#people are so cool...

[kkoct-ik]

hey! idk if it's okay to ask, it's okay to ignore this. how did you come to terms with being trans and decide to transition with the identity confusion? i'm not sure what i have going on specifically but i'm struggling with that. like if a part has dysphoria/ids as trans but another one doesn't, how do you know if you're trans? it isn't uncommon for parts to have different genders, isn't it? i imagine it depends a lot on the individual but i'd like to hear if you have any thoughts on the matter

oh im glad you asked this!! i actually have a lot to say on this from my experiences. im so happy to answer this

overall i think people can do anything. if by 'being trans' you mean express yourself, literally just do it. you dont have to justify yourself or have a 'legitimate reason' to shift your identity or presentation or experiment. youre always growing, always changing, humans are complex and awesome. dont shy away from being colourful and multifaceted.

that said i do know medical transition with dissociative stuff is kind of a hot topic because of its 'irreversibility', and i do have things to say, so ill ramble about my experiences with being a pwdid who has chosen to medically transition.

to contextualise myself ive been 'trans' since i was 12/13(?). this is when i first started presenting myself as male and using a new name. since then ive gone through a few different male primary identities but i've stayed pretty consistently ftm. when pitching myself to healthcare providers, i can pretty easily tell them that ive been unwaveringly socially presenting as male since i was 12.

that said when it came to my 20s and the prospect of actually booking those appointments and securing masculinising hrt i kind of had an identity crisis. because although my primary identities have been male for a long time, theyve also always been very kinda miserable and felt kinda wrong and disengaged (which makes me believe a lot of my binary maleness is a way i reject myself. which made me think, if the gender dysphoria is a dissociative symptom, won't healing my trauma get rid of it..?). moreover when ive been in certain female parts ive felt comfortable and happy, so clearly girlhood in general is to an extent grounding to me. but still, the notion of being seen as and treated as a woman makes me feel bad, even when in female parts. my pronouns are definitely he/him.

so i had no idea 'what' i was. i really felt the possibility that down the line id have a totally different gender, and maybe not be 'trans' at all, so i worried about healing my trauma and then regretting medically transitioning.

what i ended up doing was just a lot of introspection into my identity. i decided to accept that i was allowed to make choices and exercise my autonomy for my present self, without being paralysed about a possible future. i knew if i just kept waiting and being afraid, i was going to remain disconnected from myself, forever wondering if transitioning could have made me feel better. i reckoned even if i did detransition in the future, i would still respect my past decision, because i was going to put a lot of thought into this decision and make it for myself and my happiness with the information i have now, as i should.

i ended up frequenting the actual_detrans sub for a bit to make sure i was open to the possibility to changing my mind in the future, and also so i could be assured i wasnt just operating under sunk cost fallacy by locking in and medically transitioning because i felt like being 'wrong' wasnt an option. i also reflected on my identity as a whole, and figured collectively, im definitely nonbinary in some sense (luckily, im at a point in recovery where i am relatively integrated, and thus can piece together my 'big picture' and come to this conclusion. this will probably be harder for others...). when considering all my parts: i enjoy regarding myself as a 'girl', a 'man', and in a masculine/butch way. so i took that when working out how to become 'myself' without worrying about using singular or binary labels.

i decided from that point that i would enjoy the effects of testosterone, but dont necessarily want any surgeries done. i dont hate any part of my body, but it does feel strange, and i want to grow into it in a masculine way. my teenage female puberty never really felt 'real', and i was very estranged from my body. looking at myself, i still felt prepubescent in some sense. so a second puberty, one that i was actually ready for and chose, was appealing to me. for me hrt isnt about fixing anything i deem wrong with me, and is more about showing myself i can be me and feeling more at home within myself.

and as a progress report. since starting hrt (9 months ago) i really have found all the changes really joyful, and ive finally started feeling like i own my identity, body, and myself. i see myself as adorable and cute now. since the voice drop and hairiness i feel like an even happier 'girl' and more comfortable as myself. ultimately im really glad i didnt stay paralysed with my 'what-ifs', and im also glad i didnt lock myself into a conventional transition timeline (ie incl. surgeries) without pausing and taking the time to assess who i am what it really is i want out of this care. i think i made a really good call.

so yeah. i hope!!! my ramblings help at all. i do understand the struggle. hopefully me breaking down my process can be assuring or illuminating. i believe in you anon and i hope you work things out

[goldensunset]

if someone is talking about how much they love their parents do not jump in and start venting about your issues with your parents. if someone is venting about their issues with their parents do not jump in and start talking about how much you love your parents. peace and love amen swag city

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

[ionomycin]

Grief

ref photo by @jawsstone

[emilnikos]

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

apologies

[boo-cool-robot]

it is frustrating to be in a fandom where an interesting and narrratively significant female character seems to be widely popular, only to realize that actually most people are just going "wow cool sword girlboss" and not um. thinking about her point of view or internal life at all

[crystallized-cheese]

so like imagine Undertale characters but they're all crafts supplies Part Triple (Sans and Papyrus) (Undyne and Alphys) (Frisk and Flowey) (Napstablook and Mettaton)

[notbecauseofvictories]

I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

[thepioden]

if you ever go to an art gallery and you see a painting and you think "that sucks. I could do that." maybe you can! I think a lot of people could do like. Matisse. Mondrian. Rothko. From a technical standpoint at least. Not everyone but a good number of people. But please consider: Artists™ aren't special people. They're just people. Just regular folks with something to say and a trained skill who showed that skill to the right people.

So instead of being like "that sucks! that's dumb! I could do that. It shouldn't be in a gallery." instead try, "I could do that. I should be in a gallery." and then do it and go and show your art to people.

[mark-the-snark]

The reward for the quickest a media made me do fanart goes to these guys ☝️☝️☝️

Also if it's hard to tell what's happening, the kitty made him a new tail. U may not believe it, but I almost cried drawing this 😔

[noodles-and-tea]

I think the new memories that are being made come to the future stans in their dreams

[joshuamj]

Okay, but what if EoW!Zelda had to impersonate Link

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)