#part 1/3

[cursio-neptune]

The Sun - Part 1/3

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If you missed it, Sun's awareness of the Fourth Wall was established in Sun, Are You Okay? Sun mentioned Eclipse and Moon don't have the same awareness in Crossover 5 Part 2/2.

[hannie-roses]

Twisted fates and dark temptation

Pairing: Heeseung x fem!reader

Synopsis: Heeseung, a cold and ruthless mafia boss, has always kept emotions out of his brutal world until he meets Y/N, a smart innocent woman who unexpectedly captures his attention. Drawn to her innocence yet defiant spirit, Heeseung finds himself torn between pulling her closer and keeping her away from the dangers that surround him. As Y/N becomes entangled in his dark world, both must confront enemies, betrayals, and the shadows of Heeseung’s past. In a game of power, obsession, and forbidden desire, will she be the one to break down his walls, or will his darkness destroy them both?

Genre: romantic suspense,dark romance, crime fiction (they aren’t exactly chapters but I wrote chapter 1,2 etc so that there are placeholders if you aren’t reading it all at once and you’ll know where you left off)

Chapter 1

Heeseung’s POV

The room reeked of sweat, blood, and desperation. Another pathetic man knelt before me, hands tied behind his back, his face swollen from the beating he’d already taken. He sputtered some excuse something about bad luck and debts unpaid but he wasn’t in the mood to hear it. He leaned back in his chair, the cold weight of the gun in his hand a familiar comfort.

“You had one job.” His voice is calm, almost bored, as he watched him squirm on the dirty floor. “One job, and you still managed to screw it up.”

The man whimpered, blood dripping from his split lip. “Please, I-I just need more time!”

“Time.” They all begged for more time, as if it would change anything. He tilted his head, his finger lazily brushing the trigger. The click echoed through the room, making the man flinch, though he hadn’t fired yet. He liked watching people squirm before they met their end. Fear was the greatest truth.

“You think time will save you?” He said, his tone sharpening. “If I let one rat get away with this, what message does that send?”

The man’s breathing quickened, his eyes darting to the others in the room two of heeseungs men, standing silent with their guns holstered, waiting for his orders. They knew better than to interfere. He is the one who gave life or dealt death in this place. And mercy? That is not his style.

He stood slowly, the scrape of the chair legs on the concrete floor unnervingly loud. The man on the ground tried to shuffle backward, but his restraints stopped him. He towers over him, pressing the muzzle of the gun against his temple.

“You should’ve thought about time before you crossed me.”

Before he could beg again, he pulled the trigger. The sound of the gunshot was deafening in the small room, the body slumping lifelessly to the floor. Blood splattered across his shoes, warm and wet, but he didn’t flinch. He holstered the gun, turning to his men.

“Clean it up.” His voice was cold, emotionless, like the bullet he just fired.

As they moved to drag the body away, he pulled out his phone, already switching gears to the next task. There was always more work to be done, more debts to collect, more enemies to crush. But something gnawed at me a restlessness, a sense that all this was becoming too predictable.

And then he saw her name on my phone screen on social media. Y/N.

The corner of his mouth twitched, an involuntary reaction that surprised him. He wasn’t sure if it was amusement or curiosity or something far more dangerous. Either way, she has his attention. And in his world, that could either protect you or destroy you.

He tucks the phone away, a dangerous glint in his eyes. One thing was certain. Y/N was about to find out what happens when a man like him takes an interest.

And not everyone survives that kind of attention.

Heeseung’s POV Chapter 2

He sat in his dimly lit office, a glass of whiskey in one hand, the other scrolling mindlessly through social media. It was a distraction, a way to clear his mind after another brutal day in the unforgiving world of the mafia. He didn’t expect to find anything of interest, but then her name caught his eye Y/N.

Her profile picture was vibrant, a shot of her laughing with friends at a café, the sunlight catching the warmth in her eyes. Something shifted inside me as I took in her smile, a rare flicker of intrigue cutting through the usual monotony of my life. I clicked on her profile, my curiosity piqued.

As he scrolled through her posts, he felt a strange sensation he hadn’t experienced in years a mix of fascination and longing. Each image painted a picture of a life so different from his own, filled with color, laughter, and an innocence he had long since lost. She looked carefree, blissfully unaware of the darkness lurking just outside her frame.

He leaned back in his chair, the glass of whiskey forgotten as he studied her every post. There were pictures of her hiking, enjoying time with friends, and one in particular caught his eye. her standing in front of the café he had passed earlier, the very place he first noticed her. The thought of her serving coffee while he operated in the shadows felt like a cruel juxtaposition.

This girl intrigued him, and he needed to know more. He waved for Jin, one of my most trusted men, to come into the room. “Get your laptop,” I ordered. “I want to know everything about her.”

Jin’s brow furrowed in confusion. “About who, boss?”

“Y/N. I saw her on social media.”

His expression shifted to understanding, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. “You want me to dig into her life?”

“Don’t make it weird,” he snapped, the irritation rising. “I just want her background. Where she works, who her friends are, any connections. I need to know what I’m dealing with.”

“Sure thing.” Jin nodded, moving quickly to fetch his laptop. As he set it down, he couldn’t help but feel a strange anticipation creeping in.

While he started searching, he returned his attention to her profile. His mind raced with thoughts of how someone like her could fit into his world. He wasn’t sure if he was inviting danger or simply seeking a distraction, but he had to admit the idea of getting closer to her thrilled him in ways he hadn’t expected.

The screen lit up with details as Jin began compiling information. “Y/N works at a café downtown,” he said, reading from the screen. “She’s been there for a couple of years. No criminal background, clean slate.”

He couldn’t shake the sense of satisfaction that washed over him. She was untainted, untouched by the violence that enveloped his life. “And her friends? Family?”

“Just a small group, mostly from college. No red flags so far.”

He leaned back, contemplating the implications. Y/N was a breath of fresh air in his otherwise suffocating existence. He could pull her into my world, or he could keep her at arm’s length, safe from his darkness. But the thrill of the chase ignited a hunger within him, one he hadn’t felt in years.

“Keep an eye on her,”he instructed. “I want to know when she’s working and when she’s not.”

Jin nodded, already typing away. “You got it, boss.”

As he watches him, he felt a sense of purpose sharpening within himself. Y/N was just a girl in a café, but she had sparked something deep in his chest an urge to protect her, to possess her. And while he understood the danger that accompanied that desire, he couldn’t bring himself to back down.

She is about to find out what it means to catch the interest of a man like him, and he is ready to ensure she would never forget it.

Chapter 3

Heeseung sat in the back of his black SUV, parked across the street from a small café that had never once interested him until now. His eyes were fixed on the window, watching as she moved behind the counter, completely unaware of the predator lurking in the shadows.

Y/N.

He had learned everything about her in less than twenty-four hours. Her full name, her address, her work schedule, even the names of the people she surrounded herself with. She was normal painfully so. No criminal record, no ties to anything remotely dangerous. A simple girl living a simple life.

She shouldn’t have caught his attention. And yet, she did.

“Boss,” Jay, his most trusted man, spoke up from the driver’s seat, eyeing him through the rearview mirror. “What’s the plan with this girl?”

Heeseung didn’t look away from the café. “I don’t know yet.”

Jay sighed, as if already regretting whatever was about to happen. “You know this isn’t like you. You don’t get involved with people like her.”

That was true. Heeseung’s world didn’t allow for innocence. Everything he touched was tainted, and Y/N was as pure as they came. But maybe that was exactly why he couldn’t let her go.

“Since when have I cared about what’s like me?” he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Heeseung wasn’t a patient man. He had waited long enough.

For days, he had watched Y/N monitored her every move, learned her schedule, studied the way she interacted with people. She was predictable, moving through life with a kind of carefree innocence that didn’t belong in his world.

But it wasn’t just innocence that surrounded her. It was men.

And that was something Heeseung wouldn’t tolerate.

Each time his men reported back to him, there was always some new name. A coworker laughing too long at her jokes. A customer trying to flirt while she smiled politely. A friend from college who had the audacity to walk her home the other night.

His grip on his glass tightened as he sat in his dimly lit office, Jin standing across from him with his laptop open, running through the latest updates.

“She went out for drinks after work tonight,” Jin reported. “Just with a few friends one guy, two girls.”

Heeseung’s jaw clenched. “The guy?”

Jin hesitated. “Coworker. Name’s Daeho. Seems harmless.”

Heeseung scoffed. “Harmless?” His lips curled in distaste. “Did he touch her?”

Jin exhaled through his nose, already knowing where this was going. “No.”

Heeseung leaned back in his chair, tilting his head slightly as he stared at the screen. There was a photo grainy surveillance footage from outside the bar. Y/N laughing. Daeho sitting too damn close.

Heeseung’s fingers twitched. He could already imagine how easy it would be to take care of the problem. A clean shot, a sudden disappearance, nothing traced back to him.

He had done it before. He’d do it again.

“Where is he now?” Heeseung asked, his voice deadly calm.

Jin hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Still at the bar.”

A slow smirk spread across Heeseung’s lips. “Not for long.”

It is too easy.

Chapter 4

Daeho is drunk, stumbling out of the bar alone, oblivious to the fact that he had just made the worst mistake of his life getting too close to something that belonged to Heeseung.

The alley was dark. Isolated. Perfect.

Heeseung stepped out of the shadows just as Daeho reached for his phone, his sluggish movements making him an easy target.

“Looking for something?” Heeseung’s voice was smooth, cold.

Daeho blinked, turning toward him with bleary eyes. “Who-..?”

The words barely left his mouth before Heeseung struck, slamming him against the brick wall. A strangled gasp escaped Daeho’s lips as Heeseung pressed a gun to his ribs, tilting his head slightly.

“You like Y/N?” he asked casually.

Daeho’s expression twisted in confusion. “What?”

Heeseung’s grip tightened. “I asked you a question.”

“N-No-..I mean, she’s just a friend—”

Wrong answer.

The gunshot was muffled, silenced by the suppressor Heeseung had fitted onto the barrel. Daeho barely had time to react before his body slumped, lifeless, onto the pavement.

Heeseung stepped back, wiping his hands on his coat before glancing down at the mess he had just made. Jin would handle the cleanup.

For now, Heeseung has more important things to take care of.

Like finally meeting Y/N properly.

Because she is his.

And it is time time she knows it.

Chapter 5

Y/N has no idea what just happened.

She is still at the bar with her friends, completely unaware that Daeho is never making it home tonight. Heeseung sits in the back of his SUV, parked just down the street, watching through tinted windows as she laughs at something one of the girls says.

She looks untouched. Untainted.

For now.

Jin sits in the passenger seat, checking his phone. “Cleanup’s done. No trace left behind.”

Heeseung nods, barely listening. His focus is entirely on her. On how unaware she is of the danger lurking so close. He finds it amusing how easily she moves through life, thinking she is safe

The following day Y/N steps into the café, completely unaware that Heeseung is already waiting for her.

He sits in the farthest booth, fingers tapping against the polished wood, eyes trained on her the second she walks through the door. She doesn’t notice him at first, too focused on tying her apron, greeting her coworkers, falling into her routine like it’s just another normal morning.

But the moment she turns, she feels it.

Her body tenses, like some invisible force is pressing down on her, her instincts flaring before she even understands why. And then her gaze meets his.

Recognition flickers in her eyes. She knows who he is.

Of course she does. Everyone in this city knows Lee Heeseung.

A slow smirk tugs at his lips as he leans back, tilting his head slightly, watching her reaction. She doesn’t look away. A quiet kind of tension settles between them, a thread of unease mixed with curiosity.

She grips the counter. “Can I get you anything?”

Her voice is steady, but her fingers twitch slightly against the smooth surface. Heeseung notices everything.

He keeps his eyes on her, voice smooth and slow. “What do you recommend?”

She hesitates. “Depends. Do you like coffee?”

“I like whatever you give me.”

Something shifts in her expression, but she quickly masks it, turning away to busy herself with making the drink. Heeseung takes the opportunity to let his gaze roam the café. It’s quiet, only a few customers scattered at tables, but then his jaw locks.

A man.

Sitting by the window, typing away on his laptop.

At first, Heeseung dismisses him as just another customer, but then Y/N walks over. She places a fresh cup of coffee on the table, says something that makes the man chuckle. The sight ignites something dark inside Heeseung.

Too close.

His fingers twitch against the table. He watches the way the man looks at her, the way Y/N smiles polite, friendly, the same way she probably treats every customer. But Heeseung doesn’t care.

He wants him gone.

Y/N turns back toward the counter, and that’s when she sees him again still watching her, his expression unreadable. A shiver runs through her, though she isn’t sure why.

When she walks back behind the counter, Heeseung finally stands, making his way toward her. He moves slowly, deliberately, letting her feel his presence before he even speaks.

She stiffens when he reaches the counter, but she meets his gaze head on. “Your order is almost ready,” she says, voice a little quieter than before.

Heeseung smirks. “Take your time. I’m enjoying the view.”

Her lips part slightly, but no words come out. He watches as she takes a breath, composing herself before turning to grab his coffee. When she places it in front of him, he doesn’t reach for it right away.

Instead, he leans in slightly, just enough to make her nervous. “Do I scare you?” he asks, voice softer than before.

She swallows. “No.”

He tilts his head, eyes searching hers. “Good,” he murmurs. “Because I’d never hurt you.”

Something about the way he says it sends a shiver down her spine. Not because she doesn’t believe him but because, deep down, she knows he’s telling the truth.

And that is somehow even more terrifying.

Y/N doesn’t move.

She just stands there, fingers gripping the counter, her gaze locked onto his as his words settle between them.

“I’d never hurt you.”

Chapter 6

She doesn’t know why that sends a different kind of shiver down her spine. Heeseung sees it the slight shift in her posture, the flicker of hesitation in her eyes. She doesn’t trust him.

Not yet.

But she doesn’t pull away either.

Heeseung finally reaches for the cup, his fingers brushing hers as he picks it up. A small, almost imperceptible gasp escapes her lips, and his smirk deepens. She’s not used to being watched like this, not used to someone like him.

Good.

He takes a slow sip, letting the silence stretch, letting her feel the weight of his presence.

She exhales softly. “Do you, uh… come here often?”

Heeseung hums, amused. “Would you like me to?”

She blinks, caught off guard. “I-I mean, it’s just… I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

Heeseung chuckles “I haven’t came here much till I saw you”

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, glancing away for a brief second. She’s flustered, trying to figure him out. But she won’t not yet.

Heeseung shifts slightly, leaning his forearm against the counter, lowering his voice just enough to make her lean in slightly. “You intrigue me, Y/N.”

Her lips part, eyes widening slightly at the sound of her name on his tongue. She didn’t tell him that.

He sees it immediately the confusion, the alarm creeping in.

“How do you—”

“I make it my business to know things,” Heeseung cuts in, eyes gleaming.

Y/N straightens slightly, something uncertain flashing across her face. “That’s… unsettling.”

He chuckles softly “is that weird to you?”

She nods slowly. “A little.”

Heeseung sets his cup down, the ceramic hitting the counter with a soft clink. “You shouldn’t be scared of me.”

“I never said I was.”

His smirk deepens. “But you feel like you should be.”

She doesn’t respond.

Her silence is enough.

Heeseung watches her carefully, watches the way she shifts her weight from foot to foot, the way her fingers twitch slightly as if she wants to reach for something her phone, maybe, or just anything to distract herself from him.

She exhales slowly, squaring her shoulders before meeting his gaze head-on. “If you already know my name… does that mean you also know where I live?”

Her voice is steady, but there’s an edge to it sharp, cautious.

Heeseung chuckles, shaking his head. “Not yet.”

Yet.

That single word makes her breath hitch.

Heeseung leans in slightly, closing the space between them just enough to make her feel the heat of his presence. “You’re fascinating, Y/N,” he murmurs. “And I don’t like sharing.”

A flicker of something crosses her face disbelief, maybe, or something dangerously close to intrigue.

She doesn’t speak right away.

“That’s a little possessive for someone who just met me,” she says, attempting to sound lighthearted, but he hears the slight waver in her tone.

Heeseung smirks. “That’s because I didn’t just meet you.”

Her eyes widen slightly.

Before she can respond, the door chimes, signaling another customer entering. The moment is broken, the tension sliced in half, but Heeseung doesn’t mind.

He’s patient.

She’ll understand soon enough.

Because she’s already his.

And he intends to make sure she knows it.

Y/N forces herself to breathe.

Chapter 7

Heeseung is still watching her, his dark eyes locked onto hers like he’s already decided something she hasn’t even figured out yet. His presence feels suffocating.

but not in a way that makes her want to run.

No, it’s the opposite.

It makes her want to lean in. To see how much of the intensity in his gaze is real.

She grips the edge of the counter, grounding herself. “So… do you always make it a habit to memorize the names of café workers you’ve never met?”

Heeseung smirks, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. “Only the ones that interest me.”

A shiver runs down her spine, uninvited but impossible to ignore. She doesn’t know what to say to that, so she turns to grab a towel, pretending to wipe down the counter. Anything to avoid the way his stare burns into her.

But Heeseung isn’t one to be ignored.

He reaches out slow, deliberate and brushes his fingers against her wrist. It’s barely a touch, but it might as well be an electric shock. Y/N stiffens, eyes snapping back to his.

“ You’re nervous,” he murmurs, voice smooth as silk. “Why?”

“I’m not,” she lies.

His fingers trail the slightest bit higher before he pulls away, like he’s testing a boundary just to see how far he can go before she snaps.

She exhales, trying to regain control of the situation. “I just don’t usually have mafia bosses showing up at my job and acting like they know me.”

Heeseung chuckles, low and amused. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t it?”

He leans in again, elbows resting on the counter, closing the space between them. Y/N swears she can smell his cologne something dark, rich, dangerously intoxicating.

“You tell me,” he murmurs. “Do you want it to be?”

Y/N swallows hard. He’s too close, too casual about the way he’s invading her space, too comfortable making her uncomfortable. And yet… she doesn’t move away.

She should.

But she doesn’t.

Instead, she does something reckless.

She tilts her head slightly, meeting his gaze without faltering this time. “I don’t know,” she says softly. “Should I be worried?”

Something flickers in Heeseung’s eyes something dark and unreadable.

Then, he smirks.

“Only if you plan on running.”

Her breath catches, and for a moment, the entire world seems to shrink until it’s just the two of them, locked in this unspoken game neither of them fully understands yet.

And then, just as quickly as he closed the distance, Heeseung leans back, fingers grazing the handle of his cup as if he’s perfectly unaffected.

But Y/N isn’t.

Not even close.

Y/N isn’t sure what’s more unsettling the way Heeseung looks at her like he already owns her, or the way part of her doesn’t hate it.

She shouldn’t be entertaining this. Shouldn’t be standing here, locked in some unspoken tension with a man she knows is dangerous. But there’s something intoxicating about him, something that makes it impossible to step away.

Heeseung takes another slow sip of his coffee, watching her over the rim of his cup like he’s studying every little reaction she gives him. She shifts under his gaze, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through her chest.

“You never answered my question,” he says smoothly.

She blinks. “What question?”

His lips twitch, like he knows she’s stalling. “Should you be worried?”

Y/N exhales through her nose, forcing herself to break eye contact as she picks up the towel again, wiping at the counter even though there’s nothing left to clean. “I don’t know,” she mutters. “You tell me.”

Heeseung hums, setting his cup down and tapping his fingers against the smooth surface of the counter. “I already told you,” he murmurs. “I’d never hurt you.”

Something in his voice makes her pause. It’s not a reassurance. It’s a promise.

She lifts her gaze again, and Heeseung takes that as an invitation to lean in, just slightly, just enough for his fingers to brush against hers on the counter. His touch is light, fleeting, but intentional.

Y/N swallows. “You keep saying that like you think I’m scared of you.”

Heeseung smirks. “Aren’t you?”

She wants to say yes. Wants to tell him that she should be scared, that any sane person would be. But the truth sticks in her throat, because she isn’t. Not in the way she should be.

“You don’t look scared,” he muses, his voice dipping lower. His fingers trail along the counter, dangerously close to hers again. “In fact, I think you like this.”

Y/N exhales sharply, forcing a dry laugh. “You think I like being interrogated by a mafia boss at my job?”

Heeseung tilts his head, studying her. “I think you like the attention.”

Her breath catches, heat creeping up her neck. His confidence is infuriating.

“You sure seem confident for someone who barely knows me,” she counters.

Heeseung smirks, dragging his fingers along the counter one last time before sitting back. “I know enough.”

Y/N doesn’t get the chance to respond before the door chimes, signaling another customer walking in. The moment breaks, but Heeseung doesn’t move right away.

Instead, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hundred dollar bill, sliding it across the counter toward her.

“For the coffee,” he says.

Y/N stares at the bill, then back at him, narrowing her eyes. “This is too much.”

“Consider it a tip.”

“For what?”

His smirk deepens. “For keeping me entertained.”

Y/N opens her mouth to argue, but before she can, Heeseung pushes off the counter and straightens his jacket. “I’ll see you soon, Y/N.”

Her stomach flips. “You keep saying that.”

Heeseung pauses at the door, glancing back over his shoulder. “Because it’s true.”

And with that, he’s gone leaving her standing behind the counter, pulse racing, mind spinning, and a hundred dollar bill burning a hole through her palm.

Y/N stands frozen behind the counter, staring at the door long after Heeseung disappears. The café hums with life around her, but everything feels distant like she’s stuck in some strange haze, unable to shake the weight of his words.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N.”

The way he said it wasn’t a possibility. It was a certainty.

She glances down at the crisp hundred-dollar bill still sitting on the counter. It feels heavier than paper should. She should give it back. She should pretend this entire conversation never happened.

But instead, she tucks it into the tip jar, fingers brushing against the edge of the bill longer than necessary.

And she hates that part of her likes the attention.

She hates that she wants to see him again.

Heeseung’s POV chapter 8

Heeseung watches from across the street as Y/N locks up the café.

She doesn’t know he’s here, standing in the shadows, cigarette burning between his fingers as he leans against the sleek black car parked in the alley. He could have left after their conversation earlier, but something kept him close.

Something possessive.

Something dangerous.

His jaw clenches when he sees her pull out her phone, typing something quickly before slipping it back into her pocket. Who the hell is she texting? A friend? A boyfriend?

His fingers twitch.

Heeseung had made sure Daeho was no longer a problem, but there could be others. Other men orbiting her, thinking they have a right to look at her, to touch her.

They don’t.

And they never will.

Jay steps up beside him, flicking his own cigarette into the street. “You’re getting in too deep.”

Heeseung exhales slowly, watching as Y/N disappears around the corner, heading toward the subway station.

“I know.”

Jay shakes his head. “So what now? You planning to keep stalking her like some creep?”

Heeseung smirks, pushing off the car. “No.”

Jay raises a brow. “Then what?”

Heeseung takes one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement, crushing the ember beneath his boot.

“I’m going to make sure she understands.”

“Understands what?”

Heeseung’s eyes gleam in the dark.

“That she belongs to me.”

Y/N’s POV chapter 9

The subway station is nearly empty this late at night, the distant hum of a train echoing through the tunnels. Y/N wraps her arms around herself as she waits, shifting her weight from foot to foot, trying to ignore the strange, prickling sensation at the back of her neck.

She feels like she’s being watched.

It’s probably nothing. Just paranoia from the encounter earlier. But still, she glances over her shoulder, scanning the platform. No one seems out of place just a few tired commuters, a man checking his phone, a couple sitting on one of the benches.

You’re overthinking it.

The train screeches to a halt in front of her, and she quickly steps inside, finding a seat near the doors. She exhales, letting her head rest against the cool metal pole beside her. She just needs to forget about him. Forget about the way his voice sent chills down her spine. Forget the way he looked at her like she was his.

She doesn’t see the figure standing in the farthest corner of the car, watching her every move.

Chapter 10

Heeseung’s POV

Heeseung doesn’t make a habit of following women home.

But Y/N isn’t just any woman.

He stands at the far end of the subway car, one hand resting casually in the pocket of his coat, the other gripping the cool metal pole beside him. His gaze never leaves her. She looks exhausted, her head leaning against the rail, eyes closed like she’s trying to shut out the world.

She has no idea she isn’t alone.

Heeseung tilts his head slightly, taking in every little detail the way she absentmindedly rubs her arm like she’s cold, the slow rise and fall of her chest, the way her fingers twitch like she’s still thinking about their conversation earlier.

She should be scared.

She should know by now that she belongs to him.

But she doesn’t. Not yet.

The train slows as it reaches her stop, and she blinks awake, stretching slightly before standing. Heeseung watches as she steps onto the platform, adjusting the strap of her bag over her shoulder before making her way toward the exit.

He follows, his footsteps silent.

She takes the same path as always down the quiet, dimly lit street leading to her apartment. It’s routine, predictable. No security. No one waiting for her.

She’s completely unprotected.

It pisses him off.

She shouldn’t be walking alone at this hour. She shouldn’t be this vulnerable, this unaware of the dangers surrounding her. Heeseung clenches his jaw, the possessiveness curling in his chest like a wildfire.

A few steps ahead, Y/N suddenly slows. She hesitates, her head tilting slightly like she feels something off.

Heeseung smirks. That’s it, baby. You’re learning.

She glances over her shoulder, her brows knitting together, but he’s already slipped into the shadows.

Still watching.

Still waiting.

She shakes her head and keeps walking, but this time, she’s more alert. Her shoulders are tense, her pace a little faster.

Good.

She should know that someone is watching.

That someone is always watching.

And soon enough, she’ll learn exactly who.

Chapter 11

Y/N’s POV

Y/N reaches her apartment building, heart pounding harder than it should be.

The entire walk home, she felt something. A presence. A lingering weight on her back, like someone’s eyes were digging into her skin. But every time she turned, the street behind her was empty.

Still, the feeling refuses to leave.

Her fingers fumble slightly as she unlocks the front door, slipping inside and shutting it quickly behind her. She exhales, pressing her back against the wood, trying to shake off the paranoia crawling up her spine.

It’s fine. It’s nothing.

She pushes off the door, heading straight for her bedroom. She drops her bag on the chair, kicks off her shoes, and pulls her phone from her pocket.

1 new message.

Her brows furrow. She doesn’t recognize the number.

Unknown: Did you make it home safe?

Y/N’s breath catches.

Her fingers tremble slightly as she stares at the message, her mind racing. It could be a wrong number. It could be someone from work. It could be—

A cold shiver runs down her spine.

She already knows who it is.

Her grip tightens around the phone, but before she can even think of what to do, another message appears.

Unknown: You shouldn’t be walking alone at night, Y/N.

Her stomach twists.

She swallows, her pulse thundering in her ears as she quickly types a response.

Y/N: Who is this?

She stares at the screen, waiting, her breath caught in her throat. Three dots appear almost immediately.

Unknown: You already know.

She sucks in a sharp breath, every nerve in her body screaming at her to block the number. To delete the messages. To pretend she never saw them.

But she doesn’t.

Because deep down, she does know.

And that terrifies her more than anything.

Chapter 12

Heeseung’s POV

Heeseung smirks as he watches the screen, his phone illuminating the dark interior of his car.

She read the messages.

She’s scared.

Good.

She should be.

Not because he’s going to hurt her he already promised he wouldn’t. But because now she knows. She feels it.

The pull.

The invisible thread tying them together, even if she doesn’t want to acknowledge it yet.

Jay exhales beside him, shaking his head. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

Heeseung leans back against the leather seat, stretching his arms lazily. “She’s finally starting to understand.”

Jay snorts. “Understand what? That she has a stalker?”

Heeseung’s smirk doesn’t waver. “That she belongs to me.”

Jay huffs out a humorless laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe.” Heeseung watches as the apartment lights flicker off one by one. Y/N is going to bed. Still shaken, still thinking about him.

Good.

Let her think about him.

Let her dream about him.

Because whether she’s ready or not, she’s already his.

And soon, she’ll have no choice but to accept it.

Sleep doesn’t come easy.

Y/N lies in bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, mind spinning like a carousel she can’t get off. The glow of her phone screen is the only light in the room. The message thread is still open. She hasn’t blocked the number. She hasn’t deleted it.

She should have.

But a part of her one she doesn’t want to acknowledge can’t.

Because the truth is, his words replay in her head like a broken record.

‘You shouldn’t be walking alone at night.’

‘You already know.’

She hates that she feels… something. Not just fear. It’s more complicated. Uneasy. Heavy. Thrilling.

Dangerous.

She tosses the covers off and moves to the window, peeking through the curtains even though she knows she won’t see anyone. Her heart pounds in her chest. No shadows. No footsteps. Nothing.

But she knows.

He’s out there. Somewhere. Watching.

And she doesn’t know what scares her more

The thought that he might be…

or the thought that he’s not.

Chapter 13

Heeseung’s POV

Morning sunlight creeps across Heeseung’s office floor, but he’s been up for hours.

A photo of Y/N sits in front of him taken last night as she stood in her window, looking out, searching for something. Or someone.

He watches it with a kind of sick pride. She’s becoming aware. The paranoia is taking root, exactly how he wanted. She’s thinking about him constantly now.

Jin walks in with a tablet in hand, interrupting his silence. “We ran the background check. She’s clean. No criminal records. No ties to any law enforcement. Just… normal.”

Heeseung nods slowly. “Good.”

Jay steps in behind him, arms crossed. “You’re seriously going through with this?”

“I already am.”

“She’s not built for this world.”

“I’ll make her fit.”

Jay scoffs. “You can’t make someone love you, Heeseung.”

“I don’t need her to love me.” Heeseung’s eyes glint cold. “I need her to stay.”

Jay falls silent. Heeseung taps his fingers against the desk, thinking.

“I want a guard posted on her street no one touches her. If anyone even looks at her too long, I want to know.”

Jay exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re going to break her.”

“No,” Heeseung mutters, voice dark. “I’m going to protect her. From everything. From everyone.”

His gaze drifts back to the photo.

“She just doesn’t know it yet.”

Chapter 14

Y/N’s POV

The next morning at the café, Y/N is tired, anxious, and jittery before she even drinks her first cup of coffee. Every time the bell above the door rings, her breath catches. Every time someone glances at her for too long, her skin crawls.

She’s distracted. Her coworker, Hana, notices.

“Did you sleep at all?” Hana asks, nudging her.

Y/N forces a smile. “Not really. Weird dreams.”

She doesn’t say it wasn’t a dream.

And then like fate taunting her the door opens.

And in walks Heeseung.

Black coat. Shirt unbuttoned just enough to show his chain. Eyes locked onto her like he’s been looking for nothing but her.

Her heart stops.

He walks with confidence, like he owns the room and maybe he does. The entire café goes quieter when he enters. People notice him. They always do.

But he only notices her.

He approaches the counter, gaze never shifting.

“Miss me?” he asks, voice smooth as velvet.

Y/N swallows, eyes flickering nervously to her coworker, then back to him. “You’re back.”

“I told you I would be.”

She hesitates, lips parting as if she’s going to say something, but no words come.

And then he reaches out.

Fingers trailing over hers across the counter again, slow, deliberate, like he’s staking a claim. Her breath hitches.

“I thought about you last night,” he says softly. “Did you think about me?”

Y/N’s pulse thunders in her ears.

She doesn’t answer.

But the silence says enough.

And Heeseung knows it.

To be continued… (comment to be in part 2 tag list) sorry I had to give you guys something by now😭

[koch-snowflake-blog]

田中 美久は、日本のグラビアアイドル、女優、モデル。女性アイドルグループ・HKT48の元メンバーである。熊本県出身。am合同会社所属。 ウィキペディア

生まれ： 2001年9月12日 (年齢 23歳), 熊本県

身長： 151 cm

音楽グループ： HKT48 (2014年から)、 でんでんむChu! (2015年から)

事務所： AKS; （2013年 - 2020年）; Mercury; （2020年 - 2023年）; am合同会社; （2024年 - ）

公式サイト： 田中美久 Official Fanclub miclub

血液型： B型

　　

[etherealily]

guilt // f.odair

My other Finnick fics, if you have the time.

[1/3] Long.

Part 2 : Art Part 3 : Bets

Finnick Odair + fem!reader. Warnings : Cuss words, SFW but discretion advised, mature themes. Slight inconsistencies (tributes + mentors leave the next day instead of the same day)

Desc. : But is it in his nature?

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════

'Suck on his sellout cock, go ahead', your mind taunts you as you traipse behind him into the Victor's Village, a place where you simultaneously hoped you'd live and you'd never step into again.

See, Finnick had always dominated your childhood.

You grew up watching him charm the nation, be welcomed back to the District like he was God.

One of your biggest flexes was that you got to see him in person in a parade once, when he'd come back from one of his many Capitol visits.

However. That all changed once you became fifteen. Because you'd finally got some fucking sense and realized that the people at the Capitol, the Hunger Games, none of it was fair, it was all fucking shit.

And you hated Finnick all the more for it.

Prancing around, doing promotions, adverts, sending children to die, being the Capitol's bitch. You'd narrowly escaped your last chance to be reaped, but you still wished he'd choke on his ridiculously expensive Capitol meal.

You couldn't respect him.

But. But, it wasn't like you'd ever tell him that, though. Because when Finnick Odair talks to you, you fucking talk back.

And when he tells you he wants you to come back home with him after seeing you by the ocean one night, you go, no matter how much you'd rather fucking kill yourself.

"This is my house.", he smiles, and waits expectantly, as if you're supposed to applaud.

"It's nice."

He doesn't look disappointed or surprised at that. In fact, he seems mildly entertained. "Get in."

═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════

"And then, maybe, just bring your hand up the side of your leg? Yeah, yeah, just like that. Okay, yeah, sweetheart, that's it."

Click.

"And this is for..."

"Modelling."

"For the Capitol?"

"Who else?"

You raise a brow, your mind immediately picturing some rhinestone encrusted Capitol asshole getting off to a picture of you. You shudder.

"I'm joking. It's for me."

"For you?"

"Feel free to look around.", he says, offhandedly, as he looks through the camera at all the pictures he'd just clicked of you. "Maybe something will catch your fancy."

"You brought me here to... take pictures of me and... let me take whatever I want from your house?"

"I'm a weirdo, sweetheart."

"What will you do with the pictures?"

"I dunno. Can't publish them anywhere. I guess I'll just use them.", he mutters, more to himself than you, but you catch it. He looks up and then clarifies, "To improve my photography skills."

Thank fuck.

"Why me?"

"You're a good subject."

Your fingers move almost fluidly past various things, bottles of expensive liquor, watches, jewellery that he probably stole from his long list of Capitol lovers, and a single, slightly pathetic looking conch.

"I'm a subject? Like... math?"

He snorts. It's condescending, he's aware - there's no way you'd know. You've never been out of the District.

"It's photography lingo. A subject is who you're taking photos of. You have the correct facial structure for my lighting to illuminate you how I want it to. Hence, you're a good subject."

"Oh."

He continues flicking through photos and adjusting the background, taking a few trial shots with the result of his tinkering, until he seems to notice that you haven't spoken in a while. "You like the conch?"

"It's pretty."

"So are you."

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Ugh. There he goes again, back to Finnick Odair, Capitol man-whore instead of Finnick, photo geek.

You turn to him. "How much did it cost? Twice the wine?"

"I didn't buy it. I found it, back when I was eleven."

"You've had it for almost a decade?"

He licks his lips, his hands pausing their scrolling of the camera's gallery for a moment. "I guess it has been a decade."

"What was it like, though? When you won?"

"Won? Won what?"

"The Games."

"Oh. Uh... bittersweet."

"Bitter? Why would it be bitter?"

"You ask a lot of questions. Sit down."

You know the truth. He just didn't want to admit that there was nothing bitter going on. He won because he was hot, and now, he continued reaping the benefits of his genetic lottery win.

You sit, still looking up at him as he comes to kneel in front of you, turning his camera to you. "What do you think?"

The pictures he's taken of you have an unsettling ethereality to them. In one, you're looking out the window with your back to the camera, your outfit hidden by a rose he'd apparently been holding in front of the camera.

A white rose.

It featured in every fucking picture, so much so that you almost asked him about it. Key word : almost.

In one of the more lighthearted ones, the rose sat in your mouth.

"They're pretty nice."

"Is your vocabulary limited to those two words? Pretty. Nice."

"I don't know what else to say."

He regards your face for a moment - like, really fucking observes you - before fiddling with some knob on the camera. "Take off your clothes."

That shouldn't have surprised you as much as it did.

"What?"

He looks up, confused. "Take off your clothes and I'll take some pictures."

"What? No."

"You don't want to? But you were okay with all the previous pictures."

"Yeah, because I was clothed."

"Being unclothed is a problem for you? Being exposed? Hm? That bothers you?"

What?!

"I- look, man, I'm not trying to offend you."

"But you are. You said you'd let me take photos of you. You are not your clothes, are you? You are your self, your soul, your body."

"Yeah, but I'm just not comfortable."

'Y'know what, sweetheart, people do shit they're not comfortable with all the fucking time. Twenty-five/eight. If you can't deal with it, you're weak. Take. It. Off."

You had a feeling there was another reason he was so angry about your non-compliance, but you didn't push it.

"Please don't make me do this."

"Fine! FUCK! Am I asking you to suck my cock? Huh? I could, y'know that? I could've, but no, I asked you to help me make art, and you chickened out!", he yells, his finger scarily close to poking your eye.

Finnick Odair was no longer pissing you off.

Finnick Odair was genuinely scaring you.

"Just get out.", he mutters, setting his camera down in defeat on his couch. "Get out, seriously."

You don't even have two seconds of backing-away-time before he stops you again. "What if I killed your family?"

That scares you more. "What?"

"What if I killed your family? Or at least, threatened to? Would you do it? Would you?", he asks, and now, he's not angry at you, or frustrated, he's more desperate, frantic, as if your answer would shake his fucking world.

As if your answer would change his self perception.

"Please don't kill my family."

"Would you suck my cock if I threatened to kill your family, Y/N?!"

"YES!", you scream, flinching, almost. "Yes! I would, but please, PLEASE don't!"

Finnick Odair gazes back at you with relief, and you want to strangle him. "You would, wouldn't you? You'd do unspeakable things for your family, yes?"

Well, of course.

"Things that would make your skin crawl. Not just because you love them, but because you're responsible for them. Because you got yourself into this mess."

He's no longer talking to or about you, that much is clear.

"And it's up to you to keep them away from it."

Slowly backing away, you try your hardest not to show up in his peripheral, to make sure he stays in whatever zone he's in.

But he is Finnick Odair. So he doesn't even look up at you as he instructs you. "Don't take the conch." Like stealing from him was the first thing on your mind.

"Wasn't planning to."

"Don't tell anyone about today."

"Wasn't planning to."

"Stay."

Wasn't planning to.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Stay."

The apology only solidifies your urge to stab him in the gut. "I have to get home."

"I didn't mean stay the night. I don't want you staying the night."

Finnick Odair, as you had begun to gather, was debilitatingly honest.

"I just mean stay for a while. Have dinner and then go."

"Dinner?"

"Yes, dinner. I have turkey from the Capitol."

"What's that?"

"It's a kind of bird. It's just like chicken but better."

"What's chicken?"

"Another kind of bird."

"Oh."

He frowns at you for a moment. "You're not okay with eating birds, are you?"

"They're just... very rare, so I don't see why you have to kill them."

He sighs, looking around the room in deep thought. "I could make fish. You know fish. You like fish."

You do know fish. You do like fish. You nod.

~~~~

Finnick's fish is unlike any you've ever fucking eaten.

Living in District 4, you'd figured you'd had fish every way it could be cooked. But no.

You can't help but take more. And more. And more. You weren't hungry, and momentarily felt guilt, thinking about kids in the other districts who were, but it was divine and you couldn't bring yourself to care much.

"You like that?", he asks, from opposite you, raising a brow in amusement.

"It's really fucking good."

He whistles lowly. "Ooh, nice, vocabulary expansion. So you do cuss. I was afraid I'd corrupted you with my rough Capitol language.", he muses, looking at your plate. "You have room for dessert?"

"Doesn't everyone, always?"

He nods. "That's fair. Cake?"

CAKE? This Capitol whore managed to bring cake back to District 4?

"Sure."

That was divine, too.

"You like that, too?"

"Yeah. It's really good. The Capitol has it really good."

"The Capitol is filled with cunts who throw up food because they want to taste more."

Was that... disdain? Interesting.

"Well, seeing as you spend most of the year there, I just thought..."

He stands, clearing the plates. "What? That I was one of them?"

You watch him go into the kitchen, taking a sip of water as you do. "No, just that... no, yeah, I did."

"It's okay, I get that a lot. I just... I gotta go, do these promotions, adverts. I have to. I made a deal."

You sigh, standing and pushing the dining table chair back to its original position. "Contract?"

He clenches his jaw momentarily, before nodding, his shoulders tense. "Yeah. Sm'n like that.", he grins, his dimples emerging once more. Thirteen year old you would have swooned and fainted and died.

Eighteen year old you just lets him lead you to the door.

"I'm leaving for the Capitol tomorrow. Along with the tributes from this year."

Why he's telling you this, you have no clue.

"You should come and wave me off."

"Do we know each other well enough for that?"

"No, but I know you know the tributes well. One of them goes to school with you, doesn't she?"

Yes. Little Faye.

"Yes, she's in the eighth grade. I used to tutor her."

The reality hits. She will probably never be able to high-five you when she gets a question right again.

"You should give her courage.", he suggests. "Going in thinking you're going to die will get you killed. Let her know she can make it."

"Can she?", you ask, quietly. The answer will ruin you, you can tell.

"She's a Career."

"Yes, but can she?"

"Chances are slim." Finnick fucking Odair. Finnick "debilitatingly honest" fucking Odair. "I won't tell her that, though."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Finnick."

═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════

His hands grip your chin and you swear you're about to kill him. You look up at him, hanging out the open door of the train carriage and holding onto you, and you're half tempted to pull him down with you because what the fuck was he doing?

You can feel it coming, the urge to slap him away, but then again, it's still Finnick FUCKING Odair, and you're not sure if there's a law against rejecting his advances.

So you just kind of let him kiss you. It's not bad, no, far from it, it's just... unexpected.

Considering it's in front of every camera in the district.

Considering you'd only known each other one night.

Considering his last words were 'you're the only thing I care about.'

Considering he said your full name an unsettling amount of times.

Considering little Faye was watching and wondering why you were calm enough to be making out with some hot guy instead of sending her off.

Considering now the entirety of Panem was either going gush at you or rush at you.

~~~~

You can't bring yourself to watch the news.

Everyone assumes it's because of Finnick.

But, ironically, Finnick's the only one who knows it's not.

It's because of Faye.

"Finnick's on TV.", you're informed at least twice an hour.

"'Kay.", is your usual response. "Faye?"

"I'm sure Finnick trained her well. And besides, the 11th is this weekend! You'll find out."

Right. You'd been invited by Snow him-fucking-self to the Capitol. Apparently, the cameras outside your house weren't enough. He needed you there, with Finnick, for promos. While children were dying.

You receive gifts from your family, your neighbours, your teachers - basically anyone you'd breathed around - for your journey to the Capitol, as if you're going to some dreamland.

As you ride the train, your head against the seat, you try to imagine this is the train that leads you out of Panem. Your family will be waiting at the destination - in your head, an actual dreamland - and you'll be fine and dandy.

As you're escorted out, you imagine you're hanging from the ceiling in full display on the TV instead of Faye having to go through the Games.

And as you're directed to Finnick's room, you imagine slitting his throat. It's funny. You almost laugh. Then, the door opens.

Dimples.

═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════

"How is it you've never worn lip tint before?", he mutters, tutting as if you'd just misspelled a basic word. "C'mon, pucker up.", he instructs, his thumb smearing red on your lips.

You have no idea what you look like and you're not sure if you want to find out. "I thought you were a merchant."

You shake your head. "No, I said I live by the merchant sector of 4."

"Not in it?"

"Of course not. Why would I have been picking seashells to make necklaces out of if I were a merchant? I just sell shit in the marketplace. Doesn't make me a merchant."

"I mean, technically... yeah, it does.", he says, his thumb accidentally slipping and smudging your makeup over the left of your cheek.

"Right, well, I'm not merchant class.', you shrug, trying to wipe the results of idiocy that was Finnick Odair off the side of your cheek.

Finnick... seems to get it. He nods along as he continues trying to de-plague your face with makeup.

Guilt is etched on his face. Regret, a tiny bit. Sadness, festering throughout.

"What's that look?"

He doesn't seem like he's out of whatever thought he was in moments ago when he hums in response, before quickly leaping towards his bedside and taking his camera, holding his thumb next to your bottom lip, with your still messy lip tint just about seen. Click.

"What's that look?", you repeat.

"What look?"

"That one.", you say, pointing to his face as if he can see it.

"That's my sorry look. I shouldn't have sprung the kiss on you. It was a dick move.", he says, gently moving behind you and guiding your shoulders to manoeuver you to face the mirror.

He says it as if he already knows you'll forgive him.

Yes, you do. But it irks you that he seems to assume that.

"Yes, it was."

"I'm sorry. What do you think?"

"I look like the 12 escort."

"Trinket? No, no way. You look great.", he assures, and you try to believe him, but you haven't seen yourself in makeup before and it doesn't look as though it's you standing there.

"Beautiful.", he says, as an afterthought, almost, as if he were trying out the word to see if it sounded right or not. He seems to decide on the former. "Beautiful.", he repeats, nodding.

That gets your attention and you take a second glance, and suddenly, you see what he sees. The makeup isn't subtle and hidden, but it isn't what the Capitol wears. It's... pleasant.

He brushes some hair in front of your shoulders. "See? Beautiful.", he reiterates, like he can't get enough of that word now.

"You sure I'll fit in here like this? Like... dressed up?"

"Yeah.", he says, vehemently nodding before doing that thing when he looked in your eyes again. "Well, mostly. I mean, I'd prefer it if you had the easiest time possible, 'cause I kinda got you into this mess."

You nod. That checks out. "Thanks."

═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════

The night sees you staring at the ceiling while Finnick breathes softly in sleep beside you. It's pleasant. Domestic, almost. Like what Finnick wants, you think. Like the Capitol believes, you know.

He shifts and your eyes snap shut. Why you're so afraid of him finding out that you are awake, you don't know, but you are. He reaches out, his knuckles grazing your cheek with enough purpose that you realize he wasn't asleep in the first place, either.

And then he does it.

His hand reaches out, gently feeling around for your hand, before he grips the middle three fingers on your left.

He squeezes them softly, then brings them to his chest, where his own hand lays. That's it.

You watch him actually sleep until he mumbles, shifting again. 'Y/N?"

"Yeah?", you respond immediately, kicking yourself internally. Cover blown.

"Can't sleep?"

"No."

"Scared?"

"Mhm."

"Of the photos we took today? I promise, the makeup isn't bad, and you won't have to take any more - they'll publish them and pass them off as taken over a few months, so it's not-"

"No, for Faye."

Silence. "Oh."

"I feel like I didn't get to even tell her how well she's going to do."

"You can see her."

You can what?

"When?"

"Well, not in person, but we can watch the live feed of the Gam-"

"Yes. Yes, please, thank you.'

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes. Yes, absolutely. When can we?"

"Well, technically, it's always streaming, so I, I guess we can go now."

You nod.

He raises a brow as if he never expected you to agree. "Okay, uh, just, uh... gimme a second to wake up, okay?"

He comes out of the bathroom after washing his face to find you pacing, biting the inside of your cheek. "C'mon."

~~~~

The Viewing Room is desolate except for a few Gamemakers' Assistants (GAs), that have to watch footage 24/7.

"We have to record these things all the time, just in case something happens during the cover of nightfall", he explains, as he walks in front of you and gestures to the large screen in the opposite side of the room. "Usually, the stronger Careers, from 1 or 2-", he cuts himself off. That was not what you needed to be hearing right now.

He watches as you slowly walk up to the screen, as though the soft glow from it could lead you to Faye. Your eyes dart around the entirety of the enormous screen, looking for something - anything - to announce you of Faye's survival.

"She is still alive. You'd have heard a cannon and seen a picture of her if not."

It's not the most comforting thing he can say. He's usually better at this. God, if he didn't miss his old self, but the guilt of essentially using you to keep Snow's interest off his family and on you, the - to the extent of Snow's knowledge, anyway - love of his life, isn't exactly letting him be warm and inviting to you.

But he wants to. Let it be known, he wants nothing more than to do what he usually does. Brighten people up.

"Where is she?"

"WE'VE GOT A RUNNER!", calls one of the GAs and your head snaps to a blue triangle tracking one of the tributes on the screen, and you run over to that side of the massive screen.

The lights come on in the room, and people flood in. Sponsors, gamblers, Gamemakers. Because this is prime TV. He imagines every screen in the country lighting up, because you have to watch. Every child has just been woken up because the feed's back on.

"Who's the runner?", someone asks, and Finnick turns to you, diligently tracking the blue triangle with your eyes. Blue. Ocean. District 4. It's Faye.

"Girl from Four. The boy's already dead."

"How much did I have on her?"

"Oh, c'mon, you didn't have shit on her! No one thought she'd make it this far."

"Fine, fine, but now how much?"

The sounds of cruelty almost have him zoning out, going back into Capitol-Party-Finnick-Mode. That is, until, you call him.

"Finnick?"

He rushes to your side, a guilt induced speed to his gait. "Yeah, y'okay?" No the fuck she isn't. What the fuck is wrong with him?

"Who's the gold triangle chasing her?" Gold. Luxury. District 1. CAREER.

"Uh..." Deliver it softly. Sweetly.

"Unless she's a shapeshifter, the girl's DEAD!", laughs one of the sponsors. "It's my tribute, the Career boy from 1 chasin' her, with... wait, zoom in? Oh, yeah, a dagger!"

Your eyes widen and Finnick wants to kill himself. "She'll be fine. She can swim, he..."

Can also swim. Fuck.

"... he won't be able to keep up with her." , he says, finally.

Partially true. District 1 Careers didn't have access to the ocean, not like those from 4, so it was very much possible that he wasn't trained to know about tides and currents and shit.

There's a moment where no one in the room says anything. Because they both just jumped into the water, and Faye went under.

Finnick holds your head to his chest as you cling onto him in fear. It's not even remotely close to making up for what he's planning to put you through - well, already putting you through - but he at least feels a bit like the old him. The one who could actually comfort.

The tribute from 1 splashes around a bit, looking for Faye. You've turned a bit now, your head's still in his chest, but half your face is facing the screen. You're watching, anxious as ever.

"She's not drowned.", he mutters, stupidly. Duh.

"What if something pulled her under?"

Oh fuck. Yeah. Valid point.

"I'm sure it's just a strategy."

One that he remembers teaching her.

Maybe if she uses this and beats this District 1 Career, he could be one more step closer to gaining your forgiveness, and his redemption.

For a crime that the victim wasn't even aware was being committed.

The Career flounders around a bit more, screaming, clearly, but the audio is muted here. He looks around, not willing to look under, in case that might trigger the release of any muttations the Capitol cooked up for them.

And then, he's tugged a bit, his leg down, and he springs away from the motion. Please be Faye. Please be Faye.

He's jerked fully under, and a splash of Faye's hair can be seen before both disappear underneath the mildly murky waters, a struggle very evident in the way the water's splattering about.

Suddenly, it stops.

Faye leaps exhaustedly onto the bank, gasping for breath.

A cannon goes off. Florian Jentry. District 1 , Luxury. Score : 10.

Finnick holds onto you tighter as you sigh in relief. He softly kisses your hair because he doesn't know what else to do.

Relief is the only possible emotion to feel.

No one's happy. No one's sad. You're only either relieved that your loved one isn't gone, or relieved that they're not gone in a torturous way.

Wait, scratch that. The patron who just bet on Faye is happy.

[chalpurnia]

Lupin III part 2 — Ep.145

[ivys-garden]

More Minecraft ideas, what part of Minecraft needs improvement?

You're wrong, it's ponds.

Ponds, lakes, lava pools. They all suck in Minecraft, they end up just being big holes in the ground with nothing interesting about them that make the landscape ugly and hole ridden

Now you might say “Ivy, literally no one cares” and to that I say, wheesht and accept my ramblings ya donut

So, how do we fix Ponds? It's simply really: make ponds generated structures.

Ponds would now be generated structures taking up one chunk, with an actual human made design to make them, you know, look good. There would be, say, 100 or so different designs to stop them looking to samey (they'd be so small that something like that would be feasible)

Lakes would be done similarly, only with the key difference, they would be made up of 4 chunk “cells”, each making up a corner of the lake.

ponds and lakes in plains or forest biomes would be made of blocks like mud and dirt.

Ponds and lakes in deserts (or oases if you want) would be made up of grass and sand

Ponds and lakes in tundras would be frozen over on the top layer of the water and with clay spawning around the water

Now, let's see some things that can be found in ponds and lakes:

Frogs

Nothing new here, frogs and frogspawn are most common ponds, pond frogs also only come in the green frog varietie.

Perhaps the oasis can have a desert rain frog variant that gives a purple frog light

Toads

Toads and toad spawn can be found in lakes and ponds in forest and plains biomes. Toads emerge from toad spawn in the same way frogs do. Toads have an exaggerated size, being double the size of the frog

Toads come in several colours (Green, Brown, Yellow, Orange and Lime) but these colours do not harbour any game mechanics (in other words: sorry but there are no toadlights)

Toads will eat all mobs with wings, that being the Parrot, Chicken, Phantom, Bat, Bee and the player if they are wearing an elytra, so watch out.

All the aforementioned mobs are scared of Toads, making them and effective deterrent to phantoms in particular

Cattails, Reeds, Rice, Algae and Papyrus

I'll just do all the plant life stuff at once (these will generate dependent on the pond or lake cell)

Algae is a new decorative blocks that can be placed on water

It will connect to other blocks, creating an unbroken surface across the water

Algae has a bright green hue and can be found in both ponds and lakes with the same frequency

Papyrus is a new plant that spawns naturally in the oasis, it is used as a more efficient way of making paper as it can be bonemealed and only one papyrus is needed to make paper

Rice is a plant that grows in water in lakes and ponds spawning in cherry groves.

Rice can be used in two recipes:

Rice Bowls:Putting rice, a bowl and any meat together will craft a rice bowl

This food source that can be eaten twice, eating the meat and then the rice

Sushi: putting rice, dried kelp and one fish into a crafting table creates Sushi, a foodsoarch that can be eaten instantly without playing the eating animation, not very nutritious but good in a pinch

Cattails are a purely decorative plant found in ponds and swamps

Reeds are more common around rivers and lakes, being a fern like plant that grows two tall.

Reeds can be used to craft a new item: Pan Pipes

Combining 3 reeds and 3 string will create pan pipes, these can be played to draw passive mobs towards you so long as the button to play them is held down.

Pan Pipes can also calm neutral mobs like wolves, iron golems and bees, but doing this instantly focus the Pan pipes into cool down

Pan pipes have a cool down double that of the Goat Horn

Bagpipes

By putting Pan Pipes, 3 iron nuggets, 3 red wool and 3 green wool together you can make Bagpipes.

Bagpipes have durability on top of having the same level of cool down as Pan Pipes. Bagpipes cannot be enchanted.

Bagpipes have the ability to PERMANENTLY pacify all hostile mobs in the chunk the player is in.

Bagpipes will break after 10 or so uses

Willow and Palm

Willow and palm are new wood types, Willow spawns around lakes and ponds and Palm spawns around oases.

Willow has a dark Bluish-green colour, complementing mangrove, where as Palm is a desaturated pale white

(These will generate depending on the pond or lake cell)

(Part 1/3)

[soapieanxiety]

Historical Iceland Ramble: Part 1 - Early Childhood

We’re actually pretty lucky to get a good look at Icelands very early childhood. Not only do we see him immediately after he was “born” but we also see more of his childhood from before Norway showed up in his life.

Interesting things I immediately notice:

- While Norway physically wasn’t there in his life his connection to Iceland is still important even before the two met

- Iceland doesn’t know that he’s a representation but he does know that he’s not human

- Iceland's loneliness is something he’s dealt with literally since he was born. He’s literally Dr. Doofenshmirtz levels of loneliness. I am not joking he’s extremely lonely.

- His hot and cold side is immediately established in these manga panels. Iceland is someone with a lot of internal fire however externally he appears to be the opposite. Sometimes people only portray one side of his personality and ignore the other, but if you truly want to understand Iceland you have to understand that there are two sides to him. They may seem contradictory but in reality both sides merge together and create Iceland. It cannot be ignored

These panels right here tell us directly that there is more to Iceland than what meets the eye. We’ve been told this in character notes, but in the actual content of Hetalia, we are shown it here. We’re shown it constantly, but this is the most in-your-face example I’ve seen. Iceland is directly getting upset at people judging him just based off first impressions. This shows us that not portraying him with these two sides is doing his character a disservice.

In some stories, I see that people make it that Norway found Iceland pretty quickly after his “birth." However I believe that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m gonna get more into timeline in the next paragraph, but the panel with Iceland contemplating if he has a brother takes place at a minimum 130 years after his “birth." Want proof? These are the next two panels that happen immediately after

It’s believed that civilization on Iceland started at around 870 AD, and it looks like that’s the date Hima went with. It’s the date I’m going to go with as well. Christianity came to Iceland at around the year 999 or 1000 AD, meaning Iceland met the God (/j but y’know what I mean) before he met his brother, the other Nordics, or Mr. Puffin. Now I can see someone arguing that maybe he’s met Mr. Puffin already; however, I believe that if he had, Mr. Puffin would be somewhere in these panels. He’s always with Iceland, and if he’s not, it’s a logical assumption to make that he just hasn’t met the bird yet.

Iceland makes a new friend! Despite the mental breakdown, I do believe meeting Mr. Puffin was an all-around positive in Iceland's life. We see them together constantly after-this, and Iceland finally gets his much needed social interaction. Even if it’s from a bird. He’s still suffering from extreme loneliness, which will affect him for the rest of his life. But it’s a good thing he has Mr. Puffin now, who does teach him a bit about the outside world.

I’d also like to note that Iceland, who knows he has a brother, believes that he’s the only island to exist and that the rest of the world is just ocean. That’s how much he’s suffering from loneliness. I can’t really pinpoint a year these panels take place but I’m fairly confident they take place after 1000, which, as stated earlier, is over 100 years after Iceland was “born.”

These are the last manga panels I’d like to go over and the ones I find the most interesting, in my opinion.

We see more of Iceland and Mr. Puffins time together in Iceland's early childhood. Mr. Puffin tells Iceland about the outside world, which Iceland doesn’t believe. I think this is probably just the loneliness getting to him. What I find really interesting in this panel is that it confirms that Norway knows Iceland exists. Now I love Norway, I’m a firm believer that he’s doing his best as a brother. But this is probably his biggest brother fumble, in my opinion. As an older sibling myself, I can understand being busy with your own life. Norway is obviously busy in this panel, but at this point, Iceland has existed for over 100 years now, and he still hasn’t gone to see him. Being busy for that long just isn’t an excuse. Now I guess I can see a point that maybe this was the first time he realized he had a little brother. However, I believe that this isn’t the first time. Iceland’s “birth” scene has a blacked-out silhouette of Norway and his voice. Now we don’t know what Norway said, but this is implying to me that Norway knows Iceland exists.

Bottom line: Iceland's loneliness in his early childhood was avoidable. Norway could’ve shown up way earlier, but he didn’t. I’m not going to bash him that much for it, but this heavily affects Iceland. I can understand that Norway was most likely a teenager at this time who was focused on being a Viking and fighting other people. However, the negative impacts of this weigh heavy, and Norway’s nosy and overbearing behavior is probably him trying to compensate for not being there for Iceland during this time in his life.

Anyways, thank you for reading Part 1 of this historical Iceland analysis. Part 2 will cover a broader history. I feel like the reason this part was so long is simply because we have so much content of Iceland’s early life. If Part 3 is needed (honestly it might), I’ll let y’all know before Part 2 is published. Expect Part 2 to be published sometime around Thanksgiving, whether that’s before or after. Again, thank you for reading this. My notes app literally started glitching because of how long this was.

Link to Part 2

[sunnyloungee]

It was just a quick kiss on the cheek. (Ch. 1/3)

Relationship: Sami/Jey (SamiJey)

Rating: General — Sami wants Jey, feelings and emotions, pinning, mutual pinning, very brief mention of Jimmy and Kevin, Sami and Jey talk, feelings realization, getting together, kissing, smut, hand jobs, happy ending

Summary: Sami has feelings for Jey, he's been holding it in for a while now. But, he's just kissed Jey on SmackDown, live on TV. It's not a big deal right? It was just a quick kiss on the cheek. Jey wants to know what the kiss was about, he wants answers. And, he gets some. They sort it out. Ch. 1 - Sami's perception of Jey. Ch. 2 - seeing each other after the kiss and figuring it out. Ch. 3 - short chapter that will have the tiniest bit of smut. (Chapter 2-3 will be posted in a few days under one post)

Word count: 1246

Ao3 link - Ch. 1

Ch. 2-3 here.

*My masterlist*

A/N: So I decided to try something different and take a grain of an actual kayfabe scenario that occurred (the SamiJey kiss on [01/03/25] SmackDown) and draw from it to write a bit of a Fic. There will be three chapters. This story will make sense when you've read all the chapters. I'll post the next one in a few days. Hope you enjoy it! 🌸🌺

——

[— I'm not a "writer" —SO...Comments/Feedback would genuinely be appreciated. Obviously I'd really like to know if you enjoyed it - and comments are so wonderful and so motivating as well! 🩷 hit the like if you genuinely like it 😊 I'd love to know if it was any good. Thank you again for reading! 🩷]

**Tagging: @afterdarkprincess @fantasyismyonlyrealescape @imabillyami - thank you for the encouragement 🥰 - (if at all anyone wants to be tagged in my silly little fics let me know!)

——

~~Excerpt~~

There are times, Jey will give him a look. It makes Sami's heart clench and his stomach tighten. He’ll be gripping one of Jey's shoulders, grabbing his arms, thoroughly enjoying the close proximity the shared space, the contact, when Jey will just…look at him. It could hardly be considered romantic. It still makes Sami's heart clench and stomach tighten.

——

Chapter 2-3 will be up soon!

[cursio-neptune]

Crossover 3 Part 1/3 (this is my longest comic yet)

<< First < Previous ~*~ Next >

Confused on what's going on? Click here for the previous part of the Crossover. Click here to see the start of the arch.

Flower and Jelly first showed up in Replaced.

[bluerosefox]

[2023 Prompt List 1][Here] [2023 Prompt List 2][Next] [2023 Prompt List 3][Next]

|Why Ra’s Would Summon the Ghost King (Also Twins AU) [Part 1] |Danyal, Danny, Phantom [Part 2] |WIP [Part 3] |Bio!Dad Jason and Bio!Mom Jazz (With Oc!Kid or Son!Danny) |Ghost Gotham (With Bonus Ghosts Martha and Thomas) |Danny Says Clone Rights |Robin’s Haunted Halloween (Feat. Ghost King Danny and Ghostly grandparents Martha and Thomas) |Library Cryptid Danny |Twins to Trio? (Dani mistakes Damian as Danny, and Damian learns his twin might not be dead) |Twins AU BUT WITH ANGST! |Mom!Dani (Square up Superman) |Free Flying Graysons (Feat. Ghostly John and Mary Grayson) |Comes in Twos (Twins! Jason and Danny die on the same day) |Foreboding Words of Warnings (Feat. Competent Ghost King Danny) |Across My Memories (Feat. Ghost King Danny, Ghost!Prince Jason) |Consorthood Via Combat (Feat. Ghost King Danny, and Danny dating any Bat of your choosing) |Wrong Number Au (Danny sends a rant text to Tucker... Only its not Tucker) |Todd and Phantom, Mostly Ghostly Shenanigans (Danny and Jason try to get out of the GZ together and bond) |Ellie “I WILL bite you” and Danny “He’s just a baby” Fenton (Deaged Danny and caretaker (and tiny bit feral) Dani (Ellie) watch out Gotham, she’ll bite.) |Double Troubles (another Damian and Danny twin au but they wanna see how long their families notice they switch places) |Everything, including the bride. WAIT, BRIDE?! (Dead Tired pairing, Tim now regrets being a smart cookie as a kid and solving a magical puzzle box while Danny regrets beating Pariah Dark cause he got the old King’s bride now as his own) |CAT Ghost INSTINCTS (Damian brings home a... interesting new acquaintance who has some interesting... quirks) |Peek-A-Boo Champ! (Jazz and her baby being taken by a cult. Jason coming to save them. And Uncle Danny being the best at peek-a-boo) |Teeny-Tiny Kitten (Danielle ‘Ellie’ makes a wish and later gets found by a certain cat and bat) |Same As The Day I Lost You (Mix de-aged Danny, and siblings!Damian and Danny, add in some teleporting/portaling when the bats are fighting the League and you get this idea.) |Cuckoo Clocks (Clockwork sends a certain RR a sticky note during his solo run to come find Phantom and later find him) |The (Not) Normal One... (a reborn/reincarnted Danny idea where he’s the normal one in the batfam... only he’s really not.) |Dip and Kiss (Jason totally would kiss the person who ended the Joker in an Oscar worthy movie moment) |The Trouble With Time Travel Guilt (Danny starts an AITA thread due to his guilt over the future that will never be, he trauma bonds with fellow heroes and time travelers over it) |Friendships Between Realms (YJ and Danny Shenanigans Being Peek Friendship) |Misunderstandings and Miscommunications (Danny panics and runs, good Fenton parents want their son home, well meaning but not knowing the full picture best friends, on a war path Jazz and the maybe wooing of RH, and the DCverse getting caught in the middle of the chaos) |A Little Robin (Danny gets stuck in a Robin doll/plush and winds up in Gotham) |Kid's y'know? (Youngblood wants to be an astronaut this time, and Danny... Has to stop him from running amok the JL Watchtower) |Gothamites Never Really Rest (Johnny was a crime alley kid, Kitty was the daughter of a mob boss, and Jason was a kid they pseudo raised before their deaths. They meet again when Kitty and Johnny return to Gotham and find budding crime lord named Red Hood)

[monigote001]

Sweet moves vol 1

[koch-snowflake-blog]

桃月 なしこは、日本のコスプレイヤー、モデル、准看護師、女優、YouTuber。ゼロイチファミリア所属。 ウィキペディア

生まれ： 1995年11月8日 (年齢 28歳), 愛知県 豊橋市

身長： 160 cm

スリーサイズ： 84 - 60 - 87 cm

デビュー： 2017年

モデル内容： グラビア; ファッション

事務所： ゼロイチファミリア

他の活動： 女優; YouTuber

　　

[zeneby]

The Steam reviews for Ultrakill are well-read, but have you guys seen the reviews for the merch?? I hope I'm not the only one that's JUST read these now, but I'm fucking losing my mind

[that-tmr-girl]

Betrayer {Part 1}

Siding with WCKD and surviving seems to be a fate worse than death.

1,404

Masterbation, vaginal sex

“Wench.”

You didn't react to the insult. You never reacted to anything. Whether they were spoken under someone's breath or said loud enough for you to hear as you walked by, you remained silent and stone faced.

Life was hell. It had been since you got here. While you knew you wouldn't just be forgiven, you couldn't say you predicted it would drag on for months every day.

You knew what you did didn't end up the way it was supposed to. WCKD was supposed to be peaceful and painless while finding the cure. They weren't supposed to torture anyone or destroy anything. That hadn't been what they promised.

You were in too deep by the time you realized they didn't plan on keeping their world. You couldn't go back with your friends. You couldn't live alone in the city. Your hands had been tied. You would take the notes, look at their brains, take blood, anything for a cure.

A cure you never even got. A cure you would have to leave behind in a ruined city if you did. You lost everything for a cure that didn't and would never exist.

Sighing, you walked into your small home, shutting the door behind you before leaning against it. Slowly, weakly, you slid down it, closing your eyes as you wished more than anything that it would all go away. That this was all a bad dream or even that you wouldn't wake up tomorrow. Anything but what life was currently.

Pulling your knees to your chest, you buried your head in them as you silently sobbed, your nails digging into your arms as you were more out of control than you ever had been.

Exactly the way you made other people feel.

Yours would never end though. Not while you were still here.

Wiping your eyes, you looked around the room, a new plan in place. Standing up, you grabbed your bag from the floor as you began looking for anything and everything that would fit in it.

If you weren't welcome here, you wouldn't stay here. Even if the outside world was a death wish, it had something you didn't have at the safe haven.

A chance to change.

A few doors down, the atmosphere was completely different. Laying on his bed with his trousers and boxers around his ankles, Thomas was frantically pumping himself, his mind filled with thoughts of you. You had betrayed them. You had tortured them. He knew that.

But fuck, you looked good doing it.

He repeated your name through heavy breaths, increasing his pace as he twitched in his hand, secretly wishing it was you who was touching him, making him feel that way. The thought of being inside of you, no matter which way, was more than he could bear as he finished, his liquids dripping down his dick.

A pit formed inside his chest, shame bubbling over. It always did when he was done. He knew that.

And yet he couldn't find enough self control not to.

Pulling his pants up, he couldn't be bothered to zip them as he groaned, running his hands over his face. It was like a crash after a high.

It was a really, really good high though.

Catching his breath, he sighed as he just went to get some water, praying that maybe that would finally take his mind off of everything.

You were mostly packed, your few pairs of clothes and thin blanket in your bag. With it zipped up, you threw it over your back before sneaking out under the darkness of the night, walking across the long grass that reached for your ankles. Ignoring it despite it being for the last time, you made your way to your final stop here.

Seeing as the light were off, you didn't bother to knock as you walked into the kitchen, planning to just grab some food.

Something that turned out to be a mistake as he coughed on his drink as you turned the light on, his face flushing as the pit grew. It was almost like all his nights jacking off to you had somehow manifested that you two would end up alone.

“Sorry. Didn't know you were here,”You mumbled, opening the pantry, figuring he wouldn't care if he knew you were leaving. Nobody would. If anything, you were sure they would think it was for the best.

He watched, trying to gather his thoughts as you pulled out a few cans, placing your bag down and unzipping it. Piecing together what you were doing, he found himself speaking to you for the first time since you both got here.

“Where are you supposed to go?”

“Not here,”You said simply, your voice monotone.

“You can't just go somewhere with no plan. You're fine here,”He insisted, placing his cup down as his palms started sweating. Wiping them on his jeans, he kept his gaze on you.

“I am not fine here. I’m not going to stay somewhere I’m not wanted,”You said firmly.

“People want you here,”He tried. You scoffed at his words, not even validating it with a response as you dropped the food into your bag, zipping it back up. “Y/N, I know it's not always easy, but it's not like it’ll be forever. If you give it time-”

“Time? Time? Like what? Like six months?”You scowled, turning around and glaring at him.

“It's not like people are going to be mad forever-”

“Nobody's exactly eager to show me that, are they? You all fucking hate me, and I’m supposed to live with that? Why would I subject myself to any more of this? Why would I put myself through hell like this when I can just leave? People would probably fucking celebrate that. They hate me so much they’ll be more than alright with this. What kind of home-”

Cutting you off, his lips pressed against yours, his hand holding the back of your head. Closing your eyes, you found your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you kissed back, your bag dropping from your hand.

Grabbing your ass, he slipped his tongue inside of your mouth as he gripped it. Wrapping your legs around him, you kissed him harder as you accidentally grinded against him, making him groan.

With your lips still connected, he carried you to the counter, dropping you on it before unzipping his pants. Breath heavy in anticipation, you jumped down, your back turned to him, as you forced your pants to your ankles, your panties going with them.

Holding your waist, he moved your hair over your back as he leaned in, his warm breath on your ear.

“Do you really want this?”

“Yes,”You assured him.

Positioning his cock by your entrance, he nudged inside of you, making you whimper. Groaning, he pulled out before slamming into your cunt, greedily thrusting in and out.

You moaned as your eyes shut, pleasure traveling up your spine. Laying your head down, you groaned as he fucked you the way he had wanted to for so long. Both of you were already wet, him from his recent orgasm and you from how turned on you were.

Tightening his hold on you, he dropped his head, watching your back arch as you clenched around him. It was even better than he imagined, a feeling that could never be matched again.

As you tightened around his throbbing cock, getting louder and louder, he twitched inside of you, alerting you that he too felt the pure ecstacy.

Nothing would ever match this feeling again. Absolutely nothing.

He finally had what he wanted.

And you? You may have found a reason to stay.

You breathed out his name as you finished, your eyes shut as you dripped down your thighs. Breathing heavily, he threw his head back as he shot his warm seed inside of you, filing your insides until you were overflowing.

He pulled out of you as you rested your elbows on the counter. Taking a breath, you looked over at him as he did the same.

“Can you please stay?”He whispered, moving a lock of hair behind your ear.

You weren't sure it was actually a good idea. You weren't sure if you were just deciding things because of the high you reached.

None of that mattered though. It didn't stop you from saying yes.

[strangelittlestories]

On the colony world of Lir, where water covered most of the planet and resources were scarce, a new age of sail came about.

Many wondrous features of the planet made this possible. Consider the ferrous algae that could be spun into sails with incredible tensile strength. Gaze in awe at the floating forests like lily pads grown gargantuan, provided a sustainable source of timber and a platform for mobile fortresses.

But the occurrence that provoked the most awe (and horror) was when the jellyfish rocked up to the colony, squatting in the craniums of bleached bone skeletons with bloody hearts glowing in their chest cavities.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Never Let Me Go (pt.1)

kai parker x reader | heretic!kai | part 1/3

summary: you're getting used to the coldness in your apartment. the chill that lingers in the air, the absence of his presence. for four months you wait for him, willing for the past and cursing those who've altered your future; wishing for the way things used to be, and hoping they wouldn't be lost beyond repair. but the next time you see him, out on your doorstep, you realize you can't just pick up the pieces, you have to restart the whole puzzle.

tags: post s06e22, heartache, emotional hurt / mild comfort, angst, arguing

word count: 2k

a/n: it's been one of the worst weeks of my life, so here's a little angst. i hope to have more out soon, and aside from the other two parts of this (well, one, bc the third part is smutty), some softer things!

You sigh deeply as you climb into bed, alone, for the billionth time. Your bed used to be warm, full, and safe, and now it’s just cold. For a while, you couldn’t even stand the feeling and had to sleep on the couch, but then one month turned into four, and you had to go back to the bed at some point. 

For four months, your boyfriend was trapped in a prison world by one of your best friends. When he finally got out, he brought chaos along with him in the form of one curse and a hundred deaths. One of those, being his own. Luckily, he had drunk the blood of a vampire, which brought him back, but not quite as the same boy he used to be. 

The first night after his transformation, he returned to bed with you. By morning, he was gone. When asked what happened, he couldn’t really say. His emotions, already confusing, were even more out of place, and he couldn’t predict even his own usually sporadic actions. A taste for blood and a ringing in his ear kept him up all night, and the sight of you made him afraid. If he’d hurt you, he would never forgive himself. 

So, for the last three weeks, your bed has been empty just as it had when he was gone. Frankly, you have no idea where Kai sleeps, or if he even does. The rest of the heretics have taken to an old abandoned house on the town’s border, but you doubt he’s there. Worry keeps you awake most nights, and the only reason you fall asleep is out of pure exhaustion. You love him, but lately you feel like he loves you less. 

Tonight’s like any other in your new routine. Watch an episode and drink down a glass of wine. Or bourbon. Or even vodka, on worse days. Curl yourself into a ball when you finally do go up to bed. Cuddle into the stuffed bat that Caroline gifted you after she found out what happened after the 1903 visit. She knew it hurt you, what Bonnie did. Even if it was “for the better”, she knew it broke your heart. 

You kiss the head of the little animal, then heave a heavy sigh. Sleep could overtake you in five minutes or five hours, depending on what your body demands. After three minutes, you start counting sheep, calling on the help of more animals to guide you to REM. 

Forty-six sheep have jumped the fence when there’s suddenly a bold knock at your door. You scramble in anxiety, but then freeze in an attempt to hear better. 

Maybe you imagined it. Maybe you had finally fallen asleep. 

But then there’s another knock. 

It’s probably Damon, you think. He’s disturbed you several times in the middle of the night. He probably lost a hold of his mother and is wondering if you’ve seen her. Or it’s Caroline, seeking advice whilst forgetting the time on the clock. Or maybe it’s your upstairs neighbor, angry about you taking his usual parking spot, since he took yours the day before. 

Your head runs rampant with possibilities as you urge yourself to answer the door. Your blanket is still wrapped around your body, though you leave your bat in bed.

When you open the door, you’re stunned to see none other than Kai Parker standing there, smiling, despite pain clouding in his eyes. 

“Kai?” You ask, voice quieter than you intended.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here? It’s late.”

It’s weird to see him. Honestly, you had to run back your memory and try to think if your last conversation ended in a break-up. It hadn’t. 

“Can I come in?”

He’s been invited in; he was on the first night. Still, he asks now.

“Okay.”

You shut the door as he enters. Then, pulling the blanket closer to you, you nod to the couch. He follows, but you sit on separate ends.

“You look warm,” he says. 

You bite back a reply to say you feel the opposite. In fact, your whole apartment feels cold without him. “What brings you here?” You repeat instead. 

“I miss you.” He shrugs off his boots, but leaves the jacket on. “And I’m sorry.”

You furrow your eyebrows and he immediately sighs.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. The only time we’ve talked in weeks is at the grill, and even then, I’ve been distant.”

“Mhm. So why now? What changed?”

“I promised you I’d be the best boyfriend I could be when we started dating, and I know for a fact that I haven’t been. And things have been difficult lately, y’know, since 1903, and the wedding, and the… everything. There’s been a lot of change. A lot of adjustments.” He’s stalling and you both know it. 

“Make your point, Parker,” you say coldly.

“I was sitting at the grill, just now, watching this couple. They were both drunk off their asses and being all handsy, and the bartender kicked them out for it, and everyone in that bar knows what they’re doing right now. But on their way out, they had to pass me, and heard them both tell the other they loved them, and it made me think of you. The first time you told me you loved me. The first time I said it back, and the first time I recognized I felt it, even if I didn’t understand it. Made me think of you, and our relationship, and what I’ve seemingly abandoned, but I promise, I never wanted this to become of us.” Tears well in his eyes as he rambles. You’ve never seen him cry. “Everything I said, that night after I left, was true. I’m so scared to hurt you that I don’t even want to put you in a position where I could. And on top of that… don’t you hate me?! I ruined your life, Y/N. I ruined your best friends’ lives, I killed my whole family. Why don’t you fucking hate me?!”

“Do you want me to hate you?”

“No! I love you, and you’re the only person who has ever loved me, but I’m a fucking horrible person.”

“Everyone in this town is fucking horrible, have you seen it? People, in general, are flawed and vicious, and yet most people have at least a few to whom they stick, and love, and are loved back.”

“You’re not like that.”

“But I still have flaws.”

“Your only flaw is loving me.”

“Kai-”

“Don’t-”

“Don’t fucking interrupt me,” you snap, getting upset. “If I want to fucking love you, I will. I don’t see it as a flaw, no matter what you’ve done. I’m so pissed off at you right now, how you come here and act like loving you is a chore, when you’ve been the absent one. I haven’t slept well in five fucking months because I’ve been worried about you. I don’t care what fears you have about hurting me. If you feel that way, then let us work through it. I’d rather have at least been given the chance to help you than for you to just block me out. I do love you, and while I have to convince myself every day that you still love me, it doesn’t make me love you less. I fucking wish I could. If I could, I’d turn off my fucking humanity and not give a shit, but I can’t do that, so I sit in this apartment and rot.”

He opens his mouth, but then stops and bites his tongue. Smart. 

“I can’t take this anymore, emotionally.” You finally say. “I need you here or I need you out.”

To avoid his gaze any longer, you stand up and head to the kitchen. He watches you turn on the Keurig and retrieve a cup, but doesn’t say anything. You turn your back for two seconds to grab the creamer from the fridge, and when you turn around again, he’s there, pulling sugar from your cupboard. You jump, not used to seeing him move so fast, and for a moment, forgetting heretics could. He swallows hard, seemingly taking it as a sign you’re afraid of him. 

“Give me that,” he gestures to the carton in your hand. His tone is gentle, there’s nothing demanding about it. 

For some reason, you do. You stand there, watching, as he crafts your cup of coffee in the way he always would. He has a way in the kitchen that you’d never understand. 

He snaps his fingers, and immediately you bring him the cinnamon from your spice rack. It’s muscle memory, part of your routine. 

He then puts the cup under the stream of hot coffee as the Keurig works its own magic. Eye contact is avoided at all costs. He stares down at your marble cabinet. Your eyes are trained on his arm. 

When the coffee is done pouring, he sets it in front of you to cool. For a minute, you won’t touch it. For a minute, he can explain. 

“I still love you. And in an attempt to not hurt you, I hurt you worse than I could’ve imagined. It’s not an excuse, but 1903 did something to me. I shut down, emotionally, I think. It felt hopeless, any chance of escaping, or of seeing you again. My only company were the heretics that had been there for a century and had no idea, whatsoever, of how to escape.” He’s running out of time. You watch the steam cool off the top of your cup.

“I told them about you, and how much I loved you… because I was feeding them. I woke them all up and let them drink from me. Those scars all healed when I turned, but my arms and neck were littered with bites. God, I’m glad you didn’t see it. But I was so bored, and lonely, and wanted to know if they had any idea of how to get out. Again, they didn’t. But then, one day that we were plotting an escape, I remembered how we got Bonnie out, and realized it would be applicable to that time, considering Quetsi-what died in the days of the Greeks.”

You almost chuckle at that.

“But when I got out, I was so hellbent on revenge, that I did what I did, and I know I did everything wrong, and I should’ve just come to you, but my brain isn't… wired that way.” He hesitates to say that detail. At the end of the day, he’s still a sociopath. If revenge is on his mind, it’s the only thing on his mind. 

“And so I’m sorry about all of it. I swore I would protect you, and that included protecting you emotionally, and I’ve failed at that. I don’t want out, I want to be here, if you’ll have me back.”

You take a sip of the coffee, now cool. The flavors are perfect and warm your cold soul up just the way you’ve needed it for months. 

“I’d rather have you with me than anywhere else,” you admit.

“Every day without you has been a living hell.”

“Where have you been sleeping?”

“Sometimes with the heretics. Sometimes in the old Lockwood cellar, or just the woods. A couple times…” he stops himself.

“A couple times?”

“Outside your apartment. In the bushes. Where I could hear your heartbeat, but could keep a safe distance.”

“Kai…”

“I really hope you watched a lot of sad movies, and that they were the reason for your tears.”

You bite your lip. You both know you didn’t. 

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.” In half a second, he’s in front of you, rubbing his thumb along your chin. 

You still don’t look at him. “Please don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t. I swear-” he stops. He swore to you last time. “I promise I won’t. I won’t leave you, ever.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Tears flood your eyes once more as you wrap your arms around his body. You bury your face in his chest, and he pulls you close. Hands find their way to your hair, massaging your head comfortingly. With time, you find your way back to the couch, coffee in hand. But despite the strength of the coffee, you’re asleep in no time. You’re finally back in the warmth and safety of his arms.