#personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not

[starphobe]

fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new

[fafodill]

What are your top five Severus Snape headcanons?

(Feel free to add more)

Aaah thank you for such a lovely ask, I have quite a few but I'd say my top 5 are :

He's autistic. For me his social awkwardness and his very clear special interests read as neurodivergent traits. Ofc he was raised in an poor abusive home as an only child which didn't help him socialize normally but I always found 'odd' how much he seemed to have struggled making friends at Hogwarts. Figuring out in his mid-teens how to finally blend with people reminds me of an autistic person figuring out the weird rules of society. He's clearly highly intelligent and I can imagine his talent as a spy coming from his capacity to observe other people and be whatever they need him to be, which reminds me a lot of masking. Also I imagine him not being very expressive (he has such a resting bitch face mood) and liking having a clear routine. Like, let him have his coffee and breakfast every morning the exact same way, sitting in the exact same spot, reading his newspaper. He'd make a scene in the staff room if they were to move his armchair by the window. It was perfectly well there, don't you dare move it.

He smokes. He picked up the habit when he was 14, in Spinner's end, while hanging out once with other kids from the neighborhood. He doesn't smoke often but as he's so stressed all the time, especially at the end of terms at Hogwarts (he's so overworked), he takes smoking break. A few members of the staff are aware of it but he doesn't like people knowing.

He gets along really well with Minerva. They have a lot of mutual respect for each other, both being hard-working and having strong sets of values (even if they disagree). They have a strong friendship, though it come across as professional, and an unspoken mother-son bond. They never addressed it, though when he started teaching at Hogwarts and fell hard in depression after Lily's death, Minerva was the one who helped him the most in a strangely maternal way. She also knew he had lost his mother and even though he absolutely refused to talk about it (maybe it happened once), she knew he was going through a lot. She's the only one who ever saw him cry, once, during that period. She's also the only one who addressed the fact that they should have done something about James and Sirius back then. He didn't comment on it but deep down he appreciated it. Also they take smoke breaks together.

About his body: he's got a mole on his cheek. I just think it suits him well. He's got quite a few on his body. I don't see him having many scars tbh. I know a lot of people imagine him covered in it from his DE time or his father. I think he has a few from his father (the belt didn't leave much mark, maybe one or two but it's very hard to see) but the cigarette buds on his arm are quite visible. Other than that, I imagine him having very soft, delicate skin.

He's got a dirty mouth. Again, that's from his upgringing in Spinner's End. His father was very bad mouthed, and I think that when his mother was pissed she might have been a bit too. Also everyone outside was spitting out the worst vulgar shit you could imagine. He's not proud of it as it reminds him of his childhood and he tried his best suppress it and look posh but deep down... he's just a very bad-mouthed kid. And he swears like a sailor when he's furious or - especially - when he hurts himself. I read a fic once where he had to have his bones mended in the infirmary when he was a student (thanks JP) and Mrs Pomfrey was the only one who knew about this as it had happened quite a few times already. And it was all "cock-sucking-motherfucker-mmmAAHHGH" and I loved it sm I think it happened ONCE in front of the students when he had to save a someone from a badly bubbling cauldron and got burnt HARD and he started shouting a few insults but stopped himself very quickly. It was quite the talk for a few months.

I could add much more but these are the ones I could think of at the top of my head !

Bonus one : he hates corn. Don't ask me why, I just decided (well because the first time we ever see him in the first movie, he has a PLATE OF CORN in front of him and I don't know, I just cannot picture him eating corn, it looks so stupid in my head and I just randomly decided he didn't like that lol)(but maybe I should do a hc post with foods/drinks he likes, waddaya think ?)

[the-kingshound]

Okay. I must say... I'm a bit confused. Why didn't the other Houses tell the Venegard family Arthur's point-of-view? As I read the rewritten demo, I can't help but think if this is a way that the other Houses trying to disregard the Venegard House's military force since they're considered the highest in Ireland. And, can i ask if Arthur currently rule both Camelot and Ireland? Also, what's the family rank? I can only imagine at least Duke or Archduke. Also, can we know what happened to Emyr when he married to his current House? Did his wife have a lover or is menacing to him from the start just like Osia? Speaking of Osia, what is she so mean towards the rest of her family except Adrei? I can't help but wonder if she's raised differently, because... from what I've seen so far, she's... I don't know the right word, but... Pure evil. Something just tell me pure evil.

Ohh so many interesting questions.

1) They did not because they, themselves, aren't aware of Arthur's position about mages. The closer to Camelot (the capital) might know Arthur has never once persecuted mages in their years on the throne, and that they are generally a kind/peaceful ruler, but Arthur really never did a declaration about mages (because reasons that will be explored in game).

2) In the rewrite, Arthur rules over Camelot, which as a kingdom includes Ireland + Wales.

3) I really haven't assigned the titles yet, but House Venegard would be at the level of Archduke, politically and on the military side.

4) Emyr simply is a very reserved person who struggles to adapt to new environments and to get along with the majority of people (he is likely neurodivergent) and not only he feels very uncomfortable in his wife's House, but his wife is also someone with little regard to his comfort. She thinks he should just get it over with, while Emyr closes up on himself further and further, even refusing to leave his own rooms for weeks at a time.

She's not a bad person, but she is a bad wife, and the marriage as a whole is very bad for Emyr.

5) Osia's character has been shaped by her upbringing for sure, but she is also like that by nature. She sees things in a rigid way, and always finds faults in others when things leave her frustrated, angry or disappointed. She is bound by dury, like her siblings, but she sees it in her own warped way, and by that, most of her siblings fail their House. She thinks Adrei and her are the only ones to truly work for their House, and she resents the rest of her siblings for not doing their part properly or at all.

(Plus, she clearly lacks empathy)

[nothing-ramblings]

i DO think laios is "autism creature" autistic. I think he's actually a great example of that. Most of the time i see the autism creature associated with special interests and hyperfixations and there's no way you could argue that's not a trait he has, it's a major plotnpoint that drives the story forward along with his other motivation. Something I also see a lot is the austism creature being used as an example of cluelessness, because of its expression. How are you gonna point to his social awkwardness, the fact that he's literally completely clueless about making people uncomfortable unless it's explicitly stated to him, and say he doesn't fit that description. I'n not sure what "tumblr" autism is supposed to mean, the person was probably talking about the more palatable traits people discuss more openly, but do you really think people aren't socially awkward in this webbed site?

i saw a rlly good post reacting to someone else's rotten take, unfortunately at the time i was too tired to read the full post and i ended up losing it, so i don't remember what all it said but basically the rotten take was calling laios creepy (in a "funny haha way" to disguise it) due to his traits, and op of the post i saw was explaining how that's fucked up. I think from what I skimmed it was very personal, comparing their own experiences to laios and honestly that might be my favorite thing about him. He doesn't just have the "palatable" traits that people are comfortable seeing. He is clueless, he had no idea someone disliked him, he even thought they were close friends, because that person never let him know when he was crossing a boundary until it was too much. Soon after this almost the opposite happens, where he doesn't believe someone else wants to be his friend, because now he's aware that he can't pick up on social cues, and he also knows he caused this person discomfort before, so why would they want to be his friend? He's "messy" in that he has a lot of traits people like to avoid when talking about autism, because it's stuff neurotypicals don't like.

He's literally that kid who people would be like "oh well if i knew he was autistic i wouldn't have treated him badly" (which is stupid, you should treat people well in general and not be an asshole then apologize because someone is actually neurodivergent or mentally ill). And guess what? He has friends who love him. They know he's awkward and clueless and has "weird" interests and they still love him. He has people who will stand up for him even after coming to the conclusion that he's "a little creepy" because they know he's a good person, and they like his honesty. Someone explicitly admits they envy his ability to be so openly himself, even after that same person tried to frame that trait as a bad thing, because they realized what they hated wasn't laios honesty but the fact that laios is able to act that way, while most people feel trapped by social rules and don't have that same freedom to be themselves. Laios can be himself not because society accepts him, in fact the first assumption when the elves learn he likes monsters is that he must be prone to evil. Because that's weird and creepy. Society does not accept him. His friends do. His sister does, she loves him and looks up to him as an adult as much as she did as a child. He has a support system. He is loved. Even people who don't necssarily love him know he could never become evil, even if they also think his special interest is a bit creepy. Because they know laios, actually know him, and they know that in his awkwardness he's still a kind person. He misses a lot of social cues, sometimes he says things that are tone deaf without realizing at all, and his friends know he means no harm. He just struggles with these things.

I think laios is a very good example of how nobody is unlovable, regardless of how awkward or clueless you might be, even if your special interest is something perceived as creepy. To me Laios is a reminder for anyone who needs to hear it that you are deserving of love too. Maybe you just beed to find a better support system, and that might take a while, but there's people who will love you the way you are, and accept you the way you are

[priscnbreak]

#PRISCNBREAK [ ... ]  An independent, semi selective, multi muse, rp/ask blog of some canon characters from the MCYT universe. penned by Koe. (she/they/idgaf, 23, usa) [ ... ] DSMP heavy but i might add characters from other variety of other mcyt and adjacent media. RULES will be under the keep reading! please read before interacting.

CHARACTER CALL: Joydev (Dream), Tommy, Grian

potential future CHARACTER LINE UP: Technoblade, Quackity, Will [ ... ]

this blog is set during any point within the DSMP universe, as well as pre or post such a time.

Askbox is OPEN! Spam is welcome and encouraged! come as yourself, as your canons, ocs, anons, and other varieties. (doubles welcome!) [ ... ] Asks and memes from other MCYT points in time, such as Hermitcraft, QSMP, etc. are welcome as well! (If you're unsure of which placement in the MCYT universe a specific character is set, please ask!) There's no set lore for these characters, and I'm open to ideas and thoughts if you'd like to write with someone in particular. DMs are OPEN! Asks inquiring about a character and their actions, personality, why they do something, or what have you, are also heavily welcome! If you're struggling to find a way to interact, please feel free to just shoot me a DM, an ask, throw a meme/prompt my way. I don't bite, and chances are, I'm probably just as nervous. I enjoy building connections and vibes with people, so please, do not hesitate to reach out if you want to establish something!

#( OOC ) , where you can find mun talking! #( memes / prompts ) , memes, prompts, etc! #( askbox / answered ) , ask tags, answered asks found here. #( character study / art ) , where you can find headcanons pertaining to ABOUT the characters I write. #( ' All was done / I thought I'd won ' — Joydev ; DSMP ) , Anything pertaining to Joydev (Dream) #( ' Wanna live like an animal / By the skin of your teeth ' — Tommy ; DSMP ) , Anything pertaining to Tommy [ ... ] more TBA

INBOX; 7 DRAFTS; 0 [ ... ]

✶ My activity depends very heavily on what's happening in my real life. I'll be around all day sometimes, and not at all others. Please be patient, and do not rush me. I'm here to have fun, not stress. ✶ We do not consider or condone the actions of cc!s here, and I certainly am not going to tolerate shit being started over writing fictional characters interacting with other fictional characters. Also, I'm writing characters, not the content creators. I do not care about cc! boundaries, either. these are fictional blorbos I will spin around. (We stan c! not cc! here, thanks) ✶ Shipping [ ... ] as it stands, I'm fine with shipping. So, if you write a particular muse you'd like to ship with one of mine, just let me know! (additionally, no characters that were played by minors will be shipped with characters who were played by adults. so DSMP Tubbo will not be shipped with an adult, but QSMP Tubbo, with cc!Tubbo having been an adult, can be shipped with any adult.) ✶ Some other vibes I really really love tend to be found family, especially brotherly types of bonds. unwavering loyalty, religious trauma/cult mentality, toxic relationships/interactions, QPR, hurt and comfort things, as well as just outright throwing a character into their feels to cope with real life. (I am queer, and neurodivergent, so a lot of my characters will show traits of these things, as well as other things too.) ✶ The mun is 23 years old, so 18+ discussion and mention (or asks) is fine. It will be hidden under keep reading, and I will tag it accordingly. (If you're a minor, do not ask or send explicit things, you will be blocked on sight.) ✶ Themes of DDDNE content, however I will tag and hide these things accordingly. Drugs, alcohol, abuse, trauma, mentions/acts of slavery, religion, human/unethical experimentation etc will be present. Anything within the DSMP will be shown here and I'll dive into it headfirst. Please expect heavier content, and if that's something your nervous about, feel free to DM me about it. ✶ All this being said, do not expect my characters to act one way or the other. I write them as I see fit (which is mostly HEAVILY headcanon based), and if you have a problem with how I write them, or want a specific interaction to go a certain way, please reach out in DMs!

[duchessofostergotlands]

Just read your last post on autism and well you sound like me. I don't even have a diagnosis because it could stop me from becoming a public servant which I want to be (governmental prejuidice is amazing, isn't it?). However, I also have ADHD as a possible side "quest" on my laundry list. Everything I learned about it in women in recent years screams my experience. However, no one thought to test me because I did academically well like you in school and didn't have issues conforming to classroom rules. Back then you had to be a boy, running around constantly and failing classes to even get a consideration for ADHD here. No one saw that school was my own personal dopamine farm and that I constantly quietly fidgeted with something.

Idk where I'm going with this here but yeah I just felt seen by your post. I think I want a diagnosis eventually after I got my public servant position but I'm also scared of looking for one. Because what if it isn't depression, autism, ADHD and/or even BPD? What if I'm just a lazy slob that peaked in school and someone who is just easily distracted and not great at social interactions I haven't played through in my head a thousand times before?

Hello :) The internet can be a terrible thing but the best part of it is there will be someone, somewhere, who has experienced what you are experiencing. So yes, totally relate to what you're saying. I have similar thoughts all the time. "Maybe I'm just lazy, maybe I'm just sensitive, maybe I'm just a bitch" lol. To be honest I think genuinely lazy people probably don't ever think about the fact they're lazy or get upset about it so it's probably an indication you're not. Like I often think "am I actually a good person?" but I don't think genuinely bad people ever consider that!

I did see something helpful a little while ago. The comedian Aisling Bea did an interview where she talked about her ADHD and the shame she felt when she believed she was just lazy. She said that she loves acting and she can get given a script and learn three pages of dialogue over night - her dialogue and everyone else's - and people are astonished. But you give her a simple task like filling in a form and she just can't do it. I suspect you might find you're the same way. If someone gives you a task you enjoy or find value in then you can probably do it more quickly and to a higher standard than other people. You are capable of hard work. But if it's a task you don't enjoy or think is pointless you will feel like there's some kind of forcefield stopping you from doing it. I also think if it was just laziness, if it was a choice, then no one would ever choose to be lazy about things which are detrimental to them. The call it took me 3 months to make was to register with a doctor. It was really important, it was harmful to me to not have a doctor, and yet I couldn't do it. If I could have gone online and done the whole process there I would have. But I couldn't do it because I had to make a phone call which I struggle with. So if you 1) find that you are capable of putting in hard work in certain things and 2) find that the kinds of tasks you struggle with are important tasks and not doing them is potentially detrimental to you, it isn't just laziness. I think it comes out in a lot of women when we leave school because we don't have structure, routine, someone caring for us. The fact so many neurodivergent women were high achievers in school and burnt out later in life is not a coincidence!

But also, something I don't see talked about that much is how sometimes we are lazy but that laziness is a totally natural response to how exhausting it is to be neurodivergent. Having to be constantly aware of how you talk, how you sit, how you write all day to fit in with a world that you don't fully understand but you know if you get it wrong you could lose your job, your home, everything. The stress, the anxiety, the energy involved in that. After years and years of dealing with this, you are going to crash. So when we do have a rare good day where we feel energised, sometimes we choose to do the fun thing instead of the task we have to do. Other people can be productive because they know that they will probably have the chance to be lazy later in the day or the next day or the next week. Whereas I don't know when I'll next have that opportunity. So sometimes we are being "lazy" but it's to try and repair the years and years of exhaustion and anxiety and stress that has built up! Other people are allowed to be occasionally lazy but we punish ourselves for it so much.

[captainclickycat]

I think I've hit upon one of the reasons I hate the "eldest daughter syndrome" thing so much is because so many of the characteristics people talk about apply to my own mother (who was the youngest girl in her family) so much more than they do to me.

For various reasons my mum grew up feeling like it was her job to take care of other people and was pressured to overachieve and put everyone before herself, her parents played favourites in a weird way, and then had a kid relatively young and wound up spending almost her entire adult life raising children almost singlehandedly which by the sound of it exacerbated that whole thing.

She talks a lot now about growing up feeling like a people-pleaser and having trouble setting boundaries, which definitely comes across and which honestly has caused a lot of strain and frustration when you're on the other side feeling like "it's fine if you can't do the thing but just tell me, stop being all vague and delicate about it and making me feel like I have to psychically divine what's going on" and "I'm not trying to force you into a corner by asking directly for something, you can say no and it's not fair to act like I'm pressuring you just by asking" and blah blah blah. Teach your kids that they can have boundaries, folks. Otherwise it's a whole thing.

Anyway, as a result of that she wound up pretty determined not to put the same kind of pressure or pigeonholing on her own kids. Whilst that kind of terminology might not have factored in, looking back there were a lot of measures put into place to ensure that I was at minimal risk of developing "eldest daughter syndrome". Which I'm inclined to say largely worked.

I don't feel like it's my job to look after other people. I tend to assume other people can look after themselves and they'll ask for my help if they need it. I have an instinctive "lol not my job" response to the idea of impromptu-babysitting other people's kids without being asked. I never felt under any particular pressure to overachieve that my siblings weren't (and the general vibe was "we'd like you to do your best but if you're happy that's the main thing"). I wasn't pressured to put other people before myself any more than the standard "everyone has to do that sometimes".

I won't say I've never struggled to uphold boundaries or felt bad about disappointing people, but it's not a major issue for me in the way it is for some people. If I know I don't have the capacity to do someone a favour I'm pretty comfortable saying "won't be able to fit that in, sorry!" and I don't mind people sometimes finding me a bit rude or standoffish because I don't let them touch me or go along with everything they want. Generally speaking, any personal insecurities and struggles I have tend to come down to some other factor (capitalism, being neurodivergent, not wanting to do things the traditional socially-accepted way, and what have you) than to having grown up as the eldest girl.

But the people who get prescriptive about "eldest daughter syndrome" would basically project my mum's characteristics onto me and then act like it was some indelible rule of nature because I was the eldest and she wasn't. And I feel like it's sort of... failing to give her credit, honestly. Parentifying their kids (eldest daughters or otherwise) is something parents do, not something that "just happens" as a natural occurrence, any more than enforced traditional gender roles "just happen".

I used to feel weird about complaining, because if the bad thing didn't apply to me shouldn't I just count myself lucky and go on my merry way? But idk I think I'm onto something here. The way this gets framed often ends up projecting baggage and personality traits onto people who don't have them, and ignoring those same traits in people who do have them just because they don't fit the template people have in their heads. You have to ask yourself sometimes when you're talking about wider social trends, are you actually critiquing them in a meaningful way, or are you crossing over into reinforcing them?

[bcnooneasked]

08/24/24 6:43 am - Today is the day of my baptism and I am definitely looking forward but the overall feelings are complex - so much of my past has deep religious trauma and never I repeat never in my life do I want to become one of those off-their-rocker-type people. I have seen the extent of rebranded hatred many Christians have and it’s just like, not giving God is Love. It’s giving I am up in my ego. I look so often and see so much bs or people truly twisting what it means to try and live through a godly lens and perspective and it’s just overall confusing.

I think there is also an element that through my own neurodivergence I recognize that there are a lot of people who make the mistake of being Christina-Extremists once they connect with the Word. Think about it, to be ND you struggle understanding the lens in which we live life, you struggle with relationships, and you struggle with a guiding light to help you make sense of the world. So here is this set community with set rules and set boundaries and it’s just like this thing makes sense, so let me attach my black and white thinking to it - not realizing it’s a hyper-fixation or special-interest. I have to look towards my adoptive mother and realize this might have been the case. She was deeply troubled and neurotic with a jumbling of personality disorders and neurodivergence all without the ability of recognizing her own nature and behavior (side note: it is so hard navigating forgiveness with her even when I have a understanding of how she became the nightmare she became. I wish to never connect with her or any of those people again. I need to protect myself).

What am I hoping to get out of my baptism?

Clarity and connection. I feel like there is this divide between me and the conviction of the Holy Spirit/divine connection with God. I find myself questioning the right thing to do or choices/changes to make and I want to work on my spiritual connectivity with the higher power. Like I don’t want to be left to my own limited human knowledge I want to know when to move and when to choose a different path. I want to know who is actually for me - who to keep around. I have this ability to see trends and signs of people’s behavior sometimes that they can’t even see themselves and sometimes I feel like whoa, is this person really my people?

I think that’s the hardest thing coming from such deep trauma. First being adopted laying in an orphanage with limited connection to then surviving such deep-seeded abuse in my childhood adoptive home. I just don’t trust people and I want to. I always prepare myself for detachment. I run from dysfunction while at the same time craving abuse. It’s a terrible experience to not yet be shown healthy love. Maybe I am being a little too black and white with it but tbh it’s just something that I do not feel safe with a lot of people.

I also wonder if I will ever find meaning and connection in the church. I believe in God yes, I believe in the power of a congregation and community however, even for my baptism, needing to sign a photo release for a spiritual practice is weird as hell to me. I want this to be between me and God, not me, God, and Instagram. I also don’t want to be in the “spirit of rebellion” about it but like don’t I have the ability to want this private? Plus this church specifically preaches the prosperity gospel and we know that when you’re putting so much weight on tax-free income for the church that something is a little off - but churches got their own bills too I guess. Idk it’s just hard to feel like there are good intentions without humans poisoning the intent.

May this be continued as I need to get ready for it. Ttyl

[madamemidnight]

This is a very allistic and ignorant attitude. People on the spectrum forget to eat and hydrate all the time as a result of hyperfixation and/or time blindness. Mix in the fact of not having a typical bodily response to "feeling needs" (usually we eat and drink because we know we need to, not out of a feeling of hunger, thirst, or any real desire), and it means you don't realize it's been an entire day and you've eaten nothing, or haven't had more than like a piece of toast for breakfast, 12 hours ago.

As for "needing assistance", what do you think that looks like as an adult? It's nearly always a romantic partner reminding us to eat or making us meals when we blank out. For people that have chronic illness, or mental illness, it is also usually a romantic partner that assists in providing sustenance. Though it can be friends and family, it's usually a lover or no one. To people in those situations, you bet your damn ass they can find a person literally taking care of them when they need it to be romantic, because it's not something that person would have to do in a relationship with someone that has no illnesses, or is neurotypical.

And before any comments about Hermione not being on the spectrum, I would like to add that 1: A lot of people don't know they are until their 30's or older, especially women because they're better at masking. It's called late-stage diagnosis, which means many authors might be, or know people who are, without actually knowing it, and therefore they think spectrum things are normal. 2: Media very rarely admits a character is on the spectrum and instead writes them neurospicy coded, often for highly intelligent or actual genius characters. That means they have many of the issues we do, such as hyperfixation on their work for 10+ hours a day straight, not eating as a result, or bathing (another problem we typically struggle with for numerous reasons), having "overreactions" to things they don't like or won't tolerate, having their own chair or spot the sit in in every room, lacking in social skills, having tics, talking to themselves, being singularly passionate about their special interests (usually this is their job or hobby), and being "quirky" and "eccentric". Therefore, a lot of people's perception of what an above average intelligent person or genius would behave like is based on an archetype that's designed off of neurodivergence.

If you've read the books, you'll know that Hermione doesn't always stop studying/researching for meals and the characters comment on not seeing her in the Great Hall. This gets worse as she gets older, not better. It's easy to understand how that would continue to get worse as an independent adult when meals aren't being provided for her on a schedule she doesn't have to create herself, with no external forces such as rules, or dorm mates and friends already going to those meal times and reminding her to join or demanding she take a break to. As an adult there is also far less sense of "I have to eat now because there won't be access to food until the next provided meal or tomorrow." The freedom of adulthood makes functioning harder, not easier, for many people because they need to be beholden to a schedule.

The asker's comment about people dying makes no sense. I assume they meant to say people that are starving, to which I shouldn't have to point out that occasionally missing meals is not starvation. Also, no one is "romanticizing" starvation. They're, rightfully, endeared by the concept of someone taking care of another and making sure they have what they need when their own mind/body gets in the way of their ability to provide for themselves. Something billions of people struggle with the world over. This attitude is like thinking people are romanticizing having cancer because they find the idea of a person who loves another taking care of them through it comforting and endearing.

• According to a 2021 study, close to 61.8 million people globally are on the autism spectrum (that includes those with ADHD), which is about 1 in every 127 people. This is based only on the people that get tested.

• 1 in every 3 adults have multiple chronic illnesses. As of February 2025, 65.2% of the world's population is between the ages of 15 and 64. This is based on a global population of 8.2 billion. That's 5,346,400,000 people. What that means is, approximately 1.8 billion adults are chronically ill (1,782,133,333.315512). In 2021, noncommunicable diseases (chronic illnesses) killed at least 43 million people, which is 75% of non-pandemic-related deaths globally.

• About 5% of the global population has depression, which is roughly 280 million people, and that number is only based on those who go to therapy and get a diagnosis.

Added altogether that number is 2,123,933,333.315512, or 2.1 billion people that can be struggling with issues like forgetting to eat due to issues like brain fog, dissociation, medication side effects, or the above spectrum reasons. The vast majority of mentally ill, chronically ill, and neurodivergent people are "functioning" adults based on society's standards, which is whether or not you're capable of working a job and providing for yourself (this only means the bare minimum to continue surviving, not the maximum and living in comfort). That's ¼ of the global population of adults.

So it is normal to have these afflictions based on averages. And none of that math accounts for people that are overachievers or workaholics who often don't get enough sleep which results in missing meals due to sleeping instead or not giving themselves enough time to eat breakfast, having that meeting during lunch so they skip the meal, or forgetting they didn't buy groceries and they don't have the money to get takeout, now that the stores are closed, so the go to bed without dinner. Nor does it include those with sleeping disorders, such as insomnia, or having a circadian rhythm that isn't congruent with the 9-5 work day. And there's no mention of the millions of people that use drugs illegally which impacts their appetite and memory of if they ate or not, which does fall into mental illness, but most don't think to consider addiction when hearing mental illness. Many people with addictions manage to go to work and pay their bills, which again is what a functioning adult is defined by. That's why they call them "functioning" alcoholics, for example.

All that to say, forgetting to eat here and there, it is in fact exceptionally common and in no way suggests an adult is less of an adult for it.

I can't stand fics where Hermione forgets to eat bc she is so oblivious and Draaaaco is the one who reminds her to eat 🙄🙄🙄 like ugh grow up! Functional adults EAT. And people in the comments are like ooh he is so romantic! And I'm thinking there are people that are dying and you find this romantic? 😩

Someone forgetting to eat is not normal and needs some kind of help, therapy or medical assistance or something.

Definitely not a situation you should romanticize.

- Lisa

[divagonzo]

The Incident - Romione +

Ao3

A/N: Thanks to @vivithefolle​ for getting through my enormous writer’s block to inspire me to write this story. It’s angst filled Hurt/Comfort/Family with many triggering aspects for those who are ND. I apologize for it but the story wouldn’t leave me alone.

Given the nature of the subject matter, I’m personally rating this M rated - and because of the troubling aspects of the story, especially for those who would be triggered by what the story entails.

CW: child bullying, child injury, being bullied for being neurodivergent

Give me my demarcation line, damn it!

The Incident

Once more, with Feeling

Hermione took her reading glasses off of her nose and rubbed her eyes. She was absolutely at her wit’s end with the bloody bureaucracy of the Wizengamot and why they refuse to do things her way when it’s the best for everyone involved. But No, that sod Purifoy has to put in his Galleon and derail everything and cause a ruckus in the chambers.

“Mrs. Granger?” Hermione’s executive assistant Miranda Blunt stuck her head in the office. “Mrs. Potter is calling, says it’s an emergency.”

“Put her through,” Hermione got up from her vast oaken desk and went to the fireplace. The flames in there turned green from the warming orange from the chilly August morning.

“Hermione,” Ginny’s voice came through crystal clear. “We need you at St. Mungo’s immediately.”

Her heart lurched to a sudden stop. “What’s happened? Ron?” Hermione rose from the fireplace and went to collect her purse from the secure drawer in her desk. “If it involves Harry he’s going to catch an earful.” She pulled the compact mirror from her pocket and opened it, waiting the seconds for her assistant to open hers. “I’m going to St. Mungo’s. I’ll check back in as soon as I can.”

“Understood.” Miranda broke the connection. 

“What’s happened?” Hermione reached for the urn on the mantle. 

“It’s Hugo,” Ginny didn’t elaborate. “We need you immediately.”

Hermione froze. Her baby. Well, not a real baby anymore, not after the growth spurt he had this summer and seemed to stretch out by inches, taking after Ron, but still such a sweet boy. She enjoyed snuggling him when he would allow it, but he couldn’t fall asleep unless Ron was holding him in his arms, holding onto him awkwardly until his soft snores told everyone that he could be gently placed in his own bed.

She shook herself from her stupor and reached into the urn for the Floo powder and threw it in, stepping through the few blocks to the Auror waiting area. She saw Ginny sitting there with Rose, James, Al, and Lily Luna. Harry was nowhere to be found. Rose had her hand wrapped up, like she’d broken it and James was sitting on the other side of the room, two black eyes and a blood crusted nose that looked like it hadn’t been treated yet. 

“Where – 

“The nurse will see you back,” Ginny said stoically.

Hermione ran from the room to the admission desk and saw the Nurse. Hermione knew her well enough by face and first name but wasn’t much beyond that. “I was told my son was admitted. Hugo Weasley-Granger.”

“Yes, you’re needed.” The nurse left the window and met Hermione at the doors, walking briskly into the various hallways that hadn’t changed much in the last 20 years. “Mrs. Potter brought your son in about twenty minutes ago and we said we needed you immediately. He’s been hurt but there’s something else going on, something we don’t quite understand, and you might be able to shed some light on the situation.”

Hermione went into the area and saw her son sitting in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped around his knees. There was some crusted blood on his neck, below his ear, and a huge bruise on the side of his face. 

“He won’t let us near him, Mrs. Weasley,” a medi-witch spoke up first. “Any time any of us even gets within a meter of him, he screams.”

“I am going to sit on the ground. Every time I finish a sentence, move me six inches closer. His therapist has things in place to help him when he gets like this.” Hermione dropped her purse and put her wand down. She knew about these behaviors and she’d read up on how to help him cope as well. 

“Hugo, Mummy is here.” Her voice was so flat to her own ears it frightened her – but she knew from Audrey that it would be soothing for her son. “You’re safe. No one else is going to hurt you,” She felt magic surround her, ever so slowly shifting her forward towards her son. “Aunt Ginny told me you needed me. I came straight away.”

She repeated the mantra until she was sitting right in front of her son. While he looked somewhat like Ron, being gangly and with auburn hair with ginger strands and streaks through it, it had her texture, along with freckles across his nose and on his neck. But he took after her in personality, temperament, and how he saw the world, but only more intensely. She understood him, when he would be quiet for hours at a time, or completely engrossed in something that interested him.

She suspected he was much like her by the time he was a year old, with some behaviors she had been watching to see if they manifested. As soon as they started, she took him to a Muggle doctor who recommended her to a specialist who made a tentative diagnosis. He had a cadre of therapists to help him with his speech and role playing so he wouldn’t have a meltdown for any change in his daily schedule.

She knew. She didn’t need it to be tentative, from how much he’d get overwhelmed at Sunday lunches at the Burrow to not liking being hugged or easily frustrated to even the texture of his clothing, which she understood far too well.  Yes, he was much like her so seeing him like this was painful. But while her parents struggled for so long, she fought like hell so he wouldn’t struggle as much as she did growing up.

“Hugo, I am right here. I’m not going anywhere. No one is going to hurt you.  When you are ready, you can crawl into my lap. Take the time you need.”

Ever so slowly, in what felt like hours was probably seconds, Hugo slowly ceased rocking before crawling into her lap, right before he started rocking hard yet again.

He settled in and she took a deep breath, knowing that the first giant hurdle had been passed. 

“Love, the medi-witch is going to use magic to put us up on the bed. Close your eyes and bury your face in my chest. They won’t be using magic on you, only me.” He did as instructed, burying his head into the flannel of her jumper. She looked at the Medi-witch.  She watched the non-verbal incantation wand movement and braced slightly. Magic enveloped her again, levitating her from the very cold tile floor up onto the gurney. 

“Sweetie, will you hold my hand? I don’t want you to talk but I do need you to communicate with me and I know this way is much easier for you right now.” She opened her hand and waited for him to put his in hers, squeezing it hard. 

“That’s terrific, love. Now you don’t have to talk at all the rest of the time we’re here, only answer my questions by squeezing my hand.” Hermione stared over his head at the Medi-witch and watched her procure parchment and self-dictating quill. She nodded once for Hermione to start.

“Did Rosie hurt you?” One squeeze. “Rosie didn’t hurt you. That’s good. I’m happy to hear that.”

“Did Lils hurt you?” One squeeze. “Al?” One squeeze. “So Jamie hurt you?” Two squeezes.

“Could you tell Aunt Ginny what happened?” One squeeze. “You hurt too much, doesn’t it?” Two squeezes. “I thought so. Are you still hurting?” Two squeezes. “And you don’t want to tattle on Jamie?” One squeeze.

“Was Jamie playing Quidditch?” Two squeezes. “Was he chasing a snitch?” One squeeze. “Throwing a Quaffle?” Two squeezes. “The bludger?” two squeezes.

“Were you on your toy broom outside, playing?” Two squeezes. “Was Aunt Ginny watching you?” One squeeze. “Jamie convinced you to go play outside with him and Rose?” Two squeezes. “And then you got hurt and saw Aunt Ginny?” Two squeezes.

“Jamie convinced you to come outside and ride your broom without an adult.” She sighed. “Jamie means well sometimes but he doesn’t quite fathom why the rules are in place for Hugo.” She turned back to her son. “I’m not mad at you, sweetie. You love your older cousin and want to be able to play with him and Rosie and you hate being left out.” Two squeezes. “Yes, I figured as such.”

Hermione looked at the other medi-witch. “Have you asked Mrs. Potter what happened?”

“She said that she found two bludgers flying around their pitch and Hugo on the ground crying.”

“Did Jamie hit the bludgers at you?” Hugo started rocking. “More than once?” The rocking grew frantic and she felt her shirt getting damp.

The door crashed open, and Ron stood in the doorway, seeing his wife and child on the gurney. Hermione slightly shook her head before seeing his ears turning red. Right now she couldn’t cope with Ron and Hugo so Ron would have to deal with it, for now at least. 

He closed the door softly while Hermione rocked Hugo in her lap, letting her son have his silent meltdown without him noticing everyone in the room watching him. People watching him meltdown always made it worse. 

The Healer pulled his wand and handed it to the medi-witch, showing Hermione without his wand that he wanted to charm Hugo to sleep so they could tend him. She nodded and watched the healer gently apply the charm to her son and felt him drift off to sleep, like he’d fallen asleep in her arms which he hadn’t done since he was a toddler. He always preferred his Daddy once he could make his wishes known. She wouldn’t complain, even if her heart had been beating out of her chest entirely too hard for her continued good health.

She stood and gently placed her son on the gurney, feeling a sob try to erupt. She stifled it, knowing she’d pay for it later on but Hugo came first.

“Now that he’s asleep, we can check him. We did not want to do that without a parent’s presence and their permission. But his behavior was so queer that – “

Hermione turned and if she’d had her wand in her hand, she couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t have hexed the healer tending her son. “His behaviour is not queer,” Hermione growled. “My son is Autistic. He’s been diagnosed by Muggle doctors and has Healer Reeves as his Magical counselor. He takes after me that way and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to my son that way.”

“Yes, Mrs. Weasley,” he retorted instantly. “He got upset and we didn’t know how to help him once Mrs. Potter had left the room.”

“Now you know,” she snorted, “and now you can tell me what happened.”

Hermione stepped back to the side of the room and watched the Healers and multiple medi-witches work on her son, using magical diagnostic charms and spells to work. They worked efficiently, silently, with a medi-witch dictating the medical records.

Seconds passed that felt like days, with the Healers finally turning back to Hermione, seeing her. “He will be OK. From what Mrs. Potter told us, along with our tests, he has a concussion from getting hit with a bludger. There is also a huge bruise on his back from what looks like another bludger impact. I’d almost say that someone was hitting them at your son, but I don’t like to make assumptions. Bruise paste will fix the back but for the head, he will need time at home, with little in the way of lights and noise. It’s not severe, not like Quidditch players get from time to time, but he will require some time to rest and recover.”

“There’s nothing you can do for him?”

“These things are tricky when it comes to the brain. Even Muggle Medicine has limitations when it comes to this kind of brain injury. But at his age, he needs rest and quiet and darkness to remove stimulation for him. It would probably benefit him in the long run, too, given what you’ve said.”

She sighed, trying to take a deep breath that just wouldn’t happen. Her precious son, her sensitive child, was bullied by an older cousin. That was bad enough. That would be dealt with as soon as Hugo was home and asleep in his bed.  But to add a possible traumatic brain injury to it, at his age, was a bit too far. Fortunately, she had ample time accrued to take off and spend it with him, or work from home given everything going on. However, seeing to what happened took priority after tending Hugo.

“When can we take him home, since my husband is probably out in the waiting room?”

“We shall be finished shortly, maybe a few more minutes, and then take him home straightaway. No Floo travel for at least a month. No Portkeys either since it might aggravate any sort of injury. Apparition or Muggle transport only, and then keep it as minimal as possible, for his benefit.”

Hermione understood that all too well. She tended Harry and Ron occasionally after mishaps with the Aurors.  “Please keep him asleep until I return. I need to go speak with my husband.” She collected her purse from near the door and slipped out, knowing that Ron would be mad with grief. Instead, she found him pacing the hallway around the first corner.

“How is he?” He raced up to her when he saw her, embracing her like she desperately needed. She didn’t realize how much tension let go with his hug. “I didn’t want to come back in and upset Hugh. I knew you’d have it under control.”

Hermione explained what happened as well as what caused it. Ron’s face grew even more pale than normal but his ears and neck grew intensely red. 

“I’m upset too but we will handle it later, once we get Hugo home and in bed resting. And it’s not like Ginny probably hasn’t tended to things by now.” She slumped back into her husband’s arms. Who knew that her heart would have two distinct beats from her own, and stress hers when anything happened to either of her kids. She hadn’t realized until now how much her children’s welfare meant to her, especially when it came to the treatment by the family. “We need the healers to check on Rosie. She had a wrap around her wrist when I rushed through the waiting room.”

“You go get Hugo and take him home. I’ll tend to Rosie and we’ll be home straightaway. I also will need to speak with her and find out what happened.”

Hermione took a deep breath, relaxing her back and shoulders. “I’ll see you when you get home, Love.” She stood on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss across his lips. The privacy of the hallway would suffice, given the overwhelming adoration she had for her husband. He was her rock, her foundation, rarely getting inside his head too much now, but also giving her subtle direction and taking the mental load on what needed to be done without being boorish like she could be. He never demanded, and never expressed disappointment when she made a different decision but, most of the time, his wisdom was exactly what she needed when she felt lost and drowning in indecision.

She turned and went back to the room to collect her son and take him home.

*****************

“Hermione, we’re home,” Ron bellowed into their residence outside of Cardiff. “And Ginny will be over as soon as the Healers tend Jamie.”

Hermione came out of Hugo’s room, closing the door without shutting it completely. “I have it dark and quiet in his room, and the potion the healers gave him should let him sleep for hours. They said he needed to sleep and rest as much as possible for the next two weeks, minimum. I’ve already spoken to Miranda and set the owls to come here and she will pop over after work to bring today’s docket and tomorrow’s as well.”

“Mum, I’m sorry,” Rosie chimed in. “I saw what happened and instead of running to get Aunt Ginny I got upset and hit Jamie. I know it was wrong but – “

“What happened?” Hermione tried to keep her voice neutral for her older child, who was just like her Dad with her underlying temper. She wasn’t mad at Rosie and she needed to keep her temper in check with her child, who might mistake that Mum was mad at her, and not frustrated with the situation.

Rose looked at her Dad and he nodded before she turned back to her Mum. 

“Everyone went outside to play, with Aunt Ginny watching us. Al and Lils were inside coloring and Hugo came out to fly around. Lils yelled and Aunt Ginny went back inside.” Rose looked at Ron and he nodded, prodding her gently to continue.

“Jamie and I kept playing Quidditch out back, throwing the quaffle while dodging the bludgers flying around while Aunt Ginny was inside making Lunch. It was so much fun, and we were laughing when either of us missed the Quaffle or got bumped by the bludger. I thought Hugo had gone inside with Aunt Ginny since I didn’t see him. Jamie flew down and plucked up a beater’s bat out of the box and said he’d take a swipe at them while flying and I said OK since it’s good practice for me, too.”

“You know how I feel about that,” Hermione said, “especially with Aunt Ginny not keeping a close watch on you while you’re doing it.”

“I know,” Rose replied. “I thought she’d be inside only for a few moments.”

“Ok, go ahead.”

“So the bludgers were flying around and Jamie had his beater’s bat out while also throwing the Quaffle at me from time to time. Anyway, I told Jamie to wait a moment because I wanted something to drink. I heard him laughing and then I heard a thump and saw Hugo on the ground and his broom broken. I didn’t know Hugo had come back outside to fly some more. I looked up and saw one racing for Hugo. I ran towards him but couldn’t stop it from hitting him in the head before bouncing off. I ran back for my broom and raced up to where Jamie was. He looked boggled that another bludger had hit Hugo. I… I flew into him while on my broom before taking his beater’s bat and hitting him with it. 

“Aunt Ginny came outside and saw Hugo on the ground. She dropped the tray of sandwiches and pumpkin juice and ran to him, yelling at us to get down on the ground, that we needed to go to St. Mungo’s.” Rose held her head down. “I know I should have gotten her first, but I was so upset that Jamie did that, and laughing about it.”

“I don’t fault you for being upset but you know better. No quidditch this weekend for you. A small consequence for how you acted instead of going to get Aunt Ginny should be sufficient punishment. Besides, your wrist will be sore for a day or two anyway, I reckon, hitting Jamie with the beater’s bat.”

“Yes, Mum.”

Hermione looked up at her quiet husband. “What are we going to do about Jamie? This isn’t the first time he’s been a toerag towards Hugo.”

The fireplace roared to life and Ginny was inside the flames. “The Healers are finished with Jamie. Can we come through? He needs to know what his punishment is for what he did today.”

Ron and Hermione shared a look, not bothering to look at Rosie. “Come on through,” they said in unison. 

The fireplace roared high inside the hearth and Albus stepped through first, followed by a tidier Jamie, followed by Ginny holding Lily Luna to her chest. His face was still bruised but his nose was fixed and the blood removed from his shirt. Within moments they were all free of dust and so was the den.  “We won’t be staying long. Jamie has a very long list of things he has to do as punishment for what happened today.”

“It wasn’t intentional. I was aiming for Rose. I -“

“Enough, James!,” Ginny’s voice was quiet, dangerous, and one that no one wanted to cross. 

“Did you tell Hugo he could come outside with you?” Ron asked first. 

“Well, yeah, at first. Mum had been outside and it was nice and then mum went inside for a minute and Hugo was having fun on his toy broom while Rosie and I were playing Quidditch.”

“He’s six years old, James.” Hermione’s voice brooked no insolence. “He isn’t to ride his broom without supervision, ever. Did you not understand that?”

“No,” his voice grew quiet. “Mum said it was OK. I didn’t think – “

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t see Al or Lils on their brooms, did you?”

“No,” he said again. “But he had been riding earlier so I thought it was ok.”

Ron stood before James, towering over the lad. He was in his Auror stance, looking like he was ready to fight with his bare hands. “Why did you hit the bludgers at Rosie? I gave your parents that set, as a gift when you turned two.” Ron huffed. “I know that set. Grandpa, Uncle George, and I charmed it so the bludgers wouldn’t be brutal unless you hit the bludger with a bat. The first time you hit that bludger with a bat, it disabled the charm.”

“We’ve done it before. No one got hurt - “

“It’s no excuse, James,” Ginny said. “You know the rules - no beater bats unless an adult is outside with you. It’s one reason why you’re being punished - for being reckless while playing.”

“Didn’t you bother to see that Hugo was in the way?” Ron’s Auror voice had come out. “Do you think it’s funny picking on him? We know this isn’t the first time he’s not tattled on you. He’s six years old. He’s a child compared to you.”

“I wasn’t aiming at him. It was an accident - “

Ron took a step forward. James backed up into his Mum, standing almost as tall as her at 11. “An accident is you falling off your broom. An accident is dropping a glass of pumpkin juice because you weren’t paying attention. No, you chose to swing the beater’s bat and hit it at Rosie, even if you didn’t intend it to hit Hugo, it did, and it hurt him terribly.”

“I didn’t mean to! He was having fun with us, playing Quidditch.”

“Bollocks, James.” Ron’s temper seemed to be erupting. “He’s never expressed a moment’s interest in Quidditch, unlike Rosie. Didn’t you realize that?”

“No,” his voice was whiney. “We thought he - ”

“There’s no we to it, James,” Hermione cut in. “She says she told you she was landing to get a drink of juice and heard you laughing and saw the bludger hit Hugo in the head.”

“Bullying kids is never funny, James. Ever. It’s unacceptable behavior from anyone, much less you. I’d have thought better of you when it came to being kind to your cousins.”

“He doesn’t know,” Ginny said under her breath. “We’ve not told them.”

Ron crossed his arms but stood there looking ferocious. He spied Rose at the edge of the hallway, listening intently. Al and Lils were there with her. 

“I’m sorry,” a small tear leaked out.  He refused to look at any of the adults but stared at their shoes. 

“I don’t think so, James,” Ron interrupted. “I don’t think you’re sorry for hurting Hugo. I know you’ve done it before and you were let off with a warning. But not this time. No, this behavior is unacceptable in this family, but especially from you. You’re eleven and starting Hogwarts in a month. You’ve gotten your letter and are expected to have some level of maturity, even for your age. Mistreating small kids is behavior that other toerags do,” Ron snorted before hearing Malfoy under Hermione’s breath. 

“He’s already grounded for the next month, Ron,” Ginny added. “But beyond that is up to you and Hermione.

“What do you think, Hermione?”

She turned back to her Godson. “James, look at me.” He looked up but refused to make eye contact. “I said look at me, James Sirius Potter.” He finally did and Hermione saw the fear on his face. “You hurt Hugo. He’s in his bed asleep and can’t come to play at all for the next two weeks because of your mindless behavior. He might need longer to recover from your thoughtless actions. You picked on him for whatever reason, after we as a family have told everyone that he’s to be treated a certain way. And yet you, for some reason that isn’t important now, decided to be careless  around him. We already know he’s not told on you for previous things because he adores you, or did, and didn’t want you to get into trouble.

“But you are in deep trouble now.” 

He shuddered slightly. 

“But I also think that you aren’t sorry for what you did, only that it was worse than you expected and got in trouble for it. No, you chose to hit those bludgers in his direction intentionally. Whether you were aiming for Rosie or Hugo doesn’t matter. Your impulsiveness hurt someone. I’d be furious if you had hurt Rosie, too.”

‘I’m – “

“Don’t say you’re sorry until you actually mean it,” Ginny spat. “You’re only sorry for the consequences impacting you.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Go home and get me your broom. Now.”

“Mum?” James looked at her.  “My broom? What are you going to do?”

“You’re already in trouble. Questioning my judgment will make it ten times worse. Go get your broom, now, James.”

He ran for the fireplace and tossed floo powder into it, disappearing in the green flames.

“What do you have in mind?” Ron asked. 

Ginny stood there pondering a moment. “Until he shows some real maturity, I think losing any and all flying privileges on his broom will suffice. He will hand over his broom to you and so he can’t nick it like I used to do when no one was looking.  I also think that it might be smart that he is not able to try out for the house team for a couple of years.:

Ron took a deep breath, like he’d been holding it in. “If he thinks he can get away with tosser behaviour this should break it for good. Merlin knows how relentless Fred and George were to me.”

Ginny’s eyes narrowed. “Let’s make it two years.” She turned to look at the window next to the fireplace. A small sigh escaped. “I’ll owl Minerva this weekend and let her know. Not being allowed to try out until he’s a little older would be a benefit. First years aren’t allowed to try out anyway so two years will make him the start of his third year so he should be mature enough. If not we can have it extended.”

“Ok.” Ron slumped slightly. “Hermione can decide on when he’s allowed to use his broom again. I won’t interfere.”

“Neither will I,” Ginny added.

James ran back through the fire to where he handed it to his Mum. Ginny turned and handed it to Hermione.

“James, for hurting Hugo – “

“I didn’t – “

“Yes, you did. I’ve seen it before. I watched you with Fred laughing when Hugo was being picked on.”

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

“No, if you were you’d have not done it.” Hermione’s fierce stare made him bow his head. “We’ve discussed what is acceptable and what isn’t.”

“You don’t pick kids younger than you. I know we’ve taught you better.” Ron’s disappointment was evident. 

Ginny stood there, resolute. “You’re grounded from flying for the rest of the summer. You’re also losing your broom until Aunt Hermione says you can have it back.”

He spun, facing his Mum. “No! That’s not fair!” He turned back around and saw his Uncle staring him down. 

“Fair is following the rules set down – and that was that Hugo is to be protected, not picked on.” Ron gave a piercing look, freezing James’ protests. “Aunt Hermione and I will keep your broom, until you prove to us that you can follow the simplest of rules, of which is You don’t pick on Hugo – ever. You hurt him, James, and that’s not something that a mere I’m sorry will fix. So, until you prove it to us, you’re grounded from your boom. I know Rosie won’t share hers, not with what she’s heard.”

“No! Not my broom. It’s mine!”

“No, now it’s ours, until we decide to return it to you.”

“I am writing to Headmistress McGonagall, to tell her you will not be allowed to try out for the house teams for an additional year, since first years aren’t allowed to try out.”

“Two years!”

“You hit him twice, this time. The consequences for hurting Hugo and laughing about it should be severe.”

“We think that you need time to learn empathy, to treat those who you don’t respect with kindness, and respect, by not bullying them, ever.”

James let a sob out before covering his face and running for the fireplace. It flared for a moment before settling down.

The adults stood quietly for a moment with the rest of the kids present. “Rosie, go back to your room. We’ll be in shortly.” Rosie nodded before doing as asked.

“She was punished too, right?”

“We have. She’s grounded from her broom and quidditch, too. Just not as long, but for hitting Jamie afterward and not running to get you first.”

“Sounds fair,” Ginny looked at her other two kids. “How about we head home and the two of you can play more. Jamie will be grounded for quite some time.  But you two know better than to pick on Hugo, right?” Two very enthusiastic nods were her answer.

“We’ll see you Sunday, even if you don’t come for Sunday lunch. Harry and I will pop over to have a few with you and bring leftovers if you don’t show.”

Ginny gave Hermione a hug and received a light pat on the shoulder from Ron before stepping to the fireplace hearth. “I am sorry for James’ behavior. He knows better and I know when Harry finds out, he’s going to blow his stack over it.” She looked at her two younger children. “It might also be time to sit this bunch down and explain a few things.” The adults shared a look.

“I’m sure once he knows everything about the consequences of the incident, he’ll calm down. We don’t want James turning into a toerag like Dudley was growing up.”

Ginny shook her head. “No, we don’t. Love to both of you and my nephew, too.” Al went first through the fireplace before Ginny pulled Lily Luna close to her and spun away in the flames. 

After they left, Ron went to the cooling cabinet for a cold pumpkin juice and brought Hermione some water. “You think we were too hard on him? Two years is a very long time when you’re that young.”

“No, I think it’s just right. Ginny only banned him from Quidditch for the Summer and she only banned him from trying out for the house team until the start of his third year.  She didn’t say he couldn’t fly on a family broom, only that we would hold his broom until he proved he’s mature enough to get it back. He’s free to fly but not on his prized possession or playing the sport he loves.”

Ron necked the bottle of his juice. “You think it will work?”

“I think it’s a fair and just punishment for hurting Hugo, even accidentally. We don’t want a repeat of the incident ever again.” Ron opened his arms and Hermione melted into the embrace, finally feeling the tension from everything that happened today melt. She stifled a sob but felt Ron’s arms tighten around her. 

 “Everything will sort itself out, Hermione. You’ll see.”

“I know.” They stayed hugging for a long while, both lost in their thoughts on their precious son.

[wolfstar-in-color]

June Creator Spotlight: BigBlackDog

Hello, colorful cuties, and welcome to our first creator spotlight!!

Each month, we will highlight a different creator in our lovely fandom who features diverse characterizations. We will invite you to get to know them better through questions and answers, Fandom Discourse(tm), and a featured prompt created by our guest!!!

For our first spotlight, we are more than pleased to highlight the incredible work of bigblackdog!!! See a little snippet of this wonderful interview below, along with bigblackdog’s prompt! Look below the cut for our complete interview. Don’t forget to share and interact with this post, and if you have anyone you’d like to recommend for a spotlight, shoot us an ask! You can find our first guest’s Tumblr here.

“I've experienced ups and downs in the wolfstar fandom. It often feels like the wolfstar fandom is willing to engage in discussion about every political issue but race. And the few people who are trying to talk about race consistently encounter this silence.”

bigblackdog’s prompt: I want to see more latino characters who are not impoverished or criminalized. Give me a joyful latino/e remus!

Hello, I'm bigblackdog! I'm almost 30, and I've been active in fandom on various platforms for about seven years now. I'm latina/e and live in the u.s. with a small white dog.

Q: How did you start creating in the fandom? What did you wish to bring into the fandom? 

A: Like a lot of fans I started with self insert fic as a middle schooler. Sometimes the practice of self-insert gets ragged on in fandom, as if you're not doing real character work, but I think it's really cool. And if you're an under represented identity in the traditional western canon of literature, self insert is a radical practice. Making space for yourself in a story that refuses or ignores your identities is a radical act. And that's what i want to bring to fandom-- disruption and self care.

Q: What things about s/r as characters or in their relationship inspire you to create around them? 

A: Wolfstar was the first queer ship I was introduced to. I wasn't someone who arrived in fandom with my own robust queer reading skills, I needed other queers to hold my hand and introduce me to queer ships and how to find them and build them. My interest in r/s was simply a clinging to queerness I wasn't finding in other places. I really think it could have been any characters, as long as they were queer.

Q: What things would you like to highlight about the Wolfstar fandom and your experience in it? 

A: I've experienced ups and downs in the wolfstar fandom. It often feels like the wolfstar fandom is willing to engage in discussion about every political issue but race. And the few people who are trying to talk about race consistently encounter this silence. It's hard not to feel bitter. But i've also met some amazing people and overall feel that fans really are trying their best to be welcoming and inclusive.

Q: What type of content do you wish you saw more in the fandom? 

A: I want to see more discourse that aims at amplifying underrepresented voices like wolfstar-in-color. I want to see more fans of color joyfully and irreverently writing themselves into the magical world!

Q: What is your favourite wolfstar fancontent (fic/fanart/gifset/etc) and how does it inspire you? 

A: I love dontthinkonithermione's rp. Not only does she do an amazing nerdy know it all Hermione, she envisions Black characters in every corner of the hp world. Have you seen her Hogwarts p.e. professor rps? i love the space she creates for herself, and the joy she does it with.

Q: Which of your own identities inform your creative processes? How has that process been for you? 

A: I started out in fandom really trying to feel out the nooks and crannies of being queer. As i've spent more time in fandom and become more confident in my queerness I've started looking closer at some of my other identities-- Latina, mixed, adhd-- and how i can squeeze them into the hp world. For a long time it was hard, especially with being Latine and mixed, to envision how that identity could belong in a 90s British boarding school in the Scottish wilderness. I also really struggled with the feeling that i would get "diversity" wrong. I’ve also struggled with feeling like I have to write diversity because i'm an underrepresented voice. Brown people are often pressured to do the work of educating white people about racism and in fandom spaces that often means pressure to write the reality of racism instead of the fantasy that white writers get to play with. And sometimes i just want to write a pwp without worrying about the revolution, you know? But i really love fandom for its refusal to play by the rules of capitalism and canon, eventually i started to feel like putting more of myself into my writing was another rule i could break.

Q: What advice do you have for other content creators with diverse backgrounds in the fandom? What would you say to people that might feel they don’t have the “right” history/experience/characteristics to participate in the creation of content related to Wolfstar? 

First, there's a lot of content on tumblr that aims to silence your voice, learn how to recognize the difference between cancel culture and encouragement. Sometimes content that seems well meaning still presents writing diversity as a list of black and white rules (and virtue signaling) instead of encouragement for underrepresented voices to share their own messy experience. Set those rules gently aside. Second, fandom is built on the idea that the author isn't the only person who gets to play. we all get to play. It doesn't always feel like we were invited, but the great thing about fandom is there is no barrier to entry, no prior experience or publishing hoops to jump through. This is our playground too. If canon is dead then why can't our stories be brown and queer and neurodivergent? Third, find your people. i've found that having just one other person to talk about race with has made the whole space feel more welcoming.

Q: How could we build a more diverse fandom? 

A: We have to stop prioritizing white and cis male voices. We recognize that policing irl is a problem inextricable from whiteness and maleness, but we don't see that fandom policing online is also a problem deeply embedded in whiteness and maleness. White and cis male people frequently use their discomfort with difficult topics to change the subject from a critical discussion to one that prioritizes their white and/or male feelings. The same thing happens online when personal discomfort is used to cancel or undermine content that's challenging to a white or male voice. White and cis male voices are used to having their needs met above others. And we still cater to that in fandom spaces when we privilege 'fetishization' discourse over racial discourse. When we lift up bipoc and women/trans/nb voices and the issues they're concerned with we'll make fandom a more welcoming place for underrepresented voices.

Q: What’s your favourite thing to modify in Sirius’s or Remus’s characterizations to bring new perspectives to them? 

A: It really depends on the story i'm writing and what issue i'm trying to figure out. Sometimes i need Sirius to be Adhd to come to terms with my brain, sometimes i need two brown boys to fall in love and be happy against all odds.

Q: What does diversity mean to you? What does that encompass in fannish spaces? 

A: This is a hard question! I tend to think of diversity as those voices that are disenfranchised or pushed to the margins. And fannish spaces have all the same hierarchies and blind spots as other spaces. In fannish spaces there's the idea that you can curate your experience to some extent, but for marginalized voices, at least in my experience, no matter how much you curate the marginalization is still there.

Q: What are your ideas about the notions of culture and ethnicity? How do you relate to those notions? 

A: There was a time in my life where relating to my ethnicity was largely a process of recognizing larger systems of oppression and how they worked against my various identities. And for a while it was a really helpful way to frame my experiences. Now I feel a little less attached to ethnicity as like, a monolithic concept threaded through my whole life and more attached to the small things that I enjoy about my ethnicity and culture-- making a really good pot of beans, for example.

Q: Leave us with a quote or work of art that always inspires you. 

A: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Audre Lorde

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Trickster: an Ethari theory

I've had yea many Ethari headcanons, and I hope I live to have yea many more. Most of them are probably wrong, or incomplete at best. But boy are they fun.

I love to wonder what Ethari will really be like in canon when we get to know him for more than 3 minutes, but whoever he really is on his own, he will have an effect on Runaan , Rayla, and everyone who loves him, because they love him.

The first headcanon I can remember having for "Tinker" was that he could be like Leonardo da Vinci: a genius, creative, surrounded by beautiful ideas given shape by his hands, but also capable of creating deadly weapons, enchantments, and devices with equal beauty, and perhaps not really seeing where the line between them was. It was fun, but Ethari has ended up far softer than my headcanon, and I love and support him in his softness!

After a nice string of Ethari headcanons, this year I've started poking at the Trickster archetype and seeing if it applies to him. And I think it absolutely does!

Tricksters often seem like Chaos. But they're not. They're just Difference. "Chaos" is subjective. Like the "divergent" in "neurodivergent." Who says? Divergent from what, exactly? Perspective matters, and Tricksters have a very broad take on things which allows them to think outside any box people might try to invite them into.

My enjoyment of Loki has brought all kinds of ideas to my dash with the arrival of the Loki show. I've got a copy of the Edda, and I highlighted the hell out of it a couple of years ago as I searched for the roots of Loki's origin story. (It's truly fascinating reading and the symbolic language hidden inside their poetry is dazzlingly amazing and I'm super using it sometime just so you know)

Loki is a Trickster, and he's far from alone in myth and legend. Anansi, Coyote, and Sun Wukong are some you may have heard of. Aaravos is another, of course. Tricksters can be called upon to lend aid and wisdom when the rules don't have an answer for some extraordinary circumstance which the Trickster's people find themselves in. But that's not because they are truly outside the rule of order. They are actually a part of it. They are the catch-all for when the everyday ordinary rules fail people, and something "unthinkable"--in the literal sense--might just hold the answer.

This post crossed my dash today, and something finally clicked in my head, and all of this coalesced from what felt like separate places. But they're not separate, not anymore! Serotonin, baby. It's basically upped my headcanon to a full-blown theory.

What caught my eye was an answer to why Ethari's clothing is so determinedly asymmetrical, compared to Runaan's specifically, but Moonshadows in general. It's because of this:

Long protective sleeves below patterns on shoulders. A high collar paired with a bright and noticeable swoop around the neck. Fine detailing and graceful taste. Asymmetrical tunic point on the left, below broad strappy leather. Knee high boots with stylish protective gaiters.

And let's not forget the curling horns! In some comics, Loki has a broken horn. So does Ethari.

Yes, there is a lot of similarity here, but I'm not focused so much on the visuals as the reason they were chosen. Feel free to consider other aspects of Ethari's personality and how they might be similar to certain parts of Loki's. I did! But I wouldn't be me if I didn't go deeper than that.

My favorite book in the universe (so far) is Lois McMaster Bujold's The Curse of Chalion, and one of the many reasons why is because of her pantheon. It holds five gods, represented by a hand: Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, and Bastard. The first four all have their roles and places. The Bastard--the thumb--inherits everything else. He is the god of all things that do not belong to any other gods, and that includes self-sacrificing vengeance and queerness. He is a Trickster, and his influence on Cazaril's life is far deeper than at first glance. Chaos has its place. It belongs, and so do the Tricksters who engender it. God, I love this book. Please read it if you haven't. Bujold's work is amazing.

If you've seen or read any version of MDZS/Untamed, you know that Wei WuXian is a trickster. Competent and badass in battle, but playful and teasing to the point where sometimes even he isn't sure what he truly wants, he can bring a massive amount of power and focus when he wants to. It's always a matter of "but is it important to me?"

I love WWX so much. The Trickster vibe is very apparent in his character, and in a way you just don't get in Western media. We see him on his own, and we see him with family and loved ones. And he's always feeling something so intensely! He's driven by his emotions, for good or ill. He vibes with chaos, and he will create it if it doesn't exist yet. But he will also create family from nothing, and that's something you don't see enough of! WWX is a Trickster with an emotional preference for joy.

In TDP, Ethari doesn't have a lot of lore yet. It's being Moonshadowed because spoilers for future seasons, and I respect that. The longer the wait for S4, the more ideas I will just amuse myself with in the meantime--and yeah, this is one of them, so what? :))) But we do know a little about him.

He loves music. He loves to read. He leaves his mark on things in swirly form. He works very hard, even through headaches, because what he's doing is that important to him, even though he would much rather be making jewelry. He loves taking the time to polish rough stones into brilliant jewels, and he adores big pretty flowers and had them at his wedding.

Ethari has a temper, but he also loves puns. The weapons he crafts are exquisite: "light, elegant, strong, and clever." And he knew darn well that Runaan was trying to flirt with him, but why return a sentiment he may or may not feel yet when he can play with the overly earnest assassin just a little bit first?

Okay, just... A "simple craftsman" deciding that it's going to be fun to toy for a bit with a broody assassin's feelings? Would you risk that? Ethari got balls the size of the moon, and a brain to match. When he has to make weaponry, he does not half-ass it. Ethari's stabby creations nearly have a life of their own. His creations are literally called "trick weapons." This elf is a lot, okay. And it's possible that he doesn't even know how "a lot" he is. Yet.

We're meeting Ethari after he's found something that is, in fact, genuinely important to him: Runaan, and Rayla, and Laindrin too. Ethari has found a relatively stable place to settle and find a role to adopt. I say adopt, though, because making weaponry for his loved ones is not what he grew up wanting to do. It's what he had to do to keep them safe, once he found a place to bestow his heart.

But in the show, Ethari has lost his family, one by one. First Lain and Tiadrin, ghosted. Then Runaan, supposedly fallen on his mission. Then Rayla, ghosted for abandoning Runaan. He and Rayla have reconnected now, but the rest of his family is still out of his reach. If Rayla has indeed told him, by S4, what she learned at the Moonhenge in TTM, then Ethari may parallel Rayla's journey to seek answers. But even if he doesn't know yet, and gets pulled into some other story arc first, we will be seeing Ethari without his family.

Remember the ATLA episode "Zuko Alone"? Consider: "Ethari Alone."

Ethari has chosen, for love, to fit himself into a box that wasn't of his own making. And now that box has broken. His family doesn't need him to be their craftsman anymore. Perhaps others will need him to be other things to them. Or perhaps he will know that his family does need him, but to be far more than just a maker of pretty swords. A rescuer, perhaps. A healer, a guide? An avenger?

A trickster. Capable of taking many shapes, because he understands them all. Ethari works with form and function. If he needs to transform himself, he will.

That's what Tricksters do. It's delightfully queer and delightfully neurodivergent. Ancient peoples accepted and revered the different among them and actively sought their help with things they themselves struggled with.

Tricksters are Difference. Sometimes that manifests as chaos, sometimes as genius. But if you do not love and appreciate your chaos, it will absolutely turn on you. Wei Wuxian did. Loki certainly has, many times. Perhaps Aaravos is doing so as well.

I cannot wait to see what Ethari does with his difference. I have something very specific that I hope he goes and breaks.

All this from a picture of Tom Hiddleston in his Avengers 1 Loki costume? Yeah. Because Ethari was designed to wear asymmetrical clothing, in a Moonshadow culture that prides itself on balance. Sure, there are some other Moonshadows who wear this or that asymmetrical item, and I do love to see it. But Ethari has the most asymmetrical lines of them all. The meta glee I feel knowing that Moonshadow elves are designed to hold many layers of meaning in their appearances--that the writers, creators, and character designers just flexed with them--is truly a delight.

Ethari is asymmetrical. The full and practical application of that is a glass casket, and I hope it becomes a gift that keeps on giving, because boy do I want to keep receiving it. But right now, I'm genuinely seeing evidence of the Trickster archetype in him. And I really hope it gets to come out and play.

[hapigairu]

And it makes his efforts all the more genuine (not that there was any doubt, but still). It's wild to me that some people try to spin this as Dimitri as doing something bad or utterly insincere...

Exactly! That's precisely why Ingrid is in such a quandary. Her dream is to become a knight, but she also knows she has a duty to her people and that her house needs a way to keep their territories afloat financially. Which... yes, it's unfortunate that Ingrid, as the only Crest-bearer of the family, is expected to marry someone wealthy (especially since Glenn's death is still extremely painful to her). But she's not being forced to do this either by her family. It's not like Bernadetta "My father sees me as a mere asset to marry off so he can get richer" von Varley or Mercedes "My half-brother's father wants me to have his Crest babies without my consent and my adoptive father in the Kingdom basically bought me so he can marry me off and enter noble society" von Martritz. Ingrid is lost between her lifelong dream and her responsibilities, and, admittedly, she feels a bit of pressure, but ultimately, her father will always respect her choice. But, yeah... communicating... It can be complicated.

Yes, we hardly know anything about Adrestian nobility (let alone Leicester nobility...), which is a shame. But you know the saying: out of sight, out of mind lol. Plus, they have government positions in the capital, so maybe they just delegate the management to other members of the House, which could potentially be a somewhat ungrateful position? Or maybe the wife is expected to manage the territory and thus has to do regular trips? ... yeah, I got nothing.

(Oh, just a little thought I had about Miklan the other day: since his mother was from the Empire, would he still have relatives there? If so, how did they react to his mother's death and his downward spiral? Would Miklan have tried to go to them only to run into problems along the way?)

Yeah... Something that bothers me with her mindset (which may be because I'm reading a book on the history of labour in Hawaii and it's really hard to stay calm when you see what was going on. Might do a rant post about this at some point, maybe, anyway) is that she seems to see people as assets whose worth depends on how talented (or rather useful) they can be. And, as Randomnameless said in another post, very few people are going to be coddled like Linhardt was. It's not that difficult to imagine that anyone who'd be struggling either mentally or physically (or both) could end up impoverished and left to rot in the slums because they couldn't git good. Maybe I'm being unfair, but I fail to see anything good coming from her rule.

Yeah, no offence (but kind of actually), but if someone says that a disabled person is just "lazy", then it just shows how privileged they are (regarding their health, at least). It's as bad as saying "have you tried not being depressed/autistic/etc?" lol

And true, in the society she aims to create, you'd have to do your damnedest to stand out from the crowd, otherwise you'd be at the bottom of society and we know how Adrestian nobles/wealthy people see them. It kind of reminds me of the book Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class by Owen Jones, in which he discusses the way poor people are viewed by the middle class/upper class and how it got this bad.

And, if that's any comfort, I wouldn't fare well in her society either, being neurodivergent and having depression, social anxiety (and maybe PTSD) lol.

And I get that getting rid of the nobility is based, but if it's to end up with basically the same elite (only with a different name), then what's the point? Dimitri might keep the nobility around, but he's also implementing a welfare system and some kind of democracy. And that's... good? I'd rather be a subject of a king but have social protection than not be under a king/queen while having to fight my way to a decent life.

(Also, I might completely be off the mark, but I could see Edel's rule lead to what is called the industrious revolution (a term coined by a Japanese scholar, btw!), that is the transition from a subsistence-based economy to an economy more focused on, uh, trade and profits. This change meant an augmentation of working hours for the peasants (and commoners in general tbh) because now they had to produce so that they could have surplus to sell. That's when mono-culture started to become the norm (which... well, mono-culture bad). Like, I could see Edel's citizens having to prove themselves by working more and producing more for the Empire. And trading diasporas (which played a big role at this time) could be like "we have this super rare crop, how about you grow it and we'll give you a share of the profits?")

Are you afraid of instability post-CF? Fear not, thanks to the Mittelfrank Opera Company, our citizens will be spied on so that any dissenter can be weeded out, thanks to Hubert and Shamir's efforts, any revolt will be severely put down and, of course, censure will protect our beautiful empire from any touchy subject that might anger the mass. How's that freedom from nobility feeling, eh? Seriously though, there's not a shred of doubt that Edel will use force and violence to deal with revolts or riots. And people won't forgive her so easily for invading and annexing their countries, so there's bound to be a lot of fighting.

Yes, as you said before, Dimitri will prioritise lives over "ideals". If your people end up decimated and your lands ruined because you were too forceful in your reforms, then it's not worth it. Dimitri gets that. Felix gets that. Sylvain gets that.

(dunno what you're talking about, I don't need nobody /j) Yeah, and according to the Internet, the term society literally comes from the Latin term societas which derives from socius (comrade, friend, ally). People are supposed to support each other in a society, or a healthy one, that is.

(side note: I've seen some people argue that centralisation and centralised societies are a good thing actually, which... no? I mean, it can be a good thing, I suppose. But there are sooooo many societies that knowingly chose to be a decentralised society. Like some populations in Africa (I'm not sure where anymore, I'll have to check) who saw what nearby centralised society looked like and just noped out of it (and funnily enough, the fact they were a decentralised society protected them from interacting with Europeans for a while, which... good for them) or the people living near Nan Madol who were mistreated by their ruler (and forced to build an artificial island aka Nan Madol) and, at some point, had enough of it and decided to get rid of him and become a decentralised society lol anyway, sorry for that deviation)

In a way, the "parley" scene is a good illustration of hadou (Edel) vs oudou (Dimitri), which was most likely the point. It's also the scene which interpretation varies the most depending on who you root for. Though when its interpretation is in favour of Edel, the rhetoric can quite... yeah. That, or it's Dimitri who blatantly refuses to understand Edel's POV lol.

Well, yeah. And even if Leopold doesn't get to choose his successor (lol), who has been studying everything that this position entails since his childhood? Yes, exactly. Honestly, I agree with everything you said about that.

Imagine being someone who loves to study but because you have a learning disability, you can't pursue your interests because you've been deemed as not deserving enough for that. Like... damn.

Yeah, as long as religion isn't used as a means to oppress people (like it's too often is IRL...), then it's totally fine and you shouldn't be shamed for believing in something. Everyone has their own way of coping with life and (as long as it's not harmful to anybody) they shouldn't be berated or despised because of that.

Oh yes, the poor lad really has low self-esteem... I still think it's better to doubt and ask around than be set in your own ways and refuse to consider other opinions.

Man, I feel so sorry for Sylvain's mother, whatever the route, she's bound to suffer... (same with the Gautier trio, but still lol)

Blue Lions? More like Based Lions. No matter the route, they always feel like people who actually discuss plans, debate, etc. Not Dimitri and his circus of yes men.

Maybe he wouldn't have much to say because "buddy, we're in the middle of a fight, can't this wait?". Seriously though, I could imagine him trying to feign indifference only to (try to) write a letter to his step-mother when he's alone.

It's funny how GW is sometimes considered to be a golden route when... if you think about, it's really not. Edel won't stop her war because the end goal is unification under the Empire's banner. And now, as you said, Leicester can't count on the Kingdom's assistance so it's going to be a three-way war until the bitter end. Not to mention that... Thales is still around? The Agarthans might as well wait until the three factions are done killing each other and then subjugate the surface (and what remains of the people). That said, assuming the Empire wins the war in GW and that Sylvain survives, wouldn't he be held captive in an Adrestian prison?

I imagine that in SB, Dimitri would make a last stand during which he (and possibly Felix and Dedue) would be killed and then she'd force Leicester to submit to the Empire. In the unlikely event that Felix survives, chances are he'd be stripped of his title (because despite him doing a good job, Edel would appoint someone (from the Empire ofc) with more "mehrit" who'd manage Faerghus as a whole, which means they'd have to take over the restoration of Duscur and deal with Sreng and, uh... well, as FantasyInvader mentioned, the Empire engages in military expeditions post-CF so why not in SB as well...).

Sooo... Maybe: AG: the Kingdom, Leicester and the Church win (yay) SB: the Empire wins (oh no) GW: the... Agarthans win? (oh... yikes)

I can see Lambert being like that, but he did launch a military campaign in Sreng, didn't he? Granted, we don't know the exact reasons, IIRC. In any case, it's true that Lambert seemed to want to, uh, speed-run his reforms. Maybe he also wanted to raise more taxes (or like tax the nobles) so have enough funds to implement some sort of social welfare for the commoners? Which the western lords were clearly against? Like Baron Dominic could have been a bit wary of what you said, but the fact the western lords would resort to regicide makes me think that they might have other issues with Lambert.

Oh good! An ending without Rodrigue is too sad to think about lol (which is why I'm willing to suffer the Zahras disaster, Rodrigue is worth the pain). And what's that about Ferdinand dying? I don't remember that at all. Wasn't he...uh... on the run and then taken into custody by the Kingdom army just to be safe or something? Also, do you publish your work on AO3? (Also, I wish I could find the courage to write cause I have so many ideas of... ideas in my head (especially about Morfis, Duscur, some political aspects of Leicester) but my brain blanks everytime I try lol it's a miracle I've managed to write this much these past few days)

True! He's very aggravating in this regard. I promise you Dimitri, getting some rest won't hurt your people. Now, lie down. Good - what's that thing you're hiding? Ah, some more paperwork. Of course. *facepalms*

Yeah, like even if you have a fundamental disagreement, why do you feel like being insulting? Honestly, everything that I've seen from the stans infuriates me. The harassment, the block-evading, the death threats, the generalised lack of respect towards people who don't agree with them,  it's just... wow. I feel genuinely sorry for people who can't enjoy the games because  of these people or are made to feel like trash because they don't want to walk with Edel... It's disgusting and pathetic. (and to anyone who's reading this, I hope you stay safe.) Also here's a meme, because why not:

(and completely agree about Petra. The fact that her situation isn't addressed with the seriousness it deserves is very problematic. As for GW!Petra, she doesn't exist)

You just don't get it. He's using her using him using her usin- uh... At this point, you might as well consider that Clod suffered some brain damage during the timeskip. Or that he was slithered. Whichever works better.

Hahaha, and the Sreng representative (maybe Leif!) would be like "why are you wearing summer jewelry when it's winter? Are you mocking our culture? Are you itching for a fight? ... Nah, I'm just messing with you. Or... am I?" (of course, they'd speak in the language of Sreng)

I'm having a really hard time fathoming how some people consider SB to be a righteous/heroic route or a route where we're the good guys. The route where:

You invade two independent nations under the pretence of "saving their citizens from oppression" (though I guess you can't be oppressed anymore if you're dead lol) even though Her Majestic Hypocrisy repeats a bunch of times that she's in for conquest and that she'd obliterate anyone who stands in her way.

The cast keeps victim-blaming the invaded parties for *checks note* defending their countries. 

The death toll is the highest. You have to kill Ingrid, Rodrigue, Gustave and Sylvain. And you can also kill Ashe, Mercedes (btw, if she dies, the cutscene where Dimitri and Dedue grieve changes slightly, which is nice), Annette, Shamir, Ignatz, Raphael and Marianne (how does Margrave Edmund feel about Claude's alliance with the empire knowing his daughter was killed by its army?). 

IIRC, this is the only route where you conscript merchants into the imperial army. No wonder the empire has the biggest army.

Based Rhea who, despite being hunted, still thinks about the safety of the continent first in the final chapter. It's hilarious how characters like Edespot or Clyde harp on about how Rhea is the big bad, and in the few scenes you have with her, she's just kind? Anyway. Rhea based.

In the C support conversation - which happens right after Felix got seriously injured and Sylvain got killed- there's this bit where Dimitri is like "I don't know if I can talk with like everything is normal, so many have died already" and Edespot's response is basically "yeah I don't see it that way. Let's agree to disagree". Also, I believe she wonders if she shouldn't just kill Clyde and Dimitri once they're out. Even though Clyde is her ally at the moment. You bet on the wrong lord, Clyde... 

I probably forgot a few stuff, but... oh well.

To be honest,

The only things I like about Supreme Bullshit are :

Its ending! Supreme Leader and Barney (well, at least they throw a sword?) being sitting ducks while Rhea steals the show, and sacrifices herself in an epic shonen scene to get rid of the real threat, aka showing that unlike someone, she knows how to prioritize, and it ends up in an explosion. It matches the ending of the F-Zero anime (at 0.48!), Rhea/Falcon rushes to deal a blow (a Falcon punch and a Seiros strike I guess?) to their mortal enemy, there is a giant explosion, and both Rhea/Falcon fade away in a blinding light. Too bad the Supreme Bullshit BGM is eons away from "Searching to the Truth" :(

The reveal that Rhea kept the keys to the sekrit passages in the Imperial Palace - or Rhea knows more about Enbarr and its castle than the current Emperor and her aides...

Doro's paralogue being incredibly tone deaf about, uh, soldiers being "too busy" by the Mittelfrank troupe, that they can't basically protect the dancers/performers from bandits, when the paralogue happens in an area that is expressedly supposed to be full of soldiers!

If starts align in a certain way, it's the only route in Nopes where Clout dies!

Leopold! He's like Victarion Greyjoy, only if he was taken seriously. But we, as players, know better! Also he's a living retcon, from having a major cichol crest to gift to his son because he fought well (and not to, say, Big B or even Ferdie) a sacred weapon despite the route being all about muhritocracy!

Supreme Leader plans and plays with the cards she has in her hand - from trying to get good PR to get rid of people (Varley sr) by pitting them against her next target (the CoS)!

An entire game full of new Supreme Replies (tm)!

For shippers around, it has a Cathmir scene where everyone knows Shamir will prioritize Catherine's life over her allegeance! too bad this is a Supreme Leader route, so no, Shamir won't fucking try to kill her for blackmailing her and can even kill Catherine herself later on....

That's not a lot lol, and most of it are breadcrumbs because for the proper plot...

Yeah, it kinds of sucks.

Supreme Bullshit is even more tone deaf with the War and its realities than Tru Piss (and that's a feat!), Ferdie being completely, uh, off the mark about everything (invading lands and rekting people, and then saying those people's fears are only in their heads! Pal, one of the first missions in the SB exclusive chapters is to rout refugees??? + the nonsense about the Kingdom having more crested generals, when data shows the Empire has more crested peeps than the Kingdom!), Caspar being turned in the worst version of himself who dgaf anymore about protecting "innocents" and "justice", and, uh, everything with Monica.

Victim blaming is the norm with Fodlan games, but yeah, it really feels odd that suddenly, in the Zahras chapters, Dimitri's all "okay" when his closest friends either died or were grievly injured and the game proceeds as it does when, come on, why wouldn't Dimitri kill her the second they're out of the Zahras verse??

I really disliked how Supreme Bullshit yeeted Ionius from Adrestia, or how it didn't explore in more depth the Insurrection of the Seven, especially since we side with Leopold'n'Waldemar against Ludwig, who used to be allies! Also, as far as I remember, no one mentions anything about Arundel, why he ran away to the Kingdom with a young Supreme Leader and how he changed when he returned, or something?

If Ludwig is pushed by Supreme Leader, reciting her Dad's words, as the one who led the insurrection and the experiments on her, why the fuck no one else mentions them, as Leopold and Waldemar were on Aegir's side back then? They don't even mention "Arundel" participating, like, Volkhard sides against Ionius and hides his niece, but 3 months later, he returns and offers her as a guinea pig?

As is the norm with the Supreme Leader routes, the "truth" isn't what we're looking for, because we know Supreme Leader pushes a narrative she will follow to reach her goals, but where Tru Piss gave hints here and there about her narrative being, uh, rubish, we have no clues here, and Leopold prefers to flash his loincloth than giving us anything meaningful about that incident.

When you compare them to Matthias and Rodrigue (and Gilbert?) who often mention Lambert "back in the days", it's more and more obvious that... we're not supposed to ask questions in Supreme Bullshit, and just go with the flow.

And it ends with a high five.

I'd say it deviates less from Tru Piss than Golden Shower does from Verdant Winds, but it's an "expected disappointment".

That's why my only higlights are not plot relevant (save for the Captain Falcon - Rhea parallel) - because we know the plot will never deliver something meaningful in a Supreme Leader route.

[stargazetheseries]

OPEN CASTING CALL FOR STARGAZE: “THE PILOT” EPISODE & TRAILER VISIT: https://stargazetheseries.com/casting-call/ FOR DETAILS OR READ BELOW: A Borken Creative Production Sept 27, 2021 STARGAZE is a queer campy sci-fi adventure short-form adventure series intended for OTT. Executive Producers: Jill Golick, Carrie Cutforth Director: Regan Latimer Writer: Carrie Cutforth Union: ACTRA TORONTO (NEW MEDIA) Shoot: The pilot will begin shooting for 5 to 6 days between October 25-Nov 17th, 2021 Location: Toronto STORYLINE: A disparate group of rookie oddballs join an elite squad commissioned to save the Queerverse (from itself) only to discover the STARGAZE program is a sham make-work initiative to keep the crew from rocking the boat by sending them out on a fool’s quest (led by two elder queer chaperones who despise each other). Think: A 2SLGBTQIA+ The Facts Of Life meets The Breakfast Club in space! *BIPOC STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO APPLY **MUST BE 18+ TO SUBMIT EVEN IF CHARACTER IS LISTED AS YOUNGER THE STARTGAZE RECRUITS: SAF RON (she/her): Character is 20, cisgender woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities; some physical comedy required. LEAD. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, Saf joins STARGAZE with high expectations. If the adults won’t save the day, she will… and finally get the credit she deserves! But can this lone wolf learn to connect with others, stop being a control freak, relax her unreasonably high expectations of others (and herself), and step into the leadership role for which she is destined? First, she’ll have to stop seeing anyone getting in her way as a mustache-twirling villain, learn to see her crewmates’ value, accept help, and open herself up vulnerably. Gets apoplectic when mad; Has a knack for creating very convoluted protest chants that no one can follow. WHIT SPRINKLES (he/him): Character is 19, cisgender man, gay, open to all ethnicities. Must be able to walk elegantly in high heels. LEAD. A social media influencer famous for his snarky and bitter ’reads,’ charismatic Whit has developed a parasocial relationship with his stans. Living life performing in the spotlight from a very young age, Whit has no idea who he really is, what his real interests are, or his beliefs outside of what his analytics tell him: “My fans are gonna love this!” Only joining STARGAZE under pressure from his stans, his inability to forge true intimate connections is exacerbated by his relationship with his mother/manager Mumsy Sprinkles, a talentless hack/narcissistic stage mother living her dreams through her kid. If Whit was a meme he would be: ‘Bitch, I dun give a fuck!’ But he does, indeed, give a fuck. ESSA T. HATCH (they/them): Character is 18, non-binary or agender, asexual, demiromantic, neurodivergent, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. Adorkable Essa is an introvert who doesn’t really ‘get’ people. The explorer among the crew with an engineering mind and a love of mapping places and spaces, they know every nook and cranny of the ship and are usually the first to forge ahead (i.e. wander off) on every expedition. Essa mostly wants to be left alone to their own devices because they actually prefer their own company (neurotypicals can be so exhausting!). This normally wouldn’t be such a problem except Essa was pressured to join STARGAZE to make friends and widen their social net out of parental concern (‘We won’t be around forever, Essa!’). Loves to knit, make Venn diagrams of relationships; speaks in emojis when emotionally drained. LEW D’SHUS (he/him): Character is 21, transgender man or transmasculine, pansexual, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. When babelicious Lew looks at you with his rapt attention and dreamy eyes, you feel like the only person in the ‘verse until his short attention span snaps away and he forgets you’re there. “Good vibes, only!” Lew will gladly give you your Tarot card reading, but not before taking the negative cards out first. With his strict ‘the universe is love, we are love,’ mantra, Lew never wants anyone to feel bad even when they are deadass wrong! His philosophy of

appeasement can cause conflict amongst the crew and his inability to take sides in crucial moments will often put them in danger. No, we cannot just hug everything out, Lew! CHRYSTRAH SNU (she/her): Character is 17 (must be 18+ to apply), cis-gender woman, identifies as ‘queer’ but just figuring it all out. LEAD. Chrystrah is a fresh-off-the-belt queer who has arrived with big expectations: ‘I’m here, I’m queer! Direct me to my spot on the rainbow carpet!’ The trauma of her homophobic upbringing has left Chrystrah without any real sense of self; her identity loosely held together like a fragile cracked egg. Any criticism, no matter how gentle, feels like an attack, causing Chrystrah to act abrasive, territorial, and defensive. She is always overcompensating in big bombastic ways because she feels so inadequate for not knowing the right words, behaviours, and codes. She is jealous of Saf (some might say obsessed) who does seem to get it all right. Fiercely loyal, Chrystrah is the first to run headlong into danger to save someone. She has a steep learning curve ahead. THE ELDER QUEER CHAPERONES: BAE TORGA (she/her): Character is late 30’s-early 40’s, cisgender woman, bisexual, bipolar, open to all ethnicities. PRINCIPAL. A war hero (or war criminal depending on who you ask), Bae sees STARGAZE as an opportunity to redeem herself in the eyes of former mentor and friend Oracle Cain. She is someone who struggles with self-loathing and self-doubt even though she’s spent her adulthood righting her past wrongs and reining in her bipolar disorder, which contributed to her past rash and reckless mistakes. Possessing a tough, gruff demeanor, Bae is outwardly sardonic but really a bleeding heart who holds back out of fear that any demonstration of affection and empathy will be seen as a commitment. ORACLE CAIN (she/her): Character is middle-aged or older, transgender woman, ambulatory wheelchair user or wheelchair user, open to all ethnicities. *Note, as this is sci-fi, younger than middle age may apply. PRINCIPAL. A founding figure of the Queerverse, Oracle has done her service, done her duty, and now she’s done. She wants a peaceful existence to guard her limited energy and manage her physical pain. Instead, she’s pulled out of retirement to command a ship full of bickering youths. She also has to contend with spoiled brat and former colleague Bae reminding her of the past that Oracle is trying hard to forget. But duty is duty and it’s not like complaining ever got her anywhere. Talking to Oracle can feel like playing a chess game where the aloof commander is always five steps ahead: you never quite know where you stand with her. ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS ELP WHIPP (they/them or xe/xem): Character is middle-aged or older, gender-fluid, open to all ethnicities. Leader of the coalition of non-profit planets (each with its own conflicting Gay Agenda) that rule the Queerverse, Elp Whipp is a career bureaucrat/bean-counter who often gets caught in the trappings of their own political web — meaning much of nothing ever gets accomplished and progress is never made. Elp will appear throughout the series in that ‘Dean of the school’ role, occasionally showing up to demand overdue reports, warn the crew that their funding is at risk, and generally throw a wrench in the works. CARDIGAN JACK (she/her): Character is 30s, cis-woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities. Cardigan Jack is a ‘pussy-hat’ wearing neo-liberalist feminist with a pirate vibe. She is the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ of TERFs, and Saf Ron’s nemesis. TO SUBMIT: Borken Creative is committed to diverse and inclusive casting. For every role, please submit qualified performers without regard to disability, race, age, colour, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other basis prohibited by law, unless otherwise specifically indicated, subject to legitimate casting directives. DEADLINE: Oct 8, 2021 EMAIL: casting@stargazetheseries.com. SUBJECT LINE: Character(s) Role, Performer’s First and Last Name, pronouns. BODY OF EMAIL: Please provide contact info including phone number.

Please confirm you are 18 or over in the body of email if applying for a Stargaze recruit character. Submit headshot and resume as attachments to casting@stargazetheseries.com. Resume should be in a scannable text file format (such as .doc, .pdf, .txt). First round selects will be invited to submit either a video clip audition or zoom audition invite. Only successful candidates will be contacted.

See less

[gelatinocomics]

"The Maud Couple” Is Good, Actually

[ID: Pinkie Pie, Maud, and Mudbriar stand outside in the daytime, looking at each other. Pinkie is smiling and talking with her hoof raised, while Maud and Mudbriar stare back blankly.]

In my experience, The Maud Couple (S8E3) is generally an unpopular episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic due to the introduction of the contentious character Mudbriar. It's understandably unpopular among the queer fans, who hate to see a shoehorned-in hetero relationship, and some neurodivergent fans who might take issue with Mudbriar's portrayal of autism.

These are legitimate grievances, but I think people don't give this episode a fair shake. I've put some thought into it, and I ended up taking a positive message away from this episode, even if it wasn’t the one intended by the writers. I'd like to delve into my feelings on the episode, which might help you better appreciate an underappreciated character.

[ID: Starlight Glimmer, wearing a mining helmet, smiles and looks behind her. In front of her there are large yellow, blue, and green gemstones embedded in a cave wall. Maud and Starlight’s reflection appears in every facet of the gemstones. Maud looks down as she talks.]

"Another reason I like rocks – they don't exclude you if you're... different than other ponies." (S7E4 Rock Solid Friendship)

Maud Pie is undeniably neurodivergent. Since her introduction, fans on the autism spectrum found lots of things to relate to: her lack of tone regulation in speech, her special interest, and her general difficulty in following the social rules that neurotypical people take for granted. In her first appearance, the Mane 6 found Maud difficult to understand, and none of them could get along well with her. The one thing they could agree upon was their love for Pinkie Pie. Pinkie grew up with Maud and they have an unbreakable bond. It’s a running joke in the show that while other characters struggle with Maud’s oddities, Pinkie finds nothing unusual about her.

The Maud Couple saw the introduction of Mudbriar, Maud’s boyfriend who she met offscreen. However, in his first scene, we don’t know his relation to Maud; he’s just an abrasive character that Pinkie can’t stand. Pinkie is shocked to discover that Maud would fall “in like” (Maud’s words describing her relationship with Mudbriar) with someone like him.

The irony of the situation is that Mudbriar is shown to be just like Maud. Maud says they have a lot in common, and they’re happiest when discussing their special interests. Later, Starlight (already established to be good friends with Maud) points out that Mudbriar sounds just like Maud, and Pinkie has trouble accepting that. The rest of the episode is about Pinkie learning to respect her sister’s love for Mudbriar, even if she can’t personally understand it.

[ID: Pinkie Pie wraps Maud and Mudbriar in a hug as they all sit together on a clifftop. The sun is setting behind them. Maud looks at Pinkie and smiles, while Mudbriar looks blankly at Pinkie.]

“Technically?! You’re right!”

Those are the facts of the episode. If Maud is such a popular character, why do so many fans have a bad reaction to Mudbriar? Is the episode wrong in portraying them as the same?

For starters, I think it’s notable that Mudbriar was not initially a sympathetic character in this episode. His first appearance has him severely aggravating Pinkie Pie, and the audience can easily sympathize with her. It’s a clever bit of writing that gives the audience the same exact struggle as Pinkie throughout the episode. The trouble is that many fans don’t feel satisfied by the end, and they can’t embrace Mudbriar the way Pinkie does.

Let’s take a look at Mudbriar’s behavior. Unlike Maud, he has a habit of correcting people over any little technicality. He brings the conversation to a halt when someone speaks with any ambiguity or inaccuracy, even something mundane that most would overlook as a normal and expected part of conversation. In fact, it seems to be his primary mode of communication. Like Maud, he doesn’t follow the typical rules of social interaction, which can make his conversations awkward and unpleasant.

Mudbriar’s behavior can be particularly off-putting to anyone who has experienced something like it. People who engage with internet communities have probably seen their fair share of pedantry-- an obsession with details that's frustrating to anyone trying to carry on a genuine conversation. I’ve seen Mudbriar’s behavior compared to “mansplaining” and Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory, a character often cited as poor autistic representation (I can’t comment on this since I haven’t seen the show). The neurodivergent audience might not appreciate seeing an autistic character portrayed as annoying and abrasive, since that’s not how autistic people want to be seen.

[ID: Mudbriar and Pinkie Pie are standing in Pinkie’s party cave, with piles and shelves of party supplies in the background. Pinkie aggressively pushes her snout in Mudbriar’s face and scowls at him. Mudbriar looks down at her with a slight grimace.]

Mudbriar isn’t easy to get along with.

I’ve been very careful to avoid describing Mudbriar’s behavior as arrogant or rude, as it might initially seem. There’s a reason for this: Mudbriar is well-intentioned and never does anything mean. Despite the way his correction habit might come across, he never says anything to imply that he thinks he’s superior. He doesn’t look down on anypony. He genuinely tries to be helpful. He never even reveals any dislike for Pinkie Pie. Whether you would describe him as polite or rude is pretty subjective, but you’d be hard-pressed to find any real evidence that he’s condescending. Watch the episode again with this in mind, and you may find that Mudbriar is a much more pleasant character than you thought.

It’s pretty clear that his conversational habit has nothing to do with a sense of superiority. It could be better described as a simple quirk. He might genuinely have difficulty reading ambiguity in conversation, so he needs to find clarity before proceeding. It’s unfortunate that this quirk makes him come across as unpleasant, not only to neurotypical people, but also to other neurodivergent people who can’t vibe with this style of communication. But at least he found somepony who understands.

[ID: Maud and Mudbriar are standing outside in the daytime. Maud smiles at Mudbriar, who is talking happily with his eyes closed.]

Maud has no issue with Mudbriar’s constant corrections. In fact, they’re happiest when correcting each other.

So what does this say about his autistic rep? Well, every autistic person will feel differently. We certainly won’t all be able to relate to Mudbriar’s specific portrayal. But I’m sure a lot of autistic people can relate to being misunderstood for the way we talk or emote, for people reading extra meaning into our manner of communication that just isn’t there. I won’t say MLP:FIM is the most progressive show when it comes to autistic rep; there’s plenty to be said about its neurotypical perspective, consistently treating its autistic characters as a narrative “other”. But there’s plenty to appreciate as well.

This is the message I took away from this episode: at times in your life, you’re always going to meet someone with an experience you can’t quite understand or relate to. You may even be unable to get along with them for whatever reason, and that’s fine. Just give them a fair chance to be themselves without assuming the worst. This is a message I’ve taken with me everywhere, not just for neurodivergence, but for every way that people can be different from one another.

Is this the message that the episode writers intended? It’s hard to say. Pinkie Pie gets a lesson from her sisters about how people can be like geodes, and where Pinkie only sees a crusty exterior, Maud might see a glittering gem. It could be as simple as that. And you could argue that the writers failed to endear the audience to Mudbriar by the end. If they did, would that serve the message better or undermine it?

The Maud Couple can be a challenging episode to enjoy, but I like a good challenge, and I ended up enjoying it more once I took the time to think about it. And if you’ve read this far, I’m hoping that even if you can’t enjoy Mudbriar that much, you can at least appreciate what he stands for.

[ID: Pinkie Pie and Mudbriar are standing over a table in Ponyville. There’s a log wrapped up in gift wrap between them. They are smiling and shaking hooves with each other.]

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

if you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with consuming content with 'problematic' aspects? for example, i see you reblog posts criticizing things like racism in tma, and you can still make content while being able to recognize those things. it's hard for me to continue enjoying something when it has even 1 thing slightly bad in it, but i know that's not a healthy way to consume content. is there anything you keep in mind when interacting with a given series? u don't need to answer ❤️ ty

also a note on my ask -- of course you don't need to answer, and you aren't a therapist & etc. i just admire your ability to both recognize flaws in works but still enjoy them, and thought since you seem to have critical thinking skills you might have a perspective that you could offer. being on tumblr from a young age seems to have affected my ability to separate things in my mind, lol. thanks so much for reading even if you don't feel comfortable answering.

I mean... you’ve kind of answered your own question? The only way to consume media is to remember that everything has flaws. My brother came by while I was typing this up and told me the answer is to “just vibe” because everyone is more or less terrible in one aspect or another but obviously, that’s not the answer you’re looking for.

I guess the short answer is just... you have to learn how to trust your own set of morals and understand that you shouldn’t feel guilty if a story you like betrays you. And yes, that’s hard, especially when you grow up surrounded by very rigid rules on what’s “okay” to watch, but if you’re just looking for some tips, here’s a list that I hope will help:

Find people you trust and see what they think of the situation. Think about whether or not they’re coming from an informed place. A friend of mine asked me if I knew about a Jewish tradition a while back. I had no idea what they were talking about. Turns out, it was something popular with German Jews. None of my family is from Germany. Sometimes, just being Jewish doesn’t mean I’m the right person to ask.

Find people who are complaining & see why they’re upset. Think about who is annoyed by this and how many of them there are. Think about what they think the proper response is, if any. Think about whether you have the right to wave off their concerns. Think about how those concerns are treated, both in-fandom and by creators. I saw a lot of people in the tma tag complaining about twitter “overreacting” to MAG 185, but if Jonny felt the need to issue an apology and specifically say that he realizes he’s crossed a line, chances are, the complaints were probably warranted (a thing I’d like to add is that apparently, RQ also issued an apology for a fluff episode they released, which I thought was kind of silly, because the episode was essentially just joking about martin forgetting a word. But also, as a neurodivergent person who sometimes struggles with speech, I do understand why that might upset people. not all apologies have to about incredibly important topics, but even the ones who aren’t show a lot about the cast behind it. Alternatively, if RQ had only apologized for this episode, and not MAG 185, that also says a lot about where there priorities are, and what fans they care about keeping)

Think about what will happen if you continue watching/reading etc. It’s not so much “is it okay if I keep watching this?” but “if I continue to watch this, will I convince myself that this problematic aspect isn’t actually a big deal? Is it so ingrained in the show that I can’t watch an episode without seeing the problems in it? What will I say to others, if they want to watch this?” For example, if someone sees you’ve reblogged a scene from a show you like and asks what it’s about, how many excuses are you going to give? How many trigger warnings are there, and can you justify them? There’s a difference between a piece of media having a character say homophobic slurs, and a piece of media saying a gay person should have homophobic slurs thrown at them.  Also: If you think you cant justify getting someone else interested, you probably shouldn’t justify contributing to the show. This might be obvious, but there’s a very big difference in pirating a tv show and buying its merch. 

Think about the fandom. If you continue talking about this, who are you surrounding yourself with? Like, there are a LOT of weirdos making content for kids shows, but that doesn’t always mean the show itself is weird. What it does mean, though, is that you should be careful navigating your enjoyment. Sometimes, the only way to enjoy something is to talk about it with a select few friends. Sometimes, it’s to enjoy it by yourself. I do believe it’s possible to enjoy a show in spite of the canon, but at the same time, if you’re watching a show that’s attracting a lot of racists, think about why that might be. 

some more thoughts under the cut, because I already wrote them out before I realized I could just make a list.

The thing about consuming media is that it’s very subjective. I know a lot of people who have given up on tma recently and while that’s not wholly because it’s “problematic,” it definitely plays a part in it. People have different meters for what they can excuse in media. The important thing to remember is WHY they left, and if you’re able to keep that in your mind while also continuing to engage in contact with the media. Will you be able to remember that Daisy traumatized Jon more than any other avatar if you consume context calling her Basira’s hot murderwife? Can you talk about the Flesh and acknowledge the racism in the creation of the Haans?

Personally, I don’t think you can produce positive content about Daisy and also acknowledge the harm she causes. You can’t point at a character and say, yes, she has committed actual police brutality, but I think she deserves a cute lesbian romance anyway. That’s not really a thing tma has done wrong as much as it is a problem with the fandom, but like, at the end of the day, it’s all just a matter of critical thinking. Who is being hurt by these portrayals of the characters? How? Most of the problems with tma aren’t things that are, like, baked into the actual worldbuilding and for a lot of people, that’s enough for them to still justify making content for the show.

If your complaints sound like “oh, if only they didn’t do xy, this would make for a good show,” then you’re probably fine. But if it goes into “i like this, but only if I can ignore (major plot point)” think about why you feel the need to keep watching. There are shows I’ve stopped watching based on principle. There’s manga I read that I only talk about with my brother and no one else, because I don’t want to be exposed to the fans. It doesn’t have to be as simple as “well, this artist did a bad thing, so now I’m going to ignore it forever.” If you think the creators of something are bad people, don’t support them. You can still pirate it or whatever, but if it’s something like hetalia, where the point of the show is just “let’s put all these stereotypes in a room and see how they react” then yes, for your own sake, you should stop watching because this is how stereotypes become normalized, and no one should be consuming media where nazi germany as the protagonist.

Really, at the end of the day, it’s just a matter of becoming media literate and that’s a process that takes time. Remember that being interested in something that isn’t 100% doesn’t make you a bad person, and listen to the people around you. Try and be a safe space for the people who do have complaints and remember not to place your enjoyment of something over the comfort of others. Other than that, just... do your best, I guess?