#oops i'm rambling

[error-dream-was-found]

"I hate my life (finals)" I sign as I chunk down another gulp of energy drink, preparing to write the exam in 4 and a half hours with exactly 0 hours of sleep and a monster energy drink running through my veins ...

Anyway! Good news for 'monsters don't deserve hugs' readers! If I don't pass out the moment I hit the mattress after the test you can expect an update in a couple hours. Yay!

Bad news for 'smiling masks and golden crowns' readers: the author is still stuck with nothing more than 1 page worth of writing and still has 3 exams to deal with so sadly you might have to wait for a few more weeks. You're not forgotten about though, the update is on my to do list sooner rather than later

[spookyoffduty]

damn great job at 2 point perspective

the second picture reminds me of a roblox obby, what if she had a side side hustle and became a challenge youtuber

"TODAY I'M CROSSING THE INFINITE ULTRA MEGA EASY OBBY"

I love the scenery in ENA so I tried drawing some landscapes

I also love ENA side hustle

[the-sleepy-conductor]

Tumblr is being a pain in the caboose and displays every single account (or blog? whatever you call it) as empty with no posts (including mine) which is really irritating me BUT- guess who got approved for ao3 right before leaving for work 💃🏻

[neigepomme]

cw // NSFW. virginity loss with X-02 / some spoilers for caleb's myth

thinking about the first time with caleb as X-02. buried deep within his memories is this desire to touch you, to experience your warmth, and to find out how you feel wrapped around him — to learn what faces and sounds you make when you eventually fall victim to the overwhelming pleasure.

caleb would take his time, push away all of the thoughts telling him to thrust into you harder and harder in order to satisfy his own wants. instead, he prioritizes you, just like he's always done. he taught you about the warmth of one another, showed you what happiness feels like, and made you feel alive.

he would be the first to teach you what euphoria feels like, and he'd be so sweet — but not too soft. caleb knows what's best for you, but his heart still clenches when he sees you grimace in discomfort at first. your pain receptors may have been dulled by the researchers at OTHAN, but you're still capable of knowing what pain is, and despite your body having experienced numerous wounds in battle, adjusting to caleb's size is still a challenge.

just like the first time when he exchanged energy with you, a wave of cold discomfort washes over you, but his arms embrace your body, keeping you in place while you gasp and clench around him in order to get used to that feeling of fullness. caleb knows what's good for you, and letting you squirm and run away from him isn't a good thing. so he kisses your face softly, starting with your forehead, then your eyes, cheeks, and finally, your lips — the tenderness of it all a stark contrast from the bruising grip he has on your hips as he bottoms out into you.

eventually, the discomfort subsides, and you see your expression reflected in caleb's eyes. your flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, the quiet whimpers and moans falling from your lips. in between pants, you speak softly and wrap your arms around his neck.

"is this.. euphoria?"

your tone and curiosity, carrying hints of longing and hidden desires, act like aphrodisiacs for caleb. in your field of vision, you see drops of sweat trickle down his forehead, and he's mirroring your red cheeks — his dazed expression, full of adoration amplifying the strange tightening sensation you feel in your lower stomach. he just smiles at you before nodding, pressing another delicate kiss to your lips before moving his mouth on your neck, suckling purple bruises near your pulse point.

without your exoskeletons on, you can feel his warmth, and it's like you've uncovered the taste of the forbidden fruit. greedily, your hands shift from his neck to his back, and you try to move your hips in an attempt to meet his thrusts, seeking out more of this warmth, more of this feeling — trying to release the tight coil in your stomach.

"do you feel good?"

it's caleb's turn to ask a question, and in response, all you can do is moan and drag your nails softly down his back, careful not to scratch him too hard. you shake your head yes, and it's so hard to formulate sentences, when all you can think of is caleb. his name repeats like a mantra in your mind before making its way to your lips. you call for him, unaware of what you're even seeking. that is until it clicks for you, spoken through your body like a fact that the universe itself decreed.

you're seeking caleb out.

"wanna feel more warmth, wanna feel you more — wanna be one with you, caleb."

in response, caleb's eyes widen, and he moans, pressing himself against your body more, his hips driving into you harder than before. his restraints slowly die down as he observes your mannerisms when you get closer and closer to your release — mesmerized by the way you clench down on him involuntarily, the way you arch your back to meet his chest. his hand moves down to rub tight circles against your clit, making the volume of your cries for him increase tenfold.

when you inevitably reach your high, all you can do is babble caleb's name repeatedly, as you cup his cheeks, your foreheads pressed together. you can practically feel caleb's heart beating against yours, syncing up as the speed of his thrusts increases. you look down to where the two of you are joined, and the visual stimuli of his cock sliding in and out of you, covered in your slick and his pre-cum sends your mind and body into overdrive, moaning harder and harder as caleb's motions grow more frantic, desperate. eventually, the pace between his thrusts becomes uneven, and you feel his warm release shoot into your womb. his voice rougher yet laced with devotion as he comes, and the weight of his words reach your hazy mind.

"i love you i love you i love you — fuck, i love you so much."

breathing hard, he collapses on top of you, careful not to crush you under his weight. both of your bodies spent, yet feeling so fulfilled. stroking his hair softly, the way he did with you, you repeat his words to him, and although you don't quite understand them, they feel right. he feels right, and you wouldn't trade this unknown feeling for anything in the world.

"i love you, caleb."

🍎 pomme's notes — clang clang clang clang (usb connect disconnect sound x81981789) . erm . Ya !

[snail-noodle]

I need more fics of shadow milk fighting to protect reader... the amount of power a beast cookie holds is nothing like anyone has ever seen

all the beast cookies are powerful, each one of them able to fight off anyone who dares to challenge them. but shadow milk is the strongest out of the five beasts, he was the leader before their fall and still remains as such even today because of this.

I just really like the idea of him being all playful and sassy with his enemies when they try and challenge him. battles between his foes are nothing but games to him. they tend to bring him a moment of entertainment, enjoying the thrills of a good magical duel!

but the minute you get thrown into the fray?

there's no laughter.

no smart quips that shadow milk throws out every now and then.

there's nothing but pure, unadulterated rage at the sight of his beloved being harmed. he practically teleports in front of them, his body acting as a shield as he wastes no time in unleashing dark, powerful magic upon the poor fool who had dared to hurt you.

he makes no loud exclamation upon seeing the enemy defeated. he's quick to return to his lover's side, checking on them to make sure they're not gravely injured.

he's still full of anger, but there's an uncovered amount of concern upon his face. it's... a very rare sight to see from the deceitful jester.

far too rare...

[justanotherdmdammit]

What is madness, really?

(Aka, why and how Madness Procs)

Elden Ring has myriad cosmic horror Outer Gods that have various influences on the world (and I think that rules). The Rot may metamorphize you into something different, the Formless Mother may crave wounds as a side to her love, the Greater Will may just want control (as far as I can tell), and who knows what's up with the Fell God, or the Dragon God, or even the Dark Moon really, but out of all of them, ONLY the Frenzied Flame procs Madness.

At the heart of the Frenzied Flame lies an ideological idea, and a proposed course of action: it is differentiation that causes suffering, thus, to end suffering, one must end differentiation. (So let's melt it all together with fire!)

There is a a very good post floating around the site that discusses cosmic horror madness as Understanding. For a brief moment you, an ant, comprehend how a circuit board works and it is wonderous beyond imagining. You will do anything to return to that understanding (and therein may lie a certain part of the madness)

The Frenzied Flame Idea that differentiation must be eliminated though? Immensely and inherently damaging to the Self and Psyche.

This (imho) is a Madness proc, a cosmic Understanding that causes such catastrophic metaphysical dissonance it actually physically hurts.

That established, let's talk Libra

Hey, the Madness boss isn't really Frenzied Flame themed what gives?

Libra is themed very clearly around balance, and his yellow is more reminiscent of fool's gold than the yellow-orange of our favorite Frenzied Flame.

He is fascinated by balance and equilibrium, offering players deals (most of which seem to suck tbh) before fighting them. His relic drop echoes this and states that transcendence and enlightenment can only be reached if all sides uplift the others. He sought the night as an impartial, all embracing scale.

The problem here is that not all things are balanced, frankly, they shouldn't be and can't be. Not all things (ideas especially) deserve equal weight.

Libra himself occupies a balance of scholar and beast, one ruled by intellect and the other by instinct, and despite his ideals, during the fight he tips his own scales. Interrupt his meditations and you get him going Beast Mode; let him finish and he gets a spell powerup (his intended outcome).

He places more value, more weight on the scholar here, and deep down knows it, after all he's actually weak to Madness. He is trying to accomplish equal consideration between two halves that would see the other undone, and yet both are himself.

I believe this dissonance of self-balance to be the core source of Libra's Madness inducing Understanding that he shares with the player, but we can also return to ideas like the Frenzied Flame's.

Libra is a being who strives to hold all things on his scales, including the Flame which must be given weight alongside ideas like 'hey melting the whole world down into primordial sludge is bad actually'. The fact that both self destruction and self are on the scale? Madness. There can be no balance here. Libra is absolutely fascinating to me.

Meme tldr: While the Frenzied Flame is some sort of ultra-nihilist, Libra is such an enlightened super-centrist that understanding his ideology and/or idea of self procs madness

Uh oh I have thoughts about Libra and Elden Ring + Nightreign's (imo excellent) depiction of cosmic horror madness buckle up babes

[squirreltastrophe]

panel redraws YAY ^_^ trying to figure out how to draw this guy............ some kinda messy sketches below cut

[gingerdusk]

Thoughts on the thunder wizard again.

Genuinely, I find Gale's relationship with Mystra to be fascinating when you consider all its facets. Unhealthy, imbalanced, definitely poisonous, but also very, very intricate with a lot of blurred edges to it. One of those things where you're both like "wow, what the hell, that's horrible" but also "that makes perfect sense for their characters, and while I would NEVER, I know why they would, and why it happened."

You've got a wizard who doesn't know what real love is, who thinks he's finally being shown it by the person he adores most. His greatest fantasy, his most potent joy, his most heartfelt aspirations, and they were all offered to him.

And he wants to see what all she's hiding from him, because of course he does. She's the keeper of all things forbidden to him. The empire of Netheril reached magical heights that will never be touched again, and all that knowledge is beyond her curtain. She loves him, right? Surely, if he proves himself enough, she'll let him grasp that power he so desperately wants.

And not even in the power-hungry sense! All that magic Mystra's locked up was accessible during Mystryl's reign. Think of all the answers to theories about the universe that are back there. Every question of "can this be done, and what would it do" would be answered, if he could just bargain hard enough.

She loves him, right?

Surely, if he proves himself enough...

And then, on the other hand, Mystra. Once Midnight, her human personality has been subsumed by the goddess of magic and her duty to the Weave. She has a responsibility to magic, she IS magic.

Then along comes this mortal boy who knows how to handle her Weave. Who doesn't try to wrestle with and dominate, who sings to it. He handles it with such ease and grace—it's not just that he could be Chosen, but he deserves it. To put her Weave in the hands of someone so intrinsically in tune with it, who understands its potential with a wonder like no other. Few enough can handle the raw power that comes with being Chosen, but this one? This one is perfect.

And he adores you. And you adore him, like one would a beautiful butterfly that's landed on their finger. And he's willing to be devoted to you in all things, not out of transaction like most of your worshipers are, but out of love for you, your craft, your magic. You're so deeply and utterly charmed by him.

And it's not like Mystra hasn't walked this path before.

She gives him what he desires, because what he desires is her. And, in a different way, she desires him. She wants him to be her representation in the world. She indulges his adoration with her own presence, and takes indulgence herself in mortal comforts. He's never satisfied with her answers, but who could blame him? She keeps a whole world away from mortals, because she knows what such unfettered power might bring about (again).

And the wizarding prodigy's ambition is lit (again).

And the height of power is reached for (again).

And she stops him (again, again, again).

She does care for him. She doesn't want to see her little butterfly burn himself, and she doesn't want to be the one to ruin those wings.

But then he's not a butterfly. He's a mortal, wielding a weapon of murder, of her murder, and he's brought it to her doorstep because she told him "no." And he's cut himself on it, he doesn't know what it is, but it's hurt him—and it's only a fraction of the hurt it could do to her. How dare he want her help after threatening her?

(He didn't mean to.)

(He only wanted to help.)

(He only wanted. How human.)

She doesn't help him. If he wants to pursue Karsus' weaponry, it's his responsibility, his hubris, that led him to injuring himself on it. She's furious. She's hurt. She's cold.

(What fools these mortals be.)

But then, there's a greater threat to her. Something that could drown the Material in Karsus' failings. And that little boy, who nicked himself on the sword he lifted, still wants her help.

It's a fair trade, isn't it? She'll forgive him, let him into her domain again, if he accepts his punishment and goes into battle for her. He picked up a sword, it's appropriate that he learns to use it in her name, right?

If he was telling the truth, he wouldn't hesitate. If he really wanted to serve her with the Netherese Orb, he would jump at the opportunity to do so. He would have to give up a few petty things in the process, ("petty," she calls mortality, as if family and home mean nothing, as if friends and love are finite. Because to her, they do mean nothing. Because to her, they are finite.) but it isn’t atonement without sacrifice, is it?

It's the tactical move. She's not above hurting one man to save a nation. It's not even the first time she's done it.

(Dornal Silverhand sends his regards.)

If he loves her, he'd die for her, because she'd let him into her paradise. If he doesn't love her, he won't, and she was justified in removing him from her grace.

He doesn't love her. Not anymore.

Does he hate her enough to try to take his dues?

Ambition has always been man's greatest folly.

[rileymorph]

Blue & Vio duo and Green & Red duo are sooooo good and amazing cuz like

Blue & Vio is unstoppable force (Blue) vs immovable object (Vio), which is like so many good rivals to bffs moments. I think they both mask haaarddd too, just very differently. they actually share a lot of similar insecurities & emotional struggles. So it makes them more empathetic & open towards each other. they argue way more in front of others cuz their masks clash, but when they are alone, they're actually a bit more intimate cuz they can more easily drop those masks

Green & Red is so super good for kinda opposite reasons. they kinda have a positive loop dynamic. they are constantly encouraging and reassuring towards each other, which obv encourages and reassures the other. if Red is down, Green will cheer him up. if Green is frustrated, Red will listen to him vent. they are more comfortable with their own emotions which makes it easier for them to communicate. plus I think they also rlly appreciate each other's warmer demeanors (look who they have to deal with)

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

i was sort of wondering why exactly i've been sympathising with Eva so much, apart from, admittedly, bias- i did start considering that due to that, maybe i'd been internally exaggerating how Wolfgang & Co had been treating her. but i replayed some of Chapter 1, and honestly? now i'm of the opinion that Eva was justified to be afraid of Wolfgang, even if what she did in response was inexcusable.

because it wasn't just that Wolfgang told the others to be wary of Eva (and Damon) which caused them to feel othered. consciously or not, he literally attempted to control their movement on at least two occasions- when he attempted to stop them joining in on the exploration of the pharmacy, and then when he demanded to know where they were when they reached the dining hall last.

in his defence, i don't think Wolfgang was being malicious in doing so, i reckon he did genuinely believe he was protecting the others. but in doing so, for the two members of the group he disagreed with, he actively attempted to further restrict their freedom- in a situation where they're all already trapped!! i'm not surprised that Eva, with frustration, mentioned during the trial how much she'd been watched and suspected- multiple times, if i recall correctly. of course it got to her.

but that probably wasn't even the scariest part for her. it was probably just how easily Wolfgang had taken a leadership role within the group and how willing they were to listen to him without question. only Diana really spoke up against him on one occasion and got him to begrudgingly "allow" Eva and Damon to tag along. i mean, on that note, the fact that Wolfgang even casually commented that he wanted group decisions to be allowed by him, following the minor incident of Desmond taking initiative and checking the room locks, was extremely alarming!! like i mentioned, i don't want to villainise Wolfgang, but it does seem like he has the tendency to be rather controlling, whether or not he realises it. i would be willing to bet that the herd mentality implication was done completely on purpose, considering that Wolfgang's animal motif is a sheep and the writing team have done the symbolism in the game so well.

for all this, i can understand Eva's point of view. i know that, as Wenona had mentioned, there's a chance that Eva didn't actually feel threatened by Wolfgang, but i personally am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. because if she was honest about being on edge, that would be a rather reasonable emotional response, in my opinion.

what else are you to feel when you're at odds with an honoured individual who effortlessly holds the power to turn so many others against you too and potentially put your safety at risk, if not terror?

[thatfriendlyanon]

disclaimer: these options are based on responses i've heard different people give; they do not necessarily reflect my own personal beliefs

*if you feel comfortable doing so, i would love to hear what passages support your opinion!

please do not use this post for debate. i am genuinely curious what different people's opinions on this idea are. please keep this post friendly, informative, and simply a space to listen and share.

i'd appreciate it if you could reblog if you vote (you don't need to share your answers in your tags if you don't want to!), to get a larger sample size. thank you!

[kwillow]

will theo ever be happy

Maybe in another life.

[lilithschosen]

ok i got Inspired :tm: by @ragnarockz' post and had to yes and it.

With Agatha's instinctive hesitance when looking at Rio's body to not come off predatory (thanks Evanora for the internalized homophobia!!) Rio always gives little touches to remind her that it's okay to look, to touch, to enjoy what's hers.

Her eyes are on Rio in public, her arm around her waist, her leg knocking against hers under the table when they're out to eat. She kisses her when she thinks no one is watching, and only when she thinks that.

She rarely gives affection at work, mainly because she has a reputation to uphold the resident hard ass (and pain in the ass for Chief Jones) persona she's set into place ages ago. But if Rio makes a move on a case that was previously at a standstill, she'll give her girlfriend a quick peck on the lips and a subtle pat on the ass as a "good job, babe!"

Agatha's breath always catches whenever Rio slowly unbuttons her shirt not because of it. Rio knows after watching Agatha's eyes struggle to stay on her face and not follow her hands down with each button she undoes.

Rio reaches out, grabbing Agatha's hands to finish the last few buttons, and shrugs the shirt off. Agatha still fights herself but loses, finally letting her eyes wander down Rio's face, down her neck, to her chest. She licks her lips, breathing shakily.

"Go ahead, baby," Rio smirks, eternally proud of herself for having Agatha flustered, "Touch me."

And so she does. Gently, fingertips dragging down her skin, cupping her breasts over her bra before removing the piece of clothing entirely. She'll pepper every inch of visible skin in kisses as her arms wrap around Rio's waist to hold her close.

Agatha Harkness will always worship Rio Vidal, without fail (and a little hesitation at first)

In the same vein, Rio can't keep her hands off of Agatha. Lingering touches, her hand against the small of Agatha's back as she walks around her in the house or kissing cheek before they get out of bed in the morning. Rio wants to be touching Agatha, around her, all of it constantly.

When they shower together, Agatha has her back to Rio to help wash her since she'd ask otherwise. She knows her skin is addictive for her girlfriend. She also knows that those hands tend to wander, getting lost between her legs and causing their morning to drag on longer than previously expected.

Rio also tries to get Agatha to kiss her at work more often than not. When they're in the break room, Rio feeding the vending machine a dollar and pressing whatever buttons that coincide with the snack of her choice for the day, then immediately turning on her heels to pucker her lips only for Agatha to roll her eyes and leave her to collect her bounty.

She doesn't overstep with it, knowing the limits and how Agatha feels about general displays of affection. But she's working on it, coaxing Agatha out of that shell. They'll hold hands walking down the street, Agatha brings Rio flowers randomly when Rio's working and she isn't.

She's proud to be Agatha's girlfriend, and Agatha is proud to be Rio's

[bonetrousledbones]

so far the craziest thing about deltarune to me is the fact that when i play undertale i always consistently love all of the characters right, like i know every line but they never get old and i like befriending them so much that i haven't done anything other than true pacifist in nearly ten years

and then i play deltarune and interact with those same characters twice maximum before i start gettin fed up

[mbirnsings-71]

"You were born inside your head / And that is where you'll be when you are dead / You are just a boy, you are no man and / Nobody you know will understand" - Things to Do by Alex G

[rexcanttietheirshoesright]

You guys I drew Mychael into a painting I did earlier

BUT THEN I PUT IT THROUGH A PIXEL FILTER

DOES THIS LOOK SICK OR AM I CRAZY