#paracosm: the light

[solannecontinuum]

Cover piece for ILLUSTRATION DIARY VOL. 2 (my second Ohuhu A4 hardcover marker sketchbook!). Awakened on 27 NOVEMBER 2021.

This was sketched and partially rendered two years ago, but it was only recently that I was able to finish it. I had to keep faithful to how I rendered at the time to preserve the "documentation", as it were, to how things were at the time period I did this. That is why Kidde is there instead of Starscream, as this was before the concept of Husbands were fully realized ... but I knew that Wayne Hylics and Elder-kun were beyond just simple husbando crushes at that point! ♥ And that I had a special bond with Kidde.

[thatgirlsboring]

How do I make my life look and feel like this

[nexus-nebulae]

installed a hawk screen over the rats' forest clearing in headspace so we don't get another hawk attack 👍

[divine-knight-hand]

When I split my paracosm’s timeline into “sagas” and realize that the longest one (at least, for now) is when everyone went to war… ❤️‍🔥

[eldeque]

Some stuff happened heres a 19 yr old Clare :)

Wanted to experiment with colored lighting and during the process I decided to make the purple light into cop car lights :D

[sordidmorbid]

going to make individual profiles for the rest of my oc groups because doing gigantic group pictures makes my brain melt

[mercuriousnitrate]

YOU REBLOGGED THE MADD ASK GAME SO IM HERE RAAAHHHH

1 and 2 (・ε・)

YAYYY HIII

ohh these are such good ones uhmmm let me think!!!

how long have you been daydreaming for? (bonus if you can remember: what was your first daydream scenario/paracosm?) i was always pretty lonely as a kid, i think i've been daydreaming as long as i can remember. if i had to guess i'd say my oldest paracosm was probably pokemon related? i feel like i have vague memories of a pokemon paraself that was... half pokemon half human... 💀 and then the second oldest one i can remember is for SURE creepypasta mansion LOL. that one i remember very clearly. my paraself was 6ft tall... (i ended up only getting to 5'0 😭)

if your paracosm had a popular fandom, what do you think it'd be like? THIS IS A TOUGH ONE... my current paracosm takes place in a big, highkey evil academy for the most part, most of the adults are terrible people, and the students are all pitted against one another. i imagine that a fandom would probably have some crazy discourse about the character dynamics, problematic favs, and wild misinterpretation of core character traits LOL. just like most big fandoms. i'd hope they'd at least spend an equal amount of time making up freak headcanons about the female cast, but i know in my heart of hearts that people would not only focus way too hard on the male staff, but also mischaracterize my main para as a gay boy when they're actually a lesbian 😭 like let them toxic yuri in peace (however there is an equal amount of toxic yuri And toxic yaoi going on in my brain 🙏 peace and love)

[bellaxgiornata]

Life Worth Living |Chapter Three|

Pairing: Matt x mutant!fem!Reader Word count: 5k [Series Masterlist] [Matt Murdock Masterlist]

tags/warnings: 18+; dark themes/content, canon typical violence, emotional hurt/comfort, PTSD, smut, plot twists, fluff and angst, torture, mentions of sexual abuse, canon divergence, Reader has a fake name & is Matt's neighbor

a/n: Finally a chapter that gives y'all a little breath from all the suspense. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Tag list: @kmc1989 @let-it-go-and-live-again @paracosmic-murdock @fries11 @thetorturedpoetcalleddez @frenchtoastix @1988-fiend @daisy-the-quake @energerstar @lilianashomaresparza

Unlocking the deadbolt and the door lock on your apartment door, you reluctantly swung it open to find your neighbor, Matt, standing just outside in the hallway. His hand slowly fell back to his side from where it had moments ago been knocking against your door as your gaze immediately began scanning him over. You noticed that his dark hair was mussed and the gray t-shirt and black sweatpants he was wearing were rumpled, as if he’d either just gotten out of bed or pulled his clothing on in a rush. The red glasses that he often wore were currently missing this evening, allowing you to take in the entirety of his face finally. 

The soft hazel of his eyes held your attention for far longer than you cared to admit as you studied the different flecks of color visible in them. They were creased in concern as they darted around your general direction, never focusing long in one particular area. That odd sensation you felt whenever he was near you was still there–the sensation that you’d noticed when you’d been back in your bedroom and he’d first begun knocking on your door. You could feel it running over your skin now in something like a light tickle as you studied him in return, noting that worried downward curve of his lips.

You hated to admit it, but he was attractive. There was something about him that just drew you to him–but whatever that something was, you weren’t certain you were ready to explore it. Not after him anyway.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked.

His voice broke you from your thoughts, drawing you back to the present. Clearing your throat, you realized that you’d been standing there in your doorway just quietly staring at him without so much as a greeting. Heat crept over your cheeks in faint embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him. Trying to steady your voice after that horrible dream you’d just had, you added on, “I just have nightmares. On occasion.”

“That was the screaming?” Matt asked, his eyes finally landing somewhere along your cheek.

You didn’t like that he’d caught that–your screaming. The amount of nightmares he must’ve overheard you having when you’d only moved here just over a week ago was certainly abnormal, and you didn’t want him asking questions any deeper than he currently was now. Because you were just a normal woman living next door to him–nothing out of the ordinary. He didn’t need to be thinking anything otherwise about you. 

“Yeah, I uh, just had a nightmare,” you repeated awkwardly, your hand still gripping the door. “I accidentally knocked my lamp over when I woke up. Still adjusting to the new apartment and I was a little disoriented, you know?” you quickly half-lied. “Besides being incredibly embarrassed that you heard all of that, I’m fine. Really.”

Matt’s head tilted a bit to the side, his eyes noticeably narrowing at your words as they dipped down towards your chest. That strange tickle along your skin increased before you saw a muscle twitch in his cheek.

Something was definitely going on right now, and you had no idea what. It was driving you insane. Was he doing that? Or was it a reaction you were having to him?

Before you could ponder the question too much further, you spotted a cut along his left temple, on the opposite side of his face as that nasty bruise he’d had this morning. But that cut hadn’t been there when you’d run into him at his office, and you couldn’t help but stare at it. Where did he get it from in the hours since? 

“You’re bleeding,” you pointed out.

Matt’s lips twisted into a puzzled frown, his eyes raising from your chest to focus on your face. “I am?”

Your hand rose up in the space between you both, your fingers about to gently touch the left side of his face and brush back the hair along his temple to point out the cut for him, but you abruptly froze. The gesture seemed far too intimate–not something you should be naturally trying to do with a neighbor that you’d only briefly interacted with on three separate occasions now. That wouldn’t have been typical, appropriate behavior for someone. Dropping your hand back to your side, you found yourself grateful that he couldn't see what you’d foolishly been about to do.

"There’s a cut on your left side, near your temple,” you told him instead, your eyes fixed on the injury. “It's–it doesn't look too bad, but it probably should be cleaned up and bandaged." 

Biting your lip, you watched him gently raise a hand up towards his face. His fingers lightly touched the cut before he winced at the contact.

"I, uh, fell on the pavement earlier," Matt told you sheepishly, his hand lowering back to his side. "Didn't realize there was a crack in the sidewalk and my shoe got stuck. I tripped." He shrugged in an offhand way, one that seemed too practiced to be believable. "I'm pretty clumsy, I get injured often. Kind of comes with being blind." He let out a laugh, gesturing towards his eyes, but you continued to study him closely, feeling as if he sounded way too flippant. "I can take care of it in a bit,” he continued, “I just wanted to make sure you were alright after I’d heard the screaming."

Standing there observing him in the hallway–still very aware of the weird sensation passing over your skin in soft, uneven flickers–you felt your stomach nervously twist at his blatant concern over you. You didn’t exactly know what to feel about it. No one had ever shown you genuine concern before–you’d always just fended for yourself. And you’d long since come to realize that he had no idea what it meant to truly care for another person. 

At the thought of him, your dream resurfaced and a shudder raced through you. That all too familiar prickle of fear raised the hair on the back of your neck, your breathing growing a bit uneven.

He’s not here.

Raising a hand, Matt nervously scratched the back of his neck in the growing silence. He glanced towards the ground as he shifted his weight on his feet in front of you. "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have bothered you," he apologized. "You don't know me that well and it's late and I'm making you uncomfortable. I'll just–"

"No," you shot out quickly, cutting off his rambling apology. 

He paused, eyes darting back up towards your chin as his brows raised at your blurted interruption. Standing there gripping your door tighter, you had absolutely no idea why you’d just responded like that. The word had just flown right out of your lips.

"No, you're not–I mean it's not," you spluttered. 

Stopping, you paused to take a breath in order to give your mind a chance to form a coherent thought. Matt stood there watching you patiently, but the strange way his attention on you made your skin tingle wasn’t helping you to think clearly.

"You're not…making me uncomfortable," you finally managed. "I appreciate the gesture. Checking on me, I mean. It's very kind of you to make sure your weird neighbor that woke up screaming from a nightmare is alright."

Matt shifted forward on his feet again, leaning a little towards you with a gentle smile on his handsome face. That odd fluttering in your stomach returned just before the corner of his lips twitched upwards.

Why did he have to be so damn attractive?

"I don't think you're weird, Olivia," he said softly. "We all have our demons."

Unable to resist, you huffed out an amused breath at his words. He didn’t even know the half of it where you were concerned.

Eyes shifting back to the cut along his temple, you chewed your lip in silent indecision. If he couldn’t see the injury, how well could he bandage it himself if you just let him go back to his apartment? He’d already been kind enough to check on you, would it be absurd to invite him in just to give him a quick bandage? Normal people would offer something like that, wouldn’t they?

"If you want to come in, I can clean up that cut," you offered hesitantly, uncertain of the suggestion still. "I might have a bandage in my first aid kit for it." Pausing, your hand tightened on your apartment door while you hoped that you hadn’t come across too forward–or as if you were implying anything else than first aid treatment. "If you want, I mean. You certainly don’t have to," you quickly added. 

A warm smile spread across his lips before he nodded. "I would like that, actually," he replied. "Thank you." He held up his hand in the space between you both, one brow quirking up onto his forehead as he tentatively asked, “Would you mind guiding me in? I left my cane back in my apartment when I hurried out of the door.”

Slowly you reached out, gently taking him by the wrist and guiding his hand to your forearm. His fingers gripped gently around the bare skin, his thumb just once lightly sweeping across the delicate skin right over the pulse point along your own wrist. It almost felt like static electricity passed from his thumb to your skin at the touch and you tensed instantly. Eyes flying up towards his face, you caught the way his mouth very faintly twitched in response before his tongue darted out between his lips. 

Had he just…felt that, too? Or was this all just you?

Eyes running over his face, you attempted to make sense of why this man always elicited such a strange reaction from you, but then his head tilted to the side a bit, a small smile drawing over his lips. You realized a second later that you’d just been standing there with his hand on your forearm while staring at him again instead of guiding him into your apartment.

Quickly turning your head away from him, you winced at how ridiculous you probably appeared to him. Clearing your throat, you lead him into your apartment, shutting the door behind him after he stepped fully inside.

“Right, so, I’ll just lead you down the entry hall to my couch in the living room,” you told him, guiding him straight towards the piece of furniture. “Then I can grab my first aid kit.”

Once you’d gotten him settled onto your couch, you hurried off to your bathroom for the first aid kit you kept under the vanity. You grabbed a wet washcloth to clean the blood from him before you stepped back out into the hall, making your way down it to find him still seated on your couch where you’d left him. 

As you lowered yourself onto the cushion beside him, you tried to shake off the strange sensation still passing over your skin. Setting the first aid kit onto your coffee table, you turned towards him with the wet washcloth in your hand.

“I’ll need to clean the cut off first,” you said, eyeing the injury. “You’ve got blood dried along it.”

Leaning forward and resting his elbows against his knees, Matt shifted so his gaze was facing forward, giving you easier access to his cut. 

“Do whatever you need to,” he replied.

Very gently, you grabbed his chin in one hand, tilting his head at an angle better suited for you. That brief flicker of something akin to static electricity felt like it momentarily passed over your fingertips before it disappeared, leaving you struggling not to focus too hard on the rough stubble and warm skin beneath your fingertips. 

With his face positioned where you needed it, you released his chin before brushing away the soft brown hair from his temple, your fingers holding it back and out of your way. Matt’s eyes fluttered closed beneath your touch as he leaned just marginally into your hand. You registered that subtle movement, swallowing hard before focusing on gingerly wiping the dried blood from his skin instead of trying to make sense of it. 

“So you know I’m a lawyer,” Matt said, breaking the growing silence. “What is it you do for work, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a programmer,” you answered him, remaining focused on your task. “I don’t do anything exciting, exactly. I create programs for companies to help with data storage among other boring things.”

“What uh…what made you choose that?” he asked curiously.

Pulling the cloth away from the now cleaned cut, you removed your hand from his hair, watching as it fell forward along his forehead. It wasn’t a deep cut, nothing remotely serious. Something you could have easily helped him with in another way–but you weren’t doing that. Not anymore.

Because you were normal.

“I don’t know exactly,” you admitted, setting the washcloth onto the coffee table. As your fingers searched your first aid kit for some ointment, you continued. “I guess I liked the idea of creating things. And programmers, in the right company, can make a decent living–though New York City is still expensive.”

Matt grinned at your comment, a faint breath of laughter falling out of him. “Yeah, you’re not wrong there,” he agreed. “But you work from your apartment, don’t you? Doesn’t that ever feel…isolating?”

Dabbing the ointment onto his cut, you found yourself so focused on your task and the conversation that you’d forgotten about the strange sensation along your skin. Though it was still rolling over you in gentle waves–almost in a comforting way.

“I don’t mind it,” you told him. “I like the quiet and the familiarity of my own space. The freedom to work from anywhere in the country, allowing me to move whenever I need a change of scenery. Gives me a certain sense of freedom, really.”

Shifting on the couch, you turned and began searching for a bandage that you could use. Your fingers sifting through the items in the bright red bag, you continued to speak, unaware that you were rambling on far past simply answering his initial question.

“I don’t usually like being surrounded by people, anyway,” you confessed. “I’m much more comfortable working in a space without countless co-workers or upper management watching everything you do. Observing you every single day. Monitoring you.”

As you’d brushed away the hair from his forehead with your pinky, your hands holding the bandage just above his cut, you paused. Realization dawned on you about how much you were oversharing, your face slightly heating. He didn’t need to know all of that.

“Sorry,” you abruptly apologized. “I didn’t realize I was babbling incessantly.”

“No, don’t apologize,” Matt quickly countered, a smile drawing itself across his face. “I like listening to your voice. It’s calming.”

Focusing on applying the bandage over his cut, you noticed that sensation across your skin growing a bit warm now. Somehow that made it even more distracting than it usually was.

“Thanks?” you said with an awkward smile. “I’ve uh, never been told that before.” 

Smoothing the bandage across his temple, you finished taking care of his small injury. Hands dropping back into your lap, you shifted a little away from him on the couch. 

“All done,” you said, voice a bit quieter now.

Matt turned on the couch, positioning himself towards you more fully. The warm smile on his face was now fully visible, his gaze focused just somewhere above your left shoulder. 

“Thank you,” he replied, gesturing a finger towards the bandage. “I appreciate the middle of the night medical care.”

Trying to bite back the smile on your face, you shrugged a shoulder. “Well, I appreciate the middle of the night safety check-in.”

An amused chuckle rumbled out of Matt before he reached a hand out in your direction, his palm somehow easily finding your knee. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and something about that simple and unfamiliar gesture had you stiffening on the couch. 

“Anytime,” he assured you, his hand releasing your knee. “But I should probably let you get back to sleep. It’s late.”

With a resigned sigh, you nodded in response. “Right,” you muttered half-heartedly.

Matt’s head tilted at your tone, his brows furrowing together as the smile slipped from his face. “Something wrong?” he asked.

Shaking your head, knowing that he couldn’t see the gesture, your thumbnail dug into the fabric of your sweatpants, toying with the cloth nervously. The last thing you felt like doing right now was going back into your bedroom and falling asleep again. Not after that nightmare.

“No, nothing,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light. “I just doubt I’ll be falling back asleep anytime soon. It’s not a big deal. Stupid, really.”

A moment of silence passed between the pair of you, your fingers still fidgeting with the fabric of your sweatpants. The thought of falling asleep and seeing his face again was far too much for you right now.

“If it would make you feel more comfortable,” Matt began hesitantly, “I can stay for a bit? To keep you company?”

Lips parting in surprise at his unexpected offer, you sat beside him in shock on your couch. He was offering to stay here for a bit? At this hour? Despite the strange Skin Tingle as you’d begun calling it in your mind, you found yourself tempted to accept his offer. His presence felt comforting and safe. But how absurd and childish would it look for a grown woman not wanting to be alone after a nightmare? And how would that not make him begin to wonder what was really going on with you?

“Honestly, I don’t mind,” Matt continued when you didn’t respond. “I can go into the office a bit later tomorrow morning if I need to. That’s the beauty of working for yourself,” he said with a grin. “It might upset Foggy for an hour, but I really don’t mind. It would actually make me feel better to make sure you’re really alright.” He cleared his throat before he sent you a hesitant, friendly smile. “If I’m not intruding, of course. I–I’m actually enjoying your company.”

Chewing the inside of your cheek, you considered his offer while trying hard not to focus on the last thing he’d said. The thought of being alone wasn’t a pleasant one, and he was offering to keep you company–quite insistently.

“I suppose if it’s not putting you out,” you answered him slowly. “And if it really won’t affect your work tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of any problems.”

“Really,” Matt said, settling back onto the couch with a charming smile on his face. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay, well I–I’m just going to grab the broken bits of my lamp from my bedroom and toss them,” you told him, rising from the couch. “There’s like three pieces, it shouldn’t take me more than a moment.”

“I’ll be fine right here, unless you’d like some help?” he offered.

“No, it’s not a big deal,” you replied sheepishly, embarrassed that you’d even broken the damn lamp. “I’ll just be a moment.”

Hurrying down the hall to your bedroom, you stepped inside to see it in the same state you’d left it in earlier. Your sheets were still half thrown onto the floor from where you’d woken in a fit, and the bedside lamp was still broken in three pieces along the floor. Carefully stepping over to that side of the bed, you began collecting the broken pieces, making sure not to cut yourself in the process.

“So you said you don’t particularly enjoy being around a lot of people,” Matt called out as you began to make your way back down the hallway. “Can I ask what drew you to the city then? New York City seems an odd choice for you if that’s the case.”

You headed into the kitchen, tossing the lamp and its broken pieces into the garbage before glancing over at him on the couch. His arm was slung over the back of it, his head turned slightly towards where you stood in the kitchen. Unable to resist, a small smile tugged at your lips at the sight of him sitting there.

“I don’t,” you admitted. “Like being around a lot of people, that is. I lived in Anchorage, Alaska for a few years before I actually came here. I just wanted a change, I guess. Though Anchorage isn’t technically small–it’s actually the most populated city in Alaska. It’s certainly not New York City, though. But everything out there is sort of…secluded. It’s kind of what drew me there initially. The idea of getting lost somewhere.” 

Clearing your throat, you realized you were once again spilling far too much information to him. Instead, you stepped over towards an open shelf and pulled two glasses down. 

“I haven’t done much grocery shopping yet, so my hostess options are limited, but would you like some water?” you asked, attempting to change the subject a little.

“Yes, thank you,” Matt answered.

Brief silence filled your apartment as you filled up two glasses with water. Carrying them back towards the couch, you slipped one glass into Matt’s outstretched hand before taking a drink from your own. Your mouth felt incredibly dry as you attempted to navigate this personal conversation about yourself. 

“The coffee table is about a foot and a half in front of you,” you said, lowering your glass from your lips before sitting back down on the couch. “If you’d like to set your glass down.”

“Thank you,” Matt said, smiling as he leaned forward to do just that. As he once more sat back against the couch, his unseeing gaze landed in your direction again. “What was Alaska like? It seems a very unlikely location for one to just end up in.”

The ghost of a smile swept over your lips as you looked down at the cup in your hands, your fingers running over the cool glass beneath them. In your mind, you could easily recall the place you’d called home for a few years. Part of you missed it already.

“It was…beautiful,” you began, voice quiet, almost reverent. “I’d been traveling briefly right before having moved there,”  you told him, fighting hard to keep the memories attached to that period of time buried deep. “But I’d never seen any place like it. The mountains are massive. They tower behind Anchorage, just always in the distance, always standing so tall. I’d never seen anything quite like them before. And the forests…” 

Your voice trailed off as your eyes fell closed, remembering the forests. There’d been many times you’d disappeared in them for awhile just to escape from your own thoughts.

“They’re wild,” you continued softly. “Countless different types of spruce trees, cedars, and birches. Moss literally coats every inch of the forest ground like a green blanket. Everything is just so incredibly green and full of life.” That faint ghost of a smile was still drawn over your lips as you pictured Anchorage in your mind. “You could look up and spot bald eagles or magpies in the sky. There were always moose and their young on the side of the roads, or cutting through backyards in the city.” 

Opening your eyes, you noticed Matt’s had closed at some point while you’d been speaking. He looked as if he’d been trying to focus on imagining everything you were explaining himself. 

“You paint a beautiful picture,” he said quietly, his own eyes slowly reopening and focusing back in your direction. “It sounds like you loved it there.”

Exhaling quietly, you nodded your head. “I did,” you told him. “I loved hiking the trails, being out in nature. Tried a few outdoor activities, but I never got into the fishing or hunting out there–not really into the idea of killing things," you said quietly, an edge to your words.

Beside you, Matt’s expression softened. “So why’d you move out here?” he asked.

You hesitated for a moment at the question, uncertain with how honest you wanted to be with him. But with how you’d gotten to know his friends, Karen and Foggy, you had a feeling that Matt was someone you didn’t need to completely hide yourself from.

“Figured maybe…I’d feel less lonely,” you answered, giving him a weak shrug. “There’s only so much comfort trees and mountains can bring someone.”

“Did it help?” he asked curiously, his brows lightly drawing together. “Do you feel any less lonely since you’ve moved here? Surrounded by buildings and people instead of moose and trees?”

Pausing for a moment, you considered the question. That night you’d spent out with Karen and Foggy while they drank returned to you, a tiny smile curling your lips upwards at the memory. You’d had fun with them. Real, genuine fun. Something you didn’t think you’d felt before.

“I’ve been here one week and made a few friends already,” you responded. “So, yeah, I’d say so.”

“Good,” Matt replied, a warm smile crossing his face as his eyes creased at the corners. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Matt noticed the change in your breathing as soon as it gradually began to slow. You'd been steadily growing closer and closer to falling asleep as you sat beside him on your couch for the past half hour, narrating the late night movie for him that you'd both settled on watching. Despite the way your voice had eventually gotten a bit more slurred from exhaustion, Matt couldn't help but find himself focusing so intently on it.

He'd been honest earlier with what he’d told you–your voice was calming to him. Soothing in a way he hadn't experienced from anyone else before. He couldn’t help but want to continue listening to you speak, unsure why exactly your voice sounded just marginally different from anyone else's. As if there was the faintest pitch hidden in there that he couldn’t quite place. An odd, calming note that he’d never heard in someone’s voice previously.

You were a curiosity to Matt.

At first, he'd started paying attention to you after you’d moved in across the hall because he'd overheard the late night screaming coming from your apartment. He’d caught it that first night you’d been there. But then your late night terrors continued after that. Matt caught the sounds of them when he was heading back into his own apartment, undressing from his night out on the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. Or the noise of your panic had sometimes managed to even draw him straight from his own sleep, causing him to bolt wide awake at the shrill, scared sound. On occasion, Matt had even noticed the acrid tang of fear barreling across the hallway from your apartment, the pungent scent forcing its way into his own space periodically at different hours of the day. It was such a strong smell that Matt was incapable of ignoring it.

There was something off about you. Something different. And clearly something was troubling you–something he got the sense that you were hiding from. But he wasn’t going to push you to open up about it. Not yet, anyway. But that didn’t mean Matt wasn’t going to try to find some way to unravel your secrets.

But the nightmares and the strange tone in your voice wasn’t all that had Matt curious about you. He’d noticed it the first time he’d met you in the hallway with Foggy, and it had only become more evident to Matt tonight as he’d spent time in your apartment with you. Carefully rising from your couch, Matt turned around and gently grasped your sleeping form by the shoulders, that odd noise still humming in his ears. Even as he lowered you slowly down onto the couch, helping you to rest in a more comfortable position, he could still hear that peculiar sound.

Whenever Matt was close enough to you, he’d grown aware of the faintest humming that appeared to emanate directly from you. It was soft, almost imperceptible to his own sensitive ears, but he always heard it whenever you were near enough–and tonight was no exception. It was as if your body itself was vibrating somehow, creating this oddly unique and relaxing version of white noise in his ears. Or the gentle buzz of a handful of bumblebees. In all his years with his senses, all his time navigating the city, Matt had never come across another human being that actually made a sound. A sound that was something other than the usual noises of one’s body–heartbeats, breathing, grumbling stomachs, blood pumping through someone’s veins.

No. This was something else entirely. Something uniquely and frustratingly you. Something Matt desperately wanted to understand even more after his night here with you in your apartment.

Reaching his hand out above your sleeping form, Matt ran it along the back of your couch in search of the blanket he knew was there, the sound of the movie continuing to play on your television behind him. After a few seconds, Matt’s fingertips brushed over the plush, soft material. He took a moment, gliding his fingers back and forth over the silkiness of the blanket, appreciating the feel of it. The corner of his lips twitched before he removed it from the back of the couch and draped it over your sleeping form that was currently fast asleep on the cushions. He’d let you get some sleep for now, aware of how much your exhausted body clearly needed it. 

But as he maneuvered his way around your couch, heading towards your apartment door, Matt couldn't help but wonder about you. You seemed kind and genuine, perhaps a little awkward, but not someone who appeared to carry any ill-intent. So why did you seem so constantly filled with fear? What sort of nightmares plagued you so frequently that it woke you screaming and accidentally breaking lamps? And what the hell was with that faint vibration you emitted, or the weird way you reacted when he'd grabbed your wrist earlier?

Who were you? What secrets were you hiding?

[silvermoon424]

Eternal Erina

Left by @chommission, right by @linyu3u

An anon innocently asked me to talk about my OC Erina's final form, Eternal Erina. Unfortunately, it's impossible to actually explain her deal without also explaining the story of my story/paracosm. Which is, uh, LONG AND COMPLICATED.

For anyone who doesn't want to read the massive incoming infodump, the main plot of my story/paracosm revolves around Erina and her journey from a frightened, troubled child into the savior of her people (mages, aka magical girls and magical boys). That involves becoming a goddess, a concept, and a universal force. So like Ultimate Madoka, basically. If the design didn’t tip you off, my story is HEAVILY inspired by PMMM, lol. 

The details are hidden under this Read More. If you end up reading it, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!!

Order and Chaos

So basically, magic and life (especially sapient life) is governed by the Rule of Cycles, a mostly benevolent being/law of nature. It is opposed by Chaos, who governs black/chaos magic but cannot create true life, only shadows of itself or People of the Cycle that have been corrupted. Chaos hates RoC because it's envious of RoC's creativity and ability to create life, not to mention that Chaos used to be a part of RoC at the beginning of the universe and wants to once again be one with everything. 

Mages have existed for billions of years, all across the universe. Where there is sapient life, there is magic. Mages are born when they resonate with the Rule of Cycles and are granted a wish/miracle. But if they fall into despair or fail to replenish their magic they will become Wraiths, beings of Chaos (again, like magical girls and Witches from PMMM).

Also, if you couldn't tell by the names, the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are basically Order vs Chaos personified. This is inspired by the Stars arc of Sailor Moon and the ultimate villain Chaos.

Also, RoC and Chaos can't fight directly without damaging the fabric of the universe and/or causing mass destruction, so they manipulate beings and create proxies to fight a proxy war. Erina, my main OC, is the RoC's chosen champion and can tap into it directly. Chaos doesn't have a champion (yet) and mostly just sends out powerful extensions of itself, although it does also have corrupted People of the Cycle at its beck and call.

Also, in my paracosm, the RoC was created by an even greater being that created the multiverse who's since basically fucked off and doesn't intervene at all. Soon after the creation of the universe, billions of years ago, Chaos split off from the RoC and they've opposed each other ever since.

The Philosophy of the Cycle and Unnecessary Suffering

However, even though the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are opposed, they are inextricably bound together. Just like as the darkness needs the light to create shadows, the light also needs the darkness to shine more brightly. 

In other words, without evil, we couldn’t truly comprehend good. Without sorrow in the world, there would be no compassion. If we never lost anything, we would never truly appreciate what we have. And so on. The Philosophy of the Cycle- the path that mages spend years walking- is making peace with the fact that sorrow/evil/suffering will not only always exist, but is in fact vital to the very foundation of the universe. 

With all that said, even though suffering and sorrow are inevitable, we must try to diminish it in any way we can. Making peace with the foundations of the universe does not mean totally accepting it the way it is and sitting by passively while bad things happen. Because not all suffering-or even most suffering, one could argue- is inevitable. A lot of suffering is due to unjust systems, systems that need to be torn down and replaced with something better. 

You know, unjust systems like the current mage system.

In my story, being a mage isn’t an immediate death sentence like in PMMM; many mages go on to live full adult lives. However, the death/corruption rate is still around 1/3 to 1/2 of all mages. So even if you don’t succumb to Chaos yourself, you are essentially guaranteed to know and love someone who will or already has.  

I haven’t sat down and figured out how the mage-Wraith system came about; all I know is that it wasn’t always there and is the result of  tampering. It’s been in place so long that there are only a scant few records talking about the before times, but there is evidence it didn’t always exist.

Also, Wraiths aren’t the only Chaos Beings around; mages also fight Demons. Unlike Wraiths, they are mere extensions and creations of Chaos and did not used to be sapient. There are enough Demons around to support the mage population’s need for purification, once again proving that Wraiths are unnecessary and cruel.  

 Some cycles need to be broken. Enter Daenerys.

The Oracle

Daenerys aka Dany (yes, named after that Daenerys!) comes from a noble family of oracles who once reigned as the monarchs of a country of mages before it was destroyed. Dany is the most talented far-seer ever born and, after seeing a vision of Erina as a goddess whose ascension broke the cycle that turns mages into monsters, has dedicated her life to ensuring that future becomes reality. Even the wish that turned her into a magical girl was in service of her goals: she wished to be the fount from which a true hero would be born.

(idk where else to put this, but another major plotline of my story is a government conspiracy. Countless children with psychic powers and/or the potential to become mages were kidnapped and raised in a top-secret research facility. Dany was one of the first victims of this program due to precognition being a very rare ability. Dany (not a mage yet) was deep in despair when she had her vision about Erina. It gave her a reason to live and keep going, which is why she’s so dedicated to Erina and her mission)

Twisting and weaving the threads of fate, Dany carefully manipulates things to ensure the future she saw. She does whatever she can to add onto Erina’s karma (which, like in PMMM, determines how powerful a mage is). Dany also became a mage years before Erina, so a lot of this happened when Erina was still completely ignorant of what fate had in store for her.

Erina’s Entrance

I truly cannot give as much background as I want on Erina herself because this is so fucking long already lol, but I’ll give the main points of her background:

Her mother died about a year after giving birth to her, and she was then raised by her grandmother until she was 5. After her grandmother suddenly died, she was put into the foster care system.

The main story starts when Erina is 12. I’m literally not even gonna try explaining all that goes on lol, but the important thing is that she comes under the care of a young man named Eric who becomes her adoptive father.

Again, due to reasons I won’t get into now, Erina was nearly driven to suicide due to despair (she has C-PTSD and was at a point where she thought the future was bleak). The love and care Eric showed her gave her hope and made her want to keep going, and she is left with the strong desire to inspire hope in others the way he did in her.

Flash forward a bit and Erina becomes a magical girl, using her wish to save Eric’s life in a dangerous situation. She immediately and wholeheartedly embraces her role as a magical girl, seeing it as a way to help others and inspire hope like she so dearly wants to.

Erina finds herself in a found family with fellow mages Luna, Rhae, Iris, and Flora (the other main OCs of my story). She also formally meets Dany and becomes close with her. She also becomes friends with lots of other people (including many mages) and has a lot of fun experiences.

Doppelgangers: The Other “Me”

It’s soon revealed that Erina’s magic has created a purifying barrier around the city she and her friends live in; instead of becoming Wraiths, mages who exhaust their magic will instead summon Doppelgangers (YES I LOVE MAGIA RECORD AND IT’S OBVIOUS). I’ll try to explain the Doppelgangers and their relationship to the overall lore:

Doppelgangers are actually symbiotic organisms from another dimension that attach onto the souls of sapient beings because they themselves lack souls as well as self-awareness and consciousnesses (although they do have intelligence).

Doppelgangers are normally benign, but they respond to their hosts' emotions and can turn into Wraiths if overcome with despair. Again, this did not always used to be the case. It’s implied that Erina’s magic is shielding the city from the effects of Chaos, and therefore Doppelgangers cannot be corrupted.

All People of the Cycle (intelligent life) have Doppelgangers, but only mages have the power to manifest them in our dimension.

Doppelgangers are also manifestations of the host's soul. As such, the host might be self-conscious of their Doppelgangers or outright reject it if they don't like what they see. In turn, the Doppelganger might keep trying to force its user to confront their own demons or flaws in an attempt to help them (basically, sometimes a Doppelganger can be a really intense therapy session lol). 

A Doppelganger is a reflection of its user, and accepting one's Doppel is an act of self-love and self-acceptance. Doppelgangers themselves LOVE their hosts and are unquestioningly loyal to them. However, more than the host’s words, the Doppelganger obeys their heart.

If the host rejects their Doppelganger, the Doppelganger will still come out in the automatic purification field. The mage just won't be able to control it. Outside of the city, they'll turn into a Wraith unless they come to terms with the Doppel and are able to summon it. 

Dany hopes to expand the purification barrier across the entire universe. She plans on doing this by having Erina resonate with the Rule of Cycles once again and be granted a second wish.

The vast majority of mages are only given one miracle. However, mages who have accumulated exceptional amounts of karma and are judged to be worthy are capable of being granted a second wish. This is why Dany has been working so hard to build up Erina’s karma. To help her with this goal, Dany creates a group called the Weavers of Fate.

Oh... It’s a Cult

Yep, the Weavers of Fate are pretty much a mage-based cult based on their belief in Dany’s visions and Erina’s future as a goddess. But can you blame them for latching onto hope when their fate is so dicey? Dozens (and later thousands) of mages work to assist Dany in her goals.

The Weavers of Fate embrace and revere Erina as their messiah, sometimes making her uncomfortable because she just wants to live a normal life with her loved ones. But as the story goes on, Erina becomes more and more convinced that she needs to embrace the role if it means saving her fellow mages.

Side note: at a certain point in the timeline, the existence of mages becomes public knowledge. There’s a lot of sociopolitical drama that I won’t get into here.

Dany’s Changing Priorities

A few years into the timeline (after a LOT of things happen that aren’t relevant to this writeup), Erina shockingly and unexpectedly dies in a climatic battle against Chaos. Dany is utterly devastated and, in her grief, resonates with the Rule of Cycles and makes a second wish (by this point, Dany has wracked up TONS of karma herself). She wishes for a chance to redo things, and is given the ability to go back in time. She can only go back in time at the static rate of a few months, but this gives her enough time to plan ahead for the climatic battle.

Well, long story short, Dany goes through several time loops, failing each one, and gets more and more traumatized each time. Yes, she’s literally Homura but better off in a few ways. Anyway, Dany learns that Erina’s ascension to godhood is not guaranteed; with the more karma she accumulates, she is more and more likely to become a Wraith. And not just any Wraith, a Wraith that could easily destroy the entire world (and later, even the galaxy).

After years of single-mindedly pursuing her goal, Dany decides that all she wants to do now is protect Erina and her other friends. She’s done with being a pawn for cosmic forces greater than her. She feels immense guilt for putting Erina on a pedestal and putting her through all this, as she now deeply loves and cherishes Erina as a friend... or maybe something more than a friend.

Except oops, she’s already done so much at this point that she’s completely screwed over the chances of them all having a normal life. With every reset, things just get worse. But she refuses to give up, continuing to hold out hope even in the face of overwhelming odds.

How It All Ends

Dany finally reveals everything to Erina, expressing her regret and asking for Erina’s forgiveness. Erina says there’s nothing to forgive, as she wouldn’t change the life she’s lived and the experiences she’s had for anything.

The climatic final battle begins. Wraiths from all over the world descend on the city where the story takes place, overriding the purification barrier and causing mass death and havoc. Erina is forced to sit it out due to the dangers of her dying or becoming a world-destroying Wraith, like Dany has seen happen so many times. A lot of the main characters die fighting, and Erina is left devastated.

Despite all that, Erina affirms her belief in hope and her desire to give it to mages- her people. The way she sees it, mages are being punished for believing in hope and wanting a better life, and that is unacceptable. She remembers a dear friend who became a Wraith, along with all of the other people she’s known and cared about who suffered the same fate.

She knows what she has to do.

She has an emotional conversation with Eric, her adoptive father, and thanks him for setting her down this road. Despite his pain and reluctance to let her go, he gives her his blessing. Erina says goodbye to her remaining friends and loved ones, thanking them for showing her how beautiful the world is. There are a lot of awful, terrible things in the world, but the good things it has to offer are enough to make it worth fighting for. Erina knows this better than anyone.

Resonating with the Rule of Cycles once more, Erina makes her second wish: To have the power to grant the promise of “tomorrow” to mages. She ascends to godhood, and the purification barrier becomes a universal law of nature (much like Ultimate Madoka). Unlike Madoka, however, everyone remembers Erina and knows about her sacrifice.

Time restructures itself, and because the Wraiths that killed everyone no longer exist, the people who died in the final battle are resurrected. Erina’s friends and family- ESPECIALLY Dany, who is absolutely guilt-ridden- deeply mourn her loss, but vow to keep protecting the world she loved and cared so much about.

🩷 The End 🩷

I Lied, There’s More

Okay, so that’s the ending of the main paracosm. However, there’s a sequel! I have not spent nearly as much time on this as the main story so a lot is very sketchy. I’m just gonna list out my main ideas:

A little while after the ending of the main story, an alien union/federation/whatever makes first contact with Earth; they were also saved by Erina's actions and want to return the favor by helping humanity out.

Stuff Happens but I don’t know exactly what yet lol. I do know there’s a lot of space battles because that’s just cool.

Erina eventually comes back into her physical form because Dany is in danger (I imagine it's a situation similar to Rebellion; I haven't hammered out the details yet though). There are also Chaos machinations, which could be catastrophic for the universe.

She manages to save Dany and also connects with Chaos itself, making it realize it needs to chill out. Like it can still be Chaos but not so extra.

Erina with her loved ones, also getting to meet the new characters. She is sad about needing to leave them again, but knows her duty is more important.

However, the Rule of Cycles is very grateful for all of Erina’s help; after all, she ended Wraiths and managed to get Chaos to calm down just a bit. The RoC asks Erina if she wants to live out the rest of her natural lifespan in the mortal world. She says yes, because there's nothing she wants to do more than live her life with her friends and family, in the world she loves so much.

I imagine the system her wish made is still in place because, like Madokami, she's both Erina the individual and Erina the force of nature. It’s not great to have Erina the individual missing, but since it’ll only be for a few decades the universe can cope.

In the ACTUAL, FINAL ending, Erina becomes a teacher for young mages. Erina, Dany, and Iris (a main character whose relationship with Erina is also a major theme) officially become a polycule. LOVE FUCKING WINS!

If you made it this far: THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY, both the story itself and your interest mean more to me than anything!!! 🩷🩷🩷

[solannecontinuum]

30 MAY 2023.

A day where the most unexpected happened .... The 4th Host fragment was discovered. And the 4th Husband.

Made this as my cover illustration for ILLUSTRATION DIARY VOLUME III. It's been almost a year since I began working on it, and it's FINALLY DONE!!!

Inspired by the works of KOH KAWARAJIMA-SAMA.

[watcheraurora]

Tagged by @gerudoevernight

Original Post Rules (from @fallen-knight ): "WIP Tag Game: Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs."

I don't have that many friends... because I have a lot of WIPs XD

Okay. Let's do this

Burn Out 2 (title pending)

Supernatural Frat (temporary title)

Brass Walls (temporary title)

To the Skye Part 4: Solidarity-Tek

Burn It to the Ground (temporary title)

The Tinkerer

Impostor (temporary title)

Guardian Angels and Their Demons (temporary title)

Isekai (temporary title)

Siren Song Part 2

Admin

I would add Healing Light 2 but since that's a collab I'm not counting it

No pressure tags: @infernafiresword @soemthingsparkly @mellioops @aris-has-a-paracosm @slooopes and anyone else who wants to play! <3

[asifyoudidntknow]

All Time Favs

I began reading fanfic in my teens during the original run of the show. There were lonnng breaks from it, but coming back to the fandom in 2017 reignited my interest. I now keep a spreadsheet as well as a "to read" list. I already have almost 600 logged (not including 5 years), so I wanted to share my top favorites. Divided into my 4 favorite genres (AU, casefic, angst + romance, and smut + romance) and in no particular order...

*Alternate Universe*

I used to wonder why someone would choose to read AU. Then I read one of these and was completely blown away.

Katherine of Ireland by Jenna Tooms (gossamer)

Katherine, princess of Ireland is married to Walter, king of Angora. When Walter is killed during battle, Katherine is taken by the enemy, FitzJames. William is FitzJames right hand. When FitzJames orders her to be beaten (even after discovering her pregnancy) William devises a plan to save her, heal her and get her back to Ireland. Will William always be seen as the enemy or will Katherine come to see him for who he truly is?

By the dim and flaring lamps by @sunflowerseedsandscience (ao3)

Civil war AU’s are my jam and this was one of the first ones I read.  When Mulder discovers (disguised boy) Scully bathing in a waterfall by darkness and realizes what he is dealing with will remain etched in my brain forever.

In darkness by DKSculder (ao3)

What if Scully was married to Daniel?  What if Daniel was a serial killer?  What if Mulder was a VCU agent still?   This is an unfinished work, but the idea is unlike any other I’ve come across.

Blinded by the white light by DashaK (ao3)

Need I say more?  When Mulder and Scully find each other after colonization, will they remember each other and will they act on it?

The second side of light by @scapegrace74-blog (ao3)

Oregon Trail.  Mulder is leading scully and Melissa across the trail when Melissa dies.  They end up getting very close to one another on the journey.

Paracelsus by profuckslove (ao3)

Another amazing civil war AU.  When Mulder goes looking for his lost son and comes across a pregnant scully what will happen to them?

Hiareth by profuckslove (gossamer)

Wales 1215.  Scully escapes the king by marrying Mulder, the prince of wales.  Marriage leads to love and fighting off dangerous men.

Paracosm by @softnow (ao3)

This is an unfinished work.  College AU.  Mulder has a crush on the library girl, will she return his advances?

A companion unobtrusive by @slippinmickeys (ao3)

A college AU where scully is looking for a roommate and Mulder is looking for a room.  Melissa introduces them and the rest is history.

Qui Si by Trixie (gossamer)

After accepting an offer from a gypsy to go back to a life with Samantha in it, Mulder, a child psychologist, helps Scully, a PhD, get over her past.

You he did not fail by extraordinarily_ordinary (ao3)

Scully abruptly leaves TXF after surviving cancer and moves to LA to start anew.  She is dating when Mulder is assigned as a profiler to a case she is working and they have to deal with things left undealt with.

Five years and a lifetime by @monikafilefan (ao3)

Mulder is a Peds psychiatrist. Scully is a Peds neurologist. They meet at a conference and have a one night stand.  What happens when they come to work together 5 years later and Scully is a single mom?

Amish country by lolabeegood (gossamer)

Mulder and Scully go undercover in Amish country trying to catch a serial rapist while navigating very traditional values and roles.

You and me by lolabeegood (gossamer)

Mulder leaves his wealthy parents to serve under Scully’s father in the military.  In order for her to stay safe, fed, and clothed she needs to marry.

The mountain man by aka Jake (gossamer)

Scully is sent from nyc (where she was becoming a doctor) to Montana at her father’s wishes.  He wants her to marry a lieutenant under his command and not practice medicine, but she becomes intrigued with a local mountain man.

The countess/the earl by @slippinmickeys (ao3)

When scully is to be married to an old duke in order to save her family from financial ruin, a strange, alluring earl steps in to save her.

*Case*

There is nothing quite like a casefic. It's classic x-files and I am here for it. Writers in this fandom are so talented with their abilities to create a fic that rivals/trumps actual episodes.

Perchitor by @aloysiavirgata (ao3)

A little girl goes missing in the mountains with the superstition of Jenny Greenteeth to blame.  Mulder and Scully investigate while navigating a new physical relationship.

Omens by @lepus-arcticus (ao3)

I read this one as a WIP and was anxiously checking for an update every night.  There were several lines in this fic that made me gasp.  Cancer arc angst. Give me it alllll.

XII by fragilevixen (ao3)

A killer that romanticizes every victim.  His next target?  Guess who.  *coughSCULLYcough*

Hearts desire by malibusunset (ao3)

While in a small town scully runs into an old BF and starts wondering why she doesn’t prioritize her dating.  She decides to go for it.  The author makes me like Scully’s old flame.  That says something.  When the MSR convo finally does come, I thought I’d die from the slow burn.

Resurgam by opheila_interrupted (ao3)

One of the most xfiles like cases I have ever read.  Remains unsolved at the end and has our agents investigating ghosts near Mulder’s hometown while dealing with their own (Emily & Teena).

Universal invariants/laws of motion by @syntax6

Scully is engaged to Ethan throughout the first season while her and Mulder’s relationship is deepening and then consummated right before she is abducted.  How do two guys in love handle Scully’s abduction and what happens when she is returned?  

All the way home/head over heels by @syntax6

Mulder is pulled into a past unsolved VCU case of a killer with a shoe fetish while navigating a new physical relationship with scully.  When scully is targeted, Mulder has to gamble with his personal feelings while working to find the killer.

Queens gambit by Suzanne Schramm (gossamer)

Under Kersh, Mulder and Scully are assigned to a VCU case Mulder worked in Utah in 89’.  The killer was put to death and then revenge began.  Local mines and children involved.

*angst + romance*

This is my crux. Angst in any way, shape, or form. Add in some slow burn/ust and finally the rst *chefs kiss* particularly fond of Ethan fics and cancer arc.

Contact high by penumbra (gossamer)

Still feeling the residual effects of the spores post field trip, our agents try out Mulder’s new waterbed.

Early on by @sunflowerseedsandscience (ao3)

10 vignettes set during season 1.  Our baby agents are becoming close, but Ethan is still around.  How does scully navigate her relationship with Ethan while working with Mulder?

Center Mass by @kateyes224 (ao3)

Another Ethan fic set in season 1.  Mulder and Scully make an effort to get to know one another… in more ways than one.  And when Mulder gets aroused at Scully’s marksmanship it’s all over for me. 

One blue line by sarie_fairy (ao3)

IVF arc.  Scully is defeated by a negative pregnancy test.  When Mulder tries to comfort her, she suggests having sex.  I just remember wondering if I was reading or actually doing the act myself considering how detailed it was.

Salt by anjou (gossamer)

I remember reading this and being like WTF is happening to only have it all make sense at the end leaving me speechless.

Triptych by @iconicscullyoutfits (ao3)

My favorite FTF, post bee, how the f*ck did they get out of anarctica fic.

Snowbound by malibusunset (gossamer)

After missing their flight and being snowed in their rental on the side of the road, discussions lead to their relationship.  Once they’re recused they are put up in an inn with 1 room.  Dun, dun, dunnnn.

The ache by @storybycorey (ao3)

1999 Mulder has a visit with 2015 Mulder to urge him to get help with his depression and not lose scully.

Love bites by living_underground (ao3)

A review of vampirism cases throughout the years.  Hickeys from Ed.  Love bites from Mulder.

Goshen by bonetree (ao3)

Mulder and Scully are in a car accident where their car can’t be seen.  Major injuries lead to near death experiences and visions of Emily.

All that our senses can perceive by wonderland (ao3)

Mulder’s POV looking over Scully’s transformation from girl to woman and how all of his senses perceive her.

Caught in the Act I by parrotfish (gossamer)

Although the whole series is amazing, the first part is my favorite.  I love when scully lays into the review panel about being sexist.

The things she carries by @edierone (ao3)

One of my favorite cancer arc fics.  When Mulder confronts Scully 3 years later on the porch I literally stopped breathing.

Red valerian series by dashakay (ao3)

Scully looks to skinner for comfort during a grueling case, starting a 6 month affair.  Will scully ever love him or will the buried truth prevail?

Sex and Loathing by malibusunset (ao3)

Scully takes a drunk Mulder home after Roche.  He makes a move and they have terrible sex.  After 2 years of poking at each other they face things head on after Mulder almost dies in PBV.

Snakebitten by @onpaperfirst (ao3)

Set throughout season 5.  My favorite season. Say no more.

Five years and one night by Shalimar (gossamer)

When Scully transfers to LA and Mulder finds more babies like Emily, can they work together again to get to the bottom of this conspiracy?

The letter by Shalimar (gossamer)

Post TFWID, scully goes searching for more clues to her and Mulder’s past lives when she comes across a letter in a local Apison museum she sent to Mulder.

*smut + romance*

It's hard to have just smut when it comes to MSR, am I right? these two idiots are so in love that my smut category must also be romantic.

Undercover swing by 2momsmakearight (ao3)

What if Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple interested in swinging?  Can they both keep their jealously in check?  

Be kind, rewind by OnlyTheInevitable (ao3)

To help catch a suspect, skinner requests our agents watch porn together.  While watching, conversation leads to critiques about the performance and comments about personal preferences.

Girl 77 by mojo

A stripper is found dead with Mulder’s card on her.  She looks exactly like Scully.  Scully notices and confronts Mulder about it.

Dropped call series by @phillippadgettwrites (ao3)

Phone sex, but make it “not them”

December 31, 1984 by @phillippadgettwrites (ao3)

When Mulder saves an unimpressed scully from some jerk on NYE, they end up at her apartment having a one night stand.

Damsels by @sisterspooky1013 (ao3)

Scully is sent undercover as a stripper to find a missing woman.  Mulder is kept in the dark regarding her case, but pieces together where she is and what she’s doing and sets out to find her.

The Shirt by Audrey Roget (gossamer)

Skinner reconciles with Sharon leading to a vow renewal celebration. Skinner asks mulder and Scully to stand with him as his best agents. After slow dancing together, mulder bolts out of the celebration before scully catches the bridal bouquet and he crosses a line. When they end up in an accident while driving in a storm, things come to a head in an Elvis inspired motel suite out in the middle of nowhere PA.

[changingplumbob]

Second Round - Day Four (R2) 3 of 3

@paracosmic-sims, @perolesims, @eljeebee, @jonquilyst, @riverofjazzsims, @matchalovertrait

Isabella: I just knew I'd win this time

Quetzalli: Could there have been any other outcome?

Isabella: We're singers. This was basically our challenge to lose

Quetzalli: Now I just have to hope I don't trip up too much

Isabella: Same. It's a bit scary being the first time but we can do it

Quetzalli: Lucky it's sunny today

Quetzalli has chosen the beach for her solo date this round.

Deanna: Do you think you're mostly lucky or unlucky?

Quetzalli: I would consider myself fortunate

Deanna: What's the luckiest/unluckiest thing that has ever happened to you?

Quetzalli: The luckiest thing that has happened to me is gaining a small following. In the music industry, talent doesn't always guarantee success. For a lot of artists, making it big is based on pure luck.

Deanna: Can we get deep for a bit? My family believe in the watcher but I know not everyone does. Do you believe in fate, you know, destiny? Or do you think we're all at the mercy of some watcher?

Quetzalli: I don't believe in fate or destiny

Deanna: No?

Quetzalli: As a matter of fact, I don't believe we have a purpose in life that has been predetermined. However, to me that idea is incredibly freeing. We choose our own paths. Everyone here can live life how they'd like to.

Deanna: Say you can live anywhere. Where would you live?

Quetzalli: Tartosa forever! I can't imagine living anywhere else... well, maybe Del Sol Valley if it'll help my career. Or San Myshuno? All the lights at night must look stunning.

Deanna: I have to say I like being in Tartosa because it's close to my family

Quetzalli: I am completely fine with that because I love living in Tartosa. My moms are from Ciudad Enamorada but I’ve lived here my whole life. Ideally, I want to be close to my parents as well

Deanna: I like that. Of course vacations in Del Sol would be great if you need because I can just see Devin and her family when we're there

Isabella decided to pick the beach as her solo date venue.

Deanna: Do you think you're mostly lucky or unlucky?

Belle: I always just leave things to the Watcher...

Deanna: What's the luckiest/unluckiest thing that has ever happened to you?

Belle: I'm not really sure... what about you?

Deanna: I think getting to do this show is pretty lucky for me

Deanna: Can we get deep for a bit? My family believe in the watcher but I know not everyone does. Do you believe in fate, you know, destiny? Or do you think we're all at the mercy of some watcher?

Belle: I believe in the mercy of the Watcher. 

Deanna: Can I ask what makes you believe that? Family?

Belle: My Nana had me believe that whatever the Watcher writes in your fate, it is what you are destined for

Deanna: Say you can live anywhere. Where would you live?

Belle: I'd love to live in another city...like San Myshuno. I'd love to experience the city life. If it's not for me, well, I could always go back to Del Sol

Deanna: I have to say I like being in Tartosa because it's close to my family

Belle: The only places I frequent to is Tartosa and Del Sol Valley

Deanna: I could be persuaded to move if it was to somewhere stable

Belle: I'm based in Del Sol, so rest assured we could stay there most of the time, theoretically, of course. That also means that we could come back to Tartosa during the holidays

Deanna: That would be nice

With the dates concluded it's skill time back at the villa. The contestants get four hours today to focus on a skill of their choice. Former group mates Hana and Apolline both choose to work on their charisma. Isla's dream is still bothering her but she does her best to focus on rock climbing, while Nyami and Isabella also focus on the same skill in their own rooms. Quetzalli is our first contestant to sharpen her nectar making skill. Little did I know that the skill didn't come with a book so the singer has to get stuck in to practical work.

While Deanna is prepping food for everyone I catch up with her about the dates.

Devin: How did you find the dates today? Two more firsts

Deanna: Honestly? Best of the round so far

Devin: Really?

Deanna: Yes. It was great talking to Quetzalli one on one. Like... a silver level date

Devin: And Isabella?

Deanna: She's so enchanting! Gold level for sure. And I feel like opposites have attracted which I reckon is basically a smitten sentiment

Devin: How did you find it?

Isabella: I mean I'm hot headed and she's cheerful, or maybe it's that I'm ambitious while she's family oriented? But I think the opposites aren't putting us off. Well, it hasn't put me off

Deanna fixed everyone dinner. At this point autonomy is set to full again. Deanna will not start conversations, it's up to contestants. Deanna is locked out of all bedrooms but the rest will have access to beds for sleeping and computer distractions.

Hana: What is... this?

Deanna: It was in the cookbook as "Foraged Feast"

Quetzalli: It tastes pretty good

Apolline: I love the berries

Nyami: I haven't seen mushrooms this big for ages

Isla: You've said you get great food in the jungle though

Isabella: Tartosa gets lots of delicious imports

Isla and Quetzalli deal with the dishes for the night.

Quetzalli: Anyone want to have another go on the karaoke machines

Apolline: Those broken things? I think not

Hana: Relax Line, no one is going to force you to sing again

Deanna: Sorry if you didn't enjoy it, Devin picked the challenge

Isabella: Smart to see how we do in front of an audience

Hana and Apolline head upstairs for some table tennis.

Apolline: Thanks for sticking up for me

Hana: I don't think Quetzalli meant anything bad. She likes singing is all

The pair hug as they become good friends. Downstairs Nyami is having a brief erratic moment...

Isla: Your hair is really nice Deanna

Deanna: Thanks! Wasn't sure about the purple at the start but it's grown on me

It seems the early start is impacting a lot of the group. While Isabella sensibly heads to bed Quetzalli and Apolline find couches to nap on. Hana returns downstairs and joins in talking with Nyami, Isla and Deanna until the day is over.

Beach venue found on the gallery by Chellsdi Villa renovation by @paracosmic-sims

[that-dreaming-dragon]

Putting this in poll format is me being silly. But I want to state a point that still crops up now and again.

If you feel you are/one of your ‘type is experiencing draconity, whether as a full dragon or just some sort of draconic, you are/it is dragon/draconic.

It does NOT matter if your/its origin is from fiction, from myth, local folklore, or a species you made yourself.

It does NOT matter if you are/it is a european, east asian, wyvern, zilant, yinglong, kirin, turtle dragon, lion dragon, and heck komodo dragon.

It does NOT matter if you are/it is humanoid or straight up portion of you are fully human.

You are/it is a dragon if you feel you are/it is.

(Alternatively, your alterhuman identitype is draconic if you feel it counts)

Some more rambling below

“But Ryuu, what constitude as draconity? Doesn’t it mean big and apex predator? Doesn’t it mean powerful? Doesn’t it mean it has to be winged with four limbs—”

Ok stop, just, stop. It’s like asking “what is human” or every variation of that. I met all sorts of dragon, seen many, and there’s far more example even within media and myth of this world and beyond. Many definitely don’t fit the “big, powerful, apex predator”. Heck, I’m a draconic shapeshifter that becomes hamster sized to potentially bigger than a airship, have no breath weapon, and I don’t even prey on other creature! Don’t even get me started on the wyvern discourse.

There are dragons that are like kami—things that invokes awe or reverence.

There are dragons that are “just a little creechur”.

There are dragons that’s wild and theriant*, some are sophont.

There are dragons big and small, colossal or microscopic, physical or purely incorporeal, made of flesh and bones or goo and light matter.

There are dragons in all sorts of biome, have all sorts of diet (yes, even herbivore), some hoard some don’t.

A box with a slanted nostrial and eyes, squiggly smile line as mouth, and it is definitely something draconic, because it is so.

Dragons with feather, fur, fin, frill, crocodilian, webbed paws, hooves, mechanical parts…

Well, you get the point.

A dragon is a dragon is a dragon. Regardless of the shape they took, the features they have, or whatever box you want to put a dragon in.

If it fit, it will sit. It it doesn’t, it’s still going to sit, and break the box while we are at it.

*thiriant: the opposite of sophont, to be “categorised by instinctual, sensory thinking being more dominant”, by @paracosmic-gt

[simscici]

#showusyourcasstyle

Tagged by @matchalovertrait @bloomingkyras 💚

Whose sim closet would you raid? townie, mutual, or your own

Juniper, Penelope (YA), Yellow (YA) by Perolesims, Dulce by Matchalovertrait, Pearl by Mdshh… Well, anyone who knows these characters knows they don’t have the same style lol. I really don’t have a defined personal style. I just go with what looks good to me 😂

What references shaped your CAS style?

Normally, I base it on the Sim’s personality. Penelope is a loner, she loves books, pink, and flowers. So I gave her a cuter, more tropical style. Juniper, on the other hand, is geeky but also a real party girl, so her style is more laid-back, kind of tomboyish. But I also love light clothing and always use it, especially when my Sims become adults.

Favorite swatch? Least favorite swatch?

I love darker colors, and I hate (in-game) very light colors (like white). With strong lighting, the Sim looks like a lightsaber 💀. It drives me nuts. Still, I end up using white a lot lol.

What’s something you always do when styling sims?

Eyelashes, blush, lip gloss, nails, and eyeliner. For me, those are almost sacred. Even when I’m fixing up a random townie, I always add those, even if everything else is from the base game. I always invest in their makeup to make them look presentable.

CAS item you’ll defend with your life?

Glasses. I loved using glasses on Penelope and, believe it or not, she was the first Sim I ever gave glasses to. So even though I don’t use them that often, they’ve become a CAS item I’d defend with my life.

Dream CC collection?

A tropical everyday collection. I’m from a tropical country, so comfort to me means light, breezy clothes lol. But I always find an abundance of CC with long sleeves and pants. That’s why I end up using the same T-shirts and shorts over and over or spend ages trying to find lighter pieces for my Sims. A collection of men’s tropical clothes would also be amazing, since most of what I see is sweaters, jackets, coats.

Do your sims dress for the plot or the screenshot?

My Sims dress for the plot. There are outfits my Sims have that have never shown up in a screenshot, but they’re still in their wardrobes waiting for their moment to shine lol

I tag: @mariapaulaaah @changingplumbob @bakersimmer @mdshh @myopiccc @rosienthe @nova-kim @paracosmic-sims @purplesimmer455 @abbysimsfun @deardiaryts4 @toyuets4 @finchfin @wolkentage @living-undead @vampwan @lilith--simmer 💚

[bellaxgiornata]

Break the Tension [Chapter Four: "Admitting Defeat"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 7.8k [Series Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+; Enemies to lovers, sexual tension, smut, semi-public sex, light angst

a/n: This part is mostly just lots of smut, I'll be honest. Y'all have finally gotten to the smutty bits! But don't worry, there's some angst coming next... Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @danzer8705 @pazii @paracosmic-murdock @xxdrixx @haydensith @mixedfandomthings @lilbanas @dorothleah @kriitiihere @writtenbyred @kezibear @babygirlmurdock

Lying wide awake, Matt ground his teeth together as the scratchy sheets of his bed for the weekend irritatingly rubbed along the skin of his bare forearms. He'd gone to sleep having no choice but to wear a shirt and sweatpants despite how much he hated trying to fall asleep in multiple layers, the confines of the fabric constricting him uncomfortably as he slept. But it was either that or the feel of the manor's cotton sheets against his skin, scratching him like a large sheet of sandpaper. He knew he absolutely wouldn't be able to stand the feel of it all over his body no matter how much he tried to ignore it, so sleeping in clothing was unavoidable this weekend.

Though that wasn't the sole reason he was wide awake while the rest of the bridal party had finally settled into their own rooms for the night after the fire. No, the real reason he couldn't sleep was because of you. Because you were asleep just in the room next to his.

For the past hour now he had tried not to eavesdrop on you in your room–and he had truthfully tried hard. He knew it was wrong, that it was a massive invasion of your privacy. He was also aware of just how pissed off you’d be at him if you ever found out that he had been listening to you like this. But he had also never been quite so close to you before for such an extended period of time, with only a single wall separating the pair of you. And really, there was only so much control that he could realistically exert over his senses, especially after that kiss in the hallway only a few hours ago. He really couldn't stop himself, almost incapable of tuning you out no matter how hard he kept trying. 

It didn't help that the taste of you still lingered on his tongue, driving him wild as he lay there on his back. He had tried to get rid of it when he had aggressively brushed his teeth before bed tonight–twice. But the sweet, delicious memory of something that was so distinctly you remained, overpowering the mint of his toothpaste. And the memory of your soft, delicate lips hungrily kissing him back had driven him nearly delirious. Your hands had so eagerly tangled into his hair when he’d pressed his growing erection into the softness of your thigh as he pushed you back into that wall while simultaneously fighting the urge to devour every inch of you. The smooth warmth of your bare thigh as his hand had snuck its way up beneath your dress in that hallway felt like it was burning his fingertips even now. 

And hell the goddamn scent of your arousal soaking through your panties in that impassioned moment had intoxicated him; it had infected him with a raging desire to have you however he could. You had soaked that thin bit of fabric all because of him . Because you wanted him just as much as he wanted you despite all your arguments trying to convince him otherwise. He still couldn't get the scent of it out of his nose. Even now he could still smell it, the faint scent of it hanging in the air just outside of his room in the hallway hours later. That was yet another reason he lay there clenching his jaw and fisting the sheets, struggling to fight the urge to get out of bed and head over to your room to disturb you at this late hour.

And there you were, innocently lying asleep in the bed just in the room next door. Entirely unaware of the effect you were having on him. As you slept in blissful ignorance, Matt had heard every movement your legs had occasionally made beneath the sheets of your bed, and from the sound they made against the cotton each time, he knew you weren’t wearing any pants. Truthfully it didn't sound like you were wearing much of anything in your bed. And that knowledge had long since sent his blood southward, his cock painfully straining against his confining boxers. 

With every little soft exhale of yours next door that he had unintentionally picked up on, he had kept telling himself that he absolutely should not touch himself. Because that would be wrong, so very, very wrong. But then he recalled the delicious sound of that moan you'd loosed into the hallway when his mouth had been on your skin, the memory echoing through his mind, and he knew he was fighting a losing battle. There was no way this night was going to end without him relieving that desperate, growing need for you that had been tormenting him since you'd first stepped inside the manor earlier this evening and he’d caught the scent of your pheromones once more after all these years. 

Eyes pinching shut, Matt's hand tossed the irritating sheets off of himself in defeat. Reaching down, he palmed his cock over his sweatpants, a faint hiss escaping between his teeth as he did. He was already so aroused that the pressure of his hand through the layers of clothes had him already fighting back a groan. Running his hand lightly along the length of himself over the soft material of his sweatpants, his body gave a slight jolt against the mattress. He was so impossibly sensitive already, struggling under even that slight bit of stimulation. He’d grown so aroused without you even here. It was truly embarrassing how much you turned him into a pathetic mess without even trying. No one had ever had an effect on him like this before. No one. 

The sound of your steady and even heartbeat from the room next door filled his ears as you continued to sleep, but soon all Matt could hear was the frenzied, erratic pounding it had been doing earlier in your chest when he had first put his mouth on yours. Suddenly he was recalling the feel of your blood racing through your veins as your heart had frantically hammered away when he'd trailed his tongue along the delicate skin of your neck. And fuck had he loved the way he'd made your blood rush throughout your body despite all that anger and distaste you constantly threw at him. 

Because you wanted him. Your body hadn't been able to lie to him about that.

With a frustrated groan at the newfound revelation of this evening, Matt's hand rose up before dipping beneath the waistband of both his sweatpants and boxers. As he heard each soft breath from your sleeping form next door, he couldn't help but feel absolutely filthy when he gripped the painfully hard girth of himself in his hand. He could hear a voice in his head chastising himself, pointing out that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be doing this. He was invading your privacy–this was obscene . But yet, as his hand ran up the length of himself, catching the warm dribbles of pre-cum coating the tip of his cock, he couldn't fight the shudder of pleasure as he simultaneously heard you sigh in your sleep.

“ Fucking–hell,” Matt choked out.

And then he was unable to stop himself.

Working his own arousal over the length of himself, Matt's head rolled back along the pillow. Parting his lips a fraction, he could just barely taste the lingering essence of you on his tongue from where it still hung in the air outside of his room. His eyes rolled back behind closed lids, a deep rumble coming from within his chest.

“Always knew it,” he muttered quietly, his hand still stroking himself. “Always knew you'd taste so unbelievably good.”

His tongue darted out, pathetically wetting his lips and hoping for something more of you on them. With a frustrated grimace, a faint whine escaped his mouth as his eyes pinched tighter shut. It was so good, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the actual thing. It wasn’t you .

“That’s only a hint of you, isn’t it?” Matt whispered to your sleeping form next door, hand still pumping his sensitive cock. “Just a faint taste. Not as good as the real thing.”

Of course he knew you couldn't hear him, but part of himself imagined that you could. He wanted to picture you waking up in your room next door, hearing him touching himself to thoughts of you. Gritting his teeth together, his hand tightened around his cock, his pace picking up as his other hand desperately tugged his sweatpants and boxers down his legs and out of his way. 

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?” Matt panted out into the empty room and to your sleeping ears. “Bet you'd just love this right now. Knowing I couldn’t resist jerking off because you were sleeping so close by.”

You shifted beneath the sheets in the other room again, the sound of your bare skin against cotton reminding him of your lack of clothing right now. He bit his lip, trying to quiet a moan as he remembered the soft feel of the inside of your thigh beneath his fingers. Breath still coming in shallow as he worked himself, he imagined being able to pin you to that bed and to kiss that spot on your thigh, running his tongue lightly back and forth along you teasingly. Matt's hips began to buck upwards into his fist as he recalled the moan you'd made earlier. Would that elicit another one from you? Or maybe if he bit the skin there, something rougher and impossible to ignore, would you cry his name out?

Lip curling upwards into something like a snarl, the thought drove him absolutely mad. He could feel the spark of pleasure burning its way up his spine now, something tightening deep in his gut. He was already getting so close, the ache of laying awake wanting you for so long already drawing him so soon to his release.

“Bet I'd–make you cum–,” he grunted out, his words accentuated each time he fucked up into his hand, “just as– ahhh–fast.”

The thought of that–of you writhing on the bed beneath him, your blood coursing hot through your veins, sweat coating your skin, your nails digging into his back as he buried himself deep inside of you over and over–had a low, feral growl rolling up from out of his throat. His cock was throbbing in his grasp now at the sensory overload he was imagining in his head. The sound of your pleasured, breathy moans. The taste and scent of you infiltrating all of his senses, taking over in ways he'd only ever been allowed to imagine. The way you might finally say his name in a trembling, ecstasy-filled whimper.

A pitiful whine fell out of Matt as that wave of pleasure slammed into him hard and fast. Quickly he fought back the loud groan in his throat, the noise coming out like a strangled whimper instead as his warm release began to spill down his hand and over his abdomen, hot droplets falling onto the hem of his shirt. Matt was breathing hard as he worked himself through his release still imagining the sound of you crying his name out in a high-pitched voice. 

It was a moment that Matt lay there on the bed afterwards, trying to catch his breath as the reality of what he'd just done hit him. He'd really jerked off to you sleeping next door like he was a hormonal teenager all over again and unable to control himself. But as much as he wanted to feel guilt and shame as his sweaty chest heaved along the mattress, his tee-shirt clinging to his skin, all he felt was the clarity of what he'd known had been lingering there for a very long time.

Matt liked you. Beneath the desire he'd always secretly harbored for you during your time at Columbia together, he'd always known there was something more holding him back from just laying on the charm and trying to get you to fuck him in the hopes of finally quelling his lust. Besides the fear he'd always had of flirting with you and the scent of your arousal publicly embarrassing him on campus, he'd truly never tried to flirt with you because he’d over time grown feelings for you. Ones he always tried to deny he actually felt because you’d made him feel things no one had ever made him feel before. Not even Elektra had a hold over him like you did when he had met you a year later. And that terrified Matt. He had no idea what to do about the inexplicable pull you had on him.

Releasing a deep, resigned sigh, Matt already knew he wasn't going to survive this weekend with you here. Not without giving in. Especially not after that kiss and what he'd just done in his bed with you asleep next door. He’d only grow nastier and meaner towards you if he tried to keep holding you at a distance.

But maybe it was about time he stopped being so afraid of you. Maybe it was time he admitted defeat and let whatever might possibly happen between you both finally just happen. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…

Leaning forward towards the mirror, you inspected the newly applied makeup on your face. You turned your head back and forth as you examined it in the light, a smile making its way across your lips at a joke a bridesmaid behind you had just made. The sound of laughter broke out a moment later, the noise filling the room.

Satisfied with your appearance, you turned around and made your way over to your small clutch purse that you'd left on a nearby table. You'd brought it with you to the bridal suite earlier this morning when you’d met up with Marci and all the other bridesmaids, planning to keep it with you today to hold everything you might possibly need. You didn’t really want to have to waste time running across the manor grounds and back to your room because you’d forgotten something once the events of the day had really begun.

Beginning to rifle through the purse, you pushed aside your phone, emergency tampons, and lipstick in search of the small bottle of perfume you'd packed this weekend for the wedding. A frown eventually settled on your lips as you searched through your bag as a slow realization hit you. You must have forgotten to put the bottle back in after you'd gotten ready in a hurry last night for the rehearsal dinner. Most likely the bottle was still sitting on your dresser in your room.

“Something wrong?” 

At the sound of the voice you glanced up, spotting the pretty blonde named Karen who you'd met just last night at the fire. She was eyeing you with a slight furrow in her brows and concern in her eyes. Releasing a sigh, your shoulders dropped as you set your bag down.

“Not really,” you told her. “It just seems I left the perfume I wanted to wear back in my room.”

“Oh, well you're welcome to borrow mine if you don't want to go back to your room and grab it,” she offered with a friendly smile. 

Glancing over at Marci where she had been sitting for the past few minutes, you saw the makeup artist beginning to apply a layer of foundation as the photographer continued to snap photos of her. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you contemplated how much longer you had before she would be finished and you'd need to get into your dress and be ready for more photos yourself.

“Do you really think I've got time to run back across this massive place to grab it?” you asked, focusing back on Karen.

She nodded, a few loose blonde curls bouncing with the movement. “I don’t think Marci will be finished for a little while now and the photographer is mostly done with us. I heard them saying they were just grabbing candid shots of Marci getting ready now,” she assured you. “So you've got some time.”

“Alright,” you said slowly, plucking your room key from out of your open purse, “I'm just going to run back to my room and grab that bottle then. In case anyone wonders where I am.”

Karen nodded again, that friendly smile still on her face. “I'll let Marci know!” she told you.

You shot Karen a brief smile of your own before turning on your heels. Making your way across the room, you quickly headed over towards the door of the bridal suite. Pulling it open, you slipped out into the hallway before carefully closing the door after yourself. Not wanting to waste any time, you turned to your right and headed down the length of the hall and back towards the manor's foyer. 

As you walked, your heels clicked along the beautiful floor, your hands self-consciously tightening the tie of your lavender robe around yourself. Marci had wanted all of you to stay in the matching robes for photos while you all got ready, but now that you were wandering the halls of the manor, you had become very aware of the fact that you were only wearing a bra and panties beneath the thin, short material. By the time you’d finally entered the main foyer of the building, the cold of the manor's air conditioning had already chilled your mostly bare skin beneath the robe. 

At the sound of booming laughter echoing from down a nearby hallway, the noise growing louder than the sound of your own heels, you picked up your pace and began to walk a little faster. The laughter had sounded like it had come from Foggy and his groomsmen who you knew were getting ready in a room somewhere across the manor from where the bride and bridesmaids were spending the morning. Not wanting to be caught up in an unexpected conversation in your current state of undress, you rushed down the now familiar hall which led towards the bedrooms, your arms awkwardly wrapping around your chest. You just wanted to grab your perfume and get back to the bridal suite, feeling rather uncomfortable roaming the halls barely dressed. At least being around the other bridesmaids who were also in their robes didn't make you feel so out of place. 

But as you rushed down the hall, your eyes inevitably fell upon that spot.

Your heels faltered along the floor, the uneven sound of their clacking hitting your ears before you briefly came to a stop. It was the same spot where Matt had grabbed you by the arm last night and pushed you up against the wall, caging you between his muscular arms and calling for a truce. A sharp breath escaped your lips as you recalled the way his mouth had felt on yours soon after, one hand absently reaching up and brushing the tips of your fingers over your bottom lip at the memory. 

Matt Murdock was a good kisser, you couldn't deny that. 

Though you'd been confused about the way he'd made you feel last night. He was the cocky asshole who'd made your time at Columbia torture. The guy who'd only ever teased you and turned law school into a competition with you. The guy who'd grown a reputation on campus as charming and sexy but yet only ever showed you a side that was rude and unbearable. He shouldn't have gotten your blood so heated with such minimal effort last night. Not after what he'd put you through for all those years. 

There was absolutely no way he should have left you wondering if you might have had a crush on him. The thought was absolutely ridiculous. He was nothing other than a fuckboy in college, and with the way he’d apparently gone after Karen, his own firm’s employee, he had made it seem like that was something that had never changed about him.

But yet–

With a firm shake of your head, you forced your feet to carry you forward the few more steps towards your room. Roughly sticking the key into the door's lock, you pushed your thoughts aside. Today was Marci and Fog's wedding day. You weren't going to waste anymore energy thinking about Matt or why your body had reacted to him like it had last night. Or why you'd wanted things to go much further than they had.

You pushed the door of your room open, stepping inside and only lightly tossing the door shut after yourself. Though you knew it hadn't fully closed, your ears catching the way the door hadn't solidly shut like it usually did. But your focus was elsewhere at the moment as your eyes darted to the dresser situated across from the bed. The little glass bottle of perfume you'd been looking for sat there innocently in front of the mirror. 

Crossing the room in a handful of strides, you came to a stop in front of the dresser and reached a hand out to grab the perfume. Though as your hand wrapped around the little glass bottle, you caught the wash of light that flooded your bedroom from the hallway as your door swung open. Your head quickly darted over your shoulder before your eyes grew wide in surprise. Matt was standing in the threshold, his cane gripped tight in one hand as he focused his attention towards you, his red lenses blocking your view of his eyes. You felt the way your pulse skipped at his sudden appearance, especially with how little you were wearing in comparison to his dark sweatpants and gray tee-shirt. 

“I think you have the wrong room, Murdock,” you said, tone more breathless than irritated. 

He shook his head as he stepped further into your room, boldly closing the door behind himself. This time it shut with an unmistakeable click . You swallowed hard, feeling your heart beginning to beat a little faster in your chest at the prospect of being alone with him once more. What was he even doing here? He was supposed to be getting ready with the other groomsmen.

“No,” he replied, voice low as he shook his head. “I don't.”

He began to make his way towards you through the room, moving far better than you'd ever seen him navigate a space before without the use of his cane in his hand. As if he'd somehow already mapped out your room in his mind just from the singular time he'd been in it. Though your thoughts didn't linger on that for long, too distracted by the determined and purposeful strides he was taking towards you now. Releasing the bottle of perfume, you turned entirely towards him. But as he continued to silently advance on you, your breath increasing, you took a step back until your body was pressing back against the dresser, leaving you trapped between him and the piece of furniture.

Eventually he came to a stop just before you, silently resting his cane against the edge of the dresser a few inches to your right. Trying to steady yourself, both of your hands dropped down beside your hips and clutched at the wooden piece of furniture behind you as your attention dropped down to his lips. You hated how you were already thinking about them on you.

“What’re you doing here, Murdock?” you asked, eyes still transfixed by his mouth.

“Heard you were in the hall,” he vaguely answered. “And I wanted to talk to you. Alone.”

For a moment he stood there before you, only a foot of space separating the pair of you. The edge of the dresser was biting into your ass with how much you’d tried to shrink yourself back into it. The expression on Matt’s face, from what you could see of it with his dark glasses still on, didn’t look remotely teasing. Instead, there was something unreadable to the set of his brow and the curve of his lips. And his sudden, unannounced appearance in your room right now had you even more uncertain of how to respond to him and the silent way he was practically looming over you.

“I thought we’d–we’d called a truce last night,” you reminded him. “You can’t just–just come barging into my room like this. And today really isn’t the day for you to try to start shit with me because it’s our friends’ wedding day, Murdock. We need to try to get along today so as to not ruin–”

As you spoke, Matt had closed the remaining bit of space between the pair of you. His hands landed on the dresser beside both of yours, his fingers just barely brushing yours in the process and catching you off guard. Immediately you’d lost your train of thought at the light touch, a surprised gasp cutting you off mid-sentence.

“I know that,” he murmured, drawing his face far too close to yours. “I’m not here to fight.”

Finding it hard to breathe with his face mere inches from yours, you swallowed hard once more. Your pulse was pounding in your throat now, you could feel each thudding beat of it.

“Then what are you doing?” you asked him.

“You said last night,” Matt began, his voice a deep rumble that had the hairs along your forearm raising, “that nothing would go further between us unless I admitted something to you. Is that correct?”

Eyebrows shooting up onto your forehead in surprise, your eyes widened back at him. Was he really about to admit that you were right, then?

“Yes,” you answered.

The corner of his lip twitched upwards briefly, one of his shoulders shrugging lightly. “Well,” he said, “that’s why I’m here.”

Breath catching in your throat, you stood entirely still in front of him. One of Matt’s warm hands gently slid atop yours, completely engulfing it. You felt lightheaded as you watched him, not sure how the man who’d been so rude to you for years was having such an effect on you or why you didn’t want it to stop.

“You were right,” he admitted softly. “I have always wanted you. I still do.”

A spark of something white hot shot through you at the sound of him admitting you were right for once coupled with his surprising confession. You caught the way his head tilted ever so slightly to the side seconds later, but all you could focus on was the heat quickly burning through you, warming your chilled skin beneath your robe as your focus returned to his mouth.

So you’d been right all along. For some reason Matthew Murdock had always wanted to fuck you, despite the way he’d always treated you in the past. Despite all the snide remarks and competitive taunts during your time in college. And now here he was, finally admitting it aloud. And the power you gained from his admission and from hearing him admit that you were right for once was exhilarating, hitting you with a sudden confidence. 

“Can’t stop thinking about me then, Murdock?” you teased, unable to help yourself.

You saw the way his jaw clenched, his hand that was covering yours soon tightening around it. Satisfaction along with arousal soon flooded your body at his response to your teasing. His nostrils flared, a sharp exhale leaving his nose. Your hips lightly squirmed along the dresser at the sight.

“No,” he confessed. 

Leaning in a fraction towards him, your mouth so close to his, you caught the way he stiffened at your proximity. A smile spread across your lips in return, enjoying this moment far too much.

“Prove it then,” you whispered.

Matt’s lip curled back into something like a snarl, the tension visibly showing in his shoulders. A noise vibrated deep within his throat, something like a frustrated growl that had your hips shifting against the dresser behind you yet again. He looked about ready to lunge at you, though he was clearly struggling to hold himself back. The sight of him beginning to unravel only had you biting your lip, trying to keep the smile on your face from growing even wider. You hadn’t anticipated having such an effect on him.

“Is that your permission then?” he asked, voice strained. 

“Yeah,” you answered smugly, drawing your face away from his and delighting in the way his lips thinned out. “You say you want me, Murdock? I want you to prove it. But can I make a request?” you asked curiously.

“What?” he immediately questioned back. 

Your left hand reached up towards his face before your fingertips gently tapped the side of his glasses. “I ask that these go. No hiding behind them.”

Without a word his hand rose up, grabbing the glasses from off the bridge of his nose and sliding them down and off of his face. As he leaned over to set them along the dresser and out of the way beside you, you realized this was the first time you’d ever seen him without them. Not only did it fully hit you just how attractive he was without them obstructing part of his face, but it hit you just how vulnerable he must’ve just made himself to you by removing them. Something you weren’t entirely sure what to make of in the moment, especially considering the history you had with him.

But you didn’t have long to wonder about that because Matt’s hands were soon on you, brushing along the thin fabric covering you before he easily found the tie of your robe. His fingers began to deftly undo the knot as your hands still tightly gripped the edge of the dresser. 

“Wasn’t expecting you to be wearing so little already,” he mused. “But I’m not complaining.”

“You’re a bit overdressed, though,” you shot back.

The first cocky smile of his finally spread across his mouth at your comment, but he only shook his head as he finally undid the knot of your robe. The material fell open around you, revealing yourself to him and the cold of the room.

“You’re the one wanting me to prove something to you, right?” he retorted. “This time it isn’t about me.”

Your head curiously tilted to the side at his words, eyes narrowing. “This time?” you asked him. 

His hands were on your hips, gripping them tight over the fabric of your robe. A surprised yelp slipped out of your mouth when he abruptly lifted you up in his hands, raising you onto the dresser behind you. Your hands gripped the furniture harder as you tried to steady yourself, not wanting to slip off of it at the unexpected shift in position. Matt’s hands didn’t even hesitate; they soon left your hips before sensually sliding their way up the tops of your bare thighs as he positioned his body between them. As his hands navigated their way upwards towards your panties, he bit his lip, his eyes tightening at the corners as if he was already enjoying himself.

“I’ve got a feeling this won’t be the only time,” he replied.

“So sure of yourself, are you, Murdock?” you shot back.

“Mmm,” he hummed out, his fingertips slipping beneath the top of your lacy black underwear. “Mhmm. And I’m certain that won’t be the name you’re using for much longer.”

“And what makes you–” 

You abruptly broke off on a gasp as Matt’s hands began to slide your underwear down your thighs, his face dipping down as his teeth gently nipped at your exposed collarbone. Gradually his lips began placing light kisses down your sternum as you felt your panties slip over your feet and drop to the floor below you. 

“What makes you so sure of that?” you finished breathlessly.

“Because I know what I’m doing,” he answered against your chest.

You pulled a face, immediately rolling your eyes as his lips continued trailing the length of your sternum. Of course he was going to be cocky about this, you should’ve known that. This was the guy you’d referred to as Manwhore Murdock a few times back in college. But before you could open your mouth and make a witty retort of your own, his hands landed on your knees before abruptly spreading them wide. Lips parting in surprise, you watched as he sank to his own knees before you. As he sidled his way forward and positioned himself between your legs, his sightless gaze made its way upwards towards your chest. You could feel your heart still beating furiously away as you stared down at him below you, the sight of him there doing so many wonderful and unexplainable things to your body. 

“You’re enjoying this already,” Matt stated.

It wasn’t a question. And he wasn’t wrong. And part of you wanted to smack him for that.

Tongue darting out between your lips, your eyes once more narrowed at him below you. His own gaze seemed to fix further upwards towards your mouth at the gesture, as if he somehow knew what you were doing. Overcome by a sudden confidence of your own when his large hands landed on your thighs and gripped them tight, fingers digging into your flesh, the smug comment flew out of you before you could stop it.

“Aren’t you supposed to be proving something?” you pointed out. “Because right now it feels like you’re stalling. And if you’ve forgotten already, we sort of have a wedding to finish getting ready for.”

A dark look washed over Matt’s face instantly at your words. His hands on your thighs abruptly pulled you forward to the edge of the dresser and right towards him unbelievably fast. The restrained strength at the gesture wiped the smug smile directly off of your face just before Matt’s head shifted, his mouth beginning to trail open-mouthed kisses up the inside of your left thigh, beginning at your knee.

By the time his mouth had reached the inside of your thigh, his tongue softly lapping at a particularly sensitive place, your right hand had loosened its hold on the dresser. Instead, you’d reached out, grabbing onto his firm, muscular shoulder and digging your nails into the meat of it. Your breath was coming in sharp, shallow pants that were filling the room, your cunt begging for attention as Matt only ignored it for the delicate skin of your thigh.

The rough stubble of his face was pleasantly scratching along your skin as he continued his leisurely attentions to that particularly sensitive spot. Though every so often you’d hear him emit a rumbling noise in his chest, something akin to an animalistic growl. For some reason the sound was the opposite of off-putting. Every time you heard it, the blunt nails of his fingers digging into your thighs, you found yourself growing wetter and wetter. You were certain a pool of your arousal had to have been forming along the dresser by now–something you’d have been embarrassed about if you hadn’t been enjoying yourself so much.

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” Matt confessed in a near-whisper, his lips leaving your skin as his eyes landed around your chest once more. “I’ve wanted to taste you for so long. Never thought I would.”

You were taken entirely off guard by the honesty in his tone and the sincere expression on his face. Right now, with his eyes dropping closed and his cheeks flushed pink, he looked nothing like the Matt Murdock you’d always known. Instead, he looked just as you remembered him looking last night when you’d pulled away from him during that kiss. 

Something about his visible vulnerability right now struck you as odd. You'd never seen him anything other than self-assured, smug, and irritating. But when Matt’s face turned again and you felt the wet tip of his tongue brush faintly over your clit, the thought completely left you. Head rolling back over your shoulders, your mind went entirely blank as you released a soft curse into the room.

“That’s it,” Matt praised, hot breath hitting your cunt as he spoke. “Don’t fight it.”

You felt the warm heat of his tongue lapping at your entrance next, your hand tightening around his shoulder as you squeezed your eyes even further shut. The noises he was soon making were filthy and delicious as they mixed with the soft squelch of your wet cunt, his tongue gingerly diving in and out of you repeatedly. He sounded like he was enjoying the best meal of his life as he loudly groaned against you, the sounds causing your hips to eagerly squirm atop the dresser. But the weight of his hands on your thighs only pressed down further, continuing to hold you firm to the dresser beneath you so you couldn't move no matter how much you struggled against him. 

When his tongue ran its way back up towards your clit, lightly circling the sensitive bundle of nerves, your right hand released his shoulder and came to grab a fistful of his hair. With a throaty growl Matt responded by latching his beautiful plush lips to the little bud and sucking it into his mouth. White flashed across your closed lids, your back arching as a moan flew up out of you at the pleasure he was bringing you with just his skilled mouth.

You were so overcome with blissful ecstasy that you’d stopped trying to fight back all of the noises that his mouth alone was drawing forth from you. A light sheen of sweat had formed along your brow as the obscene sounds filled the space around you. A part of you was vaguely aware that anyone in the hall would surely hear something going on in your room right now, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. No one had ever made you feel even a fraction this good before and now you were lost in the moment here with Matt. 

As your legs began to tremble along the surface of the dresser, you knew you were nearing your climax. You could feel it growing, building tighter and tighter deep in your stomach with every pass of his tongue, every suction of his lips on you. You hadn’t even realized what had slipped out of your mouth until it finally had.

“Oh, Matthew.”

Nothing could have prepared you for the way his hands had savagely gripped you even more firmly in his hold at the way you’d moaned his name. Somehow he managed to bury his face even further into your cunt with the loudest, hungriest moan. With an enthusiasm you'd never experienced in a partner before, Matt's mouth determinedly brought you to the brink. 

Toes curling inside of your heels, your fingers clenched around the strands of his hair as your head dropped back over your shoulders. A surge of pleasure shot through you as you came hard on his mouth. Biting your lip in an attempt to keep quiet, you fought back a cry that had surprised even yourself as you reached your peak before tumbling right over it. Your entire body quaked, your muscles tensing as Matt’s mouth only continued its determined efforts while your thighs clamped around his face.

Eventually your body steadily and blissfully sunk forward, limbs feeling leaden from the intense orgasm Matt had just given you–one like you'd never experienced before. But as you struggled to catch your breath, you saw Matt’s face turn towards the inside of your left thigh before his wet mouth buried itself against your skin. His face contorted, twisting in sheer pleasure as a moan unexpectedly dragged its way long and slow from his throat, the sound somewhat muffled by your thigh. 

Still breathing heavily, you gazed down at Matt where he was still kneeling between your legs. From the way he was resting his forehead against your thigh, his own chest heaving after the pleasure-filled moan he’d just made, along with the blissed out expression on what you could see of his face, it appeared that he'd also just gotten off. His eyelids remained closed as you untangled your fingers from his hair, your hand once more coming to grasp onto the dresser beneath you as you studied him on his knees before you. Brows knitting faintly together, the question sprung from your mouth before you could stop it.

“Did you really just…get off from that?” you asked.

You'd had partners in the past who'd been willing and occasionally even eager when it came to performing oral before, but never did you have a partner who might have actually enjoyed themselves so much that they had gotten off simultaneously without any further stimulation of their own. Something unfamiliar stirred within you at the prospect that he might have done just that.

Matt cleared his throat at your question though, drawing you back to the present as an almost sheepish expression crossed his face when he pulled away from your thigh. His eyes remained downcast as he rose back up to his feet before taking a noticeable step back from where you still sat on the dresser. With him standing, your eyes inevitably lowered, catching sight of the decent sized wet patch that was now darkening the front of his sweatpants. Bottom lip slipping between your teeth, you found yourself fighting down another wave of arousal at the sight. 

He’d definitely cum from just eating you out.

“I uh…that usually isn't the case,” he muttered awkwardly. “Normally that doesn't–doesn't happen. I just–” 

He stood there floundering for a moment, his mouth opening and closing. Clearing his throat awkwardly once more, he took a step forward towards the dresser, one hand feeling along the surface for where he had set his glasses in clear embarrassment. Reaching a hand out, you picked them up and brought them over to his searching one.

“Here,” you said.

You watched as he slipped them back onto his nose, frowning a little as they once more obstructed the handsome features of his face. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Tongue darting out, you wet your lips as you stared curiously back at him. “So you really are attracted to me then, aren't you?” you suddenly asked. 

“Look, if you're going to make this a thing,” Matt began in a rush, “I might remind you of the truce we made for the sake of the wedding today.”

You shook your head quickly, gradually sliding down from off of the dresser. Pulling the robe back around yourself, you began to tie it closed once more. 

“I'm not making it a thing,” you assured him, bending down and retrieving your panties from the floor. “It's just…no one's ever gotten off while doing that with me before,” you admitted. “And if I'm being honest, I found it kind of hot that you enjoyed yourself that much. It was…unexpected.”

His covered gaze focused around your chest, his head tilting to the side for a moment as he studied you in silence. Nervously you gnawed your bottom lip, not sure how to proceed in this strange situation you'd found yourself in with Matt as you slipped your panties back on. Part of you couldn't believe you'd just confessed that to him, though most of you was still a little in shock that you'd even let him of all people do what he'd just done– and that you'd liked it as much as you had.

“We should–should probably get back to our friends, though,” you pointed out, remembering that you'd certainly taken longer in your room than you'd meant to by now. “Pretty sure my absence has to have become noticeable at this point.”

Matt sent you a small smile, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, you're probably right. Guess it's a good thing my room is just next door.”

You leaned over, grabbing his cane from where it was still resting against the dresser in one hand before grabbing the bottle of perfume that you’d actually come back to your room for in the other. “You might want this,” you said, turning back towards Matt and holding his cane out to him.

Matt extended his arm in your direction and you placed the cane into his awaiting hand. He smiled and sent you a soft ‘thank you’ in return before he began fiddling with it in his hands, twisting it awkwardly. For a moment you just watched him, in awe at the side of Matthew Murdock you'd never really seen before, a side where he almost appeared out of place and slightly timid. It made him seem vastly less intimidating.

“I don't know about you, but this isn't exactly how I saw this weekend going when I was told you were going to be here,” you admitted.

“Well, that makes two of us,” Matt agreed.

He turned and began to make his way back towards the door, his cane tapping along the floor as he moved this time. You quickly followed after him, your heart beating a little harder from your own nerves now, uncertain what to make of what had just transpired between you both. 

When he reached the door that led back to the hallway, you hurriedly stepped in front and opened it for him. Though, before either of you stepped out, you certainly paused and made sure to do a quick sweep of the hallway first, scanning it for witnesses. Thankfully it was empty.

“So is it safe to assume we're keeping this just between us?” you asked him, moving out of the doorway.

Matt's head shifted over his shoulder, his attention fixed on you. His lips curled into a faint smile as he gave you a single nod. “If that's what you want.”

You shrugged, one hand still holding onto the handle of your door. “Might be easier to avoid the interrogation we'd find ourselves in the middle of otherwise this weekend,” you replied.

“Then my lips are sealed,” he assured you.

Matt stepped out into the hallway before immediately turning and heading towards his room next to yours. You stepped out into the hallway after him, closing the door to your room behind yourself as you did. 

“Guess I'll see you in a bit then, Murdock,” you told him. “For the ceremony.”

Matt abruptly stopped mid-step, his head darting over his shoulder towards you once again as he paused in front of the door to his room. The familiar cocky grin you were used to was drawn across his lips now, all timidity gone. 

“Back to Murdock already?” he asked.

“So it seems,” you answered with a grin. “For now.”