#posting in the main tags bc i need to DO IT SCARED

[iholli]

squeaky clean ✈️🚀

Blitzwing returns to the Nemesis after a particularly rough day. Fortunately, his favorite raticon knows just how to calm him down.

that whole analysis post I made about Blitzwing's dislike for getting dirty hit me so hard I needed to write a whole fic and draw a whole thing about it. my conjunx deserves to be happy and that includes a nice cleaning session-- something that in turn makes RTE very happy too! enjoy my BlitzRat 💜

contains: a very pissed off Icy, tons of fandom lingo, and LOTS of fluff. yes, his accent is written, I love his accent, I'm sorry. there's only a bit of it tho 💖

RTE-09 flicked an audial at the familiar soft hiss of their berthroom door sliding open. The scavenger rolled onto their chassis to peer up at the doorway, venting sharply and pinning their audials back in shock at the sight of their conjunx.

Blitzwing was livid, his red optics glowing dangerously with his plating and wings fanned out. It was rare for his icy faceplate to express anger, but when Blitzwing was truly angry, he seethed. The door slid shut behind him as the triple changer stalked further into the room, giving RTE an even better view of his frame, which was absolutely caked in mud and various forms of Earth flora. RTE jumped back on all fours as they realized their conjunx was soaking wet too, dripping water all over the floor.

"By the Primes, Blitzy, what happened to you?!"

Blitzwing's engines growled in response; his frame relaxed ever so slightly at the sound of his conjunx's voice though his faceplate still whirled until his visor flashed in outrage. "Slag sucking Autobrats set up a fragging trap out on zeir Primus-forsaken island and dumped Lugnut and me into zis filthy swamp!" Before RTE could even shutter their optics the triple changer's faceplate was back to blue, a slight snarl showing his fanged dentae. "And now I'm covered in all zis organic slag!"

His whole frame heaved as Blitzwing vented so intensely smoke seeped into the room. He clearly wanted to lie down and whine for the next three megacycles, or at least until his conjunx tired of it and got him cleaned up. Knowing as much, RTE climbed out of the nest to cradle Blitzwing's helm in their servos, the triple changer melting into their touch as RTE soothed him. "Aw, Blitzy, I'm sorry. You'll beat their afts next time. C'mere, I'll help you get the gunk off." They took his servos and tugged him towards the berthroom's adjoined washrack, Blitzwing complaining all the while with increasing phrases spoken in Cybertronian and even Quintesson about the mud and leaves and whatever else clinging to his paint-- he really was upset if he overrode his translator.

The scavenger let him be as they set up the wash hose, finding the slightly softer pressure nozzle Blitzwing preferred and adjusting the cleaner spray to the lukewarm temperature he liked. After all, Blitzwing was particular, and his conjunx knew every detail. The triple changer shifted from pede to pede as he rambled on, RTE nodding to whatever irritation Blitzwing was saying about the horrible green stuff on the Earth water's surface or the irritating names that annoying yellow minibot called him or how Megatron snapped at him for coming back empty handed again. RTE's expression was carefully neutral, though they made note to hit Bumblebee over the helm later for insulting their conjunx; it was best to let Blitzwing go until he felt better with the complaints out of his system.

The triple changer's ire soothed gradually as RTE rinsed the worst of the mud and greenery off, even hovering on their pede boosters to get up to his tank turrets. Though Blitzwing continued to whine about his orbital cycle, his frame settled under the spray and then the foaming solution RTE used a soft-bristle sponge to gently scrub him with. When they got to his faceplate the scavenger paused, tilting their helm with a nonchalant expression, until Blitzwing trailed off to glance at them.

"Vat?"

"Yapper." RTE grinned, poking their glossa out at him before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Blitzwing blinked for a moment, then glared at the scavenger, his fans kicking on before his faceplate spun again to a jagged grin. "Oh, I can show you yapping, sweetspark!"

"No." RTE rolled their optics. "Shut your intake while I'm trying to clean your face or I'll bite you instead."

The triple changer's grin widened and he giggled. "But I like when jou bite me, Ratty!"

"Don't you start, Icyhot!" RTE huffed, their smile never faltering. They scrubbed Blitzwing's faceplate with the foaming solution as he giggled, his laughter continuing even as his faceplate rotated so RTE could clean each one before returning to charcoal. He started talking again once RTE moved to his shoulder cannons, albeit with fewer complaints. Crisis avoided, the scavenger mused-- Blitzwing had calmed significantly if his sillier side had won out. As much as they enjoyed the true seethe when Blitzwing got into it, they preferred their conjunx happy, or at least in a good enough mood to bicker with them.

The triple changer settled into humming whatever random tune crossed his processor as RTE finished the scrub and rinsed him off again, checking him over for missed spots though without concern for all the little nooks in his plating, for now. Feeling better, Blitzwing shook the solution from his plating, cackling when he splashed his conjunx and RTE squeaked in protest.

"Blitz!" RTE fluffed their plating in response, leaping up onto his shoulders and nipping his neck cables. "You fragger!"

The triple changer yelped, twisting to bite the exposed softer protoform of RTE's shoulder. The two quickly escalated to a play fight, nipping and snapping dentae as they tussled and chased each other around the room. After a few minutes RTE had Blitzwing pinned to the tile floor, a smirk stretched across their digital faceplate. "I win!"

"Only because I vas already tired!" Blitzwing huffed, his visor glinting as he easily faked annoyance. He didn't really mind losing-- it was fun to roughhouse with his conjunx, and seeing the victorious expression on their faceplate was always worth it. Still, he could pretend, since he'd get attention.

And RTE gave it to him, rolling off the triple changer only to sweep him up in their servos, their chassis puffing out a bit when Blitzwing's engines sputtered in flustered surprise. RTE was all too happy to show off and carried the bigger mech as if he weighed nothing. They deposited him on their nest and climbed in beside him, ignoring Blitzwing's halfhearted grumbles of protest as the scavenger dragged him close for their favorite part of the cleaning routine. RTE waited for their conjunx to settle, his helm resting in their lap, before letting instinct take over, their clawed digits digging gently into all the little crevices in Blitzwing's plating to remove dirt and debris the wash had missed and satisfying the grooming urge RTE inexplicably possessed. Blitzwing relaxed visibly, folding his digits across his chest and his usual calm faceplate rotating into view before his optics offlined, his engines only making the occasional little growl when RTE felt the need to get at a spot with their dentae and nibble.

Through the mental haze of instinct RTE admired their conjunx, their spark warmed to see him so peaceful after the rough cycle. They paused the grooming session long enough for Blitzwing to online his optics again and glance up at the scavenger curiously. RTE softened further, multicolored hearts popping up on their screen.

"I love you, you know."

Blitzwing hummed and gave his conjunx that sweet little smile they so adored. "I know, Ratty. I love jou too."

[necrotic-nephilim]

bro come back we need your commentary more than ever. Jayhelena canon event

AHAHAHA I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND FOR DAYS ANON HOW'D YOU KNOW. perfect moment to show off the shitty meme i made based off a random message i sent in a discord server a couple of weeks ago.

jokes aside: i do have a LOT of thoughts on all of this, and even more thoughts on the reaction to it so ty for giving me the chance to rant.

as far as the comic itself goes: i am? cautiously optimistic, personally? hopes are high but expectations are grounded. Gretchen Felker-Martin is a *fantastic* trans horror writer (i highly rec her novel, Manhunt) but she's pretty new to the comics scene. she's written a single issue with Jason, a Beast World story that's pretty polarizing. most fans i know dislike it, my personal opinions on it are... it's a bit lackluster? i think some parts of it miss the mark on Jason's psyche, but the overall theme it's trying to convey about cycles of violence enacted on victims like Jason and police brutality are interesting. while it's not a great start for GFM with Jason, the Beast World event was so shit overall, and the whole concept of all these characters being "not themselves" mentally, i'm willing to overlook it. (idk if there are any good BW stories but all the ones i've read are shite... Helena's BW story has her literally being beaten by Cass using a laser pointer on her so... i will take *anything* over that personally lmao at least GFM seems genuinely interested in exploring Jason's inner workings, yk) it could go really well, or really poorly. i don't think we have enough info on GFM's writing to know how she'll handle an ongoing with these two, but my fingers are desperately crossed.

the main concerns i have about the comic are firstly the plot itself: which is described as Jason tracking down a cop-killer, and how that could so easily become copaganda. however, the Beast World issue GFM wrote was incredibly anti-cop. (and she even said on her bluesky that ppl shouldn't be worried about this run being pro-cop) so, i do think there's hope there. my other worry is the history of these characters GFM can't control- this story is happening right after H2SH which is frankly, a fucking disaster for Jason. and Helena's biggest Rebirth feature was Batgirl & the Birds of Prey, which was an even bigger disaster for her mythos. neither of these characters are standing on great foundations, and i haven't cared for either of their current characterizations for the past decade or so. it's an uphill battle for even a fantastic writer to try to meld good characterization with the current state of these two, and i could see it screwing GFM over, which rlly sucks she's not getting as fair of a shot as she could be.

all that said, the aesthetics look fantastic (tho, i'm not personally the biggest fan of either suit redesign) and i do love getting Helena and Jason out of Gotham, bc it means we won't have the everlooming Bat presence hanging over their actions. and as for the romance? i'm CACKLING. i've *always* suspected that if we ever were lucky enough for a Jason/Helena team-up, they were bound to end up fucking, and i'm DELIGHTED to be vindicated. this ship is one i do adore in concept (mostly as a hatefuck sort of thing) but could see go horribly. i trust GFM to write women, so i don't think Helena's going to get sidelined as a one-dimensional love interest, which is the biggest fear i've seen expressed. it's not *entirely* unlikely she'll be OOC (i don't think we know enough to comment either way atp, given GFM has never written her) but i do think she's going to be dynamic in this run. and honestly? with the shit content Jason has been getting recently (Robin Lives, the current fuckass Jaybin comic) and Helena having her backstory mutiliated and getting sidelined to hell as current comics don't seem to know what to do with her, i want this to go well *so* badly. i'm rlly hoping it will! and i do think the romance can absolutely work in a fun and interesting way. wouldn't be my top canon pick for either character, but i love the intrigue of it and how these two could (and hopefully are going to) challenge each other and find solidarity in their respective victimhoods.

that said, i certainly don't begrudge Helena fans for being pessimistic about this comic, or disliking the concept in principle. i'd far prefer Helena be getting a solo than be a supporting cast/love interest for a man's run. that said, i think calling this run a "power fantasy" and "wank content" (takes i have seen) is absolutely asinine. we don't have it in our hands yet, we literally can't say until it's out. (and tbfh- these takes are transphobic against GFM, even if unintentionally.) but at this point, i think anything is something for Helena, and i am not going to insult the concept until i've seen the story. if Helena fans don't want to read this bc they don't like Jason or just don't want to see her sidelined, i get that entirely.

beyond that, the take i am *not* a fan of is that this is bad bc Helena has been Dick's love interest. anyone who says *that* loses all validity to their argument for me. Helena has been a dynamic character long before she met Dick and to *only* view her as an extension of Dick and thus define every future relationship she has through Dick is the most ass backwards misogyny i've seen. also. it's comics, man. everyone's going to team up with everyone and fuck everyone. it's just the nature of these characters getting used over and over and over. it's so wildly degrading to Helena to pretend you're protecting her dignity and honor by not wanting her around Jason, or by treating her as just "Dick's love interest". (when she and Dick never properly even *dated* and have never been right for each other. that was sort of the whole point. but i digress.) i also think some takes from Helena stans about Jason are made in incredibly bad faith, just because some Helena stans find some sort of superiority complex in liking her and hating him. it has always read incredibly performative to me.

in summary: i have been deserpate for *years* for these two to interact, and i'm genuinely looking forward to reading this comic. i have reasons to be a little doubtful of some issues that *might* come up, but GFM is a great novelist and i hope that translates to her ability to write a great ongoing. did i ever *actually* want this ship to go canon? no, but under a queer woman whose pretty solid at exploring intersectionality and leftist politics in her works, i'm willing to hear it out.

and just so we're clear: the *second* this comic is out i'm putting the Robles variant cover where Jason and Helena are almost kissing straight on my wall. even if the comic is shit. i'm forever immortalizing it as a giant win for me personally, one of the few ppl capable of liking Jason Todd and Helena Bertinelli at the same time and being cool with the idea of them kissing, lol.

[chizelkreq]

Why does reconnecting with yourself have to be slow and painful

[leighsartworks216]

How the LADS men would react to some of my favorite games

All x Reader (separately, and it's not the main focus)

Picking out games for them all was kinda difficult, bc I have so many favorites and I wasn't sure what they'd react to or how they'd react. But I'm pretty happy with these

Based on this post

Warnings: crackfic (kinda?), one horror game, slight angst with Zayne, swearing

Word Count: 1,123 (oh hell yeah)

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form (Psst fill this out to be tagged in future fics! - Updated to include Xavier)

Xavier:

I think Xavier would love The Outer Worlds

I mean,, it’s a game that takes place entirely in another solar system where you crash land in an escape pod on a strange planet and gotta figure out how people here work without letting them know you’re “not from here”

They literally call the player “The Stranger”

I think he’d love looking up at the sky in game

Every one of the sky boxes is gorgeous but Emerald Vale especially

I think he’d find a safe area in game and put it on just to stare up at the sky (and fall asleep too)

Tries to choose the best outcome for every situation

Which means fucking over the government and not feeling an ounce of guilt for it

But fucking over the underdogs even for a minute feels awful

Has to ask you which choice is better or how to get the best outcome

Scarily good at fighting with melee weapons

Esp considering the heavy reliance on guns

Accidentally min-maxes the characters

He’d also love Coffee Talk

The music is so calming he usually ends up falling asleep to it

Spends a lot of time and consideration into every drink

Draws a little bunny in the lattes every single time

Probably accidentally clocks the plot twist of the game on the very first run

Tries making you the drinks irl and uhhhh he shouldn’t

-

Zayne:

Of the games I’ve played, I think The Silent Age would be very interesting for him

Helps solve the puzzles (even if you’ve played it before)

Says he finds the art style to be “charming”

Sits through every piece of dialogue no matter how long and doesn’t go forward until he comprehends it

Gets so concerned when Joe starts coughing

Generally doesn’t like seeing the bodies

It makes him unsettled and has him thinking about those he’s lost to such gruesome deaths

The twist at the end absolutely fascinates him so much

And the SECOND twist pulls him out of it

Was lowkey hoping it would be something more… fantastical

But does have to admit that horror in the now-mundane is interesting too

I also would LOVE to watch him play Ace Attorney

Could you IMAGINE???

“This is illegal.” “I know, but so is murder.” “They don’t cancel out, you know.”

“If somebody on the witness stand is overreacting that much to one small detail, I think the judge should be a little more concerned about it.”

He’d kinda love Miles Edgeworth ngl

Understands exactly what he means with the entire “unnecessary feelings” business

Wishes the autopsy reports were more in depth, for his own amusement

Accidentally says “objection” when you’re trying to lie to him about not taking care of yourself

Can’t live it down for the next week, at LEAST

-

Sylus:

Little Nightmares, straight up

He finds the concept absolutely fascinating

Doesn’t play, but enjoys watching you play

“Careful, kitten. His long arms almost grabbed you.” “YES, THANK YOU, I NOTICED.”

Loves to see you so panicked and freaked out

Laughs if something small makes you jump out of your skin

But he does try to comfort you after chase sequences when it feels like you’re having a heart attack

Pulls you into his lap and promises to protect you

Will not complain if you choose to stay there for the rest of the game

Helps you solve puzzles if you’re struggling with them for too long

But he always asks to know if you want the answer

He doesn’t need you pouting and upset just because you couldn’t figure out how to do something relatively simple

Warns the twins not to scare you for a while

For their own safety tbh

You have a gun and you WILL use it

He’d also like watching you play Animal Crossing

You can and will bully him into joining

Will catch the scary or difficult bugs for you if you’re struggling

Doesn’t need to look up any guides to find the real artworks

The very second he can get his hands on the cat cap, it’s going to you

Might ask what color you want, but he’s more likely to pick it for you so its a surprise

Wraps it up too

“Sweetie, I got you a gift.” “Awe, really?.... Really, Sylus?” “Put it on, kitten.”

Luke and Kieran have their own town

It’s extremely flushed out and scary how impressive it is

Runs turnips with them so you have nearly a billion Bells to spend on anything you want

He lets you design his house, even if you make it silly

-

Rafayel:

Tell me why my first thought was Pokemon Art Academy

He would love it tho

Sitting on the couch together, watching over your shoulder as you follow the tutorials to draw the Pokemon

They turn out like shit but he claims to love them

Passing it over to him is a bad idea, but he won’t stop whining until you do

Creates an entire masterpiece

That creature is in a damn candid shot, shaded and everything

You should have known it was a terrible idea to show him the game

When he doesn’t feel like painting or just needs a break for his mind, he’ll play it

Honestly I see him at one of his own exhibitions, standing in the corner and playing it

Thomas complains to you about it all the time

Rafayel texts you about how much the Pokemon miss you and want you to come over :’(((

Beats the game

Somehow

Not just the lessons either, literally every single drawing they give you to do, he does it

When you look at the gallery, you can see when you stopped playing and when he took over

He’d also love Little Inferno

Sings the jingle all the time until you’re threatening him to shut up

Doesn’t honestly understand the appeal at first

He can literally make and control fire, why can’t you just give him some stuff to burn and he’ll do it for you

But he slowly gets the appeal

Especially when the batteries explode

Hates the pooping cat plushie with a passion

“If that thing ever shows up in a claw machine, we are NOT getting it.”

He either fully completes the game, combos and all, or he gets to the second catalog and gets bored, no in between

Will happily watch you play tho

Loves the way you focus on trying to decipher the clues for the combos

No shame, WILL be looking up the combinations and WILL spoil them for you just to bug you

May plan a date around throwing shit into a fireplace and watching it burn in real life

There’s a fire extinguisher nearby, just in case

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44

[myownwholewildworld]

wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 4

chapter 3 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 5

pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader.

a/n: hiya! i already mentioned all of this in my snippet post, but i'll do so again. in this chapter we are going down some dark path. probably not wise considering how shit has been going down as of late in the pedro pascal fandom. i have tried to write this chapter as sensibly as i could given the circumstances reader is in. i know this is a sensitive topic so please, PLEASE, read the warnings before you go ahead. i promise i'll make it up to you guys in the next chapter. other than that, i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! i love engaging with you guys. take care of yourselves <3

warnings: MDNI, 18+. please proceed with caution. if any of the following warnings trigger you, skip this chapter. DARK THEME. r4pe threats (it doesn’t happen, but still). death threats. mention of voyeurism. unsolicited dirty talk. slapping. reader is humiliated. derogatory terms (bitch, whore). swear words. masturbation (m to himself). body shaming (well deserved though). blood. violence. gore bc joel loses his shit. murder (but it’s okay because i say so). soft!caring!joel. pet name (dove). reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 36. no use of y/n.  joel's and reader's pov.

w/c: ~2.3k.

tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog

Joel groaned, face down on the ground. His head hurt like hell, to the point where he could not even open his eyes. A drilling pain on the back of his skull pierced through the whole way to the space between his eyebrows. He squeezed his eyes, in an attempt to clear his sight, before opening them. The whole world spun around him like a merry-go-round ― he felt like throwing up.

He motioned his hand backwards to where the searing pain was coming from, only to find a new source of aching ― his right shoulder felt like it was dislocated, but the reality was that he had been shot.

I have been shot, he repeated in his mind.

Why though? He couldn’t remember what had happened nor where he was.

“Joel! What the fuck is going on?!”, Tommy’s voice forced him to close his eyes again. He kneeled beside Joel, putting pressure on his shoulder. “Where is she?”

Where is who? he wanted to reply.

And then it hit him. You both gave in to your passion, and he ruined it by labelling it “a mistake”. And then hell broke loose ― his last memory was your screams before you were dragged away.

Consciousness flooded back into him. Joel sat up quickly ― too quickly as his head pulsed in excruciating pain.

“Easy, Joel”, said the younger Miller, removing his hand to inspect the wound and tying a piece of clothing around the shoulder to contain the bleeding. “The bullet has gone through cleanly. You’re going to need to take care of that wound but should heal just fine”.

“They’ve taken her, Tommy”, Joel managed to mutter.

Doom washed over him. He felt sick to his stomach at the mere thought of what your destiny might be. He should have paid attention; he should have known you both were being watched. But at that moment in time he was thinking with his cock, not with his brain. He put you in harm’s way. He knew he shouldn’t have exposed you like that. He would not have done it had he known someone was spying on you both.

His last words to you basically meant that you were a mistake he regretted. His heart contracted so hard at the realisation of what he had said, his lungs evacuated all air within them. Where those going to really be his last words to you?

Joel gulped down the knot in his throat. He truly was a damned man. Everyone he touched, died. His deceased wife, Sarah, now potentially you too.

Death might be her best way out, that intrusive thought scared the shit out of him. He shook his head at the idea, in denial.

“Who have?”, Tommy asked. Joel could hear fear in his brother’s voice, mirroring his own.

Joel stood up with the help of Tommy and touched the back of his skull, finding the sore spot. It was wet ― blood covered the palm of his hand, which he cleaned on his jeans.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. If something happens to her, I swear to fucking God, Tommy, I will―”.

Tommy nodded in understanding and handed Joel the rifle and his jacket.

You were finding very hard to come back to consciousness. Your thoughts were a tangled mess, not being able to connect them in a way that made sense. You felt like you had been sleeping for ages, but it had only been five minutes. Your heart was beating slowly on your chest, your breaths shallow.

You heard two male voices nearby. For a second, you thought they were Joel and Tommy. But even in your semi-conscious state, you knew it wasn’t them. You managed to open one eye, looking around. Memories started to crawl back ― you and Joel fucking like the world was ending, him being a prick once again, then the gunshot, Joel falling to the ground, two men approaching and taking you away. Your heart began to race.

Was he alive? He had to be. He couldn’t have died. You would know, you would feel it in your guts. You felt like your chest was being crushed. No, he can’t be.

“God, I am gonna come”, you spotted the first man you saw, the one who shot Joel, jerking off besides you.

Had you been fully conscious, you would have retched when he cleaned the cum off his hand on your T-shirt.

“She was fucking that guy like a whore, she won’t mind if we use her for a bit”, said the second man. “I bet her cunt is still fucking wet. But we should wait for the others to get here first”.

You were slowly coming back to your senses, starting to understand the gravity of your situation. By the way they talked, it was pretty clear what their plans for you were. The prospect of being raped awakened your fight-or-flight instinct, your brain racing with thoughts, trying to come up with an escape plan. Either you fled, or you died trying.

You were sat up, your back against a tree, your hands loosely tied up in front of you. You rubbed one hand against the other, the right one slowly coming off the knot.

“I want to fuck her mouth so bad ― I don’t think that lucky bastard did”, you were not sure who said it, but you didn’t care.

“With such a small dick, I bet you I still would have plenty of room in my mouth to be able to talk unbothered”, you couldn’t stop the snarky remark.

The first man didn’t take your comment very graciously, probably ashamed of such a small dick. He slapped you with such force, the ring on his finger slashed the skin on your right cheek. You fell to the ground on your belly, your hands becoming free in the process, which you hid under your body so that monkey of a man wouldn’t notice.

“We’ll see how much you laugh after we’re finished with you and leave your broken body somewhere for your boyfriend to see”, he threatened with a laugh, touching himself again. "Open up, bitch".

He grabbed you by your hair, forcing you to face him, his ridiculously tiny dick too close to your mouth. You pulled away from him with all your might, releasing yourself from his grasp.

Although you put on a mask and pretended this was not affecting you, you were so fucking frightened. Your survival instinct kicked in again when the same ape tried to snatch you by the T-shirt as you slithered away, partially ripping it. You turned around quickly and scratched his face ― your nails sinking in his skin as deep as you could. You thought you hit his eye ― and you wished him blind. You growled like a cornered animal when the second man approached you, while the first one was on his knees wailing like a newborn baby.

“So you’re a fighter, huh?”, he chuckled.

When he got close, you knocked him off his feet by swinging one of your legs sideways under him. That was your chance ― and you took it. You got up and started running, the second man shouting blasphemies while going after you.

You had only run like five yards when a gunshot echoed in the middle of the night. You ducked and tripped, falling to the ground.

You looked back and saw that guy face down on the dirt, not moving. The back of his head was blown to pieces, half of it had disintegrated into thin air. Blood and brain bits had started to soak the leaves under him.

Then you saw Joel a few feet back, rifle on hand, Tommy just a few metres behind him.

You sighed with relief.

Joel had one look at the state of you and wished he hadn’t shot that man. He should have suffered a more terrible death. He felt anger ―no, fury― burning up his insides. Joel was seeing red, not being able to tame his feelings back under control. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins with solace ―you were alive― but also with rage.

“Man, we’re sorry, I’m sorry, it’s not what it looks like, I had nothing to do with this”, begged the man who had shot him ten minutes earlier.

Joel slowly turned around to face him. The asshole was on his knees, his left eye bleeding profusely, trousers pulled down and his micropenis dangling out of his underwear. With his eyes fixated on the poor excuse of a man praying on the ground, Joel handed the rifle to Tommy and unsheathed the folding hunting knife he kept in his boot.

“No, please, I promise you I didn’t touch her, I would never―”, his pleading fell on deaf ears.

“You fucking liar”, Joel said under his breath, positioning himself behind the kneeled man.

Joel grabbed him by his hair, pulling his head backwards to expose his neck. He could see tears on the edges of his eyes. He was young, probably around twenty, but Joel didn’t give a fuck. He deserved to die. Joel unfolded the hunting knife by removing the safeguard, placed it under his chin and slit his throat slowly but steadily. The man gagged, desperately trying to fill his lungs with oxygen ― his hands had flown to his neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but blood was pouring out like a fountain.

Joel looked at him dead in the eye until the man’s arms fell to his sides. When he was sure that motherfucker was dead, he let go of the head, the body making a thudding sound when it hit the floor.

Only then he dared to look in your direction. He wasn’t ready to see you down on your knees, dry tears on your cheeks. You looked like a baby deer in the middle of the road at night, blinded by the headlights. One side of your T-shirt was ripped from top to bottom, one of your breasts showing. You were not moving, your big eyes widened in shock.

Joel did not want to imagine what had happened to you, but he saw semen on your T-shirt and his brain started wandering off to the darkest of places. He was frozen in place for a few seconds before finally approaching you slowly, afraid you were going to step back away from him. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. He put away the knife before kneeling in front of you ― his hands, palms down, up in the air.

“Are you…?”, he didn’t finish the question because it was obvious you were not okay.

“It’s okay”, you answered immediately.

Joel gave you a puzzled look.

“No, it’s not fucking okay”, he whispered.

Then reality dawned on you. Your body had been on high alert this whole time, your instincts forcing you to put your feelings away so you could focus on the task at hand ― escaping as unscathed as possible. It wasn’t until those men were dead and Joel faced you, that you allowed emotions to take over you.

Your eyes welled up, your entire body shaking as the adrenaline abandoned your system.

“I… I don’t… It’s just…”, you couldn’t form coherent sentences.

Joel closed the distance between you two and hugged you. You buried your face in his chest and sobbed silently for minutes on end. His left hand stroked your hair as he held you and whispered calming words in your ear. When your eyes dried up, you looked up at him through damp eyelashes and he swept away the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, the rest of his fingers gently placed on your jawline.

“Your cheek”, Joel’s lips wrinkled as he hovered his thumb over the wound.

You could tell he was trying to control himself, but as the seconds went on, he got calmer.

“Can I?”, he muttered, looking down to your teared T-shirt.

You nodded and he helped you take it off. Joel blocked Tommy’s vision with his broad body while he removed his jacket and helped you put it on, discarding your dirty T-shirt to one side.

“They didn’t…”, you tried to explain, your bottom lip trembling.

“We don’t need to talk about it now, only when you’re ready ― if you’re ever ready”, he spoke softly.

You greatly appreciated he didn’t push you for an explanation of what had happened. You were not sure you could talk about it without breaking down again. You breathed in deeply and nodded again. Then you noticed the blood on his shoulder. You raised one hand, softly touching the improvised dressing.

“You’re hurt, Joel”, you mumbled.

“It’s nothing, it’s not even painful. Let’s go back to the cave. You need to rest and I need to clean that wound on your cheek before it gets infected”, said Joel while helping you up.

You saw Tommy in the distance ― he had been kind enough to give you some privacy. Joel guided you through the trees, his left arm firmly wrapped around your waist to aid you in your walking.

You didn’t get too far though, not even with his help. Your legs were so wobbly you were afraid you couldn’t stand any longer. Joel saw you struggling and with no hesitation whatsoever, he picked you up in his arms to carry you to the cave.

"You're gonna hurt your shoulder even more, Joel", you complained.

"Nonsense", he whispered, softly kissing your forehead.

You did not protest after that again and hugged his neck, your face hiding in the curve of his neck.

In his arms, you felt safe. Your haven on this twisted, revolting earth.

“One of the men said they were waiting on more people to arrive”, you remembered suddenly.

Joel briefly looked down at you. You could tell he was controlling his face expression.

“Don’t worry about it, dove. I’ll take care of each one of them”.

That was a promise he kept religiously.

[fameandfiction]

IMAGINE PART II: “Too Real to Ignore” — Reneé Rapp x Reader

— Virtual Intimacy.

Requested | PART1 - PART2 - PART3 - PART4 - PART5 - PART6

[Two Weeks Later – 1:02 Am, Your Room]

🩷 @/reneerapp Replying to @/yourusername ok i’m going to bed and if i wake up to more “Too Well is good” tweets i’m blocking you and writing a diss track. respectfully.

You were brushing your teeth when the quote tweet hit your screen. Foamy mouth, half-asleep brain suddenly wide awake.

📱 @/yourusername i’m not scared of the diss track i’ve already mentally prepared for your hate speech with every listen 😌 also… you said “going to bed” as if you’re gonna sleep. be serious.

Ten seconds later: Typing.

@/reneerapp (DM): i literally cannot stand you sometimes stop knowing me

@/yourusername: you want to be known. that’s the problem.

@/reneerapp: 🧍‍♀️

She didn’t respond for six minutes after that.

Then, she sent a voice memo.

Voice Message — 0:11

"okay first of all… shut up. second of all, don’t be right about me on main again, my therapist follows you now."

You listened to it three times.

Four, if you count the one time with your phone pressed to your pillow like a teenage cliché.

🧍‍♀️ @/brunettesinhell @/yourusername and reneé are the first twitter situationship to get married

📸 @/gaypopculture reneé voice memos @/yourusername now? the rest of us should just log off

[Three Days Later – After Her NYC Show]

📱 @/reneerapp (instagram story: blurry backstage selfie, cheeks red, caption:) “don’t ask me why i played Too Well i’m possessed or whatever 🙄” (tagged:) @/yourusername (location:) Bowery Ballroom

you (DM): YOU PLAYED IT???

@/reneerapp: hate makes you do weird things

@/yourusername: you’re obsessed with me

@/reneerapp: it’s literally clinical at this point should i tell my label we’re soft-launching?

You didn’t post anything that night. You didn’t need to.

She did enough.

[Four Days Later — IG Live Clip Goes Viral]

Fan comment: “Why do you hate Too Well so much 😭”

Reneé:

"Okay. I don’t hate the song. I hate what the song knows about me. There’s a difference." pauses "Also there's a fan who won’t let me live about it, and honestly she’s the reason I even tolerate it now." laughs "She knows who she is. Unfortunately."

🧍‍♀️ @/brunettesinhell unfortunately??? @/yourusername this is your roman empire

💔 @/wlwchaos being known by reneé rapp personally as an emotional tormentor is so iconic

[DM — That Same Night]

@/reneerapp: i watched that live back and now i’m spiraling because i sounded too soft

@/yourusername: too soft is okay i’m not gonna weaponize it yet

@/reneerapp: rude

@/yourusername: you’re deflecting with humor again

Typing bubble.

Disappears.

Reappears.

@/reneerapp: fine. i like that you care enough to fight me about a song.

You didn’t know what to say at first.

But you settled on this:

@/yourusername: i care because i think the version of you that wrote it was brave and the version of you now is just scared of being seen which is fair but doesn’t mean you get to hide

Silence for fifteen minutes.

Then, she sent a photo.

Of her hand. Palm up. Tattoo visible. “Still learning.”

Followed by a voice memo.

Voice Message — 0:07

"…you’re not what i expected when i replied to that tweet."

You smiled.

[The Next Day – Your Tweet]

📱 @/yourusername me to reneé rapp: hate Too Well all you want but don’t hate what made you write it. her: [meme of a pulsating vein on Reneé’s giant forehead]

🩷 @/reneerapp Replying to @/yourusername can you let me live no bc imagine tweeting something dumb for the bit and now someone has full custody of your emotional development 💀

You weren’t supposed to fall for her.

You weren’t even supposed to be noticed.

But now? You were somewhere between:

A joke she couldn’t stop telling,

A person she trusted too much,

A soft space she didn’t know how to admit needing.

And that was more than you ever planned for.

Requested | PART1 - PART2 - PART3 - PART4 - PART5 - PART6

[thestarseersystem]

i have ocd so i have checking compulsions so i open up hashtag s*scourse and honestly the only good posters are people who aren't fucking stupid and aren't posting the exact same shit on repeat. like xyz "sysmeds suck" and then two posts down its like "endos are fucking stupid" like thanks guys, ive totally heard this before. you don't need to keep saying it.

ive blocked like 10 blogs since ive been back in this tag. yall are fucking annoying holy shit.

im tired of going down the same path repeatedly and hear second hand that y'all are being dipshit ableist to each other. like thats insane, that's insane to hear second hand, right? that's actually so fucked.

and i dont hate neutrals, honestly neutrals have the best reading comprehension about both sides, because they can actually critically think for once. but it's kind of funny to see that neutrals get labeled as "pro endos in disguise" and then another post saying they're "anti endos in disguise", like which is it guys?? lmao

also like there's people walking on eggshells and then there's people just running on them, smashing into a wall. it's kind of like watching a trainwreck, i can't look away. my ocd won't let me.

anyway. ive been off this blog bc ive learned more about myself, and honestly to take a break from this carousel of a community. it's made me realize how actually insane people are, and with every post i see, how less and less i care about what anyone else thinks. yes, i still block people, but that's because the inner me would send anon hate if i didn't. to stop myself from telling people to jump off a bridge or something. because goddamn, so many posters are so fucking stupid it makes me want to bash my own brains out.

ive never been quite popular in the system community, since my blocking habit never allowed me to gain more than a thousand or so followers. i do have posts that still get notes here and there, but i bet its not as much as other blogs.

ive honestly been spending my days sort of dissociated, so ive not made any posts. but i have a personality disorder. so yeah. ive been just existing, without a care to try to be polite anymore, and that realization and "issue" gave me comfort to finally be recognized. I actually feel normal finally accepting it. I feel recognized. I feel understood. And I don't feel scared anymore.

I really don't care anymore, that I have to be this epitome of perfection. I've been trying to say it all along, but I've never had the right words to speak it. And I could honestly care less about fitting in. Regardless if anyone else has any issues similar to mine. I've always felt like I never belonged. And probably, because I just felt deeply unnoticed. It's something that the main symptom is identity diffusion. No wonder, even after the autism, I still felt different.

So I'm here now, same as before, just more clarity and less care to be tactful.

[vanilladella]

oc tag game!

i was tagged by @sha-brytols n blacked out a bit n did it for all big 3 of my main worldstate so. yeah. btw if uve tagged me in something n I haven't done it make no mistake that's solely bc of my personal failings (didn't press post)

Name: ophelia rye dieter-amell (girl who claims to hate her dad n yet keeps his name. hmm)

Alias: literally any of her titles

Gender: woman

Sexual Orientation: bisexual

Age: shes freshly 19 during her harrowing in 9:30

Spoken Language: ander, common, picks up a bit of antivan n tevene in her travels. leliana rips her hair out when she cant speak a lick of orlesian

Occupation: warden-commander like. kinda

FAVORITE:

Color: purple!

Entertainment: theatre + watching alistair n morrigan piss eachother off

Pastime: reading, singing. she was a choir kid n it shows

Food: beetroot soup

Drink: vodka

HAVE THEY...

Passed university: she passed her harrowing yes

Had sex: quite a lot

Had sex in public: yes. have u seen dao's romance scenes.

Gotten tattoos: yessir! she gets quite a few in both antiva n tevinter. her most notable one is a huge snake that goes from her shin up to her neck

Gotten piercings: a lot also in antiva. nose, lips, tits, belly button, clit. all of it

Gotten scarred: pre dao she only had a small scar in her hairline bc of childhood bs w jowan n anders. post dao her left forearm is like. carved almost lol too much blood magic. shes also got a massive rip in her abdomen

Had a broken heart: we've all been 14 once

ARE THEY...

A cuddler: she is very physical yes but she doesn't like cuddling in bed

Scared easily: not at all. girl does not gaf

Jealous easily: once again not rly no

Trustworthy: LMAOOOOO SURE

FAMILY:

Parents/siblings: her mums revka amell, dads a random anderfels carpenter named rye dieter (amell. yes he grabs her name for no reason at all its a long story). she prob has siblings but has never met them or her mother. affair baby core

Children: LOL NO

Pets: a mabari named benji (after my own dog lol)

Name: forrest malcolm bernard hawke. his names a mouthful ik

Alias: champion i suppose. care bear to family

Gender: prob non-binary but he has a job

Sexual Orientation: gay

Age: 23 in da2 prologue (9:30), 24 when the game full on starts (9:31)

Spoken Language: common. sad

Occupation: uhh. champion. hes lowkey a shepard after all that

FAVORITE:

Color: piiink

Entertainment: ill be honest w u. this man is entertained sitting watching paint dry if he's got a good drink n a friend w him

Pastime: reading, painting, gardening. he hates it but i feel the need to mention he's decent at fencing

Food:

Drink: literally anything pink

HAVE THEY...

Passed university: lol no

Had sex: once he n fenris get over their third divorce. quite a bit of it

Had sex in public: do blowjobs in anders' clinic count

Gotten tattoos: nope

Gotten piercings: yessir he gets a ring in his nose sometime during act 2 n then ofc. earrings. also nipple piercings

Gotten scarred: LMAO YEAH. heres the chart

Had a broken heart: shaking my fist at fenris act 2

ARE THEY...

A cuddler: YES!!!

Scared easily: tbh yeah but hes quite good at hiding it

Jealous easily: not at all. he is chill

Trustworthy: yessir! like a priest he will hold on to ur secrets n die w them

FAMILY:

Parents/siblings: we all know the hawke family unfortunately.

Children: yep yep he n fenris get a daughter during inquisition n also she named after anders. do w that what u will

Pets: a mixed mabari named moira after fereldens rebel queen

Name: felis aedanthir lavellan

Alias: varrics nickname for him is tiger lol

Gender: like a lil bit to the left of man

Sexual Orientation: gay

Age: 23 during the conclave blow up (9:41)

Spoken Language: elvhen, common, tevene, orlesian, dwarvish. most before he even gets to the inquisition funnily enough

Occupation: uhh. the inquisitor. n a red jenny ofc

FAVORITE:

Color: yellow n blue

Entertainment: dancing n uhm. substance abuse n casual sex

Pastime: see all of the above n also reading n horse-back riding. he's a horse girl

Food: anything spicy

Drink: beer

HAVE THEY...

Passed university: nope

Had sex: unfortunately

Had sex in public: unfortunately.

Gotten tattoos: vallaslin

Gotten piercings: he has one in his ear but gets a bunch more after dai

Gotten scarred: pre dai: he has a scar on his eyebrow n going across his nose n like. insane burn scar tissue on the bottoms of his feet. post dai the mark becomes a web-like scar going up from his arm to the side of his face

Had a broken heart: brother was engaged once n then he wasnt

ARE THEY...

A cuddler: yes yes yes

Scared easily: very lmao. hes quite skittish

Jealous easily: YEAH LOL.

Trustworthy: uhhh sure. in a pinch

FAMILY:

Parents/siblings: both his parents are dead as fuck (mum was iveani dad was aedanthir) but his older brother mangus is still alive n kicking

Children: nope

Pets: back in his clan he had a halla friend named fenor n he also had an ancient she-cat named Maurice. no he did not know the cat was a lady before naming her

i do believe everyone has been or will be tagged but just as a reminding nudge I tag @mournmage anddd @mageknife. enjoy

[togament]

Hi Bibi, i just want to say you’re doing amazing and your post are literally ADDICTING. I was a little worried because I didn’t know if Wind Breaker would get a lot of attention on Tumblr yk? (Just because it’s new) AND YOU CAME AND SAVED ME. I love you, your brain, and your page. Please keep going and I WOULD LOVE to hear your thoughts on new episodes/chapters (only if you want). Thank you for feeding my delulu brain. Hugs 🫂

OH YOU SWEETHEART COME HERE YOU!!!! 🫂 I’M NOT CRYING I SWEAR.

thank you for the kind words dhdjkd i don’t know if i’m worthy of such praise too like—everyone leaving cute (and unhinged ofc) stuff in the tags and in my inbox gets me all giddy and blushy and!!!!!! Seeing you guys enjoying my stupid ramblings means the absolute world to me (i see you guys in the tags and i read every single one. Love you you freaks 😏) fun fact, I only started writing fics on this account and only for windbreaker so all the interactions and thirsty feedback I get genuinely, genuinely makes my heart do the boom boom. So smooches to every one of you!!!!!! (only if you want them. you could exchange it for a headpat if you want ig)

ok enough of the sappy stuff. WINDBREAKER TIME!

windbreaker blowing up on tumblr is so so so well deserved. i was genuinely shocked because it took a little bit for the hype to catch on???? the seiyuus are literal legends (in my eyes hehe), the animation’s SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HELLO!??, the op and ending song aren’t ass??????? I’m super excited for what’s to come for our fandom and the anime. ALSO fun fact, I have the fattest crush on Umehara Yuichiro so him voicing Togame literally brought me to my god damn knees, bro. I’m expecting Eguchi Takuya to secure a character too bc ofjfkdkd his voice would be perfect for a villain.

also may or may not have picked windbreaker up bc I saw a character named Kiryu and an eyepatched character and I 😮👈😮👈 YAKUZA REFERENCE!!!!! (probably not but the coincidence is silly to me)

I’m not super caught up on the anime (on episode 7 atm!) I wanna savor every episode and binge them back to back (also bc my hubby’s got so much screentime I wanna savor that him EVEN MORE YUM YUM YUMMY). Caught up on the manga though and I Have Thoughts.

(spoilers under the cut)

the endo fight’s scaring me, man. also super fucking worried about ume bc WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM FOR SO LONG??? the chair throw spooked me. also worried about ume’s vegetable garden. I know it’s getting trampled to shit. also very worried about sakura. he’s getting all banged up by endo, his nose is probably broken now wtf he was bleeding SO MUCH.

chika’s scary too. both him and endo. i honestly don’t know what’s gonna happen next like, they’re both so unpredictable and unhinged that my butthole’s clenching in sheer terror.

I’m also very concerned about suo. WHY HAVE WE NOT SEEN HIM EATING (or maybe I’ve missed a panel lol) but with every food offer he’s ever been given, he turns them down. also the fact that we only know him on a surface’s surface level even when he’s one of the main boys is scaring me. we’re 140+ chapters deep and not one single suo morsel for us to nibble on. I don’t want a betrayal thing happening ok lol that would be my tipping point i fear.

OKAY I WAS RAMBLING TOO MUCH AHDHSHAHHA

if you guys want me to yap about a chapter or an episode or potential seiyuus for other characters or if you just want my thoughts on things (i am a Certified Yapper), i am directing you to the askbox! This was super fun!! Extremely forgetful too so this could help me remember all the stuff that’s happened so far.

thank you so much again for sending over an askkskfnnxnx heaven knows i needed a little pick me up today. you delivered and made my entire day, sweetheart!!!!! Ily!!!!!!! 🥹

[juicezone]

venty post ramblin idk

my cats not eating well again (she didnt eat well right before i left and she's still not eating well now) and she refused to take any of her pills while i was gone (my gram tried but she wasnt able to hold her and force her to take them) and shes not taking them w cheese like she usually does so. we have to hold her and shove them down her throat and she gets so upset and stressed but she's still not eating well so i might have to schedule another visit

and im lowkey so so scared that she might need like. something internal done like idk if i can afford surgery i think im gonna be able to manage to get her teeth pulled maybe but. i have college payment coming up soon

and im so behind on college work and IK its my fault im just. this one course REQUIRES AI USE IN THE PAPER and its just. killed any motivation i have for this course and im struggling so hard to write either of them (the technology ethics course requiring AI usage is like. insane to me. like.)

and idk if im gonna get to do artfight this year bc im so busy with the stuff im behind on and idk im struggling with art motivation rn like i wanna do requests so so bad but its so. demotivating when i put my time and effort into making free stuff for people's agere requests and idk. i appreciate so so much when people leave nice tags or comments (especially when its the requester i appreciate that so so much) but like. idk. idk. it crushes me especially when i do art for non-anon people and they either just like and dont rb or just rb and dont even say "thank you" or anything in the tags. like ik im complaining abt something stupid like. im not gonna lie i kinda expect it when im making art for ppl athis point but i guess it just kinda gets to me sometimes. even if its like you dont wanna put it on ur main but u dont have a side... a message or a thank u or smth would be nice.... idk...

and my parents are fostering again and idk. its a good thing dont get me wrong but sometimes it makes me so upset and jealous that like. you'll (mostly my dad) raise other ppls kids nicer than you raised me and my brother. ik he feels bad bc he's said it but like. idk. one of the kids (i cant give. too many details lol bc legal but. both r kinder aged boy sibs) was pulling the others hair and the younger was crying and dad (i literally barely call him that except to his face its so weird typing dad for him lol. paternal unit. PU) anyway he kept telling the younger who was crying that "ur fine ur fine stop crying" but nothing to the other boy and i just. this is why i have problems expressing my feelings bc you pull this stuff and idk. idk)

on too of everythin i woke up this morning n started my period and so we got dysphoria misery on top of eveythin Q_Q kinda jus went back 2 bed n had a little cry befor i had t run errands

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[pynkhues]

https://www.tumblr.com/fishjellylou/766623772774137856/yall-white-mfs-need-to-stop-speaking-on-louis?source=share

As a disclaimer, I swear I'm not trying to start something, but this person is clearly talking about your post. The only reason i bring this to ur attention is bc

1. They seem to be purposely misinterpreting a lot of what u said and

2. It sums up a certain attitude in fandom that's been bothering me.

You always back up your interpretations with textual evidence and seem very open to other people's interpretations as well, so this type of reaction seems very hostile to me for no reason. And I feel like this readiness to call racism over any differing opinion on Louis only manages to reduce his character and discourage people from exploring his complexities or engaging with the character at all.

At least for me, it makes me scared of sharing any opinion, because people in fandom don't seem to be open to debate and conversation, they just claim one interpretation as the only valid read of the show and anyone who disagrees is suddenly racist.

I guess i just wanted to get your take on it and ask for advice on how to deal with this type of backlash when it comes to engaging in character analysis. Your insight is always appreciated <3

Oh! Yeah, I mean - - they certainly seem to be referring to me without @'ing me!

And mmm, yeah, I'd say it reads to me as a bad faith interpretation of my posts, especially as I certainly wouldn't describe how I wrote about Louis today as a 'diabolical jezebel' - in fact, I think it's lowkey the opposite given I think he's a character who has a healthy sexual appetite which sometimes manifests in the wrong direction as a result of trauma and circumstance, as opposed to the puritanical virgin some would depict him as - and literally, explicitly said that I don't think Louis' a liar, but rather has the normal response of trying to paint himself in a better light in his memories, but y'know, they're allowed their interpretation of my posts, just as they're allowed their own readings of the show.

As someone who's been around the fandom traps for more than a decade, I can't say this isn't something I'm used to, and I kinda think it's important to be okay with it? I make these posts publicly (even if I do try to avoid using main tags lowkey for adjacent reasons to this one), so people can respond to me publicly. That's okay! I've kinda been doing the same with the l*slou fest, so I'd be a huge hypocrite to have an issue with what they do when I'm doing it a little myself, haha.

But to me posts like this also just try to weaponise the idea that being called racist is worse than being racist, and as a result is a way to shut people up, like you said. I'm open with the fact that I'm white and Australian - arguably the worst type of White, haha - and I know that I have race biases that I'm working constantly to unpack, and I work in DEI at my theatre company, so trust me when I say I've done a lot of 'official' training too, which feels stupid to talk about here in this context, but is a reality of Things I've Done.

I engage and read and listen a lot, which is all to say, I suppose, that I do try to be very conscious and present in how I exist in these conversations, and it's a funny thing to come back to fandom spaces where people do want white people to take on a cultural load, want them to engage particularly with characters of colour, want them to create fanworks involving POC - all things fandom is notoriously bad at! - and then ultimately - - y'know. Weaponise race in an attempt to shut down conversations they don't like (and I include a lot of white people in that too). It too often feels like race becomes a moving part to keep characters under certain fan interpretation ownership, which feels symptomatic of broader fandom entitlement.

I don't know. I hear you, basically, and I get your nervousness about engaging, but at the end of the day, conversations won't happen if they don't happen. Sharing your thoughts and knowing - and being able to articulate - your intent while keeping an open mind to criticism and an eagerness to learn is always a positive, at least to me. Some people are going to engage in bad faith - that's kind of inevitable these days, I think - but there are going to be a lot of people who engage in good faith too, and I don't know. A lot of people tell me I have a bit of a crap nose for it, haha, and tend to engage more of the bad faith than I should, but I always try to take things optimistically and in good faith. I like to trust that people mean the best, and when they don't - - well, that's for private chats, haha.

[antisociallilbrat]

Normal People Scare Me Chp. 1

Read on Ao3

Summary: In the wake of a past year that held nothing but tragedy and hardships, Bill and Susan Denbrough set their sights on a new home, someplace quieter than their current L.A. residence. They do so in hopes of saving their fraying marriage. They have an incoming baby to think about after all. Derry, Maine is where they happened to find themselves relocating. Specifically to a nice, older house on Neilbolt Street.

What will happen when they learn of their new house's infamous, bloody, history in town? Or when they start to realize that some of the stories and rumors that cloud around the house are indeed true? When will they realize that some of the residents in their new home have their own agenda for the relocated couple?

During their time here they'll meet many colorful people in the town of Derry. A few of these faces include the sweet gardener Mike who works for the house on Neilbolt to the punk kid Richie who always seems to be lurking around. Can't forget about Sonia and Eddie Kaspbrak, their new neighbors who may not be who they seem. And there's Sheriff Henry Bowers who just gives Bill a bad feeling.

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Or I wrote a fic with an au so far removed from AHS Murder house that u can read it w/o seein it

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Bc this fic is so tag heavy I'm only going to post it to Ao3 bc I want to make sure you read the tags first but I'll still post about when I update the fic over here.

Time for some quick housekeeping though under the cut.

This fic is apart of the 'finish your shit' big bang. Bc of how Ao3 works I'm going ahead and publishing the first chapter. This fic about 70% done, I have the first ten chapters done at least, plus all of the 'history of the house' is written. The next few chapters need to beta read and once they are I'll post them too. Bill will actually show up next chapter.

The last chapter of this fic will be posted Oct 31st, Halloween. I don't think I'm going to have a posting schedule, I just need to get all 39 chapters out between now and then. I'm hoping to not post so quickly that there's a lull between what I have and what I need to write so for now I'm going to space the updates out.

The reason Bill is with 'Susane' and not Audra is bc I have other plans for Audra. She will pop up and I'm excited about how you all will get to meet her. And Susane is a canon IT character, she's Bill's first publicist. You'll meet her next chapter.

I want to thank Wilbur (@reikunrei) for listening to my long rambles about this fic and I want to thank VTsuion for being my beta reader- it means so much

This fic idea has been in my head since 2020 and it's kinda crazy it's actually happening

Anyways thanks for reading! More to come!

[hollywoodsargeant]

Definitely did not expect you to drop ch 10 on random Wednesday afternoon (where I am). It felt like christmas gift coming way too early but I AM NOT COMPLAINING AT ALLL.

If my memory serves me right, you said every chapter ends with Logans birthday or smthng so chapter 12 will be final year high school, and boi do I know what that means. I also remember airport scene somewhere along your ask post, PERHAPSSSS *bombastic side-eye mode* [Narrator: this anon does not know shit but props for blind confidence].

Chewing glass because my roommate is probably wondering why I kept uttering "he is crazy" to my phone. Your Logan is an absolute mad man I want to observe his brain which probably contains a lot of Oscar-related-neurons but whatever he is SO DUMB YOUR HONOUR.

Ao3 user Miamis you are a legend.

i update boyish on no schedule and just post the chapters whenever they are done which usually is some stupid time in my timezone and at random. and without warning. bc i think it is more fun that way

AND YEAH. chapter 12 will be the second half of their senior year of high school. the list of things i need to make happen in that is long and there is one specific note on the list that scares me more than all the others... but amongst the things is senior prom (which i have plans for) + graduation (which the most those plans extend is me daydreaming about their post-grad instagram posts. for some reason)

there is an airport scene... i've written it (it needs to be edited) and it is sitting on my secondary doc amongst several other scenes for college. again there's a snippet i posted somewhere that only got a few notes lol but it has the answer implicit. when did i become some evil writer sending anons on scavenger hunts I'M SORRY it's in the boyish.miamis tag somewhere i have taken a new liking to Vagueing On Main. i apologize

AND LOGAN IS CRAZY. i know i wrote him but also no i didn't he does what he wants. can you stop kissing your friend's face while you're literally carrying your girlfriend on your back you're crazy

[wizardryplanet]

okay hi!!!

(im asking from main btw! polyamorous el here!)

so, idk if u saw tags under your posts but im absoultely invented in your stranger things spiderverse au AND SO HERE COMES THE QUESTION

i love dustins backstory, but u didn't tell anything about his relationship with el so im curious how it works for him! bc we already know that mike will try to stand far from will bc we doesnt want to lose him but it will be too hard for both of them, but what about dustin? will he catch some feelings for el? and if he'll do, will he try to not pursue any romantic relationship with her bc he would be scared that what happened to suzie will happen to El as well?

asdfg

sorry kinda excited about it. anyway, love your little comic <3

OMFG HIIII SOMEONE WHO IS AS OBSESSED WITH HENDERHOP AS ME??? A DREAM COME TRUE 🥰

Also I completely forgot to add Henderhop to their backstories so my bad! ^^’ I do want to expand their backstories with more comics in the future! But for now I’ll just ramble here 😛

In Dustin’s universe, he’s really good friends with Will and El, he knows Mike through Eddie, and seeing his good friend as another Spider-Man is endearing to him so he visits Mike in his universe a lot to get away from most things-

However in his universe he and El are good friends but never get the chance to talk considering she is still with Mike, at first- he was never interested in relationships after everything that happened with Suzie, it was too hard to bare at the time. He was out of it for the most part- he drifted away from Mike, El, Will and all of his friends. However when he went into the Spiderverse with Mike and met this El- they sort of began to bond. Mike and Will had their own problems trying to avoid each other, but realized that avoiding the problem won’t fix anything, they try to make amends as best they can together. With Lucas and Max trying to fix things as well they are sort of stuck in the middle and decided to support each other, Dustin began to open up to El because she was the only one who was there to listen and genuinely understand. She told him what she went through too, they finally found someone on equal footing with each other.

It began to shift into a more complex friendship, he would visit her universe just to talk, and she would do the same.

They both agreed to keep their relationship strictly as friends, until Dustin would be up at night thinking about her, his feelings became mixed and it troubled him, he confronted El saying how scared he was to loose her as well.

He could never imagine the world without her in it and it scared him. “The world needs Spider woman. But what happens when I need her more?”

She felt his anguish, but from what they’ve seen from Will and Mike, trying to avoid anything and each other doesn’t solve anything, it hurts more to stop.

“Then why stop?”

She told him that Spider man or no, they are people too, sure they aren’t normal but who cares? They have each others backs and understand each other more than anyone else in the world. Maybe that’s worth more than something?

Yes they do get together! And they stay together! They have minor bumps in the road in their relationship but they communicate and pull through it together, they understand everyone around them more than they know, what they see around them makes their relationship stronger, and they teach each other a lot of things, El’s relationship with Hopper gets stronger because Dustin tells her to keep the people she loves the most close to her. And in return, she tells him to open up to his close ones, allowing him to build up the courage to talk to Steve.

They are just such a cute ship and I think they would be the most healthy relationship but that’s my opinion lolll

Also they would do the iconic upside down Spiderman kiss except Dustin would jump back onto the ground so they can do the kiss <3

And they hold hands the most out of everyone, the first time they talked they held hands as sort of support and understanding of each other, it became their connection to hold each other tight and never let go. :)

Hope that answers your question!! Sorry it’s long but I love to talk about their stories aaaaaaa I will make more art of them and of the others as well because I love them too much- thanks for the question :D

[b3achysurfur]

yo hey logang member here

just wanted to lyk i actually dont care if you dislike logan, i have characters i dislike too like thats ok i just feel like this all turned into petty drama that wasnt needed 😭 i disagree with some stuff you said (like that one comment about understanding how logans parents didnt want him) but i guess i just wanted to clarify i myself dont have any true ill intent towards you i just think this whole situation is kinda stupid and wanted to clarify that so have a nice day ig- i blocked immediately because i didnt want to see more drama but here i am lmaoo

i personally like logan because he contributes to the group, keeps a level head in tough situations(like standing up for barons other victim) and can make a decision under alot of pressure (like shooting the phantom) and i think he has alot of potential but feel free to debate

hi , idk what happened but the logang has started interacting with me again. did someone make a post or did y’all js get curious? I genuinely wanna know 😣 but you guys are welcomed here !!

um but yeah I agree. thing is I never started this account to troll or start drama/discourse. the account was so that I could separate my main and sbg content and it’d be more organized. I had been posting Logan hate before hand, and a lot of ppl found my posts funny/agreed so I just continued it here. you guys just got rlly mad for no reason. I get that some of the jokes I made were a little harsh, but at the end of the day it was never that serious. I do apologize if I stressed anyone out, but this whole thing is so silly. I’m use to bigger fandoms being more aggressive, and even the sbg TikTok fandom is pretty blunt, so I didn’t think you guys would take my jokes so personally. but you live and you learn.

also I appreciate you being so kind! I understand that many ppl just blocked me bc they didn’t want to waste their energy on smth silly / js assumed it was bait content. which is totally fair! like I’ve said in other posts, I have no ill will towards anybody I’ve interacted with, regardless of how the conversation we had went down. If I’ve said smth that’s upset you, my dms are always open to chat or js tag me in a post/comment and I’ll talk with you. Sometimes I can be a bit rude, but I promise it’s not personal at all. The only person I hate is Logan fields. Not you guys. Even if your a logang member (funny y’all took a liking to that name btw 😭).

I will continue to post Logan slander, and I can’t promise that I’ll tone my content down all the way, so if that’s not for you then you’re welcomed to block me or the Logan hate tag. I use like the same 4 Logan hate tags so it’s not gonna be a sneak attack. Also even though I post logan hate, I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO DEBATING. I’m very open-minded and will change my opinion if you make a good point that I can’t refute. I just have not run into anyone who could do that yet.

okay now for the fun stuff. You said you like Logan because he contributes to the group, but I disagree. I feel like Logan has contributed least to the group. When you say “he keeps level-headed”, I feel the opposite. Logan is very shy and timid, and he gets scared very easily. Logan is very easy to persuade and intimate, which is why he got bullied in the first place. Although he stood up to Barron, he wasn’t level headed at all. He was clouded with rage (which in part has to do with the phantoms) but shows he cannot control his emotions well. In many offical arts + earlier chapters, Logan is seen crying / hesitating constantly. Yes he has a reason to be terrified, but you cannot say he is level headed. Especially compared to everyone else. I’m not sure how I feel about him being able to make decisions under pressure. I think Logan is good at analyzing situations. Thats why he was able to come up with multiple theories about the phantom world. But I feel like in order to say he makes good decisions under pressure, he’d have to actually put these decisions into action. Logan is still very hesitant though and I don’t want to base his character off of one scene, especially because I’ve talked about why I feel like that scene was a cover up and not genuine. Most of the time Logan follows the instructions and commands of others. He actually buckles under pressure imo. like when they were fighting before getting the car, Logan would’ve never mentioned he was scared if Tyler had not spoken first. He would’ve just followed everyone else due to peer pressure. Logan always acts second. I honestly believe if he had saw Aiden on the roof he would’ve never even considered using his gun because he avoids situations that have a lot of pressure and responsibility. So no, I don’t believe Logan makes good decisions under pressure. Again that’s just my opinion and I’m down to talk about it more! but if you do want to debate pls js reblog this or put another ask in bc the comment word limit is so annoying 😭