#plus there's some things I'll have to be online for..
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pressplay-if · 20 hours ago
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being less active on this site has given me some spare time, and I'll also be more free during the summer. So, and given I did get asked about it in the past, I could see myself realistically opening a Patreon page. Now, I would want that to be sustainable, and I believe there would only ever be a single tier (5$, I read online that that's a proper amount). Everything else would exhaust me in the long run.
Perks would include progress reports either every week or every two weeks (haven't decided yet), sneak peeks every week or two weeks (also haven't decided yet), and a side story once a month (I believe this is a sustainable pace. The stories wouldn't be very long, probably just different POVs or fun scenarios involving some of the ROs or the MC and their family). I would also ramble a little bit about my writing process every now and again, probably. Plus, I might involve Patreon members in very minor decisionmaking for the story by doing little polls and whatnot, just about little things they'd like to see.
I can't say for sure that a Patreon is happening. But I'm seriously considering the above model. I don't expect anybody to support me. Demo updates would remain free for everybody (maybe Patreon people would get access a little sooner, I haven't made my mind up about that yet). For now, I simply want to find out how many people would be up for something such as that. If you're interested but don't have money lying around to throw at me, a random author on the internet (perfectly understandable), please vote nay.
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a-song-of-many-wishes · 19 days ago
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oof yeah okay shit's hard....
I would take a break from online, social media, but that's both where the good and the bad of my life is happening simultaneously.
I don't know what I would do, not online, as there's not many people I have irl, but I fear continuing to be online also is shitty.
I'll most probably stay online, and really I'll just get over feeling shitty soon enough. I think it's just a period where most of my friends are also feeling quite low, so that instantly brings my mood down by default.
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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Started working on my C lab. Remembered how good of a position I left myself in after last week, so yay!! It won't take too much effort to finish.
I'm not gonna finish before lab tho, both bc I dont really have time (whoops I dragged my feet with starting it this morning) but also I realized. Well the sort functions are self-explanatory. Randomly generate an array and then sort it, timing how long each sort takes to do it. But then the search functions... *what* are we supposed to be searching???? That's. Not stated in the document. So I'm gonna ask the TA about that.
#speculation nation#also i think binary search needs them to be sorted already??? so uh. whats the deal here#but i got the bubble sort function done. gotta put in the code for insertion and selection sorts using the bones from the bubble sort#aka i copy pasted all the time stamp and print shit from the bubble sort to build off of. bc it's the same for these too#just that middle part. the loops themselves. those are different. but i can also find those online easy#also the professor literally Gave us the code in class. but im gonna double check them with online stuff too#just in case. since i wrote them down and he wrote them down on the board. several steps where mistakes could be made#the searches probably wont be difficult either. theyre still taking the same time stamps and printing thing from the sorts#just. searching instead. but *what* are they searching... thats what i need to know.#adding in the increased array sizes will be easy peasy. bc i just need to call the execution function additional times for each array size#then the code will do the rest.#graphing all of this output will take some time But so long as i can find out what im fuckin searching early in the class#i could still finish before the end of lab. plus i think i only really need my code checked off#like i gotta get my lab checked off before i can turn it in. which is why i have to have it done b4 the end of lab#even tho the lab is technically due at 11 pm tonight.#and i have to turn in my code And the graph i make from its output... but i dont Think the graph has to be checked off?? idk.#i'll ask i guess. either way i still feel like i'll finish with plenty of time. i got this 👍
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oldmenthusiast · 8 months ago
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18+ content mdni
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bookshop owner!joel miller x fem plus size reader
warnings: smut, age gap, tension, reader is in her 20s and joel in his 50s, semi public sex, reader wears glasses, not proofread
it takes many job interviews for joel to hire someone until he finds you. you're not the first young thing to apply for the job, not the most qualified either but joel likes how modest you are.
he also likes the way you avoid his gaze if he stares too long, or how you keep pushing your glasses every time they slide down your nose.
those aren't the only things he notices about you because he's become very observant due to his age; it definitely doesn't have to do with some strange infatuation over you, no.
when your hands firmly pull your sundress down if it's too windy, when you smack your own forehead if you mix up the order of the books before switching them again. joel notices that too but it doesn't necessarily mean anything.
“I’ve taken care of the online orders, mister miller.” you inform him as sweet as ever and joel’s crooked smile appears on instinct.
“thank you, sweetheart. you know how people my age are with those machines.”
you're kind enough to shake your head at his response.
“I think you're doing great,sir.” you tell him and it warms his cold heart to the core.
“go home, sugar. I'll close up soon.” he mutters with the same half smile and watches you go but not without wishing him a good day.
during peak season, the bookshop gets naturally busy but to the point where joel and you have to stay overtime.
he doesn't ask it of you but you insist.
“I can't let you do all that by yourself.” you mutter with a faint pout that he wants to kiss away.
“can’t pay you for overtime,sugar—”
“just let me do this for you,sir.” you cut him off and joel doesn't argue further.
that's how his following nights go. you sit together in the back of the store, tons of books and papers surrounding you as you work. you assist him with every single thing he needs and even if you lack knowledge in some parts, you learn it for him.
peak season ends, the bookshop is quiet and your shift ends but you somehow still sit at the back of the store instead of going home. joel sits across you while holding a bottle of beer in his hand.
“a girl your age should go out with friends and have fun, not rot in here with me.” joel tells you with a hint of amusement in his tone.
even if he's right, you do not agree.
“I like it here, it's peaceful..” you explain and as usual your gaze doesn't linger on his. you look away when joel doesn't and it makes the man smile.
“I like it too.” he mutters after a while and tips his head back to down the rest of his beer.
there's hidden intent behind his reply, or maybe just the feeling of wanting to say something more, but joel keeps quiet. whether you notice it or no, you don't say.
joel doesn't pride himself to be the best boss but at least he's a good enough one. that's what he tells himself when your most recent ex partner marches in his bookshop to cause a scene but joel sends him back with a bruised eye and some vulgar words.
it's probably the first time someone has stood up for you like that but it's more special because it comes from joel.
whether it's out of gratitude or suppressed emotions, joel thanks whatever high power has led him to the back of the store again with his body slumped on his chair and you straddling his lap.
“mister miller.” you moan as you sink down his cock, taking him inch by inch until you're fuller than ever.
his calloused hands wrap around your plush thighs and fondle the skin greedily, loving how it spills between his fingers. whatever you're not proud of, joel touches it like it's a treasure.
“I’m a man, not a boy.” he growls when you hesitate to move on him, afraid of crushing him beneath your weight. “fuck yourself on my cock, baby. come on.” one of his hands slaps your ass possessively and his words alone are good enough to give you the confidence that you lack.
once you start moving, it's over for him.
his thighs flex beneath your weight and his cock twitches within you as you ride him, taking him in so perfect.
“so good. my sweet girl. my favourite girl.” he whispers against your cheek and you melt while swaying your hips faster.
his hands clutch harder at your thighs as you bounce on his cock, buzzing with heat and need for more.
the sound of skin slapping, as well as the wet noises that emit with each slide of joel’s hardened cock inside your folds makes everything better. “so wet. you're coating my cock with it, sugar.” he says through gritted teeth as his fingers dig harder into the skin of your ass.
he slaps it once, then twice.
“mister miller!” you cry out when a particularly hard thrust is delivered straight into your sweet spot.
joel buries his face into your neck and grunts as your walls tighten around his cock, claiming his every inch. “so sensitive. bet your boyfriend didn't know how to fuck like this.” and he's probably right by the way your pussy drools and squeezes around him, sucking him in for more.
his lips find your neck and he marks it unapologetically, biting and sucking on whatever skin his mouth can reach.
when he pulls away and presses his back against the creaking chair he's graced by a sight better than any other.
joel watches you ride him, stares as your tits bounce before his face and your crooked glasses struggle to exist because of the force of his thrusts below you.
he definitely can't last long after that and he uses his strength to shove you on the table and tower over you. only then does he realize the pathetic state of your sundress, butchered up around your waist like it's a belt. he slides his cock inside you again and you whimper softly.
“knew you were made for me ever since you walked through that door.” joel growls while fondling your breasts with both hands, his mouth merely occupied with the tender skin on them.
your hands reach for him, gripping the back of his shirt as he fucks you. you're not used to being given things, only to give them yourself. and this much pleasure is overwhelming but it's good because it's joel giving it.
a particular shift of his hips helps him to slide deeper and the sensation causes you both to moan in unison.
“I won’t last, sweet girl.” he croaks between the space of your breasts while sucking one of your nipples into his mouth.
you can say the same as the stimulation brings you closer to the edge and your eyes can barely stay open at some point.
his hips follow a fast and intrusive pace, and every time joel’s hips collide against the back of your thighs it makes your skin jiggle. you feel embarrassed but not for long as joel drags his lips against yours.
“the prettiest girl. there's nothing better than you, sweetheart.” joel whispers and you kiss him before he does.
your mouths melt so perfectly, your noses brushing intimately, and if joel could bring you any closer he would.
“there.” you beg against his lips when the tip of his cock hits that perfect spot within you.
“here?” he asks teasingly and makes his thrusts purposely rougher. your legs shake around him and he does it again. and again. and again.
the bookshop is filled with your cries and begging. “i’m coming— I can't—” you mumble incoherently but joel gets it as he speeds it up.
you watch his hand disappear between your bodies and you don't question it until you feel that excellent brush of fingers against your clit, accompanied by his savage thrusts into your weeping pussy.
“joel.” his informal name falls off your lips so well and he has to remind himself to breath when you say it as you come around his cock with a cry.
it takes everything in him to not spill everything within you right there.
“where? where, baby?” he asks as he grounds his hips and hopes you'll get it.
“I'm on the pill.” you so graciously tell him while squeezing your thighs around his waist and joel nearly says thank you because of what a desperate bastard he is.
it only takes a few more thrusts for him to let go and come inside you, his hands abandoning your breasts to pull you down by your hips.
your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel every drop pour into you and fill you up. it briefly shocks you that he's still coming — he's still filling you up with his seed and groaning against you.
“there’s so much.” you mutter breathlessly as he nuzzles his face against yours. joel simply hums and uses one of his hands to caress the bare side of your hip, keeping you relaxed.
“we’re not opening tomorrow.” he tells you in his usual tone of authority.
“it’s thursday.” you tell him.
“good day to go out and eat,yeah?” joel pulls back enough to look at you and he stares at you knowingly. his words bring a smile to your lips, one that he wants to treasure forever.
you nod then, giving him your acceptance.
“yeah. it is a good day to eat out.” his hand moves from your hip to fix your crooked glasses with a fond expression. the glint in his eyes speaks louder than any sentence.
“maybe you should keep your calendar empty for this month. or year.” his words amuse you but you're aware that it's far from a joke — he isn't asking. your eyes regard him as gently as always and you smile that way just for him. “yes mister miller.”
he was glad to have hired you.
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ask-codeearasure · 6 months ago
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Killer (collectively) whenever Color's at his two hour therapy appointment and has to run a couple errands before he gets home, so he has no one to filter out his ideas and he's stuck with them for a total of at least four hours and he's home alone so he could do ANYTHING productive before Color gets back but he's too bored to do anything convenient cause it's not entertaining enough and then he realizes he forgot what love feels like and has to imagine it and then when Color finally gets back he has another realization that his imagination was not accurate to the affection he wanted AT ALL and he just repulsed himself thanks a lot, Killer:
-- Sarco
killer the type of fella to have romantic fantasies about an unavailable person precisely because they’re unavailable (emotionally especially)
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thatdiabolicalfeminist · 7 days ago
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Hey everyone, I’m sorry I haven't been online much lately, my health has been very poor recently and my life has been overwhelming.
I'm tdf, I’ve been here since 2014, and I’m stuck in bed most of the time because of debilitating long-term health issues.
My income is roughly 1/3 of the local minimum wage.
As a person with significant physical health issues, I need things healthy people don’t. I also don’t have the option of just working more, as I’m already pushing myself past all safe limits and getting sicker over time as a result.
I’m so, so sorry for asking, but I don’t have other options.
I have had to borrow almost $200 for groceries already this month and there's still two more weeks before I get paid where I'll need groceries.
The prescription vitamin injections I need bc I'm chronically deficient are gonna cost about $27, plus shipping if I can't get someone to pick them up for me as I don't drive.
I'm also running low on various hygeine and cleaning essentials, like lysol wipes and shampoo, and on some of my otc supplements and medications.
If any financially secure adult would like to help me get by, I’d be SO grateful for either:
a walmart e card so I can buy groceries/soap/etc, sent to [email protected] (this starts at $5, can be sent anon or not)
or
anything from my food/necessities list (some items on there are <$6 and any of it can also be sent anon or not)
I really, really dread having to do this. Thank you so much for being understanding about my need to ask!
🌻🌻🌻
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kathaynesart · 29 days ago
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How many years do you think Replica, as a comic, will last? I’ve seen some webcomics last for ten years even. Honestly, a tiny part of me thought this would disappear like so many others(not just ROTTMNT stories, but other original comics online, and understandly so, you go on to other interests or life gets in the way), but seeing Replica still going strong is really neat.
Thank you! Honestly I don't have an answer for that. At my current rate, probably another 3-4 years? Though my hope is I'll keep getting quicker.
Frankly I'm just as surprised as you that I'm still here. This was SUPPOSED to be a short comic that I had originally planned to finish in about 3 months with maybe 10 updates max. Now I'm working on Chapter 42 and nearing the end of Book 1 of my two Book series.
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When I put it that way it all feels a little overwhelming, so I just take it day by day and always make sure to come at it from a place of fun. If I don't feel like drawing it that day, I don't draw it. I don't let the pressure get to me, and instead use it purely as a creative outlet. I wasn't drawing much for myself outside of work before Rise, and this story gives me the chance to do what I love most which is tell stories.
Being an older gal, this story really speaks to me as someone who was a goofy kid that had to grow up (but not old) while keeping a hopeful outlook even as things got tough. I love how I can share this real world experience in a way people of all ages can understand (plus I see a lot of myself and my irl best friends in these characters so it makes it really easy to write them).
Finally, a lot of it also has to do with this wonderful community and all the amazing people I've met who have supported and inspired me these past few years! All of your comments mean the world to me and I want to continue telling this story because so many of you have voiced your love for it. It just makes me happy to know that people enjoy the things I create. I can't promise I'll finish this big story... I never know what life might have in store for me, but I'm grateful to be along for the ride. Thank you!
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sirxlla · 6 months ago
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The Qilin Test
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Warnings: Fluff
Prompt: Meeting all Damian's pets (minus the dragon bat he apparentally has 😀 [im concerned for him a bit]) requested by @alexamars17
Notes: The title is a Harry Potter reference, Female Reader, italics are actions and thoughts.
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-With that said it's all under the cut-
Meeting a billionare's son online was probably not on your bingo yard for the year... Definitely not something that Damian would ever think would happen but alas Jason had set up a dating profile for his little brother. (No matter how old Damian got Jason always called him his little brother cuz he knew a pissed him off.)
"Online datings tragic at best or its for casual sex, no one actually finds anyone that way." Damian rolled his eyes as his brothers attempts to get him back into the dating pool.
"Come on it'll be fun and plus you're more tolerable when you have a girlfriend." Jason just wanted him to try it, Damian had been miserable for months after Raven left him.
"Plus you wont have to worry about her reading your mind and shit cause chances are she'll be human and she wont be able to do that hoodoo voodoo stuff on you."
"Fine, Todd but if this goes south..." Damian huffed unhappy, Jason had probably made it all stupid in general and was doing this as some sorta prank or something.
"Just try it." Jason handed Damian his phone back, the profile was actually set up fairly nice considering Jason did it. It was clear to Damian at that moment that Jason was serious, a little light shone through the broken state of his heart that Raven left him in.
It had been months since Raven and he really had loved her but she had looked inside and saw memories he didnt want anyone to know about...Then she threw them in his face during an argument. He still loved her but he couldnt be with someone who chastised him for his past.
Anyways, he decided to give this a try and he found the girl that he just instantly clicked with. He could talk about whatever was interesting to him and she had no issue talking back to him about it. He was talking booby traps, grave guns and how during WW2 they would make bombs out of things that look like regular objects...
Damian found himself thinking about her during the day and he found himself staying up late just so that he could talk to her. They met up once but they were both extremely nervous and that was extremely obvious, the date had got cut short because of paparazzi...you know with him being Damian Wayne and all?
The next time he met you he decided that it would be a really good idea to introduce you to his pets, pets tended to make things go a lot smoother and everyone was a lot less nervous around a pet. He was so nervous that Titus might not like you...Bat-Cow liked everyone and Alfred was a cat so he was to be expected of a cat.
You came over to Wayne Manor where he told you to meet him, gentlemanly he opened your drivers side door for you and held out his hand. Reaching out to grab his hand you got out of your car and walked behind him, your hand still in his, he was suprisingly so gentle.
"Okay so I have three pets...I'll show you the biggest and most loveable- I mean they all are really but everyone loves her." He guided you through the yard and twords the little barn area he had built especially for her and your mind wandered to curiousity.
Damian keeps your hand in his so you dont trip cause its a little slick. Good thing he told you to dress casual. He gently guided you in and you saw the big white and brown cow.
"Oh, My- Wow. Oh, she'd beautiful! And so cute." You squealed over the cow. Each word that you said made him fall deeper and deeper into the love that you was already feeling for you.
"She's got a little bat symbol around her eyes that's why we call her BatCow." Of course you could only tell you partially what the reason was cause he hadn't told you his entire family is full of vigilantes.
"Oh, my god! Thats so cute and so clever!" Your eyes lit up as he explained that, his broken heart was being quickly mended and put back together by you, it swelled at the sound of your amusement.
Damian let you feed her and pet her for a bit before asking if you wanted tonmeet his other animals. This is where he was nervous, Titus listed with little issue but of courss but he was still worried about him liking you.
Using your hand he guided you up twords the manor. Of course you were in awe cause this place was beautiful so he walked slow. Once he got in he whistled and the dog came with little issue, Titus was well trained and well behaved but he definitely made his opinions very obvious.
Titus sniffed around her to see how he felt about her, curious sniffs quickly turned to him yipping like a puppy and turning around to get his toy for you to throw.
Damian smiled, the tension in his shoulders dissipating. He had never seen him act like this with someone that he just met but he seemed extremely happy and extremely trusting of you. Considering most people say that dogs can tell what type of person someone is without even being around them for long, this was a good sign.
Titus came back with the toy and you threw it and he went and got it and brought it back, yipping and wagging his body and tail. Whilst you and Titus played Alfred the Cat decided to come out abd brush up against you.
"Was this a dream?" Damian almost asked himself cause of how well it was going.
"Awww, Hello little kitty!" You doted on both his indoor pets instantly like they were your own and his love for you just increased ten fold, he'd never let anything hurt you not now when he was so completely enthralled with you.
"That's Alfred Pennyworth the cat, he's named after the butler and this is Titus." He introduces the animals formally.
"They're just the cutest little guys." You were just so happy and they were just so adorable.
"Little guys?" He thought, he didnt even notice the smile on your face and the way you treated every animal as if it was as small as a chipmunk and how they all got equal love. If he didn't know you were the one before, he definitely knew now.
Over time Titus took on the role of protecting you the same way he protected Damian. Both you and Damian too care of Bat-Cow and Alfred came and went as he pleased, if you sat still long enough he coiled himself up ontop of you. Damian had his own little perfect family and it was even remotely complete without you.
(Send me prompts if youd like.)
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ysrjune · 2 months ago
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please i am begging for a teen dad! scott barringer x gf!reader where they go to the farmers market or something when their baby is still a toddler like 1 1/2 and just some super cute fluff with scott holding the baby and just adorable moments in general please 🙏
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I've never been to a farmers market, so I chose the grocery store ANDD added other scenarios for u. Enjoy 💜
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You insisted that your boyfriend just take the baby carrier with you guys inside the store, but he wasn't for it. "I can hold him. Plus, there's a seat meant for kids on the carts, so if I get tired, I'll just put him in there." Scott tells you.
Thank God that you had made a list of what you needed. Neither of you could remember from the top of the head what was missing back at home. "Milk, cereal, fruit.." You side eye Scott as you're about to read the next thing listed. "4 bags of goldfish?"
Scott looks at you and nods. "Who put that ther-Was it you??" He raises his eyebrow at the baby boy. The baby covers his mouth with his small chubby hand and then shoves it in there. "Yeah, Leo did it." Scott tsks and looks back at you. "Little trouble maker already, aren't you?" He removes the baby's hand from his mouth. "Don't do that. That's disgusting." Scott sighs and pulls a napkin from his hoodie pocket and wipes off the drool.
You roll your eyes and cross out the goldfish. Maybe one bag was okay, but you needed to stick to the actual list.
At your parents' house, there was no room for you and the baby, but luckily, Scott's house was way big enough. 2 stories and had a guest room that they turned into a nursery. You switched to online school during the middle of your pregnancy, and to 'pay back' your in-laws, you cooked and cleaned around the house while they were at work and Scott was at school.
Scott had Leo in the cart seat, pushing the cart as he followed you around. He was talking to the baby about how he was gonna switch schools next month.
"That school I'm enrolling in after winter break is supposed to help me graduate faster if I have enough credits." He tells the baby. "And it's allll because of you. Thanks a lot, pal." He grins and plays with the babies hair. He ran into the back of your ankles a few times, and everytime, he blamed Leo. "He was distracting me, babe. Honest!"
He ended up just carrying Leo the rest of the time as he helped you shop. "Oh, we need bacon and chicken legs. Can you make those again? The legs? Like, fried but not with flour? It's really good. I like it." Scott was daydreaming about what you would make for dinner the next week. He thinks your cooking is so good. Before you moved in, he had to deal with his mom's weekly spaghetti, un-well seasoned porkchops, and whatever frozen food was in the freezer.
"Your brother is so cute!" The cashier lady tells Scott with a sweet smile. He knew she meant well, but it still bothered him. Hell, it bothered him being a dad. A teen-dad at that, but it was all worth it because he loves you and Leo. Even if it's hard here and then. "Thanks," Scott mutters and takes his dad's card out of his wallet to pay. Yes, his dad pays.. it's groceries.
When Leo was 5 and actually able to talk, Scott's life got even better. He could actually have a whole conversation with him now, even if Leo was sort of.. annoying sometimes.
"Daddy," Leo rubs his eye with one hand, standing in front of the TV. "Yeah, buddy, what's up?" Scott asks, moving his head around to catch an angle of the TV where he could see the whole screen while his son was in front of it. "Hey man, you mind moving really quick, please? I'm watching the game." Scott says, still trying to catch that angle.
"Daddy, you know I watch the kangaroo song after I nap." Leo pouts. "Yeah Leo, I know that, but look, we can watch it after daddy watches the game, okay? This is a really good game so far and I really wanna-" "Kangaroo song. Kangaroo song, Kangaroo song," Leo says while jumping up and down. "KANGAROO SONG!" Leo yells. "ALRIGHT!!" Scott yells back in frustration. It doesn't scare the boy, though. He just laughs.
Scott groaned and went to go fetch the dvd for it and then inserted it into the dvd player. "Ya little brat." He rolls his eyes, flopping on the floor, listening to the damn Kangaroo song. He hated it so much, but if Leo didn't hear it after his naps, he'd get into a mood. Worse than Scott's.
Leo was hopping around to the song with a big smile on his face, singing along. Scott knew Leo was gonna replay it over and over again, so he turned to his side and decided to tune it out and take a nap. It was finally summer, and he thought that it'd be a chill one, but no. You were either out with your friends or parents (which was well deserved since you always took care of Leo while Scott was busy with school, football, and going out when appropriate) And Scott was here dealing with the 5 year old.
It was finally Scott's 21st birthday, and his parents threw him a surprise party after coming back from running stupid unnecessary errands all day. "No way, you guys did all this?" Scott smiles and hugs you, his mom and then his dad. "We did. Your dad just bought the stuff." His mom laughs. "Happy birthday, honey." She smiles and kisses his cheek.
Obviously, there was alcohol, music, dancing, drinking games, friends and family.. and kids. The backyard was really big, so there were activities out there for them. A bouncy house, toys and playhouse, swings, and everything kids like.
After running around for a while, Leo came back thirsty. The first thing he saw on the table where you and Scott were sitting was a cup half filled with an amber liquid. In Leo's mind, it was apple juice. You both didn't register your son reaching for the cup, too engaged in a conversation with a few friends from highschool. Once you heard a gag and noticed the cup drop to the floor, you looked at who dropped it. "LEO! What're you doing!" Scott reaches for his crying son.
"Leo, what were you thinking?!" You open a water bottle and give it to him. "I'm sorry mama, I thought it was juice!!" He cries, thinking he was going to be spanked. Upon hearing that, Scott starts to laugh. "Juice? Dude, you're totally insane." He keeps laughing and now stroking the boys head. "It's okay, you made a mistake. The juices are in the cooler over there. Go get one." Scott says, calming the boy down while also pointing to the blue cooler.
"I'm sorry daddy." Leo apologizes again. "It's okay, buddy." Scott replies and kisses the boys forehead. "Go play around for a little while before it's time for bed." He takes him off of his lap and gently pushes Leo to go over to play
"That was hilarious." Scott begins to laugh again. "Poor baby. He was so scared." You frown, now watching how Leo was drinking a caprisun and walking over to his cousins and friends. "He'll forget about it in an hour." Scott shrugs and holds onto your thigh. "Trust me he's gonna be okay."
Leo has an obsession with dinosaurs and gorillas. Like, he watches every movie he can that has them. So ofcourse his favorite movies are Ice Age: Dawn of the dinosaurs, and Tarzan. Scott actually likes Tarzan. He thinks it's sort of stupid, but either way, his eyes are always glued to the screen. His favorite character is Tantar.
His favorite in Ice Age is Buck and Rudy. He thinks Rudy is so badass. Well.. he likes all of them, actually. Especially Crash and Eddie. Again—they're so stupid, but he can't take his eyes off the TV.
Leo liked Tarzan so much that he always asked you or Scott to sing him the lullaby that the mom sang to Tarzan at the beginning. It put him right to sleep, so your answer was always yes when he wanted you to sing it to him. Scott never let you around when he'd sing. It was only for Leo's ears.
• Scott has a photo of you holding Leo in the hospital in his wallet.
• Leo is a perfect mix of you and Scott.
• Leo is such a sweetheart. He's very nice but he can also be a handful sometimes.
• Scott carries Leo around all the time or holds his hand.
• Leo is such a mommas boy, but he loves his daddy too.
When Leo was born, Scott held him in the corner of the room while you were asleep. He was in a chair, a blanket on his lap. Leo was staring at his dad through half lidded eyes. "I can't believe this." Scott thinks to himself. "I'm a dad. A 16 year old dad in 10th grade. Should've used a condom."
He admired the way the baby looked so soft and warm (he was) and felt his heart ache when Leo would yawn or begin to let out small whines. Scott wasn't the best at knowing what to do right off the bat, so he just assumed that Leo wanted to be rocked. It worked, thankfully.
People at your school knew you were pregnant and they knew who the dad was, but when you stopped coming to school, they sort of forgot about it until they tried to stalk yours and Scott's social media for updates. The only thing they saw was Scott's profile picture which was you and him at your baby shower.
He keeps things private. He doesn't even really talk about it with his friends unless they ask, and even then, he keeps it simple and short. He gets stares all the time around campus when somehow everyone found out that you had given birth. Must've been one of his 'friends' that said something. It was really annoying because even the teachers knew.
"So how's the baby?" Mr. Justin asks in front of the whole class one day. Scott looks up from his lab table and shrugs. "He's good."
"Oh, so it's a boy? What's his name?"
Scott wanted to roll his eyes so bad but he kept himself from it. "Leonardo." He says, not loud enough for everyone in the classroom to hear. But the teacher repeated it. "Leonardo Barringer. Cool." The man nods. "How's dad life treating you?"
"I like it." Scott shrugs.
"You take care of the baby?" Anorher damn question? When will this guy shut up?!
Scott decided to lie because he didn't want everyone to know his business. "No, I go over to my girlfriends house during the day and then she takes care of him at night and I go home."
"Makes sense since she's the mom." Mr. Justin nods. "Well, you're lucky you don't have to wake up to a crying baby all the time." He chuckles and goes back to the lesson.
Scott could feel everyone staring, but he just kept writing notes in his notebook. He knew they were judging, but he didn't care because what he said wasn't true.
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big daddy reference lol also sorry I couldn't think of anything else is like 2am rn and I'm getting sleepy
@bxbyysstuff @anakinstwinklebunny @lovethestarrs @valloos @anisangeldust @xo-yaaaaaasxo @anakinca @dollfilmz @alexlovesysrjune @sockiess @sythethecarrot @speaknow-sw @loveamira @alealuvshayden @mvst4far
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coralinnii · 1 year ago
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Congrats on reaching the 2.7 K followers milestone!! If it's okay to ask why specifically 2.7 K?
anyways I heard you were taking requests so I'll request something to celebrate with you :-D
I was wondering if you could do one where Idia, Kalim, Azul, Riddle rejects Fem!reader but ends up falling for reader after that, how would they react when they need to reject her and when the realization of them liking her back hits? (I tried to come up with an og idea but idrk if this one is actually good enough writing material :'-D)
 ‧₊˚✧ Waking up Too Late ‧₊˚✧
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↳ Realizing their feelings for fem!reader after rejecting you 
feat: Idia ❋ Kalim ❋ Azul ❋ Riddle genre: slight hurt/comfort, open ending note: no pronouns were used but reader is written as a female in mind, reader can be interpreted as Yuu!reader, 
Question: Why specifically 2.7K? Well... I wanted to do something when I reached 2k but by the time I finished my initial wave of requests and WIPs, it already reached 2.7K ^_^" There wasn't a real rhyme or reason... I was just really late to the game
extra note: the joke in the start of Azul’s section doesn’t mean anything bad about him in general. It’s just Azul reminds me too much of myself during my younger days and I wasn't the biggest fan of myself back then.
Also, if anyone is wondering... I haven't stopped writing. I was just unable to find time for myself during the last 3 months because my classes and work didn't leave me time to do much outside of that. Seriously, I had assignments due on weekdays AND weekends! If none of you know who I am or didn't even realize I was gone... ignore me and have a good day ^_^
2.7K Followers Writing Event 2023
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The Big Ooff
Regardless of Idia’s feelings before or after the confession, he rejected you in fear of change. He was content with the way things are, where he doesn’t have to worry about things like romance and relationships. 
Idia can’t imagine being the main protagonist for anything. He’s not the cool main hero or the handsome prince that gets the pretty girl. That's for the extroverts with high charm specs (a.k.a not him). Afterall, when does the NPC ever win? 
So when you, his friend and confidant, his solace and only exception, told him that you held feelings more than friendship…well, his system short-circuited. 
While the two of you said it wouldn’t change your friendship, you still wanted time away from him to heal the hurt. Idia agreed that the risky emotional roll dealt some real backlash to both of you.
The Realization
Idia tried to deny it, but he started imagining an alternative universe where he did accept your confession that fateful day. 
If he were to zone out during his level grinding sessions, he would vaguely envision himself in the same position, but perhaps with you lying next to him or even running your fingers through his flames. These daydreams would surprise him literally off the bed, his aforementioned flames burning a cute pinkish hue.
Some days when he’s browsing around online shops, he would occasionally encounter items that remind him of you.
Now, that in itself is not new but rather it was when he imagined how cute you would be if he got these items for you. Instead of your usual pleasantly surprised thank you, would you lovingly embrace him, maybe even kiss-! 
Ortho was startled to see his brother suddenly falling off his gaming chair, with his hands suspiciously covering his face. 
Crap, not only did he realize his feelings for you (which in hindsight probably was not surprising in the least), but he actually would like to be in a stupid lovey-dovey relationship with you. 
His Next Moves?
Continues to deny everything. So what if he wants a relationship with you? He can’t handle this new step even with these newly realized emotions. Plus, he was the one who blew his own shot by rejecting you the first time. 
So, he falls to his coping mechanism which is to deny everything and that he’s perfectly fine the way things are. 
When the two of you returned to your typical routine, he tried to keep things the way it used to be, as the same with you. 
Except it’s not quite the same. 
You weren’t sure if you were being conscious or that it’s been a while since you two hung out, but you felt that Idia was slightly more…attentive you could say?
He would give you first bids of the better controller before picking anything himself. If you seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable while sitting, the blue-flamed senior would offer you a comfier spot on his bed and a blanket if you wanted, before sputtering that he meant nothing weird about it.
He says he’s fine, but Idia’s is in no way the usual closed-off, sometimes cocky genius you knew before. He’s jittery, more prone to shriek and burst into pink flames to any of your gestures, and according to his little brother his heartbeat is slightly faster than usual. 
It’s weird…it’s like he actually acknowledges you as a woman…
Oh.
“Ahh, I seriously chose the wrong choice option. The story path…I wonder if I could still salvage a good ending…”
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The Big Ooff
Kalim’s overly friendly nature, while harmless, is somewhat misleading and confusing to those around him. I mean, if someone threw a grand luxurious party for you, it’s easy to assume that you were someone special. Unfortunately, Kalim is simply just…too friendly. He would do this and more for just about anyone, no matter how special they may or may not be.
Nonetheless, you still wanted to tell him your feelings. You wanted to tell him how his smile and laugh hastens your heartbeat as you smile back. That you feel butterflies every time he extends his hands to you, coaxing you to dance with the boisterous Housewarden of Scarabia. 
To everyone’s genuine surprise, the snow-haired student sincerely apologized to you, not able to return your feelings the same way. All of your friends and also Scarabia was so sure that their Housewarden thought differently of you, but news quickly spread that Kalim never thought about being more than friends with you.
The Realization
To clarify, Kalim never thought about being more than friends with anyone. He’s happy to have so many friends, what more could he possibly want?
But your words did shake him mentally. He never realized that you would feel this way for him. On days when he can’t keep track of the lessons at hand, his mind would doze off and wander back to your confession. 
“Hastening heartbeat, feelings of butterflies, always wanting to smile when you do…”
The more he thinks about your love symptoms, he’s realizing how similar those feelings were to his own when he’s around you. It was why he would always try to find you in a crowd, or why he wanted to be your dance partner on any occasion. Sure, he’s happy to be around everyone, but he feels especially good when it's you.
The pieces are connecting, the clogs are aligning, and soon…
“JAMIL, I THINK I’M IN LOVE TOO!” 
“IS YOUR LACK OF INTROSPECTION THIS BAD?!”
His Next Moves?
Man is now a fool in love. He has this goofy smile on his boyish face at the slightest mention of you. Everytime he thinks about you, he keeps attempting to buy one or two grand bouquets of flowers for you, each flower as beautiful as you, much to Jamil’s chagrin as the vice-Housewarden has to keep reminding him of a crucial fact. 
“You two aren’t dating. Actually worse considering your prior actions.” 
Jamil’s brutal but accurate words brought Kalim back to harsh reality as he realized his mistake in not realizing his feelings soon enough. But not one to wallow in the past, Kalim sought to tell you his feelings just as you bravely did before. 
Whether I personally think if that’s a smart move is irrelevant
Whatever your response is to him, Kalim would fully respect your choice, prioritizing your comfort and feelings over his newly uncovered ones. Despite his well intentions and honest feelings before the realization, his carelessness hurt you and he needed to consider your healing process. 
Kalim would still act like a love-sick fool, however. Buying beautiful trinkets because he thought of you but won’t push them onto you if you couldn’t handle the heavy sentiment (thank Jamil for that). 
Though a little more sheepishly, he would still extend his hand to you hoping for a dance, small little gestures to make you smile even the slightest bit brighter…all this and more because “I like you” and nothing else.
Just because he’s slow in figuring things out, his feelings won’t change so easily. This special feeling of happiness, of love… he’s grateful that you taught him this whole new world.
"I’m a little much? Haha, sorry. I get really happy when I see you...It feels nice being in love with you.”
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The Big Ooff
Please reconsider 
Ahem. Azul has grown accustomed to your presence. Perhaps even look forward to it throughout his daily routine, even assisting you in whatever trouble you always seem to get involved in. Some would accuse him of favoritism, but Azul argued that he was simply a gentleman treating a lady right.
He’s too observant to not notice that these sentiments are somewhat mutual. He thought of you as too kind and generous as to spend your spare time helping him around the lounge or to keep him company when the Leech twins get a little much. 
But he was surprised to learn that your feelings were deeper than he initially predicted. There was such sincerity in your voice as you confess your feelings that it shook Azul to his core and turned his human legs weak. 
However, he still had so many aspirations he hasn’t reached yet, opportunities he can’t miss. He can’t afford to split his time for something like romance, something that didn't register to him as urgent in the first place. Love is all well and good, but success is better and more tangible.
He’s careful with his words, gratefully thanking you for your confession and complimenting you with a list of traits he admired about you. 
But you should know Azul by now. He’s hyping you up before ultimately giving you crushing news. Like a company recruiter telling you weren’t chosen despite your apparent talents. 
You knew this, but it still hurts to have your dynamic treated equivalent to that of a business relation. 
The Realization
Azul understood you needed time away. Certain things were said that can’t be taken back and it’ll be a while before you two could feel comfortable around each other again. 
During this time though, the Housewarden truly felt your absence. He feels it when someone else takes a seat in his office where you usually occupy, when his mealtime feels less fulfilling because you weren’t there to enjoy it with him, when his headaches get worse from stress and you weren’t there to lend a comforting hand. 
This sense of void was like a stream of cold water slowly trickling into his body and mind until he felt heavy and almost drowning. What an odd sensation for a deep-sea merman. 
His mind became cluttered. He can’t focus on his work when all he could think about is where you might be and what you were doing. 
He reached his limit when he realized that he couldn’t even hide this internal conflict from Jade or Floyd when their keen eyes pick on every moment of his loss of focus, and they have an inkling as to the cause. 
…Dear Sevens, he might have made a great miscalculation on his own feelings.
His Next Moves?
First off, he’s going to spend some time in his pot. He needs some personal time reflecting over his own obliviousness and self-sabotage. 
Once that’s over, he now has to figure out how to remedy this. A plan to get back into your good graces after the blunder. 
He is a greedy merman. If he’s going to do something, he wants the best outcome possible, which is you forgiving him and accepting him while forgetting the past even happened.  
He’s read through countless relationship books, advice found online, and personal intel that his schoolmates were forced to generous enough to offer under an NDA. 
He’ll use the knowledge he remembered from your confession to his advantage, highlighting the parts of himself that he knew you liked about him. He shows off his good side in hopes to reignite what attracted you to him. 
If there’s anything to expose his intent with you, it’s the flush of his pale skin when you finally thanked him with that sweet smile he missed so much.
"I’m not one to lose an opportunity when within my reach. However long it takes, I’ll earn back what I’ve foolishly lost.”
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The Big Ooff
Riddle was, in all seriousness, taken aback by your confession.
The studious Housewarden of Heartslabyul is definitely smart, but he’s just slightly lacking in the people-reading department. 
To him, you were simply a very loving person. He thought perhaps you were on the shyer side but always worrying about his well-being, making sure he’s taken breaks and to enjoy himself between his duties.
You were still a little rambunctious as lately you seem at odds with Ace as you’re quick to smack and silence the mischievous redhead who seems to snicker more often than usual as of late. 
Frankly, you left him stunned, his face similar to a deer in headlights. No textbook or lecture has prepared him to reply back to your sincere confession. 
In the end, he rejected you while giving his full honesty. Silly things like love and relationships were subjects he never thought to consider in depth, and he wasn’t sure it was something he wanted at the moment. 
He tried to explain the best he could, but you couldn't stop the aching feeling of your heart breaking. 
The Realization
Your relationship with Riddle took a blow but it was not destroyed. Albeit some awkwardness here and there, life flows relentlessly as usual. 
But that fateful day would occasionally sneak its way into Riddle’s mind during his spare moments to himself, recalling your determined face, coupled with his memories of your beautiful, clear eyes.
Nowadays, his heart would tighten, his throat would feel dry, and his breathing would be shallower whenever his thoughts sway towards you. 
Spurred by these odd symptoms, he finally looked more into the topic of love. The more he delved into talks on relationships, seminars on emotional attraction, and even tropes from novels, the more it feels as though he’s going down a rabbit hole of new emotional discoveries. 
For a while, the Heartslabyul dorm was on edge as they feared for their necks every time their terrifying Housewarden suddenly turned franticly scarlet out of nowhere.
Alone in Riddle’s room, surrounded by articles and books littered on his once pristine desk, Riddle found his conclusion; he’s in love too
His Next Moves?
Riddle isn’t actually sure how to approach you anymore. This whole “in love” experience is all too new to him. He couldn’t bring up this embarrassing topic with any of his peers, and much less with his mother (Sevens knows he doesn’t exactly want to replicate a relationship like his parents). 
But he couldn’t handle the sudden sensations of nerves that occur every time he’s close to you. He can’t keep up constantly chastising himself internally for flinching every time he passes a tart or a teacup to you during Unbirthday parties. 
He can no longer focus during his study sessions with you as he’s now fighting with himself as he dreams to hold your free hand or to brush a stray lock of hair from your endearing face. 
Was it as difficult to deal with as it was for you? Was this the reason you decided to confess to him? But the thought of speaking to you about something so intimate invokes nerves in him that he couldn’t understand.
No, he should learn from your example. If the natural progression of his feelings should be clear communication between those involved, then he will face this challenge as confidently as he does with any other. 
Prepare yourself, the stubborn Riddle has made a goal for himself. 
“I admit my inexperience has hurt those I cherish. Next time, I will respond to your bravery in kind.” 
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clovers-housetree · 11 months ago
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Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)
(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)
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This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.
Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:
Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!
I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.
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I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^
Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.
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♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!
With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!
For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!
Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!
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♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)
I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!
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♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!
Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!
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(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)
You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0
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♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!
Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3
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Finch
Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!
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You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!
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Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!
They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3
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This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6
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It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!
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"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"
"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"
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unforth · 6 months ago
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As I deepen my study with Chinese, the more I'm struck by how word meanings work. The monolingual USAdians I know or encounter online, who studied only as much as needed to get through school, really do seem to think languages are plug and play: know the word in both languages, and swap.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. There's on Chinese word, 稳当 (wĕn dang), that's really struck me for that. Because my flashcards give three translations for 稳当: reliable, secure, and stable. And in English these words are all fairly different! Clearly related but very much do not mean the same thing. How can one Chinese word mean these three different concepts? Well, of course, it doesn't. 稳当 means 稳当, some fusion of those three concepts we have words for in English but not quite any of them, that makes it appropriate to use in places where English would use any of those three. There are surely shades of meaning, and which interpretation of the meaning is most appropriate to a given context will be understood upon reading.
Now, expand this understanding - that a word doesn't mean (exact direct swap in English) but rather the word means the word, and we approximate it to the closest English equivalent we can - to *every single word in every single sentence in an entire book.*
Then translate that book.
Translation is an art, not a science, requiring tremendous verisimilitude in *both* languages, and an understanding of the story, and a deep familiarity with the culture (social, historical, linguistic, etc.) of the original work, and often knowledge of the authors intent (if possible to ascertain), and a range of other skills. Translation will always be interpretive and transformative, because (word in one language) doesn't precisely mean (word in another language). They're not "the same." If I present you a sentence with 稳当 in it, does it mean stable, reliable, or secure? Well that depends. On what? How it's being used, the surrounding context, other factors, and of course... the reader or translators interpretation.
It drives me insane when I see people present alternate translations as some kind of "gotcha" that one translator got things wrong. And don't get me wrong - of course some translations ARE just wrong, obviously if I translate 稳当 to mean "goldfish" I'm not interpreting I'm just incorrect. But beyond obvious mistakes, a world of nuance exists, and different translators can in good faith reach different conclusions on the most appropriate translation. This is WHY famous books not in English get translated repeatedly by different people, and why a reader would want to read multiple translations of the same work - to see, in different translations, some shadow of the wonderful nuance embodied by the original words that do not, and cannot, simply be swapped 1 to 1 for a perfect English translation. And this is *especially* true of a language like Chinese, which is ancient and beautiful and deeply steeped in understandings of Chinese history and literature.
Why do you think I and many others are studying Chinese for years? For me, it's all so I can read the actual books myself and get that much closer to the story, that much closer to my own interpretation. I'll never have the skills of a knowledgeable translator - this isn't my profession, it's my hobby - but I'll gleen things nonetheless and it's important to me to try.
Too many of yall disrespect those skills so much that you'll throw a sentence of a language you know nothing about into Google translate and then declare the translator Wrong (and sometimes Bad and Malicious) based on that.
稳当 means 稳当. It doesn't mean "reliable." It doesn't mean "the exact translation of 稳" plus "the exact translation of 当". It's a Chinese word with a Chinese definition that we retrofit English on to.
And the hardest part? Look, I'm still a Chinese novice. For all I fucking know, 稳当 actually MIGHT have three distinct definitions. Everything I said about it above might be wrong. I don't know enough Chinese yet to know for sure, and that's a level of nuance and understanding I'll only reach by reading more.
Multiply that by *every single word in both the original language and the language it's being translated into.*
That's what translation is.
Good luck.
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aethersea · 1 year ago
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I've always wanted to learn bookbinding, ever since I was a wee little nerd, but there are a lot of things I've always wanted to learn, and this one has both a daunting upfront materials cost and a daunting upfront research cost. however, my sister is a jewel among siblings and gave me for christmas last year a handy dandy bookbinding manual, a block of good paper, and a little bag of tools.
but I still didn't have a suitable workspace, nor any of the many important tools and materials that she didn't include in her gift. so I just read the manual and pined. until maybe a month ago I got fed up with pining, flattened a cardboard box for a cutting mat, and went to town.
and I'm real proud of myself, so here's me rambling, plus photos!
I went to the thrift store and got glue + some fabric to bind the cover, went to Michaels for a paintbrush (and later went back for a metal ruler lmao it's amazing how useful it is to have a straightedge for cutting the paper), and...could not find material for the cover boards. so I went home and pined some more. but the urges were too strong, so after a couple hours of moping I got a stack of printer paper at the grocery store (I could not bring myself to use the good paper for my first, inevitably weak attempts, I just couldn't do it) and started making a little booklet. which was a great idea, it turned out, since it makes for good practice with cutting the paper, measuring things, punching holes in the signatures, etc.
I have a big box of greeting cards from Michaels, which I used for the covers. it didn't feel like I was making a Real Book, so I got some colored paper from the stationery store and used that for end papers.
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so fancy~
galvanized by this success, I ordered a stack of chipboard online to use for cover boards; and once I was confident that I could cut paper without making it look too stupid (getting that straightedge ruler sure helped lol), I made signatures out of the good paper, left them under some heavy books overnight since I don't have a book press, and then punched holes in them! (huzzah for this nice video on getting the holes right)
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my sister's gift included good linen thread. it's unwaxed, but after some poking around on r/bookbinding it looks like that just means I'll have to be more careful to avoid tangles and keep good tension. I am fine with this. I can be extra attentive. (I considered just running it over a beeswax candle, but one commenter said if your wax has paraffin in it, it could melt in a hot car, ruining the spine. I can't guarantee my candle is 100% beeswax, I didn't make it, so maybe we just move on.)
I don't have good linen fabric to use for the tapes, but the important part there is that the fabric be thin, sturdy, and not stretchy. the probably-cotton I got from the thrift store fits the bill, so it'll do!
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this is a french link stitch, which I got from this exceedingly good tutorial. apparently it's strong enough on its own that for a book of this size, I don't actually need tapes, but I'd already cut the things so eh here we are. and tapes plus french link will make it a stronger binding still (according to a friendly redditor on r/bookbinding), so we carry on.
specifically we carry on to the gluing step. now as I mentioned, I do not have a book press, and you....kinda need one for this step. you need to hold the book block in place with the signatures facing upwards, pressed together hard enough that the glue won't run down between them and stick the pages together (though you do want the glue to get between them just a little, just for like a 16th of an inch). you at least need some clamps and a couple boards to sandwich the book block with.
but you know what? I'm not a professional, this is my first ever book, if it's a little bit off it'll be fine. so we grab all the heaviest books off the bookshelf and improvise.
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it's fine! I'm sure it's fine! and just in case it's not, I've tucked a bit of cardboard underneath to catch any glue that drips down so it won't land on the floor. see? I'm prepared! I'm acing this.
and actually, it really was fine. I used clear elmer's glue, applied with a flat paintbrush from the art supplies aisle at Michael's, and frankly I liked the way the flat paintbrush let me slip glue in between the signatures. I did poke around on a couple bookbinding sites to see what kind of glue I should use, and the gist is that although there are better options than this, elmer's glue is perfectly serviceable, and the main downside is it's not archival grade. but I don't need my first bookbinding attempts to last 200 years, that's fine.
the next step is to add the mull. mull is a specific type of fabric – extremely loose-weave linen – and the idea is to paste it down over the spine to essentially hold the tapes and signatures all in place in relation to each other.
but I don't have mull! so I'm using more of the thrift store probably-cotton, because it's thin enough and not really stretchy at all. I'm sure this will be fine too. I painted a layer of glue onto the spine, then left it to dry a bit while I measured and cut the fabric, then painted a generous stripe of glue down the center, where it'll affix onto the spine. then I added a bit more glue to the spine, just to be sure, and pressed the mull into place, rubbing it thoroughly to make sure it's firmly affixed to every signature, with no creases in the fabric or air bubbles beneath it.
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honestly I might have overdone it on the glue. I've never done this before, I don't know! I think it's okay, though – I tried not to ever let it become a thick layer, just a slight coating, since the danger of too much glue is that it might crack once dry and weaken the spine.
and now we leave it in the press overnight to dry, and pick up the next step in the morning!
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signanothername · 7 months ago
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Hey, I just wanted to make a quick (and hopefully gentle) PSA!
Please, please don't use the DMs and askbox of artists you like as a personal journal, especially to vent about suicidal urges. I know you don't mean any harm and you're not technically hurting anything, but when you do this (especially as a minor) it puts the receiver in a really uncomfortable position, unable to express discomfort or exert boundaries without fear of making a bad situation worse.
(Plus, you have no idea what that person is really like behind the screen, even if they seem nice! I don't mean to scare anybody, but telling a totally anonymous stranger details about your school and friends and social life is extremely dangerous, especially as a minor! What if I posted any of the asks you sent? You'd have no way to know who would see what you said and whether or not they'd have your best interests at heart!)
Again, I don't mean this cruelly, I'm not angry, and I'm not pointing any fingers, but there are some asks in my inbox and messages in my DMs right now that I literally cannot safely answer without putting both myself and the sender in a really weird and uncomfortable situation, so the safest thing I could think to do was make a general post about boundaries.
If needed, I'll point back to this post in the future, but please just be careful with the information you share online. I know how difficult it is to be lonely, but there are better ways to handle it than to place your personal safety in the hands of a stranger you've barely even spoken to.
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littlest-bugz · 9 months ago
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The Collective You
[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]
One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.
When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.
So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.
After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.
Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]
Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]
Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]
You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.
I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.
Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.
For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.
Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.
More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].
I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].
Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.
Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.
No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!
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writingquestionsanswered · 11 months ago
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Tips for writers with ADHD that get major writers block/burnout
Writers with ADHD and Writer's Block/Burnout
Tip #1 - Troubleshoot the Problem - I want to start here, in the most obvious place, because even for writers with ADHD, writer's block is often the result of a specific issue that can be surmounted once identified. My post 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! addresses some of the most common ones. It's worth checking to see if something on there resonates with you as a potential obstacle to progress.
Tip #2 - De-Stress Your Writing Time - Human brains are wired to respond in specific ways to perceived threats... fight, flight, or freeze. Quite often, what we call "writer's block" is actually your brain having a freeze response to writing because it's causing you stress and is therefore perceived as a threat.
So, anything you can do to de-stress your writing time can help. Troubleshooting the problem as in #1 is a good start. Set reasonable goals and deadlines... you can estimate your available writing time and calculate that with your estimated WPM to see if it's even possible for you to hit your word count goal. Go easy on yourself when you don't reach goals... celebrate even the smallest of wins, because negative thinking makes writing more stressful. Do what you can to set up an inviting writing space, light a candle (safely), play soft music, use ambient lighting, have your favorite beverage and snack at hand.
Tip #3 - "Gamify" Your Writing - Turning your writing goals into game achievements can make writing fun, which is another great way to de-stress it. You can usually find free game board templates online, or you can create your own. I like to set mine up like this:
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You can set as many tasks as you want (within reason) for each goal, and your prizes can be anything from a handful of candy to buying something you really want, or doing something you really want to do. Whatever works for your budget that motivates you to get the tasks done.
Tip #4 - Do an Immersive Writing Sprint Session - YouTube is a wonderland of helpful videos for writers... not just easily digestible writing advice and research information, but also writing music, ambience rooms, and one of my favorites, immersive writing sessions. These are themed ambience rooms with ambient video, music, and sound effects, but they also have a writing sprint timer on the screen, so you are encouraged to write for however long (usually 10 to 20 minutes), then you get a five or ten-minute break before the next sprint starts. These can be a really great way to get into the zone if you're struggling otherwise.
Tip #5 - Eliminate Distractions - When you have ADHD, pretty much anything can be a distraction. If my desk is messy, I'll pause mid-sentence to clean it rather than write. If there's something on my desk I can fidget with or play with, I'll do that. If my phone is handy, I'll pick it up and start scrolling through social media. If I'm listening to music with words, I'll go look up the lyrics and fall down some weird tangentially related rabbit hole. If I'm hungry or thirsty, I'll get up fifty times to get a small snack or drink. So, I clean my desk ahead of time and remove anything I might be tempted to fiddle with. I only play instrumental music (usually an ambience room). I put my phone on silent or leave it in another room.
Literally anything I can do to head my usual distractions off at the pass. For me, it actually makes a big difference. Try keeping a running list of things that distract you while writing during a week of writing sessions. Then, go through the list and write solutions. This helps you build a pre-writing session distraction elimination routine.
I hope something here will work for you! I may do a part two to this soon, so keep an eye out!
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