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kanmom51 · 2 years ago

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JK Radio Stationhead 1 October 2023

And a little more as well...

cr./and huge thanks to the translation accounts I used in this post.

I think this was the most interesting Stationhead we've had so far with JK. JK was chatty, informative (well, to an extent), I would maybe even say combative? Maybe that's a little too strong a term to use, but I do think he came to show that he is unbothered by the shitstorm going on and clap back just a little bit. And he knows about that shitstorm, make no mistake.

I see Jikookers falling for this hateful campaign against JK. Not only are they perpetuating it, but they are also adding to it, embellishing it, and spreading it.

By now JK has had several girlfriends named, he's a baby daddy (she was pregnant in Feb, so...), he's going on double dates with his mate Tae, trucking (censorship issues had me change that - you know exactly what it's meant to be) her with the windows and curtains open for all to see (after telling us he's aware he's being followed around including home). All this he managed to get done before he sat down and did hours on end of JM dedicated lives, calling him his fan, flirting with him online while in bed for all of us to see, and going on a 4 day private trip with him.

A very wise blogger once said: (@ourwinterspring, hope you don't mind me quoting your wise words):

Rumors are created by haters accepted by fools and spread by idiots

That. Just that!!!

People that called themselves Jikook supporters (I'm not talking about shippers, they are in this for their own self gratification, while supporters are supposed to be looking out for JM and JK and supporting them both individually and their relationship, which btw is still considered tabooed in their own country), they are rushing to conclusions, and aiding in the spread of these lies.

K-army laughed them off.

Chinese army are fighting them off.

And I army are just spreading them like wildfire.

Why this long winded introduction?

Because Jikook are in an impossible position really. They are a closeted queer couple in a country and industry that would not accept their relationship if it would become publicly known. As long as the door is open for deniability they are ok. Taking that step through that door and out of the closet, that is one hell of a step with many consequences, to them and to those who surround them.

JK is about to release his 1st solo album, and he's in the midst of trying to infiltrate the American and Western music market. To do so they are selling a very certain image, and being queer is not part of it.

They are also both before enlistment to the military.

Them going: "hey bitches, the stories are untrue, we're in a long term loving relationship", is not a realistic expectation. And no matter what JK would say otherwise, the rumours they are just gonna keep coming, cause this train, this coordinated smear attack, it's not finished. And if and when that would be done, we'd be back to Yubi and Rose and Lisa (oh, oops, she's with Freddie), and Miju. Ehm, she's married. But wait, since when has that stopped anyone, eh? It didn't stop the Nicole stories, which, btw, are still rampant, including among some Jikookers (?) - what the actual truck is wrong with people???

So, no Jikook announcement.

A company one? Kind of feel that one won't come either. Again, JK 3D promotions and upcoming album in mind. Not to mention, and this my friends is me being super cynical right now, other than the harassment claims, the company doesn't have a problem with these rumours, given it solidifies his bad boy, truckboy, heterosexual image they are selling right now. There, I said it.

But Jikook, JM and JK, they aren't happy with this. They can't be happy with this. As much as this image is a price to pay, on the way JK is sending us constant hints that it ain't all that you see. That he's a complex being. That he might appear one way in 3D, but another in Seven and another in his CK and Vogue photoshoots (the latter with him being the artistic designer and bringing along some outfits and/or accessories that he wanted himself), not to mention someone else all together in his long lives with us. He tells us this is him. Who we see. But those that only see that image in 3D are just not looking at the full picture he's painting.

This is him:

But also this:

And this:

They are all pieces of the puzzle that is one Mr. Jeon Jungkook. And I'm sure there are pieces we have yet to see.

It's funny that JK is singing 3D (basically having phone sex and wishing for more) but at the same time he's telling us "this is me in 3D". Not one dimensional. A complex grown up human being.

Btw, I kind of feel like I need to link this post again, seeing that so many are still thinking that having muscles, tattoos and piercings makes you heterosexual or at least bi. Cause, I mean, you must be sexually attracted to women if you are super masculine, and get tattoos or pierce your body, right?

Oh boy, this is a long one. I haven't even started with Stationhead, lol.

So, JK is trying to show us he's a complex human being. This is him. Not one MV or song he chose to sing. The full picture. The shoots he chooses, the concepts for his songs (do I have to remind of his Seven concept shoot?), his lives, what he shared with us (as in past tense cause Idk how much more he will with everything that's going on).

And in the midst of this, knowing you are in a committed relationship, having your integrity, your good name smeared, being with the person you love and knowing that the world not only doesn't see how dear you are to each other but also thinks you're being sexually intimate with multiple others. Not to mention, having to deal at this young age with the knowledge that there are people out there that hate you enough to want to hurt you on such a level, to ruin your good name, your career. It can be paralyzing. And they put on a brave face. JK says he knows people hate him and good for them, he'll continue to live his life. But it's hard, it's hurtful, and these two, they are the kindest sweetest people out there, they don't deserve this.

OMG, when will I finally get to the point?

I think about now would be a good time.

So, no speaking up. No announcement. But at the same time they don't want to just sit there and take it.

Phew, here we go?

JK came today, 1st October (or more so 1st Jimtober) to Stationhead after his 3D dance practice video landed (same day).

And by some strange coincidence (no coincidence at all), JM released his second #ThisisJimin dance clip to Dominic Fike's Phone Numbers with these lyrics, coincidentally:

Woah, Kenny! Why you not here with me? Can you break bread with me? Why you switch phone numbers like clothes? Why you can't answer me? (Yeah) 'Cause I got more coming

(Not a love song)

Using a prop. Wait for it...

Oh, and the outfits that happen to be kind of similar and sticking to the black and white.

I feel like I'm repeating myself here, but you know, sometimes you need to in order to hammer the message in.

And JK, well he also posted a selfie on Weverse (while on Stationhead).

1st Jimtober with his fave Jack Skellington.

So yeah. The little things. Those little codes that say "we are here, we are ok, all is well, this will definitely not break us."

Yes. I get all of that from those little things, lol.

But, it didn't end with that.

And here we are.

Finally at the precipice.

Well, not precipice per say. That's being a little dramatic. But I am finally going to get to JK on Stationhead, as in what we got from him during the show.

I guess with this long introduction I should start with the Jikook related, right?

Let's start with JK repeating the endearment JM used in his IG post for 3D.

And then JK basically confirmed that he and JM were together when drawing the cloud whale drawing JM shared with us on IG telling us JK drew it.

Making sure we know that they drew the whale together.

You don't have to understand Korean to hear the amusement in his voice. We don't know when this was taken (CT or perhaps more recently... although my initial thought was CT I'm kind of leaning to it being more recent, like very recent), but we know they were together. We thought so and now JK confirmed it.

Enjoyed confirming it.

He also brought up JM's birthday being this month. Yes, he could be reacting to comments, but we've discussed this multiple times in the past. You know. Choices. And in this case, his choice which ones to answer, right?

Once again, it's all in the way it's all being said. The "I know something you don't" tone of voice. The "a-ha, yeah, Uhah" while supposedly looking up if he's doing something on the day. The "I'm going to be busy...I see I have a schedule..?" ending with a question mark? As in "do I really?" Lol.

The way he was talking, the man has something planned. I really don't want to have any expectations here. But man, he's making it hard for me not to have them. Lmao.

And another JM related comment he chooses to answer:

This time you don't get the sassiness or teasing in his voice like we did with the JM birthday answer. Idk why they aren't doing each other's challenges. It's for them to know. We know JK was showing/teaching JM Seven moves. We know that JK knew SMF pt. 2 moves. I guess it's something they just decided between them. Or perhaps schedules didn't and aren't aligning. Who knows. And who knows, we might just get a surprise. Next phone song JM does could be 3D, lol.

Ok, so he saw his parents. He goes on to also talk about his mother's cooking (oh, that man is so in trouble with his mom calling her cooking bland, lmao). Kind of gathering from it all that JK was in Busan for the holiday. Could that photo JM shared, you know, the one JK made sure we know they both drew the whale on, have been taken when they were both down in Busan for the holiday? I wonder...

This here is, I feel, JK clapping back a little at the haters. But also telling us, once again, that he's an adult and does adult things. Knows how to work hard when needed, and when to "play hard", as in relax and have a good time, when allowed.

This one isn't about Jikook (well in a sense maybe it is, as it's about shooting down TKKs hopes and prayers, lol). JK clarifying Tae's story about him recording a song at JK's place and JK directing him.

So, no pre-planning, JK's reply "and I was like "suddenly"? And also letting us know Tae didn't record the final at his place. Burn, lol. Also answers (again - like in the Inkigayo live) a question about karaoke with Tae. More or less same answer. More or less "that's a no"?

And this I already shared with you guys:

This is basically JK. Again, when he says I'm showing you my true self. It's not the image of the hunky guy with the sexy expressions doing that sexy choreography with the female dancers hands on him. Well not only. It's the shy introvert that feels awkward when these women are touching him. And just to be clear here. This isn't me saying anything about his sexuality. But it's definitley me saying he is not this careless truckboy people are so badly wanting him to be. Being an adult and having sex (let's call it rex from now on), a lot of it, enjoying it, doesn't make it the core of who you are as a person, doesn't mean you are having rex with multiple people for the only pursual of physical gratification nor does it mean that the rex you are having is necessarily with a female even if you are singing a song saying girl in it, to which the lyrics were not written by yourself. JK also sang a song about having rex 7 days a week, but with that one person, in his words, wanting to be all the time with "the love of my life". See, that was a little slip of the tongue by him, lol. But very revealing. Thank you ever so much for that one JK.

Do you understand the difference here?

One being lyrics to a song he's performing, him being a singer. Lyrics he didn't write himself.

The other is his explanation, his take on the meaning of the song he is singing (also not written by him). Inserting that little very personal touch.

Do we get it? JK isn't the lyrics, the lyrics aren't JK.

Oh, and by the by, JK's lyrics aren't referencing multiple partners. If we are being all about "but he's singing it, so it must be who he is". The multiple partners, the truckboy image, that's Jack Harlow's bit. JK is still talking to one person.

But again, I stress, the song doesn't represent JK as a person or his character. And those that are making that leap are simply...

Moving on.

JK's asked which he prefers more? 7 or 3D. Very diplomatically makes sure we know that at the time he liked Seven and now it's leaning more towards 3D. Well duh, this is him promoting it. Then he combines the two to 7D.

"What's your favourite part of 3D?" Him asking the listeners.

JK talked about eating chicken, being busy practicing all the time (I am curious to know what for), finishing up and going home to workout, shower and sleep.

He also talked about GCF and his appreciation for Army.

Asked about music or variety show, and the answer is probably not, it's hard for him (this is where the shy introvert part of him wins, I guess). It's easier to be alone on a stage in front of thousands performing than have to interact one on one with people that you aren't as familiar or comfortable with. On stage you go after much practice. Small talk and interviews and socializing means having to be focused (neuro divergent prince here) and it's so so hard for a shy introvert to deal with. Key word ALONE.

Although he's asked about further plans he's adamant not to give spoilers (well, more so afraid he'll be told off by the company, lol).

He misses the old days I guess. Of Kakao Fancafe. The intimacy of it. The safety of it perhaps.

He also wants to cook for army.

I feel like him telling us he is pulling back on the lives, allowing for the mystery, well he's also missing those lives. He needs that connection with his fans. Maybe even more so with this path he's going down, disconnecting from the idol and becoming the mega star. He needs that emotional connection with his fans. But at the same time, a more intimate setting, where he can really connect with them, is something he prefers.

And again, the connection with Army.

About the members:

F u c k , this is getting way too long. I can't talk about it all. I will add a couple more things and leave it at that. My apologies.

So, this is another clap back from JK:

Oh, and this was curious.

Ooh, one last thing.

He finally tells us where he got the scar on his shoulder from. Well, not too glamorous, lol. He slipped and fell while running in the car park shooting the CK ad. Hurt his finger as well, but that has healed already by now.

JK ending with:

Funny how the little things just added up. All very little perhaps inconsequential actions as of themselves, but add them together and you get a message.

One you will see if only you wish to.

Oh, and end comment. This is utterly disgusting and childish and I'm at a total loss for words here.

We have 2 more of these coming, if I'm not mistaken. Will be interesting to see what we get next.

#Jungkook #JK #JK 3D #JK stationhead #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jimin #JM

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monowritestoomuch · 6 months ago

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My Notes While Listening to Chapter 1 of Lost & Found

So I only found Charlie from BitterSweet so far and that's what I've been using to write Charlie's character. but in light of the newst hype with him and Auron, now I'm listening to the audios. This is all of chapter 1's notes that I wrote. Read along as I lose my shit.

NOT THE SLOGANS BRO--

HE'S A CUTIE OML

I see he had to sign un NDA, hmmmmm, and so did we, hmmmmmm--AURON YOU MOTHERF--

OH MY GOD HE'S SUCH A WET CAT

WE PUT A LOVE NOTE IN THE CD?! OH MY GOD THE FUCKING HEARTBREAK BRO

MOMMY AND DADDY ISSUES BRO BUT MAKE THEM SADBOI ANGST

HE WANTS US TO RUN OUR HANDS THRU HIS HAIR BRO DUDE THAT IS THE MOST ROMANTIC SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD

HE DEALT DRUGS?!

BRO WAS THE DRUG DEALER HOLY FUCK HE IS WALTER WHITE

it can't get worse, can it?

Oh no he, he was hopeless to life, oh. . .he didn't care about death. . .oh

He almost did. . .oh. Someone saved him. At least he made friends?

Dude omg

He got out and he's free? Dude has the mental health of a fricking side character in the mf mcu

guilt and shame and fear, dude im gonna cry,

He's not okay guys.

"I just have to keep going," what if I cried?

"And then you showed up," WHAT IF I CRY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

Bro said that it wasn't a good story. Bro. Bro. You're traumatized honey. You need therapy honey.

HE'S A TRAUMATIZED CUTIE

PLEASE JUST KISS ALREADY

DUDE WE DID SLIP YOU A LOVE NOTE AND I'D DO IT AGAIN--

PLEASE JUST KISS ALREADY WJKFNFRSUKDNJCFUD

I'D TELL YOU BY KISSING YOU BRO, NOT HARD

PLEASE KISS

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

HOLY SHIT UHHHHHHH WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN WITH US AND HIM BRO WHAT

"I dare you to, show me how you feel. . ." WHAT IF I FUCKING SCREAMED

THE KISS HAPPENED YALL.

(he's a fucking bottom omg)

damn bros speechless

MORE KISSES?! YUURI MY GOOD SIR YOU'RE FEEDING US TONIGHT--

WE ASKED IF HE WAS OKAY. WE STAN PPL WHO CHECK IN ON THEIR PARTNERS.

HE'S TOUCH STARVED OH HONEY--

MORE KISSES

"just a natural reaction" and I oop--

more kisses

"excited around you--" I CHOKED--

NO DON'T GO TO BED--NOT WITHOUT HIM

HELL YEAH HE'S GONNA CUDDLE

yes honey, you're nervous. it's okay

COMMUNICATION IS THE FUCKING KEY

Side note: I had to pause this absolute masterpiece because I actually had to screech.

Oh he's self deprecating, oh no baby. . .

"Maybe I'll figure it out if you kiss me again," WHAT IF I ENDED UP ON A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR--

He called us hot, guys. Why can't real men be like this?

more smooches. okay. okay.

HE MISSED US. MY FUCKING HEART <3

WHY CAN'T REAL MEN BE LIKE THIS?!

Ticklish you say. . .

mono.exe has stopped computing

sir.

"None of it has changed. You still make my heart race." Can a man say this to me?

"Restless sleeper." Restless sleeper you say?

His parents totally shipped us.

"Gas station rhino pills." PFT--HDJFEWHJDSFKJESDJFJWE

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH NO MORE SELF DEPRECTATION

YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS

EXPECATATIONS MY ASS. YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DISSAPOINT ME. YOU'RE A FICTIONAL MAN. Honestly you can't do that, it's impossible.

HE IS A FUCKING BOTTOM I WAS RIGHT LMAO

I would kiss you a million times my boy

mono.exe has stopped computing x2

THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE WHO WANT YOU BRO. HAVE YOU MET THE WET CAT LOVERS?????

"How do I say this without sounding like a thot?" my friend, you are one

mono.exe has stopped computing x3

IM SO RED IN THE FACE RN ACTUALLY IM A FUCKING TOMATO

I WOULD KICK HIS ASS IN A FIGHT THAT SCRAWNY MF NEVER STOOD NO CHANCE

WDYM UR NOT SMOOTH BRO

HE'S THE SILLIEST LITTLE GUY ISTG

HE SMOKES??????

HIS BOSS HAS A FUCKING WEED GARDEN I FUCKING CAN'T ANYMORE

little mister rat boy

he's so cute and for what.

BROS SO FUCKING HIGH RN

mono.exe had stopped computing x4

GUY YOU KNEW????? OMG IT'S FRICKING ALPHONSE ISN'T IT. AND SETH.

MORE KISSES

my fbi agent is going to be so concerned when i looked up "how to safely bleach one's ears?"

End Notes: I'm going to listen to chapter 2. Holy fuck. Please expect some Charlie content in January and February. Now I'm going to go bake. See you on the 25th for a special surprise!

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice listener #charlie yuurivoice #yuurivoice lost and found #yuurivoice auron #mmmmm what if i lose my mind #where are the charlie girlies at?#ik you're around here somewhere #guess who's going to be writing a hellton of charlie content now #oh well

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asclexe · 1 year ago

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birthmarks is actually hilarious

watching s5 ep4 of house as we speak and screaming it’s so funny

[spoilers !!]

house is extra unhinged in this one, bro’s father died and he was damn ready to just continue the differential. cuddy girlbossing and sedating him + wilson AGREEING to drive him? wilson we know what you are.

yay gay people road trip !! house was also damn ready to piss in wilson’s car, no hesitation. but he respects wilson enough not and wait for the rest stop. and then we get chaos house and THEIR BACKSTORY??? they met in jail??? hello? that’s so silly of them

side note i love kutner and the patient’s bond, even if it’s barely highlighted it’s quite sweet.

help wilson is at the funeral too, what are you doing there you blorbo? and them talking about house’s daddy issues during the service, i’m dead (like john house)

HA I FORGOT HOUSE’S FIRST NAME IS GREGORY. NOT THE SILLY FNAF ORPHAN 💀💀

oop now we’re getting his eulogy, i love him shitting on his dad at his own funeral. HOUSE IS SHOWING EMOTION HOLY SHIT, THIS IS not A DRILL. oh it was acting. but still house can you stop denying your emotions and sob uncontrollably into wilson’s shoulder. we know you want to.

argument in front of a random dead lady <33 like guys just kiss already. and wilson throwing a glass into the window like how they met, so silly.

“this is fun, isn’t it?” KISS KISS KISS

and ofc the buddha was rigged. NEEDLES? um ouch. i fucking hate needles and the fact she’s had them in her brain her whole life makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

finally wilson and house are friends again (like they ever weren’t friends) gay people cannot stay mad at eachother for long.

#house md #hate crimes md #birthmarks #theyre so gay #kiss kiss fall in love #hilson

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whistlebrox · 3 months ago

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Hi hi hi hi :]

Can I ask what your fave Kendrick Lamar / Tyler the creator album is? I’m a little insane about the DAMN album (oops)

Also I hope this isn’t bothering you? I’m trying to talk to ppl on tumblr more

OH MY GOD I FOUND THE ASK ABOIT DAMN TIME BC THE APP KEPT CRASHING WHEN I WAS TRYNA WRITE... HERE IS ATTEMPT FUCKING 4 TRYNA WRITE THIS I USUALLY IMMEDIATELY WRITE BACK OMG IM SO SORRYYYYY DUDE...

ur not bothering me at all!!! FINALLY I have someone 2 talk 2 about music and these albums. Oughhh I'm so insane ASK ask ask awayyy i will yap.

So starting with kendrick I fucking love the DAMN. album 2. His shit is a huge inspiration for how I see yuji and write him in fics or aus. Like he's so fucking amazing with the themes of God in the song. I rlly love how he tackled being weak or wicked. Be cruel or give in. Ouuughhh it's so good bc either way u will die from it. Being 2 weak 2 fight or dying mid battle. It's so good and dark, it tackles some heavy topics and stereotypes in the album and not 2 mention all the songs are fucking BANGERS. all of em are a BOP!! oughhh I especially love DUCKWORTH. Song gives me genuine chills. Same with the song BLOOD. Love it.

GNX is also amazing and super hype, js kendrick talking his shit 2 the industry and like about some personal life shit. I love how he blocks out some info I the songs...WE ARE 1000% GETTING A FUCKIN DELUXE OF IT!!! we have 2. I bet he's js waiting for the perfect time. I think kendrick is always one step ahead of society when he writes songs.

Then ofccc js like be fr Mr Moral and the big steppers... so personal and amazing about his journey of healing and coming 2 terms with trauma. Most people avoid the album or find it boring bc they js don't get it. He gets so human on that album and rlly opens up about some srs shit. Black trauma and the product of a mother who was SAed 2 his daddy issues... js sm more ofc on that album he comes 2 terms with and it js rlly opened my eyes dude. Some beautiful stuff there.

Then TYLERRR MY FUCKING GOAT!!

OFC I love tyler 2 death his music and I have a very stable and meaningful connection. Ofc I respect tyler for his craft but I'm not like crazy obsessed with him as I am 2 his music and how it helped me ect.

My favorite albums of his are: BASTARD, CMIYGL (deluxe ver ofc), and CHROMOKOPIA!!

BASTARD meant to sm 2 me bc at the time I listened 2 his music, it was in some tough times. The dark themes and extremely horrific lyrics were a huge comfort for me at the time. I was a disturbed teen, and at the time when Tyler made that album, so was he. It felt like I was growing up in a semi similar time, struggling with him while I climbed 2 becoming a better person. BASTARD was his first mixtape ever made and it shows but it never stopped being amazing 2 me. I still love that album 2 fucking death and litteraly nobody can pry it away from me. When I first got into tyler I heard him through the typical songs. Ofc earfquake and see u again... but also who dat boy which I loved way more than the other 2. When I get into music artists I start with the first album. And his album fuckign called 2 me. So here I am.

CMIYGL. Ohhhh where do I start... it's so summer vibes a braggy asf. It's also so so so medolic at times and very emotional. Shit I litteraly love in music js blended 2gether perfectly into an album. Dude I was so fucking happy 2 listen 2 this album. I listened 2 it after a hurricane I went through. I had a panic attack and finally sat down and listened 2 the whole thing myself and let me tell u. Shit was so fucking beautiful that I cried. It was so amazing and it cleared my mind aswell as like js fuckin changed my brain chemistry for life. After that I was a solid fan and rlly went 2 town and listened 2 all his albums. All his music is amazing for their each different reasons. I have 2 say my favorite tracks are STUNTMAN, CORSO, RISE!, and SORRY NOT SORRY. So fucking phenomenal.

The ofc CHROMAKOPIA. I don't even need 2 say anything. Its perfect. I waited for this album 2 come out and when it did I tweaked tffff outttt!!!! Ohhhh and it's popular asf in FL!!! I was so happy 2 hear him on the radio recently. STICKY is on the rap channels and I'm happy 2 hear that he made it even 2 me. Dude it's js such an amazing and important album with the shit he talks about. He's always so vulnerable in his albums. Cherry Bomb I think is the only one where he tried 2 hide himself and try 2 js experiment. Dude chromokopia... is so good... I hope I hear tyler in concert one day... I need his merch baddddd. Fave songs are Rah Tah Tah, Darling I, Thought I Was Dead, and Like Him. Shit is jssss... yeah imma stop before it's any longer. Ty sm for the ask plz talk w me more...

#Rat asks WHISTLE #music yap #kenny + tyler moments

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elysianavenue · 2 years ago

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songs that remind me of genshin characters

aether: soldier, poet, king - the oh hellos (venti clearly sings it for him duh)

lumine: two birds - regina spektor (it's about her and her bro (':)

amber: touch the sky - julie fowlis (please it s c r e a m s amber)

kaeya: iris - the goo goo dolls (ik it's a romance song but i lowkey picture him singing it to his bro im sorry)

lisa: dangerous woman - ariana grande (need i say more?)

barbara: sisters - radical face (give this girl a sister of the year award rn)

razor: on melancholy hill - gorillaz (he was raised by wolves)

xiangling: what baking can do - jessie mueller (she cooks lmao?)

beidou: wellerman - nathan evans (she's a pirate it makes sense ok)

xingqiu: paperback writer - the beatles (mans writes fanfiction cmon)

ningguang: national anthem - lana del rey (i'll tell you you're my national anthem mommy)

fischl: control - halsey (i can't explain this one it makes sense to me tho)

bennett: world's smallest violin - ajr (he definitely will blow up into smithereens at some point)

noelle: teenage dirtbag - wheatus (HER NAME IS NOELLE-)

chongyun: lemon boy - cavetown (chongyun is robbie and xingqiu is lemon boy oop-)

sucrose: rät - penelope scott (i honestly just hear her voice lol)

jean: oh no! - marina (she do be after success)

diluc: alive - khalid (daddy issues by the neighbourhood was too obvious)

qiqi: the blue wrath - i monster (again, it's one of those songs i hear and homegirl comes to mind)

mona: a sky full of stars - coldplay (her entire personality is astrology sorry)

keqing: unworthy - vancouver sleep clinic (this one might only make sense to me so i won't bother explaining it)

venti: golden slumbers - the beatles (ducky told me to put this one for venti)

klee: wrecking ball - mother mother (this should make the most sense, damn little menace)

diona: my alcoholic friends - the dresden dolls (no one hates alcohol more than this girl)

tartaglia: cherry bomb - the runaways (he deadass listens to this on repeat, prove me wrong)

xinyan: i love rock n roll - joan jett & the blackhearts (self explanatory)

zhongli: good riddance - green day (ducky also told me to add this song)

albedo: the moon will sing - the crane wives (wasn't he abracadabraed into existence or something? lmao)

ganyu: brutal - olivia rodrigo (it's ok ganyu)

xiao: can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon (lil emo boy)

hu tao: dead! - my chemical romance (im convinced she'd commit homicide to keep the funeral parlor in business SORRY LMAO I LOVE HER I PROMISE)

rosaria: take me to church - hozier (she makes me wanna go to church oop-)

yanfei: cool kids - echosmith (little nerdy lawyer chick you're cool trust)

eula: who is she ? - i monster (fr tho who is she)

kazuha: softcore - the neighbourhood (this should make sense to everyone no excuses)

ayaka: reflection - lea salonga (YOU ARE THE PERFECT DAUGHTER BB)

sayu: dreamy night - lilypichu (SHE'S LITERALLY THE VOICE ACTRESS AND IT FITS SAYU SO WELL COME ON)

yoimiya: firework - katy perry (do i need to explain?)

sara: i'll make a man out of you - donny osmond (show me what dreams are made of general kujou)

raiden: you should see me in a crown - billie eilish (she's my queen who can step on me any day)

kokomi: gilded lily - cults (it can't be easy being a high priestess :()

thoma: rainbow connection - weezer, hayley williams (specifically this version)

gorou: soldier - fleurie, tommee profitt (another self explanatory one)

itto: seven nation army - the white stripes (it's just him singing honestly)

yun jin: treacherous doctor - wallows (it makes sense after her hangout event)

shenhe: graceland too - phoebe bridgers (another i think it only makes sense to me)

yae miko: bubblegum bitch - marina (mommy-)

ayato: son - sleeping at last (he do be a son)

yelan: don't threaten me with a good time - panic! at the disco (MOMMY-)

shinobu: anklebiters - paramore (her singing to the gang)

heizou: hayloft II - mother mother (this one is more based off a headcanon)

collei: sweet hibiscus tea - penelope scott (give this girl a hug rn)

tighnari: marigolds - early eyes (my fav botany connoisseur<3)

dori: million dollar bills - lorde (stingier than mihoyo)

candace: ancient dreams in a modern land - marina (just listen to it. candace.)

cyno: the other side of paradise - glass animals (i just hear him singing it. it was originally poker face by lady gaga LOL)

nilou: footloose - kenny loggins (nilou is basically bella thorne in her shake it up era no disrespect)

nahida: fireflies - owl city (another it just makes sense to me but also i highkey imagine her jamming out to this and scara is like ???)

layla: tired - beabadoobee (get some sleep girl you deserve it)

faruzan: people i don't like - upsahl (oh she very clearly doesn't like a lot of people)

wanderer (scaramouche): i would hate me too - tx2 (HE WOULD SO SING THIS THAT LITTLE EMO ASSHOLE. an honorable mention would be emo legendary by the voice of scaradouche himself, patrick pedraza)

yaoyao: honey - derivakat (ik the song was aimed at tubbo but come on yaoyao gives this vibe as well)

alhaitham: saint bernard - lincoln (the biggest alhaitham vibe ever don't tell me otherwise)

dehya: team - lorde (*cough* mommy *cough*)

mika: scrawny - wallows (lil stinker)

kaveh: no surprises - radiohead (alhaitham if you won't give him a hug then i will)

baizhu: body - mother mother (just do his story quest)

kirara: hello kitty - avril lavigne (...self explanatory...)

lynette: tourner dans le vide - indila (okay yes a romance song but if you squint it's just about a girl who would do anything for a male she loves and in this case lynette is someone who would do anything for her brother whom she loves)

lyney: mad hatter - melanie martinez (seriously. do i need to explain this one.)

freminet: rises the moon - liana flores (my actual favorite character of all time)

neuvillette: ocean eyes - billie eilish (mans is hydro man with pretty blue eyes i had to pick this one im sorry)

wriothesley: wires - the neighbourhood (THIS MAN HAS ME ON A FUCKING LEASH. ahem. sorry im gonna go touch grass right now and call my therapist.)

charlotte: watch what happens - kara lindsay (god i love it when things just make sense)

furina: the ballad of mona lisa - panic! at the disco (you're really gonna look at me and tell me that i'm wrong?)

this is the playlist on spotify 👇

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5puQ0xhZv1MrwZ8TyAMkde?si=6wlgE48iTtGH-V_Ld19DfA

#genshin impact #genshin characters #genshin #spotify #genshin playlist #spotify playlist #elyse plays genshin

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tothestarsinvelaris · 11 months ago

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I finished HOFAS (finally oh my goodness) and honestly .... I'm so glad its over

(a long and ranty post with spoilers fyi)

best parts of hofas and crescent city in general (the bonus chapters were honestly so good):

Nesta and Azriel being badass, seeing more of their powers and fighting

Azriel enjoying club music and heavy metal

Nesta asking Bryce to show them how the phones worked and implying that the IC sat there with the phone for who knows how long trying to figure it tf out

Ember not being scared of Rhys at all and standing up to him, her scolding him for giving Nesta such a hard time, her starting to heal Nesta's mommy issues.

Ember seeing Nesta through the portal and saying "is that one of the princes of Hel??" (lmao I laughed so hard tbh)

Any scene at all that involved Ruhn. Specifically Ruhn and Lidia

RUHN AND LIDIA'S BONUS CHAPTER!!!! Ruhn being a little soft boy crying and just being so in love ugh

Lidia's sons being impressed by Ruhn and making sure he would take care of their mom

Lidia threatening to shoot Ruhn in the head if he got in the way of her saving her sons (tbh, facts)

the rest of that book was ..... not good I fear 😬

bc I'm sorry, you're telling me that she opened a black hole to eat another black hole; Hunt was able to stand at the edge of it without getting sucked in, then gets into a mechsuit and can just jump in and save her. Then all their friends use their magic and love to keep the portal to the black hole open while Hunt carries Bryce out of it; Bryce dies but oh look at that, Hypaxia showed up out of nowhere and used her extra cool magic powers as the new Head of House of Flame and Shadow to pull the ol' switcheroo and trade Bryce's soul (somehow) for Jesiba's and then poof Bryce is alive again and cracking her chessy, not funny jokes immediately when everyone is literally sobbing around her bc she was dead????? hello ???

and when Tharion showed up with the water and Hunt's lightning is apparently ineffective because of the water, but the HOSAB he was afraid to use his lightning in the water because it would have fried everyone that was in it????

and Bryce ditches Azriel and Nesta to fight the wyrm and then is confused why they're mad at her and don't trust her fr?? she doesn't explain anything to them and is confused when they figure out the power she has and that she has the horn tattooed in her back and want to bring her to Rhys to talk?? she lets a creepy Asteri woman out of her 15000 year old tomb to ask her questions and is then mad when Nesta kills her bc she wanted to ask more questions?!?! she steals the Starsword from Azriel and is confused when they draw their weapons on her too?! She steals Truth-Teller and then opens a portal back to her own world and is like "oops, hope they'll forgive me! teehee!" ?!?!?!?!?! and then has the audacity to assume that Nesta will just give her the damn mask of death because she asked nicely!??! shit, she's lucky she got Nesta when she was alone and used her parents as bargaining chips to somebody with mommy and daddy issues bc anyone else would have either killed her or told her to fuck off.

we had like 8 really uncomfy and not good sex scenes between Bryce and Hunt where their magic was exploding and combining all over the place and it lasted like 4 seconds, but they're both just like "wow this is the best sex that has ever sexed!! we're so cool and special and anyone else who has sex is icky and gross!!" 😬

we could have taken away half of their scenes and replaced them with more detail on much more interesting characters such as Ruhn, Lidia, Ithan, Tharion, etc etc.

Especially more Ruhn and Lidia bc they were so damn cute and the only emotional investment I had in this entire series. I am a crier when it comes to books. Like, I sobbed during a lot of the emotional scenes in both TOG and ACOTAR. The only time I cried at all during the entire CC series was when Ruhn is trying to sacrifice himself to Pollux to save Lidia's sons and mind speaks to her that he loves her and that his soul fell in love with her and that his soul will find her in the next life. Like hello?? that's adorable and heart-wrenching and we deserved more of them!!!

And like....

Bryce honestly just wasn't it. She was so impulsive, so childish, so sassy and cocky and we didn't get enough background on her at any point in the series for it to make sense. We didn't get to see times where her sassiness and cockiness were challenged or proved useful to her in any way, we didn't get to see any backstory that made it make sense why she built up that exterior to protect her vulnerability. She does impulsive things and endangers the people around her, that she cares about the most, and then gets confused or upset when they aren't happy about it. She goes around acting like she's smarter than everyone else, is entitled to what she wants, and then gets irritated if people try to challenge her or don't want to go along with what she's asking.

I have really liked all of sjm's other female characters, Nesta and Aelin included, but Bryce just... wasn't it.

Nesta is a good comparison too bc I went back and forth on her as a character, then read ACOSF and didn't like her at all for the first 1/3 to half of the book, then realized that I was the problem and that she was coping with things in her own way and it wasn't my place to determine how someone can heal from their traumas, which lead to me really liking her as a character and respecting the strength she has.

Aelin I liked the entire time, but she also had a reputation to back up her behavior and personality, she had a backstory that we learned about that explained why she came off as impulsive and didn't share her plan with the people around her, she proved over and over again how badass she was, so when she was cocky it just made sense.

We didn't get any of those things with Bryce which made it really difficult to relate to her and not find her kind of annoying the majority of the time.

Also...

I never want to read the word "alphahole" ever again.

I never want to read a character unironically referring to themselves as the "Super Powerful and Special Magic Starborn Princess".

I'm just... so glad its over.

#ruhn danaan carried the series #crescent city spoilers #cc hofas #house of flame and shadow #hofas spoilers #hofas #hofas rant #anti bryce quinlan #anti crescent city #sorry but i just didn't like it that much tbh #the day & night dynamic was the best part of the entire series #azriel and nesta carried the series with ruhn #i read it for the lore #rant review #sjm could have used better editors for this series overall #sjm just please don't fuck up the next ACOTAR book i stg #I have never wanted to rewrite a series for an author more than this one bc its just... so bad #maasverse lore was kinda cool though I guess #but clearly the better characters stayed in their own worlds and the ones who went to Midgard had something wrong with them #and these are just my issues with the hofas... i didn't even complain about my issues with hoeab and hosab... oof

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limoneads · 10 months ago

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HI LAYLA havent said hi in so long im so sorry my lemon friend.... also i have been investigating cobra kai this shit is crazy i thought it was like a show about karate for teen boys with maybe some coming of age stuff but apprently peyton list tries to kill people???????

yeah this show is insane (affectionate and despising). also hi yin how are you!!! i haven't been very active on tumblr dot com in a while lol. hopes you're well 🫶🫶

yeah a teenager gets paralyzed in a karate duel about daddy and girlfriend issues. uhhh. peyton list slashes a girls arm and wounds her with a spiky bracelet. it's a show for Cool Dads™️ to self project onto the cringe fail alcoholic main protagonist but it's also?? the most show of all time?? you have to watch it yin i'm begging you. you need to suffer through the last few seasons (after netflix picked it up and it went downhill oops) but watch the actually good karate kid movies first. and then the last one bc you need to know about the toxic homoerotic karate old men who are vietnam veterans. and also in love? but. evil. terry silver dumps toxic waste as a hobby and it isn't talked about ever again. grahhhhh the most show of all time.

the teenager stuff gets a little boring and melodramatic at times but. miguel is kinda the best.

and i have a horrid toxic relationship with this show. i love it so much and i have my first real oc who i'm really proud of bc of it. i'm also parenting all of these kids even tho most of them were born in the few years before me?? but they're frozen in 2018 so it doesn't matter. tangent over lol. you gotta watch this show pleek. pirate it or something if you don't have/don't want to give netflix your money

#hi yin!!!!! giving you a lil air smooch through the interwebs #i'm begging you guys to watch the show. i haven't seen season six yet but i bet it's Bad.#i need moots to talk about it with and i don't want to make anymore friends lol #i need to rewatch it so bad i forget half the crazy shit that goes on but. yeah ❤️

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clay-cuttlefish · 2 years ago

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We're getting back into the good shit now. Vic's back in action, Renee is written by Greg Rucka for the first time, Helena and Vic meet, Blue Beetle is here...

Azrael Plus The Question

Vic's been playing poker. Lots of opportunities to wander around and get into trouble while keeping him retired from heroing and from journalism, it works for him.

Oops All Daddy Issues.

I like how low key this is, despite everything. Vic and Jean-Paul are weird dudes with a lot of problems and that's on full display.

Green Lantern #81

Another cameo that's only notable because I have no clue why Vic would be here. He has literally never met Hal Jordan, how did he get an invite. He's even standing off to the back instead of sitting with everyone else.

The Question Returns

The river emissary is conceptually a lot better than any of the other supernatural takes on the Question. The idea that Vic's death in the river would make his conscience literally haunt him is interesting, and it being questionably supernatural is more to my taste. Making the river a magical harmonica-playing old black man was not a great choice though.

Vic describing Tot as "an ex-father figure" makes me want to implode.

"these auditory hallucinations are getting on my nerves" BIG mood.

Vic is a mess. He can't go home, he can't stay away, he's shifted from Vic Sage the hard-hitting journalist to Vic Sage the laid-back poker player but he hasn't been able to change the Question. This is why he takes up so much space in my brain.

Even after he left he still held on to his love for Myra and Hub City, and this is where he can't do it anymore. He will never see her again. Godddddddd.

Steel #38

I hadn't read this one before, and I'm glad I'm reading it now, because it's great. I gotta get into Steel eventually.

Vic declares himself teammates with John and then immediately splits up and gets his shit wrecked. Maybe let the guy with power armor protect you next time.

This wandering gambler era is fun, I wish it had lasted a little longer. There are so many interesting places Vic could pop up with poker incidents as an excuse, it's the perfect way to keep him around without him having anything specific going on.

A World for Burning (Tec #714-715)

Calling her a supporting character is maybe a stretch but she gets to talk to Martian Manhunter so I'm counting it.

A fun little mystery story.

Cataclysm

Vic interlude is over, time for events.

I like Cataclysm quite a bit. It's heavy on the cop shit and some of the issues are just not good, but I think the earthquake makes for a better citywide event than any of the "oh no it's the Joker" ones, and everyone involved really gets to shine.

Once again I am forced to admit I like when Cluemaster shows up. Steph saving her dad from Helena despite everything is a strong moment.

Random Encounters (Batman Chronicles #14)

OH NO. Ohhhh no. Strap in folks it's time for her to become a main character.

Renee talks to her brother about his guilt over killing when he was in the Navy, and she uses Two-Face's coin to make her point about randomness and how right and wrong aren't simple, which. Hhhhh.

Apparently she shot a guy who was trying to kill Two-Face, and got the coin in return.

Sorry but Renee flipping the coin and making decisions based on the outcome fucking annihilates me and I cannot BELIEVE I hadn't read this before now.

This isn't even a comic it's a short story. Eight pages of Rucka setting up the dominoes.

An Answer in the Rubble (Batman Chronicles #15)

VIC AND HELENA BABYYYY

Self-recognition through the other (annoying)

His anime hair???

I love them so much.

Road to No Man's Land

Sorry but the Bruce Wayne political drama is ridiculous even by my standards. Gotham would be the second-largest city in the US today, or one of the top 5 if the "7 million" is the city and surrounding area, you cannot tell me it would get totally cut off. Screwed by inadequate relief? Sure. Wiped off the map? Lol no.

Okay fine it's the devil. The devil did it. Comic books.

L.A.W.

We've been in Gotham long enough, time to go do Some Bullshit!

This is in continuity, but it ignores all of Vic's canon post-Charlton - he's a newscaster working with Nora from the Ditko run, Hub City is Ted's home city but not his, he's characterized pretty much how he was in Charlton and those few Blue Beetle crossovers post-Crisis... the other heroes seem a little more up-to-date but they're all still kind of janky.

Wow this does not do a good job making me care about any of these characters.

The plot is mostly racist and/or nonsense and most of it bounced right off my brain despite repeated readings.

Honestly I'm here for Ted more than Vic. He's going through it.

I do like the framing device of Vic writing his report in the final issue. The real treasure was the friends we made along the way.

#clayposts #clayreads #the question #vic sage #renee montoya

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underwhelmingalchemist · 2 months ago

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Writer Questions Tag Game!

Thanks so much to @unlifeira for the tag! I love getting tagged in these games sm (although the notifs do get buried sometimes and I never find them again oops)

Note: This got long, so I'm putting it under a cut.

How many works on AO3? Only 35. I had a handful that I wrote in high school that I've since orphaned (to be fair, they were. very bad), and a bunch of them on Deviantart from middle and early high school (no you cannot read them). I want to write more, but I feel like the ability to write comes in bursts.

2. Total AO3 word count? 157,434. Yeah, that seems about right. Write. You get it.

3. Top 5 fics by kudos? 1 - Can I lay by your side (next to you) 2 - Captain America and the Bionic Staring Machine 3 - Take me there ('cause it's so overdue) 4 - Wrap Me Up (With a Nice Little Bow) 5 - To a Girl in 1943 on the USO Tour

4. What fandoms do you write for? Mainly the MCU and Dungeons and Daddies (season 3 specifically), but I've been wanting to write and actually finish more Supernatural fics. I love Destiel but I never feel like I can nail their character portrayals.

5. Do you respond to comments? These days? Every single comment I get. I haven't always in the past, either because I felt guilty for not updating the fic or because the comment section of that fic became an overwhelming cesspit of Discourse (looking at you USO Tour fic). But yeah, these days, if you leave a comment, I'm going to be replying as soon as I can. I love getting comments sm, and regularly screenshot them to save as writing motivation, so that's the least I can do to show my appreciation.

6. Angstiest ending? The only one I can think of is "Nothing More than a Wandering Ghost". I haven't read it in a while, but iirc, it was basically a breakup between two people who weren't together because of Bucky's identity issues. The funny thing is that in my original pieces, I absolutely love writing gut-wrenching endings and plot points, but when it comes to fic, I always want to end it on a sweet note. So even my angsty fics end well enough. Except the Wandering Ghost one. Which might be why it didn't do so well.

7. Fics with the happiest ending? Uhhhh idk. Like I said, they all tend to end pretty happy. My latest Kelsey/Trudy fic did end on an unequivocally joyful note, especially when taking into account this point in canon, so maybe that?

8. Do you get hate? Oh yeah. See the above comment about the USO Tour fic. For some reason, that's the worst comment section I've ever had. It was a Stucky fic that took place around the time of the "please tell me you're keeping the suit" comment, and featured Bucky dressed as a USO girl riding Steve in the Cap costume. It was pure PWP smut, bu for like the first few weeks it was up, I got nonstop awful comments. At first, most of them were positive about the fic but also talking about the quote from the She-Hulk show it was based on, and having full-on discourse discussion groups in the comments. After putting a note at the end asking people to please stop commenting about it, I still occasionally got comments like, "Not going to talk about Woke-Hulk, but..." (actual phrasing). And then I got a long-ass comment accusing me of erasing the holocaust and bastardizing the MCU timeline and totally ignoring Bucky's entire storyline in order to turn him into a fucktoy and just... Idk. There was more, but I don't remember much of it? I just replied something like "Sir this is a Wendy's Stucky crossdressing smut fic", and they left it there. And then things were fine for a while, until I woke up one morning to find a guest account accusing me of supporting the genocide in Palestine because a Zionist that I'm very definitively not associated and had blocked years ago for some reason or another had... Idk, endorsed the fanfic at some point? And then someone jumped in to defend me- and talk about how it's actually a complex issue (it's not, it's a genocide). And then the other person replied to them, and left another comment asking me if I was going to do anything about the "genocidal Hasbara propagandist" in my comments or if I actually agreed with them. Then I got a comment from someone telling me that I may want to lock the comments for a while because someone was going around accusing people of being Zionists. I thanked them, told them I knew, deleted the comments of the people arguing, added a note telling people that this was not the place for discourse on the genocide in Palestine and that I'd be locking the comments. I think I'm going to leave them locked.

9. Do you write smut? Unironically one of my favorite things to write. Gay sex my beloved <3

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope. I used to when I was younger, but not anymore. Honestly I should do it again sometime. Just not sure what crossover I'd do.

11. Ever had a fic stolen? Yes, because I don't lock my fics and AO3 recently found out that AI companies used crawlers to scrape all available fanfics on the site. I very much count that as stealing. Still not going to lock my fics because I don't want to make people log in to find and read my fics, especially the ones that have been up for a while. But I'm still mad about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah! Quite a few times, actually. If someone asks to translate a fic, I'm usually pretty pumped about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? This is another "not since being a teenager" thing. I wrote some with friends when I was in middle and high school, and one time when I was younger I wrote a fic that had a decent enough number of people following it when I lost interest in it that I handed it off to another writer/mutual to finish. I think they only wrote one other chapter, though. But if anyone wants to co-write a fic, hmu because it could be fun!

14. All-time favorite ship? This is a cruel question. How dare you make me choose. I would sooner pick a favorite star in the night sky or favorite grain of sand than declare which ship demands my favor above all others. You may as well have asked me to decide which puppy in a litter is the goodest boy while they all stare at me with big, adorable eyes. Next question.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Are we only counting published ones here? Because if we are, then "In Your Pages" is probably never getting finished tbh. It's a cool idea, but I kind of lost interest in it. The only other unfinished series I've published is "In Full Color", which I do actually plan on finishing, contrary to what the long hiatus might indicate. As for unpublished, I have an entire folder of those.

16. Writing strengths? Description, creativity, research, incorporating personal knowledge

17. Writing weaknesses? Hmm. Probably the main ones are just the practical ones. Maintaining interest in projects, actually seeing them through to the end, finding the time and motivation to actually write, etc. Also, I am incapable of making anything either notably short or long. I have a couple fics that fall outside it, but for the most part, my writing projects live in the valley of 5k-15k words.

18. Thoughts on mixed-language dialogue? I only speak English, so I have none. I'll defer to what others say on this one.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Star Wars. I was a die-hard expanded universe fan as a kid, and I was dead set on writing my own book for it, which I thought I could totally do at the age of 12. I didn't get too far with it tho. I read it again recently, and it was... actually not bad? Like, it wasn't good, but for a 12-year-old it was pretty decent.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? Captain America and the Bionic Staring Machine, probably. I also really like Home (yes the one I just posted, recency bias is real) and Tie Me Up (With a Nice Little Bow).

Wow, that got long. But it was fun! I love talking about my writing, and writing in general.

No pressure tags: @soliloquent-stark and... Okay what other fic writers do I know. I'm totally drawing a blank here so uhhh I guess if you want to do this you're tagged!

#ask me things #long post #personal #my fic stuff

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sunniques · 5 months ago

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🫦 anon here with a work problem...

I have a work crush on the cute Pharmacy Manager (30-32ish?) and I OOP- WHAT DO I DO NOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 once again it's me and my daddy issues IT'S ALWAYS THE OLDER MEN GAHHHH

Well I'm in Accounts and he's the Pharmacy Manager but I do reports for him so heheh IT'S TOUGH FOR ME I ALWAYS GOTTA CONTROL MYSELF BEFORE ENTERING HIS CABIN and I stand next to him quite often if I'm showing him some report or if he's showing me something on his PC AHHHHHHHHH AND he wears glasses GRRRRR what do I do fuck.

omg noooo work crushes are the worst fr. like you never know if it’s fr or bc of close proximity. either way just focus on your work bc getting involved with someone at your job is messy. try to find a different crush or avoid him as much as possible to get over him. i’ll be supportive of whtv you decide to do tho! love u 🫶

#canon event fr #🫦 anon #mailbox

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fuwushiguro · 3 years ago

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If You Like What You See, End Your Curiosity

pornstar!Toji Fushiguro x camgirl f!Reader

Genre: Smut Notes: I wrote this for @cursedmoonchild's oops I did it again! collab. This is my first of two submissions, thank you so much for letting me join gorgeous I hope you all enjoy the fic! Warnings: 18+, camshow au, live cam sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, masturbation, cucking, reader w pubic hair, daddy kink, brat taming, pussy spanks, praise, dumbification, edging, spanking, fingering, oral (m+f receiving), face riding, slapping, face fucking, aftercare. Words: 5.2k

networks: @planetonet

Sometimes Megumi can’t focus on your words because all he can think about is your glossy lips. It’s rare, though, because he knows you’ll never be interested in him the way he is with you. In his mind, you’re out of his league, and you have a career to focus on. He’s glad he met you when he started university since you’re more or less his only friend. But of course he had to go and be a stupid love sick fool and get a pointless crush on you. Despite knowing what the answer will be, he decides today is the day he’s gonna put a pin it in finally so that he can move on.

He's going to ask you on a date.

“What are you doing after class today, ‘Gumi?” you ask, earnestly while applying another sticky layer of lip gloss while staring at your reflection in your tiny compact mirror.

This is it. This is as good an opportunity he’s ever going to get. It has to be now. It needs to be now. But what if you say yes? Oh my fucking God that would be the best thing ever. He’ll make his intentions with you clear. And he’ll finally get the girl of his dreams. And it’ll show him that you reciprocate his feelings. Oh God that is the best possible outcome. But his palms are sweating at the prospect and he needs to calm down since he knows it’s unlikely that it’ll go down like that.

“I was wondering if you’d like to, um,” use the word date for the love of God use the word date, “I was thinking we could hang out tonight?” FUCK! He curses himself as he realises his error. He’s never going to get the courage to ask you out for real. Who was he kidding?

You look at him with furrowed brows, and he wonders for a second if he did use the word date. But then you start to giggle and he thinks he might curl in a ball and die at the prospect of you laughing at his suggestion of going out with him. He thought you were too nice for that. You’re normally so nice…

“Megumi… I can’t tonight I told you already, I’m busy.” you remind him with a cheery smile, it sends a wave of relief through his system when he notes you were laughing at his poor memory rather than his inadequacy as a potential partner.

“Oh, right. Uh, you did? I don’t—”

“I’m streaming tonight. You know, the special guest stream! The one I’ve not shut up about for like… two weeks!” you beam. It sends a chill through him as he recalls the main reason why you’d never want to be with him. You’re fierce. You’re independent. You’re out of his league.

“Sure. Must have slipped my mind, sorry.” he sighs, resting his head in his hand to get focus back on the book he was reading. You note his change in demeanour. He’s normally a grumpy guy but he seems worse than usual now. You shove your makeup and mirror in your handbag and lean closer to him. Fuck, please don’t get too close to him, your perfume smells too good.

“Megs… are you okay?” you ask him, kindly. No. He’s not fucking okay. You smell so fucking girly and perfect he thinks he’s gonna pop a fucking boner if you don’t back up from him.

“Fine.” he says, rudely, slamming his book closed and standing up to leave the room for a bathroom break.

He obviously isn’t fine. Both of you know it, but you decide not to press the issue any further. And honestly, he’s thankful for that.

He seemed to relax a little when he returned from the bathroom and the rest of your class went smoothly. You left the class with him and walked side-by-side until you reached your car. You’ve been giving him rides home while his car is in for repairs. It’s a little degrading, he thinks, to be seen as a passenger in your gaudy pink car. But he wouldn’t refuse it since it means he’ll be avoiding public transport. And it’s nice to spend a little more time with you.

“So what time is this special guest coming over?” he asks you, scouring for information on who you’d be spending your evening with over him.

“Not for a few hours but… I need to set up and get ready, so—”

“I wasn’t getting at anything. I know you’re too busy to hang out, just curious.” he interrupts, knowing what you were about to say. It’s almost scary sometimes how well he knows you. It gives you goosebumps, honestly, that he knew you were about to tell him you didn’t have any time to spare for him today.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to be rude,” you explain, and he nods knowingly, “I just… this could be huge for me. He’s a pretty big deal in the industry and it could seriously put me on the map.” you explain.

“It’s fine.” it wasn’t. Of course it was a fucking guy. Of course he couldn’t be lucky enough to not have to fight another dude for your attention. For fuck sake. Why does nothing ever go his way?

“He’s older, too, and he’s really hot so I’m nervous. I need all the time I can get to prepare. I need this to be perfect.” you tell him, doing your best to explain away your guilt since it’s beginning to eat at you that you’re snubbing your best friend. “I can’t even believe he agreed to do a stream with me. Like, he’s so fucking hot.”

“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to keep going on and on about it, just take me home.” he pouts. You shrug your shoulders, knowing it’s always been an uncomfortable subject for him and deciding to leave it for his sake. You don’t want his sour attitude to get into your head and ruin everything for you tonight, after all.

He wonders how stupid you can be to not realise he’s in love with you.

It’s been seven hours since you dropped Megumi off at his place. You hadn’t text him any updates of how your preparations were going and he decided not to ask. It’s almost midnight and he knows you aren’t you at this time. You’re her. You’re BerryCherryXO around this time.

You were pretty upfront with him about your secret double life as a camgirl, justifying that you aren’t ashamed of yourself for using your assets to make money. And he respects you for it. But it would be a plain lie if he said it didn’t kill him to think you flaunt your body, your pussy, for strangers to leer over. He’s never watched any of your streams. You’re grateful to him, since he’s told you he respects you and your friendship too much to do that to you, despite you telling him he’s welcome to if he ever gets curious. He’d feel like a creep since he knows he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands out of his pants once he sees the intimate areas of your body that only a lover should.

He'd get addicted.

He hates the thought of you fucking someone live on camera like you’re going to tonight. You’ve done it before, you’ve told him. Mostly girls since you claim it gets you more money. Most of the time you go solo, though, edging yourself for all to see until you simply can’t take it anymore. You’re good at your job, and the pay is fucking great.

Megumi finds himself in bed with his laptop and a bottle of lotion on his bedside. The lotion is there every night, but this particular evening he has a mission. He’s going to jerk off to some random amateur porn and fall the fuck asleep so he can’t think about what you’re doing anymore.

But his fingers stray and he hates himself. He’s too curious. Who is this special fucking guest that is such a huge deal? He can’t stop himself from typing the web address in the search bar for the streaming site he knows you use. He types your name into search bar and lo and behold, you’re live. His fingers hover for a while over the thumbnail and he has a moral debate of whether he should do this. It feels like a betrayal of trust despite you saying he can watch whenever he likes. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t. But he’s clicking it.

God you’re so beautiful. You’re sat so innocently yet dressed so scantily. You’re head to toe in pastel pink lingerie. It’s ruffled and adorable and a little see through. He can see your nipples through the sheer material. The stockings and garter belt have his mind running a mile a minute. He wants to fuck you, bad. He never thought of you as his personal fuck toy before now. He always respected you like the human being you are. He wanted to wine and dine you and love you like he knows he can and how you deserve. But that concept, right now, is out of the window. He wants to push your pathetic little panties to one side and bury your head into your soft pillows while he rams his cock into your little cunt.

This was a mistake.

He’s so fucking hard.

He can’t touch himself. If he touches himself it’s over. He’ll just stay for a little while. He’s smiling and his heart swells as you smile and begin to welcome in all of your viewers. You’ve just started, clearly. The title boasts about your special guest, the comments are flooded with speculation over who it could be. You giggle, and tut at their impatience.

“You’ll be meeting him very soon…” you speak, eyes scanning through the hundreds of comments pouring in. “Yeah, yeah I’ll change the title once he comes in. He won’t be long guys!” you laugh, repositioning yourself to flaunt more of your perfect body.

He can’t believe this is happening. And you’re a natural, it seems. Not at all camera shy and you talk to your audience as if you’re friends. He becomes a little distracted as he scrolls down from your stream to see your profile.

He wonders if it’s all true. Maybe it’s just part of your persona that you’re so confident and… crass. There is a section dedicated to describing yourself where you list your measurements and even whether or not you have pubic hair. There is a photo gallery filled with raunchy photographs. His mind races as he recalls seeing less dirty versions on your Instagram page. You get praised enough on Instagram, if only they could see your double life.

You have around 10 thousand subscribers and there are hundreds of positive reviews from several accounts. He scrolls back up to your stream to see you already have 1000 viewers in here. You’re pretty popular without help. And whoever this mystery guy is who you are confident will make your career might skyrocket the views even more.

“’m getting bored waiting for him guys… should we have some fun?” you question. An immediate stream of comments saying yes pour in which makes you giggle. You rest your back against the wall and open your legs nice and wide for all to see. Megumi takes such a heavy gulp it hurts his chest. He can see your… fuck. “I’m so fucking wet! He needs to hurry up and play with me already.” you confess as you lightly tap your pretty pearl through the pink material of your panties.

And just like that, Megumi is even deeper in love.

His cock is throbbing as he can think of nothing else but being the one to alleviate your sexual hunger. He may not have as much experience as you, but he’s sure he’d make you feel good. He’d put your pleasure above his own and he’d help you cum as many times as you needed until you were satisfied. And he certainly wouldn’t make you wait like this asshole is.

The tapping on your clit quickens and you begin to moan softly. Megumi doesn’t think he’s heard a prettier sound in all of his life. Your legs are shaking and squirming. You know you can’t cum so soon so that you can milk as much money as you can from your viewers. But God damn it, you’ve worked yourself up. Megumi watches the comment section as many of them demand that you make yourself cum and stop waiting for the guest to arrive. A few of them are even speculating that he isn’t coming anymore. Even fewer think that you’ve made it up.

He leaves his bed to grab a bottle of water from his mini fridge, hoping it will cool him down and settle his rising heart rate. He stands away from the screen for a long time as he decides to drain the bottle of its contents. And while he’s standing, he hears a knocking sound from his speakers. He doesn’t wait for you to welcome him in, instead barging in to see you touching yourself.

“You better not be playing with daddy’s pussy, baby.” he speaks. It’s deep, gruff, and intimidating. And by this point, Megumi knows this whole thing is staged. He should have known all along, really, since that is how you gain attention and views. Little stunts and plots to drive up the view count. And it seems to have worked like a charm. You share a little banter between each other and he coughs a little too loudly when you finally say the mans name. But he hears you tapping furiously at your keyboard, remembering that you promised to change the title once he arrived.

Megumi returns to see the chat in a frenzy. He can’t see the man, who’s head is perfectly beheaded off screen for the moment. His eyes squint as head reads the chat and he thinks he is going fucking mental.

TOJI!!!!

TOJI FUSHIGURO?!

OMFG IT’S DADDY TOJI!

No. Fucking. Way.

His eyes drift to see the newly changed title of your video. Toji Fushiguro, indeed. His hand cups your face and finally his side profile comes into view when he bends down to kiss you intimately.

Megumi rubs his temples with a vengeance as he feels himself getting a tension headache from the revelation that Toji Fushiguro is your special fucking guest. The hot older guy that you couldn’t stop fawning over. His fucking dad.

It makes sense that you didn’t put two and two together considering Megumi changed his surname to Zen’in after his mother passed away and his father left. His father who he hasn’t seen for two fucking years. His father who he had no fucking clue that he had been making a living as a pornstar.

Megumi spots the view count shoot up as time goes by. The minute you changed your title to include his father’s name, your stream became the most viewed livestream on the homepage of the site. Christ alive. What are the God damn odds?

“Look at this cute fuckin’ outfit you got for daddy comin’ over.” he snarls as he gropes your breast and flicks his fingers over your nipple a few times. You hiss, dramatically, and he silences you with a kiss. “Can’t believe you couldn’t wait for me. You know I don’t like impatient brats, don’tcha?”

“F-Fuck, please. I’m sorry we were all just, ah—!” you yelp as he uses his hand to grab the entire mound of your pussy.

“Fuck, princess. Got your little cunt nice ‘n wet for me, at least.” he praises. Megumi watches on as his father pulls your back into his chest and he spreads your legs to show off your drippy panties to the audience. To him. Toji sticks his tongue out, sliding the palm of his hand down the entire length to dampen in. You yelp as his heavy palm comes down and spanks your panty covered pussy. It stimulates your clit but it shocked you. Shocks you, because he repeats himself a few times. “Daddy don’t like bad girls who break the rules, baby.” he reminds you, spanking your swollen cunt again and again.

“Shiiiit, T-Toji, ‘m sorry!” you mewl, earning a harsher spank.

“Not Toji, darlin’, what’s my fuckin’ name?”

“Ah-! D-Daddy! Fuck, daddy, ‘m sorry!”

“That’s it… Good girl…” he praises, spanking your pussy a little lighter this time, but still hard enough to elicit a response. “Daddy don’t like it when stupid little girls touch their pussies without his permission, either.”

“I’ll be good f’you, promise!” you assure him. He grins and spanks you one more time.

“Yeah, bet you fuckin’ will when I’m done with ya,” he laughs, “gonna edge this little pussy o’yours ‘til you’re cryin’. How’s that sound to everyone, huh?”

After Megumi reads a few comments agreeing with his proposal, he slams the lid of his laptop closed. Deciding enough is enough, he can’t do this. It’s too weird it’s… sick. He didn’t think he could hate his dad any more than he already does.

But Toji always finds a way to outdo himself.

Megumi finds himself downstairs with his roommates in the kitchen. He rummages in the fridge while Yuuji and Nobara have a pointless conversation of ‘what would you do if’. Yuuji’s latest question being, ‘what would you do if a dinosaur charged into the kitchen?’

“Die, probably.” Nobara answers honestly, and it’s a realistic answer. Unlike Yuuji claiming he’d tame it and keep it as a pet. “What would you do if the love of your life started dating your best friend?” she asks.

“I’d be… happy for them? I guess. Wouldn’t want to ruin things for ‘em.” Yuuji tells them both. And it’s true, to be honest, that is a very Yuuji thing to do. Nobara approves of his answer and then they both turn to Megumi who just shrugs his shoulders. “Boooooring.” Yuuji boo’s.

“Alright,” Megumi speaks as he puts down his glass of orange juice, “what would you do if one of your parents was fucking the love of your life?” he asks. It’s genuine curiosity, and an attempt to gauge what to do about his predicament.

“Kill them both.” Nobara answers.

“No, seriously.”

“Am I laughing?” she responds, earning a laugh from the boys. “What would you do Yuuji?” Nobara asks him.

“Well I don’t know my parents, do I?” he laughs a little more.

“If you did?” Megumi asks. Yuuji just shrugs again, which gives Megumi the right to spin his ‘boring’ comment back around on him. “Okay well what if, uh, the love of your life didn’t know they were your parent.”

“Well you can’t hold it against them, then. Right?” Yuuji comments.

“Fuck that,” Nobara laughs. “I’d probably still kill the parent and just find a new person to be in love with, if that was the case.”

“What about… If, uh,” Megumi stumbles, unsure if he should divulge any further information about what he’s going through. “If the love of your life turned out to be a porn star… and, uh, your parent was their scene partner.”

“This is getting way too specific, Megumi.”

“For sure.”

“Shut up. It’s just a game, right? What would you do?” Megumi presses further.

“Are you asking us if we would jerk off to our parents fucking the love of our life?” Yuuji wonders. Megumi winces, pulling a disgusted face as he waits for Yuuji to continue. “Well, in fairness, I don’t know my parents so I might have already jerked off to them fucking someone else.”

“You’re so disgusting Itadori.” Nobara scoffs. “I wouldn’t watch my parents fucking the love of my life, I wouldn’t watch them fucking anyone.” she speaks sternly. Nobara is the voice of reason, right now, the right thing that Megumi should do. That he is doing right now by being here with them. He knows he has perfect access to you waiting on his closed laptop upstairs. He needs the reassurance from his roommates that he shouldn’t do this. Nobara is right. It’s totally fucked up.

“If the video didn’t have my parents face in I’d probably be able to get myself there, y’know?” Yuuji speaks, Megumi and Nobara let their jaws hang low in disbelief of his blunt honesty. “Like, a first person shot or that gross back shot of balls slapping against their ass.”

“What is wrong with you?” Nobara fake barfs as she thinks further about what he said.

“You know what? I’d jerk off to it whether I saw their face or not. They’re the fucking love of my life? If I love someone I’m gonna get hard, and what am I gonna do? Not cum to the love of my life? It’s bad manners.”

“I’m going to bed.” Nobara tells them both, leaving the kitchen.

“Me too.” Megumi huffs, following her.

“What? I thought we were having fun! Cowards! I’m just bein’ honest unlike you two.”

Why the fuck did he have to say that. Couldn’t he have lied like a normal person? Now Megumi has a pass to do what he’s desperate to do. It’s you. It’s beautiful, perfect you getting fucked senseless by his stupid piece of shit dad. But he can ignore that. He can ignore him for you.

He gets back to his room and opens the lid of his laptop to see the stream still active. In the time he’s been chatting with his friends, you still haven’t even began to fuck. But now, you’re over Toji’s lap like a naughty school girl getting spanked stupid. Your yelps and cries are so sweet. He’s hard again. Fuck. He can’t help loving you.

Megumi still manages to resist the urge to touch himself throughout it all. He almost loses his resolve when Toji pulls your panties down roughly, like it’s stupid that you’re even wearing them. He tosses them aside and shows your pretty pussy to the camera for all to see. And Megumi knew it would be gorgeous. Like you. It mentioned on your profile that you trimmed rather than shaving completely bald down there. It didn’t bother him one bit, and clearly the same could be said for Toji as he wasted no time dipping his fingers into your sticky folds.

“Careful now, darlin’. Better not cum without my say so.” Toji smirks as he pummels his fingers inside of your textured walls.

You’re moaning, groaning, panting, squealing. Your face buries into the crook of his neck as he fingers you better than anyone else ever has. But still, Megumi holds true. His cock is throbbing and leaking and he knows he won’t be able to hold out much longer without giving it some form of attention.

“D-Daddy…” you moan, eager to make a request. You’ve been getting edged for fucking ages and even through the webcam Megumi can see how your legs are trembling. What a trooper.

“What is it, baby?”

“Could you, um, can you… go… d-do—”

“Want me to go down on you?” he speaks, loud enough for it to echo off the walls in your bedroom.

“Uh-huh.” you nod, shyly.

“Say it, then. Tell daddy you want your pretty pussy ate ‘n I will. Might even let you cum if you ask me sweet enough.” he tells you. You gulp, it’s so sweet and little and so you. You are so confident at university. Megumi can hardly believe you’re so shy in your sex life.

“P-Please would you eat my… m-my… please eat my pussy, daddy.” you stammer. He kisses you, hard, proud of your begging little voice as you find the courage to request this of him. He praises you, endlessly, as he begins to kiss down your body until his head is between your thighs. His arms hook around your legs to keep you in place and your fingers lace through his hair.

You’re so close from being edged for so damn long, you know his perfectly pointed tongue circling your puffy clit will be your undoing. But he doesn’t want you to cum yet. And as much as you’d enjoy the feeling of it, you don’t either. There is more money to be made, after all.

He brings you to that edge once again before retracting his tongue from you. You practically throw a tantrum as you writhe around on the bed, desperately searching for some form of reprieve. He slaps your face lightly and points his fingers between your eyes to gain your attention.

“None of that. No fuckin’ bratting on my watch, sweetheart.” he tells you. You gulp again, nodding in agreement. “Ride my face.” he commands as he spanks your ass lightly, compelling you to move so that you can switch positions.

You look ethereal as you use Toji’s face as your throne to bring along your crushing demise. By this point, Megumi couldn’t help but tease the tip of his sticky member. Why couldn’t it be him? For fuck sake, he’d give anything to be his dad right now.

You’re devastated yet again when you’re pushed away from Toji’s face before you can finish. You wonder if he’ll ever let you cum. But he decides it’s time for you to put one of your so-called expertise’s to the test. He wants his cock sucked.

He grunts and groans as your throat houses his cock comfortably. You let him fuck into your mouth and it’s perfect because you have a near non-existent gag reflex. Though your tear-stained eyes tell him that even his monstrously fat cock is a bit of a challenge for you. Megumi is repulsed but he can’t help but laugh as he thinks that is something he certainly inherited from his old man.

By the time you’re getting your tiny pussy fucked within an inch of your life, Megumi is fucking his fist furiously in time with his dad’s thrusts. He loses his steam every now and then when he thinks about how fucked up this is. But he can’t seem to care when you’re moaning and crying and begging. For what? You aren’t sure. Because you can’t voice anything other than cries of daddy daddy daddy!

“G-Gonna cum, daddy! Can I? Can I fucking cum please please please!”

“Yes you fucking can. Go on, show everyone how a good slut cums for her daddy.” he instructs.

Your heart goes a mile a minute and your pussy clamps around him furiously. He moans deliciously into your ear as he cums right along with you, emptying his balls into your unprotected pussy.

You shudder and shake as the aftershocks of the extended orgasm wracks your body. He kisses you, gently, praising you for doing such a good job. Took him and his edging like a champion. It’s almost impossible to stomach the thought of saying goodbye to everyone and signing off as you lie against his sweaty body with his cum spilling out of your cunt. He’s smart enough to know you won’t be able to stand on your own for a little while, so he takes the liberty of signing off for you. He hypes you up to everyone, telling them how good your pussy feels and what a superstar you are. Your subscribers climb like crazy and finally, you wave and thank everyone for coming. Toji ends the stream, sorting everything out so you don’t have to worry about it.

The post orgasm bliss wears off almost instantly for Megumi as he lays in bed with his cum painted across his abdomen. How will he face you tomorrow? Should he tell you that he watched? He definitely won’t mention that he jerked off to it. Part of him feels as though he owes it to you to tell you who your scene partner was. But for now, all he can think about it cleaning himself off and going to sleep.

Things will be clearer tomorrow.

“I’m gonna run us a bath, babe. Gonna take good care of you.” Toji tells you, lying by your side and playing with your hair until you’re almost asleep.

“Think ‘m in love with you,” you giggle looking into his dazzling jade green eyes. He leans down, kissing your lips softly before getting up to do as he promised he would.

“I get it. Happens all the time.” he teases back before turning the hot water tap on full blast. He returns, scooping you up in his arms and rocking you softly in his hold. “You were amazing. I’d love to do it again sometime, anytime you want just let me know.”

“I—”

“Yeah? What is it?” he wonders, a look of concern flashing across his face as he awaits your response.

“I’m so tired, it doesn’t matter ‘m bein’ stupid.” you shake off, but he tuts your comment away and insists you tell him what’s on your mind. “S’embarrassing… but, um, I’ve had a crush on you for, like, ever. ‘m sorry I feel so… dumb.”

“Not dumb, don’t say that. What are you gettin’ at? Wanna be my little girlfriend, hm? I like this gig too much babe, don’t wanna quit just yet.” he explains, and you nod agreeing with his sentiment.

“I don’t wanna quit either… told you it’s stupid.” you finish.

“Stop. That. Now.” he commands, stunning you into silence as he thinks about what he wants to say. You’d been in contact with Toji for a while before tonight. The way he talked to you always set your heart ablaze and had you kicking your feet as you read his text messages. His buttery voice warmed your insides and you aren’t ashamed to admit you’ve masturbated to plenty of his videos and felt no shame in telling him so. There’s a real connection between you, you’re sure of it. And tonight, getting fucked like that, has made you realise that you want him forever. “So we’ll… keep doing our jobs but be together. Okay?”

“What about… scene partners?”

“Gonna get jealous, princess?”

“I mean, p-probably…”

“Won’t fuck anyone else but you, then. We’ll fuck each other on streams and no one else. Deal?”

“Deal.” you smile, letting Toji carry you in the direction of your bathroom so that you can both clean yourselves up.

Megumi can’t sleep. He just has a horrible feeling that’s nagging at him and keeping him awake. He thinks it means he has to tell you who Toji is, tomorrow, whether you hate him for it or not. It’s giving him butterflies. It’s making him sick. But that can’t be all it is… surely.

Why does he feel like you’ve made a deal with the devil?

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 2 years ago

Text

DADDY ISSUES - Part Thirteen: Hot Girl Bummer

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: After being gone for nearly three weeks, Elvis is returning from his US tour. You've never been more excited to see someone but something is different. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: mentions of violence and guns, mentions of drugs, sexual themes, pain as a result of sex, sexual shame, angst

Rating: M || Word Count: 8072 (oops 😅 )

A/N: It's really important y'all read this because this chapter is heavy, with a capital H. It does contain some serious sexual themes that may be triggering to some readers. It's a very short section (700 words) and I've marked a place where you can skip that content if you wish. I don't want any of y'all to have to read something you don't want to see or experience, so please pay attention to that as you're reading. While it definitely drives home the unfortunate changes in E + Reader's relationship, you do not have to read it to understand the plot. It's solely here to demonstrate how far both characters have fallen.

I also hope I didn't scare you off cause it's not like a graphic depiction of sa or anything! I'm honestly not even sure it needs this much of a warning, but better safe than sorry! It's just a little more intense than the smut I usually write and I really want to make sure you guys stay safe and aren't triggered when you read my writing.

I love you and stay safe out there!! :) 💕

Song Rec: hot girl bummer - blackbear

This is Part 13 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

As you move to cross off your calendar with a big red X, you realize that Elvis has been gone for fifteen days. The worst fifteen days of your life.

After spending the night with Elvis, you’d woken up to an empty bed and empty room. You slept soundly through the entire night, not waking or dreaming one time that you could remember. You also couldn’t remember being that well rested in a long while. With a yawn, you stretched out before climbing out of bed and wrapping yourself in a blanket.

“Elvis?” you asked, although the cold silence of the hotel room gave away the fact that Elvis wasn't there.

When you padded into the kitchen, you found a note on the dining table.

Princess, I’m sorry to leave this way but we had to get going early this morning if we’re gonna make it all the way to Tennessee in time for the first show. I hope you enjoy your time off and I’ll see you in a few weeks. Take care of yourself and be ready for me when I get back. I’lll make up for all the time we missed out on. Here’s a number you can reach me at if you need anything. Or you can always call Jerry. D

Fifteen days later and you find yourself re-reading the note again. During his absence, your goal has been to refresh yourself, do some self-care, spend time with friends, and just enjoy some decompression time. But nothing has gone according to plan. The very first night spent without him ended with you, wasted and sobbing, getting sick into the toilet in your bathroom. Consequently, you spent the next day recovering from a nasty hangover. And the days after that were spent lounging around doing nothing but watching daytime television and reading magazines while you snacked.

You’ve been too embarrassed to reach out to Max and your other friends since you basically ditched them all for Elvis. Life feels so boring without him and whenever you do manage to get out and do an activity of some kind, you find yourself distracted by wishes that he were there to enjoy it with you. You considered returning home to LA for a while but, to be honest, you don’t have the energy to pack up and travel back. Plus, it’s been a while since you talked to Trixie. You never managed to call her back after she saw you on the magazine cover, which means you haven’t talked for several months. She’s called you a few times since then but you somehow always seem to be on your way out or too busy to answer. Now, it’s been so long that you’re too ashamed to answer.

Stuck at the hotel, everything reminds you of Elvis. His absence feels like an entire chunk of your life has been erased. Of course, you’re extremely proud of him and happy that he’s at least able to travel, if not internationally. You really do want him to enjoy his tour and all that but…fighting boredom isn’t the only reason you need him to come back.

Last night, one of the hotel staff brought up a massive stack of envelopes, many of them stamped with big terrifying red letters reading PAST DUE. You read through them all. Several threatened legal action if you didn’t pay back your debt or pay off your bills soon. Your gut reaction was to completely lose it and freak the fuck out, wondering how the hell you’re going to pay for it all. Then, of course, you remembered what your life is and what you “do” for a living.

You took a few moments to compose yourself before giving a call to Elvis at the number he’d left for you. No answer. You called again a few hours later and again this morning. No one ever answered. Next, you tried Jerry who answered and promised you that he’d relay the message. Something in his voice sounded off, distracted. You aren’t totally sure you trust him. It doesn’t matter anyway since, according to one of the letters, you have less than one week to pay your bill or you’ll be contacted by authorities of some kind. Elvis won't be back by then.

It’s not that you’re ungrateful. In fact, you are are very, very thankful for everything Elvis has given you and done for you. But this is a serious problem. If your bills aren’t paid…you shudder to think what might happen. Not to mention that these payments are probably only past due because you’ve moved all the way out to Las Vegas and forgotten to change your billing address. The companies probably sent the bills all the way over to Trixie in LA.

As these realizations begin to hit you, guilt and repentance swim around in your stomach. That’s why Trixie has been calling you. She was trying to get ahold of you to tell you that your bills were piling up. Now, you wish you would have answered. And then you feel even worse, knowing that you should have answered anyway, even if the call wasn’t an urgent warning regarding your financial stability.

Since Elvis won’t be back for another week, you’ll have to find some way to pay it yourself if you can’t get ahold of him. You’re starting to grow desperate and concerned. After trying the number Elvis left for the third time today and receiving no answer, you have enough panicked courage to finally call Trixie back. You sit, frozen, for about twenty minutes while the phone buzzes on the line as it waits for you to punch in the numbers. You anxiously twist the phone cord in your fingers as you wait for her to answer, hoping and praying that she’s at home and not busy. Finally, the line clicks on.

“Hello?” Trixie’s familiar, sweet voice chimes in.

“Trix! Oh my god, I’m so glad you answered! It’s me, Y/N!” you say excitedly, smiling as you grip the phone against your ear.

You’re greeted by silence and wait for several seconds until you start to wonder if you’ve been disconnected.

“Oh…hello,” she finally replies.

“Hi, um…sorry I’ve been distant lately. It’s been kind of crazy around here.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure.”

“Right…” you say awkwardly. Your palms are starting to sweat and you’re wondering if this is a terrible idea. “So, how are things at home? How are you?”

“I broke up with my boyfriend so not great.”

“Oh?” your eyebrows furrow. You didn’t even know she had a boyfriend… “I’m sorry. I didn’t know-”

“Yeah, you didn’t. Maybe if you’d ever bothered to return my calls you would have known. Or you could have answered them in the first place. Any of the five million times I’ve tried you.”

“Uh…” you stammer. You know she’s right but aren’t sure what you can say in response. You don’t need to worry about it, though, because she continues before you have a chance to say anything else.

“I’ve called you thirty-five times since the last time we talked, you know. We haven’t talked in seven months.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you fall into the chair by the phone, shocked. It can’t have been seven months….right?

“Oh…I-”

“Yeah. Have you even been paying attention? To anything other than yourself for the past seven months? It actually doesn’t even matter because I’ve been calling you to let you know that you have bills piling up here. You owe a lot of money to a lot of people and some of these are from several months ago. I tried to send them to you but I never knew if they went through because I couldn’t get ahold of you. Cause, you know, you stopped answering your phone.”

Silence falls as your brain tangles itself around trying to figure out what to say in response.

“Well, that’s actually why I called you…I was wondering if you might be able to,” you pause and gulp, wincing at the thought of what you have to do. “…lend me some money to help with them. I…”

You fade out as you immediately start to regret asking her to bail you out again. What right do you have to ask her this? After you’ve ignored her completely for the past, apparently, seven months?

“No, please, tell me,” she spits into the phone. “How’s it going up there? Daddy’s forgotten to pay your bills?”

You scoff. You can’t explain why, but her bringing up Elvis just makes your blood start to boil.

“Listen, Trixie, I’m sure it’s just a mix up. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls but-”

“What? You were too busy fucking a celebrity to talk to your best friend? The person who gave you somewhere to live for a year when you didn’t have anywhere else? The person who barely knew you at all and still welcomed you into her home, paid for your room and board, cooked for you, was literally your only friend. Y/N, I don’t know who you’ve become over the last seven months. I haven’t even gotten to talk to you, so how would I know. But I just don’t care to know anymore. I’m tired of waiting around to see if you’re actually going to talk to me. It sounds like you’re doing great up there. I saw you and Elvis on a magazine again a few weeks ago at some Vegas club or something. Really nice. I hope you’re enjoying yourself up there and good luck with your bills. I don’t think we should speak anymore. In fact, I’d prefer it if we didn’t.”

“Trixie! I….what? No! Wait, Trixie-”

“Sorry, but I can’t waste my time on someone who so clearly doesn’t care about me.”

The click that sounds when Trixie hangs up the phone is final and harsh. You frantically tap at the receiver, hoping that you’ve just lost each other, even though you know the truth is that she hung up on you. Completely and totally deflated, you put the receiver down and shuffle into your bedroom.

You have to do something about this and fast, probably without Elvis' help, unfortunately. Your eyes sadly trace the faded walls of the apartment that's now dirty, dusty, and not nearly as chic as it was when you moved in. You suddenly sit up straight when your eyes land on the diamond choker sitting on top of its velvet box. You stand up and walk over to it, reaching out to hold it in your fingers. You heave a deep breath, knowing what you have to do.

At least Elvis is returning soon…

─────

When Elvis flight finally lands, you get a call from Jerry letting you know that he’s back and wants to see you tonight. You can barely contain your excitement as you throw your magazine to the side and the bag of chips you’ve been snacking on all day. You take a shower and change into a brand new sexy black dress with Elvis’ favorite pair of deep red lingerie underneath. At the appointed time, you leave the apartment and make your way upstairs to his room. You take a deep breath and smile before sticking your key into the door and pushing through.

“Hi there,” you say, smiling widely as you step into the room.

Your smile quickly drops as your eyes land on the Colonel. Elvis lifts his head and your heart pangs at the noticeable bags under his eyes and disheveled hair. You glance over at the Colonel, who is glaring at you with a cigar between his fat lips.

“And what do you think you’re doin?” he asks, waddling over to you. “Just bargin into Mr. Presley’s room like this.”

“Mr. Presley asked for me,” you say coldly.

“Mr. Presley is in a business meeting,” he replies, blowing smoke in your face just as he’d done before. This time, you wave a hand between you to dispel it.

“Mr. Presley scheduled a business meeting with me at this time,” you respond, staring directly into his eyes. God, you really hate this man. “So I guess that means your time is up. Have a lovely day, Colonel.”

He sticks the cigar between his teeth and glances back at Elvis, who’s sitting lazily on the couch with his eyes half-closed. You peer around the Colonel and your eyebrows knit together. Your daddy doesn’t look well. The Colonel leans in closer to you and you glare at him, disgusted.

“You better watch yourself, little girl,” he growls, flicking some ash from his cigar onto the floor. “If you know what’s good for you.”

With that, he manuevers around you and exits the room. You watch over your shoulder with distaste as he shuts the door behind him. He’s up to something and he’s dangerous. You’ve always disliked him but now you know he’s more of an ass that you originally thought. Shaking your head, you recenter your attention on Elvis.

“Hi daddy,” you say with a smile.

“Hello,” Elvis replies dryly, his expression unchanging.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” you say with a chuckle, tilting your head in the direction the Colonel left.

Elvis doesn’t respond. Your smile falters a little but you don’t lose hope just yet. After stepping further into the room, you prop yourself on the arm of the couch.

“So did you miss me?”

He doesn’t respond, clearly involved in reading a letter or something that he's holding in his hand.

“Daddy, did you miss me?” you repeat. No response again. You raise your voice. “Mr. Presley!”

“What? Oh, sorry, baby,” he says in a speech that’s almost slurred. He turns this time, although still neglects to lift his gaze to yours. You take a deep breath.

“Did you miss me?”

“Uh, yeah sure. Course I did,” he glances up at you as he sorts through his mail, shaking his head dismissively.

“Okay…well I missed you. A lot,” you say, sliding down next to him and threading your arms around his torso.

He barely reacts and, then a few seconds later, gently removes your arms from around his body. You gulp as you feel your heart starting to drop. You decide to stop messing around and just get to the point.

“Okay well, do you want me tonight or not?” you ask bluntly, placing your hands on your hips.

“Yeah, sure thing. I'm just gonna shower first,” he says, throwing you a tight-lipped smile.

He makes his way into the bathroom before you even have a chance to protest. You’re left, standing confusedly in the middle of the couch with your hands outstretched and mouth hanging open. With a deep sigh, you wander over into the bedroom and notice the stack of mail that Elvis carried in there with him. You sneak a little peek at what’s there. As you sort through it, you notice another receipt for Elvis Presley Enterprises. Glancing around the corner to make sure that Elvis is inside the shower, you then turn to the envelope and pull out the thin piece of paper to read.

Again, you see that EP Enterprises has paid over 50% of the total cost to the Colonel and for several other things that seem unnecessary. As your eyes hit the bottom of the receipt, you still don’t see any payments being made to you or any of the government or company agencies that you owe money to. Your mind flashes back to the very first time Elvis suggested this arrangement to you, what he said about paying your bills. That you wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Either he lied or something else is going on here. You think, too, about the Colonel’s threat. You better watch yourself, little girl. If you know what’s good for you. That man doesn’t scare you by any means. But he is starting to seriously piss you off. He has to be behind this. You just know it.

You hear the shower click off and clutch the paper tighter in your hands, wandering over toward the bed and taking a seat on it. After what feels like a lifetime of waiting, Elvis comes out from the shower with a towel around his waist. Although he hasn’t even been gone for a month, you can see the changes in his face and body. He looks disheveled, probably just tired from all the work and constant performances. But his stomach is rounder than it was, his face drawn, his hair long and unkempt. As you stare at him, you start to wonder if you’re looking at the same man you’ve known.

“Um, Mr. Presley,” you say.

Your eyebrows furrow as you watch him pop more pills into his mouth and down them with a glass of water. You resist the urge to say something about how many he’s taking; what do you know, anyway? You’re not a doctor. He glances over at you and hums in response.

“Could we…talk about something?” you ask nervously, clutching harder onto the receipt.

“Yeah. What’s up, sugar?” he asks, making his way toward the bed and sitting down next to you.

You turn toward him.

“Well it’s just that, uh…I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I received a stack of bills in the mail the other day. It was a big stack and they were all past due. When you first proposed the arrangement to me, you said that you’d be happy to pay my bills for me and Jerry also said that-”

“Whatcha got there?” he gestures to the crumpled piece of paper in your fingers and you crunch it tighter, suddenly realizing that you probably shouldn’t be reading your sugar daddy’s mail without his knowledge or permission.

“Nothing, just a tissue. Anyway, I just-”

“I’ll take care of it. Make me a list of what and how much and I’ll make sure it gets done. It was supposed to have been taken care of already,” he says, his eyebrows furrowing and his tongue running over his teeth.

“A-are you sure? I noticed that-”

“Done,” he says resolutely and you clamp your lips together.

You guess it’s none of your business, his financial decisions. Plus, he probably knows already anyway. Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like the Colonel is some distant man who never sees Elvis in person. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you know very well by now. You clutch the receipt in your fingers.

“Thank you,” you say quietly.

“Not a problem, doll. Hey, we can get to it in a few minutes. I just need a rest real quick.”

“Don’t you even worry, big daddy,” you say with a smile, your insides starting to churn with excitement at the thought of getting down and dirty with him again. You’ve missed it so, so much. His sounds, his approval, his touch. “You just lay back and I’ll take care of everything.”

He lays back and you hop off the bed, lifting your top from your frame. With one finger nestled underneath your bra, you freeze as you realize that he’s deep asleep. His mouth is open, a thin line of drool already starting to trickle out. He’s also snoring loudly. You sigh and shake your head, confused by this new Elvis. He seems totally different, utterly disinterested. You assume again that he’s just tired from traveling and performing fifteen shows in as many days. At least, that’s what you desperately hope.

Unfortunately, you soon find out that he’s not just tired. He’s changed.

Over the next several months, you start to notice a number of Elvis’ bad habits growing exponentially worse Most frustrating among them being the drugs. It seems like almost every time you see Elvis nowadays, he’s popping one pill or another. When you meet him in the dressing room or in his room upstairs, he hardly even seems awake sometimes. You tried to be optimistic at the beginning, prompting him to take care of himself. You encouraged him not to take so many pills or to skip a show and give himself some rest. But he’s refused to listen to anything you have to say.

The sex has become unbearly boring and standard, even worse than it was in the beginning. He moves so much slower than he used to. It barely takes any effort on your part to make him finish anymore. You rarely find yourself interested in the sex and more often than not, you have to finish yourself off in the bathroom alone. Sometimes, he barely does anything and expects you to ride him to completion, after which he just falls asleep. Every time, you tuck him in and give him a kiss on the forehead, hoping one time he’ll somehow notice. And then you’ll see a glimmer of the man you used to know, the one you had grown so fond of.

But he never does.

He still buys you expensive gifts and, for a while, you didn't receive any more past due bills, so you figured he took care of your debt, which, of course, you appreciate. But you get to see him less and less these days. One night, when you’re tidying up his room, which tends to get very messy very often now, you discover a bra that doesn’t belong to you. You finally have to face the reality that he’s seeing other women.

As you’ve hashed over a thousand times, you know you’re not exclusive and with his lifestyle and the arrangement you agreed to, you never could be. But still…your heart wants something you just can’t have. Sometimes it feels like you’re starving for his attention, like your life has no meaning without him in it. But your whole relationship has become one giant business transaction with no meaning and no emotion.

When you started feeling even more isolated than the three weeks he was gone for the US tour, you found yourself returning to the backstage area as you tried to make other social connections. Or rekindle the ones you flushed down the toilet.

After several weeks, you finally managed to run into Max. You approached him with a big smile on your face and a friendly wave, but he hadn’t care one bit. He met you with a flat face and cold exterior. When you asked him how things were going, he responded with silence. Then he very emphatically and very bluntly told you that he wants nothing to do with you and none of the people in his circle do either. He went on a long rant about how he never actually knew you, about how you led him on and then dropped him like he was nothing. And he finally answered your long-wondered question. He always knew that your entire purpose there was to fuck Elvis. He’d left you standing still, frozen with guilt and shame, in the backstage hallway.

You also tried Trixie more than several times. And every time the phone rang and rang and rang with no answer. You don’t even know how she knows its you but she always seems to know. The singular time she picked up, she also hung up before you even had the chance to apologize.

In the last month, you’ve also started receiving past due statements again and you’ve never been more frustrated. Whenever you try to bring it up to Elvis, he just assures you that it’s being taken care of. To be quite honest, you don’t know that he even has the mental capacity to have it taken care of adequately anymore. And you’re sure the Colonel just tells him whatever he wants to hear, anyway.

Just six months after returning from the first US tour, Elvis informs you he will be leaving again for another one. The night before his departure, Jerry hand delivers a letter that explains everything. You sigh and shake your head.

“He couldn’t even have walked down here to tell me himself?” you ask, shaking your head.

Jerry just shrugs and shoots you a pitying look.

“Could I come in?” he asks and you shrug, opening the door wider for him. You sit on the couch together in silence for several minutes until he speaks.

“I’m sorry. I know he’s different,” Jerry says, gently taking your arm. “You can leave at any time, you know. You don’t have to stay here. I know it probably hasn’t been what you expected and it’s been…difficult for all of us to watch what’s happening to him. I don’t…know how to help him.”

“I’m glad it’s not just me who’s noticed. What’s wrong with him? He used to be so warm and loving and now…it’s like a different person came back in his place. The drugs, the girls, the guns…it’s all so-”

“I know. I think it’s the stress, the pressure. He has an addiction to performing, to being onstage, to being loved by the masses. The Colonel has him doing all these damn shows, these tours that are unhealthy and too busy, and Elvis just won’t listen to a thing I say.”

You nod.

“Did you know the Colonel takes 50% of Elvis’ earnings?”

“Yeah, I did. But how do you know about that?” he quirks an eyebrow at you.

“I’ve been sneaking peeks at his receipts. How is that legal?”

“Unfortunately, totally legal. Elvis signed his life away when he was 21. He didn’t know any better and things were different back then. Y/N, the Colonel is…a dangerous man. You cannot tell anyone about this, but…I’m looking into his background now. I’m very interested to see what I might find.”

“Jerry,” you start, unsure whether to continue, “I have a question. Elvis told me that he’s been paying my bills and my debts. But a few months ago I got past due statements. They went away for a while but I’ve started getting them again. Is it possible that Elvis doesn’t know where his own money is going?”

“Possible? I think it’s probable. His father’s the business manager but Vernon has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He’s completely overmatched in every way. He went to jail for tax fraud for god’s sake. Hey, I’ll look into it for you. I think it’s likely that the Colonel has been stopping those payments from going through.”

You nod.

“Yeah, I don’t think he likes me very much. I think he actually threatened me a while back,” you say.

“What did he say?”

“I don’t really remember, honestly. Something about ‘watching myself if I know what’s good for me.’”

Jerry nods, rubbing his fingers along his chin. You glance over at him and your eyebrows raise. You’ve never really paid attention to how handsome he is. You always knew, of course, that he’s good looking but…

You chat for a little while longer. You start to tell him about your struggles, the loneliness and the anxiety. Your weekly breakdowns triggered by the fact that you have no friends, no steady income that you can be sure of, and no romantic interests that make you feel good about yourself.

“I’m always here for you,” Jerry says, leaning forward and taking ahold of your hands. He squeezes them. “You know that, right?”

“Thanks, Jerry. You have no idea how much you’ve meant to me during this whole crazy thing,” you say, squeezing his fingers back. “I could never have done this without your support.”

His eyes flick down to your hand and the corner of his mouth quirks up in a small smile. You pull away and he gets ready to leave so he can finish up the rest of his work for the day.

Once Jerry is gone, you don’t know what to do with yourself other than flop on the couch and try not to have yet another breakdown out about your dwindling funds.

The next three weeks move slower than molasses as you pass your time with lots of sleep and not much of anything else. Elvis and Jerry are both gone on the second US tour. You manage to finish three novels and catch several movies at the theatre…by yourself. You don’t have the energy or social battery to even bother trying to make friends in Vegas anymore and all you really want is to go back home to Los Angeles. Back to when you were safe, happy, and healthy living with your best friend and in charge of your own schedule. As you lazily glance at the calendar, your head snaps up and you smile. Today is…

You pick up the phone and dial a number that you hope still belongs to the same person.

“Steve?” you ask when the line clicks on.

“This is he. May I ask who I’m speaking to?” your cousin’s familiar voice sounds on the other end of the line.

“Steve, thank god! It’s Y/N,” you say, leaning into the speaker of the telephone, as if that action will somehow give you comfort.

“Y/N! It’s so good to hear from you. I heard that you, er…took Elvis’ offer after all,” he says.

“Yeah, I did...” you reply with a gulp.

“How’s it…going?”

You pause for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and releasing it before responding.

“I’d rather not talk about it, if I’m being honest. Besides, I called to say happy birthday anyway! How are things going in Burbank? How are you doing?”

“Good, good. Sharon and I got engaged last month, actually,” he says and you can practically hear the happiness in his voice.

“Oh wow!” you respond excitedly, although you can practically feel your heart cracking into a million pieces at the thought of being so utterly alone. “That’s so great! Congratulations, Steve! When’s the wedding?”

“Seven months from Monday,” he says. “You’re invited, of course. We’re hoping to send invitations out soon but work’s been a bit busy, you know, Christmastime and all that.”

“Oh…I guess it is Christmas time, isn’t it?” you ask, the realization suddenly hitting that you’re already two weeks into December.

“Unbelievably, yeah. But enough about me. I really would like to know how you’re doing? Is…he taking care of your bills and things like he promised? I…actually came up to visit a few weeks ago but couldn’t get backstage to see him.”

“You…were here? Why didn’t you come see me? You could have stayed with me?”

“I….”

“What?”

“Well, you weren’t there?”

Your eyebrows furrow.

“No…I had to have been here. I moved here and I live here now. I haven’t left in…” your eyes widen as you think about it, “well, months. I was definitely here.”

“That’s so strange…the hotel staff told me that you were gone on a trip. I thought-”

“The hotel staff? Which hotel staff?”

“I…can’t remember, honestly. It was some big guy with a nametag on, so I assumed he was a staff member. Why do you ask?”

“Because I'd bet money that the Colonel told him to lie to you. He knows damn well that I’ve been here for the last two years. Every day for the last two years.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know…”

A few seconds of silence pass and you momentarily wonder if you’ve been disconnected before Steve speaks up again.

“Y/N, be careful up there. The Colonel’s a very bad, very dangerous man. I think he’s taking advantage of Elvis and I’d hate to think that he’s doing the same with you. Maybe you should…”

“Should what, Steve? Please tell me.”

“Maybe you should just pack up and come home. If you’re still in that much need of money then maybe I can help you out again. I’m sure I can find something for you-”

“No, Steve, it’s alright. Everything’s fine. If I need anything, I’ll be sure to let you know. But everything’s fine, I promise.”

“If you insist. Damnit. Hey, listen Y/N, I gotta go. Apparently we’ve had a crisis at the office, but I’ll give you a call later, okay? Feel free to reach me any time. I’m here if you need anything.”

“Will do. Oh, Steve!”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course.”

And the line clicks off. You put the phone down and curl into a ball on your bed, shutting your eyes and hoping to sleep through the next five days until Elvis has returned from his second US tour.

Sure enough, five days later, you receive news from the buzz around the casino and hotel that Elvis is arriving later in the afternoon. You feel intense shame and embarrassment about the fact that your entire being feels lit up with joy and happiness when you realize that you might finally be able to be held in his arms again. Nothing in you is even interested in being fucked or pleasured at this point. All you want is to touch his face, feel the softness of his hair, be held tightly in his strong arms, so close to his chest that you can feel his heart beat against your skin.

You wait all day for a phone call or a letter or something. You receive nothing. Not a damn thing. The next night passes the same and you wonder if he’s forgotten about you. On the third day, you decide to march right up to his room and confront him. Ironically, you finally get the call that afternoon, an invitation actually, to attend the late show that evening and then visit him afterward.

With excitement unmeasurable, you get yourself ready to meet him, all dolled up in your best makeup, which you take an extra hour and extra care to do perfectly, just the way you know he likes it. You also wear his favorite pair of lingerie and his favorite black dress. At the last minute, as you’re sliding a finger into your TCB ring, you get a lurching feeling in your stomach. You look up at yourself in the mirror and hold a hand up to your throat, dragging your fingers across the bare skin. It feels like something is missing, you know exactly what. Your outfit would be complete with it.

With a disappointed sigh, you make your way downstairs in perfect time for the show to start. You’re seated toward the back at a table almost in the darkness. You gulp in slight embarrassment before sitting down. While unhappy that it seems like Elvis is trying to hide you, you’re actually quite relieved to be sitting in the darkness with how you’ve chosen to dress and present yourself. Anyone passing by would probably automatically assume you’re some kind of prostitute. Isn’t that what you are, anyway? And should you feel more shame than you do?

You don’t have much time to speculate on it because the band strikes up a chord and the show starts. You smile. It’s been almost a whole year since you came down to enjoy a show. At the beginning of your residency there, you came down all the time to see his shows. But the novelty wore off quickly. The last time you attended a show was the vibrator incident...

This time, however, you actually find that you enjoy yourself quite a bit. With Elvis paying for everything, you order a full meal and a glass of wine. And without a vibrator in your panties, you can actually enjoy your meal and watch Elvis at his very best. You get to see an old version of Elvis. Not the man you'd known so intimately nor the one you’ve grown to despise over the past couple of months. This is the man you find yourself dragged toward, attracted to, entrapped by. This is the Elvis who got you to say yes so many months ago.

That is, until something happens, of course, to ruin all of that. You watch in horror as two random men from the audience run up onto the stage as if they’re going to attack Elvis. You jump out of your seat, your fingers flying up to your mouth as you watch, unable to do anything from where you’re seated. Luckily, they seem to just be overexcited fans. But you can’t help but notice Elvis reach into the tops of his boots for something, something you’ve definitely noticed he sneaks into his boots before he goes onstage. The guns. “Protection,” as he’d called it.

The two men are escorted out, walked right past your table. But you hardly even notice them. Your attention is held firmly on Elvis as his wild eyes fly around the stage and the audience. Your heart is pounding in your chest with adrenaline and fear. You reach up to feel it beat against your breast and feel overwhelmed by the sensation. Elvis stumbles around onstage, his face shadowed so that it appears hollow and haunted and…evil. He looks erratic, terrified and wrathful at the same time.

The reality of what could have happened hits you. You fall back into your seat as your chest starts to heave. Elvis could have died…been shot onstage. Suddenly, you’re thrown back to 1968 when you all watched Bobby Kennedy die on national television. All the fear from that moment, from watching someone’s life drain from their body, it all returns to you.

The show comes to an abrupt end when they escort Elvis offstage. You stand, grabbing your purse, and make your way toward the door where Stanley the security guard always stands. As soon as you approach, he holds up a hand telling you to stop.

“I’m sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but we’re not allowing anyone backstage right now. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait. It’s probably a good idea for you to return to your room for the evening. If Mr. Presley wants to see you, I’m sure he’ll call,” Stanley mumbles, offering a small smile.

“Thanks Stanley,” you say and return the expression. “Will you just tell him that I’m here for him. If he needs me, that is.”

“I'm not sure that's within my pay grade, ma'am,” he replies, but he must have noticed your panicked expression because he adds, "But I'll certainly do what I can."

With a deep sigh, you make your way back upstairs to your room, where you crash on the couch and drop your head into your hands. You only have a few minutes to sulk before you get a telephone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Jerry. He’s asking for you,” Jerry says and you breathe a sigh of relief. You know Elvis hadn’t gotten hurt or anything but you are intimately familiar with how unstable his mental state is right now.

“I’ll be right up,” you say and hang up before Jerry even has a chance to say goodbye.

When you emerge from the elevator, you immediately hear raised voices, Elvis’ and a woman’s. You don’t even bother waiting to come in, desperate to see him, to know that he’s fine, that he’s okay. A flurry of emotions swirl around in your stomach. You’re angry that people would dare try to hurt Elvis, you’re angry at Elvis for being who he is, you’re frustrated that you even have to go through this, you’re terrified for his safety, you’re scared of what’s to come, and most of all, you’re griefstricken at the thought of living a life without him.

As you make your way through the massive rooms, the screaming stops. Your eyebrows raise as your gaze falls on Priscilla Presley walking straight toward you. She holds your gaze, her eyes full of anger. You don’t back down, though. Normally, you would feel awkward and guilty seeing her. But at this point, you’ve grown to become so unhappy and possessive over Elvis that you couldn’t give a flying fuck what she thinks of you. He’s unhappy with her, anyway, that’s why you exist in the first place. You raise your neck and stare her down as she passes. As she nears you, you watch as her anger quickly fades into grief, plainly displayed on her face. You know any normal person would be feeling some guilt at this moment but, in all honesty, you don’t feel anything. You don’t care.

You waltz into the room to see Elvis sitting on the bed, already half-undressed and just in a pair of boxers. You immediately approach him, dropping to your knees between his legs. You raise your hands to his face, gently brushing his hair back from his forehead. You push your thumbs into his skin to massage it a little.

“Mmm,” he hums in approval.

“Are you alright?” you whisper.

“Mhmm, just fine,” he replies.

── tw | scroll to the bottom of the post to skip ──

“Can I help, at all?” you ask in your most seductive tone, stepping in front of him and running your hands smoothly down his chest.

In all honesty, you don’t really want to have sex. You aren't feeling very sexy right now at all. But you can tell that he needs it, needs something. You wouldn’t go as far as to say that he needs you but…he needs something that you believe you can provide. He lifts his blue eyes to yours, they’re more grey these days except for when he’s onstage performing. He doesn’t react, but you can see in his eyes that he wants it. You gently push him back onto the bed, climbing on top of him and starting to press kisses to his hot skin. He barely moves, allowing you to manipulate him easily.

He’s still sweaty from being onstage but you don’t mind. You’re used to it at this point and besides, it’s sexy as hell. You kiss down his neck, dragging your lips between pressing them down. You trail down his chest onto his stomach.

When your finger hooks into the waistband of his underwear, he jerks to life. His fingers curl around your arms and he pulls you up and then spins you around, shoving the top half of your body down on the bed, a little harshly but not it's not painful. You assume the familiar position, arching your back and cooperating to step through your panties as he pulls them off. He slides the fabric of your dress out of the way and you wait patiently until he slides into your folds.

You wince and clutch onto the sheets on the bed. You’re drier than normal. You're far too emotional to get wet enough, even with Elvis Presley behind you. He doesn’t seem to notice or care, though, because he starts to pump in and out of you mercilessly. You bury your head into the sheets, biting and tugging on the fabric as he slides in and out of you.

The air is silent aside from the sounds of your skin slapping together and Elvis’ quiet groans. As he drills into you, you can feel yourself loosening up just a tad. You release a few strained moans from the combination of pain and pleasure. The friction isn't very enjoyable but you remind yourself that this is your job, this is what you are to him. That this can help you, too.

His speed increases and you feel a tear slipping out of your eye, but whether it’s from the pain or the emotion, you aren’t sure. His fingers grip into your hair, pulling your head up. You experience a moment of relief and moan loudly. You want so badly for this to feel good.

You tilt your head to the side and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Before, you loved the way you looked in the mirror as he was fucking you. You were so turned on, so desperate for him, so fucked out. Now, you just look worn, sullen. Used. You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to face what you are. A slave to his sex. And now a slave to him.

Finally, you feel warmth flood your insides as Elvis finishes himself off. You twitch as you realize he's finished inside of you. He's never done that before. He grunts and leans over, his body weight pressing onto your back. When he rests his forehead between your shoulder blades, you feel your face screw up in grief. It’s so cheap, so pathetic, to grasp at this one moment of intimacy. But you do, all the same. He only remains there for a few moments before removing himself and going immediately into the bathroom. You remain in position until you hear the door shut and then fall over on your side.

Your shoulders begin to shake and you cry silently. Tears stream down your face, stinging your cheeks. When you pull yourself to sit up, you wince at the soreness of your heat. You reach down to touch yourself and bring a finger up. It's covered in a thick layer of Elvis' cum. The sight makes you both proud and ashamed, joyous and devastated. You invited him to do it and you don’t regret it. But...

───── tw ─────

You miss the man you used to know, the strong, passionate one you had fights with. The one who knew what he wanted, who he was, what you wanted. The one who cared, who took an interest in you, who had fun. This wasn’t sex between two people who wanted it. This was sex between an object and someone who just needed to feel something.

Your eyes lazily drift over to the framed picture of Lisa Marie and you think through everything that's happening. You wipe your tears away and sniff. Filled with intense rage, you stand and slam the picture face-first down onto the nightstand. You don’t want to see her. You don’t want her to see this. Why does she have to exist anyway? You stand with clenched fists, facing what you’ve done as your chest heaves. Suddenly, you’re filled with fear and panic. You kneel down and pick up the frame to see that the glass has shattered in a few spots.

“No, no, no,” you say as the tears start to steam down your face again.

You shakily lift some of the glass shards and attempt to piece them back together but it’s no use. You drop your head and the glass but not before one of the shards slices a small pinhole prick in your finger. Biting your lip in pain, you press your wounded finger to your chest and crawl back into the bed. You don’t even bother to tuck yourself in. You curl up into a ball and squeeze your eyes shut, hoping for sleep to take you away as soon as possible for as long as possible.

After a few minutes, you hear rummaging from the bathroom as Elvis comes back out. You don’t react when he touches you softly, so much softer than he was when he was fucking you fifteen minutes ago. You feel a warm, soft rag being drug over your body, cleaning up any bodily fluids that he’d left on you. You convulse when he hits your sore folds and he stops immediately, massaging his fingers into your shoulder. He doesn’t apologize, but gently, so so gently, presses the wet rag against you, dabbing up anything that might be leaking out.

Then, he’s gone again, only for a few seconds. When he returns, he gently lifts your legs and pulls the covers out from under them and then over your body. He tucks you in and then climbs in behind you, wrapping his warm arms around you. Normally, you would find this comforting and you’d be practically begging for this. But tonight, not so much. You really just want to be left alone, to vanish in thin air, to dissolve into nothing.

“You alright, baby?” he whispers, gently stroking your hair out of the way.

You squeeze your eyes tighter, not having the strength to respond. You hope he’ll just figure that you’re asleep. He sighs and gently strokes his knuckle down your cheek, pausing by your jaw. You feel him push his head against your neck and then the shudders of his body as he cries quietly. You feel your own tears slipping from your eyes, staining your cheeks with cold streaks of liquid. The last thought of the night is spent wondering how you both could have fallen so far.

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

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halstudandruz · 4 years ago

Text

Gentleman in the Streets, Freak in the Sheets (NSFW)

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Kelly gets fed up when you tease him at work all shift (Dominate, kinda rough Kelly smut)

Warnings: Smut (18+), daddy kink, breeding kink¿, swearing

A/N: Anyone else find the gif incredibly sexy? Also, proof skimmed at 4am so don’t judge typos 😅

It was a quiet day in the firehouse. Ambulance 61 only running a few calls and everyone else passing the time by running drills or checking equipment. You had offered to make dinner, wanting to give Ritter and Gallo a break for once. You were far from a candidate, but you weren’t “all in” on the candidate hazing per say. They needed a break every once in a while too. Especially when trying to cook three meals a day for the pickiest men in Chicago. You were trying to decide how to marinate the chicken when your boyfriend walked into the lounge headed straight for the kitchen.

“You cooking tonight?” He asked when he spotted you in front of the stove. Watching you nod, he chuckled.

“You know we have candidates for that.” He teased.

“Yeah yeah I know, I also don’t care.” You retorted, having already had this talk before. “Hey! What are you doing?” You scolded as you watched him open up a cupboard digging through it.

“Getting chips.” He answered, nonchalantly.

“I’m making food!” You reminded him.

“And I will eat it, but I need something to hold me off in the meantime.” He replied, rolling your eyes, you turned back to the task. “Okay spices.” You thought out loud moving towards the cabinet Kelly was still digging through. Registering in your head that there was nobody else around except Mouch who was loudly snoring on the couch. Smirking you took the few steps towards your needed ingredients.

“Excuse me.” You mumbled slipping in front of Kelly where he was trying to reach something from

the back of the top shelf. Pushing yourself up on your tippy toes you attempted to grab spices off the bottom shelf, pushing your butt out to put pressure against his crotch before slowly moving back down on the heels of your feet, smiling effectively to yourself when you felt Kelly immediately tense above you swallowing a low groan, trying again and eliciting the same reaction. “I can’t reach it. Could you hand me that cayenne pepper?” You asked sweetly pointing to it, witnessing a pink tint appear across his cheeks, still pressed tightly against you, clenching his jaw when you wiggled your hips back against his. Tightly gripping the container he handed it to you. “Thank you, lieutenant.” You grinned sliding out from in front of him to make your way towards the counter. It wasn’t but two seconds before Kelly had you trapped up against the counter. Breathing heavy in your ear goosebumps traveling down your body at the warmth of his breath.

“You think you’re so sly. Such a little tease, trying to make daddy rock hard.” Kelly leaned over your back pushing his hips into your spine where you felt an obvious bulge. “You’re just giving me an invitation to bend you right over this counter and use you.” Kelly whispered into your ear as you started to chop up the celery coming centimeters away from chopping off your finger at his words. It had been a few days since you had sex and you knew you both were craving each other. When the sound of footsteps heading for you became clear he sprung away putting a respectable amount of space between the two of you.

“Is anybody making dinner around here?” Herrmann asked, appearing from the apparatus floor, Stella in tow behind him.

“Yeah, working on it.” You assured him watching Kelly retrieve a bag of chips and head towards the bunk room, cool relaxed demeanor drifting back over him. He was always better at hiding things than you, and this was likely a game you were going to lose at, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You and Kelly had dated for awhile before accepting that the pressures of the job was starting to take a toll on your relationship. In order to healthily deal with your issues separately you decided to take a break, knowing that you would likely eventually end up back together, or at least hoping so. It was hard at first especially after finding out he had had a brief fling with Stella, one of your best friends in the house, but you had gotten through it and had been back together for a couple months. Nobody else in the house knew though, except Matt who you frequently ran into every morning in his kitchen.

You had taken plenty of opportunities to tease Kelly throughout the rest of the shift. Sending him dirty texts, accidentally running into him in the shower, innocently flirting with Gallo just to get a rise.

“Oh sorry are you almost done?” You asked sweetly watching Kelly shift his clothes from the washer to the dryer.

“Be my guest.” He moved out of the way for you to move towards the washer starting to throw your clothes into it when you heard him clear his throat. Turning you cocked your head when you saw him holding one of your thongs on his pointer finger. “Oops must’ve dropped that.” You played innocently, taking it from him to drop it into the machine feeling the heat of his body crowd you.

“What has gotten into you today?” He questioned, gripping your hips.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You bit your lip blinking up at him.

“Oh so you really were just interested in Gallo’s new workout regimen?” He smirked, pushing you completely against the washer.

“Kid’s looking swole what can I say?” You giggled.

“You must really want me to take you right here, Kitten.” He shook his head, lips moving centimeters away from yours. You hummed, waiting for him to make contact, but he never did. “Say it. Tell me.” He challenged right hand moving up to your bare stomach, finger pulling at the top of your pants.

“I want you.” You admitted and you could feel him smile against your own lips.

“How bad?” He encouraged, popping the button of your pants open, fingers inching further south.

“So bad.” You assured, moaning when the pad of his finger came in contact with your clit, his mouth muting the sound. You relaxed letting the pleasure seep into your body. Whimpering when one of his fingers pushed into you. Your own fingers were nothing compared to his and it had been too long since you felt them. Bracing yourself against his chest when he added another, thrusting them in and out.

“Fuck, Kel. Someone could walk in.” You reminded him trying to keep a clear head, that was very quickly fading.

“Let them. They can watch and see how wet and desperate I make you while fingering your little pussy. Then they can imagine what I do to you with my cock.” He whispered into your ear, causing your knees to buckle below you.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out when his thumb began to flick against your clit synchronizing with his thrusts, his dirty talk was always out of this world. You felt your legs begin to shake, head falling into your boyfriend’s chest, sharp breaths coming out just as the knot unraveled in your stomach. Kelly’s free hand wrapping around your waist to steady you. He waited for you to gain control of your balance again before removing his hands away from you.

“This is far from over.” Kelly kissed your sweaty forehead before retreating leaving you a disheveled mess. You left him alone for the rest of the night knowing if you went near him you were going to cave and this time you would be sure to be caught.

You had turned a boring shift into an entertaining one and you loved watching him squirm.

Unfortunately, you hadn’t gotten much sleep having run calls almost all night, one after the other, and you were so ready to fall into your big soft bed you had even forgotten about the game you were playing with your boyfriend. Up until you walked into your apartment. Dropping your bag to the floor you kicked off your shoes barely registering Kelly close behind you until he tugged on your wrist, taking you off balance causing you to fall right into him, his hard body insistently igniting a spark within you. His hands gripped your face bringing you in for a heated kiss, one that had you leaning back against the door almost immediately.

“Mmm.” You hummed, starting to feel your body summon a second wind.

“Are you too tired? Cause we can do this later.” Kelly pulled away to ask you sincerely, palm cupping your face.

“You seem to have woken me back up.” You chuckled arms circling around his neck to pull him back down to you, tongue joining his, gripping the bottom of his shirt you broke the kiss to tug it over his head.

“Don’t worry you have me so fucking horny this isn’t gonna take long.” He laughed unbuttoning your jeans as he licked across your jaw.

“I don’t know if Matt’s gonna want to see our clothes all over the floor.” You joked, stepping out of your jeans as he pushed them down.

“I asked him to give me an hour or two.” Kelly shrugged a cocky tone in his voice causing you to roll your eyes.

“It’s his apartment too.” You pointed out, shedding yourself of your shirt and bra, as Kelly tossed his jeans to the side.

“He can come home if he wants to, he just may regret it. Which is exactly what I told him.” Kelly replied, taking two steps towards you to throw you over his shoulder.

“Kelly!” You giggled unexpectedly.

“Shh we’re on a time limit.” He smacked your ass and you could hear the smile in his voice as he walked you towards your bedroom. Dropping you at the edge of the bed quickly covering the length of your body with his capturing your breasts in his hands, mouthing at your right nipple. Before his hands moved to explore all the parts of your body. The small pleasure sending goosebumps down your body. “You’ve been teasing daddy at work all shift. What if Herrmann or Stella would’ve seen you wiggling this perfect little ass against my crotch?” Kneading it into his palms. “Would you have liked that? Showing everyone how worked up you can get me? How hard you make me just by looking at you?” Kelly growled nibbling down your neck.

“Stella maybe.” You mumbled, causing him to chuckle.

“Jealous?” He inquired.

“Possessive.” You responded, squeezing his crotch for emphasis.

“She’s got nothing on you baby girl.” He promised, picking you up enough to lay you down. higher on your bed. “You have me so pent up you know that?” He rolled his hips down on yours thin fabric covering each of you, so you could clearly feel his full bulge, a soft moan escaping your lips at the action. Kelly smirked above you at the sound.

“You want it so bad don't you? You want daddy to fill you up good huh baby girl?” He taunted fingertips running up and down your thighs. You clenched your jaw trying to keep your hips firm against the bed not wanting to give into him so easily. “Awe come on. You know you love when I talk dirty to you. You tell me all the time, and I bet if I just move my hand a little south it’ll do all the talking for you.” He teased finger snapping the waistband of your underwear“Just tell me how bad you want this cock sweetheart. How you are soaking through your panties right now just thinking about it.” He continued hand very steadily moving closer to what you knew was going to be a pool of liquid between your legs. “And I will rock your world.” He promised biting hard at your collarbone just as his fingers met your clothed center, accompanied by a loud moan involuntarily filling the room. “Would you look at that?” He brought his glistening fingers up in front of your face, but you remained quiet chewing on your lips. “Oh so that’s how we’re gonna be today?” He raised an eyebrow before backing away from you, “you can get yourself ready then, or you’re not getting any.” He commanded.

“No, wait I’m sorry come-“ You started to reach for him but he leaned farther away.

“Your choice.” He smiled widely at you.

“Whatever, fine.” You pouted, you could certainly make this as torturous for him as it was for you. Slowly sliding your panties down your legs. “Oh hey you weren’t kidding, they are soaked.” You laughed, jokingly before throwing them at Kelly’s face. Spreading your legs wide for him to see fingers grasping your nipples first rolling them between your thumb and forefingers. Hips rolling at the feeling that warmed your body. Bringing your hand up to your mouth you made a show of your lips sucking two of your fingers, tongue circling around them humming a small moan that could still be clearly heard in the room. Hand trailing leisurely down your body. You could hear Kelly’s breath hitching as your hand connected with your center purposely moaning loudly enough to fill the apartment putting pressure against your clit. Finger teasingly sliding across your own entrance before circling it again. You could feel the juices starting to drip down your legs, getting impossibly wetter at Kelly’s dark eyes watching your every move. “Oh god.” You groaned, pushing in a single finger thrusting your finger up towards your stomach. Giving more attention to your clit before adding a second finger. “Yes, fuck yes.” You breathed hips pushing down towards your palm when you curled your fingers towards your g-spot already wishing it was Kelly’s dick.

“That’s it baby, play with your wet little pussy so daddy can watch. Such a pretty cunt.” Kelly praised. You hadn’t even realized your eyes had closed shut until you had opened them met with the sight of Kelly’s hand lazily stroking his fully hard shaft.

“Daddy..please.” You begged.

“What do you want sweetheart? Tell me.” He ordered eyes locked with yours.

“You to fuck me so hard I won’t be able to walk for days.” You whined hips still desperately moving with your hand. Kelly appeared back on top of you in seconds.

“Daddy’s ready to take such a long sexually frustrating day out on your perfect little cunt.” He teased nipping your earlobe as he lightly rubbed the tip of his dick between your folds. Slowly pushing his hips forward, your pussy immediately taking him in. “God baby you’re so fucking tight. How can you be this fucking wet and still so tight?” He growled, breaths coming out heavier as he continued to move forward waiting for you to loosen up for him. Focusing on the smell of him so close to you, the quiet little growls, the warmth of his body right against you had you relaxing quickly the pain of the intrusion subsiding within seconds.

“Move Kelly.” You encouraged him, digging the heels of your feet into the bottom of his back trying to pull him even deeper.

“Ah ah ah,” Kelly grabbed ahold of your hands pinning them above your head, “you’re here for daddy’s pleasure right now kitten.” He reminded you with a slow roll of his hips causing you to whimper. His hips moving in slow deliberate circles before thrusting hard all the way in you.

“Fuck!” You screamed, head falling back into the pillows. Your legs falling wider apart when he started moving in a steady rhythm. Quickly finding your soft spot, knowing your body inside and out. “There.” You informed him in a mumble, starting to lose the ability to think, worse with each thrust. He had your arms pinned above your head, hips pounding against yours as hard as possible. Moans and slapping of skin echoing in the room. It was crazy how quickly he could get you where you needed to be. Knew exactly the angle his cock had to enter and exactly the right speed, but he definitely knew what he was doing. Slowly his thrusts as soon as he knew the knot began to build in your lower stomach. Bringing you to the edge numerous times.

“Kelly, I'm getting close.” You warned, whining even louder when his thrusts came to a stop. “Kelly fuck baby come on stop doing that.” You begged, legs beginning to shake at the continuous edging feeling the knot disappear from the pit stomach again and you wanted to cry.

“As soon as you learned to call me by the correct name you can finish.” He teased. Your brain was too clouded to form a decent sentence let alone control what was actually coming out of your mouth.

“God daddy I’m sorry I can’t help it. I can’t even think straight right now.” Your body was wiggling uncontrollably trying to get the friction moving again, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes.

“You can and you will baby.” He ordered, slowly beginning to move again.

“Daddy please just let me cum. Please. Wanna cum around your cock so bad.” You begged, likely incoherently, but he must’ve felt bad as he moved his thumb down into to contact with your clit flicking against it in time with his thrusts.

“Ahhh holy shit yes! Daddy oh my god!” You yelled limbs locking when the pleasure exploded throughout your body. Shaking slightly, sounds flowing freely from your mouth, hands entwining with Kelly’s single hand above you. Stars were still clouding your vision when you tried to open your eyes, Kelly curling himself even closer against you, his head stuffed into your neck, groans continuously accompanying each of his breaths.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m so close baby girl. So fucking close. Keep clenching that pussy for daddy. Just like that.” He coached, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm.

“I can feel you twitching babe. I can feel how close you are daddy. You gotta pull out unless you want it in me.” You warned knowing within three strokes he was gonna fill you otherwise trying to push away the multiple voices in your head that admitted you would love nothing more.

“That’s exactly what I want princess, daddy’s gonna flood this tight perfect little pussy with his hot thick cum.” He grunted out and sure enough three strokes later you felt his cock swell, muscles tensing below your hands before spurting numerous amounts of cum against your walls, the warmth lighting your body on fire even more, Kelly collapsed onto your body, during the short fast thrusts he used to work himself through. Loud groans falling from his lips. Sweat covered your bodies sticking between the two of you.

Finally catching his breath a few minutes later he slowly pulled out of you, mind clicking and coming back to reality, eyes widening when he saw the cum running out of you, “Oh my god. Oh fuck baby I’m so sorry. Shit!” He panicked, eyes flicking from the mound between your legs to your face causing you to giggle.

“It’s fine, Kel.” You reassured him reaching for tissues to attempt any clean up.

“I should’ve asked. I let myself get way too carried away. I'm so sorry.” He ran a hand down his face.

“Would you be okay with having a baby with me?” You asked him sincerely.

“Well...yeah of course. I love you.” He nodded his head.

“Then it’s fine. We’re both adults. We know the risks of sex. If we really wanted to avoid it I would suggest more than just the pull out method. Plus if I was really worried I could’ve stopped you.” You shrugged. “Not saying I want to actively try but it certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” You admitted, having kept your feelings on this exact subject at bay for a while.

“You want to have a baby with me?” He asked, shocked.

“Eventually.” You answered and he smiled.

“Could you imagine telling everyone you’re pregnant and we’ve actually been back together for months.” He laughed at the thought.

“Well thanks to your lack of self-control that might be a reality.” You joked, giving him a pointed look.

“On the brightside you’d get to call me daddy more.” He said winking as he leaned down to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

“Nobody would ever believe the things you say to me in bed.” You thought out loud.

“Gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets.” He shrugged, winking.

NSFW Taglist:

@beautiful-bunny89 @jayxhalsteadx @grettiwrites @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @malrunaway @queen-of-arda @glimmerglittergirl

#kelly severide x reader #kelly severide smut #kelly severide imagine #kelly severide #chicago fire smut #chicago fire x reader #chicago fire imagine #Chicago fire

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deanwithscissors · 4 years ago

Text

Three Months - Part 2

Title: Home Sweet Home

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 7043 (wow oops)

Warnings: Fluff, daddy ackles, swearing, angst, argument, mentions of weight loss, self harm and being used sexually, fingering, mentions of choking, rough sex, unprotected sex

Summary: A sixteen year old memory haunts [Y/N] and causes a disruption between the Ackles’

A/N: i deal with my issues by writing; hence this piece where jackles is calling me out because wow fuck i’m struggling with food rn. also i’ll be reblogging with tags later, still working on that shit lol part 1 *all mistakes are mine*

The Ackles’ took advantage of their first childless morning in months by indulging in morning sex that wasn’t interrupted by kids, shower sex without locking the door and sex against the fridge while making breakfast, which almost ended in the full evacuation of the entire condo block. Their fingers interlocked as they sat at the breakfast bar, scraps of egg was all that remained on the plate from their much needed breakfast.

“Do you remember when everyday started with sex?” Jensen asked.

“You mean when I liked mornings?” [Y/N] unintentionally snorted.

“Oh so that’s why you’re a moody bitch in the mornings now?” His tone was light and cheeky as a devilish grin painted his face.

“Wow and you’re still a dick!” She shot back. Both adults wore goofy smiles as their chuckles filled the apartment.

Fresh air tumbled in through the open balcony door, constant sounds of the city trailing in too, reminding her she wasn’t at home. On edge by the reminder she observed Jensen to ground herself. His hair was longer than it’d ever been and when he dipped his head small pieces would slip across his forehead, every time she’d put her hand through his hair and kiss him sweetly.

“You like the hair?” He asked brow softly cocked.

“It makes you look super soft.”

“You like that?”

“Mmmhmm, but I’m glad that bushy beard is gone. I did not enjoy making out with your facial hair, not to mention the oral wasn’t fun at all.”

“I still made you cum though,” he reminded her.

“Okay, it wasn’t not not fun,” she grinned timidly.

“We’ve got some time til the kids get here, I was thinking-”

“Jesus Jensen I honestly don’t think I can go again.”

“Is that all you think about Mrs Ackles?” He feigned disgust but only admiration showed in his eyes. “What I was thinking is, we could go meet some of the guys and gals,” his brows wiggled waiting for her answer.

“Oh no, I don’t think- we shouldn’t bother them on their day off,” [Y/N] replied as she hopped off the high barstool and headed for the bathroom.

“We won’t be bothering them at all,” he said following behind like a lost puppy.

“I dunno,” she shrugged.

“Oh c’mon they’re excited to meet you.”

“I know but- I just got here,” [Y/N] said halting in the hallway to glance at him.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, that’s too much. How about I just text one of them?” Jensen suggested.

“No, just leave it, I’ll meet them another time-”

“Karl’s always-”

“Noooo! Jensen don’t,” she exclaimed darting to his side, her hands instantly splayed across his chest, her wide eyes flashing with panic.

“Oh I see,” he said with a snigger. His chin hit his chest and his pupils were reduced to slits as his head tilted to the side, “you’ve got a crush.”

“What? No I don’t,” she hissed taking a step back. Her pale skin flushed pink as her core temperature rose.

“[Y/N] I’ve been with you for fifteen years, I know what you’re like when you’ve got a crush and, you’ve got a crush,” he said. Rolling her eyes hard enough to hear she turned away from him and continued towards the bathroom. “Which character?” He followed at the back of her heels.

“Shut up Ackles.”

“I’m thinking Eomer from Lord Of The Rings, ama’right?”

Halting once again, she spun with a sharp glare and icy sigh, he wouldn’t drop this. “Fine okay! Yeah I do have a crush and it’s Reaper actually so, you’re wrong.”

“From Doom?” He quizzed.

“Yeah.”

“And you said you loved that movie because of The Rock!”

“That’s true- just Reaper happens to be a character in it y’know.”

"Oh I can’t wait to tell Karl,” Jensen said like a mischievous schoolboy.

“Jensen don’t you fucking dare!” [Y/N] lowly and calmly said while her nostrils flared. “I mean it.”

“I’m just kidding,” he chuckled, displaying his palms in defence. Before she even blinked he asked “so you ever had a naughty dream about him?” [Y/N]s mouth fell open as her hand swatted his bare chest. “Right okay, okay, no more, I promise.”

“We’ve been cooped up in here for two days, lets go out, I’ll take you to the set, we can christen my trailer?” Jensen suggested later that afternoon as they sat on the sofa.

“I dunno, the kids are coming soon.” [Y/N] replied, her eyes wandering the apartment as if in search for something to do.

“All the more reason to squeeze in a little trip and more sex, god knows we won’t get much of that, if any when the kids get here.” As much as Jensen loved his kids, he missed the sex life he had with [Y/N] before they come along, barely anything was a boundary, any time or any place, maybe it wasn’t just the kids part, it was probably the getting older part too that slowed it down.

His grin was wicked and when he wiggled his brows she tumbled forward in a fit of giggles, even after fifteen years together he was still trying to seduce her. “You can go, I’ve gotta tidy up before the kids get here,” she smiled.

“I can’t christen my trailer without you, that’s not how it works and plus this place is-” he scanned the spic and span open living, dining and kitchen area, “tidier than it’s ever been now that you’re here.”

“Y’know we don’t have to christen every place,” her tone was playful with a streak of frustration hiding underneath.

“It makes it special though, y’know how lonely I get without you, I like reminders and there’s nothing better than lying in bed or sitting on the sofa where I fucked you, especially when I can still smell you.”

“Okay wow you’re gross,” her eyes rolled as she shifted.

“C’mon let me show you around, let me fuck you,” he said reaching for her arm.

“I said NO!” She ejected from his side in a flash recoiling from him grasp, glaring past their reflections in the window she glanced out at the bustling city. The once stunning blue sky had turned murky, a grey hue seeping in and taking over. As if the devil himself had slipped into the apartment and perched on [Y/N]s shoulder to casually taunt her further her shoulder leaned against the glass.

“Baby, what’s going on?” Jensen rushed to her side with slumped shoulders and bent bowlegs.

“Nothing I just- I just got here and it’s like you don’t want to spend time with me.”

“Please don’t lie to me [Y/N],” he said cupping her face with a big hand as heartbreak laced his voice. “That’s not the reason.”

She dropped her shoulders and sighed heavily. “I’m just tired and drained.”

“Probably because you’re not eating enough,” he accused harshly as the warmth from his palm ripped from her jaw.

“What?”

“You’ve lost weight.”

“I didn’t mean to I promise,” she told him honestly.

“Even if it wasn’t intentional, something’s bothering you, what is it?”

“I dunno, probably just anxiety, not seeing you for three months, this whole pandemic, the state of the world in general, the list is endless.”

“Why won’t you tell me?” He asked, brows furrowing and jaw clenching.

“Because there’s nothing to tell.”

Jensen dropped his head, pushed his tongue into his cheek and sighed. “Y’know after fifteen years together, eleven years married and three kids, I thought we told each other everything, helped each other through anything.”

“Jensen please- it’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it’s like!”

“FINE!” She screeched back, “okay, fuck-” grasping her temples and leaning against the bitter slab of glass tears pickled her eyes. “It’s Chace.”

He was knocked off balance with her answer not realising they knew each other. “What about him?”

“It’s nothing, it doesn’t matter, it happened sixteen years ago-”

“A minute ago there was nothing to tell, now there is,” Jensen barked. “Did you sleep with him?”

“What? No!”

“Because if it was before us then it really is none of my business, we’ve all got exes.”

“For gods sake I didn’t sleep with Chace!”

“Then what’s the issue?” Jensen asked exasperated.

“Taylor!” She screamed with an unintentional stomp of her foot, “it’s fucking Taylor okay?!” Dark clouds swamped the sky, the sunlight was stripped away as if it was suddenly night time and there was rumbles in the distance honing in on their position.

“What’s he got to do with Chace?” Jensens mind was boggled, his thoughts running a million miles an hour trying to connect the dots that made no sense to him. “I don’t-”

“The guys Taylor told about me,” her voice was barely a whisper. Jensen knew, well he knew there was a group of guys, not specific individuals that had taken part in mocking her sexually after Taylor had disclosed the dirty details about his sex life with [Y/N]. “Chace was one of those guys.”

Jensens brows furrowed, the wind was knocked from his lungs and a green tint tainted his face. A rush of rage boiled his blood and transformed the sickly green glow of his skin to a flustered flushed red. “You lied?”

His voice was thick, cold and sharp, piercing straight into her gut. “About what? When?” She asked surprised and angered by his accusation.

“Yesterday after you came in and fucked me.” Those words sliced through her like a chefs holy grail knife. “You said there was nothing else going on, you said it was just the stress of travelling. Why didn’t you tell me about Chace?”

“I- I, didn’t know what to say? With covid I was sure I wouldn’t be able to meet anyone really anyway-”

“I’ve been working with him FOR MONTHS!” Jensen shouted with tight fists by his sides.

“It was sixteen years ago, he probably doesn’t even remember-”

“But you do! Were you ever gonna tell me?” She opened her mouth but nothing came out. “Jesus Christ [Y/N].” Jensens hand run through his hair, then he turned on his heel and headed for the exit. “I need some time.”

The thud of the door echoed around the walls as an eery silence engulfed the apartment and her hollow heart.

With Jade holding one of Jensens hands, Aurora holding the other and Finlay carrying his blanket waddling a few steps behind, the Ackles’ trudged along the clean hallway towards their apartment.

“I want mommy,” Fin said as he dragged his feet as if it was a chore to walk.

“The quicker you move, the sooner you’ll see her,” Jensen told him. Fin immediately trotted forward to join Jades side and take her hand. A sour taste coated Jensens tastebuds, he hadn’t spoken to [Y/N] since he left after their argument and here he was with their kids, no time to talk or apologise.

“That one?” Jade tore her hand from Jensens and pointed at a door.

“Yup,” Jensen said. Jade rushed to the door dragging Fin behind her. She snatched the handle and bolted in with her brother.

“Mommy!” Fin screamed.

“Moooommmm!” Jade shouted.

Roe remained attached to Jensens hand as they entered the apartment. Closing the door he took a quick minute to inhale a deep breath, hold it for thirty seconds then release it. Finlay was glued to his moms chest and Jade squeezed in at her side. [Y/N]s eyes were puffy, no doubt she’d cried herself dry while he was out. Nonetheless she was enthusiastic about seeing her babies. Eventually Roe let go of Jensens hand and fell into her moms arms too. God, that was all Jensen wanted to do, collapse into the safe embrace of her love.

The familiar sound of Matthew Lillards voice filled the apartment as Scooby-Doo and the Loch Ness Monster flashed on the large flatscreen. Jade had made a bed of blankets and pillows on the floor, laying star-fished and content by herself. Finlay was tucked in [Y/N]s arms, he held his comfort blanket and suckled the corner like he usually did. They had been trying to get the four year old to let go of his safety net, but right now [Y/N] needed her own, so she allowed him to delve into his comfort zone. Roe sat on Jensens knee on the opposite side of the sofa, his arm was curled around her waist and she was propped against his stomach.

Angst definitely filled the air, but so far the kids had been unaware of the tension between their parents, even Jade who was seven. Since Jensen came back to the apartment [Y/N] and him hadn’t spoke much, actually nothing was said unless it had to be. Dinner was quiet and somber, then the kids wanted to play hide and seek, but Jensen suggested watching a movie instead. He was physically drained due to the emotional toil of that morning and he just wanted to go to bed and bury his head in the pillow as if the softness would ease the ache inside his heart.

[Y/N]s chest was crushed, the light faded from her eyes and even her beautiful babies couldn’t reignite her flame. Not when her husband was sitting on the same sofa as her, yet so far away. She knew he needed time to process their argument, so she waited, calm on the outside and hideously freaking out on the inside.

“I want mommy,” Roe said tilting her head back to look at Jensen.

“Go get her then,” he encouraged softly as he removed the barrier of his arm.

Roe tumbled off his lap and crawled her way over the sofa, she tucked into her moms hip. “Noooo, go away-” Finlay whined as he pushed her away.

“Hey Fin, c’mon now, there’s plenty of space for Roe too,” [Y/N] told him. Finlay huffed but gave up the fight against his sister.

“Daddy come too?” Roe invited her dad to join them. Jensens eyes flicked to [Y/N]s, her face remained flat, but she showed no discomfort at him getting closer, so he shuffled along the sofa and plonked himself down beside Roe, who once again climbed onto his lap. Now there was a Roe sized gap between the adults, but it could have been the distance of the grand canyon. It hurt [Y/N] more that he was closer because it somehow pushed him further away. Catching a lump in her throat she lifted Finlay into the gap making him huff instantly.

“I’ll just be a minute, I’m going to the toilet,” she reassured him.

“I go too,” Finlay said.

“No, you don’t need to go, you stay here, I’ll be right back.” Barely fifteen feet from her family the tears started falling down her face as she jogged to the bathroom.

Her sobs drowned out Jensens footsteps, causing her to leap into the air with a squeal like a startled cat when his hand folded over her shoulder in the middle of the bedroom. “[Y/N].”

“Go back to the kids Jensen,” she muttered, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her oversized hoodie.

“We need to talk.”

“Not while they’re awake.”

“I can’t wait that long.”

“Really because you’re the one that walked out!” Her temper was about to blow, but her volume lowered. “I don’t know what’s got you so wound up about this-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” He spat, closing in on her.

“Keep your voice down,” she said, straightening her back and gaining a few inches.

“Something felt off, I knew it, but I told myself that you just needed control! If I had known you were fucking me to hurt yourself, I’d never have let it happen.”

“I didn’t-”

“Don’t fucking lie you wanted it to hurt,” he shouted with a pointed finger in her face. “You used me.”

Despite being completely dehydrated tears collected in [Y/N]s waterline. She had wanted it to hurt and it did. “I, I didn’t know- I’ve just- I’m so sorry Jensen.”

“Do you know how disgusting I feel?”

“I never meant it to be like that,” her voice was barely a whisper. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I- I’ve been struggling and- fuck things are just so overwhelming. Every-fucking-day I’ve had to not-” her breath hitched, her hands clutching her chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me things were this bad?” His fingers crushed her shoulders as he gently shook her, partially in anger, mostly through worry.

“Because you had enough on your plate, we’d just moved house, the pandemic was rampant, you had to leave me and the kids, you had a new job, with new coworkers and crew, a new place to live- me crying about something that happened sixteen years ago was the least of our priorities.”

“When I sent you messages about my day and mentioned Chace did it make you think of Taylor?” Her lips pressed into a thin line and she remained quiet. “THAT’S WHY I’m so fucking pissed! You’ve been going through this ALONE.” Silence engulfed the room for almost a minute as [Y/N] shuddered and Jensen fought to keep his temper from exploding. “I almost lost you. Remember me being by your side in the hospital?”

“That wasn’t the part Chace was involved in-”

“That doesn’t change a damn thing!”

“Jensen-” her breath hitched and her hands shook against his pecs. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to add any more pressure onto you.”

“Fuck baby, I don’t care what it is-” he cupped her face, his anger lines fading as fear settled in to soften his features, “tell me everything, even if it’ll be hard for me to hear. We go through everything together okay? Don’t shut me out.”

"I’m sorry,” she threw her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. His cologne wrapped her in a blanket as his hands found her waist. “I love you so much,” she said before her snot covered nose crashed onto his cheek and her lips found his.

At first Jensen froze, then he pulled her legs around his waist and moved his tongue with hers as he stepped backwards to the bed. “I hate when we fight,” she mumbled into his mouth. Her hands slid from his firm shoulders, up his thick neck and into his soft hair.

“I know baby, I’m sorry,” he told her. She tugged at his lower lip with her teeth and his legs gave out descending them onto the bed.

Hearing those words from between his lips wedged a lump in her throat, the momentary rush of lust vanished completely. “I swear I didn’t mean to-,” she croaked as shame trampled her body and disgust lashed her soul. “Oh God I never- I’m sorry Jensen.”

“That’s over now okay?” He held her jaw and dipped his head to catch her eyes. “Forget about it.” [Y/N] gently nodded and bit her lip, Jensen nudged his forehead with hers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered back.

“Mommy?” Finlay squawked from the doorway with his blanket tightly fisted in his hand dragging behind on the carpet.

Jensen bolted to his feet with [Y/N] in his arms, dropping to her pins she wiped her eyes and swiped her mouth. “What is it baby?”

“I need to go,” the shy four year old told his parents.

“You know where the toilet is,” Jensen said. Finlay nodded and went into the en suite without closing the door behind him. Jensen lightly sighed, “we still need to talk about this.”

“I know, but can we just have some time with the kids right now please?”

“Of course, we still have a movie to finish,” Jensen reminded her.

Jensen observed his kids in awe, the movie was over an hour long and not one of them had stirred besides toilet breaks, their eyes had been continuously glued to the tv determined to not miss a moment of the Scooby-Doo flick. He had picked Scooby because it was his wifes favourite cartoon and it was his silent way of comforting her when they weren’t on open-communication terms.

After their little spat in the bedroom the mood had lifted on the return to the living room, [Y/N] tucked into Jensens side on the sofa, her leg draped over his. Roe tucked herself in Jensens other side and Finlay, wanting to be close as possible to his mom plonked himself down on Jensens stomach, making sure to crush his balls for a moment in the adjustment process. Jade remained content on the floor surrounded by all the space in the world, she had her kingdom and she was happy.

The credits barely rolled when Jensen gently shouted “bath time!” Fin scampered off the sofa and bolted. Roes eyes widened and the sweetest ‘oh no’ slipped between her lips before she darted. “Y’know they don’t hate the bath, they just love being chased,” Jensen told [Y/N].

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled.

“Right Jadey-baby what do you wanna watch now?” Jensen asked their eldest.

“Monsters Uni,” Jade mumbled.

“Monsters Inc University it is then,” Jensen confirmed as he played with the buttons guiding the tv to his command, Jade was enthralled immediately before the movie even started.

“Oh no daddy Ackles the twins are missing!” [Y/N] exaggerated in a playful tone as she eyed her husband.

“We’re gonna have to send out a search party then huh?” The twins giggled from separate hiding spots sending a bolt of love through their parents hearts. Knowing full well where the kids were Jensen announced they should look behind the kitchen island, seconds later a small giggle and soft footsteps danced through the air as Finlay found a new hiding spot.

Jensen threaded his fingers with [Y/N]s and directed her towards the kitchen then dipped behind the kitchen island and shouted ‘gotcha.’

“They’re not here,” [Y/N] feigned shock.

“We just need to look somewhere else, we’ll try under the kitchen table.” The feet of a chair dragged across the tiles making a hideous screeching noise, then the gentle pitter patter of feet darted across the room, Roe had run to her brother. “We’ve got them this time,” Jensen announced enthusiastically. “One, two, three...” the adults once again shouted ‘gotcha’ and pretended to be dumbfounded when they didn’t discover the twins.

“Oh no where are the babies,” [Y/N] exclaimed.

“We’re not babies!” Roe shouted leaving her hiding spot to challenge her mom.

“There they are!” [Y/N] alerted Jensen.

“Here we come,” Jensen warned the kids who grabbed each others hand and ran to the master bedroom in a fit of giggles and excited screams. Instead of instantly following them, the adults gave the kids some time to find a new hiding spot. “Right where we need them,” he said proud of their tactical ambush.

“Right where I need you too,” [Y/N] perched on her tip toes, stabled herself against his chest and kissed him with an almighty force but at the same time gingerly as if she was holding herself back, which she was because she wanted to devour him right there in the hallway.

“In bed or in the tub?” Jensen asked, curiosity sprinkling his voice.

“Maybe both,” [Y/N] pulled away, taking a few steps backwards she curled her finger instructing him to follow, which he obeyed without hesitation. Catching up to her, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. She pecked his forearm that crossed her chest. As they shimmied through the doorway two lumps under the bed covers exposed the twins’ new hiding spot. “I’m sure they came in here,” [Y/N] said.

“Lets check the cupboard,” Jensen said while placing his finger over his lips then pointing to the bed. [Y/N] nodded agreeing to the silent surprise attack. They creeped forward then leaped on the edge of the bed, their hands capturing a kid and fingers tickling them into fits of giggles and prayers to stop. Jensen pulled back the sheet, “gotcha this time.”

“Nooo daddy,” Finlay chuckled as he struggled to all fours in an attempted to escape Jensen.

“You ready for a bath?” [Y/N] asked Roe who shuffled closer and wrapped her arms her moms neck while nodding, she loved bath time and a small chase was just something she did because Finlay liked it.

Finlay was off the bed and running in circles around the room, Jensen feigning annoyance that his son was faster than him. Fin always needed extra encourage for bath time, it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, he was just a little odd and hated being naked, when he was a toddler the only way to calm him in the bath was for him to have his blanket in there too, luckily they had grown him out of that. [Y/N] worried her own issues were rubbing off on her kids, she hated being naked, ever since she could remember, the only time she feels safe enough to not care is with Jensen.

“How about we start the bath and hopefully by the time it’s done daddy’s caught Fin.”

“I want a fizzer,” Roe said. She meant the kid friendly mini bath bombs that exploded with spurts of colour and bubbled along the surface of the water. “But I’m picking.”

“You always pick.”

“Yeah cos Fin doesn’t behave,” her four year old daughter declared matter of factly.

“Y’know who he got that from?” Roe raised her brows. “Daddy.”

“Yeah well, boys are dumb,” Roe said as her eyes rolled, she climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom.

[Y/N] couldn’t stifle the chuckle that burst in her stomach, kids were the funniest things and her heart swelled seeing her own so content. A screech from Finlay stole her attention, Jensen held their small son like a weight bar high in the air. “Be careful Jen,” she urged anxiously.

“Really babe?” He glared sinfully as if she’d said something extremely offensive, but lowered his arms to lessen her anxiety. “Have I ever dropped you?”

��No I know, just, y’know.”

“I know,” he reassured her with a cheeky wink. “I think daddy deserves a medal for catching the wild baby shark huh?”

“Nooooo!” Finlay shouted. “Mommy,” he pleaded for her help.

“Daddy’s right, he did a good job.” Her hand crawled over his shoulder and she whispered in his ear “I’ll give you something else you deserve later on.” Jensen gulped loudly and cleared his throat.

“C’mon I’m waiting,” Roe huffed from the doorway of the en suite with her arms folded.

“I’m ever so sorry madam,” Jensen said crossing the room with a worn out Fin relaxed in his arms. He was impressed and shocked to find out his four year old daughter had already twisted the knobs and blocked the drain to fill the bath. They were getting so big so fast, just the other day he could have sworn they were tiny little babies who screamed every time they were separated from each other.

Jensen kept the kids busy picking toys to play with while [Y/N] corrected the temperature to an enjoyable but safe heat for the twins. “Clothes off, c’mon,” he instructed the twins.

“Daddy help,” Roe said with her pink shirt scrunched to her chest. Jensen helped Roe out of her clothes and scooped her up under the armpits then gently dropped her into the bath. “Daddy the fizzers.”

“You need to get washed first remember,” [Y/N] said over her shoulder before focusing her full attention on coaxing Finlay out of his clothes. He nibbled his fingers and stood frozen in his little dinosaur boxers. “C’mon baby shark, in and out okay?” He barely nodded then pushed his boxers down to his ankles. “Good boy,” [Y/N] praised him and kissed his head.

“Right little man lets get you in the tub,” Jensen said scooping Fin up and placing him in the water, just as he had done with Roe moments before. Bath time always had the same routine; the chase, play time in the tub then the battle between kids and parents to wash hair and bodies, then the coaxing out of the tub. Sometimes it was a short routine, thirty minutes maximum, but other times it could end up taking over a couple of hours to make it through the process. Both parents were relieved that the structure was smooth sailing tonight.

Jensen wrapped Fin in a towel and rubbed his body while expressing playful growls and grumbles, [Y/N] copied the action with Roe.

“Nooo, stop daddy. Let me go,” Finlay muttered as he fought the enclosure of the blue towel.

Jensen allowed the towel to crash to the floor, freeing Finlay who dashed through the apartment as Jensen followed behind accompanied by a cheeky cackle.

A bath and especially the excitement of a bath bomb always wiped Roe out, cradled half asleep, covered in the towel in her moms arms she floated to the bedroom. Almost depleted of every ounce of energy, Roe remained boneless on the bed while [Y/N] put her PJs on. Jensen had already got Finlay in his PJs and tucked into bed.

“Can I go to bed?” A yawning Jade asked from the doorway.

“Yeah c’mon baby,” Jensen said plumping up the pillows.

“Are you sure you wanna sleep on the floor Jade?” [Y/N] asked.

“Yeah I gotta watch over my brother and sister and keep them safe,” she said pulling the blanket up to her chin.

“Y’know you’re a really really good big sister, I’m proud of you pickle,” Jensen kissed her cheek softly.

“I love you daddy.”

“I love you too Jadey,” Jensen said stroking her chin.

“Night mom, love you.”

“I love you, goodnight.”

[Y/N] and Jensen said I love you to the conked out twins, each blissfully unaware of the kisses from their parents. They hovered by the open door for a few minutes watching over their babies. Jensen tugged at her shoulder and pulled the door closed, leaving it slightly ajar so a streak of light slashed through the room.

“What do you say I run another bath, just for us?” Jensen asked one brow raised and cheekily curved mirroring the corner of his mouth.

“Sounds good to me.”

Despite them being fully naked and bodies flush against one another Jensen remained soft, this moment wasn’t sexual, it was raw, deep and unsettling. To comfort himself he pulled her close to his chest, resting his head on her shoulder. Finally finding his voice he gently asked “you gonna tell me what’s going on?” [Y/N] sighed heavily. “Ignoring it won’t make it go away.”

“I know, I know, I just- don’t want to.”

“You need to baby.” Jensen assured her with words and a firm squeeze. [Y/N] folded forward allowing her forehead to rest uncomfortably against her knees. “What’re you struggling with?”

“Please- don’t make me say it,” her voice was barely a whisper.

“Okay, just yes or no, alright?” She nodded silently. “Are you having urges towards pills?”

“No,” she muttered while shaking her head.

“What about something sharp?” [Y/N] recoiled instantly attempting to shrink herself into non-existence, he only held her tighter. “It’s okay baby, I’m here.

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered through soft sobs.

Jensen forcibly manoeuvred her shoulders, twisting her body his fingers graced her chin as he commanded her to look at him. “I love you okay? I love you more than anything. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but now I know what you’re dealing with, we’ll go through it together. I’ve watched you grow and learn for fifteen years, trust me, you’re incredible and so strong, and you’re the only one I want to spend my life with.” [Y/N] crumpled into his chest and clutched him tight, he held her while she cried and kissed her temple until she was quiet again.

He spent time washing her hair, not that it needed cleaned, but it was a form of intimacy they’d shared for years. The gentle scraping of her scalp with his padded fingers as the shampoo bubbled, the way he made sure he’d scooped all of her hair, the way he pulled her head back and kissed her forehead as he combed her hair with conditioner coated fingers and then held her hair like a rope to rinse the products out, it was all so delicate. He gracefully pecked her water sprinkled skin every so often causing her to throw her head back and gasp when his teeth grazed the gratifying spot between her neck and shoulder.

When he bit a little harder she moaned in a way that clamped his balls and sent shivers down his spine. Her knees broke the surface of the water as she slipped deeper with an unforgiving grip on his thighs. Blindly finding his hand she clutched it with both of hers and dragged it to her breast, forcing his palm flat against her small chest she gripped his hand making him grab her tit. She dug her nails into his hand forcing him to squeeze harder to the point a guttural moan filled the bathroom. Desperate for his touch she found his other hand and guided it down her body, straight to her entrance where she bucked against his flat palm.

Arranging his fingers aimlessly, his middle digit curved enough to slip through her outer walls. Starved for more she grabbed his wrist and shoved him down, his finger dove deeper and she shuddered. The water sloshed as she pleasured herself with his hand.

“You’re gonna flood the bathroom,” he smirked.

“I don’t care.”

“Well I do, c’mon out.” [Y/N] huffed as she flipped over and sat on his thighs, her hand grasping his throbbing dick. “Contain yourself til we get into bed,” he told her.

“Why don’t you just fuck me right here, on the floor or against the wall,” she groaned into his ear.

“Because you’ll probably wake the kids-”

Knowing her husband was right she reluctantly released his dick and exited the tub with a sour face. Without grabbing a towel to dry off she headed straight for the bed. He pulled the plug and the water spiralled down the drain with a dull gargling echoing through the pipes.

He entered the bedroom with his fingers trailing through his hair leaving it standing on end as droplets of water zigzagged down his skin. His dick stood mighty and proud, at attention and bobbed with each step closer, even from this distance she could see the tip glistening with pre-cum.

“C’mon baby,” she said holding out a limp wrist from her split-legged kneeling position on the bed. Jensen swallowed hard then dashed to the bed falling on top of her, his tongue hungrily playing with hers as their bodies rolled and their limbs tangled. [Y/N] mounted him, groaning when her bud rubbed against his shaft.

An unnerving bolt of lightening struck his core, jolting back he held his hands in the air. “No- nono, don’t do that.” That position, that moan, it was just like yesterday when she fucked him and that wasn’t going to happen tonight. They sat silent and still for a moment just looking at each other before she retreated from his lap to lay down on the bed, head against the pillow and legs split.

“Use me,” she said. His dick twitched and his jaw clenched. “C’mon do it,” she pushed.

With the fury of the pits of hell themselves fuelling his passion Jensen crushed both her wrists in one of his hands and slotted between her open thighs. Ravenous for full control he held back barks as she continued to goat him. “C’mon go for it-”

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” he snarled as his free hand clamped her mouth and nose tightly, leaving her with no viable way to breathe.

Despite having the utmost trust in Jensen, being in a position where she had absolutely no control paralyses her with fear, every single time. Only with him there’s a calm ocean to comfort the panic, a summers heat to engulf the anxiety and the most dazzling green eyes to sooth her soul.

Although never feeling calmer, [Y/N]s body responded naturally to receiving no oxygen, her limbs shuddered and rattled as she struggled under his bodyweight. When her eyes bulged and the tears formed, Jensen removed his hand allowing her to sharply inhale the forbidden breath. Coughing and panting she muttered, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everythi-”

“You won’t be truly sorry until the kids aren’t around-” he threatened, “for now just stay quiet.”

Without hesitation Jensen plunged his swollen head into her wanting hole, breath snatched from her, she attempted to yell out. “What did I say?” His fingers tightened around her wrists, a warning to watch herself. After a gentle nod confirming she was still present and willing Jensen rocked his hips, his thick shaft dragged along her inner walls as her hole circled his girth tightly. “You’re gonna lay there a take it,” he told her while adamantly driving his length deeper into her at a frantic pace.

[Y/N]s betrayal burned through him like an unstoppable wildfire on the hottest day of the summer, he was drained and bone-dry, every inch available to catch alight and disintegrate between her legs and lips. He wanted to scream at her at the top of his lungs, call her a bitch, wrap his hand around her throat until she was scratching at him to let her go, shove her face into the floor as he fucked her from behind and used her like she used him, but instead he shelved those needs and nibbled on her ear. “I’ll make it fucking hurt,” he hissed before letting go of the reigns and pounding into her unforgivingly.

His thrusts were so violent and fast she couldn’t catch a breath, her lungs burned as much as her hammered entrance was filled to capacity. He kept her wrists bound in his hand, his other hand forcing her down into the mattress with fingertips digging into her hip reminding her where she was and what was happening.

A purely animalistic growl burst from Jensen. “Fuckin’ hell!” It wasn’t a lust fuelled wanton outpour, it was a heart splitting in two devastated whine. The bones in her wrists cracked when he squeezed tighter, his hips bucked harder and relentlessly plunged his stone column into her deepest spot over and over again. Finally, her hip sang with freedom from his grip, but the pillow beside her started squealing as it took a beating. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”Jensen shouted with one last hefty punch to the pillow as he completely stilled between her legs. “I can’t,” he said between deep pants, “this isn’t- I need to hold you, make sure you don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said before kissing his taught jaw softly and rolling her hips to manoeuvre his dick inside her, “my whole world is right here.”

Jensen buried his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply as if he knew he wouldn’t have the capability to smell soon. “I love you, I love you so fucking much.” His hands crushed her body in a brutal embrace as he held her closer and rocked his hips in time with hers trying to get impossibly close, close enough to become one.

“I love you too,” she groaned into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry-”

“Ssshhh baby,” he whispered trailing his hand between their bodies, “it’s okay, let me make you feel good.”

“Oh f-,” she whined when his fingertips graced her clit and pushed the button to wind the coil buried deep inside of her.

Barely rocking and without an inch of space between them they fast approached their climax, while embraced in each others arms both parties were terrifyingly afraid to let go in case the other would vanish into thin air.

“Jensen, please-” she begged unable to dangle on the edge any longer, she needed to hit the peak with him, tumble through the comedown in his arms, know they were alright and everything was going to be okay.

Desperate for the weight to be lifted off his shoulders Jensen rubbed her clit furiously while maintaining a strict, tight rhythm of thrusts.

It all happened so fast, his needy declarations of love, his perfectly timed assault against her core and his hands tightening in her hair, it tipped her over the edge. A tsunami of pleasure dismantled her brain, rocked her body and shook her soul making her scream loud enough for God to hear as her orgasm ripped through her.

Enamoured by her wails Jensen was thrust into his own climax, he roared just as loud as she had when he exploded, his load painted her inner walls as he stilled inside of her until the very last drop of his seed dribbled out his swollen tip and was eaten by her hungry pussy.

“Fuck babe,” he mumbled into her neck between soft kisses as he rolled them through the comedown.

Her mouth was open, limbs were limp and eyes rolling back as he slipped his softening length from her hole. “I love you Jensen,” she moaned as he retreated letting the cool air nip her skin.

“I love you too baby,” he said, rolling over and pulling her into his chest, then before settling himself he made sure she was entirely covered by the sheet. “G’night.”

“Night,” she muttered already almost asleep.

Dampened thuds and muffled cries jolted [Y/N] and Jensen awake from the sweet paradise of sleep.

“Fuck we forgot to unlock the door,” she muttered still half asleep trying to find her way out of the bedsheet and Jensens limbs. Untangling herself she searched in the dark and flicked the light on, leaping out of bed she covered herself in Jensens shirt that lay on the floor from the day before.

The cries were coming from Finlay, his tell tail hitching of his breath eluding to his identity. “I’m coming baby,” she said while throwing Jensens boxers at him.

Darting to the bedroom door, the lock clicked and when she pulled the thick wooden plank open Finlay fell to his hands and knees at her feet. “What’s wrong baby?” She bent down and scooped him into her arms immediately.

“I hear the monsters,” Finlay said, fear overpowering his wide eyes. [Y/N] suspected he was hearing the fairly harsh wind outside, typically she’d take him back to his bed, make him feel better and coax him to stay while she returned to bed with Jensen, but tonight she was beyond exhausted and her emotions were extremely fragile, she didn’t have the heart to turn him away.

“Right c’mon baby, lets go to bed,” she smiled.

Jensen reached over and hugged her waist urging her back to bed. “What’s going on you guys?”

“Monsters,” Finlay said.

[Y/N] settled beside Jensen and both parents opened their arms inviting him in, but Fins brows were still furrowed and eyes sparkling with fresh tears.

“I want to be in the middle so the monsters can’t get me,” he said.

Jensen instantly rebounded and created space.“C’mon then buddy,” he said, “get in here.”

Finlay smiled wide and dived in, he scooted his back against Jensens torso and then rested his head on [Y/N]s chest, covering himself with his trusty blanket as he squeezed between his parents.

“Night little man,” Jensen said.

“Night daddy, night mommy,” Finlay muttered.

“Night baby,” [Y/N] kissed her sons forehead. Jensens firm hold on her dragged her back to sleep and she slept soundly in her boys arms for six straight hours.

#jensen ackles x reader #fanfic #smut #angst #fall out #trigger warning for ed and s/h #jensen x reader #fan fic #fic

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