#or even more five and allison content

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

they turned number 7 into a bird

[thesilvertheorist]

• unprofessional •

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Fic summary: [set in s4] Five is forced to go into mandatory active therapy in order to ensure that he can perform well at the CIA, he finds himself opposite a young lady (21+ ish) who's taken him on as her first client. Five is resistant at first but soon begins to develop ALL kinds of feelings for this woman.

Warnings/tags: ptsd related traumas, flashbacks, self harm, self loathing, resistance to help, attitude, scandalous age gap (five is mentally 60+, body of a 21 year old), developing feelings, inappropriate relationship, unprofessional relationship, anguish, angst, sexually explicit content, mdni, stalker!five, reader should really contact the authorities in all honesty.

you have been warned

Masterlist

CHAPTER ONE

[3.7k words]

Hargreeves’ new world is certainly one of oddities. It’s almost identical to the world that Five and his siblings grew up in only, in this timeline, this version of his adoptive father owned essentially every active corporation all over the globe. A weird concept, but not one that is necessarily that farfetched. The basic premise of this timeline functioned exactly the same as all the others that Five knew: linear time (seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, decade after tedious decade), people going about their daily lives (bills and taxes to pay), and – of course, there’s the ever-present need to create family and community. Although, and this is the kicker, he’s been stripped of his powers. Every Hargreeves’ sibling had been.

Five had presumed that the loss of their powers was the price of a new life… that Luther losing Sloane was the price that Allison paid by proxy to get Claire back. Screwed up, but it’s the most logical answer considering they were energetically glued to stars on the floor in a universal mainframe fighting for their lives not too long ago.

As his siblings dispersed upon realising the situation, Five was left alone yet again, wondering what the hell he was going to do with his vacant being and lack of powers. His skills aren’t exactly what you’d look for when employing someone. Not to mention that his appearance doesn’t match his intellect. He was nothing short of absolutely fucked.

This rather strange situation kept Five’s mind awake for days. What exactly had happened? Why were they all here? Is this timeline a result of shutting down the last one? Is there a way to regain their powers? Do people even want their powers back? Did he want them back? Would he be able to realise that this state of helpless humanity may actually be giving him a fresh start? Was he ignoring things? Was this stupidly self-aware diatribe of crap swirling around in his head actually ungrateful screams of a thirteen year old who couldn’t prove to his father that he’d fixed what he’d broken?

It didn’t matter.

Five knew that, realistically, he’d have to start somewhere. The first thing he needed to do was secure himself a steady roof. He had no idea who’d rent to him…considering he had no money and looked like he belonged in some sort of private school for privileged arsehole boys. Oh wait. Pesky self-awareness again.

Five realised that if he couldn’t beat them, he’d have to join them. The second daylight broke the next day, he worked on getting himself a place at the closest university; he looked about that age and any required proof of braincells proved to be child’s play for his overly adapted mind. This gave him an opportunity to have a bed to sleep in whilst also allowing him to keep his brain active – even if his assignments were the equivalent intensity of doing the sudoku in the paper each morning.

Needless to say, he earned his degree quickly. He’d also acquired numerous commendations from differing scholars and academics throughout his studies which earned him an interview at the CIA. Five rationalised that, whilst he wasn’t exactly police material, the CIA was more up his alley…more dignified for a man of his age.

His interview went as well as could have been expected and Five was hired almost immediately. He’d breezed through basic training, explaining to those who were curious that his combat skills were from too many extra-curricular clubs after school and totally not from anything sinister [like being born into a family of super siblings and fighting crime at thirteen only to then be accepted into a temporal commission decades later who put field agents through intense training to prepare them to kill threats to the timeline].

He was just good at what he did and was a quick learner.

Totally.

Five’s first few months with the CIA went as any other months would do. He managed to find himself a shitty apartment and keep up the rent with whatever money he didn’t spend on outrageously expensive suits or artisan coffee. He wasn’t doing badly at all – he was even up for a promotion.

With things going so well, it came as a surprise to Five when his new supervisor insisted that he attend mandatory therapy as part of his new role within the company. He’d been advised that all higher agents have to do this – keeps them from boiling over. Five wasn’t really listening though; it was as if water had filled his ears. The last time he’d heard this bullshit was back at The Commission… only there, they forced agents into therapy to ensure they were boiling over – that their intent to kill was still active inside them.

After trying to reason with his supervisor, Five was told in no uncertain terms that he either attended the therapy or go back to his entry level basic training so he understood what ‘following orders’ meant. Pissed off and undermined, Five only nodded in response. He noted down when his appointment was: 8am Monday, 7th floor, office C.

When Monday came around, Five was more irritated than he thought he’d be. He had no clue what bullshit this, so called, therapist would come out with – and in all honesty, he wished that all therapists would just keep their traps shut. Now that would be therapeutic.

Upon arriving to work that day, Five decided that coffee was the best solution. He’d be able to respond quicker with his brain activated, and he’d be able to leave that office sooner. Perfect plan. Whilst waiting in line at the downstairs café to order his take away cup of gravelly black coffee, he couldn’t help but notice the woman in front of him.

She was young – she’d have to be a university graduate. She was well dressed in smart office kitten heels, sheer tights, a sophisticated pencil skirt, and a fitted blouse. Her hair was pinned in a claw-clip bun but she must have been in a hurry this morning because pieces had fallen out and were giving her that chic yet windswept look that only a few people could truly pull off.

As she ordered her coffee – a ‘mocha with a little bite to it’, Five noticed that the woman wasn’t carrying anything (other than the precise amount of cash to pay with) – nor did she have a blazer or jacket with her. Who the hell comes to the offices prior to 8am and sets up before getting their coffee? This woman was weird. Her chirpy voice and polite manners weren’t going to fool him.

Why the fuck did he even care?

He didn’t know this woman, nor did she know him. What she looked like, sounded like, or acted like was none of his business. He’d got a stupid therapist to see. This young woman was just another number in a pitiful equation that he no longer had the energy to solve. He tried to ignore her as she waited aside for her coffee to be made, pretending not to catch glimpses of her as she looked up at the hot food menu of the café to pass time whilst he ordered his own cup of drip black coffee.

Both drinks were prepared at precisely the same time. The young woman smiled at the barista as she collected the warm cup, turning on her heels to head towards the lifts. Without thinking much about it at all, Five followed her over after collecting his own coffee – trailing behind her as if he were some sort of lost puppy (or ravenous hound dog) as she crossed the foyer, offering her a curt smile when she summoned the lift.

Silence.

The woman was looking at her watch when the lift arrived. The ding of the bell alerting her to the fact that it was here. Five gestured for her to enter first – after all, he’s kinda got a weird thing about lifts now since the whole universe reset bullshit. He won’t enter one that doesn’t have another person in it…must be a newfound claustrophobia symptom. Perhaps it might be worth seeing a therapist. The woman entered and stood aside to let Five in also, shattering the silence with two ground-breaking, reality-altering, mind-bending words:

“Which floor?”

Five was deafened.

He was sure that his brain had malfunctioned. He hadn’t actually been deafened but he needed her to stop talking and yet never stop speaking all at once. Her voice was like velvet…Five hated the feeling velvet – but loved the way it warmed his skin. He needed to respond quickly before she thought he was weird; her smile would fade and he’d be deemed the office creep for following  a young woman from the café into the lift and then seemingly drooling over the only two words she deigned to utter to him throughout the last ten minutes.

“Oh, er- seven, thanks” he managed to force out.

“Cool, me too” the young woman smiled out in response to him.

This meant that Five had to endure seven floors of close proximity to this woman – standing so close to her that he feel he may actually happily suffocate from her perfume, pretending all the more that the sound of her honey-like chirps hadn’t done something to him.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

One.

She held her coffee in her left hand – no ring, red nails.

Two.

She wore a silver watch on that same hand – written in roman numerals the time was 7:50am

Three.

She had cuffed her blouse sleeves – ¾ length, likely to see her watch.

Four.

Her skirt had a hidden seam – she’d had it altered to fit better.

Five.

Her hair was falling out of the clip – he wanted to be the one to fix it.

Six.

She wore necklaces – silver and layered to match her watch.

Seven.

She was intoxicating.

The lift bell dinged again, signalling to each of them that they had reached the seventh floor. Five felt the air return to his lungs as the young woman stepped out of the enclosed space and walk a few paces ahead, only to have it ripped from him yet again when he realised they were heading in the same direction…

down the same hallway…

to the same office…

office C.

Shit.

Five was all but paralysed, stood eight feet from her office door as she opened it and stepped inside, leaving it open for her next psychological plaything to enter. She hadn’t noticed that he was her client yet. Surely she hadn’t. She wouldn’t have had the time to; hundreds of people worked in this building.

She proceeded to sit in one of the chairs that surrounded the dark, wooden coffee table within the small box-office - crossing her legs as she rested her notebook and pen in her lap. Reading. Learning. Waiting.

Five was left wondering if his brain had actually malfunctioned in that lift; he couldn’t seem to move his feet in either direction. If he backed away now, he wouldn’t be allowed the promotion and would be forced back into basic training. On the other hand, if he walked in that office, he was in the trap of a much younger (much too innocent looking) young woman who had no idea what she was dealing with. It was all well and good for her to prepare the snare, but what if she began to realise she’d caught a wolf as opposed to a rabbit?

Perhaps he could pretend to be a rabbit.

Perhaps…he wanted to be a rabbit.

He walked up to the threshold of the door, knuckles tapping the doorframe, breaking her from her surely feigned concentration. Five didn’t expect the reaction he had to seeing her face for the first time, seeing how her eyes met his, feeling locked in under her gaze. Feeling himself want to spill his secrets to her. He was about to be examined and read to filth and he knew it.

What remained to be seen was whether or not he liked it.

The young woman waited for him to speak, angling herself so that she was ever so casually inviting. She didn’t press him to say anything or even break the eye contact…she just waited. Five was well aware that this was the first trick in any newly-trained therapist’s handbook, but he swallowed thickly and knowingly fell for it anyway.

That promotion had to be worth it.

“I’ve got an eight am appointment in this office.” he managed to chortle out, clearing his throat as not to sound like he chain-smoked two packs of cigarettes on the commute alone.

“You’re early, Mr Hargreeves,”

Her words rang in his ears as she spoke. How did she know his name? Oh, right, therapist – list of appointments, names, times, job roles… fucking idiot.

Five couldn’t move a single inch forwards…or backwards…or anywhere for that matter. He was well and truly pinned down by this woman, and she’d said a total of six words to him so far. He didn’t feel at liberty to move closer to her or invade her office until she specified that he could. Maybe this was his old chivalry training kicking in that Reggie had forced him and his siblings through back in the day. Surely he was just being courteous and kind in the presence of a lady.

Oh, how he wanted to be anything but kind to in the presence of this lady.

“Well, take a seat.”

Five’s feet moved before he even realised they were moving. He didn’t rush over, but he didn’t waste any time either, shutting the door promptly behind him. He sat in the chair across from the young woman, positioning his coffee cup on the small table between them – mirroring her.

He noticed how she watched him closely but also rather nonchalantly, never for one second allowing him the grace of considering that this may be just as nerve wracking and heart attack inducing for her. She remained collected at all times; Five Hargreeves would not be beaten by a woman a third of his age.

“So, Mr Hargreeves, why is it that you’re here?” she questioned, opening a fresh page in her notebook, scribbling a singular word at the top of the page.

What the hell kind of bullshit question is that?

“Well, as much as I love the company of over-confident psychoanalysts, I’m sure you’re aware I’m here on a mandatory basis.” He managed to bite back in response, feeling as though he gained ground back with his viper-like tongue.

“Straight to the point I see. Well, let’s not waste any of your precious time, Mr Hargreeves.” She smiled back in response. Smiled – like some crazy, lunatic bitch.

“Please, Mr Hargreeves is my father” Five spoke out, discomfort increasing every time she chose to address him that way.

Perfect idea, Five - throw your daddy issues into the mix right off the bat - advertise the crazy.

She scribbled a little more, three words this time.

“Five it is.”

Five felt shivers travel down his spine. Her actually using his name felt a million times more invasive and a trillion times less appropriate…and he’d removed that first professional barrier himself. He’d been in her presence for less than twenty minutes and already wanted to kill himself as a sacrifice to whatever deity was torturing him with her.

The next few questions she had were rather basic, ‘tell me more about yourself so I can profile you’ questions. This told Five all he needed to know. She was new to this…she didn’t really have a clue what she was in for, and she was likely handed him as an easy case – but, damn, did she play a good game of poker.

Answering her questions, he noticed how she picked up her coffee and removed the lid from the to go cup. Wondering why, he missed her next question. Why would she have removed that? It keeps the coffee warm. It didn’t make much sense at all. Was she purposefully trying to throw him? How did she know that would throw him?

It took Five until after intently watching her sip her ‘mocha with a lil bite to it’ to realise that she was wearing lipstick…and she would have left messy lip prints all over that lid if she hadn’t removed it.

He wanted to see that lip print.

He wanted to wear that lip print.

He was losing his mind.

She must have noticed that he missed her question as she repeated it to him, making him look like an idiot in the process. He answered as best he could – ignoring the blood rushing from his brain to somewhere else entirely.

This was fucking him off – her hold on him. She didn’t even know him. How the hell had he let such a pathetic woman claim this much control over him? He didn’t know much other than: this situation is forced, unnecessary, and ridiculous. As well as: he’s much smarter than her and she needs to know that.

Five’s answers began to get shorter, snappier, and ruder as the appointment went on. He drank his coffee and steeled his mind over, not allowing this girl to contain him any longer. He ignored his body’s signals and focused only on getting out of this office. All he had to do was prove that he wasn’t some weird psychopath or stupid enough to fall into a mental spiral…therefore, all he had to do was pretend that he wasn’t pumped full of criminal DNA to ensure he did spiral.

He tried to project his anger into his words, feeling as if he could replace the barriers he’d begun to dismantle with a harsh, reliable distain for the people around him. It worked for everyone else, and it would work on this woman.

Only, it didn’t.

She dropped the corporate questioning the second she noticed the change in him, opting for a deeper – more infuriating approach. She tore strips into him as she politely asked him to watch his language in her office space. She pulled him up on every wall-building tactic he had…and he apologised for them. Not with his words; she hadn’t earned that – with his eyes.

He actually felt bad for trying to build walls between the two of them, and he’d known her a total of fifty minutes. She was right to pull him up on his behaviour. She didn’t back down from him once; completely reinforcing the fact that this was her office, and her appointment. He was a visitor. How fucking dare he?

Astounded by himself, Five had nothing more to say to this woman. He was absolutely, well and truly, entirely done for. He only hoped that he’d passed her initial inspection of his mind as not to be pulled by the sacred force of her gravity back into the four walls of this office where he couldn’t control his behaviour around her…but he didn’t.

The young woman set up a weekly appointment for him. Same time, same place; she didn’t feel as though he was ready to progress without support. So, as she signed his papers for him to enter his promotional role, she issued her warning:

“Don’t underestimate the will of others, Five.”

With that, she had him shaking her hand, and stepping out of her office – taking his empty coffee cup with him.

What, the fuck, had she done to him?

As he walked back down the corridor and summoned the lift to go to the 10th floor to see his supervisor, Five was left clutching at his empty coffee cup for dear life. Feeling like a doe that had a near miss with a haul truck. That young woman had just turned him inside out, deemed him insufficient, and asked him to leave…and he was pissed. she'd given him absolutely nothing, and yet allowed him the opportunity to experience everything.

He hated this woman. She was entitled, bossy, and thought she knew everything. She was young and overly caring about her appearance. She clearly had no idea what he was or who he was – nor did she seem to care. She had absolutely no fear. She was ignorant and arrogant. She didn’t have what it takes to do this job. She was infuriating. Her hold on him was a sham and obviously sexually fuelled. Clearly, she hadn’t been in the therapy business for long because otherwise, Five wouldn’t know this stuff about her.

Yet, there was a stirring in his stomach, something primal.

He couldn’t wait for her to do this to him again.

Once he’d handed in his papers, and handed over his old job role, Five was dismissed for the day. He headed straight home, feeling as though the subway couldn’t take him quick enough. His body was tense and his temper was short. Dropping his keys upon trying to get into his apartment was the perfect sum up to his day.

Finally letting himself in, not bothering to switch on the lights or get himself any food, he stripped off and headed immediately for the shower. He set the temperature to a skin-peeling high and stepped inside, letting the steam transport him back to her office.

He took his left hand, the one that she shook earlier today, and roughly took his hard length in hand. He’d been hard on and off since this morning. Any time she crossed his mind, Five was battling with his own blood flow.

He cursed out as he roughly brought himself to a pained climax – believing that the pain would train him into hating this woman…but all he could hear was her honey-toned voice in his ear telling him to let her handle him as if she were stood behind him taking him in hand herself. He could feel her whispy fly-aways tickle his neck as her breasts pushed into his back. That’s when he felt her lips graze his shoulder, leaving those sultry lip prints that he’d dreamt about since realising she wore lipstick.

His cum was hot in his hand and coated the shower wall.

Fuck.

He was a mess for this woman…a storm of feelings, a shitshow of poor behaviour, and a sexual wreck for anything she could give him.

Next week couldn’t come quick enough; and neither could he.

link to: Chapter Two

✦ okay so i'm sorry this took so long for such a short chapter - i got ill :(( hope you enjoy it anyway, more coming soon. this is my first real tumblr fic so pls be kind ✦

✦ the truly diabolical content is to come, let Five have a minute of rest before being mindfucked again :)) ✦

taglist for this fic below: (lmk if you'd like to be added or removed ♡)

@groovydazephantom @girls-overflower @clownstillwritesfanfic @diaryoftheodosia @vroomvroomgirl @kaybreezy3000 @badkitty3000

[seungminsbaldspot]

Six Years, Five months and Two days | FIVE X READER

pairing: five hargreaves x reader

Part one: Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days | Five X Reader

Word Count: 5329

Genre: angst / smut

General Notes: Lila x Five did happen here folks :/, sexual themes, crude language, this does not correlate with whatever happens during seasons 4 other than Lila and Five jumping into a different timeline together for seven years, Reader is referred to as female and wife

Trigger Warnings: Sexual Content: Explicit descriptions of sexual activity and references to sexual encounters, Cheating and Betrayal: Emotional fallout from a partner's infidelity, Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting: Attempts to manipulate emotions and control within a relationship, Non-Consensual Physical Restraint: Instances of physical restraint, such as pinning against a wall or holding wrists down, Physical Aggression and Violence: Descriptions of forceful movements and aggressive behavior, Themes of Anger and Hate in a Relationship Context: Emphasis on anger, resentment, and hate within a romantic relationship, Rough or Aggressive Sexual Behavior: Elements of rough and aggressive sexual encounters, bordering on non-consensual behavior, References to Self-Worth and Insecurity: Reflections on feelings of inadequacy and questions about self-worth due to a partner's actions, Emotional Pain and Trauma: Heavy themes of emotional pain, grief, and unresolved trauma, and Language and Tone: Use of harsh and aggressive language, including profanity and confrontational statements.

Notes: f! oral receiving, low-key toxic reader ( to be fair five cheated and I support women’s wrongs ) Handjob, Edging, dirty talk, vaginal sex

Author’s note: I have not watched season 4 and I still do not plan too, mwah

Spoiler: All you get is, There will be a part 3

Click here for next part three!

Click here for the previous part one!

The anger hasn’t waned; it has only solidified into a constant, heavy presence in your life. You’ve withdrawn from everyone around you, the thought of facing anyone else too overwhelming to bear. The pain and frustration have driven you to isolate yourself, seeking solace in solitude rather than the company of others.

The only person you’ve managed to speak with at all is Allison. She’s the lone exception to your self-imposed isolation, offering a semblance of normalcy and a listening ear. Her patience and understanding are a rare comfort in this tumultuous time, though even your interactions with her are tinged with the shadows of your unresolved feelings.

Five, on the other hand, feels like a constant, painful reminder of everything you’ve lost. Each time you catch sight of him approaching, a wave of instinctual panic drives you to flee. You avoid him as if he’s a physical manifestation of your anguish. When you see him heading your way, you almost immediately retreat to the room you once shared. There, you lock the door behind you, creating a tangible barrier between yourself and the world outside, a small fortress of solitude where you can escape the reminders of your broken trust.

Your new daily routine has become a predictable cycle. You stay confined to your room for most of the day, emerging only for the latter part of dinner when everyone gathers to eat. You join them just long enough to pick at your food, barely participating in the conversation. The silence and the strained glances from others only deepen your sense of isolation. Once you’ve finished, you retreat back to your room, the door clicking shut behind you with a finality that echoes the loneliness you feel.

You’re maintaining this ritual, this enforced distance, until one evening when you’re heading back to your room. As you walk through the hallways, the familiar routine feels almost comforting in its predictability. But tonight, something shifts in the air. The hallway seems quieter, more oppressive, and the weight of your emotions feels heavier than usual. Each step toward the door of your sanctuary feels more burdensome, as if the act of retreating is becoming more than just a physical escape but a symbol of your own entrapment.

You reach for the door handle, your mind a tumultuous mix of pain and anger. Just as you’re about to close the door behind you, a sudden sound from the hallway makes you freeze.

It’s Five.

Before you can react, he’s right behind you, closing the distance with an urgency that catches you off guard. His hand wraps around your wrist with a firm grip, and before you know it, he’s pinning you against the wall. The pressure of his hold is both commanding and desperate, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that cuts through the fog of your emotions.

The hallway around you seems to dissolve into the background, leaving only the two of you in this charged, claustrophobic space. His breath is uneven, mingling with the tension that hangs heavily in the air. His face is a complex tapestry of frustration and something deeper—something you can’t quite put your finger on.

The familiar surge of anger rises within you, a fiery response to the violation of your space and emotions. “Get the fuck off of me,” you snap, trying to wrench your wrist free from his grasp. Your voice is sharp, laced with a mixture of hurt and defiance. The intensity of the moment amplifies your feelings, making the struggle against his hold feel even more urgent.

Five’s grip tightens momentarily, as if he’s trying to ground himself, but his eyes soften just enough to reveal a glimmer of vulnerability. “I know you’re angry,” he says, his voice rough yet edged with desperation. “I know I messed up. But I need you to listen to me. We can’t keep doing this.”

You shake your head, the anger in your voice unmistakable. “No fucking shit, you fucked up. Now leave me the fuck alone, Five,” you grit out, struggling against his hold. His eyebrows furrow, his frustration evident. “Diego and Lila made up. Why can’t we?”

You grit your teeth, your voice steady but sharp. “I’m not dumb enough to fall for some shitty make-up sex,” you reply, your words cutting through the air.

He shakes his head, his expression a mix of frustration and resignation. “Of course not,” he says, his voice softening. “I’m not saying you are.”

He switches his grip, each hand now holding one of your wrists firmly but gently, as if trying to convey earnestness through his touch. The change in his hold is subtle, his fingers wrapping around your wrists with a delicate urgency. He looks into your eyes, his gaze pleading yet determined. “What I’m trying to say is that we need to talk about this, really talk. We can’t just keep avoiding each other.”

You try to pull away, your frustration boiling over. “Leave me the fuck alone, Five,” you snap, yanking your wrists free from his grip. You rush for the door, desperate to escape, but Five moves quickly, catching the door before you can open it. He pulls you back into the room, forcing both of you into the space you once shared.

“What the fuck? Get the hell out,” you grit out, trying to push him away.

Five shakes his head, his expression set with determination. He grabs your wrist once more, his grip firm as he overpowers you. In a swift, almost frantic motion, he pulls you both onto the bed. You land flat on your back, and before you can react, Five sits across your waist, his position intended to pin you down. His weight is a physical reminder of his resolve, and he tries to stabilize you, his face inches from yours.

“I’m not leaving until we can make up,” he says, his voice a mix of desperation and determination.

You groan in frustration, your anger bubbling over. “Then fuck, we’re gonna be here till we fucking die,” you retort, struggling against him.

He smiles, a touch of defiance and resolve in his expression. “I’ve got till the end of the world, babe.” His tone is both challenging and tender, a reminder of the stubbornness that has defined so much of your relationship.

“Fuck you, Five Hargreaves,” you grit out, bucking your hips in an attempt to unbalance him. Five’s eyes narrow slightly, his grip tightening as he struggles to maintain his position. Despite the shift, he doesn’t move, his resolve unwavering.

“Fuck, why can’t you just forgive me?” he says desperately, his voice tinged with frustration.

You roll your eyes, exasperated. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You fucked Lila, for fuck’s sake. Five, we’re married and you’ve never even seen me naked. How am I supposed to just forgive that?”

He sighs, the weight of your words visibly affecting him. With a defeated gesture, he loosens one of his hands, pushing back his hair, though he keeps his other hand firmly on your wrist. His expression is a mix of weariness and regret, struggling to find the right words amidst the turmoil.

“I know. I fucking know.” He says, his voice breaking slightly. “I’m so fucking sorry, alright? I don’t know what else to do.” His eyes search yours, a raw vulnerability in his gaze.

You sigh, your gaze drifting away from his. In a swift, determined motion, you buck your hips, shifting your position to straddle him. You look down at him, your expression a mix of frustration and intensity. “You’re so fucking infuriating all of the fucking time,” you say, your voice tinged with both anger and a deeper, unresolved hurt.

“I don’t fucking understand you,” you say, your voice trembling, “All of these years, and I feel like I just met you.” Your words cut through the air, laden with the weight of all the emotions you’ve been grappling with. He groans, his frustration evident. “Do you think I love being confused all the time, huh? It’s not exactly easy for me either.” His eyes, still locked on yours, as if he’s pleading for you to see things from his perspective, to understand that he’s struggling just as much as you are.

“I don’t give a single flying fuck about what happened in that timeline,” you spit out, your voice sharp and unyielding. “You fucking cheated on me. Someone you’ve known for 50 years.” You lean in closer, your breath mingling with his, every word laced with venom.

Five closes his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in anguish. “I love you,” he murmurs, his voice strained, almost pleading.

Your heart clenches at his words, but the fury quickly surges back, hot and consuming. “I fucking hate you,” you whisper, leaning in to crash your lips against his, rough and unforgiving. You taste the salt of his regret, and it fuels the fire in your veins.

You release his wrists, not out of mercy but because you need them to support yourself as you shift your weight. As you begin to pull away, his hands find your hips with a desperate urgency. His grip is firm, almost bruising, and it ignites something primal inside you—a dark thrill at his neediness. He sits up, pressing his body against yours, trying to close the distance you’ve purposely created.

You try to jerk away, but he doesn’t relent. His mouth finds yours again, his kiss insistent, bordering on frantic, as if he could somehow erase the betrayal with the intensity of his touch. His nails dig into your sides, a biting reminder of his desperation to hold on to you, to keep you tethered to him.

“F-Five…” you hiss through clenched teeth, your voice trembling not with desire, but with the fury that he can still make you feel this way.

He hums in response, a low, needy sound, as his lips trail across your face and neck. Each kiss is too tender, too earnest. It grates against your skin like sandpaper, a mockery of the intimacy he once shattered. You grit your teeth, hating how his touch sends a heat pooling in your core, hating him for still knowing exactly how to get under your skin.

“I hate you so much…” you whisper again, but the words feel thin, brittle. They don't carry the weight of your rage the way you want them to.

He doesn’t stop. His kisses become more erratic, as if he’s trying to drown out your words with the only language he thinks he knows. His hands slide under your shirt, fingertips brushing your skin in a way that makes your breath hitch. You curse under your breath, torn between the urge to push him away and the overwhelming pull to lose yourself in him, if only to forget for a moment how much it all hurts.

He tugs at your shirt, and for a split second, you consider pushing him away again, making him suffer. But then you think, Fuck it. Maybe if he sees you like this, sees what he could lose, he’ll finally understand. You nod, a slight, reluctant movement, and his eyes light up with a mix of relief and urgency.

He rips your shirt over your head, his lips immediately trailing hot, fervent kisses along your neck. Your breathing quickens, your body betraying your anger as it responds to his touch. He fumbles with the hooks of your bra, and you don’t help him. Let him struggle. Let him know that this isn’t forgiveness—it’s a punishment. When he finally unhooks it, your bra falls away, and you watch his face for any sign of hesitation or doubt. But his gaze is intense, almost reverent, and you hate him even more for it.

The room is thick with tension, the silence broken only by your ragged breaths. His eyes roam over your chest, and you feel a flicker of insecurity. Did he like hers better? Are mine not good enough? The questions stab at your already bleeding heart, but you shake them off, forcing your anger back to the surface.

Without warning, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a bruising kiss. You’re not gentle; you’re taking from him, using him. He doesn’t get to have this, you think bitterly. He doesn’t deserve this.

He gasps against your mouth, surprised by your aggression, but quickly falls into rhythm, kissing you back with a hunger that makes your head spin. His hands grip your bare waist, pulling you closer, his touch igniting your skin in a way that makes your heart race with a confusing blend of hate and desire.

You reach down, grabbing the hem of his shirt, yanking it up with frustration. You want him exposed, vulnerable, just like he made you feel. You want to see him stripped of everything—his clothes, his defenses, his excuses. You pull his shirt off roughly, and he lets out a soft grunt, his eyes wide with surprise at your forcefulness.

Your hands move to his waistband, tugging with more force than necessary. Five understands the message immediately, quickly shedding his pants, leaving him in just his underwear. His hands are on you again, this time more urgent, more desperate, as he pulls your shorts down your legs. His movements are hurried, almost frantic, as if he’s afraid you’ll change your mind and leave him half-naked and abandoned.

His hands roam down your body, grasping and squeezing your ass with a possessiveness that makes you bristle. He hooks his finger in the band of your underwear, pulling it away from your skin and letting it snap back. The sting makes you gasp, not in pleasure, but in shock. You bite your lip, glaring at him, hating how even now, in the middle of your rage, he can still get a reaction out of you.

He doesn't deserve this, you think again, but you’re already too far gone. You’re in too deep, both with him and with your own conflicting feelings. You hate him, but you want him, and that contradiction tears at you, making you reckless, making you want to hurt him the way he hurt you.

He smiles and lays you down flat on the bed. He slowly pulls your underwear down to your ankles.

You glare at Five, anger coursing through you like a live wire. His eyes lock onto yours, hesitant, as if he's unsure of his place with you now. You hate the way he looks at you—the way his gaze drifts over your body, as if trying to remember every inch, every curve. He has no right. Not after what he did. Not after the betrayal. But damn it, you still want him, and that infuriates you even more.

He cheated. The thought burns in your mind, a searing reminder of why you're here now, in this moment, letting him touch you, letting him come this close. You want to use him, to make him feel some fraction of the anger and hurt that's been simmering inside you since the moment you found out. You're not here to forgive; you're here to take what you want.

Five leans down, his lips pressing a tentative kiss to your inner thigh. You feel his breath, hot against your skin, and it sends a shiver through you despite yourself. Anger and desire mix in a confusing swirl, and you have to bite back a frustrated moan. You shouldn't be feeling this way—not after everything—but your body has other ideas. You're furious with him, with yourself, with how easily he still affects you. His hands slide up your legs, parting them with a gentleness that almost makes you want to scream. It's too soft, too careful, and you can't stand it.

"Don't," you snap, your voice sharp. "Don't pretend this is something it's not. You fucking cheated, I’m gonna use you."

Five's fingers hesitate, his eyes flicking up to yours, searching. But you're not giving him anything—no reassurance, no forgiveness. Not now. Maybe not ever. His touch resumes, more deliberate now, his fingers tracing a path up your thighs. You feel his uncertainty, his regret, and it only stokes the fire inside you. He’s trying to be careful, to tread lightly, but you don't want careful. You want raw. You want him to understand just how much he's hurt you, just how deep the wound goes.

When his lips brush against your core, you don't hold back the sound that escapes you—a moan that's filled with anger as much as it is with desire. It's a sound that tells him everything he needs to know: you're not doing this for him. You're doing this for you. His tongue moves against you, hesitant at first, but you grab his hair roughly, pulling him closer, forcing him to go deeper. If he thinks he can just make it all better with a few soft touches, he's dead wrong.

Your fingers tighten in his hair, and you arch against him, not in surrender, but in command. You're directing this, controlling it, making sure he knows exactly what he's lost, exactly what he threw away when he chose someone else. You grind against his mouth, not giving him a chance to catch his breath. You’re angry, and you want him to feel every bit of it.

He groans against you, his hands gripping your thighs harder, and you can't tell if it's out of pleasure or frustration. Maybe both. Good. Let him feel it. Let him understand that this isn’t about making amends. This is about you taking what you need from him, nothing more.

Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you climb higher, teetering on the edge of a release that feels like it could shatter you—or maybe put you back together. You’re not sure. You only know that you want it, need it, if only to drown out the anger that’s been suffocating you. His tongue moves faster, more desperate, and you can feel him trying to please you, trying to make up for what he’s done. But you don’t want his remorse. You want his surrender.

When you finally let go, it's with a cry that's part pleasure, part anguish—a sound that echoes around the room, raw and unfiltered. Your body shudders against him, every nerve ending sparking with the intensity of your release. You pull his hair harder, dragging him with you as you ride out every wave, every pulse, every ripple of sensation that he’s drawn from you.

As the pleasure fades, you push him away, catching your breath, your heart pounding with a mixture of satisfaction and lingering rage. Five looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of confusion, regret, and something else—maybe longing, maybe loss. You don't care. You're not ready to decipher his feelings. This wasn't about him. This was about you, reclaiming some sense of control.

You reach down his torso, into his underwear, that was still on. Your fingers wrap around his length, feeling him hard and throbbing beneath your touch. Five's breath hitches, a soft groan escaping his lips as you begin to stroke him slowly, deliberately. You can feel his body tensing, responding to your touch despite the anger that still simmers between you.

Your movements are slow, calculated, as you watch Five's reactions closely. His eyes are half-lidded, his breathing shallow, and you can see the conflict in his expression—the desire warring with the guilt. You increase your pace slightly, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction as he struggles to maintain his composure. This is your power now, your control, and you intend to wield it mercilessly.

You tighten your grip, watching as Five's hips involuntarily buck into your hand. His eyes squeeze shut, a low moan escaping his throat. You can feel him trembling beneath your touch, fighting against the pleasure you're giving him. It's intoxicating, this power you hold over him, and for a moment, you consider pushing him further, seeing just how much he can take before he breaks completely.

When his breathing becomes more erratic, you suddenly stop, earning a desperate moan from Five. His eyebrows furrow as he looks into your eyes, confusion and need evident. You smile at him, shaking your head. His gaze holds a mix of frustration and longing, but you relish the moment of dominance.

You lay flat against the bed, peering up at Five. Despite your anger, you can't ignore the fact that this is your first time, while he's had experience. The realization sends a mix of emotions coursing through you - vulnerability, defiance, and a touch of insecurity. "It's my first time, you know," you say, your voice wavering slightly between accusation and confession. "And clearly, you have had experience." The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken implications and the weight of recent betrayals.

Five's expression shifts, a grimace crossing his features as the full impact of your words sinks in. He nods slowly, acknowledging the truth in your statement. For a moment, he seems lost in thought, perhaps grappling with the consequences of his actions. Then, with a deliberate movement, he crawls over you, his arms braced on either side of your head. His gaze is intense, searching, filled with a complex mix of desire, regret, and something that might be longing. He opens his mouth, clearly on the verge of saying something, but you're not ready to hear it. Not now, not when you're balanced on this razor's edge of anger and desire.

You place a firm hand on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm. "Just save it, alright?" you say, your voice low and tinged with a hint of challenge. "Fuck me." The words are both a command and a surrender, a way of taking control even as you give yourself over to the moment.

Five hesitates, his eyes roaming your face as if trying to read your thoughts. You can see the conflict in his expression, the desire warring with concern. But you meet his gaze steadily, unflinching, silently daring him to back down. Finally, finding no uncertainty in your eyes, he positions himself at your entrance. You feel the heat of him, the promise of what's to come, and your breath catches in anticipation.

With a slow, deliberate movement, Five pushes into you. The sensation is overwhelming - a complex blend of pleasure, discomfort, and an intense feeling of fullness that makes you gasp. It's more than just physical; it's emotional too, a connection that feels both right and wrong given the circumstances. Five stills, allowing you time to adjust, his gaze never leaving yours. In his eyes, you see a swirl of emotions - desire, concern, and something deeper that you're not ready to name.

You clench your jaw, trying to suppress a moan as the initial discomfort gives way to a building pleasure. It's intense, almost too much, but you refuse to show any sign of weakness. Five begins to move, his thrusts slow and measured, each one sending waves of sensation through your body. Despite your anger, despite everything that's happened, you can't deny the intensity of the moment, the way your bodies seem to fit together perfectly. It's as if your bodies remember a connection that your minds are trying to forge

A moan escapes your lips, betraying the tumultuous mix of emotions surging within you. You bite down on your lip, determined to keep the upper hand, but it's becoming harder to ignore the mounting pleasure that spreads through you with each of Five's movements.

He maintains his slow, deliberate pace, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for any sign of pain or discomfort. You can see the concern etched across his features, but it only serves to stoke the fire of your anger. You don't want his pity, his guilt, or his regret. You want to take control of this moment, to reclaim your power in the face of the betrayal that still lingers between you.

“Harder,” you grit out, your voice low and demanding. You dig your nails into his back, urging him on. You want to erase everything—his betrayal, your pain, the confusion that lingers in every shared glance.

Five’s breath hitches at your command, his grip on your hips tightening as he adjusts his pace, thrusting deeper, harder. The intensity spikes, a mix of pleasure and pain that sends electric currents through your veins. You arch against him, every nerve alight, every sense heightened. The friction, the heat, the sound of your bodies moving together—it's overwhelming, consuming. The anger that has been a constant presence within you begins to shift, transforming into something raw and primal, a need that you're only now beginning to understand. It's not forgiveness - not by a long shot - but in this moment, the hurt and betrayal fade into the background.

You arch your back, pushing your hips up to meet his movements, matching his rhythm with a newfound intensity. Every sensation is amplified, every touch, every thrust sending you spiraling further into a haze of conflicting emotions. You hate him for what he did, for the pain he caused, but in this moment, all of that fades into the background, leaving only the raw, electric connection between you.

Five's breathing becomes more labored, his grip on your hips tightening as he increases his pace. You feel the pressure building within you, a tight coil that threatens to snap at any moment. Your hands claw at his back, leaving marks in your wake, a physical manifestation of your anger and frustration. You want him to remember this, to carry the evidence of this moment with him, just as you've been forced to carry the weight of his betrayal.

"Is this what you wanted?" you taunt, your voice breathless but defiant. "To fuck me like you did her?"

Five's eyes flash with something you can't quite place—a mix of anger, regret, and a desperation that matches your own. His movements become more erratic, his grip on you almost bruising in its intensity. He leans down, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath hot against your skin. "No," he growls, his voice rough with emotion. "I want you. I've always wanted you."

The words strike a chord deep within you, igniting a fresh wave of conflicting emotions. Part of you wants to believe him, to let yourself be swept away by the intensity of the moment. But the other part, the part that still clings to the pain and betrayal, refuses to let go. You push against his chest, creating a small space between you, just enough to remind him—and yourself—of the distance that still exists between you.

Despite the brief reprieve, the pleasure continues to build, a relentless tide that threatens to pull you under. You feel yourself teetering on the edge, your body tightening with anticipation, and you know that you're close, so close to the release you've been chasing. You dig your nails into his back, urging him on, needing him to push you over that final precipice.

You cling to him, your hands fisting in his hair, pulling him closer. “Don’t you fucking dare stop,” you warn, your voice breaking with the force of your emotions. You need this, this moment where everything else fades away and there’s only the sensation of his body against yours, inside yours.

Five responds with a deep, guttural moan, his face inches from yours. His rhythm becomes more erratic, driven by a mix of desperation and need. His breaths are hot against your skin, his forehead pressed against yours as he moves faster, his thrusts becoming more frantic. The bed creaks beneath you, the sound a rhythm of its own, matching the pulse of your racing heart.

You feel your body tensing, the coil of pleasure tightening, and you know you’re close. You grip Five’s shoulders, holding on as the wave builds, your breaths coming in short, sharp gasps. His name escapes your lips in a broken moan, a sound filled with all the anger, all the need, all the conflicted emotions that have been burning inside you.

His hands roam your body, one slipping between you to find that sensitive spot, his touch sending a shock of pleasure through you. It’s too much, too intense, and you throw your head back, a cry tearing from your throat as you come undone around him, your body convulsing with the force of your climax.

Five’s thrusts grow more uneven, more desperate, as he chases his own release. You feel him tremble, his grip on you tightening as he reaches his peak, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he spills into you, his body collapsing against yours in a tangle of limbs and sweat.

For a moment, the room is filled with nothing but the sound of your ragged breathing, the weight of what just happened settling between you like a heavy fog. Five doesn’t move, his head buried in the crook of your neck, his breaths warm against your skin. You lie there, staring at the ceiling, your mind a whirlwind of emotions.

Eventually, Five pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours for something—understanding, forgiveness, maybe even love. But you’re not ready to give him any of that. Not yet. You turn your head away, your jaw clenched, trying to steady your breathing, trying to ignore the way your heart still races from the intensity of it all.

He tries to move closer, but you place a firm hand on his chest, stopping him cold. The heat of his body against your palm contrasts sharply with the coldness in your voice. “Don’t,” you warn, your tone low and laced with menace. “This doesn’t change anything. You’re still a fucking cheater.”

His eyes widen slightly, a mix of shock and regret flashing across his face. He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he struggles to keep his composure. His gaze drops to the floor, unable to meet yours. The intensity of the moment hangs heavy in the air, the silence between you almost palpable.

You feel a flicker of satisfaction at his obedience, his silent acknowledgment of your terms. His body tenses under your hand, a clear sign that he’s accepted the boundaries you’ve set. Your anger and sense of control are temporarily sated, a bitter victory in the aftermath of your cathartic release.

The room is filled with the soft, ragged breaths of both of you, the aftermath of your shared moment lingering in the charged atmosphere. You've gotten what you wanted—at least for now.

“Get out,” you command, your voice firm and unyielding.

He opens his mouth to protest, a “But—” escaping his lips, but you cut him off with a sharp shake of your head. “Leave me alone, Five.”

He hesitates, his eyes darting between you and the door. “We just fucked. Are you sure about this?” he asks, a mix of confusion and vulnerability in his voice. You stare at him coldly, the remnants of your anger still simmering beneath the surface. “I’m sure. Just go.”

He swallows hard, clearly torn, but he nods slowly, turning to gather his clothes. The silence that follows is heavy, each breath a reminder of the intensity of what just transpired. As he exits, the door closes behind him with a soft click, leaving you alone in the stillness.

Tears slip down your cheeks, unbidden. Why do you love him so much?

[ccieatchildren]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[whxre4hange]

hargreeves family & their youtube channel headcanons

op note: guys i have uni tomorrow and i have 50 pages of readings to get through and im doing this instead t-t and THERE WILL BE MORE THIS HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA SO ENJOYYY and if u have any reqs and stuff hmu x

luther: "big guy lifts big things"

luther’s channel is still 90% him lifting random objects, but now he’s started taking requests from subscribers. his latest video is titled “can i deadlift a vending machine full of expired tuna cans?” (spoiler: it broke his toe).

he tried to do a live q&a once, but klaus hacked the stream and kept typing questions like “why are you so sweaty all the time?” and “is it true you’re dating a moon rock?” luther didn’t realize it was klaus until halfway through and was answering all of the questions with great sincerity.

his cooking tutorial series is now called “protein with the pro :D,” and every episode ends with him yelling, “this is fine!” while something burns in the background. 

he uploaded a vlog titled “day in the life of number one” that was just him sitting alone in his room for 24 hours, eating protein bars, and crying over pictures of the moon. fans thought it was satire, but it wasn’t.

diego: "knives out (but worse)"

diego’s channel has devolved into pure chaos. he doesn’t even try to edit his videos anymore—half of them are just him yelling at random objects while throwing knives at them. one video is literally titled “can i fight a toaster?” (the toaster won btw. dont ask how).

he started a series called “knife or not a knife,” where he throws random objects at walls to see if they stick. episode three featured klaus dressed as a piñata, screaming, “i’m not a knife, diego!”

he once uploaded a video called “how to be a vigilante” but got distracted halfway through and spent 20 minutes ranting about why batman’s cape is impractical.

most popular video is a 20-minute rant about why pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza, which unexpectedly went viral (he didn’t mean to post it)

klaus: "ghosts & giggles"

klaus’s channel has somehow gotten even weirder. one video starts with him trying to summon marilyn monroe and ends with him accidentally summoning reginald, who spends the entire video yelling, “seriously, number 4?” while klaus laughs uncontrollably.

every time ben possesses him for content, klaus makes it as awkward as possible by saying things like, “oh no, ben’s making me fart again!” ben hates it but can’t stop him.

he uploaded a 10-hour loop of himself dancing in a fur coat to elevator music while holding an empty wine bottle labeled “ghost juice.” it has 8 million views for no reason.

his fans keep asking for ghost-hunting content, but klaus refuses because he says ghosts are “too clingy.” instead, he uploads videos of himself talking to random objects and pretending they’re haunted (“this spoon just told me its tragic backstory”).

allison: "rumor has it i’m amazing"

allison’s channel is now 50% lifestyle content and 50% her using her rumor power for increasingly dumb challenges. her latest video is titled “i heard a rumor my brother ate an entire watermelon whole,” featuring luther crying while trying to eat the rind.

she once tried to film a morning routine vlog, but klaus kept running into the bathroom yelling, “do ghosts poop???” she gave up halfway through and uploaded it anyway.

her most viral video is called “siblings try asmr,” where five whispers insults into the mic (“you smell like failure”), diego yells directly into the mic (“IS THIS RELAXING?!”), and klaus eats chips so loudly that viewers reported headaches ….and the channel.

she started a prank war with lila by uploading fake rumors about her (“i heard a rumor lila can’t spell ‘knife’”), which led to lila breaking into her house and replacing all her coffee with hot sauce.

ben: "dead but make it content"

ben’s channel has officially gone off the rails because klaus keeps uploading nonsense on his behalf. one video is titled “ben reacts to cheese,” where klaus eats different cheeses while pretending to be ben (“mmm yes this gouda reminds me of my tragic death”).

fans keep asking for serious content from ben, so he uploaded one video called “existential dread: part 1” that was just 30 minutes of silence followed by him knocking over a glass of water in frustration (via ghost powers). fans called it groundbreaking art.

his most popular series is now called “ben roasts humanity,” where klaus narrates ben’s sarcastic commentary on random internet trends (“why are people eating tide pods? even ghosts think that’s stupid.”).

once uploaded a black screen with the title “i’m haunting you rn lol.” fans reported strange noises in their houses afterward, but klaus swears it wasn’t him (it was).

five: "temporal tantrums"

five’s channel has become an unhinged mix of time travel lectures and angry coffee reviews. his latest upload is titled “this coffee tastes like betrayal,” where he screams at a barista for giving him decaf.

he started a series called “timeline fails,” where he roasts historical events for being dumb (“who thought inventing crocs was a good idea? humanity peaked with fire.”).

once uploaded a tutorial called “how to fight yourself in another timeline” that ended with him accidentally punching diego because he got too into the demonstration. diego still hasn’t forgiven him.

his most infamous video is titled “ranking my siblings from least annoying to most annoying.” luther cried when he saw he was ranked #1 most annoying, while klaus celebrated being ranked #2 because he thought it meant five liked him more than luther (he doesn’t).

viktor: "silent but deadly (violin edition)"

viktor’s channel looks calm on the surface—just violin covers of sad songs—but every title is passive-aggressive chaos like “a song for when your family forgets you exist” or “ode to my emotionally unavailable dad.”

once uploaded an hour-long vlog called “my siblings are insane” that was just footage of everyone screaming at each other while viktor sat quietly in the corner drinking tea. fans call it cinema verité; viktor calls it tuesday.

his most viral video is titled “oops i destroyed the moon again,” which features dramatic slow-motion footage of explosions set to classical music while klaus yells in the background.

started uploading cryptic videos with titles like “revenge symphony no. 5” that are just close-ups of his violin strings while ominous music plays. fans are terrified but can’t stop watching.

reginald: "the monocle diaries"

reginald’s channel has fully embraced its accidental meme status. one video is titled “why my children are disappointments,” where he lists their flaws while sipping tea. fans turned it into a remix called #disappointingdadcore that went viral on tiktok.

tried to do an unboxing video for an ancient artifact but got mad halfway through because pogo forgot to bring scissors. and he couldn’t get the tripod working. ended up smashing the box open with his cane while yelling about incompetence.

once accidentally went live while arguing with pogo about bananas (“i told you they belong on the LEFT side of the pantry!”). fans still quote this as proof reginald has no chill.

somehow has 15 million subscribers because people can’t decide if he’s an evil genius or just really bad at being human (it’s both).

lila: "chaos gremlin energy"

lila doesn’t have her own channel—she just hacks into everyone else’s accounts to upload dumb pranks like replacing all of diego’s knife tutorials with footage of herself juggling bananas while yelling, “look at me! i’m number two now!”

once uploaded herself stealing all of luther’s sweaters and replacing them with crop tops labeled “moon boy chic.” luther cried when he found out but wore one anyway because he didn’t have anything else clean.

her most chaotic upload was titled “how many knives can i steal before diego notices?” which ended with diego chasing her around the house screaming while she yelled back, “you’ll never catch me alive!”

keeps threatening to start her own channel called "better than allison," but she gets bored halfway through filming every time and ends up eating snacks instead.

[inkspiredwriting]

Game Night Gone Awry

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Five Hargreeves had been looking forward to this night for weeks. For once, it wasn't about averting an apocalypse or dealing with family drama—it was about a simple game night with his siblings and his girlfriend, Y/N. He hoped it would be a chance for everyone to relax and have some fun together.

"Welcome to the Hargreeves Family Game Night!" Klaus announced dramatically as he opened the door for Y/N. "Prepare yourself for an evening of treachery and betrayal, my dear."

Y/N laughed, giving Klaus a hug. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for having me."

Five appeared behind Klaus, rolling his eyes. "Ignore him. He takes game night way too seriously."

"Only because it's the one night I get to be a true villain," Klaus said with a wink. "Now, let's get this party started!"

They gathered around the large dining table, which was already set up with a Monopoly board. Luther, Allison, Diego, Viktor, and Ben were all there, ready to play. Y/N took a seat next to Five, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

As the game began, it quickly became clear that Klaus had no intention of playing fair. He palmed extra money from the bank, swapped properties when no one was looking, and sweet-talked his way into shady deals.

"Klaus, you can't just take money whenever you feel like it," Diego complained, catching him in the act.

"What? I'm merely redistributing wealth," Klaus said innocently, stuffing the bills into his pile.

"More like embezzling," Allison said, laughing.

The game grew increasingly chaotic. Diego accused Luther of hoarding properties, Viktor got into a heated debate with Ben about the rules, and Allison tried to mediate while also attempting to build her own monopoly.

Meanwhile, Five and Y/N watched the chaos unfold with amused disbelief. "I told you it would be interesting," Five said, leaning over to whisper in Y/N's ear.

"You weren't kidding," Y/N replied, shaking her head with a smile.

Things took a turn for the worse when Diego, frustrated by Klaus's antics, flipped the board, sending pieces flying everywhere. "That's it! I'm done with this game!"

Luther sighed, rubbing his temples. "Diego, calm down. It's just a Game."

"Yeah, but it's not fun when someone's cheating," Diego shot back, glaring at Klaus.

"Cheating? Me? How dare you!" Klaus said, but his grin gave him away.

One by one, the siblings left the table, either too annoyed or too amused to continue. Eventually, it was just Five and Y/N sitting among the scattered pieces of the game.

Five looked at Y/N, a mix of apology and amusement in his eyes. "Well, that escalated quickly."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. "Your family sure knows how to make game night memorable."

Five started to clean up the mess, and Y/N helped, the two of them working in comfortable silence. Once everything was back in order, they sat back down at the table, sipping their drinks and enjoying the relative peace.

"Despite the chaos, I'm glad you came," Five said, reaching across the table to take Y/N's hand.

"I'm glad I came too," Y/N replied, squeezing his hand. "It was actually a lot of fun. Your family is... unique, but I like them."

Five smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly. "They'll grow on you. Just like you did on me."

Y/N laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I look forward to more chaotic game nights with you."

Five wrapped his arm around her, feeling a rare sense of contentment. "As long as we always end up like this, I'll take all the chaos in the world."

And so, amid the remnants of a disastrous game night, Five and Y/N found their own little slice of peace and happiness.

[olicohens]

oh no you guys. i’m going to spew things i’ve realized while rewatching umbrella academy. I’m realizing were all being too sucked into fanon things after being stuck without canon content for so long. We have convinced ourselves Five acts like a mean mean dude to everyone but rewatching, i’ve realized he’s only stressed and is saying things out of panicked anger, especially in s1 with the apocalypse dooming over them. he acts soft to his siblings multiple times, he’s really not as mean as we write him in fanfiction. he is a little crap though, that’s for sure, and i love him for that <3

also realizing that the siblings don’t hate five. they just literally don’t know him at all. he came back a completely different person after 17 years for the siblings, they don’t know five, he’s a stranger so of course they’re gonna be cold to him. it’s like, “i don’t know you well, but you’re always going to be my brother in the end”.

ALSO. for those who ship some of the siblings, uhm… i’ve seen a lot of you guys try to prove that they don’t see eachother as siblings and more like academy students, but they very much say in just about every episode that they see eachother as siblings. they don’t actually SAY that word by word but they say things like “she’s our sister”, or “our dad”. if they say OUR dad… bro. i’m not even going to continue, you can put it together yourself. But, i do realize why people ship the siblings. I am not defending incest shippers but with umbrella academy i can see why people have resorted to it. only 3 of the characters in the main sibling cast has romantic partners. people like shipping people, people love writing romantic relationships, but with only diego/lila, dave/klaus, and sissy/viktor, (i’m not going to count five/dolores for now) people are desperate with the need to ship the rest of the siblings with someone, and since there are only a few actual canon characters in the show that interact with our main 7, people start shipping them together… yikes. anywho, that’s all for that peice. i blame the show writers as well for shipping luther/allison, they did not have to do that, but i’m hoping it was only to convey the severity of what childhood trauma does to people.

ALSO THIS HERE SHOOK ME. I actually think Reginald cares for the siblings. i hate to say it, but it’s true. caring for them does not mean being good, though. he was a horrible father, and person, but he genuinely did care for the siblings, in a like, “being the best is the best thing for you, i will make you better, for your sake, even if you don’t know it now, you will see that i am right” kind of way.

also why has NOBODY MENTIONED THIS. in season 2 when diego first reunites with five in the asylum, while he’s walking into the visitors room, he’s staring at five with this heartfelt, soft look, and then says “five…” in the most soft spoken voice ever 😭 your honor i love them

ALSO UGHHH THIS. IM GOING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT CAMERAWORK AND METAPHORS HERE SO BARE WITH ME. we as a fandom complain about the lack of flashbacks five has due to his ptsd. we’ve seen his first flashback since getting back to his family in s1 during the van scene when he gets triggered by those kids playing and starts thinking about his own childhood, i’m guessing. i ate that scene up, and was sad to see that be one of the only deeply vulnerable scenes he has in the season, and during my first watch i thought they’d never bring it back up. but they do!! i may be stupid for not realizing but whatever. in season 2, when five is trying to explain at elliot’s with all his siblings around that another apocalypse is coming, everyone starts talking about each other. as someone who studies film and camerawork, i love this scene. we see the camera focus on five as it slowly zooms in. it doesn’t switch scenes at all as the siblings voices overlap and echo over eachother. this whole scene conveys him getting overwhelmed and he starts to zone out, starting to think of the nuclear war he saw his siblings in. the scenes of the war start quickly switching through, showing many different scenes of it before it switches back to five, who says “guys, you all die. i want to forget it but i can’t” which just UGH its so well done there. if you think about it, he was starting to slip into another flashback. he was triggered by talking about their deaths in the war but was handling it well until the siblings started fighting, where we see the overlapping voices happen. it portrays him losing control and being unable to pull it back together with too much going on for him to focus on grounding himself. we DO however, see that five was able to pull himself out before he fell too deep into the flashback. i love how they show this through them still having the scene showing the war, but then fives voice starts talking over the scene which is still focusing on the war as if he was pushing it back and forcing himself to come back to the present.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, i will continue to freak out another time <3

[lookingforhappy]

Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven - Transcript

(note that there is a lot of random placements & repeated paragraphs. I've tried to connect as much of it as possible, and cut out repetitions to make it flow a little better. Hope this is enjoyable/interesting!)

as much content as I could find from Viktor's book transcribed in one post, picture credit to the TUA Prop Auction:

EXTRA ORDINARY MY LIFE AS NUMBER SEVEN AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY VANYA HARGREEVES Vanya Hargreeves is well known for her virtuosic skills as a violinist. Less understood is the role she played as one of Reginald Hargreeves' adopted children, standing alongside - but never counted among - the famous Umbrella Academy super kids. This is her story, in her own words. "An incredible read... a revealing portal into the amazing life of Vanya Hargreeves and the life she has lived. I couldn't put it down!" -Gerard Way

Vanya Hargreeves is well known for her virtuosic skills as a violinist. Less understood is the role she played as one of Reginald Hargreeves' adopted children, standing alongside - but never counted among - the famous Umbrella Academy super kids. This is her story, in her own words. Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven is a tell-all autobiography by one of the central figures of Reginald Hargreeves experimental and tragic team of heroic children, collectively know as the Umbrella Academy team. In this book, Vanya, ready to expose the truths behind the Academy's operation prior to it's disbanding in the mid-late 2000's, goes all in. With stories and anecdotes from her many years in the shadows. Vanya Hargreeves pulls no punches. No stone is left unturned, and no other member of the team is left unmentioned, for good or for ill.

Chapter One Our parting was sad, but natural in the end. I think about the circumstances of out vastly different births all the time. I've read the newspapers. I've seen the evidence. But at the same time I can't believe any of it. Even if Allison, Luther and all the rest of them were born and collected like the papers say, how did I become a part of this extraordinary family? Was I a dud, an unfortunate super-child who wasn't set up with the right circuitry? Or did I even come from the circle of miraculously born children at all? It made the most sense of any of my theories: a young mother, terrified by a future with a child she couldn't afford, saw the world-wide birth announcement, followed by Hargreeves' request and reward sum. I went through life cursing my mother, determined she was a money-grubbing con artist who sold me away to an eccentric, cold man who couldn't even use me for the purposes he set out. I was carted off like cattle and sequestered to a young life of self-doubt, all because my mother had wanted a payday more than she wanted me. I only sought out my birth mother once. All these news stories kept the identities of the traumatized mothers tightly under wraps, of course, but those were in the upstanding

publications. I believe that any detail about human history, if salacious or powerful enough to cause harm, can be found with the right kind of determination. I found a list of names, and scoured each for signs: did she have a boy or a girl? What had she done with her earnings from Hargreeves? Had she had other children? Where was she now? Two of the women could have lined up with my birth: Allison and I were the only female babies "found" by Hargreeves. It was easy to narrow down once I found pictures of them both: the woman with my hair, and my nose, lived in a small town off the Southern coast of Russia. At least, according to what I could find. I convinced Hargreeves that we needed to take the team there to train, after extensively researching the area's high mountains and secluded trails. It was perfect, and miraculously, he agreed! Thinking back, I wonder if he knew exactly what I was up to and wanted to help. We stayed for five days, and as the others sweated and trained, I kept records, and occasionally went off on my own. For any of the academy members to question Hargreeves' strict schedule or participate in non-approved "free" time would have been unacceptable. But as for me, I wasn't on the schedule in the first place. We spent enough time in Russia for me to track my birth mother down. I took buses, spoke what broken Russian I could to locals, and finally came to the house where I had been told she would be. We spent enough time in Russia for me to learn that the mother I had spent years searching for had died. The family of hers, and I guess of mine, who greeted me there invited me in. They seemed harmless and even kind. But I couldn't stay. Whether my mother knew I wasn't special or not, I realized I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hate a dead person any longer. Now I knew she was gone, it seemed pointless anyway. I've found that focussing on the past can only hurt me further. It's not worth spending any more of my time on the people who have all but forgotten me. I haven't gotten a call

from Allison in years, Diego's out fighting crime, Klaus has been partying himself into a stupor ever since we left the house, and Five is gone. Luther's the only one of us who stayed. I envied him for so many years growing up: Number One, the group's true leader. But now I pity him. Luther could have been anything: he could have had the fame Allison did. He could have gone wild like Klaus. He could have taken to the streets and fought against evil himself like Diego... but he stayed to become Hargreeves' pet. In the end, there was nothing really connecting the seven of us. We weren't related. We were nothing alike. We were just seven strangers living under the same roof: destined to be alone, starved for attention, damaged by our upbringing, and haunted by what might have been. We all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love. Our father never missed an opportunity to remind me that I was ordinary - a hard thing for a little girl to hear. But lately I've started to wonder - what's so bad about being ordinary? From the second we're born we're told to reach for the stars. To accomplish great things. But there is a value in life lived quietly. Going about our days, little by little. Finding contentment in small victories - a promotion, a friend, a beautiful day. Sometimes, the simple things are extraordinary.

so-called rumours about Allison and Luther, no pun intended, I can't say for sure. I'd like to think that what they have transcends words - when we were kids, it was just obnoxious. They spoke in code, swapped whispers. They were part of a world in which we weren't allowed. But as we got older I realised it wasn't some fantasy world they were playing in. Their minds were off somewhere else together. They shared looks and gestures that were meaningless to the rest of us... save maybe Klaus, who can be oddly perceptive when you least expect him to. But as for a romantic relationship between the two of them, that's none of my business. Frankly, I don't want to know. Adopted or not, if it were two of your siblings, would you want to picture that? Their secret conversations were the first sign of what was to come: watching the two of them so happy together, and acutely knowing I could never belong would become an intimate feeling in my life. Soon, they were together on missions. They were training all afternoon. And they were playing games I couldn't learn the rules to. It was all too obvious that there was a club for children with superpowers, and ordinary children like me were decidedly barred. I would say it was Dad who implemented all of this. He caused my alienation through procedures, through harsh rules that we all followed for fear of the alternative. And to an extent, that's all true. I can't forgive what he did to me - but sometimes I wonder where Dad's actions ended and my siblings' began. When you consider what a mind, especially a young mind, will absorb and harness when put into dire situations, it's not at all difficult to believe that my siblings learned cruelty from Dad until they eventually made it their own. It wasn't just the rules keeping me out of top-secret meetings anymore. It just made sense that I should sit at the end of the table, so Diego could help Five's technique, or so Allison could paint Klaus' fingernails. I became accustomed to sulking and watching them from afar - most of my morning oatmeal went uneaten and but thoroughly picked at.

Meals became the one time of day we were all forced to be together - and I met them with equal parts anticipation and dread. Would today be the day I engaged Allison? Could I stand up to Diego's taunts? Maybe I'd show Five the musical piece I'd been working on for weeks. Though prone to arrogance and outbursts, even more than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidante in the years before he disappeared. It almost seemed fitting that of all the siblings to leave us, it would be him who I fully trusted, and who fully trusted me. Five was almost always one step ahead of Dad's manipulations, and he didn't play into the games of favourites like my other siblings. Five always told me that ego was man's most unattractive weakness - he thought himself above competing for fatherly love and prizes. Even then he was beyond his years. I think about Five often, and where he is now. The others say he's dead, caught in a terrible accident, or shredded up in the time space continuum. But I know Five, and I know he was too smart for that. Reckless, maybe, but he's brilliant. I wouldn't be surprised if he were living it up in the seventies now... but hippie hash wasn't really his style. For all I know he's gone to the future and never looked back. If he has, and he's happy, then I am happy for him. I'm sure none of us can say we never had a moment where we wished we could escape. Not just run away, but also go somewhere where Dad couldn't track us down and pull us back into his web. Surprisingly, I only ran away once. Despite everything, it took so much for me to believe I could belong anywhere else but the home in which I was abused. Shortly after Five dissappeared, I took his lead. It was about time I saw what's out there. But I knew nothing other than what I had been taught about myself and my life: I was simply not special. But I asked myself on that day: What if I was special, to somebody else? The rest of the world was ordinary. Maybe the real world was where I belonged all along.

One morning, I left the Academy - my bag stuffed to the gills with clothes, snacks, and mementos I couldn't leave behind. I think I even brought a dream catcher, for fear of nightmares from home following me wherever I went. I only made it to a bus stop, and I sat there all day long - and strangely, for the first time in my life, it hit me that I was completely alone. I had thought I was alone my entire life, but this was something new and entirely different. I was afraid of what I didn't know, and would choose Dad's torment any day over the endless dark that stretched down our street. Buses came, but I waved the kind drivers away. That night, I walked back through the front doors, and no one knew I had ever left in the first place. I wonder how long it would have taken them to realize - the extra girl they never needed was absent. Would it have made a difference? To this day, I'm not sure. The next time I left that house was when we all did. After what happened to Ben. Our everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad had stepped into treating us like experiments. Not as children, but like animals. And what happened to Ben was the last straw that finally shattered the illusion for the others. I regret that though I knew all along what they realised that day, I didn't have the spine to leave on my own. It wasn't until Allison took off for Hollywood and Diego cursed out the old man for good that I realized we were, ultimately, a broken family.

I had always kept up hope that my family would accept me into the fold. I thought that as long as there was a club to belong to, one day they would notice me and invited me in. Everyone would apologize: Vanya, we can't believe we wasted so much time without you, you're our sister after all. But it was then that I realized something massive: there was nothing for me to aspire to be anymore. It was liberating - the life that I had wanted for as long as I could remember was had finally fallen apart. Without "The Umbrella Academy," I had the freedom to be whomever I chose. Suddenly, my violin playing wasn't stupid - it was something that made me special in the real world. It made me enough money to afford an apartment - it's small but it's mine. It got me into an orchestra, a position I got all on my own talents. This meant I could teach young people how to be special for themselves. Teaching became my passion - my own, personal super power. I treated my students how I had always wished my father had treated me: I trained them, I listened to their problems, and I made sure each of them felt loved in their own, special way. Teaching may seem such a small profession to many, but it became the best part of my life.

[5five5five5five5five5five]

Bored take some Viktor five content:

* five and Viktor end up being roommates due to everyone else not having the strong tolerance to handle his ass. Viktor doesn't either but they wanted to go back to the start and rebuild a dynamic after all the chaos and drama.

* they end up getting really close. It's easier for Viktor to listen to five talk about his past now that they have experienced all sorts of weird shit and five is less bitter about viktor's new found independence and choices now that the world is saved.

* I hc that five has trouble using Viktor's preferred name and five HATES IT. It's not to be disrespectful or not understanding gender, he's all cool and very respectful. It's that when you have truama as deep rooted as his, calling out his siblings names on a daily basis in a lonely ruined world for 40 years. Carrying around viktor's book as a lifeline to stay close to him....it's just not something your brain can let go. he wants to let it go, he feels like a ass everytime he slips and apologizes like 3 times even when Viktor said it's ok. his truama CLINGs to viktor's dead name like his life depends on it. He does get better at it as they start live together and it was a 1/9 chance anyway so Viktor wasn't too bugged by it and understood that it's not meant to be disrespectful. Trauma's a bitch. They both get that.

* they take turns making lunch and dinners. Breakfast is always coffee and peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches.

* Five starts collecting vintage cook books because he's had food from other timelines that aren't as popular anymore and wishes to make them.

* Viktor LOVES Chappell Roan. Five is unimpressed but likes watching Viktor just jam out well doing chores or studying.

*Viktor would drag five to a lot of queer centric events and five would feel out of place at first like "I'm your 60 year old straight cisgendered brother that looks 15. I don't fit in and I don't think that drag show bouncer is going to be as lenient as that strip club in the 60's...long story." But over time, five actually starts to enjoy himself. And maybe learning his gender and sexuality along the way (I don't have strong opinions on that yet. All ik is he's such a fruit and has no idea /pos. When Viktor and Klaus are your favorite siblings....ask yourself whyyy)

* they host small dinners with a handful of siblings at a time. They can't host all of them at once due to their apartment size (it would be a disaster) but sometimes Diego, Lila and the kids come over. Or just Luther with fast food well he was walking home. I think the biggest group would be brother nights (sorry Allison....i feel so bad for her lmao I think her and Lila hang out on those nights. )

* five and Viktor realized that giving the other puppy eyes breaks the other easily. I think both have trouble saying no to the other due to feeling bad about how much they fought and were butting heads throughout Dallas and the hotel. Five doesn't want to let his bs behavior under "gotta save the world" distress linger between them. And Viktor doesn't either, he also misses his brother and just wants to see him happy and relaxed for once.

*that doesn't mean they don't fight. They bicker consistently about such basic things . From where the remote is to when the other will be home to the past. They don't don't do a good job at not throwing the past in each others face......but they useally settle down.

*Viktor LOVES to try and use therapy talk with five, who hates it at first. But overtime, I think after a very strong breakthrough in his issues and realizing how much not being under survival adrenaline is effecting him, he becomes more accepting of it. And it's helped their fighting and understanding each other a lot.

* I feel like they get rather touchy together over time. Fixing each others hair, leaning on the other well sitting on the sofa, etc

*five has to tie viktor's ties ALL THE TIME.

*(tw drugs) I feel like they have "rekindling our Lost teen years together" nights where they get high (they only take edibles bc neither like smoking) and watch all the cartoons five has missed. Wear comfy clothes. Talk about nothing. They try to make it a point to talk about anything BUT family and the past. Witch helps them grow closer.

*five wants bees. They have no room. Five is very sad. Viktor hopes they one day get a bigger place to have bees.

* five gets a emotional support animal with viktor's help. mr.pennycrumb! They do all the training and five loves that boy with his life. He really helps him with episodes and panics.

* Viktor ends up helping five with rather basic things. Again, no more survival adrenaline to make him speed learn everything all the time. He can afford to be confused and frustrated. "Egh How does the tv remote work again?" "The pepper grinder has stopped wo- oh the other direction..." Five starts to feel rather useless but Viktor likes helping. five bitterly jokes at Viktor being either his elderly care nurse or babysitter. Viktor reassures him it's not like that and they are just brothers and he needs help.

* Viktor gets into the habit of calling five "bud" as a loving brother pet name.

I've ran out of brain fuel. I could go on for hours about them though.

(PRO SHIPS DNI THIS IS ALL PLATONIC)

[fivewantscoffee]

So, Five x Lila. I need to get this out of my system so I can maybe finally move on:

I don't like the ship.

I don't like the characters together. I find the pairing a baffling one, and I don't like what it does to the show (and characters) either.

First of all, that wasn't Lila. I don't know who it was, but it wasn't the woman we saw off at the end of S3, or even the one we started off S4 with.

It just wasn't her.

You can blame trauma, or six years of being on the move. That's going to change a person, for sure, but this wasn't about giving Lila any character development.

It was about giving Five a love interest.

Because that life? Yeah. I could see it for Five. I could see him deciding to settle down and take life slow, I could see him being sweet and domestic with a partner should he have one. After he's had some time to heal, now that he's finally free of the apocalypse, I could see that for Five.

But Lila? She was unhappy in her marriage, at least partly because the domestic, stay-at-home-mum life has proven to be something that doesn't fulfil her. She wants more out of life, which is why "bookclub" happened, which is why she ended up in the subway with Five in the first place.

And okay. For the sake of argument, let's go with this. Let's say Five x Lila happened so they could cope with their situation. It was survival, like Lila said. If we were going to have to endure this bad, messy plot point anyway, (which we didn't, we really, really didn't), it should at least have been treated with the seriousness it deserves.

Because, Five? The complete, callous lack of remorse on his part? What the fuck was that?

Even if you pick through the crumbs and try to make it make sense, this wasn't a romance. At best it was survival, and coping, and kind of a tragedy all at once. Five shouldn't be picking fights with Diego. He shouldn't be acting like a spurned twenty-something-year-old.

And yeah, characters can be flawed and in the wrong, but why like this? This didn't feel like Five to me. He is brusque and, when looked at it from a certain angle, I can see why some would call him selfish (which I don't necessarily agree with, but that's a different conversation), but under all his layers, he does love his family. To me, that's the core of his character and has been since S1. Everything he's done, he's done to ensure their survival, then when he agreed to give up in S3, he was content to simply die by their sides.

So, you're telling that this Five, the one we've known and followed for three seasons, had a fling with Lila and didn't even feel guilty or conflicted about it? You're telling me loved this woman, yet was willing to keep her from her family, her children?

"Five is selfish" "Five is tired" "Five is finally moving on"

No. Not like that. To me, the Five from previous seasons (S2 specifically, because that's where a lot of it goes wrong) is only "selfish" in that he wants his family to survive and is willing to go to any lengths to achieve that. He's not exactly compassionate about Allison and Viktor having to leave Ray and Sissy behind. And yeah, he leaves Diego in the asylum because he doesn't want him messing with the timeline.

Is he in the wrong for that? Answer this any way you want, but I don't think it matters to Five. Does he want his siblings to be happy? In my opinion, of course he does, but they're not going to be happy if they're dead.

That's not the same as what S4 does. Not by a long shot. Five cares deeply about those he loves, and granted, he is pretty bad at showing it, but he does care.

He nearly worked himself into the grave trying to solve the first two apocalypses, with little regard for his own well-being. When he realised a third apocalypse was happening, he didn't say fuck it and continue his Pennsylvania retirement road trip... he immediately dropped everything to try and fix it.

So how did we get to S4 Five, who got with his brother's wife, found a way home, didn't tell Lila, AND THEN, after he finally gave her the notebook and they went back, he acts like that?

Yeah, no. That's not my Five.

Also, five x lila happening isn't Five moving on. If anything, it's how he copes with the situation they're in. That's just his Delores 2.0.

Anyway, all of this is moot because the fact of the matter is, they chose to make this happen. Five and Lila getting stuck in the subway together for seven years didn't have to happen.

I don't know.

This used to be a show about family. It also used to be a show about the effects of child abuse on this group of siblings. This started to fall to the wayside after S1, but the family aspect of it still remained.

At its core, tua has always been about family, so what was the point of making S4 at all if this is what they were going to give us?

It's not just Five x Lila. They messed this up across the board, with how flippantly the absence of Sloane and Ray was treated, how shallow and surface-level all of the rest was. They gave us some crumbs with Klaus and Allison, but they couldn't even do that without retconning their entire relationship. That's not even mentioning the ending. The Hargreeves all sacrificing themselves in the end could have worked, but this was not the way to do it.

Anyway, this rant is over. S1 Five, you'll always be famous to me.

[pluviophiles]

umbrella academy season 4 ending - rewritten (PART 1)

since we were absolutely robbed this season, i felt the need to publish my own little version of the tua s4 ending. im sure it's riddled with plot holes, but it does give me a bit of satisfaction after watching whatever the tom fuckery happened in the last season.

warnings : tua s4 spoilers, wordbuilding, unpolished writing

... as luther, diego, allison, klaus, five, viktor, and lila are slowly engulfed by the monstrous blob, there is a blinding flash of gold. the scene cuts to black. [after a short pause] hard cut to BEN sitting on the subway - the very same scene we saw in s3 post-credits. it plays out the same way we've seen before, yet continues even after ben looks up from the book in hand. the train slowly comes to a stop, presumably having arrived at a station. cut to the subway door, which slowly opens. enter KLAUS, and then DAVE. the two of them converse, cheerily, hand-in-hand. klaus walks straight past ben, and the audience realizes that, in this timeline, the umbrella siblings are complete strangers. the two of them sit down several feet away from ben. as klaus reaches for dave, the audience can see a newly-inked tattoo on his forearm - a marigold. the camera pans back to ben, zoomed further in. now, the audience can see that, on the side of his glasses, there is a small, bedazzled marigold design. a flash of recognition can be seen in ben's eyes. he scrunches his eyebrows together, as if trying to piece together two foreign pieces of information. the camera pans again, revealing JENNIFER in the seat across from ben. JENNIFER ben… is everything alright? ben shakes his head slightly, unsure of himself. BEN it's nothing. [he clears his throat, and with more conviction, repeats, ] it's nothing. jennifer is clearly unconvinced, but decides to drop the subject for now. cut to the subway door once more, and the rest of the umbrellas file in, one-by-one. first, ALLISON, with CLAIRE and RAY. the three of them sit down in one far corner of the car; a happy family. as the light shifts, allison's necklace glints and shimmers. (design? a marigold.) then, DIEGO and LILA with their three kids. as they sit down, GRACE shyly pulls out a marigold flower, handing it to her parents. GRACE [incoherent] ...for you. diego takes it with a huge grin on his face and tucks it behind lila's ear. the latter bends down to plant a kiss on her daughter's forehead. after them came LUTHER. he was by his lonesome, but sat down near a beautiful woman - SLOANE. clumsily, he brushes up against her, and quickly offers awkward apologies. they fall into a comfortable conversation. the audience can see that here, he has a watch similar to the one reginald originally gifted him, with a marigold in its center. VIKTOR comes in, trailing behind SISSY and HARLAN. the two of them are now married, with matching stones set on their fingers. viktor is donning dark blue jean jacket, an embroidered marigold at the top. the last one to the party is FIVE. however, here, he is no longer a teenager. instead, he has gotten to live his life like the rest of his family, and is now at the ripe age of 35. he sits down with his partner, who the audience recognizes as DELORES. hazily, he wraps his arm around her. he's wearing a suit as per usual, with the addition of a marigold brooch. each of the seven siblings seem to be in their own bubbles, suggesting that they finally reached contentment. still, they are connected together by the marigold, even if it is no longer inside of them. in this timeline, the umbrellas were almost the opposite of dysfunctional. perhaps the problem was never them, but reginald. for, here, the seven of them flourished.

(PART 2 SOON TO COME)

[atriza]

The Spiral of Punishment pt.9

Yandere Five Hargreeves x Reader

Part 8

Summary: Y/N awakens in severe pain, still reeling from Five's violent punishment for their failed escape. When Five reappears, he forces the protagonist into a humiliating public display in front of the rest of the Hargreeves family. Despite the visible discomfort and unease of his siblings, none intervene. Five escalates his torment by forcing the protagonist to kneel and kiss the floor as a symbol of their submission. After the public humiliation, Five drags the protagonist back to their room, furiously berating them for embarrassing him. His control over them becomes more sadistic as he declares them his possession and toy, something he can break repeatedly without ever letting go.

Word Count: 1,113 words

**Content Warning:**

This story contains dark and potentially distressing themes, including obsessive behavior, violence, manipulation, and psychological distress. It portrays a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic, where one character exhibits controlling and possessive tendencies that lead to extreme actions.

If you are sensitive to these themes or find them triggering, please consider skipping this story.

Have Fun Reading!

The next time you woke, the pain was the first thing that hit you, like a freight train smashing into your ribs. Your body felt like tt had been through hell, every muscle screaming tin agony The fresh cuts on your arm burned with a searing heat, the letters of Five's name still oozing blood, branding you like Property.

You tried to move, but it was futile. Five's presence was an oppressive weight even when he wasn’t in the room. You were trapped, not just by him physically, but by the relentless violence that haunted every moment you spent under his control.

But this time was different. There was a hardness in his eyes now, a deeper darkness. The nights before had been brutal, but after your failed escape attempt, he had truly snapped

He didn't just want to own you. He wanted to make sure you knew, without a doubt, that you were nothing without him

Later that day, Five returned. His eyes gleamed with an intensity that made your stomach churn. He hadn't said a word since the punishment last night, but his silence was more terrifying than any threat he could make.

“Get up,” he said flatly.

You tried to obey, pushing yourself off the bed, your muscles trembling from the effort. The moment your feet touched the floor, you collapsed again, your legs too weak to hold you.

Five didn’t care. He yanked you up by the arm, his grip crushing against the fresh wounds he'd carved into your skin. You cried out, but he ignored you, dragging you down the hallway. The familiar silence of the house weighed down on you like a suffocating blanket.

But this time, it wasn’t just the two of you.

As you entered the dining room, you froze. The rest of the Hargreeves siblings were there, seated at the long dining table as if nothing were wrong, as if your entire world hadn't been shattered Into a thousand pieces.

Klaus sat lazily in his chatr, nursing a drink, while Diego and Luther engaged in quiet conversation. Allison glanced at you briefly, her expression unreadable, but her eyes betrayed a flicker of discomfort. Even Ben, ghostly as ever, stood in the corner, his arms crossed, They all knew. They had to know what was happening behind closed doors, and yet they said nothing.

Five shoved you forward, forcing you to stand before them, his hand still wrapped painfully around your arm.

“| thought it was time for a family gathering,” Five said, his voice smooth, casual even. But there was a sharp edge to it, something dangerous simmering beneath the surface “After all, Y/N's been... trying to forget her place.”

The siblings exchanged uneasy glances. None of them dared to meet your eyes. The humthation burned hotter than the pain from your injuries, the weight of their silent judgment pressing down on you.

Diego cleared his throat, his voice stiff. "Five, this is—*

"Enough." Five's voice cut through the air like a whip, silencing Diego instantly. He turned his gaze to you, a twisted smile playing on his lips. “They don’t understand yet, Y/N. They don’t know what happens when you defy me."

You trembled, your heart pounding in your chest as the terror clawed at your throat. You wanted to run, to hide, but there was nowhere to go. Not with the entire family watching.

Without warning, Five grabbed the back of your neck and forced you to your knees in front of him. The roughness of his hand sent a fresh wave of pain through your already bruised body, and you gasped, your vision blurring with tears.

“Look at them," he demanded, his voice cold and devoid of any empathy. "Look at my family. You wanted to leave me, didn’t you? You thought you could run away, start over. But this... this is what you are. You're mine, and they need to see that.”

You tried to avoid their eyes, but Five jerked your head up, forcing you to face them. The shame was unbearable, the weight of their silent stares suffocating. You could feel the tears spilling down your cheeks, but you bit down on your lip, refusing to make a sound.

"This is your punishment,’ Five continued, his voice cruel and sharp. “You tried to escape. You thought you could live without me. But now, they'll all know. They'll see how weak you are.”

Luther shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his massive frame looking out of place in the tense atmosphere. “Five, don't you think this is going a bit too far?”

Five's eyes snapped to him, dark and menacing. “Too far? No, Luther Not far enough. She needs to learn her lesson. And maybe you all do too.”

Before anyone could react, Five grabbed a knife from the table—another blade, another threat—and pressed it against your throat. The cold metal bit into your skin just enough to make you freeze, your breath catching in your chest.

"You will never leave me,” he hissed, leaning close, his voice dripping with venom. "You'll never run. And if you ever try again... I'll carve my name into every inch of your body.”

The blade dug deeper into your throat, and you whimpered, terrified that one wrong move would end everything. Five grinned, satisfied by the fear in your eyes.

"Kiss the floor,’ he ordered, his voice low but commanding. "Show them that you know your place."

Your mind rebelled at the command, but the sharp edge of the blade pressed harder against your skin, leaving you no choice. Humiliation and despair battled inside you as you lowered your head, your lips brushing the cold, hard floor beneath you. The tears flowed freely now, mixing with the blood that dripped from your arm.

The room was deathly silent, the tension so thick you could taste it. No one dared to move No one dared to stop him.

After what felt like an eternity, Five pulled you back up, his grip on your arm as strong as ever He smiled, but there was nothing warm in it. His gaze flickered over his siblings, daring any of them to speak.

“You see now," he said softly. "She belongs to me. And none of you can change that."

Klaus was the first to look away, unable to meet your eyes, his usual humor absent. Diego's jaw tightened, but he remained silent, his fists clenched at his sides. Even Allison, who always seemed composed, looked down at the table, her expression conflicted.

Ben, the ghost who had watched silently, shook his head. “This... isn't tight, Five.”

Five's smile disappeared. He yanked you up by the arm, dragging you out of the room before anyone could say another word. You stumbled after him, your legs barely able to hold you up, but he didn’t slow down. His fury radiated from him like a furnace, and you knew there was more to come.

Back in the bedroom, Five shoved you onto the bed, his eyes blazing with unrestrained rage

“You embarrassed me in front of my family,’ he snarled, pacing in front of you like a predator circling Its prey. “Do you have any idea what that means? After everything I've done for you?”

You didn't respond. You couldn't The fear had consumed you, swallowing any words before they could leave your lips.

Five's hand lashed out, gripping your hair and yanking your head back, forcing you to look at him The pain shot through your scalp, but you bit down on your lip to stop yourself from crying out.

"| should kill you for trying to leave me,” he whispered, his voice low and dangerous “But! won't Not yet."

He released you, letting you fall back onto the bed, and stepped back. His eyes were cold, calculating.

"You'll stay here You'll wait. And maybe, just maybe, tf you beg hard

enough, I'll consider forgiving you.”

With that, he turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

And in the silence that followed, you

realized the truth—you weren't just his

prisoner.

You were his toy. His possession.

Something he could break again and

again, and he would never stop

Not until there was nothing left of you.

[s1eepyg1rl]

What I thought of TUA season 4

(Just my opinion pls no hate n if ppl wanna talk Abt it I would love to)

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. Victor FINALLY having it out on reggie

That was fucking amazing all those years of pent up exhaustion and aggression towards Reginald has finally come out and it was just beautiful to watch tbh

2. Ben and Jennifer

THIS HAD ME IM NGL I LOVED IT SO MUCH I love how through all the timelines there’s ALWAYS them, I was picking up on it throughout the season and it was just amazing, I loved that, I am a hopeless romantic so I was all there for it even tho it did destroy everything

3. Paralells

there were so many parallel’s throughout it from the previous seasons and just even the parallel of Jennifer knocking on the wall to Ben bro It just had me, I also love how the violin was still a theme throughout it through Abigail and the music during certain scenes, also having I think were alone now as the ending song was absolutely amazing although it was a different version/cover I loved that they used it in the first and last episode

4. PLOT TWISTS

BENS DEATH WAS CRAZY, had me and my best friend GASPING I’ve spent years theorising over how he died and I NEVER ONCE thought of Reginald being the case

ALSO ABIGAIL (reggies wife) ended up being on the opposite side which was insane. The way she also let lose on Reginald in the skin of gene was hilarious

5. Lila and Five

Just gonna say this first, I DIDNT LIKE IT. Even though as disgusting as it looks (due to fives body being younger) Lila and five makes sense as Lila said it was survival and they thought that they weren’t ever going to find a way back however five hiding the journal and way home from Lila just to have a relationship with her when she’s HIS BROTHERS WIFE is CRAZY I hate how they made him the bad guy in the end when it came to Lila and Diego and I did hate how they ruined Diego and Lila’s relationship for that :(

The fact they both genuinely fell in love tho is just crazy and tbh I never knew how to feel whenever it was on the screen however klaus, Allison and Luther were HILARIOUS at the confrontation scene.

6. TUA growing up!

Content of the kids FINALLY

IVE WAITING SO LONG FOR THERE TO BE MORE SCENES OF TUA AS KIDS ANS WE FINALLY GOT IT! I loved seeing them interact with each other and also showing that viktor wasn’t CONPLETELY alone growing up as he and Ben had a friendship, it also shows how klaus and Alison’s friendship has been deep rooted since they were young

7. Allison EATING

Allison was HORRIFIC in season 3 as we all know due to her crisis(?) but this season she was such a boss bitch and I actually lived for it icl the way she put reggie in his place and also helped klaus so much it was beautiful

8. The last episode!

The last episode was very Rick and Morty esq. but I loved it, it was so sad but so good and although it felt a bit rushed and I WISH they had more seasons coming they ended it off so well and with the 8 marigold flowers growing at the END END it was just beautiful and also kinda made me think like what if there is more? (Even tho there’s not :() also having all of the characters at the end such as the triplets from season 2, the commission workers, hazel and Agnes, the handler, grace, it was just all amazing and left me speechless

I actually can’t believe it over tho, they did so well with all of it and I love it so much.

Ofc this is all my opinion and I can’t wait to hear what other ppl think cuz honestly there’s so much to debrief and talk Abt it was also rly funny but honestly I loved it.

[therulerofallpotatos]

I love your comments! 🌺 Why do you think people hate ship Fivela so much?

You mean besides hayes code loving puritanical thought police reasons that pretend they aren’t the exact same as the Moms of Liberty gay book burning group with a leftist hat on?

That is 90% of it.

But for the more reasonable ones who simply dislike the ship personally, it’s not unreasonable to assume a lot of people just don’t like thinking of Aiden’s face and romance in the same sentence. Especially if you also look at the way people treat the ace! Five headcanon as if it’s canon when in fact there has never been any evidence supporting that headcanon either in the show or the original comics. Even less so in the comics, where Five is in fact a lecherous old man who is seen multiple times with strippers. People latched onto it either because they were projecting, wanted to infantilize Five (and ace people for that matter), or think the idea of a “13yo” having lustful thoughts is icky (side note: teenagers being horny is a well documented fact. pretending it doesn’t happen literally never led to anything good historically speaking. Side side note: Five is in his 50s and pushing 70 by the last episode.). Also I say “icky” because i keep seeing words like that as if we’re all a bunch of five year olds on the playground and someone’s parents’ kissed in front of us. I digress.

Most of this is whatever. Ship and let ship also means you’re welcome to have your notp. Just don’t be a judgemental dick about it. I only take issue when it is being judgemental or it’s crossing over into other behavior. Specifically the infantilization of asexuals, which as an ace myself I find frustrating to say the least. (treating asexual people like innocent little babies is acephobic. If you treat me like I don’t know what sex is or can’t possibly have an “unpure” thought, I will bite you and it will not be fun)

Aside from all that. There’s also just plain old ship wars. Nenufair has referred to Liliego as a cost sunk fallacy and that is at least partly true. I don’t dislike the ship, personally, but some people just cannot handle when their ship doesn’t go canon, isn’t validated in some perceived way, or isn’t as popular as a different ship. It’s a tale as old as toxic fandom practices and dressing it up in therapy speak and activist terms doesn’t make it any less a ship war. You’re just being extra insulting to people who are affected by and fight for those real issues on top of being obnoxious. If you just want more attention on your otp, then being nasty about it just makes other people want to block your favorite tag altogether. It’s no way to encourage creativity and discussion.

The execution of Fivela going canon is it’s own discussion which some people liked and some people didn’t whether they shipped it or not. I have mixed feelings personally, and yeah. I would have written certain things differently, but I’m also not the author and never was. I didn’t put Five on a pedestal the way some other people seem to have, and I’m partial to happier endings but that’s my writing preferences. This wasn’t actually my story, and I am mostly content to be along for the ride. A lot of people seem pissed because this wasn’t something they wanted and the writers didn’t listen and it’s really just revealing how entitled they felt to the team just taking their order down like this is a restaurant and not a story. People are rabid right now about the whole season and their notp going canon is an easy thing to latch onto especially if they need to address the cop in their head. This is the same fandom that seethes when Allison and Luther have a cute little childhood sweathearts romance in the show adapted from the incest superhero comics. Just like people go pissy when there’s incest in their incest dragons show or gore in their violence on display anime.

A lot of people also didn’t see it coming and felt blindsided. Some are going back and realizing the tension was always there, but many refuse to see it. There’s nothing like willful blindness to fuel a good outrage.

And for some it’s just not their cup of tea, but I doubt they’re the ones screaming right now. Not everyone likes an enemies to lovers arc or messy dynamics or love triangles. Some have been burned by poorly executed tropes in the past. Some just prefer softer less dynamic relationship development. I can’t relate, but that’s fine.

Of course there’s also anyone convinced that Aiden must have been coerced or something into doing a simple kiss scene as a grown actor pushing twenty years old. People love infantilizing Aiden and it’s actually really getting on my nerves. The whole age gap discourse in general has been poisoned by pedo hysteria and judgement assholes treating grown adults like babies who can’t possibly know what’s best for them instead of looking at each individual relationship and looking for mistreatment. It’s much easier to assign a number to things as a shortcut for “bad” and “good” than to recognize abusive behavior both in others and yourself. I’ve seen nothing to suggest Aiden was mistreated on set in regards to his romance arc with Lila, and unless I do, I’m not going to assume the worst here anymore than I did when Hermione and Ron got together or...I don’t know, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.

Anyways I have a job interview to get to so I’m sorry if this is barely coherent ramblings. I just woke up and I had some venting in me ig. if someone more eloquent than me wants to expand on anything I said, I just ask we try to remain civil.

[inkspiredwriting]

Maddie’s First Word

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

It was a lazy Sunday morning at the Hargreeves mansion. Five and Y/N Hargreeves were savoring the rare tranquility, enjoying the simplicity of a quiet breakfast together while their daughter Maddie played with her toys nearby. The sun filtered through the kitchen windows, casting a warm glow over the room.

Maddie, now almost a year old, was a bundle of curiosity and energy. Her big, bright eyes constantly explored her surroundings, and her chubby little hands reached for anything within her grasp. Today, she seemed particularly focused on her favorite toy—a colorful, squeaky giraffe.

"She’s getting so big," Y/N mused, watching Maddie with a smile. "I can’t believe how fast time flies."

Five nodded, a rare look of peaceful contentment on his face. "Yeah, it feels like just yesterday she was a newborn. Now she’s crawling around and getting into everything."

They were in the midst of discussing their plans for the day when Maddie, sitting up with her giraffe, made an unexpected sound. "Dada."

Both Five and Y/N froze, their eyes widening in surprise. Had they heard that right? They exchanged a glance, then turned their attention back to Maddie, who was now babbling happily.

"Did she just say...?" Y/N started, her voice filled with wonder.

Five nodded slowly, a grin spreading across his face. "I think she did. Maddie, can you say that again?"

Maddie looked up at them, her big eyes sparkling with the innocent delight of a child who had just discovered something new. She giggled, holding up her giraffe. "Dada."

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion, and she reached out to gently stroke Maddie’s cheek. "Oh, Maddie, that’s wonderful! You said your first word!"

Five scooped Maddie up into his arms, lifting her high and spinning her around, making her giggle even more. "That’s right, Maddie. Dada. I’m Dada." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, his eyes shining with pride.

As he settled her back down on his lap, Y/N leaned in and kissed Maddie’s cheek. "We’re so proud of you, sweetheart."

Maddie, seeming to sense the joy in the room, beamed up at them. "Dada!" she repeated, clearly pleased with the reaction she was getting.

Just then, the door to the kitchen swung open, and Klaus waltzed in, humming a tune. He stopped in his tracks, taking in the scene. "What’s all the excitement about?"

Y/N, unable to contain her happiness, looked up at Klaus with a radiant smile. "Maddie just said her first word!"

Klaus’s eyes widened with delight. "No way! What did she say?"

Five, still holding Maddie, looked over at Klaus with a proud grin. "She said ‘Dada.’"

Klaus clapped his hands together, his face lighting up. "That’s fantastic! Maddie, you’re a genius!"

Maddie, ever the performer, giggled and waved her giraffe at Klaus. "Dada!"

Klaus laughed, ruffling Maddie’s hair. "I see she’s already got a favorite. Better step up your game, Y/N."

Y/N chuckled, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "I’m just happy she’s talking. We’ll work on ‘Mama’ next."

As the morning went on, the rest of the siblings filtered into the kitchen, each one sharing in the joy of Maddie’s milestone. Diego brought her a new toy, Allison sang her a sweet lullaby, and Luther lifted her up high, making her giggle with delight.

Five and Y/N watched it all with full hearts, grateful for their unconventional but loving family. Maddie’s first word was a moment they would cherish forever, a reminder of the simple, beautiful joys in life amidst the chaos.

Later that night, as they put Maddie to bed, Five and Y/N stood by her crib, watching her drift off to sleep. Five wrapped an arm around Y/N, pulling her close.

"Today was perfect," Y/N whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. "I can’t wait to hear what she says next."

Five nodded, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s temple. "Me too. But for now, I’m just going to savor every ‘Dada.’"

As they left the room, closing the door softly behind them, They knew that Maddie's first word would always be special for them.

[fudgetunblr]

I've been thinking a bit about what alternative beginnings of the season they could've given the siblings, and here's some ideas I've had:

Luther was always number one, not necessarily because he was the strongest but because he was always the one most willing to please and be there for Reginald. He cared about his siblings, but he also cared about following protocol more. I think he'd want to be a part of a team, and therefore maybe he works in construction or something. He's not as strong as he once was, showcasing a life without powers, while still giving him something that felt meaningful to him. It ain't much, but it's honest work - and maybe that's what he needs. Also, he doesn't live in their old house obvi.

Diego always wanted to be a cop. Ik, Ik, ACAB, but it still would make sense for his character that despite his erratic behaviour, having kids and a wife and realising he needed to take care of them would calm him down a bit, leading him to a police job. It wouldn't be glamorous, and he could still want more. It would also showcase how he isn't as precise as he was without his powers, but still given him something that felt more meaningful.

Allison being a less successful actress feels correct. But having Ray walk out felt like such a disappointment. Perhaps instead either he died or she left him, showcasing that the Raymond in this timeline wasn't the same, and nothing was as it should. It would also make sense if she was really estranged from her siblings out of guilt. They try to pull that one, but they don't actually show it completely. Maybe she thinks they're madder at her then they actually are? Who knows. More self-reflection at the time-line she helped create.

Klaus being scared of everything was kind of interesting, considering he was once immortal. He didn't know it most of the time, but he also did drugs because of his powers. I like him starting this season off being clean, and also him just being extra careful. I don't think he would've gotten a job, he'd definitely mooch off of someone else, but perhaps not Allison. What if it was Luther instead? It feels like something he would do. Or Diego who forces him to babysit. They've never liked his bullshit, but I feel like Luther would've taken pity on him.

Five retires. Idk how, but he'd find a way. It would be a lot funnier seeing him just chilling out at an old persons home then have him be an agent. He's already done that shit, he's finished with all that.

Ben being a crypto-bro is so funny tho, idk, that can stay the same. And Luther picks him up from prison, and he's like "btw , Klaus lives with me" and we get some Ben and Klaus shenanigans.

Victor moving to Canada also feels correct.

I don't even know what I want Laila to do. I kind of enjoyed her being a stay at home mum, trying to do better than her own upbringing, but also showcasing how it's slowly killing her. Or perhaps she it content with it. Because just like five, she's spent her entire life running and flashing through time, maybe she enjoys settling down.

All this leads me to this - I don't like Ben spiking their drinks and forcing their powers back. I think it would be better if a real threat presented itself and they chose to get them back. Maybe Ben found the marigold and tried to talk Luther and Klaus into taking it. They tell him no, then someone, maybe Klaus, dies, and just like in the beginning, it's the thing that brings them all back together.

I love Klaus, and it would suck without him, but maybe seeing someone who has constantly escaped death so many times actually face mortality would bring a certain perspective. There's a threat (idk what that would be, something something, wrong timeline), and they're just not strong enough to defeat it without their powers. They don't want them back, they're content with their lives as they are, but they have to get them back now to save the world one last time.

Idk, that's just some thoughts. I think seeing them content and have shit ruffle up their lives one last time would've been an interesting way to return to. Alternatively, them being unhappy in the beginning, getting their powers back and then losing them again, because they recognise that they're happier without them. Just, any semblance of a character arc through the season and some introspective you know?