#or... close enough at least? .w.;; idk this probably counts as an AU or something

[fedoraspooky]

So intrigued about toon shenanigans!! Have you made designs for the other two? Pre this or post this or of any sort?

Since they're expies and all I already had a general idea of what they looked like floating around, and their descriptions in the ttrpg were kinda sparse save for Mystic mentioning Pip had a blue dress... So for the sake of solidifying their designs a lil' more, I decided to draw all three of 'em together!

They're playing with some pogs they found!! :D

[ppangjae]

BEST INTEREST | Jaehyun

SUMMARY. Be careful what you wish for. It may be your dream come true or your biggest nightmare.

GENRE. fluff | angst | time travel!au | ex friends to lover!au (this one’s going to hurt) | inspired by the movie 13 going 30

WORD COUNT. 11k+ words (yes, idk what’s wrong with me either)

author’s note. this is unedited so if there are any mistakes, i am sorry! also i highly suggest listening to pluto projector by rex orange county while reading this monster of a fic! it gets you in the mood. happy reading~

I feel at home when I’m around you

Jaehyun has many wishes, with most of those wishes he wants to come true. He wishes to be like the cool kids, specifically the guy everyone wants to idolize and admire. He wishes to be popular, to be a social magnet that attracts all the friends he can possibly have. And boy, does he really want those wishes to come true when he sneaks a longing glance at his long-time crush, Mina, dancing on the dance floor in her beautiful homecoming dress. If only she just looked his way and noticed him—

“Close your mouth or you’ll start to catch flies.” His mouth is physically clamped shut with your two hands. He sends you a death glare but it falls unnoticed when you pop a couple of barbeque-flavoured chips into your mouth. When you sense his glare, you look back at him and raise up your hands in defense. “I’m just trying to help. But don’t you think you’re being a bit too obvious about your crush on Mina?”

Jaehyun tears his gaze away from you to look back at Mina. She looks pretty tonight, but she’s always looked beautiful to Jaehyun no matter what day it was. It’s pretty safe to say that Jaehyun’s whipped for her, for she is the reason why he always has a goofy, lovesick smile spread across his lips. You follow Jaehyun’s line of sight and it lands on Mina. Are you surprised? No, not the slightest bit.

Just like how Jaehyun has his wishes, you have your own wishes too. You wish you were as beautiful as Mina. You wish you had perfect 20/20 vision like Mina. You wish you were fit and athletic like Mina. You wish you had a great sense of style like Mina. You wish you had a charm and aura like Mina. But there’s one important wish that you want to come true; you wish Jaehyun at least noticed you or had some sort of mutual feelings for you… just like those same feelings he has for Mina. 

But you’re just his best friend. You’re just someone who’s been by his side for almost his entire existence. 

“Your birthday is in three minutes, Jaehyun!” You exclaim, looking down at your wrist watch. You scrunch up your nose to adjust your glasses on your nose bridge. Just as you’re about to pop another chip into your mouth, you accidentally knock over your glass of Fanta, spilling some of it on your homecoming dress. You let out a string of curses, grabbing a napkin to dab the small stain. 

Jaehyun smiles at you as you clean up the stain. You’ve always been clumsy. He looks down at his watch and indeed, his birthday is in three minutes. It was a huge coincidence for homecoming to be scheduled the night before Jaehyun’s birthday; Valentine’s Day. In fact, on the days leading up to homecoming, Jaehyun’s been planning on confessing his feelings to Mina. 

“It is,” he chuckles softly. 

“What are you planning on doing to kick off your eighteenth birthday? We can definitely grab some drinks on the way home, or you can come over and have a Marvel marathon with me—”

Your words are drowned out as he finds himself stealing another glance at Mina. She’s laughing with her friends. It’s almost as if she’s sensed his stare because she’s looking around the ballroom until her eyes meet his. He feels his heart skip a beat. 

“I’m going to confess to Mina.” He cuts you off.

With eyes wide like saucers, you can barely stop him because he’s already making his way towards her. Mina seems to take notice that he’s approaching her. She looks at him confusedly. You’re watching it all go down from your seat. With every step he takes towards her, your heart continues to shatter into more pieces. The closer he gets to her, the more you realize that you’re just a friend. A best friend. That’s all you’ll ever be.

“Mina?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Yes, Jaehyun?

“I need to tell you something.” He says nervously.

Her friends leave her alone with him. She straightens her posture and gestures for him to continue. He gulps nervously. He just can’t seem to stop imagining how perfect his life would be if Mina returned his feelings. He’s prepared for this moment for days on end and there’s no way that Mina would reject him. Right? 

She gives him a warm smile. “What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

He sucks in a deep breath. Here it goes.

“I really like you, Mina.”

She blinks.

Once. 

Twice.

And then she starts to laugh.

Is she laughing? Why is she laughing? 

“So, do you like me back—”

“Babe, do you want me to go grab your sweater from the car?” 

Eunwoo wraps his arm around Mina. Jaehyun stares at Eunwoo’s arm, his stare trailing back to Mina. Mina’s looking at him with an expression he can’t seem to read. She pats Eunwoo’s arm and turns towards him. “Sure. In fact, I think it’s time to get going. I’ll meet you at the front, alright, babe?”

He watches Eunwoo peck her cheek. “Alright, I’ll be parked at the front.”

As Eunwoo leaves the two of them again, Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together and Mina stifles a giggle. 

“Jaehyun, I’m so sorry. I don’t see you that way. I see you as a brother.” She places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a tight squeeze. “I’m dating Eunwoo. We’ve been dating for five months now, did you not know? Besides, I thought you and Y/N were a thing! You guys seem to match each other better.”

He scoffs. You and him? Is it possible to disappear into thin air? Is it possible to turn back time? 

From your seat, you can see Jaehyun frustratingly run his fingers through his hair. Mina is giving him a sad smile and leaves him alone on the dance floor. Your face scrunches up and settles into a look of horror. Did Eunwoo just kiss Mina’s cheek? Since when were they dating? You did not expect things to turn out this way. You didn’t expect Jaehyun to be turned down like this, right in front of his two eyes. If you were to ever get rejected by your crush, you would dread getting turned down like this.

Humiliated. Embarrassed. Heartbroken. Anger. Jealousy. Jaehyun was going through many emotions at once. As he’s left all alone on the dance floor, his feet lead him out to the parking lot. You watch Jaehyun storm out and it prompts you to run after him. You’re holding the ends of your dress up as you struggle to catch up to your best friend. Soon enough, you’re kicking off your heels and chasing after him on your bare feet. 

“Jaehyun! Wait!”

When Jaehyun reaches his car, he halts to a stop. You almost bump into him. He turns around to face you. He has a frown etched on his face. “What do you want?”

“Jaehyun—”

“She doesn’t like me.” Jaehyun cuts you off. “She’s dating Eunwoo. But do you want to know what else she said to me?”

“W-What? Jaehyun, I—” You look up at him confusedly.

“She said that she thought you and I were dating.” He lets out a breathy laugh. “Us? Dating? Why would we be dating?”

“Jaehyun—”

“Mina would’ve ended up liking me back if she didn’t think we were dating.” He sighs with anger. “I think we spend too much time together that people are starting to think that we’re dating. But we’re not!”

“So, you’re telling me that two best friends can’t spend a lot of time together?” You ask. “Why do I feel like you’re blaming me? Like I’m the reason why Mina rejected you—”

“Maybe because you are the reason!” He yells. 

You scoff. “Who are you? Are you the Jaehyun I grew up with? Ever since you started crushing on Mina, you’ve slowly changed yourself into someone I don’t know anymore.”

“Maybe you really don’t know who I am anymore.” 

“I’m disappointed in you, Jaehyun.” You feel your eyes water. “Mina rejecting you is probably the wake up call I needed. Best friends? We’re not best friends anymore. And to think that I—you know what? I’m not even going to bother.”

“Y/N—” He starts as he begins to regret lashing out on you.

“Oh, before I forget,” you mutter, opening your bag to pull out Jaehyun’s birthday present. It comes along with a party popper. You shove his birthday present, which is a handmade photo album filled with all of the pictures you both took throughout your friendship. To top it all off, you pop the party popper, the confetti shoots up into the air. “Happy Birthday, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun looks at you with defeat as you storm to your car. You’re hopping into the car and igniting the engine. There are hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Jaehyun rushes to your side of the car and knocks on the window. “Y/N, open up! I didn’t mean what I said! I’m sorry!”

You ignore him, backing out of your parking spot. For good measure, you flip him off and drive off, leaving him all alone in the parking lot. 

Jaehyun watches your car get smaller and smaller as it travels farther and farther. 

What a horrible way to kick off his birthday. What a horrible way to kick off Valentine’s Day. Not only did he get rejected by his crush, but he just lost his best friend. A piece of confetti that was stuck in his hair falls down and catches his eye. He stares at it as it slowly falls down to the concrete ground. 

His eyes flutter shut.

Jaehyun wishes to be everything Mina looks for in a guy. Jaehyun wishes to be the guy Mina ends up dating. He wishes to look better than Eunwoo. He wishes to be more successful than Eunwoo. Jaehyun wishes to be on the front cover of every magazine, to be dripped in luxury clothing, and to be swimming in riches. He wishes for Mina to regret rejecting him.

He wishes all of this to happen when he turns 28. In fact, he wishes to be 28 right now.

But be careful what you wish for.

“Mr. Jeong, you can open your eyes now.”

His eyebrows knit in confusion. He peeps one eye open. A bright vanity light blinds him momentarily until he decides to open his other eye. He’s staring at his reflection in the mirror before meeting eyes with an unfamiliar woman. He lets out a surprised yelp, causing the woman to jump. He analyzes her for a couple of seconds. Is she a makeup artist? What is he doing in front of a vanity mirror? Why is he getting his makeup done? Wait, why does he look like that? Why does he look like he’s aged—

“Jeong Jaehyun, we’re starting the photoshoot for the B-cuts in fifteen minutes!”

Photoshoot?

B-cuts?

Mr. Jeong?

He looks up at what seems like his makeup artist. He gestures to her to lean in closer. She looks at him questioningly until she leans in closer. He whispers, “How did I get here?”

She snorts. She looks at him as if he’s gone crazy. “Don’t worry, Mr. Jeong, I know your sudden rise to fame is still something hard to believe. But Mr. Jeong, it’s been eight years since you entered the industry and yet, you still don’t know how you got here?”

Eight years?

Fame?

He’s famous? Since when?

“I’m—I’m famous?!” Jaehyun blurts out. 

His makeup artist slowly nods her head. “Yes, Mr. Jeong. God, I think you’ve lost it.”

He finds himself looking back at his reflection. He’s surely aged. But he aged like fine wine. He’s getting his makeup done for a photoshoot. He’s been working in the modelling industry for eight years. He’s famous. He must be rich or something, but that’s something that he has to find out later. He’s not even sure how old he is right now.

What is going on?

His thoughts are interrupted when his phone buzzes in his pocket. 

jungwoo (10:32 am): i found a good place for dinner tonight! i’ll text you the address. can’t wait to see you! don’t miss me too much. 

jungwoo (10:33 am): or you could miss me. i know i’m pretty irresistible.

It takes Jaehyun a couple of hours to get used to the new world he’s living in. He’s not sure how he got here. Heck, he’s not even sure why he’s here in the first place. All he could remember is standing all alone in the parking lot in nothing but his homecoming suit, heartbroken after getting rejected by Mina, and fucking up his friendship with you. 

He’s learned a couple of things so far. He’s been working in the modelling industry for eight years. It’s been eight years. He’s currently 28, which means that he entered the industry at the young age of 20. According to his manager, Doyoung, he’s an in-demand model. He was part of the line up for New York Fashion Week, Dior’s Spring Collection, and even Gucci’s Fall Collection. He’s rich. It took him a couple of minutes to process the eight golden figures on his online banking account. He’s successful. This is the life he envisioned to live. 

“Mr. Jeong, we’ve arrived at the destination.”

Jaehyun tears his gaze from his phone. His personal driver is looking at him through the rearview mirror. Jaehyun looks out the window to see an unfamiliar restaurant. It’s a famous barbeque restaurant, according to his best friend slash foodie, Jungwoo. 

“Thank you, sir. I’ll text you when I’m ready to be picked up.” Jaehyun bows his head.

As he’s stepping out of the car, a scoff threatens to escape his personal driver’s lips. When Jaehyun closes the door, his personal driver huffs out a breath.

“Since when did he learn how to say thank you? He never says thank you.”

Jaehyun’s about to step inside of the restaurant until he hears his name being called out. He looks to his right to see Jungwoo waving him over. Him and Jungwoo go way back. Jaehyun remembers meeting Jungwoo in high school, specifically in eleventh grade chemistry class. If Jaehyun wasn’t with you, he would definitely be with Jungwoo. 

“Jungwoo!” Jaehyun exclaims, fist-bumping him.

“Did you miss me?” Jungwoo teases. 

“Maybe a little.” He shrugs his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“You came right on time. I reserved a private room for the both of us.” Jungwoo throws an arm over his shoulder before leaning in to whisper in his ear. “We wouldn’t want those crazy fans to be interrupting our dinner, now would we?”

Jaehyun nods his head. He almost forgot how famous he was. But he was immediately reminded of his fame when he looked up to see his face plastered on one of the billboards. Jungwoo nudges him and hands him a face mask and a pair of sunglasses to cover him up.

“Thanks. I almost forgot.”

Jungwoo smirks. “Almost forgot how famous you are?”

The restaurant is filled with teenagers and couples. The sunglasses and face mask is doing him justice for the moment they step into the restaurant, his cover isn’t blown. The waitress brings them to their reserved private room and the moment Jaehyun takes off his disguise, the waitress lets out a soft gasp. Jaehyun glances at the waitress and sends her a wink. Her eyebrows raise and she bows her head.

“Don’t worry, I told them that we’ll be eating here.” Jungwoo reassures him. “But I don’t think the owners told their employees. Nothing to worry, I’ll make sure everything’s under control—”

“Jungwoo,” Jaehyun stops him. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Jungwoo furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Are you sure? I don’t want Doyoung coming for my ass after your entire face is all over the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper.”

“Don’t worry.” Jaehyun reassures him. He gestures to the food. “Shall we start eating?”

As they’re digging in, Jungwoo can’t help but look at Jaehyun. Jaehyun is busy shoving food into his mouth, chewing with his mouth closed and his dimples forming with every chew. Jaehyun seems to sense Jungwoo’s stare and looks up to meet his gaze. “What?”

Jungwoo shakes his head and chuckles. “Nothing. It just looks like you haven’t eaten all day.”

“Because I haven’t,” Jaehyun laughs. “I’ve been busy with a photoshoot all day. I wasn’t able to eat lunch. Hey, don’t you think the pork cutlets remind you of Y/N’s? I swear her pork cutlets are so much better—”

“Y/N?” Jungwoo quirks an eyebrow at the mention of your name.

“Yeah, Y/N.” Jaehyun swallows his food and grabs an empty glass. “Hey, we should probably go visit her after dinner and have a couple of drinks.”

Jungwoo’s pouring water into Jaehyun’s glass. He looks at him with a funny expression. Is Jaehyun listening to himself right now? Is he in his right mind? 

“I don’t think you would want to do that, Jaehyun.” Jungwoo shakes his head.

Jaehyun frowns. “What do you mean? We always go over to Y/N’s place to have a couple of drinks. It’s either that or the usual Marvel marathons—”

“Jaehyun, did you hit your head this morning?” Jungwoo chuckles. “It’s like you have short term memory loss or something.”

“I’m honestly so confused,” Jaehyun scratches his head. “We always go to Y/N’s place for drinks and movie marathons. Is there something I don’t know—”

“Jaehyun, you stopped talking to Y/N after senior homecoming.” 

Jaehyun can’t seem to comprehend the words spewing out of Jungwoo’s mouth. “W-What?”

“You and Y/N had a horrible fight on the night of senior year homecoming and ever since then, the both of you haven’t forgiven each other.” Jungwoo looks at him confusedly. “This is old news, Jaehyun. Are you sure you’re not going through memory loss?”

“Y/N and I…” Jaehyun trails off. “We stopped talking after homecoming?”

Jungwoo nods his head. “The both of you broke off your friendship after that night. Y/N hated you and I wouldn’t be surprised if she still does. You guys ended your friendship pretty badly.”

“Y/N hates me?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“And I hate her?”

“Well, yeah. It’s a shame because the both of you got along so perfectly and all it took was your stupid girlfriend to ruin such a perfect friendship—”

“I have a girlfriend?” Jaehyun’s eyes widen. “Since when?”

Jungwoo snorts. “Don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten about your ten-year relationship with Mina. You and Mina have been dating since senior year homecoming.”

“Mina and I are dating…” Jaehyun trails off. “It just seems too good to be true.”

Jungwoo smiles. “Yeah, you’re pretty whipped for your spoiled brat of a girlfriend. By the way, speaking of Y/N, she’s the reason why I wanted to have dinner with you.”

“Y/N? What about her?” Jaehyun grabs his glass of water to take a sip.

Jungwoo watches him drink some water. “Y/N’s getting married in a month and I figured—”

Jaehyun spits the water out of his mouth. He bursts out into a coughing fit after choking on some of his water. Jungwoo wipes a couple of water droplets that landed on his face and winces. “Y/N’s getting married?!”

“I probably should’ve waited for you to finish drinking your water—”

“In a month?!”

Jungwoo nods his head. “Yes, which is why I figured it would be best for you to attend her wedding to settle your twelve-year fight and reunite as the best friends you used to be.”

Jaehyun coughs one last time. “Tell me that one more time. I don’t believe you.”

“Y/N’s getting married.”

Jaehyun nods. “Okay—”

“And she’s getting married in a month.”

“Well, shit—”

Jungwoo smirks. “And you wouldn’t guess who she’s getting married to.”

“To who?”

“To—”

“Flowers for you.”

A perfectly arranged bouquet of pink and white carnations is gently placed on your desk. You can feel your cheeks heat up. As you set down your pen, you reach for the bouquet of flowers to give it a quick sniff. Your receptionist slash partner in crime, Wendy, smiles and leaves your office to give you some privacy. 

You’re reading the note attached to the bouquet. The handwriting is somewhat messy, causing you to let out a giggle. However, the message written on the note makes your heart do cartwheels. You grab your phone to make a quick phone call. 

“I’m guessing you got the flowers?”

He can hear you smile through the phone. You hum in reply, sniffing the flowers one last time. “Yes, I did. Look at you, getting more romantic by the day.”

“Well, you are the love of my life.” He teases you and it’s enough for you to melt. “I passed by the flower shop on my way to work this morning and decided to start your day off with a nice bouquet of carnations. Do you like them?”

“I love them.” You gush out. “Thank you for this, love. You really didn’t have to—”

“I wanted to.” He reassures you. “Anything to put that beautiful smile on your face.”

“Stop being greasy.” You groan. 

He laughs. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop. I have to get going! We have a meeting in a couple of minutes.”

“Alright. I’ll let you go.” You smile. “Work hard, love! I’ll cook up a great hearty dinner for us tonight.”

“Sounds delicious. I’ll see you tonight, love.” He mumbles. “I love you! Twenty-four hours a day! Seven days a week!”

“I love you too.” You giggle. “See you later, future husband.”

As you hang up your phone, you’re heading towards your closet to pull out an empty vase for the flowers. You’re pouring in some water from the washroom sink. You hear the door to your office open. You poke one head out the door. 

“Y/N, there’s someone who wants to see you.” Wendy says with an uneasy look on her face. It kind of throws you off. 

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t remember having any appointments or meetings scheduled for today.”

“I know,” she purses her lips into a tight line. “But he really needs to speak with you.”

“He?” You say confusedly. “Alright. Just give me a couple of minutes and you can let him in.”

You set the vase down on your table. A wide smile is etched across your lips. It’s such a wide smile that your cheeks are starting to hurt. As you let out a happy sigh, you gather all of your hair to tie it up into a lazy ponytail. Grabbing your glasses, you put them on before getting back to work.

The door swings open. “Excuse me, sir, you can’t just—”

You look up, alarmed by the commotion. Wendy looks at you in panic as she tries to stop a man from entering your office. But she’s not the one you’re looking at. You’re looking at—

“Jaehyun?” 

Jaehyun feels the air being knocked out of his lungs. You look back at him with the same surprised expression. He can feel his face soften at the sight of you. A couple of seconds pass by with just the two of you surprised by each other’s presence. 

You’ve changed, appearance-wise. He notices how you’ve successfully nailed your sense of style. You’ve grown out your hair. Your face has matured but you still have those chubby cheeks he once adored. He still does. You’re foreign. But at the same time, you’re familiar. 

“H-Hey, I—”

You’re pointing out the door. “Get out of my office.”

“What?”

“I said,” you raise an eyebrow, “get out of my office.”

“But I literally just got here—”

You’re pulling out an hourglass sand timer from the drawer of your desk and slamming it down onto the surface. Jaehyun flinches at the loud slam, gulping nervously. “One minute—”

“One minute for what?” He panics.

“You have one minute to explain why you’re here.” You fold your arms. “Time is ticking.”

“Okay, wait, this is overwhelming—”

“Fifty-five, fifty-four, fifty-three—”

“Okay! Fine!” He exclaims. “I want to work with you.”

Your expression hardens. What kind of tricks is he pulling off? Is this some sort of sabotage to your photography business? What is he trying to do? You glance at Wendy, who looks back at you with the same gaze. 

“You want to work with me?” You ask.

He nods his head. “Yes. I want to work with you—”

“Why?”

“Because—Because—”

“You don’t seem like you have a reason.” You shrug your shoulders. “Why would I work with you if you can’t come up with a believable and convincing reason—”

“I want to give you more leverage in the photography industry.” Jaehyun explains. “And why not take up an offer from me, a model that’s in demand in the industry?”

You fall silent. Your eyes trail down to the timer. All of the sand has shifted to the other end of the hourglass. Time is up. Jaehyun follows your gaze that’s focused on the timer. You fold your arms.

“I’m rejecting your offer.”

He looks at you incredulously. “What?! Why?!”

“Because if I accepted your offer, it would seem as if I’m in for the money.” You shake your head. “I’m not in it for the money. You may be the richest model in the entire world right now and sure, you can definitely help me out. But I don’t need it.”

“Turn the timer around again.” He commands.

You look up at him. “What?”

“I said, turn the timer around again.” 

“And why would I do that?”

He scoffs. “Because I have many more reasons as to why you should take up my offer. There’s something inside of me that tells me there’s a deeper reason as to why you’re rejecting my offer.”

“Deeper reason? Trust me, Jaehyun, it’s not that deep—”

“You’re rejecting my offer because of what we used to be.” Jaehyun walks closer to your desk. When he reaches your desk, he grabs the hourglass and resets the timer. The both of you meet eyes. “Best friends. That’s what we used to be. Is that why you don’t want to work with me? Are you still mad at me? Even after all these years?”

You stare at him with somewhat teary eyes. You shake your head even though your mind knows that he’s telling the truth. You like to think that Jaehyun can’t see your eyes that are slowly welling up with tears. But Jaehyun can see it. He can see it clearly.

“No. Whatever we used to be doesn’t matter right now. In fact, there must be a deeper reason as to why you’re suddenly reaching out to me after ten years.” You bite back. “Why? Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

“Jungwoo told me that you’re getting married.”

You scoff. “That little motherfucker—”

“And I figured that it would be nice to help you out with your wedding.” He adds. “Ten years is a long time, Y/N. I’m pretty sure that’s enough time for the both of us to mature and grow up and get over whatever broke our friendship.”

You shake your head. “I don’t need your help with my wedding, thank you very much—”

“Just let me help.” He pleads.

“Why? Is it because you feel guilty?” You ask. “Do I look like a charity case to you? Does it look like I don’t have enough to plan my own wedding?”

“No, you don’t look like a charity case to me. I’m sure you have more than enough to plan your own wedding.” He explains. “But yes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for ruining our precious friendship and the only way I can fix it is if you would accept my extra help, even if you don’t need it.”

The both of you look down at the hourglass. Time’s up. You can see Jaehyun reach out to grab the hourglass but you snatch it away just in time. Your grip on the hourglass tightens. 

“I’m sure there’s a catch.” You mutter. “There must be a catch.”

He raises his hands up in defense. “There’s no catch. Just you, working with me. That’s all. Besides, I’ve been looking at your work and it’s amazing. You deserve more attention.”

You stare into his eyes to look for any malice. But your hardened gaze softens when you realize that you’re looking into the same warm eyes you looked at twelve years ago. You look away from him. 

“Fine.” You whisper. “But the moment I find it suspicious, I won’t hesitate on kicking you out of my life again.”

His face lights up. 

“You won’t regret this, Y/N. I’ll make sure of it.”

Click. Click. Click.

The studio is filled with stylists and makeup artists rushing all over the place for one model. One. You’re extremely overwhelmed by the busy environment even though it’s an environment you’ve been accustomed to since you started working as a photographer. Standing in front of the camera, you spot Jaehyun. He’s getting his clothes fixed by his stylist. You hate to admit it, but Jaehyun looks gorgeous when he’s dressed up in luxury clothing. It’s almost as if luxury clothing was made for him to wear. He’s surely an IT boy, even though he’s a grown man. There’s a reason why he’s adored and glorified in the industry and you can see it just by his charm and presence. 

Your heartbeat almost stops when Jaehyun’s eyes meet yours. A smile begins to spread his lips as he starts making his way towards you. You’re nervously fiddling with your fingers as he gets closer to you. 

“I see that you made it,” he greets you.

You scoff. “It’s not like I had a choice, did I?”

His smile is wiped off his face. “Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”

Your eyes scan the studio until they stop on the photographer standing behind the camera— “Is that—oh fuck no, you did not just—is that who I think it is?”

“Yes. That is Johnny Suh, in the flesh.” 

It is Johnny Suh in the flesh. He’s scanning through the pictures he’s taken of Jaehyun. You’ve always wanted to meet Johnny. In fact, you’ve followed and adored his work since the beginning of his photography career. When he started to earn more recognition for his work, you couldn’t help but feel happy for him. But now that he’s within a ten metre radius from you, you suddenly don’t know how to act.

“Let me introduce you to him—”

“What?” Your head jerks in Jaehyun’s direction. “Why? Why would—”

“You’ll be working with him.” Jaehyun cuts you off and your mouth falls open. “Don’t tell me you forgot—”

“I don’t remember you telling me that—”

“Y/N, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

Finally? You turn to see Johnny approaching the both of you. Your hands start to sweat out of nervousness. As Johnny finally stands in front of you, there are a couple of things you’ve noticed. One, he’s incredibly tall. Two, he’s not the slightest bit intimidating. Three, he looks like the sweetest person on Earth. You nervously fiddle with your fingers, a bad habit you can’t seem to break.

“My best buddy Jaehyun here showed me your work,” Johnny begins, “but jokes on him because I’ve been following your Instagram feed for a year now!”

“You’re joking,” you blurt out. “A year now? I would’ve noticed that immediately—”

“Well, I don’t think that matters now because we’ll be working together for Jaehyun’s photoshoot.” Johnny interrupts you in the nicest way possible. You’re in the midst of scrolling through your followers list to find Johnny’s account until Jaehyun places his hand on yours. “Shall we get started, Y/N?”

You and Jaehyun look at each other. A smile begins to spread across Jaehyun’s lips when he sees your eyes light up and sparkle. Are those stars in your eyes—

“First off, it’s such an honour to be working with you.” You gush out and Johnny flushes a deep red. “And yes, we shall get started.”

“Let’s make some memories!”

And you do make memories.

“So, Jaehyun’s been telling me about your wedding coming up in a month.”

You’re in the midst of shoving a spoonful of rice into your mouth when Johnny brings up your wedding. The immediate switch-up in conversation makes you squint your eyes at Jaehyun, who sits right across from you. You place your spoon back down onto your plate, slowly nodding your head. All that is heard is the sizzle of beef on the grill.

“Yes, I’m getting married in a month.” You smile. 

Jaehyun can’t help but notice how bright your smile is. He wonders who you’re getting married to. He wants to know who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. It makes him happy seeing you happy. But surprisingly, there’s a small chunk of him that’s not. And he’s not sure why.

“How does that feel?” Johnny asks. His eyes slightly widen. “That is, if you’re comfortable talking about your engagement and marriage—”

“Oh, it’s no problem!” You exclaim, reassuring him. Your smile never seems to leave your face. You look like a teenage girl getting giddy over her first crush. “I’m getting married to my boyfriend whom I’ve been in a relationship with for almost nine years.”

“Nine—” Johnny almost chokes on his food. “Nine years?!”

You chuckle. “It’s a long time, huh?”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together. Nine years. You and Jaehyun haven’t spoken to each other for ten years. Your friendship ended ten years ago. That means, Jaehyun must’ve known your fiance—

“I’ve always wished to get married to my high school sweetheart,” Johnny sighs happily. “But it’s nice to see you living my dream. You deserve it.”

You nod your head. “It’s something I’m proud of.”

Johnny nudges Jaehyun. “Hey, aren’t you dating your high school sweetheart too? Mina—”

Jaehyun stares at you. You’re too busy grilling the beef to even notice his burning gaze. He expected to meet eyes with you. Mina is the reason why your friendship with him was destroyed. But why are you acting completely unfazed by the mention of Mina, the woman he’s currently in a relationship with and the woman who tore you two apart? 

“Yeah,” Jaehyun mumbles, looking away from you. “Her name’s Mina. We both met in high school. We’re still going strong.”

Johnny grins. “Are you planning on proposing?”

Jaehyun purses his lips into a tight line. Thoughts cloud his mind. 

He’s always wanted to be with Mina. He’s had the biggest crush on her. It’s a dream come true knowing that Mina is his long-time girlfriend. However, he doesn’t have memories of his ten-year relationship with Mina. He doesn’t remember going out on dates with her. He’s been brought to the future where he has to draw connections and figure ten year’s worth of memories out on his own. 

But why is it that his wishes that have come true, have turned out to be completely different to what he expected it to be? Sure, he’s dating Mina, but he hasn’t heard from her yet. Sure, he’s living the luxurious life, but it’s not as exciting as he thought it would be. Why is he so affected by the news of your wedding? He feels betrayed. He feels like he should’ve been a better friend. He feels guilty.

He shrugs off his thoughts. 

“Soon.”

The night is still young and Johnny is the first one to bid farewell. As you’re both waving Johnny goodbye in front of the Korean restaurant, Jaehyun spots an ice cream parlour across the street. As soon as Johnny’s car is no longer in sight, you’re digging in your purse for your car keys—

“Want to grab ice cream?” Your movements halt to a stop. 

You look up at Jaehyun. “Don’t you think it’s getting a bit late—”

“It’s never too late for ice cream.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Besides, you love ice cream.”

You bite your lip. “I used to love ice cream. I don’t like ice cream anymore. The last time I had ice cream was eight years ago? Seven years ago?”

Jaehyun frowns. “Let me at least treat you to ice cream. You never know, it might revive the love you once had for ice cream.”

“But—” You begin to protest until Jaehyun pouts. You let out a sigh. “Fine.”

The both of you cross the street to get to the ice cream parlour. You’re surprised that the ice cream parlour is still open so late at night. In front of you, there’s a menu filled with several flavours to choose from. Your eyes scan the menu until they stop at a familiar flavour.

“They have pistachio!” You and Jaehyun both say in unison.

You clear your throat. “I should probably try something new.”

Surprisingly, Jaehyun’s heart is beating so fast. He’s not sure why.

The both of you sit out on the small patio with your ice cream cones. To your dismay, you both got the same flavour, pistachio. Jaehyun watches you as you taste your ice cream. Your eyebrows raise. 

“God, who would’ve thought I’d miss this?” You think aloud.

Jaehyun smiles. “Do you regret grabbing ice cream with me now?”

You shake your head in reply. “You know, pistachio wasn’t really my favourite flavour.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “Really? Then what was your favourite flavour?”

“Cookies and cream.” You mumble. “The only reason why pistachio became my favourite flavour was because you introduced it to me. Our classmates always made fun of you for it, calling you an old man for having horrible taste in ice cream, and it made you extremely upset. I forced myself to like the flavour just to make you feel better, so that you would be comfortable having pistachio ice cream with me.”

“Really?” He says softly.

You slowly nod your head. “Really.”

It grows silent. You’re both busy finishing your ice cream cones. Jaehyun can’t help but admire what you’ve done for him back in the day. On the other hand, you feel like you just made things more awkward than it already was.

Jaehyun looks up at the night sky. “Why do you think what happened to us, happened?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I’m not sure, Jaehyun.”

“Do you think things would have turned out differently if we were a bit more—”

You chuckle. “A bit more mature and not some two emotional teenagers going through puberty?”

He laughs. “Yeah.”

“Maybe,” you say after much thought. “Maybe we would’ve been friends still.”

“Are we not friends anymore?” He questions, with eyes filled with hope.

Jaehyun feels his heart crack when you shake your head. You’re giving him a sad smile, something he dreads seeing on your face. He wishes he could erase that image from his mind.

“We both changed in different ways that we don’t know each other like we used to.” You explain, avoiding eye contact. “I’m not the same Y/N you were best friends with ten years ago, Jaehyun. I’m sure it’s the same for you too.”

Ouch. 

“But do you think we still have another chance at being best friends again? Maybe not as best friends, but as friends?”

Your smile brightens when your eyes cheer up. “We might, that is, if you’re willing to give it a shot.”

He mirrors your smile. “I can definitely give it another shot, but only if you are going to do it too.”

“I don’t see why not.”

Turns out Mina is just as famous as he is. 

Him and Mina are often called the power couple. With the both of them being successful models living lavish lives, their relationship has become the goal of every other couple. They wish to be like them. 

“Where were you, babe?”

Sitting in front of the large LED TV, Mina flips through the channels with the remote control. She’s not sparing a single glance at him. He’s kicking off his shoes and making his way to the couch to join her. As he’s sitting next to her on the couch, he leans in to peck her cheek. She flashes him a small smile.

“I had a photoshoot with Johnny and Y/N today.” He answers.

Mina finally settles on a Spiderman movie. She tosses the remote control to the side and glances at him. 

“Y/N?” She questions. “Since when did you reconnect with Y/N?”

Jaehyun scratches the back of his neck. Right. Transparency. It’s what you need in a relationship. But why didn’t he even think about telling his girlfriend? It was like it slipped out of his mind. 

“I got in touch with her because Jungwoo told me that she’s getting married in a couple of weeks.” He explains, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I decided it would be best to clear the bad blood between us, so I asked if she wanted to work with me.”

Mina bites her lip. “She’s getting married?”

He nods his head. “In three weeks. We’re invited, by the way.”

Mina looks into his eyes and holds his hand that’s caressing her cheek. She leans closer to the warmth of his hand and sighs. “When do you think we’ll get married?”

His smile falters. She seems to take notice and a look of disappointment appears on her face. She lets go of his hand and shifts her gaze to the TV screen. 

“Do you want to get married?” He asks.

She scoffs. “I mean, we’ve been dating for ten years.”

“Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?” He whispers.

She lets out a tiring sigh. She grabs the remote control and turns off the TV. Her night is officially ruined and Jaehyun’s the exact reason why. “Here we go again with the same conversation. I’m tired of going in circles, Jaehyun.”

“Circles?”

She looks at him with broken eyes. “All of my friends are getting married. Whenever they ask me about when we’ll be tying the knot, I can’t even give them an answer because—because I don’t know! My parents are wondering when we’ll be getting married and I can’t even tell them when we’ll be getting married.”

“Mina—”

“Do you not see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?” She asks and it comes out barely above a whisper. “Jaehyun, it’s been ten years. I think ten years is more than enough to start settling down together.”

“I—”

She laughs and points at him. “Don’t even try to use your career as an excuse. That excuse is overused. Try thinking of another one, maybe I’ll believe it this time.”

“Mina, babe, I’d love to marry you, but—”

“But?” She chuckles bitterly. “But what? What’s holding you back? There’s nothing holding me back, Jaehyun. I can see that there’s something stopping you. Hell, it’s not even something. It might be someone.”

Jaehyun’s mouth clamps shut. He’s not sure what to say to her. His silence makes her wince and let out a low laugh of disbelief. She huffs out a breath and grabs her phone. 

“I’ll be spending the night at Suhyun’s. If you need me, just give me a call or something.”

His girlfriend leaves him in the comfort of his silence. But his silence is far from comforting. It’s a haunting silence. There’s something stopping Jaehyun from proposing to Mina. There’s something stopping him from settling down with his girlfriend of ten years.

But the thought of that something being someone is a thought that terrifies him.

It’s much more terrifying when that someone could be you.

When Jaehyun gives you your first paycheck for your first photoshoot with him, you decide to invest it in the wedding bouquets. Coincidentally, your day off matched with Jaehyun’s day off, thus, resulting in him accompanying you to the flower shop. Unfortunately, your fiance has a huge project meeting and isn’t able to join you. 

As you step into the flower shop, you’re greeted by a quirky florist. She’s wearing a vibrant pink apron that matches her more muted yellow headband. You’re scanning the flower shop, your eyes settling for the carnations and peonies, even the baby’s breath and roses. 

“What can I do to help the lovely couple?” The florist asks as she approaches you.

You and Jaehyun glance at each other. You’re taken aback. You shake your head. “Sorry, we’re not—we’re not dating. He’s just a friend of mine.”

The florist gasps. “Oh! I’m so sorry!”

You wave it off. “No worries. I was just wondering whether you could help me out with last-minute wedding bouquets for my wedding?”

“When’s your wedding?”

“In three weeks.” You reply. “September twenty-seventh.”

“We can definitely look around and see what you like.” The florist insists. “We can then make a decision once you’ve picked your favourites.”

You smile. “Sounds great.”

Jaehyun can’t help but think about how beautiful your smile is. You must love your fiance so much that it makes you extremely happy. Somehow, he wishes he could make you smile like that. It makes his heart ache in ways he didn’t even know it would.

“I’ve always wanted to have peony bouquets.” You mention it to the florist. 

She nods her head vigorously. “We could definitely work with peonies! In case we need fillers, I was wondering if you would be open to have baby’s breath to fill in the gaps of the bouquet.”

“I think that would look lovely.” You chuckle.

“What colour would you want the peonies to be?”

You scan the variety of colours. “Well, my bridesmaids will be wearing dusty blue dresses.” 

The florist hums. “I think white peonies would be the right choice. It’ll compliment the dusty blue, along with your wedding dress.”

You nod in agreement. “I think so too.”

“I’ll start picking out some flowers to arrange them into bouquets for you to choose from.” The florist insists. “I hope you don’t mind.”

You smile. “I don’t mind at all. Work your magic!”

The florist comes up with three different bouquets to choose from. You and Jaehyun are analyzing them carefully. You can’t help but look at the bouquet on the far left. It’s a bouquet filled with white peonies along with some hints of baby’s breath. The bouquet is wrapped with a dusty blue ribbon, complimenting the dusty blue colour scheme you have for your bridesmaids.

“I really like this one,” you point to it. 

“I think so too.” The florist giggles. “I can’t help but imagine how lucky your fiance is, ma’am. You’re glowing! You look so in love.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “Do I really?”

She nods. “You do! I’m sure your friend here can see it too.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows raise as the attention is suddenly shifted towards him. You look up at him as if you’re waiting for him to agree. He’s looking back at you, particularly into your eyes that are sparkling with stars and galaxies. 

“Yeah,” Jaehyun mumbles. “I can see it.”

Your smile widens at Jaehyun’s approval. You reach out for the bouquet that you’ve chosen to look closely at the details. Jaehyun still has his eyes on you.

The florist notices Jaehyun’s intense gaze pointed at you and it creates an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. It’s almost as if she’s looking at a best friend who’s so deeply in love with the other, but is caught at a crossroads; to either tell you that he’s in love with you or to let you get married to someone else.

Two weeks left until your wedding.

You find yourself back at the bridal shop to do last-minute tailoring on your wedding dress. While your mother couldn’t accompany you to the final fitting, she was persistent on not allowing your fiance to see you in your dress. She believed in such superstitions. It was quite funny. 

You think Jaehyun truly wants to get back to being best friends with you again. He’s been doing nothing but help. He helped you when you didn’t ask for it. And here he is, joining you with the final fitting.

You’re standing in front of the mirror, looking at your reflection. The tailor is busy zipping up your dress at the back. The dress fits like a glove, but of course, there are some last-minute changes such as making sure the sequins are placed securely on the bodice of the dress. Once you feel the dress is zipped up, the tailor walks around you in a circle to analyze the dress.

“I think we can adjust the front a bit more.” The tailor suggests and you nod in agreement.

Your wedding dress is an off-shoulder dress. It has see-through sleeves, decorating your arms with subtle flowers and lace. The dress is long enough that it hits the floor. It feels lightweight and effortless. 

“Alright. I think we’re good with the dress. Are there any other changes you want to make?” The tailor asks as she pops in the last pin. 

You shake your head. “I think it’s perfect.”

The tailor smiles. “Shall we show you in your dress to your friend? Maybe he can give in a second opinion. Second opinions are great.”

You nod. “I don’t see why not.”

Jaehyun’s looking at all the dresses in the shop. He’s trying to imagine Mina in each wedding dress that he likes. His argument with Mina never seems to leave his head. Can he imagine seeing Mina walking down the aisle? Does he see himself starting a family with Mina? The doubt alone is enough to make him feel unsettled. A ten year relationship is a relationship headed towards marriage. But why does he feel hesitant? Why does he feel like he’s being held back?

“Mr. Jeong,” the tailor snaps him out of his thoughts. He looks up. “Y/N wants your opinion on the dress. Do you mind checking with her?”

He nods his head. “Sure.”

The tailor opens the curtains of the fitting room and Jaehyun feels the air being knocked out of his lungs. You haven’t looked at him yet because you’re trying to turn around to face him without tripping over your dress. When you’re finally facing him, you look up at him and his mouth slowly parts open in shock. 

You look beautiful.

You look—

“What do you think, Jaehyun?” You ask.

He’s blinking once, twice, until he blurts out. “I think you look perfect.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “Really?”

“Really.” He laughs breathlessly. “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

You giggle. “Thanks. I guess we don’t need to make any more changes to the dress.”

Jaehyun feels dizzy. You look so beautiful that it hurts. Surprisingly, his troubled thoughts over his relationship with Mina fade away in an instant. You had an effect on him. You surely do.

“Thank you for the ride, Jaehyun.”

Your house is nothing compared to his. It’s not even a house. It’s an apartment. Jaehyun looks out the window and points at the building. “This is where you live?”

You nod. “My fiance and I share an apartment together. But we’re in the process of moving out. After our wedding, we’ll be moving into a small, cozy house.”

“That’s crazy.” He says. “I can’t believe we’re getting old.”

You laugh. “It is crazy. Anyways, I should head inside before my fiance scolds me for letting the food get cold.”

“You probably should do that,” Jaehyun mumbles. “We wouldn’t want an angry fiance, now would we?”

The both of you share a laugh together. You’re both saying goodbyes and as you’re hopping out of the car, Jaehyun sees a figure standing at the lobby of the apartment building. Jaehyun rolls down the window of his car when you gently tap on it. 

“Before you leave, I wanted to ask if you wanted to join us for dinner.” You ask. “I could even introduce you to my fiance, even though you already know him. I guess it’ll sort of be like a mini reunion.”

Jaehyun knows him? He knows your fiance? How? Why? Jaehyun could see the figure walk closer to the both of you. 

He shakes his head. “Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to bother—”

You frown. “Are you sure—”

“Is that Jeong Jaehyun?” 

You look over your shoulder to see your fiance. Jaehyun swears he feels his heart sink. It’s a familiar voice. It’s a familiar face. His smile vanishes from his face. Everything is slowly turning into a nightmare and he wishes he could wake up.

“Cha Eunwoo?”

The dinner table is covered with a variety of side dishes, the main course, and a nice bottle of red wine. The three of you gather around the table, with you and Eunwoo sitting next to each other and Jaehyun sitting right across from you. Jaehyun can’t help but look at Eunwoo.

Eunwoo surely matured. He’s gained more muscle in his arms. He’s still the same good-looking man. 

“I knew I was seeing things right.” Eunwoo chuckles. “Jeong Jaehyun, long time no see.”

You giggle. “Shall we toast to that?”

It’s almost like Jaehyun forgot how to laugh. He fakes a laugh and Eunwoo’s standing up to pop the wine bottle open. He’s pouring each of you a glass of wine. “Let’s toast to this mini reunion!”

“Cheers to that.” You grin as the three of you clink glasses.

Jaehyun’s still in a state of disbelief. The man you’re getting married to is the man his girlfriend used to be in a relationship with. If Eunwoo was the man that Jaehyun dreaded and hated with his whole chest, how much more hatred could he have for him after finding out that he’s the man you’ll be marrying? 

But that’s not what Jaehyun’s bothered by.

Jaehyun’s bothered by the fact that he feels much more affected and heartbroken knowing that Eunwoo’s getting married to you, and not the fact that Eunwoo and Mina somehow didn’t end up together. 

Eunwoo and Mina dating in high school and being the reason why she rejected him was heartbreaking but tolerable.

But Eunwoo being your fiance? But Eunwoo getting married to you? It’s so much more compared to Eunwoo and Mina. 

Why is it bothering him so much? Why does your engagement ring bother him much more after knowing that Eunwoo has the same exact one? 

“You didn’t tell me that Y/N was getting married to Eunwoo. Cha Eunwoo.”

Jungwoo snorts. The both of them are grilling beef in the same private room in the same restaurant where Jaehyun found out about your wedding. But this time around, Jaehyun knows much more. He knows that him and Mina are going through a rough patch in their relationship because of marriage. He knows that you’re getting married to Eunwoo, the man he used to hate because he dated Mina back in high school. 

He also knows that you’re getting married in a couple of days.

“I told you, Jaehyun.” Jungwoo reminds him. “You were just too shit-faced drunk when I told you. That’s probably why you forgot.”

“You told me?” Jaehyun runs his fingers through his hair. 

“And what about it?” Jungwoo pours himself a shot glass of soju before downing it in one go. “Well, from the looks of it, I’m sure you’re pissed—”

“I am. Is it obvious?”

“To me.” Jungwoo shrugs his shoulders. “But probably not to Y/N or Eunwoo.”

“I don’t know why I feel this way,” Jaehyun sighs. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I should be happy that Y/N’s getting married to him. She deserves him. I just—and Mina and I are having a rough time right now. She hasn’t come back to the house in a week. She’s been staying at Suhyun’s and—”

“You know,” Jungwoo begins. “Mina always told me that something’s holding you back from settling down with her. I used to think she was joking because I knew that eventually, you would settle down with her. But from what’s happening now, I’m not sure what to believe anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it really does look like something’s holding you back.” Jungwoo mumbles. “Or should I say, someone.”

“Stop making jokes.” Jaehyun downs a shot of soju. “Nothing’s holding me back—”

“Ever since you reunited with Y/N, she’s all you’ve been talking about. You’ve been spending most of your time with her recently, instead of your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is slowly starting to think someone is stopping you from marrying her.” Jungwoo explains all of the valid reasons. “The cherry on top is finding out that Cha Eunwoo is the one Y/N will be marrying.”

“If you’re trying to tell me that I’m in love with Y/N, I’m not—”

“I didn’t say anything about you being in love with Y/N,” Jungwoo cuts him off. “But since you think I’m trying to tell you that, it tells me that you’re conflicted. You’re conflicted with your feelings.”

“I’m not—”

“You are.” Jungwoo folds his arms. “It’s all crystal clear to me now. The reason why you can’t get married to Mina is because there’s someone holding you back. You’re not even aware of it yourself.”

“And you think that someone is—”

“Y/N?” Jungwoo finishes it off for him. “Yes. One hundred percent. Y/N is that person. You can’t accept the fact that she’s getting married to the man who once stole Mina from you. You can’t accept the fact that not only did the same man date your girlfriend, but is also getting married to your best friend.”

“God, you didn’t have to be so upfront about it.”

“Did I really have a choice?” Jungwoo smirks.

“No, not really—”

Jungwoo sighs. “Well, have you realized it yet?”

“Realized what?”

“That you’re in love with Y/N.” Jungwoo answers. 

“I’m not in love with Y/N—”

“You are.” Jungwoo presses. “If you weren’t in love with Y/N, you wouldn’t be having dinner with me tonight. You wouldn’t be following Y/N around like a lost puppy. And you would most definitely be getting married to Mina.”

Jaehyun places his face into his hands. 

“God, I am in love with Y/N.”

“So, what are you going to do about it now?” Jungwoo chuckles lightheartedly. He cracks a joke. “Are you going to crash her wedding?”

“You are not crashing her wedding.”

“I am.”

“You’re not, and I’ll make sure of it!”

Jaehyun and Jungwoo continue with their endless back-and-forth bicker as they head to the wedding venue. Your wedding is going to start in two hours but Jaehyun was insistent on getting to the venue earlier in hopes of stopping your wedding just in time. Jungwoo, however, has different plans. Jungwoo wants this wedding to happen because you deserve happiness, not a huge mess of a man named Jeong Jaehyun who—

“We’re here. Unbuckle your seatbelts, the show’s about to start.”

Jungwoo’s terrified.

“Let’s get it, boys.”

“I think I’d rather hide behind a huge flower pot instead, thank you very much.” Jungwoo mumbles as Jaehyun locks his car with his keys. 

Jaehyun’s sure of one thing, he’s in love with you. You’re the reason why he’s feeling this way. You’re the reason why he can’t settle down with his girlfriend. You’re the reason why he’s been smiling a lot more lately. You’re the reason why he can’t seem to imagine seeing anyone else walking down the aisle but you. 

And man, is he selfish. 

“Where’s the bride?” He asks one of the wedding planners.

The wedding planner raises an eyebrow. “And you are?”

“Jeong Jaehyun,” he says softly. “I’m a best friend of Y/N. I want to give her my blessings and wishes, personally.”

“She’s in that room.”

Jaehyun follows the direction of her finger. The door to the room is shut. He sucks in a breath and exhales deeply. Here goes nothing. He knocks on the door and it takes a couple of seconds for the door to open. A woman, who you assume to be one of your friends, opens the door and pokes her head out.

“Hi, can I help you?” She questions.

“Can I have a word with Y/N?” Jaehyun asks.

“Is that Jaehyun?” He hears you ask from inside of the room. “If it is, let him in!”

The woman steps aside for Jaehyun to enter the room. He sees you sitting on one of the chairs in your wedding dress. He finds himself looking at you in awe. It’s like he’s seeing you in your dress for the first time. Your hair is styled up into a low-bun with some strands of your hair framing your face. You’ve ditched the glasses and replaced them with contact lenses. He always thought your eyes looked beautiful, and they truly are. 

“Hey, you.” You smile.

He feels himself grow shy. “Hey. Uh, can I talk to you?”

You look at him questioningly. “Sure.”

“Alone?”

You feel uneasy. You glance at your friend, Joy. She nods her head and silently excuses herself out of the room, closing the door behind her. Once you’re both left alone in the room, you clear your throat. “What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“I—I just thought that it was best to get this off my chest—”

“Get what off your chest?” You ask. “Jaehyun, you’re making me nervous—”

“I’m in love with you.”

Jaehyun feels a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders. 

You gulp nervously. “What—What did you just say?”

“I know this is all so sudden and we literally just got back to being friends but this has been bothering me for the longest time. I couldn’t think straight and then I found out that you’re getting married to Eunwoo—”

“And so, you’re just going to turn up to my wedding and tell me that you’re in love with me?” You scoff. “Why are you telling me this now? Of all days, why my wedding day?”

“I know it might seem like I’m selfish, but—”

“Because you are.” You cut him off. “Jaehyun, remember how I told you that we’ve both changed in ways that we don’t know each other like we used to.”

“But I’m still the same, Y/N. I’m still the same Jaehyun you knew.”

You let out a sigh. “I’ve always been in love with you, Jaehyun. You were someone special to me. But we can’t turn back time. We’ve changed. I’ve changed. I’ve moved on and so did you. I fell in love with Eunwoo and you fell in love with Mina—”

“You were in love with me?” He whispers.

His eyes are gradually filling up with tears. You purse your lips into a tight line. You can’t find the courage to look at him in the eye because you know it’ll make you feel some sort of way. It will bring back feelings you’ve forced yourself to stop feeling.

You nod. “I was.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, wiping away the tears that managed to slip down his cheeks. “Well fuck, now I can’t really stop you from getting married, huh?”

“You were just a little too late, Jaehyun.” You frown. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” He shakes his head. “You don’t need to apologize. You deserve to be happy. I think it was just the spur of the moment that’s making me this way.”

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun. I really am.”

“I just want you to be happy, alright? For me.” He smiles through the pain.

“Jaehyun…” You trail off.

“Don’t worry about me.” He reassures you, even though he looks like he’s not having the best time in his life. He glances down at his watch. “You should probably get ready. Your wedding’s about to start. I should probably get going.”

As Jaehyun’s about to leave you, you softly call out his name. He stops at the door with his hand wrapped around the doorknob. As he’s looking over his shoulder, his heart shatters.

“I just wanted to thank you for being there for me for the past month,” you beam. “I’m grateful that you reached out to me. You’re a true best friend.”

He smiles. “Thank you for giving our friendship a second chance.”

Jungwoo sees Jaehyun stepping out of the room. With the defeated look on Jaehyun’s face, Jungwoo knows things didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to be. “So, it didn’t work out?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t think it did.” Jungwoo frowns. “Man, you took the biggest L. I even brought a party popper to celebrate if things did work out.”

Jaehyun stops in his tracks and Jungwoo almost bumps into him. He turns around and raises an eyebrow at his friend. “Really? A party popper?”

“I honestly thought things would turn out well. I thought you would get the biggest W. I was prepared. But it’s sort of sad that it didn’t.” Jungwoo sighs sadly. “What am I going to do with this party popper now? Pop it?”

Jungwoo’s pulling out the party popper from the inner pocket of his suit. Jaehyun can’t help but snort at his friend’s dorkiness. Jungwoo looks at him questioningly but Jaehyun shakes his head. 

“How do I work this thing—”

“Maybe this is a sign that I should marry Mina—”

Pop! The both of the flinch at the sound. The confetti falls down in the air, with some of it landing on Jaehyun’s hair. He stares at one of the confetti that is slow to fall down, it’s almost like it’s floating in the air. 

“This feels familiar.” He says softly.

“What feels familiar?”

Jaehyun ignores Jungwoo and closes his eyes. 

He wishes things would go back to how they used to be. He wishes to be back in the parking lot of his senior year homecoming venue. He wishes to turn back time. He wishes to return to the night of senior year homecoming, where he was counting down the minutes left until his birthday. 

Maybe things would turn out right this time.

“Jaehyun! Are you even listening to me?”

Jaehyun’s eyes flutter open at the sound of your voice. When his eyes open, the first thing he sees is you. You’re sitting right across from him. He huffs out a breath when he notices that you’re wearing glasses and your face has changed. You look much younger, almost like how you looked when you were in high school. Wait—

“Jaehyun.” You repeat yourself. 

He blinks. “What?”

“Were you even listening to me?” You ask him again. 

“S-Sorry, what were you saying?” He stutters.

You chuckle, shaking your head at how adorable your best friend is. Jaehyun looks down to see that you’re both sitting on a checkered picnic blanket. You’re both sitting underneath a tree, having a small picnic together. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Wait, before you repeat yourself.” Jaehyun begins. “What’s the date today?”

You give him a funny look. “Are you joking? It’s your birthday.”

“It is?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “Are you alright? Are you still hungover from all those after-homecoming party drinks we had?”

“Homecoming was last night?” He scratches the back of his head.

“Yes. Homecoming was last night and you were about to confess your feelings to Mina but you found out that Eunwoo’s her boyfriend. You got shit-faced drunk because you were heartbroken and—oh, that’s probably why you’re still hungover… you had a lot of drinks last night.” You explain.

He sighs with relief. “Oh, thank God. Thank God, Mina rejected me.”

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Do you have a fever? What’s wrong—”

Jaehyun grabs your cheeks and pulls you in for a kiss. You stiffen out of surprise and shock until you find yourself melting into the kiss when he pulls you closer. There are butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Jaehyun’s heart is thumping out of his chest and he’s more than sure that you can hear it. 

When you both pull away, he shyly looks away from you.

“Did you just kiss me?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?” You whisper. “Is there something wrong with you? Are you sure you’re not sick or something?”

“Maybe I kissed you because I’m in love with you.”

He’s… in love with you? It was just last night that Jaehyun got his heart broken after finding out that Mina’s dating Eunwoo. It was just last night where you got your heart broken when Jaehyun told you about his plans on confessing to Mina. Since when did Jaehyun fall in love with—

“Me?” You blurt out. “You’re in love with me?”

“I feel shy—”

“Shut up, say it again.” You grab a couple of grapes from your lunch container to chuck at him. He covers his face too late. “You’re in love with me?”

“Yes. I am.”

You don’t need to tell Jaehyun that you’re in love with him. He knows. He knows by the way your smile slowly appears across your lips. He knows by the way you look at him.

You’ve always been in love with him.

That’s all that matters.

“Good, because I’m in love with you too.” You bite back a smile. “I’ve always been.”

“I know.”

“It’s not the time to be cocky, Jaehyun.”

author’s note. and now i will take my three-week break to study for midterms LMAO but don’t worry! i will still be active just to reply to messages and asks so i won’t be gone for long. i hope you liked this short fic! and thank you so much for reading!

[tryingmydarndest]

Thank You (Luka Couffaine x Reader)

Summary (Part 1/probably 3): The author goes on a bit of a tangent about how Y/N goes on a bit of a tangent about Viperion. Who may just have a little, big ol' crush on them?

Tags: -not enough actual relationship -fluff -but like, a weird sprinkling of angst that I didn't plan on right at the end???

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Inspired by this fic by @seriously-sirius-black <3. Luka? OOC? Idk, probably, I don’t write fanfic. But I am actually kinda proud of how well Alya turned out. Writing this made me realize how much of a mom friend I apparently headcanon her as. I wrote this gender-and-as-everything-else-neutral as I can make it (lemme know if you see ways I can improve, tho idk how much more fanfic I'll even be writing). Also, I freakin' RAMBLE and overuse italics, but ya get what ya get and ya don't gotta fret. Ooh, important note for future parts (if i write them) - this is a kinda!au where the miraculous users keep their miraculous. also if I had a nickel for every time I get awkwardly specific about the placement of both of a character’s hands I’d have TWO nickels. Happy reading!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Part I - Paris's Cutiest Heroes

The look currently on Marinette’s face as she sputtered out a response was priceless, “Cat Noir? Cat Noir!? What makes you think I’d find Cat Noir attractive at all? And- and- HIM- the cutest superhero! Ridiculous!”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“Nice one, Alya”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” you gave Alya a high five on your way to your seat next to Juleka and Rose on the couch facing Marinette and Alya. A sunny Friday after school was the perfect place for Kitty Section and their entourage to hang out. Unfortunately without Ivan and Mylène, seeing as their anniversary called for a private celebration. After pushing a couple couches onto the deck of The Liberty, Alya had predictably started talking about Paris's resident hero team. Today, she chose to ask everyone who they deemed the cutest, and she made sure to jump on Marinette's... interesting response, “And girl, he has the same silky golden hair and dreamy emerald eyes as Adrien Agreste. What’s utterly ridiculous is you freaking out and dodging every time we bring up superheroes!”

The designated snack-boy, Luka, walked out precariously carrying three bowls of goodies for everyone, “Alright, I got more popcorn. Sorry, but looks like we’re out of cheese flavoring, Y/N”

“Oh... that’s fine. I honestly wasn’t expecting it since I forgot to ask,” your free hand not reaching for the bowl rubbed the back of your neck, “but thanks for remembering.”

“Oh, um yeah- Always," is it creepy to remember something so specific? Someone as nice as Y/N wouldn't be interested in some creep. Ugh. Luka took a seat with his own bowl after passing Alya and Marinette theirs. He ended up next to you on the floor, leaning against the arm of the couch, dangerously close to touching your legs.

Rose reached for the popcorn as she interjected, “You know, Alya does have a point. So Marinette, why don’t you just tell us who you think the cutest superhero is, if you don’t like us guessing?”

Somehow Marinette’s face went even paler as she spoke, “What- I mean, I don’t- I haven’t thought- Wha- what about Y/N? Why aren’t you interrogating them?”

Alya crossed her arms, “Because Y/N says the same thing about the same hero every day. Just watch. Ahem, Y/N, care to weigh in on the cuteness level of our lovely Parisian superheroes?”

You looked up from the bowl you had stolen back from Rose with wide eyes, "Hey! Okay, no, that is not fair! Besides, what is our criteria for 'cute'? I mean... Are we going just by physical characteristics? Is costume a factor? What about the animal they're representing, could our opinion of that make this whole thing unfair? And cuteness is so subjective anyway... Why are we even reducing these amazing and honorable superheroes to just their looks? I mean we could be talking about skill, or their powers or power lev-"

"-And your answer would be exactly the same. Seriously, are you done trying- and might I add, failing- to talk yourself out of this one yet? Or should I just read the article you wrote for the Ladyblog?"

"You said you deleted that!"

Luka had perked his head up at your initial fumbling response and turned to you when he spoke, "You wrote an article? That's pretty cool."

You rubbed your face to try and distract yourself from the burning embarrassment, "Umm, yeah. But it was terrible and extremely not. worth. publishing." You hoped the glare you sent the girl in question was enough to scare her into deleting it on the spot, or to at least lie about it, "So Alya kindly deleted it, right?"

Sitting up with a smug look and crossed arms severely lowered your faith that she'd keep quiet. "A good journalist archives everything. Especially something as juicy as one of her besties going on for five thousand words about how dreamy the great Viperion is," dramatically fake-fainting into Marinette's lap, Alya could barely finish before bursting out in laughter. Of course, quickly followed by the others joining in to varying degrees. Juleka and Rose happily giggled to themselves, Marinette looked more relieved that the heat was off her, and Luka seemed to be shocked, or maybe just holding back to see how you were taking this.

Horribly. Horribly embarrassed would describe how you were taking this conversation. You sat there stock-still as you hoped that none of the others could hear your heart's desperate attempts to pound its way out of your chest. That's certainly all you could hear, at least until Alya's voice brought you out of it, "Hey, it's fine," she made her way over to sit next to you as she continued, "We all have our little hero crushes. That's why I bring it up all the time, to show you that it's totally normal! I mean, we all know how I could go on about Carapace for days," Alya gestured for the others to continue, and used her other hand to try and comfort you.

"Well, I find Ladybug to be just absolutely adorable and so kind.... oh it just makes me so happy knowing she's keeping all of Paris safe," Rose added softly.

Juleka brushed a strand of hair aside as she spoke, "Rena Rouge is super mysterious, pretty rad in my opinion."

Alya was rubbing your back like the mom friend she is to try and help encourage you, "See? Super normal, so go ahead and release all this pent up Viperion energy that I know you have. Maybe it'll encourage Marinette here to finally join in the fun!" Alya stuck her tongue out at her best friend, who responded promptly by smashing her face into a pillow.

You just sighed, "I mean- it’s- it can't just-'' were you supposed to just get over it all just like that? Well, at least the embarrassment was wearing off, maybe you could just entertain her for a bit, "Well- um, you see.... HisHairJustLooksReallySoftAnd- you know what. Nope. Can't do anymore of this. Yep- that's all you're getting out of me!" This time when everyone started giggling, you were able to comfortably join them. It was a nice feeling.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A nice evening chilling out with your friends was always welcome, especially with the rising number of akumatizations making that less possible. But the night had come to a close. Alya and Marinette went home, Juleka was walking Rose back herself, and Luka and you had volunteered to clean up. Luka stopped drying the cup in his hand for a minute as he looked at you, “Um, I know it might not be my place, but I want you to know that you don’t have to be embarrassed about the whole... Viperion thing.” God, how am I supposed to take the news that MY crush has a crush on.... Sort of me? Am I supposed to count it as me at all?

“Oh, um. Yeah, thanks. I think I’m over the embarrassment now that it’s out. I don’t know, it’s just that a lot of people think it’s weird since he’s kind of a new hero,” how are you supposed to explain this to him? That you kept such a non-issue secret from him, especially without getting suspiciously defensive about it. “And then people use that to try and say that I only like him for his looks..... And that’s not it! I don’t know, it’s kind of.... A lot? To explain, that is.” This was not going well.

“Oh... Well, what is it? That you like about him, I guess.”

This was so not going well. But he was waiting for a response so... “Uh, well I guess it did kinda start..... that way.... but then I started doing research. I learned about his power and saw videos of his fights. He’s really good! Especially for being so new, which kinda goes into why his power makes me like him so much.” Shit. Rambling, I’m just talking and talking and I need to stop. But how am I supposed to change the subject now? And now Luka’s sitting down, and he seems so invested. Why does this have to happen to me?

“What do you mean by that?”

Luka’s voice kindly shuts your little thought-spiral in its tracks. What were you saying? Oh, Viperion’s powers! You can talk about this, you know this. Just keep talking, at least he seems interested in it, “Well, you know how he can go back and redo the last couple of minutes?” Luka nodded, “Well, we always see the time that worked out. Us civilians get to keep going from the one time it all went right. Just imagine all the times he failed, all the times he couldn’t get it right. It could be dozens, maybe even hundreds of times! He must get so discouraged at some point, I mean I know I would.... I guess I didn’t really think about it at first, but.... but, I doubt I could keep that determination, and I’m so glad Paris has a hero who can, and does.”

Silence. Why was it so quiet? Oh no, he thinks I’m weird. He must think-

“All of this from ‘his hair looks soft’?”

“Hey! You can’t tell me not to be embarrassed, then make fun of me! That’s against the rules!”

Luka chuckled as he said, “Against what rules, exactly?”

“The Rules Of Best Friendship, duh!”

“And who exactly said you were my best friend?”

“Well... your loss, I guess. Now you won’t get an invitation when I plan Rose and Juleka’s wedding,” you brushed off his offended glare as you took the seat next to him.

“She’s my sister.”

“She’d take my side.”

I’d take your side, too. I will always take your side. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

A/N the sequel: I am super bad at finishing things, but I really wanna keep motivated to finish this (like I have a full, probably 3 part, plan for this). If you guys want to help, shoot me a message and I'll send you a link to the google doc I'm writing this on. Feel free to leave a little comment (pls be kind, obviously) and see my writing process! Idk, would any of you guys be interested in that? Would you just get annoyed at having already read the thing before I post it?

[melissa-s23]

Private lesson

Sumarry: Janus try to decieve himself into a timeline where he can save his friends. He does not expect reality to offer him an opportunity to prove himself.

Word count: 3127

Characters: Janus Sanders, King creativity Sanders

Warnings: Sword fighting?? Idk please tell me if you think something else should be added here.

Author’s note: MY FIRST ONESHOT EVER COMPLETED! Yes! And the honor goes to @rondoel ‘s King!AU! ( @kingcreativityau ) :D Now: are the characters OOC in this? Most probably. Do I really care about it? Only a tiny bit. I only started to post Sanders Sides content here recently, but I’ve been a fan of the series for a few months now so I had time to read a lot of fic... however I’m still not sure on what I got wrong so if you have any criticism, positive or negative, please let me know! Lastly, this was at first supposed to be an animatic (on the song called ‘This is war’) but I have NO TIME to draw and lot of time to write so enjoy! When I do get time, I might try to animate a certain part of it that I don’t think I nailed that well in the fic. Anyway, I’ve been rambling for long enough. ENJOY!!!

-----------------------------------

Janus stood there, in the empty training room. Since King's return, he felt very conflicted, and he hated himself for it.

The king was merciless, he cursed Patton to make him look like a toddler, he removed Logan's vocal cords, he cursed Virgil into torturing himself into deadly downward spirals, and...

And he was very spiteful, he was angry... because he'd betrayed him.

Janus clenged his fist. He couldn't help but remember the look of betray and rage that his King gave him when he discovered his team-up with Logan. Those orange eyes that could burn him down on the spot. Those oh so intense eyes... Damn it, he was back at it again. This is over now. His king was gone. Now it was the King. The tyrant. The side who hurt his friends.

He was standing in the empty room, looking at his reflection by the mural mirror. His now half-half face looked so tired. Was he really this tired ? He was probably very very tired... but he'll rest later, as the memory of his most recent wound was still fresh in his head, replaying this utter humiliation, he just couldn’t sleep. Anger soon filled him up.

He could have tried to stop him. He could have tried to save his friends, and instead he just... froze. He just let it happen like he couldn't do anything. And he knew how to fight ! He knew how to defent himself for crying out loud ! He could've done something, and instead... Nothing ! He recalled the scene, bit by bit. How Logan stood at his left, how virgil was just behind, how the king was looming over them, despite being 10 feet away from them. He remembered every movement, every word, and every second of that moment like it was written in his metaphysical blood.

And in a second, it was like he was dragged back to this hell again.

And he would not let it happen a second time.

He summoned his cane and raised it up at the memory of King. His mind wandered off now. He had to imagine how he would've react. Would he summon his sword or take full creative control to just trap him ? He wanted to think he had a chance, so he chose the sword scenario.

And just like that, the imaginary fight was on. Step forward. Left. Right. Dodge. Go protect them. Put up a fight. He would have rushed toward the tyrant and aimed for the head, the sword would've get in the way and he could uses the top of his cane to project himself back to the group. Go. Dodge. Pare. Block and Dodge and Move fast and Dodge again and Block and pare and send it back. The world was spinning around him and the fight got more and more intense. He may have his eyes closed, but he knew perfectly where he was in the room, and he was completely in his daydream. Left and Right and Block again and Forward and Left and Block and backward and spin and swing the cane for it to stop only an inch away from the face of his enemy. He would have been a threat, and he would have been able to save his friends from the King.

He didn't expect, however, to be met with the actual King in front of him when he opened his eyes.

Janus' eyes widened and he immediately cursed himself for backing up. Great. He was all about putting up a fight and a second later, he was cowering. ‘Talk about blowing smokes.’ He at the very least kept his glare from fading away. He couldn't be scared of him. He couldn't show it. He was simply surprised... He had to make that a challenge for him, Deceit was not a side you could see right through, after all.

« You seem to have a quite... Interesting dancing style » King spoke, an almost mocking grin showing as he looked down at Janus. Crap. Did he knew ? Was he there the whole time ?

As the tyrant lift his hand, Janus snaps back into reality, setting his guard up and putting a stronger grasp on his cane. Only for the object to sudenly float in the air, shining with bright light and transforms into a sword that Janus grabbed back before it falls on the floor. This left only more confusion in the half-snake, confusion which turns into alert when he lifts his gaze back at the King only to be met with another blade. He jumps back.

« W... What ? » Janus was lost.

« Wouldn't you try and learn an acutal fighting technique ... » King's voice was composed, but also slightly amused at Deceit's confusion.

«... instead of the poor travesty I just witnessed ? » until it all vanished in favor of annoyance.

Janus tried to process the words as King switched his position for a dueling one. His sword in front of him, his torso on the side and his feet dug on the ground. Was he.... what ? What was happening ?? One thing sure was that he invited Janus to mirror his behaviour. And so he did, taking a deep breath, and standing still while carrying his sword to cross the others. And before he figured out what to do next, King took three blows and sent Janus' sword flying through the air and crashing on the ground.

« Whoa wHoa WHOA ! Hold on ! » Janus lifted his hands in defense and gulped as the blade of his enemy got dangerously close to his throat.

He then heard a chuckle, and the blade finally got away from his neck. « It was just too tempting. » He snapped his finger and the sword flew right back to Janus' hand, who was still confused.

« Alright, for real this time, I let you give the first blow. »

Janus hesitated, still not sure if the scene before him was really happening, but quickly composed himself. He came back to mirroring King's posture and came with a serious expression. He quickly analysed how he could start and how he could win the fastest. When he assumed to find a way to win quickly, he lifts his sword up and went for it.

Boy, was his assumption wrong.

He thought he'd move faster, but the moment the sword swingged on the left, King's weapon caught him off guard, and it only took two quick slays for Janus' to fly in the air again. He felt baffled and humiliated. And the amused smile from his opponent didn't boost his ego at the moment.

« How ? » He didn't understand. Even his instincts weren't nearly as fast as the King, and the tyrant didn't get the chance to train in years !

He only got an arrogant giggle in response before the sword flew back to Deceit's hand. Janus frowned deeper and dug his feet in the ground, ready to jump. King did not miss, nor cared for deceit's threat.

« Again. » He simply ordered. He only had to move his arm to be back to his initial position. Was there a point to it ? Or did his tyrant just liked to put him through this childish show of superiority ?

For some reason, Janus obeyed.

And lost.

Again.

« Try again. » the King ordered.

The other obliged.

After the 4th time the sword flew back into the yellow side, he had to face it : This was happening. King was training him to sword fight. And he just... accepted it ??? What ?? How was this happening ? Usually, he would try to bite back, make some remark, try to hurt him, but here he just... went along with it. And King seemed pleased with that. He looked...content. He looked satisfied with giving Janus private lesson. This moment...  against all odds... felt... not as bad as he expected.

The more they fought, the less cold the tyrant was, and the less tense they both get. King stopped trying to bring him to his knees and instead looked like he a professor, excited to give his student something to work on.

Of course, he would never admit it, but in this instant, in this moment of intimacy and challenge devoted from any animosity... It was calming, it was like a fresh wind coming after a heat wave of chaos, and the adrenaline that came from the fight was giving him enough energy to savour every second of it.

Wait.

No.

No no no no no.

He wasn't enjoying it. He wasn't enjoying it at all. He could not appreciate what was happening : the sadistic bastard was bellitling him and humiliating him right now ! And worst part is ? He couldn't even do anything about it ! Because King is so freacking good at sword fighting and Janus' main weapon has been turnd into a sword for crying out loud. There was no time to lust over past relationship !

And another game lost.

« I told you to pay attention to what was happening high up. Looking at my chest is not going to do much if you want to predict where or when I'm going to hit next. I thought you'd know that. »

« I was simply lost in another train of thought, I hope you could forg- »

DON'T.

FINISH

THIS WORD.

'You be submissive, god dammnit.' He thought to himself before clearing his throat and returning to his cunning voice. He had to keep his distance.

« I don't need you to tell me that. I was simply lost in thought. Do you really I am this much of an idiot ? »

« Well, you didn't prove me otherwise yet so. » He chuckled low and got ready for yet another one. « En garde. »

Even though he couldn't hide the joy he was feeling at the moment, he could mask it behind his usual calm appearance.

« And how many times are we going to do this ? » He asked, his tone playing between teasing and bored

«Until you get some actual fighting skills. » King answered, playing along.

« Ouch. I think I prefer the wounds caused by your sword. »

« Well then hurry up and grab your weapon. » Damn it. Why did they seem to get along of all sudden ?

« As you wish. This was merely a warm up. » he lied

« I do not doubt it any second. »

And just like that, the conversation became non-verbal again.

…

Truth be told, neither knew how long they've been fighting. Was it an hour ? Three hours ? 20 minutes ?

Truth be told, neither cared.

All janus knew is that he was getting better and better, almost becoming a challenge to the King , and the other side seemed glad to step up and fight with more intensity.

And both completely forgot to hide their excitement.

Janus started to tease king, even when he was clearly losing, and the other responded with as much sarcasm and complicity. The two glared at each other with malice and playfulness the whole time. And both couldn't help but smile.

And just like that, it felt as if they never left each other.

When he was younger, Janus and his king would play around with wooden swords, roleplaying like two ennemy seeking vengence in the most childish way. Janus sometimes would fake losing so he could see his king's proud smile which was worth losing 10 times again. His king would sometimes lose and janus would feel a feeling of acomplishment that was very strange to him, in a pleasant way. And at the end, they would most of the time lay down on the green grass and just talk about everything and anything.

And right now, he felt like he was playing with his king. Only the swords weren't made of wood anymore, and it was more professional. But still, it felt the same.

And it felt ...pleasant.

He could hear himself laugh just like when he was younger, and if he listened closely, he could feel king chuckle just like his king.

And it felt … nice.

From the talk, to the movement, both were on edge, calculating every move and waiting for an opportinity to strike. It was an amazing strategy game combined with pure raw strenght. And King's fighting style was both very classical and yet creative. He was very crafty and Janus only had to rival with his own tricks. They were in the moment, living fully the present.

And it felt...

And dear lord, it felt so, so good.

He could feel himself fly as he dodged, he could feel fire in his vein when he was about to strike down, he felt his head spinning, yet everything around him was so crystal clear, it was like a dance. A disturbing, aggressive, cold and passionate dance.

A dance...

They used to dance before.

His king and himself.

Most of the time, when they were done fighting, they would lay down on the grass. Most of the time.

Sometimes, he could have the biggest honor of all.

'Now, my dear, would you enjoy a waltz with me ?' his king offered his hand

-'I don't want to step on your foot again'

-'I told you you didn't hurt me ! Come now, it's not your job to be scared.'

despite his defensive approach, he adored those dances.

-'Alright, I'll dance with you. '

How did it go again ?

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3.

Left, right, right, wait no, was it left again ?

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

step up, forward, step back, and one turn and another. His king would have his hand on Janus' shoulder and Janus would have his hand on his king's waist. And they would dance, and the music filled the air, and his king would have made a room just for them to dance.

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

Turn around, then left then back up.

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

Then caught in their trance

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

They would just spin around, and turn and spin and spin again and everything was  spinning around them and they could only see each other and the whole world was spinning and it was just them. Just the two of them.

And they would smile and they would laugh and everything was still spinning around them and it was blissfull, passionate, affectionnate and in they would join their hands once more and their finger would interlace and once their hands was only one thing, they would lift it in the air with bravery as a victory for their hapiness.

And he would lift his hand in the air, with his king.

And they would lift their hands, hold together, in the air.

And they would yell a victory choir.

King's sword fell on the ground.

And he had his hand on King's chest.

Oh lord, he was too close to King.

Their faces were only two inches apart.

And Janus visibly forgot how to breath.

King was staring with wide eyes, clearly not expecting Janus to send his sword flying nor getting this close. None of them dared move an inch, and none of them could breath.

What... what just happened ?

How could Janus get so caught up in his dreams that he erased whatever was happening in front of him ? And how did this stupid dance from years ago helped him beat the King to his game ? And how could he, despite everything,  try to search for his king's eyes in the tyrant that stood in front of him ?

Right now, the King's red and green eyes were  flickering into orange glimps and his look was just tearing Janus up from the inside. He looked ready to cut his throat open if he had his sword in hand.

And yet …

For only a moment, only for a single instant, did Janus find his King shining through the side in front of him.

Sadly, this bloom inside of Janus' heart got cut fast as thorns grapped him and pulled him far away from his The King, and before he realized what was happening, the thons just gripped tighter and tighter, making Janus unable to hide the jolt of pain.

He struggled, trying to get away from the grasp, but they only tightened and eventually, he stopped, gasping for air. He tried to look back at the tyrant, who was simply observing with a serious expression, the joy of the past moments seemingly dissapeared the moment Janus got too close. And now, he was back to being a threat. Without looking away, he move forward, with slow steps. Janus tried to manage a sentence but the pain was too high for him to form anthing coherent. Eventually, The King was in front of Janus, and the yellow side swore he was about to get killed right on the spot, but instead he just kneeled down, grapping back the sword that flew away.

Oh.

He got up and, with the other hand, brushed over the blade. Without looking away from it, he spoke : « You fought well. » He lift his eyes to meet Janus, struggling not to faint, and determined to look at him with rage. The corner of his lips twiched into the smallest of smirk and he turned back, opening the gap between the two.

And as the King took his steps, Janus' eyes widened, realizing what King was about to do.

'No.'

'No. Not again.'

'Don't leave. '

'Please'

'Don't leave me again. '

He turned into a snake to got away from the thorns and rushed towards him, ready to grip his cape. Anything. Anything but that. He was so close...

But the thorns got Janus back before he could make it.

He couldn't even hear his own grunts of pain. All he could listen to was the sound of footsteps, and a windblow that made King dissapear. Janus froze in place.

And the silence that grew in the room was deafening.

After what felt like an enernity, the thorns let go of Janus, who simply fell on his knees shaking. He hugged himself as hard as he could, and curled on himself.

He tried to fight back tears that wouldn't stop to threaten to fall.

And none of them ever left his eyes. Just like no wound ever left his heart.

------------------------- WHOOOOOO What a ride! This was really fun to write and the challenge of putting words on the visuals your head come up with is certainly something. Now, I hope you didn’t expect things for them to get better just like that, huh? ;) There is too much they need to discuss before being close to make peace, so that’ll have to wait! I have other ideas for those two so I’ll see if I get motivated to write it out. Hope you liked it!! :D

[fullmetalscullyy]

tysm for the tag @hanamuri and @roseofbattles i appreciate it friends <333

How many works do you have on AO3? 86

What's your total AO3 word count?  1,462,725 😳

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. royai collections - rated: m. just a big ol’ collection of royai oneshots grouped together. idk how i ended up with 100 chapters of random oneshots haha i never imagined i would get that far w them but it’s so Neat seeing all of them compiled together

2. the way it was - rated: m. family royai, royai!kid, canon divergence, “what if riza never joined the military”. my babie. my child. this was a long process to work through but it was so much fun to play about with canon events where royai are married, have a kid, and how much things may change for them both. i think this is the one i’m most proud of overall. so much effort was poured into it. for years this fic was an idea i wanted to tackle and i’ve never felt peace and satisfaction quite like it when i wrapped it all up at the end

3. let you love me - rated: t. family royai, royai!kid, modern au. another one that is dear to me and has been for a long time. i have a playlist for this fic and whenever i listen to it i’m taken right back to the late summer/autumn i worked on it. the vibes are exquisite. this au was pure self indulgence, giving riza a kid and having roy move in next door to them both and royai slowly falling in love <3

4. hit and run - rated: m. historical au, enemies to lovers, basically riza being kickass and amazing w a Neat slowburn, if i do say so myself :)) this is another one i love to pieces and it comes a v v v close second to being my absolute fave story i’ve ever written. the idea was sparked by a trip into edinburgh old town’s ~haunted~ vaults and it was such a joy to write and draw on that experience for the setting. the vibes were perfect

5. closer - rated: t. ~drama central~. this ended up being much more popular than i imagined it would be lol i wanted to dabble in the OC, Jealous Girlfriend trope bc why not and sometimes we all need a wee bit of melodrama in our fic reading/writing lives <3

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? yes!! i love reading comments and people’s thoughts on what i’ve written omg they make my day every time. i want them to know their kindness is v much appreciated. even if it takes a while for me to get round to it bc of life, i will defo reply eventually!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? hmm idk i think all my fics are angst w a happy ending at the very least, apart from a few hurt/no comfort oneshots. for multi-chaptered fics i always tend to go with the happy ending. idk if i would have it in me to write a really angsty ending for a long fic haha

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? hmm. there’s a few haha. probably the majority of my multichapter fics. so, i’ll choose the happiest fic in general, which has to be my inferno. pure, happy vibes and good times. singer riza killing it and pursuing her dreams while famous bf roy is nothing but supportive and her biggest fan

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? no, i have not yet dabbled in a full blown crossover but idk if i ever will

Have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah lol

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i did a few years ago but nothing for a long time

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i’m aware of

Have you ever had a fic translated? i’m not aware if anyone has gone ahead with translating anything. i did get a few questions about it last year (? i think) but idk if they ever did it

Have you ever co-written a fic before? yesss they’re so much fun!! i love working w my friends and creating new things!! i’m always down for it

What’s your all-time favourite ship? royai and msr baybeee

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? hmmm i would say txf royai au but. i’ve not even started it yet ;___; i really want to tho i just know it will take A Lot and i just. don’t have it in me atm. or the time in general. however, i am determined and won’t be so easily beaten. that’s another project i’ve wanted to do for years so one day i’ll get there

What are your writing strengths? i think writing soft royai. people seem to like my soft royai fics :’) and writing aus. i really enjoy working on aus and creating a new world for royai to run around in and be in love. i would like to think the worlds and plots are interesting enough for me to consider them a strength haha 

What are your writing weaknesses? hmmMMM. (there’s a few but) descriptions of places the characters are in i feel like i lack a lot, but i am aware of it and if i was to tackle a big/long plot again that would be something to focus on improving. i could defo include more introspection but also. sometimes i just need to work w the vibe and not go that deep. it takes a lot out of me, however, i just need to practice!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i’ve never done it but i have been learning scottish gaelic for the last year and a half and i would love to be able to incorporate it in a fic somehow, but idk if it will ever be able to tie w a royai au haha. idk maybe i’ll just rewrite canon w them all speaking scottish slang that’ll be easy enough. edward elric @ truth: square go mate. @ viz media hmu for that translation anytime 

What was the first fandom you wrote for? the x files

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? hmmm for the longest time it was let you love me and while i still love it, i think it’s been beaten by the way it was and hit and run. i really can’t pick between the two of them. i’m a simple gal, i love riza and royai!family <3

tagging @firewoodfigs @tsaritsa @megthemighty @bringingglory @nightofnyx8 @niconiconina @vadeofspades but no pressure ofc <333

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Maybe We Meet Again

My Masterlist

In Another Life (prequel to this)

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: The first part (of two) of the sequel of In Another Life, set in a Modern!AU.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Mentions of death, descriptions of violence and death, major character death (past), nothing else I can think of.

A/N: Hi, idk what you guys were expecting when it came to the follow up for In Another Life, but I hope you like this. Thank you so much for your support in that work and all the others, none of this would be possible without you guys keeping me sane motivated. Love ya.

Taglist: @1950schick @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927​

Ivar’s gaze is focused on his phone, awaiting his brother’s answer to finally know how much longer will it be before he gets to the café, but something makes him lift his gaze, looking out the window.

He sees you looking positively overwhelmed on a street corner, eyes squinting at a sign, trying to read the name of the street.

Ivar doesn’t know what it is that makes him adjust the crutch in his left arm and stand up to approach you. He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t deny the pull, the whisper that if he doesn’t at least learn your name he will regret it.

“Do you need help?” He asks as pleasantly as he is able to, and based by the grateful smile you offer, even if twinged with embarrassment, he isn’t quite the mannerless grump his brothers make him out to be.

“Is it that obvious?” You huff a laugh at yourself, and continue, “I’m trying to find…”

Your eyes lower to your phone, and with an adorable frown in your nose, you give up on whatever it is you must say, and just show him the screen. The name of the university is familiar, but you are very much lost, it seems, for it is almost on the other side of town.

He tells you that, and tries not smiling at the expression on your face. Gods, you are cute.

“You are not from here.” He states, and you shake your head.

“Here on a scholarship, I’m going to be an assistant investigator in…” Your words die again, as you seemingly try to remember the name of the place you are supposed to be at. But you shake yourself out of that soon enough, and offer a smile, “I’m Y/N.”

The name makes something in him react, awaken. For a moment he tries to remember why, to understand, but it feels like trying to run in a dream, in feels strange and hopeless and out of his reach.

Before you can think him too strange, he tells you his name, and desperately tries thinking of something to say in the awkward silence that follows.

He finds himself asking if you have time for a coffee, motioning absently to the shop behind him, and by some turn of his luck, you say yes.

Ivar finds out soon enough that it is incredibly easy to get you to talk. It works for him, he doesn’t always know what to say, and he knows to most people he seems cold.

But you, you are warm and alive and expressive, and soon enough you are moving your hands excitedly, speaking of finally being granted the opportunity to assist in a dig on a ship burial site. Ivar frowns, and interrupts you with a mumble of your name, still not over the strange thrill that goes over him when sounds out the syllables.

“There’s no sea nearby, how w-…”

“A ship burial doesn’t mean one at sea,” You interrupt softly, eyes shining. After a breath, where it seems your smile trembles on your lips, you add, “Things are not as literal as you think they are, Ivar.”

He tries returning the smile, but his lips part and his breath stutters out.

Why does it feel like he’s forgetting something?

He shakes himself out of it, and leans forward on the table, resting his elbows on it and looking into your eyes.

“So, why all this? Why chase a love story all the way to Bække?”

You shrug your shoulders, a smile that Ivar tries not finding devastatingly adorable playing on your lips, “I don’t like secrets.”

“I don’t think they are keeping it particularly from you.”

“Still. I…it’s a story no one else knows, something that can change how we see the world.” Your eyes are shining in a sort of wonder, of excitement, he has never seen before.

Still, because he cannot help it, he reminds you, “How we see one man.”

“A man that changed the world,” You argue without hesitation, gesturing with your hands as you continue, “Strip away the atrocity, the cruelty, the…otherworldliness of those who are remembered as monsters, and the tale we tell changes, the world changes.

You place your hand over the worn book he saw you carrying, that when he asked you told it was your favorite copy of historical and archaeological records detailing the last years of the Golden Age for Vikings, your eyes fiery as they meet his,

“All we have to remember him by is the legend, the war stories, the chaos he sowed and the death that followed. Even his grave is one of magic, of superstition.”

“But not this one you are working on.”

“Not this one. If I can prove that she was his wife…” A breathed laugh leaves your lips, and Ivar clings to the sound. You bite your lip before insisting, “I just need her name to be the right one.”

“The right one?”

You shrug your shoulders, moving both hands so they are wrapped around your cup of coffee, though your fingers are anxiously tapping at the plastic covering. “His last breath was a whisper of a name. It may not mean anything, but it’s the one lead I have. He may have been a monster, but…he died with a name on his lips.”

“The name of his wife.”

You correct with a shake of your head, “Presumed wife, Rus records only speak of a shieldmaiden that was found dead in his room, before he tore the Rus apart from the inside. Sentimentality makes you think he was avenging her. Logic, on the other hand…”

When your words die with a gesture of your hand, Ivar finishes for you,

“Makes you realize he killed her.”

You nod, a twitch of sadness, a shine of grief in your eyes, before you shake your head at yourself with a sigh.

“The night the world ended.” You quote with a smile that trembles on your lips.

____

If someone were to ask him how life turned out this way, how he got to be here with you and have you love him and let him love you back, Ivar wouldn’t know how to answer.

He’s told you before that maybe it is Fate, that maybe, just maybe, you two were meant to be. Each time he speaks of it, you smile softly, usually shaking your head or kissing him to shut him up, but he sees the tremble in your smile, the curiosity in your gaze, the wondering.

Regardless of how he got here, he for once refuses to overthink this, refuses to let himself be twisted into knots by his own thoughts.

So, because he finds himself missing you -because he wants to, because he can, because he asked you to move in and you said yes- Ivar goes in search of you.

He finds you on the couch, your eyes closed and breathing deep even if your laptop is still open on the coffee table, expecting you to continue work you probably fell asleep doing.

More than a year you’ve dedicated to this dig of yours, this investigation. More than a year, you’ve A part of him torments him with thoughts that you may look elsewhere -both when it comes to a home and when it comes to him- when it is done, but he tries not dwelling much on it.

He whispers an endearment as he presses a kiss right under your ear, a gesture and softness a year ago he never would have believed himself capable of.

“C’mon, wake up, Princess. I can’t exactly carry you to bed.”

“There’s a…bed right here,” You make a vague gesture to the tiny space you leave for him to apparently sleep in, “And there’s a me, and a you.”

Ivar tries replying with a whisper of your name, but Gods, you have him wrapped around your pinky, and your smile stops whatever he was going to insist with.

With a sigh, he sits on the small space you leave, and discards the crutch on the floor at his side. Trying to move you so he can lay down and have you rest on his chest, he once again meets resistance.

“No, no, no,” You mutter sleepily, and stiffen so he can’t maneuver you. “I’m comfy. You leave me be, Lothbrok.”

Our arms lift weakly, inviting him to lay partially over you with his head on your chest. It is inviting, especially with the promise of your fingers running through his hair.

So, he desists and settles in place, pressing a kiss to the center over your heart and laying his head on your chest, his arms going underneath you and wrapped tightly around you.

Ivar closes his eyes, and he can hear it beating under his ear, can hear its rhythm as if he could know it by memory.

He turns his head, and presses another kiss to the skin over your heart.

What he wouldn’t do for that heartbeat.

____

You wake him in the early morning whispering excitedly about the chance to finally go to the site, and insisting that he has to come with you.

“It’s her.” You whisper, and your smile is fucking blinding. When he apparently dwells too long on the warmth of that smile, you insist with an excited pitter-patter of your feet that he gets up.

He does, and gets in the car with you, around curses about the cold that you giggle at, an annoyed furrow in his brow you kiss away, and grumbles about how far away it is that you soothe away with soft kisses.

You get ahead of him when you walk towards the stones embedded on the ground you said are in the shape of a ship, and Ivar limps behind you as you approach the biggest of the stones.

Your hair flows everywhere in the wind, and your arms are wrapped tightly around yourself to ward off the cold.

“The one thing that made him human is here,” You say, and he watches as your left hand raises as if to press your palm against the old stone, before you stop yourself. “The one proof that he wasn’t a…a monster. Just a man.

You chuckle, but it is bitter, sorrowful, pained; and your gaze lowers to the ground.

“Or…he was, until he killed her.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, to that look in your eyes, to that pressure he feels deep in his chest. So, Ivar grabs on tighter to his crutch and moves closer to the pillar.

“‘She will return victorious’.” Ivar reads slowly, feeling a pit of dread at the base of his stomach, like he’s at the edge of a cliff and about to fall, like he knows what it feels to have the world end, like…like he-…

Those that followed him, those that chose their Viking roots over Oleg’s Christian ways, stay quite a distance away, they know better than to approach.

Ivar doesn’t know how much time he has spent sitting on this cold grass engraving with shaking hands the words he tries remembering how to spell.

He knows he’s lost a lot of blood, can feel it, sticky and colder by the minute, pooling underneath him. The one blow that managed to land on him, he wishes he could remember who it was, how it happened.

He doesn’t remember much of what happened between your lips breathing a last kiss over his and the light dying in Oleg’s eyes as his body surrendered to the torture.

Even his hand is bleeding, Ivar notices. He remembers faintly of holding on to a small statue when he was told his father died, he remembers the feel of it breaking the skin.

He could die here, he knows.

If he doesn’t let them approach him, if he doesn’t let them stop the bleeding, he will die here, tired and worn and alone, under a pool of his own blood before a monument of his worst mistakes.

He can close his eyes and he can still feel the fathom touch of your hand on his cheek, can still taste the warmth of your smile pressed against his own lips, can still see your gaze filled with love and the promise of forever.

He can still hear your voice, soft and gentle, the whispered hope that maybe Valhalla is another chance to meet again, that maybe in another life there’s hope for…hope.

He finishes the last of the letters, and he sways forward, brow resting against cold stone.

It would be easy, he gathers, to close his eyes and give in to the lull of the memory of your voice, your touch.

But he refuses to.

Because he can also feel your hand giving one last caress before you sentence you both to die, can still taste the tears in your lips as you promise only death will stop you against his own, can still see your dead eyes staring back up at him, his knife deep in your heart.

And so Ivar drops the blooded iron tool before the words he will pray to his very last breath are true: She will return victorious.

He vowed once he would make the world remember him, but the world ended the night he put a knife through your heart. The world -his world- ended, and he finds with cruel clarity that he wants them all to know what it feels.

He will still be the most famous Viking who has ever lived. He will make them all suffer and pay and die. And they will remember the pain and death and chaos. And he will be a legend, if only one they will whisper in fear for the rest of time, if only the legend of a monster in a man’s skin.

Ivar crawls away from the boat made of stone, certain many will try to stop him, even more will try to kill him. Certain they will fail.

They can’t kill him, don’t they know who he is?

“Are you okay?” Your hand on his back, touch making him realize how quickly his breaths are coming out of him. Bu the can’t-…he can’t get his breathing back under control, he can’t…

He moves back, away from the stone -the monument, the grave- and his hand doesn’t grip correctly at the crutch on his side. Almost all his life with these things, he’s never failed to use them, they work as an extension of him by now.

And he realizes with dawning horror he wasn’t reaching for the forearm crutch he’s used to, he was expecting to find a rougher one, wooden and metal and…Gods, he can feel the pain of those iron braces, he can feel the pressure of the bones that try to break under unfitting contraptions.

He cannot keep the scream from leaving his lips when they set the bone back into place, the pressure building from the inside of his leg and the pain threatening to pull him under.

He feels faintly of your hand on his face, trying to help him feel anything other than pain; hears choppily of your voice by his ear, trying to drown out the beat of his own heart.

He can’t tell how much time passes, all he knows is that your touch and your voice prove to be the only thing keeping him conscious.

“I hate those things.” You mutter sometime in the night, and he opens bleary eyes to watch you gritting your teeth at the iron braces that lie somewhere on his left.

“Necessary.” The word leaves him in a gasp, and is all he can say. Still, the Gods would sooner sew his mouth shut for him to refuse arguing.

You have the look of wanting to argue, he knows it, he knows that fire like he knows himself; but you say nothing.

The fire is a different one, but still scalds, when you press your hand over his chest.

He hears you say his name, or…or he thinks he does, and when he looks at you, your eyes are the same. And…how didn’t he know?

His lips form the shape of your name, but he only rasps out grief, horror, regret, his regret.

Your expression falls, your eyes fill with tears. He knows that look, that shine of devastation in your eyes.

You look at him and he sees it written in your eyes, the plea that he doesn’t ask you to make this choice.

But he cannot go on while the threat of them taking you away from him looms over him. Either he loses you for good now, or they do.

A part of him dreads your answer, and another is already certain what your choice will be.

“I’ll stay,” You sentence, and it feels like breathing for the first time in a century, when he fills grateful lungs with air. “Out of love for you, not for the world you want to build.”

But he cannot keep the coldness of his voice, he cannot keep the venom from his lips. Because even if your choice was to stay, he wants to punish you for even thinking about leaving him behind.

“A world where you happen to be one of the most powerful women. Convenient, isn’t it?”

But even as ice cuts and bruises and breaks the skin, your smile is warm.

“I choose this world not for power, but because I cannot fathom a world without you in it.”

“You remember.” Is all you whisper. And he recognizes that expression in your face too, all he knew was the feeling behind it once. You have the look of someone whose world just ended.

____

Sooooo, what do you think? I’m sorry there isn’t much fluff, I’m not good at it. And I’m sorry it ends in a cliffhanger, that isn’t nice, but the last part (which takes place from the Reader’s perspective) will hopefully come soon.

Thank you so much for reading, I would love to know your thoughts on this one!! Love you!!

Maybe Death Gives Up On Us (sequel to this)

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[chocosvt]

⚬ pairing: seungcheol x reader. ⚬ word count: 4865. ⚬ warnings: drinking / smoking. ⚬ genre: mostly angst, fluff, some suggestive/borderline nsfw scenes. a casual life!au? (meaning he isn’t an idol) 

✧✎ synopsis: seungcheol knows you’re no longer together, that he should’t be thinking about you as often as he does, and yet, you keep appearing. his heart doesn’t know how many times it can afford to split.  

✧✎ a/n: i really wanted to write smth as i work toward finishing that other massive fic. so HERE. bc i miss seungcheol ;-; and idk i just like angst lol. 

i.

Seungcheol doesn’t know if it’s right for him to be looking at you like this. It doesn’t necessarily feel wrong, but there’s a distinct craving in his gaze that spots him with doubt. You’re not together any more. The chapter where your lives were once romantically intertwined was coldly shut months ago, leaving little room for reconciliation or even the most surface-level of acquaintances. Yet, Seungcheol is struck with a sudden pining as his eyes inspect you from top to bottom across the room, finding it pure luck you were both at the same new year’s party.

There’s a doorway from the living room that leads into the kitchen. Seungcheol is sitting on the sofa with a jade-tinted bottle in his hand, though the amount of alcohol he’s consumed since first arriving has greatly subsided. He’s too distracted by you to even raise the bottle to his lips, nor does he adequately listen when Joshua attempts a conversation. You’re talking to some people he doesn’t recognize, your eyes rather milky and a shiny can in your hand. He stares at the side of your neck and thinks it would be nice if he were giving you a hickey right now.

“Hey.” Joshua bumps Seungcheol’s shoulder and the boy finally turns his head.

He sees Wonwoo and Hansol as well, who give Seungcheol a warm glance. He notes that Hansol is carrying his signature black lunchbox.

Joshua then leans toward Seungcheol’s ear in order to whisper over the music: “We’re going outside to smoke, you coming or not?”

Seungcheol shakes his head. “Pass,” he says, “I don’t really feel like it.”

He pays attention to the beer in his hand, titling his head back as he gulps down a significant amount of the tangy, bubbly flavour. It doesn’t taste that good, and the bottle’s not even cold at this point, but Seungcheol figures he should just finish it anyways. Joshua sees you in the kitchen, leaning generously against the sink while you attempt to smile at the strangers who converse with you. It was worth a try to get Seungcheol off the couch and away from lamenting at your lost relationship, but he’s unimaginably stubborn when he wants to be.

“Okay,” Joshua replies, patting his shoulder, “don’t get too hung up or anything.”

Seungcheol watches the small crowd weave their way through the congregation to reach the patio door, the last he glimpses of Joshua being his bright blue hat before he slips into the chilly night. Quickly, Seungcheol polishes off the remaining alcohol inside the jade bottle, heavily swallowing the deep burn that melts down his throat while deserting the glass on the arm of the couch. He senses a distant thrumming in his cranium, knows he’ll regret every sip by morning, but for now he cares so very little.

As he leans back in his seat, Seungcheol comes to focus on the body that’s suddenly standing right in front of him. It’s weird, who would do that? However, the breath instantly whisks from the boys’ lungs when he realizes that it’s not just some intoxicated, fucked up stranger who isn’t even cognisant of what room they’re in. It’s you. You’re standing in front of him, to which Seungcheol poorly hides the stupor that colours his face. Before he can stumble out a single word, you’re straddling his lap and settling your hands against his firm shoulders.

Evidently, Seungcheol doesn’t know what the hell is happening. Neither of you are in a sober headspace. Furthermore, he hasn’t touched you (let alone been this close to you) in almost three months. Out of habituality, he grabs the familiar warmth of your waist, the simple contact with your skin igniting an emotion that was once wholly repressed. Staring into your eyes, he sees how foggy they are. He knows his can’t look much different.

“W-What are you doing?” Seungcheol stutters, his cheeks hot and sunset pink.

At first, you don’t speak, only crack a small smile while wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your faces in close proximity until you’re practically breathing the same air.

You blink at him heavily. “Kiss me.” You whisper against his mouth.

Seungcheol doesn’t believe he’s capable of ever denying you.

The next few hours seem to seamlessly blend together. Seungcheol remembers the intense make-out that ensued on the couch and the little regard he carried for the environment around him. Once he tastes the sharp liquor from your lips, he completely submits to that catastrophic buzz you give him. Feeling your weight push down against his lap, how your fingertips slip through his soft, onyx hair, the way it feels morally wrong to welcome your tongue into his mouth, but so physically right that Seungcheol can only pull your hips closer.

He remembers the warm, open-mouthed kisses he nipped to your sensitive neck, murmuring in a slurred, gritty tone: “let me take you upstairs, baby.”

Joshua might throw the remainder of Hansol’s stale bong water over his head if he discovered what you and Seungcheol did. Somehow, there’s an empty bedroom available at the end of the dim corridor. After falling onto the sheets, you hastily pull the white top over your head and fling it toward a dusky corner, reaching for Seungcheol as he climbs over top your body. While pressing more heated kisses against your throat, already bruising and marked with indents from his teeth, Seungcheol’s hand rubs a sweet friction between your thighs, right over your jeans.

He hears you release a small cry of his name, your nails dragging down his back.

Nothing has ever made his heart shake more.

ii.

Seungcheol is confused as to what time is it. There’s no alarm clock on the bedside table, and his phone is buried within the pocket of his navy green jacket slumped at the end of the bed. He can’t hear much from the level beneath him. Looking toward the blinds, he can only gauge slits of the night sky. All of a sudden, there’s a sickly coughing noise from behind the shut bathroom door, to which he views a small sliver of yellow light underneath. Seungcheol notes the empty space beside him. He hears another cough, followed by a pained and irritated groan.

Damn – you have to be hungover.

Stumbling drearily out from the bed, Seungcheol brushes away the black strands of hair that flop before his eyes. He almost topples over trying to get his boxers back on. The pounding in his head isn’t unbearable, and he figures he’ll be fine after getting some water in his system and dozing off to a few painkillers. Seungcheol taps his knuckles against the bathroom door.

“Hey,” he calls out, his voice still thick with sleep, “how bad is it?”

There’s a moment of silence. Seungcheol assumes it must feel bizarre to have your ex consoling you through a hangover, especially considering the history of last night.

“I don’t know…” comes your weak response, “I think I’m dying.”

Seungcheol leans his head against the wood and laughs. “You’re not dying, honey. Can I come in?”

The door swings open, and Seungcheol sees you half-dressed in your white t-shirt and underwear, a watery film in your eyes and a look of pure exhaustion draining your countenance. Then, you’re immediately collapsing back to the cold tiling, leaning your head against the side of the bathtub while the toilet sits across from you. This doesn’t feel like an unfamiliar scene. Seungcheol used to always nurture you through your intoxication, and at least this time you possess enough strength to stand without your legs trembling.

“You want me to get you anything?” Seungcheol asks. “Water? A wet cloth? Some pills?”

He doesn’t know where he’ll get the pills. It’s probably three in the morning, but he figures the convenience store in town might still be open.

You swallow tightly and wrap your arms around your knees, the fluorescent lights gleaming against your balmy, flushed skin. It seems as though you won’t look him in the eyes. Seungcheol understands. This isn’t supposed to be happening. Neither of you should be in this bedroom.

A poignant sigh escapes your chest. “What’s wrong with me?” You ask, the water glimmering bright in your eyes. “Why did we do this?”

Seungcheol stiffens. When he catches a glimpse of his body in the mirror, he can read the hazy extent of your night together. The bruises are tinted like cherry and violets, smudged against his chest, his collarbone and neck. Even now, as he really concentrates, Seungcheol can feel the cool air sting dully against his back, which he can only hypothesize is decorated in long, deep scratches that will possibly burn like hell in the shower. His body hasn’t looked like this in months. There’s a clandestine part of him that wishes the marks will never lose their vibrancy.

He doesn’t know how to soothe your conflict.

Instead, Seungcheol takes a seat on the edge of the bathtub and stares down at you tenderly.

“I don’t know,” he replies, “we don’t always make the right decisions.”

You tilt your head back and meet his eyes. Seungcheol’s chest flutters.

For a moment, you look like you want to say something; however, an immediate grimace wrinkles your face and a tight hand is curling around your stomach. You scoot close to the toilet, holding onto its rim while a heavy cough burns acrid against your throat and suddenly, you’re upchucking the potent, venomous liquor from last night. Seungcheol collects your hair in his hand, pulling it back from your face. Once the surges calm for a few minutes, you’re too energy-depleted to do much apart from hang over the toilet, Seungcheol rubbing your back.

It’s three in the morning, but he feels like he would do anything for you.

iii.

Seungcheol opens his wallet and forks out the bills necessary to cover his lunch. He slides out from the booth first, accompanied by Seokmin and Jeonghan who suggested they go out to eat after their basketball game. Seungcheol trails behind them on his phone as they walk down a slim corridor toward the front of the restaurant. He’s texting Joshua about what their fridge looks like, and if it’s necessary to ask Jeonghan about making a stop at the supermarket. The afternoon light is dull as they enter the front house, and Seungcheol sees it’s raining outside.

“Wait—,” Jeonghan stops them before they can leave. “Let me try the gumball machine. Does anyone have ten cents?”

“The gumball machine?” Seokmin laughs. “Are you a child?”

“Shut up.” Jeonghan tuts in response. “I want a pink one. Now do you have ten cents or not?”

“Sheesh, give me a second, I’m checking.”

Seungcheol has developed the skill of tuning out their innocuous banter. He looks through the windows and into the downpour, which ripples unforgivingly against the glass and slicks the pavement. For their sake, he’s glad Jeonghan was able to find a parking spot across the street. As the boy gets down on his knee and crams the small coin into the slot, cranking the handle, something manages to catch in Seungcheol’s peripheral vision. His heart skips a beat. You’re looking out the window while nibbling worrisomely upon your bottom lip.

“Are you freaking kidding? Orange? That’s the worst.”

“Why does it matter?” Seokmin quips. “They all taste the same.”

Jeonghan huffs petulantly. “But I wanted pink! Do you have another ten cents?”

Seungcheol hasn’t seen you since your wicked hangover at the New Year’s party. Though it’s a moment of the past, he remembers the situation so vividly, even more so how restless he felt afterward. He was unable to remove you from his mind, and he thought about you so often that he felt the ache with his whole chest. You haven’t noticed him yet. Seungcheol wants to approach you, though he’s not sure how kindly you’ll react or if you’ll brush him off.

“Awe, yes! Pink!”

Jeonghan stands triumphantly from the gumball machine. He holds the pink candy between his fingers and gets ready to pop it straight in his mouth, and yet, the slippery thing flings from his grasp at the last second. The gumball hits the floor, rolling outside into the rain just as someone runs indoors with their umbrella. Seokmin starts cackling, and Jeonghan just looks like he wants to go home. But Seungcheol can’t leave right now. He decides he has to talk to you.

“Meet you guys in the car,” he says, “I have to do something first.”

Seungcheol taps you on the shoulder. You jump slightly, and he feels bad about scaring you, but he’s relieved to see that your expression is cordial rather than aggravated. It blatantly feels strange. You don’t resemble a stranger, yet you’re not extremely clear to him either.

“Seungcheol? Did you eat here?”

The boy nods. “Yeah, I came here after basketball with some friends”

“O-Oh,” you stutter, looking off to the side, “I’m just waiting.”

You then gesture out the window, toward the grey, heavy rain. Seungcheol spots Seokmin and Jeonghan walking across the street, sporting their jackets pulled over their heads, looking somewhat like imbeciles who he has a soft spot for. At one point you were close with both of them, but now Seungcheol doesn’t even know if you still keep in touch. When you broke up, your worlds started floating apart, and that included contact with each other’s friends.

“Right,” Seungcheol snaps his fingers, “you’re still doing the tutoring thing at the library, huh?”

A timid smile pulls on your lips. “I’m tutoring someone today, but it’s so rainy out. I don’t think it’s gonna pass very soon.”

Seungcheol finds that he doesn’t even process what comes out from his mouth. There’s a sudden rush of giddiness in his veins, and he feels like his nervous, sophomore-self that once crushed on you before your relationship even started. At the same time, it’s an offer he used to make without thought when you were dating, and it warps into a conflicting, emotional mess.

“Do you want my windbreaker?” He asks, plucking at the black and white fabric. “It’s waterproof and stuff.”

Your mouth hangs open for a little bit.

“Uhm… I just—I don’t know, you don’t have to—,”

“It doesn’t matter, seriously.” Seungcheol replies, staring into your wide eyes with a soft expression. “Just give it back whenever we see each other again, okay?”

You lick your lips, swallowing tautly before nodding your head. Seungcheol removes his jacket and helps you slip into the material. It’s a little bit big on you, and the hood droops down far over your face, but, god, seeing you in his clothes engenders Seungcheol’s heart to beat so unbelievably fast. He experiences a concoction of different emotions, different memories. He remembers how it felt seeing you wear his t-shirt after the first time you slept together, how he felt when you’d set up a long distance skype call and you’d be dressed in his old hoodie.

Everything comes rushing back. He doesn’t want to walk away from you, but he knows it’s wrong to linger. You don’t belong to each other anymore.

But at least he’ll get to see you again.

iv.

Seungcheol bounces the basketball a few times against the lacquered floor, feeling the leather texture brush beneath his palm. Then, he takes a deep shot, watching the ball suction perfectly into the hoop just before it echoes against the ground. He was the sole person occupying the gym after a late-night practice. Seokmin was with him about ten minutes ago, but he ended up packing his things and heading off to shower stalls, wishing Seungcheol a goodnight. Even though Seungcheol said he would be leaving shortly, he didn’t know why he was still here.

He picked the ball up and tossed it again, hearing the satisfying swish of the net.

The gym doors suddenly squeak, loud and metallic, to which Seungcheol takes out an earbud assuming that maybe Seokmin forgot something. However, the face that smiles at him doesn’t belong to Seokmin at all, and Seungcheol feels his heart soar. You’re holding the windbreaker that the boy let you borrow during the downpour last week, and he hears a relieved sigh.

“I figured I might catch you here.”

Seungcheol smiles and sets his earbud back in. It astonishes him that you can recall the days he has basketball practice, though Seungcheol supposes it makes great sense considering you used to attend all his warm-ups and games. He grows oddly fond seeing you from the court again.

“Just put in next to that black bag on the bench.”

“I never got to thank you for letting me use it,” you explain while returning the windbreaker to the rest of his belongings, “it was really pouring out, but I was definitely less wet than if I had nothing. I wasn’t too sure if you would still be here. Of course, I knew when I saw Seokmin.”

“It must’ve been weird for him to see you coming back here.” He replies. You would never come to the court unless Seungcheol was there.

“He said hi to me,” you admit, scratching your arm, “he looked kinda nervous though.”

Seungcheol can’t help but note that you seem a little saddened by the interaction. The break-up between you two was all but civilized and pretty. There was shouting, tears, bitter and cold words shanked through the thick air with infinitesimal regard for the other’s feelings. Seungcheol remembers you pushing a picture frame of you two together off the shelf, how the glass cracked, different shards scattering far across the floor. He remembers storming into his bedroom and throwing all your clothes into one heaping pile, demanding that you leave, swearing that he hopes to never see you again. Now, everything feels so pointless and stupid.

The falling out crumbled an entire web of ties between you. Seungcheol understands why Seokmin would be nervous to see you, but he hates to know how it’s upset you.

“Hey,” Seungcheol calls out, attempting to lift the depressive mood, “Wanna shoot?” He bounces the basketball.

You immediately tense. “Uh – no. I haven’t touched a basketball since we were dati—I mean, well – you know. I haven’t played at all.”

Seungcheol smiles, rolling his eyes. “Just come here.” He beckons. “I’ll remind you.”

“I-I don’t know, my friend is in the car. I shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

“It’ll take two minutes.” He reasons. “I promise.”

The boy is delighted to see you comply, even if you are hesitant and approach him with bleeding apprehensiveness. While he shows you how to hold the ball as well as the correct motion to make with your wrist, there’s a smile blooming from one corner of your mouth to the other. Sometimes the past feels exactly like it should: the past. At this moment, a warmth ignites between you two, a spark that feels passionate and ever-lasting. Once he gives a few examples, the ball is suddenly in your hands, and he watches brightly as you sink a basket.

Seungcheol collects the ball, smirking. “You wanna play?” He then asks, checking the ball straight into your chest.

“No,” you respond, sending it back harder, “you know I just said I have someone waiting.”

“It hasn’t been two minutes yet.”

“There’s probably thirty seconds left. We have no time.”

“Fine,” Seungcheol shakes his head, “be a loser.” He doesn’t wait for you, and flicks the ball through the hoop.

It hits the glossy wood, bounces a couple times, and proceeds to roll slowly across the ground. You look at Seungcheol, and Seungcheol looks at you. There’s a small moment of silence.

Until you’re both racing across the floor with arms extended, practically throwing yourselves toward the basketball. It just ghosts under your fingertips, and somehow you manage to secure it against your chest, though you’re unable to even rise from the floor as Seungcheol straddles your waist and attempts to whack the ball out of your grip. The chime of your laughter echoes loudly through the entire gymnasium. You’re too slippery and end up weaseling away, scrambling haphazardly to your feet and using your last breath to sail the ball toward the net.

Seungcheol is too late. He reaches for you, but the ball has already gone through.

As the boy wraps his arms around your waist and hugs your back against his firm, hard chest, you cry out triumphantly, pumping your fists in the air. To anyone who observed from the outside, you wouldn’t exactly paint the image of a broken relationship. You were laughing, celebrating, making harmless mockery pertaining to the other with stupid grins on your faces.

“You’re such a cheater.” Seungcheol says.

Wriggling to face him in the comfort of his grasp, you slide your arms around Seungcheol’s neck and scrunch your nose.

“How did I cheat? That was fair!”

Seungcheol grabs your hips tight, pulling you in close against his body until he can almost count the individual sparkles in your eyes and smell the sweetness of your hair.

“Uh? You said you weren’t gonna play.”

“I wasn’t!” You giggle. “Until you called me a l—,”

The metal doors squeak again. At the speed of light, you and Seungcheol detach from each other, the playful mood disintegrating as the girl who’d been waiting in the car comes looking for you. Seungcheol sees the light drain from your eyes. He watches your shoulders slump, and the deep lump you forcefully swallow upon being interrupted. Seungcheol is utterly disappointed too. His heart doesn’t quite beat the same when you bid him the tiniest, quietest goodbye before running over to your friend, apologizing to her for the unexpected wait. The doors rattle once more, and then the gym is completely empty. It stings worse than anything.

Seungcheol doesn’t understand why he can’t just have you back.

v.

It’s sometime after ten-thirty when Seungcheol finally leaves Hansol and Wonwoo’s house. It’s not a long walk back to his miniscule apartment complex crammed in the middle of town, and he loves to soaks in the calm beauty belonging to the clear, star-speckled sky. He only went over to smoke after a tiresome day at his job, but he ended up staying much longer after Wonwoo revealed his game console. They took turns playing Portal and Grand Theft Auto. It was fun, a perfect way to unwind, and now Seungcheol is ready to wash up and go to bed.

He’s wearing his earphones while walking through town, listening to old songs that remind him of you, a playlist actually, one he started making before you were even together. No matter what happens – Seungcheol is always thinking about you these days. He misses you in a way that aches deeply, like his heart has been split in two by a sharp and jagged stone. In fact, while standing at an intersection, waiting for the light to glow in a walking man symbol, Seungcheol almost mistakes someone sitting at the bus bench across the street for you.

A moment passes, and he squints through the meagre lighting. Wait—that is you.

Your gaze keeps flitting nervously from the lurid phone in your hand to the dimly lit area that surrounds you. Your knee is quickly bouncing, and Seungcheol can sense at a distance how nervous you’re feeling. He doesn’t know why you’re sitting alone in the dark, but he can’t just leave you there. Instead of walking his usual route back to the apartment complex, Seungcheol approaches you, calls out your name softly as to not make you afraid. At first you respond to him with a moonfaced expression, but then you recognize his face and your heart quiets.

“Everything okay?” Seungcheol asks, taking out his earphones.

You gulp thickly and reflect a jittery smile. “Um, kinda. My boss made me stay late for closing. I tried texting my friend to pick me up, but she’s not responding.” A frozen breeze rifles through the air and you shiver. “I-I just, I don’t want to walk home alone.”

Seungcheol doesn’t hesitate to extend his hand.

“C’mon, I’ll take you.”

A grateful smile warms your face. Standing up from the cold bench, you grab Seungcheol’s hand and interlock fingers. Your address is still fresh in his mind, to which he easily navigates the streets with you beside him. At one point, a loud dog starts barking from a few blocks over and you nearly jump out from your own skin, though Seungcheol just slides his arm around your waist, gently pulling you further into his solace. He feels you instantly relax against him. An indescribable light fills his chest. To be able to make you feel safe, like he used to, it’s aweing.

“This is it, right?” Seungcheol asks upon approaching the house porch. He knows it’s right, but he waits for you to confirm it.

“You’re right.” You tell him in a tiny voice.

His hand grazes the small of your back as you walk up the steps together, stopping before the door and its weathered, white paint. A bitterness stings against Seungcheol’s throat, a truly horrible bitterness. He doesn’t want to say goodbye – he wants to stay. He wants to take you inside and wait on your bed as you get ready for the night. He wants to experience that beautiful fluttering in his stomach when you crawl into his arms and shut off the light, his hand stroking your spine as you fall asleep, your soft, slow breaths fanning against his neck.

Why does it have to hurt like this? Seungcheol hates that he’s so in love with you, but he’d never want it any other way. Even if he has to endure this pain, it’s better than never getting to know you, touch you or love you. He swallows the hot salt and gets ready to bid his goodbye.

“Sleep well, okay? Maybe I’ll see you agai—,”

Suddenly, you’re hugging Seungcheol. Your arms wrap securely around his waist and you bury your face in his neck. He takes a slight step backward, caught off guard by the blitz of affection. He hears you suck in a trembling breath, and then he feels wet, cold droplets slide against his skin. Instantly, he holds you, one hand dearly cradling the back of your head while the other passes up and down your back. You shake in his arms and he doesn’t know why. Seungcheol just hugs you tighter. If he has to, he’ll hold you for the entire night.

“S-Seungcheol,” you release his name in a sob, lifting your head from his neck. His heart beats wildly as he looks directly into your teary eyes. “I’m s-sorry.” You cry to him. “I-I’m so sorry…”

“What?” He cups your face, collecting a few thick tears with his thumb. “For what, honey?”

“E-Everything,” you hiccup, grabbing his waist tighter, “for the st-stupid fights, the p-picture, all those h-horrible things I yelled at you – I hate my-myself because of it.”

Seungcheol shakes his head and brings your face in closer to his, brown eyes glistering. “I don’t care about that. I don’t. I said horrible things too, sweetheart. I yelled at you, I told you to leave, I made you so upset, and I know exactly how you feel.” He rubs his thumb tenderly below your damp eye, and you ease into his touch. “But that was a different time. No matter what, I’m still in love with you. What happened months ago doesn’t change that. I promise.”

You sniffle back the new pearls that nearly stain your face.

“Really? Y-You still love me?”

Seungcheol leans in. He presses his forehead against yours, his fingers delicately framing your wet, warm cheek. And then he’s kissing you softly, pouring every ounce of his heart into the contact. Your hand curls around the back of his neck. You respond passionately, keeping him as near as possible, nipping gently at his bottom lip while stealing each other’s breath. Seungcheol peers directly into your gaze. It’s glassy from the tears, but also sincere and welcoming.

“I never stopped.” He says earnestly.

He feels your fingertips thread through the black silk of his hair. You kiss him again, and his grip finds the familiarity of your hips, leading you backward until you press against the door.

“I love you too.” You admit to him between every peck.

In the rising heat, you whisper against the boy’s pretty mouth, “I want you back,” to which the words engender Seungcheol’s heart to positively melt. Seungcheol knows you already have him. It doesn’t take long before you’re unlocking the door with the key beneath an ancient flowerpot. You hop into his arms, and Seungcheol catches you like it’s nothing, sitting you on top of the corridor dresser while his kisses wander further down your neck. Every whimper he hears turns him fonder. You admit again that you love him and he smiles against your skin.

Seungcheol will always need you. He hopes he always has you.

[redrosydiaz]

Tagged by: the lovely @scimitar-and-longsword  💕💕

Name(s): my name is Mack, and if this also includes like usernames too then my ao3 is macksdramaticshenanigans and obviously yall can see my tumblr url lol. i have a fandom twitter but i hate twitter so i barely go on it lmao.

Fandom(s): oh boy haha this is a loooong list. as of right now, the main fandoms i’m involved in are The Old Guard and Trust FX, but in the past i’ve written for Skam, Marvel, Good Omens, Love Simon/Simon vs., Shameless, and IT. and ofc there are some fandoms i have not written for that i casually enjoy as well.

Where you post: all my fics are posted on ao3! or are sitting in my wips folder lol. i’ve ocsasionally posted some snippets of writing here to tumblr, but none of those are like full on, proper fics, mostly just me rambling off some thoughts i had about whatever characters in whatever scenarios

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Imagine Being Loved By Me (918 kudos) ((so close to 1k holy shit!!!! if it got to 1k i think i’d actually die of happiness omg)) this is my Good Omens smut fic lmfao, crowley is fantasizing and aziraphale makes it a reality skgjsd. i’m actually pretty damn pleased with how this one turned out, and i never expected it to get that many kudos so that makes me ridiculously happy sfjgfg. (and also podfixx made a podfic of this fic which made me INSANELY happy like that is the coolest thing ever)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): I Have Hella Feelings For You (697 kudos) ahhh this one!! this one is actually my very first ever chaptered fic!! it’s a skam fic, and i have the most distinctive memory of me sititng in my dorm bed freshman year of college, furiously typing away at my laptop everyday for a week because i somehow managed to post a chapter every day until it was finished, which meant i was writing a new chapter everyday. like damn, i really peaked with that huh? lmao

Favorite story you’ve written so far: ahh okay not to like. toot my own horn kgfldg but this question is HARD bc i have a lot of favorites. i’m going to pick a favorite from each of my main fandoms i’ve written for because i’m an Indecisive Hoe okay fdjdf.

- From Marvel: Just Called To Say I Love You this one is my wrong number stucky fic and i actually adore this one so much, and also it actually ended up being WAY more popular than i expected it to? like i was lowkey shook by how many people liked it 

- From Skam: If You Love Me, If You Hate Me so. about this one. it’s probably my favorite skam fic that i’ve written. but. it also is the utter bane of my existence bc this is the one and only fic i have ever written and posted that i haven’t fnished gskgjfdlfs. it’s going on soon to be a little over 2 years of sitting on my account as an unfinished wip, but i REFUSE to mark it as abandoned bc i really genuienly DO want to finish it, i just havent written for this fandom in a while and inspiration/motivation is tricky yknow? but anyways. this fic is my soccer au!! it was a gift for a secret santa exchange i believe to a dear friend of mine and i still feel awful that i never finished it but. one day!!

- From Love Simon/Simon vs.: Where I Like You Best i am actually obsessed with this one. is that weird to say about your own fic? i enjoy reading a good soulmate au, but writing them has always been SO daunting to me bc i never feel like my ideas are original enough or like things that havent been done a lot for that trope. but for this one!!! omg i found the BEST prompt for it and it fit these characters SO well and i wrote it and i ended up absolutely loving how it turned out, and i was so proud of myself for writing a pretty successful soulmate au.

- From Shameless: Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills so this one was my second ever gallavich fic, and it’s probably my favorite because i think it’s the best characterization i got of them in all of my fics, and good characterization is one of the most important things to me when i write fic. 

- From IT: To What We Might Do is my favorite reddie fic i’ve written! i definitely projected onto richie a teeny tiny bit in it for some parts lmfao, but yeah idk i just love how this one turned out a whole lot, and i enjoyed how i ended it too (esp since endings can be very difficult for me lol). ((BUT also a special shoutout to my fic Imagine Me and You, I Do bc that one is just pure fluff and i adore the concept of someone being just so absolutely in love with someone doing something so incredibly simple and it just rocks their world)

- From Good Omens: I Want To Know What Love Is (did i use the most cheesy title ever? absolutely. do i love it? absolutely.) anyways this fic is one where crowley the demon experiences love and promptly thinks he’s dying. 

Fic you were nervous to post: ooh, i mean i’m always pretty anxious about any fic i post because i never know if it’s going to be recepted well or if people are going to like it or hate it or if anyone is even going to read it or repsond to it. especially if the fic is a gift for someone, because i just really want that person to like it yknow? but yeah idk if theres one in particular i was more nervous to post than any others... i guess maybe any smut fic? just bc i never know if the smut is even any good lol

How do you choose your titles?: eaaaaasy, i usually pick song lyrics lol, ocassionally i’ve used lines from a poem, and a few times i’ve gone with a pun, but mostly it’s song lyrics. i usually find a song with lyrics that i think will fit, or if there’s a particular song that vibes well with the fic or that i listened to repeatedly while writing the fic i’ll try to pick the best lyric from that one.

Do you outline?: yes and no lol. it honestly depends. sometimes i outline extensively, but other times i just sit in front of a doc and let whatever happens happen.

Complete: on my ao3 account i have 80 works completed (will be 81 once i finally finish that one single unfinished wip i have posted gahhh). but i know in my wips folder i have a at least one finished fic that i have not and probably will not post. there are also some other things in my wips folder that like technically could be conisdered finished too, but it’s not up to my posting standards so until i fix it so it is it’ll just sit there lol.

In-Progress: honestly there are too many to count lol. i have a shiiiiiit ton of wips (as yall will know if you saw that one ‘tell us about ALL your wips’ tag game post that was going around that i did lol). 

Coming soon/not yet started: tbh see above answer bc it’s pretty much the same lol. 

Prompts?: so the thing about prompts is that i would LOVE to take them, but it’s very very tricky bc i’m a super specific kind of gal and if i don’t vibe with the prompt it’s very difficult for me to write anything for it. but then there’s also the fact that inspiration/motivation are fickle bitches and they come and go as they please and so taking prompts is hard bc i never know if the stars will align and all that jazz for me to be in the ~ right mood ~ to work on a prompt. this is the exact reason why i have SO MANY sitting in my inbox right now, and i feel so bad for just letting them sit there but ughhh brain function?? how?? lol

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: sooooo i don’t necessarily have any specific works in progress right now (i’ve been so busy lately that writing has been the last thing on my mind and so i haven’t touched anything in weeks) but. i guess if i can ever get my shit together and finish the primo fic i’m close to finishing i’m pretty excited to post that! or honestly if i can actually get myself to finish any of the tog wips i have i’d be suuuper excited to post any of those bc i have not yet posted any tog fics!!

anways!! if you made it to this point thanks for sticking w me and reading through my long winded rambly answers lmao

Tagging: @peachykoya @wandering-scholar-lad @raynertodd @cluelessheroes @pinesboi @thewolvesrunwild @1derspark 

[vivien-dot-exe]

Ask meme - every todoroki :eyes:

lmao BET

(this is super big huge I’m so sorry askdfjsh)

Shouto

NOTP

I don’t?? really think I have one. I’m pretty alright w/ all shouto ships tbh.

BROTP

todomomo. I get the ships but I kinda see em as them Good Supportive Friends that are just close enough that everyone Thinks They’re Dating n cannot believe they’re not but like. they never would. (am I projecting my best friendship onto shouto?? Maybe. fuck off.)

OTP

rn?? enjishouto lmao. I love love enjishouto man,, favorite child lovin,,,,

second choice

I ~guessss~ todobaku?? but tbh I’m not all that into most shouto ships. like we neutral most days. we just stay lovin bakugou + denying they’re friends???? so cute man,,

tied though is reishouto bc mommy kink. I won’t sit here and lie to you I just love gentle mommy kink sm

fluffy pairing

cliche fan fave - tododeku. we love a pair of supportive boyfs. I still do like seeing some tododeku art sometimes cause it makes our heart warm

angsty pairing

enjishouto again - I play things for angst so fuckin much dude,, if I can’t play my otp for angst then it probably isn’t gonna stick.

poly ship

can I say like. natsu/fuyu/enji/shouto. cause siblings that thirst over their hot dad together stay together

however hawks/enji/shouto is an incredibly tasty rarepair. there’s only one fic for it on ao3 but it’s So dang good,, 

weirdest pairing

I guess still enjishouto!! I have a very small amount of ships for the boy, man,,

Fuyumi

NOTP

n/a once again. every fuyumi ship I’ve seen to date or conjure up from crack shipping is cute bc she’s cute. I love seeing her in general.

BROTP

lowkey?? fuyuhawks. I can see them being excellent friends. I know romance takes are also good but. consider this: them chillin and acting goofy.

OTP

fuyunatsu. no question. it was my v first fuyumi ship and I will go down with it. (more explanation below)

second choice

fuyumi/miruko is really good!! maybe that’s just me being all ‘lesbians good’ @ the few fics n art pieces I’ve seen but Still.

fluffy pairing

reiyumi. we Love a girl n her mom huggin tight n kissing softly.

angsty pairing

fuyuenji. I’ve seen such good angst w/ these two man,, makes my heart heart Good ya feel?? them sad n guilty daddy’s girl feels Get Me

poly ship

sibling thorst: the ship (fuyu/natsu/enji/shouto)

weirdest pairing

if I was to make up a weird pairing,,,, bakuyumi. they interact Once but I like ships that are basically ‘we cook and it’s romantic’ (read: natsuki from ddlc anyone?). it’s a lil crack shippy and I’ve never ever seen any material for it, but wouldn’t it be cute to have bakugou cook w/ a cute older woman n have a cute romantic time while he’s all tsundere?? sighs wistfully,,

Natsuo

NOTP

hmm,, I’m honestly thinking I should take this option out. I really do think it cute to think the whole ass todofam w/ Anybody you know??

BROTP

natsushouto. like wow great job viv takin it Literally but as we don’t know much about natsu’s college life, I can’t exactly elect a best friend or nothin, and I Really love the concept of natsu and shouto acting like regular sibs. fighting n competing but hyping each other up, ya know?? sighs wistfully,, I actually really love brotherly dynamics a lot. like shipping em is usually my first thought but I also just???? like seeing em play around n be normal sometimes lmao. is that weird?? that it makes me happy?? idk.

OTP

fuyunatsu!! I love the concept of them constantly being there for each other, plus childish curiosity?? if you got sibs you know what that shit’s like. “you wanna try kissing??”

like listen not to be gross about it either but like. Puberty w/ that like entirety of the house to themselves. you can not tell me horny things never happened.

second choice

enjinatsu has Mad potential. I don’t get to see a lot of content for them but they make my heart happy. love the idea of both them being sweet to each other slowly in a path to forgiveness dotted with confessions and soft embraces,,,, or of course guilty dad thirst. both are Tasty

fluffy pairing

fuyunatsu is Cute. listen I want em to cuddle and support each other though they’re so different. like foils, ya know?? I am very weak for natsu having a weakness for fuyumi’s gentleness (though that could be said for the whole todofam. stan fuyumi)

angsty pairing

hmm,, I guess that’d be enjinatsu?? path to forgiveness enjinatsuo I can see being v feelsy and Tasty.

poly ship

sibling thorst Again.

weirdest pairing

man I don’t think any of these could be counted as Not weird. enjinatsu maybe?? as their dynamic is rather complicated n versatile + parent/child. I think the Least weird ship I’ve ever considered w/ him though would be natsuhawks, but I’ve not seen a lot of material for them nor do I have any ideas for dynamics. they just look nice together.

Touya (dabi)

NOTP

okay I’ll be real w/ you I lied I do have One notp and it’s dabihawks (hotwings). it’s. it’s okay, I’ll admit, but it kinda squicks me out in canon verses. like, reverse aus, genderswap aus, most aus really that slightly shift the dynamic, I’m good w/ dabihawks, but Not In Canon or any approximations of it.

(big rant on why, feel free to skip)

I guess antis just kinda fucked it up for me?? I was kinda neutral when it first was proposed, ya know like ‘oh that’s cute!! not for me but more power to ya!!’ but then dabihawks shippers started getting in hawksdeavor shippers’ faces n giving the usual arguments against age gap ships (as if a villain/hero ship was so uwu pure n unproblematic), and then there came the ‘hawks will betray the heroes and become a villain for dabi’ theories from them and it just. that was 2018 and it Still makes me uncomfortable to think about. 

I very much enjoyed hawks’ double agent thing!! but I knew an infiltration mission would end with betrayal from the beginning and that’s what I liked about it. him doing the absolute Most for the heroes even if it feels scummy to do so. I was Devastated for a moment when I saw hawks’ first meetup w/ dabi and it looked like he might be spying for them, but then we were quickly assured that it was a ploy and I was like Oh My God Thank God I Near Had A Heart Attack. but other people, the loudest group being dabihawks shippers, were dissatisfied with this and wanted canon to take a different direction and I Dunno Man, I just had very strong emotions about that and still do. 

I love hero hawks in all his double agent endeavor fanboy glory and people wanting to take it a different direction in canon felt like a blatant kind of???? idk defacing of character almost, even though that’s a mega mega mega dramatic way to put it loL don’t ask me why I got such strong feelins about it I couldn’t explain it if I wanted. I’d love to go back to being chill about it I really really would.

BROTP

idk, I think I might not???? have one for him. he seems kinda all or nothing to me, very intense w/ his emotions. if I was to Name one off the top of my head, maybe maybe togadabi, but even then I’m kinda hm on it.

OTP

first and favorite dabi ship is 1000% shigadabi. not even in most canon settings; I just like them chilling and being lovey (and going on large scale crime dates).

second choice

probably shoutodabi?? not Big on most dabi ships but love that older bro angst.

fluffy pairing

shigadabi bby!! if I wanna imagine dabi soft ever then shigadabi is a Lovely escape, canon absolutely notwithstanding.

natsutouya is also a good one to imagine, what w/ the image of them cuddling making my heart Warm

angsty pairing

shoutodabi. I saw this one reunion fic of them and I had So Many Emotions oh my god.

dabihaul is also a good candidate, though it’s less Angst more hurt little comfort. (not to mention I don’t ship it much myself lol a friend sold me on their interp) it’s not very emotional as I like my angst, more just got them whump aesthetics.

poly ship

good question. I’ve highkey not thought about it smH - maybe if I just,,,, *takes shoutodabi n shigadabi n smooshes them together*

idek how that’d work as a dynamic dude I Don’t KnoW LMAO

weirdest pairing

I guess enjidabi?? I think about it from time to time but I dunno how the dynamic would work but. very angsty whatever it is. lots of apology sexy times in my mind’s eye.

Rei

NOTP

n/a - rei is definitely one I will take any ship for.

BROTP

enjirei - I’m doing this out of order so I wrote the explanation on enji’s lmaO see below for details

OTP

oh man otp???? good question,, I’m a v big fan of reishouto tho. gentle mom lovin,,

second choice

rei/inko is also a good one!! something I still think is very cute from my early days in the fandom. just a couple of moms supporting each other and going on cute park dates,,

fluffy pairing

rei/inko is def the fluffiest. however, it can be argued that rei/anybody has good fluff material. rei is so,,,, ethereal lookin???? she looks like a flower or a ghost,, like breeze rustling sheer curtains in an empty sun lit room. gentle on the eyes but hella poignant. I can imagine her bein soft w/ everyone n everyone.

angsty pairing

reitouya. For Sure. rei taking care of her lost eldest who’s finally come home, ya know???? Sobs,,,,,,,, I don’t see shippy content of them ever but reunion fics/art Get Me

poly ship

this one might be a little weird, but inko/rei/mitsuki. I’ve only seen material for it Once but in my head it’s taking the cute mom ships of inko/rei and inko/mitsuki to make the Ultimate Supportive Mom Ship. and maybe masaru is there too supporting this bc I think he’s really good tbh I don’t want him sad or lonely.

weirdest pairing

uhhhhhh,,, idk man probably polyship is the only “Weird”/super rare one. mitsuki ain’t exactly gentle mom:tm: after all, but I think her spice goes well w/ it all, ya know?? inko n rei being gentle and mitsuki being the hype who arranges more fun dates n such for them to all take a cuddle pile nap afterwards,, and you know she’s the hype woman for the trio. 

Enji

NOTP

never met an enji ship I didn’t like tbh. they’re all good and I will fight on that.

BROTP

highkey?? enjirei. I ship em romantically sometimes, but I really like the idea of them divorced and getting other lovers but supporting each other fullheartedly. love that solidarity. like shit I could see them still living together n such but they just. drop the husband/wife shtick and support each other like friends.

OTP

enjishouto!! y’all been knew.

second choice

hawksdeavor is a longstanding fave. we love that fanboy/idol dynamic sm,,

fluffy pairing

oh jeez fluffy,, maybe enji/burnin?? I can see her being very energetic n supportive and being rewarded w/ soft forehead kisses. soft boss crush even if it’s one sided.

angsty pairing

both enjishouto and hawksdeavor provide Wonderful angst. the flavor is Immaculate y’all should try it.

poly ship

enji/the rest of the todofam/hawks/happiness. pls lma o

I am very much an enjibowl enthusiast, can y’all tell?? I just want him Smothered in love sometimes.

weirdest pairing

hmm,, enji/tsukauchi. I saw a doujin for it once and it was Lovely. an absolute crackship, but I love the hero/detective dynamic of toshinori/tsukauchi, but toshinori just doesn’t give it enough Spice in most interps I see. now enji being tsun n aggressive + level headed detective tsukauchi,, that was a tasty doujin for sure.

[xxlovendreamsxx]

halfway across the world. rated k.

A/N: I was going through my WIPs and this was one I had been doing for a zine that I dropped out of. It was almost finished so I thought why not finish it. It fits the prompt for day 1 of our beloved otp month. Also there was supposed to be more but this is just wholesome in its mood and idk what followed would have been way too dramatic so I just put that plot bunny in the garbage. Who knows, I may revisit in another prompt. But for now, here, have this soldier!au drabble. It’s kinda meh but w/e. I just wanted to get the WIP out lol. 

.

It had been five hours since a messenger soldier had arrived at their location to report the sight of Akatsuki heading towards the village they were stationed at, and Sakura was beginning to doubt the validity of the information. She and Sasuke had been immediately sent on lookout duty at the borders of the town, the latter carrying a sniper in case of trouble, while she settled for bringing two handguns and a radio.

To Shikamaru’s calculations, the Akatsuki troop should have been there three hours ago. Sakura wished she had thought of bringing provisions; her mouth had long grown dry by now, and her stomach had hollowed out as well, gurgling with painful growls and beseeching for any type of sustenance.

Running the back over her hand over her sweat-slicked forehead, Sakura exhaled a heavy sigh and tipped her head back against the much cooler wall, tired gaze set on the build of her dark haired teammate. Occupied with the meticulous cleaning of his gun, Sasuke took a few moments to notice her staring, black eyes sliding to her in question. A lopsided smile tugged at her mouth just for that.

“I’m hungry, Sasuke-kun,” she said simply, the slightest hint of complaint in her tone. “Do you have anything edible by any chance? Like an apple? Some salted peanuts? I’d take anything at this point, seriously. My stomach feels like it’s eating itself.”

Sasuke cocked his head a little, eyes full of mirth as he watched her for a moment. But then he nodded, reaching for a pouch inside his military vest. Sakura practically jumped forward in excitement.

“It’s probably not in good shape,” he said, as he pulled out a protein bar and bent towards her to hand her the snack. Too eager, Sakura snatched it out of his grasp, eyes so wild with hunger that she just barely missed the way his lips twitched in return. “…But then again, it looks like you don’t care about that.”

Fiddling with the wrapping with so-hungry-she-was-clumsy fingers, Sakura giggled and stuck her tongue out at him, giddy from his light teasing.

“Honestly, it could be ten years old right now and I still wouldn’t care,” she said, taking a ravenous bite from the nut-filled bar and finding herself utterly unable to hold back her satisfied moan.

Quickly, she devoured the rest, paying no mind to how Sasuke cleared his throat, focused solely instead on relishing every little bite she could get. She turned to look at him with the most brilliant smile when she was done, eyes gleaming even brighter when she found him there, still cleaning his gun with one hand while the other was outstretched towards her with a half-filled bottle of water.

“You’re my absolute favorite person in the world, did you know that?” Sakura said, grinning as she took the offered drink, taking a few deep swigs. She wasn’t sated in the least, but at least both her hunger and thirst had been quenched a bit now, and that was all she could ask for.

Sasuke’s lips twitched again. He merely nodded in return. “Don’t mention it.”

Letting her head fall back against the wall once more, Sakura let out a long, deep sigh, content. She closed her eyes.

“…I can’t wait to go back home,” she murmured after a moment, grin fading into a small, pleased smile. From the way she was sitting, she could feel some of the sun’s almost-too-hot beams blaring on her skin from one of the two windows in the room. For a moment, she imagined she was back home, and not in a poor village of a mindlessly hot desert halfway across the world, hanging out on her parent’s back porch on a hot summer day. 

Mm, what she wouldn’t do to get a taste of her father’s divine watermelon lemonade right now.

Sasuke would probably like it too since it wasn’t too sweet, she mused, smiling wider as she cracked one eye open to glimpse at him. She sighed contently again and slipped it back shut.

“I haven’t seen mom and dad in so long,” she went on. “It’s been two years—can you believe that? Mom even says she’s got all my presents stacked in the closet so that I can open them when I get home.”

“You still get presents?” Sasuke asked, sounding completely astonished. Or well, as much as Sasuke could sound astonished, anyway.

Blinking her eyes open once more, Sakura met his gaze, straightened up and grinned. “Yup. Probably always will for as long as I live,” she said, brushing away a sweaty lock of her unbelievably bright hair.

Sasuke’s eyes softened, so much it warmed her heart and left it feeling like goo. She felt her stomach flutter as the look he gave her, so full of awe and pride… and dare she say, even a little envy.

She understood exactly why that was when he murmured, “You have good parents.”

Her smile lessened, giving way to something sadder, more bittersweet. It always hurt to think about how Sasuke no longer had an immediate family; when he was only eight, both his parents died in a car crash, and just a few years ago, his brother had gone MIA in the war. The latter is what had made him decide to enlist, full of hopes that he might one day find his brother.

But every year, those hopes were steadily declining, from what Sakura could sadly discern.

Swallowing the tightness in her throat, she flashed him a sweet smile. “Yeah, they are, aren’t they?” she said. “I’m so glad they decided to support me in the end when I wanted to enlist with you and Naruto. I know it’s hard on them, especially in times like these—and dad wanted so much for me to get a medical degree and work in a hospital, so I know it was especially hard on him. It would have been nice, but I don’t know… my place is with you guys. And I’m glad they came to understand that.” She paused, for a beat. A grin split her lips. “But they are counting on you two to look out for me. Because if anything happens to me, mom says she’ll do you two twice as bad.”

A faint smile pulled at Sasuke’s lips, finally, and he shook his head, undeniably amused. Sakura giggled, heart flipping and pounding away, all too delighted with herself. Making Sasuke smile was always an achievement in her book, especially since his smiles were so far and few these days.

She tucked her hair back again, clasping her hands in her lap a little shyly as they stared at each other. Sakura cleared her throat subtly, but still kept smiling. “They asked about you, you know?” she said.

Brows rising slightly, Sasuke blinked once, twice. “…Really,” he replied, sounding a little dubious.

But that didn’t surprise her; in all these years they’d known each other, Sasuke’s interactions with her parents had always been quite limited—especially since none of their hangouts had ever taken place at Sakura’s home. The most her parents had seen of Sasuke had been when he would pick her up beforehand or drop her home afterwards. The last time they had seen each other was two years ago at the airport, right before they were going back to the military base to be deployed, and they had hardly exchanged words.

It was only natural that Sasuke would assume they simply didn’t know each other enough for them to genuinely care about him.

Her smile shifted to something gentler. Silly man.

“Yeah. They did,” she said. “They said they worry about you, sometimes. Said you looked… lonely.”

(“he’s got practically no meat on his bones since he left—honestly, sakura, are you sure he’s even eating? poor boy looks like a lost, famished puppy. do i need to send him one of my care packages?”)

Lip curling at the corner at the memory, she set her attention on Sasuke again, heart buzzing with warmth at the sight of him, jaw slackened and eyes just barely widened. He was clearly stunned.

Eyes crinkling too happily, Sakura grinned at him and shifted to firmly nudge his thigh with her boot. “I told them you’re not, obviously,” she declared, winking teasingly. “Not with us around.”

Sasuke’s lips quirked, gaze melting again; looking so fond, so tender—so impossibly at peace. Gods, how she loved him so.

“Hm. How could I be?” he replied, eyes gleaming, teasing. “Naruto’s a loud idiot, Kakashi won’t stop lecturing me about the road of life, and you never leave my side.”

Her green eyes widened. That little—

Bursting into laughter, Sakura shook her head, throwing the not quite finished water bottle at his head. Sasuke caught it, but she kept laughing, wrapping her arms around herself as she shook and grinned and giggled.

Sasuke was smiling again when she stopped a short minute later, and Sakura heart flopped for the umpteenth time that day. She smiled back, feeling so full. Complete.

She made a silly face. “Oh, you’d be dead without me and you know it, Sasuke-kun,” she teased. And that was true.

Gaze flashing with some playfulness, Sasuke huffed, “So would you.” That was true, too.

Maybe when they would both go back home, she could finally tell him how she felt.

.

.

.

“Hey, Sasuke-kun?”

“What would you do if we were back home right now?”

“….Tomatoes.”

Laugh. “What, really? You’re so weird!”

“Tch. Yeah, whatever.”

[bthump]

What is your favorite, most dark/twisted griffguts scenario/hc/au or whatever?

dark and twisted eh? lol this is a question and a half. advance warning for a mention of consent issues.

This is a fic idea I’ve considered writing but gave up on pretty quickly bc I didn’t think I could do it justice lol. And also I never finish anything and this is a novel’s worth of material.

AU where the behelit is an ordinary apostle behelit, and also Guts’ instead of Griffith’s. It opens at pretty much the exact same time, after the rescue, when Guts sees Griffith attempt suicide and it hits him that it’s all his fault. He destroyed Griffith and there’s no way to fix this, no one to kill to make it better, he threw away the only thing he’s ever wanted.

So the Raiders followed him down to the lake, Casca and the rest of the Hawks stayed behind, and the behelit opens. Guts ends up sacrificing the Raiders for ~the power to fix his mistake~ and becomes a monster with magic healing abilities. Because I figure that if you’re not sacrificing the person you actually love most, then you need to compensate with quantity lol, and after all the Raiders were the example, alongside Griffith, of “the place [Guts] belonged,” which should count for something.

So the result of this is you got Beast of Darkness Guts who is basically fixated on Griffith. You got a Griffith who spent a year of torture thinking about Guts and realizing he’s desperately in love with him and is thus fixated on Guts. He’s also fully healed and has a super powerful monster under his command so he’s obligated to go back to pursuing his dream in some form or another.

The situation is Griffith as an unstoppable warlord leading an army that grows and grows as dissatisfied peasants join him and others see the way the wind is blowing and join him to back the right horse, and strikes fear into the hearts of nobility until he eventually takes Midland by force (which is doable bc it’s weakened by a century long war and also an insane king). He’s embracing his “cruelty” and doing whatever it takes to attain his dream which means stuff like executing nobles and whatever to send a message and strike first with fear and intimidation. He’s more distanced from the Hawks than he was pre-torture. His image is scary and ruthless and powerful.

On the flipside he’s super traumatized and emotionally vulnerable, like lbr he’s got complex ptsd and he’s devastatingly emotionally reliant on an apostle boyfriend which in no way helps, not to mention the issues he already had pre-torture like guit and self-loathing. And the whole point is that contrast. Like Griffith ordering fortresses to be burnt and razed to the ground vs Griffith being unable to sit too close to a campfire because sometimes the radiating heat gives him panic attacks. Griffith fighting effectively at the head of an army vs Griffith losing his grasp on the present in the dark and forgetting he’s not in a torture chamber. Part of why Griffith is more removed from the Hawks now is to keep these vulnerabilities hidden.

And wrt Guts and ~dark and twisted~ griffguts content, Griffith commanding a literal monster in battle vs Griffith, eg, never once saying “no” to him in bed bc he’s low key afraid Guts wouldn’t stop, both due to his own trauma and Guts being monstery, and he’d rather just never let that situation come up. Like, loving and needing Guts but being afraid of him after the apostle transformation, and denying that fear to himself. And it could vary. Sometimes being with Guts would be perfect, everything he wants, emotional and physical fulfillment, and sometimes it would pretty much be a form of self-harm. Sometimes he would crave sex and sometimes it would trigger him. Sometimes everything at once. That kind of thing.

And like lbr we’ve seen his inner darkness, Guts as an apostle would be a nightmare. He wouldn’t care about anyone except Griffith, possibly to the point of low key being a threat to the rest of the Hawks, and he’d be extremely possessive and needy. I don��t think he’d be like, completely out of control like the armour makes him, but I feel like his judgement would be shot, his impulse control would be shot, he’d have way more casual asshole tendencies a la Black Swordsman Guts (or even his imo insufferable cockiness post-vacation). He’d still have that eagerness to please wrt Griffith tho, so he wouldn’t be completely beyond Griffith’s control. He’d obey orders, at least to the same extent he did as an ordinary human lol, and he wouldn’t do anything to threaten Griffith’s image, his control and leadership over the rest of the Hawks, like insubordination or w/e. He likes the idea of Griffith being feared, and of being the only one (give or take Casca, probably) to see the vulnerable side of him. And he likes the idea of Griffith needing him to achieve his dream as well as needing him emotionally.

Like, in chapter 71 Guts basically realized that his desire to become Griffith’s equal by finding a dream of his own was stupid and doomed from the start, so I don’t think Griffith pursuing his dream again while he has no goals himself would bother him because now he knows how important he is to Griffith. And also I imagine post-torture Griffith would be willing and able to tell him that he values him over the dream. Even shares that it feels like an obligation to him. Like after that torture chamber monologue it’s easy to see him being more emotionally forthcoming with Guts, more revealing, more self-aware, at least in some ways.

They would both relish the sheer intensity of the others’ feelings for him, but Griffith would be afraid of his own feelings, how vulnerable they make him, and he’d be afraid of Guts’ literal monstrosity, both rationally because he’s a big undefeatable obsessive monster, and irrationally because apostles instill instinctive fear in humans. (That instinctive fear as symbolic of Griffith’s intense life-ruining feelings esp post-torture might be interesting tbh.) Guts would be afraid of Griffith hating him or growing indifferent, but as an apostle that would manifest in clinginess and possessiveness and a constant craving for proof of Griffith’s feelings. And for Griffith’s part he could take advantage of that in manipulative ways. Like I love the idea of an intense toxic relationship where the life-ruining feelings between them are occasionally weaponized by both.

Oh and you also got Griffith’s self loathing and guilt, and the knowledge that Guts became a monster entirely because of him, to help him, plus he rescued and healed him, and so he’d also be torn between feeling like he doesn’t deserve Guts, and feeling like he deserves Guts but in a penitent way, esp if he feels responsible for his monsterism, which he would whether that’s rational or not. Plus also feeling like Guts, as a monster who sacrificed a bunch of his friends to become one and now wreaks havoc in battle, is the only person who can understand him. “Do you think I’m cruel?” “What kind of question is that for the guy who killed a hundred men?” writ large. All the emotional dysfunctionality implied in that exchange taken to 100.

Griffith getting more ruthless and fucked up and taking comfort in a fucked up relationship with a literal monster as he pursues his dream. “You’re rough enough to share this with to the end.” Griffith in part relishing Guts’ monstrosity because it means they’re in this together. They’ll be together because who else would want them? Like a dark contrast to a happy Golden Age AU where Guts tells Griffith how he really sees him and it’s a step towards emotional healing and self love and whatever, this would be Griffith hating himself and being comforted by the thought that Guts is down in the dark with him. Dragging each other down instead of lifting each other up, yk.

(Guts tells Griffith he doesn’t regret it. This applies to both becoming a monster for Griffith’s sake, and leaving in the first place and all the destruction that caused, since it eventually led to both of them getting everything they’ve ever wanted. A kingdom, the Hawks, each other, everything worked out perfectly. Right?)

Also you have Casca and the rest of the Hawks for that excellent outsider/disturbed onlooker pov. Casca’s got her close relationship with both as well as her protectiveness of Griffith. Judeau’s got his detached perceptive observation. Corkus has his outrage and resentment. All good potential perspectives on this imo. Like eg imagine Corkus sowing discord by pointing out that they have no reason to trust Guts esp now that he’s a literal monster since he’s not even a Hawk after abandoning them, and they can’t even trust Griffith to keep him in line because lbr Griffith already fucked them all over once because of Guts.

Idk how it would end though. Something fucked up. Like say Griffith achieves the dream, settles into ruling, the realization that he only hates himself more than ever eventually creeps up on him, and he ends up goading Guts into killing him, like an impulsive and somewhat subconscious act of suicide. Guts becomes Zodd 2.0, wandering battlefields, looking for someone strong enough to take him out. Or maybe just living miserably ever after as Griff sets his sights on an empire (bc he can’t stop, bc as soon as he stops that’s akin to declaring that this end is worth all the deaths and pain and etc on the road to it, and nothing’s actually worth that, so he’s trapped and it sucks) would be a nice anticlimactic ending. Yk, something depressing.

Like overall it would be a giant trainwreck with extreme contrasts wrt power dynamics and emotions, which is basically my favourite kind of thing. Like there are definitely way more straightfoward ways to get dark and edgy griffguts lmao, like about a million post-Eclipse scenarios, but still it’s probably my favourite of the darker ideas I’ve had.

I just love the idea of post-torture Griffith + apostle Guts lol they’d be like the epitome of dysfunctional yet inseparable, and it’s a great starting point for compounding all of Griffith’s canon issues and exploring them.

[ihearvoicesinmyhead]

do that oc meme for seth :3

♥ (01) Is your OC in love? If so, with whom, and for how long?

Yes, Seth is in love w/ Mordan, the love of his life n_n He met him when he and his band were first starting out, and while Seth was closeted at the time he develops feelings for Mordan and they eventually get together and have been together ever since :3

♥ (02) Does another OC love your OC? If so, whom, and does your OC know?

Lol Mordan loves Seth too, although Seth’s dense ass didn’t realize it at first. But now he’s thankful every day someone as perfect as Mordan could love him.

♥ (03) Are there any romantic gestures that your OC loves?

I think what Seth doesn’t want to admit is he likes to feel spoiled, but in more subtle ways than what he’d probably show towards Mordan. Like he appreciates when Mordan cooks for him, or tells him he loves him while they’re cuddling on the couch all night lol If Mordan insists on buying him things he’s glad it’s things like clothes where he can fuss over him the whole time picking out outfits for him to try on and shit... At the end of the day he’s but a simple man w/ simple pleasures and just likes feeling spoiled by Mordan’s love and attention.

♥ (04) Are there any romantic gestures that your OC hates?

It’s hard to think of anything Seth wouldn’t like that Mordan could do for him, he probably wouldn’t like big ostentatious dates on his behalf (mainly bc he wants to be the one planning them to spoil Mordan)…

♥ (05) What is the most romantic thing your OC has done for someone else?

Lol Seth tried to go all out w/ the marriage proposal, but now he’s always trying to top himself bc he can’t let that be his big defining romantic moment w/ Mordan now that they’ve been married for years now.

♥ (06) What is the most romantic thing that has been done for your OC?

Lol honestly he swears anything Mordan does for him is the most romantic thing ever

♥ (07) How successful is your OC at flirting with others?

Well I’d like to think so lmao... but he was kind of a fuckboy back in the day so idk

♥ (08) What is your OC’s dream marriage proposal?

Haha, Seth slaves away planning his proposal to Mordan and is determined to make it perfect. He spends too long deciding on a ring, dragging Mordan’s friends into it making sure it’s the right style and everything. He’ll never admit how much he spent on it (but it’s a lot).

But as for the night, I like to imagine he insists on going to the same place they had their first date, and then pops the question while they’re taking a walk in the nearby park afterwards. It’s like, Christmas Eve too so there’d be pretty lights and decorations to set a Mood. Obvs when the time comes Seth’s nervous as shit, but he’s over the moon when they’re engaged and is casually heart eyes over his new fiancé all of Christmas Day.

♥ (09) What is your OC’s favorite small way to show their love?

Seth really likes writing little love notes and lyrics for Mordan early in the morning while Mordan’s still sleeping. Just a good way to spend the time waiting for Mordan to wake up while also getting his inspiration going lol

He’s written so many songs for and about Mordan too, just his ~muse~ who deserves to be eternalized in his music lol

♥ (10) What is your OC’s favorite big way to show their love?

Lol Seth isn’t really shy about showing his love, just always grabbing him for kisses and cuddles... He’s a big believer in PDA and wants everyone to see how much he loves his husband basically. He really likes treating him to fancy meals at Mordan’s favorite restaurants and stuff too....

♥ (11) What do others love most about your OC?

Probably that he’s a hot buff dude but also dumb puppy idk

♥ (12) What do you love most about your OC?

Lmao he’s my finely tailored oc who’ve I had since like, 2007… He’s changed a lot and grown w/ me so I really appreciate how he’s gone from an edgy boi to soft buff dream man… He’s just rly hot and I appreciate his personality to go with it, esp since we’ve developed our ocs together w/ meth so they’re actually… the best couple ever? like couple goals, could not date bc they’ve set such a high precedent for me sdgdfs Oh Well :)

♥ (13) How does your OC show their love to those that are not their partner(s)?

Basically Seth isn’t going to show you much affection unless you’re close family, and even then his love is mainly reserved for Mordan lol... He likes buying them gifts and things when he visits tho, and appreciates helping his parents/brother any way he can

♥ (14) Does your OC have any romantic traditions?

God idk specifically what this question wants from me but I’m sure they do!!!

♥ (15) What is your OC’s favorite type of Valentine’s Day candy?

Honestly Seth is more content with eating Mordan’s rejects than getting candy of his own. He’s not the biggest chocolate fan, but he’ll obvs take any that Mordan decides to hand feed him lol (if he had a preference tho, I think he’d like the mocha/coffee filling ones the most)

♥ (16) What is your OC’s ideal first date?

Seth would like to think he likes fun simple first dates, like bowling or seeing a movie... but then he meets Mordan who’s all Classy and he lowkey likes the fancy vibes too

♥ (17) Could your OC fall in love with someone they’ve never met in person?

No I don’t think so lol (unless it’s Mordan in some kind of pen pal au)

♥ (18) Does your OC have a “type”?

Skinny bitches lmao… He likes people on the taller side, usually with lighter hair and light eyes. He’s not really aware of it, but he usually goes for the ones who are sassy bitches too

♥ (19) How highly does your OC value love (platonic, romantic, or otherwise)?

Seth wasn’t someone who’s been into the idea of “love”, and basically swore he’d never settle down. But then he meets Mordan and everything changes and suddenly he’s high on love and can’t get enough lol

♥ (20) How does your OC feel about public displays of affection?

He thinks very highly of it... just a combo of wanting everyone to know he’s w/ Mordan + can’t go five minutes w/o putting his hands on Mordan either lol

♥ (21) Does your OC believe in love at first sight?

Lol kind of... he swears it was love at first sight w/ Mordan since he sensed a “spark” between them, but he also spent the first year of their friendship being an oblivious closeted asshole so what’s the real answer here

♥ (22) How often does your OC read romantic literature?

Uhh, never lol... He doesn’t really like to read, but he likes when Mordan gives him plot rundowns of the trashy romance novels he’ll read sometimes bc they’re entertaining at least

♥ (23) What is your OC’s favorite nice thing to do for themselves?

Lmao eating..... But he also likes working out and going to the gym, he also enjoys going out for hikes/camping whenever he can bc he really likes being out in nature...

♥ (24) How does your OC determine that they’re attracted to someone?

He’s pretty shallow so he needs the physical attraction... I’d like to think he takes personality immediately into account too, but... well -.-

♥ (25) Does your OC believe in soulmates?

Yes lol

♥ (26) Is your OC ever the first to say “I love you”?

Lol yes... he’s got the unfiltered thoughts and it basically just pops out suddenly I’m sure

♥ (27) How does your OC typically spend their Valentine’s Day?

Lol just wanting to spoil Mordan the whole day... I think he goes out of his way to get a big ass bouquet of flowers and chocolates and then the two of them going out to dinner or s/t nice that night

♥ (28) What is something unconventional that your OC thinks is romantic?

Lol that his husband is a demon but decided to settle down and marry him?

♥ (29) What is your OC’s favorite love song?

Your Song by Elton John

♥ (30) What is your OC’s favorite romantic movie?

Lol me like “does top gun count?”

[morethanonepage]

2017 Fic Roundup Meme

Total Fics Posted: Nine. Ooof. 

Total Words Posted: 44041

Total Words (of Anything Excluding Blogs) Written: Man I don’t even know how I’d count this -- I’ve written at least ten briefs for work and those are usually between 2 - 5 pages, and I write a lot of WIPs that I don’t end up posting. So I mean it’s probably in the 100,000 range but the majority of that (obviously) is either not fandom related or not likely to see the light of day as publicly consumable or both.

My favorite fic story this year: greenwood -- written as part of an AU meme and so so random -- Maurice-AUs are hardly a fandom trope y’know -- but man that’s one I wish I could commit to writing more of. I love Maurice (both the film and the book) so much and I love John/Chas so much as a pairing that I just kind of forced it to work, and I think it mostly did. But it’s just too far from the Constantine premise to be worth expanding, beyond just for the gimmick. Like as a historical AU I feel like I’d have to incorporate some magic nonsense to it and it wouldn’t be impossible but ugh, plots. Better to leave them in that nice, tender moment with all the possibilities before them. My one regret for it was that I got a little fade-to-black about the sex (not true in the initial conception and I did a little draft of some more explicit from Chas’ POV) but in the end I felt like I’d written too much porn lately (and was trying to be in keeping with the aesthetic of the original story), so.

My best story this year: Adrift -- I’ve re-read it to myself a bunch of times, and I just genuinely enjoyed working through it and figuring out the relationship dynamics and possibilities and putting in references to so many well established headcanons of mine. And John’s SUCH an unreliable narrator/POV character that I always have a great time trying to write him as clearly feeling SOMETHING while he’s pretending he doesn’t. And idk it’s just one of my top pairings ever and I was glad to finally devote myself to writing a nice, slow developing relationship fic with just the two of them working their shit out. 

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  Honestly at this point, given that I’m writing almost entirely John/Chas fics, and otherwise for very niche pairings, I think any appreciation my fics get is a miracle. Though I do kind of wish I’d written Adrift in the Constantine fandom’s hey-day, because it’s a chaptered developing relationship fic and those are hard to come by and I feel weird saying it’s great but it’s solid and got really good reactions from people who did read it, and I’m proud of that. 

Also I’m not as proud of blended cotton with gannex twill, in terms of its actual quality (I’m not sure the POV shifts quite work as well as I wanted them to) but it took me SO LONG to finish it and it was such a goofy premise that I’m really glad I did, and again I’m a little sad some of the early-day Constantine people didn’t get a chance to read it when I first started goofing around about the possibility of a sentient trenchcoat.

I’m also kind of surprised a reasonable amount of trouble was the least popular of the historic AUs I wrote -- I joked that I didn’t really know what noir was but I think it was close enough and I tried to set a (vaguely angsty) mood of both yearning but inevitable dissatisfaction to it. Maybe I didn’t go gritty enough with it? That tends to be my flaw for any Hellblazer related stuff, admittedly -- I can’t quite commit to the bleakness I know it merits.

Sexiest Story:  Adrift has a lot of sex in it (IT’S NECESSARY TO THE PLOT, she said, not at all defensively), which was described with a fair amount of detail, and then I backed up to more subtle depictions b/c I thought all that sex stuff would get boring. There’s also a lot of John telling himself he’s pretty meh on the sex itself. So I feel like the sexiness of it was kind of neutered by it being so much about the plot (like, the shifts of what they actually get up to were to represent emotional shifts in how they were feeling about each other). Which at least made it less sexy for me to write, anyway.

I got good feedback about The (Shamelessly Indulgent) Sex Chapter in blended cotton with gannex twill [which was somewhat necessary b/c I wanted to get all manner of bodily fluids on the coat b/c in my vague headcanon/justification that’s what actively pushes it into true sentience but--], but honestly I think my truly sexiest fic of the year is mages against literacy -- to the point I was actively embarrassed writing it, and didn’t read it again for months after I posted it, and then went back and was like “w o w”.

Most fun story:  blended cotton with gannex twill. TRENCHIE NO! TRENCHIE YES.

Also a boy with a thorn in his side is....fun for me and a few very specific people, probably. I wrote another high school AU Star Wars fic in 2016 that was way more fun and goofy and idealistic -- it’s called the id fic for a reason -- but if the id fic was what I wish high school had been like for me, ABWATIHS is -- what high school was, tbh. I mean not precisely, but Cassian’s EMOTIONS and his inability to deal with them was #relatable. I wrote it so fast, mostly because I was so intrigued by the possibilities of it and the headcanons I came up with for it, which I’m still really fond of. Like if I were to ever write original fic, I’d file off the serial numbers and make a go of it there.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: In Good Faith wasn’t, in my opinion, a great fic -- I wrote it too quickly and without enough of a reason beyond ‘someone asked for it’, and some parts were very derivative -- but I did work through some things with it, about Kes and Shara’s potential relationship history, and about what Shara’s flaws might be and what her life was like and why she and Kes work so well together. Not a lot of which actually came out in the fic IMO, but at least I had that going on in my head. 

Hardest story to write: partly mors et fugacem persequitur virum, because I didn’t remember nearly as much about Roman history as I thought I did (and what was I going to do, research??? [I did do some but none of it is actually like -- visible in the fic], and I was overconfident about my ability to make it work and still be in IC. I’m.....still not sure if I didn’t fail on one or both of those accounts.

Also I wrote Anything Can Happen (On Halloween) for no fucking reason other than because I wanted to post the 100th fic in the John/Chas tag (I EARNED THISSS) and I think it shows. Again I wrote it too quickly (in about a week?? ridiculous), I was too nervous about someone else posting something else as the 100th fic instead of me and that my hardwork would’ve GONE TO WASTE wah wah wah anyway the ending was boring and I still feel guilty about it not being very good.  Biggest surprise: Anything Can Happen (On Halloween) was actually surprisingly (to me) well received -- like it got very quick positive reactions and idk why since I’m still genuinely embarrassed by it -- I mean I don’t think it’s a bad fic but it’s rushed and clunky and not terribly original.  A story I want remembered:  Someone on twitter said that Adrift made them ship John/Chas and honestly that’s all I want for it -- that and for the people who keep coming to the lil’ Constantine fandom that there is and go looking for fic find it and read it and at least kind of understand why some rando keeps flooding the tag with John/Chas nonsense. 

Resolutions for 2018: This has been a very John/Chas year for me and while I’m mostly okay with that, I do want to at least try to make my way back to finnpoe again -- I’m working on a bigbang fic so I desperately want to finish that (it’s outlined and everything and I think it may end up being one of my most personal fics) but we’ll see -- Star Wars fandom continues to push me away, and I won’t be able to post it until May, which is rough for someone like me, who depends so much on positive attention. There’s also a bunch of DamFam things I want to explore, especially now. 

I also want to keep writing the John/Chas but I want to stop feeling so embarrassed about it -- like so what that it was so long ago, people are still into it! Every few weeks or so I get someone on tumblr clearly going through my John/Chas tag, anyway. So at least I will have/still have some readers for that nonsense. 

I want to be better about prompts people give me -- I try to set expectations at the floor level for these things but I do genuinely like writing things for people, at least partly b/c I’m terrible at coming up with ideas on my own, so I want to try harder to fill memes and such. 

And idk maybe I’d like to find another ship that I like, that’s not from a dead show, where the fandom isn’t the worst. DARE TO DREAM (the impossible dream).

[writerly-love]

Work Relationship (Oneshot)

Genre: Fluff, Teacher!AU

Word Count: 1,987

Summary: You always told yourself you would never date anyone you worked with, but then Jin came along and well now you were telling yourself that less and less. Darn this beautiful man and his cute hand kisses. 

A/N: Cute teacher Jin has been on my mind all day and I loved it so much I wrote a thousand words aldjfhalkjdfhk drabble my ass idk what the ending is but i had to end it quick because i was getting tired and i wanted to finish it tonight sorry

“Teacher! Is Mr. Kim you boyfriend!” A little hand shoots in the air and asks the question without being called on. You were used to this because the students in your class did this often but that was okay because they were young and didn’t follow directions that well. The actual question is what actually surprised you.

“What? No! Who told you that?” 

“He did.” 

Your bright teacher smile almost slipped off your face. That little sneak! How dare he tell your cute little students he was dating you! I mean you kind of were. You only went on one date so you wouldn’t really call it dating. You didn’t even know if you would really call it a date. Did he think it was a date? Even if he did, why did your students need to know!

You smiled at your students before directing your gaze to the door across the hall, where Jin was currently teaching his students. You glared and hoped he could feel it through the door. You students called for your attention again so you tore your eyes away to go to them. Jin stayed on your mind though. 

Ever since you started working in general you made sure to not get in any work relationships that weren’t friendships because things like that can be messy. Then this year came along and so did Kim Seokjin. He was cute and funny, even with those dad jokes he told at teacher’s meetings and when you guys were in the teacher’s lounge. You guys warmed up to each other and got to know each other quickly. You found yourself liking him a little more than you thought you should and next thing you know he asks if you want to go eat with him. He didn’t explicitly say it was a date but you went out to his favorite restaurant that you enjoyed and the atmosphere was so good it really felt like one. 

Ever since then Kim Seokjin was constantly on your mind and he really was giving you conflicting feelings. 

After helping students for a few more minutes you left them to work and you sat at your desk with a sigh and began to look at your papers, trying to focus on anything besides the handsome teacher across the hall.

“Miss [Y/N]!”

It was a familiar voice and your head shot up immediately to meet eyes with the handsome teacher from across the hall that you were trying so hard not to think about. He always has the worst timing. All of your students looked from him to you with that sneaky smile on their faces. This was the worst.

You gave them all a look that made them giggle and focus back on their papers. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I talk to you in the hall for a second?” 

“Yeah sure.” 

As you walked across the room to the door you could hear the collective giggles of the class and their eyes that followed your back as you passed them. You really wanted to giggle with them because they were just so cute but very nosey. When you got to the door you turned to them with a raised eyebrow and a smile. “Keep working you guys!”

“Yes Miss!” They giggled and went back to their assignment. 

You followed Jin into the hall a little ways away from your door so small ears wouldn’t hear and you glared lightly at him. “Did you tell my students we were dating?” 

“No! I-I mean Yes? Are we?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Well if you don’t know then I don’t know.” 

“Ugh This would be so much easier if you weren’t so great and cute!” You groaned and closed your eyes as you rubbed your hands down your face. 

You could practically feel the cheesy grin on Jin’s face as much as you tried to ignore it. When you opened your eyes you were right, the cheesy grin that was irritatingly cute was there and you almost cursed yourself for finding it so cute. 

“You fell for my amazing looks and great jokes didn’t you?” 

“I didn’t fall for anything, I.........tripped.” 

“So you’re in the process of falling.” 

You laughed in disbelief of yourself and Jin, this situation was just ridiculous why couldn’t you just let yourself give in this once and date him? Sure you had your doubts about a romantic work relationship and you know if it ended wrong things could get awkward and messy but Jin is a good guy and you like him a lot. You’re pretty sure he likes you too but what would you do if he doesn’t like you as much as you think he does? 

“W-We should get back to our classes I feel like I’ve been out of the room for too long. Theres no telling what they're up to.” You decided to escape now and talk later. It’ll give you a little more time to think about the situation. 

“Yeah, we can talk after school when we don’t have our students to worry about. Also I originally came over to ask if you had anymore copies of the language worksheet. I ran out.” 

“Oh yeah! I have some let me get those for you.” You ran back into the classroom a bit embarrassed that you turned what was supposed to be a work thing into a personal thing in the middle of the day. Jin didn’t seem to be bothered by it but it just added on to your worries. 

As the day dragged on you would catch his eye in the hallways as you took your students to different activities and during recess you were hit with more of his jokes and dad humor and it was like your worries were never there. He made you feel so at peace it really made you think that maybe something between you guys could work out. Even if this was the dreaded work romance this just might be different. Well at least you hoped it would be. You just had to learn how to keep personal things separate from work things so the embarrassment you felt earlier wouldn’t make a comeback. 

During the last of class as you were walking around the classroom looking around for students who might need help on assignments you couldn’t help but to look over at the classroom across the hall. There Jin stood at the back of his class obscuring as well and his eyes met yours. He smiled and lifted his hand to  his lips and gave you the most dramatic hand kiss you’ve ever seen.

If you could’ve laughed loudly at that moment you would, but to keep your cool in front of both your students and Jin you giggled and pretended to grab the blown kiss before walking away. Proud of yourself for keeping cool, you walked back to your desk confidently. 

“Miss [Y/N] are you flirting?” One of your students piped, causing the rest of them to burst into flurries of laughter. 

You almost choked at the question. “Everyone calm down! Back to your work please we need to finish before the end of the day! And please, no more question about Miss [Y/N]’s personal life!” 

The class giggled again, flustering you further as you buried your head in a pile of papers on your desk. Having your students curious about your personal life was definitely not keeping your work life and personal life separate. You and Jin were going to have to do a better job of flirting secretly if you didn’t want the whole school to know about your relationship. Your students somehow knew before you even knew you were in a relationship. Until the end of the day you really wouldn’t be sure if you were in one. 

Finally it was the end of the school day. You had walked your class out to their parents and various modes of transportation and had began to tidy up your desk to leave for the day. Today you weren’t going to leave right away you still had to talk to Jin. 

He walked into the classroom as you were piling papers you needed to grade into your tote bag. Your heart thumped wildly against your chest as he approached with his friendly smile that you loved. “Hey.” He greeted first and you smiled at him.

“Hi Mr. Blows-kiss-in-the-middle-of-class-so-all-my-students-see-and-tease-me, how was your day?” 

Jin laughed at your response as he hopped on your desk beside you as you tidied up and made sure you had everything. “My students teased me too! I was the one who blew the kiss and you saw how I did it, they wouldn’t stop copying me for the rest of the day!” 

You joined his laughter as you pictured the kids blowing kisses dramatically every five minutes and an embarrassed Jin probably laughed with them even if he was flustered. “I have to admit you had it rougher then, all my students did was accuse me of flirting with you in class.”

“They weren’t wrong.” 

“Yes they were! You were the one blowing me kisses!”

“You caught them.” 

“.....Well you got me there.” 

The both of you laughed again as you finally finished packing up and Jin jumped down from your desk. You paused before leaving the classroom for the conversation you’ve been waiting for all day. “So....I have an answer for you from earlier.” You started and faced Jin so you could look him in the eye. 

Jin stepped forward so the two of you were a bit closer. It was a comfortable distance but you were still afraid that he was close enough to hear your heart beat in this empty classroom because it was quiet enough you were sure he could hear the faintest noise. 

“If you want to be together I would be happy to be your girlfriend.” 

A  bright smile spread on Jin’s face as he scooped you into a surprise hug that makes you laugh. “I’m so glad you said yes! I thought you were going to say no and that air kiss was going to be an embarrassing mistake and all the flirting I’ve done was also going to be a mistake.” 

“Well lets hope this non-mistake turns into something great.” 

“Of course it will! We’ll make sure of it. I want this relationship to last because I really like you [Y/N]” He pulled away from you slightly so he could look at you and you saw the sincerity in his eyes. Being in his embrace and sharing this moment with him like this made the butterflies in your stomach flutter like mad but you were just so comfortable in his arms. The way he was looking at you made you want to be closer to him maybe even share a kiss but as he leaned in closer in hopes of that very thing you stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“No PDA in school.” 

“[Y/N]!”

You burst into laughter as you picked up your purse and tote bag and motioned for him to follow you out of the classroom. “We may be able to flirt a little as long as the students aren’t watching but no PDA in school! Even after school hours! Do you know how embarrassing it would be for one of the other teachers to catch us!” 

“Its just a kiss! No one else is here!” 

“Jin!”

“Okay okay!”

The two of you walked side by side as you maneuvered your way through the calls and out of the school to your cars. 

“Lets go get something to eat somewhere where I know we won’t run into our coworkers or students. I want to have good food and a good time with my girlfriend.” 

[adhdvane]

Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.