#pharmacy vibes ... idk ...

[pearl-kite]

Someone was picking up testosterone for the first time and asked about syringes, so our pharmacist walked through switching the points to draw vs. inject, how to recap the best way to avoid accidental sticks, etc. He then pointed out that the vials are 1ml each and designed for one dose only, which means there'll be leftovers to discard, because there isn't a preservative in the vial as they aren't intended to be used multiple times. He then very emphatically pointed out that we the pharmacy can't enforce disposal and that no one will show up at anyone's house to check to make sure that all vials are properly tossed after the single dose. Heavy emphasis.

Idk, I just really appreciated overhearing it. Some pharmacies are genuinely scary for some people right now, but there are ones out there that just want to be good.

[anissapierce]

The weed store than opened up in my county had a bbq with free food on their opening day n like an owner tht was so charming tht im considering weed for the first time ....

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Self-Indulgent HCs

pairing(s): Frank Castle x fem!Reader, Matt Murdock x fem!Reader, Michael Kinsella x fem!Reader

summary: How each of the boys would care for you when you were sick, headcanons bc i am tired

warnings: non-graphic, general descriptions of sickness (just cold/fever, not covid)

a/n: this month was already rough on my allergies but i came down with quite possibly the worst cold I’ve ever had. (It’s literally so bad i had to use PTO instead of WFH days? I am literally dying.) I wrote this when I was feverish and couldn’t sleep to make myself feel better. I hope someone out there likes it 😭

Frank

I think Frank would worry a lot when his partner was sick.

He’s lost so many people and he doesn’t have a huge circle so i think it takes him by surprise a little.

But he’d do his best to hide his worries by going about his day and comforting you.

He’d get fresh produce from the store and make you delicious soup, pick up tissues and medicine for you, threaten anyone who tried to make you go into work

“Your boss still pullin’ that shit? Gimme the phone, let me talk to ‘em”

He loves being your big spoon anyways but he would not let you go if you looked or sounded ill. You’d be nestled carefully against his chest while he stroked your back until you fell asleep.

He’d keep you entertained by reading to you or watching whatever TV your fever-ridden mind is craving.

Above all, he wouldn’t leave your side until you were feeling better.

The smile on his face the next time you take him out would be brilliant. He’s just so happy that you’re here with him and feeling better.

Matt

Personally, i hate the idea of getting people sick more than actually being sick sometimes but i think this would especially be the case with Matt

His senses are so delicate, I wouldn’t want to fuck with him by being gross and loud or by getting him sick.

But there is no way this man isn’t the biggest self-sacrificing-mother-hen when someone he loves is sick.

He’d sense your illness before you would, and encourage you to take it easy and sleep a bit extra that week (above all, he’s a hypocrite.)

Of course, he’s a bit embarrassed of everything he can do, or maybe you don’t know the extent of what he is capable of, so he plays it off as “you’ve been working so hard lately, sweetheart, you need to take it easy.”

A day or two before the bug hits you like a truck, he’d come over with a bag from the pharmacy that’s just chock-full of DayQuil and Tea and cough drops and like a single bandaid

He poorly plays it off as “uh, your first aid kit was low, remember?”

Once you’re well and truly sick, he’d be stubborn as a mule if you tried to keep him away. You lock him out of your apartment? You wake up from a nap wrapped in a Devil-shaped blanket to find that someone picked your window lock.

At that point, you just cave and let him stay because you are so cold and he’s so so warm.

Mikey

Not afraid of using his puppy dog eyes to get you to stay home or in bed.

Also not afraid of crying wolf and pretending that he’s not feeling well to make you take a break

“Sorry, pet, my head is hammerin’. Think we could lay down fer a bit?”

Combined WITH the puppy eyes? You don’t stand a chance.

Though you usually take care of the housework while he’s dealing with his family’s business, he wouldn’t let you lift a finger until your temperature was normal and your voice came back.

It’s as if you’re the only person that exists to him, he’s running around trying to anticipate your every need.

It’s been a while since he’s dealt with the real world so he might ask Birdy for advice on how to care for a sick person.

Lots of home remedies (idk just vibes.)

He would have you lean against him in a scalding shower to clear your sinuses or draw you a nice bath.

Keep cool water and a cloth by the bed to bring your fever down.

Hand you cup after cup of tea until you have to threaten to tie him to the bed.

“Just lay with me, please”

“Of course, pet. Anything fer ya.”

[nyxcharliechaos]

so me and @lemonking00 decided to make a tier list...but it's what neurodivergency/mental illness the cast of Hazbin/Helluva have

Explanations/are they medicated?/extra details or thoughts below because this will be a long post if I don't

ADHD- Millie: unmedicated, she just doesn't like it

Vox: medicated but OH BOY DOES HE FORGET, man will go 3 days without it before remembering then he's medicated for 4 days and they he's out of his ADHD medication! and it's ALWAYS when the pharmacy runs out and won't have it in for a few days

Bee: unmedicated she doesn't care she's just having fun

Clara: she's just here because LK said Odette was autistic and we wanted an ADHD/Autism sibling dynamic, I was going to skip them because we don't know much about either, she's properly medicated, Carmilla makes sure she takes her medication

Autism- Vaggie: we're all in agreement on this right?

Alastor: I know he's a sociopath but we've been joking he's autistic for a bit lol

Lucifer: his special interest is clearly ducks, yes he's canonically depressed but the autism is winnning

Sir Pentious: ok so everyone I know agrees with his so, mans got that autistic rizz

Vortex: ...ngl we just wanted him to be the ASD to Bee's ADHD being the ADHD/autism couple dynamic

Millie's dad: as stated by LK "he just seems autistic" and then explained farmers give off autistic energy, LK's the autistic redneck friend so I'll trust him on that

Lute: ...I have no explanation she just seems autistic, and like a homophobic homosexual

Zestial: so initially we put him in the group therapist tier but the autism won so we moved him

Odette: explanation for why she's here above

AuDHD (written as AUDI relating to a series of inside jokes but long story short half our friend group is AuDHD and one of said friends used to have an AUDI)- -Blitz special interest in horses, bad at emotions, he's not medicated, he should be on several medications, he's not on any of them

Charlie: ok hear me out, we all agree on the ADHD yes, but her dads got that tism ok, she would to. she is medicated, and Vaggie reminds her, but it's a gamble whether or not she'll take her medication even with a reminder

Cherri Bomb: ...bombs and just look at here that's my explanation for why she's here, no she's not medicated, there's other drugs, no it's not the same thing she doesn't care

Velvette: she's better about taking her medication than Vox is but she still forgets, always seems to run out around the same time as Vox...when they don't have the medication...being Valentino during that is great/j the two will lock the doors and make him deal with their unmedicated asses till the pharmacy has the medication again

Fizz: I don't think I need to explain why he's here, he's not medicated, he doesn't like the feeling and he likes himself better unmedicated, and Ozzie loves him either way so fuck getting his ADHD medication

Adam: simple explanation, ADHD and Autism is hereditary, so it had to come from somewhere and in the words of LK "it wasn't Eve, idk how but she's neurotypical", Adam doesn't believe people when they tell him he's AuDHD, so no he's not medicated

Emily: I'm not explaining myself, she is medicated and does take her ADHD medication on the daily, Sera will remind her and if she forgets after that Sera will just give her the medication

Depression- (depresso expresso because funny) Stolas: literally cannon, and while also Autistic unlike Lucifer the Autism is not winning

Octavia: I would be too if my family was that much of a mess

Barbie Wire: just fucking, look, no I'm not explaining this

Sera: (just makes gesture like, look at this bitch)

Twamatised- (referencing a joke in Gravity Falls) neither of these need explanations fucking look at the two that are here!

OCD- Moxxie: we actually added this catagory for him, he's just got those vibes

Niffty: I swear I remeber reading something on an old ZP era sketch dump saying she had slight OCD, I might be misremembering, probably, but got those vibes

Group Therapist- (fun fact this was initially a Husk only category but a lot more characters belonged in it then we thought) Husk: (points to episode 4) and yes depresso expresso as well but, I made this category for him so

Razzle & Dazzle, Fat Nuggets, Keekee, and the Egg Bois: all are here for similar reasons they're (basically) pets that bring joy and improve peoples mental states

Ozzie: I don't think I need to explain this one, since it's basically cannon

Rosie: ok so all the overlord are autistic (minus Vox), but they go to the category that takes priority and she's seen being a person you go to for advice so, this is just cannon

Carmilla: quote from LK "mom", that's why she's here, again all overlords are autistic (except Vox)

NDP- (narcissistic personality disorder) Verosika: we actually added this category for her so

Striker: ok this one's debatable but he definitely has a personality disorder of some sort

Valentino (KYS) was added just for Val to tell him to die

BITCH was added for reasons obvious if you look at the characters, no headcannons here we just wanted to call out these characters for being bitches

[runawaymun]

okay your QiQi and Hu Tao post is so real, her trying MULTIPLE TIMES to bury Qiqi is so??? Like. A young child dies in an accident of no fault of her own, and at the last second, an adeptus, an immortal powerful protector of the land, decides "this child deserves more than she got. She deserves to live." and revives her so that she can do that, but Hu Tao thinks she knows better? Like yeah your family has been running a funeral parlor for years but you're like 19 and you think you have the authority to overturn the judgement of low-level gods?? Please. Bless Baizhu's patience to keep rescuing Qiqi tbh I would have resorted to violence long ago.

Also, while Baizhu is not my Blorbo I am extremely glad to see a familiar face genshin-posting, I want to follow people on here for that but every time I go into the tags I take psychic damage :( I suppose I shall just have to do it myself but I'm a little intimidated lol

Me every time Hu Tao shows up and starts Some Shit:

I know it's supposed to be like silly goofy and her cluelessness is meant to be endearing, but it's just...not? She is so rude and careless and there comes a point when it is no longer pragmatism about death and steps over the line into "You're just an asshole". The fact that she leaves fliers FOR HER FUNERAL PARLOUR outside THE PHARMACY is just insane behavior. It's disrespectful to Baizhu and it's so fucking insensitive and disrespectful to literally everyone else. God bless Baizhu for insisting that he doesn't have a problem with Director Hu and for being the bigger person/the adult in this situation and so forgiving and patient like it could NOT be me.

Yeah she's nineteen and has trauma, but exactly exactly exactly Qiqi's story says the gods felt so bad that she died because of their conflict that they brought her back to life to right a wrong, and it's so fucking mean that Hu Tao insists that "Qiqi isn't alive" and "that's not any kind of life to live" and "let her be at peace" etc etc like that is not your fucking decision. That's up to Qiqi and Qiqi wants to live god damn you. LEAVE HER ALONE.

Also okay yeah she's 500 years old but that is a child with severe memory loss. Yes she's a jiangshi but she literally gets lost and stuck on her orders sometimes to the point that Baizhu needs to help her find her way home. Qiqi is just out there living her life and Hu Tao said "and I took that personally" LET HER VIBE. I hate that she made so many comments on Qiqi's stiff limbs (read: her fucking disability) that now Qiqi feels really uncomfortable if anyone other than Changsheng, Gaming, and Baizhu see her doing her stretches. I hate that despite Qiqi struggling to remember loved ones' names and faces and interactions with them, she remembers Hu Tao because of the trauma that Hu Tao inflicts on her every time she sees her. Qiqi is actively trying to improve her life with researching memory/brain exercises and doing her calisthenics every day etc etc and the pharmacy literally could not function as it does now without her. She has as much a right to be a member of Liyue's community as Hu Tao does -- and yeah like you said it is so insanely arrogant and hubristic of Hu Tao to assume that she knows better than the fucking minor gods of Liyue.

Literally Baizhu and Qiqi deserve justice and it's just insane to me that the implication is that neither of them decide to press charges on her even though they have to go to the fucking cops about this reoccurring incident. And presumably the cops always side with Baizhu and so like. Again does Hu Tao ever get consequences? Do they at least sanction or fine her??? IDK IDK it makes me so mad that this apparently has happened more than once and the idea of her running off with a child who has memory loss and may not remember who she is or where her home is, she just knows she's scared and that she might literally fucking get buried alive here, makes me physically ill.

anyway I know some people will be like "it's just a game. it's not real and it's not that deep" but I'm still going to hate a fictional character over it. She's an asshole and needs to fucking grow up. Idk maybe she does as she ages. I certainly hope so.

Also hi yes <3 <3 I am so glad you're enjoying the Genshin posting because I am going to be so annoying about it for a while!!! It's nice to find out that you're a fellow Genshin enjoyer. The fandom is uhhhhh crazy. So I feel you on that. I'm slowly collecting some nice people :) Thankfully the Baizhu fans are all pretty cool! I feel like characters like him just attract good energy <3

[horsemotifs]

The Terror (2018) if it played in a mall

(repost cause i changed my mind)

Fitzjames: employee at Zara. acts like its a luxury store

Francis: office supplies employee or manager of a convenience store

Blanky: outdoor apparell and gear. Jack wolfskin (every german man wearing jack wolfskin looks like blanky)

Silna: barista at a small but popular coffee shop

Goodsir: either drugstore, pharmacy or herbs/tea shop

Hickey: Lush employee. dont ask, theres something sinister in a funny way about them

Tozer, Armitage: you know those small but fancy Sneaker stores? big name brands and you have to tell them your size to get it from the back and they all wear the same shirts. Yeah

Manson, Hartnell: copy shop employees. the copyshop guy from Better Call Saul when Jimmy forged the papers (Manson) and the bank transfer employee Lalo offed (Hartnell). those vibes

Bridgens: bookstore. obviously

Peglar: bakery employee. located opposite of the bookstore, bridgens does his break at the bakery

Sophia: arts & crafts shop

Jopson: Cheesecake Factory/Waffle House. that food chain where the employees fight. he got that personality

Little: GameStop employee. it'll get better, son

Hodgson: brah idk... Apple Store. he got that face

Irving: handing out flyers in the halls

Gore: runs one of those smoothie stands in between the stores where theyre way too motivated

Dundy: Douglas or H&M employee

the Franklins: Home Depot-kinda store but for travels

Collins: phone repairs. theres a certain melancholy in those shops...

McDonald: self-care shop. soaps, herbs, scented candles, massage supplies etc

Stanley: those little, badly-lit and cheap pizza places near the bathrooms (i dont ljke him)

Dave K's modern job list, Prison/Oz list, Summer Camp list

[ittakesrain]

Yesterday was pleasant. I read a lot, and did creative things, and focused on my nutrition & health.

I had therapy at 7:15 (am) (on FaceTime). We were laughing right away because I was wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled tight (because last week I wore a tank top and she was mad at my weight) and she saw me and was like “you’re never wearing a tank top again haha” and it was funny. Idk maybe you had to be there lol. But we had a good session; we mostly went over my food log from last week but she like encouraged me in all the right places and gave me information and facts that I didn’t know and helped me piece things together in my head. And like I said, we laughed a lot.

So that goodness carried me through the day, but it was just a chill, cozy day at home. I loved the vibes. Bed made nice, laptop work, lots of drinks to quench my insane thirst, reading, blankets, etc.

Today’s off to a nice start. Meds, made a smoothie, called my mom, logged my smoothie, took a shower, got dressed. We have to go to the car store so Andrew can change his oil, and we have to stop at the pharmacy to pick up my lithium.

I have to do the dishes, check my emails, and look into nutrition more.

It’s sunny, a decent temperature, and I feel good.

[supercantaloupe]

insurance things suck. :(

idk if this will be helpful for you, but ages ago i was recommended this website that has coupons for prescription medication. i’ve never had to use it so unfortunately i don’t know more about how to use it, but i figured i’d at least pass it along.

https://www.lowermyrx.com/

i do know there are other pharmacy coupon websites though, so explore those too!

i really hope it gets better for you. sending good vibes for your journey soldier, godspeed 🫡

thank you for your kind words and for the advice! the lady at the pharmacy counter also recommended i look to see if there are manufacturer coupons for my specific drugs, or ask my doctor if there's approved generics/alternatives that would work for me. i'm still gonna try and see if a stern phone call with my insurance will get them to actually cover my meds again like they used to but if that doesn't work out i definitely will be looking to see where else i can save a few bucks

[ask meme]

[emmyrosee]

EMMYYYY I hope everything’s okay and that the emergency appointment goes well tmr, I’m sending you the biggest most comforting hugs and most positive of vibes rn my beloved <333333

here’s some doctors office fluff you can keep in the inbox for whenever you need it!!

in the waiting room, kuroo would so totally be a GOD at distracting you until it’s your turn to see the dr, especially if you’re nervous.

Distractions start the night before the appointment AT THE LATEST (earliest is literally the day you book the appt). He’s hyping up the trip, trying to make it more bearable by saying he’ll buy you overpriced coffee/the drink of your choice after the appointment, he’s goofing off with you before bed so you can go to sleep with a smile on your face…

and in the waiting room he’s holding your hand, trailing quick, soft kisses up your arm and grinning at you when you scold him about being in public. He’s whispering reassuring words in your ear when he notices you bouncing your leg and letting you grip his hand as tight as you need to. He also probably downloaded games on his phone for you cause he knows you’re too nervous to focus on your own phone and would rather watch him play games as you lean your head on his shoulder (fine okay maybe this was a self call out)

And if you want him in the actual appointment with you, he will gladly go and be a silent yet very comforting presence as you talk to the doctor. If you don’t, he’s content to stay in the waiting room, but probably sneaks to the hospital gift shop and gets you a small stuffed animal or something for when you come out. (If your drs office doesn’t have a gift shop then the pharmacy nearby should have toys too I hope)

And after your appointment!!! When you’re back in the car with him!!! He is so attentive and listens to all of your thoughts, whether he was there or not, and you’d better believe he gets you your drink. And there’s a ton of cuddles waiting for you when you get back home.

(and idk if this will resonate with you but I’ll put it in too in case it does; he’d also 1000000000% gush about how amazing you did and how well you handled everything, he’s just very proud of you overall but for this especially cause he knows you were nervous)

kuroo’s just built different and I have put extensive thought into doctor’s office visits and how he’d care for us and the anxiety that comes with it from experience so I hope this helps ease some nerves and puts a smile on your face!!!

make sure you’re hydrated and get a good night’s sleep ily lots <3

I need him to tell me how good I did I was so terrified 😂🥺

He’d just be so in tune with you, anything to make you feel at ease and better. He’d download one of those town building apps so you can build your own little area, just for you to see when you close your eyes.

“Tetsu, I want the purple monster.”

“We just spent our diamonds on the castle upgrade.”

“Then buy more diamonds 🤨”

And he will. Bc he wants the next time he sees you to be filled with excitement to keep building.

Him holding your hands while they give you an inspection, tucking your head under his chin and compressing you lovingly to have you at ease 🥺

And then getting you a drink and after, and getting you a surprise doughnut bc he’s so proud of you 🥺

Can I have a turn with the Kuroo Tetsuro please? 🥺🩷

[idyllic-affections]

staring at dragon-type-nuggetz's ask and i second bubupharmacy as a possible new url!! idk i feel like this one in particular would match your vibe :3 since i imagine bubu pharmacy in genshin to be this sort of safe spot and your blog is rly cozy and you also kinda seem to have this cozy vibe as a person? HSDHHF i hope it doesn't sound weird i promise i don't have anything weird/bad in mind 🙏🙏🙏

you all are being a little TOOOOOO persuasive rn........... /lh

ohh but i do appreciate that sm..... i always want to be a safe space for people, it means a lot to me that people see me that way!!!! and i def agree bubu pharmacy is such a safe space in my brain... such a cozy and safe place despite being a pharmacy.....

[solomons-poison]

Rambling about gender and my adventures in my nonbinary-ness, don't mind me

Mmmmm I'm still thinking about how two weeks ago, at my second job, this mom was thanking me after getting her kid's medicine sorted at the pharmacy. As I handed her the bag, she said "thank you sir" and left. Which in itself is not a problem at all, I heavily lean towards my assigned gender at birth but I'm good with any pronouns these days (and even had a moment of weirdness when someone used she/her on me)

I don't wanna use the word "pass" cause I feel like there's definitely a better way to say it but. I would say that I look like the average woman, and i present as fem usually. I wear things that accentuate my boobs, I have long-ish hair that I prefer to wear down, I wear sparkly/pretty jewelry with my necklace and my earrings. (And this is never to say doing/having these things automatically makes you a woman either; men can do these too, I would never argue otherwise, dress/look however you want, presentation ≠ gender).

So idk if it was just a slip of the tongue or maybe I gave off just enough of those not-quite-a-girl vibes to throw her off lmao. But this has just been sitting in my mind for a moment, it was an interesting feeling

[killclover]

about the other 2 projects...

ive paused pharmacy project for now bc i made the decision to revamp some paths and ughhhh... i have to rewrite all of the code -_- i should have made some sort of outline or script before coding... but i sort of did actually??! its just that i changed my mind after seeing how it was turning out ú_ù what i want the MOST its for this game to be FUN. that's the priority! scary and FUN! and what i was making wasnt that. SO, trying to learn from this experience, ill be making an outline FIRST, with all the endings and main choices, and THEN code it, and THEN actually write it...

as it turns out, writing the script + planning + coding at the same time = time consuming and disorganized. idk why i thought i was gonna "save time" by doing that lol -_-

about icfh... im stuck. again. i get stuck frequently w this project, it being so big and also so important to me T-T ive been working on it for MANY years, and it has changed a LOT in that time. sometimes its very hard to focus on just what kind of story im trying to tell with all the pieces. like, i know, but its hard to make it all fit together coherently. i guess the main vibe i want it to give is claustrophobic. in your own place, in your own skin.

my bd is coming! im gonna try really hard to concentrate on sososo starved bc i think its actually coming together??! it would be fucking AWESOME to actually finish it (finishing SOMETHING, oh my god!!!!) before my birthday!!!! its gonna be a busy and nervewracking month for other reasons but im really gonna try my best.

ill try to come up with a daily plan for it today or tomorrow!

[930am]

hater post about my pharmacist: i have always gotten the vibe she doesnt like me (or her job idk) because 50% of the time i bring her a prescription she will tell me im doing something incorrectly in a kinda condescending tone usually about my insurance. anyways last week i got all my prescriptions updated by the doctor and i went to the pharmacy and she malded on me for bringing her one she couldnt immediately fill bc of insurance and i was like aight dont fill that one fill the rest. and i pick it up today and realized when i got home she only filled one of the remaining two! so its her bad and i will have to go there tomorrow and make her more mad at me i guess…

[cavewretch]

captains log #755680 i don't remember how many numbers i used to put

been a while since i wrote one of these so it's Long

day 355 of the genocide in gaza. 500+ people killed in one day in lebanon. my neighbors put an israel flag in their window. hinds hall 2. i started watching this guy on youtube who does "gaza war sit reps," essentially summarizing events and the resistance's actions. he also does "tankie therapy sessions" with other ml journalists which are helping me keep it together. my mom said i looked down today and i said it's been a rough news week. she asked why. i'm trying not to let the rage and despair and biting indignation seep into my every interaction, but it'll be day 365 soon, and majority of people around me callously keep their heads firmly in the sand. how are you not also fundamentally different? how do you ignore this? aren't you at least ashamed?

no doctors will listen to me about mast cell activation syndrome. i don't almost die when i get a reaction so it doesn't count for them. i fear im getting more sensitive to triggers. i didn't get to go outside much at all this summer because of dust and pollen counts, and we didn't even have many wildfires this year. my pt said i should still do design for theater, and that i fit the vibe. "cool, chill, sure of yourself." that felt nice to hear :3 i tried to explain that i would love to, i desperately want to, but like. i get a migraine from other people's detergents. scented air fresheners force me to leave an area. i can't be in that environment anymore. not to mention my physical limitations.

i miss stimulants. pharmacies love to make you do a little dance before u can get meds. i hate being Dependent.

i can feel myself spinning out a bit on photosynth. i feel like i need to have something new every week to show to my professor, when i used to sometimes not even have a new note or idea for two months at a time. i think i need to turn the creative soil but i don't know that i have the energy for it.

i told my dad im a communist, and his first reaction was to tell me to talk to my grandfather about "living under communism" (former yugoslavia) (he left in the early 60s tho. and he lived on an island. his village has 6 houses to this day. he did not see socialism. i digress). this was a fascinating response considering my grandfather disowned my father in a fit of rage in april. do you still not think your father might be wrong about some things?

anyway. we bickered for a half hour, and the next day he informed me he downloaded the communist manifesto. probably the last thing i expected to happen but i'll report back if he actually reads it lmfao.

i've been watching a lot of documentaries on natural disasters and storm chaser videos on youtube recently. i've always had a fascination with extreme weather but i'm watching a lot lately. if you'll allow me to psychoanalyze myself. it's awe with weather and how the earth works. it's also a reminder that the world is bigger than humanity, we're part of an ecosystem. it's also a reminder that not all damage comes from us to each other . and that we can't possibly control everything. and it's nice to see people help each other. idk. it feels a bit twisted. but isn't it incredible that wind and temperature and water can mix up and spin and do all that?

writing about lesbians is very difficult. writing about lesbians under the (albeit lax) supervision of an older man in a position of authority over me is even more difficult. every time i feel the horror in the pit of my stomach i remind myself of that tweet that was like u have to write for u & ur dick (something like that) . and it actually Isn't perverse and evil . it's actually fine. (gritting my teeth)

ok thats all i got for now . disjointed wretched brain sample . good night 🤙

[bisluthq]

I wouldn't put SLL nowhere near BTD. Like no way. If anything, it's the opposite to me. She spends the whole album trying to justify why she left and the Matty of it all, by throwing him and staining their relationship under the bus. She doesn't assume any share of blame for doing anything wrong. I was expecting or atleast wanting music in the vibes of happiness as in we had a good thing, it didn't work out so let me be mature and admit we both hurt each other. And because of the 7 year mention, I'm going to pretend that was actually the mature song we got about them. HDIE is a bit better than SLL to me in this regard, but still not exactly

I don't see any accountability in SLL. She blames him for their fallout and nowhere does she say maybe I did this and I shouldn't have. I like the song, but the whole time she's like poor me couldn't do anything else while you didn't do this and that and that. I'm still waiting for a self awareness song, where she does admit that it wasn't only Joe who commited mistakes in the relationship she did too. The whole album to me was the same premise of HI where she's basically I had to cheat cause you didn't love me enough. Well sucks to be you 🤷 and the thing is I bet that's what she would do, because she's that predictable

well yea because I think she genuinely thinks he DID make her cheat by not loving her enough lmao. My ex really hates the song tolerate it because of the line “I know my love should be celebrated” because she’s like “… but why tho???” And I do get that criticism of even that song. There’s a degree of sense of entitlement in a lot of Taylor’s songs like “I like/love you ergo you should like/love me back the way *I* want you to” which isn’t necessarily the most healthy way to look at things because people can’t necessarily feel the things you want them to or even if they feel them, they cannot always express them the way you want them to.

I think love languages are a bit of bullshit pop psychology when taken far because obviously we all want all of them lmao??? but that’s one thing where I do think there’s some truth to the bullshit in that the way we express affection isn’t always the stuff the other person wants/needs from us and we don’t always express ourselves in the way we want to have it expressed to us also.

Like my partner definitely appreciates Acts of Service most of all and it took me ages to realize that. But for him like the most romantic thing I can do is sort shit out in the house and go fill up the cars and make sure there’s food in the fridge and stuff. I’m kinda nihilistic and spur of the moment and also yk clinically depressed and that one shrink did say I have PDA so that’s probably the hardest way for me to express affection. Now that I know this about him, I do generally speaking try, but historically like idk what’s for dinner and I don’t know how much petrol’s in the car and I’ll cross those bridges if/when I get there and the joke is when we first started up I thought he also just genuinely didn’t give a fuck because I honestly don’t lol and we’re pretty similar personality wise. Turns out he does. We figured this out actually when I had flu one time and I was in bed all day and he went to the pharmacy without me asking him to and made a bunch of food and like brought me extra blankets all without me… asking for this shit. And I was like “dope” and carried on fucking around on my phone and a few days later he brought it up because it had genuinely upset him that he’d tried SO hard in the exact way he’d like me to try and I hadn’t even noticed. He spent that weekend, from his perspective, watching me tolerate it whereas I’d felt like *I* watched him tolerate it when I’d tried to gift him things for instance and he didn’t seem appreciative enough. Now tbf I don’t *want* many gifts either but that’s how I was expressing it and I’d repeatedly felt like he didn’t care enough about the effort I’d put in to buy him things or pay for things. I also felt like he wasn’t giving me any Words of Affirmation which is actually what I appreciate the most so I want to hear about how much I’m loved and how great I am a lot and he never said anything like that but not because he didn’t/doesn’t feel it - just because that’s not important to him. We figured THAT out because I wrote him this very pretty letter as an apology once that I worked really hard on and he actually explicitly said like “but these are just words - you can say you love me but it’s just words”. So we were both sitting back watching the other person tolerate it and feeling hard done by because of what essentially boiled down to lack of communication on both our parts. Cool realizations and have, along with therapy, improved things.

THAT is what I feel is missing in Taylor’s songs (including happiness even but that’s also because it’s not from her POV lol and she cannot for a minute relate I think) and why they feel so immature - there’s no real sense of “I really fucking tried to meet you where you needed me but it still unfortunately didn’t work out” ever. Her stance is “I am amazing and I’m trying so hard and FUCK YOU for not giving me what I want and no I’m not gonna tell you what that is because if you were my true soulmate you’d instinctively know” which like… isn’t how it works. And I think until Taylor comes to those realizations herself, she’s not going to write lyrics like that. Which is great for US because sometimes you just feel sad and mad and entitled to your disappointment and Taylor’s music makes you feel better in that moment but isn’t really the healthiest approach to take.

even BTD like she says she fucked up by dipping and she feels bad about that but it’s still, in a way, expecting him to just be like “no sweat, totally see what you did there” and doesn’t really leave that much room for what he’s feeling or thinking because she’s like “your guard is up and *I* know why” and no u actually don’t babe lol idk.

[toehwa6]

Got some more rizz from pharmacy bitch today. Felt pretty good

She wasn’t helping me but she ran over to say what’s up, and she told the bitch helping me what my bday was

She was like, yeah it’s been about a week since you came in

This fuckin bitch lol

Thinking about asking her to run or something. Every besides derry fucking sucks

Maybe that’s just how I feel cause shit is hard rn

Think my bitch is havin a good time in New York so that’s good

Bought my necklace today. Old had a mild panic attack lol

Didn’t fucking have it in stock so I’m picking that and my other shit up next week after work.

Probably gonna get to wear my shit to lunch with the work hoes

Shitll be cool

Shit don’t feel good right now but I’m telling myself it is

Works good, musics super good, cubing is pretty good

Gettin rizzed up on the reg so that’s pretty cool too. It’s something to look forward to

Not even on some cheating shit I just like the attention

It’s so odd

People be telling me this crazy shit everytime I meet them and they’re like

Idk you just got this vibe man

Like mother fuckers be tellin me how shitty their life be. Honestly like I give a fuck

That’s how it was with pharmacy tech.

I walk up and say what’s good and she’s like well not so good I just started my second job and shit

Like bitch what

I’m noticing I do this smile in certain situations.

I stretch my mouth as far as possible and then my lips curl up over my teeth

It’s so funny

It happens when people are saying dumb shit or someone just made me feel a way

It’s surprising to me that people think I’m cool when I hate myself

I’m not even sure why anymore

Shits good and I’m good I guess

I just still feel bad

Idk hopefully I’ll get over it soon

Alright cya