#posts made entirely for me and me alone
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jayvik alita battle angel AU. is this anything.
#hang on hang on I'm cooking#this is entirely because I'm thinking about Viktor in the pretty doll body#but also Viktor begging Jayce to upload him into the beserker body and accusing jayce of holding him back#they just fit into a creator x creation dynamic so well is the thing#jayvik#posts made entirely for me and me alone
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if you ship ingo and emmet please don't follow me
#no offense to anyone personally but it gives me the Ick real bad and the Ick is therefore associated with said people#i never mention that ship because i Do Not Like It. so why would i talk about it#i just block people and move on#this is probs the only time im gonna mention it#posting this late at night because the sleepy brain doesn't care ✌️#being on tumblr in this fandom gives me so much pointless anxiety sometimes#because of all the ship nonsense. or other nonsense like w/ that one artist and the trans jokes a while ago#and people were getting on their case about being silly about trans jokes and it's like. bruh leave them alone they're just having fun wtf#or all the stuff about creature guys and ''good autism representation''. can't a guy just live in peace wanting to be a creature#and projecting onto the faves#when i started suddenly getting lots of followers i was THIS 🤏 close to just. abandoning or deleting my blog entirely#because of the anxiety that someone would find something ''controversial'' about me and start getting a bunch of people to harass me#which. i think is not a great vibe you want for a fandom for people to have fun in#i love the friends I've made here but good lird the fandom gives me so much anxiety sometimes#because of these things#uhh. having a bad anxiety time and spiralling i think :'D
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late night cuddles
also HAPPY PRIDE
#jrwi#jrwi fanart#gart#jrwi gillion#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#jrwi chip#jrwi fnc#fnc#fish and chips#don't mind me disappearing for two months#I may have fallen into another fandom but I didn't want to post any of it#I might post a few of my favorites tho#I also the end of school but I'm finally free from the hell#also chip's fire tattoos were made entirely from vibes and vibes alone#jrwi podcast
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"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.
To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.
To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.
To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.
(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)
Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.
#THE PARALLEL GHSSHRBFK THE PARALLELS#'so everything in the ring was a trick? a lie?' he was so elated when he though hiccup was finally taking after him#he convinced himself so hard that This was the real hiccup he's finnaly going to be a proper viking a real member of the tribe#and he was so proud and glad he finally had something he could connect with his son over#but again he'd convinced himself of all that. he completely ignored everything hiccup had to say#in his eagerness to actually be a Family to actually bond with his child#he was so stuck with this fake image of Hiccup the Dragon Slayer he'd convinced himself of to the point#when it all fell through he felt almost betrayed#betrayed and scared#scared he made a horrible irrational and emotionally charged decision of essentially disowning his son#im not saying stoicks a good parent. hes not. but hes trying and alone and taking care of an entire village as well as hiccup#and all the unprocessed trauma and emotional repression#hes not great but hes not bad either. hes trying.#hes trying and its not enough but at least it got better#i love stoick#parents of autistic kids they dont understand moment#httyd#stoick the vast#stoick haddock#hiccup haddock#valka haddock#httyd analysis#maybe?#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#haddock family#moth.txt#also pls dont tell me abt how valka and the 2nd movie wasnt planned yet. ik that but i like expanding on things#and pondering a characters reasoning for certain decisions bc its fun and makes them all the more fascinating#post rewatch 1am thoughts go crazy (sorry if any of this is like redundant or confusing. im tired) if u read the tags ily
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come on
please tell me
#link leads to the music used in malks 5th story - alone by dan farley#art#malkuth#lc malkuth#malkuth lobcorp#lobotomy corporation#lobotomy corporation spoilers#made this at like 2-3 am in a fit of 'god i love malkuths story and dialogue so much'#i could go on forever and ever but here ill talk about how much i love her expressions. they way the cognition filter has her with that#constant cheery look#when shes not smiling it looks odd#and in her 5th story cutscene the music really hammers in the feeling of like. loneliness. of the facade fading away or crumbling#'come on; please tell me. so i can feel rewarded; just a bit.'#this final moment when her smile fades hits the hardest of all for me#knowing it doesnt come back beyond that (ofc until post meltdown)#the just... desolation. desperation? it feels so alone. calling out into the void#the entire time it feels so profoundly sad honestly#but this makes it feel hollow. when malkuth truly feels/looks entirely hollow#though here i may have drawn it less empty more like. expectant#i hope it still gets that across - the feeling of hollowness#again i could go on about malkuth forever. my favorite sephirah i love her so much
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✧ The Ardal stars ✧
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#digital drawing#dnd#dungeons and dragons#homebrew#original art#my art#my ocs#Setting: Heim#I drew these a couple of years ago now i think#but since i'm drawing stuff for this setting again i'm reuploading with updated information cause the last one is outdated#I will say right off the bat however#If you compare my designs to already existing IPs i will block you on sight#the last time i posted these they got compared to a piece of media i really dislike#and that comment alone made me fall out of love with this setting for almost two years#so please. do not. it's rude and unnecessary#These are the artefacts my setting and its story is largely centered around#Tethry is credited with creating them (Even though he didn't)#They were gifted by Tethry to each of the largest cities in the world to serve as power generators supplying arcane power to the whole city#immediately pushing the four sister cities into prosperity and progress. leaving literally everyone else in the dust#which caused some understandable tension between countries that already had a bit of a strained relationship to begin with#There is SO MUCH to these little trinkets and their link to Tethry and how finding them essentially fucked up his whole entire life#You'd think becoming the world's most renowned arcanist would be the best thing that ever happened to an aspiring caster#but to some poor dude just trying to study arcane language. stumbling across the magical equivalent of the demon core#was very much not on his wishlist#especially not dealing with the consequences of trying to make sure no one actually realises how nasty they have the potential to be#which. someone inevitably does
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I thought blazed posts were served by region bc I kept getting ones from a Peruvian game bar's page. But apparently not because now my dash is chock full of USAmerican politic blazed posts and I'm so tired for the love of christ i just want one (1) day on this earth where i dont have to hear about that hellhole please give me my Peruvian game bar posts back
#i am losing my patience SOOOOOO quick#Luke rants#it's everywhere I can't BREATHE without the topic being shoved down my throat#Even my relatives won't shut up about it#there was a Very specific post that made my blood boil and i would be here forever if i ranted about it#but just know. i hate how usamerica centric the entire world is i hate is can china PLEASE hurry up and become the new superpower#so i can spend a Singular Day without hearing about this#'oh but it's a very important period' Y'ALL NEVER HEAR ABOUT CRITICAL MOMENTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES' POLITICS OR SOCIAL ISSUES LEAVE ME ALONE
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I’m not going to lie I’m like really stuck and don’t know what to do with my feelings about All Of This. I dont have therapy until next week and they don’t have space to move me up and I dont really have anyone else to talk through how I feel ? I dont know what to do.
#like I live in my dads house. and he voted against me.#I didn’t speak to him at all yesterday because I just can’t look at him#I knew he was gonna vote that way but it didn’t seem real until it was already too late#and like my mom says he doesn’t have bad intentions but I don’t know how I’m supposed to know that ???#like he knew what voting for that entailed and he still did it anyways regardless of what his actual reasons were#and it makes me even MORE sick because I know that like 90% of my family voted that way too. how am I supposed to do holidays ?#and it makes me sick EVEN MORE because my best friend and my sister didn’t vote but if they had they would have voted that way too#so I genuinely have nobody to speak to about this but my mom and she does not want to hear me shit talk my dad#like I live in a state that’s almost definitely going to remain safe for me#but it’s hard to know that they look at me and claim they love me and then turn and look at people just like me and vote for their demise#like do they really love me ? do they really see me as a person ?#I know the call to action is to condemn their supporters but how do you do that when you’re entire support network is made up of people who#wouldn’t care if you lived or died if you weren’t related to them ?#what do you do if you live in your conservative dad’s house and there is literally nowhere to run because you can’t even afford to get a#shit apartment ?#what do you do when you’re just as alone with these people as you are without ?#vent post
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watching my friends spend time together while consistently cancelling plans with me and promising they want to hang out they just cant
#boink#vent post#idk if this counts as a vent#but it /is/ rather self pitying so i thought i may as well be safe#ive stopped asking bc i dont want to be pushy#ofc ik that things happen and sometimes youre just not in a place to be around people. or even certain people#but its just demoralizing when im the only one who ever reaches out#and im never the one who has to cancel#and theyre always with other people anyway#sometimes i think my loneliness is my own fault#i make myself alone and tell myself that no one wants me so i dont have to deal with the confrontation of that being true#but the incidence of relationships that just. drift#maybe its me. maybe its something about me#ive just been trying so hard to get over the fear of reaching out and being the one to approach people#i tell my friends i love them#i ask if they need me to help or to listen or to stay or to go#i really really want to be a good friend#i try not to be too clingy but to also reach out and not make myself retreat because im scared#i just really would like to have a friendship that doesnt feel entirely like me forcing it#i thought i had that with the friend i made at school#but its been starting to feel like shes avoiding me#and i ask if theres something wrong. and she says she would tell me if it was. but then she avoids me and i cant even talk to her at all#i dont know#i dont know what to do
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shout out to neku sakuraba hes like a brother to me.
#twewy#shitpost#i think the last time i made this post had to be a year ago#this post is basically an excuse to give a general fic writing update#lately ive been exploring his relationship to loneliness#neku has clearly spent a lot of time in his life alone#and that clearly majorly sucked for him since hes a character who cares a lot#(the funny little twist of twewy being that neku has always cared about people the entire time he was just terrified of being hurt)#(and therefore a major dickhead)#and then he lets a bunch of people in yada yada whatever.#the point is he has like what. weeks? months? with his brand new friends and then goes to hell for three years#now if it was me writing this i would have made that have more of an effect on him#or at least just pushed a liiiiittle more in the idea that his attitude in neo is a facade even if its not entirely one#if a main character comes back aged up for a sequel i dont think their maturity should change a too much of their character#now to be fair most of neku’s general bitchines was completely internal and we dont get that in the second game so#in my writing im just working on how to incorporate this whole thing with a) a post-canon thing and b) an au#really im more interested in how to adapt this into aus. i love making a au that has the events of twewy and neo but out of order#or in a different context#or like. the same kind of event that plays out differently but has the same emotional beats#for example when rhyme gets erased. oooh do i love to play around with that#or neku having amnesia (again)#obvs in a different au shes not gonna be like. erased. but translating that loss over into a similar event is the funnnn part#and for the amnesia thing depending on how much is lost there will drive him to act more or less out of character until it comes back#jumping to conclusions and doing wild shit based off of that#ive got some Serious Stuff in the works
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melkor. melkor? melkor melkor melkor............. melkor. melkor!!!!!!!!!!!!!! melkor . melkor..... melkor ,, melkor ? ? ? ? ? ? melkor. melkor. melkor. melkor . melkor . melkor. MELKOR. melkor. melkor. melkor hhkjjgjmelkorkjksfsk melkor, melkor. melkor. melkor , melkor.. Melkor. melkor. MELKOR. Melkor . melkor. mELKOR. melkor. . Melkor.
#leave me alone im going thru it#u dont get it. you cant understand me rn. you cant.#need him carnally need him biblically need him exponentially#text#this post was not made by my brain. but by something else entirely. sorry
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i've got andor brainrot again and it annoys me so much how i've seen people relate the line "oppression is the mask of fear" in Nemik's manifesto to vader. I know I've talked about this before, but I'm already a bit annoyed by how everything in star wars has a tendency (both by fans and by writers/canon) to have to be related back to the skywalkers, but to me, that line from Nemik is very obviously about the power the oppressed, as a group, hold. it's not about one individual who has been retroactively made the main character of an entire franchise, it's about normal everyday-folk standing together and fighting for their freedom and for each other.
#obviously the manifesto goes a lot deeper than that#but nemik talks about being / feeling 'alone' and 'dwarfed by the scale of the enemy'#and then he immediately goes on to talk about 'battalions that have no idea they've already enlisted in the cause'#and yes ultimately anakin does end up making one choice that is instrumental to that cause#but to relate a line to be about him simply because it mentions a 'mask of fear' when that line and the entire speech ultimately (to me)#feels like a rally to stand together#and when it comes from a character who not only died for the cause but whose death was almost completely unknown to the rest of the future#rebellion (which is a large theme in andor (and rogue one) i'd argue)#just feels so.... ARHGH#not everything has to be about anakin/the skywalkers!#sometimes things are about how we are stronger than we think. especially when we stand together and hold onto hope and love for each other#i do think there's a point to be made about anakin being kept under sheev's boot with oppression moreso than with real genuine power#(especially with how anakin ultimately kills sheev by just lobbing him down a chasm)#but it's the tendency to relate it ONLY to that and not to how the empire worked at large that annoys me#sorry i disappear for months then i come back with an andor rage post about a youtube comment i saw years ago that got a lot of likes#andor (to ME) is explicitly about the people who were forgotten but whose actions and deaths and torture was instrumental in creating a#more hopeful future
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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so a couple of days ago i told my mom about @ranchthoughts and i's plan for april fool's day. unfortunately i couldn't give my mother live updates as they were happening bc i went out in the afternoon and i came back only after my mom had already left to work her nightshift. it's the next day now and i just finished going through the entire waipa tag on my blog with her. i showed her every post we made, i read her all the replies, tags, and comments we got and my mom was highly amused. we were both crying tears of laughter going through everything
thank you everyone for putting up with the sudden 24h rebrand that ranch and i went through. it was a blast <3
#all our time and efforts that went into the preperations were SO worth it#i spent an entire afternoon on the ''4 love signs waipa edition'' gifs alone#10000000% worth it 10/10 would do again kdjfjkdkdg#airenyah plappert#frau mutter#happy april fool's day!#waipa 5evarrr <333#also can i just say. i adore this fandom so much 🥺#easily one of my fave fandom corners i've ever been in#also ps for those who don't know: my mom watched the back half of bad buddy live with me#so she knew the context of it all djfjjfjcjfif#which made going through all our prank posts even more fun
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working on a sailor moon screenshot trace to practice line weight variation more and i am!!!!! so happy with how this looks right now!!!!!!
#traces are so helpful for stuff like line and color experimentation#it REALLY speeds the process along and lets me focus entirely on what i want to focus on#and ive been wanting to do a new screenshot trace for my banner for this blog for a while#i think i saw someone call these a screenshot paintover once?#but when i posted a screenshot trace for the first time years ago on dA#someone literally made an alt to harass me about not explicitly calling it a trace#so im playing it safe lmao#(i know the culture on deviantart in 2018 is way different from the culture on tumblr in 2024)#(especially about tracing stuff like screenshots and figures)#(but the deviantart brainworms may never leave me alone and i still get really anxious about posting stuff like this)#asterianmonarch sketches and wips#wip#screenshot trace#trace#sailor moon#chibiusa
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cannot recommend enough to artists that sharing your art online, especially on tumblr, is a horrible decision and you will inevitably regret it.
#making this post bc i wish i had seen something similar before i made my art blog.#now art i do not want to be shared and looked at is permanently on this site and permanently on hundreds of peoples blogs.#it's out there training ai.#it's out there being stolen and sold. i know this bc people on deviantart have outright messaged me to say#theyre taking my art and selling it to a client. 'but can i have your permission?' as if they haven't already sold it.#not to mention the lack of validation is like creativity suicide.#go on r/artistlounge and you will see post after post after post of people saying they want to stop drawing entirely because the complete#lack of interaction is so depressing and downright disheartening they cant bring themselves to draw let alone post anymore.#it isnt even being ungrateful.#artists who spend hours at a time on art get ten likes and maybe one reblog.#meanwhile ai 'artists' and stick figures get 100k reblogs.#people simply do not value art and they do not value artists. you are saving yourself so much heartache by just keeping your art private or#only sharing with people you actually know and talk to.
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