#posted on reddit so I thought I'd put it here too

[upslapmeal]

Notes from the Taskmaster 16x10 recording

The last two episode recordings I went to, I meant to make comprehensive notes when I got home afterwards that I would be able to look back at and post when the episode aired. I did not, in fact, end up doing that. So this time I was determined to have lots of notes, and made them on the go in the breaks in recording. However. They were made in a rush and I never went back through them to pad them out (you'd really think I would have learned by now). So instead of just having to rely on my memory, I ended up with an almost coded list of words and phrases that it's taken me pretty much 2 weeks to sit down and decipher lol. So with that said:

the pre-episode Greg-Alex entertainment was Greg getting Alex to sing a song about a recent news story to the tune of a song suggested by the audience - in this case it was Trump's lawsuit (the one in May 2023 since there are...a few) to the tune of Wuthering Heights

Alex really went for the whole live thing, and was constantly referring to it throughout the episode

when the contestants came onstage, I obviously first saw Sam in his bright colours and blond hair

we were right on the back balcony and my first impression from that distance was that he kinda looked like Jamie Laing lol

Greg made a passing comment about how he's been dressing in grey but I was completely taken by surprise when the vt rolled and he looked completely different!

I had assumed he'd actually buzzed his hair and didn't realise it was a wig until the ep aired

Sue made comments throughout the episode about how Sam looked like Dahmer

Lucy's prize task story, unsurprisingly, went on for ages and included a whole story about the holiday they went on that I tragically cannot remember

I was so glad they didn't cut 'untaffled' because I looked through my notes before again before watching the episode and couldn't for the life of me remember what she'd said

Greg's said that his immediate response to naked Alex in the prize task was that he was 'smooth like an eel'

After Julian's prize task there was a discussion about how people wanted to be buried, and at one point (I wish I could remember the conversation leading up to this) either Greg or Alex said they would be buried 'together forever in the Victoria monument'

There was a whole long debate about whether Sam intended to use nature as part of his doughnut task, and whether the bird toppling Ms Doughnut to her death should be counted

Greg told Sam to 'convince me to give you 3 points'

Sam went on talking about how amazing nature is and how we're all connected and at one point said 'consider the statistics.....3000' (I'm 99% sure this is what he said and I didn't just forget the rest of the quote)

Julian's exercise name was absolutely not a one-off, to the point they started running a 'cunt count' for the episode

Sue talked about how she had recently had an ADHD diagnosis, and that she kept viewing tasks holistically rather than paying attention to the details. This was specifically in relation to the exercise where she just did the same thing 4 times

I'm not sure if we saw the full extended version of Hotel Taskmaster, but we definitely saw a cut that included more than the aired version (though tbh I think they do that for most tasks and I just noticed this one bc we got the extended version)

We got an 'I put it to you' from Greg that Alex-as-Qrs looked genuinely cool

Lucy described Alex as having 'tight metallic buns' which Greg later referred to as his 'robot arse'

I cannot stress how much of a breakdown Susan had in the studio about the forks and marbles - you get a glimpse in the episode but that was nothing!

Susan also took AGES to do her throw in the live task - she kept on being about to throw before being interrupted, or saying her arms were too short, or that she needed a wee, or having a fit of giggles, and the longer it went the worse it got lol

Greg and Alex also had a go at it, and Sue wanted another go without the pressure. Greg and Sue got the ball in but Alex didn't

Don't ask me to remember the context, but at one point during the record, Greg told a story about someone he knew (whose name he said he would tell the others backstage) who would have sex in a cow mask and would demand 'LOOK AT ME!!!'. Anyway that was referred back to a few times in the ep

When Sam was given the trophy he just stood near-motionless with it for what felt like ages before we got to the hugs and everything

And now we enter the magical world of ~what on earth was this note referring to~ where I just hope someone else who was there (@politicalprocrastinator how's your memory?) sees this and can fill me in on what I've forgotten:

At some point around the prize / first task I wrote 'correct dog guess'. Whose dog? What was being guessed? Absolutely no idea

At some point there was a joke about the 'former Prime Minister', I think the idea being that by the time the episode aired we'd inevitably have a new PM? but I honestly can't remember

Someone called someone else submissive in a way notable enough for me to have written 'submissive' as a one-word bullet point, but not notable enough for me to actually remember

And now three bullet points which I will present in their original form:

Birthday

Bum hole in back

Get in bath

[heir-of-0range]

Today was the sorting out drawing supplies day for me!

+ added the swatch palettes I made to see which ones have dried up since the last time I used them

(NB: if any of you needs advice — the IKEA felt-tips are really long-lasting, bought this pack like 7-9 years ago, and it's still going strong! Pretty transparent tho, so you need a few layers to get the colours bright)

[toxicanonymity]

Someone made a whole tiktok account for harassing me with false accusations, and they've tried to push the smear campaign on other platforms. They tried to dox me, too.

⚠️ Edit: This has escalated and gone way too far.

Below you will see deranged behavior from a troubled person who needs to read this.

The tiktoker claims i bullied a popular writer "off the internet" in 2023 for writing a raider AU. They claim to show I'm a bully, but no evidence of this is shown, just speculation. I've supported other raider AUs long before that one. I'm not even sure the tiktoker is a fan of the writer, but it's not their main motivation - they admit I pissed them off recently.*

*You might wonder why someone would want to turn people against me. The TLOU fandom has a "confessions" blog to cause trouble in the pedro pascal fandom. (the fandoms overlap; some tlou game fans resent "show fans" who are newer and popular). the blog sews division and incites hate toward users they dislike. this has driven many fans away and quieted others afraid of being targeted. i got sick of this and insulted the blog on main, and they (admins and anons) really, really didn't like that. I wasn't attacked until after this, then became a top target.

I don't have the energy to recap all that rn but search the tag "incel gymnastics" on my blog and you'll see.

I think the tiktoker recognized an opportunity here. Plenty of people will hear a rumor and say "omg i didn't know that!" instead of critical thinking.

The tiktoker started off by hooking the writer's fans and building suspense with a teaser claiming the writer was bullied off the internet and they knew who did it. This got attention, and then, in the comments, the tiktoker pointed the finger at me.

In a second video, she posted her so-called proof. Screenshots included me admitting the writer wasn't on my raider fic rec list. Screenshots of why not: the writer shading other characterizations to set hers apart, where she put Toxic; Go Fuck Yourself in order on her playlist; etc. Screenshots showing people missed the writer. Screenshots of speculation turning into rumors after she left. Notably absent: the writer getting bullied. This vid didnt get the same response.

The first flop (at canceling me & others)

Next, she tried to dox me. Idk how she decided who I was, and she wouldn't explain. She started calling me a name that's not mine. I was confused.

I responded to some tiktok comments because I'd learned my lesson about not addressing rumors in the past with the naive belief that the truth wins out anyway.

A third video ridiculed me for revisiting their posts.

And then the tiktoker DMed me and revealed how untethered from reality they really were with threats to dox this stranger they thought was me.

(The tiktoker updated their profile after this to remove the stranger's personal info).

I reported the threats and tiktok denied them. I showed the tiktoker (by replying to 2 comments) my dms/search history trying to figure out why she called me that name.

At some point the tiktoker took a screenshot of this post (in its original form) and commented it. Idk why

⚠️ I highly caution anyone tempted to engage with her. She has comment filtering on anyway. She declared via the confessions blog that I'm the stalker for "spamming" (vaguely defending myself on) their hate account that exists just to target me. The confessions blog agreed. Regarding the confessions blog, the tiktoker:

1) said she never heard of it, despite all the evidence that she spends lots of time on my blog, then

2) said she didn't support it and reported it

3) said me another user constantly post about it

4) sent the blog a confession identifying herself,

5) publicly apologized to the blog.

________________

7/28/25

Sigh. Someone has taken this to r/fauxmoi on reddit.

I'm sharing these details reluctantly.

I have not accused anyone of "plagiarism" and don't want to relive this bad experience from 2 years ago. Once it came up, I didn't want the topic of copying to come up, although I can understand why it did. It was frustrating for people who watched all this go down.

Me - I became aware of similarities between our fics and ignored it until a short scene I'd *previewed* appeared in her fic. I was frustrated that if I used my own scene after that, it could look like I copied her: her fic had far more exposure than a little preview post of mine. So at that point, I pinned my scene on my blog. I didn't even include a callout. I didn't want conflict. Not worth it. When a comment asked why I'd pinned it, I answered, but didn't name the fic or writer.

clarifying note - that scene had no animals. the animal scenes stuck out to readers bc details stayed the same in hers despite not making as much sense outside my fic's context.

Readers - I've never seen anything to support the idea that people spammed her (just "if she deleted, it must have happened"). As far as I know, she only got 3 comments spread out over 2 days or so, none abusive that I saw. The first one mentioned me by url, and the writer deleted it within minutes. The next day, a comment vaguely asked if she would credit the other fic, and she responded as if she didn't know what fic they were referring to. She asked for details so she could fix it and reach out to the writer, which she never did. Someone answered with a sequence of events/details and she deleted that but left her comment.

These are just the facts. I'm showing every comment I'm aware of on the matter.

I was upset when she deativated out of nowhere. But If a writer would rather delete her blog than defend her work against a couple of comments or acknowledge someone else's work, that's her business. The tiktoker says i "let it happen" and seems to suggest i should've protected her by promoting her fic I didn't read. This doesn't make sense after she never shared mine which she enjoyed and took inspo from. being inspired isnt a crime. just, the double standard of expecting me to rec hers (which I didn't even read) after that...

Note, I didn't clap back (or even vaguepost back) at the shade, and I didn't do a callout post. I told people I didn't want anyone confronting her. After she left and speculation became rumors, i tole people not to argue, not to even correct the lies. I wanted it to blow over. I had and have no interest in talking bad about a writer who isn't even here. hence i've hesitated to dredge up details of something I didn't want to address.

People will believe what they believe. Atp between the confessions blog and this person's hate rampage, there are too many lies to keep up with. all I can do is encourage people to think for themselves.

----

7/29/25 Q&A from the redditor

Q: ok quick question on the plagiarism thing: if it’s not what happened why not correct people on tiktok? or has it gotten so out of hand you are just letting people assume/duke it out? I saw your post with the screenshots so it comes off as you kinda alluding to plagiarism? I definitely don’t think you’re a celebrity and shouldn’t be treated as one but like I said in the anon sorry if it came off that way, i thought me stating it was very niche tea would’ve covered that so again I apologize [redditor attached the screenshot collage above]

A: the context of that pic was (reluctantly, finally) describing what happened. I wasn't hinting at anything, just describing events as they occurred. the screenshot shows the full extent of comments I'm aware of, in contrast with "spamming" or "bullying"

aside from the disproven strawman argument that i was gatekeeping an au, i hadnt seen any tiktok comments t that struck me as false or unreasonable characterizations of what happened. that doesn't mean I came out and accused her of plagiarism (im not an expert and wouldnt want that attention), and it doesnt mean anyone bullied her. Until now I asked people not to argue against false accusations. that let rumors spread unchallenged. look at where I am now.

edit, and yes the situation has gotten out of hand (because of this anonymous person who is so fixated on me) to where i don't have the energy to micromanage it even if I wanted

___________

More lies on the confessions blog. Tiktok comments trying to bait me. Threats to take this to other platforms. It's too much to keep up with. If they wanted to keep my attention, they blew it.

When i link this, I'm just putting the truth out there because clearly my past silence did me no favors.

---

8/2/25 - Apparently, she wrote manifestos about me. I cant speak to all the content but i get the gist. Ex:

wrongly muses that my crack character anonabeth (stand-in for all hate anons) is black.

contrasts how I gently rb a stranger about the flag vs. my harsher tone *responding to attacks*

misrepresents why i assumed she and redditor were the same person. See rb screenshot

Obviously I'm not gonna read or respond to all false accusations or I wouldn't have time for anything else. In fact this is most likely the last time this post will be amended. ✌️

------

Ty for reading and be safe.

💙

[yourfaithfulauthor]

Hey I saw your post about your Soap fic and although I'm not in the area of Scotland that I think Soaps from (I'm wayyy north) I hope it brings a little reassurance that Americanisms in fics never bothered me outside of dialogue for non-americans. I mean obviously I don't speak for everyone or all Scottish folk but honestly I find poor use of gaelic or Scots to be more annoying than Americanisms.

Also, I would love to hear where you placed Soap? (Maybe just the general area to avoid outing Neil Ellice's home town, and ofc i understand if you dont want to reveal it at all). I always thought his accent sounded like it came from around Paisley or somewhere around the South West of Glasgow.

Anyway, it's really touching that you would throw yourself so thoroughly into researching Scottish dialects and Scottish Catholic mass. There's still a lot of damage here about dialects, accents, class, and colonialism - so it really does mean a lot to see your enthusiasm and dedication to appreciating the culture your writing about.

Sorry, this is probably rambly and a bit too over the top, but please, I promise I do mean what I've said genuinely. I hope you have fun writing your fic and that you get many comments and kudos, and I'm glad to be sharing the CoD fandom with you.

This is the first ask I've gotten in years that wasn't a bot, thank you so much T.T Also thank you for being so sweet!

One: I am absolutely enamored with Scottish culture atm. I was born in the 90s when the Irish cultural boom was big in America, so I know a loooot about Ireland. And I was in high school during the English Invasion on Tumblr (Dr. Who, Sherlock, Dan and Phil, charlieissocoollike, etc.). But I never considered Scotland. And I'd be lying if I didn't say it started as hornyposting for Neil because whyyyy does he purr those lines so deliciously?

ANYWAY

There was this excellent Reddit post going through the myriad Edinburgh accents, so I definitely went Edinburgh first. But listening closer I hear that broadness that Glasgwegian accents seem to favor. So I actually have to change the scene now. -sob- I considered looking further south to see if I can clock anything else but I'm so woefully out of my depth. I'd have to listen to hours of Scottish interviews with, like, footballers to finally pin it down. ...which I may do. Undecided how crazy I want my boyfriend to think I am.

Re: Neil's hometown, my comment was just because we're near the same age and I know I would personally hate being stalked online, so I googled the one query and left it at that. No info, no need to go looking further lol.

Re: bad use of Scots/Scottish phrases - it grinds my gears mega-ultra reading fanfiction with Soap sometimes because I find that when you get into writing accents phonetically, you tend to lean into unconscious bias.

Soap uses a few choice phrases, right? "Pishin it doon" (We use that description in America, too, "it's pissin' outside". We also say it's "spitting" for a very light rain where the drops are infrequent), "steamin' Jesus", and "creepin' Jesus." I'm trying to think of other phrases he might use but I'm too lazy to check the "All Soap's dialogue" YT video I have pulled up.

Point being (who's rambling now?), I think that Soap himself isn't overusing Scots either. Call it code-switching if you will, but if he's not canonically saying the phrases, I'm reticent to put them in my fic.

I'm big, BIG on research and since the CoD boys are basically "action figure with tragic backgrounds", I think what little crumbs of characterization we get are even more important. Depending on if you're a purist for characters (meaning OG vs reboot have separate pasts) or what I call "reform" (mix those shits together!), I think it matters even more. Since we got way more characterization from OG by way of supplementary material and more characterization from dialogue in the RB, I'm in the reform camp to allow for a far more fleshed out set of characters.

Anyway thank you so much for the kind words! I'm so glad my silly post reached you and heartened you, and thank you for buoying me! I'm having a ton of fun doing this research, even if it feels a leetle creepy to go and research someone's probable actual church or apartment to get the visuals for the scenes haha.

[remcycl333]

hiiiiii besties!

im so sorry ive been so inactive 😭😭😭 i've had the busiest past two months!!

yesterday i reread edward art's series on reddit and took notes on it and i thought i'd post them maybe 😌 i really highly recommend reading his series in full to really truly get a grasp on manifesting!! like once you read it you will truly fully grasp manifestation. it's so good.

but here's my little notes i took bc i find it so motivating and helpful to just read the little quotes i wrote down every once in a while.

any time im in a bad/sad mood i always like to read neville or edward and it instantly puts me in a better mood & motivates me. so i took these notes for that purpose and i wasn't gonna post them but i thought maybe it could help you guys too!!!

if u read something u dont understand, u can read the part it is from in edward's series and gain clarity!!! <3 the posts are all pretty short :)

here's the link to the google doc :) enjoy!!!!

[geekynotfreaky]

The Front Man's Worldview

I posted this Front Man analysis on Reddit the other day and it didn't get much traction, so I thought I'd post it here too!

Squid Game Season 2 spoilers below the cut.

(And yes, proper capitalization, because this shit's serious!)

While watching season 2, I had the basis for the rivalry between Gi-hun and the Front Man simplified into the following: the Front Man believes in peoples' inherent flaws, whereas Gi-hun believes in peoples' inherent capacity for good. But there's a lot more to it than that!

This article recently got me thinking about how interesting In-ho's worldview is: https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/squid-game-season-2-lee-jung-jae-lee-byung-hun-spoiler-breakdown-1236258362/.

"In-ho is a character that no longer has belief or hope in the outside world. So it’s almost like he has nowhere to go, because that is not really a world that he feels like he’s a part of anymore."

The Front Man has no hope in the world and feels almost completely disconnected from it. So he clings to the games because the world outside is dire and beyond saving, and the world of the games just makes more sense to him than the world outside. This explains his spiel about fairness and equality in season 1. Under this perspective, it’s true everyone who plays the games is given one last chance to "fight fair and win." Because there is zero hope for them in the outside world, whereas the world of the games is a world of opportunity.

Granted, the rules of the game are not entirely fair OR just, but it's a system that makes more sense than the world outside of it. Knowing the Front Man's backstory as In-ho, you might say the real world disappointed him so much he had to become the leader of his own world.

"In the process of these really grueling and violent games, his feelings faded. Feelings of hope and joy are long gone in the In-ho you meet in Season 2."

Similar to Gi-hun (and they do seem to be foils of one another), the trauma of playing through the games and winning contributed to his shattered worldview. Notably, though not discussed in the article, they both also lost someone close to them despite winning the games (for Gi-hun, his mother; for In-ho, his wife and unborn child).

In-ho is so cold-hearted and impassive as we know him in the present day...he has no joy, no hope. He is what Gi-hun has the potential to become. Throughout season 2, when he’s not putting on that act as Young-il, he's often staring into space with a sort of deadness in his eyes. There’s zero warmth there, and the betrayal in the end serves to remind the audience of that. And yet!

"You do find him almost momentarily enjoying the situation. And I think this is just a very small glimpse of his past self.”

...there are moments where he DOES seem to be genuinely enjoying himself, like during the relay race. And as the article explains it, these moments are like little, miniscule glimpses of his past self. So when he's having a laugh throwing that spinning top incorrectly (three whole times with his non-dominant hand, just for fun), is that something the In-ho of the past would’ve enjoyed? Playing a little joke without the others knowing? How much of that tiny light in his eye is just a remnant of something that has long since faded?

The fact Lee Byung-hun paid such deliberate attention to the details of his character really makes season 2 all the more interesting to watch! Every scene with him in it is captivating because you’re almost forced to scrutinize every aspect of his behavior in order to figure out who he is at that moment: is he the cold and cunning Front Man, the supposedly innocent Young-il, or his true self Hwang In-ho? And that's what makes him my favorite character!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD PLAYLISTS PART 4: Old Habits Die Screaming

Better late than never! We're onto the fourth playlist in the "5 Stages of Heartbreak" series, and the one I was most excited to get to, because it's the one I've been obsessed with for the last year. I think I've started and abandoned posts about this about a dozen times, but nothing like an arbitrary deadline to get the juices flowing, right?

(Links to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 if you missed them)

If the bargaining playlist gagged me when it came out because of the implications of what she wanted and what she'd do to get there, the depression playlist punched me in the gut because of how it highlighted the ramifications of losing these things-- and yourself along with it.

Usual disclaimer: we're going into the themes, focusing on pre-TTPD songs first, have fun.

You can find the full playlists on this Reddit thread, which is where I got the transcripts from.

Let's go: Old Habits Die Screaming, aka Depression

Putting under a cut because this got a little long

Here is how Taylor describes this playlist:

“We're going to be exploring the feelings of depression that often lace their way through my songs. In times like these, I'll write a song because I feel lonely or hopeless. And writing a song feels like the only way to process that intensity of an emotion. And while these things are really, really hard to go through, I often feel like when I'm either listening to songs or writing songs that deal with this intensity of loss and hopelessness — usually that's in the phase where I'm close to getting passed that feeling.”

In other words: It was house and then cardiac arrest.

Track list:

Bigger Than The Whole Sky // Dear Reader // Maroon // You’re Losing Me // my tears ricochet // epiphany // hoax // champagne problems // coney island // right where you left me // Nothing New // All Too Well // Forever Winter // We Were Happy // Last Kiss // Castles Crumbling // Carolina // White Horse

The lyrics that tell (a) story:

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes 'cause it's all over, it's not meant to be, so I’ll say words I don’t believe // You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there // How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands, ain't that the way shit always ends // How long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? // And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home // "Doc, I think she's crashing out," And some things you just can't speak about // My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my winless fight, this has frozen my ground // "She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head," they said // Lost again with no surprises, disappointments, close your eyes and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down // Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it, she's still twenty-three inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be // I've had too much to drink tonight, how did I go from growing up to breaking down? // Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it, I'd like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it // I call, just checking up on him, he's up, 3 A.M., pacing, he says, "It's not just a phase I'm in" // Oh, I hate those voices telling me I'm not in love anymore, but they don't give me choices and that's what these tears are for // You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind // My castle's crumbling down and I watch all my bridges burn to the ground // Lost I was born, lonesome I came, lonesome I'll always stay // 'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't our fairytale, I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well

Once again, it was harder to pick out lyrics than I thought it would be, because so many of the songs are one giant ball of depression and grief and any one line could be included here. Based on Taylor's intro (we'll get to that in a second) I tried to weave a story about how the narrator was feeling by picking out lines about their thoughts and actions that depict grief, loss, loneliness and depression. Because while the songs all depict different kinds of loss (dreams, faith, innocence, people, identity, work, etc.), the common thread is the devastation left in their wake.

… And what that story means:

I've said repeatedly over the last year -- to the point where you might be sick of me saying it idk -- that one of the things I love about the Depression playlist is her introduction to it. Because it sums up what her career-- and this album-- have really been about: writing her way through life, even the most painful bits, in order to process her experiences. I know she's said it in other contexts, but it was incredibly poignant to me that she said that when she's dealing with intense loss or sadness, writing about it is how she knows she's on her way to getting through it, which is especially pointed given what we now know are the themes of the album, because TTPD IS about grief, full-stop.

In this way, I do think it's significant that Bigger Than The Whole Sky is the first song on the (pre-TTPD additions) playlist, and the first song to come on the heels of the intro, because it's the starkest, rawest depiction of the actual feeling of depression, and that sets the stage for the rest of the playlist and the story therein. It perfectly distills the idea of life-changing loss and the absolute heaviness of its aftermath, which is then explored throughout the rest of the playlist. (And, unsurprisingly, is exactly what TTPD is about.) It's incredibly vulnerable and brave of her to talk about writing through that hopelessness, and presumably these songs are a reflection of those sentiments.

(Soapbox speech: I've said many times that personally, I believe BTTWS is the gateway to understanding both Midnights and TTPD. Midnights is an album about someone in the throes of depression grappling with how they got to this place and ruminating about events in their life, and TTPD is an album that delves into grief in the aftermath of loss. BTTWS quite literally describes how the narrator feels about both of those very things, and I think is essential to putting listeners in the mindset of the person telling these stories. IMO that's why it's included on Midnights, and why I think it's an excellent "gateway" leading into Fortnight/TTPD, both sonically and thematically. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)

So with all that being said, this is what this "medley" sounds like to me:

Our dreams have gone up in smoke and I've lost faith in the future // and behind closed doors I am all alone in sitting in this grief // We broke apart and somehow we ended up turning into the very thing we scoffed at // How long could we stew in this sadness before it killed us both? // Because our home is no longer our home anymore // And it's making me careen off a cliff // I can't move past this betrayal // and maybe I would have gotten the life I'd wanted or people expected of me if I weren't so fucked up // The constant letdown is bleeding me dry bit by bit // And I'm stuck here while the world moves on and I don't know how to leave // And on the nights where I drink my sorrows away I wonder how I got here // I miss who I used to be before all of this happened // This isn't temporary, there's something fundamentally wrong // I know I have to leave, but I can't help mourning what I'm giving up in the process // Because you were the one thing I counted on and I never thought you'd give up on us like this // and I'm watching everything we built collapse around us // I might be destined to be alone forever // But in the end, leaving is right, because I don't deserve what you've done to me, and it's time for me to move on.

Oof.

It's just unrelenting sadness from start to finish.

But like with the other playlists, there are bookends to this journey. We start BTTWS with a narrator who is wholly weighed down by unrelenting grief, and we end with White Horse and a narrator who is coming out the other side of it and realizing that they have to walk away in order to save themselves and rebuild after the loss of that dream.

Again: her mind 🤌

I said in the post about the Bargaining playlist that that selection feels like someone grappling with the need for control vs. the lack of it, and this section is what happens when that lack of control sends you into an emotional tailspin, because loss by its very nature is out of your hands. It's the fallout, and the ways in which you claw out of that pit, that help you regain the footing you lost along the way. (Which, again: is extremely evident as a theme on TTPD on the road from grief to mania to depression to rebuilding.)

What struck me in the way this particular playlist was organized is that the album sections almost feel like their own chapters, too. Midnights starts us off with a run about breaking down, breaking apart and intense loneliness. Folklore is about betrayal and the trauma from it. Evermore is about the disappointment in your life not turning out the way you'd dreamed of. Red is about sinking into depression and being unable to find your way out. We Were Happy/Last Kiss/Castles Crumbling is grappling with the life you've built coming down, even when it's at your own hand. Carolina is feeling lonely when no one understands you. And White Horse is the period on the sentence, the summation of the entire journey which is: you might watch your life be dismantled, but in the end, you can rebuild it with an even stronger foundation from what you've learned.

(As an aside: the folklore run in particular struck me, because it feels like the stories in those songs go: losing her masters -> covid -> potentially the inflection point of the relationship breakdown. The track order throughout these playlists is absolutely purposeful and if I could remember what I've been thinking I'd dive into it more, and I'm just curious if this might be one of those things.)

So then jumping back into TTPD, here are the songs that then made the cut afterwards:

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus // How Did It End? // I Look In People's Windows // Clara Bow // loml // Florida!!! // Down Bad // Fortnight

Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that the Depression playlist ended up getting the most TTPD songs on it. Because again: it's an album about grief and loss! It makes sense that that informed so much of the art.

You see the pining and grief over the "what if?" from BTTWS in songs like Chloe et al. or I Look In People's Windows or loml. You see the confusion over loss from Last Kiss or We Were Happy in How Did It End? You see the rumination over the ways in which society destroys women and leads to the systems in which they end up playing these roles professionally and personally from Nothing New or Castles Crumbling (or even My Tears Ricochet) in Clara Bow or even Florida!!! to an extent. You see the fear over the future if the present stays its course from songs like You're Losing Me in Fortnight. You see the paralysis in the wake of loss from songs like All Too Well or even Right Where You Left Me in Down Bad.

(I also think I could make direct parallels between individual song themes/stories and the TTPD songs, but this is long enough and I'd be here all day.)

One of my favourite things that Taylor has said about the album is:

“This writer is of the firm belief that our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.”

And IMO that is exactly what this playlist reflects. It starts off as a story about unspeakable loss, and ends with the narrator moving on to write their next story.

We're in the home stretch! One last playlist to conquer, Acceptance!

(ICYMI: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3)

[diaryforadreamer]

Some Zootopia 2 personal theories - Part 1 (pre-teaser release)

Since the hiatus till the Zootopia 2 teaser trailer drops is starting to have a small toll (it's not really a big toll; I'm still not desperate, only a tad impatient) on me, I decided to revisit the concept art promotional image of the movie that Disney released during August, 2024 featuring some of the upcoming characters, which gave me some food for thought I'd like to share with the rest of you.

(English is not my first language and I'm currently having some sort of writer's block so excuse any possible typos and/or poorly-written structures).

The following, of course, are just my own personal impressions/theories which have all the chances of being far from near from the actual final plot of the movie, specially if Disney decides to introduce some drastic changes within its script in spite of being only eight months away until the release, something I would dread but given the current global scene and the last changes the company has implemented within its inner policies I can't discard.

Friendly reminder that the following are just some made-up theories, unanswered questions and personal wishful thinking.

Let's get started:

What's the deal with Gary?

Meet Gary, the snake.

If Nick and Judy were the heart and soul of the first movie, I have the gut feeling that Gary is going to be the one fulfilling that role in the sequel. For those who haven't yet read too much about its premise, Zootopia 2 will stand out for expanding the range of inhabitants of the animal kingdom. While the first film featured mammals, the second installment will be putting its focuse on reptiles. Specifically, this mysterious snake named voiced by actor Ke Huy Quan (Oscar winner for Everything Everywhere All at Once).

Not much is known about this character yet, except that the story will revolve around him, when Nick and Judy, now as detectives, have to go undercover to never-before-seen parts of Zootopia in order to find him. That, and the fact that, in Ginnifer Goodwin's words, he's a creepy, slithery, highly venomous viper.

Still, with that being said, do you think he has the face of a villain?

An article published by Disney Japan on January 16, 2025, and which a kind soul generously translated on Reddit, corroborates what Ginnifer Goodwin announced during August D23: Nick and Judy will go after him because he's a wanted criminal. However, despite being a poisonous snake, he's also described as optimistic, cheerful, and extremely talkative; an important character who will guide them to a new mystery hidden in Zootopia that will be the key to the story.

(A curious fact is that while at D23 they announced that Nick and Judy would be on his trail, the article from Japan suggests that Gary will be the one chasing them. Is this a mistake in the article or the translation, or is it a hint at something else?)

Without an official teaser or trailer yet, one can only guess. However, given the images already shared on Twitter of the character's animation tests shown at Brazil D23, and another one released just a few months ago to celebrate the Chinese New Year, I am more inclined to think that he WILL NOT BE the main villain of the movie.

He certainly has some creepy expressions but still doesn’t seem villain-coded to me.

Nevertheless, I don't think he'll be a mere sidekick character who serves strictly as comic relief, like Olaf did in Frozen.

In a promotional image of a poster released in China, which I've attached below, we can glean several nuggets of information:

Credits to his post on reddit for the actual translation.

Little fella here is actually 33 feet (10 meters long). I don't discard the possibility that his debut scene may be intentionally ominous and spooky showing some really freaked out Nick and Judy after they realize he is way bigger than the case file stated.

Again, they emphasize his status as a highly venomous snake and his poisonous fangs. If the film has good writing (let's cross our fingers for it), this isn't just a coincidence or an insubstantial detail.

Personality: Extremely optimistic. This further strengthens my belief that he won't be a villain.

Special Ability: Talkative. Based on this and the previous point, I'd venture to say that… he'll get along with Judy and drive Nick crazy.

AND WATCH OUT FOR THIS: Motivations for entering Zootopia: Unclear.

Hmmm. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found the film's leitmotif. Why is there no information about his intentions and what is this strange (and in my opinion also surprisingly endearing) snake up to? These will probably be revealed throughout the film's second and third acts.

My theory is that the perception we're going to be given of Gary will change as the film progresses and Nick and Judy get to know the different facets of the character.

If I had to guess, I'd say that during the first act, he'll be portrayed as a potentially dangerous wanted criminal, just like the premises states.

Second act, he'll be portrayed as a cinnamon roll who seems dangerous but is actually harmless and a sweet bundle of joy.

Third act: While he's not exactly a villain, he does have ulterior motives that aren't exactly noble (or at least not entirely); or at least, he has some potentially dangerous secrets he's keeping to himself.

A crazy theory I've been mulling over for a while is that he might have several Edmond Dantes ulterior vengeance motives. I believe he's pursuing something, maybe some peace and stability for other reptiles, or perhaps he has some other personal motives behind him: a score to settle against the true villain of the story.

And who that might be?

I think Disney has already given us the answer within the concept art image, right in the centre of it.

Let's take another look.

Is the giraffe the actual villain?

Who exactly is this guy? The new mayor? A wealthy philanthropist? Like most of the details, the question remains unanswered, but if I had to bet my two cents on who the movie's villain could be, I'd say we already have a winner.

Take a good look at him.

Notice its location within the image, right in the center of it and its size in contrast to the rest of the characters: He is HUMONGOUS, he is twice as big as Bogo, which among Lionheart, were two of the biggest mammals that showed up in the first movie, and specially, watch out for his expression.

Have a closer look.

Do you see what I see? This is a look of absolute hate, of pure and raw disgust and revulsion. And it's aimed towards Gary.

His face really catches my attention. Notice how the rest of the characters' gazes are mostly aimed either forward or towards Nick and Judy (as in the case of Gary and Bogo). However, as for this giraffe, the direction of its eyes break the harmony of the composition. The same goes for the other characters' expressions: Nick, Judy, and the Hopps appear scared or bewildered; Nibbles, Clawhausser, and Gary seem excited; and Bogo and the boar wearing the vest are the only ones who look the most serious. However, the giraffe offers a more calculating look: those arched eyebrows, the pursed snout, his sneer of contempt. It looks as if he's got Gary in his sights.

May I open the betting-pool?

Well, my guess is that this giraffe is going to be the other great pivotal point of the film.

I'd say he will be the one to set Nick and Judy (or Bogo, who would assign the case to the fox and the bunny) on their path to go after the snake. Or at the very least, he'll be very keen on catching him.

There's nothing to support this theory, but evoking Fred's words in Big Hero 6 and in reference to what I've already stated in the previous paragraph, I'd say: "THIS IS A REVENGE STORY".

(Or maybe not, perhaps I'm just reading too much into it and both characters dynamic will just serve as another racism allegory, even though I'm rooting for a deeper lecture)

Whatever the final product Zootopia 2 may be, something tells me there's something personal going on between this giraffe and Gary. Whether it's a hatred strictly focused on the snake or toward his entire species or reptiles in general, I'm not sure, and I don't dare say. But if I had to decide (and yes, I admit, if it was up for me to decide), I'd stick with a "hate towards Gary in particular" plot-line.

Share your thoughts with me in the comments. Like, reblog or whatever, and tell me if you would like a Part 2 of this or something.

Night!

[villanious-gay-ghost]

I think I've figured out how to let go

(originally posted on Reddit by me, but I thought I'd share it here as well)

Doesn't apply to everyone!!! We all have different journeys and different things that work for us! These are just some thoughts, take them with a grain of salt. If it doesn't resonate with you, then it's not for you.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently because I felt like I'm trying to control too much of my DR to the point that it has become an obsession. For almost three years, I've been doing the same thing over and over again. I create myself a DR with the perfect life, perfect backstory, perfect S/O, perfect family, etc. It's all so perfect and planned out that it has no room for growth. When you have everything, that's just not fun.

Then when all the planning and scripting is done, I lose interest, and it's not getting me anywhere. No matter how perfect these DRs are, they feel distant, unrealistic, and unreachable. They're just too good to be true. I'm sure that such realities exist, but for me, it's not a realistic goal YET because I'm clearly struggling to get there. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm trying to come up with a solution for that.

So if my DR is already perfect, then what else is left to do? Nothing. It's not an authentic experience anymore. Perhaps the hardest part is admitting to myself that I don't want the perfect DR or an ideal version of myself because that's what I've been chasing the entire time. The easy way, where I have everything, but it's just not what I want.

I want the human experience where I can find true immersion, where I have no knowledge of the outcome. I want to live, to exist.

Shifting is life. You're not an actor trying to act out a script. It's not just some fantasy, we're talking about reality. But life isn't something that you can plan, is it? There's always something that we can't predict because that's just how it is.

So what is letting go?

Letting go is when you specify only the basics in order to create a grounded reality. You define who you are, where you want to go, create a general idea of your life, maybe who your parents and siblings are, but you let the rest naturally unfold. You don't stress about the little details, you don't make a 20 pages long script.

Put that script aside for a bit. You don't plan your younger brother's personality, you don't plan your neighbor's eyebrow color, you don't plan how many bathrooms your house has, the types of plants your high school biology teacher kept in her classroom, you don't plan your number of friends, or the brand of your first car. You don't plan. You absolutely can do all those things, and having a script doesn't necessarily mean that you're obsessed with control. But if you're like me and that's not working for you, then maybe try considering going back to basics. You don't need specifics to connect to your DR.

It's hard, I know, because we want to be in control and all that. But you're letting go by not trying to control every aspect of your DR. Trust yourself, trust the universe, trust shifting, trust whatever you believe in and let go of your limitations. Create a reality for yourself, a place where you genuinely want to live.

But if you only have the basics, then how do you shift? That doesn't seem enough, but, in theory, it should be. True, you don't have specifics, but you still have the key, the most important thing that you need in order to shift: yourself.

Just lay down, relax, focus on your breathing if that helps. Let go of the details, don't think about them because they're only holding you back. Focus on the idea, the concept of a better reality where you're safe, cared for, and happy. You don't need a method, you don't need to visualize. Just feel and trust that it's happening. Feel the peace and feel the shift pulling you in.

Hope this helps someone. Start open and go living!

[eebeebackup]

More Coherent Thoughts on if I Have to Totally Restart My Shit

hi its eebee tumblr deleted my blog

So I've been looking around Reddit and what not, and...I'm not hopeful that my account will be restored tbh. Which sucks balls, especially considering I MADE THE BACK-UP and it didn't automatically download. Like...even if they don't wanna put my blog back up, can I have my back-up please? It wasn't saved on Wayback Machine either, so...everything else I've written might just be lost media. Oh well. But anyway, I have ideas.

As many of you know, I take the very professional and big brain method of 'fuck it we ball' when I write. When I wrote Tali/Ronan's stories, I never thought they'd take place in the same world, but honestly I think there's a lot of really fun ideas to be had there. I talked a lot about my world in my main project, and setting those stories there (which I decided like, half way through. oops) has helped me with a lot of other worldbuilding. I'd love to eventually use those characters and setting for almost an Era 2 of my main project, if that makes sense.

If anyone happens to have a copy of my posts/stories, please please send them to me! I'd love to re-upload them! Lessons...have been learned. I didn't have them anywhere else, and I can't find them on any archive.

I've been playing with the idea of restarting Tali's story here, as now I know a lot more lore stuff I want to implement with his dad and his friends, but it'd be a lot different. If I did want to eventually publish something with those guys, I do not own the rights to League of Legends. Crazy, right? But I wanted him to have something just as dorky to bring reader into; I've honestly been thinking maybe marching band, and having reader either be in band with him or she knows him from one of his classes. I'm a slut for STEM/Arts major pairs, so maybe it'd still be something like that? Or reader only knows him from his own programming classes, and doesn't know anything about music. I have a few ideas.

As for Ronan, all of his subplots were super messy, and I have a lot of ideas in general on how to change the start of his story as well as an overarching plot.

If I don't get my blog back, I kind of want to format this blog as if it were an otome game. Like, a certain collection of stories all exist in the same universe, and you can read them simultaneously or all at once. I don't want Taleisin's story to be as dramatic/gorey as Ronan's, but they'd have hints to each other through their connecting links (Callon/Alex). I also have a lot of lore I've planned about their whole family, Ronan's ex-wife, and other things too.

As for my other stories (Rennyn, Eldrin, Cyron) outside of that universe, I'd probably rewrite those too and follow the same otome game style format, only they'd be in a separate timeline.

I also plan on restarting Taleisin's dad's story/Widow's Hellfire since that one I do have saved on a Google Doc. I may reformat it a bit because tbh, I thought since I was posting it on tumblr it needed to have porn right away for anyone to want to read it, and now I'm not sure if that's the case.

So yeah! I'm not letting this bring me down. Rewriting things will suck, but...maybe it's a new opportunity. I'm open to suggestions; I've also played with the idea of Taleisin accidentally getting involved in mafia stuff, but again, keeping it to side stories so his main story isn't too dark.

I'm so glad some of y'all found me again. It really warms my heart seeing familiar faces!! Hopefully I'll get my blog back, but...if not, there's a plan. im being such a cool chill guy abt this rn

ALSO I WANNA LEARN HOW TO MAKE MY POSTS HAVE THE COOL OMBRE TEXT AND MAKE THINGS PRETTIER UNRELATED BUT YEA

[sharksandstars]

Season 4 of TUA is terrible so far??

I have a lot of opinions on season 4 and I fear most of them aren't great. I watched the first and second episodes fully and briefly skimmed over the rest (yes, I plan to watch them fully!) and so far I can't say I'm a fan. I have to address the elephant in the room: Five and Lila. In my opinion, it was a terrible decision and it felt like the writers were just trying to put in the craziest thing they could think of. And on top of that, it really feels like the way they executed was like a really shitty Wattpad fanfiction. I mean, there were like 6 scenes where they were living in domestic bliss??? Hey, so that is weird by the way! I have so many issues with their relationship... first of all, the age gap between the actors. Aidan Gallagher is 20 years old while Ritu Arya is 35 years old. I'd be surprised if they didn't feel weird while filming. Secondly, Five and Lila would not fall in love. I understand enemies to lovers is a genre and it's not inherently bad but with Five and Lila it felt like their resentment was far too deep-rooted. I've also seen a lot of posts about this and it seems like everyone is in agreement that it's weird and gross, and it doesn't make sense! Knowing this, I do understand that being stranded in a strange subway timeline thing for 7 years can be a less-than-stellar experience. Lila's marriage was already rough, but they really just needed some couples counseling and they'd be fine. I'd also like to argue that Five realistically wanted to feel love since he had never truly felt it unless you want to count Delores. But again, mentioning my previous points, it seems incredibly out of character for Lila and Five to betray Diego like that. I'm not entirely sure what the writers were thinking. As for the rest of the characters, I was happy to see them living regular lives. I unfortunately don't think season 4 was as good as any of the other seasons despite this, which makes me incredibly sad. Season 1 was fantastic, season 2 really picked up, season 3 was alright but enjoyable, and I really expected Season 4 to bring it all home, but so far, it hasn't in my opinion. I don't think it would have been better to just cancel the show after season 3 because I'm not the biggest fan of ambiguous endings. I also have an issue with the duration of the season: 6 episodes don't feel like enough. A series finale shouldn't have only 6 episodes, especially since all of the other seasons had 10 episodes. I just feel like they could have done more with it and it's really unfortunate that this series ran for so long and built up such an incredible story only for it to kind of... fall off. Also, just furthering my argument with Five and Lila here, Five killed her parents when he worked for The Commission. Which led to Lila hating him and trying to KILL HIM MULTIPLE TIMES. The writers must have gotten a lobotomy between seasons 3 and 4. Leave me your thoughts so far. I'll make another post when I finish it.

(Edit: I posted this on Reddit as well)

[chaifootsteps]

there's a post on helluva boss' reddit that's like 'guess what's happening here!' [the shot where Stolas is singing onstage w/Verosika]

random reply roundup of responses, in order of how frustrating they are:

least frustrating -> it's a fakeout where it seems like Stolas is gonna roast Blitzo but instead he sings something sincere. This is the best of all possible worlds, if only Stolas would take some responsibility for what he did. Even this best case scenario is likely to be 'I'm so sad because he hurt me and all I wanted was to love him, poor little princely me :/' and Blitzo somehow falls for this BS

people pointing out roasting Blitzo will not help him/is still scapegoating him -> slightly better, though it still holds back from pointing out Stolas is the one in the wrong here and he doesn't get to complain when Blitzo is justifiably wary or angry at him

more frustrating -> Verosika feels bad for Stolas and wants him to realize how bad Blitzo is. Like yeah it's possible she'll project all the baggage from her relationship onto Stolas, but it doesn't mean that's a good thing to do. She's right that Blitzo treated her poorly, by his own admission with the credit cards thing he did, but her relationship with Blitzo is not the same as Stolas'. Blitzo is not the bad one in this scenario

-> Stolas sings about his heartbreak but doesn't name names. Um, he's singing it in front of a massive 'Blitzo sucks' poster with Blitzo's ex onstage. That excuse really doesn't fly, given how open a secret the 'affair' is it's obvious who he's talking about and Blitzo has every right to be hurt

-> Stolas' song is a 'wakeup call' to Blitzo. Er, wakeup to what? How it's Stolas' world now and he's just living in it, so he better get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness?

-> Blitzo should initiate the apology to show he's grown! I agree Blitzo should initiate the apology...to Verosika. Then he should tell her what happened between him and Stolas so a succubus who likely knows what it's like to have people try to force themselves on her (that No dress in her photo with Blitzo, anyone) can have Tex throw him off stage and get the crowd to egg his royal ass. If anyone needs a public humiliation here it's Stolas, not Blitzo

-> the song is a love ballad but it becomes an excuse for Blitzo & Stolas to roast Verosika who was doing a diss track. Only on the Stolas Show featuring Misogyny and Plotlines Ripped Directly from Fanfics, am I right?

most frustrating -> changing the lyrics to Poison so Stolas is the one singing it about Blitzo. No, I'm not kidding. We've well and truly crossed the DARVO event horizon here

side note, I'd love for these Stolas stans to articulate why they think Stolas has a fair reason to be hurt by Blitzo.

"He lead him on!" Uh, when? Blitzo was coerced into a deal to keep his job and kept up his end of the bargain.

"At Ozzie's!" He wasn't the one who called it a date, Stolas was. Blitzo's reaction at the end of the night make it very clear he thought Stolas wanted sex out of him & he didn't invite Stolas along as a date. He obviously thought he needed to appease Stolas by sleeping with him but he just wasn't emotionally up to it, so he called Stolas out for trying to have it both ways. If Stolas had any self awareness at all he would have learnt something from that.

"Blitzo lead him on by sleeping with him!" They had a one night stand after which Blitzo robbed Stolas, ghosted him and then was repulsed by/turned down his advances multiple times (and extended that attitude to his text responses, too). It's not Blitzo's fault Stolas was living in wilful self-delusion and making an imp responsible for fixing the life he trashed when he very much consented to cheating on his wife

I had to read this backwards so as to retain a little of my faith in humanity. Also, I'd just like to put it in writing now that I'm holding out a miniscule scrap of faith for the first option, because I never learn.

[old-strongest-soldier-jyl]

I really want a Murder Drones boomer shooter

ok so I've mentioned before that I play Doom, and it's my hope to one day make a boomer shooter similar to modern Doom set in the Murder Drones universe. I started learning SFML for this purpose recently, but being a university student takes a lot of time and graphics programming is hard to learn (even OpenGL, which is the "easier" of the graphics APIs :3).

However, in an effort to "ghost of done" this one, I'm going to post some various thoughts I had about what I'd like to see in a Murder Drones boomer shooter. This was inspired by a post I saw that was the Doom cover but redrawn completely with various worker drones and disassembly drones populating the area around Doomguy, who was replaced by Khan. The word "Doom" was humorously replaced with the word "Door" and was stylized in the same way as the Doom logo typically is. I believe the art was made by Animate-a-thing

So, okay, I had two ideas, one of which is exceedingly far from canon and probably deserves its own post because it falls firmly into the realm of "fanfiction" rather than being a natural/reasonable continuation to the story that Liam told. So I'll talk about the other one here, which stems from an idea on Reddit that I had seen (that doesn't seem to exist anymore? I couldn't find it, at the least).

The actual idea lol

Okay, so, picture this: Some time post ep8, the Solver is reawakening in Uzi and is beginning to take control again. Not only that, it's begun to spread (somehow) to other Worker Drones. Now, the Solver has an incredibly powerful Uzi and an army of Worker Drones on its side. Moreover, N is in denial. He believes that there must be some way to free Uzi from the Solver, so, of his own free will, he chooses to defend and support Uzi even though he is capable of singlehandedly solving this conflict.

The only Worker Drone who can put an end to this madness is Khan Doorman. His engineering prowess gave him the ability to construct a number of guns, including an improved railgun that can shoot more than once before needing to recharge. He also created some personal equipment that allow him to jump much higher into the air and dash at incredible speeds. It's up to him to fight through the hordes of corrupted Worker Drones (and maybe even some Disassembly Drones?) that the Solver has set up.

I like this because Khan being an engineer makes this idea make a lot of sense flavorwise. I also think it could be interesting mechanically. For example, if you have to fight some Disassembly Drones, since, in the show, they have the ability to heal themselves (unless they get too damaged, in which case they Solver), that could be represented in game mechanically as "If a Disassembly Drone goes too long without taking damage, it will begin to heal over time. So, keep attacking it and don't take your attention away from it to ensure it can't heal, or use a railgun shot to defeat it instantly." I think this setting allows the story to compliment the gameplay really nicely.

[dollieroulette]

First lucky(?) haul--

Couple of years ago by now, I snagged a Mystery BJD via online estate sale auction. Her pictures? Atrocious. Her value? Uncertain. Her authenticity? A mystery. I had to have her.

She was listed as a "OOAK Custom Monster High Doll," and I had the feeling that she was likely to be overlooked by monster high collectors-- I mean...

I wasn't lying when I said the pictures were atrocious. But hey, what's all that? Empty spot for..ears? Huh.

These pictures were leaving a lot to the imagination. Reverse google image searching, asking all sorts of other collectors and doll enthusiasts-- with their help we narrowed the head down to a Turb & Roxen sculpt by Soom. The body, though-- I'd have to get her in hand. So I did that-- 7 dollars was my winning bid. A lil' extra for tax and shipping and I was sitting pretty at round about 21 bucks. Well worth the risk.

THE ARRIVAL--

She arrived in a big ol' box some time later. I didn't take nearly enough photos, but here are the ones I have after first breaking her free from her cardboard prison:

I posted all these photos in a BJD discord I'm in-- with their help, we were able to narrow it down to an earlier Soom Little Gem release. It all looked correct-- weird lil' knee and elbow cups, all proportions, hands and feet easy to match up. Exciting! So far, she looked PRETTY legit! Yay! Uh. I mean kind of. We mostly came to a dead end. Yeah, looked to be Soom-- was, y'know, MAYBE legit? But finding pictures of all the older Soom bodies was harder than I thought it would be..and it seemed like whoever owned this doll mix and matched parts on the torso. Confusing. DONE CARING I WANNA PLAY-- Whatever!! I wanted to get right to trying my hand at faceup-- something I had never really given a go of before. Lets clean her up.

Alright, no. Nah.

I mean, yeah, ok that's better I think. I even found some old eyes that looked pretty nice! Here's a couple of glamor shots:

SO! Where are we now, two years later? Well, we know a few things-- this doll is -probably- a soom little gem body with a roxen & turb head. She's missing her ears and the body she came with is not from the same set as her head. It looks as if she's had her seams sanded down and, I'm just guessing here, has a boy torso top and a girl torso bottom. I think. That one I'm still uncertain about. She came with no papers-- so I can't ask Soom to help me confirm her authenticity. I've tried (and failed, haha) to find the original owner via old forums and old posts and groups in the hopes I could just, I dunno, directly ask if they had purchased her directly from Soom? Failed at that one, probably shouldn't linger too long on that anyhow. Might creep folks out, haha. I DID join a Soom facebook group and a collector who looked over the pictures said she felt my doll looked in all ways identical to her own legit dolls-- but she didn't provide me comparison photos, so, y'know. Up to opinion there. And that, currently, is where we sit with Mystery Doll 1. All signs point to "probably legit," and yet, sadly, I still have no way to confirm either way. I've recently taken her apart and cleaned her faceup off, I think it's time for a fresh look and some detailed photos of all the parts of the doll. I'll list those separately, probably tomorrow. Did you make it this far? Are you invested in this mystery? I invite you, too, stranger, to seek out answers. If you have a lead, I wanna' hear it! :) Till next time. PS: My eternal thanks to the BJD discord group, folks on reddit, folks on facebook...ya'll have put up with my obsession and curiosity for a while now! Thank you for all your patience and help. <3

[beanghostprincess]

I have this thought for quite some time, coming mostly from my twitter and Reddit interactions.

I kinda love the amount of hate I see towards Buggy. People hate how Oda loves this clown and keeps bringing him up, how he is getting more connections to story, how he gets that high bounty. They hate him because he doesn’t have powers, or isn’t smart.

And the fact that so many of them try to cope by putting Mihawk in place of Buggy is incredible. Mihawk is not some lost friend who is having insanely deep contention to shanks, BUGGY IS.

But I guess he’s not “cool and powerful” enough and they don’t get why shanks could be friends with “someone like that” (actual take I saw a lot).

I can’t wait for buggy to be more important just to see everyone lose their minds. If he gets to laugh tale, the best day of my life. And I’m not even that big on Buggy

These takes make me so angry because they're just??? Not true at all??? Most of these opinions come from the general audience and dudebros who don't take the time to analyze Buggy and just accept his character the way other characters see him. Instead of stopping for a second and thinking about why he does what he does and why Oda likes him so much, they just assume he's the lame clown everyone in the OP world thinks he is. Which is, in my opinion, extremely sad. And you don't even have to analyze shit?? Like, okay, I get it. Chapter 1082 is crucial for his character and perhaps if you don't read that you might think he's useless and Oda uses him too much for what he actually does for the story (bullshit, by the way, I'm just trying to find a reasoning behind their shitty takes). But after reading 1082??????????? Okay???? Whatever. Buggy haters get on my nerves, not because they don't like Buggy, but because they don't understand him.

Saying Buggy isn't smart is uhhh. It's just not true. The fact that he's constantly placed next to the biggest, most feared, and strategic pirates in the world just doesn't help him at all to prove that, tbh. I'd be scared af if I had gone through all the things he has, honestly. Like- People- People just ignore Water 7 and the whole thing with Usopp being a coward but wanting to be more than that because of his dream and that being scared doesn't necessarily mean something bad??? I think people just forget entire arcs and scenes to post these things. Buggy might not be the bravest but he understands the pirate world better than anybody and he's genuinely smart, he's just constantly placed in situations that force his character to be scared af (for obvious reasons) and everyone looks down on him for that. Which makes total sense for his character because his whole thing is feeling inferior and being compared to others when he has many talents himself. He isn't dumb, he just has the worst luck in the whole fucking world. Or the best. It sort of depends.

I think he lost his bravery and sense of adventure when he gave up on his dream, but now that he's being more confident in the fact that he could achieve it, we will see him using his full potential. And I am so, so excited for that. The speech he gives in chapter 1082 changed my life and it's easily my favorite chapter from the whole manga. I really, really hope they do something with that. I want him to have all the wonderful scenes he deserves.

And, okay, about the Mihawk thing: I don't agree with that that much? Like, okay, I can see people often making Mishanks relationship more than what it actually is, but tbf, Mihawk is barely a character here because Oda hasn't given him screentime of his own. He's always there for another character (Shanks, Zoro, Cross guild, etc). What we do know about him is that he went all his way to find Shanks and tell him about Luffy?? Like. Okay, babe, I know what you are. What we do know is that Shanks and him have something going on and I would really like to know WHAT exactly. I'm not even a huge Mishanks shipper but I completely understand why people like it. I prefer other ships like Shuggy and Cross Guild but, well, I don't think they use Mihawk to take over Buggy's place. I think they just want Mihawk to have some story because Oda barely gives him one. But I can see where you're coming from, though. I can see a lot of people using Shuggy's dynamic for them sometimes and it bothers me because these two have their own thing and they could easily just?? Ship both things??

People saying they don't understand why Shanks would be friends with somebody like Buggy is so funny to me, because we barely know anything about Shanks either, lmfao. He's the cool and powerful role model of the main character. He's literally the most cliché thing in the whole wide world, shut up. And I absolutely love him and he has wayyy more personality than these types of characters usually have, but I am tired of seeing takes like this as if Buggy wasn't one of the most interesting characters in this manga. But, also, Shanks would just?? Kick these people's asses for this shit. Saying you don't understand why Shanks would be friends with Buggy is just admitting you think the same way people in-world think about him, which is just admitting you don't understand his character. At least people in-world think that way because they don't know Buggy's story. You know Buggy's story. You should know why Shanks is friends with him and cares so much about him. But also?? Even if Buggy truly was a fucking loser with no talent and no dreams. Saying Shanks needs a reason for being friends with him is so dumb. Have you considered that... Sometimes... Most of the time... People don't have a reason for being friends with somebody and you don't need to find a reason for somebody's love?? Like- Perhaps Shanks just fucking loves Buggy because that's his childhood friend and he doesn't care about his abilities or talents. Perhaps he just loves him for who he is. I don't think it's that hard to understand, honestly.

You're not that big on Buggy, but I am. I really am. He's probably getting a tragic ending with Shanks but I do not care. If he ever gets to Laugh Tale or- Or if he ends up believing in himself finally. If he gets closure with him (which he will get, because Oda loves these two too much to leave them without closure). I will be the happiest person in the whole world. My mind and body say "Luffy king of the pirates!!" but my heart cries of happiness every time I think about Buggy being the king. I love him so fucking much.

[tame-a-messenger]

Damangela lives rent free on smoshtwt

...but in the most unfortunate way because have they not seen from this fixation of theirs that there's a section of us who will have a field day if Damien surprise us one day as a guest in a Starkid prod? Or another variant at Smosh where both Angela and Damien can showcase their talents and intellect? Their chaotic bickering is like treats because there's also other Smosh duos that have it too. But those fewer times where they truly shine, whether they're in the same video or not, really feels like a reward to witness it unfold.

(I am one of those who like this duo because of their musical inclinations and astounded by their way of thinking)

I simply don't know what they are trying to impose. The perfect person podcast really sealed it to me. That if what they imply is she only tolerates every interaction she had with him is simply off the marks. The pièce de résistance they can't ever refute.

Is it also not a tad reaching to practically put it on blast with their straw picking speculation that it was a Damien thing where they perceived him not being as socially adept in a way he is not in good terms to his coworkers? That's not a good look to give to someone who was masking before.

Smoshtwt can be too much sometimes,

I think I finally figured out why the interactions between here (tumblr) and there (Twitter) are so different - They partake in 'Stan' culture, while over here is a bit more rooted in classic 'Fandom' culture.

If you didn't know, 'Stan' comes from combining 'Stalker' and 'Fan' (I believe originating in the K-pop community) (though if you google it, it says it comes from an Eminem song. Funny, but I don't think that's right) so it's a bit more... intense. (either origin for 'Stan' is pretty extreme though)

That and Twitter in general festers a more hostile community. The more you make someone mad the more they interact with you, so Twitter pushes that content because of that.

(Back to your ask)

I don't know if I could physically watch a Starkid production with Damien in it, PURELY because I'd be TOO DAMN HAPPY. I'd be pausing every second and hyperventilating lol. (fr though, that would be SO FUCKING COOL!!)

It's maybe a little bit of a weird relation but, their dynamic to me is like watching a movie with incredible writing? For example of what I mean by that- Their Reddit Stories Ep really had me thinking totally different about all the situations. Literally every story Shayne would read out I would be thinking about what I thought about it, (I like to see if anyone on the couch is going to have similar opinions to me) and every. single. story. Angela and Damien came up with points I never even thought about, but were SO RIGHT!

He'd bring up something, then she'd dunk it with the most factual thing I've ever heard! (that guy not being able to wear that watch ever in front of his girlfriend !!) That whole episode is so good just for the way they both problem solve and how well they compliment each others opinions! They just have such good dialogue with each other. (Genuinely Oscar worthy writing in that episode of RS)

Every time I come across a post ANYWHERE talking about how they don't get why people even like Damangela because "Angela doesn't even seem to like Damien" it makes my eyes pop out of my skull.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? DO WE KNOW THE SAME ANGELA AND DAMIEN???

Like the sheer amount they both have gone on record saying how much they enjoy each others presence and love each other doesn't mean anything to them?! The amount they make each other laugh??

Like it really does come across as these Accounts just really not liking Damien more than anything to actually do with his and Angela's dynamic. (I could talk about reasons why Damien comes across as 'awkward' or 'bad with coworkers' to some people at length, but I'll save that for another day)(<-signed, Another Neurodivergent person with people issues <3)

I'm also totally convinced all the people hating on Damangela haven't seen much content with both of them in it. That's the only reason I would accept as to why they hate Damangela so much lol, they truly just don't know what they're missing out on <3