forced me to move around constantly. i couldn't do everything on the Storm Coast then move on to do everything in Hightown - i had to move like Hawke actually would through Kirkwall to be given things to do. yes, there are some cases where you can stack quests for locations (like saving companion quests & side quests for when you'll be in the area), but for the most part, i wasn't able to make a "to-do" list for each part of the map like i do with other games. it reminds me of Night City in Cyberpunk 2077 without being open world, almost - time passes, you have quests all over the place, but you can also choose to just fuck around instead of doing storyline stuff. eventually, though, BioWare stops giving you side quests and forces you to finish each act, which is another good change from Origins, where side quests could persist through the whole story.

playing DA2 after finishing DATV was absolutely wild - and stop reading here if you haven't played/finished DATV just in case!

the way i would spend so much time just listening to Merrill tell me stories about the Dreadwolf and blood magic and Eluvians... when people say that DATV disregarded the lore, i just want to send them a compilation of all Merrill's elven folklore from DA2. granted, DA2 also gets flak for retconning lore, but i didn't really see it as retconning since it was only the second game in this universe. more... expanding and adding additional perspectives. in real life, people from different backgrounds have different interpretations of common things like religion and mythology, which is what it feels like between DA:O and DA2, and, by proxy, DATV, which takes place in a whole new region of Thedas (i'll talk about this more in my DATV post). it frustrates me because "retcons" happen in real life history and religion constantly - y'all can't listen to "Wonderful" from Wicked then tell me the lore should've been consistent across all four games!!!! we even hear different lore from our different companion parties, which has been at least 4 groups depending on what DLCs you played SO FAR.

truly a 9/10 game, point off for not letting me romance Varric, BioWare. cruel and unusual punishment. the eldest daughter of Dragon Age games - did all the heavy lifting, gets none of the credit.

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Romanced Companions react to Sole Shusing Them With A Kiss.

(Enemies or argument.)

Cait:

Listen, she loved it when you surprised her with kisses- but why now? The two of you were just finished with a shoot out- did her blowing a raider’s head off really arouse you that much? Must have, seeing as you suddenly toppled her over and made her duck behind the old rickety bar of the hotel lobby- making sure your lips stayed right on her own.

That’s when she caught onto the cause of your sudden lust.

Footsteps, quite a few of them at that. Footsteps slowly moving further away from the two of you.

Fuck.

Curie:

She just knew that this “Museum of Witchcraft” thing was a terrible idea. She knew it from the second she saw the mangled remains of some unfortunate soul outside and she especially knew it whenever you lead her up the stairs.

What really got her was the pure dread in her stomach when she laid eyes on the slumbering beast held within, a soft gasp erupting from her- only to be stopped by you pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, quick to begin backing away to safety.

Had it not been for the inherent danger in front of you, she might’ve just been excited and pleased with the contact.

Oh well, she’ll get you back for it later when death wasn’t almost a guarantee.

Danse:

It was far and few between that he would argue with you, but with how stubborn both he and yourself were- it was only a matter of time until you butted heads on something. He still didn’t like it but that surely didn’t stop him from adamantly bickering back- at least until you let out a frustrated growl, your eyes a pool of fiery fury as you grasped the back of his head- fingers tugging pulling his short hair and forcing him down from his larger stature and into a rough kiss.

At first he was surprised, amber eyes wide and a startled moan spilling from his lips. That quickly dissipated into his eyes fluttering closed, the anger he felt transforming into butterflies in his stomach.

Even as you tried to pull away, his head would follow your’s in attempt to savor the kiss.

What were you arguing about again?

Deacon:

Deacon knew that his humor could at the very worst- be ill timed and annoying, but that was the beauty of it..right? Well, sure. Especially whenever he brought to the breaking point of your nerves- seeing your eye visibly twitch before you whipped around to face him , practically seething when you roughly pressed a kiss to his annoying lips. If only you could’ve seen behind his sunglasses, his eyes having almost doubled in size in response.

Needless to say, he never had someone shut him up like that.

Gage:

Though it didn’t happen often, sometimes Gage just couldn’t help himself but get mouthy with you. Nothing terrible mean, just the occasional complaint. However he never got far- just like now..

As soon as he rolled his eye at you, you forcefully pulled him to you by his ass- keeping him firmly in place so you could press your lips against his, biting down onto the plump flesh right when he attempted to kiss back.

“Dotcha dare forget who I am, understand?” “Fuck..yes, boss.”

Hancock:

Look here, he didn’t think it was a good idea- but seeing how eagerly you threw yourself at him, he couldn’t help but eagerly kiss back. Even reaching down to cup his hands around the curve of your backside and pull you deeper into the pleasant surprise of your kiss. He even though that he may get a little more out of this affection, maybe even get to try outdoor sex in the alleyway- until you pulled away with wide eyes.

Before he could ask what was wrong, he heard your giggle quietly- pointing over towards the sewage drain that had a pair of menacing horns slowly descending down.

Oh shit.

Macready:

For having such good vision and talent, Mac was terrible at sensing danger- but not nearly as bad as he was at keeping his damn mouth shut.

Gasping, you quickly pulled Mac back around the corner of the old brick building- praying to a higher being that it would provide enough cover- before caving him in with your hands and kissing him, using your own body weight to keep him perfectly still.

Whenever you finally deemed it safe, you withdrew and he gazed upon you with a lovestruck expression- a pretty blush dusting his face.

“Youre going to end up killing me one day..”

And yes...he was still somehow completely unaware of the lack of mongrels prowling the street over.

Maxson:

I think we all know that Arthur is proud, stubborn, and very much so opinionated. Put all that together and you have a recipe for a person willing to relentlessly argue, even with the person he loved the most.

Luckily, you would not stand for it. All acknowledgment of his superior rank and reputation flying out the window as you grabbed him by his coat lapels, shaking your head one last finale time before crushing your lips against his to make him shut up.

His head felt like it was spinning, the obvious need to push you away being thrown from his kind in favor of relishing the sudden contact. No matter what he wanted to do, you had succeeded- having rendered him speechless even after you broke away.

Nick Valentine:

He thought that surely you had lost your mind. The place was crawling with all kinds of unsavory characters and yet you for some reason thought that now was a good time for smooching? I mean, he wouldn’t dare ever push you away but this was a seriously bad lapse in judgement.

At least that is what he though up until he saw the feral ghouls off to the far corner of the subway car stumble into another section.

If he could soil his pants, that would’ve been the time.

Old Longfellow:

No, Absolutely not. Do it, even for good reasons and he’ll bend you over his knee and swat your ass like the little brat you were being.

Piper:

Piper was nothing if not passionate. That much was certain.

Due to her nature and her sometimes extreme opinions, arguments were unfortunately inevitable. Especially if you were sympathetic towards the institue.

Sometimes they just got so bad, both of yelling at each other without saying much of anything at all. That’s when actions would become the only reasonable solution, and you were not one to delay. Pushing forward, you’d grab her by her shoulders- pulling her to you without second thought and silencing the both of you in a rough, toothy kiss.

She’d of course not take too kindly to being interrupted, but because it was you...next thing she knew, she was wrapping her legs around your waist and moaning into your mouth.

Preston:

Goddamn Mirelurks. Ever the scourge of the castle, hardly ever worth wasting the ammunition though.

Rolling your eyes, you noticed the movement behind your lover’s back. However the panic set in whenever he opened his mouth to speak.

Unable to formulate any other idea, you promptly grabbed him by his upper arm, pushed him against the stony wall of your fortress before kissing him.

Boy was he shocked when he figured out what gotten into you.

Sturges:

Sturges was usually a very easy going man, so when the two of you “argued” it wasn’t like how most couples did. For instance, like now..it was nothing serious, more or less him griping at you for eating the last of his reserved snack cakes out of the cabinet.

Honestly, you knew you were wrong for it- but that surely didn’t stop the pleased smile on your face as you sauntered up to him, your hips bouncing side to side until you were close enough to wrap your arms around his neck and stop him from pestering you any more by shushing him with a kiss.

“There, is that sweet enough for you?” “Uh, I..I think so. *chuckle*.”

X6-88:

Honestly he was more surprised with the occasion more than your abrupt actions.

Everything had been going so smoothly, the two of you walking the streets of Boston ruins with an unnatural calmness. At least that is until he went to open his mouth and speak, to which you quickly raised to the tips of your toes and stopped his words before they could even form with a searing kiss.

His gloved fingers would instinctively press into your arms, unknowing wether he should push you away or if he should pull you closer. Regardless of what he wanted, he didn’t have time to decide because all too soon- you had pulled away.

It was later on that he figured out that there was a whole ass supermutant group walking the alleyway over.

[dlkardenal]

Tooth and claw - Aspects and execution of werewolf myths

Hey there, travelers!

As we promised last week, today I shall take over the post to come to the defense of the whole werewolf thing. If we go back to last weeks debate about the Underworld factions, I always sided with the werewolves (and only partially because the vampires were jerks in comparison). Why? Well, I think the myth has a large selection of really cool qualities that could serve as the backbone of a story, be it as an overall theme or a specific crux.

1. The savagery

Okay, I think we can all agree wolves are scary as shit. The earliest appearances in fiction were almost entirely horror stories and the iconic werewolf adversary in any spooky medium still gives us the creeps. In my understanding, this is because their savage and predatory nature. They have an instinct to hunt, to claim territory and devour anything that sets foot inside. Although modern zoology tends to show these noble beasts in a much friendlier light, older horror fiction kept to the juicy bits. They were portrayed as soulless beasts with no regrets, no thought and no emotions, only an unquenchable thirst for blood. You can spot these werewolves nowadays in titles such as The Witcher, Skyrim, Harry Potter or a number of indie horror novels and I love it.

The whole concept of an uncontrollable monster living under the skin of a regular old human being is really fascinating. There are several ways the character’s human side can relate to their occasional disemboweling of innocent creatures. If they shun it, like for example Remus Lupin in the Harry Potter series, it breeds conflict within the character itself, giving way to a whole armada of possible reactions. A werewolf can be suicidal, introverted, melancholic because of the heavy burden—or the exact opposite. Sometimes loosing control and thus being unaccountable for ones deeds means freedom, a refreshing escape from mundanity and that could behave like the most severe drugs (like in the case of Aela from Skyrim’s Companions’ Guild).

2. The power

Oh, yes, muscles larger than a greek god and claws shredding titanium, who wouldn’t want that feeling of invincibility? In some cases, the characters stricken with lycanthropy (especially when they’re largely in control of it) view it as a tool, a power one should utilize to achieve their ends. If you think about the Underworld movies, the second generation of lycans used their powers to defend against the vampires’ crusade and free themselves from servitude. My favourite installation of this trope is the case of Vincent Meis, a minor character in The Witcher 1 Chapter III. This guard captain in Vizima is a lycanthrope who acts as a kind of vigilante superhero. When it’s time for his transformation, he uses the feral beast’s agility and tracking skills to hunt down the city’s most wanted criminals, saving the lives of ordinary folk.

If you ask me how could one further this aspect, I’d say account for weaknesses as well. As with every power, it can make a character overly confident or even bold, and when a stray silver bullet comes their way and shatters their ego, it can really hurt. And hurt means character development, something every author tries to integrate into their stories. Let your werewolves run wild and shred people to pieces, then shoot them chock full with silver and see them grow as a person ~

3. The pack

Sailing onto more recent topics, we all now there’s no such thing as a lone wolf. No matter how much Geralt insinst on being one, wolves are pack animals, and so are werewolves—in some cases. You needn’t look further than Twilight to figure out the appeal of a pack, a gathering of like-minded people who will fight and die for each other. If you’re unsure why a society is important, we’ve already talked about it here, but to sum it up: from the times for our ancestors, being alone meant being destined to die, so our human psyche favors groups to lonesomeness. Werewolf packs are like the Lamborghini of groups, because they have more common traits then any other. First, they all experienced something nobody else has (turning into a wolf or wolf-man). Second, since most titles still establishes lycanthropy as socially unacceptable, they have a common secret. Something they should keep among themselves, something they can refer to and that differentiates them from common folk, pushing them even closer together. The third, and here’s the kicker—they can’t choose else. Many of these stories include that werewolves have a pack instinct, an inner calling that makes them crave each other’s company and thus they know they’ll stick together no matter what. This last aspect is ripe for abuse and I’ve read (reviews of) horrible paranormal romances that did just that. Please, for the love of Romulus, don’t use this instinctual belonging as a reason to keep a verbally, mentally and physically abused character coming back to the pact, because that’s not relatable, that’s just sad.

4. (Now we’re getting weird) The mates

Okay, now we arrive at Imprinting and similar things. The idea of having a pre-destined, fated mate is an exciting topic (at first): the alpha werewolf having an omega nobody as his fated mate, the one he HAS to choose no matter what. This simple position breeds (no pun intended) conflict, and that is the driving force of stories. BUT! You can so easily mock this up. Nowadays market is flooded with these alpha werewolf stories, partially because of the alpha’s character (another throwback about why that’s alluring is around here), partially because the fated mates trope. How can this be bad? Like with so many other tropes, by sticking to the tried and tired formula and not changing a thing. The best in show prize of a male falling in love with a grey, insignificant nobody snuck its way through every possible genre, from YA school romances, crime stories, historical fiction, and now paranormal romances. Mix it up! You can’t really change the alpha (although you can play with genders a bit), but the mate doesn’t have to be nearly incompetent. What if he/she is a total badass, just not in a way that befits an alpha’s mate? What if they are already taken and the conflict tears apart the pack? What if it’s not love that bonds them but an everlasting rivalry? This could be a really good enemies to lovers trope if executed well.

I’ll be honest, I’m not one for paranormal romances, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, there is no correct way of writing a story, these are just the two cents of a story junkie. Howl away, friend! May Hircine take you.

Dar

[disregardcanon]

oh while i still have some time to just sit and be today, i wanted to write some Thoughts TM that i had while listening to tswift’s folklore in the car yesterday 

1. folklore is really great as a concept album. there’s a couple of songs that don’t hit me perfect, but as a whole it does FEEL like the mystic, timeless folktale thing that she was going for. i’m impressed with the cohesion there 

2. i’m not entirely sure what “the 1″ is doing there. it feels a lot more reputation/lover than the rest of them, especially since it’s more straight up romance and doesn’t do anything very interesting with the style in the way that some of the other songs do. i don’t HATE it or anything, but it doesn’t feel like it belongs on this album 

3. i like how there’s clearly more than one story being traced through the songs

last great american dynasty going into mad woman is great. last great american dynasty is more about the character but also about taylor herself, and then it shifts into that theme of just wanting to go apeshit because there’s so many strings attached to civility. 

also, mad woman HITS a lot better than some of her rant stuff for me recently. i’m not a big fan of the man from lover because it feels more like “why can’t patriarchy work for me”, but mad woman feels more like shouting in a soundproof room, the way that it so often does trying to rage against the status quo. 

cardigan to betty is great, and i feel like august is probably also in that story because the earnest summer romance aspect seems like it happens BEFORE cardigan which happens before betty. so order of the story is 2 1 3

seven and mirrorball and this is me trying all feel like they’re the same story. there’s less backing for this one, but the way that seven is about returning to the fierceness, wildness, and sureness of self of childhood melding into mirrorball “this is where i am right now, melting myself into different shapes to fit for different people” to “i have done the melting for so many different people that now i’m far behind and don’t know who i am. i’m trying but it’s just not going well” feels like a narrative thread together. 

hoax and the lakes for sure go together. i’m not sure if it’s the narrator, but the way that the two play off of each other is perfect. the shift from screaming on the cliffside asking for a reason to jump going to lie in your sadness by the lake just to be there is so.... visceral 

it’s such a violent mourning shifting into more of a melancholy. 

4. many of them are about themes that just don’t really get explored much. 

seven as really the Purity of youth as much as the lack of knowledge and slightly feral quality. like, there’s the innocence, but not innocence as an entirely good thing. the narrator clearly doesn’t really understand the abuse the nature of the situation that “her” companion has been through and there’s this just run off to the woods and be pirates narrative that’s sweet, but clearly borne from a place of not really getting the situation. it focuses more on the narrator wanting to escape the confines of her adult life and civility than letting the companion with the bad home life escape. 

then it’s got that playground chant style that’s mixed with kind of a foreboding “haunted” feel that just gives it the perfect amount of creepy and wistful. it’s a good song. 

i also LOVE the lakes. i hadn’t heard it somehow until yesterday, but it’s just a feeling that i’ve never really felt expressed to music before. it’s that deep melancholy that you WANT to wallow in because there’s something about being a teenager that makes you drawn to lying in angst to lie in it, the “alone together” in a place of sublime in the literary sense, just to kind of soak up the way that the world feels vast and beautiful and terrifying and ugly and lonely- together with someone else who gets it too, while the assumption that no one else could ever GET that thing that’s kind of a universal experience is running through too. 

it feels so much like being a teenager to me in a really good way i’ve never seen before. the hamlet part of being a teenager. 

the style feels right for it, but i can’t tell you why as much as something like seven. i might be able to grasp it better with a few more listens. 

5. other highlights- cardigan DEFINITELY feels like it’s music video where you’re transported to another, magical world. it’s a mystical and scary one, though, which is perfect for a first love that leaves you heartbroken and adrift on the sea

exile feels so right for the content of the song- that loneliness that can only be achieved through miscommunications that could probably be solved if you talked a little better 

mirrorball’s style is hollow and feels like it’s spinning like a music box, which feels perfect for the image of someone who feels hollow trying to fit themselves into a million different boxes. this is me trying feels similar and works for about the same reasons. 

also lyrically, this is me trying has some of my favorite stuff from her. i have about six close readings i did in the car but here’s my favorite section 

They told me all of my cages were mental-- the narrator asked for help and did not get any because she was told she was making the issue up  So I got wasted like all my potential-- okay so let’s talk about this one 

1. wasted potential is of course a common phrase that we’re playing on 

2. “i got wasted” has the meanings of “i got drunk but in a way that was giving up my sobriety” and “i had things to contribute, but i didn’t, which is a moral and personal failing” and if you go a little further and take “wasted” to mean “thrown away like trash” that also implies a failure on the part of those THAT threw her away. like, all of the implications here of having had something to give and being tossed aside because there is no more efficiency attached and you aren’t Fulfilling Your Purpose is just fantastic, especially after the line about how she reached out for help that wasn’t given. 

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that-- 1. the words shoot to kill when i’m mad coming after the frustration of her wasted potential is great because it shows that there’s still that resentment towards the people that helped the narrator end up in this situation and she takes it out on them 2. she regrets doing so, whether because they don’t deserve it or because it doesn’t help that. 3. the “i have a lot of regrets about that” line is a motif in the song, but both times it comes back it’s more regrets for things she feels she has no control over than things she’s done 

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here-- i think that this one’s pretty self-explanatory? anyone who was a gifted child knows the feeling of having been great at academics but not necessarily socially or in fields that translate well to “real life” and then ending up at the bottom of things because the skills that you were building left you ill-fit for the way that world actually is. 

the instrumentation and bounciness of betty just feels so nostalgic and childhood summer-lovey in a way that works perfect for two young lovers coming back together after a fight 

6. i don’t know, other than the 1 this album just really feels like what it was going for. there’s a lot of great running themes that make it FEEL like folklore and a few of the songs take some great stuff from folk songs which helps 

the emphasis on narratives and perception and especially movies helps with that. 

as a whole with running themes and motifs and junk, this is definitely some of tswift’s best work. maybe THE best work. some of the songs aren’t necessarily “fun” to listen to and i wouldn’t choose to put some of them on just individually, but they make for a great whole. 

7. i’m not saying you have to listen to folklore because i don’t make your choices but there’s a lot of great stuff on it so 

[just-emotionalistic]

Inquisitor Asks: 6, 20, 36 and 46? :)

Crap I forgot to mention how many inquisitors I've got lol, it took me so long to write all this down ;;;;

From the Inquisitors Asks Meme:

6. Who did they romance and why?

Boithea Lavellan - She romanced Solas, she just felt this...connection to him. Although, she didn't appreciate how anti-Dalish he was, but I like to think they worked it out behind the scenes. Though uh, she has two separate canons that branch off from eachother at one point, one in which she dumps him and maybe tries with someone else (haven't finished it yet though so not sure).

Varadis Lavellan - No-one (yet at least, I haven't finished him, but I'm actually thinking of making him ace/arom).

Mihra Lavellan - ...listen okay I know I'm guilty of being a dumb dumb but Solas again- my reason being isn't attached to canon (she was tranquil, the mark sorta like broke her outta it, Solas was the only one who didn't define her being around her having been tranquil (actively to her knowledge at least)).

Lokhultaar Adaar - Sera, cause they're both absolutely FERAL and Disastor lesbians

Darius Travelyan - Listen, okay, I know, I'm a basic bitch and you can provably already tell who (Dorian, he's super gay, okay)

Thora Bergljot Cadesh - Josephine because Thora is based on me and I'm...heart eyes...for Josephine...

20. Do they trust Morrigan?

Boithea - hhhgh she's 50/50 on it. Not a fan of how Morrigan is so...obnoxious to her when it comes to *her own culture*.

Varadis - Oh he doesn't like her??? At all??? He's a mommas boy and he's so proud of his culture and to have this strange woman suddenly come along and talk down to him about it as if he doesn't know it at all??? Bad!!!

Mihra - she's...not sure, she's rational enough to understand that if she doesn't trust Morrigan then they may not make any progress, but at the same time...she's unsure.

Lokhultaar - Listen, she's gay. Okay kidding, she's a bit...iffy towards mages (with the whole Qunari mage thing), but she goes along with it, making the occasional funny quip here and there, as is expected.

Trevelyan - He'll take allies wherever he can get them. He wouldn't trust her with his life, but she doesn't need to know that.

Thora - Again, based on me, and I'm an idiot, so you KNOW I'd give her my entire trust straight up babey, so yeah she does. (Also because she??? Knows almost nothing about magic and stuff, due to being a dwarf, so.)

36. What was the most difficult choice that had to make?

Boithea - Drinking from the well of sorrows. She knew the implications of basically selling her soul into eternal servitude, however she also didn't trust Morrigan entirely with whatever powers it'd give.

Varadis - The next ruler of Orlais! He has no head for human, especially Orlesian, politics, and the entire time he knew that everything he did or didn't do could lead to a completely different outcome and everyone was riding on him to make the right choice it really stressed him out!!

Mihra - Whether or not to make Cole more real. She didn't want him to lose what he was, but she also wanted him to be safe.

Lokhultaar - She never really had trouble with any choices. Despite her f e r a l nature at heart, she was surprisingly straight to the point and knew exactly what she wanted to do and how she wanted to do it.

Travelyan - Whether or not to save the chargers. He was close with Bull, so obviously he didn't *want* to do it, but on the other hand...possible ties with the Qun?

Thora - Whether or not to banish the Grey Wardens. She was aware that if she did, and a blight happened again, they'd be basically defenseless, but at the same time, they were so easily corrupted...She ended up deciding to not exile them.

46. Which companion/advisor makes them think twice about their choices, if any?

Boithea - She tended to meet her problems with force at the start, but then reading Leliana's and Josephine's reviews of her actions and their suggestions kinda spun her around and started making her try to think harder about her choices.

Varadis - In most cases, he knew his intentions from the start and stuck to them, eventually his companions and advisors learnt that it was better to drop the subject then keep trying.

Mihra - She's always second- guessing herself, prior to the mark she hadn't made a decision for herself for a good few years, and isn't quite sure how to define what choice is the best one. She usually leaves it to her companions and her advisors to choose for her, however she does request they do try to take the most peaceful option, if there is one.

Lokhultaar - Straight forward, force is the only way to get people to listen- until Leliana explains that no, it isn't, and she starts taking input from her less up-front companions when facing a conundrum, but she'll usually still go with her original choice.

Trevelyan - Oh, he'll take advice, but he never really...thinks twice. Usually he's always thinking of the outcome that would be most beneficial to him and trying to figure out how he can reach it, and he'll usually take that path while trying to make it seem like he is taking everyone's advice to heart.

Thora - O H B O Y she uh...yeah...um...she's constantly taking input from everyone and trying to change her methods to suit them but??? It just makes her an absolutely muddled mess of nonsense??? Always doubting her choices and actions and being like "Okay but would [companion/advisor] approve if I did this-" instead of thinking about whether or not she wants to do it.

[honeyandfiregame]

While I was away, I wrote something I thought I'd share. I have no motivations for why I wrote this or even really what inspired me, I guess I was just thinking about hot older guys and that lead to thinking about Day when he's older.

Don't take this as rooted in canon, btw, if you don't want to. As in, the circumstances in this short are not definitely what'll happen in the future if you romance Day. Whatever happens after the credits roll is up to you.

(Under the cut, hopefully, for length. 1.7k. Also I didn't edit this at all. It's not even good or anything)

The breeze that hits your skin is a welcome chill against the warm air surrounding you with the pleasant scent of spring. The ground is hard beneath you and you shift a little, trying to dispel the stiffness of your legs.

"...Best get on, then." The voice is quiet, subdued with a heaviness you know too well. You offer a sad smile in return, but say no more. Normal life can't wait forever.

Your companion rises to his feet. There's not much struggle in his movements, but he can't help but let out a grunt with the effort. Your smile turns fond at the sound, a chuckle escaping you before you can reign it in.

"That was an old man sound, if I ever heard one," you tease, climbing to your feet with much more ease. "Careful. You're not so young and spry anymore."

Day groans. "Stop. You're gonna make me kill myself."

You laugh to yourself. But it's true. How old is he now? Fifties? It's been a couple decades and while you still retain the look of a young adult, albeit at the very beginning of shifting into an adult, Day has... aged, like anyone would.

He's still fit, still dangerous as he always was, but now small lines have carved age into his once youthful skin, and his rich black hair, currently styled away from his face, is tainted by a streak of grey.

You'd be lying if you said he hasn't aged well, though. He is, to this day, one of the most handsome men you ever met and you think only part of that is exaggerated by your love for him. His lips can still curve into that stomach-fluttering smirk, his carmine eyes still hold the steel they always did. Silver fox doesn't begin to cover it.

You pause as he holds a hand out to you, poised to take yours. You cock your head and accept, noting the way his fingers gently close around yours to keep his black claws from catching against your skin. The silver band on his left ring finger glints in the sunlight, a perfect match to the ring on your own hand.

"You sure? We're about to enter town. People are gonna think you're, like... my guardian." You almost chuckle at a memory. "Or worse, that you're rich and I'm desperate."

Day isn't nearly as amused, a hum of indignation rumbling in his chest. "So?" He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, emotions cautiously guarded. "Am I someone you've ever known to care what other people think?"

Your bright smile returns at that. "I suppose that's true. You're one of a kind, Daiya."

He doesn't reply verbally, instead lifting your interlocked hands to his mouth to place a kiss on the back of yours.

Silence falls over you two comfortably for a while, the only sound the crunching of loose gravel beneath your shoes. It's nice, but your mind is wandering several places over. The years have moved on and things have changed, both you and your husband have changed, everything around you has changed...

"Maybe we should get a puppy."

Day nearly stumbles at the words you didn't even realize you were going to speak until they were already out of your mouth. He takes a breath, opening his mouth like he's about to say something but then changes his mind.

His paused footsteps resume, more tension held in his posture than before.

"Very funny," he growls. The way his claws nearly scratch you as his grip tightens suggests he thinks otherwise.

You frown, jogging to catch up to those long legs and their sudden increased pace.

"I'm not trying to be funny this time!" you shoot back, defensive both because you didn't mean it like that and you really don't want him getting moody right now.

You dig your heels into the ground, tugging on his arm to get him to stop. Surprisingly, it works. He doesn't just drag you along like he might if he were really annoyed. Instead he lets out a huff, but swings around to face you. In doing so, however, his hand releases its grip and he defensively folds his arms in front of his chest.

Trying to ignore the cold emptiness you feel in your palm, you sigh. "Day... I'm being serious."

You glance around, thankful to see the road devoid of life other than you two.

"It's been years, you know? Skoll and Hati passed on ages ago and now..." You wave your hands for emphasis. "We just got back from the funeral of your best friend."

"He wasn't my best friend," Day interrupts, smoothly arching an eyebrow.

"Yes, he was," you calmly reply, keeping your voice gentle. You're pleased when he doesn't rebutt you again. Because you both know it's true.

He shakes his head and looks away. A refusal to meet your eyes and a guarded tone, but the tension has eased a bit from his shoulders. "The only shocking part about it all is how long Zenos lasted before he was finally stupid enough to get himself killed. Besides, this and that are two different things. I don't need a dog; I have you."

A small smile tugs at your lips at the sentiment, but you push it back. "Having a dog has always helped you."

He actually meets your eyes again, though you almost wish he hadn't. "What, all my friends are dead and now you think I need a little companion animal to feel okay again? As I said, two different things."

His voice is sharp, that part about him hasn't changed a bit. But you've been together long enough, you don't even flinch away from his glare. You also don't point out he just called them his friends because you're afraid he'd take it back.

"Not all of them," you remind him gently. He sighs.

"I don't speak to Effie or Niina anymore."

"But I do. They know how you're like. They still care about you."

"I didn't ask them to. And I didn't ask you to try and replace my dogs."

Punctuated with an air of finality, Day turns and begins heading down the road. You rush to catch up, halting him again with a hand around his arm. A growl rumbles in his chest, but he doesn't turn his anger on you, he just faces you again with a silence to let you say your piece.

"No one was suggesting replacing your dogs, Day." You clasp your hands together, hoping he can see the sincerity in your eyes. "I'm sorry it came across like that. I just meant..."

"A dog would help me?" Day interrupts before you can gather your thoughts. He rolls his eyes. "Love, I'm fine. For Hells' sake, I'm 53. I'm a grown man. I can handle a little death."

There's a lot to unpack there, particularly the fact that it took him all of two seconds to revert back to that old 'I'm a grown man' excuse. However, you decide you'll save that for later.

"Day..." you start gently, calmness layered over your voice. Almost disturbingly calm, as you reach up to cup his face and guide him closer to you. "Let me speak."

The fight immediately drops from his stance as his shoulders do the same, his mouth shutting so fast you hear his teeth click together. You can almost feel him trying not to roll his eyes again as he straightens himself up.

"Fine." There's no attitude, just a soft resignation.

Though him straightening his posture pulled his face out of reach, your hand stays on him, sliding from his neck to his shoulder. You soothingly rub your thumb in circles as you speak.

"It was just a simple suggestion in the face of a lot of loss lately. Daiya, you have trauma and I meant it when I said your dogs helped you. A new dog can be trained to do the same; when I'm not there with you." You lift your gaze, meaningfully catching his. It's an admittance that's hard to swallow, especially for him. Care for mental health, you've come to know, is not easy to find in the world. Zenos has- had barely been able to find information about what might be wrong with Day, or even you. But it's getting better. Slowly.

You kind of wonder if maybe you'll see the world change for the better eventually. Even if Day won't get to.

You shake the thought from your head, refocusing on your current statement. "But that's not the only reason. I'm not implying you can't handle all this. I'm just saying... I mean..."

You throw your hands out, finding one last tactic in what you admit might be grasping at straws. "I like dogs," you say. "I get lonely sometimes and it gets boring at home without another living creature, or two, to play with."

"It doesn't have to be boring." Day finally breaks his own silence with the suggestive statement. He uses those boyish dimples for evil, a wolfish grin tugging at his lips to reveal semi-feral teeth that look like they're ready to take a bite of you any second.

"Don't change the subject," you snap, sternly holding up a finger. Even if you don't feel all that stern. Because you don't. An excited heat creeps up your neck from your belly at the suggestion behind those words.

Damnit, he did this when he was younger, too.

Day lets out a sigh, swaying back a step and once again holding out a hand for you.

"If you want a dog, we can talk about it more when we get home," he finally gives in. You bite back a victorious grin and slide your hand into his.

Keeping close to his side as you walk, you smile up at him. "You know I love you, right?" Of course he does, but you ask anyway.

He's silent for a moment then gruffly replies, avoiding your gaze, "Yes... I love you too."

Before you can continue that line of conversation and see how embarrassed you can get him, Day suddenly gives a groan.

"We should've taken a damn horse," he growls, one hand pressed against the small of his back.

You smirk. "Old man."

"Hey!" he barks, baring his wicked teeth.

That pleasant walk home quickly turns into a chase, your laughter filling the warm spring air as you go.

[inloveandwords]

This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story).

I’ve decided in 2020 that I’m going to do this twice a month and double the number of books that I’m going through (so, I’ll be doing 20 books for the rest of the year, twice a month). I have way too many books on my Goodreads TBR and I need to fix that!

I’m also thinking about completely redoing my Goodreads shelves – stay tuned!

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 or 10 books (I’m doing 20 because I have way too many on my list)

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

Lost and Found (Emi Lost & Found #1) by Lori L. Otto

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Independent and sensitive, idealistic and hopeful, Emi Hennigan lives her life with optimism and an open mind. Between sharing a tiny Manhattan apartment with her fun-loving roommate and spending most of her free time with her heart-breaker friend, Emi’s seen enough failed relationships to know what to avoid in her quest to find her true love. Not only that, but a single moment from her past lingers in her mind, setting high expectations for every man she dates.

Emi’s best friend, artist and hopeless romantic Nate Wilson, has been her closest companion all of their adult lives. After swearing off love with Emi in a silly high school pact, Nate has been seeing other women in hopes of finding one that evokes stronger feelings than the ones he’s been harboring for Emi since he was a teen. Over the span of a year, boundaries are crossed, feelings are confessed, and their unique friendship begins to blossom into something more.

Through Nate’s eyes, an atypical romance unfolds, disrupting the comfortable safe haven their friendship has provided. With a promising future ahead of them both, fate intervenes to bring two soul mates together.

Photography and cover design by Christi Allen Curtis, assisted by Katrina Boone

Date added to TBR: 12/19/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I don’t remember adding this?

Angels Watching Over Me (Angels Trilogy #1) by Lurlene McDaniel

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Happy Holidays! Bah humbug. “Happy” is not the way Leah Lewis-Hall would describe herself at the moment. She’s spending her twelve days of Christmas in an Indianapolis hospital, while her mother is thousands of miles away on a honeymoon with husband number five. Leah went to the doctor with nothing more than a broken finger, but he ordered her to undergo some tests. Now she’s stuck in the hospital, alone. Then Leah meets her hospital roommate, a young Amish girl named Rebekah, and her big family. Cynical sixteen-year-old Leah has never known people like this before. From Rebekah’s handsome brother, Ethan, who can barely look Leah in the eye, to her kind older sister, Charity, the Amish family captivates Leah with its simple, loving ways. When Leah receives frightening information about her condition, her new friends show her that miracles can happen. And that sometimes angels appear in the most unexpected places.

Date added to TBR: 12/19/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Super not interested in this one anymore

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

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Katherine V thought boys were gross Katherine X just wanted to be friends Katherine XVIII dumped him in an e-mail K-19 broke his heart

When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type happens to be girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact.

On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has ten thousand dollars in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun–but no Katherines. Colin is on a mission to prove The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability, which he hopes will predict the future of any relationship, avenge Dumpees everywhere, and finally win him the girl.

Love, friendship, and a dead Austro-Hungarian archduke add up to surprising and heart-changing conclusions in this ingeniously layered comic novel about reinventing oneself.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I’ve heard good things about this one and I’m still somewhat interested.

Odd Thomas (Odd Thomas #1) by Dean Koontz

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“The dead don’t talk. I don’t know why.” But they do try to communicate, with a short-order cook in a small desert town serving as their reluctant confidant. Odd Thomas thinks of himself as an ordinary guy, if possessed of a certain measure of talent at the Pico Mundo Grill and rapturously in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, Stormy Llewellyn.

Maybe he has a gift, maybe it’s a curse, Odd has never been sure, but he tries to do his best by the silent souls who seek him out. Sometimes they want justice, and Odd’s otherworldly tips to Pico Mundo’s sympathetic police chief, Wyatt Porter, can solve a crime. Occasionally they can prevent one. But this time it’s different.

A mysterious man comes to town with a voracious appetite, a filing cabinet stuffed with information on the world’s worst killers, and a pack of hyena-like shades following him wherever he goes. Who the man is and what he wants, not even Odd’s deceased informants can tell him. His most ominous clue is a page ripped from a day-by-day calendar for August 15.

Today is August 14.

In less than twenty-four hours, Pico Mundo will awaken to a day of catastrophe. As evil coils under the searing desert sun, Odd travels through the shifting prisms of his world, struggling to avert a looming cataclysm with the aid of his soul mate and an unlikely community of allies that includes the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. His account of two shattering days when past and present, fate and destiny converge is the stuff of our worst nightmares, and a testament by which to live: sanely if not safely, with courage, humor, and a full heart that even in the darkness must persevere.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Why is this even on here?

The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain, Jane Aitken, Emily Boyce

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Heroic bookseller Laurent Letellier comes across an abandoned handbag on a Parisian street. There’s nothing in the bag to indicate who it belongs to, although there’s all sorts of other things in it. Laurent feels a strong impulse to find the owner and tries to puzzle together who she might be from the contents of the bag. Especially a red notebook with her jottings, which really makes him want to meet her. Without even a name to go on, and only a few of her possessions to help him, how is he to find one woman in a city of millions?

The Red Notebook has already been sold in twelve different languages. French TV is making a film of The President’s Hat and the movie rights of The Red Notebook have been sold to UGC.

Antoine Laurain was born in Paris. He is the author of five novels, including The President’s Hat.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I don’t get it.

Hold Still by Nina LaCour

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An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide, from a breakthrough new voice in YA fiction.

dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t.

Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself.

Date added to TBR: 12/23/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: The synopsis says this is devastating and I can’t…

Captive Prince (Captive Prince #1) by C.S. Pacat

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From global phenomenon C. S. Pacat comes the first in her critically acclaimed trilogy—with a bonus story.

Damen is a warrior hero to his people, and the rightful heir to the throne of Akielos. But when his half brother seizes power, Damen is captured, stripped of his identity, and sent to serve the prince of an enemy nation as a pleasure slave.

Beautiful, manipulative, and deadly, his new master, Prince Laurent, epitomizes the worst of the court at Vere. But in the lethal political web of the Veretian court, nothing is as it seems, and when Damen finds himself caught up in a play for the throne, he must work together with Laurent to survive and save his country.

For Damen, there is just one rule: never, ever reveal his true identity. Because the one man Damen needs is the one man who has more reason to hate him than anyone else…

Includes an exclusive extra story!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I think this is pretty polarizing, but I’d like to read it to see what I think!

The Assassin and the Pirate Lord (Throne of Glass 0.1) by Sarah J. Maas

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A Throne of Glass novella.

On a remote island in a tropical sea, Celaena Sardothien, feared assassin, has come for retribution. She’s been sent by the Assassin’s Guild to collect on a debt they are owed by the Lord of the Pirates. But when Celaena learns that the agreed payment is not in money, but in slaves, her mission suddenly changes—and she will risk everything to right the wrong she’s been sent to bring about.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I think this is part of Assassin’s Blade

The Assassin and the Desert (Throne of Glass 0.3) by Sarah J. Maas

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The Silent Assassins of the Red Desert aren’t much for conversation, and Celaena Sardothien wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s not there to chatter, she’s there to hone her craft as the world’s most feared killer for hire. When the quiet is shattered by forces who want to destroy the Silent Assassins, Celaena must find a way to stop them, or she’ll be lucky to leave the desert alive.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Empire (Throne of Glass 0.5) by Sarah J. Maas

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Celaena Sardothien is the assassin with everything: a place to call her own, the love of handsome Sam, and, best of all, freedom. Yet, she won’t be truly free until she is far away from her old master, Arobynn Hamel; Celaena must take one last daring assignment that will liberate her forever. But having it all, means you have a lot to lose . . .

This fourth fantastic e-novella gives readers an inside look at the characters who appear in the full-length novel Throne of Glass. Don’t miss out!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Underworld (Throne of Glass 0.4) by Sarah J. Maas

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When the King of the Assassins gives Celaena Sardothien a special assignment that will help fight slavery in the kingdom, she jumps at the chance to strike a blow against an evil practice. The mission is a dark and deadly affair which takes Celaena from the rooftops of the city to the bottom of the sewer–and she doesn’t like what she finds there.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Healer (Throne of Glass 0.2) by Sarah J. Maas

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Meet the Assassin: beautiful, defiant, destined for greatness. Celaena Sardothien has challenged her master. Now she must pay the price. Her journey to the Red Desert will be an arduous one, but it may change the fate of her cursed world forever…

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

A Court of Thorns and Roses eSampler (A Court of Thorns and Roses) by Sarah J. Maas

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Get a FREE sneak peek at the first four chapters of New York Times bestselling author Sarah J. Maas’ thrilling and seductive new series, which blends Beauty and the Beast with faerie lore.

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a beast-like creature arrives to demand retribution for it. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she only knows about from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not an animal, but Tamlin–one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled their world.

As she dwells on his estate, her feelings for Tamlin transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie and warning she’s been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But an ancient, wicked shadow over the faerie lands is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it . . . or doom Tamlin–and his world–forever.

Perfect for fans of Kristen Cashore and George R. R. Martin, this first book in a sexy and action-packed new series is impossible to put down!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Clearly I went crazy adding SJM books and accidentally added this randomly.

Catwoman: Soulstealer (DC Icons #3) by Sarah J. Maas

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When the Bat’s away, the Cat will play. It’s time to see how many lives this cat really has. . . .

Two years after escaping Gotham City’s slums, Selina Kyle returns as the mysterious and wealthy Holly Vanderhees. She quickly discovers that with Batman off on a vital mission, Batwing is left to hold back the tide of notorious criminals. Gotham City is ripe for the taking.

Meanwhile, Luke Fox wants to prove he has what it takes to help people in his role as Batwing. He targets a new thief on the prowl who seems cleverer than most. She has teamed up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, and together they are wreaking havoc. This Catwoman may be Batwing’s undoing.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

Angels’ Blood (Guild Hunter #1) by Nalini Singh

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USA Today bestselling author Nalini Singh introduces a world of beauty and bloodlust, where angels hold sway over vampires…

Vampire hunter Elena Deveraux knows she’s the best—but she doesn’t know if she’s good enough for this job. Hired by the dangerously beautiful Archangel Raphael, a being so lethal that no mortal wants his attention, only one thing is clear—failure is not an option…even if the task is impossible.

Because this time, it’s not a wayward vamp she has to track. It’s an archangel gone bad.

The job will put Elena in the midst of a killing spree like no other…and pull her to the razor’s edge of passion. Even if the hunt doesn’t destroy her, succumbing to Raphael’s seductive touch just may. For when archangels play, mortals break…

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I’ve tried reading books by this author before and I wasn’t super interested.

Monstress, Vol. 1: Awakening (Monstress #1) by Marjorie M. Liu, Sana Takeda

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Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900’s Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, MONSTRESS tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers. Collects MONSTRESS #1-6

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This has actually made a comeback on my radar!

A Rogue by Any Other Name (The Rules of Scoundrels #1) by Sarah MacLean

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What a scoundrel wants, a scoundrel gets…

A decade ago, the Marquess of Bourne was cast from society with nothing but his title. Now a partner in London’s most exclusive gaming hell, the cold, ruthless Bourne will do whatever it takes to regain his inheritance—including marrying perfect, proper Lady Penelope Marbury.

A broken engagement and years of disappointing courtships have left Penelope with little interest in a quiet, comfortable marriage, and a longing for something more. How lucky that her new husband has access to such unexplored pleasures.

Bourne may be a prince of London’s underworld, but he vows to keep Penelope untouched by its wickedness—a challenge indeed as the lady discovers her own desires, and her willingness to wager anything for them… even her heart.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I very rarely read historical romance

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake (Love By Numbers #1) by Sarah MacLean

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A lady does not smoke cheroot. She does not ride astride. She does not fence or attend duels. She does not fire a pistol, and she never gambles at a gentlemen’s club.

Lady Calpurnia Hartwell has always followed the rules, rules that have left her unmarried—and more than a little unsatisfied. And so she’s vowed to break the rules and live the life of pleasure she’s been missing.

But to dance every dance, to steal a midnight kiss—to do those things, Callie will need a willing partner. Someone who knows everything about rule-breaking. Someone like Gabriel St. John, the Marquess of Ralston—charming and devastatingly handsome, his wicked reputation matched only by his sinful smile.

If she’s not careful, she’ll break the most important rule of all—the one that says that pleasure-seekers should never fall hopelessly, desperately in love.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana

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Since Mindfulness in Plain English was first published in 1994, it has become one of the bestselling — and most influential — books in the field of mindfulness. It’s easy to see why.

Author Bhante Gunaratana, a renowned meditation master, takes us step by step through the myths, realities, and benefits of meditation and the practice of mindfulness. The book showcases Bhante’s trademark clarity and wit, as he explores the tool of meditation, what it does, and how to make it work.

This expanded edition includes the complete text of its predecessor along with a new chapter on cultivating loving kindness, an especially important topic in today’s world. For anyone who is new to meditation, this is a great resource for learning how to live a more productive and peaceful life.

Date added to TBR: 12/28/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I ended up unhauling this a while ago.

Immortal Beloved (Immortal Beloved #1) by Cate Tiernan

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Nastasya has spent the last century living as a spoiled, drugged-out party girl. She feels nothing and cares for no one. But when she witnesses her best friend, a Dark Immortal, torture a human, she realizes something’s got to change. She seeks refuge at a rehab for wayward immortals, where she meets the gorgeous, undeniably sexy Reyn, who seems inexplicably linked to her past.

Nastasya finally begins to deal with life, and even feels safe–until the night she learns that someone wants her dead.

Date added to TBR: 12/29/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is still on my bookshelf!

Bye-Bye Books: Decluttering my TBR #1 This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story…

[daggerdove]

A really long ramble about rewriting SitD and why sometimes ideas just stick with you and refuse to die.

I’m going to take a break and write in first person, since this is me talking about my experiences writing this story after all, it makes sense.

To set the stage, I am fourteen years old and watching The Lost Boys for what is probably the fourth or fifth time within the month of June.  I latch on to movies sometimes, for a while it was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I remember watching How to Train your Dragon on close to repeat, sitting in front of Practical Magic for hours at a time.

In the summer of 2011 it was The Lost Boys.  You see I had come out of my twilight phase before this point, I was buried in The Tale of the Body Thief, in Daniel’s unwilling surrender, in Vampire Academy because the struggle of Rose Hathaway was so endlessly interesting to me.  In Shattered Mirror and In the Forests of Night, because Amelia Atwater-Rhodes was barely older than me when she published her first books.

I had written vampire stories before.

Christa Morgan was still the sharp tongued huntress she had always been, fighting for her life and trying not to let her best friend die like the rest of her family had.  But I had hit a rock with her story long before this point, a mountain pass I could not find my way through.  

Aria and Melody were on hold while I thought over the consequences of a world where eye color could denote whether or not you’d killed someone you were related to.

Then I was buried in fanfiction to extend this universe that there seemed to be so little of.  My obsessions grew far and I was hungry for whatever was written well, though my standards at the time were admittedly low.  I’ve revisited some of those stories lately, to find them holding up surprisingly well.  

So I sat down to extend the universe myself.

Alexandra Blackwood was born of that endeavor, and like me at this start, she was fourteen.  Turning 15 on September 9th.  She wasn’t a self insertion, how Christa started out, she was brash and scared and all around a pretty broken kid.  I’d settled on her upbringing being shit from the start and I pulled from relatives and friends lives to give life to how these things had affected her.  There wasn’t a lot to go off of at first, it was generic as they come when fanfiction sprung from this movie.  Another kid goes off to Santa Carla and falls in step with the boys.

In this case the only original Lost Boy I kept was David, since in the novelization of the movie there was a post-end scene of him having turned a handful of surf nazis, one being Shane who would move up to Luna Bay with his own crew of exceptionally violet buddies.  I liked the idea of having a new group of people, especially since while I felt comfortable in David in the way I always feel comfortable writing those of questionable morals and exceptional cruelty: I didn’t feel comfortable in my abilities to capture Marko, Paul, and Dwayne.

Making people scream over my lack of ability to do so was not something I wanted.

And thus Eric, Kyle, and Jesse were born.

Only two of them survived into this edition of the rewritten mess, only one of them stayed in his semi-original state (Jesse, my green haired ball of energy).  I wrote the story very fast for my pace at the time, I flew through chapters like it was nothing until about 14 or 15 in.

That’s when things started getting weird.

See by this point I was working simultaneously on this mess of a fanfiction, and writing a companion that had the copyrighted materials removed, hence David becoming Daniel, and Santa Carla becoming Twin Lakes (a little town barely a mile across just below Santa Cruz, in case anyone wondered).  I changed the story very little in the first rewrite, which I have since trashed and can no longer see the light of day, though it may still exist on a flash drive somewhere labeled ‘Safe - 23036’ which was the word count at the time.  Pretty impressive for a 14 year old who had never written more than 10k before and that being over the course of years rather than a handful of months.

I had a cheerleader though.  There was this woman in Australia who got very attached to both versions of my story, and needed something to read after putting her kids to bed.  So whenever I hit a rut I reminded myself I had someone waiting for this, waiting and excited, and forward I plowed.

Back to things getting, weird.  The longer Alex waited to feed the less cohesive her mind became, she had dreams that lasted days and hallucinations about real people that she hadn’t even met.  Things that, if I remember correctly, still got cut from the last-most-recent rewrite, the one before this one, the one with a little over 2 dozen chapters and a handful of alternate endings and off shoots because gods know I can’t make up my mind.

Well, scratch that, looks like I did include that weird bullshit in the last rewrite.  Go me, those chapters are absolutely a confusing pile of shit.  But apparently I wanted to keep them.  That rewrite happened in, oh I dunno, 2014 or so?  Maybe it was 2013, I think it might have been.  I don’t know for sure, but I do know it got a huge overhaul and moved further away from The Lost Boys so that it could stand better on its own.

By this time I think I had changed Alex’s age to match mine again?  16 or 17 or something around there, just because I remember going back and reading and thinking ‘What dumb fuck 14 year old lets herself join a bunch of fuckin vampires, and what vampires allow that???’  So I upped her age a bit, which I’ve done again in the current version, to match my own age, again, making her 20 going on 21.

I remember the first time I finished these stories, it was maybe halfway through January of 2012 when I started the sequel, having set up for it at the end back in December.  Kayla Raes was born of probably the least thought out romance of all time, rest assured I’ve built up Alex and Isaac’s relationship much more this time.  But at this time they were just, together, because reasons?  I guess?

Now more than half that characters in this damn book are queer, so whatever.

Anyways.

Kayla Raes, who inexplicably has David/Daniel’s eyes and doesn’t think to question it when these fuckers show up and offer her immortality.

Which she takes and then after realizing that she’s still being controlled, kills the FUCK out of David/Daniel and unfortunately Isaac dies in the process and there’s some bullshit going on there but we don’t need to go into “Free” I really don’t follow that ending anymore.

Originally Alex either killed Isaac or escaped with him in the end.

Because I didn’t even touch on the fact that her parents were worthy targets.

It didn’t even really come up until I did I one shot AU of my own damn story called “Feral” where the boys would just feed people vampire blood, drop them back in the streets, give them a week to kill someone and if they didn’t, kill them.  Alex attacked a woman in the streets, demanded answers from Daniel, originally she turned here, like she killed the woman and that was the end of it.  I wasn’t sure where I was bringing the story from that point.  But it did spawn the beginnings of this rewrite.

Of Alex becoming a vampire without killing Isaac.

Now, shoot forward to what is the very beginnings of 2017, I haven’t so much as touched this story in years, I do occasionally re-read it for the parts I enjoy.  The scene in San Francisco for the sake of cementing Alex’s fear of trying to run away from Daniel, the image of his hair soaked red and the bones of that last girl cracking under his hands.  The opening of Alex discovering the whole vampire thing, of almost killing Isaac in the shop, shaking and calling 911 and not quite knowing what else to do or what she’s done.  Jesse leaving to go find his sister Sarah after years of her being a missing persons case, finding her dead just outside Chicago with a broken arm and two bullets in her head.  Things I still loved the descriptions of, things that still flowed the way I felt they did the first time I’d written them.

But oh gods the mess that was most of the story.

I opened with a clean slate.

With one single chapter written.

Alex discussing the possibility of killing her parents with Daniel.  She’s been fighting for months now, and the pain is so bad most of the time she can barely leave bed.  Daniel is emphasizing her lack of time, and how worried they are getting about her. By this time the ‘they’ is different, still Jesse, but Eric and Kyle are gone and there is now a girl named Moira, who is small and fiery and slow to like people.  

They talk about her parents, about how nobody could blame her for wanting to see them dead and gone.  She’s afraid to go back and Daniel offers to kill them for her if it turns out she can’t bring herself to do it.

They go, she kills them, everything is fine.

That was how this rewrite started.

That was the only thing I had cemented in my mind.  The vision of her obliterating everything that had caused her pain in the past and using it to move forward.  To start a new life.

I also moved this shit to the east coast so that I was more familiar with the setting.  Since I’m a Vermonter and I know Maine and New Hampshire pretty damn well, especially the coastal parts of Maine.  She did still spend time in Santa Cruz, but I left that to memory.