#please revise or try another method

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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[unnerving-presence]

Hi, i just read the coochie unhooking and im in love omg 🥲💕 could we have another part with the huntress, pyra and a third one of your choice? Thank you, you're the best 👀💕

GAGAGAGGH YESSSS I LOVE THESE 😭 TARHOS HAS BEEN INFESTING MY BRAIN SO HE WILL BE THE LUCKY THIRD !!

ooc shit incoming this is literally abt them loving them thighs i do not gaf i tried to make them in character somewhat anyways hehe

could you tell i’m utterly obsessed w tarhos right now i wished i could’ve written more dear lord

i had already written this for huntress initially but i did want to revise it a bit to be more in character. still sort of experimenting with it all. enjoy though :)

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Anna:

Straight confusion and a.. little bit of panic? She’s never had her prey attempt something like what you did. It catches her so off guard she practically thrashes around as much as you do to get you off of her. She doesn’t like feeling so vulnerable and very much does not appreciate it when you manage to escape the hook and her alike. She can’t shake that ghostly feeling of your thighs around her. It’s like you’re still there. She can’t discern whether she likes the feeling or not.

You’re interesting prey, prey that she enjoys hunting. She mostly does it for necessity and to please the Entity, but she likes you. She likes that. She especially likes your drive to survive. It amuses her, makes her curious about you. Anna would be angry about the ordeal thinking about it, but it simply makes her intrigued now. She simply can’t brush aside the concept of your thighs around her. It was like a warm embrace she hadn’t felt since she was a child. She likes it.

She decides she will observe you more. Watch as you speak in a language she doesn’t understand and interact with those she sees as nothing more than human animals. You’re afraid, but you’re also determined. It’s cute. Perhaps she’ll conveniently place herself near the hook she puts you on next time, just to feel you fight to survive, just to feel those thighs around her again.

Pyramid Head:

Pyramid Head would have absolutely never expected this to happen.. ever? Considering his absolute fridge of a head he’s.. startled to say the least that you managed to both effectively wrap your thighs around him AND have enough leg strength to take him down AND unhook yourself. It doesn’t all come to mind at first but he’s definitely a bit aroused. Unfortunately, that is an emotion that fades quite quickly. He has a job to do, he would very much like to get back to that. If he could get back up from the ground from his big ass helmet holding him down 😭

Pyramid Head is simply indifferent about the situation. A tiny bit excited at the though, but would quickly move on. It would certainly stay in his mind if you had done it several times over though. Some part of him is glad he has this unbearable helmet over his head, he might have had a full system shutdown had your thighs gotten too close to his face, though your thighs being around him in the first place is more than enough to turn him on a bit, not that he acts on it of course. He prioritizes his role in this realm more than anything else.

Though he won’t pass up the opportunity to listen to your cries of pain if given the chance. They didn’t mean much to him before. But now he rather likes the sound. He’d even say he rather likes you more than anything else. Maybe he should stick extra close to you from now on. Perhaps you’ll try other suggestive methods of trying to escape him. Either way, it feeds into his desire to punish and his desire for you.

Tarhos Kovács:

Tarhos is trained for moments like this, when the enemy has the upper hand. He cut through hundreds of swordsmen far more experienced than you could ever wish to be. He wields his imposing claymore and knows he strikes fear into those that dare cross him. He is anything but one to be so easily defeated. It should’ve been impossible for him to be taken down by someone in such a pathetic position as yourself. It has to be the Entity’s assistance. It has to be. He can barely get himself together again before you dash up the stairs and out of his reach. He grumbles and pushes himself up off the ground, more determined than ever to put you in your place.

You don’t survive the trial, but it’s very clear you did something to him. He’s angry, but there’s some other emotion, like a smoldering fire that was once not even worth a passing glance had suddenly burst into a wildfire. It could be confused with bloodlust. He can barely tell the difference between the two until he sees you again by the campfire next to those worthless maggots. He watches only for a moment and in that moment he wants more. He wants more of whatever you did to him.

He will never come to terms with these feelings. He believes it’s your fault. Your existence shouldn’t even be welcomed in this place. You can so easily disrupt the balance of death, sacrifice, bloodshed. He wants nothing to do with you if you think you can deter him from his rightful privilege of endlessly butchering such peasants as yourself. He hates you more than he hates Vittorio, he thinks. Vittorio was an imbecile who thought he had the answers to peace. But you? God, you actually do something to him and you don’t even have to try.

[not-poignant]

Potentially an odd question, but is there a specific site or method you use for research for your writings? Researching medical/legal/similar procedures is the bane of my existence because I can never seem to find an explanation I understand well enough to then write about.

I recently caught up to Stain, and while reading it struck me how you put a lot of detail into a wide variety of topics (the medical part of Alex’s injury at the start, therapy, Alex’s eye examination, Sebastian talking about his boss trying to underpay him, among other topics) (HUGE kudos about that by the way, it adds another layer of realism) and it feels like there’s no way one person can have firsthand experience/knowledge in ALL these things unless you’ve lived an extremely varied life.

I was just hoping you might have some pointers about how to go about researching basically anything because I feel like I’ve GOT to be missing something.

No worries if you can’t/don’t want to/don’t have an answer, I just thought shooting an ask your way is worth a shot haha.

Hi anon,

Researching is its own skillset, like writing or editing, there's no one specific site to go to, to make it easier, it's more like...taking the time to learn the constellation of ever-changing sites, books, and more in order to best learn how to learn. Because that's really what it is about: Learning how to learn.

On learning how to learn (I should say, I'm not very good at teaching, so some of this stuff might not be helpful to you, please ignore it if it isn't!):

But I do have some things that I do which might help. And some that might not.

The first thing that won't really help is I have led a varied life in a way that is convenient for the content I write, lol. The medical part of Alex's injury - I've been badly injured. The eye examination - I have astigmatism and was diagnosed late and blamed for my own eyesight issues which I didn't realise were eyesight issues. I've seen over 19 therapists in over 25 years. I've talked to bosses about pay and I've had lots of friends that have too.

Tbh the things I've had to research the most in Stardew Valley have been:

The intersection of astigmatism/myopia/dyslexia treatment and the best order in which these things should happen.

Stardew Valley - literally the calendar, the schedule, liked gifts, disliked gifts, favourite meals etc. Some I know off by heart, others I don't really remember at all.

The best way to clean a house (though my mother was a professional cleaner for most of my childhood, I just wanted to revise and see if anything had changed since then)

Cleaning standards for home laboratories

The colours that sweetpea flowers come in etc.

It's always random stuff. And to be honest, a lot of this doesn't happen in much detail in the story. The colour of sweetpea flowers was for the bouquet, and I think it was one line. The best way to clean a house has accounted for very little actual writing.

Now for actual helpful stuff:

Wikipedia is your friend. My browser search bar goes straight to Wikipedia, not google. It's amazing how much Wikipedia will explain a ton of different things these days. It's true some concepts might be hard to understand, you might need to spend more time Wiki-ing / googling / using a dictionary to start understanding those concepts.

When it comes to writing trauma, for example, I've read upwards of 20+ academic books (i.e. the kind psychologists study at university or after university in postgrad) about trauma. I wouldn't expect other people to go that deep, but other folks aren't writing trauma like I am in every single story, and it's a special interest of mine. But it kind oh illustrates that I'm not going to a single site about something.

But you could get a deeper understanding by just looking at the PTSD and C-PTSD and trauma articles on Wikipedia, and slowly reading them.

The second is that medical sites can also be your friend.

The third is that Reddit is amazing for lived experiences, with a grain of salt that some people are lying for clout. But 'what treatments helped best with your dyslexia reddit' as a search phrase is going to be way more helpful than whatever AI bullshit the google search line will give you otherwise. Deep diving into reddit threads can be super helpful for stuff that I used to find out previously on personal blogs (it's amazing how much 'what's life on an oil rig like blog' used to turn up a ton of lived experiences from firsthand encounters for example). I don't use my Reddit account for anything other than research, lmao. It's a hidden gem for lived experience and human interpretation of complex issues. It can be especially helpful for legal / economic matters, but honestly, I mostly just handwave legal stuff with caveats/disclaimers. You can do an undergraduate degree in law, and a lawyer is still going to painstakingly point out all the ways you're wrong about something. It's just better to tell the lawyers in advance that you know you can't compete with their knowledge base lmao.

(Though it can be worth looking up regional differences, because if I see another Australian writing Australian legal procedures into US law (or vice versa) I will scream - like no, Aussies, we do not have BOLOs here, we have KL04, LOTBKF and BOLF depending on your state).

A good way to start learning how to learn is to actually start outside of your stories and start with things you already love. Plug your favourite movie into Wikipedia and learn about how it was made, or what the production was like. And when you find something mildly interesting, say, about film lighting, open up those Wiki articles or plug 'film lighting process for (insert movie here)' on google, and have a look at some of the results. Learn how to learn, how to go deeper, what seems to be helpful, and what isn't. Consider making a list of articles you really enjoy - I love a website that aggregates all the different odours and flavours in the world and their chemical compounds which has been incredibly helpful for Palmarosa. The website is a bit hard to navigate, but if you plug something like 'spearmint' into the search, it'll help.

If you don't already have it, put Wikipedia on your phone. It's free / ad-free. I have my own personal server on Discord that I use to house a lot of resources (for everything, from my business, to health records, to writing resources). If you use Discord already, I highly recommend the 'private server' as a great way to aggregate everything together.

If the article formatting of online articles doesn't feel good, you can do text-to-speech, or use the little 'reader' symbol to make it more reader-friendly.

Books are also not to be underestimated for how helpful they can be (I find too many people are website focused these days, but actually, not everything can be found on websites, a lot of the best niche knowledge is still in books when it's not in lived experience tellings). Find out about your local and online libraries. A lot of people (especially younger folks) don't realise just how much information they can get access to, for free. Librarians themselves are gifts from god, who will literally help you find the books you need for whatever subject you want to learn more about, and if they don't know, they will often personally take it upon themselves to look further for you. 'I want to learn more about German composers' is - for many librarians - a very exciting question that they will want to help you with.

Outside of that, niche websites (like the odours one I mentioned), sometimes just finding sites where asking research questions gets answered. For example the free blogging site (with no ads), Dreamwidth, has a community called little_details where you can ask your niche question and people will answer and say what their expertise is in that subject. It's incredible and active enough to be super helpful. In some cases it's completely changed the course of a story.

Over time you'll also learn what's less helpful. Some articles are clearly ChatGPT written or written for ads and not accurate - so if you can get the same information corroborated at multiple sources, that will help.

And don't forget the value of just listening to people online and irl regarding their experiences. As a writer, I feel like an 'experience collector.' I like asking friends, strangers, family, etc. all kinds of questions because I think a part of my brain is always aware that something they're sharing could be a vitally grounding element in a story and it's also just interesting and people like sharing about their lives. Whether I'm asking my roommate about the process of getting a government evaluation approved, my architect friend about drug use in Australian architecture, or a friend from Bali what sort of foods he grew up with and what his comfort meal was when he felt sick, etc. Writers collect experiences, not just their own, but those of others. The greatest tools a writer can have in their toolbelt are knowing how to listen, learning how to learn (and how to love learning), and knowing what the right questions are.

None of those things can be gained with one or two websites. But they can be gained with time and curiosity, and well, that helps with your whole entire life, and not just writing. :D

[brain-rot-central]

Sonnet of the Lone Cardinal, Ch 11

A/N: Hi I wrote way too much for the next chapter so I split it in two, lul. We get a little spicy in this one, but the big sex coming next ch I promise. It's already written; just have to revise!

As always, if you're still here, thank you so much. If you're new here, welcome to my hurt/comfort fic. Grab your tissues, your stuffies; whatever your emotional support method is. This fic is a ride. Happy to have you!

Rating: Explicit Word count: 4.4k Pairing: Ascended Astarion x Female Durge (named Tav, mortal) Warnings: 18+, sexy time, descriptions of gore, references to blood drinking, liiiiight love triangle inference, pregnancy, their relationship is a mess but they love one another. It's an AA fic; idk what else to say lmao Summary: After an evening of vulnerability, passion flare hot. An unexpected interruption leads to a disconcerting understanding. However, Astarion and Tav refuse to let this possible new revelation ruin their evening.

♥ Previous Chapter ♥ Next Chapter ♥ Link to Ao3

They’re barely past the threshold before Astarion swings them around. Tav’s back collides with the wall adjacent to the door with a hard thud; Astarion is on her seconds later. He wastes little time jamming a thigh between her legs, brushing his knee against her sex. A soft moan escapes her as she clings to his shoulders.

“Up–stairs– Astarion–” Tav struggles to say between short breaths. It’s a poor attempt at getting Astarion back on track. Beseeching him to return some caution to where it’s rapidly fading to the wind. Astarion's hand is then on her hip, encouraging her to rock back and forth on the expanse of his leg, his other hand wound tight within her hair. 

Soft whines pour like rich wine from her mouth when Astarion flexes his thigh, creating a rigid surface of friction. Sparks shoot from the apex of her thighs and throughout her core, nearly knocking the wind clean out of her lungs. Tav feels herself clench as her hips begin to rock of their own accord, chasing more and more of the salacious pressure between her thighs.

“I believe I'm having a change of heart,” he growls against her ear. The vampire lord then dips his head into the crook of Tav’s neck, kissing languidly over his mark. “How am I ever expected to deny temptation when it calls my name so sweetly?”

The hall is quiet enough that Tav can only assume dinner service is winding down. Her moans reverberate against the high ceilings of the marble hall, every tiny gasp amplified. The candelabras have burned down to a faint glow; the corner Astarion has pushed them into is thoroughly blanketed in shadow. They wouldn't be caught immediately, should someone walk by. Yet the risk still exists.

“We're exposed, Astarion,” argues Tav, grabbing handfuls of the vampire's hair. It’s a farce, more than anything else; the thought delights her more than she cares to admit. Astarion so desperate for her that he hoists her legs over his hips, pulls her smallclothes to the side and slides himself home, down to the hilt. Tav moans, loud and wanton, as she continues riding his thigh. 

She struggles to keep her eyes open as the edges of her vision draw closer together. From the corner of her eye, blinkling tiredly, Tav catches a glimpse of the painting hanging on the wall. The one she saw when first stepping food in this manor, of the vampire and his prey. The vampire’s lifeless expression bores into her soul–she takes in the woman draped over his lap. She ponders what possibly transpired prior to that moment, trying her best not to draw comparisons between her current position.

A foul chill passes through her.

“Is that so bad?” teases Astarion, drawing her back to the present. He sucks at the flesh of her throat. “I’m the Lord of this manor, and I say we can rut wherever we damned-well please,” he growls, pulling her roughly against him.

Her head swims as she clings to him, arousal saturating her thoughts. Tav would allow him to take her here, she realizes. To fuck her against the wall, in clear view of anyone who dared to look. She'd allow them a view of how loudly her body cries out for him, the beautiful melody they both sing when joined.

“Oh, but I suppose you make a good point, love,” Astarion coos. His hand drifts to the outside of Tav’s thigh and he grips it tight, lifting it over his hip. “But that would involve us parting from our current position.” He grinds himself unabashedly against her center. “Is that what you really want?”

Tav whimpers at the thought of him peeling away from her. Losing the feeling of his body against hers. Tracing the outline of her body with his hands. Lips on hers, her neck, her breasts–him being everywhere but nowhere all at once. It's too much–she needs him now. 

Desperately. 

Tav snakes a hand between them, fishing for the button of Astarion's slacks. “Now,” she says, undoing his fastenings with lightning deftness. Deftness that he taught her. “If you have the gall to tease me like this, then you better take me now.”

She watches as his lips curl into a devious smile, showing just the slightest glint of a fang. “With pleasure,” Astarion purrs.

Rat bastard.

His cock springs free as she pulls him free from his underclothes. The heavy weight of him within her palm sends a ripple of pleasure throughout her body, heat coursing through her core. Tav wastes little time wrapping her hand around his shaft, giving a few experimental pumps. She delights in how Astarion growls low in his throat, giving her the encouragement she needs to plant soft, soothing kisses against the vampire’s lips, teasing his bottom lip between her teeth. Astarion reciprocates with starving enthusiasm while pulling moan after moan from her and into his mouth. He swallows them all greedily, as though nothing could ever quench his thirst for this. For her.

Pre-fluid weeps from the bulbous tip, aiding in the glide of her hand over his cock. “Tell me to stop and I will,” Astarion groans against her mouth. His cock twitches in her hand as she runs her thumb over his frenulum. Their eyes meet, lust sitting heavy within their shared exchange. Tav only nods her head and groans as she shuffles her small clothes enough to allow him entrance. He glides easily as she positions him between her folds. The rumble that erupts from deep within Astarion’s chest tells her just how slick she is–how much he longs to slip within her tight heat. “Tavaria…” he whines against her ear, nearly breathless. His tip teases at her entrance and she catches it, the head finally slipping in, giving way to a delicious burning stretch, and then–

“Well, I see we've skipped dinner and gone straight for dessert!”

The voice pierces through them like a shard of ice, freezing them solid. Tav clings to Astarion's shoulders out of instinct, but she feels the vampire tense beneath her. He pulls himself free of her, Tav whining softly at the loss, and he sneers over his shoulder at their unwelcome audience. Tav’s skirts fall to the floor and she drops her leg from his hip, Astarion stuffing himself back within the confines of his slacks with nimble skill.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, Your Grace?” Astarion hisses through clenched teeth, fastening his pants.

The duke chuckles behind them and crosses his arms over his chest. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it’s in poor taste for the host to skip out during dinner service.” Wyll gives a wry smile, looking over Astarion’s shoulder. “Though, I clearly see why, now.”

“Oh? Did you miss me, darling?” A touch of sarcasm laces Astarion’s tone as he huffs a laugh, alongside impatience. “What is it you really want, Wyll?” Tav swears the tips of his fingers are sharpening into claws as he clenches his hands into tight fists. The turquoise gem of Astarion’s ring glints in the dim firelight of the hall.

“I'm searching for a certain soldier who possesses hair resembling a roaring campfire.” Wyll lifts his brow in question. “Have you seen her?”

Arousal still clouds her mind, though through the murkiness, Tav realizes that Wyll isn't immediately aware of her presence. She's unsure if that’s a good or bad thing–mostly because Wyll believes Astarion to have stolen away for a quick romp with some random person. Or, conversely, he doesn't believe Tav to be the type to allow herself to be taken in the middle of a dimly lit hallway. A sinking feeling overtakes her stomach with each thought.

Either way, neither theory bodes well for her.

Cautiously, with her heart nearly clamoring out of her throat, Tav pokes her head out from around Astarion's form. “I'm here, Your Grace,” she says, feeling the heat of the blush currently rising to her face. To her horror, Marceline, Oscar, and Lester stand behind Wyll, their eyebrows also raised in silent question. Gods above, she thinks, embarrassment flooding her. I really couldn't have waited a bit longer?

A few heartbeats of silence pass over them. Astarion scowls heavily as Wyll looks them over, turning now to meet the young duke. Wyll’s mouth opens and closes repeatedly, as though to say something, but no sound is ever produced. Oscar snickers, his cheeks still possessing the rosy color from his drinks earlier in the evening. Lester adverts his gaze, choosing to look over the decor along the walls. Respectful, as always. But it's the look Marceline gives her that tugs on Tav’s heart. 

The two women have never discussed Astarion, nor Tav’s past involvement with him. Tav only ever spoke openly with Shadowheart about him, her having laid witness to the romance unfold during its infancy. But perhaps Marceline had known, somehow, that this deeper part of her existed. Maybe in the way she carried herself, or how she avoided looking upon expressions of affection between others. Perhaps it was enough to tell Marceline, quietly, that her heart had been broken once before. Almost irreparably so, and given the well-known fact that Astarion was a prior traveling companion, Tav knows without a shadow of a doubt that her colleague is actively putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

How foolish she likely seems to Marceline, having allowed the man who wrecked her so thoroughly back into her life. To still give him so much power, so much sway over her heart. To be carrying his child. Though, that’s something none of them are aware of.

Yet. 

Tav lets out a heavy sigh. A wave of strong nausea rushes through her, prompting her to hold back the urge to empty her stomach onto the floor. Either that, or to perish within a moment’s notice. Anything to stop how mortified she feels at this moment.

“Ah,” Wyll muses, finally speaking. He clears his throat. “Well, I just wanted to wish you farewell.” His gaze shifts to Astarion, then back to Tav, mouth falling into a hard line. “I expect to see you tomorrow morning, bright and early.”

Tav nods softly. “Of course, Your Grace.” A barely audible sound rises from the back of Astarion's throat as she addresses Wyll, his nails nearly breaking skin as he tightens his fists.

Wyll gives a slight bow of his head. “Goodnight then, my friends,” he says in jest, “Don't stay up too late!”

As the entourage exits the manor through the foyer door, Tav realizes Wyll hadn't corrected her use of a formal greeting to him. She'd said it twice–twice–and he’d failed to invite her to use his name instead. Her stomach twists again.

The door clicks shut and Tav tears herself from Astarion's hold, drawing in a deep breath. “That wasn't good,” she says aloud, unsure if it's to herself or Astarion.

“Oh, please,” Astarion says from behind her, rather cooly given the situation, “he's upset because we're having the fun he only wishes he could have! I’m sure he'll get over it.”

Tav shakes her head, turning to face him. “I wouldn't be so sure about that, Astarion. This is different. He's…” She pauses as she chews at the inside of her mouth, thoughts flooding her mind. “He doesn't approve of us.”

The vampire laughs. “Of course he doesn't! So long as I’m involved,” Astarion places a hand over his chest, “I doubt he ever will.”

“Could have fooled me by tonight's performance. You looked a touch more friendly,” Tav says.

“What can I say? I know how to play the part of a dashing rogue all too well,” he answers, a lilt to his voice. Astarion then approaches her, lifting a hand to cup Tav’s chin. He lifts her face to meet his gaze. “But I can’t help but feel as though his disapproval bothers you,” Astarion ponders. His eyes are soft, contemplative, as he looks at her.

She sits with the thought for a minute before answering. “No, it doesn't bother me.” A half truth–she doesn’t need Wyll’s approval. “But it does concern me how I'm going to continue working with him as my superior.” She shakes her head as the questions rack her brain. “Will he continue to be fair, will he hold this against me, will he–”

“He's not going to do anything,” Astarion interrupts, gruffly. “Not to you, at least. He'll settle all of his grievances with me.”

Tav blinks as her mouth hangs agape. “You?” she asks. “But you're already working with him!”

“Indeed, but it seems as though our dear, sweet Wyllyam still possesses a few heartbeats that belong,” the hand on her chin lifts, Astarion tapping the tip of her nose gently with a finger, “to you.”

Tav rolls her eyes, turning away from him. “Oh, Astarion!” she laments, marching for the stairs. “He does not!” She clutches handfuls of her skirts as she begins her ascent. Astarion quickly follows behind her.

“Is it truly so hard to believe?” he calls after her in mock question.

Tav reaches the top of the stairs and whips around, glaring heavily at Astarion. He halts his approach, leaning a hand over the stair rail. “Were he to still possess feelings, Astarion, he would have used the time you and I spent apart to his advantage.” She tilts her head to one side and narrows her eyes. “Don't you think?”

The vampire scowls, mouth twisting into a hard line as he resumes following her up the stairs.. He stands tall over Tav upon reaching the top of the stairs. “No,” he growls, “I don't. Because the reality of the situation, my love, is that he was giving you space.”

She looks around, attempting to ascertain which direction Astarion’s bedroom is in. To the left is hers–she can only assume that it lay in the opposite direction. Her feet begin to carry her forward. “Space for what?” Tav inquires, slightly annoyed.

Before passing too far out of reach, Astarion extends a hand to grab her arm, halting her in place. “Tavaria…” His voice trails off into a whisper. “You don’t trust that I know longing when I see it?”

A heavy feeling settles within her chest, eyes drifting closed. 

Perhaps Astarion is right–maybe Wyll's kindness hasn’t been simply out of the goodness of his heart. She knew of the duke's prior feelings for her, assuming that he put them aside when she chose a path with Astarion. Her mind races through their interactions over the last few months, down to the most minute of gestures: all of the smiles, the kind words, the gentle touches.

Wyll is no stranger to her state of being after her separation from Astarion. She may have not spoken with him about how she felt, but he'd kept his eye on her. Watched patiently from afar, always making sure he was available should she need him. Wyll has been ever the gentleman; he’s never insulted her, nor raised his voice at her. Calm, cool, and collected under the most intense of pressure, always an ear open to her lead, her suggestions. Never giving her anything less than the respect he believes she deserves. 

But as Tav recalls their moments spent together, during their journey and beyond, she can now see so clearly the distinct gleam in his eyes when he holds her gaze. Hears the softness of his tone ringing in her ears, feel the ghost of his hand running delicately down the length of her arm…

A shiver runs down her back as she stares blankly at Astarion. 

As much as she hates to admit it, Astarion has a point. Wyll was allowing her time to heal. Giving her heart the space to repair itself, even if to only swoop in once patched back together. He’d never gotten over her. No, quite the opposite, really. Wyll had simply hardened his heart, choosing to bide his time. Waiting for Astarion to slip up, for their love affair to end with finality, all for a chance to play hero. And now that they’ve chosen to rekindle their flame, Wyll is forced once again to grin and bear it.

And she didn’t see it. Rather, didn’t believe herself worthy of his affections. They’d met during a strange time–Tav hardly recalled anything about who she was. She’d awoken in an Illithid dreadnought, newly tadpoled, learning she had all but a handful of days before death came to claim her for good. And when that didn’t happen, each day brought her closer to reclaiming her identity. But not without a few bloody missteps.

And then, there was Wyll. 

Precious Wyll–the son of Baldur Gate’s Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard. Bred and groomed to be the perfect aristocrat to assume his father’s title. Suave, polite; even his insults were kind, albeit backhanded. He is a stunning example of the type of man you bring home to your family for dinner. Perhaps not her family, but to just about anyone else’s. Why would he want to be tangled up with her? She craved blood, murder, gore. Death. She would sooner tear her hands through his abdomen, cracking open his ribcage, just to caress his spleen. To feel its curve along her fingertips. To remember the touch of the delicate blood vessels between her hands.

She would have killed him, all in the name of her Father. There’s no way to tell if she would have, but she’s sure she would have tried to on more than one occasion. Tav would have killed him and lain within the aftermath, sleeping as soundly as a newborn babe after a feeding.

She chose Astarion, in part, to spare Wyll that fate. She may have not realized it at the time, but she understands now. Astarion was already dead–she still craved to carve him from navel to neck, but she knew his heart was cold. The urge wasn’t as strong. Wyll was young, strong, and clean. Fresh. A perfect sacrifice for her Father.

Her heart sinks. 

The love she holds for Astarion can be compared to none other she’s known throughout any point in her life. But the acknowledgment that she gave up an opportunity to be with Wyll out of self-doubt…is crushing.

There is, of course, the chance that Astarion’s concerns are merely playing into paranoid delusion, as he’s so prone to doing. Tav sighs, turning to face Astarion once more. She gives him a sullen expression as tears begin stinging at the corners of her eyes. But despite her hopeful optimism, the longer the thought sits with her, the clearer the image becomes. Astarion threads his fingers between hers, pulling her closer. Sobs bubble up within her chest, threatening to rupture.

“Oh, my sweet little love,” he whispers, inviting her into his chest. He wraps his arms around her waist, resting his head against hers. “Do you now see what’s been clear to me this entire time?”

She still isn't entirely convinced, holding out the smallest bit of hope that this is all one giant fallacy, though the thought alone is enough to upset her. Tav shakes her head in disagreement. “I’m still not sure,” she says, voice wavering. Foolish as it may be, a small part of her still wishes that Wyll's kindness is of his own merit. That it isn't as Astarion claims, that he doesn't wish for something in return.

For once, she wishes someone was good–kind–because they simply wanted to be. Without expecting something in return. Astarion speaks through the lens of his past, she knows. From being forced into a life where what he could give stood as a basis for his worth for over 200 years. And she knows he speaks out of an abundance of caution for her, not wanting to see her go through any semblance of the life he knew. To protect her.

“I just…hope this is different,” Tav admits, quietly.

“Ever the optimist,” Astarion comments, peeling himself from her. The smile he gives her is disingenuous; more for her sake than his. The reds of his irises shine in the dim light of the upper level. The sharpness of his face softens from the shadows cast over it; his skin takes on an amber glow.

He truly is the most beautiful man she’s ever seen. Man, creature, fiend–it matters not to her what he is. It never really did. His beauty is simply an added benefit. All she’s ever cared for is his heart and soul, and his willingness to share both with her. The song he sings simply for her and no one else. She wonders if she, too, sings for him? She wonders if he can hear it. Do they sing a gentle harmony together, or are they a harsh clashing of contrasting pitches?

Tav raises a hand to hold the side of Astarion’s face. She settles her gaze on his lips, lifting to his eyes as she says, “I really don't wish for this to ruin our night.”

This time, he smiles earnestly. Astarion whisks Tav into his arms, earning a surprised yelp. She wraps her arms around his neck. “Then let us continue.”

Once she's sure she isn't going to slip from his hold, Tav allows herself to rest her head against his shoulder. The tip of her nose rests within the crook of his neck and she breathes in. It's not as strong as earlier in the evening, but his cologne still lingers. She allows her eyes to trace along the small glimpse of his collar bone, up to the scars embedded in his neck. Warmth spreads throughout her, knowing an artery lay beneath those marks–thick and plentiful with life sustaining blood.

Had she fangs, she would have supped upon him by now. A small taste, just to rejuvenate her. He'd allow it, she thinks. Why wouldn't he? Slowly she begins to lose herself to the fantasy. Swapping their blood and saliva between kisses, back and forth, until they solidified a flavor purely their own. One that none could ever replicate.

A part of her fears she may be slipping too far into him. Like a small frog in a pot of water, unaware that it’s begun to boil. But gods how she longs for this–to be so thoroughly his. For him to be so entirely hers. The sun could melt, the world plunged into eternal darkness, but none of it would matter so long as they're together.

Is she truly wrong for that? Is that not what she deserves?

Her lips find the smooth skin of Astarion's neck at the same time he leans over to open the bedroom door. A rumble of appreciation rises from his chest as he brings them both into the room, closing the door behind him. He brings her to his bed, placing her gently down on the silken duvet cover, climbing on top. Red, Tav notices from the corner of her eye. She’s resistant to relinquishing her hold on him, fearful that if she does this will all slip through her fingers. Astarion dips his head into where her neck and shoulder meet and sucks; a thin sheet of golden linen makes up the canopy draped above them.

“Astarion,” groans Tav, hooking her legs around the small of his back. She feels his hands traveling down her sides, pulling up her dress. All at once, the fabric feels too tight around her. “Help me out of this thing,” she says, more of a demand than a question, forcing herself up onto her elbows.

The vampire is silent as he complies with her urgent request. As his hands undo the zipper to her dress, his mouth lavishes attention to the other side of her neck. He peels the dress off her shoulders, Tav groaning in frustration at the brief loss of contact between them, but Astarion is quickly back on her. She pulls her slip gown over her head and pushes the emerald dress further down and over her hips, kicking it off her legs. Astarion nudges it off the side of the bed before reclaiming his place fully between her legs.

“You’ve no idea how many nights I’ve spent imaging this,” he grounds out as he travels down her chest. Tav falls back gently on the bed as smooth lips plant kisses between the valley of her breasts. He closes his mouth over the stiffened peak of one breast, kneading the other within his hand. “To have you here, like this.” He lightly rolls her nipple between his index finger and thumb. “With me.”

A moan slips past her lips as she arches into his touch and Tav dares herself to look down, just as Astarion bites the tender flesh of her breast. Not hard enough to draw blood, but she still can feel the familiar sting of his fangs over her skin. Pleasure shoots straight to her core. How could she ever go back to a mortal man after this? They could bite her, sure, but nothing would ever compare the rush of anticipation before each of his bites, knowing they may or may not pierce her skin. Leaving yet another mark on her body; a statement that it was she who nourished him.

Their eyes meet as he releases her breast from his mouth, tongue flicking over the hardened nub. There’s a blush set high on his cheeks again, eyelids heavy over pools of crimson. She lifts a hand to his cheek, brushing her thumb over his face. It’s warm in her palm, and Astarion turns his head into the touch, kissing the inside of her hand. Her thumb brushes briefly over the plushness of his lips, and she’s overcome by one of her strangest urges yet.

She needs him under her. More than she’s ever needed something in her life.

“I’m considered the Lady of this manor, yes?” Tav says urgently, the question coming out more as a statement.

Astarion lifts his head, brows pulling together as he ponders. He nods his head slowly in agreement. “I do recall saying as such, yes.”

Tav tilts her head, running a hand through his hair as she smiles. “Well, your Lady has a request, m’lord.” She speaks lovingly to him, thoroughly enjoying the wide-toothed grin he gives her in response. 

He chuckles; Tav catches a glimpse of white peaking just over his bottom lip. Astarion kisses her breast again as he says, “Oh? And how may I be of service, m’lady?”

She fills her lungs with uneven breaths, pushing herself up on her elbows again. Astarion pulls back to allow her room. Lightning races down her spine, but Tav manages to make eye contact as she states boldly, “I want you under me.”

[tmwcs]

Mermaids Tale FINALE!

It's here! so a quick note before you start reading, this originally had alot more to it and was going to be split into three finale parts (and eventually i will revise and do that) but i'm on a time crunch because i have to start preparing for school and there's so much work to be done (all the one shots and ofc HHP and TO) so i'm trying to get everything finished before i take a break to focus on classes and not leaving my wonderful readers dry with ongoing works, not to mention some family trips coming up is also going to take away my time from writing. This chapter is still good and has all the meat and potatoes, just...i wanted it to be way longer and add more to it. But alas! here's to another end of a great series (i really do love this series) sorry it's not proofread (i really wanted to but again...time is not on my side atm) I gotta get ready for TO and finish these one shots!

Warnings: Okay, seriously, this piece has some very extreme non/dub con content, so please please please if that stuff makes you uncomfortable in any way, do not read. As you all may know, yandere's have many methods in emotionally/mentally detaining their darlings, and sometimes (usually the westernized and more modern yandere traits) show yanderes physically altering/maiming their darlings from escaping (such as cutting off limbs) but i opt for the traditional yanderes that don't have any intentions of seriously hurting their darlings (not in that way) but they are still crazy and violate some aspects of human rights, non/dub con is the method they normally resort to in 'taming' their darlings and this chapter has that (a bit more strongly than what i've written thus far) so please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable. There are also mentions of murder, isolation, and kidnapping (you know...traditional yandere stuff) but i promise, regardless of what is mentioned, this is a good read. Please enjoy.

The two Adams engrossed themselves into a stare down, leaving you at a blind sight behind Heeseung while he stood as the blockade between you and the unfamiliar Adam. Their manner in communication became evident that the two knew each other, but how? 

“Move aside, Heeseung.”

Heeseung didn’t move. He stood steadfast as his jaw clenched, he wasn’t going to let anyone come near what was his.

“I said move, boy! Or else—“

“Or else what?”

The man scoffed out a semi defeated breath. “Feeling brave? Or are we just putting on a show for the oceanic Angel?”

“She’s not yours. She never was.” Heeseung smirked out as he crossed his arms. You remained cornered, confused as you gazed on Heeseung’s backside while the other Adam looked over in your direction. His eyes were dark and rather desperate, desperate for you. Meanwhile, Heeseung remained composed and entirely too confident in his demeanor, what did he have up in his sleeve that would allow him to be so poised and relaxed when another Adam was vying for your ownership? You hated the thought of it but let’s be honest, that’s exactly what was happening before your own eyes. 

“Tell you what grandson—“

Grandson?

“Let’s make a deal; you leave now, and I’ll give the entire rights to the corporation in your name. From there, you can have electric men under your thumb to search and scour every part of the world and bring back all the Sirens you want. You can have them all. Just leave this one with me, everything else will be yours. Deal?”

Heeseung remained with an everlasting smirk presently ingrained on his youthful face. “A deal, huh?” He calmly starts out with, seemingly considering what his so-called grandfather was pitching. Was he actually going to toss you off to this man? Why can’t they just leave you alone? You’ve done no harm to anyone, all you wanted, more than anything on this world, was to be free and swim off into the ocean. The waters your ancestors were born in, just a few hundred feet out from the beach rental you seemed to be stuck in. 

“I don’t make deals. At least not anymore.” Heeseung’s tone grew wild with fury, his eyes darken and all lustful glaze disappeared as the matte black coloring took over, igniting a demonic appeal. 

“What is wrong with you?! Are you fucking insane?! Heeseung!” His grandfather spat out of rage, completely dissatisfied with Heeseung’s tone. 

“Yeah…I am.” Heeseung calmly denotes as his dark chuckle continues to grow into a crazed laughter. “I am so fucking insane, you have no idea! Ah fuck…” biting down on his lowe lip, he slurps in the bit of drool that leaks out; his appearance became too menacing for you to handle, so you shoved your face into the corner of the wall and cradled your sight from looking much longer at his face. The tone of his words weren’t very pleasing, despite covering your ears, you picked up everything he said. 

With his arms still crossed, he elevates his hand, spreading his fingers violently as he buries his face into the palm, dragging it downward. He looked like a madman, so sadistically frightening as one eye peels through his knuckles. “I’m soooooo insane…because of her…I’ve thought of things that have never crossed my mind before. Because of her…I am willing to use my capabilities, not to help others, but to protect her instead—to keep her…ravish her…love her and thrust into her until she tastes every inch of me…to the point where she will someday share my level of insanity.”

What is he saying? You couldn’t believe your ears, this man has gone completely mad! You panicked as your body trembles, it was almost as if you had to root for the lesser of two evils, but you weren’t entirely sure which one of them was it. Was Heeseung’s grandfather? The man who looked dull compared to his grandson, who stood laughing maniacally, oozing out words that distinguished great mental distress for you. 

“SHE…will be the only thing I live for…I’ll die for her, kill for her, I’ll skin the entire world alive just only for her…..what a fucking idiot you are, for ever thinking that a handful of Sirens weee ever worth trading her in. You could promise me an entire ocean filled with them and I still wouldn’t ever give her up…she’s nothing like the rest….she’s nothing like I ever seen…and she’s all mine.” 

Heeseung turns to face you, at that moment you started to hyperventilate. His gaze was all too much, and you couldn’t bear the thought of what he had in mind to do to you. “All…fucking…mine…from the moment we first touched…” he takes his steps closer, you panicked. “Get away! Stop!” 

His voice remains calm and tender as he continues to pierce your personal space. “From the moment we shared voices at that karaoke bar…”

“Stop!”

“And from the moment…I saw your face when—“

His words came to a pause, or rather, it was all replaced by a loud groan of anguish and pain. You looked up to see the other Adam, his grandfather, standing off to the side with the lamp post in hand. He had struck his own descendant, yet the expression of his actions quickly made you realize that he too, was afraid of the repercussions. He’s never seen his own relative like this, despite being an Adam himself, he never once became the way Heeseung had. It was enough for him to gain courage, and for once, gaining the intention to help release you rather than just keeping you for yourself. Sure, there was generations of instinctive nature between Adams and Sirens; the former being the most dominant and yearning of two, and while Sun Juan felt it within his heartbeat to keep and touch you, he was nowhere malicious enough to develop murderous habits as his own grandson spoke of. “Run…” he tells you. Shaking as he arms himself with the lamp post, while Heeseung stumbles towards the wall, gripping onto his head. “I said fucking run! Do you want him to catch you?!” 

His voice was urgent, sending shivers to your spine as you quickly got up and exited the rental. Running through the hall, you leave behind a scuffling scene with the sound of masculine groans and shattered glass. As far as you were concerned, the two could fight it off and take their time with it, this was your chance to run…run to the sea. 

You burst through the front door, and climbed down the wooden stairway, making a rounded turn as you ran outside the frontal perimeter of the beach house. You reach the back end, and there over yonder, you could hear just as clearly as you could see, was the raging water calling your name. You shuffle off your sneakers, and stripped off your blouse as you ran through the repeated mounds of sand. The sight of sea foam becomes clearer the closer you edge on to the shallow water. You could smell the salty air, the scene was exactly the way you remembered so long ago when you first visited…when you first found out what you really were. 

Almost there.

So close, the dampened sand squished in between your toes and you could feel that tingly sensation come through. The nerves in your legs become blazed with overwhelming heat and pressure, it was discomforting and painful, just the way you remembered. You lose balance, and your legs become numb and weak; the denim of your jeans shred and tear as the dazzling scales reappear. After so many years, for the first time since your 15th year, you were  changing back into the maiden of the sea. The remnants of your attire shred to pieces, and you discard what was left until nothing clothed you. Unable to walk, you edged closer to the deeper end as you used your upper body strength, and dig your fingers in the sand as you crawled towards the roaring waves, dragging your mermaid tail behind. Your fingers feel the smooth and flourishing rush of water feeding under your palms, easing your migration to the deep end. The image of your mother appears before your eyes. 

Mama…I’m coming…I’m coming to find you.

……………….

“Gotcha!”

You screamed as you felt the sudden tug on your tail. A strong grip punches your scales as the weight climbes up towards your hips, waist, and rests around your shoulders. “Aaaaaah!!!! Stop!!! Let me go!!! Get off!! You can’t do this to me!!! Let me go!”

You feel yourself being lifted from the sandy shoreline, carried princess style as you are left helpless and immobile. The tipped edge of your tail fin drags against dry sand, indicating that you were being taken farther and farther away from the ocean front. You could feel the sensation of your nerves coming back to you as the scales on your bottom region start to dry up, telling you that you were soon changing back to your normal state. With pitiful sobs, you each across his broadened chest as he cradles you forcefully in his arms. You loop one arm around his shoulder while your free hand reaches out and grabs the air while the view of the shore slowly disappears. 

“Please…..please let me go…let me go home….”

………………….

A year had nearly passed since the event of Heeseung’s duel with his grandfather, who had been dead since that night. You never inquired about how it all went down, after you rushed out of the house, all you knew was that the harrowing events from being taken from the sea, you learned that Heeseung had made special preparations in not only taking over his grandfather’s legacy, which included his entire corporation, but to eradicate all those closest to him. His great-grandfather, as you later learned.

You never met his brothers, since they too were Adams, Heeseung had taken precautionary measures to send them on assignments overseas once he manipulated the legal documents to have everything assigned under his name. His father, brothers, and the rest of the males that shared the same bloodline, all sent and kept far away from you. No one…was allowed to look, to touch, or to even dream of you. 

……

“You’re all mine…now say it.”

As his words echo throughout your brain, you fall down in memory lane and recall the image of what you saw in the mirror that very night, after Heeseung dragged you away from the ocean waters, past the corpse of his mangled grandfather, and right into the shower.

That night…..

……………

“Please let me go! Let me go! You can’t do this!”

You grab onto whatever your fingers grazed as Heeseung carried you back inside the beach rental. The view of blood splatter on the walls told you of a brutal fight, one that ended with the elder Adam laying breathlessly on the floor. The sight of it all caused you to panic and about once more. “Let me go! I don’t want this! Let me go, I want to be free!” 

By the time he enclosed you both in the shower room, your tail dried out, leaving you entirely nude as your legs returned. You cover yourself as you crawl against the sink cabinet, covered in semi-dried sand with your hair sticking to skin. You cry as you hear the latch of the door is set to lock, with Heeseung blocking it. He doesn’t say anything, at least not immediately. He looks over his shoulder and walks over to the elaborate stand in shower, surrounded by the glass wall. He turns the faucet and sets the water just at the right temperature; the screeching of the faucet dial causes you to look over, and to your horror you watch as Heeseung removes his own blouse, leaving only his wet jeans to remain as he flexes his abdominal muscles. 

Once again, you hyperventilate as you dread what he was about to do. “No please….please…please don’t do this.”

He ignores your please and didn’t even bother to look your way, instead, he places his hand under the sprinkled rain drops under the shower head, savoring the warm temperature. “Come here darling…let’s get all that sand off you.” 

You tucked your face away against the wooden cabinet door, when you hear his foot steps grow closer, followed by his harsh grip around your nude body. Still too weak from the transformation, you couldn’t stand let alone walk or run. You sobbed against his bare shoulder as you felt him lift and carry you over to the glass box. He sets you down on the tiled floor, recognizing that you were unable to flee. It only made this easier for him. 

You lay mercilessly on the floor as the water washes over your body, your hair pooling around you gracefully. The sound of his zipper drawing downward, while the buckling of his belt loosens made you wince in fear as the weight of damp denim plops down on the floor became the icing on the cake. 

“Please…” 

Again, he ignores your pleas. You feel yourself being lifted from the tile floor and pressed against the glass, chest forward with his body plastered to your backside. You felt the warm droplets coating your skin, and his warm hands roaming every inch of your nude frame. He tenderly moves the wet pieces of your hair away from your neck, and latches his mouth on. Indulging the savoring sweetness of water and your own skin, he remains glued to you, all the while his hands continue to rub your waist and hips. He takes the girth of his shaft in hand, and begins stroking it as it pokes your derrière, causing you to cry hysterically as you felt the motions of his palm moving up and down. Releasing your neck, he finally decides to speak.

“How do I even begin to tell you…how often I’ve thought about you like this?” He breathes out heavily as he buries his face against the nook of your neck, taking your breath away as the sensation of his lashes, the tip of his nose, and his pursed lips pressed against your skin…it felt so…

“I’ve only known you for such a short amount of time…yet you had such an effect on me…you became the only thing I could think about…breathe in…and spit out.” He over exaggerates an inhale as he sniffs your skin, dragging his nose tip along your neckline, right up to your jaw, all the while he continues to stroke his lengthy member as it remains pressed against the plumpness of your rear end. “How do I tell you?….how?”

Your cries soften, maybe it was the way his tender words came out; so soft and calm through that deep and sensual voice of his. Perhaps it was the way he was touching you, a sensation you only felt with him, despite your reluctance, yet it felt like a blessing to your curse. No man could make you feel, make you realize or yearn, just his. To  feel skin…to feel warmth of someone else’s body, or the shrilled coldness of their hands. To feel their lips as they adorn you with kisses, or the feeling of their breaths coating your ear when they whisper into it. To feel all of this for the first time, from not feeling pain, pleasure, or touch, to feeling it all at once it was…it was…

“I-I don’t know..I don’t know how…” you whimpered out as you find yourself submissively falling for his touch. “Please….don’t…” you beg one last time, giving it your last shot to stand strong, yet the soft desiring tone of your voice made it obvious—you already lost. 

“Come here baby, let me show you.”  He whispers from the side of your cheek, before he tilts you to look over shoulder and kisses you. The thick and lengthy muscle migrates from your rounded cheeks and probes through your thighs. Devouring you into a fierce kiss of hunger, you feel the rounded, bulbous tip of his cock breaching your entrance. You gasp out of the striking sting of pain as he pushes…more…and more. Finally, the tip breaks through and enters. With just the tip inside, the right sensation of your walls squeezing the life out of his head was already overwhelming and sensational. So much, that he had to pause and take a moment to gasp out his oncoming climax. “Fuck…” he breathes out heavily, all the while you remain in his right grasp wincing and trembling in pain. “You feel better than I imagined…how am I going to fuck you properly when you feel this good?”

“D-don’t…dont…” you gasp out as the pressure cause you to become incoherent. 

“Hm? Tell me how.” He antagonizes, finding his motivation and senses coming back as he hears your helpless and whimpering pleas. It all fueled him to get more out of you. “Tell me how baby…” 

He begins thrusting the remaining length of his shaft inward. He had intentions of starting slow and gentle, considering you never once felt the touch of someone’s fingers let alone tasting cock for the first time, but he couldn’t contain himself anymore. The screams of your beautiful voice bouncing off the tiles as he thrusted the leaked pre-cum to glaze your walls made it all too much for him to take things slow. No, he had to go in hard, deep, and fast…he needed to fuck you. It was in his nature, he needed to breed with you, dip deep into your belly where he was going to release his entire lust and create the product of his love for you. 

For you, the sensation started out too conflicting. Initially, you were disgusted and angered by the fact that the man had restrained and forced you into this, yet the feeling of touch…something your cursed lineage prevented you from indulging, was starting to make you feel differently about him. The feeling of touch, skin on skin contact was already something you hadn’t gotten used to, but to feel it from the inside…to feel his own extremity pulsate, throb, and twitch inside your womanhood as the faint remnants of first blood dripped down into the drain. The sting of pain and discomfort fades, and you feel a tingle knot formulate. There was an intense pressure in between the folds of your cavity, something that was only satisfied as he took each thrust and pelted you with his violating member. It felt glorious, of all the sensations you could feel for the first time, this was something that, now you’ve experienced it, couldn’t live without. No matter how rough, dementing, and crazy he was, you couldn’t help but yearn more for his touch, his licks, and those devouring kisses. He leans in, pressing your breasts and palms agains the glass wall, and there before you was the large mirror hovering above the sink. It displayed the reflected image of your united silhouettes behind the steamed glass; his shadow showing the motions of what he was doing from behind, as he thrusted and held onto you tightly. The nipples of your breasts and prints of your fingers were the only thing that could be made out clearly as they smudge and smear the glass, succumbing to the bouncing motions of his sickening pumps of cocking you. 

You weren’t sure how you felt about the reflection, normally, you would have cried and shuttered your sight away from it, but the longer you admired it, the more it caused you to feel….strange…almost funny….like you wanted to watch…you wanted to see more…you wanted him to do more…it was an internal feeling you’ve never felt in your life, yet here it was overcoming your better senses. You found that, in this moment, nothing mattered to you anymore. You didn’t care about preserving your pureness, about escaping, about your freedom…you didn’t care. Perhaps you’ll regret saying that after he’s had his fille with you, but for now, all you could think about, was…

“Ah! Oh….oh God!”

“Yeah?” he pants vigorously as he hastens his thrusting motions. “You like how that feels baby?”

“Mmmmm……y-yes…p-please!” 

“Please what?” 

“Please….m-more…more! Please….do more….please don’t stop…whatever it is you’re doing….d-don’t….stop….dont ever stop…” 

He buries his nose into your neck and kisses you with the most tenderness since having you in his grasp.The way you breathed out, with your voice echoing in his ear, begging for him to merge with you forever…it was all he wanted. It’s all he needed. It was all he lived for.

You dont know how it was possible, but he quickens his thrusts yet again, the sound of skin on skin slapping rigorously, with splats of water droplets flying all around as he continued to fuck the leakage of his essence inside you under the rainfall shower head was something you never knew you’d cherished and desired. 

He goes faster…deeper….harder. “Oh fuck.”

“P-please!” faster..

“Shit…y/n…” deeper…

“Oh my God what is happening!!” you scream as you feel a rage of nerve pinching pleasure that causes you to slide against the glass. In fact, had it not been for his hold on you, you would have fallen long before when he first started pelting you with his length. You jolt upwards, yet his grip ceases you from leaping too far; he wasn’t ready to take it out, not yet. “Shh…take it baby… just like that.” 

You whimper out climatic moans as your toes curl against the hard tile. What was this feeling? What just happened? What was this heated warmth that leaked out of you? This sensation? What was it that you felt filling your gut? 

Your breasts squeak against the glass as you slide all the way down, He barely has the strength to hold your waist, shaking at the knees while he releases inside your walls. His groans calm to a deep whimper as he breathes against the back of your neck. He finally did it. He finally became one with the love of his life. 

……………………

You snap out of the memory as you hear him enter the bedroom. He comes in quietly, giving you an adorn gaze as he removes his blouse and tosses it over the lavish seating chair. He reaches up, and unties his black tie, lids growing heavy as he looks with an endearing expression. It was a look that triggered another memory, one that occurred some time after he took your virginity and made you feel touched in a way that you never knew existed…

………..

“Crying again? It’s been months now, do you plan to cry forever?” 

“Please…I just….I just want to be free again….why does it have to be this way?”

“I told you darling, you can be free from the chains when you learn to behave.”

“But….I…I dont….I can’t….Heeseung please….”

“Come on, remember all the times that I made you feel good? You like it when I do that, dont you?”

“Stop! Please, I dont want that right now. I want to be free. I want my old life back.”

“Baby…i told you. You belong to me…you are all that i’ve got…and I’m all that you have.” 

You remember how his words cut you deep, causing you to cry not because of fear, but because of the truth behind them. He was right…so right. 

“You lived your entire life with multiple identities to keep your lineage a secret. To protect your parents, siblings, and yourself. By doing so, you cut ties with your brothers, your father passed on, and your mother is lost at sea….you have no one, darling. Just me. And you truly love me, you just don’t realize it yet, which is why you have to stay locked up for a while.”

He rubs your hair in between his fingers, slowly raising it to his nose as he gently inhales the scent. He rubbed the smoothness of your strands against his cheek, indulging you, as always, giving you the same look…that he was giving you right now. Except now…there were no chains…no locks…no barred windows and concrete walls. There were no steel doors and sound proof glass. Now, you were a doll living in a life of silk and chiffon, dazzled by this man’s affection. You were always under his watchful eye, and forever entrusted by his top guards whenever he wasn’t present. You were his…all his. After a year of emotional and mental torment, you gave up and realized that, not only was he right about having only him, but he was the perfect match for you. An Adam…with the gift of longevity and supernatural abilities in the water, which only meant that whether it be land or sea, you were never far from his reach. He would always find you, and bring you back. You’ll never know what became of your mother, if she was still roaming the sea for you and her ancestors, and you’ll never know how your brothers are doing, because the world is no longer yours. You were a pearl trapped inside a shell, forever protected deep inside a sea of warmth and comfort, his comfort. Leaning against you, he pulls your backside against his chest and embraces you, as he does every night. Kissing your neck, he chuckles as he breathes over your ear. Faintly pointing over towards the opened cracked window, with the curtain dancing against the breeze, he whispers…

“Can you hear the ocean, my darling Siren?” 

Perm Taglist:

@enheene , aiden2001 , heeseung-min , lathan1510 , rayofsunshineeee , @hoyeonheeseung , @rayofsunshineeee , @yohanabanana , @sunoosrightbuttcheek , @jaeneohee , @icydawon , @silcry , @iamliacamila , @nikstrange , @enheene ; @nuriicata , @en-happiness ; @ayyow811 , @kaykay11sworld , @ophelie245

[kissofthemis]

Artem and Rosa chatting over coffee BECAUSE they're pulling an all nighter again?

The whirring of the coffeemaker felt exceptionally loud in the otherwise quiet office.

Rosa didn't want to waste any resources or time by making a full pot of coffee, so she had defaulted to heating up a pod. However, she forgot how loud the machine was when heating up a single pod, and she lifted a finger to her lips to give a whispered "shush."

She wasn't worried about disturbing anyone at this hour, as she was fairly confident that she was the only one still at the Themis office at 11:52 PM, but the jarring buzzing noise and now the echoing plops of coffee falling into her mug were a bit too eerie for her liking amidst the silence.

"At this hour, I would recommend not adding as much vanilla syrup as you usually do. Can I grab you a sugar?"

"Eeeek!"

The unexpected voice caught Rosa entirely off guard. She whirled around, one hand clutching her chest, only to find herself face to face with what was now an equally startled Artem.

"Sorry. I wasn't... trying to judge your coffee habits."

"N-no, that's not..." Rosa exhaled sharply, willing her heartbeat to return to a normal rhythm. "Please don't sneak up on me at this hour, Mr. Wing," she managed to sigh out at last. She was still audibly panting, but she tried to act as nonchalant as possible as she grabbed her mug and stepped to the side. "One sugar sounds great. Thank you."

Rosa practiced some deep breathing while Artem fetched two sugar packets. "I wouldn't recommend both at this hour, but I do know you have a sweet tooth, so..." His voice trailed off, and he instead punctuated his sentence by handing her the packets.

"Thank you." Rosa accepted them and dipped her head politely. "Um... you aren't going to chastise me for drinking coffee at this hour?" She was admittedly surprised to find him being supportive, although she couldn't help but think he was concealing his disappointment in her.

"Well, I certainly don't agree with it," Artem admitted. "But if I were to criticize you..." A small smile cracked at the corners of his lips.

"Then that would make me a hypocrite."

Artem placed his own mug underneath the machine and added a fresh pod. As the coffee began brewing, he turned to Rosa with a more neutral, but slightly curious, expression. "Do you expect to be here for a while tonight?"

Rosa sighed and leaned against the pantry counter top, drumming her fingers against the surface in a bit of frustration. "Yeah. Hopefully not all night, but at least another hour or two. Did I tell you about the acquisition deal I've been working on?" When Artem gave an affirmative nod, she continued. "Well, it turns out their accounting methods and records were alarmingly inaccurate. Now we have to rework the working capital calculations, and it's possible that the company we're acquiring doesn't have that minimum threshold in their treasury. Now our client wants to entirely rework that aspect of the purchase agreement to protect themselves from any losses we may incur, and I don't blame them. The problem is that the other company doesn't want to own up to their mistakes, and their counsel is more or less enabling their bad behavior." She slumped against the counter top with a heavy sigh. "Which means I'm spending all night going over the absurd revisions that opposing counsel made to our latest draft of the purchase agreement... and I probably have to reject most of them! Oh, and here's another kicker. We're inheriting some employees that work remotely from outside Stellis, so we have to make sure that their employment agreements don't contain any weird wrinkles we need to know about. Some of the foreign laws just don't have analogous laws in Stellis, and vice versa. The price of growth, I suppose...."

Just how long had Artem been standing there, watching her, while stirring the very-clearly-finished cup of coffee in his hands?

"Oh my gosh! I've been talking your ear off! I haven't let you get a word in! I'm so sorry, Mr. Wing!" Rosa bolted upright and dusted herself off before bowing apologetically.

Artem raised a hand to stop her and shook his head. "No need to apologize," he tried to assure her. Was it her imagination, or did he sound a bit flustered? "I quite like listening."

Rosa was a little surprised by that statement. "Really? Even though it's all..." Whiny? Complaining? Work-related? What was she most embarrassed about, actually? "You must have enough on your plate," she finished at last, before nervously beginning to twirl a loose curl around her finger. "Please rest assured that I have this under control!"

"I know you do."

Was it her imagination, or did he sound a bit tender?

'Oh, no. It's only midnight, and I'm already delirious.'

"I like hearing you talk," Artem said simply. How could he say something so ridiculous with such a straight face? "I know that I've dragged you out of your comfort zone with criminal cases," he went on. "To hear you speak so passionately about the work you prefer to do, about economic and corporate matters, is quite refreshing." He wrapped his long, slender fingers carefully around his mug, as if wanting to ensure he could capture the entire circumference in his hands. "Your passion is warm. It's admirable."

"A-anyway, what brings you here at this hour, Mr. Wing?" Why did she say that? He was already here and stayed late, obviously. Why didn't she phrase her question that way? Now he was going to think she was dumb!

If Artem found her question bizarre, he gave no indication whatsoever. "I was supposed to depose a witness next week, but the deposition was moved up due to scheduling conflicts." He paused to take a sip of his coffee, then he glanced over Rosa's face with a knowing expression. "Opposing counsel asked if I would prefer to push it back an extra week, but I declined."

Her emotions must have been easy to read. Her first thought had naturally been, 'Opposing counsel is a real jerk to cut your preparation time instead of extending it!' Rosa opened her mouth to inquire as to why Artem agreed to move the deposition date up, but as she looked up at Artem's face, realization struck her. She lowered her gaze and simply nodded.

"Your client is anxious, and you didn't want to incur further delays. Otherwise that anxiety would only continue to grow."

Artem's expressions tended to be calm, cool, and perhaps even stoic or cold. The way he carried himself emitted an air of confidence and calculation, as if he were prepared for anything and everything, and as if nothing could ever faze him.

But Artem wasn't just a legal robot. Rosa saw the emotion hidden in his azure eyes. Once you cracked the surface of the lake, the depths of those blues contained compassion, sympathy, concern, determination, sorrow, and an overwhelming dedication to justice.

Artem was the type of person who would inconvenience himself in order to ease someone else's burdens.

"Don't forget to take care of yourself too, you know."

Artem blinked in what was probably the most outward expression of surprise that he had ever shown at the office. "Pardon?"

"You can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself first." Rosa shrugged as if that were the most obvious fact in the world, and then she turned to head back to her desk.

"Wise words," Artem murmured, and he stopped next to her desk as she sat down. "I wonder where you heard such advice."

Rosa tilted her head to the side in confusion. Artem tended to be straightforward, but she couldn't help but feel as though another layer of meaning laid beneath those words.

The twinkle in his eyes gave her the answer.

"Well, don't give people advice that you won't follow, Mr. Wing!" Rosa folded her arms over her chest in a huff. When had he become so bold as to tease her like this?

"I think the same principle applies to you," he responded simply. "You do have a tendency to avoid asking others for help."

Rosa aggressively lifted her mug to her face, hoping to conceal the fiery blush spreading across her cheeks. "I just don't want t--"

A coughing fit broke off her sentence as coffee went down her windpipe.

"C-can I get you some water?!"

"N-no!" Cough. "I'm!" Another cough. "Fine!" She wasn't convincing him at this rate.

But Rosa trusted him to keep this intimate, somewhat embarrassing moment of the midnight hour as a secret. She just prayed the moon could do the same.

[northlight14]

@ everyone going back to school, especially all my fellow neurodivergents and specifically those with special interests or hyperfixations, there is no wrong way of revising! It doesn’t matter if it seems “unusual” to other people, if it works for you, use it!!

I just finished collage and because of my funky brain, I can have a difficult time remembering information, especially things like names and specific details. And considering a lot of the classes I was taking required me to remember a lot of different theories, that was proving to be a bit of an issue. Cut to when we were getting up to our A level mocks and my English literature teacher at the time starts going round the entire classroom asking everyone how they revise one by one. Everyone’s saying the usual stuff of “I reread the material” “I use flash cards” “I make notes” etc. All stuff I’ve tried to do in the past but just never worked for me because my brain functions differently. She then gets to me and asks how I revise and I explain that I’ll try and make connections in my brain between the thing I’m studying and whatever my interests are. I’ve always found this to be useful for me because it keeps my brain interested in what I’m studying by using my special interests and also requires me to actively think about and analyse what I’m studying so that I can make those connections. However, my teacher just looked at me with the most condescending smile on her face and asked “does that really work?” Obviously I got uncomfortable and said “yeah it does” but she then proceeded to ask “do you do anything else?” And making it out as if I was an idiot for doing something like that and just making me feel embarrassed in front of the class. Eventually, I just said one of the generic answers everyone else had so she’d leave me alone.

However, I’m petty as hell so when it came to the mocks I used that method to memorise one of my theories for media studies. Cut to that theory being the one that stuck in my head the most, just proving to me that this method my teacher decided “doesn’t work” without actually listening to me, does in fact work for me. Fast forward to my actual A Levels and I used that method again. Ace Attorney had just become my new special interest/hyperfixation so I used that for a lot of the theories. Specifically, one of the theories I linked it to “The Steel Samurai”, a tv show within the Ace Attorney universe. Then when I went into my exam I saw a theory question. For those who don’t know, for theory questions they just ask you to apply a theory to a specific text but they only name the theory, they don’t tell you what the theory includes. While at first wasn’t sure what the theory was and went to answer another question, I then quickly remembered “the steel samurai” and even wrote down “the steel samurai” next to the question as a reminder for myself for when I went to answer it and it helped a lot as a prompt. Once again, the method my teacher decided “didn’t work” was the very reason I was able to answer that question and passed my media exam

Again, it doesn’t matter what other people’s opinions are on how you revise, if it works for you, please use it! You know your brain better than anyone else. Do whatever helps you understand the material and keeps your brain engaged

[chaisshitposts]

hi chai i hope you don’t mind this ask as i feel this might come as unwanted advice that can seem somewhat pessimistic to some so i apologise in advance but i mean no harm.

I am only trying to help and wish i’d known this right when i started to “manifest” or enter the void, and also as someone who’s been on loablr since 2021 and have read possibly every single success story that exists on here, here are some things to keep in mind:

there are many people that did the 10k affirmation challenge and didn’t end up getting their desires, why? cause they most certainly affirmed 10K times for their desires (while it’s proven scientifically to work)

but still happened to fail, cause they most probably thought against their desires; which was the strongest argument the states girlies used to have.

REMEMBER: you cannot be two things at once, you either have it or you don’t so which side are you on through the day and as you fall asleep?

(i mention the falling asleep bit cause i personally felt anxious at times going to sleep knowing i am still not where i want to be so if you’re doing the same thing, please stop. That’s the state you’re falling asleep to😭 it’s doing you no good😭)

(also i am not siding with any method, all methods work)

lesson learnt from this: nothing matters if you’re not strict with your mental diet, your 4D, your imagination.

(I’m not saying you have to suppress your feelings cause that can’t be good)

@moonbakeries used to vent for as long as she liked but made sure to persist in her 4D and she changed her life. please go through her blog to understand this better.

when i see people being consistent for weeks on here doing everything right and coming you to update (i love to see the discipline) but can’t help and wonder if they are persistent with their new story throughout

because i have been in their shoes before and had little to no success. (and as i follow you i can’t help but be reminded of my own failure cause i’ve been there before and the burnout isn’t pretty.)

I appreciate your support to all of your followers. I mean no offence to anyone but i really think i had to come out of my lurking bubble and let my mistake be known loud and clear so that others don’t make the same mistake as I did.

I feel like if we all delete tumblr, strictly only persist in our 4D for a week straight, we all would be living our dream lives.

Proof: rae’s death revision success story @itsravenbitch

@moonbakeries dream life success story

time taken? seven days.

DISCLAIMER:

i know we are all different and we shouldn’t think of time as a relative thing cause it’s literally not real. so obviously don’t think of seven days as a deadline (silly of me to mention it now after saying all that lol but you get the point)

if you fall in love with your imagination, you won’t care about time and the 3D (i know it’s hard with circumstances which is why i still haven’t personally succeeded) but please try. It will change your life.

Reminds me of another success story (anonymous) they changed their gender just by identifying as their ideal gender. I cannot remember if it was ftm or mtf i’m sorry but whenever someone mentioned/referred to them as their older gender, they literally didn’t care cause they knew the were their ideal gender and one day, they woke up to being their desired gender. That’s all it took.

the most common takeaway from all success stories is: BELIEVE, TRUST, HAVE FAITH.

(yes, doubts are common)

@moonbakeries mentioned it too, people that entered the void had doubts too but managed to persist, @gorgeouslypink also doubted the void till the moment she entered herself but still entered the void.

BUT CONTINUE TO PERSIST

The 3D (notice how i say “the” and not “your” cause it’s not yours) is none of your business.

Your 4D (imagination) is the real deal. Just like day is followed by the night, your imagination has to show up too, no matter what. let this sink in please.

I know discipline matters, please continue to do what you’re doing if it helps you stay consistent with your new story but actively make sure to persist in your new story, your FAV story. it’s so so crucial. That’s all!

I really want to be off anon but not sure how this message would be taken so i choose to stay anonymous lol

sending love to all!

thank you for your words of wisdom and motivation, I appreciate the strength it took to write this. I know that this will certainly be a wake up call to many.

[okamirayne]

Hi, fellow writer here simply trying to get some traction their story via tumblr. Do you have any tips?

Hi there, Fellow Writer! ✍🏼

Ooh, tips…!

I guess it depends on what’s got you stuck? Are you feeling blocked with plot or are your characters not cooperating? Do you need creative inspiration or something practical to apply?

Here are some tips that I hope might help, my dear. Please discard what doesn’t work for you, or feel free to let me know if there’s a specific area you’re stumped on in which I may be able to offer my humble two cents. 🩵

Inspiration ideas: create some music playlists for your characters; read some non-fiction books surrounding your characters such as their job/psychology/world (e.g if your character is a Viking warrior maybe read into early medieval Norse history and/or mythology plus battle tactics of the Norse warriors); make a character mood-board; have fun and dabble in some art or other creative pursuit to shake up your right brain (you can keep it connected to your characters/story); brainstorm with a creative buddy; dive into storytelling and read some fiction that inspires/entertains you; watch a movie/series that engages you and determine what it was about the story/characters kept you invested (this can be used to help you hone your craft); RP your characters if you can (the real-time urgency and method-acting nature of RPing can really help you connect with your characters); explore areas of The Arts that give you the sweet magical feels ✨; or maybe you just need a break away from the work to let it percolate?

Practical ideas:

1) Character chat: Have a chat with your characters. Write dialogue between you and them. Hang out with them. Revise or revisit your characters’ backstory, their goals (internal/external goals), their fears, unmet needs, their non-negotiables, their core values, their formative years, and the lie they believe about themselves. What are their objectives and what is motivating them? What would happen if they stopped believing the lie about themselves? Who would they have to be (that they don’t want to be), or what would they have to do (that they don’t want to do) if they stopped believing the lie. Examples of lies: I’m broken; I’m unloveable, I have to be strong, I have to rescue everyone, everyone leaves, I’m not worthy, I’m not safe, everyone depends on me, I have to be xyz, xyz is my fault, emotion is weak, everyone else is xyz, if I don’t do ‘x’ then ‘y’ will happen, I AM “xyz” (insert wound/lie here).

2) Head Hop: shift perspective or point of view if you’ve stalled, this can really help. Get into another character’s skin to tell a certain scene.

3) Endings: Get clear on a few different endings (revise plot, but leave room for organic development)

4) Drabbles: write some drabbles. Pick random words and write a short stream of consciousness response from a character’s perspective. E.g Snow, Time, Whisper. You can set a timer if you like, or just go with it, no editing, just free writing to see what gets unlocked.

5) Switch it up: Take a break or shift your environment. Take yourself out and treat yourself to a writer’s date/artist date doing something to fill your creative well (Julia Cameron talks about this in her book The Artist’s Way). If you can take yourself to an environment that resonates with your characters and/or the world they inhabit, even better. Some people like to switch the fonts they write in.

6) Frag Out!: Throw a plot-twist flash bang grenade into your characters’ world. Up the stakes, throw them a curveball, raise the tension, create some conflict or challenges. So long as it lends itself to character growth/revealing something about the character and/or advances the plot, that’s usually a good call!

No idea if these suggestions/tips were helpful, luv. Again, if there’s a specific area that’s giving you trouble you’re welcome to share. 😊 I really hope you can gain some traction and get things rolling again 💪🏼 Wishing you loads of inspiration and energy to do your wordcraft wizardry!✨💜✨

[pure-ablution]

Hi Kitty,

This is a bit embarrassing but I've never really learned how to study. I got through school by cramming and creating positive relationships with teachers and professors. I've signed up for a very difficult comprehensive finance exam (CFA) at the end of August and I'm deathly afraid of it--I've barely made a dent in the material and I'm honestly so lost about how to approach such a gargantuan task. Do you have tips for developing a study routine and getting through vast quantities of material when it feels almost hopeless? I've tried to stick to study routines before but have never been successful at it. I saw that you mentioned having ADHD and this is something I struggle with too.

Thank you!

You have 6 months to improve your study habits, learn a lot of material, and prepare for your exam—it’s a lot, but it’s totally doable.

The first thing I would recommend is looking at resources specifically aimed at those taking the CFA. Different exams require different approaches, and it’s so helpful to know what’s expected of you. I’ve quickly looked on Google, and it seems there’s a subreddit specifically for the exam—this is great news! I would definitely avoid spending long hours scrolling through it, because most of the posts are going to be long rants and lamentations from fellow exam-takers, but if you search strategically for recommended resources and study techniques, it could be really helpful. I’d also suggest looking for official textbooks and unofficial study guides (download both for free if you can; this should be easy considering how popular the exam is) and any well-made YouTube resources.

Once you understand the format and expectations of the exam, and the structure of the content, then you need to create a study timeline. When you have ADHD, you naturally want to leave everything until the last minute and cram like crazy, but what actually works for you is likely to be studying a little amount each and every day. When I prepared for my university entrance exams, I did one past paper every day—and absolutely nothing more than that. It was the first time I’d really been so structured and diligent in my revision, and it paid off, because I scored an unheard-of 100% in that exam rather than my usual upper end of average. This method is also really good for easing the nerves and jitters, because it lets you tick off your daily tasks, visibly see your progress, and reassure yourself that you’re doing enough and that you’re on the right track. You need to break down the study material into manageable daily chunks, regularly review and refresh it, and just keep moving forward.

Specific techniques: personally, I learn best from analogue methods. This might not work for you, but it works best for me and for my other friends with ADHD, too. Writing my notes by hand, and making physical flashcards and putting them into a Leitner box, is what helps everything stick in my brain. You have enough time to experiment, so try digital notes, flashcard software like Anki, paper notes, mindmaps, etc. until you find something that feels comfortable. I personally love a physical Leitner box for flashcards, sticking to the pomodoro technique, and following my own exam revision schedule detailed here.

Please send me another ask or write to me privately if this hasn’t covered all of your questions, but in the meantime, I hope this is helpful!

[indigozeal]

Game translation project delay

Earlier this year, a game translation project which I had been trying to get off the ground for a very long time was surprise-announced by another team member, with a release implied to be imminent. I'm not going to mention the name of the project in the body of this post for Woolie Madden reasons—I don't think we should have tempted the Fates then, and I don't think we should any further—but if you've happened across this page, you know what it is. I had myself mentioned that I had already translated 90% of this game's Super Famicom script, a number the team member making the announcement quoted, and one which I stand by. Yet here we are several months later, and I'm still deep in work.

In short: the translation's the holdup. I'm informed that technical reasons make using the original SFAM game for a patch prohibitively difficult. However: the version of the game I understand we have to use has expanded greatly on that original SFAM game, adding a number of events and much more text—plus a second protagonist choice with mostly unique events and dialogue—while revising some of the existing script. Translating & editing all this new material, in addition to editing the entire script, old and new, for length and inserting it line-by-line, is unavoidably taking a good amount of time. While I've been presented with a method that attempts to create a script for the game using a combination of Google Translate, what I translated for the SFAM version, and guesses from non-translating members of the team, I strongly felt that the results did not deliver in terms of quality, accuracy, fluency, or characterization, so I asked, and was promised, complete responsibility for the script side of the project.

That's the reason for the delay. I, as the translator, am the rate-determining step. That's due to a decision I made for the quality of the project—I want to deliver a good patch, one that reflects the game & characters accurately and of which everyone can be proud—and the consequences of that decision are my responsibility. Given my current work rate, I'm going to shoot to complete the translation side of this project six months from now; emergencies or unexpected developments may change this, but I think it's doable.

That's the nutshell version, and I apologize to anyone whose hopes were gotten up by the announcement earlier in the year. There really isn't a way to short-circuit the time investment required for the translation, for reasons explained at length below. If you'd like a more in-depth explanation, please proceed past the cut.

A bit of background

I've been a longtime fan of a romance-oriented Japanese game & media franchise aimed at women that founded an entire gaming genre but, except for one TV series, has never had any sort of official release outside Japan. There'd been some talk in the fandom of how nice it would be if the franchise's foundational, genre-defining game, for the Super Famicom, finally got an English patch—for historical purposes; to give the franchise a bit more recognition outside Japan; just so that the English-speaking fans could play. However: the game's script was notoriously huge, and no one wanted to climb that mountain. (The game's lovey-dovey, frilly subject material also doesn't typically appeal to the folks who fill up romhacking.)

I was exactly the type of unreasonable person equipped for this task, however. I've been involved in hobby game-translation projects for…well, decades now. I also translate professionally and have worked in game translation on projects for Square, Sega, Bandai Namco, Koei, and others, as chronicled in part on this blog. I also had one huge advantage for this game: the publisher had released a book containing almost its entire script. It took a great deal of time, but a few years ago, I finished and posted a translation of the script book.

Attracting someone to insert this script into a patch, though, proved a problem. One obstacle, I learned, was the immediate lack of a file pairing the English translations with the Japanese lines; I'd thought I'd attack this once a patch project started and I got proper script dump files, but not having a paired version of what had been translated immediately prepared was a turnoff, I guess. I therefore set to work producing one. In the meantime, I was indeed contacted by a few folks with some interest in producing a patch, but I didn't subsequently hear of any progress.

About a year ago, though, shortly after I started on that "paired" version of the script, I was contacted by a very interested and motivated individual who claimed they could use the script to produce a patch for the game. One thing, however: there were issues with the coding of the SFAM version that made producing a patch for it prohibitively difficult. (I know very little of the tech side of producing patches and am not equipped to provide an explanation, but this was not the first time I'd heard this about the SFAM game. I had persisted in translating the SFAM script in the hopes that the issue was resolvable, as the SFAM version is the historic, genre-founding title and the folks with reservations self-admittedly hadn't looked very deeply, but evidently, the problem is indeed a serious obstacle.) As a solution, this person asked if I'd be willing to work on a patch for a later, more-technically-manageable rerelease of the game on the DS. I readily agreed.

A while after, two more folks joined the project on the tech side, evidently with a solution to an issue that was frustrating progress on the DS version. They offered to produce a version of the patch for the PS1 version alongside the DS version; I agreed. (I eventually learned, however, that this would involve extra work, that of producing a second version of the script to accommodate the PS1 version's different per-line character limits.)

What exactly are you doing right now?

In brief: when agreeing to produce a version of the script for the rereleases, I didn't anticipate how much they expanded on the original game.

While the original version has a single, set protagonist, the expanded versions allow you to choose to play as her rival. The choice isn't limited to a simple swapping out of names in dialogue; each protagonist has her own unique versions of events, plus unique dialogue from the nine love interests. (Some dialogue is shared, but about two-thirds of it, I'd say, is tailored to the choice of protagonist.)

Dialogue from the love interests has been greatly expanded to flesh out characterization. For example, in the original game, if you asked one of the love interests his opinion on one of the others, he'd respond with a generic message of approval, disapproval, or indifference based on his current regard for the other man. In the remakes, however, each love interest has a unique set of approval/disapproval/indifference messages for each of the other eight suitors. In other words, where there were once three different messages, there are now twenty-four, each on average significantly longer than the originals.

There are numerous new events and activities: cafe and skygazing dates, letter-writing, cooking, finding lost objects, etc., all with unique dialogue for each protagonist and love interest, making for a base of eighteen variations. Many have additional variations based on other parameters.

Some of the dialogue that's still present in the remake has been revised from the original.

Again: what I had originally produced was a text translation of the script book to the Super Famicom version of the game. The script book was not complete—it focused on exhaustive enumerations of love interest dialogue and elided NPC dialogue—but I believe it has about 90% of the original game's text. With the remake, though, there's a lot more work to do.

My tasks are numerous. The script files I've been given generally sort dialogue by event. For each file, I have to identify the specific event they concern, then go line by line to ascertain the speaker of each line and the circumstances under which each is said from context (as this information isn't marked) as well as determine if the text is old or new. If it's old, I have to find the translation in the script-book file and match it to the source text; if it's new, I have to translate it—and also check it against a new script book for the new version, as certain changeable or user-definable proper nouns, such as protagonist names and various locations an event can take place, are for tech reasons not reliably represented in the script dump files. For all dialogue, I have to edit translations to match character and line limits, putting in line breaks and sometimes rewording text or, as a last resort, cutting it—and since the character limit per line is different for the PS1 and DS versions, I have to produce two versions. (In fairness, I don't have to, but the extra space in the DS version is useful on occasion, and dialogue boxes might look odd if I don't use real estate properly.)

It's a lot. However: it's not that different than what I do as a professional game translator (with extra steps), and I'm uniquely equipped to tackle this particular job thanks to having translated the SFAM script book and being very familiar with the characters from following the franchise for years.

I can do all this, but it takes time. That's what holding up the patch.

No, AI can't help

Not long after the announcement, one of the team members informed me that they intended to produce the patch using a method where Google Translate versions of the script files were combined with parts of my original translation and guesses from non-translating members of the team as to what lines meant. They shared an example—an attempt at an English-language version of the introductory segment of the DS game produced using this method. (I had translated the SFAM introduction, but, as with all matters, the DS version greatly expanded on the SFAM version.) I had not been informed previously about this plan.

I took a look, and I felt very strongly that the results did not live up to the standard I wanted for this franchise's English-language debut. There were numerous errors in translation, spelling, grammar, and punctuation. The English used wasn't fluent. Characters no longer had unique voices—they all sounded the same, and characterization was completely absent.

(I have to say: despite the importance of the other issues, the gutting of characterization was the biggest knife for me. The game was so successful in pioneering its genre due in great part to its attention to characterization, which I worked hard to reflect in my translation. Seeing all that work torn up in favor of an AI translation that was not only not up to the task linguistically but torched everything that made the game unique frankly hurt.)

The Google Translate script is not exactly usable.

This isn't Google Translate's fault. The script files are typically formatted to present, line by line, just one side of a conversation in all its numerous variations—either for one love interest in all possible permutations (variants depending on your affinity with him etc.), or for all love interests who can have this conversation. There's no overt signal in the file that the speaker or scenario is shifting; you have to realize who's speaking and in what circumstances from context and speaking style. Google Translate can't glean the context it needs to deliver an effective translation when dialogue is presented in this manner, and you can't infuse it with the franchise or script knowledge it needs to make the right calls about speaker/scenario/etc.

Other obstacles: The dialogue is presented line by line, so Google Translate is going to translate line by line, which leads to choppy dialogue. Characterization is frequently communicated in elements like verb endings and sentence-ending particles that Google Translate overlooks or doesn't convert well or that can be translated in multiple ways depending on context. Conversations also have a number of short lines that are also heavily context-dependent, where trying to translate them context-free via the line-by-line method leads to inane translations. There are more; any experienced translator could probably expound further on why using Google Translate in this scenario is a bad idea. You need an experienced translator with franchise knowledge to tackle this project.

I also don't expect the folks on the technical side of the team to attempt to translate—it's not their job, any more than romhacking is my job.

I would have been derelict in my duty as a translator if I let the patch go forward in this state. I didn't, and don't, feel that a Google Translate patch would deliver any value—there are programs out there that can Google Translate dialogue boxes in roms automatically, if that's what you want. This is a historic game, and I feel it deserves a patch that showcases the qualities that made it special for its English-language debut. If we delivered a patch that was incoherent and characterless, the franchise would be tainted in the English market, and the team would be nailed to the wall. From my job, being the one equipped to gauge quality in this department, I knew what public reception of a patch in this state would be, and I didn't want the rest of the team or me to suffer that. (To be selfish, a poor-quality patch would also have professional repercussions for me, as pros do watch the fan scene, and trying to pass off AI, much less AI that's not up to the task, as your own work is, rightfully, a huge black mark on your reputation.) Also, to be blunt: I didn't start this project years ago to spit AI all over this game.

I sent them an email explaining the issues above to the relevant team member, and I asked to have full responsibility for the script side of the project. They agreed.

There was also an attempt by a team member to use AI to help with editing that didn't bear fruit. One of the non-translating team members tried to help with my workload by taking the lines I'd edited for the 38-character DS line length and trying to re-edit them for the 33-character PS1 line length with AI assistance. I was not initially informed of this difference in line lengths or the need for two scripts. I discovered it only upon accessing the group versions of the script files on the cloud drive and discovering that a number of formatting and translation errors had been introduced into files I'd previously edited, some rather basic: the Japanese verb for "to eat" had been mistaken for the one meaning "to rest," for instance. Upon inquiring, I discovered what had happened, and as a result, it was clarified that I would be handling editing for both versions and reworking the files affected to restore the translation and remove the errors produced. I appreciate the attempt to alleviate my workload, but there's by nature a hard linguistic wall involved with editing, and the attempt just created more work.

So the other team members have experimented with using AI, but it hasn't produced anything usable—honestly, it just kind of screws up everything it touches. (If I'd been aware of the attempts to use AI on the project beforehand, I would have reached out and explained why they wouldn't have worked.) I'll state right now that my vision for this patch absolutely does not, and never did, include Google Translate or other AI or LLMs: as a professional translator, I have no need to use AI to translate; it would not expedite the translation due to the particulars detailed above; and I care too much about the quality of this project to farm any part of it out to AI. I mention it because a lot of folks, particularly tech folks, have more confidence in AI than I do, having worked with it extensively for my job and knowing well its capabilities and limitations. It can be useful in certain situations, but it's not omnipotent, and it's not suited for this project.

"Hey, would it help to get an additional translator?"

Honestly, not at this point, no, for several reasons.

One, the work to be done requires a great deal of previous familiarity with the script. Remember, the script for the roms exists in a bunch of files with the lines are generally (but not always) sorted by event, where the individual speakers and the nature of the event itself have to be inferred from context or just plain recognized from experience. The lines also aren't typically organized to present a complete conversation, usually going through all the iterations of one side of the conversation character by character. A good deal of the work is recognizing context and speakers for the lines and whether they're already-translated material or entirely new or old lines that have been changed, so that existing translations can be matched or new, context-appropriate translations can be written. You really need to know your way around the script to do that. I'm equipped to do that, since I've translated the script book for the SFAM version; that's a tall ask for someone coming in cold. We tried it previously, and it didn't work. (It also helps if you have previous familiarity with the characters and how they speak, not only to identify when they're speaking, but to translate what they're saying in a character-appropriate manner. The latter isn't impossible without that familiarity—it's how games are typically translated—but it's way easier if you come in with that knowledge.)

Two, this is a character-intensive game with a huge amount of nuanced character writing to reflect in the English translation, and that calls for a certain degree of translation and just plain writing ability. Many of the devices used to communicate that nuance are easily overlooked unless you have a lot of translation experience. (I'm speaking from my own development as a translator here: you can reach a point where declarative sentences like the narration in a world guide or Ultimania are within your grasp but the nuances of conversation are just going to elude you.) Plus: even if you identify and understand the Japanese text, you still have to be able to phrase it in English fluently, in an accurate and character-appropriate manner. This whole set of skills is another ask.

Three, this is a niche title for the West whose massive script was notorious for repelling translators. "Hey, guess what! I'm working on a version that I've discovered is even more massive and interminable!" does not make the project more enticing.

Four, it's way harder to vet translators nowadays, and it would consume resources on my end I'd rather put toward getting the dang thing done. The rise of LLMs has given rise to a number of folks eager to take over translation duties on a project who have just one or two semesters of Japanese but think Google Translate can make up for the rest. (You might say, "hold on, you just mentioned that this project repels translators; why would someone like that sign up for this?", but that's kind of the thing: it'd attract those who don't know enough to know what they're getting into.) In a conversation- and context-heavy project like this, where AI is going to fall down hard, those people are going to hit a wall very quickly, which leads to difficult conversations that I'd really rather not have—but would have to have, since I'm the translator who started this whole thing, and it's my responsibility to deliver a quality product.

Furthermore, a lot of this can be difficult to communicate to the type of people who would be most enthusiastic about AI at the present moment. I love you, tech people. I love you. But I have gotten the impression over the years that some tech folks in the rom-patching scene regard translators and translations as kind of valueless and interchangeable because, you know, words are all the same, who really cares. It's already an uphill battle to convince some folks that words, the type of words you use, matter, and I'm afraid my forces are already fully engaged on one front (the script itself).

Even if the volunteer were heaven-sent, due diligence in ascertaining their divine status would take a lot of energy, and after the stumbles we've had, I just want to get this done, and just want to rely on a method I know from experience will work instead of chasing down more blind alleys.

Real-life issues! We've got real-life issues here!

I will also note, by way of explanation, that I have had a number of personal things happen that have resulted in delays on my end, which I will recite here for entertainment's sake: I got bronchitis twice in succession (I had it for a week, got better for a week, and then got it again, worse, for another week) and became as sick as I've been in my adult life. There's been an issue with a property in my family to which I've had to tend, involving lawyers extensively. I got an opportunity this year to work professionally on one of the most storied franchises in gaming, to which I had to dedicate a suitable amount of time, as well as other professional translation projects that demanded my attention. I've had to travel extensively for personal reasons, and not fun, vacation-type travel—travel that involved a good deal of work, physical and professional. I had fallout from a client who wanted me to cheat on my taxes to cover for an accounting issue on their end and submitted falsified documents to the IRS. Also, after a lifetime of avoiding, by luck or otherwise, such situations, I have had a problem with being harassed by not one but two completely unrelated individuals, one of whom became physically violent with me. (Not very successfully, but the attempt itself was disturbing.)

To paraphrase from Jurassic Park, I'm sure, dear reader, you are sorry for my problems, but they are my problems. But I recite this to communicate it's not been all Lazy Translator Fun Time over here, and at times, though my spirit has been willing to work on this translation, my schedule has been weak. Or too strong, rather. This doesn't make the delay go down any more easily, but it has been a practical concern.

---

So that's the status report. In brief: I'm asking for six months to get this done, AI-free, and I thank you for your patience (both with the delay and in reading this).

[geronimosothercadilac]

Analysis of a plot summary

*This is the full document, as I decided to release my finished document as a Tumblr post for no reason.

The summary - Longing to be taken seriously as a journalist and move beyond the cheesy puff pieces he’s usually assigned, Geronimo stumbles onto a conspiracy far bigger than anyone expected. He’s out of his league and with his eccentric family always up in his business, Geronimo’s problems seem insurmountable. But, working together, they might stand a chance as long as they can stay one step ahead of his foes in this explosive game of cat and mouse.

Text analyzed and revised - Trying to be recognized as an important journalist and move beyond the poor quality and unimportant articles that emphasize useless topics he is usually assigned to, Geronimo mistakenly enters inside a conspiracy that is bigger than anyone has ever imagined. He is out of his job (The Rodents Gazette) and with his ‘oddly behaved’ family always intruding his business; Geronimo’s problems appear to be impossible to overcome. But by taking action and working together, the family might expect success as long as they can think ahead and avoid danger from his (Geronimo’s) enemies in a strong and violent conflict of deceiving tactics.

What We Can Learn, Think and Guess (WWCLTG) – Geronimo Stilton (the main character) is struggling to become internationally acclaimed and famous and to do this, he must report serious matters (such as war, food insecurity and pollution) rather than often ignored ones (celebrity gossip and reviews for new books). While exploring someplace all by himself (as the original text suggests), he appears to have followed someone (possibly an entirely different thing such as an anthropomorphic animal who is not a rodent) and ended up confined in a world where he explores all by himself leading to his realization that a massive conspiracy exists but is known to many, however it is not well known. As we can learn from the original plot summary (‘text’), Geronimo is fired from his job at ‘The Rodent’s Gazette’ as a result (what usually happens after information from a company one works for is leaked or information from some other business by the worker himself/herself). The aftermath is his family always intruding him and his tasks to survive jobless while Geronimo is failing to overcome his tragic misfortunes. However, if he works together with his family: Success may achieve as long as everyone thinks straight ahead and escape dangerous conflicts from his enemies using methods of tricking and deceiving them.

* This passage may give headaches to some people. I apologize to those who suffer from reading this. There also could be grammatical errors.

What I have found (SPOILER WARNING!):

After years of being in the fields of journalism and publishing, Geronimo Stilton has finally realized that he will never be a great journalist just by revealing small or globally unrecognized scandals, writing about his own personal life and doing other stuff (as we all know from the books and animated television series).

To achieve this, he unfortunately has to encounter topics that make him paranoid, emotional and sensitive (e.g.: Global issues, wars and their consequences, global crime rings and trafficking of sentient beings). 

He has to get away from his duty to please children but still try to make the world a better place! 

In the original plot summary, he has stumbled onto a conspiracy bigger than anyone expected. This implies he has tried to do something alone somewhere not mentioned (somewhere unknown).  He may have also followed someone as well.

Another point is that he has probably ended up in a dangerous situation (like being confined in a almost dark place).

He has probably got information by hearing or peeping through (such as a ventilator).

Geronimo Stilton on returning (after being rescued or managing to escape) is fired. And is no longer trusted by everyone, his high popularity falls down into extreme obscurity and financial losses are borne.

His strange, dysfunctional family is always trying to be in every part of his work (thinking they would help him).

Another reason why Geronimo’s problems are impossible to repair is due to he refusing help from his family or the family is poor in mental skills.

The only way to end his problems is that he and his family must work together (which in common sense, are often exploited in films where the main character takes this decision as a last resort. An example is Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017)).

Again, as repeated a few times. The family for a lengthy duration has to stay one step ahead in an array of near-violence between cat and mouse (possible reference to the Pirate Cats – villains who attack the world of mice and rats. They are absent in all episodes of the animated television series).

MORE!!!

The movie, despite what the director and producers have said about it, appears to be of a more serious context (not considered kid friendly). It is most probably suitable for children 12-15 and up. However, it is an upcoming film so we can’t make sure everything stays the same. In my opinion, the plot summary is reminiscent of certain dramas that air only on TV (e.g.: soap operas) and touches of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1865).

There is also a suspicious theory about the conspiracy in the film being of a similar vein like Zootopia (2016) or Illuminati references with Occult/Satanist themes. It is not confirmed yet as there have not been any updates since the film was announced on Monday, February 13, 2023.

Other things that are currently unknown include the budget, the cast, the animation studio currently involved and several other things we cannot know or locate unless someone leaks data from there.

There’s a domain purchased last year and there is nothing to find. However, you know what I am meaning (do not visit it till the near future):

www.geronimostiltonmovie.com

One very important thing is that, the franchise itself is somehow, very underrated but some fans (often those who grew up reading the books or watching the television series) are booming it’s popularity like I do.

CONCLUSION

So far, there have not been any further updates apart from a poster uploaded to IMDb and other similar sites in June 2023. I believe Radar Pictures is using a tactic (the same they used for Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) and a few other movies). The animation style is currently unknown but looking at the mentioned poster since June last year, it is definitely going to be in the styles of Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse (2018) and some adult animation? 

The upcoming new plot summary could be the same as the one I have covered or in fact, it could be something totally different. The project for the movie could even be cancelled due to issues (unfortunately) or with supposed ‘surprise-tactic’ going in progress.

As we know, the troubles Geronimo faces in the plot summary may sound familiar. The plot may be totally different.

As more updates come, we will be able to get a full idea on the entire film even before the trailer comes out with the help of Atlantyca Entertainment.

[middle-issacjenny1]

BACK! + Shifting

BACK BABY!

But only for some time

Buckle up this is a big post

So while I was away

I tried doing methods and making up a routine for shifting

And holy

I experienced some HEAVY symptoms

I tried first the Estelle method

My intention is to mess about with different methods

And when with whatever method I feel comfortable with I want to combine with the pillow method

Or only do the pillow method

But ANYWAYS

The symptoms I experienced were:

• Heart beating very fast 💓

• A tingling feeling in the limbs🦋

These were the most common when I switched to another method called the Butterfly method

More extreme symptoms than the Estelle method

So I'm sticking with this one for now

So,

I also got a routine

Annnnnnd.....

I COMPLETED MY SCRIPT

Okay, well, tomorrow I complete it but whatever

BUT STILL

BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT

YAY

Okay, um, *ahem*, anyways-

This is my routine that I follow and works ig:

• First, do something accosiated with your Dr (ex; if you're Dr is a game, play the game, if it's a show, watch it etc)

• Next, listen to a playlist of your Dr

• After that, see some shifting motivation vids (helps!)

• Optional: Mess around on c.ai or picrew if you want

• Revise your method one last time

And that's my routine! It helps for me a lot.

And I learnt that the key to Shifting is belief. You have to believe you can shift and that's what helps the most.

So for the people out there who are trying for years

Please dont give up. You're stronger that you think.

And uhhhhhhh

My mum's coming back from vacation or smth idk

So she's going to confiscate my phone for reasons 'I'm NoT StUdYiNg EnOuGh."

Which I'm not

😃 ahem-

So yeah I'll probably be going AGAIN on a hiatus ig

But only on Tuesday

So you'll still be getting updates

Anywaysysysys-

Peace✌️

And happy shifting!

[mbaguideconsulting]

Cracking the Code: How to Write a Winning Harvard MBA Essay

The Harvard MBA Essays are arguably one of the most important—and challenging—parts of your Harvard Business School application. With just one open-ended prompt, HBS gives applicants the rare freedom to tell their story in a personal, compelling, and strategic way. The challenge? Doing it well.

Whether you're applying for the first time or reapplying with lessons learned, understanding the expectations behind the HBS Essay 2024 is essential to crafting a successful application.

Understanding the Harvard MBA Essay Prompt

There’s no word limit, no specific format, and no structured guidelines—intentionally so. HBS wants to see who you are beyond your resume, test scores, and recommendations. They want to hear your authentic story.

Why the Harvard MBA Essay Matters

Your essay is your only real chance to speak directly to the admissions committee in your own voice. It’s not just about listing achievements; it’s about showing growth, leadership, and self-awareness. An impactful Harvard MBA Essay is reflective, focused, and emotionally intelligent.

Admissions officers read thousands of applications each year. What sets the best essays apart is the ability to share a transformative story—one that illustrates not just what you’ve done, but who you are and why you belong at HBS.

Key Elements of a Successful HBS Essay 2024

1. Authenticity Over Perfection

HBS is not looking for perfection. They want to see authenticity. Share what truly matters to you. Whether it's a professional pivot, a personal loss, or an experience that shaped your values—if it's meaningful to you, it can be compelling to them.

Avoid exaggeration or overly polished corporate jargon. The best Harvard MBA Essays read like a conversation with a thoughtful, reflective person—not a LinkedIn bio.

2. Show, Don’t Tell

Avoid generic statements like “I am a natural leader” or “I value diversity.” Instead, show how those qualities have manifested in your life. Use vivid anecdotes and specific examples that give insight into your character and decision-making process.

For example, if you led a team through a crisis, describe the situation, your actions, and the impact—not just the outcome, but what you learned from it.

3. Demonstrate Self-Awareness

The admissions team wants to know that you understand your strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on past challenges and how they’ve shaped you. Have you grown from failures? Are you actively working on your blind spots?

Harvard Business School Essays that highlight self-awareness tend to resonate deeply because they show maturity and the potential for growth—both key traits of future business leaders.

4. Connect Your Story to HBS

While the prompt doesn’t directly ask why you want an MBA or why Harvard, subtly linking your personal journey to what Harvard Business School offers is powerful. Whether it's their case-based learning method, the global alumni network, or the culture of innovation, identify what aligns with your values and ambitions.

That connection can help reinforce why HBS is the right fit for you—and vice versa.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Being too broad or unfocused: Choose a theme or story that anchors your essay and stick with it.

Rehashing your resume: The admissions team already has that information. Use this space to add new depth and perspective.

Trying to please everyone: Don't write what you think HBS wants to hear. Write what you truly believe.

Ignoring structure: While there's no set format, a clear beginning, middle, and end makes your essay more readable and impactful.

Final Thoughts: Writing Your Harvard MBA Essay with Purpose

The HBS Essay 2024 is not just another admissions hurdle. It’s a rare opportunity to reflect deeply on who you are, what drives you, and how an MBA from Harvard fits into your vision for the future.

Start early. Reflect honestly. Write boldly. And most importantly, revise thoroughly. Great essays aren’t written—they’re rewritten.

If you’re still uncertain about where to begin, consider reading Harvard MBA Essays from past admits or seeking professional feedback. But remember, your voice and your journey are your most powerful assets.

[aiz-tea]

Advice on manifesting:

1. Don’t throw away your whole life on it.

Stop revolving your whole life around it and instead use it around your life. I’ve seen this thing where people start procrastinating everything to get into the void or make it a job to affirm. I’m not saying it won’t work but you’re complicating a very simple process. And this also makes you very tense about deadlines as you’re manifesting and you’re half thinking about the things you have to do and how you’re not doing it. Basically, it helps very little.

2. Stop over-consuming resources.

Reading the same thing 4 times doesn’t help. Half of the people on this blog already know the basics which is ‘whatever you assume comes true’. Assume ANYTHING YOU WANT, and persist. It’s that simple. Assume you’re amazing at manifesting and you are in that moment the best at manifesting, your 3D reflects your desires in seconds. Again note that the word used is ‘assume’ not ‘believe’. Circumstances don’t matter. Circumstances. Don’t. Matter. Circumstances don’t matter. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU’LL GET SOMETHING. YOU’LL GET IT.

3. Stop doubting.

Stop diving into doubt every second you get. I know it’s difficult sometimes but think ‘what am I gonna lose if I believe in the law and it doesn’t work?’ a bit of disappointment at worst? Meh that’s worth all the amazing things I’ll get if it is true (spoiler: it is true).

Again this thought process is easier when you’re not skipping everything you have to do and gambling on it. The lesser stress and anxiety you have while manifesting, the better. [i am not saying you can’t manifest with anxiety or stress but it increases the chance of you guys spiralling into a ‘omg why do I not have this’ black hole.]

4. Persist.

*punches your face* violence is not okay but omg you there PERSIST IN YOUR THOUGHTS. You don’t have to believe, just assume and persist. Keep persisting in your delusion. You can say something different from your assumption (though not recommended) but persist in your thoughts.

5. Don’t look for perfection.

You don’t have to do a 10 step manifestation routine. I barely meditate or script or anything. I can’t remember the last time I did some complicated routine thing for manifesting. I do lullaby method but it’s not a obsessive repetition of the affirmations like a robot. I imagine myself in scenarios when I’m about to sleep and then if I’m tired of imagining I randomly affirm whatever comes to my mind like ‘I am so amazing, damn b*tch I really got it all. The world revolves around me. I cant believe I earn tens of thousands of dollars a day; slash that I can. I absolutely deserve the best’ and so on. I affirm I get thousands of dollars one day, another day I affirm I get tens of thousands of dollars. None of that affects my manifestation. You don’t have to consistently have the same one affirmation, just the intention has to be similar to a point. Only your thoughts matter.

And best thing? Even that doesn’t have to be perfect. You can have a bad day and doubt it. It’s fine. Just revise it. And lord you don’t have to do a whole thing of sitting down for SATS then visualising for half an hour to revise. If you like that, do it. But if you do it like a job, please don’t. Just say oh that never happened, I never spiralled, I never doubted the law. You can either do this in your head or out loud. And boom that’s it. One thought revised.

So to summarise on how to manifest:

- assume it’s true and it’s true

- you make the rules, don’t make it too complicated. Everything works for you. All methods work perfectly no matter how you do it.

- just do whatever you’re comfortable with, wherever it be sats or scripting or meditation

- you can revise in seconds by just thinking that never happened or something else happened even just once

- STOP READING TOO MANY RESOURCES AND METHODS AND OBSESSIVELY TRYING THEM. ITS SIMPLE. THINK YOU HAVE IT GO DAMN UWU IM SO HAPPY I HAVE IT NOW LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION. DONE.

- special mention for you idiots who put void on a pedestal and keep trying it twice a day forsaking everything else, honestly just manifest through something else. You’re stressing yourself out. 😭 I’m not saying you can’t get in but GOD YOU ARE THE VOID. Stop putting it on a pedestal and making it this super difficult thing. You are assuming it’s difficult and your god self is manifesting that for you. Use that energy to manifest something else honey. Like all day everyday every second you are the void. You can’t be IN it at only one time cause you’re always it. You are the void. But you might have an assumption that it’s difficult to get what you want instantly. Revise that. You can get it. You’re always in the void and you can get what you want in seconds as long as you assume that. You’re a living walking God. Believe in yourself.