#ooc -> flipped reference kinda??

[evannhansensletters]

What’s your favourite type of tree?

Every time I think about sycamore trees, I think of him.

Like the time we've woven together. Rough patches, soft whispers.

Branches reaching out and intertwining, yet sometimes swaying apart.

Yet the roots that are deep and steadfast remind me of our bond.

Like sycamores, we bend, we sway, but never break.

In this forest of life hand in hand we'll create our own ecosystem. A testament to growth, to change. Resilient, ever-reaching, forever intertwined.

At the same time, his beauty resembles a sycamore tree as well.

I could write about him for hours on end.

[mydarlingclaudia]

bunnies love bouncing

note : divider is from @/aquazero. my mutuals have been making me think about ogre4 Leon more than I already do so this is what I spat out I know this kinda sucks. sorry I always have to write like eight paragraphs of lore before the smut starts it's who I am. Leon is ooc sorry I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE HIM dw about it kitten. I don't know how I feel about this one. mdni

wc : 1.7k

tags : @lottiies

desc : you're supposed to make him feel good, why not make him feel even better? smut!! - unprotected p in v, reverse cowgirl, light choking. little bit of fluff, fem!hybrid!reader, post re4og!Leon, not proofread.

The whole reason Leon got you was because you were supposed to be therapeutic, somehow. He didn't really understand how having a roommate he had to take care of was supposed to help him feel better, he didn't even feel like he even needed therapy, but the whole situation had been referred to him by some other agents in the DSO before Spain, but when you were the hybrid that had been picked out for him and you looked at him with your pretty little eyes with your cute rabbit ears twitching atop your head, Leon couldn't really imagine turning you away.

Leon can't help but be a little bit mean to you, you're so easy to tease and he loves the way your nose twitches and your foot thumps against the floor when you get upset. You always forgive him in a matter of minutes, anyway, all he has to do is open his palm and show you a piece of candy he had hidden away and you're already nestled into his side.

His least favorite part of having you might be having to buy you clothes. You take so long to try on everything, and you insist on showing him each new outfit you get to make sure it looks nice or that he likes it. And you always want these cute panties and bras, which of course absolutely had to be modeled for him. But whenever it came to underwear, you’d pull Leon into the fitting room, which made everything way too close for comfort, and you’d spin around and ask him if the underwear looked good on you and he’d have to pretend he wasn’t starting to feel hot. Not to mention how cute your little cottontail looked perched above your panties.

And you’re cute, always waiting by the door for Leon when he comes back from work, snuggling up to him so quickly that he has to pry you off of him to even be able to get his shoes off. He’ll tell you to scram for a few minutes while he unpacks his things and finishes whatever paperwork he had to take home with him, you always sigh and wander into the living room to watch tv, hoping Leon will be done soon so he’ll keep paying attention to you.

You got attached quickly, that made Leon feel kinda good, he supposed. Leon had to get your own flip phone for when he went away on missions, in case of an emergency or to order yourself pizza, but you ended up calling his agency more often than not. And you were allowed to since you were registered as a therapy hybrid under the agency, you weren’t allowed to speak to Leon directly when he was on the job, but Hunnigan would always let him know when you called and asked how he was doing, she always humored you, it was cute to her.

Having you around does make him feel a bit better, getting extra attention is nice and you’re always so sweet to him, Leon figures that taking care of you isn’t too bad sometimes.

He gets to see you naked every so often.

It’s cute, you always strip down to nothing when it gets too hot at night, it doesn’t stop you from sweating through the night, unfortunately. You’d always wander into Leon’s room come morning and ask him for a bath, trying to climb into his bed even when you were still naked.

The first time you had done it, he had groaned and held his hands out in front of his eyes to keep himself from oogling you for too long, but you had flopped down onto his stomach and just laid there for a few minutes while he debated whether or not this was a good idea or not.

It became more normal now, not that he minded, he likes to reach down and give your tail a gentle yank just to hear you yelp. Maybe even “accidentally” grope you just because he can.

You sit too close to him sometimes, too. Sometimes you’re on his lap, either facing away from him or with your head buried in his neck, either way, he’s gripping onto your legs, trying not to focus on how you’re squirming in his lap.

He likes when you curl up into his bed at night, you grip onto him like a bear-trap and don’t let go until morning. Leon’s aware of everything all the time, especially on how your lips are pressed against his neck, he knows you’re not trying to kiss him, but he can delude himself a tiny bit.

You were so sweet tonight, babbling about how you had missed him and how warm he felt. Leon couldn’t help but kiss your cheek, you had giggled as you squeezed him tighter and pressed a few kisses to his cheek in return.

Things escalated kind of quickly. One second you and Leon are kissing each other's faces, the next his tongue is down your throat, then the very next, your back is to him as you ride him.

Leon’s grip on your hips is almost bruising, guiding your body while your hands grip just above his knees to keep yourself upright. He can’t tear his gaze away from your cottontail, smiling to himself as he watches it twitch.

“You’re so cute,” Leon murmurs, pulling you down to meet his upward thrust. You groaned, your nails digging into his skin, Leon’s hands left your hips and trailed up your stomach until he cupped your breasts, yanking you back against his chest. “So sweet for me, too.”

His lips attach to your shoulder, planting kisses on any open space he could find. While his hips were busy rutting against you, driving his dick into you, his hands busied themselves with kneading your tits, rolling your nipples between his fingertips.

“You were such a-a blabber-mouth before, mm fuck, you’re finally quiet now, hm?” Leon teases, his nails digging into the soft flesh of your breasts.

“M-missed you,” You pant, moving faster to match his movements, you smile to yourself when he lets out a groan as you clamp down around him.

“I know, God- mhm- always so good to me. Just wanna make me feel good, yeah?”

“Yeah,”

“You’re doing a pretty good job. Sooo perfect, holy shit-“ He stops fucking up into you for a few seconds, letting you do the work as focused on the feeling of your hot cunt sucking him in. You had been so ready for him when he pulled off your panties, he couldn't help but drool a little at the sight of you all wet for him, couldn't hold back from giving your clit a few kisses and gentle nips, either.

Leon's right hand leaves your breast to move behind you, tugging at the tips of your droopy rabbit ears, tipping your head back a little bit as you hiss. He tuts, bringing the furry flap of cartilage to his mouth to press a kiss against it, finally deciding to start bucking his hips again.

Holy Hell, the wet sounds coming from the two of you were gonna be stuck in his head for the next two weeks, at least. Not to mention the noises falling from your mouth and the way you looked bouncing up and down on his cock, he'd have to have you facing him the next time you do this.

And you felt like you were on fire.

You weren't gonna tell Leon, but you've been wishing for this to happen since forever. And maybe it's dumb to crush on the guy who takes care of you, but you can't help it! Just like how you can't help humping his pillows when he's gone, or wearing his shirts when you have a whole closet full of clothes you asked him to buy you, but this was way better than any of that. You were willing to do this until you were all sore and Leon had to do all the work, you wouldn't even mind passing out.

And he felt better than any dream you could have, mostly because of how he's hardly giving you a break, but also because it's him.

You're pulled from your barely-there thoughts as Leon's bicep wraps around your throat, squeezing gently as your head tips back and his other hand shoots down to play with your clit. Was he trying to drive you crazy? Your hands grip his arm, fingernails digging into his flesh as you try to ground yourself, trying to take in as much air as you can in case he decides to squeeze harder.

"Feel good?" He mutters against the side of your head, smiling as you nod. His fingers poke and pinch at your clit, your own thrusts start slowing down as you begin to feel your orgasm start to coil up in your belly.

Your head droops down, resting against his bicep as his grip loosens, you almost whine when his fingers leave your clit to hold onto your stomach, keeping you against him even more.

"Gonna tell my boss to give you a f-fucking promotion when we're done," Leon pants, the noises coming from his mouth slowly becoming more needy, doing nothing to aid in stopping your arousal. "Cum, please. Gonna lose it. Shit-"

Leon offers up a few more hard thrusts before you feel the coil snap and you cum, biting down on his forearm as you breathe through your nose. Leon isn't far behind, his thrusts become lazy as he reaches his own high, his arm moves from your neck to wrap around your shoulder to hold onto you tightly, you shiver as you feel his cum coat your insides.

"Happy?" You mumble to him, tilting your head to rest against his as you teasingly tease his spent dick, listening to him groan while he weakly thrusts against you.

"Very," Leon presses a kiss to your head and loosens his grip on you, letting you rise off of him. "Let me see your face, next time." You turn to face him, draping your legs over his while you lay down on the bed and catch your breath. Leon should have gotten you sooner.

"You can see my face now,"

"Don't play dumb, you know what I mean."

[dumplingsfordays]

tutoring sessions

Dan Heng x fem!reader

genre - smut

summary - your tutor (and friend) gets a little hot under the collar after you tease him, and things escalate a little (by a little I mean a lot).

cw!: nsfw (sexual themes), friends to (implied) partners, oral (dan heng receiving), praise, virgin!reader, virgin!dan heng, all characters 18+, kinda subby dan heng (he's also very vocal hehe), voyeurism kinda, reader is referred to as 'good/pretty girl' but that's really it for gendered language, implied that dan heng's still v thirsty for reader once the fic ends 👀

note - this is my first smut fic so I'm sorry if this is badly written 😭😭 dan heng might be a little ooc but I'll just roll w it... I was working on a fluff version of this but I accidentally posted the draft and I couldn't un-post it so I'm crying rn it was so long too-

and as always, thank you for reading :)

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

"And today's topic..." the raven-haired man flips to a page in the calculus textbook that he's holding, "is mathematical induction."

"That sounds super hard!" you sigh playfully. "Can we please do something else?"

"Sum and product identities?"

"No!"

"How about-" he flips further, "-sigma notation?"

"Also sounds super hard."

"But it isn't."

"You say that everytime!"

"We do have to start somewhere, though," he remarks with a small smile.

For a split second, you remember where this whole thing actually started. Ah yes, your room, six months ago... when your parents hired him and you came downstairs to find a complete stranger your age sitting at the dinner table. You remember being confused about what classes you shared with him - he did seem familiar in a way, so you just assumed that you had some shared classes. Back then, he was very quiet, very low-profile, and look at him now! Talkative, compassionate, cheeky (only sometimes), kind... if you really excelled in English class, then you might've called him a bloomed flower or something else of the sort. He looks so different now, though - you don't know if it's the chill of the night air that's trickling through the open window by your desk, or the soft, mellow glow of the fairy lights strung up around your room, or if it's just your stupidly big crush on him... it's probably the latter, now that you think about it.

"Well, I don't want to start anything." You lean back in your chair and close your eyes, relishing in the way that you can practically feel his mock-disappointed gaze on you.

"I guess we'll end the sessions here then," he sighs. You weren't sure if he was kidding or not - something about his tone hinted that he wasn't, so, not really thinking it through, you spring back forward to the table and cup your face in your hands with your elbows on your desk. You look up at him in desperation.

"There's no need to do that," you pout, "I just don't feel like doing anything, you know?"

"Come on, let's just finish at least one lesson today," Dan Heng urges, leaning in a little as he does. He smiles encouragingly and pats your back, but you're still not planning on giving in to the agony of work.

"Why do we have to do that, though?" you whine, now folding your arms on your desk and laying your head down on them. It's now his turn to lean back in his chair.

"Okay, so what are you lacking in right now?" he asks, running a hand through his hair to get some wild strands out of his eyes. "Why don't you want to do anything today?" You hate yourself for the fact that you felt your face redden at his action.

"Lack motivation, probably," you bury your face in your arms now, trying to hide the prominent blush on your cheeks.

You hear him hum - a low, pleasant sound. "Motivation..."

As you hear seconds tick by on the clock across the room, your heartbeat calms down and just as you're sure that the redness covering your face and the tips of your ears has faded-

"Just be a good girl and if we get through at least one topic tonight, you'll get a reward. Is that good enough motivation for you?"

You tremble at his voice. It's persuasive and smooth and deep and makes something deep inside of your stomach flutter - was he messing with you? Did he know about you having a crush on him and was teasing you?

You tilt your head to look at him and instantly regret it. He's leaning in so much that you can feel small breaths of air escaping him as he breathes, his eyes trained on yours.

Then he leans back again and smiles, still keeping eye contact, while you, wide-eyed, bewildered, gawk at him.

"Just kidding." The audacity to say that! After you thought that he was flirting and actually took it seriously! Oh, you just had to get revenge.

"No, no, I'll do it," you raise your brows in defiance, a cheeky smile dancing on your lips. "I'll be a good girl."

This does him in. Now he's the blubbering fool, mouth opening and closing like a fish's, trying to process what you said. The fact that you could make Dan Heng, the least expressive person you've ever met, turn into a tomato from just a simple sentence was extremely satisfying.

"You don't have to," he stammers. In a few quick movements he's back at the table, arms folded in his lap. You notice that they're not relaxed, no, his hands are balled up into white-knuckled fists - should you really keep on teasing?

Immediately, you decide that yes, you should.

"But I want to."

For a split second you think that you heard something, maybe a faint meow from a stray cat or a little creak of the walls, but then you realize that the sound came from a much closer origin. Dan Heng, at this point, is tense all over - you can see his jaw clench and his fists growing tighter, nails probably leaving small white crescents in his skin. He's doubled over, too, like he has a stomachache. At this, you immediately feel regret, and all the seductiveness and sass from your voice vanishes in an instant, replaced with concern.

"You okay?"

"Yes," he says, still avoiding eye contact, "Yes, I'm good- can I just go to the bathroom for a sec?"

"Are you..?" You trail off, scared to finish your sentence at the possible implications. He swallows thickly and stands up, trying his best to cover his problem with his shirt, and just as he's about to exit your room-

"You can stay, if you want to..."

He slowly turns his head around, totally stunned at your words.

"I mean," you babble nervously, "my parents are still home, and there's a chance that they'll see your- um, friend, and..."

Before you can internally slap yourself for letting your mouth run like a river, he swivels around fully and his hand leaves the doorknob.

"You're sure?" he whispers.

"Only if you are," you reply, looking directly into his eyes, and Dan Heng awkwardly trudges back over to sit beside you on your bed, a blush dusting his face.

"I don't really know how to start," he admits, "I've never really... you know."

"Me neither," you reply with a nervous chuckle, trying to make light of the situation. "I mean, if you're up to it, I guess we can start with, um, kissing, or something..."

As if on cue, he leans towards you, cupping your cheek in his hand, and your eyes close as your lips touch.

It's your first kiss, too, so you don't really have anything to go off of, but this kiss makes your knees weak and you press your hands against his broad chest, seeking stability. He wraps his other hand around your waist at this action and as the kiss deepens, his lips travel down your jaw and to your neck, eventually coming to rest on your collarbone, where he plants another kiss and leans further into your touch.

You, meanwhile, reach for the tent in his sweatpants and start to rub it though the fabric, eliciting a whine from the larger man. He bucks up into your palm, desperate for more friction, and raises his lips to the shell of your ear, whimpering and quietly gasping in overwhelming pleasure. His large hands finally settle on your waist and his fingers dig into your skin as you continue your ministrations and smile into his shoulder.

"Please," he begs softly, "need to feel you 'round me."

He didn't need to tell you twice as you immediately get the hint and drop down to your knees in front of him. You hook a finger over the band of his sweatpants, tugging at it while looking up at Dan Heng with pleading, wide eyes.

He mutters an expletive when he lifts his hips up, cheeks reddening every second that passes, and as the clothes pool around his ankles, you can see the outline of his thick cock through the material of his boxers.

You decide to tease him (again, and you will never get tired of it because his reactions are way too cute to stop) and glide your fingers over the bulge, at which he squirms, but doesn't dare to take his eyes off of yours.

His hips rise again, and another article of clothing is shed, but this time his lower half is completely naked, so you finally get to see what he's been packing in there.

It's gorgeous compared to the ones that you've seen online. It's standing at attention, slightly twitching whenever your hot breath meets the tip. Dan Heng sees your eyes widen and swallows nervously as you subconsciously lick your lips.

"Is it not...?" he trails off, eyebrows furrowed.

You shake your head, still mesmerized. "No, no, it's very pretty."

He whines when you lean closer to it, eventually bringing it to rest against your cheek. You look up at the man as your hand wraps around its base and you hum at how warm it is.

"You ready?" you ask. You're rubbing your thighs together at this point - his half-lidded eyes, red, swollen lips parted in a sigh, and cheeks dusted with pink elicit a reaction from you like no erotic content ever could.

"Yes- yes, (y/n), please, need you so much, please," he gasps desperately, hands reaching to his sides and grabbing the blanket underneath him. You fulfill his request with a light kiss to the red tip of his now-leaking cock (at which a whimper escapes his lips and he almost bucks up) and take it into your mouth.

His long fingers weave through your hair at the back of your head in an attempt to feel more of you - you then moan, sending delicious vibrations to his cock which throbs in appreciation.

"You're s'warm," Dan Heng hisses through his teeth above you, tears about to fall from his watery eyes, "so, so tight, fuck! Such a good girl f'me, yeah-"

You take more of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as his tip hits the back of your throat. Your gag reflex activates and your throat constricts - the raven-haired man above you nearly chokes at the feeling while you drag your lips off of his cock.

"'M sorry," you whisper as you slowly stroke it, feeling it pulse in your soft hands.

"Don't be, that was - ah - felt so good," he pants. "You okay, though?"

"Yeah, 'm all right... can we continue, though?"

"Please."

You stop stroking it and attempt to fit it all in once more, sharp gasps coming from the man above you. You almost reach the base, but his tip prods against the back of your throat so you have no choice but to suck it, bobbing your head up and down on his cock. Rogue specks of your saliva land on it just to pool on your lips as they hungrily come back down his shaft.

He's arching his back from the pleasure, applying a little pressure to your head to guide it in a steady rhythm. His hips start bucking up faster and faster as he gets close to his orgasm - he's shaking his head, screwing shut his eyes as deep, throaty groans are ripped from his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... doin' so well, pretty girl - ah! - makin' me feel s'good, yeah? 'M gonna cum, baby, just keep - fuck - suckin' me off like that like a good girl, please, fuck, please-"

Eventually he can't take it anymore. His hips are now wildly thrusting up into your mouth, lower abs flexing at the movements, he's panting, drooling, and crying all at the same time - it's so overwhelming and it feels so amazing that he cums with a single, broken moan.

Dan Heng's chest is heaving up and down as he comes down from his high, soothing hand petting your head gently. You attempt to stand, but fail as you topple back onto the ground, laughing.

"Cock so good you can't stand back up?" he teases jokingly, and lends you his hand so he can pull you back up onto the bed.

"Hah, you wish," you smirk back and giggle again. "So, what are we then? Are we still friends, or have we been demoted to student and tutor again?"

His eyes narrow and cloud with lust as an idea pops into his head - you swallow nervously when you meet his darkened gaze. He grabs your wrist and pushes you back, his other hand now greedily kneading your thigh.

"We'll see after I repay you."

[forsakenwitchery]

It's been a long time since I've really ranted about something on here but like.

HOTD is just… On another level of bad? At some point this season, I got so tired of getting angry with the writing I just straight up started laughing at almost every single scene. I managed to find a sliver of enjoyment in the shitshow what S2 turned out to be. Not anymore.

Small costest backstage at the end because I felt like looking at myself smiling after writing all this down lol

Having seen some and read about some E8 leaks I'm just… I guess I'm checking out. What they've done to the Greens and specifically Aemond this season is Merlin's 'Morgana suddenly full evil' level of shit writing. And I can't handle yet another favorite nuanced character of mine being stripped of any nuance by the shit writers. But at least with Morgana there was a lot of her, and with Aemond it's 2 minutes of peak character assassination per episode and it isn't cutting it.

I feel so bad for Ewan and the rest of the Green actors who gave it their all - and in some scenes you can clearly see Ewan giving his all trying to fight the shitty writing, but there's only so much an actor can do with a script so bad.

Like when in ep. 5 everyone kept referring to Aemond as if he's suddenly Satan incarnate (Alicent, Daemon ahhh pretty sure there was someone else this episode ‘cause I remember three characters) I knew they decided to flip the switch with Aemond suddenly going full caricature villain (and yeah he was no saint BUT LIKE BBQ-ING HIS BRO?) with no proper buildup for it but HOLY SHIT I didn’t think it would be ‘blink and he’s full on sociopathic villain’. And the way they really did try and hammer that point home with him yanking Helaena now is just… Fucking wild. But like, he wasn’t wrong with dismissing Alicent who turned out to be the biggest traitor on TG this season (RIP S1 Alicent). He’s not wrong in saying they need Dreamfyre. But the show sure did go about him technically not being wrong yet showing it in the worst way possible very... head-on and with lacking any nuance. It truly feels like Condal & Co just couldn’t handle how popular Aemond became in S1 and gave him as little screen time as possible while simultaneously trying to make him as unsympathetic and suddenly 180 as possible. Which just doesn’t work without the proper buildup if you stop to think for even one second.

Then we’ve got Alicent who drilled it into her sons’ heads they’ll be dead unless they fight Rhae and now she’s also 180 and doesn’t understand why they want to fight and turns out to be the biggest traitor basically surrendering her children, the city and her brother to the woman whose husband killed her grandchild. The fuck did S1 Alicent go? Can we see her? Is she in the room with us? You know, the one jumping Rhae with the knife for Aemond? By all means, she and Aemond should have had a dynamic akin to Cersei and Joffrey’s if they were dead-set on making Aemond pretty much THE (only) villain in the show (which should have been about everyone being a criminal lmao). But like… We came to THIS? THE FUCK. THE FUUUUCK. Like imagine for one second Cersei pretty much throwing her kids to their enemies. This is. I don’t know which level of bad writing is this. We’re so far past the rock bottom at this point, the bottom doesn’t exist, the depths this season has reached don’t even have a proper name.

Then we’ve got Helaena. All season I’ve been waiting to see more of her. All season. And I waited. And waited. Her being the Dreamer sounded cool on paper. And they just ended up using her as a device to show ‘Aemond bad’ again? And HELP DAEMON? And like... to spoil the end of the story for those unfamiliar? THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Like damn, I knew they were baiting us with the promo and I knew it would be OOC for her to want to fight but at the same time I was kinda hoping at least she’d want to? Like she’s sane in the show. Her son was beheaded in front of her eyes. I kept hoping this show would have at least ONE female character actually willing to fight, but no. The balcony scene was good. But in spite, not thanks to what the writers clearly meant for this scene to be. Phia and Ewan really did give this scene their all and try to add nuance where they just once again tried to write Aemond off as a dick.

I haven’t seen the Aegon scene but apparently, they tried to make him look dumb again? And since there’s no rush to vacate KL in the show, why the hell didn’t he try to at least take his daughter with him? Like we get it, show, you hate the Greens and therefore all the Greens hate each other apparently (not buying it no matter how much you’re selling it tho), so him not bothering with Helaena is like okaaaay suuuure (not), but HIS KID? He was the hightlight of the first part of this season, and now we're... back at it again. Yay.

Also tbh I hated Daemyra as a concept in S1 as a ship but I LOVED their dynamic if it makes sense. It was truly interesting and both characters really shone in their shared scenes, so when Rhae’s arc this season started to feel like Groundhog Day I really missed Daemyra since at least their push and pull with Daemon made her feel more alive and interesting idk. But like. Their reunion scene looks like a grand meh? Daemon looks like he cares. Rhae came off to me like she doesn’t give a single fuck about him. Rhae in general was one of my fave characters in S1 and now it’s just. Huh? Them trying to saintify her absolutely ruined the character for me, she’s just so bland now which with her amount of screen time just… Doesn’t make for a very compelling show.

So. Yep. Those are my thoughts and feelings. tbh I don’t even know when I became so attached to the Greens. Like maybe it was in spite of the show trying to ruin and ignore them. Sort of like when you start rooting for the underdogs. But now I just feel really hollow and drained and sad for the actors. On both teams tbh, ‘cause like… What even is the point of this show anymore? There’s no war. Aemond is the only one who’s willing to wage it and the show villainizes him for it. Even in ep. 8 Rhae still says she doesn’t wanna fight the war. What did we spend 8 episodes, then, on aside from some character assassinations?

What’s the point if you don’t really feel anything towards most of the characters? Not even anger or apathy? ‘Cause like, I couldn’t care less when Rhaenys died. I’m sure when Jace kicks the bucket it would be the same. If the characters themselves can’t be bothered (where’s the aftermath for Blood and Cheese ffs?), why and HOW the hell should the viewers care? I’m sure they’ll find a way to make even Helaena’s death as meaningless as possible with giving her zero agenda in the matter.

I truly don’t think I’ll be watching S3. I don’t think I have it in me to witness how they screw up the Greens even more than they already did. It’s not even fun anymore how dumb the show is, it’s just draining. Motivations and relationships changing 180 between episodes or even during them (sometimes even during scenes), major events not phasing anyone and having no consequences. Characters the show chose as THE main characters living in Groundhog Day with nothing to do. We’re supposed to just believe the characters are suddenly completely different than they were weeks/months ago in show’s time just because the show says so. HOW ABOUT NO?

I’m only holding out hope for Daeron but at this point? I’m sure he’ll have a total o 1-2 minutes of screen time each episode as well and they’ll ruin him somehow, too. Still funny though how him and Aemond are both 16 which I’m sure is just another writing plot hole but on the off chance it isn’t… The only cool and redeemable thing the show can do at this point in my eyes is make Daeron and Aemond twins. You know, at the very least to give Ewan the screen time he deserves AND give him some better material to work with. But ah well.

At this point I’m choosing to more or less ignore everything that’s happened in S2, ‘cause the sure itself sure as hell ignored 2/3 of it, so why can’t I. Honestly, I want to do a full Helaena and Aemond cosplay, not a costest, if not for any other reason than to freaking forget S2 ever happend and maybe do some scenes which should have been in it, shippery or not. tbh I wasn't even shipping Helaemond until I saw Ewan and Phia's interviews about them and I was SO HYPED. And Tom's interviews. I was so hyped for siblings interecting in general and I feel like both the actors and the audience were done dirty in the worst way possible.

Also also the last thing I want to say is that it's super sad to see viewers turning on Aemond because it's so clear that's what the show wants everyone to do and neither Aemond nor Ewan deserve it. That's very telling of how badly he's written this season, he's not a villain you love to hate, he's just there for people to hate him. I hope at least Ewan doesn't get hate for his character, but we all know some people are braindead enough to project characters onto actors, so... :(

ALSO ALSO ALSO I don't really feel like fighting over this show because I don't think it deserves any more of my nerve cells, so should anyone decide to come at me for this post don't bother, I'll just reply with print screening this part. But it's kinda funny how tumblr seemed to have an actual war over this show when the show straight up refused to commit to anything.

To everyone who has read thus far – here, have some cute backstages from our costest. I’m sure we could all use a hug and a laugh. I know I could.

[rykno-j]

Stay? (B/SD)

Summary: basically c/huuya gets sick and d/azai takes care of him, very cliche

Ship: s/kk

Notes: my first b/sd fic. honestly i never intended to write one, but here we are. This fic was drafted Sept 21 2023 and wow that's been awhile huh.

They might be a little ooc here since i'm trying my hand at their characterisation for the first time. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!

also i figured ild add this in here but this fic is sickfic>snzfic so there isnt much of that kinda stuff here

Word count: 4.5k

------------------------------------------------

"Chuuya, rest."

The red markings on Chuuya's arm slowly disappeared as he fell to the floor in a soft grunt. Letting go of his arm down in an action of indifference, Dazai stepped over his sprawled out body.

"Took you long enough, honestly. It was almost like you were taking your own sweet time, don't want me to touch you that badly?"

When he was met with no response, Dazai sighed dramatically.

"Chibi? Oi, are you dead? You're not allowed to go before me, you know that. Oi!"

He turns back, this time with an eyebrow raised at the unmoving Chuuya-lump on the floor. Seriously? He would've expected the slug to reply with a "I'll kill you first" or a punch of sorts.

Chuuya was never quite as energetic after using Corruption, but this silence was new.

And so Dazai does the next most logical thing, which was to kick him with the edge of his shoe, once, twice, thrice- Alright, something was wrong.

Doing a quick check of his surroundings for any passersby (god forbid anyone from the Port Mafia or the ADA see what he was about to do next), Dazai knelt down next to Chuuya's body, flipping him onto his back.

"Oi Chibi!"

When he was met with no response, Dazai seriously considered leaving Chuuya in the middle of what used to be the battlefield. Surely someone would find him eventually, right?

It was how it always was, how it always has been.

Though.. there was no one in their vicinity at the moment, and it won't hurt to check Chuuya's vitals, to make sure the idiot didn't actually die on him.

Two fingers were swiftly placed under Chuuya's chin, and- Fever. Dazai was fairly sure that he felt fever under his fingers.

There was a steady heartbeat too, so that was good at least.

But a fever? Surely he was imagining it. Yes, Chuuya tended to run a little hot, both in his temperature and in his temper (although most of the time it was directed at Dazai himself), but there was no mistaking the heat that he was radiating.

This time, the pair of bandaged hands reached for Chuuya's shoulders, giving him a couple shakes, which proved successful as he heard the other below him let out a soft groan.

"..D'zai?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Immediately knowing what Dazai was referring to, Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows into a frown. "Idiot, it's none of your concern. Just take me back home."

Dazai opened his mouth to complain, but stopped when he saw Chuuya's eyes slide back shut. Seriously? Seriously. It was not the first time Chuuya had made a similar request, and it would also not be the first time if Dazai just walked off into the distance, leaving him there alone.

Despite that, Dazai always made sure that Chuuya was okay before he abandoned the other. Did this count as 'okay'?

And so,

"You owe me one.." Dazai caved, reaching out to lift Chuuya onto his back. He considered for a second just grabbing Chuuya by his ankles, dragging him home that way. Admittedly, Dazai did almost do that, if not for the time limit they had before someone would eventually arrive at the scene.

So draped over his back it was. Chuuya's apartment wasn't far, he could make it.

Gathering the fallen coat and hat (regrettably, Dazai did indeed resign and picked it up), he disappeared behind the trees.

====================================

The journey back was eerily silent. Given the relationship between the two, it was a surprise. No bickering, no fighting, just the steady but heavy sound of footsteps coming from Dazai.

He could hear, could feel Chuuya breathing behind him, but worry still found its way into his head. Not that that was important or anything.

Dazai whined. "You're really heavy you know.."

(Talk to me, say something snarky back.)

Dazai attempted a weak insult. "Never been this high off the floor before huh? It's a whole new view from way up here."

(Open your eyes, please.)

He felt stupid talking to himself.

==================================

Chuuya's front door. He hasn't been here in a long while, and it definitely was not the first time he came uninvited. But this didn't count, did it? Chuuya had asked him to bring him home.

Key. Just focus on getting the door open.

Lowering himself to the ground, Dazai propped Chuuya's body up against the door. Now, where would Chibi put his key..

When both coat pockets came up empty, Dazai eyed Chuuya's unconscious body. Should he try searching for the keys on him?

Then, he remembered a moment they shared together, one where they had headed to Chuuya's place after a mission years ago, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia.

They had gotten thrown around quite a bit that day, and as fun as it was, Chuuya's key seemed to have been shaken right out of his pocket. Exhausted, they had fallen asleep right by the steps leading up to the door, seemingly forgetting that Chuuya could have blasted through the window if he really wanted to.

Dazai dropped the coat on Chuuya's lap, turning to the pots of plants outside the house. Seriously? He was surprised the plants were even still alive.

As obvious at that spot would have been, Dazai found the key he was looking for under a pot of cacti. He unlocked the door, hauling Chuuya's body in with him.

The living room was a familiar sight. The couch was in the same position, and so was the dining table. It was as if all those years had never passed.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the floor.

So what now? Should he leave? Chuuya hadn't asked him to do anything else, not that he would have complied anyway.

..He would probably be much more comfortable lying on the couch. Yeah, he could do that.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the couch.

So what now? Why wasn't he moving to leave? Chuuya probably didn't want to open his eyes only for Dazai to be the first thing he sees.

..That thought alone almost made him sit down and wait for Chuuya to wake up.

However, a small whine dragged Dazai out of his scheming. When he looked down, there was a pained expression on Chuuya's face. Even in the dimmed lights, Dazai could partially make out the feverish flush on the other's cheeks.

..He could wet a towel for Chuuya. Yeah, he could do that.

And so Dazai stands up, making his way to bathroom. Just being in the room brought back a few memories. All the times that he would sit, propped up against the sink as they tended to each other's wounds after a mission.

Dazai pulls open one of the cupboards below the sink in search for a towel, and that's when he freezes.

All the way to the back of the compartment, there was a small stack of bandages, the same ones that Dazai liked to use. But why? Chuuya rarely got injured, and if he did, like heck he was using those bandages. Knowing him, Chuuya would probably just walk it off.

Maybe he just didn't want to throw away the leftovers. Yeah, that was it.

He found a towel after that. Wetting and wringing it, Dazai stepped back into the living room. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Chuuya's open bedroom door.

A peek inside would never hurt, right?

Making a slight detour, Dazai popped his head into the doorway. Surprisingly (or maybe not), everything looked pretty much the same. The bed was still haphazardly made in a sort of neat, Chuuya way.

A stray hat sat in the center of his desk. Dazai couldn't contain his eye roll.

He approached the table, his eye catching onto a dull shine of metal. It was a tablet tray of pills. He flipped it over. Paracetamol. And it was half empty.

So the fever wasn't a recent thing.

===================================

He hoped the wet towel would help.

Chuuya never fell sick often, and when he did, he was rather augmentative and closed off. To Dazai, that was Chuuya just being Chuuya, so he never treated the other differently in those moments, not that they happened often enough for him to act any other way.

So this was new. It wasn't an unpleasant type of new, just a little awkward. It was never quiet when Chuuya was around, unless they were sleeping, and Dazai was wide awake.

Maybe he should busy himself with cooking something. Cook. For Chuuya.

..What where they? Married? Dazai felt his tongue stick out at the thought. But still, he got up and headed for the kitchen.

Maybe he should try poisoning Chuuya's portion. That would be fun to watch. Unfortunately, he didn't have any vials on him at the moment.

Even better, he could pretend that he did something to the food.

That thought alone gave Dazai the motivation to look through the fridge. In the main compartment, all he found was alcohol. The second eye roll of the day ghosted his face. Chuuya was a lightweight after all.

Moving to the vegetables drawer, he was pleasantly surprised to see it filled. He never took Chuuya as someone who knew how to cook. Dazai himself normally ate at the cafe downstairs with the rest of the agency.

Though.. on the off-chance that someone would cook for the whole office, those meals always felt a little more homey.

Picking a variety of vegetables, Dazai turned towards the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him.

========================================

It was at that moment that Chuuya decided to wake up. He knew he was at home, on his couch? What happened?

Fuck. His head hurt. His limbs hurt. There was something pressing his head down. Lifting a heavy arm, Chuuya reached for the item on his forehead.

A damp cloth?

That idiot Dazai probably put it there. Sleeping gas? It made sense, since he was knocked out for so long..

Or at least it felt long; with how sore his neck was feeling from lying flat on his back. Couldn't the bandaged disaster at least be considerate enough to put a pillow under his head?

..Come to think of it, Dazai did carry him home, which was a far cry from what he normally did to begin with. Whatever, he'd let it slide.

"..snff-"

"..hH'!! hAH'gGnshH-w!! G'nNEsHH!!"

So that's what he would have to deal with for a few days, huh. He had really thought it had been nothing more than a slight fever.

Maybe using Corruption had made it worse.

"..hiH'!! hH- hhH'!! h'ERrshH!"

When he sniffled into the back of his palm, Chuuya found that he could hardly get any air through. This sucked.

A shower might help.

=====================================

In the closed kitchen, Dazai barely heard Chuuya's movements as he reached for a knife. Staring at it, he pondered for a moment if he should just-

No. Chuuya would kill him if the white counter was stained with his blood. It would give the shorty a good scare, but his fun could wait.

While it wasn't his first time chopping vegetables, it certainly had been awhile. Still, the carrrots, potatoes and corn were all sliced up in minutes. He didn't brag about his dexterous fingers for nothing.

And if the knife came too close to his fingers too many times, no it didn't.

Throwing all the ingredients into the simmering pot, Dazai poured in some chicken stock. He didn't know how much was the recommended amount, so half the carton would have to do.

Besides, there was no way he'd even look at the instructions behind. He was already cooking for the chibi, he didn't want to have to read for him too.

Dazai stared at the stove.

..What now?

---

The moment Chuuya stripped off his clothes, he had to grab the edge of the sink as he was hit by a dizzy spell. Fair, he did get up from the couch rather abruptly. He hadn't eaten since the morning either.

He was shivering, despite the buckets of sweat he produced in the recent battle.

Chuuya hated falling sick, hated the weakness and vulnerability that came with it. He was supposed to be the one who people depended on. How could he protect anyone when he could barely even stand straight?

Without his strength there was little use for him.

"..hH'!! H'gKsHHew! heH'DzzchH!!"

And there was that too.. but at least this part of his forming cold proved that he was human. The inability of controlling his sneezes.

In any case, he should get into the shower quickly before his thoughts got the better of him.

Scalding hot water.

==================================

Surely the pot should not be boiling that heavily. Dazai stared at it, wondering how the surface would feel under his fingers should he touch it. The fleeting thought brought a smile to his face.

A rather rough bunch of bubbles almost caused the lid to fly off entirely. He should probably turn the fire down.

A gentle, warm aroma slowly filled the kitchen. Dazai estimated that it would be ready in a couple tens of minutes.

Perfect, he could use that time to-

The kitchen door slides open.

..To check on-

"Chuuya?"

The couch was empty. Did someone break into the house to steal him? Dazai didn't remember locking the door. Chuuya was really compact and pocket-sized too, but who would want to kidnap that feisty thing?

So of course, he deduced that Chuuya probably moved himself somewhere else.

"Chibi?"

Dazai stepped into the hallway, his gaze casting down upon the trail of water leading from the bathroom to is bedroom.

Seriously, did Chuuya not know that towels exist? Someone could slip and fall and die here! Someone like Dazai himself!

Playing with the possibility of such a humorous death, Dazai followed the trail to the room, poking his head into the doorway for the second time that day.

With the ends of his feet barely touching the edge of the bed, Chuuya laid in the center, neck tilted back on the pillow, snoring softly.

It was a familiar sight, Dazai noticed himself staring. The bed was once big enough for the two of them.

Not now, of course, Dazai muses. Even if Chuuya hadn't grown an inch, he sure did. There was no way they'd fit on the mattress together now.

..Not that he wanted to or anything. No, definitely not.

Chuuya's hair was still damp, and there was a strained expression on his sleeping face. Moving by himself, Dazai reached for the neatly folded blanket by the foot of the bed.

=====================================

1hr later:

Chuuya woke with the edge of his blanket pressed under his nose. He didn't remember pulling it up. After he took a shower, his body was too exhausted to do anything but collapse facedown into the pillows

Or.. maybe he had done that. Chuuya lived alone, there was no way someone else had done it instead.

"..hIH'NgtxchhH!! haH'gtcHH-w!" That being said, it was still way too cold even with the blanket covering him.

He rubbed the back of his fist against his nose roughly before tossing around in bed, annoyed.

Everything felt too stuffy, too hot. He was hungry too. Maybe some takeout would be good for today.

Chuuya stretched out a tired hand, groping around for his phone. Finding nothing, he sighed, faintly remembering that his coat was still outside on the floor somewhere.

"..hih'hA-Ngxt!!"

Guess he won't be getting any food today, then. Chuuya prided himself as a strong, capable man, but when it came down to times like these, he was willing to be weak.

As long as he was alone.

=======================================

Dazai looks up towards the bedroom, eyes flickering between the television screen and the hallway.

Despite himself, he was still at Chuuya's apartment, nevermind that an entire hour has passed.

Instead of wandering around, Dazai chooses to set up the gaming station below the television. He and Chuuya used to go on at it for hours against each other.

"Take this!"

"Not so fast, Chuuya. You think you can beat me that easily??"

There was a layer of dust sitting on top of console, showing obvious signs of disuse. His old controller was laid against it next to Chuuya's, the plastic worn down and peeling.

Lost in his daydream, Dazai barely manages to catch the smell of ready-soup coming from the kitchen. Now to get a couple bowls.

Transferring the soup into them should have been an easy task, if Dazai had remembered that heat existed. Well, excuse him for trying to pick up the pot with his bare hands and pouring it into the bowl, it's not like he cooked on a regular basis, or knew that there was a special spoon for such occasions known as the ladle.

Whatever the case, it took all but a few minutes to find a tray, put the bowls on it, and walk out of the kitchen.

==================================

Maybe he should have sucked it up and went to get his phone, Chuuya thinks and he stares at the ceiling. His stomach was screaming at him to fill it up with something, anything.

He stares at the stain next to the lightbulb and scowls. Years ago, the bulb and blown a fuse and needed repairing. But like hell Chuuya was going to put the stepladder on his bed, even if he was too short to reach it otherwise.

Thankfully, Dazai had shown up like a Saint at the time and fixed it for him, not without leaving his mark, of course. Like a damn animal he marked the ceiling with a dusty handprint that Chuuya could never clean off.

His fever must be off the charts if its enough to make him recall anything that had to do with his ex-partner. If Chuuya had had the strength at that moment, he would've slapped himself silly. That being said, he could probably wrap a damp cloth around the end of a long pole and bring it up to the stain to-

"ChUuYA!!"

"oH FUCK!"

Jumping out of his skin high enough that maybe he didn't need that pole after all, Chuuya sits up in his bed. His pillow, the blanket, the chair, his hat, everything glowed red and was ready to be used as a weapon.

"DAZAI, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Aw Chuuyaa~ That's the kind of greeting I get even when I'm trying to do something nice? You're lucky I'm touching this tray, or it might've went up with all the other things and split all my hard work!!"

"Never mind the fucking tray! What are you doing here?"

Dazai opens his mouth, a tone of mockery already ready at the tip of his tongue, yet nothing came out. Chuuya was right, what was he doing here? How would he explain why he was carrying soup to Chuuya in bed without the other thinking he had lost his mind?

Come to think of it, he didn't even know himself why he was doing this.

Chuuya stares at the Dazai in his room. Seriously, what was he thinking? Coming over uninvited like that, especially knowing the state he was in right now. There was no way this was a planned move to take him out at his weakest. As shitty as Dazai was, Chuuya knew at the back of his mind that the other would never harm him intentionally without the confidence that he won't die from it.

So that only left one explanation, one that Chuuya refused to even entertain - that Dazai was actually trying to take care of him. He almost laughs at the thought.

And he might've, if this was another day in which he wasn't hazed in fever. Plus the silence was getting awkward, so Chuuya forced himself to say something.

"..I'm not interested in your answer anyway. So are you coming in or not? You're being an eyesore just standing in the middle of my room."

"A tall eyesore?" Dazai chirped back, his behavior instantly returning to normal once he was in his element, (that being in a state in which he endlessly makes fun of Chuuya).

"Yeah yeah, a tall eyesore that he trying to poison me. Is this the Agency's masterplan after all? Poison?"

"Me?!" Dazai dramatically puts his hand on his forehead. "Poisoning you?? Before I use the poison on myself to end my own miserable life? Oh ChuUya, you should know me better than that!"

"Whatever. Just give it to me." Chuuya rolls his eyes, snatching a bowl over and eyeing it suspiciously. "You went through all the trouble of buying takeout?"

"Of course not! Why would I ever do so much for a slug like you?"

"So then you cooked for me." It was phrased more like a statement than a question, and for the second time that night, Dazai didn't know what to say.

"The uh- the knife. It looked tempting."

"Uh-huh. Bet it sure was difficult to keep all 10 of your fingers intact."

"You know me so well!"

"..Right." With the conversation not going any further, Chuuya picks up the spoon, stirring the liquid gently. It smelt good, and the steam coming from the bowl really helped to loosen up the congestion in his nose.

Which was good, but also bad timing, as Chuuya was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to sneeze. Hitching ever so slightly, he turns to face the wall, using his skill to control the gravity of the mucus such that it wouldn't irritate his nose even more as it threatened to drip out.

The last thing he wanted was to give Dazai something else to make fun of him for.

It was silent for a moment as Chuuya lifts the spoon to his lips.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"I swear I did not poison the soup."

"No- it's not that. The soup.. it tastes.. good."

Dazai stares at Chuuya as if he'd grown an extra head. "..Chibi's lying!"

"I'm not, you idiot. Sigh, why do I even try?"

Before Chuuya could even shake his head in exasperation, a flash of brown jumps his soup.

"What are you doi-!?"

Dazai grabs onto Chuuya's arm, somehow managing to miraculously not spill a drop as he grabs onto the spoon to try a sip.

This is bad. Bells rang in Chuuya's head as he felt his skill get nullified by Dazai's.

"M-hH!!" Move! He wanted to scream, would have, if the tickle in his nose wasn't this extreme.

Well, the suicide maniac asked for it anyway.

"Hh'! HNNgxt! ..hA'DzzchH!!" Chuuya gasps, pressing a wrist tightly against his nose. "hIH' gZZtchH!!"

"Chuuya is so rough with himself!"

"Don't talk like you're not the one who c'hh!-caused this!"

"Really," Dazai started, brushing a bit of his arm that had been in the crossfire of the spray upon his pants. "If anything Chibi's the one who caused this onto himself."

"Hah? The fuck did you say?"

"Now now-" Dazai places his index finger directly between Chuuya's furrowed eyebrows. "I'm not the one who decided to use corruption through a fever and then pass out in front of everyone."

Chuuya clenches his teeth, swatting the other's arm away. "Don't talk like you don't make shitty decisions all the time, suicide-obsessed mackerel."

"Slug."

"Why do you even care anyway?!" the porcelain bowl cracks under his grip. "You never had before so don't act like you do now."

Dazai opened his mouth to answer with a witty remark, but nothing came out. This outburst was different from the rest that Chuuya normally gave him. Insults, he could handle, but this? What was he supposed to say to that?

'Yeah I don't care about you?' 'No I do care about you?' One was a lie and one made him sound like a bottom.

Chuuya just stared at the bowl in his hand, watching as the soup drip, drip, dripped down his forearm. He knows what he said wasn't true, the fact that Dazai stayed was evidence enough.

Fucking fever, always making him say the wrong sh-

"I'm sorry."

The fuck? Chuuya snaps his head upwards, looking at Dazai from between the strands of hair that had fallen over his face. He scanned the other's expression, expecting something akin to a smirk. But there was none.

"I mean- Well! I'll leave Chibi to his tacky hats then." Dazai suddenly says, his voice lively yet strained. He reaches for the stray hat on the table, putting upon Chuuya's head and pulling the brim over his eyes.

Annoyed, Chuuya whips the damn thing off his head, prepared to shove it into Dazai's chest. But by the time he looks back at the other, all that could be seen was the tips of Dazai's coat-tails rounding out of his bedroom door.

"Hey wai-" Tears shot to Chuuya's eyes as he choked on air. With one leg on the floor and the other still nestled under the covers, he bent over coughing violently as his lungs struggled to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

His throat was burning. There was no way he could catch up to Dazai now.

-

After what seemed like forever, Chuuya's lungs finally decided to restart, allowing him to breathe in his first huge breath of air. Through blurry eyes, he barely managed to focus on the mess of beige in front of him.

"Chibi's so small he choked on air molecules?"

"Ah fuck you," Chuuya mumbled. He grabbed the glass of water Dazai held out for him, purposely avoiding eye-contact to prevent the other from noticing his shock and gratitude.

"You're welcome~ aand, you should probably put that down," referring to the bowl of soup that was barely holding itself together.

'Right." Chuuya placed it upon the tray. "Well," this was awkward. Just 2 minutes ago they were at each other's throats, and now they were.. staring at the ground in silence. "..I should, wash these. Plus you probably wrecked the kitchen, so I'll- yeah."

"Chuuya- are you sure you should-" Dazai started, then stopped.

Curse being partners for years, Chuuya knew what he meant even before he started. "It's just a cold, idiot. I'll be fine washing dishes. Stop cari- ahem. You look like shit, go shower or something."

When he got no reply, Chuuya continued. "There's bandages below the sink you can use, and- well. There's a set of clothes your size somewhere in my cupboard."

And this, snaps Dazai out of his silent trance. "So ChuuUya was planning a sleepover behind my back?"

"It was for emergencies, dammit! If you ever needed somewhere safe to stay, or something." Leaving it as that, Chuuya briskly walks out of the room, leaving Dazai to his own thoughts.

-

The bandages, Dazai later notices, were manufactured a mere 2 years ago, right when he had joined the Detective Agency, back when Chuuya had no way of knowing if he was alive or not.

But he still thought about me. Still bought them with a chance that I would use them someday.

"You even got my favourite brand, Chibi."

Staring at the "ON SALE!!" sticker on the back of the box, Dazai breaks into a soft smile.

Maybe, if Chuuya would allow him, he'd stay the night.

-end-

---------------

ugh that ending felt so rushed but honestly i feel like it fits them, since i think that initally, caretaking would be really awkward for them.

Notes: thank you so much for reading, and i hope its alright that i branch out of j/jk since, well, everyones fucking dead (/j) but moreso because i fell in love with characters from other fandoms too <3

[camaelczarka]

Hey there..im the "OOC tag" anon..and I wanted to make sure I clarify and say I have the utmost reverence for writers..I truly do. Like you said, they are doing it for free and I think putting anything out to the masses to be critiqued is brave.

I guess my thing is im always looking for just the slightest connective strand..maybe a personality quirk, a reference to the canon in some way. Just some identifying factor that keeps it connected.

But I also have read enough to notice the trend of some " fanon" pushing too but again, as you said, people are allowed to write what they enjoy and I have enough sense and manners to scroll on by.lol

I don't know..maybe there should be an "inspired by" tag...it would help temper expectations perhaps.

Oh no worries anon, I’m with you 100%. It does sometimes seem like there’s an agenda or a desire to shape how others see the characters in a kind of aggressive way. I mean that’s honestly what 99% of the drama in this fandom seems to come from. To the point that it sometimes seems to deliberately give certain traits from one character to another or totally divorce a character from their (canonical!) actions or behaviors.

But yeah I agree, I kinda think it’s fun to be upfront about having a looser or more “inspired by” take. Like especially when it’s deliberate. But I wonder too if for whatever reason, this IP/adaption doesn’t really invite as much fic as others. I’ve thought about this before, but writing wise, there just isn’t that much to “fix”. There are a lot of shows (Xena is my favorite show of all time so I’m very familiar with this) that just beg for fix it fic. And with iwtv… we’re either not at a point yet where we need that, or the characterizations are tight enough (though obv we’re going to get way more into Lestat and Armand and others) that people just generally enjoy what they’re seeing and don’t feel as much of a need to fix anything. Hence the big wave of post-reunion hurricane fics. Like people just want to see directly after that, and they were all kinda of on a similar theme.

But on the flip side of that, I think you do see more OOC fics because those people maybe do want to change fundamental things about the characters or the story. So I think there’s some wish fulfillment there. And yeah, I don’t blame them. It’s not my preference in this particular fandom simply because I actually really enjoy it as it is. But been there done that elsewhere!

Of course this isn’t across the board either, I’ve read some absolutely insane very in character fics before. And tbh I don’t go out of my way to seek out a lot of fic anymore so my knowledge isnt that extensive. But yeah, I get that frustration for sure

[akielzx]

Hello, May I request a onshot including cuddles with Johann Chu at night? Ty. <3

YESYESY I LVOE JOHANN VERRY MUCH, OUR 'ROBOT' BOYYY also HELP IM SORRY I FORHOT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS

bro i'm so sorry i had this in my drafts i think for a month, i'll then write the other submission later :sob:

maybe i just wanna be yours ！✦

＃；oneshot, johann chu x reader

tags // just tad bit spoiler (the info abt shavee in the chat n all and only that i think, maybe also abt his dad), comfort, slight misunderstanding but it's fine in the end, understandings, johann bby muah muah, also johann might be a bit ooc so bear with me, this is kinda long [keyword: kinda]

johann chu wasn't the one to be expressive of his feelings, and understand his feelings. hence why he felt bemused about [name], they certainly made a huge imprint on him.

yet shavee had also had an impact on him. but [name]'s case was slightly different. even if he had missed an opportunity to have her, it was okay now. he was healing a bit.

when they were chatting and johann had slipped this information to [name] and some other emotional turmoil, he yet puts training first once again.

nonetheless, all was well in the end. it was night and johann thought of something. [name] was doing quite well in their training, but he heard from a little birdy that they weren't quite doing well in draconic history.

maybe stress was getting to them? either way, as their senior, he felt obligated to help them out. it wasn't in a negative light, but he somehow felt like it.

as they were conversing, he then brought up their history course. [name] surprisingly did mention how they were struggling to understand a little and he offered to help them.

they asked where the both of them should go and he bluntly said at his dorm. [name] was confused at first why they wouldn't be doing it at the library.

he simply said it might be a bit troublesome for them as to referring to the girls that swooned over him, even if some girls do have self-control, he still didn't want to risk it.

and he wanted to spend more time with [name] not in training. he wanted to know more about them. miscellaneous things would suffice.

as the day passed, it was finally the time they decided to meet up that johann proposed. he asked [name] to meet him at the basketball court so he could escort them to his dorm.

when they finally came, he started to escort [name]. it was a bit awkward at first, given how the girls they passed by would look at them in envy.

[name] would try and flip them off by either going to scratch their cheek, getting something out of their eyes, or tucking their hair behind their ear using the middle finger.

but johann caught on and said that it doesn't matter and just ignore them for the best. they slightly grumbled, but begrudgingly complied as he is their senior and they didn't want to hear a lecture from a certain someone.

johann sighed, slightly amused but it went unnoticed. as soon as they entered the lionheart's club base, there susie was. she exchanged words with johann until she spotted [name].

she then asked if they were going to join, but johann answered for [name] that they were just looking around and dismissed susie. that made them confused, but thankful either way for their senior for answering for them.

he then led [name] to his dorm, and there they both discussed where they were struggling a bit. they shyly confessed that even tho they could've said that they would just research it, they were thankful for his help.

they can, but it was much more understandable if someone was there teaching it because they could get their possible unanswered questions answered.

johann nodded understanding. it is preferred that most should have a study group so there's a chance someone knows the subject they're studying and can answer simple questions.

as time passed, [name] started to understand more. they scribbled in their notebook while listening to johann. "so.. only the light king, priest- 'inazami' possessed equal power to nidhogg?"

johann nodded, confirming the statement was true, [name] scribbled again and continued, "but she also failed to rebel and renounce his position.. right?"

"yes. you are correct, i must say i am impressed by you..- not only you are quite the fast learner when we train, but also a good listener." [name] scratched their head a bit, "eh.. haha. it's just that i- wait no, you're a good guide and tutor is all.."

'and i like hearing your voice..' [name] felt a bit awkward and looked at the time, it was getting a bit late. they then start to stand up from their comfortable position.

johann was a bit confused at this sudden action, he still wanted to ask some questions. the not-too-personal ones. he couldn't think straight this time and grabbed [name]'s wrist.

"where.. are you going?"

[name]'s eyes widened a bit and looked at him.

"johann?"

his grip on [name] wavered a bit, his action seemingly getting him off-guard. he then loosened his grip and backed away. he pondered about something.

"..i don't know what this feeling is… i feel a sense of euphoria when i see you or… sometimes everything's better when you're here."

"huh?" [name] looked at him dumbfoundedly.

"i'm really glad you're here, but at the same time, i'm not because i'm scared. i'm scared i might lose you too."

"johann senpai? what are you-"

"i hope you know how much you mean to me. i wish you could see in you what i see in you."

[name]'s eyes widen at the sudden statement. they stood in their place shocked. "i… i don't understand you johann.." they ask, their brows furrowing in confusion.

"i don't either. but.."

"i'll hear you out on this. but i don't want it to be too long."

"..why?"

"…"

johann looked at [name] in anticipation, yet they stayed quiet. he asked once again, and [name] suspired.

"because… i don't want to make more assumptions and fall harder."

"why would you fall harder..?-"

"johann senpai, i've had harboured feelings for you. it feels off sometimes. i don't know if- if it's okay given your circumstance and mine."

he looked at [name] expectantly, yet stunned. he didn't expect his junior to also like him. but his brows furrowed. when [name] decided to speak once more, as he had an unanswered question.

"it's not just an infatuation i have for you, it's not just any epitome that i admire. but the way, you are you senpai. i've never loved anyone the way i love you before..''

[name] then took a deep breath before continuing.

"i'd accept your flaws in any way possible, i'd try and understand you better with how you act and maybe i understand.. but i don't. i don't understand how you feel about me. i appreciate you for you-"

"and i do too."

the sudden intervention has [name] stunned. they decided to look at johann, just to see him furrowing his eyebrows. his grasp went back to [name]'s wrist and slightly pulled them closer, but not harshly.

"i like spending time with you. it's nice. i feel calmer when i’m with you. it’s weird. i never thought i could feel like this, but you showed up. now, it’s like i don’t wanna go on knowing i might lose the feeling. and i might end up losing you."

[name]'s hands slightly quivered as his voice wavered. he felt their hands slightly shaking and he held it with the hand he grasped their wrist with.

"..are you okay [name]?.."

[name]'s breath hitches for a bit before taking a deep breath from their mouth and shaking their head, "yeah.. i'm- i'm fine johann."

"no. you aren't fine, did.. did i say something wrong perhaps..?"

johann squeezed their hand gently and rubbed circles on it, this action made [name] tense but relaxed a bit after they snapped out of their trance.

"wha- no!- no, you didn't. i just-"

johann took both of [name]'s hands and held them close to his chest, making the both of them close to each other, but not too close.

"i'm sorry if that caught you off-guard. i just couldn't-"

he was cut off as [name] hugged him and nuzzled their head close. they hummed to themselves and hugged him tighter,

"i like spending time with you too.."

"..then spend the night with me"

"of course."

-

ok bro i know that wasnt really cuddling but man idk :sob: thats all you get please accept it p;ease. im beiggin you

[darlinrogue]

I will die on the hill of wishing we got that full Tanahashi/ Hangman Page feud. 

[loveliii]

hey there! how about a scenario with luxiem + reader where the reader walks in not knowing they're streaming in their shirt? (reader never wore their shirt) and they just die inside because reader's so <33

IS THAT MY SHIRT??

a/n: oh my gosh! my first request!! thank you so much for requesting! also, sorry if shu’s is a little ooc, i don’t watch his streams as often as others. sorry😓 but again, thanks for requesting! i love this concept and i made sure to make it very fluffy. i hope you enjoy!!

⚠️warnings⚠️ kissing, lowercase intended, cussing, idk if there’s anything else, but please tell me if there is!!

WORK IS BELOW THE CUT!!

All: after getting out of a nice warm shower, you go to you and your partners shared bedroom and look through your clothes for some comfy pajamas, but it seems that you only have formal shirts. no way are you wearing those to bed. you decide to take a look at your partners shirts and see that they have a bunch of comfy shirts and decide to wear one of theirs. after you’re done changing, you walk into the kitchen to get some water, and as you’re walking, you hear your partner in their streaming room. you decide that you’ll get your partner some water and make your way to the kitchen. after you make you both waters you walk to the streaming room and open the door quietly as to not alarm the viewers and your partner. you set down the glass next to your partner and they look up at you, giving you a smile. as you smile back, you look at your partner and…

Vox Akuma 

his eyes widen and he starts coughing. 

“sorry kindred, i spilled some water. give me a second to clean it up.” he says as he mutes himself. 

after he’s for sure he’s muted, he gets up and walks over and hugs you. 

“you’re so adorable.”

“whoa vox where is this coming from?” you say

“my shirt! you’re wearing my shirt! and it’s so cute!”

“ohhh haha yeah sorry about that, i had no more comfortable shirts and i saw that you had a ton so-“

he cuts you off with a kiss.

“shhh no need to explain it, just wear my clothes more often, kay?”

“sure vox” you say smiling.

Mysta Rias

“wow” he says. 

you look at him like 🤨”what?”

and he’s like, totally speechless. 

he just stares at you. 

“wow” he says again, muting himself, not even caring that chat is blowing up. 

“what?” you say, laughing a bit. 

“why’re you wearing my shirt?” he says with a smirk. 

“because i look hot in it.” you say sarcastically. 

“hell yeah you do.” he says kissing you. 

Ike Eveland

he mutes himself as soon as he sees you enter the room. 

hey y/n, thanks! he says, referring to the glass of water you brought him. 

“mhm!” you say, smiling

“nice shirt” he says smoothly

“thanks!” you say, forgetting you’re wearing his shirt. you look down and look back up at him like: 😒😑 wow

“you’re so funny” you say sarcastically. 

“thank you so much!😁” he says, smiling from ear to ear. little do you know his stomach is doing flips and his heart is skipping beats because of how precious you look. 

Luca Kaneshiro

this man doesn’t even notice

“thanks😁” he says after muting himself

“of course” you say smiling

he only notices as you’re walking out. 

“hold on”

“hm?” you say

“…pog” he says

“what’s pog” you ask

“you🫦” he says

“i’m leaving, bye” you say walking out, trying not to laugh

“no no wait! what i meant was that you look pog- i mean, cute!” he says, stumbling over his words. 

“it’s okay luca, i know what you meant. thank you.” you say giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“…..pog”

Shu Yamino

😳

that was his exact expression

bro was flabbergasted

just stared at you with that expression which kinda scared you. 

chat was like: ??? why you no talk ???

and then he just snaps out of it and starts stuttering

“uh-i-uhm-hey-*LOUD COUGH*”

“hey hey are you okay?” you say, handing him the glass of water

“yeah yeah i’m fine” he says after taking a sip.

by now chat is BLOWING UPPP with: who is that?? shu has a partner?😏what’s going on???

“gimme one second chat” he says as he mutes himself. 

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME Y/NNNN” he screams, falling to the ground with his hand on his heart. 

“woah shu what’s wrong?! what did i do?! are you okay?!”you say, getting on your knees to get a closer look at him

“yes yes i’m fine don’t worry… BUT WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY SHIRTTT ITS TOO CUTEEEE” 

“oh my gosh you are such a drama queen” you say getting up

“you wound me” shu says frowning

“okay okay i’m sorry” you say, kissing his nose

“it’s okay! kisses make me feel better!” he says happily, knowing that both you and him will be showered with kisses. 

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 164 (redrawn version) Expert Review™️

It’s been a hot minute! I’m in the middle of a heated custody battle with Cain over our 37 kids and Pokémon card collection and that’s kinda been weighing on me a bit so I didn’t have the energy to write these.

Anyways, I did write a review for the first version of 164 but then ONE ran into Murata’s office screaming “ERASE THAT SHIT!!!” so I deleted it and here we are. I hope Murata doesn’t upload another chapter before I post this otherwise I’m gonna have a real fucking shit-my-pants meltdown. Like some real fucking episodic type shit.

I’m gonna get started before I need to call one of my emergency contacts.

Oh dude ooooh dude Garou is so starved for affection and appreciation that getting just a crumb of it was almost enough to make him abandon everything oooooh dude it almost makes me wanna hug him but then I just think about the time he stole my Capital One Platinum Credit Card and those evil thoughts go away.

Um um um something something African proverb: “A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”

Really fucking hamfisting it here, like—Garou’s entire rampage from Silverfang’s dojo since day one has been him screaming “I want to be accepted, I want to be loved” and his jealousy towards the heroes for garnering that acceptance and love… after getting just a tiny bit of what they get, it was almost enough for him to figure out what he really wants. But of course, he’s still angry. So he’ll keep fighting. Keep trying to bring the world into despair, not knowing that it won’t make him feel any better.

I’m sure if he were given time to cool down, he would find that he’s just looking for affection. I’m guessing that’s what they were going for before they SCRAPPED the Saitama sit-down arc. Saitama was probably gonna talk him down, give him what he wants, tell him what he really is, and Garou would slowly crumble back to being human instead of being punched back into one. Or he’d get pissed, flip the table, and a social worker would have to intervene. We’ll never know!

And I mean, I’ve seen some criticism of that before the redraws—people saying it’s too OOC of Saitama to wanna sit down and talk to Garou and I mean… kinda? It’s not like Saitama’s never been selfless before. Sure, he’s not Superman-levels of patience, but he’s been really kind! Giving the credit to the other heroes for defeating DSK, letting that kid keep his cash after the hero costume fashion show contest super bonanza whatever, saving that one dude from suicide with his gay little chopsticks…. I don’t think it was too hard to believe that he’d also want to help Garou.

GO GO GADGET ASS JETS!!!!

Ok I know they’re not coming out of his ass but that would be really funny—AND ALSO…. WHAT’S MURATA’S WHOLE DEAL WITH DRAWING MOTHERFUCKERS TRANSFORMING INTO JETS AND SHIT???? I’m not engineer but that doesn’t seem super realistic (I say as I’m reading a comic book full of superheroes and women who never complain about back pain despite having tits the size of Wyoming).

It was really stupid when Psykorochi did it and it’s a little less stupid now because at least we got the whole mountain-smashing attack or whatever thing (I’m not gonna go back and look at the name because it was probably really gay) so WHATEVER I guess but it doesn’t make a ton of sense okay SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF OR WHATEVER IDK ugh I feel like a greasy nerd complaining at comic-con when I’m really just a greasy nerd complaining in my bedroom.

Speaking about the aforementioned mountain attack (or whatever), Murata really removed the big titty elf woman and my sweet cheese my good time boey Boros 2.0 (AKA Murata’s ripoff of my sweet Xanados), so thats kinda a bummer. But I’m sure they’ll probably crop up later? Maybe? Please? I’m so upset about this LMAO

And “dimensional seal”? I assume that’s to keep “that bastard” in, yes? Perhaps in some sort of space jail? Could they be referring to this thing?

Which, I mean… it’s probably God. It looks like God… it’s really big like God…. and it would make sense that Blast and his Justice League would be really concerned about this seeing as though stopping God from committing fuckery is their whole deal (and also the fact Blast just “happened” to appear once Saitama poked a small peephole into this Thing’s jail cell)… but if that’s God and he’s been imprisoned in someone’s basement this whole time, then who the fuck has been fucking with Homeless Emperor and getting jiggly with it on the moon? Or, is this a sorta “awake and dreaming” situation where the God everyone has been seeing is just a projection by this Thing and he won’t reach his true power™️ until he breaks through the aforementioned “dimensional seal?” I’m super confused dawg! None of this shit was in the Bible!

Also this whole thing seems kinda sacrilegious but I’m not enough of a Christian to care lmao hell yeah I’d love to see Saitama clock this dude. If OPM gets a sequel then he should fight Jesus next.

Like 90% of this shit happened because God has one-sided beef with Saitama and everyone else just keeps getting in the middle of it with their Main Character Syndrome and I think that’s the funniest shit ever.

Lmao God is so fucking pissed at Saitama for breaking the rules (or just his limiter I guess) and becoming too powerful so now he’s brewing up all these fake ass haters in hopes they’ll be able to stop Sai. This is toooooo funny. I love the idea of God as central antagonist to OPM; that’s both hilarious and terrifying at the same time because there’s only one person capable of going up against him. Is that where this is going? Is that gonna be the Climactic End to this series way down the line? Saitama fights God? Because I mean… there is realistically no other being in the universe capable of giving Sai the thrill of a fight anymore. He has to fight God at this point. He’s already at the top of the mountain, the only thing left to do is reach for the heavens.

And I was wondering why God doesn’t just bloop Saitama out of existence or get down there and fight him himself since he hates his dog ass so goddamn much and I suppose that rounds us back to him not being at full power due to his imprisonment in the Dimensional Seal (which is basically just the phantom zone). This is all speculative, by the way. I’m not allowed to talk to Murata anymore.

Anyways, Sage Centipede, Evil Natural Ocean, and possibly even Psykorochi and Homeless Emperor were all sent by God to take out Saitama’s broke ass by proxy and if you don’t think that’s the silliest shit ever then idk what to tell you. I love it though. It makes perfect sense.

Now Garou is one of God’s artificially created Saitama Haters and he looks kinda cool I guess idk. Boy’s got mad hips for a celestial being I’ll tell you what.

OOOOOOUUGGGHHH I HATE GOD’S DOG ASS FOR PLAYING WITH GAROU LIKE THIS!!! BOY IF YOU DONT GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A SEWAGE DRAIN PIPE RIGHT NAAAOOOOWWW!!!!!!

Multiple things to be said about this:

1. By Biblical standards, Garou is now considered a prophet.

2. I am aware this may not be Thee Abrahamic God™️ from the Bible but it’s really funny to think so and I’m gonna keep making jokes about it.

3. By Biblical standards, Garou is now also considered to be heavily concussed and dying from internal bleeding.

4. Even while Garou is Biblically concussed and witnessing A Religious Event, he still wants to beat God’s ass.

5. God ignores Garou wanting to beat his ass, which is hilarious. “I know you’re going through a lot right now so I’m gonna ignore you said that… take my hand and beat that bald dude’s ass for me.”

6. Garou wants so badly for Silverfang to be proud of him that he willfully takes “his” hand in this severe moment of weakness. Reminds me of Tai Lung from Kung Fu Panda (okay, everything about Garou reminds me about my boy TL because their stories are so similar) where, in his final fight against Master Shifu, Tai says “everything I did was to make you proud.” And when Shifu gives him an ounce of adoration, he wavers for a minute. KIND OF LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE WE KNOW…. OOUUUGGHH

7. God is a bitchass motherfucker for exploiting this and he better keep his doors locked tonight.

Edit: food for thought… what’s gonna happen when God takes his power back? I mean, we know Garou’s not gonna die or anything but like… oooooh spookyyyy. Oh shit. What if Garou does die lmao

In conclusion: GARFIELD, ARE YOU /J OR /SRS!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?

In conclusion part 2: still peeved we lost the comedy gold of the Saitama sit-down arc and my legal grounds to sue Murata for stealing my OC (this is a joke please), but I do think overall this works a bit better. The Monster Association Arc has largely been drawn out way too long and I kinda just want it to end but I’m sure a lot of the pacing issues will be ironed out in print. And if they aren’t, fuck it! I’ll violate my probation and fly to Japan to stick ONE’s nose in it (this is also a joke please). Have a good weekend. It’s Pride month, by the way. You’re gay.

[arlakos]

Miraculous Rant

Actually, you know what, while im still mad from the previous post I made, lets go off on a rant. No punches pulled. Lets do this.

The lovesquare is the most terrible ship in this fandom. One girl is a hyper obsessed stalker who tracks her crush with her planner for 3 whole seasons, while the boy couldn’t learn to take a hint and stop flirting for 3 whole seasons until he decided to move on with another girl. Ironically that makes them perfect for eachother, but its in a creepy kind of way, not a loving kind of way.

Adrigami and Lukanette in the S3 Finale were wasted events and never should have occured because they were immediately axed in the first few episodes of the next season. I feel sorry for those that were hoping their ships could be real for at least a short actual while, and it makes me want to curse the writers for their story-boner for the status quo of teases

Despite what I said earlier, none of the girls are good for Adrien. Marinette’s stalkery and a borderline yandere, Kagami’s somewhat controlling and too similar to Adrien help him grow as a person, Chloe is a queen bee beyotch and honestly too much like a sibling to Adrien, and Lila is garbage. Fuck it, have Luka date Adrien and they can play some sweet music together (not like that you pervs, I meant they both play instruments).

Nino needs more love. Not only that, but there needs to be more Adrien/Nino bro moments. If Marinette and Alya can have moments together, why not the bros?

Chloe’s character is a mess, and is neither redeemable, nor notably evil. Her role as a villain in season 1 is very hamfisted, such as in the episodes Mr Pigeon and Kung Food. Not only that, Chloe also lacks any of the qualities that makes a good “bully villain” or rival to Marinette, and her sympathetic moments (which are Written by Sebastien) are mostly overshadowed by the fact that Astruc wants her to be a bully, so it just makes her bipolar and confusing when her character is tugged between two writers.

Chloe should not have joined Hawkmoth in Miracle Queen, see my other post as to why I think so. TLDR, its kinda ooc  for her to go full on 2d villain like Hawkmoth especially after Miraculer, plus Lila was being build up to be the main antagonist of S3

Chloe got kicked from the Team in Miraculer because people know her identity? Fine. Kagami gets to be Ryuko again despite being known to Hawkmoth in Ikari Gozen? Not cool. Ladybug shouldn’t be a hypocrite and be willing to break her own rules just because “Kagami is my friend and Chloe’s not”. Same goes for her breaking the rule with secrect identities with Alya, only for her to go on and on about the rules to Chat when he pries.

Zoe is a bland character who’s only notable trait that she likes Marinette, which automatically makes her worthy of a miraculous after two episodes and no actual development.

Astruc is a petty frick who makes episodes that give the finger to fans of the show that have a different opinion than him. Queen Banana, Miracle Queen, and Reverser are good examples of this (Reverser did Nathaniel dirty).

Master Fu is a shit guardian. Read my post for more.

FRICK THE FEAST EPISODE. Not only did is ruin Fu as character, it ruined all the good theories as to why the order fell, and wasted the idea of a new villain being introduced or even taking over as the main antagonist! Speaking of Feast, despite the sentimonster destroying an order when he wasn’t even big, he still go beat by 2 kids even when he was supersized!

Marinette is not a good Guardian. Her ability to choose heroes does not make her capable, and just because “tradition is stupid” doesnt mean that Marinette shouldn’t be tested like others before her!

Despite the Kwami’s being ancient magical buildings, they seem to act like kids a lot, and that annoys me when in S1 they are supposed to apparently be mentors to their wielders, like how Tikki was before she was mentally de-aged.

Lila is trash and should be removed from the show. The only reasons her lies work is because the writers dumb down every other character in the show and ignore the fact the people have smartphones with google.

The “Miraculous” Ladybug spell should require both Ladybug and Chat Noir to cast, because not only does the power have nothing to do with creation, but it also “destroys” anything created by the akuma, which thematically makes no sense. Also it would place more emphasis on the two heroes being equals and “two halfs of the same coin”

On that note, Ladybug has too many powers. Not only is she the only one who can purify akumas, and can cast a spell that can fix Paris time and time again like its no one’s buisness, but she also now gets a new suit and the ability to nullify Hawkmoth’s akumas. Like COME ON! Give Chat some powers too.

Mayura’s feather’s shouldnt be able to be purified by Ladybug since they have no dark energy, and (thematically speaking) Chat should be given an ability that allows him to “vanquish” the energy in Mayura[’s feathers similar to how Ladybug can purify Hawkmoth’s akumas. At least it would develop a rivalry between Chat and Mayura, and would make Chat necassary against Shadowmoth rather than being replacable with any other hero.

The are too many temporary heroes. They should have just stuck with the 3 heroes from s2 and leave it at that. Sure, new heroes were cool, but the overuse has made the whole hero thing feel less special. It made sense for the first 3 to have them, but now it’s just like Oprah where everyone gets a miraculous. Except Gabe.

Chat Blanc was a stupid reason as to why secret identities cant be revealed, also Chat could have told LB who Hawkmoth once he returned back to normal was and the show would be over.

Hawkmoth should not be Gabriel. Frick the lore about Gabriel’s wife dying and him going evil to get her back, it makes the story feel too much like a star wars/Darth vader reference and leaves Gabriel acting bipolar, flipping from wanting to save his wife and doing this out of necessity to being a power hungry madman wanting to take over the world ( which is said in his canon music video). Having Hawkmoth be his own character means he can be an actual maniac who wants world domination and not just have villanous plot that rely on obtaining magical jewellery (perhaps doing other evil things/taking a more active role), while Gabriel being his own character means he can be a father that has become estranged from his son due to the lose of his S,O, and thus can have a plot about him reuniting with his son (I liked the end seen in Simon says, ok?)

On that same note, I think Mayura shouldn’t have been Nathalie. Considering Hawkmoth’s plans were repetitive as heck for most of the show, when I heard about the Mayura leaks back in Season 2 (when she was called “le Paon”) I was theorising that Mayura would actually being Hawkmoth’s boss, the villain the was responsible for giving him his Miraculous and the one who destroyed the Order of the Miraculous, and would take over as the main villain in season 3 due to Hawkmoth’s failures. However, that turned out not to be the case.

Not only that, but Mayuras power is a copy paste power with some modifications to make it complement Hawkmoth’s power, by basically giving his akuma’s magic pokemon.

Speaking of Hawkmoth’s power, for a miraculous that is supposed to be used for good, how can his power mind control people and make them become evil? More importantly, for a miraculous that is supposedly weaker than the main heroes of the show, having it be able to multiply and posses people to create an army is kinda strong.

Fuck the Maribat ship that the salt fandom came up with. Its trash, it was made to bash most of the Miraculous cast sans Marinette, and anyone thinks it is good are either those same salters or are the same people who think that Rey-lo and the Twilight Saga are masterpieces of romance.

Whew! I needed that vent. Hope you enjoyed it as as much as I did, and Tune in next time on the next episode of:  Arlakos loses his Mind and Rants for 2 pages of writing!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Redditors

Every so often I visit Reddit. Now, generally I curate my Reddit experience, and the only shitlords I see are the ones getting laughed at in the subreddits I follow. It’s a nice buffer to have, honestly: “Yeah, there’s shitlords out there but there are also people like me who will call the shitlords out in no uncertain terms”.

One of the ones that I trip over more often than the average is, “I’m not comfortable with you playing a character who’s not the same gender as you because it’s kinda gay”. (That or, in the case of women who want to play male characters, it’s literally just so they can have NPCs hit on them or ... other vile shit that should get them banned from ever touching a random number generating polyhedral or a sourcebook ever again in their entire lives on pain of castration.) This ... bewilders me. On so many levels. I mean, I personally prefer playing female characters ... but honestly, that’s generally more because women don’t get to be heroes often enough for my liking in a world where “strong female character” means “beats people up in a sexually enticing way”.

But. I mean. I don’t think I’ve ever, ever been in a group where everyone was playing to their gender. Not when I first started playing nearly 20 years ago, not when I started chat-and-forum RP, and sure as hell not now. Two of our guys play female characters (three at one point - we miss you, @noctumsolis), and our dragonborn’s player had to flip a coin to decide what gender he was going to end up playing. Seriously - player-wise, the men outnumber the women (even if we count me). Character wise - very much the other way around.

And no one gives a shit.

I think the one issue we’ve ever had with that, if you can call it that, is the few times when one particular player has a bit of a space-out moment and refers to someone by their player’s gender instead of their character’s, and she course corrects very quickly. And we all have brain moments, so hey.

I mean, people are gonna be the kind of shitlords they’re going to be, but I do end up thinking how much they’d hate my campaign, my homebrew, my entire game world, and point to me as a prime example of “why women shouldn’t be allowed to play D&D”. I mean, vague misgendering aside, this is what they’d be talking about:

Two men playing female characters by choice, without any of the usual stereotyping or sexualisation bullshit

Two queer relationships (which would confuse them when there’s a man and a woman as players for each except as for how even without one being married, at least two being on the asexuality spectrum somewhere, and a whole lot of geographic and age-related stuff, just ... we love each other in a very different way than that)

One bard who may be entirely pansexual but doesn’t flirt all cornball and does not attempt to screw everything that moves just because he’s a pansexual bard in a D&D world (”Hey! I’ve got standards! ...Also I have ... moods. You know; sometimes you feel like having ale, sometimes you feel like having wine, and sometimes you do like Hazel - you pull up to the bar and just go, ‘surprise me’!”)

(Okay I’ll stop channeling Darvin now, sorry @fauxfire76)

Probably two ace characters. Ish. Anyway, and one of them is pursuing a relationship with a character who’s very much not ace, and that’s been interesting. (I love @lindira and @true0neutral so very much)

Badass halfling lesbian couple being one of the party’s most prominent allies

Genderfluid ancient copper dragon who basically is just like, “I can change my species whenever I want to; I can do my gender the same way, no?” Also at least two gender-neutral NPCs and at least one trans NPC (there are more, but there’s only one they actually know about - and that only OOC because I love that NPC and had to talk about him - because I don’t see a need to be the Transition Police and it’s not like it comes up in conversation, y’know?)

An entire nomadic civilisation who roam the frozen wastes of the north in hunting packs that are literally polycules because if you trust them with your life and can travel with them in such close quarters and in such hardship for so long, you must love them in some way so why not have sex with them? It’s just fun with someone you share a bond with, right?

Two civilisations (that one and desert-dwellers) who actively encourage bisexuality at minimum because sex is great and everything but the frozen tundra or the desert wastes are not places where you raise a child unless you’re really prepared for it, and while there’s obviously birth control, it’s never 100% so ways of getting frisky that don’t involve sperm meeting egg are greatly encouraged

Also one character and a character’s mother were sex workers at one point, and no one much bats an eye about it. (Okay, Remi finding out that her mother used to be a brothel babe kinda threw her for a moment, but it weirdly seems to have made her respect her mother more, not less, so good on you, @hyperewok1)

Also we haven’t had real combat in months. Beyond the Combat Lite when I sent them hunting with a frozen-wasteland nomad pack. And no one cares.

I’m sure a lot of people say I’m doing D&D wrong. My party doesn’t seem to think so, though, so that ‘lot of people’ can shove it up their arses. Sideways.

(This post brought to you by the need to distract myself from how much of a hellhole my country of residence is becoming now. I’ll probably rant about that later but I need a break right now.)

[lovecolibri]

I know they had to do a bigger time jump so Liz coming back to Roswell can be more believable, but it just sucks for everyone else. Alex dating another guy for an entire year, after he asked Michael to come home to him and promised him he won't look away, is as stupid as Michael going to Maria at the end of S1. Some people like it because it makes Malex "even" but imo it just hurts their love story more. F*rlex fans from what I've seen are also also unhappy because 99% of the relationship happens off-screen and they're probably only bringing F back for an on-screen break up and some jealous Michael. So all the drama is for nothing.

"Alex dating another guy for an entire year, after he asked Michael to come home to him and promised him he won't look away, is as stupid as Michael going to Maria at the end of S1." YES. This is the "breath of fresh air, Alex needs something easy and fun, Malex is too hard and dark and sad" BS we had to put up with after the season 1 finale and during season 2! And it's kinda hard to remember because season 2 was so bad and Michael was so mean and OOC but Alex was the "villain" in season 1, and we had to hear all about how Michael deserved something soft and nice and Alex wasn't that, and now we get to do it all again, but in reverse AND drug out over alllll of season 2 AND this hellatus. And I am TiredTM. It doesn't make anyone "even", we don't need to flip back to Michael being rejected, abandoned, and pushed away like in season 1 but without the narrativ reason of Alex desperately trying to keep them both safe and dealing with his trauma responses, anf we don't need to see Alex, who suffered a lot of trauma right at the end of the season, ALSO stagnating and weirdly being "light and breezy" out of nowhere and with a complete stranger that he is keeping a MASSIVE secret from (Kate?! Anyone?!) and probably will come out in a very bad way.

Uuuuuugh, that time jump means either EVERYTHING and EVERYONE will have been stagnating for a year(Mr. Jones?! ANYONE?!?!) OR all the character development happened off screen for our characters and we'll be expected to just be fine with missing all of it, or to accept that someone had a personality transplant, or (one of my Big Fears) that Alex and m*ria and m*ria and Michael had some big "come to Jesus" talks and they'll reference a "big fight" but they are all happy and friends again now 🤢🤮

C*rina really screwed everything and everyone over by sending Liz away and I am eternally irritated we are stuck dealing with the fallout

[1zashreena1]

Quarantine- New Ranch Flavor! -5

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess is stranded in NYC with her Murder Panther for the duration of the quarantine. As a high risk patient she has no choice but to isolate as much as possible. Simulated domesticity ensues. Princess texts a running commentary to her bff Lisa.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

No actual smut, nasty ass snack foods, plus size insecurity, unprotected sex, feels are icky, plus size woman+fit man, bad boys with too much money and not enough impulse control, secondary OCs, excessive swearing (???), illegal business dealings… I mean, its DIEGO

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ @symbiont13​ @nicke0115​ @bunnykjm​ @rosee-sensuelle​ @girlpornparadise​ @mandoplease​ @heresathreebee​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ @jetiikad​ @joalsglasses​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ @demoncatstone​ @squidlywiddly87​

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 11:22am

From Princess

Day 1 and I literally have an ice pack on my pussy and

Hold on he’s not wearing pants again gtg

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 9:49am

From Princess

Video chatting with sister when Diego walks past in the background… shirtless.

She put her phone down (my entire screen was just ceiling) and I could hear her crying. Hung up after 10 min

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 10:14pm

From Princess

He sucks ass at Jenga and its adorable

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 11:49am

From Princess

I was provided a to-do list for the day.

It's just his name

~~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 1:32pm

From Princess

We have sorted every liquid in the penthouse into 2 categories:

Potential Lube

Definitely Not Lube

Except we’re arguing about ranch dressing

~~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 2:17pm

From Princess

Update: Ranch went into the Not Lube category because it “smells nasty when it gets warm” This fact was previously unknown to me and I was afraid to ask for more details

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 8:40am

From Princess

Morning announcements include the fact that 8:37 is the earliest he has ever gotten up

I’m worried about losing my job. Diego advises me to apply to Dyson because I “never lose suction”

Am I offended or proud of myself?  It’s not even 9am

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 1:12am

From Princess

This is the most weed I have ever consumed in my life (I know, not a high bar) Why is he hanging upside down off the couch making motorboat noises??

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 1:14am

From Princess

Ahh. He was composing a poem about my tits

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 2:49am

From Princess

The railing up the stairs to the bedroom does not in fact support my weight. Pole dance competition is OFF

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 2:57am

From Princess

You know that thing you do with my bras? Where you put it on like a headband and it makes mickey mouse ears?

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 11:17am

From Princess

Julio required to give 10 min warning prior to arrival so Diego can take off his pants

Yes you read that right

Freak

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 11:19am

From Princess

Yes you do so know who Julio is. Big, round, only wears ivory/eggshell/off white/ThisIsMy 2ndWedding  colored blazers. Jeez Lisa you're not old enough for dementia yet girl

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 12:52pm

From Princess

I have played myself. Just ate an entire cheesesteak while being a cockwarmer

Turns out I’m the freak

Julio present and accounted for

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 9:37am

From Princess

He’s crunching  a bowl of something via spoon. I ask what it is. Crushed cheez-its and mayonnaise. What in the actual fuck this man is a literal monster

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

Edible body paint works on windows. Had to sit on his shoulders but this is the largest ‘FUCK’ I have ever written. Very proud

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 12:22pm

From Princess

Bottom half of the ‘C’ has transferred onto my ass. But 7 orgasms. Pick your battles

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 11:47pm

From Princess

Tried a pickled habanero. He’s still face down in the rug crying with laughter. It’s been 10 min dude come on

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 10:12am

From Princess

Me: Why are you so heavy?

Diego: I keep eating you

Me: High five

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 3:17pm

From Princess

He’s trying to “conduct business” via 3 cellphones. Would offer my tablet but I’m too pretty for prison. Gonna take a nap

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 4:41pm

From Princess

Pants are forbidden in the bedroom. We’re just making the rules up as we go I see

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 9:59am

From Princess

He’s sitting in the corner of the window walls staring dejectedly outside. I hear the tiniest forlorn whisper “THOSE people are outside”

Too cute--must blow---BRB

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 1:32pm

From Princess

Angry texting. Muttering “No I can’t go outside and no you can’t come in here. Bitch…. No no, delete delete delete”

Me:  Where is your sister anyway? LA?

Him: Very Squinty Eyes

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 9:22pm

From Princess

My ass is stuck in the kitchen sink. While he was very helpful getting me in here he is of no assistance getting me out.

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 11:46pm

From Princess

Apparently ‘douchecanoe twatwaffle jerkface’ is the most hilarious insult he has ever heard. My brilliance is unparalleled

~~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 5:51am

From Princess

Me: Hey what’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Him outrageously offended: I’m not answering that!

Him:  ... you first

~~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 7:12pm

From Princess

Is it a legit massage if he has to pause in the middle to jack off?

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:06am

From Princess

Ordered groceries via Amazon Prime drone delivery. Sitting on the rooftop patio wrapped up together in a ginormous blankie waiting.

Does this count as a date?

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 1:13pm

From Princess

Drone arrived. I lost my shit. Coolest thing ever. He’s frantically ordering more stuff because I haven’t looked this ecstatic since the time he rubbed my feet then went down on me for 2 hrs

Hold up change of plans

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

stubble burn on bottom of feet :-/

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 6:44pm

From Princess

We can both fit in the jacuzzi tub. Almost drowned when his phone rang and we both spazzed out

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:10am

From Princess

Today’s formal edict: He will only be referring to himself in the 3rd person. I am required to do as told. Should not be this turned on

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 11:58am

From Princess

Watching him try to answer calls like this is a level of hilarity I could not have predicted

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 1:53pm

From Princess

He gave me a crash course in chem. Still don’t know anything but it was hot as hell

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 2:57pm

From Princess

Despite all evidence to the contrary I’m a Good Girl. Did as I was told. Got rewarded. 13 times

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 5:33pm

From Princess

Unlocked a tiny piece of tragic backstory*™: He’s never been to a zoo   :-(

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 11:24am

From Princess

Julio and Bastian brought 4 pizzas. Currently eating them individually sitting in a giant square in the living room SOCIAL DISTANCING

Like he wasn’t inside me 10 min ago wtf

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 11:25am

From Princess

Yes cute driver Bastian. Btw you are barking up the wrong tree girl. His favorite animal is bears lol

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 12:39pm

From Princess

Garlic butter: lube or no? Round table discussion happening.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 1:19pm

From Princess

I won in favor of No

Me: slams hands down on table

Me: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A YEAST INFECTION???

All men present:   :-[

                             :-[

                             :-[

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 1:32pm

From Princess

Diego: puts garlic butter cup in the empty box and slides the whole mess off table to the floor without breaking eye contact. My sugar daddy is truly a murder panther

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 3:49pm

From Princess

Flipping channels (he only has 5000) when he comes downstairs from the bedroom wearing Ginormous Blankie as cape.

Him: Can we do the thing again?

Me: Gotta be way more specific babe

Him: Flaps blankie like wings and gives me puppy dog eyes

Him: You know. Thing. On the roof. ...please?

Did

Did he just ask me to cuddle???

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 5:58pm

From Princess

Can confirm roof cuddles.  He fell asleep with his face mashed into my neck-shoulder after watching sunset. Every time I move he whimpers and squeezes tighter. I don't know what is happening but it kinda hurts in my chest

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 9:12pm

From Princess

Me: You know those girls you send away when I come up? There's one that sorta begrudgingly likes me?

Him, stuffing a 2nd Oreo into his mouth(there's already a whole 1 in there)

Him: Frahnthessga?

Me: Yeah! Can I fuck her?

….I should worry about my job again pretty sure Murder Panther Sugar Daddy is dead

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 10:48pm

From Princess

We splintered the plexiglass-divider-shower-wall thingy. His solution was to just hold all 215lbs of me up in the air and finish. I have no words

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 4:12am

From Princess

I can hear him on the phone downstairs listing names. I don't know these people. I'm going in the bathroom to run water so I can't hear anything else

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 9:02am

From Princess

I slept thru a breakfast meeting. There's a laptop  and a box of 1 doz Boston cream donuts labeled PRINCESS on the bar counter. He's watching news with Julio + Bastian on the couch. Odd but ok I got fave donuts so whatevs

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 9:17am

From Princess

On 3rd donut when I catch him staring. Can only see from eyes up bc he's peering at me over back of the couch. Have inadvertently activated Horny Murder Panther mode via accidental slutty licking of cream filling. 

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 11:40am

From Princess

Me: I don't like avocado

Diego: bitch what the fuck 

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

He asked what the deal was with white people and meatloaf. I requested clarification on food or music. He's confused it's fucking adorable

BUT NOW I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE GENRE OF CLASSIC ROCK

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 2:14pm

From Princess

I'm making a meatloaf for dinner. Also brownies. TV is still on???

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 4:24pm

From Princess

Found a big round can of guava paste in the back of the fridge. He's spoon feeding it to me while watching me make meatloaf

Diego: I did not realize you were so… domesticated

Me, no brain to mouth filter: Yeah well gettin dicked down 3x a day will do that to a girl

Please send hitman asap 

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 5:10pm

From Princess

He just turned TV off. Local news was listing all major crimes in NYC today. Last story was 6 bodies found inside meat plant freezer, execution style kills with "on-site" equipment. When I whisper Dafuq??  he distractedly mutters 'captive bolt pistol'  

He's texting again

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 5:39pm

From Princess

I kinda wanna come home now

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 7:48pm

From Princess

I have converted another person to meatloaf lover (food not music)

On 3rd brownie when he declares: I am never letting you leave again. Mine now

Look up from rolling my eyes to receive Super Intense I Can See Into Your Soul Diego Stare

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 9:50pm

From Princess

He's looking for a scary movie via voice command on remote. Other hand is on my foot. I can't even see my foot. What is the actual purpose of hands that big?? What is the evolutionary goal to this endgame? ?? Why am I wet just thinking about a    h a n d    ?????

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 12:34am

From Princess

Con: This asshole is delighted to learn that I don't like scary movies

Pro: Hiding my face in his chest means I fucking feel the rumble when he laughs at me. I think I'm developing a heart condition. Hurts again.

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 1:40am

From Princess

He's rubbing his face all over my stomach. I don't like this. Sir why. Please it's literally the least attractive part of me

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 2:11am

From Princess

He likes it…? I don't see. How does. But it's.

No

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 3:47am

From Princess

He's asleep on my stomach after spending 40 min declaring his love for belly

I'm crying and I can't stop. My whole chest hurts. What is this. Is this the most long game prank ever. There's no way he's for real. I'm afraid. Do you think I should try to escape?? Please you know I'm not easily frightened but I just. Please text back I need my BFF

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 7:18am

From Princess

Woke up in bed alone and naked. Gonna grab a shirt and handle this. I can't just ignore it. This is probably a bad idea but I can't just let it go. If you don't hear back from me by noon call my parents. I love you

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:38am

From Princess

Halfway down the stairs 3 dudes I don't know come out of the office, Diego and Julio follow. They take 1 look at me and launch into laughter and some rude fucking spanish. I'm rusty but I know fucking "fat bitch" tyvm. Diego picks this mf up by the throat and throws him into the elevator. Drags the other 2 in and... no one has come back since

Been locked in the bathroom. I'm afraid to hear anything

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 1:48pm

From Princess

Relocated to closet earlier. Reading. I'm 2 chapters in and I don't even remember the title. Gonna take an ativan. Hands are shaking

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 2:27pm

From Princess

You know what? I don't even care. Like as long as it's never directed at me I just don't care.

It's too late I'm in too deep. I don't know if I can even come home after this. I'm not who everyone thinks I am. I don't know who I am. I'm turning the phone off now I'm sorry but I just need everything to stop for a while

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 7:48pm

From Princess

I'm ok, sorry for the dramatics. Woke up still in the closet corner but under Ginormous Blankie and can hear shower running. Decide it's time to put my big girl panties on and march in there. No I did not learn from the last time. Standby

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 9:22pm

From Princess

We're good.

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:49pm

From Princess

Ok. Marched into bathroom, launched into speech: I'm sorry but I did not know anyone was here. You have to leave me a note or something. Please tell me I did not ruin anything

Him, still in shower: Get your ass in here.

It was a literal growl

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:50pm

From Princess

Apparently that guy had been fucking up small time and Diego was waiting for him to fuck up big time. I will never see all 3 of them again (No do not ask)Yes it was frustrating but not mad at me. Ok a little because his sister hired that guy and now he has to explain the dude's ...disappearance. Without mentioning me. No one can know about me I am a "liability"

Um ouch..? I think?? Chest pain again

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:51pm

From Princess

He's been asleep, I'm just staring at the ceiling. Demanded I let him prove that he would never put hands on me that I don't want. I thought he was gonna cry. I did start crying but said yes. Not gentle per se, but definitely ...emotional? Like soft sex. Slow soft sex but with emotions?? I'm lost

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:54pm

From Princess

Please tell me no. Talk me out of this. Tell me I'm fucknuts and I need to just come home and be reasonable and sensible. You know when you stand at a ledge and a little voice tells you Just jump. Do it. Go

Do I want all in? Can I do this? I should not do this. I should not care about him. Especially like this. I just. When I'm not here this is all I think about. No one else makes me feel this way

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:56pm

From Princess

I'm hysterical right? This will go away if I just sleep. I can't stop looking at him. Touching his face, hair. Ever since the Kitchen Blowup (after the first fight??is it a fight if you're not technically in a relationship?) he's been different. Careful?? Like he really listened to me and heard. I can see him trying. Like reining in his knee jerk reactions and stopping to think before he says stuff to me. What am I supposed to do?

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 11:59pm

From Princess

I want to trust him. I want to be spoiled and fucked senseless and all the giggles and private planes and shopping sprees and sleeping in til noon. But what about the other side? Constantly looking over my shoulder? Worrying that he might not come home from whatever the fuck he's out doing? The other actual supermodel hot women??? I'm not naive.

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 12:10am

From Princess

I just need to turn this off. Shut it down. Cut off emotions and just fuck. I can't do this and I can't have him for keeps. So it's time to be realistic. After this shitty quarantine ends I'll take whatever cash he wants to give me and go home. I can move if I have to. It's not hard to change your name these days. This whole nightmare will be the hilarious rumors in my future nursing home

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 4:44am

From Princess

Got up at like 350 for the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed he yanked me backwards to be smashed into/under him. Buried face into my hair and ordered:

Stop

Leaving

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 9:10am

From Princess

Woke up alone. Gathered shirt. Did surveillance from top of stairs. Music blasting. Bastian and Diego are working out. I had to sit down for a while

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 9:40am

From Princess

Finally made it down the stairs. Eating donuts while watching live action porn

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 10:27am

From Princess

Show's over. Diego announces he is going to shower with a wink. I am staying on this barstool with my donuts. I am determined

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 10:38am

From Princess

Sharing donuts with Bastian. He is staring at me

Me: ...wut?

Bastian: You know I haven't driven Franchesca anywhere in 4 months

I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at this half eaten donut but Bastian is gone

Shower still running

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 1:36pm

From Princess

Slut level 7: Shower blowjob

Realized I have to wash my hair now. He demands to do it??

Diego: How much fucking conditioner is this going to take?

Me drooling blissfully: Uhhh... please not that word right now

...I literally heard Horny Murder Panther transition happen.

He did not touch anything but my head. Came via voice command. How the fuck

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 1:39pm

From Princess

Then it was Round 2 still dripping wet in the bed. No idea how he recovered that fast not looking gift horse in the mouth.  Haha   Horse

Also slow soft again? Does this mean something?? I feel like I'm missing some key piece of info. Never had a dude like kiss all over my face and stroke my hair. What is this gentle?? Don't like the whole looking into my eyes thing

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 3:02pm

From Princess

Received an assignment. Was trying to budget for next month (on my new laptop! Whole Microsoft office package!! SPREADSHEETS!!!)

Instructed to help fix what I fucked up…?

It's resumes. He wants me to look at resumes.   Um

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 4:12pm

From Princess

We traded laptops. I picked 3 resumes for 'warehouse labor'  This is fucking surreal

Got my laptop back and… all the internet tabs were closed?? I was paying all my bills dude wtf. His phone rings but before he walks off tells me the title will be mailed to me. ?????

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 4:47pm

From Princess

He's still in the office on the phone. I'm in the closet in shock. He paid my loans. He paid my Loans. He Paid My Fucking Loans OFF

CAR

STUDENT LOANS

$$$$$   30,000  $$$$$

THIRTY GRAND

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 4:52pm

From Princess

No you can't have him if I don't want him!! Fuck you

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 5:32pm

From Princess

Bastian came back, left a big box on the counter, said "This is for you honey" and left again. Diego still in the office.

...should I open it or wait for him to come out??

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 5:36pm

From Princess

Fuck it. I'm opening this shit

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 5:42pm

From Princess

It's a very large Brahmin bag.

Holy fuck its gorgeous 

~~~

Incoming Text

Saturday 5:47pm

From Princess

You know what? You Know What?

IT'S KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0 TIME

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 8:42am

From Princess

I think we're ok? I actually uh, accidentally recorded um… everything-ish. And I might send it to you later. But right now things are kinda wobbly and I just wanna enjoy everything while I can. I'll check back in later. We're going to bed now

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 1:58pm

From Princess

Woke up to 1 gigantic hand stroking down my back. 2nd hand stuffed up my pussy to the knuckle. Villain voice directly into left ear. Memory hazy after that

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 3:01pm

From Princess

Do Oreos in bed at 3pm count as breakfast? My hips hurt

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 6:40pm

From Princess

Ok we all know I'm very much A Freak. Trysexual if you will. Only way to know you don't like it is to try it right? So anal. Never really worked. Great in theory really unpleasant in practice.

Turns out others were trying to insert the wrong appendage. Related: I fucking love beards

e v e r y w h e r e

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:40pm

From Princess

Yes I know you wanna know about KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0, someday I'll tell you about v.1. It's complicated. There are feels. I can't take the vague, wishy washy, up in the air status. So it went kinda like this

Me: You want to "keep" me? Wtf does that even mean?? And how, via purchasing me??? Don't get me wrong, I like being spoiled. I'm not an idiot. But you don't even know me

He looked like I stabbed him. It was horrible

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:42pm

From Princess

So I laid it all out: I lived in my car for a while in my 20s. Escaped an abusive ex after 8 yrs. Survived cancer at 26. Did 2 rounds of trade school just to be scraping by at like $15 an hour. That you just paid off like it was nothing. You try to protect me from you and your life. But you have no idea what I've already survived.

So here's the deal: You wanna keep me?? Then I get to keep you.

But it's everything. If I can't have everything then I don't want anything. And if it can't be ONLY me then I gotta go. I'm not a back up plan or a convenience.

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:50pm

From Princess

At this point I'm scream-crying, gesticulating like I'm hysterical. He's collapsed on the floor at my feet looking like I just killed his dog. Only makes me worse. I'm demanding an answer right fucking now. This is a disaster.

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:54pm

From Princess

He starts yelling about how he can't keep me if I'm dead. This isn't a fucking game and I'm just like Do I look like I'm playing right now?!?

Lisa, he was crying. Just kept repeating "She's right. She's fucking right. That bitch is right."

Head in his hands sobbing.

I couldn't. 

~~

Incoming Text

Sunday 10:59pm

From Princess

So I got down on my knees in front of him and reached for his hands. Just like the first blowup. I was terrified because he's obviously not in control and like I don't know the things he does but I Know. And the PTSD from ex… but I finally got him to look at me and asked him to just Tell Me.

And he did.

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 12:04am

From Princess

If you had told me that night in the club that any of this would happen. That this man was capable of everything these past 10 months have brought. I would've taken you to the hospital myself.

He collapsed on me and was just begging me "Don't go don't go. Please stay. Stay just for now. Please. No one else no one."  I have a lot to consider. Probably gonna be quiet for a few days. I'll text you when things calm down. He's asleep on my chest right now

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 12:10am

From Princess

I mean 10 months...how many weekends have I been up here? 12? 16? And only twice did I reach out first and ask. I have stuff here. You saw the closet section. Every time I arrive there's coke and ketchup in the fridge. My face wash and toothbrush and a huge bottle of gel in the bathroom. Last time here he gave me the safe combo???

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 12:14am

From Princess

YES THE SODA JFC

I mean, I've never seen ...other… in the fridge. I don't think it needs to be refrigerated???

I Don't Know Okay

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 6:40am

From Princess

Woke up around 5 and he was just staring at me from like 2 inches away. He left once he realized I was awake. I didn't follow. He still hasn't come back to bed yet. Should I go find him?

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:38am

From Princess

Found him on the couch. Coffee table covered in vast array of firearms. Did not realize there were so many in this penthouse. Little uncomfortable. But I'm a fast learner with good mechanical skills so now I can do gun stuff. Please don't ask me about it

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:41am

From Princess

Ok yesss. We had the stupid movie cliche moment of big tough guy stands behind damsel to teach some physical skill. Gawd.

...yeah doing it feels better than watching. You happy now???

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

Mood swing. He declared vengeance on behalf of his closet. I have worn too many shirts. This cannot continue. ????? Stay tuned

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 2:59pm

From Princess

This man runs the largest distribution enterprise in the western hemisphere.

Currently stuck in one of my $6 tank tops from Target. 

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 4:17pm

From Princess

I'm out a tank top. And a thong. Go ahead and just think about that

...But I'm still wearing one of his shirts :-D

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 5:48pm

From Princess

Instead of admitting defeat he decided to forcibly remove the shirt from me. Since I have to be difficult, I ran. If this place wasn't soundproof there would be so many police here.

What level of fucked up is it to enjoy screaming No!, while struggling, not less than 3 sec prior to orgasm??

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 5:52pm

From Princess

The scale only goes to 10. You don't gotta be a bitch. Damn

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 8:17pm

From Princess

14 days will be up this Thursday. But they're talking about extending it, really bad here. I'm scared. Gonna try a drink, maybe ativan because I'm starting to freak out.

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 9:57pm

From Princess

Watching the news and I just sorta came unglued.  Diego not really a soft/gentle guy (obvs) but once I got thru a blubber-cry explanation of immuno-compromised and cancer treatment I got full lap cuddles. I want this every time I'm upset. Warm and solid and big hands and soft nuzzles and scratchy velvet cheek kisses. Feel so tiny and safe

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:40pm

From Princess

Think I'm fukced up. Everything feels good. Petting all the things

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:44pm

From Princess

I'm fiiiiine. One drink. Once ativan. Thats it

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:49pm

From Princess

Omgod ill be fine it's good donot call me

~~~

Incoming Text

Monday 11:55pm

From Princess

What are fiddlesticks? Like the worrd not a instrument accessory?why do we say that

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 7:42am

From Princess

Holy shit I slept so good. I looked back thru the texts. Wtf was I doing?? I don't remember any of this

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 8:32am

From Princess

He's giving me that all teeth smile. I'm very suspicious. And surprisingly not horny?? Am I dying?

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 9:46am

From Princess

Have been informed that I was very adorable last night. I'm afraid to learn his definition of adorable

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:12am

From Princess

Omg he has 3 hours of video

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 11:17am

From Princess

I spent 45 min yelling about Pluto planet status being revoked and the kilogram definition being forever altered. He was very invested in the 2nd part. Legit academic discussion

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 11:49am

From Princess

Next part: I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. He started recording like a cooking show. I almost lit my hair on fire.

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 11:57am

From Princess

Oh I see where everything went wrong. I had 1 drink and 1 ativan. Then I finished his drink. Then I drank his replacement. Why tf did he let me do that??

"You were so cute! How could I say no to this face, bonita?"

...I will remember that

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 12:13pm

From Princess

Apparently we exchanged playlists. This is not good

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 12:28pm

From Princess

Omg I revealed the Murder Panther Sugar Daddy title. Oh fuck. Shit shit shit

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 12:42pm

From Princess

I spent 40 min petting him all over while listing everything I liked and why. He is going to be insufferable for forever after this

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 1:22pm

From Princess

Lisa. Lisa. Holy shit. He said we made a porno. I laughed. He fucking narrated an opening to it. I am dying  I am going to die   I am dead

Him, offscreen: Diego and Bicki make a Porno!

Me, onscreen, twerking on the bed in lace bra

Me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ASS AND TITTIES!!!

Diego pops into shot, giggling: Pretty Princess Pussy!!

The whole thing just dissolved into shaky blur and us laughing hysterically

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 1:24pm

From Princess

No I'm not sharing it. What is wrONG WITH YOU??????

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 3:44pm

From Princess

It… did not go the way I thought it would. And apparently he had not watched it either because we were both surprised.

That. Was not sex. Seeing the soft slow with emotions from the outside was pretty damning.

That was lovemaking

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:32pm

From Princess

I'm locked in the bathroom. Everything is fucked.

I just… I just hid my face and said "I want to go home." Like a fucking coward hiding behind my hair, I took off upstairs and now I'm here. It's been a long time. I'm still alone

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:39pm

From Princess

No shit Sherlock, I know I have intimacy issues.

Men don't love me. Sure I'm fun to fuck for a while. But they don't take a poor fat girl home. Come on, you've seen it firsthand. Clearly, since here I still am by myself

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:42pm

From Princess

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't belong here. Guess I'll just ride out the last 2 days then come home

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:45pm

From Princess

I think Julio is here. I can hear their voices but can't make out the words

Oh no his sister is here. They're yelling in Spanish, I can't catch any of it

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:14pm

From Princess

They screamed for a while, then she finally left. Been silent ever since. I don't know if he's still here

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:40pm

From Princess

He's definitely still here. There's a tantrum going on

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 12:32am

From Princess

Fell asleep in the closet corner again. Except when I woke up he was wedged in there with me

Me: … um

Diego: I think I see why you do this

Then he went to sleep on me

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 5:48am

From Princess

Have been talking since 3. Still in the closet.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:10am

From Princess

I'm coming home when this is over. I need some time and space to think. 

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:12am

From Princess

Is that even the right term? Do you 'break up' with a sugar daddy???? 

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:13am

From Princess

NO I WANT TO KEEP HIM

BITCH I WILL STAB YOU

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:16am

From Princess

Gonna shower and go to bed. You mention that last text and I literally will stab you. BFF or not

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 4:40pm

From Princess

Just listened to an hour of descriptions of Mexico.

I am… tempted

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 6:54pm

From Princess

I'm flying home Friday, they just lifted the travel ban here.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 6:59pm

From Princess

No, no one is happy here. We're both clingy disasters today

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:17pm

From Princess

Went downstairs. It's a war zone. We came back upstairs 

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:19am

From Princess

Couldn't sleep so I'm packing. Diego is watching me from the bed with the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes in existence.

Effect kinda ruined because I can see his bare ass

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:22am

From Princess

Why would you ask me that? You know he's an exhibitionist 

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:23am

From Princess

I can't decide if you're the Best or the Worst BFF ever. Gawd

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:25am

From Princess

...IMAGE LOADING…

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:27am

From Princess

Yeah. You see my dilemma now???

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:28am

From Princess

Yes I bite it! What is wrong with you today???

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:43pm

From Princess

He spent entire day attached to me. I..??? What do I do with a clingy cartel boss drug lord?? Its too much

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 8:52am

From Princess

I'm on the plane. He rode here with me. Looked so… broken. Feel like a monster. But I'm scared

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 1:45pm

From Princess

Lisa. LISA. LISA.

I'm home but but he. Omg

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 2:38pm

From Princess

There's a tiny stuffed panther in my bag with a note:  I just want to be with you

My very own Tiny Murder Panther 

[otakween]

07 Ghost Children

So I originally thought this was some kind of sequel to 07 Ghost (kind of like how the Fruits Basket sequel manga focuses on everyone’s kids) but apparently it’s a side story collection that was released before the final volume of 07 Ghost even came out. I think I actually prefer this. Stories about kids are usually pretty disappointing lol. I really dislike how Frau’s nose is drawn on this cover...

Speedster

-First of all, I really appreciate that this manga has furigana. I don’t really understand how they determine which manga gets furigana and which doesn’t. Isn’t this considered a josei series?

-Yaaay more of baby Frau. Is that why this is called “Children”? Cuz it’s focused on childhood? I love character-centric storytelling so any kind of backstory development is a win in my book.

-I guess child labor laws don’t exist in this fantasy world (well, slavery is legal so...) 

-The name Gido makes me uncomfortable because it sounds like the Italian slur “guido.” Also I think Gido looks a liiitle too similar to Frau for them not to be related 

-Magdalene is HOT! Also, I like the name Magdalene. I guess you couldn’t name your kid that because of the biblical implications though...

-I always find it weird when they have a child character mourn one parent but don’t mention the other at all. Like we get a sense that Frau lost his father fairly recently but he apparently either never knew or didn’t care about his mom. I want the full scoop! 

Summer Memories

-To summarize this chapter: all of the bishops are perverts except pure-boy Labrador 

Platonic Cafe

-I feel like I’ve heard the word “Platonic” thrown around randomly in anime a bunch. I guess Japanese people think it sounds cool (or did they title it that to be all “no homo”?) 

-This story was adorable. Didn’t expect to get a Kuroyuri backstory. I feel like they low-key suggested they’re a girl because they were wearing a dress in the flashback? But at the same time they said something about not wanting Haruse to think they were a girl so -shrug-

Begleiter

-I seriously misread “begleiter” every time it shows up. I read it like “Beg-uh-leh-tear” for some reason 

-This chapter seems as though it was done by a different artist. Ayanami’s hair is looking flat af :/ 

-I think it’s just the fluffy coats, but Suzu and Yuki always remind me of these twins from Dogs Bullets and Carnage:

-The Japanese in this is too tricky for me so I switched to this translated version midway: https://07-ghost-children.tumblr.com/

-Honestly, although Japan loves these “jerk with a heart of gold” character types I don’t like the implication that Ayanami is a good boss deep down. Working for him seems stressful ad and no one should have to put up with that 

-Okay, I also don’t like the implication that in order to earn Ayanami’s respect you have to be willing to die for him. This is a toxic work environment >:( 

-I kinda felt like Hyuuga was a little ooc in this chapter, especially when he flipped out over the prisoner escaping. I feel like it would normally take more than that for him to crack...

Always Together

-Another lil omake section. I guess snow makes Teito sad so they try to cheer him up by celebrating all the happy things about snow lol 

Aspiration

-Yaaay some Konatsu backstory. I’ve always liked him. I just find him the most relatable I guess lol 

-I never really noticed Konatsu wasn’t a warsfeil...was that ever brought up? XD;

-Man, if I had a nickel for every anime character that said “Your sword is an extension of you!”...

-It’s kinda funny how Hyuuga’s popping up in all these backstories as a cheerleader of all the younger characters. I feel like he’s pretty versatile. I can see why he’s the subject of a lot of fanfic lol (I’ve never liked his design tho)

Dream Pot

-Wait...where have I seen this bubble wrap joke before? Did they make the same joke in the main series? -deja vu- (It’s either that or I saw it in fanart somewhere lol)

-Bwahaha “my children are dying.” It took me way too long to get that joke (Konatsu spilled hot coffee on Hyuuga’s lap) 

-Apparently money in the 07 universe is called “yuus.” According to the 07 Ghost wiki 1 yuu = 2 yen

One Day I Saw the Sky

-Damn, Mikage is so ride or die. I’m glad we get to see more backstory to justify Teito angsting over him the entire series lol

-Kinda weird to think they have movies in this universe. Then again, I guess the race Mikage and Frau participated in was televised. It just feels weird in a fantasy setting

-Teito totally should have died with all those boulders on top of him. Reminded me of Obito from Naruto 

-I didn’t really realize Teito was doing his slave duties while in school? I thought that all ended before he enrolled?

-Teito’s emo slave child backstory seemed a little over-the-top grimdark. Hard for me to take seriously 

Godfather 

-Awww, I like these little brief looks at quieter moments between the characters. The bonding in this chapter between Teito and Frau felt really genuine (I wish I could hear the Raggs language...)

Aw, that was overall a nice little side volume :’) I wish more mangaka took the time to explore these smaller moments without always worrying about moving the plot forward. Anything that gives an extra bit of character development is also great in my book. I kinda wish I read it mid-series instead of at the end (because the series actually references it) but oh well. Onto the doujinshi!

[talkingismylifewrites]

18 19 and 22 ! love your work and hope you're doing ok!

18. what is a line/scene you’re really proud of? give us the dvd commentary for that scene.

Crouching down, he began to shove the photos back into the box, careful not to bend them or touch the glossy finish. But the moment he picked up the first handful, he stopped, staring in confusion down at his own face squished next to John's. He flipped it over to the next photo, this time just him grinning at the camera. The next, John, looking rather displeased, Roger's hand holding his cheeks tightly. Next. The two of them curled up on a couch, their heads bent together in sleep. Next. John from behind, but in Roger's fur coat. Roger hugging John. Roger and John drunk at a party, winking at the camera over glasses of beer. The two of them eating orange slices, showing off orange rind teeth. John asleep on the bus. Roger attempting to pour tea. John tuning his bass. Roger in John's lap. John laughing while Roger wrapped an arm around his waist. John and Roger. John and Roger. John and Roger.

John and Roger kissing. Roger was half on John, one hand threaded through John's hair, the other tight on his waist. It wasn't a kiss between friends, or even a kiss you'd give as a joke. It was a kiss. One between lovers.

Roger dropped the photos.

In the films, your memory comes back in some dramatic fashion full of tears and pain and a sequence of someone shaking apart while they clutch at their brain, agonized by the rush of memories. The amnesiac panics and flutters, weeping as it all comes back, hitting them over and over like a tsunami of pain and memory.

It was not like that for Roger. For Roger, they returned with a half sigh and the relief of finally coming home. It was like the missing piece that had been gone for so long finally snapped back into place, the key slipped into the lock, his compass finally pointed north. He picked up the photograph and his head broke through the surf, and finally, finally, he could breathe again. Out of the water and onto the shore. Between one second and the next, he felt whole after months and months of feeling empty and broken, searching for everything he had lost.

Roger rocked back onto his heels, collapsing on to the ground in muted shock as it all came back. Everything from their fights to their relationship to every damn dream he’d had and written off as a fantasy. John—his John—not Dominique. All of it, everything he had thought was true was wrong. It was all wrong, all of it. Dominique was wrong. Just being John's friend was wrong. Not loving John was wrong.

"Holy shit," he whispered, crouching down to trace the photo with shaking fingers. Freddie had taken it, in '79. They'd been over at Brian's for dinner and Scrabble, stretching it late into the night. Roger had been complaining about it being late and wanting to go home, but John had been winning and didn't want to forfeit. Roger had crawled into his lap and murmured all the dirty things he was going to do him when they got home. After one particularly filthy suggestion, John had given in and kissed him, licking deep into his mouth just long enough for Freddie to snap the pic, before throwing in his tiles and dragging a smug Roger home.

Because they still lived together. Not as friends, as partners. Boyfriends, lovers, paramours, as John's Kept Man. They were together, had been since January 21, 1978—Roger had missed their anniversary. He'd forgotten it, laid up in bed and sickly and John had never said anything.

"John," Roger murmured, dropping the picture again. "John!"

He had to call John, he had to see him. Scrambling to his feet, he practically flew out of the bedroom—their bedroom—and down the stairs, stumbling as he skipped steps in his haste to get to the phone, to get to John. What would he say? It's me; I remember; I love you; how could I ever forget you?

so i’ve definitely spoken about this being my favorite passage, but i can’t deny that its probably the section i’m most proud of. first of all, it was one of the first scenes ever written. for dyldyl; right off the bat i knew exactly how i wanted the reveal to go (although slightly different in some parts, instead of it being a photo of john and roger kissing, it was going to be a letter roger had written to john that discussed a morning bj in exchange for putting away the laundry). i wanted roger’s initial reaction to the revelation that he’d forgotten to be confusion that melted into sheer joy, and then for it to melt into horror and hurt. 

i also wanted to show that the act of remembering itself is not traumatic, in fact, it’s welcomed and almost as though roger can finally relax. roger remembers and he’s fine, he can breathe again, he’ll find john and be reunited with the man that he loves. 

i also very sneakily reference this particular scene many many times throughout john’s chapters as a kind of juxtaposition of who they are. john spends his nights sitting in the closet staring at their photos and remembering what they once had; so does roger. john also runs down the stairs the same way as roger in his haste to get to him, he skips steps, grabs the banister, spins himself around, he’s leaping down the steps to get to him. 

and, there are some mirrored references to john’s hurt in the same way as roger’s hurt. john’s hurt by the fact that roger has forgotten, roger is hurt by the fact that john remembered. the two of them are two sides of the same coin, and roger regaining his memory puts them both on equal if shaky ground. 

furthermore, the act of hiding the photographs is the kiss of death for both john and roger. for john, tucking away the photographs (which he has admitted are mostly his; john is the keeper of their relationship not just in pictures but in memories as well) is the sign that things are at their lowest, that the relationship he knew and cherished has ended. for roger, the hiding of the photographs is the very same, only for very different reasons. one was done purposefully, the other was done to them. 

i like to think that i managed to get the right sort of mood and expression of emotions right for something like this, and that i did roger’s memories justice. 

19. who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? why?

john is actually really hard for me, which is surprising because i’m literally writing four chapters from his pov that come in at 157k, plus however long chapter seven will be. i think it just takes me a while to get into his mindset? and sometimes i’ll write something that’s too ooc. john is so reserved in the sense that he holds himself really taught, and when he does break its an explosion of emotion and sort of overwhelming. he’s funny and witty and rude and so strong? but he’s also reserved. i tend to write to extremes, and that doesn’t commute with john. if it were roger dealing with john’s amnesia, it would be lots of anger and fury and tears and an overwhelming need to be supported, while john is kinda more ‘i’m going to hold it all right here in my chest until i die please excuse me while i go lick my wounds in private’. so it takes me a while and a couple of rewrites to get that tone exactly perfect. hence why john’s chapters have taken me so much longer (that, and the length). 

i also really struggle with freddie’s motives and voice, which surprises me because i think i’m the most like freddie? (okay, if freddie and roger had a baby and it was tag team raised by crystal and john). i actually tried writing a fic from freddies pov completely and i’m not gonna lie i really struggled with it. i think its because freddie is such an oxymoron of a personality. outward he’s very bright and brash and very social, constantly in your face with who he is and how he behaves, but internally he’s very shy and also reserved. his public image is very different from that of his private, and it can be hard to juggle the two of them. if you make the mistake of making him that brash and loud person when the time calls for his quiet side, you can lose the character in the blink of an eye. in order for me to understand his character and the voice i want for him, i have to try a little harder and write a little slower. 

it’s easy to make freddie just be like ‘darling’ and ‘oh how very dare you!’ and all other sorts of platitudes, but that wasn’t him. roger has said he was very shy and insecure, and that he put on an act, which is easily seen in certain interviews or when he’s been filmed without his knowledge. so finding that balance between devastatingly funny and extroverted freddie with his more introverted side can be hard. especially because the very last thing i’d ever want to do is make him a caricature of who he was. 

the easiest pov for me is roger because i basically just think: is this how a gold retriever raised in a frat house with access to cocaine would behave?? and if the answer is yes then i know it’s roger. if no, then it’s john. if fuck yeah, where’s the booze? it’s crystal. 

22. have you cried while writing a fic?

yes, but only because i was so frustrated over it. never because what i wrote was sad, because if i’m thinking it, i can compartmentalize it. i’ve cried reading fics, tho