#parody account

[liberalsarecool]

Trump loves the blood money 🪚. Republicans love the hypocrisy.

[hypertana-posts]

Can Katana do the griddy?!

OOC: god forbid I ever touch the internet again after making this. I'm an artist. I can make. Anything.

"GO GAY BOY GO!!!"

OOC: Shuriken probably taught him.

[buster-rocket-here]

KISS MY ASS!!

DIE

[iamzimandnormal]

I AM ZIM!! AND SO VERY HUMAN AM I….YES.. FOLLOW ZIM NOW (AND BLOCK THAT DIB)

[ask-attendant-heert]

If you are reading this message and your initials are SK, know that I see you waving outside and am under direct orders not to make eye contact with you.

Also know that I have a bucket of water balloons by my desk.

Lastly, know that if I throw a water balloon, I do not miss.

- Attendant L. Heert

[arthursisland]

Me and the gang!

[somadatme]

you know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold

[subspace-t-mine]

life or bath for dry subspace.

Life...??

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Imperial Officers with Realistic Lifestyles Only - Rebel Scum and Captain Needa DNI

[superior-v-model]

Some bitch broke into my palace and kicked my ass They looked like me but blue If anyone knows that son of a bitch tell them that I'm holding a grudge

[cursedgarbage]

You know Riley, right? Well, one day they just stopped respond and do stuff, I seriously don't know what is happening, I'm worried.

[colepic-the-collector]

Has Colette been freed from her capture of Belle yet?

No, she said that she would give me my phone back if I was a good noodle, but almost everything I do makes me a bad noodle in her eyes.

She does give me gold stars if I behave! :3 I even have more stars than Sam :D

[hypertana-posts]

katana are you cracked at mario kart

"He just started playing this game and got first, 5 races in a row."

[buster-rocket-here]

HEY SWORD!! MIND TELLING ME WHERE MARSH IS?

@all-mighty-axle-arc

[abstergo-industries-hr]

Hey, uh, Abstergo,

I know we’re supposed to use this for professional stuff, and we’ve gotten into trouble for not doing that, but I need help with something.

I showed up to work this morning and this was at my desk. I don’t get it—it looks like a salad with knives on them. Did I miss something? I mean, I guess I was an hour late but I got into an argument on Reddit and I had to win that.

Are these even real knives? They look….OWWW! I NEED A BAND-AID!!! OWWWW!!

- Intern Jaxon

He really is the dumbest person here.

- Intern Aliyah

[ask-attendant-heert]

At the ISB, I have the privilege of working with a large team and encountering a number of personalities. It's one of the many things I love about my job. In addition to Supervisor Meero, I am assisting twelve different officers for various tasks.

Today, I started working with Director Orson Krennic. My day begun when he pointed at the empty caf machine and yelled at me "Are you blind?" as a way to request a refill. I appreciate his passion about having things done in a timely manner and believe this will be a good learning opportunity.

I love my job. I really do.

Sending good vibes and glory to the Empire!

Most Sincerely, Attendant Heert ISB Central Office, Coruscant