#or just a rotation of bats
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Another addition to the list of why Tim Drake is a great option to go undercover as Neal Caffrey: Neal’s aversion to guns.
Now, with Jason it could be ironic or for better cover. Bruce already has an aversion to guns from his parents’ death. For Damian or Dick, the aversion is likely just for a more fleshed out cover, enabling the possibility of criminal informant (not as likely for violent criminals), as well as their preference for other fighting styles. But for Tim, the Caffrey role being averse to guns actually could be much more significant. After all, Tim has already seen what happens when he switches to the “dark side.” Maybe, spending years as a criminal who used guns would remind him a little too much of another gun-wielding criminal. After all, he does give his future evil self the moniker of “gun batman” (not to be confused with Jason’s version of Batman in the battle for the cowl).
I know that Neal Caffrey is not actually an undercover role in the White Collar series, but having seen so many crossovers, I think that Caffrey’s aversion to guns could be interesting to consider further in any crossovers
#neal caffrey#tim drake#batman#dc comics#dc x wc#white collar#Neal caffrey’s aversion to guns#gun batman#jason todd#dick grayson#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#undercover#reason 15 for why tim drake makes a great Neal Caffrey#ish#I have another post about it somewhere#grayson is a classic though#or just a rotation of bats#like with batman at jl meetings#it’s kinda funny#idk
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The omegaverse post is getting. VERY long- so I’m swinging into here-
At two-three ish years old, i think Damian would be on solid foods at that point, granted- he did just come from a cloning tube, so he wouldn’t have had any solid foods- but nonetheless, I don’t think Bruce would start producing milk.
Also, Pit rage + Dynamics?
I can see either that the Pit Rage is almost completely removed from the equation due to Jason having grown up with unnatural instincts, (There is a Lazarus pit in Gotham after all, he could have immunity due to being raised in the hellpit that is Gotham) or it’s so much worse.
Jason will either be almost completely uneffected except for being a bit more feral, or will drop into angry ferality at the drop of a hat.
And you know that Tim will end up being smothered by both Jason and Bruce- though, most often it’s Jason because Jason now has a little brother- one that needs his help and protection from his clearly neglectful parents.
Tim has no idea how dynamics work- and While very much annoyed by it, Atleast Jason can teach Tim how to be a proper pup with Steph’s help. (I can see Jason having helped taught Dick when he first came to the manor in a similar way)
And Steph will want to join in. This pack is a mess, but she she still wants to help. While She’s not full Wayne pack, she is definitely on the fringes of the pack. Not as much as Jim, but still there. ‘Sides, it’s fun playing with a big pack like the Wayne Pack! There’s so much chaos and Bruce makes amazing nests.
Also- Dynamic Headcanons time, in order of hierarchy cus why not.
Bruce - Head Omega
Alfred - Elder Beta
Dick - Alpha (Defaulted to Head alpha due to being the only adult alpha in the core part of the pack)
Jason - Pup Omega (Presented)
Tim - Pup Beta (Unpresented)
Damian - Puppy
Steph, Jim, and Barbara are on the fringes of the pack, so their rank in the pack often changes depending on what’s needed. But they default right above the pups more often than not.
Also, I can see all three of them being alphas.
Good idea lol- I'll add links to the previous ones too. 1 2
First of all, yesss. Tim is slowly brought out of his shell and encouraged by the combined might of the entire pack. No, Bruce and Jason are not almost sobbing in relief the first time Tim actually responds like a pup should.
Omg, I absolutely adore the idea of tiny pup Jason helping Dick learn how to pup. Dragging him into wrestles and gnawing at him until he asks him to stop.
I feel like Steph tries to stay on the edge of the pack but slowly gets sucked in lol, not helped by the fact that she's Spoiler. And getting dragged into the Batman's side of a pack too. It is inevitable at this point.
Gosh, what if the pit rage like, he's fine and completely in control as long as there's a Lazarus presence- which is thankfully all around Gotham. But like, if he leaves an area that hasn't had any sort of death-juice corruption he loses it a little bit. Like he has to learn how to control it before he can properly leave Gotham- outside of emergencies where he has a pendant or something with a tiny bit of the Waters maybe?
#ask answered#omegaverse#alpha beta omega#batman au#batfamily#Omg what about Cass#Would she have a dynamic or would she be really good at mimicking one#because that's what she learned from after coming to Gotham so she can for lack of better term switch between behaviors?#idk I am just rotating ideas and just woke up so feel free to ignore lol#honestly i like most of those dynamics#gosh the lazarus pit interacting with dynamics reminded me of a headcanon of mine#like even outside an omegaverse au#where every gothamite has reflective and/or glowing eyes from everything in Gotham#And i just think that would fit for this AU too lmao#Omg there should be a nesting room in the Watchtower#A room with dimmed lights & so many blankets & nesting supplies & a Big nest for a broody bat & the several vigilantes he brings with him
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one of my fav offbook/play it by ear things is when jess loses it laughing at something, usually something she said, and zach immediately doubles down on it, either by repeating it or making her finish her thought
#because sometiiiiimes you gotta lick a kid#this was actually inspired by them listing cool things in heartbeat hospital#jess saying bat wheels and immediately losing it#and zach just going ‘bat wheels - you’re even cooler than bat wheels!’#bc that rotates in my mind so often#dropout#dropout tv#play it by ear#off book#off book podcast#jess mckenna#zach reino
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forgot for a second that oscillopsia is in my brain and not external and i almost tried to record what it looks like to me to show people what i mean
#the best i can describe it is like. when you spin around in circles with your head on a baseball bat and the world feels like it's#spinning sideways and you lose your balance#except im sitting and instead of the world rotating its shaking back and forth and i don't have very good motor control cuz#i cant sense where things are#i honestly think it's related to MS. it'd be one thing if this was an isolated symptom but i have so many others that align with it#especially the weird/obscure ones that aren't listed in mainstream descriptions. like i had to go onto MS forums to find people who knew#what i was talking about and had the same experience#and its not like i started there or typed 'MS' in my search. its just the only accurate results were from people with MS blogging about it#not to self diagnose but itd be nice if i could at least get tested and not immediately dismissed#ive also been dxed with peripheral neuropathy which could be related#idk#this got very off topic
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thinking about cass having comphet
#just having a distorted view on society and all its unspoken rules#fitting yourself in the expectations that are put to be ‘normal’ in the eyes of the world#doing what everyone else does in being into men but feeling an emptiness that you cant quite understand#thinking it has to do with lack in your upbringing and you keep trying but you feel deeper connections to the women in your life#not knowing what to make of that and not grasping why you ache for her but not for him#wanting so deeply to be viewed as perfect and pushing for that male love bc that will solidify that image but it never feels right or enoug#so many thoughts (especially if you throw steph dying in there like the forever rotating it in the brain)#cassandra cain#dc#batgirl#black bat
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all I do is listen to slightly different flavours of the beatles, without having ever properly listened to the actual beatles
#their big early '60s pop hits. in my life. and maxwell's silver hammer aside#finally getting around to listening to jellyfish's spilt milk after rotating a handful of their songs for years#sebrina paste and plato? well that's just penny lane right off the bat#elo? the beatles if they liked scifi#tmbg? I mean they straight up identified themselves as the shitty beatles
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idk what it was about the og image that made me think of the vr battles and seeing videos of mtc and posse t-posing and clipping thru the floor but remember how the models in the vr battles sometimes t-posed and clipped thru the floor LOL
#this is vee speaking#this post would have been 10✖️ funnier if i could have actually found one of those videos lmao#i will always be the vr battles strongest supporter but its jank was pretty funny lol#like the way jyushi’s eye just slowly rotated on a vertical axis even tho he was barely moving lmao#and we were all freaks about bat atp so we were panicking like#‘OMG JYUSHIS CHUUOKU PINK EYE COLOUR IS SUPER PROMINENT NOW IS THIS A SIGN????’ like this wasn’t experimental tech lmao#i don’t miss the 2nd drb but i miss TF out of the 2nd drb lmao can’t wait to see what kr rolls out for the 3rd drb#c: rapping boys
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Just because I haven't talked about it in years doesn't mean that I don't think about my hypothetical concept for a Venom cartoon where the symbiote is the protagonist on the daily.
#going to bat for a character that doesn't get to be a character or is characterized as just pure evil in a lot of its appearances is hard#i just want to rotate my little cartoon idea in my head#maybe i'll make more art for it someday i've been imagining it in like a studio trigger and mad rat dead inspired style lately#very scrungly and stylized#also it's a straight up symbrock romance this is an important aspect of the narrative that the man and the slime kiss
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im so thankful for special interests, how the fuck do neurotypical people force their way through three hours of chores without going on autopilot and thinking about The Good Dopamine Dispensing Thing the whole time
#gia speaks#just rotating shit in my head. making lists of kinds of bats. copyediting the writing i did earlier today without looking at it.
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The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.
It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.
Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:
“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”
And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.
It’s become a system.
It went like:
Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”
Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”
Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”
Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”
Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.
Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.
Tim: “It’s Jason.”
Jason: “DAMN IT.
Rules:
If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.
If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.
If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.
It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”
Top scores:
Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)
Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)
Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)
Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)
Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)
One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.
He cried.
Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.
Game cancelled due to lack of data.
#this is how they bond#trauma game night#bruce just wants peace but they are gremlins#siblings with violence#guess who is grounded#hint it's always Jason#except when its tim#sometimes its all of them#batfam#batfam headcanons#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#damian wayne#cassandra cain#im just bored
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I'm so glad MH Wilds kept the motherfucker from Worlds who enforced the Decoration as random drops instead of crafting, but we didn't keep the design ethos for the bowguns that were actually good from Worlds and now we have a fuck ass tiny chat box with all the notifications crammed in and get hit with 10+ notifications when you load out of a tent so you never actually see the important stuff
good fucking job, I hate the PC design team so much, go play any other MH game before making the next PC one
#do you know how relieved I was when I booted Rise and saw the old “craft decos random drop talismans” was back#I need 15+ decorations /per armor set/#I only need one talisman#why the Fuck would you make the talismans the only craftable#I want to take a bat to that designer's pc I fucking hate this#no veteran fucking liked that system in World#a vast majority also hated! the rotating event quests!!#STOP TRYING TO TURN MONHUN INTO A SHITTY MMO#FUCK#alright back to enjoying the game I'm just fucking tired of these decisions#Wilds Posting
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Careless Accidents
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you get hurt and jason’s pissed
warnings: reader’s wrist is accidentally sprained from being grabbed too hard



You could hear scuttling from somewhere else in the garden, an estate more than sizable enough than the game afoot.
You were under the distinct impression though that the bats and birds are playing with you similar to how they would a child. Slower, weaker, and less experienced than the big kids. You weren't complaining though. Because, frankly, it was stressful. They tend to operate more like they’re in a warzone than a game, you felt like you were about to be sniped out at any second.
Rightfully so, apparently, seeing how silently Stephanie had crept up on you.
“Hey,” Stephanie hissed, ignoring the way you jumped. “We’re doing alright for ourselves,” she said smugly.
“Yeah,” you’d nodded, like you agreed with her more than you probably did.
“Okay listen, I think the flag—” what flag? “—is by the fountain so, I think because there’s three of us and two of them, we should bait-and-switch.”
“We’re on teams?” you asked, no longer completely sure you know what you’re playing.
“We are now!” she smiled, starting to run. “I’ll bait!”
She stopped briefly in her tracks and turned back to you hissing, “Don’t trust Cass,” before scurrying away.
Rather than sit around and wait there for…something?...to happen, you jumped up darting in the opposite direction with little to no indication whether this is a good move.
What you didn’t see is Cass rapidly approaching from your rear.
What you also didn’t see was Dick crouched down in a row of shrubbery, which gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch your arm up and yank you down with him. You’d mewled a bit as your wrist made contact harshly with the grass, immediately buckling under you.
Cass was keen to your pain immediately, slowing her sprint to a stroll as she observed you.
“Are you okay?” she signs.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
The response was instinctual and you didn’t actually have time to register whether or not you were okay by the time you gave it.
You pushed up on your elbows, trying to figure out whether Dick is even on your team, but the way the others approached had you halting consideration. They’re savvy to the situation at a speed in which you can only attribute to their vigilantism, looking at you with concern.
“You good?” Tim asked, approaching languidly.
“That looked like it hurt,” Cass commented, crouching down next to you to see your wrist better.
Dick shook his head, “No, she’s okay.” He turned to you, prodding, “You’re okay.”
“Yeah, I’m, um…” you winced, looking at your wrist. “It hurts a little.”
Cass examined it closely, tilting it gently to the side. “It might be sprained.”
Dick paled.
“No.”
Tim pointed a thumb back towards the manor, “We can get it wrapped upstairs.”
“No.”
You were only then able to clock the barely contained grin on Stephanie’s face, begging to break.
“Ooooh. He’s gonna kill you.”
Cass had then kindly offered to take you inside and wrap it up for you, which you accepted, unexpecting of the plus-one of Dick trailing behind you like a guilty puppy all the while.
“You know I didn’t mean to grab you that hard right? I—”
Cass laughs quietly as she wraps the bandage around your wrist, amused by Dick’s now-third explanation/apology for the incident.
“I know, Dick,” you say, trying to appease him.
“I’m sorry,” he tells you genuinely, but you can tell there’s more there that he isn’t verbalizing.
You nod, “I know, Dick. It’s okay. It was just an accident.”
Cass pins the wrapping in place securely and with a smile, signs to you that she’s all done.
You rotate your arm a bit, testing your movement under the wrap. As Cass leaves with the first aid kit, Dick remains sat at your side, leg thumping up and down.
He takes a deep breath, “What if…what if you avoid him until it heals?”
“Dick.”
He takes your uninjured hand in his with urgency in his eyes,
He looks down at your jointed hands before loosening his already mild grip significantly.
“Are you going to tell him?” he asks, looking like he’s bracing for bad news.
You shake your head sympathetically, “No. I can’t guarantee you that he won’t find out, but I won’t tell him.”
Dick takes a deep breath, looking at the ground with intense focus. “Okay. Okay.” He stands, “I need to go.”
You watch in amused bewilderment as he staggers out the door, looking around frantically.
Within the next few minutes, he creates and enacts his plan A. He walks into the living room, sitting down next to a very disinterested Tim, eyes forward and serious.
“I’ll give you two grand right now if you tell him it was you.”
Tim barks out, “Absolutely not.” He looks at his brother, still laughing. “No fucking way.”
Dick breaks the serious facade immediately, looking at him. “Five.”
A deadpan from Tim.
“You don’t have five thousand dollars.”
Dick throws his head back, back thudding against the couch. “Dude, please! He’ll kill me!”
Tim scoffs, “He’d kill me!”
Dick huffs, “No, it’s different for me! Do you have any idea how many times he told me not to do that?”
“Well then it sounds like you fucked up,” Tim sneers.
“Oh my God.”
He takes off again, combing through different rooms in the house with hope of finding a quick but effective hiding place for, say, the next twenty years?
He bursts through the study, unwittingly interrupting Bruce and Alfred having a discussion over tea.
The latter sits up with a tense brow, “Master Dick?”
The former turns around in his seat, “What’s the matter?”
Dick struggles for a second before confessing, “I accidentally sprained someone's wrist.”
Bruce scans his face slowly, nodding. “Alright…you’ll have to take responsibility for their patrol duties—”
Dick cuts him off with a sharp breath, “Said person doesn’t have any patrol duties to be affected...”
Bruce processes for a moment before shaking his head.
“I can’t help you.”
Dick’s panic takes over again, prompting him to continue his scurry through the room, towards the other door.
Alfred interrupts his process with a very logical argument, “You don’t think running away will make this worse, Master Dick?”
“I—I don’t know!” Dick whines, stopping in his tracks. “I don’t know what to do!”
Bruce purses his lips, gesturing, “Dick, when you make a mistake…you have to submit to the consequences, you know that.”
Dick gapes, “This is not a normal consequence!”
Meanwhile, you’ve busied yourself with fiddling with the knick knacks and mementos lining the shelves of Jason’s childhood bedroom.
You’re admiring a picture of him and Alfred from when he was young as the door creaks open behind you.
“Sweetheart?” Your boyfriend calls out, head barely poked in through the crack.
“Hey, Jay,” you smile, setting the picture frame back on the shelf.
He enters fully, covered in motor oil and grease, and smiles his sweet, easy smile when he sees you.
Moving onto the next trinket on the shelf, you pick up a stuffed animal placed intentionally at the front. Your gaze finds the mirror, watching his reflection as he pulls the stained shirt off his back.
You smile to yourself, noticing the way his back muscles flex as he adjusts. “How’s the bike?”
“Better than it was this morning,” he sighs. “Where’ve you been?”
He turns around to look at you, taking easy steps towards you.
You return the toy elephant to its place, moving to face him. “Uh, we were outside, playing…at least three separate games at once.”
The second you’re in proximity, your hands join like it’s second nature.
He nods, all too familiar with the family’s unique methods of gamefair.
“Did th—” He looks down at your intertwined hands, brow furrowing as soon as he spots the bandage wrapped around your wrist. “What happened?”
You glance down, shrugging. “Overexerted myself playing tag.”
He looks at you skeptically, but says nothing about it.
He turns your hand over gently, asking, “Is it sprained?”
You nod, relaxed. “Yeah. Cass said it’s mild.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“No,” you say, sweeping his hair back with your other hand. “Barely hurt then.”
He nods, but he doesn’t look satisfied with the conversation.
Regardless, he turns away again, shuffling through a drawer for a clean shirt.
“You, uh, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?” he asks, pulling his arms through, his head following.
“Yeah,” you say gaily. “Alfred said he’s making his ‘special spaghetti’, apparently it’s a household favorite?”
He wavers, halfway to between decisions. “Yeah…”
He huffs quietly, turning back to face you fully. “Can I see it?”
You nod, happy to ease his mind.
You start to unwrap the bandaging, him doing half the work for you. The work is done silently until your wrist is exposed, revealing your bruised skin.
You both see it at the same time—the hand-shaped bruise wrapped around your wrist.
You’re both quiet for a second—him putting pieces together and you waiting for the shoe to drop.
He takes off suddenly, clearly having come to a likely very accurate conclusion about what had happened.
“Fucking idiot—”
You try for his hand but he’s out of reach before you can grab it.
“I’ll be right back,” he grumbles behind him.
“Jason—” you sigh, “At least help me wrap it back up first.”
He hesitates, halfway to the door, ultimately returning to you in defeat. He takes your forearm gently, scanning it over again before beginning to wrap it.
You watch his face closely, noting the clear vexation. “It was just an accident,” you tell him.
He scoffs, “It better have been.”
You drop your shoulders and lull your head to the side. “Jason. I’m not made of glass, you can’t expect other people to act like it.”
“I don’t. I expect him to mind his own strength, and if he can’t do that, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself.”
You sigh, “Just don’t do anything harsh. Please. I think he’s worried you’re gonna punch him.”
“He should be,” he says shortly. He finishes off the wrapping, pinning it in place firmly.
You grab onto his forearm before he can pull away, “You’re not going to. Right?”
He doesn’t answer so you try to make his gaze meet yours, “Right?”
His eyes roll, “Yeah, fine.”
You smile, holding his face. “I love you.”
He huffs as though he’s inconvenienced, but confesses the obvious truth nonetheless. “I love you.”
He looks you in the eye, face serious. “You promise me it doesn’t hurt?”
“I promise,” you nod, brushing your fingers against his palm.

“Dick!”
The angry voice bellows through the tall halls of the manor, heavy footsteps thudding.
He stomps into the living room, Tim, Cass, and Stephanie watching the entryway with wide eyes.
“Where is he?”
Unwitting shoulders shrug and heads shake. Truthfully, at that. Dick, smartly, did not tell anyone where he was hiding.
Jason scans the trios faces, looking for any sign of apprehension.
He clocks the grin shamelessly plastered across his sister's face quickly. “Stephanie?”
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “But let me know when you find him, I wanna see—”
But Jason’s moving onto the next room before she can get the last words out.
He enters the dining room, looking right to left before finding his target, halfway to stuffing himself behind the fine china cabinet in the corner.
There’s a brief, tense moment in between where the pair realize what they’re seeing and when Dick sets off in a sprint towards the kitchen, Jason quick on his tail.
“Really? Really?” Jason shouts.
“It was an accident! It was a fucking—”
He narrowly dodges a swipe from Jason, then ducking before a ladle could make contact with his head.
“Are you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherf—”
Dick rounds the kitchen island as fast as possible, Jason testing him on the other side.
Dick takes a breath, “Dude, it’s fine now, it’s not that big of a—”
Jason recoils, “‘It’s not a big deal’? Come here. Let me sprain your wrist, asshole!”
He circles the counter quicker than the elder boy can think to move away and lunges at him.
Dick throws his hands up in front of him, “Wait, wait, wait! Truce! Truce! Truce?”
Jason drops his shoulders, leveling his older brother with a look. “You can’t call a truce if you’re the only one who did anything wrong.”
“I…” It doesn’t take him long to piece together that his defense makes no sense, so he resorts to his last option.
“Please?” Dick asks, nothing short of imploring.
Jason relents—slightly—upon hearing his brother's tone, but still finds it in him to shove him, though not nearly as hard as he’d been planning to.
“I told you a hundred fucking times not to grab her so hard—”
Dick nods heavily, waving a hand. “I know, I know—”
“Clearly you fucking don’t!” Jason shouts. He huffs, running a hand over his face. “You sprained her wrist. You’ve been doing this vigilante shit for fifteen years, how do you still not fucking know how to control your own strength?”
Dick grimaces, “I do! I do, I just screwed up, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t—” Jason narrowly holds back a scowl, “Did you apologize to her?”
“Yeah, of course I did!”
For a split second, Jason looks ready to keep arguing before purposefully dropping the anger from his body.
The resulting relief almost drowns Dick.
It only lasts a moment though, before Jason looks at him again, sneering, “Idiot,” before pushing him once more.
“Jason.”
Your voice has Jason dropping all turbulence in an instant. He and Dick both whip their heads towards the door, equally unexpecting of the interruption.
You tilt your head at your boyfriend with a knowing but disappointed stare.
He looks back at you like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lips parted.
“I didn’t hit him.”

⭐️ your options are: (1) reblog fics or (2) be a little bitch ⭐️
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#jason todd imagine#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x reader#red hood/you#red hood x you#red hood/reader#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc imagine#dc x reader#jason todd the doberman
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while I'm on the subject I understand that FMP mecha are probably like, Uncomfortably Military but I always liked their approach to the whole real robot thing as opposed to gundam
like I don't think it's a hot take it's just a different Variant of the whole Military Robot thing
on a similar note many Non Gundam robots in gundam are pretty good also
#bats speaks#gundams just seem a littel too fantastical to me#which is a part of the fun of course#and obviously it rose when super robot shows were more in rotation so you know#but still
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cw: nasty simon.
accompanying your bluecollar mechanic boyfriend simon riley to his work, you do it more often than not, dragged with him to just sit prettily in the corner of the room while he works, staining himself in machine oil while changing it to some poor bloke that barely knows how things work, getting his shirt all soiled with black, absorbing stains, his gloved hands greasy, sinewy muscles pumped with the strain of working day and webbed over with swelling veins, as you glance curiously over every inch of him.
all these things make him messy, checking the fluid levels, rotating tires, repairing or replacing some obsolete parts in people's cars, doing a lot of long talk by explaining some of the curious ones what exactly he did right now, leaving simon's short hair damp with sweat that drips down his forehead, trailing over his angled neck and dipping below his exposed collarbones, shirt outstretched and worn, hanging low enough to expose his chest, right where it's dappled with darkening hairs and layer of softness.
flushed cheeks decorated with patchy stubble and smudges of soot that often mixes with oil simon gets on his gloves, leaving fat smears on his skin as he tries to wipe off the annoying sweat, and it's less for his own comfort than yours, because he leaves his working place here and there to indulge in your uninterrupted attention, walking in closer with his mouth clashing over yours, sloppy with sharp bites and insistent licking of his tongue inside, filthy with loud, lewd sucks that escape from between you, and he moans unabashedly, cock already strained hard.
simon get's you drunk off the taste and smell of him, smoky, sweaty and leaving a tang of metal in it's wake, something to savor when he gets back to work, hearing the distant rumble of another approaching car, leaving you yet again to watch and nibble down at your kiss swollen, spit moisten lips, bothered by the slick that now oozes out of your pulsing pussy to soak in your panties, and he sees it in the way your thighs cross together, lip tucked beneath your teeth, eyes getting that dazed, sweet look he loves to see.
he get's a handful of your perky ass after asking you to give him a screwdriver from a box laying on the floor, making you all but bent down and present your ass in the air for him to smack, small, stinging slap ringing out along with a squeaky shriek you get out, batting his groping, roughened hands away, but the guy simon talked with walked away for a short smoke, so you lean into the teasing touch, whimpering when his fingers catch at your clothed mound, circling, purring at you to wait just a bit more till his shift ends.
folding your body at the back seat of his truck should he close the service shop, your legs dangling in the cramped space, spread open wide and held tight with simon's calloused, digging fingers coiling beneath your bent knees, his body bowed forward, trapping you against the leathery seat and a closed door as his engorged cock rams into the hot, gripping clutch of your drippy cunt, shaking the vehicle from the force of his thrusts, your delightful sobs and mewls answering his molten groans of your name, splitting your hole beyond repair.
main masterlist. quidelines.
#𐔌 . 𝘫𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 .ᐟ#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x f!reader#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley comfort#simon riley x female reader#simon ghost riley fluff#simon riley comfort#simon riley x you#simon ghost smut#simon ghost riley#ghost x f!reader#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#ghost x female reader#ghost x reader#ghost cod#ghost x you#simon riley drabble#simon ghost riley drabble#bluecollar!simon#ghost thoughts#simon ghost riley headcanons#bluecollar!ghost#simon riley headcanons
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If I can't have you baby, no one else in this world can!
SYNOPSIS: The Batboys & Cass at their most unhinged, most protective, and most devoted. TAGS: FEMALE Reader! Fluff! Jealousy! Fake Marriage, Mild possessive behavior, Mild innuendo / suggestive banter, Mentions of weapons/violence + Older! Of-Age! Damian NOTE: Don’t take the content or characterizations too seriously! It’s literally just a goofy, for-fun fic :ppp AO3: yenwayne Ko-Fi: buy me a coffee!
જ⁀➴ RICHARD GRAYSON
“I hate these missions,” came Dick’s voice, petulant and immediate in your earpiece.
You didn’t pause. Instead, you stepped delicately around a marble column, your heels tapping rhythmically across the ballroom floor. Your dress shimmered with every movement, a slinky midnight blue number that hugged your form like it had been stitched by jealous gods. Your fingers grazed the low curve of your hip, pretending to adjust the fabric, when in reality you were activating the mic hidden beneath a faux diamond brooch.
“Nightwing,” you said calmly, smiling at a champagne server as they approached. You took a glass with a graceful nod, flipping your hair over your shoulder with casual elegance. “We’re at a gala. There are hors d'oeuvres and a string quartet. Try not to combust.”
“I am combusting,” he muttered, like he was personally being subjected to torture. “You’re pretending to be married to Barry Allen. That’s basically infidelity.”
“We fake-filed a fake tax return together like, five minutes ago,” you said dryly. “Relax.”
Dick huffed—huffed—and you could practically see him brooding on some rooftop, arms crossed like a bat-gargoyle. “I just think I, your actual husband, should be there.”
You let out a quiet sigh, walking toward the ornate staircase where Barry stood chatting up a senator. You could already see the knowing glint in his eye as he spotted you, lifting his glass like a man trying too hard to appear casual.
“Oh my god,” you muttered under your breath, smiling sweetly as you closed the distance. “You are literally in my ear. You’re more present than Barry is right now, and he's the one touching me.”
“What?!”
You glanced sideways at Barry. He shifted, his palm resting in the safe, polite territory of your lower back as he leaned in to whisper something to the senator. “Arm, Dick. It’s just an arm. We’re blending in. No need to send in the Batjet.”
“I swear to god if he tries the forehead kiss thing—”
You blinked. “What forehead kiss thing?”
“He does this thing,” Dick said, his voice a little breathless with outrage, “where he smiles all slow and soft and tilts his head, and he leans in like he’s gonna whisper something but instead he does this little forehead press like he’s in a rom-com. I hate it. That’s how he seduced Iris that one time!”
You bit the inside of your cheek to suppress a laugh, shifting your weight subtly as you allowed Barry to guide you toward the center of the room. The music shifted into a softer waltz.
“Pretty sure they were already dating when that happened.”
“Not the point. I should be the one fake-forehead-kissing you at fancy galas.”
You stepped past an older couple slow-dancing near the fountain centerpiece and turned, giving Barry a small apologetic smile as you pretended to be distracted by something in your clutch.
“Would that make you feel better?” you whispered.
“Immeasurably.”
You were about to respond when you caught the faintest flicker of movement overhead. The security camera nearest you pivoted. Just slightly. Just enough.
Your smile vanished.
“Did you just hijack the camera feed to watch me?”
Silence.
“Dick.”
“…No?”
“Dick.”
“Camera’s just doing its job.”
“You are the camera.”
There was a beat of long, silent guilt on the line.
“It’s a security sweep,” he finally muttered, defensive. “Totally standard.”
You turned and stared directly up at the rotating lens, narrowing your eyes. “You’re pouting, aren’t you?”
“No,” he said, full pout in his voice.
You glared at the camera, already knowing the exact pout he was pulling behind the cowl. Barry chuckled beside you, still in his gala-husband role. You looped your arm through his and leaned in with a soft smile, playing along for the watching donors. Wealth glittered across the ballroom. Pearls, tuxedos, and dresses worth more than a small country’s GDP.
And then Dick dropped the line.
“You just had to wear that gown, didn’t you?”
Your eyebrows twitched.
“It’s a dress.”
“It’s a crime scene, actually.”
You nearly snorted champagne up your nose. “Are you okay? Do you need to go punch a mugger and walk it off?”
“You don’t understand,” he hissed. “There are at least six guys pretending not to stare at you right now. One of them dropped a canapé. I watched it happen. I’m seconds from pulling the fire alarm.”
You hummed in amusement and tilted your head, letting the chandelier light catch the sheen of your lashes.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.”
You swirled the champagne in your glass, then took a slow, knowing sip, the bubbles tickling your lips as you smirked. “Are you gonna rappel in through the ceiling and punch Barry in the face mid-waltz?”
He didn’t answer immediately. And that was the worst part.
“…Maybe.”
You laughed under your breath, drawing curious eyes from across the floor. “You are the most dramatic man I’ve ever married.”
“I’m the only man you’ve ever married!”
“For now,” you teased.
Dead. Air.
You could feel it through the silence. The precise moment Dick’s jaw clenched, the way his hands probably curled into fists on some high-rise ledge. You almost felt sorry for the next criminal who looked at him funny.
“Sweetheart,” he said finally, voice dropping into that dangerous purr he only used when he was 70% teasing and 30% ready to commit felony assault. “If Barry so much as breathes too close to you, I’m driving over there and disguising myself as a waiter just to strangle him with a linen napkin.”
You giggled again, covering it with the rim of your glass and a quick flutter of lashes.
“Relax. You’re still my real husband.”
“I should hope so. I signed that marriage license in blood.”
“You pricked your finger opening the envelope.”
“It still counts.”
જ⁀➴ JASON TODD
The dim light of the bookstore warmed the space, the faint scent of old paper mixing with the musky air of Gotham’s streets. It was the perfect Saturday afternoon. You and Jason had been to this little corner bookstore a few times, tucked away near the flat you shared, where no one bothered you, just the way you liked it.
Today, the place had a sale. And you were taking full advantage. Because, books.
You bent slightly, pulling another book off the shelf. Your fingers lingered on the spine, the title catching your eye, but your gaze drifted briefly to Jason beside you.
He was holding a stack of books you'd already picked up, his strong arms braced beneath the weight. His other hand was occupied, casually flipping through the pages of a suspense novel. His worn-out motorcycle helmet hung off his elbow, the strap digging into his skin like it always did when he wasn’t too concerned about making a spectacle of himself.
The sight of him in his usual attire, tight compression shirt, cargo pants, and those damn ratty boots, was almost enough to make you forget why you were even here. You couldn’t help it. Your husband, who exuded that rough, untamed charm that always made your heart skip a beat, even after everything.
You coughed, quickly pulling your focus back to the shelf, cheeks flushed. You weren’t here to ogle at him. You were here to buy books, to stock up for the upcoming winter nights in your cozy little flat.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him glance over at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he noticed the way you’d momentarily gotten lost in thought.
“You okay there, doll?” His voice was low, but that teasing drawl was there, practically sending your internal warning system into overload.
You snapped back to the shelf, cheeks now officially flushed. “Fine. Just… you know, checking out some new releases. That’s all.”
Jason took a step closer, his hand reaching out to adjust the stack of books he was holding, brushing against your side. You could feel his eyes on you, that damn teasing look in them. He knew.
"Uh-huh," he muttered, clearly amused.
You shot him a glare. “Stop being so obvious.” You grabbed a couple more books, pretending they were the most interesting thing in the store, while mentally trying to avoid imagining how good he looked in those pants.
The moment passed, and you made your way to the counter. But, of course, Jason insisted on carrying all the books for you, despite them weighing next to nothing. Which, really, wasn’t a huge shock. The man could bench press a car if he felt like it.
The cashier, a young guy in his twenties, greeted you with a friendly smile as he began scanning your newest babies.
“Oh, you read The Cruel Prince?” the cashier suddenly asked, lifting the book from your pile with excitement. “I’ve been dying to meet someone else who loves it.”
You couldn’t help but grin, excited to talk about one of your favorites. “Yes! It’s amazing. I love Jude as a character. She’s so strong, and the plot twists? Wild.”
The cashier, clearly eager to engage, leaned in slightly, his elbows resting casually on the counter. “I know, right? I just finished The Wicked King,” he said with a boyish laugh.
“I’m almost done with The Queen of Nothing now.” His eyes flicked up, lingering a moment too long on your face. “You into high fantasy like this, or was it just a one-time thing? ‘Cause if you’re looking for recs… I’ve got a few I think you’d really love.”
You smiled, delighted by the conversation. “Oh, I’m always open to fantasy suggestions. I love character-driven stuff with sharp worldbuilding.”
Completely absorbed, you missed the way the cashier’s eyes dipped briefly down your frame before flicking back up to meet yours. "Lucky for me, you stopped by today.”
Jason, who had been standing just behind you, tensed. Subtly, he stepped closer, the warmth of his body brushing your back as he shifted the weight of the books in his arms. His free hand settled on your waist, low and firm.
It was casual, at least outwardly, but there was nothing casual about the way his fingers flexed slightly against your coat.
The cashier, oblivious or ignoring the shift in energy, handed you the receipt, gaze still lingering. “Seriously, though. A doll like you geeking out over The Cruel Prince? That’s rare. Real rare. Kinda makes a guy believe in fate.”
Jason’s voice cut through the moment, cold enough to make the air around you drop a few degrees. “Yeah,” he said, eyes locked onto the cashier’s now, unreadable but intense. “She’s one of a kind.”
The cashier blinked, clearly feeling the shift, but tried to laugh it off. “Right, of course. I’ll, uh, finish ringing this up.”
Jason didn’t move, didn’t blink. “You do that.”
A moment later, the books were bagged, and the cashier’s enthusiasm had visibly dimmed. He offered a half-hearted smile, handing you the bag. “Enjoy your books.”
Jason took it before you could, his hand brushing against yours as he did. “We will.”
You followed Jason out of the store, blinking at the sudden rush of cold Gotham air. You were about to say something when you caught the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes stayed forward.
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Jealous?”
He scoffed, but didn’t deny it. “Nah. Just making sure it’s clear. You’re mine.”
You slipped your arm through his. “Always.”
જ⁀➴ TIM DRAKE
“Hi, Timmy Junior,” you crooned, crouching low to the penthouse floor with a dramatic sweep of your coat as it slipped from your shoulders. Your fingers found the cat’s chin, scritching gently beneath the plush fur.
The feline let out a noise of pure bliss, an undignified grrrrrr-rup purr as he leaned his entire ridiculous body weight into your hand.
“You’re so spoiled,” you whispered like a secret, ruffling his ears. “Where’s your dad, huh? Inventing new molecules? Hacking the Pentagon again?”
You padded deeper into the apartment, your heels left by the door, your coat sliding neatly onto the rack with one smooth toss. The air inside was warm and low-lit, cast in that signature honey-gold glow Tim always adjusted for you when you worked late at the hospital. Cozy, inviting. The kind of lighting that lured you toward rest like gravity.
Your gaze landed on him instantly. Folded up on the couch in a soft Gotham U hoodie and well-worn sweatpants, socked feet tucked beneath him, glowing laptop balanced on his knees.
The blue light framed his face like a crime scene photograph. His fingers flew across the keys, precise, fast, controlled. His brow furrowed, and his jaw clenched just slightly, like whatever he was typing deserved war.
You didn’t say a word.
Instead, you launched yourself forward like a sleepy jungle cat and collapsed into his lap, head-first, limbs folding as you burrowed in like you belonged there. Because you did.
Tim paused, but only for a second. Then one arm wrapped around your waist, locking you into place as his other hand resumed its furious typing like your sudden weight had simply activated some comforting subroutine. Like muscle memory. Like ritual.
“You’re late,” he murmured, finally meeting your eyes with that gentle, tired smile you’d always been weak for.
“Code blue,” you mumbled, curling tighter into his hoodie. “And two separate idiots who thought knife fights belonged in the ER lobby.”
He hummed low and familiar. “Gotham.”
You exhaled slowly, melting into him. The scent of him wrapped around you—green tea, clean soap, and ozone, like he hadn’t moved from this couch in hours. The safest smell in the world.
But something… tugged.
You felt it now. His body didn’t soften the way it usually did when you came home. His hold was there, but too controlled. The tension in his shoulders hadn’t gone away. He hadn’t kissed your forehead.
You pulled back just enough to look up at him, eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong?”
Tim’s lips parted like he wanted to deny it, but instead, he let out a breath that deflated his whole chest. “It’s nothing,” he said, almost too fast. “Just… internet drama. Dumb stuff.”
“About work?” you asked, brows raising.
“No,” he said after a beat, tone shifting. “About us.”
You stilled.
Tim blinked at you, then sighed. “You did an interview with Vicky Vale today?”
You blinked again, slower this time. “…Yesh,” you mumbled into his neck. “She was a nightmare in heels, but Bruce said something something ‘positive press,’ ‘curated coverage,’ PR speak, blah blah—”
“Right,” Tim cut in, nodding slowly. Too slowly. “And in that very public interview, broadcast to half of Gotham… you said Nightwing was your favorite vigilante.”
Silence.
You shifted.
“I stand by my words.”
He gasped in faux betrayal and grabbed your hand, holding it up like a piece of evidence. The diamond on your engagement ring caught the light dramatically.
“This is a literal rock,” he said, dead serious. “A shiny, cut-from-the-mountain, six-years-of-our-life-together rock. And that,” he gestured vaguely in the air, “is slander.”
You bit back a grin as he continued, spiraling.
“…Treason, even,” Tim added dramatically, eyes wide with mock hurt. “I should call Bruce. Or the League. Or Alfred. Someone’s has got to arrest you.”
You covered your mouth to stop the laugh threatening to bubble out. “You’re going to tattle on me to Alfred?”
“Damn right I am. He likes me best. He’ll understand.” He pointed a finger accusingly. “And you—you—are officially banned from Titans reruns, YouTube edits, and any content where Nightwing is in leather and doing that thing with his sticks.”
You tilted your head, feigning confusion. “What thing with his sticks?”
Tim looked personally wounded. “You know what thing. The twirly thing! The one with the hip pivot.”
You smirked, throwing your arms around him like a blanket. “Hm. But you're still my favorite fiancé.”
He scowled into your hair. “Not good enough. I want it in writing. Signed affidavit. Notarized.”
“Fine,” you deadpanned. “I, under oath, declare Timothy Jackson Drake to have the second-best butt in Gotham.”
Tim pulled back sharply. “Second?!”
“Best fiancé,” you corrected with a squeal, kicking as he launched a tickle assault. “Best fiancé! Tim! Stop! I swear to—!”
He kept going, merciless and grinning, until you both dissolved into laughter and flailing limbs on the couch. Tim finally flopped beside you, chest heaving, arms still tangled around you.
You were still breathless, clutching your stomach, when he murmured:
“…Still should’ve been first-best butt.”
You reached over and kissed his nose. “You’re number one in my heart.”
“And in Alfred’s rankings.”
“Exactly.”
જ⁀➴ DAMIAN WAYNE
The wind bit at your exposed skin, Gotham’s chill cutting through every crack in your suit, making you shiver despite your best efforts to hide it. You tried to pull the oversized cape tighter around your shoulders, Damian’s cape, and flicked it dramatically, hoping for a bit of extra warmth. It made you feel a little ridiculous, but god, it was warm.
You glanced sideways at Damian, the stone wall of a man beside you, not even acknowledging the cold as he stared down at the street below, his jaw set and his posture as rigid as a statue.
You raised an eyebrow. “You know, I’m freezing my ass off in your oversized cape, and you’re standing there like a stone wall, making me look like a damsel in distress.”
Damian flicked a glance at you, his lips barely twitching into a smirk. "You do look ridiculous."
You rolled your eyes, adjusting the cape again. It really did swallow you whole. You felt like an overgrown child in a giant’s cloak.
"Well, at least I’m warm," you muttered, "unlike some people."
“Tt. I’m fine, beloved,” he said, but there was a little something extra when he said beloved.
Something warm. Something intense. And despite the cold, your heart did a little leap.
Sexy stone statue, you grumbled to yourself. You were so not above it.
The night air crackled with tension for a moment before Damian broke the silence. “Something’s off. Stay close.”
You straightened, your body on high alert, instinctively leaning closer to him. You followed his gaze toward the flickering lights…A bank alarm.
The unmistakable shriek of Gotham’s most wanted sound—bank robbery.
“Trouble,” you said, giddy with the thrill.
“Indeed,” Damian replied, voice low and dangerous. Before you could respond, he vanished into the night, melting into the shadows.
“Show-off,” you muttered, launching a web and following him across the rooftops.
You landed beside him, crouched above a black van outside the bank. Thugs were unloading duffle bags—money and cologne, Gotham’s finest.
“Someone’s making a withdrawal,” you whispered.
“Then let’s make sure they don’t get too comfortable,” Damian muttered. With a single flick of his wrist, a Batarang flew out, slicing through the air and knocking one of the thieves out.
“Smooth,” you swooned, eyes wide with admiration. “Hey, this might be the best date night we’ve had all month.”
“Tch. I prefer less… crowded dates,” Damian shot back, already taking down another guy with a fluid motion that made it look effortless.
Fast. Precise. Unfairly hot.
You couldn’t help but grin, heart racing as you jumped into the action, doing a flip over one of the thieves to disarm him mid-air. You were all set to land on your feet, ready to keep up the momentum, when suddenly, a shadow slammed into you from nowhere.
The impact knocked the wind from your lungs, sending you crashing into the rooftop with a grunt.
Damian’s head snapped your way, eyes dark, hand flying to his blade. Ready to kill.
"Wait!" you said, breathless, as you pushed yourself up and caught sight of the person on top of you.
"Black Cat?" you breathed, disbelief flooding your chest.
She grinned down at you, that too-familiar cocky smile spreading across her face.
"Hey, Spider," she said, pressing a hand down on your shoulders, keeping you pinned, her fingers firm and possessive. "Long time no swing. You look… deliciously out of breath."
Your brain short-circuited. "Holy shit. What are you doing in Gotham?"
Before she could answer, a shadow dropped hard beside you. Damian. Radiating absolute fury in a tight, concentrated glare.
“Get. Off.”
Two words. Ice-cold.
Black Cat didn’t flinch. In fact, her grin widened.
"Ooooh," she said, drawing out the syllable like she’d just tasted something expensive. “You must be new. You gotta get in line, cutie. Spider’s got fans, you know.”
“I am not a fan,” Damian snapped. “I am her partner.”
You sat up. “Aw.”
Damian flushed.
“In combat,” he added stiffly.
You winced. “Less aw.”
Black Cat howled. “Oh, this is so much better than I hoped. You got yourself a territorial one, huh?” She leaned in close to Damian, eyes twinkling. “Tell me, do you bite?”
“I don’t bite,” Damian said coldly.
“Oh?” she said with a smirk. “Shame.”
“I maim.”
“Well, you’re no fun,” Black Cat tsked, her hips swaying as she walked forward with that signature, cat-like confidence. “Relax, Bird Boy. Just saying hi to my favorite Spider.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “Guys! Seriously? We are not doing this right now. We’re literally in the middle of a robbery!”
Black Cat flipped her hair over her shoulder, unfazed. “Handled it already, sweetheart. I snagged the bank’s security drive, webbed the goons to their getaway van, and took care of the heavy lifting before I jumped you. You’re welcome.”
“…You webbed—my web fluid?!” you gawked.
“Borrowed,” Black Cat said airily. “Don’t be stingy.”
“I made that with bio-polymers and blood, you kleptomaniac bat-licking menace—”
“Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes. “I'm sure you can make another one of your web knick-knacks.”
Damian’s eyes flashed. “Those cartridges are proprietary.”
“Pro‑pri‑e‑tar‑y!” you echoed, stabbing a finger at her. “He means off-limits, you thieving furball!”
Black Cat rolled her shoulders, utterly unbothered. “I’ll return them. Hm… rented at a fair rate, of course. Maybe half a million an ounce?”
Damian growled low in his throat. “You—I'll—”
“Okay, okay, enough. Look. I’ll put them back before breakfast tomorrow, deal?” Black Cat offered, waggling her fingers like this was a brunch invitation and not felony-level theft.
You opened your mouth to protest because you absolutely did not agree to that, but it was too late. With a mock curtsy and a wicked glint in her eye, she vanished into the shadows, her laughter echoing like a warning shot.
You turned back to Damian, who stood tense, blade still in hand, every muscle in his jaw working overtime.
“I should have let her fall off the building,” he muttered.
You snorted. “You would never.”
“I could have accidentally loosened her grip.” He sheathed his sword with more force than necessary. “No one touches you like that. No one pins you but me.”
Your brows shot up. “So you do want to pin me—”
“Strategically,” he snapped.
“Strategically?" you purred, arms wrapping round his shoulders. "That’s what we’re calling rooftop makeouts now?”
“I—Tt—focus.” But Damian's hands settled at your waist anyway, traitorously warm. “We need to debrief. Secure the scene. Call in the GCPD. Recheck the vault—”
“Oh, Dames…”
જ⁀➴ CASSANDRA CAIN
You were no better than a man.
You were definitely not supposed to be staring. Or, at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself as you tried to focus on the workout in front of you. But there was no way you could ignore Cassandra right now.
She was… perfect.
Her form was flawless as she moved through her calisthenics routine. Push-ups, pull-ups, even backflips! Nothing seemed to faze her. And here you were, struggling not to turn into a puddle of goo on the gym floor.
It wasn’t fair, honestly. How was one person allowed to be so hot? You were supposed to be stretching, but instead, you were completely fixated on your girlfriend, who was now hanging effortlessly from the pull-up bar.
She wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, you were sitting here pretending to stretch, but your eyes couldn’t stop following her every move. How could you not? She was making calisthenics look like some kind of sexy ballet, and you were feeling some type of way about it.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you barely heard the guy who suddenly sidled up to you. You looked up, confused, to see him standing a little too close.
"Hey, uh…" He cleared his throat, clearly trying to sound casual. "I noticed you were watching your friend there… I could totally show you how to lift weights, you know. Maybe even you."
You blinked at him, trying to suppress a laugh. Your brain was still stuck on your friend? Was that supposed to be his pick-up line?
“Uh… really?” you said, raising an eyebrow as you glanced back at Cassandra, still breezing through her workout like she was in some kind of fitness commercial. You could barely keep your mouth from hanging open.
"Yeah!" He puffed out his chest like he was some kind of Greek god. "I can handle lifting your body weight, no problem."
You blinked again. "Oh??"
"Yeah," he said with a cocky grin. "I can totally do it."
You crossed your arms, trying not to burst into laughter. “Okay, then. Show me.”
The guy dropped to his knees in front of you and looked up, ready to lift you. You tried to brace yourself, but honestly, you weren’t sure what was going to happen. This was either going to be impressive or a disaster, and you were pretty sure it was going to be the latter.
He grunted. Nothing.
You raised an eyebrow, watching as he struggled. His face was turning red, sweat starting to drip from his forehead, and—yeah, this was as bad as you expected. He couldn’t even get you an inch off the floor.
“Need help with that?” you asked, barely able to hold back the giggle bubbling up.
“No—no, I’ve got it!” he snapped, lifting harder, but the effort only made him wobble like a newborn giraffe.
"Maybe next time, huh?" you said with a sigh, holding back your amusement.
Then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Cassandra appeared. You didn’t even see her coming. One second, the guy was still struggling with the whole “lifting you” thing, and the next, Cassandra was casually stepping between the two of you. She looked at him like he was a bug she couldn’t be bothered with, then lifted you effortlessly with one hand.
You froze.
One hand.
The guy’s face drained of color as Cassandra set you down like you were a stuffed animal she was tossing back on the shelf. She didn’t even glance at him as she flicked her hair back, returning to her workout like nothing happened.
Meanwhile, the guy? He was just standing there. Shocked. Maybe a little bit scared. His mouth was moving, but no words came out.
Could not have imagined a more embarrassing moment for him…
Turning to Cassandra, your grin only widened. “Baby… you just broke his soul.”
Cassandra didn’t even glance your way. She simply raised an eyebrow, then shot you a small smile as she signed, He should have known better.
As you were about to respond, the guy finally seemed to snap out of his daze. He stammered something about ‘his form’ and ‘next time’ before practically sprinting off, likely rethinking every choice he’d made that led him to this moment.
You chuckled under your breath, eyes flicking back to Cassandra. “Well, looks like you just ruined his chances of ever lifting a girl again.”
Cassandra shrugged, clearly unfazed, and went back to her pull-up bar. Not my problem.
As she started packing her things, she shot you a sly smirk. Let’s go home. I’ll give you a workout of your own.
You raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile pulling at your lips. “That… sounds promising.”
And just like that, the gym, the only thing on your mind now was what your workout would look like tonight.
Goopyness... This was very fun to write!
My requests are open! Please...Uwu
#batfamily x reader#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#redhood x reader#tim drake x reader#red robin x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#robin x reader#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#cassandra cain x reader#batfamily#batman
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WIP WEDNESDAY
Every bat has a cat.
There’s an old phrase in Gotham: every Bat has a Cat.
Like most things whispered through Gotham’s smog, it’s only mostly untrue. Technically, the only Bat who ever really had a Cat was Batman himself—and even that’s been more of a tug-of-war than a love story. Not for lack of effort on Catwoman’s part. She’s tried everything: seduction, threats, borderline kidnapping. At one point, she swore she’d adopt all of Batman’s kids just to spite him. She’s teamed up with the Birds of Prey—where a few of the Bat-daughters moonlight—and once even tried to snatch up Little Timothy Drake back when he was still Robin, dangling the offer of being her “pet stray.” It didn’t take. Timmy was too invested in feathered spandex and daddy issues.
And then there was that… incident with Nightwing. But Gotham doesn’t talk about that. Gotham forgets. Gotham represses.
Still, the saying stuck around, mostly as a joke. A rite of passage, the locals would wink: “Once the birds become Bats, they’ll find their Cat.” Like puberty, but with more rooftop flirting and potential felony charges.
It was all fun and folklore—until it wasn’t.
No one really knows when the joke stopped being a joke. When the line between myth and prophecy started to blur. All anyone can remember is the night it finally got everyone’s attention.
It happened at the grand reopening of the Gotham Museum, debuting a new exhibit on Ancient Sumerian artifacts. Bruce Wayne showed up with two-thirds of his grim duckling trio—Tim and Damian in tuxedos, sulking appropriately (Jason, the other brooding duckling has refused to come, and everyone knew Duke and Dick to be too much of sunshine boys to be part of the brooding bunch). The opening night was invitation-only, with patrons shuffled between exhibits like a very wealthy cattle drive: first Sumerian, then Medieval, then an optional wine bar where the Chardonnay was too warm.
It was during one of these exhibit rotations that Tim saw it. A flicker. A whisper of motion at the corner of his eye. Something feline, something familiar, slipping back into the shadows of the Sumerian wing.
He didn’t hesitate. He turned to Bruce and Damian, voice clipped and sharp.
“Catwoman’s here.”
As soon as Tim muttered the alert, the Bat Family trio slipped into action with the kind of silent efficiency that only years of crimefighting, trauma bonding, and tactical group chats could provide.
Bruce gave a curt nod. “We’re changing. Now.”
It took them less than five minutes to disappear from the gala and reappear as the Bat, Red Robin, and the Robin—silent shadows in kevlar and purpose. They moved through back corridors, slipping past distracted security and tipsy patrons, until they reached the Sumerian exhibit once more.
Only this time, the lights were off.
Tim frowned behind his mask. “That's not ominous at all.”
“Should we announce ourselves?” Damian asked, already reaching for his sword.
“No,” Bruce answered curtly, gesturing for silence.
That’s when the voices drifted through the shadows. Muffled, conversational, and—oddly—playful.
“I dunno, Kitty,” a teen male voice said, exasperated but not particularly hurried. “Mama said not to overindulge, and we already got most of the artifacts we wanted.”
Tim blinked. Mama? Oh great. A new Cat-themed villain with actual parental boundaries.
“Sure,” replied a teen girl, voice bright with amusement. “But look at this diamond, Stray. Tell me it’s not gorgeous. Wouldn’t it look perfect in our collection?”
There was a dramatic sigh, the kind of sigh that implied someone had already lost this argument many times before.
“Mmhhmm... you know what? Fine. What’s one more diamond in the bag?”
That was their cue. The trio advanced, silent as breath, until they reached the edge of the display hall and got their first clear look at the culprits.
It… wasn’t Catwoman.
It was a girl, sure—dressed in what looked like a Catwoman suit, but styled after a tuxedo cat, complete with white accents at her gloves, boots and torso. Her partner, taller and broader, wore a sleeker suit—blacker than night and painted to his skin, save for white hands and feet—and had a calm posture that said yes, I do this a lot and no, I’m not impressed by any of you. Both wore green-tinted goggles that glowed faintly in the dark, and both had visible tufts of snow-white hair peeking from their hoods.
Tim stared. “Okay, so… not Catwoman.”
“No,” Bruce confirmed, grim.
Damian narrowed his eyes. “They are amateurs.”
“Amateurs who just stole a priceless diamond,” Tim muttered. “And called it ‘pretty.’”
Bruce’s jaw tightened. “We move. Now.”
Batman dropped down in front of the display case like thunder in a cape, his shadow stretching long and ominous over the marble floor.
Red Robin and Robin flanked him a beat later, dramatic and ready—Tim in full tactical mode, Damian practically vibrating with the urge to stab something.
“Step away from the artifacts,” Batman growled.
The two teens froze mid-theft. The girl blinked behind her green goggles. The boy raised an unimpressed brow that none of them could see but everyone could feel.
“Oh no,” the girl deadpanned, dramatically clutching the diamond to her chest. “It’s the law.”
“Panic,” the boy muttered with a lazy smirk.
“You’re trespassing on federal property,” Batman continued, all gravel and menace. “Surrender. Now.”
“Hmm,” the girl—Kitty—tilted her head. “No thanks.”
“Yeah,” the boy—Stray, apparently—shrugged. “We’re kind of indoor ferals. Surrendering isn’t in the skill set.”
Tim lunged first. He was fast, calculated, and nearly caught her.
Nearly.
Kitty somersaulted backward over a Sumerian statue with all the grace of an Olympic gymnast raised by a jungle cat. She landed en pointe on the exhibit railing, wiggled her fingers in a “ta-ta” motion, and vanished into the shadows like smoke.
Damian growled and went after Stray. “I will neuter you.”
“Big words, Bird Boy,” Stray laughed, ducking and weaving as Damian’s staff sliced through empty air. “But you gotta catch me first.”
Batman threw a batarang—clean, perfect arc, museum-quality aim.
It bounced off the floor as Stray backflipped over it, landing in a low crouch. “Mama warned us about this. Rule number one: Don’t play fetch with the Bat, you aren't a dog, you are a cat and cats has stabdards.”
“Not that she has anything to talk about” answer Kitty, sitting over a display. “She is the first one who plays cat and mouse with him”
Tim leapt from above, a textbook ambush.
Kitty twisted in midair, caught his cape mid-descent, and used it to swing him into a wall.
“Ow,” Tim muttered from the floor, sprawled in an undignified tangle of limbs and regrets. “That’s—okay. That’s fair.”
“Gotta admit,” Kitty said, lightly jogging backward while juggling the diamond between her hands, “you guys are way more coordinated than the usual mall cops.”
“But you still can’t catch us,” Stray added cheerfully, cartwheeling away from Damian’s latest sword swipe and Batman batarang. “Seriously, has anyone ever told you three you try really hard?”
“They’re cute,” Kitty said with mock affection. “Like, ‘aw, they think they’re scary’ cute. Specially the little one, you think I can add him to my display? I always wanted a bird”
“I call dibs on the one who smells like coffee!!”
Batman’s eyes narrowed. “Who trained you?”
They shared a glance. Then, in perfect unison:
“Mama did.”
Robin skidded to a stop, scowling. “You mean Catwoman.”
Stay grinned, sharp and smug. “We call her Mama. You probably call her when you're lonely.”
“Ooooh,” Kitty winced. “He’s gonna stab you for that.”
“Let him try.”
Another dive. Another swipe. Another miss.
They danced around the trio like mischievous spirits in catsuits, leaping, tumbling, and disappearing behind columns and curtains, always just out of reach.
By the time security finally wandered in—late, confused, and holding tiny flashlights—the Sumerian wing looked like someone had hosted a parkour-themed wedding in it.
The only thing left of the mysterious teens?
A single calling card, perched atop the display case like a signature.
It was shaped like a white paw print.
Tim picked it up and read aloud, “From Mama’s kittens, with love.”
Damian scowled. “I hate cat rogues.”
Batman just stared at the shadows, his voice low. “She trained them.”
“Yeah,” Tim muttered, rubbing his sore shoulder. “And apparently, she trained them too well.”
#wip wednesday#dc x dp#dead tired#brain dead#dpxdc#tim x danny#deadtired#dcxdp#braindead#serious chaos
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