#please i don't know what I'm talking about

[dimeadozencows]

A few dumb ideas I had for a bit hehe

[skelesimp]

ao3. my buddy. my pal. love of my life and late night companion.

i am drowning

maybe I should be writing requests???

Wrangling Update: Undertale & Deltarune Fan Games & Fanmade Web Series

Hello Undertale and Deltarune fans!

Based on the updated policy laid out in this post, we are planning to canonize Undertale Yellow as a separate fandom from Undertale, as we have determined that it meets the criteria of sufficient original content and size requirement to qualify for its own fandom tag. In the coming days, we will be canonizing Undertale Yellow (Master Sword Video Game) and subtagging it to the main Undertale fandom.

Fandom tags which have been used primarily or entirely for Undertale Yellow (and variations) will be moved over to the new fandom once it has been canonized. Please be aware that it may take some time to complete this transition, so we thank you for your patience as we make these changes.

AO3 tag wranglers will use the following criteria to determine if a fan game, web series, or webcomic should get its own fandom tag:

Is it in the format of a playable game, a webcomic, or a series of videos?

Does it focus on a new cast of characters or significantly differ from the source fandom in some other significant way?

Does it have at least 10 fanworks on AO3 posted by 10 unique users?

In anticipation of questions, we also want to address that at this time we will not be canonizing other fan games or non-game fan-created fandoms for Undertale and Deltarune, including those that may share some similarities to Undertale Yellow. Wranglers have examined other Undertale and Deltarune fan games, webcomics, and web series currently synonyms of the main fandom canonicals, but found no other fandom tags that fit the criteria for canonization at present. These will remain synonyms of Undertale for the time being. We will continue to monitor tag usage, as well as evaluating new webcomics and web series on a case by case basis, and may make additional adjustments if usage changes.

If you notice distinct Undertale or Deltarune fan-created games or web series that have been tagged for on the Archive that reach 10 uses by 10 distinct creators, you are welcome to submit a request for canonization by contacting AO3 Support, and our team will evaluate the request to determine if these fandoms should be canonized under the current guidelines.

(From time to time, ao3org posts announcements of recent or upcoming wrangling changes on behalf of the Tag Wrangling Committee.)

[cakypa120]

I've been having this idea where people believe that Captain Marvel accidentally killed Danny Phantom. I imagine Danny with Lichtenberg scars in his ghost form, and Phantom is a hero who occasionally helps Shazam. But through their sarcastic banter and sharp jokes, people start theorizing that they were once a couple — spinning a story where a young Captain Marvel lost control of his powers and caused Phantom's death. I picture the Justice League feeling sorry for Captain Marvel, which just fuels a whole mess of misunderstandings.

Nobody knows what connects Captain Marvel and the Phantom. The Phantom suddenly appeared in the world of heroes. And he immediately found a common language with Marvel. And you know, it felt like there was a slight tension between these two. Nobody knows the reason. But there is one guess.

Captain Marvel is somehow connected to the death of the Phantom.

This theory was put forward by one person on the Internet when he posted a video that he accidentally filmed.

Apparently, the Phantom and Marvel were clearly arguing about something.

Phantom: They still hurt.

Marvel: It was a long time ago. We already discussed this.

Phantom: You are to blame for everything.

Marvel: Phantom, please, not now.

(Billy and Danny had a play fight where Billy landed a few good punches on Danny. The bruises still hurt, but it's Danny's pride that hurts.)

Everyone saw Lichtenberg's scars on the Phantom. The ghost himself said that lightning was the cause of his death. Maybe when Marvel was young enough, he accidentally pierced the Phantom with his lightning and killed him? And the Phantom became a restless spirit that wanted revenge on Marvel?

The theory about a vengeful spirit was rejected by another user who posted another video filmed in the middle of the battlefield.

Marvel was lying on the ground while the Phantom protected him from various attacks. The ghost's face was distorted with righteous anger. It was immediately clear that the Phantom was protecting Marvel. No one could miss how the Phantom went limp in relief when Marvel stood up with difficulty.

Maybe the Phantom and Marvel were in love with each other when the incident happened? And the Phantom remained restless because of his love for Marvel? That sounded more plausible.

The League of course sees all these theories. Everyone immediately starts remembering all the interactions between Marvel and the Phantom. And everyone could remember at least one interaction that could confirm that theory from the Internet.

The Flash caught the Phantom yelling at Marvel.

Phantom: You! You!

Marvel: Phantom...

Phantom: How could you!?

Marvel: Phantom...

Phantom: I trusted you! And you betrayed me! Of all people! It's because of Dan, right?!

Marvel: Calm down, you're just jealous...

Phantom: I'm not jealous!!

Batman saw this conversation on the camera footage.

Phantom: I'm hungry.

Marvel: I can't help it. You're a ghost. Ghosts don't eat.

Phantom: Neither did the Champion, but you eat.

Marvel: The perks of being alive.

Phantom: I hate you.

Marvel: I know you love me.

Phantom: I'm sorry, just so you know. You're my biggest mistake.

Marvel: Your whole life is a huge mistake.

Diana didn't mean to eavesdrop. But it was an accident.

Marvel: I'm sorry.

Phantom: It's not your fault.

Marvel: I'm sorry.

Phantom: Look at me. I'm not mad at you.

Marvel: But you...

Phantom: I chose to do this.

Clark heard this because of his super hearing. And honestly, he doesn't know what to say.

Phantom: You killed me.

Marvel: Don't be dramatic.

Phantom: I'm not being dramatic! You're to blame for my fucking death!

Marvel: It was an accident!

Phantom: I could have achieved so much! And you literally took everything from me!

Marvel: Are you still mad?! It was a long time ago!!

Phantom: Fuck you!

After that, everyone looks at Marvel with some pity. Especially when Phantom is around. This worries Billy a little. He notices how his colleagues look at him when he talks to Danny.

Danny also gets weird questions:

How long have you known Marvel?

Are you mad at Marvel?

You're not getting back at him, are you?

He was inexperienced, you know?

But things got worse when Pharaoh, Phantom's friend (yes, Tucker became a hero and he does everything for the sake of chaos) said something during his interview.

Pharaoh: I swear. One moment they're inseparable, the next they want to rip their throats out. Phantom remembers the past. It's affecting Marvel, because he's changed and more experienced, you know. I'm not going to lie, I was there when it happened. It was terrifying.

It blew up the internet. Everyone was talking about it. Danny and Billy, meanwhile, weren't sure what the hell Tucker was saying.

[vxnillabxn]

hey! can i request an x reader with all of the li’s (or just caleb if all 5 are too much ;;) abt an mc who is a bit embarrassed abt having ‘nerdy’ or ‘weird’ hobbies (anime, figures, otome games, etc.)? i’m into lots of those things like many other people in the fandom, but i’ve only recently become more embarrassed abt them TT

love your writing as always 💕💕

𐙚˙⋆.˚ mainfive! x nerdy gn!reader ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ fluff! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ sfw! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ do not translate/copy/repost! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚embrace whatever makes you happy! (as long as it doesn't hurt others ofc) ᵎᵎ also, i'm not sure if the word "nerdy" is considered bad... at least i use it all the time to describe myself, so uh, if it is, i'm deeply sorry! ꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ i added some cute ideas of how they would share those hobbies, too! hope you like it, and thanks for the fun request, pumpkin~ ♡

𐙚˙⋆.˚ caleb! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚he's a nerd. you can't look at him and tell me he isn't. he is obsessed with planes, he will rant about them nonstop, he even has a collection of plane models, okay?

﹙♡﹚so, if you collect figurines, or have posters, dolls or even plushies of your favorite shows, animes or games, he won't mind at all. in fact, he won't get why you feel embarrassed about your favorite stuff!

﹙♡﹚he will ask what you're currently watching, and he will catch up just so you have someone to talk about it with, because he wants to understand why you like something so much, and he loves seeing your eyes lighting up.

﹙♡﹚and yes… even if you're 700+ episodes in, he'll binge-watch them and then talk to you, but don't you dare show him any spoilers, or he'll likely do the same with shows he knows you haven't watched yet.

﹙♡﹚he would actually love to have lazy days with you, just watching or rewatching animes or series with you, because seeing you so entertained and happy makes him happy too.

﹙♡﹚if you are into cosplaying, you can bet he'll ask for a couple cosplay. he gets to be the big, tough character, though, only to show off his biceps.

﹙♡﹚if you feel shy about admitting your favorite shows, games or comics to other people, he'll chime in and talk about his nerdy likes first, so you too feel reassured to share.

﹙♡﹚do be careful around otome games, though… he'll find out about them, and he won't be thrilled, especially since you literally have him? right there? not on your screen? pipsqueak please—

﹙♡﹚if you do play them, however, expect him to be looking and clenching his jaw, talking about how corny the characters are, and how he's sooooo much better.

﹙♡﹚—he'll celebrate with you if you get SSR+ cards, though, especially if he sees you spending lots for it… but act blind. you didn't see anything.—

𐙚˙⋆.˚ rafayel! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚oh man. even if you try to hide your hobbies or favorite things from him, he'll find out. he'll want to know what makes you smile so much, what makes you squeal, cry, scream… let him in!

﹙♡﹚i feel he wouldn't understand the hype at first… unless he sees the artwork or if you accidentally show him the art forums. if he understands the vision, the colors, the animation/drawing style… then he's in.

﹙♡﹚he's very likely to become famous on patreon for his fanarts, too. make sure to manage his earnings well, hehe. (exploit him if you must)

﹙♡﹚he'll also draw you in different styles, whether you want him to do so with one of your favorite games or one of your favorite animes, he's got you.

﹙♡﹚he'll find himself putting on your favorite shows as he paints as background noise, or have you spoil him about what happens; he loves when you feel reassured and ramble about the things you feel passionate about.

﹙♡﹚and no, he can't wait two seasons to find out the ending, nor will he wait for the manga/spoilers to be leaked online. tell him now, or make up something.

﹙♡﹚also, i know he would adore dressing you up and helping you with your makeup and wigs if you cosplay. he'll go with you to different conventions to help you touch up, and also to help you feel confident. he's such a sweetheart.

﹙♡﹚buuuut, he'd love for you to ask him to cosplay with you! the pictures he would take of the two of you? endless, majestic, museum-worthy.

﹙♡﹚if someone dares shame you for your hobbies, he'll give the shadiest side-eye ever, because what do you mean people are still shaming others to this day…? get a life.

﹙♡﹚do not let him play the same games as you, especially if they are competitive. this fishy boy will not let you rest, and if you win against him or surpass him? you'll face his tantrums for days.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ sylus! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚his attention is piqued when you start hiding your figurines, posters or favorite comics whenever he's around.

﹙♡﹚is there something you don't want him to see? trust me, no genre, game, show or comic you're into will scare him away, nor make him feel like you're ridiculous.

﹙♡﹚he wants to know everything, he wants you to share things with him, even if you feel like he won't like them. —he'll end up being a shoujo fan, i know he would.

﹙♡﹚if you play games until late… he also plays video games, and he doesn't sleep at night, so you quite literally have the perfect partner, and he is very good at playing, too.

﹙♡﹚also, you'll soon become one of those gaming accounts you hate. yeah, those that have all the skins, all the guns, all the cards, all the collectibles… those that are leveled up to the max, and that you just know spent thousands to get there.

﹙♡﹚or even worse; one of those fans that has all the books, all the plushies, all the figurines, posters and even the VA's personalized signatures.

﹙♡﹚because his credit card is yours, and he'll encourage you to spend on games and hobbies with no shame. indulge yourself a little, kitten.

﹙♡﹚he'll also let you have a room for all of your collectibles or mangas/books. display your most precious treasures, sweetie. he'll be proud.

﹙♡﹚if you feel embarrassed about being seen at anime conventions, or any events regarding your favorite things, he'll definitely organize something private for you and your friends to still enjoy without the unnecessary attention.

﹙♡﹚but truly, you don't need to feel embarrassed, not when your boyfriend will happily indulge in what you like, and will always make you accept what makes you happy, unapologetically so.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ xavier! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚baby's an avid reader, just slide a manga or comic into his hands and he'll start reading and looking at the pictures, too.

﹙♡﹚or, print the lore and theories from one of your favorite games and hand them to him. he'll link everything up and, without noticing it, point out the flaws or debunk some fan theories in no time.

﹙♡﹚that is probably the best way to get him into the things you like, without him saying he's too tired to binge-watch or to understand what's going on.

﹙♡﹚he's probably the most calm about your hobbies. he won't understand why you feel embarrassed about them, if they make you feel so happy and distract you from those stressful days.

﹙♡﹚he will, however, throw a fuss about otome games. yes, he's jealous. no, don't laugh at him. what do you mean they can “call” you? and why are characters saying lovey-dovey things through your screen? not on his watch—

﹙♡﹚if you play your cards right, you can get him to play video games with you. especially if they are rpg or medieval-coded.

﹙♡﹚yes, give him those knights, dragons, kings, queens, elves, castles… he'll be in a trance, making sure to skill up aggressively —if he remembers to log in.

﹙♡﹚although, he'll also just enjoy being by your side whenever you are watching, reading or playing something. he'll curl up against you, even if you shift too much, scream, yell or squeal in joy.

﹙♡﹚seeing you being so carefree and happy whenever you do something you genuinely enjoy makes him incredibly happy.

﹙♡﹚so, even when he doesn't necessarily participate as actively as you do in your hobbies, just know you have someone to rant with, and who will always consider them just as valid and important as you do.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ zayne! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚give him some time, okay? he's trying his best to keep up with your hobbies and all the things you like.

﹙♡﹚obviously, he'll smile like a fool whenever he sees you enjoying a show, a game, or if you are actively reading something with so much passion. why are you so cute?

﹙♡﹚but slow down when talking about characters. he is still getting the hang of it, and he is also mentally relating them to their corresponding fandoms.

﹙♡﹚he's totally the type of man to add an “s” to things, like… “is he one of the kaikyuus?” or “is that one your shingekis?” an old man at heart, truly.

﹙♡﹚he remembers every single thing you mention, though, and he'll surprise you by buying some things for you here and there, just so you feel further validated about your likes.

﹙♡﹚during his free time, if you're not there with him, he'll watch a show you like, so he can talk about it when he comes home to you. also, it reminds him of you, and doing something that makes you so happy fills his heart with warmth, sugar, flowers, and everything in between.

﹙♡﹚if you collect figurines or plushies, the man will look up how to keep them clean. he'll use some tools to dust them off, and leave them shiny or good as new.

﹙♡﹚he'll make space for your comics, mangas or books in his bookshelves, and you can definitely fill them up if you must. after all, he only displays important and meaningful books for him, and yours are exactly that.

﹙♡﹚and feel free to decorate his office, too. put posters up, cardboard figures, keychains, drawings, anything.

﹙♡﹚he'll never feel embarrassed to explain that's what his love likes, and therefore, he enjoys it too. no, it's not childish nor embarrassing; it's part of you, and there's nothing about you that he doesn't like.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Hello! So I did not expect this post to blow up, this was mostly a personal rant. As it has blown up, I'd like to add some clarifications/additions:

The Google docs thing appears to be mostly ancedotel and there's nothing confirmed that this is a targeted attack in any degree more than it already was. I would like to say to people saying it's fake or accusing specific Tumblr users of lying about this experience that the fact google docs have been deleting documents was a big thing in 2024 and reported on here, and so it may not be widespread but it also may be happening to individuals. Don't accuse individuals of commiting fear mongering for talking about their own experiences, but also make sure you don't fall foul of fear mongering on this one either and try and follow reliable news sources for whats actually happening with google docs.

I did not know when I made this post that Australia is implementing a similar law right now - a few Australians have added some responses to this post that I found very intereting and informative. I'm sure there are better Australian news sources on this, but here is one I read from the Guardian

A couple of people have said that the steam/itcho thing only 'delisted' games and accused me of fear mongering because I said they deleted games. While this is...kinda true, it's also not that simple (although not as simple as I said it was either). Valve for example, have deleted games from the platform and delisting games, is, in effect, deleting them for new players/people who are interested in those games. I would say my original point still stands.

What is being 'blocked' in the UK is currently not clear, as it appears implementation is being rolled out slowly to batches of users at a time. Porn is difficult to access, although erotica websites haven't all adopted the rules yet. Some people are reporting spotify, reddit, youtube and discord are all asking for IDs to be imputted. I know a few people who have been caught on discord and had to switch to VPNs, although this hasn't happened to me yet. These things are usually rolled out incrementally to batches of users at a time so not everyone is experiencing the same restrictions. Wikapedia is currently in dispute with the UK government, so its clear the UK government does want to block some of what they host, even if Wikapedia is trying to stop that happening.

The UK has a labour 'left' Government, so some idiots are claiming this is a communist plot. This is not a communist plot. The UK is not a communist or socialist country; Kier Starmer wouldn't even fully commit to nationalising steal, let alone anything else, and has been cutting benefits since they came into power. This is not a 'communist plot' by 'evil leftists'. Its cenorship, and its borderline facist (especially as it would make things much easier for facist governments/laws).

The UK government refused to debate the petition to repeal the act when it reached 100,000 signitures. The petition however, is still live, and has continued to gain signitures since this response, and it now sits at close to 500k signitures.

If you are in the UK please sign this petition if you can:

I think that's everything. I'm not a news source, by any means. Please do your own research, read up on things, and make sure you're informed by more than just a tumblr post. Thank you for listening to my clarifications - like I said, I really didn't expect this to blow up like it did.

Something terrifying about the way censorship is just straight up happening right now and they're barely trying to pretend that isn't what it is. The UK rolling out the Online Safety Act which forces anyone accessing 'adult' content (including discord, LGBT+ forums, various resources for drug addicts etc.) to share their face and ID with American third party companies, and refusing to debate a repeal in parliament despite 300,000 signatures on their own website to do so. Something fishy going on with Google docs suddenly deleting/restricting content. Itchio and Steam suddenly deleting 18+ games including both porn games and horror games at the behest of Mastercard.

Like. Truly in the past month the censorship is hitting like a truck and we're all just supposed to be fine with it. Like. It's genuinely making me feel sick.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Happy 3 years of Fragments!!

What's dressed in black, but has sparkles and rainbows all over the place? Yes Vivi's ass, but also-

The comic has a new permanent home:

fragments.gay

^ all you need to type to start reading it RIGHT MEOW

I find that a good name makes your project easy to memorize and talk about. So, when I learned about .gay domains and was lucky to snag fragments.gay, I knew that the stars aligned and that I finally had no excuse to delay making my own site. I also needed a secure place for the ~hotter~ episodes (which debut in 2026 by my estimation) that I wouldn't be able to post on my regular platforms that already clutch their pearls at a male nipple.

Two other cool things: larger pages and THE STARRY CURSOR. Finally the comic can be experienced in the way I've always intended.

There are some wip elements. Comments move in mysterious ways. They DO get posted, however, you've gotta access an episode from the archive to see comments. I'm a complete beginner at this, so bear with me as I figure things out.

The third anniversary project's more you-oriented than me, now you don't have to hunt down the unwieldy long links. Fun and snappy address! No need for an account! The comic's more accessible than ever.

Oh and there's a secret that rewards those who click around and carefully scroll through things. Something you'll see in episodes 76-77, which are yet to exist at the time of posting.

Whether you've been around for 3+ years, or just found me recently, thanks for sticking with me (stick to me like carameeeee- *gets kicked*)

3 years is nothing to sneeze at. Due to the steady comic update schedule, I'd never felt the time pass so… normally in my entire life, in fact it's grounding me in reality, I never forget what day it is anymore. My time's filled with work, but the happy and satisfying kind. I need something to keep my brain occupied, and Fragments does it rather well. Thanks for supporting such a massive endeavor.

Right, the s word- shameless plug time! But the anniversary only happens once a year, so I've gotta.

We're close to 500 patrons. Surely we'll eventually get there, but what if now? Pretty please with an emet-selch on top? This crowdfunding's contingent on the "crowd" because I'm asking only for $1. The comic goes on thanks to the many of you willing to chip in.

Can't use patreon? Kofi is also a thing!

Got no money? You know the drill: the word of mouth is free and as important as ever. I'm eternally grateful for each and every shoutout, rec and review. I know that I'm making a damn good thing, you know it, but someone else doesn't. Yet. And YOU can fix that!

[blackwoolncrown]

I've spoken about this soooo many times before but once again studies have come out about indigenous precolonial lifeways within the umbrella of polyamory and ppl keep 'discovering' that these relationships were largely built on mutual responsibility and structure and not just 'wow queer sex'

And it makes me think about how we KNOW that colonizers 'studying' precolonial societies looked at people who weren't weighed down by religious shame or wearing 4+ layers of clothing in hot environments and projected their repressed sexuality onto them.

We KNOW that where sexualities existed, these freak ass euros were obsessive about it and hardly had concepts of anything more subtle or nuanced happening outside of it (these are the same people who saw centuries-old food forests as 'untouched land' so like...par for the course)

And knowing that I REALLY think people- especially white LGBTQ fols-- need to step back bc I keep seeing y'all look at cultural relationship patterns beyond and from before your contemporary culture and all you draw from it is an individualistic liberty of identity. And not to shame but that's the big fucking shadow torturing the community IMO. Like others have said, being gay or trans or whatever doesn't actually absolve you of being part of a contemporary colonial culture, that takes actual work to examine and shift from.

I'm tired of how y'all cherry pick that such and such African tribes had Woman Husbands with multiple wives or that such and such Polynesian culture had open relationships and thats fucking ALL YOU FUCKING TAKE. It's really hard not to get mad. Not because 'boo you're wrong' but that ONCE AGAIN Y'ALL SEE WHAT YOU WANT AND NOTHING MORE.

This was also one of my issues when a few years back everyone wanted to rant and rave about how having free sex and/or multiple partners was gonna revolutionize society.

DID IT?? DID IT??

This is very much like when privileged white ppl in the 60s-70s, exhausted by war, were very ready to adopt cheapened eastern philosophies and their conceptualization around 'transformative' love and sex was just like...orgies and irresponsibility.

Anyway point being that in many cases, wherever you find societies that were based on these various forms of plural relationship that also very very much included shared-responsibility/economic connection driven relationships. Someone's 'wife' could very well have been a co-mother or business partner and NOT her lover. Many times.

To go back to what I was talking about before, I'm fucking hitting snooze on the shit y'all think is so revolutionary until it stops being about you and your fucking desires. Personal wants, needs and desires are important to tend to but it's the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM of building a society.

Please understand that just because you KNOW that your current culture is hyperindividualistic and maybe even hypersexualised doesn't mean you actually have worked out the many ways that's affecting your perspective. It's like with decolonial thought-- you don't just get to say "I've decolonized" without doing years of ongoing fucking work.

I've said it before but a lot of the LGBT/Alt sexuality scene is bound by a very limiting perspective where all you can see or conceptualize is an identity that is self-referential. All you can really center is the pendulum swing away from the shitty right wing sex negativity of your forebears. And I get it too bc when you're not allowed to be who you are from young, you end up having to go through that phase when you're older. But this is why we have ppl in their 20s & 30s and beyond who have very little in the way of community mindset and really only see being 'queer' as a space to self validate sexual exploration and 'I get to do what I want!' personal expression.

Again, not bad, but very very elementary and we're at a point in society where we DESPERATELY need people to value community structure over just like...moving through life thinking that being able to fuck whomever is attractive to you is wow so important.

[kaijutegu]

Beating the Heat while Fat: Applying Sunscreen on a Fat Body

Hi everyone! It's Fat Friend Summer here in the USA again, the time of year where even if you love your fat body or feel completely neutral about it, you have to admit that it is a complete pain in the ass sometimes because it is hot out here.

I've written a lot about being fat and hot before (I mean temperature hot, not like, aesthetically hot), including:

Beating the Heat while Fat

Skin Folds

Slipshort Review (for preventing chub rub)

Now, I'd like to talk about sunscreen. Please note that this post is written from a USAmerican perspective using USAmerican resources (mostly), so product availability and public health guidance might be different where you are!

First, everybody needs sunscreen. I don't care how much melanin you make, the sun is a deadly laser and you need to protect your skin from it. There are several types of sunscreen out there- I prefer mineral sunscreen because I don't mind the white cast, but you know what's best for you and what doesn't irritate your skin. I'm not going to go into the how and why everybody needs sunscreen- instead, I'll leave you with some links that should convince you.

American Academy of Dermatology's FAQs about sunscreen

FDA page on sunscreen

Skincancer.org's info on sunscreen

Instead, what I'm here to talk about today is the special considerations that fat bodies need when it comes to sunscreen. There is nothing wrong with having a fat body. There is nothing wrong with being fat and going outside. You have just as much right as a thin-bodied person to show as much or as little skin as you want. Your sun exposure should be about your comfort and nothing else. And just like any other body, fat bodies deserve to be nurtured and cared for, and that means you need sunscreen.

But there are a few things that fat bodies do that require a little extra attention on the sunscreen front!

The Emotional Impact of Being Fat and Needing Sunscreen

Did you know that fat bodies may be more likely to get a sunburn than thin bodies? Yet research shows that when you control for factors other than subcutaneous fat, people with less subcutaneous fat are likely to experience a more severe sunburn than people with more. In another study that looked at risk factors, basically everybody other than people who avoid the sun are at risk of sunburn. Even sunscreen use was an associated factor, which- ok, most of us are using sunscreen wrong. Point is, it's not the fat that makes fat people more prone to sunburn; it's other factors, and we can control some of those! Like how we apply sunscreen!

And... that can be hard.

Emotionally, being fat in summer is often not easy. There's a lot of complex feelings and insecurities that often crop up, even in the people who are the most confident about their bodies. It can be a lot to be perceived! Sometimes you don't want to ask for help. Sometimes the thought of someone else touching your skin feels like the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you need to put on sunscreen and you're by yourself to begin with.

But if there's parts of you that you can't reach with your own hands, you shouldn't feel bad because there is no moral value to having a human body of any shape- everybody has skin. Everybody needs to protect their skin. Even thin people can't necessarily reach their own backs. Putting on sunscreen shouldn't feel embarrassing; it should feel completely neutral, because it's simply protection from the sun. If you're feeling distress or resistance, reframing it as something you're doing to take care of yourself can help. So can reframing it as "I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this to thwart the sun (or something equally silly)." The second you bring silliness into it, the easier it becomes to take it less seriously and minimize the distress's power over you.

Application Tools

You have lots of options for getting sunscreen on yourself! Each of these does require a different range of mobility, so think about what you can and can't do with your arms when you're thinking about one of these.

Stick Lotion Applicator: This applicator has a spongy pad on the end of it. You put the lotion on and use it to get areas you can't reach. You have to be careful with even coverage and use a little more sunscreen than you think you need.

Spatula Lotion Applicator: This is basically just a silicone spatula with a long handle that you use to get lotion on your back. You might need to work a little harder with this one to get the sunscreen to rub in, but you'll have a lot of control over the location with this one.

Strap Lotion Applicator: Using one hand on each handle, this applicator is good at quickly covering large areas. However, it can be a little more challenging to get even coverage, so make sure you get everywhere.

Paint Roller Lotion Applicator: My favorite kind of applicator, this device gives you really even, complete coverage. Just make sure to wash it off between uses because the roller pad can get gummy if you don't rinse it.

I've linked examples on Amazon because that was both easy and convenient, but you can almost certainly find an applicator that works for you at a big box store or any drugstore or pharmacy. Many of these have extendable or curved handles that make it easy to get to those hard-to-reach places, and the even coverage means that you're not going to have streaky burned patches on your back or other areas.

Another application style people often use is spray sunscreen. I use this stuff too, but never for my base coat; I like to use a cream so that I can see that I got everything. I do like to top up with the spray instead of paint-rollering myself every single time I need to reapply. However, some people are sensitive to aerosols and the scent of spray sunscreen, and if you have sensitive skin, it might not be your favorite. Spray sunscreen may also be banned in certain areas for environmental reasons, depending on what kind of sunscreen it is and what's in it.

Also, because almost nobody seems to remember it: You have to rub the spray sunscreen in for it to be effective. If it just sits there on top of your skin where you left it, you run the risk of uneven coverage... and thereby, sunburns!

Coverage

Fat bodies have more surface area than thin ones, and it's easy to forget that every part of you needs coverage! (At least, every part of you that's exposed.) Body size is a risk factor for not using enough sunscreen, especially on the face, so make sure that you use it often and liberally!

According to the American Academy of Dermatology, it's expected that an adult should use about 1 ounce of sunscreen- a shot glass full. But guess who this data is for? Not us, that's for sure! Like many other doses based on body size, it seems that the sunscreen dosage is based on the idea of the Reference Man, a fictional guy who weighs 70 kilograms (154 pounds) and is five foot seven. If you're not built like him, almost anything dosed based on body size is going to be flawed for you. Fortunately, Sarah Rose Yalowitz over at SELF has gone into the numbers and come up with a better explanation of how much to use based on body surface area calculations. I'm not going to repost the whole article here, but you should read it because it's very interesting how these numbers were derived.

(If this is hard to read, height/weight/amount of sunscreen are in the alt text.)

If you're using stick or spray this doesn't work, but if you're using liquid/cream/gel/whatever, it's a good place to start. Also those are shot glasses in the image, not full-sized glasses.

Here's some things to remember as you apply sunscreen on each of your body zones.

Head: Using a facial sunscreen (you can use regular sunscreen if you want but if you have sensitive skin you should definitely use facial), cover all exposed skin. Make sure to get behind your ears and the back of your neck by your hairline. And don't forget your lips- you should use a lip balm with SPF for that, though.

Neck and Chest: If you have neck rolls or a hump of adipose tissue on the back of your neck, make sure that your sunscreen covers any crevices there.

Arms: Make sure that when you're doing your shoulder, you get the whole thing. Don't ignore any skin folds and make sure you get the back of the joint where your shoulder forms the armpit.

Legs: Some people don't put sunscreen on their legs. I'm not one of those people. Get the tops of your feet too, and it's not a bad idea to have foot protection that covers the whole foot if you're in a lake or ocean. Fat can make it difficult to reach your feet and if you get cut in the water, it can get infected pretty quickly. So if you're wearing water shoes, you can probably skip the tops of your feet.

Chest and Belly: If you have skin folds that will be exposed in your bathing outfit, make sure you get the underside of those as well as the tops. Even if you think they won't see the sun, they might! And then you'll end up with a sunburn that's going to be extremely uncomfortable and extremely challenging to heal.

Heat and Sunburn are Not The Same Thing

Have you ever said "I can't believe I got a sunburn, it wasn't that hot out!" Because I know I have. I bet most of us have at some point. But the reality is that while it's often hotter when the sun's rays are most intense, you can still get a sunburn on a cool day. You can even get a sunburn on an overcast day; 90% of the sun's UV radiation can make it through cloud cover. Before you go outside, look up the UV index (or your country's equivalent) for your location. If it's over 3, it can cause damage to some skin types. If it's 6 or higher, everyone should be wearing sunscreen. If it hits 11, why are you going outside? Stop that. Go back in the house. Even if you have a tan, you can burn in 5 minutes if the UV index is 11. Even if you produce the most melanin of any human being who's ever lived, a UV index of 11+ will hurt you.

Reapplication

No sunscreen lasts forever, and even if you're not swimming, you're sweating. And the more body fat you have, the more you sweat- you have more surface area (meaning more room for sweat glands) and a better-insulated body (meaning you retain heat better), so when you're exposed to heat, the body's natural evaporative cooling systems kicks into overdrive. You sweat. It's part of life.

But it's also a part of life that makes your sunscreen wear off faster. So you might need to reapply more frequently, especially on a really hot day! I personally like to apply a mineral base coat before I go out in the sun, then top up with spray every so often (depending on heat, intensity of the sun, am I wearing a giant hat, etc.) and reapply my mineral after I get out of the water.

In many cases, if you're just hanging out dry, it's said to reapply sunscreen every two hours. I usually do it more frequently than that though, just because I have the kind of skin that is less "fair" and more "pallid." Make sure when you reapply that you've patted yourself dry and give the new sunscreen a few minutes to soak into your skin before you hop back in the water. This goes for everyone, no matter their body size. Just because you put it on in the morning, that doesn't mean it's still effective six hours later!

TL;DR

This is a lot, right? Here's the quick list of stuff you need to remember about sunscreen.

Everyone needs sunscreen, regardless of skin tone or body size.

Fat bodies deserve sun protection.

Fat people are not inherently more prone to sunburn, but applying can be a bitch and a half for a lot of reasons. It's ok if you think it sucks! You still gotta do it, but you're allowed to think it sucks.

Application tools help with hard-to-reach spots and accommodate different mobility levels.

Spray sunscreen is convenient for reapplication, but don't forget to rub it in!

1 ounce (a shot glass) of sunscreen is a minimum, based on outdated body metrics; larger bodies need more.

Be thorough in applying sunscreen to all exposed areas, including your skin folds if they're gonna see the sun!

Heat and sunburn are not the same thing and you can get sunburned even when it's cool out.

Sweating impacts sunscreen longevity, so reapply frequently because you are going to sweat that's just how it works. Unless you have anhidrosis, in which case you won't.

Always dry off before reapplying, and let sunscreen absorb before going back into the water. Otherwise you're basically just washing it off.

Now go have fun outside or stay inside, whatever it is you wanna do, but just don't go getting a sunburn!

[tennisdadsaficionado]

Maybe some younger, just-starting-out tween writers are cool with that, but old curmudgeonly ones look at such stuff as a waste of time

Speaking as another old, curmudgeonly, author who's been posting fanfiction online for approximately 28 years:

FUCK THAT

I will absolutely accept a smiley face. Or a heart emoji. Or... anything else a reader wants to leave. Do I like nice comments, do I like a 'loved this', do I like a kudos? oh hell yes! Do I love 'people who come into my askboxe to talk about my fic' ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. (and please do, I love talking about fic! I will talk your ear off!)

Do you know what else I love? People clicking on my fic and reading it. I appreciate any and all comments but y'all I'm doing this for free, it's my hobby, writing has been my hobby for over 3 decades. I write because I don't know how to not write. I'm still stunned people read my shit - and that they then take the time to let me know in a way that works for them that they read and enjoyed my fic? STILL MINDBLOWING.

Thing is: leaving comments is hard. I know this as a person with low spoons and pretty severe social anxiety. I really struggle to do it. I recognise that online fandom is populated by a lot of people in that exact situation. And people who are busy. Or disabled. Or (as above noted) who don't have confidence in their fluency in write in English. Or a billion other reasons.

Feed the fic authors you love in a way that is accessible for you

Things Fic Writers Like:

nice comments on their fic, even if it’s just a smiley face or a “loved this!”

kudos on their fic

people who come into their askboxes to talk about their fic

photosets made for their fic

fic rec lists with their fic

fan art made for their fic

playlists made for their fic

[vampma]

baby fever — clark kent x fem (smut)

contains : post-mission sick clark :< major breeding kink, cockwarming, & submissive clark (my malewife), use of “mama” (i’m a sucker for it)

note : my cat came in for cuddles and told me in perfect italian to post this draft.. thank him

you don’t know why clark came home the way he did, but you acknowledged that he was different. he spent longer by your side—which wasn’t a bother—and kept his large hands around your stomach area a lot.

his true antics didn't start until the two of you got to bed. his first night back from a big save. you wanted to prep dinner, but he wouldn't allow it. clark got into some quick mindset of taking care of you more than he already did. he knew you were more than capable, but he egged it on until bedtime.

"so? i'm weird for wanting to take care of you?" he furrowed his brows and tugged his shirt off. the cool grey lifting off of his broad back was a sight you caught every single time with not a blink. he caught you this time and smirked before pulling the large cover off the bed and settling next to you.

you turned your body towards him, getting comfy in nothing but shorts. your hand grabbed onto the cover on your side to come up to your chest. "no, i never said you were weird. it's just different. we both agreed on the first date that i'm very independent."

he almost swooped in next to you and neared your face, "but what if you weren't?"

a smear of confusion plagued your face, "huh?"

your boyfriend closed next to you and grabbed ahold of your waist, "me doing more—"

"you get busy. i don't mind—"

he stopped you with a kiss. it wasn't like the small pecks he had given throughout the week, but a 'let me do this for you' kind of kiss. clark paused briefly and gathered your needy expression. he started it.

you got closer to him under the sheets and didn't wait to palm him through his boxers. a small whimper fell from his lips as his cock twitched slightly against your touch. clark bucked and tightened his hold on your hips, "please, baby. i wanna feel you." his plead was more than enough for you to pull down the shorts he was already fingering at.

"you want to do more, hm? help me out?"

he nodded close to frantically from stimulation and huffed heavily, "anything. for you, anything."

one of your legs swung up around his hip and neared the front of your bodies. he felt the heat between you get even hotter as you were up against him. you helped his boxers off quickly. a simple thrust would smear his precum on your lower stomach.

clark aligned himself with your pussy and slowly pushed in, feeling you raw and skin to skin. you moaned at the stretch you missed and kissed his lips hungrily, “talk to me more.”

he groaned lowly and gruffly spoke, “wanna fill you up.”

you took in his words easier than you took him. he slowly soaked his cock with every thrust; your boyfriend fluttered his lids open to look down at you, “let me cum inside.”

the awe covered any kind of concern on your face.

small and frantic nods was all you could give him. he mumbled about wanting to fuck you full and give you a baby.

“just want you to feel how much i love you, mama.”

your heart melted at the name and you held him closer, “clark, honey, i’m so close—”

he practically held you and fucked you, caressing your hair and pulling you into him for sloppy kisses. he started to twitch inside of you and spurt his cum as deep as he could.

cock deep in your tummy and ready to give him what he wants. he lowered and pressed his hand against your stomach, “gonna give you the best baby. make you the perfect mama.”

[thelazydetectivecat]

I became the mayor and the protector of this town as well as the ghost king. what do you even have to offer?

okay so I have an idea what if Amity park doesn't have a city spirit.

So everyone in Amity park already knows that Danny is phantom and they made sure that they have enough resources to fight ghost in case of emergency because having Danny being their only source of protection is not smart especially considering he's too young and basically a child soldier. The anti-acts have been repelled by Danny after much legal fighting and everyone is ready to move on out of Amity park.

Danny please now the ghost king and about to go to Gotham university with his daughter Ellie who got de-aged to her actual age and the city spirit is just suddenly born. She's a baby who took the form or a similar form to Danny. Danny adores this baby as soon as he saw her and decided to stay in Amity park and to become the mayor instead it's not like anyone's against him overthrowing Vlad.

So Sam and Tucker also stay because let's be honest there's no way they're letting their friend take care of their city spirit alone.

As soon as everyone finds out it becomes an annual celebration for Amity park they still have an information blackout but it's only for the rest of the world so how many park can be kept secret because they don't exactly feel safe with others especially with the justice League who has ignored their calls.

So Danny who overthrew Vlad and becomes mayor it starts renovating the town buying land and expanding it making it into a natural city but close enough that you would still recognize Amity park.

There are different types of buildings some are modern some are white and old the looking. every part of the city has a different aesthetic but buildings are not the only thing Danny does for the town.

He makes more hospitals , homeless shelters , soup kitchens , funds the police and fire fighter departments make sure there's a secure line for social workers and makes sure to make have apartments and houses at reasonable prices and affordable ones. funds orphanages for them to have better care for children makes laws for his town that protect children adults single woman children from abusive parents and it keeps on adding with every new situation.

With every new tourist that comes to Amity park they get amazed they read the NDA about not talking about ghost and keeping Amity park a secret and after reading the NDA they realize it's not much of a big deal so basically more people come into Amity park and ghosts and humans coexist peacefully.

Danny is managing both Amity park and the infinite realms and at this point Amity park is considered a part of the infinite realms or at least the in between like Danny so sometimes meetings in negotiations happen in Amity.

Everyone who lives in Amity park is pretty happy with their life and are more than willing to keep it a secret from others. Since when it comes to terms of accidents and crime rates it's not that high.

Meanwhile with Danny he's taking care of both his daughters while handling everything. Sam has a job of opening and listening to suggestions as well as making sure the greenery in Amity park is vibrant making sure justice is served. Tucker is in the coding department making sure security is up as well as making apps that help the people of Amity park and people from different cultures coming in.

Jack and Maddie are spoiling their grandchildren rotten with gadgets and toys and jazz is in Gotham university desperately waiting for winter break to meet her new niece.

So when someone from the justice League has amnesia and find Amity park to which they take them in (maybe it's one of the younger heroes since they're usually pretty caring to them and don't blame them for the actions of their mentors)

For now I'm going with Tim and he stays there for about a year and ends up dating Danny (they are the same age) when he slowly regains his memories and is questioning if he even wants to return (this is an alternative universe where the bats don't appreciate Tim and often take him from granted and often forget to include him in family activities)

He contacts Kon and his friends and telling them about Amity park after he got permission from Danny and they come visit.

One thing leads to another and sooner or later some of them decide to live there and some of them decide it's a good vacation spot they made sure to inform the justice League that Tim is not messing anymore and he had amnesia but he just doesn't want to go back.

So I imagine the only ones who know about Amity park now are young justice and maybe some magic users who helped Danny repel the anti-ecto acts

(someone please add on to this because I have zero ideas now)

[entertext]

HGSN 38-1

Chapter (Japanese)

(Please hit the green thumbs up at the end of the Japanese chapter to show support)

Rough translation by me

P1

Yoshiki: Ah!

(sfx: dash)

Yoshiki: Hey!

Yoshiki: Wait up!...

Yoshiki: ...

(sfx: freeze)

P2

P3

(Background repeats "Don't run away")

Yoshiki: (You said you would carry 'Hikaru''s sins)

Yoshiki: (How? You think you even could?)

Yoshiki: (Your ego is just this kind of thing in the end)

Yoshiki: ('Hikaru' already killed Matsuura-san)

Yoshiki: (It's fine if it's an old lady but not if it's a kid?)

Yoshiki: (You don't have any right to talk about the weight of a life)

P4

(sfx: awake)

(sfx: footsteps)

(sfx: machine hum)

P5

(sign: ... Pediatrics This Way→)

(sfx: hum)

Rie: ...Yoshiki-kun, you're awake

P6

Rie: After that, I realized the hole had been closed...and I hurried to find you

--

(sfx: startle)

Rie: It seems like things have settled down for the moment. I'll go take a look

Maki: Huh? Then I'll come too...

Rie: You have a broken arm, it's too dangerous!

P7

Mother: Luna! Please no!

Mother: Hey! Why!?

Mother: What happened? What is this...?!

Mother: Aaa...Luna...!

Mother: Aaaaa!

P8

(Rie: I'm sorry...!)

(Rie: Iori...)

Rie: ...!

--

Rie: ...

Rie: That little girl...

P9

(sfx: jolt)

Yoshiki: Ah...! Uh...uh...

Rie: Until just a little while ago, she was in a bad state, but for some reason, she suddenly stablized

Rie: She's alive

P10

Yoshiki: Thank goo-

Yoshiki: (So what? Just because she's alive doesn't make it okay)

Rie: I've closed the remaining small hole so the hole in Ashidori is gone for good

Rie: If it hadn't been closed...

Rie: there would have been a lot more victims eventually

P11

Rie: You've done a good thing

Rie: Listen, Tsujinaka-kun, you should head home for now

Rie: I've already called your mother. I asked for her contact info when I sent you home last time.

P12

Rie: Just now, I went to look at the sky...

Rie: There's only one ribbon now

Rie: There's probably only two remaining holes: the one in Kibougayama and the big one in Kubitachi

Rie: Although I don't know who closed the one in Udekari...(not that there's time to be concerned about that)

Rie: Tsujinaka-kun...do you remember the story about Darumazuka Tunnel?

Rie: Where a large number of torso bones were discovered... Kibougayama's paranormal hotspot.

P13

Rie: That's almost certainly where Kibougayama's hole is...'Hikaru'-kun and I will go close it.

Rie: So you don't have to keep pushing yourself, Tsujinaka-kun

Yoshiki: ...huh? Huh? ...Ah.

Yoshiki: 'Hikaru'...Where's 'Hikaru'?

Rie: Listen, Tsujinaka-kun

P14

Rie: That boy...

Rie: ...is not Hikaru-kun, no matter how you cut it

Yoshiki: I know that...

Rie: No! He isn't human. If you stay on this path, you won't be human any more...!!

Rie: You don't understand what it means to become "mixed up"...!!

P15

Rie: You have to live a normal life in the human world just like everyone else...!!

Rie: Do you know just how precious "normality" is...!!?

(sfx: comes to senses)

Rie: ...I'm sorry. I'll be on my way now

==

Extras: (link)

Rie: Oh me? I'm just a housewife, a normal housewife.

[goggles-varian]

Woahhh big paragraph... overwhelmed my eyes a little, hol' up.....

WOAHHHH!!! That is a LOT of hate for Feldspar! *laughs nervously* ANd yeah, I ...did that but, uh, I get why he and many other townspeople hated me, I mean, I would too if someone else had done what I'd done. I mean it-it's irrational and stupid and crazy and- and JUST what they'd expect from Quirin's crackhead kid.... well perhaps not to that extent, but you get the gist of it. He had a right to be mean BECAUSE me and the Saporians had him enslaved. It was the wrong thing to do and I'm glad that I've improved myself in his eyes. So, don't worry about him or hate him or whatever because we're fine, even if he is a bit, ah, untrusting of me, due to what happened. And no! Not his plant! He loves his plant! And-and it's not him, it's a whole other being, please understand that he realizes he shouldn't have been so hard on a kid, 16 years old or otherwise. ...And I'd be careful displaying your hatred so wide and openly and.... I dunno, not sugar-coated? See, he's coming over tonight to have dinner with me and my family so he can talk to my dad.... it's not best to be mean to a guest like Feldspar because you just KNOW he's going to be yelling out the gossip about the house tomorrow and we don't want:

"Varian's guests are just as rude as he was when he was younger! Honestly, I'm surprised Quirin let's them stay there!"

Or whatever other crap he has to say, okay? So, please don't strangle or poison him or anything?

[thebatdadnomad]

Re: Batkids Calling Bruce 'Dad'

"The Batkids wouldn't canonically call Bruce 'Dad' because they're not used to it" "They wouldn't call him 'Dad' because their relationships are much more complicated than that"

Alright, sure. Whatever. But imagine if they all started to regularly call him Dad, not exactly bc of sentimental value, but more so to disarm or mess with him?

On The Watchtower

Bruce: Now that I have informed you all of your roles in this mission, we must look over our various strategies. Once we have uncovered their base of operations, it is imperative that we— Dick, entering the meeting room: Hi everyone! Bruce, unhappy: Nightwing, you're lat— Dick: Hey Dad, I know. Sorry I'm late, there was just this thing Clark, waving: It's fine, Nightwing Hal: Yeah, don't sweat it, kid Diana: We are happy you managed to come at all Barry: I was almost late too Dick: *winks and grabs a chair* Bruce: Barry: Diana: Clark: Hal: Er Clark, smiling: Batman? Barry: You were saying? Bruce: Diana: Clark: Hal: Barry: Diana: My friend, do you need assistance? Clark: Batman, are you alright? Bruce, snapping out of it: Of course, I am Da— doing just fine. As I was...saying Dick: *stifles his laughter*

In The Cave

Tim, half listening: Oh, word? Jason, on his fifth monologue of the day: I don't think it's asking for too much for the police to do their jobs. Am I? Am I asking for too much, Timbo? Tim: Nope Bruce: *sighs* Jason, pacing: But they're STILL covering up Gotham's dirty work all the damn time and it makes me sick. You should see the stats of how many crime rings would've been discovered if it wasn't for GC-fucking-PD not throwing out their own trash Bruce: *shakes his head at the language* Tim: I made the stats Jason: Exactly! And I just don't understand why someone like DAAAAAAAD can just sit by and let this happen! Bruce: Bruce: Bruce, softly: ...me? Jason, overhearing: YES, you, who else?! Tim: It was pretty obvious he was talking about you, Dad Bruce: Jason: You should be ashamed! Bruce: Bruce: but Jason: ASHAMED! Don't you feel ASHAMED? Bruce: Bruce: yes Jason: Good

On A Grocery Run

Cashier: That'll be $37.90 Bruce: *pulls out wallet* Cass: *smiles, holding his other arm* Cashier: Aw, that's so— Wait, I'm sorry, what is your relationship...? Cass, to the cashier: It's fine, we don't look alike but this is my dad Bruce: Ye— Bruce: *looks at her* Cashier: Oh really? It's always nice to see family spending time together even after everyone's over 18. It can be hard to find the time but it's worth it Cass: Yes, I agree :D Bruce: Cashier, turning to him: $37.90, please sir Bruce: Bruce, clears his throat: Right Bruce: Here Cashier: Cashier: Sir, you can't press your whole wallet onto the card reader Bruce: Oh right Cass: Bruce: Cashier: Cashier: That is your business card Cass: *laughs under her breath*

In The Zoo

Damian: I am being reasonable Bruce: You aren't Damian, we've been over this. You currently have a dog, a cat, a turkey, a monkey, a cow, a dragon bat and now you want a what? Damian: *points at a twitching lion cub viciously scratching at the cage doors* Bruce, wincing: Son. That thing will eat us the moment we take it home Damian: She. Bruce: Pardon me? Damian: Tt. The lion cub is female. She is a lioness. Bruce: Apologies. That lioness will eat us the moment we take her home. She's now being raised in captivity, but we've ensured that the animals here are receiving the best treatment possible. We oversaw the hiring of half of this zoo's staff, didn't we? Why do you still want to take her home? Damian: She would make a fine addition to our household. Bruce: It is hardly legal to raise her out of— Damian: It is hardly legal to run around at night as a bat— Bruce: *slams a hand over his son's face* Bruce: Damian. Damian: *to himself* Fine. *removes the hand* Damian: Baba >:( Bruce: Bruce: Bruce: Stop that Damian: But Baba >:( Bruce: Bruce: Bruce: *sighs long sufferingly* Bruce: *to himself* I'm being used Damian: >:( Bruce: Fine

Later

Alfred, glaring at the lioness cub violently attempting to claw through her metal cage as if it killed her entire family line: I beg your pardon! Bruce, angry: He called me Baba! How could I say no? You weren't there, you don't understand! Alfred: *slowly turns his look to Bruce* Bruce, flinching: I'm sorry... Bruce: ...Dad Alfred: Bruce: Alfred: *holding back a smile* Alfred: Well, I never Bruce: :') Alfred: I appreciate your apology Alfred: Alfred: However *reaches for a broom* Bruce: *bolts*

[threadedtrinket]

Release the next part of the freeloading partner and my LIFE is YOURS 🥺😭

In all seriousness I am OBSESSED !! Thank you so much for writing this 💕 I will wait (im)patiently for the next part forever if need be 💕💕

Content Awareness: Post-emotional breakdown, mentions of previous toxic relationship and verbal abuse, Nightmare makes an appearance but it's well-intended - as always, please take care when reading if needed.

You can read the first part here, the second part here, and an extra segment from the household's perspective here!

You held the dateviators in one hand before you slumped to the floor and leaned on your bedframe for support – you didn't know how much time had passed since they turned off, but you didn't want to recharge them – at least, not yet.

You couldn't remember the last time you cried in front of someone, anyone, but then Skylar asked if you were okay before your whole bedroom started speaking up, their eyes filled with worry and concern that were all for you.

But despite everything they said, all you could think about was what your ex said before they packed their things and when they walked out.

"You can't even cook or clean for shit–"

"Your personality, it's really lacking–"

"–I don't know what I ever saw in you."

You hadn't cried that much in a long time either, not even when your ex near-screamed at you – but now your eyes were swelling up, and your chest was aching from when you tried to breathe while simultaneously sob.

The wooden floorboards and the wool rug brought you to the present as you looked back to the dateviators in your hand. You couldn't bring yourself to leave Skylar with an empty battery, but you also didn't want to speak to anyone about what happened.

In the end, you leave her charging on the nightstand as you slept on-top of the bed, your eyes slowly drifting closed before the pillows and blankets shuffled closer to give you warmth and comfort.

That night, you dream about the day the Valdivian drone broke through the front door's transom and placed a box in front of you – the exact same box that contained the dateviators. You slowly picked the box up and inspected it before-

"You didn't have to get that, I was planning to get it when I was done with my new cover letter."

Your heart went still when you turned to see your ex standing behind you.

"What? When did you– Why are you here–?"

"That package, I ordered something last night. I paid extra for the next-day delivery service."

They raise an eyebrow and hold their hand  out expectantly before you take a step back, the box slightly shaking in your grasp.

"No, you– you're not supposed to be here, I made you leave, these aren't yours–"

"What are you talking about? The most you get delivered to the house is groceries and utilities bills."

Your ex simply rolls their eyes and makes a grabbing motion with their hand before stepping closer.

"But I got a message– the hacker, they said that they were sending this to me–"

"It's definitely my external CPU, I bought it for my laptop for–"

"These don't belong to you!"

Your voice echoes through the hall and throughout the entire house.

"You don't live here anymore, these were given to me when you left!"

Your ex's eyes widen in response, their eyebrows furrowing as they open their mouth to shout back, but you step forward.

"I should've never let you move in, you didn't really love me or care about me – all you thought about was yourself! I wasn't your partner, I was nothing but a roof over your head that let you eat, sleep and shower whenever you felt like it!"

You held the box close to you as tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.

"This box, the dateviators – they've shown me that I'm surrounded by people who love and care about me!"

"...Then why haven't you let them?"

Your ex's voice shifts and becomes unrecognisable, their eyes turning blank and their smile becoming distorted as they become something that resembles a solid black silhouette.

"Ever since you wore those things and learned of the household's existence, you've done everything you can to make sure they're loved and cared for  – but when they try to do the same for you, you turn them away – why is that?"

You look down at your hands, the box nowhere to be found before you looked back at the silhouette.

"I don't know, I didn't–"

"Do you think they'll treat you the same way your previous partner did?"

"No! No, they'd never do the things my ex did to me, but..."

You turn to the front door, the broken transom now fixed as you stared at your reflection in the glass.

"...I don't deserve it," your voice breaks. "I don't deserve their love and care when they've had to deal with everything that happened between me and my ex."

You closed your eyes and leaned on the door to suppress the oncoming tears.

"Dorian has been kicked so many times that some of his door frames are damaged, Daisuke constantly finds new chips and bits of rust, Clarence still has hard stains that I can't get out– I still need to make things right, for all of them–"

Before you could go on, you're interrupted by the silhouette's sadistic laugh.

"And how long will it take to fix everything before you're satisfied? Another week? Another month? How long will you continue to push them all away?"

"What? No, that's not– I'm not–"

You raise your head before you realise that you're standing outside the house, but when you try to go back inside, the front door refuses to open.

"No–! Dorian, please open up–!"

You step back and try to head to the back door, but the entire house slowly gives way to darkness.

"Wait, no, don't go–!"

When you reach out towards the front door one last time, you wake up to your hand outstretched towards the ceiling – tears lingering in your swollen eyes.

[seungkw1]

107 missed texts — bsk

♡ pairing: boo seungkwan x afab!reader ♡ theme: smut [18+ mdni], pwp ♡ wc: 1.7k ♡ warnings: bigdick!seungkwan, mutual masturbation, alcohol consumption, sexting, nipple play, cum eating, bit of dirty talk, whimpering (obviously), seungkwan hand appreciation pt. 293579234, seungkwan is a mega simp, lil fluff ending, petnames (baby girl, pretty girl / kwannie, good boy) ♡ a/n: this is all @haologram’s fault. ty for the inspiration bestie <3

Seungkwan has a boner that can only be fixed by a steamy facetime call with you.

Your phone died a few hours ago. It was girls’ night and you didn't think to pack your charger, but you and your besties were out barhopping, so you wouldn't have had anywhere to plug it in anyways. You stumble into your bedroom — not terribly drunk at this point, just a bit tipsy still — and plug in the device. You were expecting a handful of missed notifications, but the screen flashes as a string of texts pop up in rapid succession. Opening your messages app, you find 107 unread texts from Seungkwan.

They start out innocuous:

10:54pm hi babe hope you're having a great night just wanted to say hi and i love you stay safe and text me when u get home ❤️

Nothing out of the ordinary, he always texts you pretty regularly throughout the day. But then the messages start getting more frequent — and a bit silly.

11:11pm make a wish~ i'm wishing for you 😘 i know it's only been a few days but i miss u 11:15pm did you know otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't float away from each other? isn't that so cute? that’s us hehe

He texted you in bursts, with only a few minutes in between each set of messages. As if he couldn't stop thinking about you.

11:28pm i can't stop thinking about you you're so pretty wanna kiss u

The further you scroll, the more suggestive the messages start to get.

11:45pm baaaaabe send me a selfie wanna see how cute u look bonus points if your boobs are in it 11:53pm can you send me a pic of your boobs 🥺 ik you're out rn but if you happen to have an old one pls 👉👈 12:01pm nvm i found some :) but i meannnn i wouldn't mind another ;)

Several more cute animal facts follow, up until about 10 minutes ago when he dropped the facade and started being straight up horny.

12:33pm fuck i miss you you're so hot i'm ngl i had a few beers and now im just staring at ur nudes god i wish i was eating you out rn ur perfect lmk when u get home i need u baby pls text me back my dick is so hard rn

Grinning, you start typing a reply, but he responds before you can even send the text.

12:44pm oh thank god r u home can i call u

Before you can write the word yes he is already facetiming you.

“Hiiiii,” you say with a giggle as you answer the call.

“You're home right? Alone?”

He looks nearly frazzled, hair unkempt and cheeks tinged pink as if he just ran a few miles. The glaring redness of his ears gives away his inebriated state.

“Yep,” you answer as you plop onto your bed.

“Okay good.”

He tilts the camera downward, showing you the thick bulge in his sweatpants.

“I'm so fucking horny right now.”

“Yeah, I guessed that much,” you grin.

He cups his hand around his bulge, groaning at the slightest pressure.

“Touch yourself for me,” he begs. “I wanna watch you cum. Please.”

The desperation in his voice makes your core ache. You raise the phone in your hand, angling the camera to show your body. The low-cut crop top you wore out shows off your boobs nicely; you grab one breast and caress it, causing Seungkwan to let out a low hum.

"Take your shirt off, baby," he pleads, stroking his cock slowly through the fabric.

"Patience, love," you coo at him. "What's the rush?" you add teasingly.

He lets out a laugh, accompanied by an eye roll. "The rush is that I've been trying not to nut in my pants all night, that's what."

"Aww you were waiting for me, such a good boy."

"Fuck," he growls, clenching his jaw. "Don't tell me that, are you trying to kill me?"

You smirk, blowing a kiss at the camera. Slowly, you pull your top down, letting your breasts fall free. You play with your nipples, already perky from being turned on and hardening further at the exposure to the cool air.

"God, you're so hot," he tells you, practically drooling. "Hang on."

He sets his phone on the desk in front of him, positioning himself in the frame so you can see his face. He scoots the chair back slightly, showing you his clothed erection, looking even larger from this angle. Reaching into his pants, he groans as he wraps his hand around his girth and pulls his cock out — it's thick as ever, its length flourished with pretty veins, its head flush and leaking with precum. He gives himself a few slow strokes, making his eyelids flutter and a delicious moan escape his lips. He opens his eyes, fixing them on you again, gazing at you with uncontrollable lust as his large hand grasps his cock tightly. You slide your hand down to your lap, dragging your fingertips softly up your inner thigh and reaching underneath your skirt. You smile deviously as you bite your lip.

"Oh I'm so wet right now," you inform him smugly. His grip tightens even further, squeezing his cock as a shiny bead of precum dribbles down its side. If his face was pink before, it is now an angry shade of red, the slight sheen of his sweat making him glow. "Wanna see?"

"Please," he begs, his voice nearly cracking.

You lift the skirt's hem, the garment sliding up over your hips as you spread your legs, revealing your bare, glistening pussy. Seungkwan's eyes nearly pop out of his head.

"Oh my fucking god, were you not wearing any panties all night??"

"Nope," you reply proudly. He reaches across the desk for something — you hear the squirting sound of the lube bottle, then watch as he spreads the shiny liquid over his cock. His head falls back against the chair as he starts pumping his fist up and down his length.

"God," he groans. "I'm glad you didn't tell me that, I would've shown up at the bar and fucked you in the bathroom right then and there."

Beaming at him, and quite pleased with yourself, you glide two of your fingers over your cunt, letting out a soft moan as they brush your sensitive clit. You collect the pooling juices on your fingers and lift them to your mouth, licking them clean — prompting Seungkwan to let out a string of pathetic noises.

"Fuck, that's hot," he says through gritted teeth.

With a smirk you spit on your fingertips and lower your hand again, adding the additional wetness to your already-soaked folds. You begin to play with your clit, tracing gentle circles around the bud, but it's already throbbing relentlessly. A firey ache burns through your gut as you watch Seungkwan stroke himself — faster now, as he urgently seeks relief from several hours of being painfully hard.

"I wish you were here Kwannie," you croon at him, slowly sliding your fingers into your cunt. It feels good, but not as good as when he does it. "Want your pretty hands inside me."

"You like when I fuck you with my fingers, don't you baby girl?" His voice is breathy, shaking slightly as his hand rises and falls in his lap.

"Yeah," you respond earnestly, your voice equally quivering. "They're so long and big and pretty, fills me up so good…"

Your words trail off, replaced with blissful moans as you return to your clit. Your fingertips work quickly, flicking across the bundle of nerves as juices drip from your hole. You stare at Seungkwan through the screen, wriggling in his chair as he grows unbearably horny — he licks his lips as he stares back, eyes glazed over as his climax nears.

"I'm so close," he moans. His hand flies up and down his length, mouth slightly ajar as he whimpers. The sound is so pitiful, so pathetic — your toes curl as the burning in your gut swells.

"I'm gonna cum," you whine.

"Cum for me, pretty girl."

You cry out as an electric current surges through you, your entire body trembling with waves of pleasure. You ride out your orgasm, forcing your eyes open so you can maintain eye contact through the screen. Seungkwan gawks at you, not knowing where to look: your pretty, opened mouth with your quivering lips; your supple breasts bouncing perfectly as your body shakes; your perfect, soaked pussy as it pulses; all of you — so perfect.

"Oh fuuuuck," Seungkwan groans. His eyes roll back into his head as he cums with you, gasping as thick white ropes shoot into the air. He grasps his cock in his fist as his hand stills, squeezing tight as it pulses with each release. His chest rises with heavy breaths as he finishes, his eyes still fixated on you as cum drips down his length and all over his hand. He brings his fingers up to his lips, licking the spilt cum off his knuckles and swallowing it, before dropping his arm again and sinking into the chair in his relaxed state.

"I love you," he mumbles, a lazy, blissed-out grin plastered on his face. You giggle, the rush of euphoria still making your head spin in the best way.

"Hey!" he exclaims. "Don't laugh!"

"I'm not! You're just so cute," you smile as you stare at him lovingly, eyelids growing heavy as sleepiness washes over you. "I love you too."

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asks suddenly.

"Nothing, why?"

"Great, I'm going to come over and fuck you all day," he announces matter-of-factly, making you burst out laughing. He gives you a sheepish look.

"If that's okay with you," he adds.

"Of course, silly," you grin. A yawn overtakes you; you roll over onto your side and get comfy.

"Perfect," Seungkwan replies, his soft doe eyes gazing at you affectionately. "Get some sleep babe. I'll see you first thing tomorrow."

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